The Nateland Podcast - 220: #220 Whole Foods featuring The Consumers

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Nate is prepping for SNL and Aaron is fathering a newborn baby so Brian and Dusty are joined by Greg Warren, Tim Convy, and Sean O'Brien from the new podcast The Consumers. Each week, The Consumers podcast does a deep dive into a company or brand to learn more about it. This week, the guys brought their research of Whole Foods to the Nateland table to teach us about the history of the health food grocery store. Jack Black:  GetJackBlack.com/Nate For 10% off your order & FREE Shipping, head to JackBlack.com/NATE and use code NATE. Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/Nate Stop wasting money on things you do not use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocketmoney.com/Nate today. DraftKings- https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/sportsbook-app Score big with DraftKings Sportsbook - the number ONE place to bet touchdowns. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code NATELAND. That’s code NATELAND for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just five. Only on DraftKings - The Crown Is Yours.

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Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Jack Black, Rocket Money and Draft Kings. Hello folks and hey bear. I'm Brian Bates as always. Tim Gandhi, Greg Warren, Dusty Slay, Sean O'Brien, the usual gang. Had a real podcast takeover. We're really like outnumbered on our own podcast here. I thought you guys might laugh at that when I said that, but I feel like I'm doing their podcast. I giggled. I mean, I sort of myself. Yeah. That's the, you know, I feel

like we're guests on y'all's podcast. We'll talk about that later. Uh, Nate is not here for obvious reasons. Nate is in New York getting ready for Saturday night live. We're happy for him. He needed that guy. I needed to catch a breath. Yeah, finally. Yeah. Yeah. Just some low end music act. Yeah. Like some fly by night coming. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking ground. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, and local band finally getting a break. No, I said I love Coldplay, too. So yeah, huge, huge. Yeah. The first time he was on the Foo Fighters. My God. Yeah. Crazy. It's crazy. So Nate is in better band New York now doing uh, S and L Aaron, uh, Aaron's in Atlanta at the Braves game. Uh, they're at, you know, they're in the playoff run and so he shot down there. Lucy had the baby, but then he's like, it's just my buddy's got tickets. So he's, no, Aaron, they had their baby Saturday afternoon, baby olive.

Big time. I texted with Aaron this morning. He said, tell everybody mom and baby are doing great. Thank you for all the prayers. Uh, five pounds, four ounces. Great. He said she had blonde hair and, uh, he'll be on hopefully back next week and we'll have photos and we'll hear all

about it but depending on how this goes maybe we don't have either of those guys back you know what I mean really yeah wow that's a bold one I feel bad about that yeah I would love it yeah do it yeah feel bad about it yeah we'll see what happens is it if you know I was thinking about getting Aaron Aaron's baby like a Atlantic Braves baseball card or something, like somebody from like Dale Murphy or somebody like that or Hank Aaron. You think you'd still do that if it's a girl? Yeah. I don't see why not.

You guys got kids? Yeah, absolutely. I only have boys, which you got my son a baseball card when he was born. Timo Perez. I have a boy. I don't remember getting one of those, but you know, that's okay. Well, I, I might not even known you when you had probably not, but yeah, it's been almost a year. So yeah, you still get a card, get a card for this one. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get you. What's your son's name? Uh, Sam. All right, man. I didn't think about that. Nothing comes to mind right away. MLB players named Sam. there's got to be somebody.

Sam Malone was a fake MLB player. Yeah, probably got a card out there somewhere. I can't think anybody else. It's OK. I am. I am. I am OK about it. Sam Cassell played basketball for the Houston Rockets. It's a basketball. Perfect. Yeah. Sam Perkins, they do, right?

For. Yeah, I can't remember who he played for. Yeah. I think maybe Portland. Is there Sam Seattle quarterback? Yeah. Bradford. Yeah. Yeah. He was not good. He was not good. Yeah. Great college quarterback. Yeah. Well, OK. I'm very excited to have you guys because last month I was in St.

Louis and Greg said, I'm going to get you on the Christie show and Courtney. Oh, is Courtney. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. He got you on the Christie show. Boy, man, it's your dude. I love you and I think you're funny, but you can't, you can't get on the Christie. No, that's too hard. Christie show is the Courtney show. Yeah. Excuse me. Courtney show. Tim said, come on the Courtney show. I'm like, I'm a love to, and then I get there and Courtney's not there.

It was Christie. Courtney was filling in for Christie. You came into filling for Courtney. So when these guys said, Hey, can we come on Nate's podcast? I think I got the perfect week for you guys. I'll return the favor. Okay. That's what I'm doing to him.

Nice. Love that. Yeah. You came on. So I'm on the Courtney show. You came on and we, we hadn't met or We had met briefly just a few days before mm-hmm Here in Zanies, and then you showed up, and we're like Courtney's out You're just on you're just doing the show with us, and we had a great time. Yeah, it's like three hours

Yes, did not get paid, but no well. I want to see how this goes. I feel like it's an equal Yeah, what are you looking for as far as compensation? Yeah? To meet Courtney I think I got a joke out? Yeah. To meet Courtney, I think. I got a joke out of it. Oh, yeah. That's worth everything. Come on. Yeah. Our pal Ron from the Funny Bone drove Brian to see us on the Courtney show. So they came over and Brian had a I could tell somebody had been affected by something and you shared it.

Well, we got there a little early. It's the crack of, I just met Ron is very often with morning radio. They club, send someone to pick you up that you've never met. It's you just rolled out of bed. Let me clean my car out. Yeah. Yeah. Every time there was some stuff over and then you climb in and you go do morning radio. I just met him. We get to the radio station a little early. I said, Hey, can we go through that McDonald's drive-through to go and get some breakfast before we do it?

And he's like, sure. So we go through the drive-through and I ordered the bacon egg and cheese McGriddle, McDonald's. And she said, it'll be 8.93. Would you like to round up to $9 for charity? And I just instinctively say no. Yeah, perfect.

And then, The right answer. I said, to take it a step further, I said to Ron, I was like, she didn't even say what the charity was for, I'm not gonna give her money. And Ron said, well, it's probably for the Ronald McDonald House. The reason I know is because my daughter

had open heart surgery. That's great. And we stayed there for many weeks. And then we just sat in silence in the drive-thru. We roll up. I have to hand the woman my money. She hands me seven cents over Rod's face. Here, give this nickel and two pennies to your daughter. Hope she's doing well. And then he drops me off at the radio station. So is it free to go to the Ronald McDonald House? It is. Yeah. So it's free. Not anymore.

Because I didn't get this. It used to be. Now there's a little tax. It is free. Yeah. If it's free, I could I would donate. Yeah. And then to that. Yeah. Sometimes they'll be like, yeah, donate. And then you go, oh, is it free?

And they go, oh, no, you still pay a lot of money to be there. But the money's going to that. Yeah. Sometimes they'll be like, yeah, donate. And then you go, oh, is it free? And they go, oh, no, you still pay a lot of money to be there. But the money's going to research. And I go, yeah, you can find your own research. Hamburglar House, though, is quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a ripoff. Guys, he's a crook. It's a it's a profit.

That guy's a charity. Terrible. You're right. He's unbelievable. Yeah. So why, Nate will be gone forever. Aaron should be back next week. We'll hear all about the baby. Nate Land Live is the new

weekly show we have here right here at the Lab of Zanies. Every Monday night. I hosted last week was the first one. Dusty's hosting tonight. Great lineup of comics. Every Monday. Okay lineup. Good host tonight. Strong, strong. Get there early. Leave whenever you want. Get your tickets at zanies.com if you're coming to that. And then we also have the Nick Lance showcase and Dusty hosted last month. It was a hot show. You were on that show. I was on that show. Nick Murphy was on. You guys remember Nick? He was great. Everybody on that show was great. That was a particularly hot show. Yeah.

But Nick's comes out this week. That's why. Okay. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody had really hot sets on that show. It was so, it was a great show. Nate did a guest spot. I mean, it was like, boom, boom, boom. I'm hosting this month. It's going to be another hot show. All right. Got a lot of good cup. Liz, Liz Glazer, Bobby Jaycox, St. Louis guy, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Simon Fraser and Mike Goodwin. All very funny. Okay. All be on their best behavior. If you're here in Nashville, tickets go on sale

for the next showcase November 4th at the lab. So November 4th is the next one at the lab. Also Nate Land's recording Steven Rogers special. Very funny, Steven Rogers. Yeah, it's gonna be great. He's doing it at the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado. That's October 12th at the Comedy Fort. And our very own Greg Warren doing another special.

Look out. This guy's a writing machine. He is cranking it out. There he is. November 23rd at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. That's a great club. Yeah, it's a big one. You know what, I was gonna do it in St. Louis,

my home club that it's like easy to fill. You know, it's like I can fill that thing in a heartbeat. But my friend Tim Convy told me it was a stupid idea to film there because the setup wasn't right. The ceilings were too low. And I had Nate's guys take a look at it and they agreed. So I'm going to Columbus, which is, it's a huge club. And I got to sit.

It's a great, it looks good. I think it'll look great. It really looks good. I think it'll look great. It looks like a theater almost. But I gotta fill it. And if I don't fill it, it's on Tim Convy. It's on him. So yeah, if you're listening, buy tickets but also it's it's uh, this is just it's gonna make it's gonna look better

This is gonna pay off. I I assure you Columbus is a great city. The club is great club is it's Fantastic and you've talked about how you're going for more of an artsy thing anyway, right? So I think the lighting is important on this one. Mm-hmm artsy Yeah, that was kind of your the priorities that shifted a little bit on this one. I was mostly. You kept talking about a statement you wanted to make. No, I did not. I always think artsy when I think Greg.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, this is fashion. No, no. Yeah. That's why I led you in that direction. I was under the impression. This is all terrible. Okay.

I mean, jokes is really what I'm talking about. When people say, who's a good alt comic? I always send them your way. You think so? Totally, yeah. I tend to see myself really what I'm told. When people say, who's a good alt comic? I always send them the one. Totally. Yeah. I tend to see myself as right down the middle. Almost avant-garde, I think, is what you talk about. You think so?

Yeah. Yeah, it's Neil Hamburger, Greg Warren. 100%. Yeah. So November in Columbus, do not miss that. Hamburger is more avant-garde than me. And Neil Hamburger. Yeah. When did you guys get to town? I got in last night.

I flew in from Pittsburgh and these guys got in. Yeah, we just drove in a few hours ago. So you wore that jersey even after you'd seen the game? No, man. I'm so proud of the bill. Yeah, I know I deserve they it was an ugly, ugly game last night. I just love them so much. So I was like, I got to showcase him on a cool platform.

So and now I'm paying the price because I'm warm. And because they look, they got their heads kicked in. You know, Dusty used to work with the Buffalo Bill. Well, that's true. Yeah. My old boss played for the Buffalo Bills way back. He was in his late 60s when I worked for him. So named Stu Barber. And there's a local comic,

Corey Knox, that played briefly with the Bills. That's true. Really? Very briefly. I think he was on maybe practice squad, maybe played a preseason game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So you, uh, that was when you were selling? Pesticides. Pesticides? Yeah. You had a guy, yeah. Yeah, my, my, he retired and I got his job, but I was a seasonal employee for him, but he was great.

We had a lot of fun. I didn't know you moved up, man. Yeah, I moved up one position and actually they restructured the company and then I kind of like by default moved up a position. I was a, my title was a district manager. No kidding. That's a, my pay never changed. And you know, yeah, really after my initial move up, my initial move up, I became a salary

employee with a car allowance. Sean, uh, sold cars. Yeah, man. Oh yeah. Yeah. That was a grind. Three years. Love that.

