The Nateland Podcast - 207: #207 Gambling feat. Greg Warren

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

This week, Aaron lucks out on free snacks in the hotel lobby, Dusty gets snubbed in his comedy club bio, and the "which sport could you best blend in?" debate reemerges. Then the guys discuss a little gambling by debating best gambling movies, best gambling songs, and learn some gambling dos and don'ts from fellow comedian and self proclaimed degenerate gambler Greg Warren. Nateland is sponsor by BetterHelp. BetterHelp.com/nate Stop comparing and start focusing. Give therapy a try by visiting BetterHelp.com/nate today to get 10% off your first month. Chime: Chime.com/NATE With Chimes secure credit card, you can improve your credit scores all summer long. Get started today at Chime.com/Nate. Chime, Feels like Progress. AG1- drinkAG1.com/nate If you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/nate. Check it out. Helix- Helixsleep.com/Nate Helix is offering up to 30% off  all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listener! Go to Helixsleep.com/Nate. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

okay welcome to the nateland podcast my name is dusty slay and i'm here with these wonderful comedians brian bates uh aaron weber and greg warren hey guys special guest today Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Greg Warren. Hey, guys. Special guest today, Greg Warren. Proud to be here. Yeah. I am. I am loving it.

Yeah. I know you don't like folks, but you got to say hello. Oh, yeah. Hello, folks. And hey, bear. Emphasizes it a different way. I thought you nailed it. Thank you. Thank you. I thought you nailed it. Thank you.

I like to really try to pronounce it. There's a running theme I read in the comments that people say I end every word with the letter T. And I don't notice it, but... I don't agree with that. Do you think about it now? That. That. But I do think about it sometimes, but especially when a word does end with a T and I go, oh, I really heard it there. They say you say it, especially on words that end with D.

Okay. I think what they're hearing is me fully pronouncing the letter D. You know, I'm really sounding. What about Alberstadt? Yeah. Keith Alberstadt. Yeah. He's got a D and a T right yeah. Keith Alberstadt. Yeah. He's got a D and a T right there at the end.

Yeah. Yeah. So I say two T's right at the end. Yeah. You sound like Porky Pig. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. And I have, you know, I don't like the word folks as much.

I don't like calling people folks. I don't mind it. People, you know, I don't mind. Hello, folks. But I feel like folks is a bit of a weird word yeah man but it's a i mean it's kind of trademark here right you got to do it but i call them podcast people podcast people that sounds pejorative yeah i would say it's a little more clinical it feels like folks you do sound like a politician trying to be

blue collar that's what i mean folks listen come on folks yeah yeah you're like all right yeah yeah it's how people that don't know how to talk to people try to talk to oh yeah yeah they got they got they get consultant was like listen you're you're real stiff and you went to an ivy league uh college and right right yeah these morons are not going to respond to that. So you need to dumb it down. How do I get them on my side? What do I say?

Well, you say things to calm folks or something like that. It's like. Speak slow. It's like in 2020 when Joe Biden had the no malarkey tour, it felt like he had a young person trying to make him sound old. No malarkey. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that was all him. I mean, I think, you know, and I, and to be honest, I'm not, I don't care for malarkey.

I don't. And I'm the oldest guy here and I don't, I don't care for it. I don't like the word or actual malarkey. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't care for either of those. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't be massive. Coach Mike malarkey. They did to have a coach, Mike Malarkey. They did not have a guy like Mike. No way.

It was not Mike Malarkey. It was. That's Malarkey. It wasn't me. There he is right there. Mike Malarkey. How about that? That is.

He's fired though now. Yeah, they've hired Bill Shenanigans. Steven Horseplay. Horseplay. He's Native American. This podcast is hot. Yeah, we're off to the races. Real hot. Yeah.

I've had a lot of coffee today, and I feel packed up. You are, Jack. I like that shirt. Yeah, thank you. I went two T's, which I don't normally – kind of like the way you say Albert Simpson. Yeah, yeah. Two T's. How I end every sentence.

Yeah, I had an emperor's cloud. But I just pronounced the T in sentence. You put a T at the end. I don't think I said sentenced. I think you did. No, that would be... Rewind the tape, guys. In the past tense. Yeah, no, I thought you said a great sentence. I thought you hit that middle T pretty hard.

I like to sound out the T's, and I think that's not what people are used to. People are used to a lot of silent T's. I've never noticed that thing, but what I have noticed, and I pointed it out, I'm surprised nobody else has picked up on it. My favorite Dusty is when you say a city, you say it as if you've already said a different city in the same state,

and you're trying to differentiate the city. So for instance, I would go, I'm going to Columbus, Ohio. And you would go, I'm going to Columbus, Ohio. You always say that. That's the way you say every city. From Opelika, Alabama. And then I go up to Nashville, Tennessee. Like right before somebody said, so Dayton? You go, Columbus, Ohio. But Toledo? Well, I'll be paying attention because we're going to be saying some cities soon. Oh, yeah. I can't wait. Start plugging the No Malarkey Tour.

You're going to be naming a lot of cities on there. I should do the All Malarkey Tour. It's just only malarkey. Yeah. Just nothing but malarkey. Yeah, and then you get some complaints like this show is malarkey. Well, ma'am, you didn't read the description. It's all malarkey.

This is what we're going for. If anything, your complaint should be that there was some non-malarkey even the intro when they bring you up man yeah they're doing they're like they're fumbling it yeah they got a slide whistle going i'd love to get on that tour yeah propeller hat on yeah just all mal all malarkey. Monkeys running around. This sounds like a good tour. It does. It does. You know what?

I'd like to be part of that if you get that off the ground. Yeah. Yeah. A little circus piano out there. However that's... Just trying to juggle and you can't do it.

Yeah. It is. It's just malarkey. I'm like, I never could juggle. That's why it's malarkey. Yeah. That's what I'm jogging on.

Oh, that rules. Greg was telling me about how other comics this weekend were talking about how they're getting show produced by this big comic or that big comic and blah, blah, blah. And then he made a joke to the other comics. Well, my special is being produced by Brian Bates. And I'm like, well, Greg, are y'all just, am I the running joke? Even behind the scenes? I mean, it was Steven. Somebody said, I didn't think it was as funny as these guys.

Listen, man. All right. First of all, it was so funny. Yeah. Yeah. It kills every time. Somebody said they were getting getting their their special produced by a couple heavy it was like nate and brian reagan side filmed or something and it was going around the room and people were and i just i was trying to think one i was trying to think of a name that everybody in the room knew okay uh and then there was some new york guys and i had this another friend there so i said his name and i And I said, well, actually, Bates is producing my special. And it killed.

It killed. Okay. And then I saw you. And I felt the need to confess it to you. Because I was taking a shot. I wasn't taking a shot at you, man. It kind of felt like it. But I knew the room. I knew the room.

Okay. And I was like, what's the right name? You knew your audience. What's the right name of a guy that's, let's say, that's not Seinfeld? Okay. Who's the opposite of Seinfeld? I'm not saying the opposite. Those jokes are the hardest because you're like, I know I shouldn't say it, but it will get out.

Respect the kill. You know what? And that's why I told you because afterwards I was like, man, I kind of threw Bates under the bus there. So you get ahead of it and let me know. Yeah. I mean, it was going to get around. It was because it was that good of a joke. Heard you're producing Greg Warren's special.

I mean, there was some bragging going on. And I was like, yeah, Bates is producing this special. He's coming in all the way on this deal. Well, I love it. I'm the punchline, even though I'm not there. No, no, no, no. The way you got to win it though is you got to start producing specials and be very good at it that would be yeah man that would be

getting back at me and then and you'd be and you know what greg now now i'm not producing and you wouldn't yeah and then not produce his or any of those guys in there that laughed at me yeah yeah that's how you're gonna that's how you're gonna show we were talking about some comics before the show i'm gonna start producing theirs oh Oh, yeah. I'd love it. Well, one of them. Good luck. I don't know any of these people. There's a lot of opinions on them.

It got a little heated. And it was. I'm just defending. Yeah. Just defending my people. But it was fun. It was a good time. We were trying to get Greg to talk a little trash on the road.

But he's the nicest guy of all. We kept calling him St. Greg. No. He just refused to. Apparently not. Well, Bates. It was Bates. Yeah, that's a nicest guy of all time. Call him St. Greg. Apparently not. Well, Bates is fair game. That's the free space on the bingo board. I am not a saint, and I've done a lot of things

in the world that I'm not proud of. In that particular instance, I didn't want to throw anybody under the bus. I get it. I respect that. And later on, I think, the second half of the tour that you weren't on, I did think of

a person or two that I didn't care for their act and I shared it. I'm not going to say it on purpose. This doesn't want to be put on the spot. I get it. I had to do some real soul searching. Would we know them? Sure. You can find it. There's a lot of comics that i don't care for their act it's harder for me to find ones that i don't like yeah but their acts yeah lots of them yeah

they're most comics and i can tell you what there's we can go back not that long ago and i can show you some sets in mine and i'll be like, I do not care for that guy's accent at all. That's true. I've been there. Yeah. I can look at some real old sets of mine and I'm like, how did this even pan out? Who saw anything in this? Yeah.

I can see some of the laziness in the writing too. It's like, this was not a terrible idea. And you went with the third execute, the third dumb idea. If you'd have just sat down for another 45 minutes. Is my set or yours? No, mine. Okay. No, I know.

This is Bates. He's still talking about me? I never once said anything negative about your company. This is a dry bar that he's talking about. I just said as a producer, you know, I juxtaposed you with Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah. And me and Brian Regan. It was the contrast that was funny.

Yeah. Yeah. And I got to be. Exactly. I just want to be. It did kill. Oh, man. One of the bigger laughs of the weekend.

Who was in the room? I need names. I mean, heavy hitters. All people that you respect. Yeah, your friends mostly. Steven Rogers wasn't there, was he? Steven was there. Maybe laughed the loudest.

He's got a good laugh. It's a shocker. Yeah, he does. He's a good laugher. Steven Rogers was there. Hey, man, I took some hits this weekend, too. I did. You did?

Nate said that I started doing comedy with Jeff Dunham's old man puppet, Walter. They were talking about the puppet, and Nate said, no, Greg and him started together. And it got big laughs. That's funny. That's a good joke. It was. Yeah, yeah. You think that didn't hurt? So I had it coming. Where were you at, Dusty?

I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, just right outside. I love how Greg said, just the city. Yeah, man. I've heard of it. They used to have a club. I think they might still, but it was never like, it was a club that didn't pay any money. But I remember going through doing a guest set there and just loving it, loving the crowd

and everything. But there's not, would you work at theater? This club is outside of Albuquerque in a casino called the Star Anna. I don't know. I don't know the casino. I don't know what it's called, but Santa Anna Star Casino. That's it. Okay. It's called Q Star Anna. I don't know. I don't know the casino. I don't know what it's called, but Santa Anna Star Casino. That's it. Okay.

It's called Quesada's, and it is the guy who is in Breaking Bad. He's the partner. Oh, yeah, man. He's the partner of the main cop. Gomez. Yes. Is it his casino?

It's his club in the casino. His name's on it, at least. Yeah, Quesada. Yeah, I think he's a big part of it. So it's a club? Yeah, it's a club. And it was really great. I had a really great time.

But I do want to show, Aaron has the, I was looking to, I just went to the website to see what time the show was. And they pulled up my name. And this was the bio they used for me. It says, Dusty Slay is an American comedian. He was the youngest comedian to have ever performed at the Grand Ole Opry, having since been dethroned by fellow comedian Aaron Weber. That's the bio that they put for me. That's all the information you need about the show.

Is that you going on his Wikipedia page and changing and changing it i think so it feels a lot i think that is my wikipedia bio well this is it was so funny this is a club i have no relationship with i've never been there i've never been to albuquerque i don't know why they shoehorned me into your bio but i appreciate it now what they was, they said they got a new website. And the guy that designed it just put this in as a placeholder and then forgot to change it. Right. But it's so funny to read that as my bio. And imagine you're in Albuquerque and you're like, I'd like to see some comedy tonight.

Yeah. Oh, Dusty Slay, I've never heard of him. What's he all about? Yeah. Oh, he's an American comedian. He's American. That's good. All right. I'm in. And he's the youngest American comedian. He's American. That's good. All right.

And he's the youngest to perform at the Opry. This is interesting. But not anymore. He's been dethroned by another comic we don't know. Well, when's this Weber guy coming? I'll just wait for that. I'll wait for this Weber guy. This young buck.

Yeah. Because this guy, he's over the hill. Yeah. This old has-been. I'll wait for this Weber guy. This young buck. Yeah. This guy, he's over the hill. This old has-been. My bio's going to be youngest performer at the Opry after eclipsing fellow comedian Dusty Schmitt. That'll be my bio.

One even close, really. The shows were great, and I had a lot of fun. They treated me well. They gave me a nice steak dinner at the restaurant. How about that? It was very nice. I had a lot of fun. They treated me well. They gave me a nice steak dinner at the restaurant. Yeah. How about that? Yeah, it was very nice. I had a great time. Hot shows. Hot shows. Yeah, man. I told you, you did my hometown a while ago and a lot of buzz in St. Louis about your show.

