The Nateland Podcast - 247: #247 Coffee featuring Steven Rogers

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Nate is in Europe so this week the guys are joined by friend and fellow comedian Steven Rogers. Dusty gets upset at an umpire for a blown call from 15 years ago,  Aaron gets support from a neurologist, and Brian has a unique pronunciation of the word "equator." Plus the guys learn all about coffee from its start in Ethiopia to its spread to the United States. Check out Steven Rogers' special 'Half of We' released on the Nateland YouTube this Friday, April 11! Chubbies: Chubbies.com/nate Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code [nate] at Chubbies.com/nate #chubbiespod #ad Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nate Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash/NATE today! Delete Me: joindeleteme.com/Nate Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/NATE and use promo code NATE at checkout. This episode is sponsored by Better Help- BetterHelp.com/Nate Give online therapy a try with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/NATE to get 10% off your first month. #ad

All right. Hello folks and hey bear. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. My name is Dusty Slea and I'm here with my renowned co-host, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and special guest and best friend, Steven Rogers. Hi. You guys used all of them.

I didn't know what, the obvious one I didn't want to do. That was a good time. Yeah, I felt like that wasn't mine to tell. Nah, I feel free to throw it in. It was all solid. People get mad that I do Dusty's. Yeah. I want't want to do. We're having a good time. Yeah, I felt like that wasn't mine to tell. No, I feel free to throw it in. It was all solid. People get mad that I do Destes. Yeah. I want to start off good.

He's done it for so long that people are like, you're just doing this thing now. Yeah. They don't like it. No, I had to switch words. What are you saying? I say, okay, because he started doing all right. I just did.

You started off all right, so I go, okay. When I get to command in the beginning, I go, I take my all right. So I had to start going. You started off all right, so I go, okay. Yeah, well, when I get to command in the beginning, I go, I take my word back. You keep trademarking routine phrases, dude. I'm not gonna be able to say anything. You're not allowed to wave. You're not allowed to say, we're having a good time. Look, dude, and I can't stand, I can't put a hand behind my back, I can't wave,

I can't do anything. You're like a little teapot when you do that. Yeah. I used to say, get her done all the time. Yeah. Before Larry. Yeah. Yeah, we all did.

Just common, you know, just common phrases. That's what I like to do. I like to take all the regular things. I heard you started saying, have a nice day. Yeah, I did. I actually told the first person that said we're having a nice day to say we're having a nice day to say we're all excited to be here.

The Nashville Comedy Fest is going on. I'm wearing that last year's hat. Aaron has the updated version 2025. Oh yeah. We're very excited about it. It's in full swing as this podcast is coming out. There's a lot going on. A lot of big podcasts have been using this studio.

Yeah. And Stephen Rogers, our guest, has a new special out on Nate Land called Stephen Rogers, Half of We. It's not out yet. It's not out yet. When's it come out, Stephen? It comes out this Friday. OK.

Yeah. It's all right. April 11. But get in there early. It'll be in full swing. Yes. I don't want to say it. Yeah.

That is a thing I say, though. Yeah. All right, I can't say it. Yeah. Yeah. That is a thing I say though. All right, I can't say it anymore. You're taking all the like bumper stickers. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I don't know any of them. Save up.

Yeah, there we go. Save up, yeah. So there's that. So tell us about the special. You taped it where? I taped it at the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado. Really fun club. Good time. I've never been, but David Rodriguez, friend of mine.

Very nice guy. Very funny. Yes. Very funny. Runs an amazing room. Any room that's created by comics or people that know comedy really well. It's either the worst or it's great. That's true. Yeah. It's one of those. It's either the worst or it's great. That's true, yeah. It's one of the good ones. It's a beautiful room.

They have this stool that is like from like a chopped down tree, so it's like this thick. Oh, it's like a stump. Yeah, it's like a stump stool. I like that. Like a thick stool. Yeah. Like the giving stool, yeah.

I can't say that anymore. Yeah. That's another thing. You read the giving tree. Remember that book? Yes. I know about it. And then at the end, he's okay. I don't know it. So I don't get the joke. This guy knows about a lot of books. Shell Silverstein. I mean, this book has maybe 18 words total in it.

Yes. Oh, maybe I have read it. But it's about a... You probably read it to your kids. I bet you didn't finish it. You're like, there's more than nine? Shell Silverstein's great though. Yeah, it's about a tree and he just gives everything to this kid.

He's like, take the apples from the tree eat. And then the kid's like, I need shelter. He's like, take my leaves. And then he needs a boat. So he's like, cut me down and make a boat. And then at the end, he's just a stump. Yeah. Yeah.

And by now the boy's an old man. Yeah. And he comes to the tree and the tree says, well, I got somewhere for you to sit. So he just sits on the stump of this tree. That's beautiful. I don't think my leaves are a good, what'd you say? I'm the giving tree with my ex. Uh, gave her everything.

Uh, anyways, half a week. Listen, I, I, yeah, I mean, I'm with you. I'm with it. A'm with you. Okay. A lot happening with Nate Land. A lot happening. We had the, we had the Ryman show last night that I did. It went great. I got a standing O. Wow. It was awesome. Yep. And then a lot of them.

They were going to the bathroom after you said it. Aaron hosted and they still said more, more. I had a lot of them left after they were like, oh, he's done. And they just left. Yeah. They didn't want to see Ryan Hamilton. They didn't want to see Derek Strew. Oh, OK, I get what you're saying now. We're talking about a show that has happened as of this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I got to say an Elevation of Dusty show, Tuesday night. We all know that's not true. Let's get into the comments. Yeah, I guess you're right. Too far. Yeah, too far. It has to have some greater belief. Have you ever got a standing ove- I don't know if I've ever had a stand-

I got a partial one at the Opry once. And by partial I mean like- People get up to leave? He already made the joke, Brian. Come on now, dude. It was like 30- I say like 30 people stood up and I was like, that counts as standing up.

This is what I say about standing ovations. I feel like that you, people that are getting a lot of standing ovations, they say, all right, thank you, have a good night. And then they keep standing there. Oh yeah. That's the key. See, I don't do that.

The moment I say, thank you, have a good night, I'm out of there. I'm not looking. I don't want a standing ovation. I'm not trying to get them. Okay. But people that get a lot of them, they go, thank you.

And then they just, oh, they bow and they just keep going. And they go, oh, I've had such a great time. Thank you, Cleveland. Yes, yes. When I get one, I'm going like such a great time. Thank you, Cleveland. Yes. Yes. When I get one, I'm going like, thank you everybody. Thank you. Yeah. And then I peek out until they all get up.

I opened for a comedian who you've all heard of once and they were talking about all the standing ovations that they'd been getting. And then it was exactly like you described. They just stood up there and waited. And then they came back in green room, like another standing. Oh, yeah. It's like, well, yeah. You stayed out there for five minutes. Yeah. How long was Nate up there? Come on. He's in Europe. Just tell us. Yeah. Well, I got a fake standing. No, as I shared on this podcast, I got multiple fake standing.

Those after that, after sharing the story. That's great. The ones after are real. In a way. I just think laughter is enough. I've asked enough of the audience. They bought a ticket, they've come to the show. Now they're laughing at the jokes.

Do they really have to stand up for me in the end? Well, now they're gonna, no, at the beginning, now they're gonna start standing up for you. That's fun. All right. Just you walking out. I'll accept. I'll accept the coming out standing out. That one's not the yeah. Every now and then you'll see like a crazy pop in at the club and that we'll get something like that. And you're like, well, this is awesome.

Did you get a standing o when you're special? No, no, I don't think I've ever gotten anything close. The only thing I've gotten close to Standing Ovation is when I come out as the opener for them to do the encore. And they're already standing for that. It happens with Brian all the time. You do a lot of encores? Brian Regan does an encore. So I'll come out and like,

so he can grab like water or whatever. What does he do, like his old jokes in the encore? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes people yell- Classics. Yeah, the names of old jokes and stuff encore? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes people yell. The classics. Yeah. The names of old jokes and stuff, but I'll come out and they'll be standing up there

and I'll be like, sometimes I'm standing there going, this is the closest I'll get. So I'm gonna, this is pretty nice. Just enjoy it. Yeah. You did a dry bar though, right? Yeah. Did you get one for that?

No, no. I told them ahead of time to stay seated, just to prevent it. That's the humble professional thing to do. I think they deliberately told you that everybody gets standing elevations just to hurt your feelings. Wait, is that a thing?

No, not everyone gets one. They used to, I think I maybe stopped it. It got watered down over time. Yeah. I did mine right in the pandemic. Even the dry bar people were like, ah, we can't keep standing there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did mine right in the pandemic. Even the dry bar people were like, ah, we can't keep standing there. Yeah.

Ryan's getting them. Yeah. Yeah. I just went back out there after the show and stood and had them, I mean, seriously, I've shared that story. They're like, we're nice Mormon people here, but we can only take so much. Yeah.

If you look close enough at my standing ovations, it's actually just me edited in at every seat. Yeah. Standing and clapping. Yeah. Yeah. If you look close enough at my standing ovations, it's actually just me edited in at every seat. Well, what were y'all doing? What were y'all doing this weekend? This weekend? I'll talk about last weekend too, because I was gone. I went to Virginia Beach to the Funny Bone. Great shows. A lot of fun. Me and my buddy, Derek Humphrey, a lot of fun. I got sick and just a regular cold. It was fine. I feel like every time you get sick, people think now that you have COVID, but it was, it was nice because I feel like that's done in my life. And I got sick and I didn't have a fear of death. I just said, you know what? I have,

my throat hurts. Yeah. And then that passed. And then I felt like I had a fever one night. And then I took some mulin extract or mullin, depending on how you pronounce it. And it's supposed to help get detox your lungs. Okay. Then I started coughing. Started coughing up a lot of stuff. And now I feel like I'm mostly well.

And it feels good. I'm no longer contagious. Did you take a COVID test? I don't believe in contagion now. Well then, I knew the answer, but then you probably had COVID. Yeah, I mean, How can you prove you didn't?

Listen, they're selling flu, they test out, it says flu and COVID test, proving they never knew the difference. They never knew the difference. It doesn't tell you which one it is if it's positive? I don't know. Dusty doesn't even use a Q-tip on his ears. Yeah, they're like, I don't know. The machine's like, how do you feel?

I'm just glad I'm sitting on the opposite of you. Yeah. Nah, I feel good about it. This is the direction I'm going. That's true. Yeah, that's true. I asked for Steve to come on just to have some more. That's right. I get into stuff. I don't even know if I believe in the whole contagion thing anymore. I mean, I feel like... The movie? Well, yeah. I mean, just in general. I don't know that I believe that if you're sick and you're hanging out with someone else, you can get them sick.

You don't believe that things are contagious? I don't know if I believe it. I'm not saying I don't, but I'm saying I don't know if I do. Yeah. What about when you're hanging out with someone that had the same thing that you feel later? I don't know. I think it's cool. Coincidence, yeah. Jesse's going the wrong direction. A kid gets sick at school, comes home, the whole family gets sick. Coincidence? Well, I don't know. I'd have to see it. These are hypotheticals. Okay. But they're really real. These are hypotheticals. Okay, okay. But they're really real. There are things that happen a lot.

Yeah, that's hypothetical. Yeah, that's right. Because you're already living with that person, so we're assuming the kid got sick at school. Sure. But it may be it was sick. It could be in the house. We're already sick.

It could be in the house. Yeah, right. It could be your diet, your bad air in the house. Okay. You're showering in a lot of chlorinated water. Our water has all this. That's okay. Our water is simply everything that we do, everything that we use water for, goes into this thing.

And then it goes into this water filtration plant. So all our water, our toilet water, our sink water, our dishwasher water, our washing machine, rainwater, it all goes to this thing. And then we filter it out and then put it back in and now we're drinking that. And that's gross. And so that's probably why you make yourself sick. What about if you have a Brita? Well, I think Brita does something, but I think it's one of the weaker ones. What you want is like a Berkey. Berkey. Berkey, that's it.

Well, how do you think you got sick this weekend other than being exposed to it? Probably bodily abuse, you know, travel, a lot of, you know. So your body just- My body's like, you need to take a break. Created a virus. My body's like, you need to take a break, you need to detox a little bit.

So I'm gonna work some of these things out. Just a message from your body. Yeah, your body is saying, hey, enough is enough. I'm gonna, you're gonna take a week off and I'm gonna extract some of these things. Yeah, that is fun to think about, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, you picked up a disease.

And that's how you got. Not a disease, but. Yeah, not necessarily a disease, but you picked up something. Stress is a big one too. You have to get it. Just a random stress cold. But you don't get stressed.

A virus. Do you get stressed? I'm constantly stressed. Are you really? I believe that. I can't imagine you pacing. Well, I don't handle it that way, I don't think. Just fetal position on the ground?