But never like a promotion. It's a flat organization, right? There's no, yeah, it was just like, hey, you sign up. You want to, my interview was like, uh, you want to make some money. That's literally what a guy, my manager told a 23 year old kid, he goes, you're classic Italian guy. Look like, I swear year old kid, he goes, you're classic Italian guy. Look like I swear, like Pesci in a casino.

Just back here. Nice suit. And he goes, so you want to make some money? I go, I mean, that'd be great. I love money. He goes, here's this pamphlet on Dodge products. Read it in two days. See you Monday.

And that was it. Just in. And then they're like, there's the floor, kid. Just go talk to people. I was like, all right, I guess we're going to do this. And then you did it for three years. I did it for three years. So you made what I really only made money like the last year, because the first year they're like, I'm like, hey, how's it going today?

They're like, we're just looking at like, see you later. And then I say, all right. Now I was in no sort of like how to combat. Yeah. Objections. Now you're like, let me get your ID and. Oh, man, we were we were right. It would be like, let me get your ID and. Oh man, we were. It would be like let me get your keys to your trading. That was the move. Then you held a hostage. Yeah, oh, you think of trading that car?

Yeah, we're thinking about it. You give me your keys. I'm going to have my used car trade in manager take a look. He didn't exist. It's me and then we just take the keys. I give it to like some lot guy and then he vanishes for two hours. And they're like, yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm like, yeah, I swear your kid,

they're around here somewhere. Just give us a minute. Let me crunch some more numbers. I just chiseled out. Have your kid get in the car with our lot guy too. That's dirtbag tag. Very unethical. Dirtbag tag.

It's like, yeah, Dusty was all about that. Yeah, I mean, you gotta make a sale. You know what I mean? So I get it. You gotta make the sale. He was closer to you than me. I was, there's principles, I think. Now, will you guys talk about this kind of stuff

on the consumers? Yeah, we talk a little bit about everything. First episode came out yesterday. Yesterday, that episode was the Dunkin' Donuts episode. We pick one brand every week and we do a deep dive on it. We're about to get a Dunk Dunkin Donuts right across the street No kidding. Yeah, that's big. Really just Duncan now, right? Just don't can yeah anything you want now doesn't that just have to be? Yep comes out every Tuesday every Tuesday. Why are you got some reviews?

Come out yesterday already have some reviews here. Oh, yeah, what it's a couple let the other guys talk Greg. There's one Very reasonable and makes sense. And this one says, oh, I love Greg as a guest on Nate Land and on Bob and Tom, but not really a leading man kind of guy. Don't know if he can carry a podcast himself. I have some of these. I hate it when they- This sounds like the Douglas Day guy.

All the doubts that you have about yourself, they just zero in on. Well, I kind of made that up. So those weren't real. Well, that hurts. Actually that does hurt. Cause I actually thought they were real. And I was like, do you people understand what I'm going to cheering for the right sweet.

That is the comments you get. You can get comments like you suck or whatever. And it's like, those are fine. But when they, they'll find one that's like, like a deep, like, you're like, Whoa, do you know me? You've known me since childhood. Yeah, they do have a way sometimes. Reasonable comments.

Yeah. Worse. Yeah. Yeah. Reasonably negative, well thought out comments. You got, like, I can tell this guy, uh, has a lot of insecurities based on the way he moves around. And I'm like, oh, this guy makes a strong point. I think he peed his pants a little bit before he walked on stage.

Who's talking? Those are the worst. The leading man thing hurt. Were you nervous about being a leading man? No. The leading man thing hurt. Were you nervous about being a leading man? No. I wasn't starring in a Scorsese film. I'm talking about donuts and peanut butter. Fairly easy transition. Yeah, and White Castle. But no, I think I'm very proud of that first episode.

Yeah, it's a good time. And the one's coming. Well, what about a little taste of what, when you say you do a deep dive on Dunkin' Donuts, what are you going in on? You wanna talk Dunkin' or you wanna talk a new brand? Well, we can talk, we're gonna talk a new brand today. We're gonna get through these comments first,

but just do a deep dive on. Yeah, what do you guys remember about Dunkin'? I mean- Like when they got started. So Duncan, Duncan's big thing. Duncan was the franchise one, right? That franchise is basically exists today as we know them because of Duncan Donuts. It was frowned upon. Everybody hated the whole idea of franchising. In fact, in some states, you could not advertise that you were a franchise. You couldn't, you couldn't mention it. It was almost illegal to franchise. And the main Dunkin guy was like, it was the only way he thought he's going to make money. All he's selling is

donuts and coffee. So he went big, talked to all these guys into franchising. And that's why we have franchises. Wow. So Dunkin ruined it for us. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Pretty much. Quality of everything is worse because of Dunkin Donuts. The other thing is the guy, Bill Rosenberg, I think is the guy that started Dunkin Donuts. He was like a the guy, Bill Rosenberg, I think is the guy that started Dunkin' Donuts. He was like a kid and he dropped out of school in the eighth grade because it was the depression. And this kid was like a hustler. And they said one of the ways where he made a bunch of money

as a kid, he would take a big block of ice and he would haul it to the horse racetrack and he would sell ice chips. And he made a ton of money doing it. Yeah. Which, um, one, I don't know anybody that's eaten ice chips other than pregnant women. And they, I don't know if they should be betting on horses. Maybe they should. Uh, and it's a different time though. It's real hot. Maybe they didn't have air conditioner. I guess my thing is who is the stadium letting him come in and do that? Like, I can't go to where the Titans play and just walk in with some sort

of bags of ice and be like, don't mind me. Guys, I'm just here selling stuff next to your concession. Yeah, we were a little suspect. We talked a little bit about that. Uh, we, I don't know. I thought that was pretty interesting. Uh, they had that, uh, they had that donut with a handle for a very long time. Do you remember that? No, it was like a donut and it had like a, a handle for a very long time. Do you remember that?

No. It was like a donut and it had like a handle. For people who love donuts but wish there was a handle. Yeah. Yeah. You know how when you're, if you don't have a handle. So it wasn't an edible handle. No, it was. It was. Okay.

It was an edible handle. Which really is just more donut. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't think it completely through. Yeah. Yeah. But they stopped doing that, I believe, 2001. Because it's like a thing we found. It's like a tire with a boot on it. Right. Yes. It's a lot like that. Yeah. They're really trying to push their coffee now, all right?

Yeah, that's why they went to Duncan. American runs on Duncan. Which we felt was one of the best taglines pretty much in history. And it was John Goodman doing it. Right. What? I think John Goodman was the voiceover for America. We missed that. Somebody fumbled that ball. Yeah. That was, I think that was Tim was supposed to do that. I think that was a conbie. John Goodman is the voiceover for America runs on Duncan. Yeah. I don't know if he's not. She sounds a lot like him. Yeah. If Aaron was here, we'd look it up. We might have to recut that. Yeah, I don't know if he's not. He sounds a lot like him. Yeah, all right, if Aaron was here,

we'd look it up. We have to recut that. Yeah, we'll find out next week. Yeah, I'm humiliated. Is it Saint Louis and two? We really blue? Yeah, he grew up right down. I'm hoping he's not.

I'm hoping it's not him. John Goodman was really great. You hate to. You hate to be anti someone losing weight, but it felt like when John Goodman lost a lot of weight, it's like he seemed like a different guy. I agree. Yeah. And I'm happy for him. But he's a different guy now.

Yeah. Yeah. Heavy John was great, man. Yeah. He had range. That's what I loved about the guy. Yeah. He like made arachnophobia funny. Yeah. Yeah. That movie still haunts me to this day. And he's hilarious. He is hilarious. And that movie. Maybe he just got a little older. It could be it too.

Could be. No, he made an effort. He was a big guy. He was big. He played Babe Ruth. He's big. And then all of a sudden we're just so saying seriously, and he's still playing.

What's his name? Dan Connor, but he's skinny now. Yeah, right. I'm with you. I was not rooting for him. He's going to play a Ty Cobb. Yeah. Well, you get older.

You lose. Yeah, it's good. It's not bad at all. Willie McGee. Willie McGee would have been a better one. Yeah. Well, you get older. Yeah, it's good. It's not bad at all. Willie McGee. Willie McGee would have been a better one. Yeah. Yeah. Strong. And I know your podcast is great because everything you do is great. I made those jokes kind of bomb, but I think.

No, I mean, I loved it. I'm glad you did. And that's a lot of the podcast is Sean and I don't agree on a lot. Yeah, we don't see eye to eye just pretty much in life. So we decided to join forces just to make. Yeah, sometimes on paper doesn't fit, but I'm sure we'll get through it after episode. Greg says you're a huge fan of the Nightline podcast.

I love it, man. I am. Tim's never seen Tim close to him. Never seen one. Tim speaks out against it. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. Do not care for it. I've never seen an episode either. Is that right? No, I'm a big fan. I'm, yeah, I'm way into it. I want to tell you guys about Jack Black deodorant.

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All right, the real test I think Abigail put that on let's get her in here. Let's smell her pit the next place That's a different podcast that's more of a Howard Stern type thing. I use Howard Stern. I use Jack Black this morning. My favorite scent, this is all Abigail. Abigail used Jack Black this morning. Her favorite scent is Blue Midnight, but you really can't go wrong with any of them. It just leaves you refreshed and ready to go. Along with deodorant, Jack Black offers a full line of men's products for every need for cleaning to moisturizing beard care. It's so nice to have a men's luxury brand.

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Where we were this weekend? No, we didn't I had some hot shows. Let's hear about it I was in Lexington at the Lexington Opera House in Kentucky, hot show. Lexington's always great. You know, we filmed a special there. I love it. I always say that the worst thing about, cause I am doing some theaters now,

the worst part about it is leaving clubs that I really like. The Comedy Off-Broadway is a great club. I like doing it. I hate that I didn't get to do it there when I was there. And then I went over to Bristol, Tennessee to the Paramount and very sad stuff happening in East Tennessee and North Carolina. But somehow even being in East Tennessee, I didn't see any of

it. So and how was your crowd? Really great. Yeah, great crowds. Maybe it was the Virginia side of Bristol. Maybe so. Well, I stayed in the Virginia side and then I drove into Tennessee, but it was great. Are you claiming hoax? What's that? Are you claiming maybe this is a hoax? No, no, I'm just saying I was, I was blessed to, uh, to not

experience any, anything, not even any bad rain. It cleared up each night so I could have cigars outside. I mean, it rained all day and then at night it cleared up so I could smoke cigars. Did you do that after every show? Yeah. We hung out in the parking lot after the last time I did a show here.

Yeah. And you smoked some cigars. I don't smoke them, but it was- It's so great. It's- Cool to be around it. I'm trying to start. I mean, I really am. They just it looks so much fun. But I just I inhale a little

bit and that's not good. Oh, I don't. Yeah, you can't inhale. I don't mean to. I just like got to instant and then I'm like confidence. It's so fun to just, you know, after the show, it's a good wind down. I found if I do cigars before shows. That's a real mistake. All my energy is gone. I'm already a low energy comic and then halfway through the show, I'm like, can I even finish this? But after post show, that's what it's like. So you still get a little nicotine though by puffing on them, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All in the glands. And then I wind down and then I go back to my hotel and stay up till 3 AM on TikTok. You know what I mean? Were you guys anywhere this weekend? Yeah, I was in Las Vegas. I got to open for Nikki Glaser and David Spade do a residency out there. So they're there together every couple months. And yeah, I get to open those shows at the Venetian. And yeah, it was amazing. It was, yeah, places incredible. And you're the casino and Vegas and all that. And yeah, Spade was amazing. And yeah, Nicky's great. It was real, real fun shows.