That show was great. Yeah. At the factory? At the factory. Yeah. That show was awesome. Yeah. I heard a lot of really good things. Yeah. The factory was so great. It was such a cool venue it is it's nice yeah it's it's and it's also like not downtown so you could i could just like park out in the parking lot as long as we're talking about that i need to say this because it's definitely not downtown yeah it's out in the suburbs where most people in st louis lived yeah okay so i did st lou did St. Louis with Aaron and Nate and Steven and Dustin.

And we stayed, we stayed downtown at the Four Seasons, which is a great hotel. We played the Fox, which is a beautiful theater. Nate sold out five shows of the Fox. It's never been done before. ever been done for the route that you take from the fox to to the four seasons is some of the worst areas in st louis wow it's a it's not nice okay it's it's it's a it's not a nice neighborhood it's a dangerous neighborhood yeah okay that's all these idiots saw of st louis the whole weekend the whole weekend that's the only thing they saw of my hometown. And they,

and they didn't have a lot of nice things to say about my time. They didn't. And then, and the whole time they were just bagging on. I'm like, guys, could we just, I swear,

if we just get on the freeway, if we just go three blocks from the, no, no, we're going to go. And like Chesterfield is very nice. It's great. Isn't it?

It's fantastic. Man. It's great, isn't it? It's fantastic. Man, it's beautiful. But these guys will never say one positive thing about St. Louis. Will O'Donnell lives in St. Charles, I think, around that area. He talks about how great it is. It is. He said there's a street that kind of separates the good and the bad. Is that true?

From where we were? Will, I think Will tell me like there's a st louis it's kind of sectioned off he's talking i think he's talking about where he lives is is the other side of the missouri river he said kirkwood's really bad no you're just taking shots man kirkwood's kirkwood is the nice kirkwood's like mayberry it's so nice i don't know st louis it's real not kirkwood's where I live, by the way. My friend. You guys wouldn't be able

to keep... You'd have to just say, this is great. I can't do the joke anymore. My friend was moving across the country and he was moving with his whole family and he had his car loaded down with like everything they owned. And his wife, they were passing through st louis and

his wife wanted to check out the arch so they pulled into the arch got out went into the arch went up came back down out to their car everything gone they could see it you can you can you can that's my car that looks a whole lot like my mattress that guy yeah it was bad man i mean and there's no convincing them now yeah there's they're just and then and then just like we would drive these are tough neighborhoods and they would be like i'm gonna get out here and get something. I'm like, no.

That was the running joke. Do not get out. I need to use the bathroom. Let me pull over here real quick. No. Greg was like, keep going, keep going. Don't. Don't do that.

That was fun. Yeah. You know. Well, I was at the Grand Ole Opry last night. That's cool. Set a record. The oldest comedian. Surpassing Grandpa Jones.

So that's on my bio now. Who's Grandpa Jones? Is that a Hee Haw guy? You ever heard of Grandpa Jones? No. He was, wasn't he? Yeah, he was a Hee Haw guy. Oh, okay.

He's funny. You pulled him up. I met Gary Mule Deer at the airport the other day. He's funny. He's in his 80s. Yeah. He's in his 80s. Yeah. He's still funny, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Grandpa Jones, yeah. No, but yeah, I could see where you're going. That's your grandpa. Last night in the convenience dressing room, Gary Mule Deer and Henry Cho just recently became members of the Opry. Oh, yeah. The pictures are up now, but Gary Muldeer's was upside down. Yeah. Yeah. Is that just a running joke?

I didn't want to turn it back. I don't know if it was done. Like, Henry did it as a joke. Yeah. So I just left it as is. But yeah. Anyway, I was at the Opry last night, and it's great. It's such an honor to get to do it.

It's awesome. That's pretty awesome. It's very cool. Yeah, that sounds pretty awesome. How'd the shows go? It was, I mean, it was great. It was great. T. Graham Brown was on right after me.

Daryl Worley. Some guy afterwards said Daryl Worley's a fan. And I'm like, well, I don't know if that's true, but I hope it's true. You didn't talk to him? No, I mean. You don't talk to him? No. You don't bounce around and try to talk to other people in there? I mean, I walk around a little bit. If ever there's someone there that I like, I try to get in there.

I try to talk to them. Just tell them, hey, I'm on the show as well. Yeah. Grandpa Jones. Yeah. They always have an entourage and always feel weird. They're all talking or doing stuff. I did on Thursday, I followed this guy, Alex Miller, making his Opry debut. He's a young guy, old school sounding country.

Dusty, you would like him. Yeah. And he killed. He was doing great. And then between songs, he goes, I want to dedicate this next song to my grandfather. My grandfather got me in the country. My grandfather used to come to every show, and he would keep a log of every show I ever went to.

And then tonight, even though my grandpa's not here to watch me, when I get backstage, I'm going to write down the grand old Opry. People are crying. He gets standing. I'm up next. Oh, no. I mean, it was such an emotional, moment i had to address it which i've never had to be like all right keep it going one more time tough to follow that huh anyway i went

to mcdonald's you know what i mean there's such a pivot from one but you can you never know who you're gonna have to follow at these shows right it can be somebody legendary or like a heartwarming moment you never know yeah i mean the uh i'm trying to blank on her name right now the singer that went right before he's just incredible yeah and uh i think last time you were here i told the story about doing the opry and i tell that joke about giving the fake testimonial and all that stuff and then the guy that went up after me gave a real testimonial how he overcome drugs and all that stuff. Same thing happened last night. They were like,

this is a comic too. Back to back comics. I walk off stage. This guy's good. T. Graham Brown's next. He goes, I really did overcome drug addiction

in the 90s and I'm about to go give my testimonial and sure enough, he did. Wow. Yeah. You'd think you'd learn.

You would. Yeah. You would. Yeah, especially at the opera. I mean, I bet there's a lot of testimonials. Yeah. I think at least 60, 70't you? Yeah. You would. Yeah, especially at the Opry. I mean, I bet there's a lot of testimonials. Yeah.

I think at least 60, 70% of them there. I like to follow a serious thing. I followed Neil McCoy at the Opry and that's the worst I've ever done because Neil McCoy is like funny. He's running up and down the aisles of the Opry. He's very, he's very energetic. The audience is loving it. And then I go out and I'm like, Hey, I'm like, hey, this is my job to be funny.

And it just seemed less good up next to what Neil McCoy was doing as an entertainer. Yeah, I know what you mean. They're like, well, that guy wasn't even trying to be funny. He's not even supposed to be funny. He's not supposed to be funny. He's just in his bones. This guy, he's got to try. He's trying so hard. And I didn't bomb, but it was the worst I've in his bones. Yeah. This guy, he's got to try. He's trying so hard.

And I didn't bomb, but it was the worst I've ever done there. Yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty cool though. That you do that show. I mean, that's. It's awesome, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Aaron did it the night before me, I think, or a couple of nights before. I think, I think my dad would come see me if I did the Opry. I think he mentioned that, which he. Why do you, you should do the Opry. I think he mentioned that. You should do the Opry. I'd do it. Yeah. I'd do it. Yeah.

Let's make that happen. We will make it happen. I'm going to try to make it happen. Yeah. We're going to make it happen. We'll do it. Has Junior Sample done the Opry? I think he's dead.

He's another hee haw guy. Yeah. But I think he's been dead for about 40 years. 40? Lost touch, huh? I mean. I might know a guy over there. He could probably get me in.

Are you talking about the guy from Hee Haw? I opened for Minnie Pearl back in the day. He was younger than Grandpa Jones. Well, I didn't think Grandpa Jones had been around recently. Okay. I think Junior Sample is on the wall there in the convenience dressing room. I might email little Jimmy Dick and see if he can get me. See if he can put a word in for me.

Roy Acuff. I was in Syracuse, New York, and it was so funny. The whiplash of going from a weekend with Nate to back on my own in the real world from everything's perfect to just about everything of going from a weekend with Nate to like back on my own in the real world from like,

everything's perfect to like just about everything went wrong. Travel wise flights delayed. Can't get a rental car. Can't get into the hotel, lock my hotel key out of the room. Once I get it, you know, it's pouring down rain.

I don't have a ride to the club. It was like everything compiling. It's a tough club to draw into. I love that club yeah it is tough i did two shows uh they filled them up yeah you know it wasn't me but they were filled up oh yeah the shows were good yeah so it's like once we got there the shows were good but it was just the whole day was just to go from being on the road with nate to back to the real world it was kind of funny you're like oh man what else can go wrong and then everything you know do you think like because you said they filled

them up and it wasn't me so you're saying they gave away tickets oh 100 you ever feel that like if you bring an opener and uh the place is full he's like you're killing it here and you know you know i'm like these are not my tickets What obligation morally do you think that you have to tell that opener that you did not sell those tickets? Because I've been on both sides of a couple of times that they were like, man, you are killing it in this market. I was like, yeah. You go, yeah, if you work real hard, you can do this too, you know. Syracuse is one of my major markets. That's where I come to eat.

You know what I mean? Yeah, the host actually, the host was a nice guy, funny guy. He's younger. He came and he's like, yo, dude, I think both shows are like sold out. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll be full. They're definitely not sold out though, buddy. But man, good crowds.

I used to make the joke. I used to go, I was going there like every year and I used to make the joke I used to go I was going there like every year and I would always make this joke I was like I keep coming here every year

and the audience keeps getting smaller I'm just whittling it down just trying to find my real fans out here you know I like that club

I do like I like the people that work there but I do not draw very well just next time you're there you'll just get a table at Margaritaville

in the mall and just talk to the people, the five or six people that are still there. Yeah, Margaritaville's like always closed over there. I'm like,

who is this for? If you're not open at night, I mean, what? Yeah, that's not a good sign. People drinking in the daytime at the Margaritaville mall?

Probably. It's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah. Let me ask you this. I'm at the hotel i walk down to the lobby and there's like you know the little kiosk where there's snacks and stuff this is an aloft hotel there's a lot of stuff i like that hotel good snacks good snacks good hotel and there's like muffins and there's like real food in there yeah and the guy working the counter he's

chatting it up with two girls this is like midnight he's trying he's a normal he's a dude he's just trying to talk these two girls so i go over i grab some stuff and i like motion for him to check me out and he just goes you're good bro and i was like yep so i go upstairs i eat it all and i'm like he's probably still down there so i'm like how far can i take this dude so i went back i went back down with the intention to pay right and i know you didn't yes well how far can i take i'm saying i would yeah with the intention to pay i was just like well maybe i could pay for something here.

I'm saying I will pay if I need to. Right. So he's, those girls are still there. So I go and I grab a little more stuff than I did last time. And this is like specialty items. Like I got like a Reese's ice cream thing. Yeah. Like these are legit. This is probably $20 worth of stuff.

And I walk over and I have it. And he looks at me and goes all right you're good man i was in the elevator like let's go you're like one more time tell us in chapter 11 now yeah yeah it was not good but i did not go back a third time and you were that guy's conversation with those girls he was now using you and he was like yeah this guy hey oh whatever i can do to help me he's like there's a lot of losers i want to i want to point out a couple of things about this story number one yeah can you imagine the free stuff that those girls got oh my gosh they got rooms. Yeah, whatever. They're like, after you, they're like, well, you got a room here?

Yeah, sure. I don't know. Who cares? Two, I love that you think muffins are real food. I know. You're like, muffins, man, real food. I'm talking like square meals. I noticed that, too.

Well, I meantus a Milky Way bar That's real food I just want to be Yeah There is not a lot of Difference in nutrition From a Milky Way bar To a muffin

You're telling me There's no difference In substance though Between a candy bar And a muffin I think a baked good Is often as bad As a candy bar

But you understand When I'm trying to Differentiate this from a vending machine. There's some more preparation. There's probably the shelf life on the muffin is less than that. It feels better to eat bread than whatever chemical makes up a milky way. I'm saying you walk up. You don't think there's any chemicals in that muffin?

Oh, for sure there is. For sure. But there was a cake tray with muffins in it. So I was like, oh, there's real stuff in there. Wait a minute. You're talking in a muffin tray? Like fresh baked? No, like a glass raised platform with a little lid on it.

And no plastic over the muffin? I'm trying to remember. Was it in its own plastic? It was in the cake tray. I got into it pretty quick. I'm trying to remember. Was it in its own plastic? It's in the cake tray. It's in the cake tray. I got into it pretty quick. I'm trying to remember. He might have ate the plastic. Oh, did I eat that plastic?

I don't know. Did you make it back to the room before you went back for seconds? Yeah, I went up there and I sat and I thought about it for a few minutes. And I go, I don't want to catch him before he leaves. His shift ends, right? It's like 2 a.m. And I'm like. I've been trying to write about that.

And you got a Holiday Inn hat on by the way, which is amazing. That's really cool. I love it. But they just don't staff a hotel. I mean, the whole point of this thing. There's a lot of people there and they put one 19 year old in charge. They built, it probably cost him $6 million to build this hotel.

There's 300 people staying in there. And there's one 19 year old who's running the whole deal. And it's what you tell me is the point that I've been trying to make is like that kid's 19. If he gets a call from his friend and says, hey, man, I met these two girls and they have some beers, he'll quit right there in the middle of that shift. He should. The shift's over. Now nobody's there.

And I have, if you walk in off the road and you just walk in and there's nobody at the front desk, it's very upsetting. You ring the bell. Yeah, yeah. You ring the bell. There's still nobody there. It's like, well, somebody, there's a at the front desk. It's very upsetting. You ring the bell. Yeah, yeah. You ring the bell. There's still nobody there. It's like, well, there's a horrible thing happened. Rental car companies are like that. There's one guy manning eight different companies.

Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm running Enterprise, Alamo, and National. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you go to the counter and you're like, oh, no, I can help you here. I go, I'm with Enterprise. Yeah, I got that too. We all work together. It's all over here, buddy yeah you're being lied to it's all one company

yeah i'm flying southwest that's me too yeah yeah can i check my bag with you too yeah i do it all yeah yeah all right we do it yeah i thought that last part was real good yeah people really like the ad rates because they're fun. When I'm listening to a podcast and they start an ad, I just go, skip, skip. But with this one, you never know what we're going to do. You go, skip, skip, and we're still doing it.

Skip, skip. I want to say, I'm a guest and I got no dog in the fight. It's not my place to tell you guys how to run your thing, but you can't say in the middle of an ad read that you can't swim and then expect everybody to just forget about the rest of the ad. I mean, that's,

I mean, that's, well, I didn't read, write that copy, but especially when we have an ongoing thing about how good of a swimmer I am. Yeah.

It's just, I mean, I'm just, everybody's trying to hear better help in the thing. Bates can't swim. Well, no, they actually watch and listen to the podcast. So they know help in the thing Bates can't swim well no they actually watch

and listen to the podcast so they know it okay but I can't maybe you could do some research before you come on next time fair enough

fair enough that was directed at Dusty who's one of the hosts yeah I probably need to watch more full episodes I do I see the clips

yeah I enjoy them clips are great yeah they're really well put together yeah yeah clips are really where it's at for a podcast that's right I see the clips. Yeah. I enjoy them. Clips are great. Yeah. Yeah. They're really well put together. Yeah. Yeah.

Clips are really where it's at for a podcast. That's right. I don't think you're supposed to say that on the podcast. Again, I'm not the one that's trying to tell you guys how to do things. Yeah. I don't think you're supposed to say that. Yeah. Should we get into these comments? Yeah.

Is there anything you wanted to say about swimming? Well, I just, you know, I'm, you know, I'm a good swimmer. We've covered that. And we've talked a lot about it. They've ridiculed me. And yet, Brian kept quiet the whole time about how he couldn't swim. I think that's pretty impressive that you held that in. You know what?

Me too. For the record, though, since Bates had always said he would be able to blend in well with the soccer team, I can play soccer. I just want you guys to know that. Yeah, I think you can play soccer. We ridiculed him because he thinks he could blend in with professional swimmers. Yeah, and they always go right to Michael Phelps. I'm not saying I can beat Michael Phelps. But how many, who's watching professional swimming?

I think I could get out there and you go, oh, that guy, yeah, he doesn't seem as in shape as the other guys. But yeah, I believe he's in shape. So your argument for why you could blend in is that nobody's watching? Well, yeah, yeah, I could blend in. Well, that was the argument from the beginning was what professional sport do you think you could blend in best with? Assuming someone's looking at them, though. You can't go, nobody watches it anyway. You're adding the assuming thing.

I mean, are you swimming? Yeah. That's the blending is occurring while you're swimming. Yeah, and Brian would be a professional soccer player. Here's the thing, Greg. You seem like a little bit more reasonable, rational person than Dusty. Okay.

If you're going to blend in in a sporting event, you need to be on a team. Yeah. And your team, I said, your teammates can be in on it. Yeah. Where they don't even involve you in the action. I would get out there,

stand in the middle, just run around. So if the teammates were in on it. Yeah. Yeah. They would be like. But we've seen you run now. We've still not seen you swim.

I'm not running. I'm going to just jog around a little bit and walk. I think you could. Yeah, if you're just jogging, they could be like, if they were in on it, Bates is covered. They're double teaming Bates. There you go. So you got to have everybody in on it to get you.

Including the opposing team and the refs. Because I don't think you're getting double teamed out there. I'll just say that. Well, that's true. But even a team sport, it's got to be a team sport, I think. Sure. I don't think so. But even in, well, it's all on you now to trick them.

Where even a team sport like baseball, there's only so much you can control. You can't stop the other team from hitting it. I think you would blend in better in baseball than soccer. I don't think I'm really going to blend in anywhere, but I need to be somewhere where... I think the soccer... I got to say, the soccer's not a bad one. Yeah, there you go. I can buy it.

I've actually already done it. You guys just didn't know it. Because no one was watching. Well, just Americans don't know soccer well enough to know. You know what I mean? You think they know swimming? Well, I think the thing about swimming is it's so objective. Give me if I'm wrong. It's all a race.

Yeah, it's a race. But I'm a good swimmer, though. I think that I could hold up pretty well. Now I need to practice a little bit. There's going to be distance between you and these guys. I think you're not even on the screen when the people finish which is what i mean i think they don't even know yeah yeah i'd like to see it we'll make it yeah we land olympics stephen rogers is like a real swimmer is he yeah he can swim he like swam competitively me too but not you know not for

a league but i had to race my i had to keep up with the other kids when I was going out. I was competitive. Yeah, he was doing backstreet non-sanctions. Street ball. Everybody was older than me. I had to keep up with them. Street swimming. Yeah, I bet you 500 bucks you can't beat Dusty.

Other kids are trying to drown me and stuff like that. Well, you can certainly beat me. I can tell you that. Yeah, who's going to read them? I think somebody else. Why don't you go? All right. Yeah, do it.

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and nateland at natebargatsey.com. Or text 615. Sorry. Just kidding. No. People always ask. I was buying that. People always ask. What email? It's nateland at natebargatsey.com. No. People always ask. I was buying that. People always ask, what email?

It's nateland at natebargatzee.com. Okay. Marquise Alston. Hey, Bear. Anytime you need to fill in, please invite Greg Warren to sit in on the podcast. He's a perfect fit with all of you, even bird beak baits. All right. He really yelled, hey, Bear, too.

Hey, Bear. All caps. Yeah. All caps. Thanks All caps Thanks Marquise Is it Marquise or Marquez I call him Mark Marquez maybe A little bit of French in there

If you're going French I think it would be The E and the S would be silent Marque There would be an accent on there Accent again The E and the S would be silent. Marquee. No, there'd be an accent on there. Oh, you're probably right. Accent again. Dana Langley.

In the late 80s, early 90s, I would go to Oakland A's games. They produced a fan guide which would list the hotels that the players would stay in for both the A's and visiting teams. That's crazy. I once rang through to Jose Canseco's room. That's at the request of the team, probably. That's how the women find out. Yeah. As a 13-year-old fangirl, all I could do was giggle and wish him good luck.

I once called Roger Clemens' room and wished him good luck. Thanks for reminding me of the good old days. Keep up the great work. That is crazy. Last week, we talked about heroes, people on our wall and stuff like that. Yeah. That's why they're sharing it. I'm trying to think if I were 13 years old and they gave me a phone number that went to Chipper Jones.

Yeah. I would call it. And then I would have nothing to say. I'll just go, you're awesome, dude. And he would go, all right.

And that would have been great though. You would have talked to your friends. I would still be talking about it to this day. I talked to Chipper Jones once on the phone. I met him once. Did you really? I don't know if I said that in this podcast. No, did you really?

Yeah. Where? Go Bananas, Cincinnati, Ohio. Really? Braves were in town. I was just maybe a little bit above an open mic-er. Yeah. And this is how dumb I was, man.

I was younger. I think I was late 20s, early 30s or something. And, and Chipper Jones, they were in town, the Braves were playing the Reds and I guess they had a night off

or something. So it was like a show and I think I was on it or something and there's this woman in there and I said to the owner, I'm like, dude, did you see that,

that girl? Damn. Like, I must have indicated that I thought I could talk to her. I had a shot or something. He just goes, you're the dumbest person. That's Chipper Jones' wife. Wow.

Seems fair. Yeah, he was at the show. So that's how you met him? Yeah. Now I'm not saying maybe I didn't meet him, but I saw him. You saw his wife. I saw his wife. He wasn't even there. I thought I had a shot with him? Yeah. And now I'm not, I think maybe I didn't meet him, but I saw him. You saw his wife. I saw his wife. He wasn't even there.

I thought I had a shot with his wife. That's what I'm saying. Saw his wife from a distance. I don't even know if I thought I had a shot. I was going to take a shot. Yeah.

And then I saw him. I did see him. Wow. I mean, and Go Bananas is not a big place. So we were close to meeting. Yeah.

Like he would pass in the hallway or whatever. Wow. It's closer than I've been. Yeah? Yeah. Someone pointed out that last week I listed the guys I had on my wall, and they said typical Bakes faction.

All three of these guys should have went to the Hall of Fame, but didn't for different reasons. I had Del Murphy, Pete Rose, and Dwight Gooden. Yeah. And, I mean, Del Murphy, people just say should be in the hall. Should be in the hall of fame. Yeah. Power hitter before there were big time power hitters.

He did play a lot of his games in Fulton County stadium, which was kind of the Homer place back before there were every place had like the Rocky stadium. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it certainly wasn't like the Rocky stadium, but like of its time,

it was the Rocky stadium. That's what I was saying. I wasn't trying to Rocky Stadium, but of its time, it was the Rocky Stadium. That's what I was thinking. I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I was just saying. They just moved it over to Colorado. In fairness to Dale, it was harder to hit home. I do like, though, in that story, how you talked about how dumb you were, and then the age you listed is Aaron's age. You were like late 20s, early 30s.

That was real stupid. Yeah, I was. His brain wasn't even developed. I was, but he's infinitely 30s. That was really stupid. His brain wasn't even developed. But he's infinitely more mature than I was, intelligent, and a way better comic than I was at that age. Well, I'll agree with that. I mean, I remember my late 20s and early 30s. And I've always thought- There's a lot of it you don't remember, too.

And I've always thought that about Aaron. I'm like, wow, it's really impressive. Yes. Yeah. What about you, Brian? I don't remember it. It was really impressive. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Brian? I don't remember it. It was a long time ago. Yeah.

Yeah. I had Chipper Jones poster on the wall. No. So Dwight Gooden. Yeah. That's before your time. But I mean, he was first two years of league. They're like, this guy's going to be the greatest pitcher of all time.

Yeah. Nobody was. Won like 25 games or something, didn't he? He went 24 and four. It's like second year of the league. Wow. Nobody will ever win 24 games again. Yeah.

That's crazy. And then, you know, gotten some drugs and stuff. Yeah. You ever hear that story about – Well, I know you don't relate to sports, so I thought maybe the drugs. Oh, yeah. Get on board. I don't get them in.

Yeah. There's a story about Daryl Strawberry. Got to do drugs. Yeah, he's like, I want to start having a good time. This baseball thing's not for me. Darryl Strawberry was his teammate. Yeah. Oh, man.

And he's a pretty phenomenal guy now. He had some drug problems. He's a great player. He's like a preacher now. And yeah, you hear him talking. Really neat guy. But back then, he's having some drug problems. So they call in Daryl, who's a teammate of Dwight Gooden, and they go, hey, listen, Daryl, there's a lot of reports from a lot of media going around that there's a young African-American player for the Mets that's doing a lot of drugs in New York City.

And Strawberry goes, yeah, it's Dwight. He goes, I was worried about it too. That's awesome. Yeah, I've read that. There's a book called The Year the Bad Guys Won. It's about the 86 Mets. It's a pretty good book. I think there's a 30 for 30 about them.

Is it? Yeah. Yeah. The only person they said was a really solid human being, basically, was Mookie Wilson. He's a really nice guy. Gary Carter was a nice guy, but they said he sucked up to everybody. Yeah. And his teammates said that.

I don't know how much this is true, but yeah. That was my team back there, that whole season. Really? Yeah. You liked the 86 Mets? I did. Dwight Gooden was one of my favorite players. Yeah, he was great, man.

He was 19 when he came to the league. Identify with that guy. Yeah. Same kind of person. do you think today's july 1st i think july is the most boring month of the year for sports oh yeah because it's so good for everything else it's just a good day just a good month to live life i like baseball and it's the all-star game and it's i love baseball you like baseball i do i mean i'll do yeah but but there are times of the year where there's like three or four exciting sports going on.

And this is kind of all we have now is baseball in July. Right, because I think it is designed for you to like, you know, you're like, hey, it's July. Let's get out and do some grounding. You know? Take your shirt off. Yeah, take your shirt off. Twist it around your head, spin it like a helicopter. You know what I mean?

At least this year we have the Olympics. That's August, though, isn't it? I think it starts late July. Oh, does it? I think so. I'm fired up about that. Are you, really? Yeah.

You've been waiting all year for the Olympics? All four years. I like the wrestling. Oh, okay. Yeah, I get it. I follow every one of those guys. Okay. Since they were in college.

All right. Michael Birdwell. Growing up in Indiana, I was a huge Larry Bird fan. What? I just... I mean, I believe that you're telling the truth when you say that, but it sounds like a joke. I've never been more serious about anything.

I know. I've never been more serious about anything. I know. I love Olympic wrestling. Just the way you said it, it's like, that sounds like a joke, but I think it's true. I got nothing coming, punchline-wise. Yeah. I'm just saying. Yeah.

