The Nateland Podcast - #30 Inventions
Episode Date: January 20, 2021This episode, we're discussing inventions. The guys look at the greatest inventions of all time, discuss the greatest inventions of our lifetime, and look at failed inventions. Co-hosts: Brian B...ates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber) Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com #nateland #natebargatze
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello folks! Welcome to Nate Land. Started off with it this time. As always, I'm Nate, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates.
Brian Bates Thank you guys
As always for listening
We got some nice merch this weekend
I got a nice little hat
Nate Land hat
Pretty good
If you're watching you can see it
Who gave us this?
It's a guy Tim Kohanski
Fan of yours
Fan of the podcast
He made that hat for us
Pretty cool
Yeah I like that
It's a good hat
It's the kind of hat I wear
And then also Kevin Best We saw him this weekend Yeah, I like that. It's a good hat. It's the kind of hat I wear.
And then also Kevin Best.
We saw him this weekend.
He came down.
Big Jay was in town.
And I know I said we were going to have Big Jay.
We just weren't able to do it.
You know, it's hard.
Our setup is, it's not just always set up in this room,
so we weren't able to do it. But I went down and hung with jay this weekend he came over and so it was good and uh and kevin came down uh and made us uh
made us some more shirts and then some pictures which we have up right now and uh or not picture
but a drawing art yeah i feel like that's down like that's he gave us a new picture and you're
like all right it's a little more than that. Give us a doodle.
Yeah, it's good.
It was great.
So we got that.
Yeah, I mean, he's also, as people don't know,
he's always the dead horse behind me.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
So that's a play on the Three Stooges.
Yeah.
And do you even know who that is, Aaron?
Three Stooges.
Larry, Moe, and Curly. Yeah. I've never seen him. I've never seen anything, but I know. Sometimes Shemp. stooges yeah and do you even know who that is aaron three stooges larry moe and curly yeah
i've never seen him i've never seen anything but i know sometimes shimp curly was in her
uh you know he wasn't always there oh okay i didn't know that uh yeah i remember three stooges
i mean you it's like mr bean uh yeah would mr, would Mr. Bean be your guy?
Your three stooges?
I think so. Is he not part of it?
Is it a totally different thing?
Is mine Ernest T. Bass?
He's my kind of
crazy guy. He had Mr. Bean.
He had three stooges.
Three stooges.
They came out during World War II,
I think. They did II I think they did
I mean I think it was the 40s
yeah
did you watch them
not live
I've watched them
are you listening to them on the radio
syndication
I like their humor
without something
would y'all sit in the living room
and
cross-legged just
right after Little Orphan Annie yeah yeah Would y'all sit in the living room and cross-legged just...
Right after Little Orphan Annie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it was a good weekend.
Good weekend of getting stuff, which I liked.
So, yes, we are going to start, as always, with the comments.
We love reading your guys' comments.
And so, first up, Marty Ammerling.
Marty Ammerling. I thought it was a woman for some reason it could be could be marty is a woman's name ammerling sounds like a woman's last name
is that i don't know why that kind of does it kind of does for some reason
marty ammerling when you see them, you kind of go, ma'am.
In late October of 2020, I was diagnosed with cancer.
Sorry, Marty.
Complete hopelessness and despair would be the only way I could describe how I felt.
I couldn't crack a smile, sleep, or eat.
I can't remember how, but I stumbled across your podcast as a recommendation in Spotify in late November. I'm finally caught up on all the episodes, and thanks to all of you,
I've been happier and find myself smiling randomly when a random comment you made pops in my head.
Going to bed used to be something I would dread as my mind would race. These nights,
I just put on an episode and fall asleep with a smile on my face. I can't thank you all for
what you've done for me. You're more than just a break from reality.
You're lifesavers.
Marty, thank you.
And we just, sorry about making fun of your name, Marty, but that's awesome.
We hope you're doing great, man.
That's the stuff.
I love that.
Yeah, it's cool.
We get a lot of stuff like that, and that means the most.
That's the hardest to do, to just be dumb idiots.
Did you know we're categorized as an educational podcast on Spotify?
Oh, I like that.
I think people learn some stuff.
I think what you learn from this podcast is just some weird,
like you say something at a party, and they're like,
oh, I didn't know that, and then that's it.
You're not going to be a professor after listening to this right we're just you're in a boring conversation but then later they repeat it at a party and
someone said that you know that's not true yeah yeah where'd you hear it and they go this podcast
list and then they go watch it and they're like, this is who you're listening to? This is where you're getting your information from?
I've been thinking about like,
it's about like boring stuff.
When people tell stories to me,
I don't know if it's my age,
like if you're 40 or just me being a storyteller,
but I mean, I'm always like, all right, we got to wrap.
I do not, if someone starts a story,
I'm like, come on, I can't, I can't,
I can't sit through this.
And it's got to be a mix of you're older.
And the older you get, you're just like, time's a ticking.
I know this story is going nowhere.
But I think as a storyteller, I know.
I know that you're just adding, trying to add in details that don't need to be there.
Because details are funny.
And that's what makes a story. But you got to know what details and when to put them. And they need to be there. Because details are funny, and that's what makes a story,
but you've got to know what details and when to put them,
and they need to be interesting.
I've noticed it a lot lately.
Someone starts a story with me just somewhere, and I'm like, all right.
You've just got to go, all right, where's this?
Hey, you've got to stop and go, all right, what's the end game of this?
Just get to the end of it.
If someone wants to tell a story, just get to the get to the end of it yeah if someone wants to tell a story
just get to it in just regular life and then try it on people you tell the story all the time
if you're if you're telling a story at a party try it first quick get to it quick see if it gets a
laugh and then you can go back and add some detail but you gotta punch it up you know but you gotta
work from that way start Start quick and then expand.
They start with the expanded version
and then they don't ever actually get it.
Was this about Marty's cancer story?
Marty little dragged on there for a little bit.
No, that sounds it sounds like we're really going after Marty.
But we're not.
It was when you said the boring.
Someone said boring, whatever that that's what
made me think of it i thought of that this weekend yeah uh that has nothing to do with marty
marty is the reason we do this podcast tammy dylan nate aaron and borat are absolutely hilarious
this week's rhode island episode was my favorite so far yeah roger federer is in the back is in
the back if you want to go ask him some
questions but he's a talker you could be here all day i was laughing so hard at that i was crying
and my husband ran into the bedroom because he thought something was wrong i couldn't catch my
breath to tell him what i was laughing at i've never laughed so hard in my life uh thank you
tammy that's fun yeah i forgot what it was you know just that you said that we're talking about
the international tennis hall of fame oh yeah you're like roger freder's there yeah yeah he's That's fun. Yeah. I forgot what it was. Just that. You said that. We were talking about the International Tennis Hall of Fame.
Oh, yeah.
You were like,
Roger Federer's there.
He's a talker, though.
He's in the back.
How you guys doing?
You guys enjoying the museum?
It'll be your whole day.
And you're like,
oh, oh, oh, yeah.
I agreed to set the door.
Okay.
Yeah.
It looks like it's lovely.
You got to climb over a net to get in.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
Some people can't get in because of that, and they don't change it up.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they go, you got to get over the net.
You're like, I'm older.
I can't get my legs that high.
And they go, I guess you're not going to see the International Tennis Museum today, then, aren't you?
And they walk them right back out.
see the International Tennis Museum today, then aren't you? And they walk them right back out.
Melissa Swain, just before Christmas break, had the opportunity to introduce our 13-year-old son to the podcast. Now he's catching up by watching all the episodes on YouTube, and we're having a
great time watching with him. Our nine-year-old daughter watches with us sometimes and feels it's
her mission in life to come up with a new name for Bacon bits every episode she started a list she now makes
me keep up with i appreciate the nate that nate land is something we can share with the entire
family without a sullen sullen teen attitude sullen sullen sullen without a sullen teen
attitude or one of us being embarrassed by the subject matter. Looking forward to learn more about the 50 states
from the unique perspective of Nate, Aaron, and Bushel.
Bushel's pretty good.
Those are good, yeah.
Bushel's, that's just, I mean, no one likes a bushel.
I wish I knew her.
A bushel of stuff.
I wish I knew her nine-year-old daughter.
If you had a bushel of Brian's, you're like, oh, God.
Aaron Brawner.
I think this could be an Aaron and Brian comment.
It does sound.
It sounds like y'all just made up your own.
Haven't missed a podcast yet, but this one was by far my least favorite.
Please don't do all 50 states.
Maybe look up crazy stories in Florida and move to a new topic.
That could be y'all.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I hate to tell you, Aaron, but there's a great chance we are doing maybe more than 50 states.
Puerto Rico.
I thought it was 52.
I'm learning right now, Aaron, that's only 50.
And so it's your lucky day because it's –
I've been convinced a few times that there's 52 states.
For some reason, you're like, how many are there?
There might be soon.
There might be soon, but it's – you just randomly get –
you know, like you think about it too much and you're like, are there 52?
And then –
I think I'm pretty set on 50, you know?
Your mind's not open.
50 stars on the flag.
Yeah.
Well, then you go, yeah, of course.
You don't open your mind much?
Not in that way, no.
Well, you should.
Come on, Aaron.
What are you doing, man?
The states are – it is.
I mean, it's a commitment.
We're not doing them every week
and that's what uh that's what we we talked about if we wanted to do them we didn't want to do too
much i get that it could be too crazy but again as always this is the uh we're just trying to do
stuff to make jokes off of and we this is a good thing to look out obviously we kind of learned
some stuff from these states which is kind of fun and if you get to hear your state i'm sure aaron hears the state and then he'll be excited but he lives in florida but he
lives in florida just want some florida stories he just wants some floors how about you learn about
some of these states right the steamrollers are in rhode island we didn't know that yeah would
have never known that someone else said i know you have it in here but i kept thinking about it
like someone is like i wish i got my two hours of my life back that idea that people like say that people say that a lot
where you want to go what are you doing what is happening in your life that what would you have
done with those two hours like what do you have going on where we all you know just hey stop
listening who gets to the end of the two and goes i wish i could have that hours boy that you need where we all, you know, just, hey, stop listening.
Who gets to the end of the two and goes, I wish I could have that hour.
Boy, you need to be a better decision maker. I feel like most people are doing something when they're listening to this, right?
They're doing the dishes.
Not that guy.
They're driving.
They're mowing the lawn.
This guy's just sitting with his arms crossed.
Just marks off that day as, did you get after every day?
I tried.
I couldn't because I had a lot of days wasted on me. Just marks off that day as, did you get after every day? I tried.
I couldn't because I had a lot of days wasted on me.
I love the idea.
That's a very saying that a lot of people say, you know,
wish I could have 10 minutes of my life, but like it's a funny put down.
And it's, you always, what is everybody doing?
What is, how active is your life that you're like, yeah, that you need it back?
You're like, yeah, we did you a favor.
Not everything's fun.
Rob Rinesmith.
That's how this podcast.
Not everything's good.
And that's what we do here at Nate Land.
Rob Rinesmith.
You have to do part two of Rhode Island. I mean, I think Rob's going too far.
Providence Mayor Buddy C&C. Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci.
Cianci.
Cianci.
Oh, you spelled...
Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci.
His name's Buddy Cianci?
Are the people writing these out phonetically, or are you going...
I'm trying to do it to help him out, but I messed up.
Buddy Cianci.
Yeah.
That's not made it worse.
Was involved with the mafia,
was arrested while mayor
for killing a guy
with a piece of firewood,
served his sentence,
and then got elected mayor again.
Students at Brown University
would invite him to parties
and he would go.
A couple of the students
made a musical about his life.
They made a song about his wife
who they named Nancy Ann.
They made her nancy
ann nancy ann cianci nancy ann cianci yeah fun stuff that is crazy yeah i missed that totally
and so i looked him up and he he didn't kill a guy with the fire but he did torture him yeah
the guy was messing around with his wife supposedly they. They separated, but Buddy got a hold of him, had a cop guard the door,
and burned him with a cigarette and beat him with a firelock.
Then went to jail and then got elected mayor again.
That's the mess.
I mean, maybe that's a mayor you want, but that guy means business.
And got convicted a second time.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's the second time he got convicted for racketeering
and went to jail for like five years wow so the students at brown university read that in
the paper and were like yes we got to get this guy to come party with well that makes me like
brown university the fact that's what i'm talking about open your mind yeah that's what you go talk
to you go talk to a regular mayor that's gonna go, here's the normal things that you say all the time.
I agree.
Or a mayor that's going to walk in and put a cigarette out
on your own Brown University floor.
And you're going to go, you can't smoke.
And you're not even going to think to tell him you can't smoke in here
because it's obviously he can't.
Right.
He doesn't even have the attitude.
You wouldn't even have the opening to go, we don't smoke inside.
He's like, you know.
Yeah, this guy was a legend.
What year was this?
I think he started in like,
like he was a political on the rise in the 70s.
He spoke at the 1976 Republican Convention.
Yeah.
There was some talk about him being vice president.
And then he did some crazy,
he ran for Senate in his own state,
even though they already had a Republican candidate.
He's like, well, I'm just going to run.
Yeah.
As the Republican candidate. Doesn't matter. What does it matter he doesn't care wow he just did some
crazy he started in between the time he was sentenced to the time he went to jail he started
his own radio show oh really this guy rules got it this guy shows up to play beer pong with you
yeah yeah oh buddy alive now he died a few years ago he was running for mayor for the third time
after he got out of jail.
Yeah.
And then I think he died like-
Or he would still be there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe that is a mayor.
I think every, however, in your government that you have of every state, you should have
one of them.
Mm-hmm.
Just somewhere.
Yeah.
It doesn't really matter where it's at in the rankings.
Just bring one buddy's CNC.
You need one guy that's in there that's like,
yeah, I don't know what's going to happen.
Just a wild card, man.
Just a wild card.
I love it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Garrett McDonald.
I listened to the pod on my way home from coaching a middle school
basketball game that we lost in the last seconds.
The pod had me back in a great mood on the way back.
It also had me thinking I should have checked myself into the game.
I wasn't aware that that was something a person could do.
Keep up the great work, folks.
Yeah, just get in, dude.
I mean, like, you want me to tell you who would get in there?
Buddy Cincy.
Because, I mean, Garrett, you could get in, and if they go,
you can't get in, you're like, is there a rule that's saying that they're gonna go i guess probably not and then you're just in the
game and you're you know i'm activating myself activating myself rob cruz my buddy my buddy and
i went to a wendy's in providence and we're victims of a hilarious and well-orchestrated
fast food heist it was one of those double window system locations so as we pulled up to the first
window we noticed a couple sitting in a car next to us in the parking lot not thinking about it we
paid for our food and with incredible time and precision they sped up to the second window
and snatched our food they flew out of the lot through a red light multiple cars swerved out
of the way and almost crashed like a movie bank robbery sitting in disbelief my buddy and
i without saying a word slowly turned each other and just bust out laughing we pulled to the second
window and the cashier just looked at us and said they jacked your food huh more of the story is
providence is a crazy city more than people would think that's very that's a uh i never even thought
about that yeah yeah you wouldn't think of that that they're gonna do that i mean just uh
yeah no one sees them pull i guess you're like why are they pulling in
weird that they steal the food as it's being handed to them and not the money
but how would they get the money they're just yeah but the police are gonna get called the
money food i bet you you just let it chalk it up as... What are you going to do?
What do you mean, how would they grab the money?
The same way they grab the food.
But the money's done at the first window.
You've got to give them money before they're going to give you some back.
So once they get paid, they pull in front of you
so then when they hand you food, they just
hand it to a car.
I think I tapped out when you were
reading that. I thought they were running
up and grabbing it and then running away.
No, they're in the car.
They're in their car and they just swoop in.
Yeah, swoop in.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I kind of respect it.
You're trying to change on it.
Maybe if you tap out, don't chime in with anything about it.
Because we're back to just where we started.
You're going, oh, I actually kind of liked it.
You're like, okay, yeah.
Maybe listen to the whole thing.
Sorry these are boring.
Sorry about that, Rob.
Aaron can't handle it.
You've got a long day ahead of him.
Bobby McComas,
is this you wish you'd had?
I wish I would have had
my whatever minute
you wasted of my time back.
Everybody that listens to this podcast
agrees that Aaron wasted minutes.
We're all going to count down all the minutes wasted.
I'm sorry.
Bobby McComas.
Hello, folks.
I cannot express how much joy your podcast brings to my life.
I have never experienced laughing tears so much and hope it continues for at least another 50 states.
I wanted to see if you were aware of a spurious correlations.
Of spurious?
Spurious correlations of spurious spurious spurious correlations correlations uh spurious that's how you get me yeah you get me on kind of a front word
it's almost like i don't see it's like it's like before you get punched and a guy's like waving
his fist like this in a circle and i'm like what is he gonna hit me with that fist and i never see
the other fist and i'm like oh there it is when n hit me with that fist? And I never see the other fist. And I'm like, oh, there it is.
When Nate correlated, you're using a lot of that word.
When Nate correlated life expectancy to Walmart opening,
it was the first thing that came to my mind.
Some people have made a living looking at completely unrelated topics
and then make charts to show the similarities.
Every time Nate comes up with an unlikely reason
for something going on in the world,
I'm reminded of the spurious correlations of the world.
I have attached a couple of the charts from this website.
On the flip side, I love Seinfeld references.
I once bet to drop 10 Seinfeld references into a presentation to the review group
that grants funding from our organization.
I won the bet but did not receive any additional funding
uh so he put charts up yeah you have those aaron yeah you saw them they're very funny these are
basically graphs that are trying to make the it's just like your walmart and life expectancy some of
these are very funny so the first one there u.s spending on science space and technology
and correlates with suicides by hanging, strangulation, and suffocation.
Oh, like it goes together.
Yeah, like you can make an argument.
Well, see?
Yeah.
When spending on space wrapped up. We have more hangings and suffocations.
Yeah.
What's that?
Dude, this is crazy.
Number of people who drowned by falling into a pool correlates with films Nicolas Cage appeared in.
I mean, this is unbelievable like how
are they we we're gonna post all this stuff uh i mean this is crazy dude like you everything can
correlate with everything bed sheet tanglings cheese what's oh per capita cheese consumption
correlates with number of people who die by becoming tangled in their bed sheets so if you eat the most cheese you have the greatest chance i mean this is something they
would read on the news and it would be factual they don't eat a lot of cheese if you feel you're
in a house that's eating cheese just be aware one of you might get caught up in your bed sheets and you ain't going to make it out.
Divorce rate in Maine correlates with per capita consumption of margarine,
so butter.
So they eat so much butter,
which would make you, that leads to divorce.
Gassy, doesn't butter?
I'm sure it does.
What's the difference of margarine and regular butter?
Margarine's cheaper.
I know that, right? Yeah.
I don't know.
I thought margarine was the fancier butter.
I thought so, too.
I think I'd rather have margarine.
I don't know.
Really?
Yeah.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
But his point is that-
Yeah, that's great.
You can find two things and put them with anything and make an argument for.
Yeah.
And then just be like, this is the problem.
That's so funny.
Yeah, there's a lot of funny ones.
Margarine is a highly processed food product made from vegetable oils, while butter is basically concentrated dairy fat.
Yeah, butter's healthier.
Margarine is designed to imitate butter.
It's the cheap knockoff.
It's not cheap.
I think it's the real deal.
Here's the next commenter.
Mary Margarine.
Golly, you should have asked her.
Her name's Margaret.
I got an advertisement for a prescription medicine for gout
after listening to this episode.
The advertising algorithms are now categorized your listeners as gout
sufferers.
This is the direction your podcast is headed.
Congrats.
We are the podcasts of the gout.
That's, dude, so they're just getting, that's funny.
That's so funny.
Because if Aaron's gout, I guess we all got it.
I'm still getting comments, man.
Yeah, a lot of people are still worried about you.
Did you get checked out?
I'm still getting comments.
Somebody hit me up and said,
I'll get you an appointment with a doctor,
a listener on the podcast.
Are you going to?
Yeah, I'm going to call him this week and set it up.
They gave me the phone number and everything.
I got a few things I want looked at.
Yeah, they're going to gout.
Gout's the least of our problems.
They're going to worry,
what jacket are you going to wear?
Got your hat picked out excited i mean you got to go in looking good dude you're gonna be yeah the nate land pocket you can't just
go like a typical doctor i got the nascar jacket you might have to they might want to see it you
know they're gonna tell you to join a gym yeah oh you'll be like i just canceled somebody said that you can call and just say
you're scared of covid and then you can cancel over the phone so i might do that this week yeah
you should and just weren't you gonna do it last week every week listen i had a lot of plans last
week this is you're the definition of how they're a company how they are staying open is just you've
talked openly you've publicly talked about canceling this for three weeks now and you still haven't done it i mean that's how much they got you guys
four years man i know but it's funny to go all right well you're gonna talk about it to all
these people listening everybody's listening we're all hearing you say it it's not like you're
privately privately is one thing you just keep and every every week he has a new way to maybe do it easier yeah
you know they said smallpox is making a comeback and so just call and say i forget until i show up
here and then that's how it happens i go i'll do it this week how much is it 10 bucks a month
10 bucks a month and then like 60 a year or something oh so it's been several years. That ad's been adding up. Yeah, I mean,
and there's a ton of yous.
Their whole company
is based on you.
I mean, it really is, though.
Yeah.
You should walk in there
with some, you know,
like, well, I'm the one
that's keeping the lights on.
I'd like to see it.
I'd like to see my investment.
Michael, as for the Prohibition Amendment, in order for any amendment to become law,
it only needs to be ratified by three-fourths of the states.
If a state chooses not to ratify an amendment and that amendment is ratified by the required number,
then the state still has to follow the law.
Rhode Island and Connecticut did not ratify the 18th Amendment.
I like the word ratify.
It's in there a bunch.
So he's basically saying, even though Rhode Island did not vote for prohibition,
three-fourths of the states did, so it passed, so they still got to honor it.
So it wasn't like they were just boozing it up in Rhode Island.
Oh, they still had to honor it? Mm-hmm.
But they didn't?
They didn't vote for it but three
fourths of the states or more well more than that yeah you only need three fourths of the states to
vote for to pass the amendment and then yeah it's just like voting even if you didn't vote for a
candidate if that candidate won you still that's still a good person yeah it's still the person
okay uh all right kind of checked out on that one.
I got really focused on the word ratified.
I just kept looking and go, there it is again.
Ratified.
Tucker Emerson.
I almost said Emerson.
Tucker, I almost said it again.
Emerson.
Nate's unwavering confidence in himself is unbelievably funny. When Aaron told him he wasn't quite qualified to be an adjunct professor nate was blatantly offended even though
two minutes earlier he stated he didn't know what adjunct meant this was after asking the
age-old question what's an art school i still don't know what adjunct means but i don't see why i can't do it
i'm gonna tell you what you know who did a lot of stuff buddy cnc and i and i operate like him
mostly just sitting there you just do whatever you want you just go in that's with every every
rule you could really just go in and go but why why is this a rule and everybody go, I don't know.
The rules have been made so long ago that we could just show up and go, I don't think we can do that.
And they'd be like, okay, that's fine.
An adjunct professor.
I still don't know what it means.
What did it mean?
It means like you're not, it's not your main thing.
It's a supplementary job.
Yeah.
You're like a visiting professor.
You have expertise in a field yeah so
you can speak on it but you're not employed by that university it doesn't oh it doesn't sound
very because that's a kind of a cool thing right yeah yeah it doesn't sound cool you i think there'd
be a better adjunct professor sounds like all right hope things get better for you man like
that's what i would say to someone if they what do you do i'm an adjunct professor and you're like all right i hope you
you think one day you'll be a full professor or that's what i would say to them and i'd go i
don't like it he's an idiot he's an adjunct professor he's a junkie and that's what then
now we're four people removed from going he he's a drug addict. Do people introduce themselves as that?
I don't know if they go around introducing themselves as that.
Do they say before he walks in, here today we're having an adjunct professor?
No.
You just say, no.
I don't think.
No, you don't go, hi, I'm adjunct professor Nate Bargesi.