That's awesome. No cigars. Lots of people smoking in those casinos. You don't need to smoke in Vegas. You can just walk through the casino. Exactly. Yep. I mean, it's, and you're just,

you're not used to that in public anymore. And then you go to a place like that and it's. Did you put any money on the table? All over. I didn't, I don't do that. I love Vegas because I love, I love the people watching. I love that people are in a good mood. The shows are always good. Uh, but I don't, I don't gamble. I don't drink. I don't go to the clubs or any, anything like that. But I still, I have a, I have a great time. My buddy, Brendan Ayers said that you drug him

to the punk rock museum. I did. He said it was pretty horrible. It was, it was not great. My ex, I was real, real excited. I was really pumped. And I did, like, Brendan was like, I got a bunch of stuff to do today.

He was working at Brad Garrett's club. I'm trying to take a nap before the show. And I'm like, please. I didn't want to go solo. So he went with me and there's nothing punk rock about a $45 admission The punk rock museum. Yeah, it was it was you paid his fee though, right? I did I got I got Brendan's cuz I felt bad. It was listen. It was not if you're into punk rock and you're in Museums you should go. It's not if you're not into those things. You should not go. It's still it does not in a museum, you should go. It's not, if you're not into those things, you should not go.

It's still, it does not transcend a museum. If that makes sense. Kind of punk rock to have a bad museum about punk rock though. Yeah. True. For a second, I was like, is this whole thing just this punk, like you pay the admission fee, you turn the corner and it's just like. Some guys screaming at you.

Yeah, middle finger, yeah. Yeah. Middle finger. I was like, that'd be pretty good. That'd be really punk. Yeah. It'd be a better story, but it was, I'm glad I went. It was, it was, it was fine. People, they were nice. Some guy calling you an idiot for coming in there. Sort of like that sort of thing. No, aren't you in a punk rock band? Yeah. I'm in a band called Ludo that is certainly some punk influence. And then I do a band that does two shows a year. So one is basically punk rock Disney. Like my comedy. We do.

Two shows a year. Yeah, all drivable. I've always said Brian's comedy is punk rock. Yeah. Yeah, it is. We got avant-garde and punk rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy pillars. Yeah, so I do a band that plays punk rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy pillars.

Yeah, so I do a band that plays punk rock versions of Disney songs. We do a punk rock Disney and then punk rock Christmas, which we do in St. Louis. It'll be December 7th. So it's all your favorite Christmas songs, the hymns, whatever, but by this cool punk band. And yeah, it's fun. And I saw a bunch of my friends that I used to tour with and stuff all in the museum.

No, really I had, I w we were not my band, not represented in the punk rock. Oh, you mean like display the museum. Yeah. Like their gold records are up or what it was like a jacket that, that, that guys, I knew war and stuff. And I kept kind of like looking around every corner. No Ludo. Nothing.

No Ludo. Yeah. So I put, I started my own little, Oh, did you just a thing in the bathroom where it's all right. Okay. That's good. Put up a vinyl. Yeah. So I started my own little, there's a thing in the bathroom where it's our, put up a vinyl. Which is really more punk too, to be like our exhibits in the bathroom. Yeah. Felt good. But yeah, Vegas was great. Great weekend. Sean, were you anywhere? I was off last weekend. I went to see my girlfriend. I went to see the bare naked ladies with Toad the Wet's rocket. So if you're 40 or over, you probably know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I think so. Very fun, man. Just to the bare naked lace. Silly. The guys running bits on stage. He did it. He did a bit on stage. He's ends. He's doing whatever, like a million dollars. And then he just goes, guys, you want to hear a joke? And the whole crowd's like, yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, oh, no, just play the music. I don't have time for this aggravation. Yeah. But whatever, you know, and then he goes, I bet you it's even if he goes so I was in a library and I go up, I go up to the lady working at the counter library. I go out, let me get two cheeseburgers, large fry. I know the show. Great joke. Extra large coke. Actually make them make the three fries.

That'll be it. And the librarian goes, Sir, this is a library. And then he goes, Sorry, may I please have two large french fries? It's great. How do we do it? I'm I'm not good at street jokes. Again, I was like, I called that I was like, I get my girl a little elbow. I go watch this. I'll punch this in first. So I had a friend, the crowd's like, oh, no way.

This is crazy. This is insane. Whoever wrote that joke is crazy. It is. And I just, I shouldn't be able to predict it to me. It's a fun street joke, but it's like, yeah, if you're here there to see music, it's like, I don't know. You got a joke, do a joke, but don't do a street joke.

He did a street joke. And he's a fun guy. Yeah. Jokes. Yeah. I'll give it to him. They're naked ladies. You should be able to just create. I bet. I, and I hope this is the case. Someone just told him that and he's like, I want to share this. I hope that's not what he does every 20 years. Yeah. It feels like that was a St. Louis special because he was actually at that they were at the factory where you played. Oh yeah. That same place. So he had a lot of it's in this suburb called Chesterfield. I did that joke there too. Cut to Bates tonight on a show going broken to my old apartment. That's a naked lady song.

Uh huh. Yeah. I think I knew. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was really proud because then if I had a million dollars, he references something about like Chesterfield or an autumn. And Chesterfield is the suburb where the factory is. So he was very proud of that. Very. And he like called that like mid song. He broke song and he goes, the guy you see, you see, I wrote this song.

It all fate happened 20 years in. I finally got the Chesterfield by saying Chesterfield. And that one kind of bombed. Actually, they play any songs all the way through. It sounds like they kept stopping. They stopped a lot, man. They played nine songs, four and a half hour concert. So now I'm kidding.

No, they did a journey. The journey they take. And then they close with ACDC Highway to Hell, which I thought was Dusty's favorite song. Yeah. So you're not not a. Well, you know, I mean, you know, I grew up liking those songs, but then you realize what you're singing. And I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I don't want that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to sing. I'm on a highway to I don't even want to say it. Wow. We were at you guys can sing it all you want, but that's not what I'm trying to say. We were at a birthday party where there was a band and they're like, everybody gather round up here. And we all went up there enthusiastically. And that was the song that they started playing. Dusty's like, ah, and then the guy goes, so there's this librarian. And they want to rope us all into, you know, trying to go to hell out here. And I'm like, you know what?

I'm good. Now is it true? Bare-Naked ladies came over that name to get people to come in the door. Yeah. Really just put it on a poster like this Friday at the whatever. I've considered doing that with my comedy career. Just something similar. I don't know what it would be.

Just seems like the old free fried chicken. I don't know. It seems like the ultimate let down though. Doesn't it? You go in, you're like, fried chicken, I don't know. Yeah. It seems like the ultimate letdown though, doesn't it? Yeah. You go in, you're like, oh yeah, bear naked. Right. And then it's like, it's.

Five Canadian suits. A library joke. Yeah. Right. You know. Great. You can only do it a couple of times. It's real disappointing.

Where were you? Oh, thanks for asking, man. I thought you were gonna skip me. Sure, nope. I had a show in Youngstown, Ohio on Friday night and then I did a show in Pittsburgh. It was like a fundraising thing for some charity in Pittsburgh. Always giving back. Yeah. I took money on this one. Every now and then I don't, but I took money. Yeah. You didn't agree with the charity. No, I agreed with it. You can't do them all for free. You gotta pay the bills. But they had this thing I didn't know about. Do you guys know about in the

state of Pennsylvania at every function like weddings and this thing and they have they call it cookie table. I've heard of this. Keep going. Yeah. Oh man. I walked in and immediately my eyes just went to the most beautiful baked goods you've ever seen on every table in the place. Like cupcakes and cookies. I've done many shows in Pennsylvania that's never happened. Well, they're not gonna have a comedy club. Okay.

Yeah, but like at a wedding or this was kind of a, you know, a charity thing where families got together and stuff. Okay. But yeah, it's a, I'm, I hope somebody in Pittsburgh invites me to a wedding because it was unbelievable. People bring them? I'm sorry, everybody brings them? I don't know. They just appear. I think it was there. They booked home bakes and it was uh, it was beautiful. Yeah, that's a that's a PA thing is cookie tables. I don't know if it's PA or just uh, when you propose in Pittsburgh things just start making. When you propose in Pittsburgh, things just start making. Uh huh.

Uh huh. That's that's really cool. I didn't know that. That's great. That's great. Well, I was in Louisville, Kentucky at the Louisville Comedy Club. Oh yeah, you called me on the way up. Yeah.

Greg has great advice. He said, let's take it easy. He said, you know, depending on the crowd size, sometimes you have to do a presentation. Sometimes you just have to have a conversation. And I started thinking about it. I was like, you know what? There's never been a time I had to do a presentation. I could always just have a conversation. A lot of conversations. Yeah, you were telling me on the way up, you're like, I think it might be a small crowd.

Yeah. Well, then just, you need to talk to them a little bit more than talk at them. When it's a small crowd, I like to get weird with it. Yeah. I find that's more fun. I don't know, man, when it's a big crowd, you're not exactly straight down the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's her tip, that's her tip. That is true, that is true. Yeah, you're not reading prose up there. Well, I think that's weirdness I can't avoid. Yeah, right. The automatic stuff and then you spread your wings a little bit on the weird ones. But you saw Abe. Abe R. there? Yeah, he hosted. Ron McComb featured. It was a small crowd, but I had a good time. It was good? Yeah. It was so small they didn't have me fill out a W9.

So they're like, Kentucky ain't even got to recognize it. Just don't even worry about it. Yeah. You just told everybody the threshold you did not meet. Everybody sort of knows that number. Every show you're like, here's my paper. I love that. The tax-free tour.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's some driving money. Yeah. So anyway, but I had a great time. I had a great time. They should just, they should just, uh, they should pay you with like a card and a grandma with some like some ones. Yeah. They turn, they turn people away. They're like, are there no more seats? They're like, no, it's the, it's the IRS line, the W nine year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he sells anymore. Yeah. You sell one more away. They're like, are there no more seats? They're like, no, it's the IRS line, the W9. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he sells anymore.

Yeah, you sell one more ticket, we're gonna have to do some paperwork. Yeah, Uncle Sam finds out. Let's just stop now. Yeah, that's how Brian does it. Keep the street going. Yeah. Have a great time. You guys want to get into these comments? Yeah. Dusty, you want to read or me?

You want to do it. You want to do it? You want to take turns? No, I'll do it. I feel like sometimes what I might. Yeah, I'd like to do it. And then we get halfway through and I'm like, I wish I had not. Yeah, I should not said yeah to it. Well, I do want to say, okay, I was gonna say you can you can start and then bail out. Yeah, I feel like it looks bad.

You don't want to be a queer. Yeah. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and naitelandatnatebargatzee.com. Nate never reads that part, and then every week people are always commenting, where do I email, where do I email? So I want people to know, the email is naitelandatnatebargatzee.com.

All right, Cameron Hadley. I really do like every episode, and have never disliked a guest. But when I see the words featuring Greg Warren, I get unreasonably excited. Always some good peanut butter talk when he comes on. That's pretty cool. Is it Greg Warren that you like or the peanut butter talk? Mm hmm. I'll take you. It's true.

Yeah, it seemed like they were like, I get excited about Greg Warren and then add in always some peanut butter. Like what if Greg doesn't talk about peanut butter at all at all that episode? I don't really see where that's going to happen. Yeah, I don't either. Or what if we just talk about peanut butter when Greg's not here? Do you think that's still going to make Cameron Hadley excited? You're going to render me sort of useless. That's true. Yeah, that is true. Another good point. Expertise, I think that is hard to duplicate. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

You think Cameron's a man or a woman? I think a woman. Yeah, definitely a woman. You get you wanted to be a woman because Cameron's getting unreasonably excited. I just like unreasonably excited. Yeah. I'm going to start saying yeah. Yeah. As somebody who's unreasonable most of the time. Correct. Yeah, you're right.