I love them. Who's the big American wrestler this year? We got a few. I mean, I'd say Kyle Dake is the the uh probably the you guys are all familiar with kyle yeah i'd say kyle's probably the biggest favorite because they uh they're making some of the russians sit they're not letting a few of the russians in because of their stance on ukraine really not all the russians but some out russians who have been outspoken or said some things so and the russians are really really good kind of a weird take though you're like hey you're at

war with another country and uh we're not going to let you wrestle because you're favoring your own country yeah yeah you know what i mean though it's like isn't that yeah that just seems weird i mean i'm not even taking a side but you know i know what you're saying what do you want these guys to do be like oh no we're we don't stand with our own country but we'd like to represent them in the olympics yeah i mean i I empathize with Ukraine quite a bit, but yeah, I kind of see what you're saying too. I don't know how they keep them out, but there's like four Russians

that are really, really good. Seems like they're using it to get some gold for America. Sidokov is going to have to sit, guys. Sidokov? Really? Yeah, Sidokov's going to have to sit. It's not even worth watching. Rulon Gardner. He's a little older, man. He's been out of it for a while.

I'm impressed you know that name. Yeah. He's the guy who upset the Russian, right? Yeah. Ken Shamrock. That's more UFC. Goldberg? No.

Kurt Angle won an Olympic gold medal. He did. He wrestled while I was wrestling in college. Yeah. You beat him, right? No. No, I did not. He did. He did wrestle while I was wrestling in college. Yeah. You beat him, right? No. No, I did not. He's a heavyweight, Brian.

And I would not have beaten him. I mean, he was much better than I was. Yeah. I lost to his teammate, as a matter of fact. Michael Birdwell. Growing up in Indiana.

Brian Asosoles. Right? Is that something? Like a triangle? Kurt Angle? Like you got an angle and an asosoles. Boom. I'm right there with you, man.

Took me a minute too. But once it came, I was like, I know the moment's passed, but I still would like to go. I'm glad you went back and got it. Maybe they could edit that little space out of time and make it seem like I was really quick-witted with it. Yeah, that's going to change a lot. This is a great joke. I think I was on that isosceles like nothing. I don't even think he had to think about it. It's like almost like he was sitting on it the whole podcast.

His time is impeccable. Whereas if they leave it as it is, it'd be like, dude was seven seconds late. Why did he go and talk about it? He had to Google geometry terms just to get that punchline in. Isosceles is the one where they're all the same size. I don't really know. I just tried to come up with something. That's a square.

That's an equilateral triangle. I believe it's which is. Sosley's, yeah, it's like a different shaped triangle. One's real long and another one's real small. Man, I think you are wrong. Am I? I have no idea. Yeah.

I have no idea. Sosley's, of course, the renowned Greek philosopher. Michael Birdwell. Growing up in Indiana, I was a huge Larry Bird fan. My friend worked for a pest control company and Larry's house was on his route. Route? Route? Yeah, you're good either way.

He gave me a clipboard and let me follow him around while he serviced the home. Once he finished, he had Larry sign the bill and then later gave it to me so I could have his autograph. Would you have pretended to work pest control to meet your childhood hero, or is that too far on the stalker spectrum? I kind of did it without even- You did work pest control, right? I sold pesticides, but it's funny that he used Spectrum. Spectrum Brands was the pesticide company that i worked for based oh yeah based out of st louis oh they're out of st louis united industries

and you were calling on uh home depots those type places right doing some sort of unscrupulous stuff from the last time i was here yeah yeah yeah stuff i didn't care for yeah yeah i mean now we know each other we're friends but back then if i were doing your job, I would have been smashing Peter Pan cans in the back. Yeah, and I want to say this. And, man, I'm grateful for a lot of stuff that Nate's done for me. Yeah. I am. But, I mean, I did that tour on day three in the green room.

There's Skippy. It's just – Just the best with you? I don't know. I'm thinking maybe he's like let's see his first time out on the tour maybe let's see shake him up see if he can still and i'm not saying i probably didn't have the best set that night i was angry but yeah sorry it's okay but yeah of course i mean i don't i, just to answer this guy's question. Yeah. I don't have childhood heroes, but if I did, I would fake being a pest control guy to meet them. Kid Rock or Hank Williams Jr.

You didn't have anybody growing up? No, I like them, but I don't. Heroes too strong of a word. Yeah. Yeah. Well, who cares what you call it? You know what we're talking about. Well, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. I'm trying to relate. I'm trying to be relatable to people with heroes. Yeah. Yeah, I would have done that. Yeah. Yeah, last week was a good week for you not to be here. Yeah. Somebody told me you said that.

Yeah, yeah. You don't like a hero? No. Okay. Well, idols probably. Idolization, right? Yeah, any of that, really. They're just people. that really there's just people

yeah you don't like looking up to people and there's people that I'm like I enjoy I like the work that they've done you don't look up to people at all I don't think so I appreciate what people have done

but you know wow I think I look up to some people I missed the episode so I don't know who some of your heroes are I look up to Mike James and he's a tall guy

yeah yeah he is tall Lachlan Patterson Mike's good Nick Foon I don't know who some of your heroes are. I look up to Mike James. He's a tall guy. Yeah. Lachlan Patterson. Mike's good. Nick Thune. Yeah. Good guy to roll craps with. Mike.

I don't know what that means. We did Casino Night. We'll get there. We'll get there. We'll get there. I'll keep moving. Yeah, Michael, I would. And his name's Bird Well, and he really likes Larry Bird. Yeah.

Likes him well. Yeah. You think if it went poorly, he would have changed his last name? Maybe. Larry Bird sucks. No, wait. That'd be Michael. Okay.

Justin Maggard. I am a category manager for a grocery retailer. My job is to meet with people like Greg and Dusty decide what items we carry what price we sell them for and where in the

planogram we merchandise their items hearing old war stories about life and retail is great medicine while I work where is this guy working he said grocery

yeah man I'd like to know which chain I bet Aldi you think Aldi well I will say Dutch company maybe I was out of the loop, but the store manager usually wasn't meeting with me to decide what we would carry. I would be like, hey, let's meet. And then I would track them down and go, you need to order some more of this. Oh yeah,

man. And they are not easy to track down. Yeah. They're not trying, they're not, they don't include me on the planogram decisions at all. Well, now the planogram is, it's, that's the thing. It's all corporate. Decentralized. There's guys like you can't, you're not worth much anymore because you can't walk into that store with all your charm and bad tactics that you're using for it. You still can't move. I don't know if I told you I would do this. This is one of my favorites. Go in, like there's three wasp and hornet killers for me three facings for me and three facings for the competition i would i would move the label knock them down to one or two facings and then i would do five facings for myself they should have thrown you out of that

store man that is it's it's you guys are laughing but that is not cool they don't know and then you pack the shelf so full that in order for them to change the facings it's a lot of work You guys are laughing, but that is not cool. They don't know. Dark bag tactics. It is. And then you pack the shelf so full that in order for them to change the facings, it's a lot of work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they won't. They won't. That's right up there with switching tags and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, this, I don't like it.

You're a scum. I was a different guy back then. Yeah, you were. But this guy, and I do like what you said about trying to track down that store manager. That is not an easy thing to do. Oh, yeah. I would walk in the store and see managers dart away. Yeah, yeah. And then you got to go up to the front where they have the customer service.

Yeah. And I started in Texas and they'd be, Dale, there's a sales rep here to see you. in Texas and they're, they'd be, Dale, there's a sales rep here to see you. And then, and he'll be like,

what do you got? What do you got? Yeah. What do you got? He's like, I'm real busy right now. What do you got? I got a lot going on.

They never said, they never like, you know what, man, I got, I got a little free time. What do you got? Come on to the back,

let's sit down, maybe have a cup of coffee. They're always busy. A couple of cigars. Real busy right now. Real busy. What do you got? My buddy, Sean, that you met, that's a big fan of yours, a big fan of podcasts.

He loves the podcast. He clarified. No, wait. I mean podcast. He is. He likes all you guys, but he really likes Aaron, and he got to meet Aaron. He's a comic. He's a good comic.

My buddy, Sean O'Brien, he has mentioned to me uh i was gonna do a show with him he canceled he did yeah but that wasn't it was he he had to or his girlfriend was gonna leave him um it was she didn't want him working with brian no because you said it was gonna be aaron yeah yeah no he was supposed to he he made plans with her on something and then he forgot about it was a wedding yeah um anyways uh he has mentioned that aaron's real good at reading ads yeah not real good words the best words getting out yeah uh morgan smith my wife and i saw preacher lawson at At Comedy Off Broadway He did a lot of crowd work Near the end of the show

Someone shouted And stole his punchline Out from under him Felt like he was about To close on the joke But then had to add Another bit at the end For a better close

How do you deal With a difficult crowd And what is the worst thing That has happened to you With crowd work You want to take this one Brian Well I should Well we all know

How Bates crowd works Yeah Bates is a master at it. Have you heard this, Dusty? No. I mean, there's many, but I think the one you're interested in. Oh, have I heard that he's a master at crowd work? Oh, yeah.

You know how he works the crowd? Of course. How does he do it, Greg? Of course. I think I was at the comedy catch in Chattanooga one time, and there was a guy wearing an Auburn shirt up front, and I was like, did you go to Auburn? He was like, nah.

I'm like, yeah, me either. And then I just kept going or something like that. That's right. He doesn't hit them. He doesn't hit them at all. He just leaves them hanging. He just asks them a question. They answer it.

Moves right to the next guy. That's really the best kind of crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You work them. But there's no need to insult them. You just work them. You go to that college? No, me either.

Good on you for supporting them, though. No jokes. Yeah. Don't tie them in at all. Just some facts. Yeah. Some basic facts. Yeah.

Just so you know about me, I didn't go there either. Yeah, yeah. What do you do? I'm a lawyer. Outstanding. Yeah. Good for you. Outstanding.

You want to talk about dealing with difficult crowds? Well. You were looking for your ad read. Nowadays, thankfully, my crowds are not that difficult i am getting an audience and it's very nice you want to talk about difficult crowds but i will say though uh i have dealt with difficult crowds and you just gotta i feel like you gotta learn to roll with it i think for me personally i like to go i like to go like if it's a corporate gig or something like that, where I know it's not going to be good. I just go ahead in my mind. I go, this is not

going to be good. Just be ready for this to not be good. And then you go out and you're able to just roll with it. And I can only be pleasantly surprised at that point. I did a corporate gig in new Orleans. They were so drunk. The audience was so wasted. I take the stage and they're like, tell a joke. And then I just, I kind of start crowdworking them, just messing around with them. And then I, after about 10 minutes, I look at the guy who's paying me and I'm like, I was like, this is not what I do. And I was like, I can just do my act or I can just do whatever this is. And they were like, do whatever this is. And the guy was like, yeah, that's, he just kind of looked at me like, yeah, this is fine. And I did that for like an hour and they loved it.

Yeah. Yeah. And they loved it. Everybody was happy. Yeah. And that's all people want. Yep. To be happy.

Yeah. There's a lot there, man. Yeah. One, you just, I mean, one thing is I have noticed, like, I don't know, at some point I was like, man, I haven't had hecklers in a long time. Like, yeah, man. One thing is I have noticed, at some point I was like, man, I haven't had hecklers in a long time. I'm like, yeah, dummy, you're better. What you're saying is somewhat interesting and funny now. When you weren't that good, there were more hecklers. And man, I'm with you on those. Because corporate, you think corporate, oh, this is going to be very clean, very crisp material, very attentive. And then you walk in there sometimes and you're like, this is a bar gig.

This is like when I was working and I did this one down in Phoenix and I got in there and it's just this conference room. And it was like Wolf of Wall Street, but the redneck version. They were all, I can't remember what they were selling they were just so drunk and going crazy and they were giving like like speeches about how you got to throw your money in the company and at one point the guy just goes and then uh greg warren you know and i went up there and there's like two guys in front of me that are just openly talking oh yeah to each other like and i'm like and it was well i just i remember put the put the phone on the table look set the timer oh yeah 60 minutes i made a bunch of money and i'm gonna get to 60 minutes and i and then they loved it because i did what you did i was like now in my

mind i was like that was a horrible comedy. Like that is not something that was not, I'm not proud of anything that went on in there. Yeah. But, but you're surviving and you got it. Like whatever, like sometimes you're up there though, and nothing that you do works.

I go, I go, my new, my best new joke doesn't work. My best old joke doesn't work. My, my a hundred percent joke doesn't work. I go, it's no longer a hundred percent.

Yeah. I go, I go, Hey, you know, these are good jokes. And, A hundred percent joke doesn't work. It's no longer a hundred percent joke. Yeah. I go, hey, you know, these are good jokes and, you know, those kinds of things. I got every, every trick that I have, I pull out and they're like, I got one, two guys laughing. I go, all right, these are my guys. The rest of this room doesn't even like comedy. Yeah. Man, I had one this year, and it wasn't their fault.

I still know. I mean, the room was tricky. It was a big, big room. But I was like, I had their attention, and they did not care for it. They weren't rude or anything. It's even worse. Yeah, I know. I know, Bates.

That's what I'm saying. Were you doing malarkey? Were you bringing the malarkey up? No, man. This was no malarkey. This is doing uh malarkey were you bringing the malarkey no man this was this was no no malarkey this is the no malarkey uh tom foolery i didn't i mean i did i did my act and i might have talked about this last time you were here too but just a difficult crowd not a corporate gig i did the st louis uh funny bone and this was in 2020 yeah uh like

covet like that they had just announced that the city was about to go under lockdown again And this was in 2020 with COVID. They had just announced that the city was about to go under lockdown again on Tuesday. And I'm there on Saturday. And the host or whatever said, give it up for the waitress. There's like a legendary waitress. Yeah. They were like, give it up for Patty. And she got a huge cheer.