It's in my stomach and in my shoulders. Oh, okay. If you're talking gut health. That's where it all lies. Yeah, okay. I have two small kids and I travel for work and I got a lot of things going on. I get stressed.

I believe it's this, I could see you getting stressed sick a lot. And I get emails for my ticket sales for upcoming shows, which is, I don't need this. No. I don't need this info. No. You know?

Yeah. And I've already done radio. I don't need this info. No. You know? Yeah, yeah. And like I've already done radio. I do a pretty popular podcast. I'm doing other podcasts. I'm making Facebook posts. I'm paying a social media team. A lot goes on. There's nothing more I can do about the sales.

I see it now. I don't see how it gets there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I told him to stop including the walkout potential on these advances. I don't need to see it the walkout potential on these. I don't need to see it.

Only making me feel bad. I agree. I was about to check a bag recently just so I could load my merch and then they sent me the ticket cat. I'm like, you know what? I'm doing carry on. I don't even need to go. Yeah.

I don't need that much merch. Three shirts. We're wearing one of them. And I do a podcast with a guy that can't stop selling out shows no matter how big the venue gets. I know. So you're like, okay, well. He just added a ninth show at Madison Square Garden. Are you serious?

No, I don't know. I think he's doing a lot. I think he's doing two or three. Yeah. Yeah, I think three. Crazy. Fellas, April is here, but this ain't the time for fooling. It's the time to let those thighs breathe. Whether you're playing around the golf, doing yard work or just running errands, chubbies has you covered for all the good vibes that warm weather brings. Bright polos that demand attention?

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Stand out with Chubbies. Where were you this weekend? This weekend I did the Grand Ole Opry two times. I was at home, but I did two sets at the Grand Ole Opry. Ticket sales good? They were very good this weekend. Had nothing to do with me because the Opry, I love them and I think they love me,

but they never put me on the sign out there. And so I didn't have any... Have you never been on the sign? I was on the sign once, but I asked about it. Okay. They put me on the sign. He was getting stressed. It was Brian's first time they put him on the sign. I know it was the first time, but I've been on there.

I've been on the sign too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't done it. They put me up. As I was leaving the Opry, I saw John Christus on the sign for his coming up show. Wow, John's great. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do.

That's what I'm gonna do. So. I saw a picture of you at the Opry. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you have that. I don't know, you mentioned showing it on there, but I wanted to demonstrate for,

I do, my face gets red, okay? We all know that my face probably red right now. Did you post this on Instagram, this picture? Yeah. Yeah. That we're talking about? Yeah, it gets red, but it's my latest post there. I can tell you the internet at Zany's is atrocious. But I wanted to, cause you know, we, we used to,

we had that video. Whoa. Look at this though. Wow. See on the screen versus my body down here. See, it looks like I'm on the face of the sun. I don't know if I see. I think this is one of those optical illusions

where it's actually the same color. I thought it was a Cheetos ad. No, it's not the same color. Uh, I mean, I don't think it's as drastic as you'd like it. It's pretty drastic. I mean, you look pretty, you're talking about the bottom, right? Where you look really red. Oh, okay.

This is another stress for me. But look at that. I mean, you can see a stark difference. I like that there's like a, maybe a half second delay. Yeah. Yeah, I would have guessed his hand's going down, but it's apparently going up. Caught you mid wave here.

Yeah. That's you saying, have a nice day. Yeah. Okay. wave here. Yeah. That's you saying have a nice day. Yeah. Okay. Be safe. So, but that was good. They were fun shows. I love the opera.

Yeah, it's great. I love doing the opera. I had hot shows. Had the family come out. They have to sit on the stage there for a little bit. You don't have to but you get to. Yeah. Yeah. That's my daughter pointing to, but you get to. Yeah. Yeah. That's my daughter pointing to me. Oh, that's awesome. See, I'm out there.

You can see me out there. Her face was red too. She's going, dad's bombing. Yeah. That's great. That was good. Yeah, that's awesome. What about you, Brian?

What did you get into? You skipping yourself? Well, don't we usually go this way? Yeah, but he started it. So. Yeah, but he's running the... Okay. What about you, Brian? What'd you get into? You skipping yourself? I will. Don't we usually go? Yeah, but he started it.

So, but he's running the, okay. Very nice. But he should have asked me if you don't want to talk about your weekend, you don't have to pass it to the left here. Pass it to the left. He shouldn't have even brought up his. That's what I'm saying. It starts here.

And it goes this way. This is just what he does. Yeah, you're right. Great. I'm running the podcast. He is, you know, the national, right. I'm running the podcast. He is. You know, the Nashville Comedy Festival. When I run it, I do whatever I wanna do.

Shut up, Jesse. Yeah. The Nashville Comedy Festival's going on this week. Yes, sir. In full swing, some might say. Yeah. And I get frustrated with all the industry types, you know, hanging out backstage.

Why, they're great. So I decided to do a show in Columbia, Tennessee at the Packard Playhouse just to get away from it all. For the people. For the people, for the real people out there. Get away from the festival for a night. And as you guys know, there's been like tornado threats every day the last week I feel like.

Flash floods. I was texting both of you guys in the middle of the night of the night, but. I got 14 texts in two days about a flash flood. It's like, take it easy guys. Not all from Brian, from other people? Yeah, from the news. No, from the National Weather Service.

Oh, you got it from the news? Yeah. No, not the news probably, probably metro government, right? Mount Juliet police will text us every now and then. That is true. Anyway, I'm supposed to head down a tornado Saturday afternoon around five o'clock 20 or one comes right through Nashville and it was pouring down the whole way down there I'm like, why did I agree to take this stupid show? Nobody's gonna be there and I get there and it was sold out. Oh

Act out great show a lot of it was a shelter People from off the street were coming in there just for safety. I'm doing stand out there like, I'd rather risk the storm. Now it was a great show. A lot of folks came and just had a great time. So thanks for everybody who came. That's awesome. That's great.

Yeah. That's all right, Steven, you're up. Uh, I, this past weekend, I opened for Brian Regan in Charleston, Norfolk, and Charlestown, West Virginia. Oh, okay. That's where the camp town. So not Charleston, South Carolina? Charleston, South Carolina, then Norfolk,

and then Charlestown. Where in Charleston, South Carolina? At the music hall. Okay. You meet Charles Gormody? I don at the music hall. Okay. You mean Charles Gormody? Uh, I don't know. Yes guys. You guys are meeting Charles.

Come on. Does he get real specific? It was a name I've never heard in my life. Are you saying Charles Charles Charles? I know that West Virginia. There's a Charleston and a Charleston. There's a apparently there's a Charleston West Virginia and a Charlestown West Virginia. You're in Charlestown.

I was in Charles. Not the capital of West Virginia. Not the capital of West Virginia. This is where a camp. What's the the, the horse track. It's in the camp town ladies sing this song. Camp town races. Yeah. Camp town. Yeah. Do da do da. Do da do da. You know that one. This Charles town to work Charles town space town. Yeah. West Virginia.

Population 6,500 dude. Yeah. Wow. He had the whole town at the show. Pretty much. I had a third of the town. Whole whole town at the show. Pretty much. He probably had a third of the town at the show. Whole town was at the show. Yeah, really fun shows. I had a, my hotel room was facing the race tracks. I just watched horses race all day. Wow. It was great.

That's awesome. That's cool. Living the life. How did I get Brian Reagon? That's a great question. It was easy to get me. I don't know. I do like that.

That was the question though. Well, yeah. Uh, yeah, but really, really fun. Uh, good shows and, uh, went to this really great, uh, uh, steak house place in Charleston, South Carolina. And at one point, you ever been to one of those steakhouses where like the service is like its own show? Oh yeah.

They came out with like the meat, like they show you what it's gonna look like. Is it called oak? It was, no I think it was all beef. No, the name of it. The restaurant. Oh. Was your meat oak was all beef. What was the name of it? The restaurant. Oh. Was your meat oak? Longhorn.

What was it called? They have a little barky taste to it. They had an onion that like, bloomed. You don't remember any of the names of any of these places. I have it in my phone, but I don't remember it. It's the big one. Charles Grill. Charles Grill and seafood.

I think it's Hall's or Paul's. Oh, Hall's steakhouse. Yeah, Hall's steakhouse. How about that? We're talking about white gloves, like that fancy of a place. It's a very nice place. Very nice. And then at one point they all come at once when like your entrees are ready, they all come as a team. Hall's chop house. Hall's chop house. It's slowly going to get longer. Yeah. But they all come at once and serve you all at once, like Navy SEALs. They place the plate over your left, to your left. They come in from the left.

Yeah, yeah. When I went to the country club, that was one of the things that ingrained in us. And Brian's sitting next to me where you are, and Brian looks at me and he goes, they have a team. You should tell him what you used to do with the country club when you worked there. I was the buffet guy. What about with the fries? Oh, no, that was at the nursing home.

Okay. That's even worse. Wait, I want to pretend it's at a country club. Well, I would eat- One of my favorite services. After school, in high school, I worked at a volunteer, and I had to volunteer like 80 hours at this nursing home. And I would do, I don't

think I do that part. Service my high school, you had to, you had to have 80 service hours to go to the next grade to graduate. So that's what they told you. So me and a couple other guys from the high school, we worked at a nursing home and I would, you know, you, you work, you help out how you can. I would do dishes. Okay. And it was after school, I was hungry. I would eat food off the plate all the time and plates that people bring back to the, yeah, that the nursing home residents are eating and every now and then like French fries, you just go, obviously I'm gonna grab a

French fry. And one day I was eating a French fry and a nurse walked in and goes, Oh honey, no. And I said, what's wrong? And she says, some of our residents will suck the salt off the French fry and put it back on the plate. And I'd eat, I'd eat maybe 500 French fries. Oh my God. I stopped eating those. He cut back French fries. Oh my God. So I stopped eating those after. He cut back at least.

Oh my God. You see why it needs to be at a nursing home and not a country club? It's much different. It's much different. How'd you hit them today? No, dude, we would get dudes, the gentleman's card room downstairs where all these old men would play golf and then they'd go they get a steak and they would eat the whole steak and then send it back and say it was cooked wrong.

Oh yeah. I mean, we do the stuff that was said about these guys in the kitchen was so great. Yeah. I mean, they're like, Oh, he always does that. You know, does he get anything for doing that? Like he gets money back. You void it off their account. Yeah.

And you go, well, you ate the whole thing. That happened at, I mean, this is much smaller scale, but I worked at a grocery store. I worked at the service desk and people would return food, said they didn't like it, but they'd give me an empty wrapper to scan it to return their money. I'm like, well, you ate it all. When did you realize you didn't like it? It's like you made a mistake. And you also shouldn't get money back just because you didn't like it. It's like you made a mistake. And you also shouldn't get money back

just because you didn't like it. No, you should not. It's like, was it not good or did you not like it? I don't give audiences money back. Yeah, exactly. You know? Because it's like, yeah, there's preference, you know? You can not like it.

Right. But was it not good? Exactly, it's two separate things. I did a weekend at the Huntsville Club where all weekend they advertise it as, uh, your, uh, laugh or your money back. No. Oh gosh.

Yeah. It was me. Uh, Dale Jones was the headliner and I hosted it. You talk about pressure, dude. Yeah. I'm like, well, even if Dale Jones does great, which you know, we will, they could be like, well, the host stunk. I want my money back.

We did not get a single person request their money back. Oh, that's amazing. It's pretty great. Look at this disclaimer at the bottom of the screen for the show I'm about to do. Give this context, Bri, for people listening. This is for the Ben Theater in Wisconsin. Yeah, it's coming up April 26th at the Ben Theater. It's a great theater, it's awesome.

Yeah. You're gonna love it. And then I see them post this. Wow. And then I'm like, oh, what's that at the bottom with the asterisk? Comedy disclaimer, comedy is subjective. All ticket sales are final.

This show will have two feature openers before the headline of the media. They're like, don't try to get your money back. We gotta get out ahead of this one, boys. They're like, we've seen the headline. They're like, don't try to get your money back. We got to get out ahead of this one. They're like, we've seen the tape. And that's the name of a tour. Yeah, that's kind of subjective. The all-ticket sales are final. Oh, that's so great. Yeah. Okay. So what about you, Aaron? I, uh, I was off this weekend, but I filled in real quick. Mark Norman at the Ryman.

I got the open for him. Oh, that's awesome. It was great. What's my Norman? All right. Hey, so yeah, nice villain. Uh, yeah. I mean, it just worked out.

Uh, I was in town. I know Mark a little bit, but I got to go down there and- That's the hard thing about being booked all the time, you know? You never get any of those fill-ins. I know, I know. Yeah, they reached out to me and Dusty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was at the Packer Playhouse. On Thursday? No. Yeah, safe. Oh, I was open Thursday too. Well, I was supposed to do some- But I was sick still. I was supposed to do some thing on CNN this weekend. They canceled on that. What? Yeah. It was supposed to do something on CNN this weekend.