So I'll be unreasonably excited while I'm being unreasonable. Melanie Hughes, beyond excited to hear Greg Warren's podcast, will be joining the lineup of the Nate Land channel. Sounds like an awesome premise. Hoping Nate Land will eventually have one podcast to listen to for each day of the week. Keep on creating. Melanie loves an exclamation point. And I like that about her. Yeah, I'm like that too. People make fun of me. Yeah, I go heavy. Yeah. Yeah, because especially in text, you kind of

want to let them know your tone. So I will I go heavy on the explanation. This is what I do. If there's three, and there are three sentences, and I did all exclamation points, I go back in the middle one change to it. I do too. I do too. I do that too. I was like, nah, this is too exciting. Yeah. Yeah. Unreasonably excited. And if you sandwich it, they still get the idea. You're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. It seems formulaic. Yeah. But sometimes if you go, hey, and then the name exclamation point, it's like, it's like, you know, like a period seems like you're being serious. Yes. Yeah.

The exclamation point, it's like, I'm not really that excited. Yeah. That's almost unreasonably exciting. We need a in between exclamation point and period. A comma. Nobody's doing a comma. They do a comma. Text, can you imagine? What?

Are you insane? If you were like, Hey, Greg, comma, and then in a text. I mean, I think I've done it. I mean, really? Maybe if you do dot, dot, dot. Yeah, elliptical ending. Ellipses, I believe. Ellipses. Very good.

It's hard to do the explanation point if you're giving bad news. Hey, Greg, you've just been fired. Yeah, you don't need to come in tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got to tell Melody about the or Melanie about the middle sentence.

Yeah, she did really. She actually has four sentences here. So it works. Yeah, I don't think anything's in here about what Melanie. I don't think so either. Do you ever when you reply to each other like your friends, do you say your buddy's name? Like I'll never if Tim sends me a message, I never, it's always gotta be hey buddy, hey pal, hey man.

And I'll use that. And I almost feel like I could never just, cause I feel like hey's too just in for like almost cold, like hey. So I always do a buddy, man, pal. I like bro, buddy, man. I never do a pal. Dude.

Bro is my pal. I don't do dude. If I'm texting you too that I text regularly I'll go yo, dude. Hey, dude. Hey man pal, whatever But if i'm texting brian who I haven't texted in a while i'll say hey brian like full acknowledgement You know what I mean? All right more formal you guys go with chief If you do chief you should do big guy. Yeah, I do player quite a bit. Yeah Yeah, you shouldn't do that. Yeah, you're not that that. I am. No, you're not. On occasion.

No, I'm that guy. I assure you. Do you do player? No, I go ER. Okay. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Tim did a set on my show with St. Louis. Yeah. Very excited. He said exclamation point. Oh, yeah. I thought it meant something to him. I'll bet our first text exchange is just littered with exclamation point. Yeah Yeah, I thought you were really excited to do the show and I was and it was in we had a great time XNA call me. He's like I gotta do this show. Yeah I'll put exclamation points in just very excited player. Yeah Beyond excited Yeah. Beyond excited. Try player. Put player.

Jake Stevens. I've started eating dinner with my hands when I'm at home. No utensils. I got to say it does make the meal more enjoyable. I think Dusty's onto something with some of his ideas. Yeah. All of my ideas are good. If people just embrace them. That's what I, I was in a hotel the other day, kitchen in there. I went, walked to the store, bought a steak, cooked it in the hotel, was eating it with the utensils and I'm like, what am I doing? And I just picked it up and started eating the steak. I had, I had like some type of side. I don't remember what it was at this point, but it, it needed a fork

and I ate it with my hands. Sure. And it felt good. Oh, I get it. It felt, I was like, why am I doing this? It was in the hotel. Yeah. Let me ask you this, uh, as a napkin, did you use the towel from the bathroom? Oh, I do that every time. Every time.

I don't do that. Every, I've never said that out loud before, but I do it all the time. I did it this the time. I did it this past week. I've had some towels by the end of the week, like, oh, they'll never get this clean. Yeah. I had barbecue last week and I looked down, I'm like, this, they got to throw this towel. I'll throw it away for them because I'm too embarrassed. I'd rather them think I stole

it than see all that's going on with that towel. Yeah. 100%. It's like a crime scene. I've ruined a lot of towels. I've ruined some bed sheets with food. With food. Yes. Sean eats in bed.

I do. And not in just a hotel. Like I'll eat in my own bed, which is way worse. Yeah, that is worse. What's your daily though? Way worse. If you're eating in bed, people are like, well, what are you eating bed? And I'm like, man, if you have to ask, it's not broccoli.

I can't pay that much. All right. Look at me. I'm clocking in at 274. What could I possibly be eating? Nobody's eating. Yeah. Healthy foods. You're so dead on. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's quinoa, you know, mixed with romaine lettuce. Working on my portion control lettuce wrap That would be the healthy if it was a lettuce wrap that'd be the best thing I've done so far Yeah, oh, it's so sad, man But even with your hands it really feels especially some meat like that that you got a tear with your mouth So you're never going back. Well, you know, I got you know, I got a wife and you know So I got a like I can't just do it like that all the time. But if I, we do like beef with a bone,

like a T-bone or something, even at home, by the time I get done with that, I pick it up, I'm gnawing on the bone. Let me ask you, do you eat fast? Yeah, I do eat fast. I mean, you just like, I mean, you look and you're like, man, I just ate a 16 ounce strip steak in two and a half minutes.

And I wonder why I have stomach problems. Yes, yes. And then I think that. Actually, me and my wife both eat really fast and we've ate with other couples before and like the food comes and then we look up and they're like getting started. I've been at restaurants, I eat so fast.

I've been with restaurants before that I win the speed eating contest that I didn't even know I was in. Like three buddies at the table will be like, let's see if we can finish for him. Not tell me it's a competition and I still win. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's, it's a really bad habit. Well, you spent some time in the joint. So I did, I did. You had to fight for what was ours. But yeah, I, sorry, go ahead. I grew up with, I had older step brothersothers, you know, and like it felt like everybody

would always eat before me and then like be mad at me that I'm still eating. Yeah. Like they're like, well, we're just waiting on dusty. So I'm like, now I just eat like a maniac, especially with little kids. You're just like this eat because you got two minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's horrible for according to some doctor of mine that it's a cause of acid reflux. Yeah.

Part of the reason. Just like, yeah, just fasting and your food just not digesting. You're supposed to chew your food like till it becomes liquid. Yeah. Yeah. When I was at West Point, I spent my first year of college at West Point

and all the meals, you had to, you could have the, you'd take a bite like this with your fork, you couldn't chew until you set the fork back down, then you had to have your hands on your lap, and then you had to chew until there was no more food in your mouth to dissolve it all. It was like no less than 11 chews or something. Just to teach discipline or was this a healthy thing? I would bet it was because it was done to them and it started probably back in the 1800s or something. But yeah, I think now that I think of it, it's probably a very healthy way to eat.

Probably back then it was a digestive thing. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, that take you a while to break that when you were out. No, I got right back. Yeah. Yeah. That take you a while to break that when you were out? No, I got right back. Yeah. Dusty, what tells about rocket money? Yeah, sure do. Did rocket money find any subscriptions you forgot about or any any you paid twice and didn't realize?

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Nice. I gotta do that, man. Yeah. I think I'm gonna do it. I should do it. I think I got a subscription to Highlights magazine. On auto. Yeah, you should do it.

How was that ad read? I like to start. Bang up job. I try to get angry with it. You were locked in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hit another gear. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't anger though. It was passion. Passion. Yeah. Did you, you didn't want to bail halfway through on that one. No, no, I didn't know. I felt like this could be longer.

Yeah. Yes. That's what I thought. I thought you could give, I thought you could make more of a meal. Are there more details? Yes. I like how you did several, uh, like a church, like lookups, like you found this and you like, I'm going to engage. I want people to call rocket money to cancel that ad rate. Yeah. This is so good. You're all out. Yeah. That was really, really strong. Thank you guys. Uh, Ashley

person. I don't like that last name, keep it vague. Yeah. Could be a man, could be a woman, we know it's a person. Yeah, person. I've been grinding on the vegetables aren't real all day after listening to Dusty speak the truth. I'm converted, but my only hold back is asparagus. Please help explain it to me.

So Dusty says vegetables aren't real. What does that mean? Well like they're like they all fit into a different category. Like peppers are fruit, tomatoes are fruit, spinach is leaves, broccoli is flowers. What's carrot? Carrots are roots. Ginger's roots. Um, um, potatoes are roots. Yeah. And so asparagus has got her hung up. I think it fits. I think it fits into the broccoli category. It's a flower. Yeah. I mean, I asked this last week, but I guess I really don't understand. Like it's just a sub like mammals. What about people? Were they're humans? They're not real either. Yeah. What about chimpanzees? Well, they're apes, but they're all mammals. What about people? Were they're humans? They're not real either. Yeah. What about chimpanzees? Well, they're apes. I never felt like humans were mammals.

I felt like we're on, we're our own thing. Yeah, I agree. We don't fit into the animal categories. I always felt like that. If you run the numbers. Yeah, that's completely, completely. All right. Well, let's take humans out though. But like, it is interesting because fruit, you can't put fruit is only fruit is Yeah. It's kind of your point. Yeah. It's like a seed bearing thing, you know, so the peppers have seeds in it, like a tomato does, like an apple, like a peach. I saw this, I saw a video on Tik TOK about this.

And I just think I didn't think I was, I thought you were going to back yourself into a corner, but you pulled that. I was like, how's that explain broccoli and the flower things. Yeah. Yeah. Cauliflower flower. It's right there in the name. Yeah, it is. Yeah. So avocados are fruit, right? Avocado. Yeah, it's a real fruit.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So it's not a Duffy fruit. It's a real. Yeah. That's where I'm getting at. All right. I'm thinking asparagus is I'm going to go with, you could might even say a tree. I was just going to say that. Yeah. I think that's strong. I grew some asparagus for a long time and then I cut it down and I was like, this doesn't look like any asparagus I ever bought at the store.

And I threw it away. I was like, I don't even know what this is. What does the onion, I'd say that's a root. That's a root vegetable. Root vegetable. I'd say just a root. You ever go to the grocery store late at night and they cover up the onions and the potatoes? Oh. Yeah, something shady is going on. If you go to the produce section

in the middle of the night, they have a cover over the onions and potatoes. Like a tarp? Like a tarp, but a cloth tarp. Yeah. Do you have any idea why? No. Maybe they spray water on some of it, but not on that? I Yeah. Do you have any idea why? No. Maybe they spray water on some of it,

but not on that? I don't know what's something they don't want you to see is going on. They say onions have a real way to like soak up bad things from the environment around. So like if you cut an onion to cook, people say you should never put that onion in the refrigerator.

You should just either use the whole onion or throw away the rest. Yep. Because it pulls everything. Yeah. Because once it opens and you put it in your fridge, it'll start pulling all these negative like toxins, toxins. You're a holistic guy. Have you ever heard of putting onions and garlic on your feet? I have heard that never done it before though. Okay. I got on a kick for maybe a year.

What did you think? Yeah. Then you got pneumonia, right? No, I didn't. I did. I'm not sure. A couple of times I think it helped me. I'm not sure it did. I can tell you it's a very inconvenient way to sleep. Yeah.

And it's going to the bathroom is tricky because it hurts because you're stepping on onions and garlic. You saran wrap it to your feet. Okay. And put socks over it. Wow. I want to do it. I say that somebody told me you can chop up onions

and put it around the room, and it'll kind of get rid of stuff. And so when I say to the condo in Jacksonville, the Jacksonville condo zone. I chopped up a bunch of onions. What happened? I don't know. It just, it smelled better than it did.

On onion is no match. You're going to have to have an onion farm. What goes on in there? Are you kidding me? When I was in St. Louis, I stayed at the condo there at the Funny Bowl Revue. Very nice. They have a full kitchen and Dusty said, you know, you got a condo with a kitchen. You got to go buy some groceries. So I went straight to the grocery store and it was something with the S. We don't have them here. Schnucks. And they had these carts. The lady in front

of me was pushing her cart out. The wheels locked up on her. Like it somehow senses if you're stealing stuff. Yep. Oh, yeah. And while Sean's just having you. Yeah, I mean, that's so weird. I thought it was just a fluke. So that's how they catch you. All right. All right.

I got a guy who start paying a break that I think it's just I don't think it's about if you have a product in there, I think it's just, I don't think it's about if you have a product in there, I think it's just a, um, like a, almost like a dog collar, whether it goes to a certain place outside the store, outside the premises, it stops. So maybe that malfunctioned. Maybe I'm pulling, you had to come over and it's not like they accused the woman of stealing, but they just reset something. She just kept going. I wish that happened to me in the store. I'd make a scene. I'm not going down for this. I didn't do nothing. I want that happened to me in this tour. I'd make a scene. I'm not going down for this. I didn't do nothing.

I want a lawyer. I want my lawyer. You're like, I'm stocking. If anything, I'm putting this back. Yeah. Are you guys pretty honorable at the self checkout? You know, five apples, you're hitting five. Make sure I'm just making sure that I'm not.

The fact that you're asking that. I am not, I'm not, you know, if anything, no, I'm, I'm just making sure that I'm not the fact that you're asking that? No, I am not. I am not. I'm not. You know, if anything, no, I'm I'm actually the roundup guy, man. I'm very, very, very one for me. Yeah. What are you talking about? The fact that you ask that question makes me very suspicious. Roundup. I just heard people. I've just heard people.

You've already got that. I got friends. Yeah. They're like, if they're just angry people, they're like, you know, I mean, there's podcasts out there where people would have said, yeah, they would have said, no, we're not reasonable. Yeah, there's one guy I know I would he I don't want to name, but he basically he'll he'll get six apples and hit four. And he's very proud. I love that he's just something like oranges went something to that.

And so I guess, you know, you're you're beating the system there. Not here, Sean, but not here on our system. Yeah, I get it. Integrity. Yeah. Nick Greenfield. Another good last name. I live in Southern Illinois, about 10 minutes across the river from St. Louis.

I always tell people from not around here that I live in St. Louis because no one has ever heard of Millstatt, Illinois. Millstatt. We have, it's Millstatt. Yeah. Where I live, it's still considered St. Louis metro area, even though it is in Illinois. Last week I talked about doing a show in Dayton, Kentucky at the Carmel Sectuary.

Yeah, yeah. Which is basically Cincinnati and Dusty was raising the question, well, I don't know, like you say- Just across the state line, right? It's like, I live in Hermitage, but I, you know, I still say Nashville because I'm still in Davidson County, right? But it's like, you're in a whole other state. We do. We have that in St. Louis, what he's talking about, where we're from. Uh, I mean, I want to take a slight detour and tell you here

that, uh, if you want to have fun on a weekend in the fall, I do Millstone, Illinois is the most fun you could have, especially if you got kids. They have like one of those, they have apple orchards out there. You got their apple picking, but they have every kind. They have animals, they have games, they have. I took my niece out there. It's the greatest time. They have a corn maze.

It's Nils Dodd, Illinois. That's great. Yeah. You can say this last name's fitting for where he lives. Greenfield. Yeah. Yeah. There's quite a few of those around there. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of corn sweat going on. Corn sweat? You ever heard of corn sweat? Oh yeah. I have not. You know corn sweat? Did we talk about corn sweat? Three people that week had told me about corn sweat.

Yeah. Oh man, you're gonna think saying this is like some sort of hillbilly town. We talked about it on your radio show. Yeah. My feature act, Will O'Donnell told me all about corn sweat and then somebody else told me about I've worked with will many times He's never brought it up. I think it had just come out in the news that week about being a thing I think that's what everybody was talking about. I guess Corn releases a lot of moisture in the air and and therefore the humidity in St. Louis is worse. That's exactly what it is.

Not St. Louis, but the whole Midwest area. Because of corn, a lot of humidity comes from corn. Corn is putting out that moisture. I think that's pesticides. That's what corn is. You would know. They told you this, didn't they? Yeah.

I think on the where you from, I think the further you are from that place, the more reasonable it is to attach yourself to that bigger city. Right? So if you're on a coast, I think it's totally fine for that guy to say St. Louis. If you're not that far, then you're, you know, people are going to be like, Oh, it doesn't count as St. Louis in the same way that if you're overseas, you might just be like, I'm from Missouri or the United States. You go more broad. That's my, that's my policy. Okay. Now, if I lived in Millstead, I would say Millstead every time, greatest weekend of your life in October. But I bet in St. Louis, you tell people what part of

St. Louis you live in. Yeah. Kirkwood. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. When you're, yeah. Yeah. Do you ever feel the need to, I'm sure this is just me, but if I, um, like I remember going to a football game in Knoxville, university, Tennessee, and I saw someone there that I did not know, but they had my hometown of Lebanon, like a sweatshirt on her. And I wanted to go up and say something to them just because, you know what? then, uh, I was in California and someone had a university, Tennessee shirt on same thing. That could have been anywhere, but I just want to say, Hey, whatever. I was in Japan and I just saw a white person and I just assumed they were

American and I wouldn't go and say, Hey, my point is the further you go, just the more generally you want to say something to someone to see if we have a connection. Yeah. Are you with me, Tim? I'm 100% with you. If you're ever on Jupiter, see another Earthling. Just a life form.

You and me, buddy. At that point. It could even be an animal you're familiar with at that point. Yeah. Yeah. An narwh point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. An arwal. Yeah. I would do that. I would, I would, when I lived outside of home, if I'd see a Cardinals hat somewhere, I'd get excited.

And then when I moved back to St. Louis, I was still like doing the thing. I'd be like, Hey! And they'd be like, just everybody. Yeah. What? It's that guy. Cardinals!

I remember in New York city, I went to a sports bar to watch the Titans play. And everybody in there, you know, had Titans. And one guy even had a Nashville sounds, the minor league baseball team. And I went up to him like, Hey, he could care less. They don't care. Well, you got to go to the one cool thing about living in New York City is there's several cool things, but the only cool thing, Tim and I both lived in

New York city at different times, but there was a St. Louis Cardinal bar and we would go to the playoffs or go to Cardinal games there and you do feel like you're in St. Louis. Everybody there is like very friendly and you know you're high-fiving each other, hugging each other. Follies, they're serving St. Louis food. Yeah, and those little pockets in New York for all the different types of that. Yeah, There's a Steeler bar, Chicago, little St. Louis, as they call it. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago, to some degree kind of has, they do have all the big colleges have their own bars. It's pretty cool. Tyler, a bunch of numbers. That's, that's made up love Greg, but that's made up. Love, Greg, but that's made up to love, Greg. But what would you know how many times I've heard that in my life?

I love Greg. But it's usually fun. Are we back in high school? I love you, Greg, as a brother. All right. We're not going to the prom. Well, Greg, but what would rocket him to global hero status is getting his old Jif buddies to sell Jif in tubs like butter tubs.

Too often I pass up making PB and J's because I don't want it all over the knife kitchen and meat. I don't know what the tub saw doesn't solve the knife problem. You know what they do have, which is great for when you have a small child, they have a little packets, little tubes where you just squeeze it out. Yeah, like Gogurt or something. Or just work it out. Care for that.

Just work it out. I'm giving Jeff a compliment. A bunch of numbers. I don't like, I like a traditional jar when they pull that seal off the top. You still use the glass too, don't you? He's like, I just, I can't do it. His kids are like, can you make me a PB&J?

He's like, I don't want PB, I don't want it all over the knife in the kitchen. And lasagna. Now he's probably eating with his hands. Guy like that guy is definitely not using a fork. If he's angry about a knife, the knife for cutting his wrist. I'll say this on this podcast and I want to make a commitment. If you've got some good Jif ideas, like good idea, no offense to a bunch of numbers, but

if you've got some good Jif ideas, I'll take it back. I'll take it to Brazzi. Brazzi's number two guy at Smuckers, which owns Jif. I'll take it to Brazzy. And you know him. We went to college together. He got me the job at Procter & Gamble, helped me get the job at Procter & Gamble.

I mean, I had to get it. The guy that you got in with at the beginning is now essentially running the company. Well, he was at Procter & Gamble, and then he went over when Smuckers recruited him, and he basically runs the whole thing. We're talking peanut butter royalty. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. The guy he reports to, he's the top guy in the company that doesn't have the last name Smuckers, okay? And Brazzy, Brazzy's gonna be there in Columbus when I record my special, he's committed to it. He loves Avon Garko. Him and Mr. Peanut are coming. I just like how Greg said that name as if like that was LeBron James.

Yeah, I'll call Brazzy guys. You know, everyone knows the CPG world is LeBron James. Sean, except for he didn't just come out of high school and do this. He had to do it through sweat, hard work, shaggy knuckles. Not brazi. I'm a fan of brazi. Brazi first name or last name? Last name, John Brazi. Oh, yeah. He's kind of like a Madonna or a share. Yeah, he is.

He is. That's what I thought he was doing. Yeah. Brazi's got sorted to the share Madonna level. One name. Yeah. I know Sean. You ever made a PB and J in bed? Right? Ah, boy. That's a great I will eat it. I will eat the peanut butter in bed with a butter knife and use the butter knife as the fork. And that is rough. You know, I mean, if there was if I could watch myself doing that and then you just you toss it just a nightstand. Don't panic. I got I got the little little paper plate.

That's for all my, you know, for the other stuff I'm eating. And then I'll have wrappers and whatever, and I'll use the fork. Or I'm sorry, the butter knife, and I'll place it on the rappers and then take care of business in the morning. Got a sister. Sick, sick world. I know sick band. Anybody watch any football yesterday? A little bit. Yeah, a little. Yeah.

Watched the watch yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't good, buddy. Yeah. Riding in the car with the Saints fan while they were having the. Trials and wasn't good, buddy. Yeah. Riding in the car with the Saints fan, uh, while they were having the, uh, trials and tribulations of that game, who'd they play? I played the Falcons. Falcons won. Well, let me tell you about draft Kings. You don't draft Kings, Greg. You're going to want to watch every game. I didn't just bring up football. So smooth. Yeah. We could have helped you out there. I didn't know where he's going. That sucked me right in. You can bet on who's going to score the first touchdown.

And in the Buffalo game, Derrick Henry scored on the first play from scrimmage for the Ravens last night. 87 yard touchdown. You won money right there on DraftKings. You know, doesn't matter how they score, just that they score. So if you want to bet on touchdowns, that's the way to go. DraftKings delivers. Doesn't matter how they score just that they score. So if you want to bet on touchdowns, that's the way to go draft Kings delivers It's the official sportsbook partner of the NFL ready to place your first NFL bet

Try betting on something simple like picking a player to score a touchdown Go to draft Kings sportsbook app and make your pick Titans play tonight on Monday night football Two and a half point favorites on the road At Miami, hopefully get off the Schneid. No one cares. Okay. I'm just, I'm just, yeah. Just taking it in.

Gross. You guys were St. Louis, so you don't know NFL football. We have a little bit of a cheap shot. Yeah, it's just, what a jerk. No, you guys beat us in the Superbowl. So still a little upset about it. I remember.

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at nfl.com. How was that? I mean, it's so dusty, but it was really good. It was good. Good draft. Kings delivers and so does Bates. All right. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. That's a sure bet. Brian Bates. That I bet. Come on, man. This isn't the Christie show.

