The Nateland Podcast - 212: #212 New Jersey featuring Julian McCullough

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

This week, Nate is late, Aaron leaves early and the guys are joined by fellow comedian and New Jerseyan Julian McCullough to talk about the great state of New Jersey. Dusty explains what was going on in his high school photo, Aaron does his best New Jersey accent and the guys debate what it would be like to sell drugs to Hitler. Nateland is sponsor by BetterHelp. Betterhelp.com/Nate Never skip therapy day, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/nate today to get 10% off your first month.  AG1- drinkAG1.com/nate If you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at drinkAG1.com/nate. Check it out

today's episode of the nateland podcast is brought to you by better help and ag1 hello folks and hey bear i'm brian bates as always i'm here with Dusty Slay. All right. Aaron Weber. All right. And sitting in with us today, the one and only Julian McCullough. All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about.

Welcome back, buddy. Good to see you, man. Good to see you. Welcome back. This is my first time. It's been too long. You've done it before. You're confusing this with us hanging out.

We've hung out a lot. And we've talked into microphones in my hotel room. Maybe that's true. You're confusing this with us hanging out. We've hung out a lot. And we've talked into microphones in my hotel room. Maybe that's true. If you've been to a Nate show in the last year, most likely you've seen Julia. Yeah, I've got to host the Be Funny Tour. Anyway, it was great. Nate, they're there to see Nate. You do a really great job with it.

If you've seen Nate shows, they're so big. They're so crazy. It's crazy. It's like an impossible job hosting a show like that. But Julian really does a good job. If you've been there and you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. You kind of corral them. He has 20,000 people sitting there.

They don't know what's going on. And then you go up there and you go, hey, we got a show. And this is how it's going to work. Yeah. And it would be weird if they were go, hey, we got a show. And this is how it's going to work. Yeah. And it would be weird if they were there to see the host. It would be weird. But it would be nice. Yeah.

No, it's, of course, that was kind of the joke I was making. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they were there to see the host, then you'd be doing those shows. Yeah, that's true. You know? But the, I appreciate that, Aaron. I'm not used to, it's true. But the... I appreciate that, Aaron. I'm not used to... It's weird to open a show with compliments, but

I appreciate it. This is Nate Land, not Hate Land. That's true. Come on. Come on, dude. This is a safe space. This thing just caught fire. No, the... I learned how to host in like a gladiator pit, basically.

I learned at the Stress Factory Comedy Club in New Brunswick, New Jersey, which is a North Jersey comedy club in a basement, about 375 people. We would sell 400. And it was my job to seat the room and convince all these like middle-aged Italian dudes on dates that they needed to sit in this terrible seat. And then I would go up in the t-shirt from the club and host the show. Wow. And so you learn how to take command of a room like that. And it was crazy in there. Yeah.

Talk about baptism by fire. Yeah, truly. I mean, that's how I learned how to do comedy. I had to unlearn a lot of bad habits. Didn't you tell me, though, the first time you did it, you're like, I don't want to come back. The first time I ever did comedy ever was a sold-out Friday night show at this room. I'd never held a microphone before. I'd never, huh?

Who was the headliner? Thea Vidal. I don't know if you guys remember Thea Vidal. I don't. I know Gore Vidal. Is that like him? Thea Vidal was like a- She was big in the 90s.

Yeah, big in the 90s. She had a sitcom. Yeah. She was a sassy black lady, but like very scary. Like she was like- Very scary. Yeah, on the sassy black lady chart, she was like an 11 what was the show she had thea i missed this whole era yeah uh the 90s yeah i guess so thea had it could not have been on long

it i don't think it was on very long i think i think she was scary but it was she was miss pat before miss pat that's right. Definitely. And anyway. It lasted less than a year. Vinny brought me up, the owner of the club, Vinny Brand, who I do owe a tremendous debt to because. I love Vinny Brand. He knew I wanted to do comedy. And then I got a job there and then didn't ask to go on stage for like a year

because I saw Greg Giraldo, Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill, Colin Quinn every weekend, Todd Berry. And I was just like, I'm not going up there. Comedy's terrifying like that. If you've not done it or not done it much, and then you go into an environment like that, and you see people work the crowd, you're like, oh, I never want the crowd to talk to me. I mean, the way they would crush in in that room was like it's a good room oh it's great it's it's one of those things it's like college you know you get out what you put into it yeah and so if you are crushing it's super rewarding but if you aren't crushing it's like

you know uh it's like doing comedy at an airport and no one knows there's a show. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just don't know you're up there. Somebody told me to go F myself last time I was there. Oh, yeah? Did you? They did. But, yeah, basically he brought me up and I remember the feeling in the room was the whole crowd, this sold-out crowd was like why are they making this guy do comedy that was like the feeling in the room why is it called the stress factor i mean we're stressed just jogging i know it stresses you out yeah anxiety hut it's

because anxiety hut was taken. Yeah. Yeah. The real answer is he had three other businesses going when he opened it. So he was like, he just, in his own perspective. Yeah. His comedy club venture was a stress factory for him. And then he didn't think about how that might sound to the public and just called it that. And I've never heard anyone say, I love that name.

It's always like, it's a weird name. It also stands out. People are used to it by now. I don't even really think about what the words mean. Exactly. Yeah, like Nike. Yeah, what is Nike? Yeah, nobody knows.

Yeah, just do it. Yeah, exactly. But how many dates have you done with Nate on this tour? Like a hundred? It's impossible to. No, it's not impossible. It's been posted. It's probably pretty easy.

It's probably pretty easy. No one will ever know. A bit of a paper trail. I was going to say, if you let me finish, I was going to say it's impossible, but I don't know. Okay. A bunch. A bunch. Yeah, it was like eight months of shows, pretty much.

And yeah, it was a bunch. And Nate's not here because we want to hear the real story. We want to hear what really happened. Is this Thea? This is Thea right here. Oh, that's Thea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this looks like the Everybody Loves Raymond house.

And that girl, the middle girl looks like Brandy. It does look like Brandy. Yeah. I think it is. And then that's Marcus Henderson from Smart Guy. Yeah, he's very familiar. He also sang for Simba in the original Lion King. Wow.

That actor. I don't know that. Thea went on stage after my first five minutes. It was so bad. When 375 people pack into a room and it's my first five minutes it was so it was so bad like when 375 people pack into a room and it's silent for five minutes you rethink if you're even a funny person at all you know yeah it like cut to my identity but uh she went up as and total class brandy yeah total class act she uh ripped me for 10 minutes now did you think looking back did you think did you do badly enough that

she almost had to say something when she went up there um or could she have just moved on and not addressed you she was like this is a gift she was like this is a gift. She was like, this is a gift for me. I was wondering what my opening would be. Now I got it. I know. She's like, I had 30 minutes and now I'll have 40. So this is great. No, she, I definitely deserved it. But I also think Vinny was hosting.

So I'm sure he handled it already and then brought her up. He reset the room. Yeah, I'm sure he reset the room. So she did have to go, hey, remember remember that guy how much time did you do five minutes i think oh okay it was i mean a lot can happen in five minutes you bomb it though it was a huge bomb i mean what was your opening joke i oh i have no the only thing i can remember first of all i i was i'd never held a microphone i'd never spoken in front of people before like you know i didn't do like high school anything you know so i was

just like the funny guy at the party or whatever so i get up there and it's like the light i didn't know the lights were going to be bright i didn't know why were you up there then because i wanted to do stand-up comedy okay yeah uh but i just didn't know at all what it was like and it was it's it's awful yeah it's funny when you see somebody uh who doesn't know how to hold the mic and it kind of just works it's oh my god so i'm just out here oh yeah i remember i was visibly shaking yeah i was visibly shaking i was staring at the at the ground sure and um i think i had a bit about how uh when you have roommates and you can't do laundry you have to use their dirty laundry and where you would pick their clothes out of their hamper was like a strategic like you don't want to go recent because it's like still got fresh stuff in it and like it was unthought through the way i just did it was a million

times better i think it sounds pretty good yeah i might do that tonight i'm gonna buy that from you that's all i can remember my roommate i mean my wife yeah yeah so pretty good actually my daughter socks on tonight but i remember i went home that night and i was so depressed i've never been that depressed in my life because up until that point i was like this is all i have is that you believe that you could do it until you went not even on that level i just thought i was a funny person yeah that was your identity so to be that yeah it was literally my identity i didn't have anything else going so to get up there and have a entire room of people be like no yeah that's not true you thought worst case i won't stand out i'll be a little

forgettable yeah yeah then you go up there you're like oh i'm having a negative effect on the show right now i was like falling apart and thing and then and then thea went up and was like if you weren't sure how bad that was here's 10 minutes did thea did you go home and watch her show after that just to you know like go home and watch her show after that? Just to, you know, like go home and- And just like yell, like mock her sitcom alone. No, I actually went home and I didn't even sleep in my own bed because I was like so upset. Didn't feel like you deserved it.

No, I slept in my roommate's bed. He was gone. And yeah, and drank a handle of vodka until I fell asleep. That was it. And then the next day Vinny goes, you're going on again. This whole roommate situation gets weirder and weirder. You're wearing their dirty laundry. You're sleeping in their beds when they're not there.

Turns out I just had some confusing feelings. And didn't know where to work them out. And that's why we all get into stand-up if you think about it. Yeah, that's true. But, yeah, it was, anyway. But Vinnyny to his credit he did not let me quit he kept making me go back on stage it didn't get better for a long time and then he finally let me host and let me like talk to the crowd first without doing material

and that's when i finally started to get my voice he's like we got to figure out a way for you to do less time yeah yeah yeah exactly he's like these things you're thinking of are not good yeah yeah let's see you off the cuff yeah let's get you surviving yeah up there and uh that's when i yeah that's when it started to click for me are you mostly do you do a lot of crowd work now i went through a phase in for a while there uh when i was doing a lot of crowd work like i could do i don't know if this is a brag or not but i could i could do an hour without doing a joke i think um and not doing like you know nice shirt do that yeah yeah it's a problem so but i i used to uh warm up colbert rapport remember the first uh comedy? That's crazy.

Yeah. So that was a great job. And it was like, they were doing rewrites when they would put you out there. So they didn't know how long it would take to fix the script. So I would be out there

from 10 minutes to 45 to an hour. And every day, I didn't know how long it was going to be. So I had to figure out how to like survive. That's a stress factor.

Yeah. So I just got so good at it that I stopped. Anyway, the point is, yes, I am very good at crowd work. I can do it for a long time. And I got so depressed doing it for too long that I never want to go back to doing that. And now, like I just did comedy on state and I tried to do crowd work.

I brought it up. I was like, I'm going to do crowd work. I haven't done crowd work in so long. Here we go. And it went fine. And then I was like, I'm going to do crowd work. I haven't done crowd work in so long. Here we go. And it went fine. And then I was like, I can't keep going. I can't stand it. It doesn't seem like the crowd work place for me.

No. I've only done a little bit there. But it's such a good club. It doesn't seem like a crowd work place. It's almost like a waste of how good of a room it is. It is. I know. It's like going to a steak restaurant and doing crowd work.

It's terrible going to a steak restaurant and like, you know, doing crowd work. It's terrible. Yeah. Well, we did a show in Huntsville and the power, the lights all came on because there's a fire alarm or something. Lights all came off. No, on like the house lights. Oh, I'm thinking the lights went off on Brian at his own show in Huntsville. It did.

Oh, that's fun. And then a week later, one week later, back in Huntsville, the lights come on and you're on stage and you had to fill until they got the situation fixed. Well, Huntsville, the grid needs to be looked at

in Huntsville. Well, they have a lot of engineers down there. I think they're probably on it. It's all that space exploration. Yeah. How about a little less attention out there

and a little more attention down here in Huntsville? I always say that. Yeah. Well, you didn't miss a beat, for the? I always say that. I always say that. Yeah. Well, you didn't miss a beat, for what I'm trying to say. Well, yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah, I remember the lights came on, and then I was – it's fun. When something goes wrong, I love it.