And then they brought me up and I got less of a cheer. i go oh i got less of a cheer than patty and they go she's a legend and then it felt like the whole show started wrong you can't follow patty they were like they don't even like me because i made a little patty job this guy's trying to upstage in her house it is her who does this guy think he is? I haven't even heard of this guy. Well, I mean, I heard they loved you there. Okay. I had a good time. Because they were trying to get you back. I know you were pretty much on the theaters at that point.

Well, you know, you were battling some health issues. Oh, yeah. That whole weekend, I was beginning to rupture my appendix. And didn't even know. On that weekend. I was just having severe stomach pain. A bomb was going off in his abdomen. Yeah.

He's doing shows. Yeah. My God. Yeah. So, but it was, I had a lot of fun, but that one particular show where I made the Patty joke started way wrong. Patty's been at that club for a long time. And I liked Patty. I wasn't even.

She's awesome. I wasn't even trashing Patty. I was like, she got a bigger cheer than me. And they're like. You're trying to be self-deprecating. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, of course she did, buddy. She's awesome. I wasn't even trashing Patty. I was like, she got a bigger cheer than me. And they're like, she's out. You're trying to be self-deprecating. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, of course she did, buddy. Do your jokes.

Yeah. She's funny, man. She's funny. But she, I don't think Patty is sometimes aware that there's comedians on stage. Patty is just kind of like, yeah. She'll talk about, yeah. yeah but man they were drinkers they were big drinkers i rang this and this are you saying patty p-a-d-d-y no t-t-p-a-t-t-i there's no e i think yeah okay patty it's not like you were saying it well patty dugan born on st patrick's

day yeah patty it's pedraig that's the that's the male d-d-y i mean i think it's padraig. That's the male. DD1. I mean, I think it's Patrick, right? I mean, Padraig. I don't know. Yeah. I was going to tell you if you're saying Patricia. It could be Patricia.

Patrick. With a D, like St. Patty. Yeah. No, Patty. She was born on St. Patty's Day. I didn't know there was a difference. Yeah, she was. Yeah.

I hosted for Rob Schneider one time, and I go, give it up for Rob Schneider and then he comes up and we go we go we go past each other he goes Schneider it's Schneider and I go in the green room and I start telling the guys I go I don't know what he's saying he said his last thing I guess yeah that's what I said where was that Zanies and they go Schneider you got to say the C-H. I go, oh. It's a schwasher. Yeah, I wasn't even aware that I was not doing that.

That's funny. Schneider. We're passing on. It's like my second hosting gig ever. He goes, it's Schneider. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Nailed it, didn't I?

I'm like, yeah, I'm a fan. I'm well aware of who you are. I know you nailed it didn't I I'm like yeah I'm a fan I'm well aware of who you are I know you I just introduced you this guy's lost it yeah

he did all those movies with Adam Chandler let me skip ahead on some of these comments yeah Sendler's List Nate Pitts Let me skip ahead on some of these comments. Sendler's list. Nate Pitts.

Ugh. Who is everyone's most underrated comedian? Or what comedian do you know has not received the attention his work deserves? Mine has to be Tim Hawkins. He's pretty popular amongst Christians, but I feel not everyone knows who he is and he's been at it for a while. I know Tim went to school at the same college. I did play baseball for Missouri. Really?

Yeah. And I didn't know him well, but we were in school at the same time. Has some, yeah, nice guy. Well, Aaron and I know him from the John Chris roast, but have you ever met him?

No, I didn't get invited to that. But Tim is really great great and it's like i guess it just depends on what you mean by underrated because he's huge christian comics for 20 years he can go to any city in america and sell 5 000 tickets yeah it's tough to say that yeah that's not underrated he's not getting mainstream attention necessarily but it's like they're uh yeah i mean i get more i got more mainstream attention than Tim Hawkins, but I sell less tickets. Sure.

Yeah, sure. I'm not far behind, but – Yeah, you're doing good. Yeah. Well, what are you – I like to say good. Good. Doing good.

No man is good. Yeah. Yeah, there's – Fair point. Andy Hendrickson has a pretty good joke about him. No man is good. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, uh, the, uh, Andy Hendrickson has a pretty good joke about him. He used to be a, uh, roommates with,

uh, Tim Hawkins with, uh, Keith Alberstadt. And, uh, and he said, how you doing?

Uh, I was said something like, how you doing? And he goes, I'm doing good. He goes, you're not doing good. You're doing well.

He goes, if you're, if you're doing good, that means you were, you were out like doing charitable work. He goes, you're not doing good. You're doing well. He goes, if you're doing good, that means you were out like doing charitable work or something like that. He goes, so how are you doing? And Andy goes, I'm angry. That's good. That's a great joke.

That's good. Andy Hendricks, underrated comedian. Yeah. Very funny. Great Letterman set. Very funny. You Letterman set. Very funny. You guys have one? Well, I would say this guy just passed, but I would say James Gregory was an underrated comedian to me.

I thought James Gregory was very good and not much success outside of the South and Midwest. But giant success within the South. Like so massive amounts of tickets. But I don't know. I'm just reaching here. Funniest man in America, right? Yeah. I just think James Gregory was great.

And I talk to people and so many people don't even know who James Gregory is. People have never heard of him. Yeah. And I just thought he was a really great comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is Lavelle Crawford. Yeah, man.

From my hometown. I think Lavelle should be in the discussion as an all-time great. Yeah. And he never is for whatever reason. I mean, people know he's funny. People know he kills. But he's not talked about in the same way that a few other comics are who I think he's much funnier than. And has a better body of work and writes smarter stuff.

Interesting that you use better body. Better help. Because he was a big guy. I don't think he's still alive. No, he's still alive. He's still pretty big. No, but he's not big anymore. He's gained some of it back. He is very funny, though.

I'm just making a joke. He's from my hometown. Very funny. We did open mics together. I don't know if he's gained it, but he never got, he wasn't like rail thin. He just.

No, but he was, he looked, he lost quite a bit of weight. He looks all right. Yeah. Very funny. Very funny. funny i mean i saw him probably when he first first few times he ever did it he was funny then yeah yeah that's uh that's fun to think about greg and lavelle crawford at open mic together somewhere in st louis yeah lavelle yeah he he was great uh you know our buddy uh the guy that you know too

brendan air i think is an underrated comic i think he's brandon air is very funny real funny guy yeah you guys would you guys would real workhorse i'm sure i know some too i'm trying to run through it but i just can't think of them but yeah who's this guy brand i don't know him you'd like him did a loony bin weekend with him it was one of of those, like, we worked, man. Yeah. Yeah. And he really works hard and is very funny. Brendan Ayer from Cleveland. From Cleveland. Now lives in Portland, Maine.

Yeah. Good act, man. You guys would like him. What about you? I mean, I think Joe List is super funny. And, I mean, it's not like no one knows who he is, but he's not. All these guys you're saying are doing real well. They're all doing way better than me.

Why are you directing this at me? But Joe List isn't a household name. And I think he. He should be. Yeah. I just think he's super funny. I mean, for that matter, Brian Regan, who's been selling out for years, the majority of America doesn't know who that is.

I feel like. You just can't bring him into this discussion because he's doing really well. It just depends on who you're talking about, right? Like it's like. Underrated to who? My mom doesn't know who Burt Kreischer is, you know? So it's just depending on who you're talking to.

Like a lot of people I know don't know Sebastian Maniscalco. So it's like, that's the, I think the great thing about comedy is you can be very famous in the comedy world and still relatively unknown. Yeah. My dad came to Nate's show. I mean, he knew that I, you know, that Nate had done a lot for me and everything, but

he, you know, he watched his special and then he came to the live show and loved it, but he wasn't too aware of Nate before I told him about Nate. And I'm like, dad, he's the biggest comic in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. live show and loved it but he wasn't too aware of nate before i told him yeah about nate and i'm like dad he's the biggest comic in the world yeah yeah yeah he met my dad he just asked the craziest things like i think after the show he said some of that first guy is he pretty big deal and i go it's stephen rogers he's i go of the five of us there's's Nate and then there's the four of us. It's a big deal. Four of us are not, but Steven's great.

Yeah. And then he's like you, he's, he's young. Like the same age, I think. Yeah. You guys are. I think, I think I said to him the other day, I was like, how old is this? I go, man, if you don't completely screw things up, you're going to have a great career. No pressure. This funny and this young, you better not.

Just don't make some really stupid mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do one more comment. You want to, Greg, pick out a name. Oh, I'd like to hear. I'd like to hear what Mandy McKnight has to say. All right.

Mandy McKnight, the way Greg listens to Aaron read an ad is the way every woman wants her man to pay attention to her. All right. Not very intent on when – Well, he's a salesman. Yeah. You got to respect the crowd. Exactly. I mean, there's business that's going on at this point.

We're paying bills here. That's right. You know? That's right. You know, and I want to, and also, again, people like Sean O'Brien are out there saying, if you want, you got to listen to this guy read ads. Yeah. You ever seen his act? No, no, no, no. But the ad reads.

Yeah. This guy's incredible. Pretty good comedian, but what he does is ad reads. Yeah. That's what he does. You should read some of those ads in the middle of your act. Yeah. You could be the first guy. Get some sponsors. Yeah. Just sell comedian, but what he does is ad reads. Yeah. That's what he does. You should read some of those ads in the middle of your act. Yeah. You could be the first guy.

Yeah. Just sell out, man. Just completely sell out. Why not? Why not? Before I get to this next joke, if you guys heard about BetterHelp. Yeah, yeah. It's coming.

Raise your hand if you bought these tickets online. Some of you need ExpressVPN. Yeah. some of you need express VPN. Well, one thing we didn't mention this past week is for those of us who opened for Nate on this last tour, that's wrapping up. Nate invited us to come to Indianapolis to do a little casino night to thank

the crew and everyone involved in it. So we did that one night last week. There's some of us gathered on stage. It's not the final photo, I don't think. But there's one of them. This is the whole crew. There's Steven, Nate's dad, a lot of the crew, the tour managers, Johnny W., Keith Alberstadt, Derek Stroop.

Wow, Johnny W. is tall,stadt, Derek Stroop. Wow, Johnny W is tall, huh? He is tall. I mean, I know Johnny W, but I thought Keith is a very tall guy. Yeah, Keith is tall. Mike James. Mike James. Yeah, Mike James. But it's like, I don't know.

I just know Mike James is tall. But it's like Johnny W is like Mike's height. Yeah. Look how tall Dustin Nickerson is there. Yeah. Look how tall Dustin Nickerson is there. Yeah. He's there, isn't he? Uh-huh. Yeah.

So it was super fun. Yeah, I had a fun casino night where no one lost money. It was set up in a way where we all could just have fun. We gave out prizes at the end for people who had the most chips, but no one lost money in the night. It was just fun, but yeah, competitive, would you say? It got crazy on the craps table. Nick Novicki

had the greatest craps role I've ever seen in my life. I don't know why you're laughing at me. It was huge. I remember, I was at the blackjack table, and you're having a good time, but then right over there, people are screaming like they're having the best time of their lives.

You came over? I want to be over there. What's happening over there? And it was Nick Novicki on the roll of his lifetime. I don't even understand what's happening, but he's doing all the right stuff. I tried to explain stuff to you during the game. You did a good job.

But craps is an emotional game. I mean, there's just this collective enthusiasm. We were all going crazy. And now Vicky's just hitting point after point. I mean, it was fake money, and we were going crazy. It was awesome. And then Stroop had a good role, too. Stroop had it.

Those are the two that really, I mean, people were making. And Nate got out early nate uh got out early went over to the roulette wheel hit like you know you bet black or red right yeah nate bets like 25 and hits it which is like a 40 to 1 payout or something yeah so nature starts he starts betting so specifically that his winnings just start compiling exponentially to a point where

he had more than all the other comics combined. Nate just started dominating his own casino. Do you think, for any of you guys, this might have really sparked some type of gambling addiction that you'll now carry over each time you think it was there yeah greg already had it was already there yeah like you win with

fake money right so you're like well what can i do with real i'm a little worried about some of those guys at that that crap table see what graphs can do because it's a it's a powerful game yeah and i saw a couple guys that had not played before that were wrapped up in it. Like, do you think we're going to see Nick Novicki's eventual collapse? That's as happy as I'll ever be right now. Novicki went nuts. Novicki was awesome. He's going to be chasing this dragon now. Yeah, yeah.

And we're going to see him go completely down. Okay, that's not a flattering picture. I – look at me counting my chips there. I got – Bates, yeah. Have you ever heard the song The Gambler? You don't count your chips. Well, I was going to ask Dusty if he had his top gambling country songs.