They canceled on that. What? Supposed to be on CNN. Where are you going to do? I don't know. The weather. I honestly could not take it. You're the victim of a crime?

No, they have a show, like a panel show on CNN. Anyway, it fell through. So I was in town and I got to open for Mark. Fiona Colley, who's in National Comics, she did the show too. It's great. Dude, that's like a perfect venue. It's the it's a rhyming. I love it. Yeah. Are you gonna go to Atlanta to do the CNN show? New York City. Oh, well, excuse me. Yeah, the real CNN. Wow. Oh, isn't a headquartered in Atlanta. I couldn't tell you. Anyway. Yeah. But yeah, I got to do that and that's been pretty much it

Just been kicking it here at home man excited to get into it get into these comments. What do you think? I'm pumped. Oh, can I mention one more thing? No Well two more things you want to do the news I don't know you go ahead and do this I really like uh, friends that go after each other and they're not not friends. I can't wait to have some one day. No. Keep open. All right. See what I'm my shirt here.

Oh yeah. The Nate Land merch has dropped now available at natebargatze.com. Just click shop at the top. Turfland. This, this awesome hoodie and a fun golf shirt. I don't have the golf shirt. We got the golf shirt pulled up right there. The Nate Bargetzi Golf Club. Nice. Yeah. There's Nate there on the car. I think that's Nate. Yeah, it is. Other items will be getting dropped, so make sure to check that out. There's a Nate Land. He's just got kind of a five o'clock shadow. Yeah. And he

does have a mustache a little bit sometimes. So it's not a good shirt, but I'm joking. I'm joking. It's a good looking shirt. Yeah. It looks good. And a Nate Land hat right down here. How about that? That's great. All that'll be coming. Get your merch. Nate Land. We have two other great podcasts. The Consumers every Tuesday. Don't make me come back there every Thursday. I did both of those last week. Great pods. Yeah great pods. Minor episode who knows when it'll be out but two fun podcasts and oh boy Brian's pulling something out from under the table. Look at that. Whoa. Can you guys see this? Yeah. Describe it for the listening audience. Well, I can't see it. So it's bedazzled. It looks like bedazzled. The one person who can't see it. Picture of the Nate Land podcast. It's got our pictures on

there. Did a very good job. Yeah, made with beads. Made with, I don't know what it's made out of. Well, all right, this is from Erica and Kathy Kestner. Kestner's. Yeah, the Kestner's and they're huge Dateland fans. They've seen us all in Columbus. Oh, wow. And she said, our show has been blessings in our lives, much laughter shared with the family. This is a hobby of hers, diamond art. She had this custom designed to do for us and she hopes we enjoyed it. Break that thing open, let's split those diamonds. That's right. Nate'll never know.

That's so cool. That's awesome, that's awesome. That really, I mean, we gotta hang that up in here. Let's take down that Steven Rogers thing. Yeah, no, no, no. There's other stuff you can take down, yeah. Well, we'll take it down. Yeah, the Washington sketches played out by this point.

Like, we get it. It's like, yeah, the thing isn't what it is. Really great premise for a sketch. We get it. We get it. You know? All right. Thank you for that. The Kessners. That's really, it's really, really cool. The Kessners. Yeah. Shout out. Okay. Let's get into some comments. All right. Okay. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and NateLand at natebargatze.com. Yeah, most of them come from YouTube and NateLand at natebargatze.co. Okay. Dr. Jason Hunnell. Here we go. Aaron feeling exhausted from six shows in one weekend makes scientific sense. Whoa. What are you talking Whoa. I'm a neurologist. Finally.

Thirty minutes of public speaking can be as mentally exhausting as an eight hour work day. Wow. Whoa. And I do an hour twenty sometimes. Yeah, yeah. You work a forty hour work day. Public speaking demands significant cognitive resources including language processing, emotional

regulation, and quick decision-making. The mental fatigue that follows is similar to the exhaustion from a full work day." That is huge. I had no idea. Do you like how I read that one? Do you guys like how I read that one? You read it like a doctor. Yes. Yeah, a hint of condescension. Yeah, you know what? You started off sarcastic and you're like, I kind of agree. You know what though? You're right about it. Yeah. When this guy started off and he said,

makes scientific sense, I wanted to throw the papers in here. But as he went on, I go, you know what? This guy's making sense. Now, as a doctor, I can get on board with. This is something I would want hanging in my room and point to if anyone were like, you're not, what's with you today? You just pointed that.

Yeah. I'm doing emotional regulation today. Yeah, look at this. Think about this though, think about this. If you do six one hour shows, let's just say five, make it easy, one hour shows, and each 30 minutes is an eight hour work day. So that's 80 hour. It's 10 days. That's two weeks.

Right? That you worked in a weekend. Yeah. But it is wild though, after a show, That's two weeks, right? That you worked in a weekend. But it is wild though, after a show, like thinking about meet and greets, it's like, sometimes I come off stage and I'm just like, I am so tired and it doesn't make sense that I'm so tired, but for sure, like, you know, you do in an hour,

hour 20 sometimes, and it's a lot. Yeah, with the meet and greet being its own second show in a way, because you're nonstop talking. They're fun to do, but it is another show. It can be more work sometimes. Yeah. Missing out on a show that everyone is talking about isn't an option for me.

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faster with Rocket Money. Fast like a rocket. Go to rocketmoney.com slash Nate today. I think it's just Nate. Go to rocket money dot com slash Nate. Today. That's rocket money dot com slash Nate rocket money dot com slash Nate today or tomorrow, whatever day you want to do it. But better today better today better today. Do not put off till tomorrow. What could be done today? Early bird gets the rocket money. Rocket money and the second mouse also gets the rocket money. All right, Sean Nielsen.

Nielsen. Last week we talked about baseball by the way. Okay. Yeah. Glad I missed that one. Well, we did it. The biggest barrier to baseball reclaiming, retaining, it's crown.

I was so curious how you were gonna address the slash there. And you just ignored it. The biggest barrier to baseball reclaiming slash retaining its crown as America's pastime is TV availability. The only big only the big big teams are usually on ESPN or Fox or you know whatever and even if you buy a season ticket on MLB TV or something games can still be blacked out. It's a real chore to watch baseball. I'm gonna have to agree with this.

My dad was up, I got rid of cable. My dad came up, my dad's a huge Braves fan. And I was like, I'm gonna find you the Braves. I'll be able to find you the Braves. And I downloaded all of the, I was getting different apps, this app, then this app, then this app, and you could not get the Braves. On all the apps, it would even show the Braves game

and it would be blocked off. Yeah, it's hard. And it's like, come on guys, let us watch the game. It's 182 of these things. It is crazy. In Nashville, we're blacked out from the Cincinnati Reds and the Atlanta Braves, which is so frustrating. They do have, you can get FanDuel Sports Network.

You can watch Braves games now, but that's another subscription fee. It's another add-on that you have to do. It's like 20 bucks a month to watch it, but you can get the Braves games now, but it is incredibly frustrating. You go, imagine if Steven Special coming out this week, he was like, well, you can't,

you have to be in the Seattle area to watch it. Otherwise you have to come see him live. Yeah. You can watch it anywhere. Yeah. April 11th. I'm going to try to tie every comment into your special, Steven. Wouldn't it be great if each team had its own app?

It would be great. It would be great. I think it would be great. Or maybe just the MLB should have an app like they do and you can watch every game. Right. That, yeah. But obviously that's not a... I assumed every team did have something they're gonna do. I could not find the Ravs games.

I mean, it was like, I was like, I can do this. I'll show you how to set it up. I mean, this has been a crusade of mine for a while. So I can, I'll let you know. All right, Anna Harvey, I can't believe you talked about baseball movies without mentioning Angels in the Outfield or Sandlot. Really?

I don't even know how baseball works, but I know that... That's from the heart. But I know those movies are essential to baseball movie conversations, but otherwise great episode. Yeah. I'm with Anna. Thought I mentioned the same light. Oh, you know, we might have talked about it. I think I've maybe said a little play like a girl or something. Yeah, you play ball like your girl. We've talked about Sandlot several times and they did the Sandlot too that had girls on the team. Oh, really? Yeah, I do like baseball

movies. Yeah, I think we were I don't know. I mean like, um like Kevin Costner has three movies and one of them is where he throws the perfect game. That's a really good one. Major League is my favorite comedy baseball movie. Major League rules. Yeah. Rookie of the Year was a really good one.

Rookie of the Year is fun. The Rookie, you watched The Rookie. I don't think so. With Dennis Quaid Year was a really good one. Rookie of the Year is fun. The Rookie. You ever watch The Rookie? I don't think so. With Dennis Quaid. I don't think so. I like Dennis Quaid. It's actually a good movie. Okay. You think it's gonna, I watched it recently. I thought it was gonna be like a kids movie

where I go, it's kind of fun to revisit, but it stands alone. It's a good movie in and of itself, I think. I'm just throwing it out there. That's my opinion. I haven't seen it. There was a scene in, you ever see trailers for movies and they'll have a funny scene and then it's not in the actual money? Yes. Movie Major League, which came out when I think I was a senior in high school, there was a scene where somebody hits a home run off I think Charlie Sheen and then I think the catcher Tom Berenger's character says you know that wouldn't that ball would have been out of some parks and he's like name one he says Yellowstone

and you know as kids we thought that's the funniest thing ever and then you'll see the movie it's not in the movie. Wow that's a great joke. Yeah I've never seen that joke I didn't see the trailer. Yeah. Yeah. The flip side of that is you watch the trailer and it shows basically the whole movie and you're like, I don't need to even watch the movie anymore. Yes. See that too. You used to be a lot more of that.

They used to be, you know, the in a world. No, I missed that. They haven't done that in forever. I can't remember the last time I saw a trailer. Pablo Francisco ruined that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Little tortilla boy. Yeah. Okay. Good. Thanks, dude. Yeah, he to Aaron Francisco. That's what they call me. Mike Sellers. Mike Sellers seems like a relief pitcher. Mike Sellers left handed. Bring in Sellers. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you, Dusty. After pitchers have made two pickoff attempts, they are still allowed to make a third attempt

But that third attempt must successfully get the runner out or he automatically advances to second base But this option to throw a third time does keep the runner from taking as large of a lead as he wants after two unsuccessful pickoff attempts Let's get it out. We talked about this last week, and I did not know that Henry said well after two unsuccessful pickoff attempts. Let's get it out. We talked about this last week and I did not know that. Henry said, well after two pickoff attempts you can go as far as you want and I said yeah in the moment I thought that seems crazy but that but I'm glad to know this. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you probably did know that didn't you? I don't know if I could have worded it that

exact. You don't see that happen that often. Uh, I don't know if I'd thought about it. That makes sense. This is good. Mike Sellers, you know, obviously knows a lot about baseball. He very well may be a player. Yeah, that was very information. I had no idea. Oh, we got a comedian in the next comment. Brian Hamilton. From Bridehose. Oh yeah. From Bridehose. Brappy face. Talking about using robots for balls and strikes and. You gave it all for the first part of that test.

Yeah. And you realize you have a whole other part of it. Yeah, you would have thought that would have been bolded and underlined on there. Balance it out, Dusty. It's not in caps. Talking about using robots for balls and strikes and all of you agreeing against it was surprising. Agreeing against it.

That's confusing. Interesting wording. You gotta admit that's confusing. I would encourage you to look at game-changing blown calls. While umps might be better all around calling balls and strikes. I believe those game-changing calls are still wildly abundant. This guy, this guy worked hard on that. Yeah, he sure did, dude.

He probably, somebody in his life, he goes, Hey, you mind reading through this real quick? I'm not sure it's saying what I want it to say. I don't think when I have UMPs here that he's going to really hit it, right? He won't hit it. I want him to really land on UMPs, give it a beat. Wow. UMPs. I like that.

What's the worst call Aaron in baseball history? It's got to be James Joyce, the name of the ump, calling the batter safe at first for Galarraga's perfect game. It's crazy. Last out of the game. Wow. You guys know the perfect game, the last out, it would have been a perfect game, which is so rare. And he called him, called him safe. And then it was the most, if you look at it, it's the most obvious out of all. He called him safe, and then it was the most, if you look at it, it's the most obvious out of all time. The aunt felt so bad about it, he cried. And the next game, they had a moment of forgiveness

between the two of them at home plate. And it ended up being kind of a nice moment. Well, he felt horrible, because he robbed this kid of a once in a lifetime. Yeah. You just, but in that you can't just, you don't get to just feel bad about that. You did. You robbed him of once in a lifetime thing.

And what else could they have done? You lean and arrest you lean to out. I say you lean to out. You don't make the call too quick and you lean to out. If the stakes are I'm blowing this guy's perfect game or this guy on a team that couldn't get a hit the whole game gets a hit. Here's the play right here standing of it. Here's the routine play. He's good. He's a first.