Someday I'll get on the Christie show. You can't get on the Christie show. Nobody can. Drew Robinson. I played football at Opel Ica high school, then Troy University. All right, go dogs. That's where Bestie's from. Oh, to Opel Ica? Yeah. I wanted to use my football knowledge, so I volunteered to help coach the middle school.

I also worked at Jim Bob's Chicken Fingers. That's what I'm talking about. As the kitchen manager. After a few practices, the head coach said, I smelled like what a chicken looks like. So he felt like I didn't have enough time to coach because I was coming from practice to work. Or from work to practice, I think I was supposed to say. I got fired from volunteering due to Jim Bob's smell.

Wow. Is that, is Chicken Fingers just a big thing in Alabama? We, and in Opelika, Auburn area, we have a lot of chicken finger restaurants. A ton, right? We have a lot. I mean, there's like there's Guthrie's, Tender Chick, Jim Bob's. It was, you know, this Chick-fil-A. There's a Niffers. There's so there's a breeze way. What's the big chain, uh, raging, raising canes, raising canes.

Oh, we have a game there. I think before canes. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't, I don't know where Cain's was at in other places, but Guthrie's is a real mainstay of the area. I mean, Cain's is, would have just come in in the last couple of years to our area. OK, OK. Now, you know, maybe I don't know where Keynes is from.

Where is it? It's from Louisiana. It might be. I just remember the first time I worked Birmingham long time ago. They were they were, you know, telling me about all the. Yeah, I think it's from New Orleans. There was no raising Keynes down in Opec, Auburn area. Now there may be now. Now, does it? You're just talking chicken was no Raisin Canes down in Opelak Auburn area. Okay. There may be now. Now, Dusty, you're just talking chicken fingers exclusively. You're talking everything in the chicken world.

Chicken wings. These are all chicken finger restaurants, but they got some other options. They'll mix up a little bit. Yeah, they got some other, but they're pushing the chicken fingers. That's the go-to. That's what you're coming in for is the chicken fingers. I would think that's a pleasant smell. Yeah.

I love it. But this is- Maybe he was hustling too hard. a pleasant smell. Yeah. I love it. But this is- Maybe he was hustling too hard. I know Drew. I think, yeah, I know Drew and- Oh, you do know him? Yeah. And we didn't go to school together.

We've met, you know, later. Yeah. But he, yeah, I mean, that's a shame. You know, I never was trying to coach football, so when I worked at Jim Bob's, the smell never affected my personal life. You know, that guy got fired from volunteering. He just needed to cut an onion, man. That would have probably. Yeah.

That's the move. Or bring some Jim Bob's to football practice. Yeah, that's probably. That's probably the move. Because if somebody smells like a food that you don't like, if you give them some of that and they eat it now They don't even smell it. Yeah, right. That was the move. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm drew you messed up Let's do one more then we'll get into the topic. Gabe what? I'm a third shift Columbus police officer and I'd be thrilled to offer Greg or any of the Nate Land crew to come to a

Ride along with me while they're in town work 11 p.m. To 7 a.m But you don't have to do the entire shift. You don't want to just come here. He comes down. Yeah, it's gay. Just coming to roll call and a few calls would be a great experience for any of you. What do you think, Greg? Man, I would really like to do that.

That is a tricky weekend because of the special a lot going on. So a lot of these, I had a similar offer and going on. So I don't know if I'm- A lot of these, I had a similar offer. And I'm like, I don't, you know what? I appreciate it, but I'm not into riding around in the police car. It's a late night too. You've done it plenty in your life.

Well, I've done it enough to know that I don't really wanna be doing it. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind going to the roll call thing, but it just may be that I really appreciate the offer. Just maybe a tricky weekend. Now I'm in, I may be that I really appreciate the offer. This may be a tricky weekend. Now I'm in, I'm in, I'll skip the special and I count me in for everything. I mean, heck, people already think I steal from grocery stores. So I need to get a little juicier.

That's a really weird question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that you say that people think, and then you're go, Hey guys, you'd be stealing from the article that people, that people of this country steal from I'd like to at least read the next comment at least the first part all right go ahead it says this is from Cameron and Mandy Scott my wife and I had a chance to see Dusty and Indy haven't laughed

that hard in ages it was a hot show we could do the rest of it but that's really what I wanted that's what you're trying to get out yeah he. He had a joke and reference the shopping cart, but called it a buggy. Just curious is that a southern thing? Yeah, it is. That's a great one. Yeah. I like to. Yeah, I call it a buggy. I don't know. St. Louis is on the on the line if you guys are like really southern, right? We were both sides on the war. Yeah.

So, you know, yeah. So you're there's no buggy. You don't call it buggy, though. But I heard it before. I think first person I heard call it a buggy was comedian don't call it buggy, though. But I heard it before. I think first person I heard call it a buggy was comedian Rodney Carrington. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Well, why would you want to call it a shopping cart when you could just call it a bug?

I love it. Buggy's better. Buggy's great. Yeah. But why did you why did you not want to read that comment? Said all those nice things about Dusty. I just didn't feel like we had time. OK. I'm glad I'm glad you fit in. Dusty gets enough good presses. Yeah, well. All right. So today, guys, we all live comment to comment out here.

We get it really. Yeah, I think we all do. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're always as good as your last comment. Yeah. I'll cut you hard. I can't wait to see these. I'm already. Yeah. Today, they're going to say, they're going to say, get rid of Tim Convy from the podcast. They're going to say, he's not on the podcast. It'd be like hire him and then get him off the podcast. Yeah. You guys take a topic each, a brand or business each week, right? The first one was Duncan. Yeah. So we thought we would, you know, follow in the footsteps and today we're talking about

Whole Foods. Love it. Now Whole Foods is very interesting to me because- We are talking about the grocery store, not just Whole Foods in general. Whatever you would talk about. It's about the brand, Whole Foods Markets. Whole Foods is a very interesting store to me because you've got all your workout freak, health uppity type people. Yeah. And then you got the Dusties of the world that you know, survivalists that just want to, you know, get some off the grid kind of food. Well, I'm not entirely convinced that Whole Foods is serving us up the best of the best,

but I do feel like in the grocery store world, that's your best option. This is one of my favorite quotes. It was from the Texas Monthly, which Whole Foods started down in Austin. I read it every week. It says, uh, uh, an honorable truce between two old enemies, health food stores and supermarkets. That's what whole foods was. Wow. Yeah, I like it. Yeah.

Back in the day, man, it was like, they didn't, you know, it's like, oh, well, that's poison that they have there. We, we, you know, and then they were in like their little tiny places with the seeds and the oils and weirdos and, uh, yeah. John Mackey was like that. You said Texas monthly. You said, uh, you said, uh, you said, uh, you said, uh, you said, uh, you said, uh, And then they were in like their little tiny places with the seeds and the oils and weirdos and yeah, John Mackie was there. I liked that you said Texas Monthly,

you said I read it weekly. Weekly. I caught it. Thank you. Like it just takes a while. I didn't even catch it. Yeah, you're gonna get a lot of that on the podcast. I say something funny and Greg just keeps on going.

Yeah, and on that one, man, I missed it. It was very funny, but I got to tell you, usually it's just not worth stopping for. How would you know? You miss them all. Yeah. Well, yeah. Read the comments afterwards. You're going to see. You'll lull me. You'll lull me to sleep with all the dumb ones. So when you say something good, I just don't get it. Yeah. You know, that's on me completely. Yeah. And you really take taking on the Nate role really quick Oh, oh, yeah It's like Nate talking to me right now

Yeah, I mean there's a little back and forth on this There's a little back and forth from the podcast and a lot of back and forth right after the. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got a little weird after the third episode after Greg chokeslam me. But I've done that. Talk about like violence. I've never was a Bill mafia. He probably liked it. Yeah, you caught it there.

Yeah. I mean, going through tables, I'll do it. If we win Super Bowl. No, Greg gets a little I can just get under his skin a little more than the average person. I'm not proud of it, but I do. I also don't want to get him upset. I mean, this guy was an American wrestler and he could destroy it. I would never do that. Yes, but I could, I could get it out of you. Also, you know, 56. If he decided that he wanted you to assault him, he could, he could crack the code. You think he could make me hit him? I absolutely think so. Hunter. Or, or no, just a single leg takedown. I don't think you would strike him. I think you would, you'd wrestle. Yeah. I say we do it right here. I don't think this is the spot. This table looks like, yeah,

if you want it to, yeah, if you go through this, that hurts. Yeah. But you know how like in wrestling with the announcers and they'll slam them through and you're like, that table was, must've barely been set up. Yeah. It a press board. They're like cut. I mean this table looks nice. This table is. This is gonna hurt. This is yeah. We've got a nice set. We're proud of our set on the uh. Yeah. We got a lot of product on our uh. Oh yeah. Yeah we got we got about uh 84 jars of jif and 100 cans of Pringles and we got some ketchup and mustard and coke and diet coke. You gotta eat before you do the podcast because you're just staring at food. Oh yeah. We got a lot of that. People were pretty irritated. The last one you were here and we had Pringles and we were all eating them during the podcast. So several people

pretty irritated. They were mad about that? About the chip crunching going on. Okay. Yeah, I can see that. Well, I'm trying to think if we've done, well, we did eat some Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, we eat. We definitely eat. The donuts are not not gonna be as bad as the True. Yeah, that's we're gonna do a Pringles episode, but I I love the store Whole Foods. I'm a big fan of it Yeah, I love that store. Well, you it feels good. I just say like five minutes ago No, I'm saying I just you know, you can't you can't trust anything now that it's like But he's saying if you had to pick one, that's the best out of all. It's just, it feels good in there.

Uh, I used to feel like when I first started going to Whole Foods, I felt like everybody was judging me in there, but I'm over that. I'm over that now. No, it's not that I just used to think that, but now I'm like, I'm, I go and I get a, I go buy a bunch of healthy stuff. And then before I leave, I get a couple of slices of pizza. And then I'm out of there. Yeah, that's a go stuff. The whole foods pizza.

I use it as a restaurant on the road. Yeah. I use it as a restaurant. Yeah. You mind if I talk a little bit about the history? We do that sometimes on the podcast. I do mind actually. Me and you together maybe?

I guess. Sure. I'd love to know a little bit about it. It's kind of a thing, but whatever. Go ahead, man. I don't want to step on your head. No, let's hear about it. I'm going I'm saying, but whatever. All right, no, go ahead, man. I don't want to step on your... No, it's here. I'm going to chime in.

This is a special episode where we've come together. Yeah. Yeah. I used to love crossover episodes as a kid. Bionic Woman and $60 Million Man when they got together. Yeah, Fantasy Island and Worldboat. That's way back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's way back. What are you talking about? Bionic Woman. That's why I was looking at Greg. That's the reason he has me on this podcast, man. It's like a turn for a minute. Because he's not the old guy when I'm talking about it. That's why I was looking at Greg. That's the reason he has me on this podcast. It's like a turn for a minute. He's not the old guy when I'm here. Well, I mean, the fantasy island and love boat again.

They do crossovers? Nick at night or? Lonnie Anderson was on that, I believe. No kidding. It was reruns on Nick at Night when I was a kid and it was old. Like even the Nick at Night reruns are old now. You're right. You're right. You're right. Let's hear about the history. Yeah, let's hear about it. John Mackey is the central figure in this history. John, as a kid, ate Cocoa Puffs, hamburger, Fox Mac and cheese, dropped out of college.

And he got in with some vegetarians. He started hanging out with vegetarians down in Austin and he wasn't a vegetarian. He just liked the sort of counter culture world that vegetarians back then, you know, it was probably early seventies. It wasn't as prevalent as it is today. They were punk rock back then.

They were, they were. Exactly. And yeah, they were exactly. And yeah, it was cool and hip. And then he started, uh, started being a vegetarian and he thought this was the way to go. And he asked his girlfriend if she would start a, a, a health food restaurant with her and, uh, they, they opened it together. It was called safer way. Now safer way is like a spoof on Safeway. Okay. Is basically, you know, making fun of-

They're sticking it to Safeway. They're sticking it to the Safeway, which was the big change. Which is Albertsons now, I believe, right? I don't know if Safeway and Albertsons- I think there's still some Safeways out there. I think, no, Safeways are still there. Oh, okay.

Yeah, and specifically- I thought they became Albertsons. I don't think Albertsons and Safeway are the same. Okay. Albertsons in, I can't remember who they bought. So they opened this, this Saferway and they lived in this apartment and they were keeping too much of their health food stuff in the apartment and their landlord was like,

you guys can't be doing this. And he kicked them out of their apartment. So they moved into the grocery store. Him and his girlfriend moved into the grocery store and the grocery store. I liked this girlfriend. She seems to be down with whatever she's great. Yeah. Renee Lawson Hardy. She, she was, she, unfortunately she didn't make it through the whole thing, but I think she, I think she got paid. Okay. But, um, are there showers in a bathroom at a grocery store? Here's the thing, man. There were no showers.

There were no showers in their health food store. So they used the dishwasher to bathe. You know it, man. I mean, look, they had some cascade, put it on hot, and there you go. Yeah, that's how they took baths. Now listen. Jack Black.

This is, yes. This is 1970s Austin, Texas hippies. They probably weren't showering that much anyway. Okay. All right. Yeah. You know, it probably wasn't a thing. So they got into it and they eventually merged with the Clarksville Natural Grocery and they did the first whole food store and they had to make some concessions because he was a vegetarian and they're like, Hey, if we go make this big new whole food store, we're going to have to have meat. The other guy Foods store. And they had to make some concessions because he was a vegetarian and they were like, hey, if we go make this big new Whole Foods store, we're gonna have to have meat. The other guy said that and he was like,

all right, I'll do it. And man, that thing took off. In Austin, Texas, that first one. Back in the day, hippies drove a lot of, what are the Volkswagen bugs? Oh yeah, the Beatles. The Beatles, yeah. And they said that people thought that it was a VW Beetle dealership

because there were so many of them in the parking lot. Oh yeah. Because that's what all the hippies, and they had a flood early on, 1981. They had a flood and it wiped out the whole store. Everything, everything went down and they were like, he's like, Mac, he was like, I don't have the kind of money. It's $400,000 to reopen this.

And the community loved Whole Foods so much that they all showed up for like three months and rebuilt the store. Wow. And that's- 28 days. 28 days? Yeah. 28 days.

You love it a lot. If Whole Foods went down to a flood now, would you get over there and be- Well, now Jeff Bezos owns it. And what would you do? What business would you go work for free? Zanies. We all probably. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Well, I would I would show up and I'd be there the whole time.

Mm hmm. But I probably wouldn't do a lot. Yeah. Like encouraging, like, keep it up. Make it look like I got I got this stuff over here. You guys. Yeah. Yeah. Like encouraging, like keep it up. I'm probably making it look like, I got it. I got this stuff over here. You guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That must've really loved it because. Yeah, they did. They did. And you know, they built it on, they said this is a company that's dedicated to organic foods that are free from artificial preservatives, flavors, colors, and hydrogenated oils. That was sort of their big thing. colors and hydrogenated oils. That was sort of their their big thing. I've heard some pretty cool quotes. I told you one of them. They said visit by visit, you get a master's degree in food. Wow. I thought that was kind of a cool one. This was from Mackie, which I think is a little,

little much. It's gonna look cocky. Little retailers with a mission. We're missionaries who retail. Okay. Taking yourself a little too serious. Yeah, take it easy. Pull it back a little bit. Yeah, come right on that one. Especially like, what if you're a real missionary and you say, yeah, buddy, I'm in a hut in Timbuktu. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and I just ate potatoes for seven days straight and you're not a missionary. Yeah, it's like, you can just say, hey, we just have a grocery store and we're trying to provide better food for people. You don't have to go to be in the Messiah. I agree, yeah. Yes, people are saving souls.

Yeah, you're like- And you're trying to cut back on ancient animals. You're just like, yeah, I just want you to eat some food without poisoning it. They built into the business they are today, which I think is like 500 stores, primarily by acquisition. They just bought up a lot of health food store chains. One that they got was this place called Wild Oats. And I do remember some Wild Oats stores. This was sort of early 2000s. And the FTC stopped in and said, you can't do this. Partially because Mackie, who is a pretty cool guy, but he

does like everybody else. You know, you have both sides. He was on message boards on Yahoo Finance, basically with like a fake name saying stuff like the end is underway for wild oats. Oh, man. He was he was basically the original troll. Right. Yeah. Well, he's trying to but he was trying to take him trolls. Just do it to make classic missionary moves. Yeah.

Sounds like something Mother Teresa would be doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mother Teresa was trolling. Yeah. Just saying these lepers are not for real. But he does do some cool stuff. I thought one of the most interesting things he's done at Whole Foods when he owned it was he had open salaries. What's that mean?

Everybody everybody knows. If you wanna know what everybody's making, you can just ask. Look it up. Look it up. You can ask, don't mean they'll tell you. No, they tell you. Okay. It's published.

Whole Foods tells you. Yeah, Whole Foods, they'll tell you. And he said basically once everybody be like, hey, how come Tim's making 19 an hour and I'm making 17 an hour? And he'd be like, cause Tim's better at this than you. And if you want to get as good as Tim,

here's what you need to do. That was his thing. Wow. It's also, cause you go, the stores you go to, you can look it up too. So I look up before I go in there and then I'm like, Hey man, you're making about 18 an hour. Cause you helped me find some, like I'll identify the guy

in there and just motivate them a little bit too. But they are like usually really helpful there. The attitude feels good and a whole good attitude. Yeah. Like you're all doing something positive and you get a little bit of that hippie vibe is still in there when you're into that for sure. Yeah.

Another cool thing they used to do sort of before Amazon, but one of the cool things that they did over a long time, they would find like a local little brand. There's one called Nada Moo. Tim, you're a vegetarian. So you know that? It's like a vegan ice cream. They found, they would just find it.

It's good. In like a little local place and he'd go, hey, I'm gonna put you in Whole Foods. We're gonna make you a superstar. It was almost like the music business. Like he made that company. Now, since Amazon bought them, less of that goes on. Some good stuff goes on with Amazon,

but there's some bad stuff. Like there was a cheese company, I think it was called Atlanta Fresh down in Georgia. And back when John owned it, he was like, hey, listen, man, we want you guys to be big. You're gonna be the cheese. And built this new facility. So they built this, you know, multim-million dollar facility and they were supplying whole foods.

And then Amazon at some point was like, you're out, which now that they went belly up. So, but yeah, they would make like superstars out of a little, little, little business. And you always see those in whole foods. You see like there's the little shelf with something you've never heard of. That's that's great. And it's one those in whole foods. You see like there's the little shelf with something you've never heard of. That's that's great. And it's one of those that they just picked. I remember one time I had really bad acid reflux

probably because I was eating too fast. And Dusty and I were doing a show at stand up live in Huntsville and the whole way down, I was like, man, my acid reflux is killing me. And Dusty took me to whole foods and got some stuff that he uses, some digestive enzymes. Yeah. Digestive enzymes.

Papaya digestive enzymes, just chewables. Yeah. Dude, I live my life some digestive enzymes, digestive enzymes, papaya, digestive enzymes, just chewables. Yeah, dude. I live my life on digestive. You talk about probiotics. Is that what you're saying? This is totally different. You take your test of enzymes. Dr. Olivia has given you some of them.

I know there's like there's so many that whole world. Yeah, I was it. I mean, I don't remember it. I still have acid reflux, but it's been a while. So yeah, it's not a cure it. But if you got it have acid reflux, but it's been a while. So yeah, it's not, it's not gonna cure it. But if you got, it's like taking Tums, but it's not bad. When his son was born, we took food over to their house and we went to Whole Foods

because we knew that they like healthy food and it was delicious, right? So good. Yeah. And it was, we really appreciate that. That's cool. Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. No, buddy. Am I doing all right on this? Yeah, you're doing great. Also, now with the food delivery, if I'm at a hotel for a couple of days, now what I do, I know what hotel I'm going to. I'll just get on my phone. I'll order a few

groceries from Whole Foods. And then when I, by the time I get to my hotel, it's already there. Take it up to the room. That's genius. On the road, you do this? Yeah. And then start doing this. And then it's like, you know, if I, if I don't eat it, I just take it home with me and then we end up eating it. But I spend a way less money on the road because I'm not eating at a restaurant every meal. Yeah. I got to do this, man. I got to do this Uh, we do a little thing. Uh, we, we usually kick it over to Tim for fun facts. All right. You guys want some? It's very exciting. Let's hear it. Uh, 51%. They're not always fun. No, man, we'll find out. We shall find out. I'm looking forward

to some. They're not even always facts. Yeah. Yeah. They're neither. Buckle up. Here we go. 51% of certified cheese professionals worldwide come from Whole Foods. Only 1,000 people have ever passed the American Cheese Society Certification Exam. Pretty fun so far, right? What does that mean now? Well, I'm glad you asked, Dusty.

It's like the bar exam for cheese pros. Oh, okay. Okay, it's just as hard. The exam is given once a year in Richmond, Texas. In order to take the cheese exam, you have to have 4,000 hours of paid or unpaid work in the cheese business. 4,000?

You have to come in with 4,000 hours. They won't even let you take the test. And over half of the people who take the test are just employed by Whole Foods. Wow. In the world. In the whole world. 4,000 hours in the cheese game, paid or unpaid.

That's up to you. We don000 hours in the cheese game, paid or unpaid. That's up to you. We don't know what constitutes cheese experience, right? Domino's maybe. I have no idea. You're slinging cheese. If you're making pizza, does that count as cheese? I think you have to be at a cheese store or something. Yeah, cause like, uh, cheese at a pizza place is not good cheese. It may taste good, but it's not good. Yeah. It's like a New York pizzeria probably. In Italy, I bet. Maybe.

In Italy, yeah. I bet it's the best cheese you can get. I mean, can you imagine 4,000 hours and then you flunk the cheese exam? It's got to be like the LSAT or something. Well, I was just thinking, if you worked 40 hours a week, that's roughly 160 hours a month to get to 4,000. It's a good part of your life just to be able to sit and take that exam and then, you know, probably not a lot of people pass it.

No. Sean? No. No, man. Didn't you flunk the real estate thing like three times? It's 100 weeks, like two years. It's what? Two years. Is that what it comes out to? It's 100 weeks, like two years. It's what? Two years.

That's what it comes out to. I had 100 weeks, we were 40 hours a week. Yeah, 50,000. That's two years. That's a long time to do cheese. But I want my cheese to be good. You know, I respect it. Yeah.

I want good cheese. Yeah. You don't want some clown. There's only a thousand. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want people out here who's just like, oh no, I make cheese, as I know, but how much time have you put in? Yeah, are you certified?'t want people out here who's just like, oh no, I make cheese as I know, but how much time have you put in?

Yeah, are you certified? Yeah. You know, so let me some of the questions on that test. Yeah, I don't know. We'll have to take a look. When Aaron comes back next week, the laptop will look. Okay. So that means 510.

Did I do the math right there? Yeah, yeah, exactly. A thousand people have ever passed the exam. Yeah. And 51, 510. I would think the people that make cottage cheese have never passed the test. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

That's another food in bed. That's a lot of fun. She's a big old spoon in your bucket. I can't even look at it. Yeah, I can't either. I had a table. I was waiting tables one time and a guy asked me, it's the first I had ever heard this. He goes, do you have like cottage cheese that I could just have on the side?

And I was like, what? Yeah, my buddy, though, he used to we would go drink and then I think he would go home and eat cottage cheese. I'm with him. Yeah, I enjoy it. That's not drinking. So gross. I don't know. My buddy, Derek, he would he said he would go home and eat cottage cheese. I'm with him. Yeah, I enjoy it. That's not drinking. So gross. I don't know. My buddy Derek, he would,

he said he would go home and eat cottage cheese. Yeah, the key has been you have to have a whole milk one. I noticed that. Yeah. Fat free cottage cheese. That's a rough day. Yeah. That's a rough day.

But whole whole milk cottage cheese was good. We had it as a kid, like growing up my day. Let me put pepper on it. And I thought that was very unorthodox, but I don't know. Maybe that's what people do. So whole foods is a great place to work. Fortune's best 100 companies to work for 17 years straight. That's as long as they've been doing it.

People love working there. Whole foods employees get a 20% discount at the store. That is significant, but it can go up to 30% your discount depending on your cholesterol level. So they encourage you to be healthy. If you're that much healthier, then they'll, they'll cut you a deal. Wow. What if you have like, uh, genetically, you know, like my little brother, he's got high cholesterol, but he's had his whole life. It's not his fault, man. 20%, yeah, man. Rules are rules. Yeah. Rules are rules. They're like, hey,

if you want to get the discount, get it down. Yes, exactly. He can't though. I mean, I don't think he can't. I don't think there's any lifestyle that he can't. There's gotta be some arbitration or something to be able to get my brother this extra 10% off. Whole Foods is it. He can get into the cheese game, make the money that way. Okay.

Uh, have you guys ever been to the Austin flagship store? You know, I went to a Whole Foods in Austin, but I don't know if it was the long way. You would, you would know. It is enormous. It is, have you ever been to like a huge Bass Pro Shop? Yeah. I was just in Austin.

I wish I knew that was there. I would have went. There's a Bass Pro Shop inside the Whole Foods. That's how big it is. No, it is, it's enormous. You can ice skate on the roof. There are all kinds of different restaurants and stuff, even within the-

I was just in Austin. Yeah, it's real, real cool. Live music and like different parts of it, it's pretty cool. And then they have some things that are unique to different locations. Whole Foods in Westport, Connecticut, they give two team members every month,

they're the king and queen of customer service. If they do a really good job, they make them king and queen of customer service. And their reward is that each of them gets two minutes to sprint around the store and just take as many things as they want. They're on a time or yes, supermarkets, sweep styles, two minutes, go for it and a whole foods. I say you go right for the supplement aisle. Yeah. Yeah. Just take the shelf and dump it. Yeah. Right. Yes. You just go for the probiotics. 5,000 right there. Yeah. Yeah. 5,000 bucks by just taking your arm and going like that in the supplement aisle.

That's what I thought. I bet you they don't let you do that. Yeah. They say it's food. Yeah. Or you have exclusions. I bet they let you go for it. You're the king and the queen. They would all know. Yeah. I think it would be really nice to people this month. Like what would you do with them all though? Put them on eBay or sell them. Yeah. Just resell them. Yeah.. I mean I wouldn't do that. I'd go by the rules but I...

Sean would steal them in the first place. I mean let's just go with it at this point. Sean took them to the checkout. I'm already looking dirty. Yeah. Obviously they're all about health but a Dallas Whole Foods store for some time sold American Spirit cigarettes. All right. I like that. Yeah. I guarantee you at some point Mackey was like, hey man, we encourage a little bit of local flair, but no, you can't be selling cigarettes. Those are the healthy cigarettes. Yeah, but they're still cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, in two stores, uh, one in Maine, one in Massachusetts, only two stores to sell live lobster. So they sell live lobsters in the Whole Foods in individual tanks. When purchased, Whole Foods uses a shocker to kill them because they don't want them boiling in pots. So it still comes from the place of vegetarianism,

but certain things that he's like selling out and making money, but they have different policies. For example, they're shocking lobsters. Which is a punk band I was in for. Yeah, I like that. Sh shocking lobsters, which is a punk band I was in. Yeah, like that. Also, we did not make the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. They're early stuff was strong.

Hmm. Fun. Pretty fun facts. Why is it pretty good? I think so. I got one too. This one, this one cracked me out, man. I don't know. Maybe you will remember this dust.

You remember they used to put at Whole Foods, they would have asparagus water. Yeah. This is real. Is that a veteran? Go in. That is, well, that's a good question. Let's go to dust in that. A tree. They put three stocks in water,

bottle it, sell it for like nine bucks. Wow. I don't remember that. Did not move well. And you know, I'm just like, well, yeah, maybe, you gotta eat. I think the marketing was like, if I just drink the water, I might get all the nutrients from this. You gotta eat the asparagus as well. That's part of the deal.

Now, I don't know, I guess maybe it just enhances the water, obviously, but it was, this was real. Look it up, and I think it bombed. This is like you were saying at the beginning. They are tricking us to a degree. They were trying to make people think, oh, look at this healthy new fad.

Like they just invented it. It didn't work at all. And then it went viral. It is a girl who it turns out my wife went to college with posted somewhere Whole Foods execs are laughing at us in that picture and it went viral. It went big and then they pulled it, they stopped doing it. And then that girl spun it into a career.

She has a career now where she will make up hashtags for your wedding. You know how people have clever wedding hashtags? People with too much money pay her to make up a hashtag for their wedding. And it all came because she called out the asparagus one. Wow. That's more of a shakedown than the asparagus one. I know! of a shakedown than the asparagus. I know.

She learned from the asparagus. Completely other way. Yes. I remember a chia seed water. It was a glass bottle and it was chia seeds, but when you put chia seeds in water, it gets a little little sprout clear kind of membrane around it. So it's almost like little eggs in there. Really? I had a what's the chia pet? The oh, yeah, the pottery thing. Yeah, it's not healthy. Yeah, it isn't.

All right. Well, I think I think we got to start wrapping up because Zanies has a show. Oh, yeah. Look out. So I really enjoy you guys play off each other really well. This podcast, you were pointing to Tim and Sean. We do play off each other really well. Ryan, thank you. No, all three of you.

And you guys are great. I'm going to start tuning in. Which? Which one of you is Nate? No, he's not here today. No, he's with Christie. It is. He's on the Christie show. That's who he is on the Christie show. To promote SNL. Saturday night live before you can get on the Christie show. It ain't happening. Thank you. What shows you got coming up?

Coming up, I'm going to be at the Greg's Columbus thing. I'll be in- This weekend. This weekend. I'm in Chicago. Oh, it's coming out. Oh yeah. I'm in Chicago at Zany's with Greg. I've got Ludo shows, Haludo Ween at the Pageant in St. Louis, three nights the weekend before St. Louis. And then yeah, Punk Rock Christmas, which I talked about is first weekend in December at the pageant in St. Louis as well. This Friday, I am in Knoxville, Tennessee at Allie Rae's Gastropub. I think you guys just did that. Oh, that place is great.

Sean and I just did it. Oh yeah, nice. Yeah, that was good. That was fun. Good food too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why didn't you take Tim? It was the rare occasion where Sean and I were getting along.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, along. I gotta wait for them to... Very peaceful. Well, this Friday, come to Ali Ray's Gastropub in Knoxville, Tennessee. Greg says it's great. Yeah, the food's awesome. In the comedy. October 17th, I am at Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia. Oh, that's a good one.

Okay, I've never been. I've never been either. I've heard it's great, though. You ever that's a good one. Okay. I've never been. So I've never been either. I've heard it's great though. You're been dusty. Never been. Well, I'll DC basically. Yeah, it is. It's like Millstand, Illinois.

It's basically the same thing. October 19th, Clarksville, Tennessee has a new comedy club. Joker's Comedy House. I'm going to be headlining there. All right. That sounds fun. That DJ Pryor.

Yep. All right. That sounds fun. That DJ Pryor. Yep. All right. Yeah. Yeah. And October 25th, I am in Lebanon, Pennsylvania at Lifeway Church. All fun shows. Looking forward to it. Awesome. Yeah. What about you? This weekend, I will be at Zanies Rosemont. That's a suburb of Chicago. Got to play a giant arena there with Nate a few months ago.

I'm going to a little smaller venue. That club's great though. It's awesome. It's a beautiful club. It's really fun. And Tim's gonna be there with me. So yeah, can't wait. And then I got a bunch of shows,

but most importantly on November 23rd, my friend Tim made me move my special to Columbus, Ohio. And I got to fill that place. So I hope to see some, some Nate Land fans. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Big weekend this Friday, Macon, Georgia, the Grand Opera House. I've never done comedy in Mac making that I'm aware of.

So I'm very pumped about it. It's great. It's gonna be great. And then making that a bit of a hometown show for me. I'll be in Charleston, South Carolina at the Gale Yard Center on Saturday, October 5th. So I've already sold a lot of tickets to that, but the Gale Yard is a lot bigger than what I normally do.

So percentage wise doesn't look as good, but if I were doing the old theater that I normally do in Charleston, we would have already sold out plus, but it's a bigger, bigger room. But very exciting. If nobody else buys tickets, it's still a very exciting show. So I'm pumped about it. Who autographed your beach nut chewing tobacco? Actually a guy sent this to me and that was on there when they sent it. An autograph? Is that what that is? Yeah, I just, I don't know. I just got the hat the other day in my post office box. So I don't know what that is. Okay. I just make

sure you didn't autograph your own hat. No, somebody sent it to me and I should have, you know. I think it looks like a symbol more. I think Prince autographed it. Yeah me and I should have, you know, it looks like a symbol. I think Prince. Yeah. And I should have, you know, they wrote a note. I should have brought and said their name, but it's a great hat. Yeah, that's a thick hat. Yeah. It's a winter hat. Right. Cardinal red almost. Yes. Yeah, it is.

I wore it for St. Louis. There you go. Thanks. You guys. I know you guys would be here. Yeah. What about you, Sean? This weekend, Thursday through Sunday, St. Charles, Funny Bone, say when you played. Thanks. Thanks. I knew you guys would be here. Yeah. What about you, Sean? This weekend, Thursday through Sunday, St. Charles Funny Bone. Same one you played. Yeah. And St. Charles. Yeah. And then I think a few weeks after, Greg has taken me with him to Michigan.

Detroit. Detroit. Ooh. And Kansas City. Kansas City as well. Yeah. Kansas City, Detroit with Greg, as long as he might fire me. I don't know. I get him angry a lot, so we'll see. You know, it's the next. TBD, I could be there. I'm feeling pretty good about it. We got to see. Yeah, we've reached a new level in our relationship. That's great.

Ah, the consumers every Tuesday. First one's out now. First one's out. Three best comics in St. Louis to Will O'Donnell and Will come on with that. That's great. I believe the next is Lego. Yeah. Deep dive on Lego. We ate those too. Yeah. Very weird. Yeah. Tough to eat in bed.

All right, guys. That's the show. Nate, uh, Nate's not going to be back next week. He's got more things going on, but we should probably say what he's doing this weekend, right? I thought I mentioned it, but he's hosting Saturday Night Live. Did I not mention it before? I think we did. But yeah, it's a big deal. I was saying, I wonder who the band is. Oh yeah. It's like one of the biggest in the world. Yeah. Pretty big. Aaron should be back next week. I can't wait to hear more about the baby.

See some pictures. But they're doing great. So he says thank you to everybody for the thoughts and prayers. All right. I should be here because where else would I be? So I don't know. Sean, Greg, Tim, loved having you. Yeah, thanks, guys. Thanks so much. Thanks very much, man. All right., loved having you. Yeah. Thanks guys.

Thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks very much, man. All right. We're having a good time. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the Audio Boom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.