I figured he did, but The Gambler's got to be up there. Well, Gambler's got to be number one. I mean, there's – I don't know a lot of gambling country songs, but Gambler's got to be number one. All right, let me – and here's the thing i want to i want to preface this because my buddy joe who's a poker guy told me that i think norm mcdonald discussed this on the kimmel show so i don't want to i'm not stealing maybe i already discussed um the song uh coward of the county okay i maybe you did i just maybe i heard it so i don heard it and I don't do this in my act,

but I have made a point for a very long time. Somebody who is an avid gambler, the gambler starts out and Kenny Rogers tell you about how much he learned from the gambler. You learn nothing about gambling from the song of the gambler. Nothing. He didn't give up his secrets. Nothing. Now one specific thing, you got to know when to hold them. Okay. But when? When? Yeah. You got to know when to fold them. When? Right. Yeah. Yeah. And the only thing they say, and Bates violated, the only thing they say is you never count your money. While you're sitting at the table. Until the deal is done or when you're sitting at the table, you never count your money. Which I think is. table until the deal is done or when you're sitting at the table you never count your money

which I think is it's time enough for counting when the deal is done okay there you go I don't think there's any that's the one

piece of advice he gave and it's stupid advice you think you're playing poker one time and they'd be like I'm all in how much you got

I can't tell you Kenny said I'm not supposed to count my money you know I agree you know what I'm all in. How much you got? I can't tell you. Kenny said, I'm not supposed to count my money. I agree. You know what I'm saying? You've learned nothing. That is true. And this guy knows so much. He knows everything about gambling.

And this so-called gambler takes the last bit of his liquor, smokes his last cigarette, and then dies on the train. Right there. Yeah. Without having given any of his secrets. So this guy came away from this whole thing, which sounds like kind of an afternoon, really, like a long

period of time. And he walked away with not one shred of information about gambling. Yeah. Great song, though. It is a good song. And the Maverick, good gambling movie. Mel Gibson. That's a great gambling movie. And James Garner gambling movie. Oh, yeah. Mel Gibson. That's a great gambling movie. Maverick, yeah.

And James Garner. James Garner, yeah. Yeah, James. And then who's the- Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster. I think so. Either Jodie Foster or Helen Hunt.

I get them confused. It's Jodie Foster. Yeah. Man, that was kind of a riverboat gambling. Yeah. Clint Black was in it. He was? I met Clint Black.

Well, he's got a song in it. You met Clint Black? Yeah, at the Opry. We're friends now, kind of. Good. I don't have his number, and I'll probably never talk to him again, but we had a moment. It's better than me and Chipper Jones. Yeah.

In the middle of my Chipper Jones story, I had to figure out that I didn't meet Chipper Jones. You just got rejected by his wife. Yeah, I didn't even get rejected. Once I heard it was Chipper Jones' wife, I didn't. Waylon Jennings is in The Maverick. He gets kicked out for cheating and he's good yeah and from we are the world you left him that yeah that's a good story you know he was waylon jennings was they had compiled this big list of popular musicians of the day and waylon jennings was one

of those and they started singing we are the world and he's like oh no he's like i don't do stuff like this and then he just walked off have you seen the documentary i'd heard a little bit about it it's very well and jennings didn't even make it through the first day no well it was an all-night thing about halfway through he's like i'm out of here and you see him like walk out just leave oh that's great yeah um yeah Cliff Black had a popular song

from that movie that was a gambling song yeah um are there other gambling songs I don't know a lot of them Trudy

by Charlie Daniels oh Trudy oh Trudy ah Trudy's better than the gambler by Charlie Daniels Trudy

okay I'll check that out call up Trudy on the telephone the gambler by Charlie Daniels Trudy okay I'll check that out call up Trudy on the telephone I'm already people love when I sing on this podcast yeah I'm already in on this one

send her a letter in the mail man one shot Aaron where it was just you celebrating everyone else is just

straight face and it doesn't matter but there's a timetable of the excitement we're having there yeah

Justin only played roulette he knows his game matter but there's a timetable of the excitement we're having there yeah justin only played uh roulette he knows his game how'd he do he did all right but nate just walked over and just started dominating in a way he went on a tear that i've never seen before uh great gambling movie that is really rounders round is not just the best movie it's not the best gambling movie

it's the best movie it's the fantastic movie but everybody knows Rounders this one this guy 21 with Kevin Spacey great book

yeah I was going to mention that yeah great book great movie who's the guy that was in Elizabethtown I don't even know I've been to

Elizabethtown it's a movie. It's a movie star. Yeah. Sorry, man. You guys got, it's Robert Duvall.

Okay. Orlando bloom, Orlando bloom and Robert. I got to hit this bathroom real quick. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Look,

Orlando bloom, Robert Duvall. Yeah. Gambling. Okay. Robert Duvall. They. Robert Duvall. They were in a movie called oh jeez.

Golly, dude. This search engine stinks. Stinks, dude. Why do you use that? Because it's the built-in browser. It's the built-in search engine with the browser I use. Yeah. Lucky seven. browser with the it's the built-in search engine with the browser i use in the title yeah lucky seven look lucky you it's called lucky you it is isn't is this no oh yeah is that it

eric banna drew barrymore robert devolos i think that's it okay yeah lucky you if it's yeah it's a great movie 2007 i love that movie man that's a good movie yeah i've never even heard of it you know banna i from what i heard banners from australia and i think banna was a stand-up comic at one time really yeah broken as a stand-up comic that's crazy this movie lost 40 about 47 million dollars and i like it yeah yeah i like it but it's like do you you lost, do you think anyone lost their job if you make a movie that loses $47 million? Yeah. I don't know how this works.

Yeah, yeah. Do you think people do lose their job? I would imagine. Yeah. Bit of a gamble making a movie. It can be. It can be. Because we're back in hockey.

Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thought of that in there. Yeah. You're out of breath. I don't think he had to go to the bathroom. He needed to clear his head. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thought of that in there. Yeah. I don't think he had to go to the bathroom.

He needed to clear his head. Yeah. My next one is get back in the game, Dustin. Get back in the game. Yeah. Gambling movies are great, though. But you don't like gambling. No, no.

But I like gambling movies, though. I like Tombstone I just watched. I mean, not necessarily a gambling movie, but- like gambling movies, though. I like the – like Tombstone I just watched. I mean, not necessarily a gambling movie, but – There's some card playing. Yeah, a lot of gambling going on. Yeah, yeah. I was just – I don't know if you heard Lucky You. Check that out, man.

Okay, Lucky You. Yeah, it's Robert Duvall and Eric Bana. I love Robert Duvall. It's a good movie. Drew Barrymore, too. Drew Barrymore. I'm telling you, man. A little kicker.

Drew Barrymore. Lost a lot of money, but I don't know why. Yeah. Lost $47 million. Wow. What about Casino? Great movie. Yeah, good.

Although, yeah, some movies are like too graphically violent for me. Yes, me too, man. And I think that's kind of what that is. But I like it. Goodfellas and Casino are both very good movies, but a little too much for me. And both good movies. And it's like, everything's so fun and they're all doing great.

And then you can just see, we're like, oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man, you guys are making some poor decisions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, and then it gets real bad. And I'm like, I don't necessarily love that part of the movie. What I always hated about Goodfellas is that the whole crew is like, don't get involved with drugs. We're just trying to look out for you.

And then he does. He did. And then when he gets busted, he rats them all out. Yeah. He gets to go to witness protection. They all go to prison. And I hate that. I want them to just end it differently. Yeah. But that was a true story,

wasn't it? Yeah. Goodfellas, Henry Hill. I'd like them to end it differently though. Just give me an alternate ending. And then the same for the movie Blow with Johnny Depp. That movie, it ends so sad that I can't even enjoy it. I can't rewatch the movie. It's heartbreaking at the end. Especially now that I have kids, I think it would just- It would kill you. Yeah. I couldn't even enjoy. I can't rewatch the movie. It's heartbreaking at the end. Especially now that I have kids, I think it would just- It would kill you. Yeah. I can't. I couldn't do it.

Yeah. And he's- I can't even remember it. And the thing is, you're rooting for a drug dealer the whole time. I know. You're just like, oh, this was just the last bust. This is the last deal. Oh, you want more time.

And he was about to go straight, man. And they sold him down there. It was a Pee Wee Herman that sold them? Yeah, Pee Wee Herman. Herman sold them down the river. Rest his soul. We'll talk about some do's and don'ts at the casino. No.

I'm just kidding. I'll tell you one of my favorite casino stories. He's really like, no, I don't want to talk about that. I thought we collated. No, no, no don't want to talk about that. I thought we covered it. No, no, no. I mean, I'm sorry. Well, we were gambling, playing some blackjack.

I was a feature act. There was a club called Joey's in the Detroit area. Just get to the nuts and bolts. Okay. All right. Anyways, so we're at the casino. We're at the casino in Detroit. It's me and that man.

This is tough. I'm going to stay in the pocket like Dusty doing that ad. Go ahead. Do whatever you want, mate. Just try to throw me off my game. So we're sitting there. It's me and the headliner, Mark Britton. And we're sitting there and we're playing blackjack.

And there's this other guy down at the other end of the table. Doesn't say one word to us. I mean, we're playing for a good hour. He doesn't say one. Barely even looks at us the whole time. And Britton gets all excited because he's winning. He's kind of an emotional guy and he goes, I'm up

$500. I'm up $500, man. I'm going to call my girlfriend. And the guy down the table goes, don't tell that woman nothing. That's your money. And he said a word. That's why King Roger should have been spelled. He said, that's your money. I love that. And he said a word. And I said a word. That's some real gambler stuff.

That's why King Roger should have been spouted. Yeah. He said, that's yo money. Because you know that guy had made that mistake before, right? Yeah. He's seen it. He's going to lose it now anyway.

Young man, young man, that's your money. The first time I ever really went to a gambling thing, and Alabama gambling's illegal, but somehow in shorter Alabama, there's the dog track called Victory Land. Okay land and it's legal. It's been, I don't know, grandfathered in, in some way. So it's legal to go bet on dogs. So me and my buddies, we were like

21 and we, we were finally able to get in and we wanted to go. And I had it pictured like, uh, like what's the, uh, the horse racing, uh, Kentucky Derby. I had, I like, what's the horse racing? Kentucky Derby. Kentucky Derby. I thought that's what it was going to be. You wore a seersucker suit. Big hats. Yeah, this is the Alabama Derby.

Yeah, I thought this was going to be. Dog racing. And I get in there and I'm like, whoa, this feels unsafe. You know, this is not. Unsavory. I thought we were going to pick up some women. You're like, I just want to get a mint julep. And you're like, you can get a Coors Light if you're lucky. And so that's what we did.

We just kind of drank. And me and one of my buddies, we just were like, yeah, we'll bet on a dog. You know, we don't know what to do. And then there was this guy there named Butch. And he had like suspenders, missing some teeth. And he was like, he's like, I'll help you. So my friend, he helped my friend. He was like, pick this one to do this, this one to do this.

Do a trifecta. Yeah. Super factor. So my friend was like, all right, yeah, I'll do it. And we were like, and I just remember really being interested in Butch, but I was like, I'm not messing with this guy. And my friend won pretty big. Yeah. Like Butch knew what he was doing.

Yeah, he did. And then, you know, Butch is like, well, now I want my cut. Oh, Butch wanted it. Yeah. Like 10%. I knew there was going to be something. I knew there was a catch. Yeah. But it's like me and my friend lost. We won nothing. My other buddy won big. So he gave Butch 10% and then we felt scared in the parking lot and then made our friend buy us Waffle House. Let me ask you this. Did Butch mention that 10% up front? I don't believe so. Yeah.

Of course not. And I think Butch lived in a hotel and just worked the victory land every day. I'm going to say it was a motel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would bet a motel. I went to the dog track once and and I didn't know what to do.

I said, what did I do here? And a dog, they're walking them out to the box, I guess. One of the dogs pooped on the track. Yeah, that supposedly means he's going to have a good race. Yeah, a guy said, bet on that dog. He's lighter. He feels lighter. I did, and he finished next to last.

Yeah, it's like the other dogs are just pooping in the stall. Yeah. So, I get very intimidated when I go to a casino because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm afraid I'm going to mess up. Come with me, man. I'll show you around. I know. This weekend, I mean, the most intimidating game of all to me is craps. It is an intimidating game

with a lot of ins and outs. And I wasn't there for the beginning when you were giving people the rules. So, the whole time I'm on that table, I have no idea what's going on. I just do whatever you do. And you would be like, double down on something. Back up your bet. Back up your bet. I have no idea. You bet the pass line. And then once you establish a point, you can double that behind it. And that's the best odds in the entire casino is backing up your bet on the pass line. Best odds. I still don't know what that means, but I would just ask, what's the number? And you'd be like, Bates, you don't say the number. Oh yeah, Bates. Yeah, Bates just throwing around.

He's like, what about seven? Don't say seven. That's the one thing that you do not want to say at this table. That's right. All these superstitions. Don't say seven. Yeah, don't ever say it. It's the only thing you really can't say now before they establish the point if you hit the seven or the 11 it pays right right novicki hit about six in a row yeah it's crazy it was nuts man it was crazy it was it was unbelievable and him shaking up the dice which completely they would not let happen in vegas oh really you can't grab the dice with two hands. I mean, because we were playing with fake money, there was some... Why?

Because they think you might slip something in? Yes. Yeah. You grab it with one hand and that same hand is the one you toss it with. Yeah. There's two hands there. Okay. Oh, boy.

So you could shake it up though with one hand. Sure, man. Sure. A lot of people think if you get a pretty girl to blow on it, blow on the dice, that that helps you. You guys are jerks. If you get a pretty girl to blow on the dice, you guys are jerks. You need to grow up, both of you. Sophomoric.

It is. I play sophomoric. It is. It is. You guys need to grow up. I don't even know what you're talking about. I played blackjack recently, and the dealer said, don't touch them with both hands, the cards.