No way. Yeah. I see that guy. Wow. Look at the pitcher's reaction. He's like, you got to be kidding me, dude. Everybody's that was one out away from. You just got to go. You got to go out.

You better better off being wrong in that than, you got to go out. You better, better off being wrong in that then, you know, it's like you just auto retire. Wow. Can they not switch it right here? This is before, before there was any kind of replay. Now they could, right? So now they could challenge it and this would get overturned. Yeah, that's the best argument for doing it. I mean, he's so, he's so out and he's got. Wow. Pretty great view of it right there.

The fact that I even remember the UMP's name is crazy. That's how, that's how big of a thing. That's, that's the biggest story I can remember of a lone call. Well, in Don Dinkiger in the world series. That makes me, that makes me upset. I don't know if I can keep doing the podcast. Why don't you like the, why don't you like the moment of forgiveness? Yeah.

Well, because you just ruin this guy's once. This guy now would have gotten to say, I threw a perfect game one time and said he can't. And he goes, I almost had a perfect game, but this guy that I had to forgive the next day ruined. Yeah. Here's the moment. We got the ump right here getting emotional.

The crowds booing him, but then the pitcher comes out, delivers the lineup card and they have a moment. I mean, I like that this guy forgave him. Yeah, he's a bigger man than you are. Wow. But now that guy should, it's just like in that moment, you got to be better than that. You got to be like. Sure.

I don't think anybody's. You take a minute and you go, am I about to ruin a perfect game on a close call? Let me just call him out. But you can't take a minute. That's the it's a you got to make it. He just made the wrong call and he agrees with you. It was a mistake. Call him out.

Just call him out. Yeah, I think he agrees that he should have done that. Just call him out. He just made. That's unbelievable. I wish I had not. I wish I did not even know that happened. Yeah. Yeah. My life would be better off not knowing that happened. But let me let me counter this interesting thing to think about. If if this guy Galarraga had thrown a perfect game, this is in

2010, he had thrown a perfect game. I don't know if I would have remembered that, but I remember this and I remember him. It's a good point, Aaron. And now he's in this great example of sportsmanship and forgiveness and in a way that could be more meaningful than a perfect game. I mean, for you. It's not actually for me, but I'm trying to- But for the pitcher. The pitcher would like that perfect game. Yeah, and the ump would like to not have that on his record, too.

Yeah, right. They go, are you a good ump? His grandkids are like, were you a good umpire? Don't Google me. Yeah, for the most part, but I made, you know, maybe one of the worst calls. I made what Aaron Weber considers the worst blown call of all time. That is true.

That's true, but I like this moment. When people hear my name, they have reactions. Yeah. So yeah. He's the only empire anybody knows their name. Yeah, he might be. Geez, that's sad. Oh, there's older him.

Oh yeah. I mean, reflecting on it. And you can tell he's, he's, he's over it. He's still crying about it. Yeah. He should be. Man. I hope he doesn't listen to this podcast.

Yeah. Just another nice day listening to Nate Landry. I love those guys. Well, listen, I am- You finally put all that behind me. We're having a good time. I'm all about forgiveness and stuff like that, but I just think in this moment, you're like, you're standing there-

Except in baseball. You're the umpire. You're one batter away from what's this guy's perfect game. And then the call is close. You know the call is close. Yeah. You just go out. You go out. And there have been 24 perfect games in the history of Major League Baseball. It is incredibly rare.

You just go out. You go out. That's a shit. I bet that guy... I didn't mean to ruin your day, dude. It's just.... You set the rest of this out. I hate the whole in sports. I hate back home. You're the robots just control us. Yes. In sports. Yeah. And in life. That's how it starts. I'd like the robots to just play the sports and be the umpires. Joystick controller.

Yeah. Yeah. Just run simulations of these games. We don't need to see humans do it. Exactly. Yeah. Austin Adams. One of my favorite Nate Lynn Easter eggs is that Aaron had a, we're having a good time sticker on his old laptop early on in the pod. It was there all the way up until Dusty's first guest appearance. Yeah. You notice as I got to know Dusty more, that sticker is gone. Yeah. But I was repping early today. Well, you were, you know, you no longer needed it once I was on the podcast.

Exactly. That's fair. Yeah. We can't have, I mean, we already got so much Dusty stuff here in the studio. Yeah. It just flooded with Dusty stuff. I can't add a sticker.

Dustytown. I had a, don't make me come back there sticker too, before Nate Land absorbed it. Yeah. So how about that? I don't know if sticker. I had a, don't make me come back there sticker too, before Nate Land absorbed it. Yeah. So how about that? I don't know if absorbs the right word. I think that's how Nate learned about both. Yeah, I have stickers.

He's looking for a lot. Let me put one on, you got one on you right now? No, I don't. Well, there you go, that's the problem. These other guys are marketing themselves. Yeah. I'm gonna try the other half of weed, see if they got a sticker. They do. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try the other half of weed,

see if they got a sticker. They do. Yeah. Uh. Right. Emily Hudson, that's an interesting way to spell Emily. Do you see it? Spell it out.

E-M-A-L-I-E. It's almost like Emely. Emely. Emely. The book of Emely. Emely. Something like that. Maybe that is Imalai.

Imalai here for a minute. Can that be the clip? My husband was born and raised in Oklahoma, not too far from Tulsa. And he's living on Tulsa time. And he and his family and everyone in that area pronounced Tulsa more like Tulsa. Tulsa. So Alan Jackson might have actually

been onto something when he rhymed Salsa with Tulsa. How about that? Wow. Where's Alan Jackson from? Is he from Oklahoma? Oh, he's from Georgia. Oh. Way down here on the Chattahoochee. Oh? Wow. Where's Alan Jackson from? Is he from Oklahoma? Oh, he's from Georgia. Oh. Way down here on the Chattahoochee.

Oh, okay. Where it gets. Gets hot. We don't need to specify how hot it gets. It gets hot though. That's fun. Okay. Well, that's interesting, Emily.

Tulsa. Tulsa salsa. We learned something there. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Emily. Tulsa, Tulsa salsa. We learned something there. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Emily. Sorry, we're being funny here. We're with Al Jackson apology.

Amali. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a lot. It could be Amali, like Somali. Somali. Somali. She could be from Somalia.

Yeah. And that's an interesting pair, Oklahoma and Somalia. Yeah. Yeah. It was almost named Stu York. Aaron J. Stephen Rogers is not the only one who loves Alice Cooper. Never said he was. I did actually. It's a week you weren't here and I'm like, you know, Stephen's the only person who likes Alice Cooper. Yeah, he's the only fan out there. Alice turns on Nate Land. Can't wait to listen to Nate Land. He's with James Joyce

for some reason. We're hanging out. When I first met my husband's family, he informed me that when his aunt had gotten divorced, rather than switch back to her maiden name, she legally changed her name to Debbie Alice Cooper. She goes by Debbie Alice. That's great. Wow. Debbie went insane. Debbie divorce ruined Debbie.

It can do that, man. Yes it can. I imagine. Steven thanked Alice Cooper in his credits and special. It's the first person that's thanked. It's an alphabetical, but yeah, Alice is thanked. Did you see who Nick Thune dedicated a special to at the end? No.

It said dedicated to the guy at 7-Eleven by my house. And it's, it's going to blow his mind. That's just so funny. Yeah, that's great. That's really great. Now he goes to that 7-Eleven every day, hoping that guy watched it. Yeah, with the YouTube playing. Is Alice Cooper welcome to my nightmare?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. You like what he's doing? Yeah, I like some of his stuff. Yeah. He's great. Yeah. Is Alice Cooper welcome to my nightmare? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. You like what he's doing? Yeah, I like some of his stuff. Yeah, he's great.

Yeah. He's really good. The Missing Link. Wow. This comment comes from The Missing Link. We found it. I am furious that Brian didn't get swim lessons from Dusty. That would be unbelievably funny content. I mean, that could be an entire

series on Nate Land. And the finale could be the legendary swim contest we've all been waiting for. I started reading thanks before I went before. Thanks for the laughs, fellas. Yeah, last time you were on, Steve, I think it was when I broke the news that I was taking swimming lessons. This guy's a former what college swimmer? No, I didn't go to college, but I was, colleges wanted me to swim there. I didn't want to go to college. I didn't go to college either. Me too. Yeah, they wanted me to play football in college. But I'm like, oh man. Yeah dude, Alabama was like, come play quarterback. I was like, I'm going to do comedy instead. Well, the place I was taking swimming lessons made national news this week because people drown.

They had flooding. The pool flooded? The whole point because of the storms here in Nashville and Rus, she was watching today's show and they showed it like boost fitness center onto today's show, like flooding. But Boost Fitness Center on today's show like flooding. But the headline said, we opened a second pool. Now I can swim for free. Just stand outside the door.

So yeah, I should have had Dusty do my swim lessons. Still can. Are you swimming now? Well, not at the moment because they're flooded. I mean, are you a float? How far are you in? I took, so they closed for some renovations, and so I took some time off.

I gotta get back to it. Where did we end? Me, almost drowning. Let's say right now you get thrown off a cruise ship. What are your chances? I think we know. What are your chances? Not good.

We're all gonna die though, if we do. We're gonna get eaten by a lot of fish that follow the cruise ships around. Apparently the cruise ships dump food and all their waste off the boats into the ocean. And so fish follow these cruise ships around. That's what Aaron was going with. Yeah. Brian's going to get caught up in all that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to make it. Well, I think, yeah, just generally not being able to swim with, even if there were no fish around you would. But yeah, I think even if a good swimmer has no chance being thrown off a cruise ship.

Yeah. But let's say you just jump off a dock into the lake. Yeah, still gonna be all right. You're gonna be slipping, falling a puddle. Well, then I might break my hip. Take a bath. Now, last week, last week, Aaron proposed a golf competition to me and him

where I use clubs, he just throws the ball. Last week Aaron proposed a golf competition to me and him where yeah I use clubs he just throws the ball. I put some more thought into this okay I think on a regular 18 hole course I think I would beat you because I think your arm would give out and I think those long par fives would get you. But you're not hitting it straight and how far are you hitting it? Yeah I know it's true I just think by the back nine I would just beat you. What's a good drive for you? 200? That's a really good one. Yeah, 200 straight. Yeah. So that's not happening in every hole. No. But I, but I feel like I can throw it straight every time. I'm not going to shank it in the woods. I don't know if you could, that's multiple throws

on 18 holes. You got to throw it as hard as you can. I think you're, I think you're probably right. On a par three, I think you might get me because if you can throw it a hundred yards, right? Is that what you said? Yeah. Uh, about a hundred yards. I mean, I'm crow hopping, but I can get it. I can get it there.

Most par threes are about 150. Some of these small courses are a hundred. Yeah. You might be on the green every throw. That's right. I think you and I, these two guys have checked out. Yeah. Nothing loses me like golf. Yeah. Baseball man. Golf isn't real.

Crowhop and Mitt brought me back. Yeah. What's that? You do not know? Wyatt Irwin. It's kind of like a baseball. It's when you run before you throw it and like jump a little bit and throw it. Yeah. Wyatt Irwin. The more Dusty says about the fruit trees, the better the idea sounds to me. This is why he checked out. He wanted to get to this. I live in an HOA and while I don't have much of a yard, all of the fruit tree talk inspired me to plant some blueberry bushes in pots and I'm trying to get my neighbors to do the same. Very good, Wyatt. I just planted some blueberry bushes too.

Why is he trying to get his neighbors to do it? Well, that's what the whole thing is. We is he trying to get his neighbors to do it? Well, that's what the whole thing is. We're all trying to get the neighbors to everybody to plant fruit. Why? Because then we can all, we're creating a society where we have our own food out here, and we don't have to go to the grocery store for everything.

The flip side of that is grocery store shut down. Now you're the only guy with blueberries. You got some bargaining chips. You got a better chance of surviving. Yeah, potentially. Yeah. I just think you need to take care of yourself before you worry about the neighborhood. You know what I mean? Well, but what if the neighbor and the neighbor has some blueberries too? So now you can feed more people, but they don't. Aaron just purposely shuts this idea down. He knows it's a good idea. People thought I was serious when I was like,

I think when we were arguing about the fruit trees, I was like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, you're out your debt, buddy. And somebody was like, the absolute audacity for Aaron to claim that, yeah, but I wasn't. Even when he's joking, I agree though. They're crow hopping to conclusions. Yeah.

Yeah. I try to use a word immediately after learning it. That was good. Is this the kind of razor sharp wit we can express? I saw you. I saw you look at it and I was like, I'm about to get insulted. I have to keep looking back because I want to reference it every time you say a joke. You know, that logo is good.

Who designed that half of we logo? Uh, Nate land, the other half. That's good. No, Tim Cochran. I guess I'm done with whatever I was going to say. Yeah. Stephen, honestly, it's just movable. You can go though. No, no, no, no. We said what I was going to say. Go ahead. Okay. I think we should all allow farmers to utilize the interstate medians and off

ramp off on rampramp areas of agriculture instead of just mowing them. Fruit trees, hay for cattle, grain, parsnips, rutabagas, etc. I like the sky's thinking, but this is what I've heard, that things grown on the side of the interstates will take in so much carbon monoxide, exhaust, and stuff like that, that it actually can make it really bad for you. Wow. Great point. That's a great idea.

Yeah. I think we could use it for non-edible things. And we could do more beautification, do more, put more trees out there. Yeah. Grow some hemp, make some neccalysis. You know what I mean? Okay. But not even hay for cattle.

I don't think it's good for them to eat it. What about parsnips? I mean, I don't know anybody eating parsnips, so I say why not? Wouldn't the trees do good with all that stuff too? I think so. Yeah, I didn't know the right way to say it, but you know what I mean by this?

Cycle it out, take in the carbon dioxide, put out the oxygen. They crow hop it all. Yeah. I think it would be good to have more trees out there. I support that. Yes. I'm all about more trees.

Everywhere there's not stuff, let's put more trees. Right. Christmas trees? Well, if you want evergreens, yeah, sure. Unchopped down evergreens, yeah. What about chopped down in your living room? Giving treats. No, absolutely not. To celebrate the birth of Christ.

No, that's... He never tells us to do that. I don't think anybody's claiming he is. Okay. There's value in tradition, you know what I mean? Yeah, well, maybe. That's my battle, that one. No, no, no, let's value in tradition. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, maybe yeah, that's my battle that one No, let's get into it Our next sponsor, you know, we love our old friend our old compadre our old partner Delete me delete me makes it easy quick and safe to remove your personal data

data online Hey, I had a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everyone vulnerable. Your stuff is out there, dude. Anything you've inputted on a keyboard, on the internet, it's available for people to buy and sell. It's out there. It's criminal, and it needs to be stopped.

And it's going to be stopped with delete me. You ever been a victim of identity theft, harassment, doxxing? I get harassed all the time in the comment section of this podcast. to be stopped with Delete Me. You ever been a victim of identity theft, harassment, doxing? I get harassed all the time in the comment section of this podcast. That's what I'm saying. And they know your home address and your phone number and your wife's social security number. It's all out there. Get it out with Delete Me. They can help. Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. Now at a special discount for our listeners. get 20% off your Delete Me plane when you go to

joindeleteeme.com slash Nate and use promo code Nate at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to joindeleteeme.com slash Nate, enter code Nate at checkout. That's joindeleteeme.com slash Nate. Code Nate. Help me pronounce this last name. Damon.

Damon. Damon Vince Herrera. That's fun. I think that that was a good job. He sounds like a pitcher too. Yeah. Yeah. He does sound like a pitcher, but Vince Herrera sounds like the whole name.

They don't need the Damon in there. You know what I mean? Yeah. You don't even need a first name, Damon. Vince Herrera. Yeah. that's a good name. We were at Steven Rogers' special taping and had a blast. He was so good. Yes. We were at the early show and he messed up the intro to his coffee shop. Okay. He had to start the joke over, but the way he did it was so funny. All right, Damon. I don't think he was this sarcastic.

Would a comedian consider including that reset in a tape special, or do you always go for the smooth option? Great question. Do you want me to read it better? No, I liked how you read it. Especially smooth. Yeah. Yeah. All right, I'll read it in a normal way. No. We were at Steven Rogers special taping. I don't like this one. And we had a blast.

You still like this? We were at Steven Rogers special taping and we had a blast. He was so funny. He was so good. Do you remember this moment? I do. I have unfortunately done it in both recordings I've ever done, like for an album.

And I do think those are fun, like real moments in our shows and stuff. But then you're like, well, does it take away from the joke? Does it? Is that what makes this joke funny? You know, so I decided against it. But sometimes it is like the best thing I have. I think I kept it in my first special before he was super, which is on YouTube. And I kept the messing up thing. before he was super, which is on YouTube.

And I kept the messing up thing, but I like recovering from like flubs on stage and stuff. It makes them feel like they're part of, like it's a special moment. And it breaks the fourth wall. And it grounds you too. Yeah, it breaks the fourth wall a little bit. Yeah, it keeps me in the present moment, which I like. I like it too, in reality,

but once you're like actually like, I'm about to put the present moment, which I like. I like it too, in reality, but once you're like, actually like, I'm about to put this special out, I always opt to go, nah, let's just do it the right way. Because if you didn't, your special would be three hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like, you know, I do.

Season two. That's why your show's an hour 20. Yeah, I keep going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how the joke goes. That's not how the joke goes. Still every joke three times. Yeah, hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, show a bit because today's topic is coffee. Now do you drink coffee Stephen? Yes. This was a big, big coffee guy. Okay, okay. Huge coffee guy. Black coffee. All right, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. All right, how do you guys? Black coffee. Straight black? Yeah. Just black. I never put anything in it. Are you the only one? What do you do?

Apparently. What do you do? I do some cream and sugar. How much cream? How much sugar? One little creamer packet and one packet of oh, that's great. Yeah. Okay. You don't do like caramel drip or whatever No, a little packet of caramel Heart what is that? I always see like it's a cup of coffee. Then they make a little heart foam art It's a lot. Yeah, what is that that they're putting in? I think a lot of they're not putting up What is that that always see? Like it's a cup of coffee and then they make a little heart. Foam art. It's a lot. Yeah. But what is that that they're putting in it? I think a lot.

They're not putting up. What is it that they're putting into? I think. Just foam? Maybe. Foam of what? Maybe steamed milk. Steamed milk.

Hot milk. Yeah. Sound gross? Hot milk is okay. It's room temp milk you don't want. Really? Yeah. Do you ever drink, do you drink hot milk before you go to bed?

Why is that a thing? I've always. I think it's a glass of warm milk. Yeah, that sounds like something you put on your sleeping hat. Yeah. And then you. Has this candle, candle in one hand, milk in the other. In my gown. Can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps put me to sleep. You guys know that reference?

You can trouble me for a warm glass of. Oh, that's. You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. That's been stellar. Yeah, check out the name, Jack. You're in my world now, Ramon. Happy Go More 2 coming out soon. Yeah. Is it? On Nate Lane YouTube. I looked up how... I've already forgotten now... how people... Americans take their coffee. I think I sent you the link to that. Okay. and pull it up stall for about five seconds. All right. All right. There's a bunch of different methods for brewing.

Yes, there's poor over drip French press. Oh, yeah. I don't know what any of these mean. Well, I know from Dusty Special. Yeah, that's you know, those two poor over. I had a French press I used to travel with back in the day. Wow. Yeah, because I had a French press I used to travel with back in the day. Wow. Yeah. Cause I had a little hot plate. So I would heat up water on the hot plate,

pour it into the French press. They must have thought you were making drugs in your room. Oh yeah. I actually would put a towel, I would put a towel under the door so they wouldn't know I was cooking steaks on the hot plate. So pour over is the one that takes so long, right? Yeah, it's like, yeah, but like if you're

in the, if you're on the road, you can go to the restaurant and get a hamburger for 10 bucks, or you can go to the grocery store and get a steak for 10 bucks and cook it in your room. It's like, why do I want to eat this whack hamburger when I can eat all? Whack. I'll have a whack. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, pour over.

Yeah. Pour over takes a while. That's your joke. Yes. Yeah. He had a joke in his special. Special called Working Man. Which I watched.

On Netflix. When I was putting this together, I watched that clip. Very funny. Yeah. Laughing in my hotel room. Great special. Come in. Oh, sorry. I'm doing my thing.

All right. So there's pour over drip, French press. Anybody else want to guess any? Iced. Crap. Cold brew. Cold brew. Crap.

Yep. What is crap? Frappuccino. Let's say blended. I guess. Maybe this is an espresso. Espresso's one. Espresso, yeah. Chem guess. Maybe this is an espresso's one. Oh espresso, yeah.

Chemex. Chemex? What is that? Isn't that what it made them the Ninja Turtles? A beaker, maybe? Fully washed Ethiopian. That's really special. Okay.

That is a real, Yeah, it's a type of, Ethiopian coffee. Yeah, it's a, I drink a lot of Ethiopian coffee. I do it's a- I drink a lot of Ethiopian coffee. I do too. I don't know what fully washed means still. It's a funny line.

They wash the beans? I guess, I don't know. It would seem that way. They say a lot of coffee has a lot of, I think they say fecal matter, like- Yeah, well there's the cat poo coffee. Yeah. What is that? There's coffee that they feed,

like I think they feed the beans to cats or something. And then the cats poop it out. And then they- Oh, I don't know. I'm not familiar with that. What's the purpose? I think we need to go to the internet soon. You want organic, you have to get organic coffee.

Otherwise it's so much pesticides on it. I went to- They get burned out of there when it heats up. It's like paste pesticides on it. I went to a... They get burned out of there when it heats up. It's like pasteurizing it. You get that coffee hot, dude, you're burning out all those impurities. I hope so. Burning out those bacteria. I hope you're right. Oh yeah, dude. You get like, even like a love's truck stop, they burn all those. Oh yeah. So hot. Actually, you know what? I'm glad we're talking about coffee. I was driving from, I was in Texas. What was the town? It was a great town. Had a great time. Beaumont.

Beaumont, Texas to San Antonio. And I stopped along the way, me and Connor Larson, we stopped at like a coffee. The first place we went was closed. This is a Saturday. First place we went closed. Next place was like a food truck for coffee. It took 20 minutes to get the coffee. It was so long. I mean, literally 20 minutes to get this coffee. It was insane. And we got it.

And then we're driving down the road. We're like, I don't even feel like I had coffee. And then, so we go into another small town in Texas. I'm hanging out out front. I go in, I go, oh, it wasn't a coffee either, by the way. It was an Americano, which is okay in a pinch, not the same. It's espresso with a lot of hot water.

So then I go to another place, small town. I was just raving about how cool this place looked in this middle of this small town. We go in, I order a coffee. The guy goes, all I got, he couldn't even come up with a word. And I go, I go, you're, you're breaking my heart right now. I go, you about to say Americano? He goes, yes, Americano. I go, I go, yeah, I'll take that. And then I go to the bathroom and the girl's making the Americano and then I see her pour milk in there. And then she starts calling, she

goes, Americano, Americano. And I go, I'm pretty sure that's mine, but I didn't ask for milk in there. And she goes, she goes, well, I can make you another one if you want. And I go, nah, that's okay. And then I just left it laying there. I'd already paid for it. I just left it. I don't want it. And I was so, I was so beaten down at this point. And then I go outside and this couple comes out and I'm kind of like in their way and I'm a little depressed now and kind of in their way. And I go, oh, sorry. And then the guy goes, hey, big fan.

And I go, whoa, I'm like mad depressed. And I go, ah, this is a weird time. And then I went to Love's truck stop, finally in desperation. And it was, it hit the spot. It was what I needed. It was right there. Yeah, all along.

Yeah. You don't even know what Americano means at a Love's Truck Stop. Yeah, yeah. We got a big pot of coffee back there, poured it in a styrofoam cup. Yeah. It was a cowgirl coffee.

Yeah, cowgirls. You know that? No. Apparently that's like, there's multiple locations. Yeah. Cowgirls coffee is like a, it's like, there's multiple locations. Yeah. Cowgirl's coffee is like a coffee, it's like a- Hooters, but coffee? Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. You been there? I'm fine, no. I'm fine with a coffee shop. I don't need that. You know what though, we went to that, Cowgirl's coffee, and it was a really good coffee. The coffee's good?

It was very good. Good coffee over anything else. Because in my joke, and that is true, the idea is like, I was like, I don't want this coffee. I was like, I wanted to get good coffee and I don't want strip club coffee. Right. And then we saw the girl inside and I was like,

well, I don't know, let's get a little cup of coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it was really good. It was a very good coffee. She was at the show. When we pulled up, the girl goes, hey, there was two sides to this, right? And the other side, there was a guy in like a Trans Am,

basically, that's what I thought about. The guy was in a Trans Am. And then we pull up, it's me and Evan Burke and Chance Willie, and we're in this car and we had just done a show at The Grove and the girl has been talking to the trans am, we pull up and she goes, oh, I was just talking about you guys

and she goes to the trans am, these are the guys I was telling you about and then I swear this guy like got a wheel speeding out of there. He was so, it was like, it was like, we just blocked this guy. He was so mad. He like sped away. I think gravel hit the side of the building.

Wow. It was great. She'd seen you the night before at the show? Yeah. This is in Arkansas. Yeah. Oh, sweet. I'll go there then.

Fayetteville. Yeah. And then she said, I like living here in Fayetteville. It's like the Portland of the South. That's what she said. I bet it is. I don't think it is. I'm gonna go with no. All right, so coffee actually started in Ethiopia. Oh, it was used by nomadic tribes for thousands of years, or hundreds, and it wasn't until the 1400s that people figured

out they could roast its seed. So, the story is there was a goat herder named, in Ethiopia, named Caldi. He noticed that his goats, flock of goats nibbling on this bright red berry, and they seemed to be more perky. So, then he tried to eat some himself. Like, this is pretty good. So, then he took it to a monk in a nearby monastery. The monk disapproved of their use. That's why you're messed up. Disapproved of the use, threw them into the fire. Then an enticing aroma come out,

causing the other monks to come in and investigate. The roasted beans were quickly raked from the embers, ground up and dissolved in hot water, yielding the world's first cup of coffee. Wow. How about that? That's pretty awesome. That was all in Ethiopia? Yep.

I love that the monk, all it took was a good smell. He's like, you know what, maybe this goat herd is onto something. There's one better. There's one better. In Europe, coffee shows up, and it's essentially a real world metaphor for Islam because the Arabs drink coffee while the European Christians drink wine. So, the Catholic officials and the vinenders, I guess that's the wine people, worried the beverage would catch on. So they went to Pope Clement the Eighth to ban it. But unfortunately for the priests and wine makers, the Pope decided to try a cup of coffee before he made his decision. He was so taken with the drink, he decided to embrace it. He said Said why the Satan's drink is so delicious

that it would be a pity to let the infidels use it exclusively. Then coffee was in Europe. You know, all right, you're on board with that one. I don't know what went on there. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Same thing, same thing. They went to the Pope, like, you gotta ban this.

And then he tried it. He tried it, he was like, that was so good. But why do you call it Satan's drink? He was being sarcastic. He's like, because it was, I it. He was like, that was so good. But why do you call it Satan's drink? He's being sarcastic. He's like, because it's being, I think. Yeah, like, yeah, like, because that's what the Arabs were drinking. They were trying to pitch it to him as Satan's drink. He's like, well, Satan's drink is too good. Let's all drink it. A little sarcasm. Yeah. Okay. And then I'll keep going. In the United States, now it's America. The Boston Tea Party happened 1773.

You know, people in England drink tea. That was their big drink. And then they throw the tea over and the Americans were like, we can't keep drinking tea. That's unpatriotic. So we started drinking coffee. That's when coffee started getting reduced. Wow. It became like the thing we drink more than tea. That's awesome. according to this. That's really cool Yeah, and now we got Starbucks Yep, in every corner. Yep. I went to Costa Rica and did a coffee tour of like the the bean plants or whatever and I don't know what the bean farm and where Costa Rica

in lanyard loud La Fortuna the The Beanyard. The Beanyard. The Vineyard. And they were saying like places like your Duncan and your Starbucks, those are bad

beans. Yeah. And they're like burnt and all that. You want a lighter bean. It's much stronger. Let me guess. You want the beans that they had? Exactly. Yes, exactly. Well, I agree, though. I talk about Starbucks being burned all the time, and so many people agree with me. And you can get good, you can get really good coffee out there. And it's like Starbucks,

I drink Starbucks a lot because it is caffeinated and it's dependable. But when you start drinking good coffee, it is not good. Yeah. Well, then what sounds like you shouldn't drink good coffee. All you've done is it just ruins other things for you. Well, I mean, you could say that about anything. Getting something nicer ruins the bad thing. I agree. Yeah, I agree. Well, yeah.

I mean, it's like you could have a really good. You're not going to be able to have a great burger. That would be like you keeping your podcast going instead of doing this one. How's your podcast? Not great. I've not been doing it for a while. You know, you said Costa Rica. I would tell you about when I opened for a Tony tone.

And I think about this all the time in Greensboro and somebody said something he goes where are you from she said Costa Rica and he goes you from the coast of Puerto Rico? I was dying laughing at them that's so funny. That's really good. But you were there? I was there. And then there's, I went to Merritt Coffee in, in Texas. It's I was with Dustin Nickerson and they took us to- Big coffee snob. Yeah. Big coffee.

He's from Seattle. Yeah. And I'm blanking on where Merritt Coffee's based, but we went to the roastery or the beanery and same thing. They showed us the beans and it was like really good. The lighter the bean, the better, the stronger the roast and all that. It's like become this thing that I really like learning.

Yeah, they do say that lighter coffee has more caffeine than dark coffee, which I wish that that weren't the case because I like a lighter roast. But I don't want to be so jacked up. Oh, I love it. I make a fairly weak coffee at home because I don't want to be so jacked up. Oh, I love it. I make a fairly weak coffee at home because I don't want to be too jacked. I like drinking coffee.

So I want to consume more of it. That's true. And be less jacked up. I like to have a headache in my eyelid twitches. That's what I try to go for. Dusty, did you ever do decaf? No. I mean, I was on the road with Henry last weekend, Henry Cho, and we both want to go take a nap in our hotel room, but we also

both wanted a good cup of coffee. So we got decaf to taste it just as good. Yeah. That's really great. I don't know. I can't support it. Why is that? I don't know. There's just something about it. It feels like voodoo. Yeah, Mike. I don't, I don't know. I don't trust like a seedless watermelon. Yeah, seedless watermelon, non alcoholic beer. Yeah, it's like, yeah, all perfectly fine. But you don't like when I worked at the country club, when we would do big events, like weddings and stuff. We would have, you know, you do coffee after dinner and we had a big pot that's a decaf and we had a big pot that was calf and I'd walk around and go, and let me tell you something, dude, it was all caffeinated coffee.

It just becomes, it becomes too difficult to keep them separate. So we would just give everybody regular coffee. You want to do in that situation is give them all decaf. We want to keep the party going. Yeah. That's right. You're right. That would make more sense. I think I remember I told my mom that she was horrified. Yeah. You're going to give somebody a heart attack. Give some old people. Oh, sure. In the restaurant, we would do that sometimes be all decaf. Well, that's probably why they were sucking on all the fries. Yeah they need salt to keep hydrated. Do you know how they get the caffeine out? How they get the what? The

caffeine out of the coffee beans. Not like your fries, no. What do you mean? How do they get the caffeine out? Boil it out? Are they fake beans? They soak the green seeds in hot water called Swiss water process or steam them and then they use a solvent to dissolve the caffeine. What's the solvent? That's I don't know. See that's where they get you. It's a trigger word for you. And the extracted caffeine is usually sold to pharmaceutical industry. How about that? Yeah. Do they put caffeine in like goodies powder and stuff like that. Probably so.

Yeah. There's a... Caffeine is good for a headache. That's why any of the BC powder, it's all got caffeine in it. Cause that helps. I didn't know that. Also, you just drink in water sometimes.

You would just be dehydrated. Put a little salt in water, not table salt, like sea salt in water, drink it salt, like sea salt in water. Drink it. It'll help your headache. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Or ibuprofen. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You take the, yeah, you take their drugs or you just have a little salt there. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Dusty walking through like the ER of some hospital. Yeah. I just got to use some salt. Yeah. But he got any salt. I got shot in the face last night. Well, have you tried a little? Well, I didn't say all pain, but you know, it's like, I have a tumor in my head. Well, I heard that when my mom was giving you a fruit tree in your yard, when my mom was giving birth to me, she asked for salt water.

You wanted an epidural? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bring over some Dasani. Sea salt. You can take, you've heard about like, they give birth in the bathtub? Yeah. Yeah. Put some salt in there.

Yeah. Epsom salt. Get it going. Dusty, would you ever consider growing your own coffee beans? Yeah, I want to. Oh, that's a great idea. It wouldn't work because...

Well that's what I think. That's the right environment. Yeah, that's what I think too. Yeah. That was so great. I want to though. Yeah. What do you mean?

Is that Tennessee specifically or all of America? Well, it has to be all of America. So growing and growing any coffee beans? I think some in California. I think California, you've got to have the right environment. California is, it's like, man, I wish there were different, there were different things about California because it's so good for growing.

It is the growing state. The coffee belt. But they ruined it. Is the coffee producing region where coffee can grow. It's located between the tropic of cancer and Capricorn, basically around the equator. Yeah. It's 50 countries, Africa, Asia,

Central America, and South America. You hit the E hard. That's 50 countries, Africa, Asia, Central America, South America. You hit the E hard. That's why I want us to really like. Is that how you say it? You hit the E hard. I want us to equator. You read that like Dusty, one of Dusty's comments. Rumps.

Right in the equator. That's why I'm like, the drug cartel situation in Mexico. That's why I'm like, how are we not just working that out so that we can just hang out in Mexico. That's why I'm like, why don't, how, how are we not just working that out so that we can just hang out in Mexico and grow? I'd love to buy a little land out in Mexico and grow. I know, but it's like, I don't know, they've scared you about it. Maybe it's super nice down there, who knows, but the climate's great. We could grow a lot of

things. You have to. Now I don't think. Everything's yellow there. And have to do a lot of research. You're watching Breaking Bad. Oh, like. The second they go to Mexico, everything's just yellow. Oh, the filter? Yeah.

The filter is crazy. Yeah. Sicario. And then when I went there, I went to Mexico once and everything's, everything's the same color. The trees are green here. Yeah. You're driving across the border.

You see the yellow. Yeah. Just driving it. That's what I thought it would be, man. Yeah. You're driving across the border. You see the yellow. Yeah, just driving it too. That's what I thought it would be, man. Brazil is the most producer since 1852. Wow. Brazil. That's that guy. What's the guy's name? Juan Valdez. Oh, yeah. Was he Brazilian? His name is Columbia. Oh, well, that would be a different country. Yeah. I guess. I think Brazil too, you know? I don't know. They say Brazil's dangerous, but I think that it'd be so great to be able to just own some land down there. I'm not ready to make a bunch of money in comedy and then quit and move to a remote island place like that. Just grow coffee. Well, Brazil's not an island at all. Like Mexico? Like an island place like, you know what I mean Well, Brazil's not an island like Mexico like an island island place like you know, tropical

Yeah near the equator. Yes Yeah, he's making fun the way I said it which he's equal. Oh when I went down I say equator too Yeah, like Ecuador You say equa equator equator Equal equator. How do you do? Okay. So like, uh, two plus two equals. What do you call the whole thing? The answer. The sum of the equation.

Yeah. The equation. Equation. Yeah. Yeah. The equation. Well, you do say equals. You're right. Equals. You don't say equals. Two plus two equals what?

Draw that on somebody. The equator. I think that would be a great way. What's that equal to? Yeah. That would be a great way to have someone lose their mind. Yeah. Oh my God. And everybody's saying it that way. Would you say this is Equal? Is this Equal? Do you say Ec-Commerce? Ec-Commerce. I've been working out at Equinox. That's true, but E is a prefix to commerce. Also for Equator. Yeah, so it's just equator. Yeah. Electronic equator. That's the way you say it. The equator. That's right. iMessage, iMac, equator. That's right. That's right. Email. All right, so the traditional method of growing coffee beans. It's an electronic quater. It's right. Traditional method. One too many. The traditional method of planting coffee is to place 20 seeds in each hole at the beginning

of the rainy season. But this method loses about 50% of the seed's potential. It's about half fell to sprout. You wouldn't know this, Dusty. A more effective process of growing coffee used in Brazil is to raise seedlings in nurseries that are then planted outside after 6 to 12 months. Yeah, raising seedlings is always the way to go with anything. What does it mean to raise?

Don't walk out on your seedlings. Well, you get, you know, so you see, you get a tray of like. Deadbeat farmer. Like, uh, like 10, 10 little seed pods. Oh, okay. And then you put your, you can put one seed per pod. Like a little beer flight. And then, yeah, and then whatever grows, you know,

then you can go and plant that out. You don't have to waste so many. Why don't they do coffee flights at coffee shops? I would love that so much. If you want to try a different, I want to try an Americana, I want to try what your frat. Oh, like, that's good. I want to try all that.

Different roasts. Just do it out, and then I'll try a little bit of each. Yeah, I bet there is some place that does something like that, but it'd be hard to work a latte and an Americana and all that. That's a lot of work. You just burn your mouth on each one? Yeah. Oh, because they're all pretty labor-intensive to make. some place that does something like that, but it'd be hard to work a latte and an American and all that. That's a lot of work. You just burn your mouth on each one?

Yeah. Oh, because they're all pretty labor intensive to make. Why can't you have them all pre-made? And most people are not, and I'm not saying I can't either, but most people are not going to be able to taste the difference in like the roast. But I could taste the difference in a cold brew versus a black coffee. Yeah. I want to try both.

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plus switch therapist at any time. Your wellbeing is worth it. So visit betterhelp.com slash Nate to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Nate. Yeah. When they tell you, because the three of us are black coffee drinkers,

when they tell you like the different notes. You're out of this one. You're still in the- Brian, take a laugh real quick. Right? But like when they tell you the different notes, like this one's got a chocolate thing, all these other stuff. Stop it right there there I've never been in a place like that

but really down to now I have I have you know what I'm talking to the two you taste any of that it just depends I mean sometimes you can but sometimes it's like yeah it's a little a little much yeah that was face gets too red you know it's a little too much how tell. They tone it down boys. They'll tell you so much and I'm like, I just in the cup. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like that beer, liquor, wines, all that can be like that where they get too into it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I is this a good one?

That's what I'm like. This is a good one. Beer before liquor. Never been sicker. You ever hear that? Yes. You know the second part? Liquor after beer, never fear. Oh, I heard you're in the clear. In the clear as I heard. Okay.

But they kind of echo to each other. They kind of echo to each other. That was good. I said they kind of echo to each other. This guy's quick, dude. Half of we, April 11th. I keep looking at this like I have stuff on it. Yeah, that's why I had to put it away.

I don't know what I'm doing. There are two main types of coffee beans, Arabica, which is generally more highly regarded, and Robusta tends to be bitter and has less flavor, but a better body than Arabica. Better body? Yeah, so. What does that mean? Better looking. That means Robusta went to the prom and Arabica did not yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah She's a nice but robust is where to go. Yeah. I've always said that. More robust

of the better. So do you guys think coffee is good for you? I think so in moderation. Yes. Yeah. And I don't believe whatever this paper says. 2017 reviews said coffee is good for you in moderation. Great. So you don't believe it. So it says it can cause harm. All right. This is what I've been working on. That is, I'll hand it to you, Dusty. That's a much more vibrant shade of red. Yes. But I think it's, I can't really tell where it starts and where it, you know. If you're listening, just watch it. You know, if you're listening, just watch it. I don't know what explain gave up. Try it. I took the red for the picture you're talking about earlier.

It is a he does look more red and that was wonderful. Sorry about that. I got a little distracted. Sorry. Dusty had a legendary moment, the Predators game where he was kind of ringing the bell and got got really red. It's the thing where you wind up, makes the sound and I was winding and the lady told me she goes whichever way you wind it it'll catch on and make sound but I kept winding kept winding never caught on so on my own I flipped the other way and then and then I look up and my face is just like blood red. On the Jumbotron. On the Jumbotron. But man, I worked that thing.

Anyway, three to four cups of coffee daily is okay. Anything? Oh, great. Three to four. That's amazing. That's a lot. It feels like a lot when you're doing it. Yeah. That's great. The coffee break originated in Stouton. Oh, I remember that little paper, little pamphlet.

I used to read the coffee break. What is that? Is that a, well, I mean, I guess it is a pamphlet. I don't, but it's, you've never heard a coffee break like at work? Like, like a water cooler break? Oh, okay. Yeah. There used to be a little newspaper.

Talking about Highlights magazine. What are you talking about? I never knew about that. Talking about a communist... Reader's Diary. Oh yeah, I remember the coffee break. Have you heard the good news? It originated in Stouton, Wisconsin when immigrant men became employed at this wagon factory

and they said, well, agree to work there under the condition that we can go home early every morning and afternoon to attend to chores and drink coffee. Wow. And now the city of Stouten celebrates the coffee break every summer with the Stouten coffee break festival. Whoa. Took away the break, but now we have a festival for it.

Yeah. No, Stouten coffee break festival. What kind of hold do you think coffee break? They took away the break. I see what you're saying. There's no more break during the day. I got you. Do you think if terrorists come into America, obliterate our coffee supply, do you think,

how much do you think that impacts American life? A huge amount. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've taken breaks from coffee before, so I know that I would be fine. I would adjust and just not do it right, but there are people that I see at Starbucks really early in the morning getting giant Espresso's and things like that where it's like you would never make it. Yeah There's definitely a physical dependency on it, but I mean even just how much is tied into the fabric of our

Lives like we've got our entire work is tied into the fabric of our lives. Like we've got our entire workday structured around. The amount of people I see doing their job at the coffee shop. The like, I'll go in there and I'll write in the morning at my local coffee shop for maybe I'll be there for like an hour. Of course you do. I have, I have rules. Okay.

Because my rule is I have to have something in my cup. If my cup is empty, I have to reorder or I have rules. Okay. Because my rule is I have to have something in my cup. If my cup is empty, I have to reorder or I have to go. That's my rule. Oh, wow. I'm very strict about it. An hour's not bad though. Do you face the wall? Or do you face the whole Starbucks everybody goes,

oh, I'm writing. Unfortunately, mine, there is no wall to face. It's convenient. That's why I picked it. I, mine, there is no wall to face. That's why I picked it. You know, I also have my my QR code on my table. I support coffee shop writing. I'm a bit you know, when I used to go to Kudu coffee, my friend Charles Coramadi would come in there. Yeah, I'd be writing. You know, Charles, yeah. Yeah.

Now how many like, what's the limit of someone allowed in a coffee shop for? Because I had I feel like it's a very opinion. I think alone writing like that, if you're not ordering over and over again, I think an hour. I think an hour. Yeah. You have to be working. If you can't be scrolling. Yeah.

Yeah. If you're buying, hang out all day. Yes. I think you feel it out if you're taking up, like if they're trying to turn over tables. There's... Get out of there. Yeah, there's like, I think six to eight tables if you're taking up, like if they're trying to turn over tables, there's get out of there. Yeah, there's like, I think six to eight tables

at my coffee shop. Wow. If you have a server also, that's another thing. Yeah. You gotta either tip in a way that they know you're gonna take care of them. Yeah. And you're worth the turnover they're missing

or you gotta get out of there. Yeah, I saw a thing about Eminem when he was a kid, he would go to Burger King, you buy one drink at the Burger King, and then that gave you license to just sit there all day. So they would just sit all day at Burger King, refilling the drink. So, that's like a lower form of what you're doing.

A lot of people have said I'm like Eminem. That's right. Where do you- You explained that on half a week. Eminem. That's good. you explain that on half a week? That's good. Even him. April 11th. Yeah.

Uh, where do you guys mostly get your coffee at home or at a coffee shop? Both. I order cough. I order from Merritt that I mentioned earlier. Uh, and then I go to my local coffee shop and, and, uh, so I'll make some at home, but I'll go start my morning in a local coffee shop. I order most of mine okay but I do like to go to coffee shops yeah we like to go get a you know what me and my wife would like to go get a

strong coffee once in a while. Oh yeah I hear you yeah yeah yeah spice things up yeah I very much think of coffee as a means to an end unfortunately I don't really enjoy coffee the way that you guys do. Um, no, that doesn't make, that's just, I'm, I'm jealous of you guys. Yeah. It is. Um, so I drink, they got a Keurig at my house. I put a little plastic pot in.

Yeah. Kroger brand donut shop coffee. Oh, yeah. Fills up a coffee. I mean, 10 ounces. I down it before it gets cold. Yeah. I love it.

Oh, that's a great way to start a day. I like the Kroger donut. Great way to start a day. I got rid of my Keurig. Yeah, why is that? Well, I buy coffee, I buy whole bean coffee. And then each morning I grind a little bit of it. Yeah, you love it. And then it takes 10 seconds. No, it's great.

And then, and it's fresh. You can smell like, much like the monk in Ethiopia. I can smell the aroma And then I put it into my coffee pot. Yeah, and I use the brown filters I like to use the brown filter like nine steps. I don't have to do I put it in and press go I Don't know you have to get the thing out of the box. You have to put it in you have to lift it up I don't know. You have to get the thing out of the box. You have to put it in. You have to lift it up. You have to lift it up. And then you crush it down and then it goes,

oh, water's low. And then you got to go fill the water. And you got to reopen it. And it goes, you didn't put the, you have to do it in the steps. So then you already have the pod in there. It releases the pod. Yeah. I think it's way more intuitive than you guys.

And it eats up the plastic. So you get a lot of microplastics. There you go. That's what I'm talking about. But it'll all get, all those microplastic. There you go. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. But it'll all get all those microplastic is burned out from that side. I don't know. They get burned. They burn out the microplastic. Yeah, there was a TikTok reel that went viral. The guy

basically saying that that it the microplastics are causing people to get sick and anyway, more testing is required. I told you before, the farmer's almanac has it. In the back of the farmer's almanac, it tells you what plastics are okay. And every, everything- Which farmer's almanac this year? Every year.

So in like the 1700s, they were talking about plastics? Well, I mean, you know, recent years. Okay. I mean, not the 1700s they were talking about plastics? Well I mean you know recent years. Who's writing the Farmers' Omni? Poor Richard? Benjamin Franklin did originally but who's writing it now? I don't know. It's probably some scientists. Benjamin Franklin's ghostwriter. I don't think it's scientists. Who do you think it is? It's farmers. Is it farmers predicting the meteorology and talking about plastics and all that kind of stuff? Yeah. Okay. They've evolved.

Why do you trust them? Well, I trust them because what they're saying is, hey, there's certain plastics. And right here, this is what I'm looking for. See this? This little triangle has a number in it. Okay. And that number in the farmer's almanac, it'll break down whether those numbers what numbers are safe for 27. Yeah, I think here's a 2727. I think I'm just a seven. Oh, nope. That's a seven. I was looking at a weird. So then it tells you call a doctor like I have a shaker bottle. You know, one of those workout shaker. Yes. And

the BPA free. The bottom part of the bottle has a triangle and has a number in it. And in that number, it says it is safe for food and human consumption. But then you take the lid off inside the lid different number and that number says not safe for food or human consumption. So inside the thing that you're drinking. The lid, as you're drinking it. You should not eat the lid.

You should not drink, you should not put food in the lid. Okay. But it doesn't count if it's touching the lid on the way out. I think it does. I stopped using the bomb. Yeah, I would. Yeah. Wow.

And then the Keurigs, like you buy Starbucks Keurigs, that number on the plastic actually says it's safe. Yeah. But I buy Organic Coffee Keurigs Publix brand, which I love Publix, but I use that and their Keurig cup says not safe. So don't do organic. So what's the number, what's the safe number? I don't know. I have it at home. I don't have them memorized. Most scientific analyses of the accuracy of farmer's almanac forecasts have shown a 50% rate of accuracy.

All I'm talking, I'm not talking about following the entire farmer's almanac. I'm just talking about- Just the stuff that agrees with you? I'm just talking about the plastic. It's not agreeing or disagreeing with me because, you know, this is an entire book. I'm talking about one page.

I'm not getting into the astrology of the farmer's almanac. The only time I hear about it is when they predict how many snows we're gonna have. Yeah, I'm not vouching for them, but I'm just saying, they're giving us some information on the plastics. Right. And they're saying this stuff is okay for you to use

for food, this one's not. That's all I'm saying. So you grind your beans. And I avoid the plastics. I, yeah, I didn't know any of that. Well, you learn a lot here for me on this podcast. I mean, I get a lot of- You weren't here last time I did it. I didn't learn it as much. I know. You won't learn a lot without me around. You won't learn much.

Do you read the Farmer's Almanac for other things? I know, I know. You won't learn a lot without me around. You won't learn much. Do you read the farmer's almanac for other things? No, I bought it actually. I saw TikTok on this thing. So I bought a farmer's almanac just for that plastics. Ah, wow. I don't, yeah. I mean, I don't care about, I'm not a farmer.

I mean, I grow things, but I'm not a farmer. I don't care about that sort of stuff. And they do get into a lot of astrology and a lot of weird stuff that I'm also not into. stuff. And they do get into a lot of astrology and a lot of weird stuff that I'm also not into. Sure. The farmer's all that gets into astrology? They get into a lot of stuff.

I would not have felt that. Wow. Yeah, but I mean, I think that to some degree, there's astronomy, there's astrology, there's some where you're like, you're trying to, oh, I was born on this day, so this is gonna happen to me today. But there's also, you know, astrological signs, you know, throughout our human history, these have been this day, so this is gonna happen to me today. But there's also, you know, astrological signs of, you know, throughout our human history these have

been this way and they've been able to predict certain things based on the stars. To a 50% degree of accuracy. Well, according to the... but listen, this is Wikipedia. They're gonna slander the farmers' almanac. That's right. Wikipedia has a financial incentive to slander the farmer's almanac. I agree. Yeah. I mean, astrology. Yeah.

Most people know their, uh, their sign, but they don't know their blood type. Another joke from his specialty. All right. Cup of Joe, you guys ever heard Cup of Joe? Cup of Joe. Yeah. I've heard of Cup of Joe. Hey, don't ruin his whole special here, guys.

Yeah. I guess I'm giving away too much. He didn't do any of the punchlines. I didn't either. He never does. April 11th. I'm giving away too much. I'm sorry.

Uh, it's sometimes called cup of Joe. There's three theories on what, why it was called that. During World War I, the secretary of Navy, Joe Daniels banned alcohol on Navy ships, which meant the strongest drink available was black coffee. So sailors began referring to coffee as a cup of Joe. I like that. Yeah, that makes sense. Um, some think it just comes coffee means Jamoke or mocha Java.

And they just shorten it to Joe. I don't see mocha Java turn into Joe. What about Jamoka? Like you go to Arby's, you get a Jamoca shake. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Jamoca shake. Jamoca comes from Moca Java.

That's a coffee. You never had a Jamoca shake? No. Sloppy Jamoca. And just some say it's the drink of the average Joe. Look at that dude. Wow. Joe Moca shake.

Oh yeah. I'm thinking Arby's. I sure am. Where's the meat? No, that's- We have the meat. What was that? Where's the beef? Yeah, that's Wendy's. That's Wendy's. Yeah, no, that's Wendy's. Wait, which one's Wendy's? Where's the beef? Quiznos is good. I think Quiznos used to say, where's the beef? Quiznos is tasty, right? Well, they stole it from Wendy's. Because they were saying, there was shots at Subway. They were saying Subway had,

just using a little bit of meat, but Quiznos was using a lot of meat. But we have the meats, that's Ving Rhames. That's Arby's, yeah. When I was a kid, there was a very famous commercial for three old ladies looking at, I think it was supposed to be a McDonald's burger, which is very small patty.

And the lady goes, where's the beef? And that was a very popular. That's good. Which one's dynamite? I've worked with Jimmy Walker. You did? Yeah, here's Amy. He was an open micer.

He opened for me. Back then he was saying TNT and you're like, what have you tried dynamite? I gave him his line. Some religions discourage drinking coffee. Mormons, I agree with, albeit wise guys. May 16th, 17th. It's from the words of wisdom in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There's a stain from coffee, tea, as well as alcohol and tobacco.

And studies have shown, UCLA did a study. You lost me on that one right there. What? I mean, coffee and tobacco, I mean, that's where it's at. You heard it here, folks. Yeah, that's where it's at. You heard it here, folks. Yeah, that's where it's at. UCLA did a study and showed if you eliminated those four things, your life expectancy increases eight to 11 years longer.

Oh, wow. So maybe those are some words of wisdom. Again, wise guys. But alcohol, I've eliminated that. What was the other one? Tobacco. Tobacco. Coffee and tea.

Oh, yeah. Well, I don't do a lot. Well, I do a lot of tea. Soda would be on there then. Caffeine Oh yeah. Tea. I don't do a lot. Well, I do a lot of tea. A soda would be on there then. Caffeine. Yeah. I don't think tea is a problem. Tea has a lot of health benefits.

I've been in some dark spirals with tea. Sweet tea. I've had some real sweet tea. I don't think it's the caffeine. I thought it was the caffeine. What's the problem? I don't think it's that. I thought it was a stimulant of coffee.

That's what I thought too. What is it the problem. I don't think it's I thought it was a stimulant of coffee That's what I thought too. What is it the bean they don't like it's a You say hot drinks, but then they made a ruling that Ice coffee can also is also bad shouldn't drink that as well. I think warm liquids They say is better for your digestion than cold. I don't think these are health related. You know, I mean Well, the words wisdom for your health eight to eleven years For your health of your soul or your body? Well, both I guess but for your body who wrote this Joseph Smith. Well, they were revealed to him. I think oh

They were getting into this of the nitty-gritty with that? I think so. Man, they got into it, huh? Yeah. All right. Wow. I'm sure we'll find out if we're incorrect, if I'm incorrect. Yeah. That's why it's quiet. Let me know at Wise Guys. It's quiet. We talked about this in the Utah episode, I think, when Alex Vludo was on. Do they do dancing, do you know? Do they dance? Yeah, was Thelus in Utah. He'll be in Utah soon. He's looking to do a little dance. It's getting darker. I feel like, I know, but I remember because there's like, because there were high schools in Montgomery that were like Baptist schools where they wouldn't have dances. They would have like dinners and they wouldn't dance.

Oh yeah. Do you think, are you okay with coffee in church? I don't like coffee shops in church, and I also don't really like when people bring their cups into the sanctuary. Yeah. I'm with you there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, just drink it on the way. Yeah. And then when you get to church, like, don't be bringing your beverages into the sanctuary. Yeah. I've never even heard of that. Bringing coffee to the church. Yeah. A lot of these new age churches, you buy coffee right out front. They have coffee shops in the church. I've seen that, but yeah, just bring in your own coffee. Bottle openers on the pews.

Well, a lot of churches have like coffee stands like, you know, set up out in the lobby. I don't support it. What about if it was just like a Bible class? Yeah, if you're just hanging out talking about the Bible. If you're just hanging out, put a drink in there. I think there's a thing about this. Yeah, yeah. At the sanctuary- Have a drink.

Loosen up. Ashtray. Even when churches are doing comedy and stuff, like I've done a couple and I'm like, I don't wanna do it in the sanctuary. I don't wanna do it where you're preaching. I'm not into it. I'm not selling T-shirts at the altar.

Yeah. I know that you do it. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm saying I don't into it. I'm not selling t-shirts at the altar. I know that you do it. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm saying I don't, I don't like it. I did it once. I did not feel comfortable. Yeah. Have you ever heard of cowboy church? No.

I had a buddy. Show there. Have you done a cowboy church? I had a buddy started going and I was like, how is it? He goes, it's great, dude. I just put a lip in and, uh, everybody, everybody's dipping in there. Yeah. That was like his whole selling point. It's more than that. It's not just like a tobacco church. No, it's just guys who

that's kind of their lifestyle is farmers and cowboys. They also believe in God and they have a church. They're everywhere. I did one. They're ripping cigarettes and stuff? Not at the show I did, but this was down in Alabama. Not surprising, but no, nobody was smoking while we were in the thing. So, but yeah, they were very nice and I had fun down there. I just did grow up. I mean, my parents didn't go to church with me a lot, but I did grow up fairly traditional. And I just think there is something about, you know, you go into the sanctuary. I agree. We go in, we're singing songs, we're praising, and then we're, you know, we're reading the

Bible, we're, you know, and it's like, we're not just in there engaging in our pleasures. I agree. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like put the coffee in a thermos and leave it in the car. Have a straw that goes... See, I feel like a water bottle. That's a judgment call. Okay. Maybe if you got some kids, but I don't even think. No water. Let's just go in. It's just an hour. Some are just 45 minutes. We can handle not drinking something for 45 minutes. We can handle not drinking something for 45 minutes.

Some of these churches are two and a half, three hours, too. It's a whole day in there. Yeah. Now, if that's going on. Yeah, bring a pick basket. Got some sandwiches. Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, you might, you know, I remember growing, you might slip a cracker or something going on, but you know, if you get caught, your grandmother's mad at you or whatever, you know, that sort of thing.

And I used to draw a lot of pictures as a kid. But now they're like giving them iPads and I'm like, you gotta, like- No iPad. I wanted to go to this other church. Now they did say it was okay, but they, on the church that said, you know, take the kids to this area.

And I emailed them, I go, can I, I go, I want to visit your church, but I don't leave my kids with strangers. Can I just bring, are they welcome in the sanctuary? And they were like, yes, you know, please bring them. But I just go, no, but I, you just wanted to mess with them. No, I did want to go, but I just mess around and didn't go. And I didn't go yesterday. And it's like, I always want to go. Why do you even talk? Well, because I want to go, but I'm not home a lot on Sundays. And then, you know, Sunday rolls around and I'm like, I'm out of the routine. I mess up. Did they ML you back? Yeah. It's a good way to end. How about that? All right. Well, guys, where are you off to this weekend, Brian? Did you have any top It's a good way to end. How about that?

All right, well guys, where are you off to this weekend, Brian? Did you have any top coffee shops, any lists you wanted to do? Well, I've already done my top five coffee shops in Nashville. Top five worst? No, there's no worst. I mean, I wouldn't do that. I like to lift people up. Yeah, okay. James Joyce, people up. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. James Joyce for one. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, listen, I want that guy to know if he does listen. I'm not mad at you, but you ruined a guy's perfect game. Yeah, he knows, man. He knows. He's upset about it. What if he didn't? Like, it was a perfect game? I just thought they were gonna win.

Potentially ruining his life to some degree. Yeah, he's doing all right. Ruining the pitcher's life? Yeah. Some degree. All right. Let's see. This weekend, I am in Detroit.

Going to hang out at the Burger King with Eminem. I'm at the Detroit House of Comedy, One Show Friday, Two Saturday. Are the Tigers in town? They are not. Brutal. I know. Stadium's right there.

It's a block from the club. Oh, that would have been awesome. But they're not. They're away. April 26, I'm in the Ben Theater, West Bend, Wisconsin. Non-refundable tickets, folks. If you buy tickets. Comedy's subjective.

Comedy's subjective. Some people like what he does. Some people don't. Comedy is subjective. Some people like what he does, some people don't. Most don't, but come to my show. I guess that's all I want to promote right now. Okay. My big promotion is my special comes out here on Nate Land, April 11th, half of Wee. Please check it out.

It's very funny, I've seen it. Thank you. Yeah, please watch it for the love of God. How'd you see it? I have a little insight. He was he was referencing. I think I didn't send it to him. Wow. Yeah. Special. But April 16th, I'll be at the mic drop in San Diego and then April 27th, I'll be here at the lab in Zanies. So please come to that. Yeah, right there. Yeah, right. So please come to that. Yeah.

Right there. Yeah, right there. On the other side. Yeah, please. It sounds like there's people in there. Please come to that one. Yeah, that's it. May 6th, Desire and Weber.

May 16th, Greensburg, Pennsylvania. May 6th, God. All right. Take a month off, why don't you? All right. I lost all my steam right there, Brian. I mean, you give me a hard time about my stuff. You poked my balloon right there.

Guys, if you remember this, in a couple months. This weekend, I'm opening for Kathleen Madigan in Orlando, Florida and Tampa, Florida. That's awesome. So, these are the kind of stuff I don't plug on here because I'm trying to say, you know, for my own sake. Why help Kathleen? Right.

Right. Because she's doing great on her own. I don't think she needs. The promotion of her does not equal like the promotion that you could do for you. That was really good. May 16th, Greensburg, Pennsylvania at the live casino right outside Pittsburgh in the May 31st South Bend, Indiana at the Stock Room East. Real homecoming. Homecoming for me, man. I'm excited.

May 31st, South Bend, Indiana. Haven't been there since. The drop. We did the drop together. So come on out, South Bend and Pittsburgh. It's awesome. Okay. This weekend, I'm doing one show in San Luis Obispo.

Oh. They call it Slow. That's what they call it. Slow. And California. I'll be there on April 12th. That's where I'll be. Next weekend, I'm gonna give a couple here. Next weekend, Brick Town Comedy Club in Tulsa. Tulsa, I'll be there.

18th and the 19th. And then the 1st of May, May 2nd and 3rd, I'm in Denver, Colorado and Colorado Springs. And then this Thursday, tomorrow, I'll be doing a show for the Nashville Comedy Festival, a show with Gobble-Con Live Podcast. Probably doing some evil stuff that I'm not on board with. Oh, the Goblin guy? The Goblin guy.

Yeah, yeah. Oh. He's fine. He's just... Gobble-Con Live Podcast. I'm excited on board with. Oh, the Goblin guy? The Goblin guy. Yeah. Oh. The Goblin guy. He's fine. He's just... GobbleCon live podcast. I'm excited about it, actually. It seems like it'd be fun to be me and Chelsea Lynn, trailer trash Tammy, doing GobbleCon

pod at Zany's tomorrow night, April... April. Just April. Yeah. April 11th, I think it'll be at that point. No, 10th. No, 10th. April 11th is when Half of We comes out. April. Yeah, April 11th, I think it'll be at that time. No, 10th. April 11th is when Half of We comes out. Yeah. Yeah, okay. April 10th. Yeah. You got something to do already on the 11th. Come see me on the 10th. Go watch Half of We. It's my favorite

special on Nate Land this year. Wow. Well, Steven Rogers is very funny. If you guys couldn't tell from the podcast, very funny. And a great joke writer. He worked with me years ago at Junior's in Pennsylvania. It was my favorite weekend at Junior's. It was very fun. It was a hot weekend. We had great sex.

We didn't write together. We did eat at some diner that was like a garage. Yes. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Wow. that was like a garage. Yes. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. Wow. But it was very cold, eerie Pennsylvania, but very fun. Very fun.

Two years less left. It's one of my, you know, I'd not been headlining a lot at that point and you were crushing and I was like, wow, this is gonna be hard for me. Oh, I felt the same watching you. I'm like, this is a headliner. This is a headliner. Like I wanna get to where this is.

That's very sweet. Yeah. That's really sweet. But it was great. Look at here on equal footing. Look at that. All right. Okay. Thank you very much. We're having a good time. Full swing. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.