So why are we even, why is the word even good?
Because that's what they're called, you know?
So I know, but when they go to the class, they go, hello, we are having an adjunct professor today.
If it's a tenured professor, they don't go, hi, I'm tenured professor Bob.
I know, but that's a professor.
That's his job.
An adjunct professor is a visiting professor.
I know, so if you're sitting in your class, and then you have one of these guys come,
does your regular professor go, by the way, today we have an adjunct professor?
It's not like a substitute teacher.
Yeah.
Like, you know, they go, today I'm a substitute teacher.
Do they go, hello, this is an adjunct professor.
Do they go, this guy's a traveling professor?
That's what's working.
Yeah, he's like a clown that goes, hello, I'm here to talk about gout.
Oh, this guy knows a lot about gout.
Knows too much about it, to be honest.
He limps in.
Traveling professor.
That's so funny.
I just see him park his car.
He pops his trunk open.
He's got the bar that hangs all his jackets in the backseat because he's traveling around.
What jacket are you going to wear today?
Where did you sleep by last night?
I slept in my car.
I barely made it here.
It's like a dude doing gigs.
Ronald McDonald.
I was in Michigan last night.
I had to drive through the night and barely got in.
Where's the class at?
It's right there.
Michael McIntosh.
Hello, folks.
Shout out to Nate, Aaron, Webfoot, and Brokeback Munchkin.
Oh, Aaron Webfoot and Brokeback Munchkin.
Love all three of you and the staff too.
I'm from the UK, so it's hard to relate to state facts,
but I'm learning a lot.
I'm learning a lot like New Jersey has the most Greggs.
Could you shout out Siobhan, the mother of my 20-month-old twins,
and ask her to marry me?
It would be a great start to my year.
Siobhan, marry this man.
He's going to get married.
I mean, we hope.
We don't know anything about him.
Well, but, I mean, he's made to get married. I mean, we hope. Yeah. We don't know anything about him. Well, but I mean, he's made it to here.
Maybe she's not happy with this.
Yeah.
But the mother of her 20-month-old twins.
They should get married.
They should get married.
Yeah.
They have a nice family.
Yeah.
So I hope she does it.
Yeah.
Let us know.
We're going to find out.
Either way, you got to let us know.
I hope she listens to the podcast.
She's going to go, hello, this is Siobhan.
I think he sounds like a great guy.
I left him.
He was an adjunct professor, and the job was real hit and miss.
And me and my young twins moved on and found a tenured professor.
Either way.
That's awesome. Congrats, you guys.'ll see you made it we'll see we will see yeah uh so yeah i have been getting healthy i've been working out i'm
doing good this week last week was good i could tell because i don't eat uh i know people are
probably gonna you want to eat good now. It's the beginning of the year.
I'm trying to.
I have been working.
I've been eating.
I went to McDonald's this weekend.
My weekends was like I go crazy, and I just go McDonald's.
But did you pull back at McDonald's, or was it the normal order?
No, it was normal.
Extra cheeseburger, number one with an extra cheeseburger.
Yeah.
No onions.
With the side sandwich?
Yeah. That's what you gotta do yeah i was trying to do i mean i'd be you know as i just big fast i'd like fast food i'll never not eat mcdonald's yeah i just won't do it you just don't do it as
much but i love it and uh so yeah i went there and then had a couple i had a mcflurry and then
even had a sonic blast last night i mean this weekend was
uh went after the whole week was good though so then i just get back to it but you can tell the
difference that's what's so crazy you feel you know like everybody always feels tired uh are
people i say they're tired it's because you could you could tell when you just eat better and i'm
not even it's not like i'm eating that crazy of a thing. I went and just bought like steaks and like grilled them
and then cut them up and been eating them with salad
or, you know, then put some chicken in a crock pot,
and then you just have it for the whole week.
You pre-make it, and then you can make burritos,
and you just heat them up real fast.
And so it's like that idea of like not,
A, for me, it's just eating at home is a giant thing giant thing just eat it like when i talked to the guy about eating better he's like
we just want you to eat at home yeah i'm not like measuring stuff i'm not being a
because i'll never do that stuff i've got to wean myself off but you can tell
uh this still sounds like it's that for me it's not but it's like i'm just i'm just saying i know people like i get it i get how brutal it is to eat good and uh after this week of eating good you can just
feel it like i uh when i you eat bad you get tired you crash off the food like almost like a sugar
high then you crash and then so then usually you crash by the time you're about to eat again so i
would eat if i'm eating mcdonald's three times a day it's like then you then you eat it again you know and then you then so you then you you feel
okay and then you get tired again you realize you're like oh that's why i'm tired all day
because i'm not putting any fuel right honestly you're just not eating enough most people that
they don't if they eat bad they don't eat enough eating healthy you start to crave healthy food
right you start to want that yeah you just, you just don't want to feel bad.
I mean, I always felt that with drinking.
Like with drinking, like if I think about –
anytime you think about drinking again, I just think about, like,
well, how are you going to feel that next day?
And you don't want that.
And so then that helps you stop a lot of things.
But if you go eat healthy and then go eat bad, you will feel like,
oh, I actually feel this food makes me tired. Now, I've still got to train that into me. Like, trust me, I could go eat bad you will feel like oh i actually feel this food makes me tired
now i've still got to train that into me like i trust me i could go eat McDonald's right now
like i'm not saying all this is out of me but you i could really feel this weekend that you go oh
that's it makes me just that tiredness and that kind of like you know whatever feeling
puts you in a bad mood. Food is pretty wild.
I don't know if there's someone listening to this that's healthy
that's like, idiots.
But I mean, most people don't know.
I think most people.
I didn't know.
I don't know most people.
I didn't.
I just never, you know, I just ate.
I don't think about food.
I'm not like the biggest food, not a foodie.
I don't.
I just eat to eat.
And, you know, it's going good.
Then these fat losers, you know it's going good good then he's fat losers you're not like me start attacking y'all i'm gonna come in here ripped and go oh god here you go hey welcome
to the nayland i'm neighbor gets in here with gout one and gout two they got them in their hands
he's like eating healthy makes you a better person it really does just mean to us yeah you know what it makes you appreciate life what'd you two hogs eat this weekend
i'd say i'd be surprised y'all even make it in every week
so speaking of which uh this week we're going to talk about Rhode Island part two. No, uh, we're mixing it up.
We are still going to keep doing States.
Uh,
so we will get to,
uh,
more and more States.
And look,
if there's an overwhelming,
y'all hate the States,
you can tell us and we won't do it.
Uh,
and we,
I mean,
I wouldn't even be mad cause I don't know if it's going to be annoying to hear about all these kind of States.
Uh,
so yeah, I know that we, you know, we comments,
some guys are being funny, some guys are serious,
some guys are not, but, you know, we kind of weigh it out
to be like, do you like the states?
Do you not like the states?
Maybe we can put a poll up and see.
We'll probably do a couple more, then we can, you know,
after a couple more, then let's fill it out
and see what you guys think if you, you know.
We won't do them every week.
But I think it could be.
But I'll say I knew nothing about Rhode Island going into that.
And I feel like I know a lot about it now.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's good when you go travel to it.
It's like you'll be like, oh, I've learned they had a mayor here that shot a guy.
Yeah.
It's going to be more fun, I think, when we start comparing some of these states.
Yeah.
Start seeing some trends and things like that.
Now that people are like, oh, God.
Once we get to talk about the states together, people are like, oh, my God.
I wish I could have my one second back.
That's what you should ask for, just seconds.
I just need one.
I need two seconds.
Can you give me those two seconds back?
I'm not greedy, but how do I get those two seconds back?
This week, we're going to talk about in uh uh inventions yeah you know doing research on this it reminded me a little bit of the best time to be alive
episode we did a few weeks ago because you read about some of these inventions that changed
history and you're like i'm glad we had this because before this existed life was not as good
yeah for sure um i mean you guys have already basically laid out your greatest invention
toilet air conditioning i think we both could see that oh yeah yeah i'll stand by that air
conditioning over the toilet and did you do you think you'll change our mind going through some
of these i mean i'm gonna try okay i try. Okay. I'm going to try.
I mean, I still don't know the air conditioning over the toilet.
I mean, it's just.
You're still going to say toilet?
Yeah, I mean, you don't need air conditioning all year.
Yeah, I think, yeah.
And then toilet is, you know, I mean, it's just a mess, dude.
It's a mess.
Literally a mess.
It's literally a mess that you have to deal with.
I mean, how long can you, you know, just in your, I think you're,
I think when you get down into it, you would then change your mind.
Is what I was, yeah.
I mean, I like them both.
I like them both too.
I'm just saying.
Air conditioning is great.
I get it.
Yeah.
But you could go stand in a cool cave.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. You could just go down to a cave. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
Let's just go down to a cave.
It always feels great.
Where's Aaron?
He's in a cave.
You know how he gets during these summer months.
That's what they would say.
Open a window.
Just let go.
Where's Aaron at?
He's in a cave.
He drove out to this.
He drove an hour out to this cave, and he's just sitting in the dark.
And he's just like, oh, I feel so good.
I drove.
We have cars in this scenario, but no ACs.
No ACs, no toilets.
But I got a car.
But you got a car, and you drove down to this cave.
What would you guys guess was the first invention ever?
The wheel.
Oh, you know what?
No.
I looked up inventions once, trying to write a joke about them. I don't think it's the wheel. Oh, you know what? No. I looked up inventions once, trying to write a joke about them.
I don't think it's the wheel.
It wouldn't be fire.
I mean, I would almost say a lever.
A lever.
Like a pulley or a lever, maybe.
Like a fulcrum.
What?
What's a fulcrum?
You know, like a seesaw thing. Oh, yeah. That kind of. Is that what they say? Is that what you said? Fulcrum you know like a seesaw thing
oh yeah
that kind of
is that what they say
fulcrum be the thing in the middle
is that what you say
when you go ride
as a kid
you're just a fun kid
you guys want to go
fulcrum
and everybody's like
oh god
do you remember
riding the fulcrum
a lot alone
is it that
is it because that's how you described a lot of stuff hey do you guys want to go ride the fulcrum a lot alone? Is it that?
That's how you described a lot of stuff?
Hey, you guys are going to ride the fulcrum?
And they go, I don't know.
Anybody want a fulcrum?
We're going to just swing.
I mean, that is what it is, right?
Anyway, was it the wheel?
It was not the wheel.
The wheel came on a little bit later.
Stone tools were the very first invention by anthropologists. Pooley was a pretty good...
Yeah, that's good. That's good. Stone tools to
make stuff with
and pit people with. Yeah.
Fire was right up there.
Fire, they said, is the greatest invention of all time.
Yeah. It was
more like a discovery.
The first guy who...
Oh, I mean, the first one that came. When did it
happen? I mean, 125,000 years came. When did it happen? I mean.
Yeah, we don't even know.
125,000 years ago, they said.
Yeah.
You've got the great joke about.
It's a roundabout.
Yeah.
Who knows how.
Yeah.
There's no way of.
You've got the great joke about if you went back in time, you don't even know if you could
prove you're from the future.
Is there anything you guys think you could invent if you went back in time?
So, that was part of another joke that i had was
thinking how far would i have to go before we could have an invention that i think i could invent
and it's pretty i mean like a harpoon is i forget when a harpoon was made but a harpoon was like an
invention that you're like i don't think i can make a harpoon because it's you can make a like a sword but a harpoon it's gonna shoot it yeah so you can make a sword no i'm saying anybody make
a sword but a harpoon's gotta shoot it so you gotta build the thing that shoots the harpoon
yeah yeah so i mean like that's i'm saying why you couldn't make a harpoon yeah you think you could
because you make the sharp part but you couldn't make the shooting thing right
and then
I don't even think I can make the sharp part
I mean you don't think you could
sharpen a stick
with what
a rock
yeah a rock or something
I mean
I'm just saying what you could invent
yeah I mean
could you build
could you make a fire out of nothing
right now
I mean I watch
we're stranded
on an
I think I could figure I mean I watch I think I can figure
I mean I watch a lot
I've watched a lot
of survival shows
I at least would know
the idea to try to
I think it would take me
forever
not saying it would
ever happen
but I would
if you walked over
you would be like
that guy looks like
he's trying to start a fire
you know I'm not gonna be
just climbing
you know just like
rubbing a tree
with my chest
like and you're like
no one knows
you know if you or people walk up to like and you're like no one knows you know if you
are people walk up to you and you're they turn around you go could you start a fire you go well
i mean you'd be able to tell that's what i was trying to do does that count for anything so i
think i'm i think i'm a head start yeah you think you would even look like you were trying to start
a fire or would they go sir what are you what do you what is your end goal here? And if you go fire, they're like, oh, my God, this guy.
Wow.
I think I would try to rub two sticks together.
Yeah.
Like you would just be friction.
Yeah.
Like Tom Hanks in Castaway.
Right.
But you got to get like a bark.
You get bark, and then you put it between your toes,
and then you rub like there, and you just go back and forth.
And you get smoked very easy, and it's hard to get the actual like coal or the you know and then you
got to get that over and you got to have tinder or tindle tinder right tinder yeah they cancel
tinder yeah did they no i don't know i mean i i don't know what is it called it's not it's not
kindle kindle or kindling can, but you get like a little.
Yeah.
I would say Tinder.
I'd say, hand me the Tinder.
And so there'd be a minute of that person going, what?
That conversation would happen.
That conversation.
They're going, what are you talking about?
And he goes, you know what I meant.
And I would get mad because I go, you know what I'm talking about.
Right.
Is this the time?
Is this the time?
I'm building a fire for you.
I think I'd figure it out.
It would take a while.
Yeah.
But I'd get the fire.
I could do stone tools.
I'd figure that out.
Yeah.
You're talking about going back in time?
Yeah.
That we know all that we know now?
Yeah.
I could.
Yeah.
I could.
It's just chipping away.
Sharpening a rock.
But I mean, it would have to be that basic for me.
And it still would take me a long time to do it.
I couldn't make a harpoon or a sword.
Yeah.
For sure.
Oh, forging stuff?
No.
No,
I can't do any of that.
No.
So,
fire,
they say,
is the greatest invention.
It gave us warmth,
protection.
It led to a lot of inventions,
but the biggest thing
is cooking.
It led to a lot of inventions
just because of the light
that they could see something.
Probably.
It led to the will.
You're like,
how did that?
You're like,
just to see,
to work at night was huge.
I mean.
So this Vanderbilt University neuroscience scientist says that our human brains are not exceptional.
We're basically like primate brains.
The only difference is we've learned how to cook food, which gives us enough nutrients to let our brain get the energy to expand.
Wow.
And if it wasn't for cooking food, we would never have evolved.
That's what they say because our brains are energy hungry
and they need the calories.
That's easy to say that now.
Sounds like an adjunct professor.
Yeah.
I mean, that would be what an adjunct professor would come in
and they'd go, wow.
See, everybody just always sits there and goes, wow, that's crazy. We wouldn't have made it if we didn't have fire and she's like i don't know
she says if we couldn't cook and cook and we had to eat the raw food we have to spend nine and a
half hours every day eating enough food to survive but back then that's all you had to do you didn't
have meetings and you had to you know the birthday part, the birthday part. No one even, you know, I got to go, dude.
I don't know.
What are you guys doing?
Well, I got to go help my buddy move.
We've been gone all day.
You just didn't have all that.
You just, your whole thing, it's like, I mean, an animal.
It's just like, your whole thing is I got to eat.
You know?
Simpler times.
You just eat all day, huh?
Pretty much.
Nine and a half hours. Kind of grazing. Yeah. day huh pretty much nine and a half hours kind of grazing yeah yeah pretty much like a cow you think anybody was fat i mean look up when gout was invented
invented
was it around the candy bar stage was it sp's correlations as it was. Yeah. Does gout and Snickers sales prices kind of go together?
The wheel was the next big invention, 3500 BC.
The wheel was pretty important, but it wasn't the wheel that was so hard to make.
People figured out how to make a round thing roll.
It was the axle to attach to it.
That really is the important part.
Yeah, that's kind of the main thing main thing yeah that's the main thing because then they could build carts and that changed
everything now you can start transporting stuff you can go to greater distances because you know
can ride when you think about it what do you think about when you picture just one guy has a cart and
everybody's like wow look at you see the johnson's over there he's got i don't know
what he's got he's got his driveway over there yeah what does he got have you seen him he went
the other day i go where'd you go he goes i went over to the river and back and you made it back
this quick it's usually like a two-day trek he goes i just took my suit my cart there's not even
a word for it yeah he just took my my you know my four even a word for it. Yeah, I just took my four-wheel thing.
We just went, put a horse on the front of it,
and he goes right there and back.
Did they have a hole in the middle of it?
That's how I would do it.
Yeah.
A hole in the middle and then just a stick across.
That's how you would do it?
That's how I would do it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure it was pretty simple.
Basically, the beginning of the axle. Right. But it needs to be in the middle. That's how I would do it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's pretty simple. Basically, the beginning, the axle.
Right.
But it needs to be in the middle.
That's kind of important.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because you put it on the edge, it's not going to roll well.
I mean, just to watch the families that are not getting it.
I picture all these families have to invent this for themselves.
Yeah.
Or then the guy starts selling them.
But, yeah.
How do you sell a shape, though?
Bananas. Bananas. Fruit. That guy doesn't have to go hunt for food anymore. selling them but yeah he's how you sell a shape though bananas bananas fruit you know that guy
doesn't have to go hunt for food anymore you want this right then give me some uh hey yeah how much
how much grain you gonna give me oh you'd bring the fruit and say no i'm saying that's how he
would he goes do you want me to make you a cart with four wheels? And then you got to give him, and this is how.
But I'm just saying, once you see a wheel, you're like, oh, I'll just make that myself.
You're not like, how do I do that, dude?
It's just a shit.
I know, but the whole hassle.
I mean, there's plenty of stuff that you buy.
You buy bottled water.
Yeah.
So, I mean, there had to be lazy people that were like, I don't want to go.
You make one wheel, and then you're like, I got to make three more of these.
Then he's like, I know how to do it.
I'll do it quicker if you just go give me some.
Okay.
Could you build one right now that put an axle to it?
I could shape a rock into a wheel.
It'd take a long time.
It would take a long time.
It would take a long time.
The problem is the tools.
You don't think so, huh?
No. If you had nothing, if they just gave you a rock, and then you have to. take a long time but that the problem is like the tools the once you look you don't think so no uh
if you had nothing if they just gave you a rock and then you have to like basically they go walk
out in the desert they go here's a rock make that a will and then they leave you you don't have
anything like that's what how do you do that what tool do you go get to start chipping that rock
get another rock yeah and you just yeah it's just a long way at it
there's a point that you would go this is ridiculous yeah yeah for sure yeah because
it's gonna you're gonna be out there for but also these people aren't just in the middle of nowhere
the desert they're living where people lived yeah you know no yeah they got a town there's a walmart
that's not doing that good because no one can get there. And then the,
you know,
the Walmart just shows up and then they're,
you know,
how are you going to get here?
I've got a guy,
I've heard a guy's making a car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The word gout was first used in 1200 AD,
by the way.
So it's been around a while.
Shakespeare.
Yeah.
A little before him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh,
the compass was very important before the compass people like
it explores uh they navigated by the stars but they didn't work during the day or on cloudy
nights yeah it's like kramer in this time well not night that's a little bit tougher but it'll
be with guests within two hours but once the chinese invented the compass uh then they could
start traveling long distances and not get lost.
So that changed everything as far as the age of discovery.
Yeah.
And then they had a map.
What about a map?
How do you make a map?
You just walk and you go, yeah, there's like mountains here.
And then you just draw and you go, there's like stuff over there.
You just really trust the guy who wrote it.
It was a very basic map.
Yeah.
You know, it's just basically like you watch N uh naked and afraid they always show a map and it's
like no there's snakes over there apparently there's one alligator right there that's my joke
if i ever go naked and afraid you ever see the map they always have one snake and one alligator
over here and i'm like all right we're gonna avoid those two just avoid one snake and one alligator
we're good we're good now that'd be mine that all right, we're going to avoid those two. Just avoid one snake and one alligator and we're good.
That'd be my,
that's how I would
break the tension.
Gunpowder.
Gunpowder was invented
in the 9th century.
Also in China.
It changed the way
military technology happened.
I mean,
human history as far as
battles.
This is the biggest,
maybe one of the biggest ones.
The printing press.
Printing press was the internet before the internet.
It was invented by Gutenberg in 1440.
And before the printing press, we had no access to information except what people told you.
Books had to be written by hand.
There was no way to...
Could argue we're back to that.
It's still information people
tell it just they're just telling you the bible changed the bible because uh before that the
catholic church catholic church wasn't a fan of the printing press yeah really why because they
were few people could read basically anyway and had access to the bible and books of scripture so
it would priest or monks monks would read it to you
and basically tell you what it said and what it should be doing.
But then once the printing press came along,
they started printing it in mass quantities,
and it changed everything.
People started reading for themselves.
They started to come up with their own ideas.
They couldn't squash an idea because they were spreading around.
They would try to squash an idea,
but now 10 more people have access to it. it's basically yeah it is the internet like the
internet's like that where it's like they need to like they got to try to rail people in and like
all this stuff yeah they would call somebody a heretic and just try to get rid of them but
10 more people would pop up it's a big word they're using because they know people can't read
yeah yeah that's what it is you're a her You're like, it doesn't even hurt my feelings
because I don't even know what it means.
It was also a cost thing too, right?
I mean, owning a Bible before the printing press
was like owning a boat.
Only wealthy people had them.
So then once you can print it really cheap,
then all the peasants can get it.
The best two days of buying a Bible, they get it, they sell it.
That's what they would say about it.
Bust out another thousand, that's what they say about the Bible.
So the Protestant Reformation basically started because of the printing press.
Martin Luther read the Bible,
had a lot of problems with the Catholic Church,
wrote 95 problems, put it on the door,
and things went crazy.
And committed heresy.
Yeah.
Aaron's not a fan, but...
I'm just kidding.
Worked out pretty well for you and I.
Yeah.
I'm not really aware of who we're talking about,
but it's Martin Luther King Day, so I'm kind of focused on that.
It's a different Martin Luther, but also important.
Same thing.
Anyway, the printing press changed everything because then people could start reading for themselves.
Newspapers started, everything.
I feel like an adjunct professor sitting at the lunchroom of two professors that work there.
And y'all are just making local jokes to each other.
And I'm just sitting here like, oh, what are you here for?
I'm just giving a little quick speech today.
And then I'm getting out of here.
I got to drive to Ohio tomorrow.
Going to community college.
Speaking at lunch.
Well, all the denominations
of churches that broke off from the Catholic Church
kind of started after this.
After the printing press.
Yeah, once people started reading,
and they come up with their own ideas, or problems
they have, and then they're like, well, let's do this, or let's
do this. So, it
was kind of like the internet before the internet.
Yeah. But it changed the world
because now everybody could you know have access to information on their own yeah and then they
started doing i mean how do they even tell everybody i guess they started printing it and
then they go here's this piece of paper yeah and he goes how'd you get that how'd you get this he
goes well the instructions are on there that's what you think that's what they did at first
the first thing they printed was the instructions on how to make another one another one why would that not be there the first thing
they should have made that what was the first thing printed should have been the instructions
of the printing press just so we can have them down what if someone knocks off the guy that goes
i know how to do it and he's the only guy that knows how to make it and he's like printing hello
on it and you're like no dummy put the how to make it. And he's like printing hello on it. And you're like, no, dummy, put the instructions.
And then what if he never puts the instructions?
Then we're done.
Then we're done.
Then there's still one holy Catholic church.
So maybe it would have been good.
You'd be happy.
Do you think podcasting is the printing press of spoken word in a way?
I mean, probably not but i mean
what we're doing is changing i'm not talking about our podcast specifically but i'm saying
there's a revolution of spoken word in the last 10 years or so from podcasting in the same way
that there is i think there's i think media is changing with as far as
like your idea of yes the the same way that's the same is the same way the media is changing where
now people are listening to stuff online like no one's watching like mainstream news as much
anymore like all the channels are really being affected by that and so there's all these different
you can find like independent and a lot of people that worked at these big things a lot of people
from new york times all that stuff then go do more independent stuff because they can straight get to your to
you with their like if you're like i like this guy but i don't need him to have some guy tell
me can't say what he's going to say and so yeah there's ways for them to get information i think
it's expanding everybody's what everybody thinks about stuff which is what this would have done it
broke up all the just like hey we here's this one thing this is the only thought into now i mean look at all the religions that
broke off of it yeah and all this new stuff that started and so i think that there's that so yeah
kind of i guess is that what you mean that's i feel like no is that not that is what i meant
that's what i'm talking about after i'm an old school when he says all the answers,
and I'm like, man, I don't know.
What happened? I blacked out.
Yeah.
No, we were talking about the same thing.
I mean, the radio, I would think maybe.
Well, 20 years ago, you can't listen to on-demand,
somebody talk for something about three hours about something.
Yeah.
And now you can because of it.
Yep.
Wait, is that not right?
You let me go.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, you're saying the same
yeah exactly yeah yeah uh i said i broke it down yeah you did you asked a question i answered it
and then now you're acting like i said the wrong answer like you're like all right well brian just
still looks skeptical so i'm just trying to he doesn't know what a podcast is I thought we were on the radio.
We're stationed inside.
55 degrees, partly cloudy.
219.
Go ahead, Brian. I've never seen this podcast
because they said I didn't get that channel.
Telephone. Telephone invented by Alexander
Graham Bell. It allowed us to communicate
all over the world.
It was called the electrical speech machine when it was first invented.
When Bell died in 1922, U.S. telephone services stopped for a minute to honor him.
I feel sorry for that guy.
It was an important business call.
I know.
I'll call you right back.
How did they stop it for a minute?
It was just everybody.
I guess they just cut off your service or something Yeah
I guess it's a big trust
Oh, I guess, yeah, like
Because back then
Yeah, and then so they just
You'd have to call and like
Hello, I'd like to talk to Aaron
And then she goes
Sarah
Yeah
That's Andy Griffith
Yeah, yeah, right
Sarah, can I get
Aunt Bea
Think how crazy that must have been, though
To be able to communicate and hear someone's voice
from far away.
I mean, it's like seeing FaceTime
for the first time.
But seeing that,
were you not blown away?
I remember I was blown away for a while.
It's funny how quickly you get
unimpressed with things.
Yeah, but you gotta remember, it's just like that.
It's that exact same thing. You're seeing someone's face it's crazy yeah and they're talking and they and it's not a
delay and it's you know my daughter's facetiming with her cousin my this harper meyer both just
playing a video game as they facetime each other in two different places that's pretty wild it is
crazy but how quickly before you're no longer even thinking
about how crazy it is.
Yeah, I try to remind myself a lot.
You try to appreciate it
as it's happening.
I'm the greatest average American.
I always try to remember.
You try to remember,
they go, yeah, that's crazy.
That's crazy.
I'm saying I do it every time,
but every now and again,
you got to go, yeah.
I mean, I don't know
if I've talked about it on this,
but like TiVo was, I mean mean I couldn't wrap my head around it I just couldn't understand it I didn't what do you mean where is this going how do you how are you you can pause a
live television show how that didn't none of that made sense that did not make sense I can I can
record it I don't have to I don't have to wait.
I mean, now you're not watching anything live.
That's crazy.
You're just fast-forwarding all these commercials, and it's nuts.
It's nuts.
I'll do a couple more here.
The light bulb, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb,
which basically led to electricity, which changed everything,
because before then, people would go to bed as soon as it got dark.
And they would have different sleep patterns because they couldn't sleep for that long.
But once the light bulb invented, people started going to bed and sleeping seven to eight hours a night.
So we used to get 12 hours.
You almost get 12 hours of sleep.
Or people were getting up during the night, they said.
I don't know.
So you could argue that was a bad invention. People were getting up during the night they said oh yeah so you could argue that was a
bad invention people are getting less sleep i don't know if you could argue it but i don't
think someone's gonna go okay he just said they used to get 12 hours of sleep and now they're
only getting seven or eight i don't that's on a good night you don't need 12 yeah i mean i mean
maybe but imagine what you could do if you did have it. Yeah.
I mean, I think, you know what you do.
Don't you sleep 12 hours?
I mean, this is what, this is what's happened to being brought to the table after 12 hours of sleep.
I think we can see it.
You're zoned out.
Yeah.
It's like, were you talking about, oh, I, I, when I ate good food, I felt, I felt better.
It's like, dude, get 12 hours of sleep every night for a month
and see how good you feel.
I mean, you're a comedian.
I think what's stopping you from getting 12 hours of sleep?
I'm not going to say I haven't slept for 12 hours.
I'm just saying, but imagine if that were the norm.
Didn't you sleep 36 hours or something?
I slept for 24 hours once in college, yeah.
Yeah.
But I don't do that every day.
I'd just be asleep all the time. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that every day. Yeah. Then I'd just be asleep all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I don't know.
The internal combustion engine led to the invention of cars and airplanes, which obviously
changed the world in the 20th century.
Made the world much smaller now that people could travel.
You can travel anywhere in the world now, basically, in a day.
And by boat, as we talked about maybe last week,
it would take months to travel from Europe to America.
Yeah, you wouldn't.
I mean, it would be a thing.
It would be a whole thing to go.
You just wouldn't go.
You'd have so many people that are not going to go
because they're like, I'm just not.
Yeah.
You know.
It'd take a month.
A month.
Yeah.
yeah you know take a month a month yeah uh vaccinations changed everything when they figured out that uh ways to start vaccinating people for certain uh diseases made the life
expectancy go way up especially when they vetted penicillin which took care of uh a lot of
infections you think people listen this podcast are like,
I feel like I just had a moment where they're like,
how dumb is this podcast?
Like, this is all stuff they're like, what is this for?
Children?
Like, if someone just locked in right now and they go,
vaccinations was a big deal when they made that. And they're like, what?
Of course.
Like it's, you know, the sun is the reason that it's hot during the day.
I can read more, but I'm trying to keep it on your level.
I know.
I'm just saying.
But that's like, it's just.
To me, I'm like, yeah, I like hearing all this stuff.
But I mean, there's got to be just a lot of people that are just like,
what is happening?
When the light bulb was invented, people would not go to bed until 8 p.m.
They'd be like, ooh, what is –
I mean, I'm starting to get on board with half the comments.
Mag?
Yeah, Mag's like, yeah, Mag, we are.
Yeah, the light bulb was invented in this podcast, it'd be shorter.
Spoken word was the greatest invention of our time, according to Aaron.
Contraceptives.
I mean, I think that's not ridiculous to think.
What?
Speaking?
That written word is our greatest invention, our greatest contribution.
I thought it was air conditioning.
What's that?
I thought it was air conditioning. What's that? I thought it was air conditioning.
I mean. Would you go air conditioning
and then spoken word?
And then toll it?
Or would you even have toll it up there?
Yeah, it's air conditioning, language
is second, and then toilet's
probably fourth or fifth down there.
Yeah. Oh, you wouldn't even have it.
Not even your top five. You're not even,
you don't care. Go in the woods. It. You're not even. You don't care.
Go in the woods.
It just doesn't mean anything.
It's not a big deal.
Do you have a toilet?
I do have a toilet.
I have indoor plumbing.
I like using it.
Yeah.
You know?
But I can live. You can go either way without it.
I can live without it.
Yeah.
I wouldn't like to, but I could.
You couldn't live without air conditioning.
No.
That you only need for two months.
We live in a part of the country that was, you could not live here during the summer
before air conditioning.
It was miserable.
Yeah.
People did, but there weren't industries down here.
There weren't factories because of that, because it was miserable down here.
We should all do a challenge in each.
You've got to go a month without a toilet, without air conditioning.
Okay.
Yeah. I'm the hardest one by far. Well, then there's their point. There's the point. You've got to go a month without a toilet without air conditioning. Okay.
I'm the hardest one by far.
There's their point.
There's the point.
That's the point made.
Let's do it. The toilet challenge.
Well, it's winter right now,
so you can go without AC for a little bit.
Let's wait until July and we'll do this.
We'll see yeah don't
go don't have a toilet in july and then you gotta go outside like you know i mean just you walk back
in the house like a mess just a wild mess when do you get married i ain't married at the end of may
yeah yeah let's do it in may that would be the end of that just to come in and where have you been
you've been gone for like four hours like oh good and a hike over four highways before i felt
comfortable then we'll do the krispy kreme challenge yeah oh man you might want to to
plug you up a little bit you might have been convinced by the toilet. That might be... I'm just thinking about it.
It might be more important.
You jump in a pool.
You jump in the water.
Instead of a toilet?
No, I'm just saying...
Oh, instead of AC to keep going.
Well, instead of AC, your pools are...
Yeah, water is going to be...
I think that's where people went.
Does Planet Fitness have a pool?
I haven't been in there.
I don't know.
I don't know what's going
on in there, man.
Contraceptives
drastically reduce the average number of children
born throughout countries.
Baby killer baits is back at it again.
Here we go.
Baby genocide.
With fewer mouse defeats, modern families have achieved
higher standards of living and can provide
better for each child.
On a global scale, it's leveled off the population in overpopulated countries. I know the Catholic Church is against that as well, right?
What, birth control?
Yeah.
They use natural family planning.
Yeah, okay.
So, no.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, no.
The internet.
Internet was invented in the 1960s, believe it or not.
Al Gore?
No, by computer scientist Lawrence Roberts.
Why did Al Gore say he invented the internet?
Wasn't he responsible for bringing it to the forefront, kind of?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like, you think he ever goes, I never said I actually invented it. he's like said something else and we're like nah you know yeah yeah yeah
like one of those where you're like nah you know what you mean right you said you invented he's
like i had a lot to do with it you know i don't think i should be like glossed over i was in the
room i was in the room i sold it it. I sold it to everybody.
All right, let's move to some turn.
The internet I don't get.
How it works?
Just how it works.
Yeah.
Do you get it?
Like, where is all this stuff at?
Not really, man.
I don't really understand how it works.
I think it's not a simple idea.
Yeah. I mean, internet is interconnected.
We're all, all the computers are connected to each other.
Do you think there's some stuff that there's people that are like, yeah, we just don't know how that,
just kind of like, they're like, we stumbled upon it.
Some reason it works.
Penicillin.
That's right, yeah.
Penicillin is like that?
Penicillin.
Yeah.
Let me go back to that.
I thought that's, when you were calling it the dumbest show ever, so I moved on.
Yeah.
But yeah, penicillin.
I can't find it now.
But basically, he left out something and it started molding.
And he realized that it killed the bacteria in it.
Yeah.
It worked as an antibacterial.
Yeah.
And so they don't know why.
They're just kind of like, yeah.
Well, they may know why now, but he wasn't even trying to do that.
He was just trying to do other stuff. And he left his lunch out and the internet's got to be the most complicated
invention we had like that's is the toughest that's like insane because now you're connected
to everybody you can facetime someone in you know australia right now you can facetime them
yeah they're hearing this they're watching this like it's crazy like it doesn't make sense yeah i have no i have no idea how it works it's like gravity nobody really knows what gravity
is yeah or it exists all right it is proven that it exists right didn't they just recently
the higgs bussing thing they did something where they detected gravitational waves for the first time.
Fairly, we can, all right, we'll move on.
Yeah.
So the internet, in the 1960s, a team-
That's finally, someone's listening now.
They're going, I mean, they're finally, we'll talk about something smart.
They're like, all right, we're sorry about everybody.
And then we get back to just-
Planes make us go faster.
Planes can get above clouds.
They go, ooh, they can wow how the hot air balloon was
gravity was solved uh you're about to explain gravity to people that the guy's like i'd love
to hear his take on what gravity is uh the pencil the pencil was almost not invented because the guy poked himself with it.
There's going to be a lot of comments this week saying Meg was right.
I apologize.
All right.
Stuff in our lifetime.
Caller ID.
Guy in Huntsville, Alabama invented the first caller ID.
That's pretty good.
I remember it coming along.
Caller ID. Like, yeah. i remember it coming along call rfd
like yeah you remember it yeah yeah i mean it goes ring yeah i don't remember like would you
always speak into the box on the wall when you answered the phone did you ever do you go hello
and then you covered it mom i never had a rotary phone i was about to ask you if you did yeah we
did we had a rotary but i remember caller d coming and it was kind of crazy but i i i still think
that's a thing like you're going to end up creating stuff that gets too you know people
talk about like a fam the family a lot and families and uh there's a lot of stuff that's
getting taken away now that's separating everybody that I don't think is good.
I think calling a house and you had to ask who you wanted to talk to is kind of like a, that's a big thing that kind of keeps a family very connected.
It's a very simple, dumb thing.
But everybody's separated now.
You got your own phone.
So your wife and your your no one's ever calling
speaking to both of us uh you know harper eventually will get a phone one day now all of
her people are not they they would be like i don't i've never spoken to your dad i don't know who
your your parents are do you have are both your parents there like that's like that kind of stuff
is like uh yeah it's a weirdly little things that are like that kind of keeps that's kind of stuff is like, yeah, it's a weirdly little things that are like, that kind of keeps, that's kind of ruining stuff.
Yeah.
But it's great.
Not saying you don't want to give it away, but caller ID.
I mean, not knowing who it is, just hello?
Who is this?
Like, you know.
Weber residence.
May I ask who's calling?
Yeah.
That's what y'all would say?
Y'all would say that.
Seinfeld had that funny joke.
I mean, y'all didn't go, hello?
Hello. My family, hello. Hello.
My family's hello.
And you're like.
They used to kid just answer.
He goes, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Talking.
Yeah.
I mean, you just, yeah.
I don't know if we said that, but we had something where y'all had to, you know.
Yeah.
Seinfeld has that funny joke.
Did your butler do it?
Did you?
Did he? My parents were teachers, dude. Oh, that's right. There's a has that funny joke. Did your butler do it? Did he?
My parents were teachers, dude.
Oh, that's right.
There's a Netflix documentary on it.
Yeah.
That's right.
It's a good, yeah.
Hello, Weber residents.
Yes, I would like to speak to your father.
Oh, yes.
Papa.
Papa.
He's debating someone right now.
May I ask who is speaking?
Just an adjunct professor.
I was driving through town and I would love to come speak and debate things about gravity and all the words that, what are the other words you say?
The flip sides of things.
I would like to talk about.
Germaine.
Yeah, Germaine.
I would like to not be Germaine on your time.
And then they go, oh, no.
You're looking at your Gregorian calendar.
That's not what Germaine means at all.
What day would you want to come over?
Let me look at my Gregorian.
What calendar, sir, may I ask you?
We'd like to have you over.
What calendar are you using?
And I'll give you the appropriate date.
I'm an Eastland calendar man.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Come over on the Sue's Day.
It's a new name of a date.
Soul.
That's fair.
All right.
That's fair.
The DVD, 1996.
Now we're getting into your lifetime.
That's right.
You remember that?
I do remember that. Do you remember that i do remember that do you
remember vhs tapes i remember getting vhs from blockbuster yeah yeah and then eventually we got
a dvd player see the i mean like i know it's like little things and so maybe i'm not wrapping my
head around it but going to blockbuster and having to like look for a movie you'd be in there for two
hours like just going through and being like that that was fun. That was like great.
Like that kind of stuff is, that was like your friends,
you and your buddies would, you know, when you first drive
and you're like 16, you go up there and y'all go try to rent a movie
and you're up there for two hours.
And I mean, there's girls up there.
There's, you know, like, and that was like, that was,
all that stuff is, I think, built into character as an adult.
And like that stuff is getting taken away.
To me now, it's all just you're alone and you're, you know,
it's just talking on the internet right there.
You don't need anything.
Like that kind of stuff is, yeah.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
Yeah, making a good point now, huh?
After the first thing I say, you attack.
Finally making some sense
bombs are hitting a little bit closer to home you know what i mean uh bluetooth oh then in 1999 but
didn't get big till the 2000s it was named after 10th century denmark king harold bluetooth
gorsman and then it goes bluetooth because It's a stupid name. Yeah, you'll see.
Everybody's going to be saying it.
Who would say Bluetooth?
You looking him up?
So he invented Bluetooth?
No, just named it after him.
This is...
Oh, there he is.
This is the...
Harold Bluetooth.
He was... What was he? He was a king? Yeah, he was uh what was he was a king yeah i've done
harold he had a king named harold that feel very king name pope gregory king gregory yeah
you think you're gonna go over there and be like uh would you like to meet a pope and a king you're
like oh i would who is it pope gregory and king harold King Harold? I don't know, man.
But he comes by Bluetooth.
Yeah.
No, it's King Harold Bluetooth and Pope Greg.
I don't know, dude.
I'm so... You know what?
I don't know if I'm going to make it.
I'm just kind of slammed right now.
It's just stuff.
They're probably not going to both be there that long anyway.
You know?
stuff.
They're probably not going to both be there that long anyway.
This week's the 20 year anniversary
of Wikipedia.
It's always right.
People all over the internet can put stuff
on there so you know it's right.
Michael Scott. Most of the stuff I get for this is from
Wikipedia.
You miss every shot.
Wayne Gretzky.
You miss every shot. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky. Yeah, you miss every shot.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott.
Facebook came out in 2004.
Wikipedia is...
Is that the WikiLeaks and Wikipedia?
That's together?
No, I think Wiki is just a computer term
that may be for information.
I always thought they had something to do with each other.
Every time
something is wiki something,
it's like where
users can contribute
to it and it's like a database
that's curated and run by
users.
That's what I think it means.
Yeah.
If only I had a device to look it up.
Well, if you go to Wikipedia,
it's going to definitely tell you
whatever you want it to tell you.
I'd look up the Wikipedia.
Yeah, a website that allows collaborative editing
of its content.
So it's like wiki.
It's like, you know, there's like the Office Wiki.
I was just in WikiLeaks and Wikipedia.
If you had a gun to my head, said who invented Wikipedia,
it would have said Julian Assange.
What he just said, Julian Assange, I think, did it.
He had a big part in it.
There's actually another guy in Huntsville.
Huntsville's killing it. NASA's actually another guy in Huntsville. Huntsville's killing it.
Nass is there. And my wife.
Facebook, 28%
of the world now is on Facebook.
Back to Huntsville.
A lot of people don't know that.
The first iPhone came out
in 2007. Steve Jobs
made a prank call order of
4,000 lattes to a nearby Starbucks.
That was the first call?
I remember that. I watched that live. Really? Prank call order of 4,000 lattes to a nearby Starbucks. That was the first call? Yeah.
I remember that.
I watched that live.
Really?
You knew it was coming? That keynote.
Yeah.
He called.
Oh, he was doing a keynote.
It was the first time I remember being amazed by a piece of technology.
When he scrolled on the iPhone for the first first time just on the screen i remember gasping
not watching it with my sister i grew up with air conditioning i didn't i remember you probably
remember getting it but i grew up with it so when you saw that you go i did gas i mean it was only
it was unlike anything you'd ever seen this guy's touching a screen yeah and flipping it up i'm like gasping
like you've seen i mean like you're watching what just nothing impresses you you just go i don't
know if i'm based on you're watching on a television at home you know you're not watching
houdini in a town square in the 1800s as you tell me as a 10 year old aaron weber in your living
room you go oh did you just he scrolled on the screen and then and
your family came running if you watch the you can watch the video of that the crowd gasps as as it
happens i mean maybe in the room and like i get but you're saying in the living in your living
room on your television how old were you when did this happen 2007 16. 16? Yeah, when they un- 15, 16.
Yeah.
What's the matter?
What's the matter with you gasping?
Another grown man on TV scrolling?
I'm not saying I'm not wowed by things.
Yeah.
But I don't know if I'm gasping.
I don't know if I've gasped at anything.
You've never gasped?
I don't think so.
I mean, it wasn't embarrassing. What was that? gasping i don't know if i've gasped at anything you've never gasped i don't think so i mean it
wasn't like i wasn't oh it wasn't embarrassing what was that i was like oh wow mama
you said that you said they ain't gonna do it but they did it mama
he's swapping on this did you start swapping on your tv and just go is it gonna move
that's how you change the channel on your tv you just started like rubbing on the screen
papa get in here what did you used to think the tvs were did you are they in the box
is missed is that mystical man is this when you learned that they didn't live in the box? I thought that they were dying.
They were really dying in the shows.
Yeah, we've covered that.
That's a callback as well.
I know we covered that.
That's what I was trying to do, a callback.
All right.
You usually don't remember that stuff.
That's why I asked, because I was trying to keep making fun of it.
Okay.
I wasn't bringing it back up to go, let's get into that again.
You really shut it off going, yeah, we've already covered that.
You just usually never remember anything we talk about the show no more vaccines invented again let's go through that again what's aspirin do makes your headache
go away oh that's the cotton in the aspirin they put in was uh cotton gin very another important
invention oh cotton gin uh 300 000 patents are issued in the U.S. each year,
which is just over, only 50% are approved.
So over 299,000.
That's what I thought, just a little bit over.
Here's some current inventions that have recently come out.
The Pay-O-Fit.
This was invented in Japan.
It's to exercise your face muscles.
There it is right there.
Yeah.
Facial fitness.
Like a Shea weight.
Oh, that's stupid.
Well, let's go take off.
I mean, like we're getting,
so you put this thing in your mouth and you shake it.
Or it shakes and it helps your face.
Yeah, it tightens your you're we are i mean
that's a group of people that they took that i'll bet they took the picture before they did this
training is super easy uh yeah so it's i mean it's people that are listening at home
you put a thing in your mouth and it stretches out like wings and you shake your head up and down
and it it's like a shake weight that kind of does it's like a shake weight in your mouth, and it stretches out like wings, and you shake your head up and down, and it's like a shake weight.
That kind of does that.
It's like a shake weight for your mouth.
Yeah, basically.
There's no, I mean, you know, there's stuff like we're getting too,
it's getting too complicated.
We're almost trying to make everything too perfect,
and that's like messing everything up.
Everything's too perfect.
There's nothing to be flawed anymore.
You can't, if you say something wrong,
everybody attacks the one word you say wrong.
Like, why'd you say that word wrong?
Like it's, you know.
94%, look at that pie graph.
94% approved of it.
Yeah, but that's what he said earlier.
You're saying we shouldn't care
about these muscles on your face.
It's like, come on, dude.
Well, you're now getting to just,
instead of going like, hey,
you know what, I would almost, I'd be happier with this commercial going, you know what?
I can't even believe that, but we're, the world is so good that now we can start working
on these muscles in our face.
Yeah.
Because we have so much stuff for the other day.
Like to do that, instead of being like, hey, you tired of your face being stupid?
And then they go, no, I guess maybe.
And then that's how like women with like Botox and that kind of stuff,
they get in this, you know, because they think, ah, I got to do it.
And every time you go, they're like, you see that?
And they point it out that you go, yeah, that is,
I do want you to get that fixed.
And then you just start getting fixed and it gets worse and worse.
That's why you see women that look insane.
And even men, men that go do it.
It's crazy.
You got to just ride out. What's funny is women don't know that they something to do you're more attracted just
normal natural is like way is way prettier i was like my wife with no makeup yeah anytime i would
say as she looks the best to me like with it's just when's just when she and she always says, well, I look terrible.
Yeah.
You know?
Because I'm a caveman.
Let's talk about some failed inventions on that line.
The Read-O-Matic was invented.
The robot Read-O-Matic invented in 1963 was meant to help slow readers improve their pace
by revealing one line of text at a time.
Mechanical plate would slide down the page.
I think that, I probably didn't send that one to you.
Mechanical plate would slide down the page, letting you know where to read in order to make a certain pace.
Problem was the device was too loud and the metal plate would scrape against the page like a chalk on a chalkboard.
So what, I don't know, what's the point of this?
That's not it.
the page like a chalk on a chalkboard so what i don't know what's the point of this that's not it it's to help people who slow readers who oh to let you know one line at a time and it would just
move down a middle place so it's trying to speed you up yeah help you read better yeah i could use
that i read slow i read i mean yeah i i try to read i've been trying to read faster where i just
kind of you just kind of breeze down the page and just gather the idea.
I think there's a lot of talking now.
You read an article and they start the article off with just like, what are you doing?
You know, it's like, well, this day in your, I mean, you can skip the first four paragraphs
or just nothing.
And then it's like, here's the thing I wanted to go.
But sometimes I do that.
And then I'm like, I bet that top part was important.
And then I have to go back.
You hear that Brian Regan bit where he's, I just got a speed reading.
I read like 48,000 words a minute.
Yeah.
But my comprehension plummeted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I try, yeah.
I mean, I'll, like, you ever just sit and you go, all right, you were watching something,
and you're like, I want to hear what that person said.
Now you have to, and I'll, like, back it up and I'm like, all right,
what is he saying?
And then you try to, but then your brain just kind of goes in another place
and then you got to do it again, you know, and you can't because of TiVo.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Don't know how it's working, but.
You need a Rit-O-Matic, man.
A Rit-O-Matic doesn't, so itit-O-Matic, so it's just training you.
Yeah, I saw there was one on eBay for like $40.
It came out in the 60s, but it's just like a metal bar
that came down and helped you move one line at a time.
I think it's the Rit-O-Matic.
The panic of just knowing that it's about to go.
Yeah, like if you're not there yet.
I mean, is paper going to just be gone, like if you're not there yet. No.
I mean, is paper going to just be gone, though?
Isn't paper going to be gone soon?
They're printing a lot less paper now.
Yeah.
Everything's digital.
Printing press thing is to be this giant thing
and now it's just going to be...
It's not very impressive now, is it?
Now it's not like,
hey, I've been in a printing press.
You're like...
Honestly, I kill a lot of trees
yeah the phone answering robot this was a failed experiment the 1964 phone answering robot
uh didn't work very well it could pick up the phone and put the phone back down but it couldn't
answer the phone or even well you'll leave a message there's a photo of it oh so why would you want this i think maybe he would just hand it
to you you go hello so the whole like you the phone's picked up and then you're just kind of
you're going hello no i'm gonna hold on he's about he's gonna give it to me in a second hold on
he's just a little slow hold on hey sorry but i sorry, bud. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
He's taking it back.
No, come here.
Get it back.
No, no.
You just have to talk to this robot.
There's no reason for it.
There had to be a guy that was like, yeah, this is like, you know what I mean?
He's just in his head like, this is what we...
Why does it have to look like a person?
Well, back then they thought that's what robots...
Because the person made it, I would imagine.
It could just be an arm, though, if that's all it's doing, right?
He thought it was going to be cool, but it kind of backfired.
So, oh, so basically his idea is you're sitting on the couch, phone rings, you're like, ah,
I got to get up.
And then it's like, and then the robot walks over and gets it and then brings you the phone.
No, he didn't even do that.
It just stood by the phone.
But that was probably the idea.
Maybe, yeah. That was maybe the idea. And then he didn't even do that. It just stood by the phone. But that was probably the idea. Maybe, yeah.
That was maybe the idea.
And then someone goes, what about a longer cord?
He's like, dude, I'm sorry.
Dude, just do the robot.
Don't be ridiculous.
You have cords laying everywhere.
You have a 400-pound robot walking around your house.
Just answer the phone.
And then that's how I didn't get anywhere because the guy didn't commit
yeah his partner said what about long cords and kind of blew his whole world up
what about two phones how much the robot can cost eighty thousand dollars
yeah a lot just the vanderbilt's have it and the robot hands the phone to their butler who
then hands in the phone and then they're gonna that's kind of fun right you're like yeah
yeah the exact same time the cat mu machine came along this has been in japan it was a
japanese machine that meowed 10 times per minute to scare away rats and mice
and the eyes lit up but it did not work and rats and mice actually increased
there are rats and mice i think they just figure it out yeah you know once it's on like
they get it and then they're like yeah like a scarecrow i think people see through these
crows see through these scarecrows they're usually on them we just put out a fake owl to try to scare away um uh squirrels from our
house and deck and stuff doesn't work no yeah getting too smart yep yeah they might they might
are squirrels might already have a printing press invented you think these other animals
turn into stuff where are they at you know you think squirrels i think squirrels have invented
stuff they can fall from wherever. Has an animal invented anything?
That might be a ridiculous question.
Yeah.
But are like apes using...
This is where they're going to...
Yeah.
They're going to put clips from this episode
as a strong debate of why this is...
The internet should be shut down.
It's just going to be here.
Vaccines helped save lives.
Obviously, right?
Now watch this part.
Did animals invent anything ever?
And then they go, see?
See what's happening here?
That guy went to Notre Dame.
And then it's back to me just reading
I mean I'm just sitting here just like
I
I can
cannot
express
okay
you answered
we have no idea
they invented animals
they know how to some chimps apes will use stone tools. We have no idea. They invented animals invented something?
They know how to.
Some apes, some chimps know how to use stone tools to break up food and stuff.
Okay.
Type it into the magic machine.
Didn't an animal invent anything?
I don't like the way I framed that question.
I need to back up a little.
I don't know how else you would say it.
Were any inventions made by animals?
By mammals?
You would rather say mammals.
Mammals sounds better.
Yeah.
That sounds...
Because we're mammals.
Were mammals invented anything?
Well, they've invented a lot of things.
We're mammals, you idiot.
You're like...
You know what I mean?
Like, not us.
Animals?
This article says, did animals invent music?
I'll have to give that a read.
Yeah, the early humans.
I'll give that a read later.
You ever see an article that tells you how long the read is?
Like a five-minute read.
I appreciate when they do that, though.
Yeah.
You know, it lets you know.
I get out.
It's a lot of pressure.
Do you find it accurate?
I don't know.
I usually don't.
If you're telling me, you're being pretty presumptuous, Lewis,
if you think five-minute read.
There you go.
Well, it's a one-second click away.
Ow.
Ow.
The sewing machine bicycle.
Oh, wow.
In 1939, an inventor in Chicago created a bicycle for a family of four.
All they could ride together.
And the mom could even keep sewing.
Dude, that's so funny.
That's, I mean, yeah.
That's, I mean, the idea.
Look how happy they are.
Where we're at now with women's rights.
Where we're at now with women's rights and just to be tired of wanting to go ride a bike with your family, but your wife stops working.
Why come up with an idea?
You know what I mean?
And then the guys are like, that's unbelievable, dude.
So she can keep sewing and do her woman stuff while you guys have fun.
You're exactly like, what about a kitchen? You're right right you know what i mean we're gonna put a kitchen on there great man
and then she's like yeah this is what i love oh man poor lady that's hilarious yeah it did not take off all right did they just think to
you know they're just trying to get famous for something yeah a lot of stuff didn't work out
yeah it was 1939 yeah i love it um i don't think i sent you this one but the baby cage
so not in 1884 there are photos of this dr luther em Emmett Holt said in a book that babies need to be aired.
The thinking was that part of the process to toughen up babies and make them better able to withstand common colds was to expose them to cold temperatures outside or through cold water bathing, which would grant them a certain immunity.
so people who lived in big cities like new york and london started didn't have yards started putting their babies in these cages that hung outside the window
yeah i've seen pictures of this just randomly you know this is a real thing yeah it happened
for a while eleanor roosevelt did this to his kids or they had it done to him? Well, she put her baby.
I was just thinking, like, I didn't even listen to the first name.
I mean, I wasn't even.
Yeah, I wasn't even.
She's like one of the most famous women ever. Yeah.
I wasn't even paying attention to that first name.
She did it to her baby before she was First Lady of the United States.
Yeah.
When she lived in New York.
A lot of people did this.
Yeah.
And then it was very popular.
But she wasn't that smart.
You're right.
So what was wrong with it?
The baby?
Did people die?
They were like 30 stories high and putting their baby out outside the window.
On a window.
I mean, I understand.
So I don't see what's the problem.
I don't understand.
I understand how it could go wrong.
Did these fall and people die?
People complained about it.
And then when World War II started in London, there's a war going on there.
They started bringing their babies in
from outside.
Yeah, if there's a war going on,
maybe bring them inside.
You know with the bombs dropping
and stuff,
it's just a lot.
In New York,
it said because of the rise
of urban automobile traffic,
a smog started.
It's kind of hard on the babies.
Yeah.
But if you live in a nice,
clean, suburban neighborhood,
put your baby in a cage out the
window yeah we would let we'd put harper in the front yard let her sleep and then just figured
she should be able to survive amongst the other animals and that's how we raised her uh we were
not animals so we didn't do it in a cage obviously we let her roam we were even free range stuff so
we would toss her in the front yard and
uh just every morning go still here yeah yeah um did you see some guy writing an article about that
though oh yeah that's what it is it's like then it's people reading oh wow yeah oh that book you
should be doing yeah yeah and it's like you're like oh that's what you should be doing like that
makes sense because it's's the idea of it.
You see it, and then you end up having, I mean.
Gets out of control.
It gets out of control.
Like, they want to talk about, like, and I do get the idea.
People are putting babies in cages out their window.
What if a cage, yeah, I don't know if a cage broke.
It's like an air conditioner.
I mean, it's probably not going to fall, but it could.
I'll tell you what.
I would have to have somebody come in and professionally install that.
Yeah.
Because I would not trust my ability to set that thing up properly.
I mean, can you imagine just walking down New York
and you just see just, man, like babies crying and you're like.
I mean, I saw a picture of one crawling in the cage.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
With just pigeons on top of the cages.
I didn't think about that.
Like that one right there, the Bold and Beautiful Baby. Yeah, with just pigeons on top of the cages. I didn't think about that.
Like that one right there, the Bold and Beautiful Baby.
I mean, that's – or that 1930s Outdoor Baby one right there.
Yeah, this one is just hanging loose.
You know, like this was in New York.
I mean, you think if you went to Ohio during this time,
they're like, they're doing what?
Like that's how – like that's why I would want to travel to New York
to go do this babies in cages at the window.
And I'd be like, well, I have to go.
Yeah.
I have to go see this.
And then that's why I wouldn't, I would probably have missed the Statue of Liberty.
Yeah.
Because I would have been just looking at all the people hanging babies in the cages,
just walking down.
Did you see the Empire State Building?
You're like, I don't, no.
It's hard to get past the babies hanging in cages.
It's tough.
It's like Planet of the Apes stuff.
I remember when Michael Jackson put his baby out a window for a few seconds.
Blanket?
Yeah.
And people freaked out.
The baby is named Blanket.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that was, I would rather that baby been in a cage
than the way he dangled that baby out yeah i mean that was yeah he kind of just brought like
huh what do you guys want you're like he doesn't what we don't want that we definitely don't want
that and i by that i mean uh naming the kid blanket that's the real tragedy actually the blanket name is yeah yeah pretty crazy yeah why
did he do that just to be funny showing him to the paparazzi yeah it was paparazzi just trying
to be funny yeah yeah yeah talk about all-time bomb of a joke i mean we're still talking about
it this was years ago yeah yeah yeah i mean that's so you know he doesn't know that's a
celebrity's holding babies i love it ever did i talk about that on this like i've talked i might
have said it on stage if you ever just just that's the funniest thing to me is watch uh
especially see it now on instagram because you see people at home you can really tell
like someone's a real mom or dad versus not and like you see them hold
a baby and like i've seen a picture of like the rock holding this kid he's got he's got the baby's
like on the head his hip like it's clearly like he's like he doesn't know how to like hold this
baby like you know it's too light yeah like you see uh i mean the gretzky's, like, they're Dustin Johnson and his wife,
or girlfriend, fiance, whatever, Paulina Gretzky.
I mean, after a U.S. Open, you just saw them walk up with the baby,
but both of them, you're like, someone grab those.
You're like, just someone get those babies.
Like, they do not, you know, it's just like, oh, yeah.
Like, it's, you know, it's like handing, if I handed you a baby.
Yeah.
Right now, you'd be
like oh thank you because they have nannies and they don't yeah know how to do it yes because i
think they have nannies and they're just not you know they're not it's not real they're not doing
real family stuff which is you know yeah you know like so it's like they're not having to be
real parents i mean you can afford you i mean you probably have multiple nannies and you just have
you know they're they're i mean they have new york city would be you'd see all kinds of nannies
walking kids i mean they take their they basically put some will put the kid to bed they get their
they're their full-time nanny which is i get like if you're busy like i get it you know
yeah but it's very funny to see them in action. Yeah. In 1896, the first person was hit and killed by a car.
And so then the car makers started trying to come up with ways
to prevent pedestrian accidents.
So a couple of car companies came up with the Car Walker Catcher.
And it was a pedestrian safety device.
I think I sent these to you, right?
It was first introduced to the public in Germany.
They had two different types that put a net on the front of the car,
and if someone's walking, it was supposed to catch them.
It's basically a huge ham.
They eventually just gave up on this because people are dying,
I mean, just in gigantic numbers.
Yeah. Yeah. They're not getting hit by cars but they're you know and what ended up happening was this thing
would block the driver's sight so they couldn't even see where they were going so it there's
there's an example this is gonna be really funny but
so it kind of yeah if you just get hit by the car it kind of scoops you up it's got a net This is going to be really funny. Oh, boy.
So it kind of, yeah, if you just get hit by the car, it just kind of scoops you up. It's got a net.
Yeah.
Oh, it just kind of basically scoops you up, and yeah.
I mean, that's awesome.
It's not that bad.
I mean, they have, you know, you've seen now there's a lot more.
They're filming.
I feel like Russia does it.
What?
Their front of their cars have the videos.
Because they always
catch like so much crazy stuff on it uh so that's you know it's like it's not helping but it's it's
like stopping a lot of or these fake crimes or something or this one it's a device that it's not
on there all the time this is 10 years later you push a button almost like an airbag that when you see
someone walking down the streets too bad this isn't yeah playing but it's push a button and
it pops out like an airbag if you see someone walking but you gotta push the button the driver
like right there boom yeah guys still reading up yeah oh okay so he's fine wow he's fine now this is these cars this is probably what these
cars could go 18 miles an hour yeah and does uh do you think you gotta help the guy fold that back
down you know like because it pops open like an air i mean if an airbag comes out it's like a
whole thing so you think you then gotta go you just keep going you're like hey man i must saved
your life you think you could i think it's
a courtesy courtesy fold it back under help me get this back up on the car yeah yeah i think it's the
nice thing to do you got it he goes i got it and then it's two feet and then he has to do it again
and then you're like i'm gonna just leave it open because it's like i'm just railing people
because no one knows how to no one knows how to look for this stuff.
I mean, people are just walking out of the street.
That happens in New York where people get hit because you just don't think about it.
You don't think about it.
Or I think when I drive here, when you're driving, you don't think to look for a pedestrian.
I mean, you're not like, oh, people are walking.
So you make a turn.
You're like, thank God no one was walking, dude.
I wasn't looking at all.
I mean, I wasn't crazy.
But now we have so much technology in these cars.
Yeah.
I think it's going to be, you know.
We'll sense it.
Airbags, yeah, they can tell.
Hey, there's a guy up here.
Yeah.
And then you just hear beeps, or they or they stop you know all that kind of
stuff yeah i think it's gonna be crazy when everybody has self-driving cars we've had it's
gonna be crazy to think we did this on our own at one point will you gasp at it will you be driving honestly i might man i might do it i would blow me away yeah to have a self-driving we will make
fun of ourselves like can you believe we used to do this ourself yeah that's what i'm thinking it's
so crazy dangerous yeah to drive yeah we're all doing pretty good i mean we're doing all right yeah but we're doing really
good i mean you say dangerous is like like we're in coal mining you just said i'm so glad i was a
pedestrian there because i was talking about it i know but i'm saying man but do i hit them no
we're doing great everybody's doing relatively everybody's doing really good we're not having
this giant problem with this like uh like you're y'all are talking like we got to get rid of us driving no i'm just i'm saying
we're gonna years from now we'll look back now can you believe that we used to let people just
drive their own car but yeah i mean automobile accidents is still one of the leading cause of
death every year no yeah i know yeah i know do you want to walk that back a little bit no no
i don't think it's i I think we're doing great.
I mean, you know, overall I do get that it's a dangerous thing,
but I don't think we're sitting here going,
we got to put a stop to this.
You're right.
You know, heart disease is the number one.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not the worst, but –
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I could have heard
just to...
Go watch that video, dude.
And listen to those people gasp.
If I was sitting there with your dad, I'd say, what's wrong with your boy?
Like, what's he
going to do? Go to college and stuff?
He's probably going to be in school.
You would be that. You're not going to be...
They're going to be like, did your boy go do
manual labor? You're like, he gasped at us. No, what do you would be that you're not gonna be you know they're gonna be like is your boy gonna do manual labor you're like he gasped at it no what do you think he's crazy
he's gasping at the tv he's rolling his finger up and down it he thinks he doesn't what do you think
dude this was revolutionary dude i i get that it's revolutionary i I'm just sitting at home in Alabama.
A young teenage Aaron Weber.
Oh, mother.
Mother, father, come here.
Where were we at when you saw it?
I was watching it on my computer.
At home?
At home, yeah, with my sister.
I remember we watched it.
We did call.
We were like, Mom, Dad, you got to see this.
This thing's unbelievable.
And it was like two years before I saw one in the wild after that because nobody had them.
Yeah.
Before you actually – and you just see people and you walk up.
Is that the new – I agree that the invention's nuts.
It's nuts to be touching with your finger and it moves.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think all that stuff's crazy.
TiVo, for for me was my thing.
I don't think I gasped, but I went a long time and I just didn't understand.
I didn't understand how people, I would like talk to the person like they invented it.
Do you remember when you first heard about it?
You saw somebody had it at their house?
Yeah, I remember hearing about it and I just was like i don't know i go what i just couldn't even i didn't understand what like what
do you mean that's going to happen what do you mean they're going your tv's going to stop where
is it where is it stopping to where is it you're why can you ever use it just you pause it you
wind it whenever you're gonna it none of that made sense so i'm not saying i can i i was you know i wasn't gasping
it wasn't do you have a good grasp on it now how it works no no no i don't know how anything works
i don't got i can't i don't know how you're touching your yeah screen yeah still i should
be gasping more i'm aware of it yeah i just think it's very it is very funny to think as a
I mean
just a picture
holy moly
did you see that
he got
that guy
what
was there a spider in here or something
he just swiped up on the screen
with his finger.
That was the iPhone 7?
The first iPhone.
2007.
And you could swipe on the first one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was great.
Before that, it was a flip phone.
No screen touching.
Yeah.
Yeah, BlackBerrys.
Yeah, BlackBerrys were wild.
Not gasping at a BlackBerry.
Do I have time? Can I give you all my invention ideas? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, blackberries. Yeah, blackberries were wild. Not gasping at a blackberry.
Do I have time?
Can I give you all my invention ideas?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
See if you guys want to invest.
Yeah.
I haven't done any work.
Yeah, I would love it.
I've always wanted these.
I want a dishwasher.
Why are you loving this?
That's just a big box.
You don't have to stack things.
You don't have to put things on a rack.
You just toss everything in. Yeah. And it does it. Yeah, but how's it but if they're on top of each other is it going to clean them i mean that's it's all that's all part of the invention that's the invention is it
figures it out it would handle all that yeah because i think i do dishes a lot i do it a lot
more often if i could just throw everything in there yeah i don't have to stack it all yeah
that's my big invention if If you want to invest.
Yeah, I mean, the logistics of it have just... That's going to be the tough part.
That's going to be the tough part.
A lot of plates breaking if you're just throwing stuff in there.
Right.
I'm more of an idea guy, I think.
Yeah.
I would say put them where the sink is.
Yeah.
And you're always just laying them in there as you go along.
And eventually that sink closes up and then appears again.
And you're like, it's all clean.
You know?
That's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
So it's not its own separate thing.
You just kind of close up the sink and then.
Yeah.
And then.
Oh, okay.
Then it figures it out.
And then you wake up the next day.
I like that.
Yeah.
And what I think would be happening is someone would be sneaking into your apartment while
you sleep and do the dishes and then closing that door back is what I think the invention be happening is someone would be sneaking into your apartment while you're sleeping, doing the dishes, and then closing that door back.
It's what I think the invention has to be.
So we have to employ a lot of people.
And we'd have to just, they're like, what is going on?
And you're like, I don't know.
But for some reason, when you buy this dishwasher, you have to give them a key to your house.
I never understood that.
I never got that.
That never made sense to me.
Oh, man. I like it. Thank it thank you man i've always wanted that is there more yeah i mean i got others i got others yeah i want a shower that's like a 360
degree like you walk in like a scanner at the airport or you just do it and it just knocks you out in like 10 seconds and then
you get out just like a quick just like a hose like be hosed down real fast like an elephant
like you want like you want to be you the way you look at bathing is as a nightmare like it's
well so no i you know you have a lot you have a lot going on that you are.
How much time do you think you're wasting in a shower?
Is it the idea of.
Well, I'd like these two hours back.
I'll tell you that much.
Yeah, I would too, to be honest.
Yeah.
But wouldn't it be nice to have the option?
Oh, I'd like it just a quick.
You walk in.
I need to go real fast.
Boom.
Just, yeah.
And just power washes you off.
And it has the water and the soap in it.
It's got everything.
It's got everything in it.
It's like a car wash.
Shampoos your hair.
Yeah.
You're like, car wash.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That'd be nice.
That'd be nice.
You could have a shower like that,
that if you just build a shower with a bunch of shower heads on it.
I've been in some of those where they're straight up and from the sides.
What about the straight up?
Yeah.
What if you do that?
We're almost there.
I'm saying we're almost there.
Yeah.
You don't even want to actually have to move your arms.
Like you just go and stand.
Right?
That's the idea.
If I could walk in and sit down, that'd be great too.
As I was just in the shower.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like Kramer.
Yeah.
I figured I'm already in there so why not yeah all right
we're about how many more do you have you have one more i got one more all right it's the air
conditioning unit with here we go it all comes with a built-in built-in sense you know and you
can adjust like smells yeah yeah so air conditioning yeah this is built in you know make the whole Like smells. Yeah. So air conditioned. That's what a scent is, yeah.
It's built in, you know, make the whole house smell good.
Yeah, but that's already, isn't that kind of, that might be invented.
Show me where that is, dude, and I'll buy it right now.
Well, I know they have clips that go on at a car that you put on.
Yeah, I'm talking about for a house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and it would just, I mean, you have potpourri, you have this stuff yeah you can do that but i'm talking about just i mean i think the commitment to a full house with air conditioning
would be you get a headache like you know people can get a headache with that stuff these are all
things we need to think about and work on i read they tried smell-o-vision at movie theaters where
they put out scents for parts of the movies it just didn't work because the next people came in to see the movie it's just like what is that they get yeah they i mean they just
walk in they go the mother did it we already just go damn it ruined the whole movie they go god
you just figure it all out yeah uh they do that in uh some disney in disney world they have the
bugs life oh really has they do smells like a stink bug.
The 4D movies.
Yeah.
Like it's that stuff for kids.
We took, first time we took Harper, they have a thing.
I mean, Harper's losing it during this.
She was like five.
And it's like, you know, smokes flying out, all this kind of crazy stuff.
And then at the end, they say something, they let the bugs leave.
And then so every seat you just feel
like feels like bugs just run
under your seat
man I mean Harper
could not have jumped up
I mean just kids are
I mean she was a loser
she gasped
she gasped and I go
you know what that reminded me of
first time Aaron saw when you could swipe up on a phone and she goes oh Aaron from the and I go golly that was you know what that reminded me of first time Aaron saw when you could swipe up
on a phone
and she goes
oh Aaron from the podcast
I go yeah
can you believe that
and she goes
that's that's alright
she goes yeah
that's a good invention
you know
alright
so we'll call this episode
gasp
inventions
we did it
you guys will be praying we get back to states
as always everybody thank you guys for listening uh and uh comment do all the stuff that you do
we truly appreciate it and uh we will talk to you next week see you Thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast
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