You can only hold the cards with one hand. I think you might have been playing single deck blackjack or something. I've heard that. And that, yeah. In fact, somebody was doing that the other night too. You know, it's interesting thing about the casinos is I,

I was like you, Brian, you're a little intimidated. You're in this world where there's so much going on. It's just, and there's money involved and there's real money involved. What surprised me the first time you sit down at a blackjack table specifically, they will kind of talk you through what to do.

They'll tell you what to do. The blackjack is rigged in such a way that even if they tell you the smartest move to do in every hand, which they will if you ask them, they're still going to end up winning in the long run. How do you think it's rigged? It's not rigged. It's just the game is designed in such a way that the odds are, the house always wins. I think when that backing up your bet on the craps or the pass line, you got like, the

house only has like a 1% or a 3% advantage. And some of these other games, they have a higher advantage. Okay. Blackjack, I will tell you, they will, they'll tell you, and craps, they'll tell you what to do. There was a movie like Brewster Baker or something like that a burt reynolds gambling movie where he was playing craps and it was like it was like the big like he had won so much money and i think he like backed up his bed or something right and it was like he would have he would have like came out

like a millionaire i gotta see this It's a very good movie. Burt Reynolds? Yeah. Do you know Burt Reynolds' gambling movie? Burt Reynolds' gambling? I'm in. Yeah. It's really good.

Yeah. The Burt Reynolds' gambling movie is, oh, boy, Heath. That's close. You got to get rid of the search engine. This is terrible. Yeah. This is terrible. Mississippi Grind.

Mississippi Grind is a gambling movie. I don't know. I don't think that's the name of it. That's Deal. Look up Burt Reynolds Brewster, maybe. Deal in 2008. This is the movie you're talking about? No, it's an older movie.

Okay. How many gambling movies is Burt Reynolds in? Apparently a few. Well, you've got a lot of race car movies. Yeah. I think it's 37. Stroke Race. Another great Charlie Daniels.

Yeah, I mean, all nine of the Smokey and the Bandit movies. Cannonball Run. Cannonball Run. Yeah. Eastbound and Down. Yeah, that's Smokey and the Bandit. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Jerry Lee has a gambling song. Oh, yeah song Does he? That's not Eastbound and Down? No it's a very I can't believe I'm drawing a blank on it Sometimes you're hot and sometimes you're not Oh yeah What's it? I forgot the name of it Man you guys this is good

When you're hot you're hot When you're not you're not Wow In Blackjack though I will tell you guys good i got a lot to check out i think that's when you're hot you're not you're not yeah wow um in in blackjack though i will tell you guys like the one thing my brother's a big time blackjack player plays a lot you don't want to sit there and bet the same thing is that me i'm sorry um yeah that's really uh unprofessional oh my goodness i'm begging you guys to let me stay. I'm going to say right now, you tell me to get up and walk out.

That's the right thing to do. Well, if Nate were here, then we're not going to. We don't enforce those kind of rules. Nate would shop. Nate doesn't play. Under the table. Oh, man. Falling off the Vanderbilt? We're going to edit out the last 90 seconds here. Nate doesn't play that. Under the table. Oh, man. Two for two now.

Falling off the Vanderbilt. We're going to edit out the last 90 seconds here and save you a face a little bit. Yeah, thanks. But when you're playing back blackjack, you can't just sit there and bet the same amount all session long. And I don't understand why, but if you're betting $10 a hand, eventually they're going to grind you down. If you're betting 10 bucks a hand every now and then you got to step up and bet a hundred bucks on one hit like you got to go crazy every night and it's

gets you going and that's what's exciting yeah you got it but you got you cannot you have to vary the bet um and if you get and one the ways that you can vary the bet is when you have a chance to split the cards or double down, you do it. But even just that, the other way my brother says that you can vary the bet is if you tie, if you push, double the push. So if you're betting 20, that next hand you bet 40. Wow. I don't know if there's any logic to that. But every now and then you got to go crazy with a bet. I just watched the movie swingers the

other night and uh that's great it's really funny like they're going to the casino he's like i got he's like i got 400 bucks but i don't want to spend all of this yeah and then they go they take 200 to the blackjack table and like they order a drink they lose at the blackjack table before the drink even comes back because Because he told him to double down. Yeah. He's like, you always double down on, I don't know, on whatever. Yeah. And all those rules, you're still gambling. I don't know who I was with, but based on blackjack, everything that you don't see, you count it as a 10. So if the dealer's showing six, that means he's probably got 16 and his next card

is probably going to be 10 and he's got 26 so he's going to bust yes so don't take a card unless you know if you you know don't take a card if it's a decision because he's going to bust probably now that there's a there's a decent chance he won't but there's a better chance that he will yes and the dealer will kind of if you go should i hit here and they go well the book says you do yeah yeah and they just go like if you're playing it where you want to do your statistically your best move this is what you would do right here and they'll tell you yeah you know yeah i mean i do know that but it's still intimidating when there's other people the table you don't know and you know what they're also they're in

a different financial situation than you two. That's where it's going to get. My brother is big on that, man. Those people at that table, when they started, you shouldn't have done that. I guess this is my money, and I will do whatever I want. Yeah, I'm already in here wasting it, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I shouldn't have came in here. The book says, my brother says, well, I know what the book says. I know what the book says better than you know what the book says i don't even like reading yeah about the book in here yeah and i still am deciding on this hunch i'm going against the book so shut up yeah yeah yeah you shouldn't be talking to me there's i'm trying to bet here there's i'm a gambler there's a story about kevin brennan you guys know the comic kevin brennan i don't know exactly how it went but apparently he was sat down in the at the blackjack table and there was uh a lot of uh uh asian people at the blackjack table and they were i think they were speaking chinese okay and and and

brennan was getting annoyed with it because you know like they're talking about him or what are talking about what's going on so bndan said said i put a curse on the cards he said he he said he put a curse on the cards and and the uh the people at the table got they're like no no no no no they got really upset that brendan put a curse on the cards and so they were telling the dealer he's got to take the curse off the cards. And Brennan said something effective like, I don't know how to take curse off. I only know how to put it on.

You just get up and leave at that point? Yeah, yeah. I think that would work on Dusty. Yeah. Well, I don't gamble, but I was just at a casino. You know, what blows my mind is the slot machines. One time I was at a casino, I put $20.

I was just like, I'm bored. I'm going to do $20 and I'm just going to play the slot machine. My money was not even gone yet before I was like, just run the money out. I was so bored with this. That's why we got to play some cards. I was so bored with this button pushing. Let's go play some cards. I just don't understand how this is what people do.

People will, they travel to casinos to just play the slots. Yeah. I don't love slots. Worst odds I read, slot machines. Yeah. Video poker is real addictive. Yeah. But it's mainly luck, right? Yeah, it is. Video poker, there's a little skill real addictive. Yeah. But it's mainly luck, right? Yeah, it is.

Video poker, there's a little skill in it. Yeah. There's some skill in video poker. But I mean, just pushing that button and the thing's just turning. I'm like, I don't even know what I'm looking for. One time I won. I did this twice. First time I put in 20 and then I went through it.

I won $20. I think this was with you. Yeah. In Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. Oh, yeah. It's way up there. So I won 20 bucks. So I cash through it. I won $20. I think this was with you. Yeah. In Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. Oh, yeah. It's way up there. So I won 20 bucks. So I cashed out.

And then the next casino we were at, I did it again and I lost it. You lost it all real quick. I mean, play some cards, I think. I'm not into, I don't, I'm afraid that I'll, I mean, I got some. Because you have an addictive personality. Yeah, I think so. That's why I never did drugs. Yeah. I was like, I'll just do, I'll probably wind Because you have an addictive personality. Yeah, I think so. That's why I never did drugs. I was like, I'll just do, I'll probably wind up doing a lot of them.

But I will say there's this game called Buffalo Hunters or Buffalo. Duck Hunter? No. No, that's a, I think that's a. I don't think that's. I'm really good at that. I'm pretty sure that's not a gambling. It's not a casino game.

Not the way I played. Yeah, you played it wrong, Greg. I get after it. Yeah. Imagine this. Imagine that. that's not a gambling it's not a casino game not the way I played yeah you played it wrong I get after it yeah imagine this imagine that the guy with the orange hat and the camo yeah

this is your old product and I'm repping an old Greg Warren product the Sonny D hat Sonny's a great product Sonny D that was my orange juice I made mimosas

I drank a lot of Sonny D did you as a kid yeah California style or Florida Citrus punch probably Florida Citrus yeah Florida Citrus is the regular we always supported I drank a lot of Sunny Day. Did you? Yeah. California style or Florida citrus punch? Probably Florida citrus.

Yeah, Florida citrus is the regular. We always supported more southern things. We had both. We probably had. Winn-Dixie, yeah, for sure. Winn-Dixie, I bet you we had. Bruno's. At one point we had. Bruno's, good supermarket.

It was a good store. I like the Harris Teeter. Harris Teeter's real nice. Yeah. Like Teeter. Harris Teeter's real nice. Yeah. Like upscale. Harris Teeter's real nice. Old money? Yeah.

Yeah. Real nice. Yeah. You shop at Harris Teeter growing up? In Charleston. No. Oh, I was going to say at Opelika. I was like, you didn't have a Harris Teeter.

No, no, no. Piggly Wiggly or something. Piggly Wiggly and Winn-Dixie. Dollar General. Winn-Dixie. I bet you we had 17, 18 SKUs in there. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. At one point. Yeah. We love. Save a lot? Do you ever do save a lot? No.

Do you know that? I do know it. I don't save a lot. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things about traveling the country is the grocery stores are different. It's one of the last independent. It's awesome, isn't it? Cross section of America.

Yeah. There you go. We don't have Bruno's here. I don't think Bruno's is left. I haven't seen Bruno's in a while. It never existed here. I almost got think Bruno's is left. I haven't seen Bruno's in a while. It never existed here. I almost got the Bruno's account at one point. They were going to send me, I think, were they out of New Orleans maybe?

They were going to send me, they were going to give me the Bruno's. They used to, you know, Stardome, there used to be, I think it was a Bruno's right there close to the club. Oh, really? And first time I ever went on a road with Henry Cho, he's like, I got to run over here to this Bruno's. You can go with me. I got to get some things. And we went over there road with Henry Cho. He's like, I got to run over here to this Bruno's. You can go with me. I got to get some things.

And we went over there. He got shampoo. And I said, why don't you just use the shampoo in the hotel? He's like, I ain't using that hotel shampoo on this hair. I mean, he does have a real. He does. Good looking head of hair. I'm like, maybe that's why.

Yeah. Kroger brand shampoo. Yeah. Bruno's used to own Piggly wiggly no yeah really during the company's pinnacle it operated over 300 stores under the name bruno's food world food max food fair fresh value piggly wiggly i remember food max yeah i remember there's a win dixie by my house in montgomery and that was the go-to spot. And I remember the day that a Publix opened across the street, and it was just countdown to when Dixie's done. Put them under, didn't they? Yeah. Yeah, and they had good spirits about it at first. I remember asking them, are you guys worried? And they go, no, we've got a loyal customer base here. People have been shopping here for years, and it's just, you know.

Could you see the cracks in what they were saying? Oh man, I could see it in their faces. I thought they'd know it's over, dude. It's over. There's just fewer and fewer cars in the park a lot. And then I remember we moved to Tennessee and I thought, how's that Winn-Dixie doing? And I looked it up on Google Maps and it was not there anymore. And I thought, man. Yeah. I'm going to say this this i mean and i there's still some windixies down in some markets opelika still got one yeah really you're my mom's house yeah

they're no match for republics no it is true yeah honestly when i go to that windixie and opelika i'm like jeez you got none of the things i normally get you know it stinks yeah man and i think you have grown i don't think you're that same dirtball back there pushing pushing other people's products to the back you know and to be fair whoever wrote this they counted on me to be able to cover if they had a few typos that's right yeah i'd like to think if they were reading your copy they they would not have said anything about it. That's true. And it would have been a lot of trouble for them to read. I bet.

Well, I don't want to end on a Helix mattress ad. So could you pull up that casino etiquette do's and don'ts? I just want to get Greg's opinion on a couple of these things. I need you to write this. For probably five seconds, though. Who wrote this? I looked at one before we get to that. Yeah.

Was this written by John Reap? AI. You know, he had the fan etiquette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he did? Yeah. Yeah, we did a whole episode. Oh, I got to check that one out.

On sports fans. Oh, I got to check that out. Yeah, that's a good one. I'm a big John Reap fan. Very funny guy. Great actor, too, to check that out. Yeah, it's a good one. I'm a big John Reed fan. Very funny guy. Great actor too, man. Really good. He is good.

So I was just reading something about casinos and it said that before there was gambling, before there was currency, before there was money, there was... Wow.

Yeah, yeah. So some guy was like, man, how'd it go last night? Oh man, I lost like seven chickens. Oh wow. Like they were bartering. Yeah. You know, another gambling movie that, well, not a gambling movie, but it has gambling's a big thing, Legend of the Falls. Remember that with Brad Pitt and he had a real gambling issue in that movie.

Oh yeah, man. This was real old school gambling. They had currency, and he had a real gambling issue in that movie. Oh, yeah, man. And this was a real old-school game. They had currency, but it's still real old-school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up there in Montana. Yeah. You get mixed up. It's River Runs Through It.