Yeah. I do love that. You've got something to talk about. I love riffing on something. And then the crowd's kind of – they're on your side now because they go, oh, you've got to deal with this. Right. That's different than crowd work. I like riffing.

I'm like a Rory Scovel type. I like doing stuff like that. But I don't like talking, having a conversation until something happens. I don't like doing that. But yeah, that was good. The worst one was in California. I think it was San Jose or something when the sound went out in an arena, which is like. Yeah, that's tough.

Yeah. You can't yell loud enough i tried i go how far can you hear me and i screamed as loud as i could i swear i'm not exaggerating nine rows back they were like really and and it goes for you know 500 rows i think i could get to the balcony you've got a good voice i can project pretty well well where were you but that wasn't the answer how long did that last with no sound so it was the thing was the sound was imperfect but a lot of the

crowd couldn't hear it so it was like there were pockets of sound so it was I was up there for probably 25 minutes with the sound being bad I did a show where I worked with a band and I did okay. And then when I got done, the band came out and they started singing.

And, you know, the songs were great. But when they would talk in between songs, I couldn't understand what they were saying. And I was like, was that what it was like for me up there? Yeah. Could you not understand what I was saying? Did you like was that what it was like for me up there yeah yeah could you not understand what i was saying did you ask anybody no i just i said how did you do i did great well then they probably could have heard that they could no they were doing that thing where when you can't hear somebody go oh nice yeah they just kept doing that oh yeah i say i did great but i didn't i walk off going, yeah, they needed me on this. Yeah.

Oh, opening for music. I did a tour with Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. I don't know if you've heard of them. I have heard of them. I did. It was a bunch of House of Blues and stuff like that. And it was hard. What did they sing?

They had one big hit, right? I don't know if they had a hit. Maybe they had a few, but I feel like they had one. I think they had a TV theme or something. I don't know. They're like a throwback to Heart in the 70s. That's their whole thing. I don't know. They're like a throwback to Heart in the 70s. Like, that's their whole thing. But they're great.

But opening for music when they don't know there's going to be comedy is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had to do. Well, I was on the bill. But they should put next to your name in front of his comedy. Yeah. You know? Yes. But no, it was fine. But I just noticed that it was fine but i i just um

i just noticed that it was hard to understand their stories and i thought but but they could have had a different microphone set up and all that so well that's the thing with musicians like that's that's why they have instruments because they can't talk yeah and they don't even know how to talk maybe they didn't really have a story they have to sing everything yeah they didn't have a story there's it actually, I'm annoyed. Are you annoyed by musicians? Have you ever gone to a live show where he's funny? Yeah.

I'm annoyed by that. He's only funny. I'm like, stay in your lane. He's only funny because he's playing music and they didn't expect the comedy. If they walked out there and they said, that guy is just going to be funny for 10 minutes, that guy would bomb. Yeah. But I deal with that. And we've talked about it before.

At the Grand Ole Opry, sometimes you'll follow somebody, a great musician, and they're getting huge laughs between songs. And Charles Esten, I had to follow him once. Yeah. And you know Charles Esten? Yeah, I do. You might know Charles Esten. Charles Esten is also a funny guy. Whose line is it anyway?

Oh, okay. He was Chip Esten at the time. He's also, but he is a funny guy. He's a funny guy. Oh, I was thinking also a funny guy. Whose line is it anyway? He was Chip Esten at the time. He's also, but he is a funny guy. He's a funny guy. Oh, I was thinking about the wrong guy. He has a background in comedy. Yeah. And then.

Oh, but he was doing music? But he was the star of the show Nashville. Okay. Where he played the singer. He's also in The Office. He was in The Office. Charles Esten, though, when you say, talk about staying in your own lane. Charles has all the lanes.

He's a good looking dude. He's all the lanes. He's a good-looking dude. He's a good musician. He's a good writer. He's funny. It's like, take it easy. I know. I hate him, and I don't even know who he is. Also, a nice guy.

Oh, come on. An unbelievably nice guy. It's so gross. But after he got off, I go, I don't appreciate how many laughs you got, dude. He was like, you'll get them, buddy. Well, I was in Florida this week. I was at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples.

Congratulations. And then I drove over to Boca Raton, did the Boca Black Box. So thank you to everyone who came out. Off the hook, did you order any seafood? I did not. You didn't? It's a seafood restaurant.

The food is really great there. Yeah. You messed up, dude. Yeah. You were just there for the shows? I just come in, do my thing, and get out of there. Love of the game. I'm all business, man.

Did you meet the captain? Did not meet the captain. Yes. Well, I mean, he wasn't there. It's not like I snubbed him, Dusty. But his name's Captain Brian. Yeah. And then they're like, we want you to call in to this hip-hop radio station

because that's my target audience. And that guy's name was Flying Brian. And I'm like, well, everybody's named Brian, apparently. I need a thing. Yeah. What'd you come with? Breakfast Brian? Yeah, breakfast, Brian. Yeah, that's pretty good. But anyway, great time. You did hip hop radio to

plug your shows. Yeah. Was there a noticeable? Did you see I made a joke about there was one black woman in the room and I told everyone in the audience everyone was there was like, you know, it's an older crowd retirees and I told the story. It was very funny. And I think in the audience everyone was there was like you know it's an older crowd retirees and I told the story it was very funny

and I think the one woman who was there she didn't hear me but they had to single her out really made her feel bad about that whole thing she's like

ah I'm just trying to do a show I know I just assume you listen to hip hop I don't even listen to hip hop that's the thing

about doing those morning radio shows I don't think I've ever of all the radio I've ever done I don't think i've ever had somebody come up to me after a show i've been like i heard you on rotten ralph and the and the houdini it depends man it's they're still they're still rotten ralph i don't know is that real well mine was called mine was called the freak show so freak show yeah i heard you on the freak show. All my fans. The twisted mind of Brian Fakes. Freak show.

Yeah, there are some in some markets where they do draw. I had a couple of old ladies come to my show one time because I said, I said, my show's relatively clean. And I said, this is the type of show you can bring your aunt to and not be embarrassed. And they were like, we heard you say that. So we came to the show. Wow. I'm going to steal that line yeah i like that i had when i did bob and tom for the first time recently

i've i people came up and said i saw you on bob and yeah well bob and tom's different yeah that's uh that's yeah is it still bob and tom the show's still called that call there is no bob yeah you can't i thought they replaced him with a different Bob. No. They didn't? I don't know. They replaced. I did it over Zoom.

I don't know. The new singer for Journey also is the new Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sounds just like Bob. It's amazing. They got Chick McGee, Chrissy Lee. Yeah.

And there's some other people that I know that are my friends that their minds are, their names are escaping me right now. Yeah. Yeah. What were you guys? You're on the road with Nate, right? Yes. I was at, we were in.

There's no way to know. It's impossible. It's impossible. We'll never know. Uh, nobody writes any of this down. Um, no, it's, uh, we were at, yeah, we were at the Hard Rock in Atlantic City. And then we were at the Jamestown Comedy Center. It's like the comedy museum in Jamestown, New York.

That is like, no exaggeration, 10 times better and nicer and cooler than you think it's going to be when you get there. Yeah. You know, it's so cool. But anyway, we did like a benefit show there. And the shows were great. I love casinos. We'll just say I love casinos. We'll leave it at that.

We'll leave it there. I don't drink and I don't do drugs. So I love casinos. Well, man needs a vice. That's what they say. Yeah. But it's not a vice if you're winning. That's what they say. Yeah. But it's not a vice if you're winning. That's what I'm saying.

And if you're losing, it's just because you haven't played long enough. It'll come back around. Well, that's exactly right. Yeah. You're not playing long enough. You just got to keep at it. Keep going to the 18. Yeah.

You're always one hand away from winning it all. Yeah. There was somebody who had a joke. He was talking about playing the change machine at a truck stop. He's like, I kept breaking even. If that's your joke, I'm going to be so mad. Oh, that's so funny. I heard it somewhere.

No, that's great. Kept breaking even. Yeah, I love gambling, but it's, you know. The problem is the first time I ever did it, I had like $700 to my name, and I lost. I was like, I'll play with $300, and I was like. Man, that's a huge percentage. I mean, it was.

But you can't really go in with less. You feel like a child if you do. Oh, I do. I go in with $20. Yeah, you know a child if you oh i do i go 20 bucks yeah but you're breakfast brian yeah so uh but they and i remember i lost anything you don't even need money yeah that's right i lost it and i went i i go i don't think you're supposed to go to the atm but i can't i can't leave like this yeah so i went to the atm and i took out another like 400 and now i had like i mean honestly to be honest i probably had like 900 left in my checking ATM and I took out another like 400. And now I had like, I mean, honestly, to be honest, I probably had like $900 left in my checking account when I took out 400 the second time.

And then I won 900. You're getting richer just as the story goes on. Well, I'm just saying like I didn't bring myself down. I don't want it to seem like I was that crazy. I had 700 to my name. But then I had 900 after I took out a second. In that particular checking account. I had a different card with 30 grand in it. And then offshore I had $900 after I took out a second. In that particular checking account. I had a different card with $30,000 in it.

And then offshore, I had a couple million. But the point is, it was blood money. And then I went to the ATM. I won $900, and that ruined me for the rest of my life. Because I was like, oh, you just got to keep going. And then you get it all back. It felt good, didn't it? Yeah.

Well, Julian, now's maybe a good time to tell you about better help. Sometimes building this world we're trying to build can become overwhelming. Even when, Nate was supposed to be reading this, even when I'm doing what makes me happy, it can get hard to make sure I can fit everything in. That's why therapy is more important than ever. Therapy is something that helps us all manage our time skills so we can continue to do everything we love, but in a healthy way.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suitable to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash nate. I like that you said Nate was supposed to be reading this right before you read the line,

even when I'm doing what I love, as if that couldn't be your line. Well, the whole part, I skipped some of it. Oh, okay. I thought he was about to say when I'm doing arenas or something, but it was just when I'm having a good time. Yeah. They meant somebody else to read this. Well, I need better help.

Oh, and look at that. Speak of Nate and he shall appear. Look who's in the building. All right Nate and he shall appear. Look who's in the building. Alright. Here he is. Just read BetterHelp. Oh man, welcome to Lateland. Thank you. You already made a Hateland joke.

Aaron's on fire. I went on Rhyme Zone earlier. Hello folks and hey bear. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. What's up? Sorry. I i was late i figured we had you know our boy julian yeah i know you guys don't like him but he's a good guy no we're gonna make it work i'll uh i'll be honest they you know they let me know that like this whole time so it's not like i i wonder how they feel yeah you know it looks like we brought in the

guy who made the wood and we're just like talking we're going so tell us about this table well by the way i wasn't gonna wear this your sister i was walking in with coffee into your office today and she uh decided to jump scare me like from around the corner and i just threw coffee all over my white shirt yeah so then i had to wear this and now I look like I built the table. Where did you get this shirt? I had it with me, but I wasn't going to wear it. My dad used to sell insurance in a shirt like that. All right.

How do you like that, Nate? I can sell insurance in this shirt. On the table. Yeah. Insurance on the table. It looks good. I think it looks good. It looks good.

You spilled something this weekend on your shirt, too. You had another one. He's had a few shirt incidents this weekend. What was that one? Oh yeah, that was just standard eating. Yeah. That was, I had no problem, like obstacles. Yeah.

It was. Yeah, it's tough like when you go do a show, because we did, we were in Atlantic City and then Jamestown, New York. In Jamestown, New York, we were just kind of show ready pretty early because we went to the National Museum. Yeah, before we got there. Before we got there, then we were eating.

And so there's a, you know, it's a... It's risky. It's a tightrope walk right there. And I had a white t-shirt on. And I ate, what was it? Because you got to think about every bite.

You do. You got to think about every bite. What were you eating? What was it? I think it was the dessert Because you got to think about every bite. You do. You got to think about every bite. What were you eating? What was it? I think it was the dessert that probably got you. There was a pie that was a triple berry.

Oh, wow. And those berries will ruin a white shirt forever. Oh, man. Forget about it. It's worse than blood. Yeah, that was the end. So it goes,

Aaron, you waiting to go in from the bench? Yeah. Keeping warm? he's still eating the pie yeah no he's got his hood up like he's

I feel like I'm waiting to take the warm up jacket off yeah on the bench yeah did you tell your parents you go I think

I'm getting in today I don't see how I wouldn't this team's the worst team in the world everybody showed up coach said did everybody show up

whole family showed up no my family would stop coming to I got thrown out of games they did middle school basketball I got thrown out of games oh why

for what I would foul kids politics enough oh you were the guy they put in just the hack-a-shack yeah I would

they would put me into foul people to stop the clock at the end of the game I could see that. And I got thrown out of a game. They were commenting on how pretty your lips are. Yeah.

You do have pretty lips. And then you fire them up. They fire you up. I don't like how the podcast turned in the last. I mean, we were discussing Julian's gambling problems, and then you walked in, and now I'm talking about my personal lives. I don't remember there being any problems. Yeah.

It's only if you lose. Where were you, Aaron, this weekend? I had a long weekend, man. Billings, Montana for the Yeehaw HeHaw Festival. Friday and Saturday. Do they need both? The Yeehaw. If you're in the HeHaw, you might as well HeHaw.

All right. Okay. I don't know. I'm a newbie. Yeehaw HeHaw. I did that. I was in Billings for a couple days. That was fun. Then just 6 a.m. I don't know. I'm a newbie. 2,000 billings for a couple days. That was fun.

Then just 6 a.m. flight to Portland. And then I was in Corvallis, Oregon last night. Oh, I love Corvallis. Majestic Theater. They talked about Dusty a lot. Dusty did two shows there. I did one, but it was sold out of show. It was pretty awesome.

I love that place. It was really, really great, man. It was awesome. And then 6 a.m. flight. Did they give you a mug? They did give me a mug. They gave me an Air and Land mug. Yeah.

I should have brought it in, but that's just an awesome town, awesome show. And then I had an early flight back today. Had a woman freak out on the flight today. No way. It was pretty nice. Yeah. Overseeing you? It was pretty fun.

No, no. Is that Aaron Weber? No, there's a woman on the plane wearing something inappropriate on the flight. Like political? No, like not enough clothes. Not enough clothes. And I saw her. Was she attractive?

What are we looking at, Southwest here? This is Southwest, for sure. I flew Delta on the way there, and then I flew Southwest back. I'm just trying to find out how inappropriate. Inappropriate on Southwest is way more inappropriate than inappropriate on Delta. Would we show it on Nate Land? No, no, no, no. I saw her walk on the plane.

I was like, oh, my gosh. That's crazy to wear on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're like, that's crazy, but I'm into it? I'm going to sit next to her? Not the right context. It could have been anybody and it'd be like what are we doing maybe she had something over that but see she spilled something

on him yeah yeah i mean julian's borderline inappropriate yeah yeah yeah it was like really short shorts and she sat down and i guess somebody complained or maybe something she's a row in front of me the flight attendant comes over and goes, you're going to have to put on some different shorts. What? She goes, this is the style of shorts. And she goes, well, she goes, you ain't going to be sitting in my plane in your panties.

Yeah. So she freaks out. Her bag is like three rows away. So she walks down, pulls open the thing, reaches in, finds her suitcase, gets a pair of shorts, and like slams it shut, and she pulls down her shorts and changes in the aisle. Yes. Wow.

No, none of this is good, dude. No. What is she doing? Are they still boarding? By the way, that wasn't a pervert, yes. That was an anti- establishment. Oh, sure. You're just rooting for chaos.

The whole plane's boarded, but we haven't left to take off yet. So this all goes down. She slams it shut, does that in the aisle. Like a teenager with their bedroom door. She's probably my age. Yeah, early 30s maybe.

And then she goes back. Same body type? All the fun. All right. Anyway. So that was a good question. That was a good question. No.

And all the fun. You don't want to describe in detail what her body type was? I don't, actually. Not even a hint. That's fine. We're just trying to get a picture. I posted the video on Twitter earlier. Oh, okay.

I did. I'll let you do that. I would never do that. It was just fun. Stuff like that can be energizing in a way. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it was just so monotonous the whole weekend, the travel, and then you're like,

oh, dude, we're still out here. People are going crazy on flights. I love it. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, the world's insane yeah they're crazy i mean were the shorts she put on over her shorts the same style of short yeah that'd be double weight that would have been that would have been good no i put on like sweatpants or something oh okay but then i saw her waiting for uber after and i was like she was back in the original clothes oh really just shameless well she was so she was probably so sweaty in those that's true actual clothes the anger and the sweat the comfort

people have like i was talking to someone that is like with people not waving in a car anymore and like just saying thank you and all that it's like you're losing so much of just the politeness of just we're all going through this together let's just be reasonable manners are like the olive oil of interaction I think it would

I think it could come back I think our kids because we're the generation that's like what are you doing and so then the one that's underneath just feels like they can do whatever but it's so over the top that's like, what are you doing? Yeah. And so then the one that's underneath just feels that they can do whatever. But it's so over the top that's embarrassing that I think the younger generation now is like,

well, I don't want to be- Yeah, an animal. Noticed. Right. You know, you want to be just, I don't want to act like I just own it, you know. These streamers, dude, I see this, I just, I don't know how I see someone,

but like that speed guy and the neon like they just do stuff they're just talking in public it's like a truman show yeah but they're having the cameras follow i could never i know it's crazy how do you it's uh it's why i have no content because i'm like i won't go into the world and be like hey everybody what's up smash that like but you know oh it's crazy no i'm too busy holding doors open button though what you gotta smash the like you gotta smash the like button but there's a time and a place it's true there is juice the algorithm yeah that's how you do it yeah but yeah the plane thing also the joke that seemed to not land with anyone but you and

then it seemed to get real serious. I didn't know it was a joke. Yeah. I just see, you know, YouTube people are always like, go ahead, smash that like button. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The plain thing with the clothing, like the guys that wear, I had, there was a guy, he was probably like 25, and he was wearing full pajamas, a regular pillow, like from his house, like a house pillow.

And with those people, I think the flight attendants should talk to them like they're unaccompanied minors yeah you know what i mean like oh is this your first oh it's gonna be okay i'll sit with you yeah can you imagine like getting you're a man you're getting to somebody picking you up and they're picking you up at the airport and you're like you've been out all day and you're still in your pajamas. You got your home pillow. Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? You've got up.

Go ahead. Get dressed. You're out in the world now. It's unreal. And you can basically wear stuff that's more comfortable than pajamas that looks. Viore. Great. You're doing it right now.

I'm wearing Viore. Yeah. Honestly, you can wear. I have golf pants and Viore jacket on. Yeah. And I could sleep in this in my bed right i think they'd see these these people were you know it's they get too old they like they're you know they they hit this 30s and then they you know i don't know i don't know

what they're doing for work like they don't have any like they're just i always think they get gamers i feel like they're professional gamers yeah So they've never had to really be outside. It really could be anybody. It's not a type. I mean, you can be very judgmental in a lot of things. A lot of things fits very much in stereotype world. But this kind of delusion, it plays across where you would be shocked at sometimes being like, what are you thinking, dude? I just couldn't imagine going through TSA in my pajamas.

I don't even want, I don't even own pajamas because I don't even want my family to see me in pajamas. Oh, I wouldn't. What are you sleeping? I just, you know, my underwear. That should be our- That should be, I've seen boxes. That should be one of those organized protests we do. You know? It's like we're

protesting pajamas on the plane. We think. We probably take them off to get in those boxes. But yeah, if I wore my pajamas on the plane, it would just be me and boxers. You know, you just get on the plane that way. I'm in my pajamas. I just want to be comfortable.

That's how I sleep. I'm trying to get to sleep on the plane. Yeah, it's crazy. Did y'all read No Comments yet? No Comments yet. Y'all got nowhere. All right, we can start with you guys. Did anybody else, did you have something? Dusty, did you have anywhere you wanted to mention?

I had a great weekend in Buffalo, New York at Helium, and then I did a corporate gig on Saturday. It was great. I went to Canada. It was a lot of fun. No corporate. We're going to Canada Friday.

All right. Where are you going? Canada. I'm going. Canada has corporates. We have corporations. No, I did a corporate in Ohio but I went to Canada in between.

Oh, okay. I was going to say. Where are you guys going in Canada? I'm not going. He's not going. I'm going. Halifax and something. The Great Outdoors Festival.

You just want to join. You don't get to go all over. No, no. You don't get to go to all of them. No, no, no. I don't get to go to Canada. Yeah. I had an issue. No, actually. Gambling debts.

Yeah. I just remembered that's a real thing that people can't go to Canada because I've never had a DUI. Yeah, yeah. No, we've had. I mean, we had someone on the road with us once that we could not let him through the border. No, it wasn't. It wasn't him? It wasn't the guy wearing a hood during the whole podcast?

Yeah, they didn't let them through. And then they had to go get a hotel. We were on the bus, and they had to get a hotel. And there's no hotel, so it's like a guy's house. Then that guy had to drive them to the airport the next day. It was a whole thing. And it was that kind of thing. Yeah, that stuff, you know, you're young.

You do some stuff. And look, stuff happens. But it's like it can mess you up. You can't go. They get real strict, you know, obviously. And it makes it weird. But here we are. We made it through. We did.

This is the reading part? That's a real like vague safety speech. Yeah, yeah. Basically, be careful out there. Yeah, be careful out there because you're going to be 18 and dumb and then do something 34 and you're going to look crazy. Keep your eyes open. David Keltonik.

Keltonik. I started listening to this episode while mowing the lawn and was surprised when y'all started to wrap it up after only 13 minutes. I realized the phone in my pocket had been skipping randomly through episodes. It kind of says a lot about the podcast. You can jump in and out at any point and not miss a beat. I considered going back to listen to the whole thing, but I figured I'd get the

gist of it. That is what it's all about. I think that is what it's... And I think I like that. You know when you're watching a movie at home and you get up and go to the bathroom and they go, do you want to pause it? And you go, nah. Nah, nah. I can't imagine no and that's this podcast that it should be we're trying to make entertainment that is that it's why i keep not finishing my sentences because if it's going to be skipping around anyway yeah it's like these people don't know they weren't

even following along to begin with no no i don't need to finish it uh codyger. Krieger. Krieger. Krueger. Krieger? Krieger. Krieger probably makes sense. Do you guys think the Dump Dusty guy gets a false sense of happiness when Dusty misses an episode? I think the guy misses me when I'm not around him

because he can't do Dump Dusty when I'm not on it. He loves you. This guy goes to other podcasts that I do with people and puts Dump Dusty on them. Oh, really? Like where I'm a guest on someone's podcast. You made it weird with Pete Holmes and the first comment was Dump Dusty. Yeah. It's like I'm not a member.

I'm not always on Pete Holmes' podcast. I did one episode. Dump him. He's like, if you were thinking about making him a permanent host, go ahead and dump podcast. Yeah. I did one episode. Dump him. He's like, if you were thinking about making him a permanent host, go ahead and don't do it. Yeah. I mean,

yeah. I love the idea that you, everybody's podcast you go on, people are like, I might hire this guy. Yeah.

You carry that energy around. You're that good. It happened here. It happened here. Yeah, it's true. And then the guy, yeah,

but this guy wants to make sure it doesn't happen anywhere else. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, I made the mistake once. It happened here. Yeah, it's true. And then the guy, yeah, but this guy wants to make sure it doesn't happen anywhere else. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, I made the mistake once by not telling Nate. Yeah, before, he was probably wanting to do it on ours, but he thought, they can't add someone. And then he's like, you know, sometimes it's like, well, you got to fix it. Yeah. They might add him.

Yeah. Jane Murray. Aaron, you're soft, perceptive. Oh, wait. Aaron, you are soft, perceptive. Oh, no, it is. She had it right. Yeah, she had it right.

Jane had it right. There should be a comma in there, I think. Is there? A comma would have helped. I don't know. After soft. Aaron, you're soft. No, there's no comma.

There's no comma. I got hung up in the your nonsense. Aaron, you're soft, perceptive, deceptive, and sometimes understated responses can go unnoticed. You've got the perfect combination of smarts and humor. My May fatherhood bless you. Wow, look at that. I mean, if I were sweet.

Thank you, Jay. If it doesn't jane may want to holler at you yeah yeah notice she didn't say may marriage bless you yeah may fatherhood she's like you know yeah yeah i appreciate you writing in yeah Got the perfect combination of smarts and humor. Jane Webber. That's pretty nice. Jasmine Lozano. Love the senior portraits. It took me back to the MAPS episode when Aaron pulled up a picture of a sea cow and Nate asked,

is this when you graduated high school? No, that's not very nice. I wish I'd been on that one. That sounds like a fun one. That was a fun one. We used to be a pretty good time yeah uh god back in the day this podcast was so great yeah dusty you haven't been here to explain your your senior portrait yet we were here last week i mean yeah what is up dude i mean i think probably out of the four of us there's the shocking obvious difference between how you look now shocking well you're the only one who

was a villain in harry potter well we can skip the next comment then oh here we go oh no let me get it oh witchy uh witchy trista young dusty looks like draco malfoy who's that is that the villain of harry potter oh yeah i stepped on her i didn her. I didn't read ahead. Sorry, witchy. When I was in high school, Eminem was very popular. It was the height of Slim Shady. The very first Slim Shady song came out when I was in high school. So you were not a fan of tanning beds at this point in your life? No. Or ever going outside.

You've never seen a tanning bed at this point. Yeah, not really gotten into it. But I didn't always have my hair like that. I bleached it and then I would let it grow out. And then I had like, I'm not saying it looked better, but it was a different look, but I had just gotten a fresh cut and got it. I was gelled up. I thought I was looking pretty cool. I mean, it does not look like you. No, I was never totally confident in the way I looked but uh not at this point but you know i was struggling i got the same eyebrows so you can see the eye wait that's senior

high school yeah wow yeah so what was your job what were you working at that point i was probably working at jim bob's or maybe western sizzling yeah jim bob's chicken fingers chicken fingers oh obviously yeah how many uh i buy chicken fingers did you always have a band-aid on that's what you look like just a kid that always has like uh like you're like god you cut yourself every day oh no i was never hurt but i uh that the what's really throwing this look off is this uh collar shirt and tie i'm wearing i mean i was a much grungier looking guy that's probably the most yes yeah basically i mean that's the part i didnungier looking guy. Oh, that's probably the most basic. I mean, that's the part. I didn't even look down that far in that picture yet.

Yeah. I mean, it's a great smile. It's great everything. It's just you don't think that kid's going to become what you became right now. Nah, you didn't think he'd do much. I'll tell you that. That kid's going to ask you for a Newport outside of 7-Eleven. Yeah, that's.

That is true. That's spot on. I love that you worked at a chicken finger place because if I saw you working there, I'd go, well, this kid only has ever eaten

chicken fingers. So he's going to know what he's talking about. I want to ask though, Aaron, though, yours up here, is that... That's not

your senior year. Yeah, it's my senior year of high school. And the first season of Roseanne when he was married to Roseanne Barr. It just seemed really young.

I was 18. Dan! 18 years old. I think they airbrushed the face a little too much because I do look more youthful than I probably did in real life. Yeah, it's... The haircut's tough to see. I think the lighting's bad

here in my picture no lighting no we had to turn the lighting down or we'd be too bright it was too bright i mean your face got washed out yeah well you also had gotten punched in the eye not during this picture but my eyes swole shut and so i don't think it had quite gone back down brian how would you describe what what was the instruction from the photographer before you made that face do you think did you did the fire go out when the picture was taken you're going to me yeah like you know those cameras it goes i didn't we got it next wasn it you called mine i said it looked like you were uh undercover trying to bust kids for drugs in high school yeah you got a you got a 42 year old uh pretending to be in high school you got a pound of uh drugs on you yeah looking

to buy a pound of drugs he uh a lot lot of folks posted their most embarrassing senior photos, and there were a lot of good ones out there. This was not embarrassing for me. I'd just like to say. Well, I'm not saying it was. This is one of my favorites. Oh, wow. That's from Brandy Coy.

Which one is the student? She said she loved Jesus then, she loves Jesus now, but she was really into him then. Kind of like your parents. Yeah, yeah. She was the most Christian then. The into him then. Kind of like your parents. Yeah, yeah. She was the most Christian then. The most Christian then. So that's very funny.

Wow. Painting in a painting. It's a little, can I just say, and I don't know how mean we get on this show, but it's a little, not mean, but I'm saying like to position Jesus like he's looking up at her. Like, wow, you are.

I mean, I'm something, but you're something. Well, to me, it looks like he's looking around her going ah she's looking at me again yeah it also looks like she knocked the pedestal over yeah that his painting was probably a deeper metaphor in here this greek column got pushed over yeah and then the picture of Jesus. Oh, yeah. That's right, because Christianity replaced the ancient Greek system. Remember? Maybe she's... Is that what you're referring to, or are we not getting that deep into history? She's Samson.

Did you know that, Aaron? I don't even know if that's true. I don't know what you're talking about. The Christian... Remember they would feed Christians to the lions or whatever? In Rome? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.? In Rome? Oh, yeah. Is that Rome?

Rome, Greece. Same thing. Whatever. You two do well together. It's like Philly, Jersey, whatever. Carmi Girl 9902. The quick dismissal of Serena and Simone is so disappointing. It only takes a quick dive to find out

the two have transcended their sport through excellence. In Biles' case, she has five moves named after her. They have unfairly changed the rules in gymnastics because no one can do what she does. Greatest athlete indeed. Yeah, that is crazy.

That is crazy to be like, they're just changing the rules. And Katie Ledecky says she wants to do the next Olympics. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, I watched her. She's so far ahead of those girls. Just be.

Just do it. How slow could you possibly? Even if you're a little slower, like what? You give up five seconds in the next Olympics. Yeah, yeah. She's winning by 10, 11 seconds. I mean, she can probably do it for 10 more years. That's so, I always thought, like, you know, I watched the 100.

And it's Usain Bolt. It's like, I want to go back and watch his stuff. That dude is. He had space between him. He had like two lengths of dude between him and the second guy. Those guys were so fast. And the other ones are like, I mean... Yeah, they ran 9.78.

His was 9.58. 9.56. It's one of the few sports where, yeah, you can judge it anytime in history on who's truly the greatest just by their times. Yeah. It's not like they're competing against each other in the sense that you could deter. Well, some, yeah, then they get into they said this track was fast, this track I guess there's always something.

They have to put wind aided if the wind was behind you. There could be some stuff. What about swimming? That seemed like that would be always the same. No, because then you've got to worry about tide and the current current stuff like that yeah swimming's probably the whole time i was thinking when they swim i wonder if it gets too

rough like if say you get way ahead or something yeah if you're just like he's he's splashing yeah yeah you're knocking water over into the thing off the original when you jump off cannonball it yeah yeah splash make a lot of and confuse everyone and then take off. There you go. That's the way to do it. I bet you swim marginally faster in warm water too.

So I think the temperature might be a little. Oh, yeah. You know, sound travels faster in warmer temperatures. Well, that's cool. Dry heat.

I'm saying, I'm saying there's a reason. I prefer your soft comments. Mm-hmm. Soft perception. Maybe that's one that... Does sound really travel farther in warm stuff? Not farther. I didn't know that.

I was trying to make you feel better. Is that true? It's like a baseball. Is that true, man? That's cool. That's a fun fact. That's cool. Wow, I didn't know that.

It's a fun fact. It's like when you... Yeah. They get to quit being mean to your brother. Wow, well, that's cool. No, I said I like what he's doing. Yeah, I said... There's a video I said I like what he's doing. Yeah. I said that.

There's a video now of Usain Bolt racing normal people and I mean, he's just, of course, just messing with them but they try to keep up with him.

Have you seen it? Wait, what? Bolt is racing normal people? Yeah. No, I haven't seen that. You're looking at me like I said he should have done that

but he didn't. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Julian, now they've started doing it. That's great. I want to see that. That's cool, man. That's great.

You're encouraging. Wow. All right. I'm going to write that down. I got two things to look up tonight. I think you and Aaron should talk about stuff. Aaron's was more interesting, but I just wanted to chime in. Josiah Day.

Nate's saying he doesn't think Phelps is the greatest is crazy. I guess that's it. What'd you say? I don't know. I guess that Phelps is not the greatest. That he stinks? No, you said you were expecting Tiger. We looked up a list of the best athletes of the 21st century so far.

Okay. And we were trying to guess who would be number one, and we thought it would be Tiger Woods. And then it was Michael Phelps. So I think you weren't upset that he was number one and we thought it would be tiger woods and then it was michael phelps is yeah i think you were all right like upset that he was number one if you look at the most gold medals one in history there are three people tied for third with eight gold gold medals each there are two people tied for second with nine gold medals each and then there's michael phelps in first with 23 gold

medals i do agree i think it's you got me me. It's like, yeah, it's tough. It's like, they're just different sports, so it's like a different kind of thing. It's like, I mean, why would you not put, you know, it's like, it would be like, well, is Michael Phelps better than Wayne Gretzky? Wayne Gretzky has every record on Planet Earth broke. No one's even can come close to him.

He like triple broke him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Michael Phelps, it's like, he's a fast swimmer, right? So that's the whole thing. But 23-goal mills. Because when you see all the- He's just like fast every time. Yeah. It just kind of seems like it's-

Too easy. He's a gold medal for everything. What about Andres Galarraga, who had a fun name? Yeah. That was a fun name. That's true. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, he beat us at 100 meters.

Then we did it 200. He won again. It's like, yeah, he's the at 100 meters. Then we did it 200. He won again. It's like, yeah, he's the fastest. Yeah. But they're different. You got to keep giving us- 23 is- Honestly, it's like there should be two different rankings.

And it should be like you go to the 100 greatest athletes and you go like, you can't even do that. You got to go into like there's a class that's like Tiger, Phps jordan gretzky you know as you could have lebron like there's there needs to be like all right tom brady you're like we need like uh you're just ranking the top five people like i know but i'm saying that's you can't just throw them in a list and be like it goes michael phelps then it's mark mcguire like they'reuire. They're not. Because they're not. Phelps is, it's on another planet. We need someone to win a swimming gold medal and then a track and field gold medal.

And then gymnastics. Like a Deion Sanders of the Olympics? Exactly. I feel like someone used to be there. They used to be like that. Jim Thorpe? Yeah yeah it's his childhood era i grew up yeah watching cap anson i love cap anson and honus wagner uh david him haver him heimel haver david heimel haver that's a name that is

a name two last names in one is uh the heimel haver family ready they're they're ready boy because there's a bunch of them uh i feel like they're like when they get to the restaurant, their table's never ready. Cartwright? You read names like if I tried to read these without my glasses on. Yeah. Just kind of guesses. The Heimel Havers, are y'all, they get their table ready? You're like, no, we got to do a few things.

You're going to be moving tables together. Pushing tables. You got to push them together. They go, we're going to need we had to call some people in. I worked as an intern at my local radio station was cutting a commercial that had a lot of P words.

The owner of the station accused me of popping my P's. I said, I haven't been eating in here. And they all laughed at me. If only I had Aaron land to teach me plosive, I wouldn't have felt so dumb you know what the word plosive is? no

Aaron, I mean Dusty it sounds like how young kids today would say explosive that's what I thought it was but I didn't want to that volcano, plosive it's like when

somebody says you look says uh when you look right now you look like you put your your hairs attached to your hat yeah it just looks like it comes with it it does it looks like you took it off it'll come yeah like you like you uh had to answer the door real quick and you go hello the cops showed up you don't want anybody to know it's still you you're still bad underneath always in disguise yeah uh carrie looks like underneath yeah yeah yes if he takes his hat off carly carly leg almost said carrie but carly leg speech therapist here how you doing? English has six plosives or stops. P, B, T, D, K, and G. K?

These types of sounds are made by constriction in the vocal tract, which stops airflow. All right. All right. Carly Legg seems like a pretty fun time. Did you know? And those sounds travel faster in warm weather. Oh.

Yeah. Y'all acting like y'all knew that. You didn't know. Yeah. Well, Anna Chernichenko's got something to say about it. Hey, don't. Chernichenko. She was a tennis player, right?

Anna Chernichenko? You've got to stop saying this name. Is that how you say it? We're going to get canceled. No, that's how she says it. Anna Chernichenko. Anna Chernichenko? You got to stop saying this name. Is that how you say it? We're going to get canceled. No, that's how she says it. Anna Chernichenko. That's how she says it. Chernichenko, I bet.

That's Chernichenko. Chernichenko. Anna Kournikova. Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. Anna Kournikova. I was summoned to jury duty in downtown Portland for a six-week trial. On the summons, they recommended we take public transportation to avoid issues with parking

near the courthouse. When I arrived, I was informed the case was for a man who stabbed people on public transportation. I was not selected, but I definitely

did not enjoy the ride back. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. That's tough. You know. Greg Cannon. The best descriptive movie title ever

is The Man Who Killed Hitler and then The Bigfoot. Wow. I don't want to spoil it too much, but at the beginning, a man kills Hitler, and then later, he kills Bigfoot. Wow. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Yeah. I thought... Is this like a popular movie?

It's got... Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott in it. I didn't know. I thought it was just Bigfoot. Ron Livingston. It usually is. Is it The Bigfoot? No.

Or Bigfoot? Well, it depends. Is it Eagles or The Eagles? It's The Hitler and then The Bigfoot. Sounds like Sam Elliott just needed a little money for something. He's like, no, no, I'll do it. and then yeah sounds like Sam Elliott just needed a little money for something yeah nah nah I'll do it but

what was the Greg Gerardo joke you told me no that's Hot Tub Time Machine yeah when yeah he goes up

on the movie Hot Tub Time Machine he goes yeah what's it about this is great he's on Last Comic Standing Greg Gerardo

when he was judging Last Comic Standing when he was judging Last Comic Standing and I'm starts with a C his name that was on Craig Robinson

and he was and he goes I got a new movie coming out it's called Hot Tub Time Machine and Greg Gialdo goes yeah what's that about Jim King Jim King about uh uh jim king jim king i it sounds like a magician

that's the name yeah when you see when you go who's my opener this week and they go jim king you go yeah i guess talked about my dad all weekend uh i hear crowd work being brought up quite often, and it seems for the most part it's something you guys stay away from. Have you ever considered trying to master it or at least work some of it in with your routine the same way MMA fighters train different techniques to better their chances of winning a fight?

Julian? I'll answer for Nate. No. Yeah. I don't. Nate's a striker, and that's all he's gonna do uh i i'm a big fan of weaving things in and out of bits so you don't even know which are bits and which are crowd work but i also like i was just telling them before you got here have gotten pretty much super permanently tired of crowd work so i'll do like i'll riff but i don't like talking to people anymore but yeah yeah you do like the whole

like at the on our shows you do a perfect like hey what's your kind of your kind of where we're at yeah you're acknowledging them you're kind of talking to them but you're not talking to them yeah you're not really asking for responses it's not based on that kind of stuff i i i crowd work is a giant thing in new york city when we were there and i think the guys that did it we did it did it much better than the guy the comics i do it now uh because they did it every night and they would talk to the crowd and there was and they did work on it but i could see that it was a craft that you had to work on that's what that's what i saw and i thought that's such a giant thing to go work on i don't want to it's i it's too it's like it was just too much and so i thought i'll just stay working on my

material i just don't want to harass the audience too i just want the audience to be able to just enjoy themselves without me being like oh where'd you get that shirt good Goodwill? You know, I'm real bad at that. Hey, that's pretty good though. Hold on. Yeah, that's pretty good. I dropped that off last week. Crowdwork is like at its highest level, it's awesome. At its highest level, it's awesome. But anything less than its highest level is super exhausting.

Like improv. Yeah, exactly. Like improv. Or like surgery. But I mean, we can handle stuff I mean I have stuff happen yeah you handle it in your way

I mean I post a video I have fireworks go off at the end of my set yeah that's tougher than crowd work yeah when you have to deal with something you can't even imagine

yeah cause you have to get that guy fired for setting off those fireworks yeah that's tough like there's stuff so you're able to just you know I think we're able to just you know i

think we're able to handle it it's just i don't want to go down the route of doing it you handled that great they went off and you go those fireworks remind me of when my dad yelled at me when he was a clown and then you went into that bit and it was like perfect yeah you know you handle it so perfectly i went i go i had a great joke about saying, like, these fireworks, like, you never know when the grand finale's coming. Yeah. And you're always like, this is it. This, no, this feels like it's, you know, stuff like that. That was irritating.

I remember you wrote a Nate joke in real time. Yeah. And it was good enough that you could have kept it. And that, I remember not liking you for that. Well, it's like when you're on stage, I mean, that's the fun part. You know, it's like, you're just like, you got to trust that you can figure it out. Yeah. You're like, I'll be liking you for that. Well, it's like when you're on stage, I mean, that's the fun part. You know, it's like you're just like you got to trust that you can figure it out. You're like, I'll be okay if something happens. And if I can't, then I'll get out of it or whatever.

But all right. Dusty, you want to tell us about AG1? Yes, I do. It's important to me that the supplements I take are of the highest quality, and that's why for the past two years I've been drinking AG1. Unlike many supplement brands, AG1 is researched and developed by an in-house team of scientists, doctors, and nutritionists with decades of experience in their respective fields. So many people have asked me if AG1 is actually the real deal, and trust me, there's a reason why I've been drinking it for so long.

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I'll be honest with you. I think AG1 might have asked you to hurry that one up. Yeah. I was told to read verbatim. I didn't want to read that out loud, but it's highlighted for me. You're reading time. Well, I got to. That's the show, folks.

You make it entertaining, and then people listen to it, and they go, you know, and maybe you're onto something. I thought it was pretty plosive. I felt. It was plosive. It was effective. I want to drink it. It was a plosive.

I'm a plosive reader. It specifically said. This movie, The Man Who Killed Hitler and then The Bigfoot. I have a theory with a lot of movies now that they're, it's like when you go pitch them, you just got to give them a hook. Like you got to give them that title. And if you give them that title, they're like, yeah, yeah, I'm down.

And then everybody's kind of, because I don't think anybody's really reading scripts or anybody's really, there's so many people that are. The attention span is so low. Well, and I don't think it's for the audience, but I think it's the people that work there. I don't think they,

so you just go give them a title. What if they were just about killing Bigfoot and then they were like, nah, nah, nah, we need a little more. And he was like, all right, all right. What if I kill Hitler too? So Hitler just happens at the beginning, maybe. You just see him do it.

You can, with that title, if you want to pitch something, I really have a theory that you could, you could just go give them that title they're gonna be swept up and love the title you start telling the movie the movie doesn't really matter what you're telling them yeah because they're just like because they they just have to go say those words to their boss that's all they care about they don't care about if it's like in a world and that's in all of them but that's why a lot of stuff gets kind of not great i don't want to nitpick but um bigfoot

and hitler didn't actually they weren't alive at the same time let's go ask dusty which one of those do you think more likely still be alive it's tough to say i mean i like to think that this guy didn't even you know this is not even about. This is just the man who did it. So the whole movie is just following that man around. After he did that stuff. People are always like, did you kill Hitler and Bigfoot? He's like, yeah, I did. Yeah.

Well, they would be around. I was also on Roadhouse. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Bigfoot would still be around. Some people say Hitler's around, you know. He went off to an island. Hitler would be like 130 now or something crazy.

But we talked, when the Bigfoot expert was on the show, I went into it with the misconception that there was a singular Bigfoot. This would make, well, it's because of things like this. Because it says the Bigfoot. I know. I know. But people that are actually into it believe it's like a species that has it. Yeah, yeah.

Common always. That's what I, yeah. I never thought of it as one. I always thought it was a bunch. I thought it was like the Loch Ness Monster, like one thing. But you live and you learn. You grow up. There's multiple big feet out there is what we learned.

Big feet. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess it's possible to live to be 130, though. I mean, that's not really proper, you know. With AG1. AG1, if you walked every day, probably probably uh he was uh he had a real math problem yeah probably so yeah you know we talked about it at uh barnes and noble i didn't buy it but uh no you saw a video i looked at it no no i didn't read them no you saw i didn't read the there was a video there was a video that just went around of like in color. No.

I've seen a video of him shaking at the Olympics. His speeches, he seems sped up. He seems ready to go. I saw the book. So the book's called, Hey, He's a Pretty Big Man. Hey, he's the same guy who made that movie. He has a pretty big drug problem. You're like, well, I don't even need to read the book now. That's the man who had a pretty big drug problem.

Yeah. It wasn't that. No, that's real. Blitz. This was it. That's real had a pretty big drug problem and was in that. No, that's real. Blitz. This was at Drugs in the Third Reich called Blitz. Yeah, that's real. So from that title, you go, he had a pretty big. I read the dust cover.

Between that and the video you saw. That's for your information. Look, it was a little confirmation bias because I knew about this before I saw the book. But I thought, hey, somebody wrote a book about this. It must be real. Imagine being like his dealer. He had a doctor. He had a personal doctor.

Like Elvis. He had a doctor, and he would – You're like, we cool guys, Hitler's coming over. This guy's a little unhinged. This guy always hangs around too long. He goes, no, I'm hard, dude. He goes, I ain't scared of nobody. He goes, look, you are.

In the streets, people are so scared of you. This is different. I promise you this is different. And he's like, I've killed somebody. And they're like, all right, look. This guy, it's funny also to think of him at a doctor's office in the waiting room. You feel like you're waiting. Yeah.

Hitler comes in and just sits and reads a magazine while he's waiting to see his doctor. Yeah, the nurse is like, Hitler, your room is ready. Hitler. He puts down better housekeeping. Yeah. Adolf yeah my favorite fact about that

is that he used to wake up at 11 a.m. nice Hitler used to wake up at 11 wow didn't it seem like he was like an early

riser I would think if you're at war you gotta get up no he was he was so blitzed all the time that he would get up

like all bleary and hung over at 11 and then he would have to get the shot from his doctor and then he'd be methed out for the rest of the day yeah aaron isn't it correct that the first broadcast signal to reach outer space was hitler addressing the olympics oh i had no idea is that real yeah i think uh the first signal that was powerful enough to leave our atmosphere was hitler addressing the start of the games in Germany. Must have been a pretty warm day.

Yeah. Where did it go? It goes into outer space and it's still going. So the first aliens... What are we even doing? That's the first message they'll get. The aliens will be from us, will be Hitler. But we're never going to know if they heard it already.

Well, they show back up and tell us that they got the message. And they go, hey, y'all got to get rid of this guy. And you're like, what? We're like,

we don't want to talk about it. In the movie Contact, that's what they sent back was that message. That you got to get rid of him? No, they sent back to us what we sent to them,

which was Hitler addressing the games, opening of the Olympic Games. But what did he say? I mean, I imagine this was just uh so here we go let's go message right yeah i don't know that he was like yeah anything bad gentlemen start your yeah at this point i think everybody still like thought he was like gonna be a great guy yeah

he's gonna be just a cool dude writes poetry something didn. Something. Didn't he paint? Yeah, he's a painter. Yeah. Well, it's been a while since we've talked about a state. It's been a while. People love him. And Julian, you're a perfect guest for this

because this week we're talking about New Jersey. Oh, really? Yeah. I spun the wheel and I won, huh? Yeah. New Jersey.

You guys just got back from what, Atlantic City? Atlantic City. Yeah, but that's, I'm from South Jersey, the Philly area. It's very important it's like two different countries north jersey and south yeah adrian was telling me are you comfortable

or happy with the way new jersey's talked about in the rest of the country uh do you like it is it a point of pride i've i don't or do you not care does it still get talked about the way it whenever in the 90s it was like constantly being bashed it was like i think florida kind of took over florida did become the go-to yeah easy joke to make but new jersey still has a reputation i think you have a chip on your shoulder in jersey oh yeah yeah i think the thing i don't mind the jersey uh reputation because it's actually really nice there and it's kind of like a good cover it's like the garden state yeah it's like uh i follow a lot of gardening channels people are shocked when they go there and they go oh it's like really nice here yeah like literally like iceland

that's what that's on the license plate it says it's like iceland uh no i've i've never been to iceland but um that – They named it Iceland to deter people from going. Yeah. Oh, like that. In Greenland. I thought you meant like are the people the same. I'm like, I don't know. What are the people in Iceland like?

That is what I meant actually. Are they sarcastic? Yeah. Yes. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where it comes from. No, really what it is is if we're going to get real about it, North Jersey is who gets the reputation because North Jersey people are very much the New York, hey, I'm walking here kind of people.

And that's the kind of attitude that people are referring to when they talk about Jersey. Jersey Shore. Or, yeah, a little bit Jersey Shore. The show I'm talking about. Yeah. But those people don't live at the Jersey Shore. They're from the place I'm talking about, and they go to the Jersey Shore, and that's who those people are. What?

Yeah, except for the situation is from Staten Island. That doesn't even count. But South Jersey is very different kind of mean. North Jersey is very in-your-face Sopranos type, right? South Jersey is Philly, which is much more like cutting and sarcastic and like uh you know it's also not friendly but it's uh it's not what i think we get the reputation from reputations from the loud brash north jersey you know that thing um and i'm from south jersey where it's like you are made to doubt everything about yourself the whole time you're

like all day long like going to go to middle school in new jersey is probably the worst experience you can have as a as a person besides uh like all that hitler stuff we were talking about but uh yeah yeah it's the most densely populated state in the U.S. Yeah. The New Jersey Turnpike is the most traveled. Sorry if that was your next fact. It's the most traveled highway in, I don't want to say the world, but I know it's in the United States. It's the most used highway, the Turnpike. It also has a ton of rural areas that are really pretty, so it's kind of weird, but

it is, yeah, it's very densely populated. Because Philadelphia is to the south and New York City is to the north. Yeah, there's like no break from, but there's also a lot of farms. Like we had a kid in our high school that had a, lived on a dairy farm.

Yeah. It's pretty crazy. There's a guy I follow named James Prigioni. He has a food forest. He has a whole gardening channel out of New Jersey. I bet it's North Jersey.

It's so great. I have no idea. With that name. No, I heard two different reasons why I didn't hear, I looked Jersey. I bet it's North Jersey. It's so great. I have no idea. With that name. Now, I heard two different reasons why, I didn't hear, I looked it up, why it's called- He seems like a very nice guy. The Garden State.

What's that? What are the reasons? The movie? Yeah. Well, there's a movie. One is because there's a lot of farmland, especially there was back in the 18th century when they first called it the Garden State.

The other one is because it's like a garden. It's got Philly to the south, New York to the north, and it's got a lot to offer. Oh, like we're the garden of – I don't like that. You're the garden of Philly and New York? How about we're our own thing? Yeah, that's why. It's an immense barrel filled with good things to eat

and open at both ends, which I don't even know. That sounds like – I don't like any of this. This is sounds. This should be called the barrel state. Yeah, that's more New York and Philly. That's what they're like. No, Jersey's where we let our dogs use the bathroom. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Yeah. It feels like disrespect, to be honest. If you could pick to be from New York or New Jersey, what do you think you would pick? New York City or up anywhere in New York? No, New York City.

I'm saying New York City or New Jersey. You'd be Hoboken right outside. You got New Jersey or New York City. You want to walk around and say what you are. New York City. I would go New Jersey. New York City. New York City. I'd go New York City. You want to walk around and say what you are. New York City. I would go New Jersey. New York City. New York City. I'd go New York City.

I think I would like New Jersey, too. You want a little... I want to be a little different. You want to be a little different. You want to be like a little bit of a edge. Like a little bit of chip... Not edge, but chip on your shoulder. I think that's for the better. I think you have the least chance of being...

Now, I think both of them look down on all of us. So, but it's... You don't want to ask people from New Jersey what they think of the rest of the country. Yeah. That's not. But we also... What would they say?

Who you doing? It's one of those... Come on. I'm sitting right here. I thought that was Julian over there. My wife, Meg always says, like, when I get upset, it comes out. Like, the tri-state accent starts coming out, and I get, yeah. What's the third state?

It's New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah. uh it's new york huh new york new jersey and uh pennsylvania pennsylvania oh yeah oh yeah yeah i'm from the tri-state area that's what a lot of people people say that yeah we do shows i mean my beginning of our career was all tri-state yeah comedy it's all that attitude very very similar like confrontational like you know uh a lot of sarcasm also the difference also is new york is like north jersey is very like confident and like we're the best and you're and like you know get out of my way south jersey is very like we're the worst and you can never make fun of us better than we can make fun of us so it's like we're proud of being crap is like our attitude and uh so and you're not so great and that's kind of like we know what

we are but you're not good you're not better than us philly's whole thing is you're not better than me that's like the whole thing that's why they don't like when things go right because they don't feel comfortable winning because they're like now you know it's uncomfortable to win we rather be like you think you're better than me but you're not and then when we win we're like uh you know it's uncomfortable to win we rather be like you think you're better than me but you're not and then when we win we're like uh you know so we don't how much did you go into philly all the time yeah i mean where i grew up was like literally 15 minutes from philly it's just over the bridge i i live and right between my town and philly was camden which is like the i've heard of camden yeah it was the murder capital of uh america for a long time it's not talked about favorably but yeah it's tiny it's a tiny tiny

town and it had like they're putting in tons of they really yeah they were cleaning it up themselves getting after it they don't want that kind of population boom that we used to see has yeah yeah uh we used to drive into camden to get like you know beer and stuff when we were underage because they they had other things they were worried about. Yeah. So, they didn't, like, card kids for alcohol. Yeah. What does, does Philly look down on New Jersey?

Does Philly have any ounce of, like, your New Jersey? Superiority? Yeah. Or is it, like, they kind of blend it? Because to me, it really does feel like it'd be, they don't really care. Like, Philly probably feels like we're Jersey, basically. Like, you're all just— Yeah, I would say it's not significant.

It's not New York. It's not significant. It's not like how New York looks at Jersey. Yeah. But—and Philly's got the same chip about New York. Yeah. So, it's like—it's all one big toxic family, you know? But, no, Philly—I don't get the impression that they're – if you're like hardcore South Philly, there are certain parts of Philly where those families have been there for so many generations.

They've kept the same house. South Philly is amazing because it's like these row houses and every family has been there for like eight generations you know they've had the house forever they have parking spots like you can't just park in south jerry it looks like a normal street but it's if you're in south philly and you park that's not an open spot that's they're not home right now and they're coming back and that's their spot and if you park there like people will come out and be like what are you doing why are you parking what are you doing? Why are you parking? What are you doing?

Again, Julia, did you move? Oh, yeah. It's two of you. It's so good. Pal, what are you doing? What are you doing? You know, you left the S. There's an S.

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? So you can't park there? I'm trying to eat a hoagie. Hoagie. You want to make me a wah-wah? They double park. They'll double park in the middle of the street because there's not enough parking spots.

And you just know everybody's car. So you just go, oh, that's John's car. I got to go knock on his door and tell him to move his car so I can get my car out. That's the kind of neighborhood it is. I like that. But I mean, if you're just a- And those people look down on you. Like, you can't say you're from Ph. I like that. Yeah. But I mean, if you're just a- And those people look down on you. Like,

you can't say you're from Philly to those people. Yeah. But like, you know, regular Philly people or like more recent Philly people, they don't care.

The, so like you, yeah, like, so a person driving around might be like, go to, like,

meet him at my house and you park up just in an open spot. And it's like, something's going to happen to your car or they're going to come knock on the door. Where do you park?

Huh? I mean, what do you do? Yeah, that's the whole thing. You don't park. Where do you park? You can't park. You can't go figure it out. You can't park.

Not here. You got to go to, like, there's a Vietnamese enclave right near South Philly. You got to go park over there and then walk back. Enclave is a funny word. And I had to go park over there and then walk back. Enclave. That's a funny word. I had to do that in high school and that was my Vietnam. It's the only state where you can't pump your own gas.

Yeah. Meg gets so weird out by that. We were just in Jersey last week and she got out of the car and I was like, you can't get out of the car. They get mad. They don't like it yeah what's the reason i support it i wish all i wish everywhere did it is it because they think then you gotta tip them flammable liquid well the weird thing is growing up learning how to drive in new jersey and then going this happens to every new jersey person yeah you grow up you learn how to drive in new jersey and then the first time you

go to another state you just sit in your car at the gas pump for like 10 minutes and you're like these people are so slow yeah yeah and then you've got to realize oh i'm supposed to do this you're like i don't know how to do this i never got trained to work at the gas station you know you like think it's it's scary the first time crazy i don't know why it's like that i honestly never looked it up i don't know no i think it seems crazy that they just trust us with the flammable liquid just to do it ourself. Yeah, I think you're right. I think 49 states are wrong. And Jersey has it right.

Yeah. I agree with you. Yeah, I mean, I don't think they're wrong to trust me with it. But I would appreciate it. It's nice. I would appreciate it. It is nice. When you go to New Jersey and get your gas, you're always like, yeah, this is pretty fun. This is where it should be.

Yeah, yeah. You just get to sit there and they do it. It's like Mayberry. Do you just hand them your credit card? You can pay that way. They also accept cash and some contactless payments. But do they put it in the pump themselves? Yeah.

They take your card. They take your card. They run your card and then they give it back to you. And they also make a copy of your card when you're not looking and then they give it back to you. And they also make a copy of your card when you're not looking, and then they give it back to you. What's your zip code? Wawa, big, big improvement was when Wawa started having gas stations. There's two times in New Jersey history. There's before Wawa.

You said when Wawa started having gas stations. Before they were they were just like a 7-eleven they just had water okay just water that's what they called it but sandwiches when did they get the gas stations probably like early 2000s i think yeah mid 2000s oh yeah recently yeah recently so you could still go in and get your sandwiches yeah well there's still Wawa's Wawa was like I mean I remember Jay it was like it would be like going to Bucky's I'm seriously

I'm not just saying this for the podcast I'm seriously getting a Wawa tattoo next week it's a crane it's a bird logo what face did he make when I said that? I wasn't looking at him. It's ridiculous.

Hey, I'm not getting it somewhere. I'm getting it on my neck. Because you love Wawa that much? I love Wawa. I just feel, you know, certain businesses, yours is probably like plant poison or something. Like the pesticides pesticides you walk in be a herbicide herbicide this is like DuPont

yeah it's like whatever's on a NASCAR and you just feel like super you just can breathe you're just like I'm home this feels great I know where everything is I know what I can get I'm excited but I'm like that's how I feel holding a can of weed killer. I'm home.

I'm excited. I can do whatever. I'm about to get a weed killer tattoo, matter of fact. What's that going to look like? It's going to be just a can of weed killer, me spraying a weed. And then I'll have a before and after. And then it'll be just an after of the dead weed. Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. So it's going gonna be like panel yeah okay comic strip that's cool oh yeah you gotta flip dusty real fast yeah yeah uh they banned plastic bags in new jersey do you know that i didn't know that yeah i don't like it 2022 you can't love a plastic bag yeah they're so versatile did you know Newark was the car theft capital of the world? New York? Newark.

Oh, Newark. At one time? No, but my car got stolen when I was at Rutgers. And I got a ticket a week later with a picture of my car going through a toll into Newark. And so it was like they sent me like, hey, look, this guy took your car. Here he is driving your car into newark um and so it was like they sent me like hey look this guy took your car here he is driving your car into newark it was pretty funny because he didn't pay the toll so i got the ticket for him that's very funny did you have to pay the ticket i did not have to pay the ticket yeah but i took the ticket to the police station they were like yeah this isn't this isn't we can't catch the guy yeah because a week ago he went through a toll

so that car just gone oh yeah it was way gone yeah it was I love that they just laugh at you like you want us to do an investigation

that is that is not an exaggeration yeah the cops will laugh at you in New Jersey they'll laugh at you a lot of places yeah yeah I guess so

it's more of a it's more of an American thing yeah did you guys say down the shore yes I didn't even know that was bad like until it's not bad but it's not yeah down the shore yeah and what would that mean the beat i guess you guys say the beach or whatever but it's the beach we're going to the beach we don't say we're going to the beach so going down the shore i'm going down the shore. Even if you're going up? Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's more like an attitude. You're going down the shore. It's more like. Going down. Dude. He just wants to do it. I love. This guy's the best.

Why is it so fun that you want to be from New Jersey? I love it. What time is it? I have to leave. I'm hosting the 630 show at the other room. It's good to see you, man. Yeah, absolutely. I hope I get to time is it? I have to leave. I'm hosting the 6.30 show at the other room. It's good to see you, man. Yeah, absolutely. I hope I get to see you.

I mean, I'll see you in a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. That's a good Jersey accent, by the way. Aaron, who's the... It's not really from Jersey. It's like... It's the attitude. Yeah, it's great.

Who's the most famous person from New Jersey? Bruce Springsteen. Whitney Houston. Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. Oh, okay. I thought Bruce Springsteen would be theston frank tanatra frank tanatra oh okay i thought bruce springsteen would be the obvious answer no i think frank i don't know that everybody knows he's i

think he's from hoboken well i know he is but i'm saying if you're not from there i think anybody but is he the most famous now i mean you might say 20 years ago everybody but it's like yeah it might be snooki no or is that yeah like honestly like you asked uh an age it changes over time but i think historically the most famous person from new jersey is probably frank sinatra and then it would be bruce springsteen i guess and then bon jovi yeah oh bon jovi yeah uh i love bon jovi yeah i can't stand bon jovi. I can't stand Bon Jovi. Really? I can't stand him. Never could. Yeah.

Living on a prayer, man. Yeah, I liked that song a lot when it came out. I'm not going to say, but that's different than The Man. You know what I mean? That's the song. Yeah, I don't want to be his buddy. No. No, but I like his music.

And then, yeah, Whitney Houston's from Newark. Okay. Yeah. Evan Costello from New Jersey. Oh, wow. I then, yeah, Whitney Houston's from Newark. Okay. Yeah. Evan Costello from New Jersey. Oh, wow. I mean, that's going. I didn't even know we had New Jersey back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, let me bring it back for you. Bruce Willis, John Travolta. Oh, I forgot. Wow. Bruce Willis is a good one. John Travolta. I forgot about that. I love John Travolta.

Yeah, I know. He's a huge John Travolta. I just watched Pulp Fiction last night. Yeah, they don't like each other very much in that movie. Not in that movie, no. They're kind of enemies because he, yeah. He keys his car. Well, I was going to, I'm sorry, Aaron, you're not here for this.

Hoboken is the birthplace of baseball. I didn't know that. Yep, very first baseball game. Every time I hear Hoboken, I just hear Hoboken. Like from Street Fighter. Hoboken. Like every time in my head, that's, you know how you get like a twitch like that? I remember going to Hoboken to do a show for the first time.

And I was like, I couldn't believe, like I was like, it was just like crazy to me to go to Hoboken. What was crazy? Just the idea. Just like the idea of it. The idea of it. It was like, hey, I got a show in Hoboken. Because it seems so far. Well, yeah, because I think it'd probably be like Europe

and where they talk about going to another state. Or another country. Another country, like it's nothing. Right, yeah. So it's like the idea that you're like, all right, I just started a show in Hoboken, and you're like, it's another state. Yeah, I know what you mean. It just, you know, it's like hard to wrap your head around

that you're just going to go to another state and then come right back that night. When I would come, sorry, stay with you in New York, I stayed with my friends who lived in Hoboken. And the first time I went, I felt misled because they gave me their, I'm like, no, I'm going to New York. I'm not going to. And then I get to their place and you could literally see the skyline from their window. It's one train stop. Yeah. It's closer than my house.

You think that's where the term hobo comes from? Hoboken? Hoboken's like a nice area though. But maybe back in the day. Maybe back in the day. I don't know that either. Because you're like on the East Coast. Maybe you're working.

I don't know where hobo comes from. Is Artie from New Jersey? Artie Lane? Oh, yeah. Yeah, right? And so he's from hobo yeah super new jersey yeah yeah first college football game was in new jersey right was that rutgers rutgers yeah against college of new jersey is that where where is that where the stress factory is at is where yeah yeah because i was there ohio state was playing rutgers when i was there and it was

oh really i think so it was uh we weren't playing playing Rutgers when I was there, and it was – Oh, really? I think so. That was a big one. It was – We weren't playing Ohio State when I went to college. Oh, okay. Like, it was not even close to Rutgers. I mean, I think so. There was a bunch of people in the restaurant I was in doing the OHIO.

Oh, no. I'm sure they're doing it now. I'm just saying, like, the football program exploded after I left. Mm-hmm. But, yeah. New Brunswick's weird. New Brunswick's not north or south. New Brunswick's central,

which is like, we have no idea what those people are. I don't know what that personality is. I don't know. It's like- Like Princeton and where's Princeton? Yeah, like Princeton's closer to South Jersey, but it's like, yeah, like Princeton, New Brunswick. I could, I don't even know which towns they are.

Like, I don't even know what to call them. How long of a drive is it from South Jersey all the way through the state? To New York City? Yeah. I just did it. Like 2.20. Okay. Two hours, 20 minutes.

Yeah. Do you know the capital? It's Seven Wawa's. Seven Wawa's. Yeah. I feel like this would be one of the toughest ones to name the capital i mean i assume you know oh i know but what could uh i would not have gotten this new jersey capital i don't know if i know jersey city it's i'll give you the logo i'll give you the slogan

for the town and then okay uh it's the town makes the world takes the town makes, the world takes. The town makes, the world takes? Yeah, the name of the town makes because it used to be a manufacturing hub. So they used to make everything and then the world would take it. Port City, I'm just guessing. Yeah, I don't know. I made that up. You're right. It's Port City, New Jersey.

Nailed it. Trenton. Trenton. Oh, Trenton. Trentonrenton makes the world takes port city doesn't sound so bad though no it was a good guess is there one specific it's a made-up city yeah what is it a completely made-up city no i think they made a lot of yeah it doesn't sound bad but it is a major yeah was trenton known for making something here ion Oyster Crackers. I don't think it was just Oyster Crackers. No, they used to make like steel, all this stuff. They used to make like so much stuff.

I don't know what they were famous for. But Trenton is a nightmare. All right, so there's one major league sports team that knew Jersey in the title. One major league sports team? The Devils. Yeah. The Devils. Yeah.

Do you know how they got their name, the Devils? The Jersey Devil. So you know it they got their name, the Devils? The Jersey Devil. So you know it's well-known, the Jersey Devil? Yeah, it's like the Bigfoot of New Jersey, but it's scarier. Yeah. Do you know about this, Dusty? No. You don't know about the Jersey Devil?

No, I never heard this. I'm really into it, though. It's a fictional... Is it fictional? I suppose it is. Creature. A lot of people have seen it. Okay, sorry.

I forgot where I'm at. It's a thing that's probably real. It's like a creature in the Pine Barrens. I'm doing it. I'm sorry. Sorry. In the Pine Barrens. It's like, I think it's supposed to be reminiscent of like a large, this is how I always pictured it.

I don't know. Like a large wolverine like a you know like wolverines are smaller than you think they're gonna be it's like uh i picture like a big dog but a wolverine and it's like that kind of creature is my does it do they describe it or what it's supposed to be yeah i think i saw yeah yeah i think that's right what kind of description do you have well i don't have a description aaron can you pull it up Well, I don't have a description. Aaron, can you pull it up?

Like he. Ben's gone. But I think. What do you use? Jersey's version of Bigfoot. Yeah. Like a big dog. Like a big wolverine, but like a dog.

Mm-hmm. And it's supposedly like aggressive. It's not like Bigfoot where you're like, you can't ever get a picture of it. It's like, it's coming for you. So that's why you don't go into the Pine Barrens. And it's been seen for centuries and enough to where they named their team after it pine barrens if you don't remember is where they got lost in the sopranos for that whole episode when they were oh wait when remember when paulie and uh uh what's his name yeah uh michael and

plurio they killed they killed a guy out there, but then they can't find their way back out. Christopher. Christopher. Yeah. We don't know if they killed that guy. No, it's... Is that where they killed Adrian, too?

Do they always go out to those trees? I'm annoyed. I haven't watched it in a while. I don't remember. I don't think they took her to the Pine Barrens. It was out in the country, though. Yeah. Christopher.

Polly and Christopher. Yeah, that's right. You're right. So then, yeah, they got lost in the Pine Barrens yeah and it's uh that's that's close to down the shore the pine barrens are like before you get to the water there's like a whole area of like low trees and like sand bottom floor and it's uh goes forever and you don't want to get caught out there because it's like it's so disorienting there's no um there's no way to tell which way you're going it's very weird it's all uniform looks the same yeah that's how the

woods are yeah it's scary it's like if the woods grew in a desert that's what it looks like yeah it's like you gotta like follow the sun or like walk you always want to walk that's why you have if you have a compass that'll help you guys call'll help. You guys call it a compass? What do you say? How do you say it? I don't say that. Yeah. What do you say? Compass makes me, like, uncomfortable when you said that. What do you say?

Compass. Compass. Okay, I say compass. Compass. I said compass. Yeah. But you can choose to, like, fix it. Yeah, but I don't think I'm wrong, though.

Is this what it's like? This is what it's like. Yeah, yeah. But the, you always, that's why you have that. Sounds like you could use some direction. That's,

yeah. Cause you always want to walk in, you know, you want to stay walking in one direction. Cause you get turned around and you're like, oh, now I want to go this way. And you just keep walking yourself in a circle.

Yeah. Never get out of there. So you just see the sun and you just make sure you're going. Yeah. What about at night? Well, tough for a night. Hopefully you climb a tree and can sleep up there on a branch. They got a breed of biting fly out there in the Pine Barrens that is so painful. It's like a fly that's like this big. And when it bites you, it feels like you got bit by an animal. It's crazy. Oh,'re in the they live in the sand and so if like you get you get start getting nailed by those it's like get me out of here but then you're

like where do i go it's like it's you don't get out of your car it's crazy you can oh so they have the thing you drive through it it's the road there's one road there's to the thing and you're the pine barrens on either side and there's nothing for a long time like you run out of gas so it's sand it's sand on the ground and then like trees that are so there's soil under there somewhere but the top level is like sandy wow yeah yeah that's pretty so it's like hard to walk because it's like you can't get a grip it's it's terrible and that's where the jersey devil lives and he's apparently good at hockey or something but i want to ask you about some foods from new jersey please pork roll oh i love it some people call it taylor ham yeah we call in philly it's pork roll the philly area but up north is taylor ham taylor ham and it's uh

yeah it's just like uh it's a lot it comes in a log like a huge sausage and then you cut slices put it with eggs and cheese and and it's a breakfast sandwich. Pork roll egg and cheese with ketchup. Very salty. Very salty, but then you also get salt, pepper, ketchup on it, and it's like the best breakfast sandwich you'll ever have. It's incredible. Sounds good. Yeah.

It's like so bad for you. It's all we ate in college, and we had hearts of hearts of like 50 year old men by sophomore year yeah yeah uh the trenton tomato pies you know i don't know what that is yeah it's probably more very specific saltwater taffy yeah saltwater taffy is like an atlantic city thing uh you get it down the shore i do you like saltwater taffy uh i don't i think it's kind of weird yeah i don't. I think it's kind of weird. Yeah. I don't love it. I only know Laffy Taffy. You remember that? Yeah.

Yeah. That was good. It's still around. I'll tell you something. Laffy Taffy is great. Is that not what saltwater taffy is? No, it's very different. It's like more airy and like lighter.

I don't know. There's a food you probably didn't find that's a fun one. All right. Because I don't think it's on the internet much. But at Rucker's, it's a local thing all right because i don't think it's in on the internet much but at ruckers it's a local thing it's they're called fat sandwiches and it was like it's a hoagie but like a long roll but they would put it was the first place to put like chicken fingers french fries tomato sauce cheese and mayonnaise that's like a fat that's like called a fat sal. And then you do like, there's gyro meat, cheese fries, gyro sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mozzarella sticks. And that's a fat Elvis.

And it's like, so it's like, they have like 19 different ones. They're called fat sandwiches. And they're like, that's a very New Jersey thing to do. I like a fat sandwich. I'm into a sandwich with some fries. Can you imagine drinking until two and then like these trucks sell these things it's like yeah it's unreal i would like it during the day yeah they would go and they would yell the guys are great they're all middle eastern guys who are like hey buddy get over here hey buddy you know and so they would they cat call you they

see you walking down they go hey maybe you get a fat sow you know and you're like i think i will have a fat sow yeah so it's like it's tough to avoid we already mentioned sopranos i was going to mention tv shows sitting sopranos and breaking bad are probably my two top two shows yeah breaking bad's not in new jersey i know that but i let me do you like sopranos or are you too close to home to i love the sopranos i think it's like top two shows what's what i'm breaking bad yeah i like to break about from new jersey though yeah yeah it's a different version uh yeah i love the movie is that set in new jersey you would think with that i watched that and i think i got bored which one beyond the pond i think that's in upstate new york i need to probably watch it again i think what is it i liked it it's yeah it's a show it's

almost like two different movie yeah it's kind of crazy the ryan gosling one yeah oh i love that movie yeah yeah i need to re-watch it again because i think i watched it with not prepared that something and then you're like what yeah yeah i think it's pretty deep yeah it's pretty deep yeah it's crazy it's really good though Yeah. It's pretty deep. Yeah. It's crazy. It's really good though. I just, that made me think of that.

The first hour's more action than the second hour. With the pines of New Jersey. Yeah. I thought that too. There's got to be a movie about these pines. I never heard of this.

The Pine Barrens? Pines growing up out of sand. I never heard of this. That's why it's called the Pine Barrens. I'm very into this now. Yeah. It's a crazy spot, man.

And they're there and the Sopranos, they get lost there in the winter in the snow. And it's called the pine barrens i'm very into this now yeah it's a it's a crazy spot man and and they're there and the sopranos they get lost there in the winter in the snow and it's like i can't imagine it's if you know that area you're like these guys aren't gonna make it it's it's crazy it's crazy that you can be so near cities and then you go to this area that like you could literally die in in a in because it's so desolate and hard to find your way out um that's that close to but i guess if you're living like phoenix you're used to that because you could go out there in the desert and die immediately also yeah but people don't think of jersey as having that but it does i think that's one of the most talked about episodes because it's not clear it's considered

like the but i think it's the one that won the emmy or whatever but that russian's not 100 sure that he died what do you mean he escaped from them oh right yeah they shot at him right and then when tony finally picks him up like is he dead and he's like yeah you're like yeah but you never know for sure well they don't realize how tough russians are you can a shot russian can get out of there better but he never comes back and play he never does but it's one of those open-ended ones like is he ever going to come back yeah no he's the one that kills him in the diner at the end. Sorry.

I didn't mean to. Yeah. No, I love The Sopranos. Boardwalk Empire? Love Boardwalk. I always say Boardwalk Empire is my favorite most boring show of all time. Yeah. The pacing is so bad. It's so slow. That's what these shows are now.

It's like, if you would just make it a movie then you wouldn't need to draw it out but i've i've watched borderlock empire all the way through three times and i i know vicky's that good the third time i watched it i forgot it'd been so long i forgot nick was in it yeah and then i watched it and this is just how we know we live in a simulation i watched it and then the next day i was on tour and Nick was on the show and I was like starstruck for a second I was like oh my god

you know because you're in the show I'm binging right now I can't believe I can touch him you know what I mean he's like it was crazy

he doesn't like you touching him he doesn't yeah some movies from there Garden State we already referenced you like Garden State

oh you hate it I like that movie. Who was in that? What was that movie? Zach Braff, Natalie Portman. Yeah, you know,

I had not watched it in a long time. I think now I've watched it. A Scars guard was in it. It was being very melodramatic, I think, because Zach Braff is pretty...

It's just so cringey. It's like, I can't imagine something you would like less because it's like saying your feelings out loud to people in conversation over and over again. Yeah. And it's like saying your feelings out loud to people in

conversation over and over again yeah and it's like it would be your worst nightmare i like i think the poster and stuff would i remember they did the advertising was really good for it and then yeah but it's a movie where you just gotta listen to them tell each other like i fell for it the first time i saw it i was like this amazing this is an amazing movie. So I shouldn't watch it again. Go for it. Because I did like it. Yeah. But I feel like sometimes you go back and you go, I was at a different emotional place.

Oh, you got to listen to someone whine. They're going to be whining about, is it like John Cusack movies? Yeah. Let's be careful. Yeah. Is he from New Jersey? No, but I just love his movies.

Yeah, I like his movies too, but it's like where it's, but it's like so much talking. Like High Fidelity is a great movie, but he's crying the whole time. Yeah, he's like, but you don't even understand the blah, blah, blah. And you're like, now you watch it, you're like, oh my gosh. Look, 2012, it was unbelievable. I thought it was great in 2012.

But I think you just change as you get older. You go like, I can't listen to... It's a younger person that thinks... You see a kid now. Their world is falling apart and you're like... You know that you're watching a kid go, you're never going to even remember this part of your life. Exactly.

But it's the most important part of your life. And that's what those movies kind of feel like. Yep. And so they're playing to just that group. But some of those movies do it in a way that you can watch it when you're older and it's still good. And some of them do it in a way where you're like, I can't even get into this. I got to watch it now.

Yeah. I just got to see it. I wonder if, do people watch that, what's the vampire movie or the- Twilight? Yeah. Do people go back and watch those? Because those were so specific at a time. I think there's a extreme cringe level to those movies now that is very talked about online.

That people kind of... They either revisit it or young people watch them now because somebody told them to. the way they make fun of those movies is like it's brutal yeah it does not hold up yeah it's great because those were those were the biggest movies in the world yeah it's huge i took a nap so it was time square you remember in new york you'd get stuck in new york somewhere and you're like you're so tired or whatever you have to use the bathroom you can't go home it'd take you forever to get home or whatever. So, I remember I was work. I did some TV show thing.

And then I was like, I had to kill four hours. I'm in Times Square and I needed to take a nap. So, I just went to a movie theater in Times Square. And I was like, I'll just take whatever movie's open. So, I go in and I sit down and I go to fall asleep in the front row. It was empty when I got there. And then I was really early. And then I wake up and the theater is packed i mean it is sold out and i'm like what's going on and i look around me

and it's just totally packed and i'm and it's twilight but i don't know what twilight is i have no idea what's going on yeah all i know is these people are acting so weird on them and they're laughing at things that i don't get are funny yeah because they're laughing from the book you know what i mean and stuff like that anyway it's so funny then the lights came on and everyone was a 16 year old girl and i was like the only guy in there because i because i went in there for a nap and woke up in the middle of twilight that was a good sleep it was a good sleep well you don't hear people loading in no that that's a i was like 16 year old girls i didn't get into the details of how bad i needed to sleep but yeah yeah yeah yeah you weren't in there i was just saying those parents would not

have wanted you around all those kids at that point they were too young to breathe the air i was breathing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we probably need to wrap it up yeah you got a show about to start here yeah yeah i think we should uh yeah but because yeah because yeah because we're in i feel like you're just asking joyce what's uh what kind of food y'all eat over here i think that's important huh i think that's important i did go to uh high school in new jersey and then my mom moved to tennessee and so i used to come here in the summers to like hendersonville and nashville in the early 90s. Yeah, it's crazy. And then...

Did you live in California for a while? I connected to both of these states. I did when I was like a child child when I was really young because it was high school.

Daniel LaRusso was from New Jersey and then he moved to California. We talk about it all the time. Yeah, similar experience. Same path.

Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for having me, guys. Yeah. Yeah, we can wrap up. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for having me guys. Yeah. Uh, yeah, we were about, uh,

yeah. I'd like to say though, that I'll be in Kansas city this weekend. No, we're good to do that. Yeah. I didn't know what you guys had going on here. So where are you?

Well, I'm in Kansas city, uh, at the funny bone used to be the improv. Now the funny bone, I sold out three shows and then we, and then we added a show. So now we need to, you need to sell tickets to that show.

Oh, it will. So I'm pumped. Never sold this many tickets in Kansas City. Very exciting. Pumped about it. That's great. Julia? Oh, I'm going to be on Fallon.

Oh, yeah. I'm doing the Tonight Show. All right. On August 20th, which is soon. Soon. I better get a set. Yeah. That's what you better do tonight. August 20th, which is soon. I better get a set. Yeah. That's what you better do tonight. August 20th.

Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to talk about it yet. I don't. I think it's fine. We'll see. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. It's so close now, it's not going to change.

Yeah. And if, yeah, we think tentatively right now it's August 20th. Yeah. And if it doesn't happen, then just don't tell Fallon. I'll get in trouble for it, too 20th. Yeah. And if it doesn't happen, then just don't tell Fallon. I'll get in trouble for it too because I know because I talked to Mike Cox. So anyway,

and I won't say who the other guest is, but it's a pretty fun, exciting big guest who's on the show. It's Tony Hawk. You're like, I don't know if I should talk about it,

but now you're like, let me give some more details. Now you're doing too much. I know. I don't know, but it's taped near Fallon's house. It rhymes with Samuel Namrusso. Yeah. So yeah, I'll be on Fallon's house. It rhymes with Samuel Namrusso.

I'll be on Fallon on August 20th and I'll be opening for Nate on tour. We'll be Foxwoods. This weekend I'm in the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Canada and then we got the Moline, Illinois. Fargo.

Look at us. Look at us. A Michigan. A Michigan. A Michigan. And a Minneapolis State Fair. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. I am off this weekend. Ruth is here. Could not be working. Get the opposite of Dusty because Dusty always says he could be working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you go, I'm off this weekend could not find anything looking for a book well yeah yeah kind of stepping on my joke

but I won't I have none but Ruth will be here this weekend at Zany's at Lucy's baby shower so she wanted me to promote her date oh

yeah I won't be here but Ruth will but August 14th I'll be here at the lab at Zany's for the Brian Bates and Friends show

few tickets left for that August 24th in Atlanta at Vision Studios and August 29th through 31st St. Louis at the uh Funny Bone St. Charles Funny Bone yeah I was just there yeah great room yeah all right well we love you hope you have a great week uh see you next week. Bye. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.