River Runs Through It. Great movie. They are both great, and they're both Brad Pitt, and they both have, you know. Both in Montana, I think. Yeah. You think it was River Runs Through It where he had the gambling problem, or was it Legend of the Fall? I thought it was Legend of the Fall. It's the one where he goes, what's in the box?

Right? Isn't that it? Yeah, probably so. The one where his dad had the, okay. I'm not sure

you're right on this, man. I am right, Greg. I'm always right. His dad had the stroke and his dad was in the stroke and his wife's a secret agent like him.

It's Mr. and Ms. Smith. He's talking to himself the whole time. It not it's not two people it's him the whole time fight club i think and he's talking and he he said we're killing nazis that's the one and then he's like he he's like uh got a lot of tattoos and he's he's really good fighter even though he's a piker yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Oh, that's wild. Yeah. Is that right? That is right. True romance. I think it was when he was a stoner.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, oceans 11, the ultimate casino movie that he was in. Was that about a casino? Yeah. I thought it was like a,

my actually oceans 13 is my favorite. I think with the girls, that's oceans eight. Actually, that is better. Okay. I, I forgot. Ocean's girls? That's Ocean's 8. Actually, that is better. Okay. I forgot about that one. Then Ocean's 13.

I forgot one. Oh, 13, they go back to Casino and then destroy it. 13, I think that one is, yeah. Al Pacino. Yeah, and yeah. He comes back as Scarface. I like Billy Ocean

actually quite a bit. Yeah. Caribbean Queen. Get out of my dreams, get into my car. Very good song. Yeah, yeah. Blue Crush. It's about the ocean. It's about the queen. Yeah. Get out of my dreams, get into my car. Very good scene. Oh, yeah, yeah. Blue Crush.

It's about the ocean. It's about the ocean. Yeah. And some of the dangers within the ocean. Yeah, a lot goes on there. Yeah. It's not a gambling movie, but there's a big scene in it in Rain Man where he counts cards. Oh, yeah.

I would say it's a gambling movie. You would? Yeah. Yeah. The great scene with him in the, in the, yeah, that like, there's like cinematic when they're going up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when they're like dressed up together. Yeah. Yeah.

So is that possible to count cards like that? I think it is definitely possible and it's not illegal, but they will throw you out for it. Yeah. And it's not as difficult. I mean,

I couldn't do it, but it's, it's not as difficult as you might think. You don't have to be a rain man to be able to do it. Right. You can be Kevin Spacey. Pretty smart. Oh, Spacey was the one

that taught. He did it a little bit. Sure, a real story. That's a true story. Who was the guy though, the young actor? Kevin Spacey. We just covered that. You're right. Should have covered that. You're right. Should have been listening.

You know, he was the same guy was also a space alien. I don't know if you ever knew that. K-Pax. I see that. Miles Teller did not care for that movie. He didn't like K-Pax. It looks like never got the point of it. Didn't.

And maybe I was just too young. I did not like that movie. I felt like I see K-Pax? No, I didn't even hear this. I kept wondering when it was going to... Is it a serial? What is it? It's Kevin Spacey as an alien.

It's a rapper. Well, you don't know if he's an alien or not. You get pretty much toward the end that he's just schizophrenic. I think he was an alien, though. Sounds like a good movie, then. All right. It's not. I think it is.

It's not a good movie. I just told you a good movie. Lucky whatever All right. It's not. I think it is. It's not a good movie. I just told you a good movie. Lucky whatever. Go see that. Lucky whatever. Look up lucky whatever. I don't know that K-Pax lost $47 million, though. Yeah.

Maybe lost $30 million. All right. We'll do a couple of these. Lost my interest about 10 minutes in. Don't have your cell phone out. Yeah. This is a good podcast etiquette too, Greg. I'm sorry, guys.

No excuse for what I said. No excuse. I saw this first hand a few weeks ago. It was with Nate. We went to a casino after the show. There was a UFC fight that he wanted to watch. So we're at the table. He's watching on his phone.

A new dealer comes over and says, sir, you can't have this. Yeah, it's not etiquette, but you can't. It's rules because they think you're cheating. Yeah. So Nate comes over and says, sir, you can't have that. That's not etiquette, but you can't. That's rules because they think you're cheating. So Nate got up and left. He wanted to watch the UFC fight. Yeah, he should know better. You can't. And Nate gambles.

That's embarrassing. Not a ton, but it's very embarrassing. He'll play a little bit of cards. He should know better. That's why he's not here this week. I think just sheer embarrassment of them. Yeah. Nate, you're not the king of everywhere you go. There's still rules in the casino. You can't push a stealer around like he's

bro. That guy had it out for Nate, I think. That security guard did an open mic with Nate back in the day. Oh, did he? Probably right. Maybe he did an open mic with you guys because you had some real negative things to say about some specific open mic people earlier.

No, stop. Stop. That's just good fun. That's just good fun. I'm reading through some of these. I've always had some of these. I'll tell you one I learned the hard way at the St. Louis Casino. You know, your instinct is to touch the cards.

And I touched my cards and she goes, we ain't at home, baby. Whoa. I don't understand. Why can't you not touch them? When you're playing blackjack, you can't touch your cards at all. What? You don't touch them. Yes, you can.

What are you talking about? Yes, you can. How do you flip it? Were you playing Ultimate Texas Hold'em? I was playing blackjack. You can, well, maybe.

Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't like a dealer that gives you that kind of attitude. Texas Hold'em, you could show me. I want you to tell me not to touch the cards, but don't say we ain't at home. You don't know where I right. I don't like a dealer that gives you that kind of attitude. Texas Hold'em, you could show me. I want you to tell me not to touch the cards, but don't say we ain't at home. You don't know where I live. I don't.

Yeah. I should have snapped back. Hey, you don't know where I live. She goes, go ahead and get out of here. I think I should have been like, you know what? This guy's pretty good. If you're playing Ultimate Texas Hold'em, which is my favorite casino game, you're all playing Texas Hold'em against a dealer.

You're not playing against each other. It's an awesome game. It's a soccer game, but it's an awesome, it's real fun. Right. But they'll deal your cards and she has to say when you can look at your cards.

Okay. You know, so that reminds me of something like we in our home, like I would, you know, yeah. Yeah. They'll do we in a home like i would yeah yeah yeah they're like and then and then yeah then she'll be like okay yeah casino night with nate everything's a little more lax oh yeah everything's fair you can pretty much do whatever yeah they were yeah oh i'm no vicky's yeah i mean two-handed dice craps the craps dealer i don't

know if you saw he got a little overwhelmed at one point. He did? There were so many people around the table. There's so many things to keep track of if you're running the craps table. You got to know where everybody's bets are. At one point, there's like 30 people around the table. He broke. And somebody tries to buy in.

He goes, okay, everybody has to keep track of their own stuff now. He did. At capacity. He did. Wow. He did, man. We broke him. I felt so bad. I felt bad for him. It was so much. everybody has to keep track of their own stuff now at capacity he did wow he did man we broke him i felt so bad i felt bad for him it was so much and then once it died down he cooled down a little bit no he was a good guy yeah he was a good guy he just got overwhelmed i get it i mean and he was also telling us that it was in his blood like his dad was a craft dealer or something oh i didn't know i don't know if his dad taught him that. Rolled his blood. He broke. You guys got to keep track of your own stuff.

He broke. Which, at a real casino, you'd have been like, okay, I'll keep track of my own stuff. Pretty sure I won on that one. Whenever you say something. That's what Greg said when he said that. You say something like that, I'm in my blood. It's in my blood. It's not going to go well. You got too cocky.

Anytime I've ever gone out a little bit over my skis, life really slaps me back down pretty quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm up here criticizing ad reads and then my phone goes off and I look like the jerk. Yeah. I know.

You want to wrap it up? I think we should wrap it up. Where's everybody going to be this weekend? Well, you know what? I'm off for a little while. got i'm going to do the this weekend i'm off i could be working but i did take the time off next weekend though uh 12 13th and 14th i'm doing three nights at the opry um yes and i just want to say because this is a casino

episode i'm going to be in this is way way down the road, but tickets are available. The rodeo is going to be in Las Vegas. They're having a big rodeo, and I'm doing a show. No way. Well, I don't have the place that I'm doing a show, and I forgot where it is. I'm in Vegas on December 12th at a theater. That's a huge gig, man. Yeah, it's really big.

I'm really pumped about it. So December 12th, and theater. That's a huge gig, man. Yeah, it's really big. I'm really pumped about it. So December 12th, and the tickets are on sale now. So I'll be in Vegas. Pure country. Yeah, during the rodeo. Wasn't that where with the Vegas rodeo with Pure Country? You know what? I'm ashamed to say, even though it's George Strayed and the character's name is Dusty,

I've never actually watched Pure Country. It's a great movie. I'm ashamed to say. Great soundtrack. I've listened to the soundtrack many times. It's a Stray and the character's name is Dusty. I've never actually watched Pure Country. It's a great movie. I'm ashamed to say. Great soundtrack. I've listened to the soundtrack many times. It's a great movie. I'd recommend you do that. I should see it.

Before the lucky you. This one made money. July 27th. I don't think I've ever headlined a show in Knoxville, Tennessee. I've opened for a lot of people in Knoxville, Tennessee. Alley Ray's Gastropub. Nice. Going to do a show there July 27, Tennessee. I'm open for a lot of people in Knoxville, Tennessee. Alley Rays, Gastropub. Nice. Going to do a show there July 27th.

So please come to that. Greg, have you done that? I'm doing it in August. Okay. Well, come to my show first. Yeah. Go see Bates. Yeah.

I've done it. It's great. It's a great venue. Yeah, yeah. The guy, Adam Aaron runs it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's awesome. So that's July 27th, July 30th, 31st. I'm at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. Oh, yeah. The guy, Adam Aaron runs it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's awesome. So that's July 27th, July 30th, 31st.

I'm at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. Oh, yeah. I love that club. Yeah. I do. They have great food. Yeah. The guy was very nice to me.

I love the shows. Yeah, yeah. Is that Captain Brian? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was very nice to me. He liked my show, and then he called his parents and told his parents that they would like me, and they came

and watched me too that's cool that's like the ultimate yeah yeah and august 1st i'm going to be at boca black box in boca oh man that's like supposedly a great place i hope so i've never been yeah man i've heard real good things about that awesome yeah so i'm looking forward to it i expect the same enthusiasm with my gigs i'm about to plug right here the aaron weber no nonsense tour continues july 13th lake forest illinois at the gorton center all right i've never been but it's gonna be i'm excited and then here's a big one st louis missouri hometown of greg warren i was just there with nate i plugged my show all weekend my show at the helium sold out this is impressive september. My show at the Helium sold out.

This is impressive. September 15th, Sunday night, it sold out. We added a matinee show. We doubled down. I've doubled down. Is it a mistake? Maybe. We'll see.

No, no. We're going to fill that. We added a matinee show September 15th, St. Louis, Missouri, at the Helium Comedy Club. See you there. I couldn't be more proud of that. Thank you, Greg. He sold it out quick. Thank you, Greg.

On a Sunday. That's really good. We're going to fill that three o'clock show. Boom. Way to go. What about you, Greg? This weekend,

I'll be at the Improv in Tempe, Arizona. Love that place. Yeah. Love that place. The following weekend, I'm going to Fort Worth and doing a comedy club there

And I can't remember Hyenas? No, it's got the word laugh in it Oh, I know that It's a new club It's a big laugh You're in Austin, I think, right? I think it's Big Laugh

Okay And I have not been to the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area In a long time And I'm pretty fired up I love it there, though Yeah, yeah And one more thing

Because I don't get in here very often. I know you guys got a lot of fans in Nashville. I'll be coming back to Zany's in August. I love that night. Yeah, man. Yeah. You know what night in August?

Nope. I believe it's August 21st. Thanks Brian. You're welcome. That's awesome. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about. I try to keep with everybody's doing.

Yeah. I have a Zany show August 13th. That's why I was hopping. That's what I'm talking about I try to keep what everybody's doing yeah I have a zany show August 13th you can't just hop in that's why I was wondering because my July show is already sold out so if you want to get

tickets for that the Dusty show yeah I was just wondering if they were close by I would see if you want to do well no I'm coming in for one of those man

because it was one of my favorite things the first one I'm going to come in just because it's I need to get to Nashville more often I'm coming in for that Dusty show.

I know Bates has a show. Yeah, we're going to make a second round. My show tonight. Let me pull up my website real quick. My show tonight at Zany's

is sold out at the lab at Zany's. Tonight? At the lab, well, Wednesday. When this airs. Yeah,

I mean, tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tonight. Dusty is not on the show, so.

Stupid, stupid. Yeah, I'm not on the show, I mean, tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tonight. Dusty is not on the show, so. Stupid, stupid. Yeah, I'm not on the show, but I have to go to Alabama. But August 14th, the night after Dusty's show, I will be at another show at the Lab at Zany's, so come to that. I may do that one. Maybe Dusty can do that one. Yeah. I'm going to get in for a baits in a Dusty show. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe come for that. Do August 13th and 14th. Yeah. If I'm around, I will. Yeah. Yeah. I'd come for that. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe come for that. Do August 13th and 14th. Yeah. If I'm around, I will. Yeah. Yeah. I'd come for that.

Yeah. Second round, Aaron? Nah. July 18th to 20th, Cincinnati, Ohio. All right. Commonwealth Sanctuary. I'm stopping this thing. Thank you very much.

We're having a good time. God bless. nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife laura on the audio boom platform recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast