The Nateland Podcast - #34 Aliens
Episode Date: February 17, 2021After solving the Wall Street financial market, this week Nate, Aaron, and Briefcase investigate another hard hitting topic - aliens. The guys discuss the history of UFOs, the first alien abductions, ...and decide if we're really alone in the universe. Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber) Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com #nateland #natebargatze As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to TALKSPACE.COM or download the app. Make sure to use the code NATE to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. That’s NATE and talkspace.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel,
wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts.
For exceptional traction on snow and ice, trust Continental Tires Viking Contact 7 tire.
And right now, get a $100 rebate with select Continental Tires.
Find a Continental Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations.
From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadxperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca.
Hello, folks. Welcome to Nate Land.
You might actually see that intro, then another intro,
because we are having to record this part, just the beginning.
It's been snow all in Nashville and kind of everywhere,
so we couldn't record this week, so we have an episode that we held back.
We've been excited for you guys to see this one.
Hey, I'm Jillian and I'm Patrick
and together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed
If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries
you might be interested in our show
because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching
We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine
We're talking the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker
the Ted Bundy tapes
What else?
The Turpin 13
Yes
The amazing sisters who basically tell the story The Girl in in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love
to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about
that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you listen. Hello, folks. Welcome to Nateland. We are here. I am Nate, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates.
Yeah, we're doing it. This is an episode that we're doing in case one of you guys kills over.
I think we would just take one week off yeah then we'd get rolling again
well i assumed if one of us got it you wouldn't even pause you just keep going if you got covid
yeah oh if you got i mean we would just step out and you keep going i'll say did you killed over
yeah even then uh yeah if you got code yeah i don't i definitely don't need you. Is that what we're saying?
That's what I'm asking.
That's like that line from The Office.
Dwight goes, if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
If one of y'all, if you got COVID.
I don't know if I'd notice but that yeah uh well everybody so yeah we were recording
this i changed you know i thought of like i have a different hat everybody always talks about our
hats how long can we go i still have a few hats i haven't worn that i think i could keep going i
had some repeats already i think this is probably a repeat.
Yeah, I could mix it up.
I still have a few more left.
Yeah.
But I've started diving into hats I don't wear.
Do you wear that hat around?
I don't.
I actually don't mind this hat.
I'd wear it to golfing.
I just haven't.
Yeah.
But I would wear it.
You know, I like it.
Brian, what's your hat situation, man?
I got a few. I got some vintage ones.
Do you have a warm one on the podcast?
No. People have requested.
How did practice go with the Titans this week?
Like you never wear some...
You look like a shrine
in your closet.
But yours looks...
I mean, like the you know, the guy that they, he goes,
comes home and says to his wife, they go, they let me on the field this week.
I think you've worn one of the exact same materials.
With that jacket.
And she's like, oh.
You think you're going to get a coach or something?
He goes, no.
But I got to be down there with the players.
And I feel it was nice they gave me this jacket because it was a little windy.
And no,
I'm joking.
I would wear it.
I could have got this from your closet.
You could have.
I don't have a Titans one,
but I have,
I wear a lot of sports stuff.
I think it's you.
You don't wear it.
So it's stands out more.
It was a birthday gift.
I set the tone.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
Still celebrating his birthday.
Well, you don't throw it away
the day after your birthday.
You can only wear it
on your birthday.
It's like a birthday card.
How long is it?
Two days max.
What's that?
Ken Sanza?
George?
Yeah.
You making that up?
Making it up.
If you have a mantle,
my whole life would be.
I'd be a different person if I had a mantle. all right so yeah we're recording this one uh just as a pre-tape
just in case uh and uh so we're gonna read we got some just comments uh that we you know that we sit
and say these are the good ones not good but they're the ones that... This is the B team. These aren't good.
Yeah.
If your comment gets read on this one, I mean, we're just saying you're on the team, but you should step it up.
Right.
If you still don't get read, you should just stop trying.
Yeah, at this point.
No, these comments are good.
They're just ones that are not timely.
Just not good enough for a real episode.
Yeah.
Right.
This is a real episode, though.
Some of our best episodes, honestly.
That's true.
You could argue you'd rather be on one of these episodes.
That is true.
Yeah, because the ones that we put out regularly are not good.
Luke Irwin.
I'm a huge fan of this podcast but on the flip side i also enjoy it
starting off pretty good little humor i like that i like that that was a good one
luke that's a good one yeah these are comments that just can be that can fit in anytime that
you know it's not who knows what we just talked about yes because when this is going to come out
so these are evergreen comments evergreen comments so if you yeah if you throw a comment out that you're like i didn't get read but it wasn't about
something specifically then maybe this is where you're going to get it steven jack it's a regular
name people too uh luke erwin steven jack watching nateland has made me realize it's better to be dumb and happy than it is to be smart and miserable.
It's a shot at you, Aaron.
You say that's like saying they'd rather be you than me.
Yeah.
Yeah, obviously.
Obviously.
That's funny.
Emily Zell.
An interesting life trend as i listen to the podcast thursdays i'm way more prone to roasting people because i just listened to bingley get roasted for two hours
my friends can usually say have you been listening to more nateland because i keep throwing out
zingers that's what it's about emily that's what it is that's what like that time people like oh
it feels mean you're like yeah dude we're comics. That's what, like, that time people were like, oh, it feels mean. You're like, yeah, dude, we're comics.
Like, that's every, like you said, every joke's mean.
Rip it up, man.
If you want to hang out with comics, you just make fun of each other.
Yep.
That's the point.
Good for you, Emily.
And you should be like, are you guys having fun today?
And they're like, I mean, they're probably like, no.
I mean, you keep attacking my wardrobe.
And she's like, well, don't wear that.
Joshua Tincture.
Hello, folks.
Nate, Aaron,
and Bonapartee.
Bonapartee?
Bonapart.
Bonapart.
That's a made-up word.
Like Napoleon.
Napoleon Bonapart.
Oh, Bonapart.
Yeah.
Napoleon Bonapart?
Yeah.
Like that's his last name? Yeah. Napoleon, his last name is Bonaparte. Yeah. Napoleon Bonaparte? Yeah. Like that's his last name?
Yeah.
Napoleon, his last name is Bonaparte?
Bonaparte.
Bonaparte, they don't advertise that that much.
You don't hear about Napoleon's last name a lot, do you?
I've heard it.
But I mean, everybody just talks about Napoleon.
He's like Oprah.
You just need the first name.
But Oprah Winfrey is...
Right. They don't you know if you if someone said i want to talk about napoleon bonaparte you're like i don't
know do we even know that like do i know him or something does he work with us and they're like
no you think more people know oprah's last name than napoleon's world worldwide we're talking
worldwide yeah yeah now i do i don't even think it's close dude yeah oh you think napoleon's way better known yeah i mean you don't even say napoleon the name napoleon is more known
but his last name is that's what i'm saying that's like hitler's first name everybody knows that
adolf right yeah that's the same thing uh hitler was for 1945 i mean he's it's recent
yeah napoleon wasn't that far before that 30s uh
i've never heard i don't know if i've ever thought about his last name or
yeah i mean it didn't make bonaparte napoleon bonaparte i think he was embarrassed of it
i think napoleon is such a great name that it's like bone apart.
And you'd be like, what?
We're going to listen to this guy?
Yeah.
And then we'll be taking it serious.
I mean, he's clearly not being taken serious.
We're using his last name as a joke.
It's Napoleon.
Not asking you to name names, but you think some comedians that started in the last few years will disappear now that trump is leaving office being that is their entire set like the comedian with his ponytail the ponytail
uh i do i think i mean it's gonna be interesting i mean that's gonna be interesting all the way
around news news will be very interesting to see like just what are they gonna do uh i mean i think
media is gonna get crushed you go see see all these kind of open mic journalists
that have gotten some credit over just putting stuff out on Twitter
and all this stuff.
That's going to be gone.
Your whole system is built on hating a guy.
And so, yeah, a lot of comedians,
when they're going to make fun of whoever they're going to make fun of,
I think they'll still make fun of Trump.
I think they will. That's all they're going to make fun of whoever they're going to make fun of. I think they'll still make fun of Trump. Yeah. I think they will.
That's all they're going to be able to do.
So, yeah, they should be able to shift and go.
But, yeah, you're going to see – you will see a drop-off, I bet.
The good ones adapt to whatever, right?
I mean, yeah.
The good ones, it doesn't matter what's going on.
That's the point of being a comedian is you should just be funny.
But I'm saying – so, yeah yeah there's a lot you know that
will will be interesting to see i mean that sarah cooper what is she gonna do her whole thing is
doing trump on tiktok right yeah yeah she probably wish she won a special and then so what's that's
funny she what she probably wish he won it would have helped she would have been it's i mean it's
like getting a guaranteed job yeah four more years four more years would be perfect right yeah but i mean maybe she'll
come up with something else you know she'll start doing biden lip syncs yeah she'll do lip sync i
mean look she just does lip syncs uh i mean just says words that people already say and uh one of our best comedians uh it's fine i'm fine with it
i think it's great you know yeah hop her out and get a netflix special
she went from nothing someone i think she used to do comedy in new york
oh stand up i think so uh but i mean zero to to Netflix special. Months.
Yeah.
Months. She started all that after the pandemic.
Yeah.
And then shot the Netflix special.
Yeah.
America's Fastest Rising Comedian.
Yeah.
That's the title.
Is it?
No.
I think that's Chad Ryden.
What?
Yeah.
Like, that's just what it's called?
You see Nate's head just explode?
Jep.
Jep's back.
Jep's been here.
He has.
Jepay.
Jepay.
This question is mainly for Aaron.
Do you consider comedy YouTubers as comedians?
There's a channel called Funhaus.
Funhaus?
Funhaus.
Funhaus.
Well, they spell house H-A-U-S. That's true. That's true. Funhaus. Funhaus? Funhaus. Funhaus. Well, they spell house H-A-U-S.
That's true.
That's true.
Funhaus.
It might be Funhaus.
I don't know.
Funhaus.
Funhaus.
Funhaus.
There's a channel called Funhaus,
which uses video games almost as a tool to make improv comedy,
and one guy, James Williams, is especially good.
He has done stand-up in the past after his YouTube career started.
Yeah.
Aaron,
what do you think?
I'm not sure why that's for me.
You know,
it reminds me of that fun house.
You know,
there's a,
there's an EDM artist,
like a DJ named dead mouse,
but it's spelled dead M a U five.
Yeah.
And I remember in college trying to act like I knew.
Yeah.
And I go back.
I was talking to this guy.
I go, man, I love Deadmau5, dude.
And he's like, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Deadmau5 is actually not a bad name either.
That's way better than Deadmau5, in my opinion.
So that's Funhaus is what I'm guessing.
I'm not sure why this question is for me.
Yeah.
You got to at least do in comedy.
Go ahead, Aaron. I'll take sure why this question's for me. Yeah, the guy least doing comedy. Go ahead, Aaron.
I'll take it.
Comedy YouTubers as comedians.
Sure, as comedians, just stand-up
is something different. I think that's
fair, right? It's its own thing.
That's my...
Yes, I think stand-up...
I would love everything to be
declassified,
but you separate us we're
stand-up comedians and they can all be yeah everybody's a comedian i'm a comedian i'm funny
you know whatever like but that's not i don't know this guy started staying up too after you
know what i don't know yeah oh you know yeah they do really, really good improvs. Here we go. Here we go.
Really, really good improvs.
When they have to tell you what they're doing, I'd imagine.
Guys, here's what we're doing.
It's improv comedy, and it's really good.
Okay, this is pretty good.
Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't seen it.
Maybe it's great.
Maybe it's funny.
It's all videos.
I mean, it's all like you get two seconds. Do you have a video? No, I don't know. I haven't seen it. Maybe it's great. Maybe it's funny. It's all videos. I mean, it's all like you get two seconds.
Do you have a video?
No, I don't.
They're pre-made videos with stand-up or, you know, I don't know.
Stand-up is such a long thing to create, and it's you creating it.
That's why I love the idea of stand-up.
You create it. One person creates it and they get up in front
of people by themselves and have to tell these jokes and these jokes have to work. And if they
don't, you embarrass your family. I mean, like it's crazy how much bombing. So that's why I like
stand-up and that's what stand-up is to me. I do think a lot of people are getting lumped into the
stand-up crazy. And I honestly, they go go tour because if they can sell tickets they can make a lot of money
and so that's what they you know
you're seeing people that have these big followings
and they go to stand-up which if
they do do that if they go to stand-up
I would hope that they create
a real show that's all you want
if you're going to go be a YouTuber
and you're like I'm going to sell tickets but I don't know
if you have your fans and they want to come see you then
good for you.
Like,
yeah,
do whatever you want.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Uh,
uh,
fun.
Wah has 1.4,
1.6 million subscribers on YouTube.
So they're pretty big.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's,
yeah,
it's,
uh,
uh,
yeah.
Yeah.
I'd love to see him do 20 minutes at the stardome. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, it's, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to see them do 20 minutes at the Stardome.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, just chaos going on.
I mean, yeah, go do a show.
That's the thing.
Doing a show where everyone knows you versus not is wildly different.
When you perform and you're performing and no one knows who you are
and they don't like you, the fact that you walk up there,
especially you're open for people and they're like, who is this?
Yeah, yeah.
All that, and you've got to win these people over.
There's nothing – that's pretty special.
That's almost like what the talent is that we go after in stand-up.
That's what you're trying to create.
Right.
Versus with this, I mean, he's only going to –
he'll never know what it's like to really perform in front of people that don't know him
it'll only be his fans i mean i don't think he's gonna go to open mics i mean i think you would you
if you you would see the difference of them but i mean look maybe he's working on it and maybe he
puts on a good show i did a show friday night uh for a cowboy church in al. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.
And it ended up going pretty well, but before.
What's a cowboy church?
It's just where people want to be cowboys or are cowboys,
and they go to church.
Is it called a cowboy church or you're calling it?
No, they call it.
It's like a type of church.
Yeah, there's a few of them.
Yeah.
I had a buddy that went to one.
He said he would chew tobacco in there.
So it's like you walk in, cowboy hat, everything, and you're in church.
Open bar.
Everybody.
I'm just kidding.
Everybody is being cowboy.
Yeah, cowboy hats.
Horses parked out front.
I've never been there.
It wasn't held at the church, but the people at the event center were wearing cowboy hats.
Not everybody, but certainly most of them were.
I mean, who's going to go to a cowboy church and then wear your hat?
You're like, I'm not wearing a hat.
I'm not a cowboy.
You're like, that's the main thing.
Yeah, where did you think you were going?
That's the word before church.
Right.
Should be church for cowboys.
Church of cowboys.
Church of cowboys.
But instead, cowboys is more important to them than church.
Right.
I thought it was going to go terrible.
The setup looked terrible.
Everything about it, I thought this is going to go terrible.
And it went pretty well.
But what would you – now everywhere you do shows, people probably know you.
But back when you were doing smaller corporate shows, I was thinking I would probably right now,
I thought I was going to have to bomb for 45 minutes.
I'd probably take 50% of commission just for it to be a good show.
If I had that option,
like what they told you.
So they walked up and they look 80 bucks.
You can walk away.
Oh,
dude,
I would love that.
Yeah.
That'd be almost everything.
I mean,
when six,
how much?
Yeah. So you're telling me they walked up paid for. That's how much he gets paid.
So you tell me, they walked up to you and they said, 60 bucks.
You can walk right now.
And you're like, God, that's almost all my money.
You're not far off.
Yeah.
But bombing hurts so bad and doing a great show feels so good that there's certainly a price we'd pay to just take less money for it to be a good show.
I don't know if there was ever for me
because I do want to feel it.
If a show's really bad, you're like,
well, I want to sit in that and I want to feel it.
I think you learn from that.
Yeah.
And you learn how to deal with that.
I mean, I remember a long time ago,
me and Giannis Papas was doing a show.
About to start his own podcast.
Me and Giannis were doing a show, and the show was just chaos.
It was outside, and you're supposed to do like three minutes.
And it's bands, and it's almost like a festival type thing.
No one's listening.
I mean, when Giannis went up there, I would say most of the room doesn't know he's up there.
Like that kind of thing.
Like you're like, oh, people are talking, but everybody's drunk.
And so they were like, we got hired to do it.
And they were like, all right, he can come off.
And then they told me not to.
They're like, don't even go up.
It doesn't, none of this matters.
But I remember I wanted to go up because I was like, well, I want to feel it.
Because you want to feel just that.
What does it feel like to be talking to a room and no one's paying attention maybe for a short amount
of time 45 minutes that was a short amount of time is a long time you're doing there you're
doing it for the money you're that's what you're getting paid for that's your job and so you
you do need to learn how to do that uh if you don't know how to do that to go up there and
figure it out you know it's like you should
every every mindset as a comedian should go i will make this work so i don't think you would
ever take it because you would go well i can i don't need to take it i'll i'll make these people
i'm funny these people will laugh and i know you're in situations that are not good but you
don't you ever don't you always think I can do it?
Yeah, until sometimes when I get there and see it in the flesh, the setup and everything,
and see the actual people, and I'm like, oh man, I am about to bomb.
Yeah.
I've done some shows where I've been like, all right, maybe for $20, just have everybody
face me.
Yeah.
Just like the bare minimum.
I'll do another 10 to turn off the TVs and just get it to where it's an actual show.
Yeah, that's all you're trying to fight for
is get it to a show that people know it's happening.
Well, I got the pastor to get everybody
to kind of move up to the front
because there was a food truck running the generator.
How much time did you do?
45.
Wow.
It was fun?
Yeah, it went much better than i expected just
went up cold there was a guy playing music beforehand he was just playing cover songs
and nobody was listening and everybody was just talking but that's totally different
playing cover songs with someone else as opposed to you just baring your soul on stage
did they nobody listened heard them together like did they did a guy walk and hurt them
and then kind of keep them they
don't even know they're getting moved to the stage is that how the cowboys just start they go yeah
they just keep talking next thing you know it's like oh there's a stage right here and you're
there maybe maybe yeah um so yes anyway we are we love comedy YouTubers. Long story short, Mason Gudenson, the Doppelganger episode was on the topic of multiple births,
talking about triplets and twins.
I make a comma, period.
That's a big problem.
That was a comma.
Doppelganger's episode was on the topic of multiple births, comma. And I just... Doppelganger's episode was on the topic of multiple births, comma.
And I just...
Doppelganger's episode was on the topic of multiple births.
Talking about triplets and twins.
Not to brag, but my brothers and I are the first set of all-male quintuplets
to survive birth in the U.S.
Wow.
I believe a Google image search of Gooden son quintuplets
will pull up the picture of us on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as well.
Once again, huge fan and Nate is by far my favorite comedian.
Sorry, Aaron and Beelzebub.
Beelzebub?
Huh?
Beelzebub?
Beelzebub.
Napoleon's niece.
Also, being born and raised in Montgomery makes hearing all of your stories about Alabama and Tennessee so much more relatable to keep up the good work.
Good and son,
quintuplets.
Look at that.
Wow.
From Montgomery,
Alabama.
Wow.
There you are there.
So they're 11 years old in 2007.
Is that where you're from?
I'm from Montgomery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At least someone made it on tonight's show from there.
Uh,
you know,
they're married.
Oh, look at that. That's pretty cool. You you know what's funny is they look for me like that's the good son boys yeah they
do look familiar almost like i love that out of all five of only one is a fan of it's like i can't
get the other four on board it's a lot but i like I like them. But I like them. Look at that.
How fun is that?
It's got to be pretty fun as a kid to grow up with five kids,
but then also the parents got to be a nightmare.
Not a nightmare, but it's like just all hands on deck
until these kids are grown.
They're probably about your age, right, Aaron?
Yeah.
Do you remember this?
So they were 11 in 2007, so they're five years younger than me.
They're 24, 25.
Does it ring a bell?
No, I would have remembered five.
Successful.
Looks like Ed Sheeran.
He does look a little bit like Ed Sheeran.
Yeah.
And then this is them doing the Pledge of Allegiance.
So they know we love America.
That's cool.
They love us.
Because we're taught to do it right in Montgomery.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
All right.
Wow.
Look at that.
That's really interesting.
That's got to be just a wildlife to have four, I don't even know what you call them.
Brothers.
Brothers. brothers god darren i thought you were smart i mean he was we have started digging and it's i mean on
the surface we thought it's all fake there's gonna be a lot of oil under this land, and then we keep – there's nothing. Oh, boy.
It is falling apart piece by piece.
That's not what I meant.
I mean, what do you call – if you have twins, you call them your twin.
You know what I mean?
What do you call your quintuplet?
Your twin.
He's my twin.
I think you say brother or twin, or you say – you probably say your twin well they're not what do you say even for twins that's what i'm
saying so you say brother but we're quintuplets what do you say it's a little bit of a conversation
to be honest i don't think it's a blow off no this is my twin let's keep going don't worry
about it i think it's like you got brothers you're like all right let me i gotta take a seat
yeah yeah i gotta dive into it a little bit.
Bobby Burns.
Can Aaron or Bacon Bits please sum up the concept of peer review to Nate?
Man, you throw a quotation at me, I stop.
That's what happens.
You get any kind of, just put any kind of dot i don't care what the
dot is doing something if there's a dot line put it behind a word i'm stopping and i'm gathering
myself and it really comes off describe quotation marks as dots well i'm just saying i'm just saying
any anything i'm not saying quotes i know they're not dots i'm just saying anything. I'm not saying quotes. I know they're not dots.
I'm just saying you put a line, you put a dash, punctuation, you put anything.
If there's going to be-
We got to explain peer review.
If a people put sauce down accidentally behind a word, I'm probably stopping.
Hey, Bobby Burns, we're going to back up.
We got to explain quotation marks first, and then we'll get to peer review.
There's the concept of peer review.
The bad part is when it just says, to Nate.
So that's the part that's hard.
Like a comma that's early, I can maybe, you don't notice.
But when I go, peer review, to Nate, that's when you're like,
I was hoping this sentence was going to keep going.
Every time he talks about scientists not having consequences for saying wild stuff, I have to shake my head.
Let's agree that the internet has given absolute morons a voice
to say whatever they want, but to get real research printed
in a legitimate way takes an unbelievable, very neat voice,
amount of time and effort.
Keep up the excellent work, fellas.
Look forward to every episode.
So peer review.
So he's saying that to get it actually.
But what I would say to that is what's your real thing?
Is it the news?
Is it regular TV news?
I mean, that should be powerful, right?
But I don't trust everybody in those TV news.
Internet, you're seeing people with blue check marks that say they're this thing.
I don't trust
all of them so what i would say to that is i don't know what to read what to read that doesn't have
some kind of like bias to it there's so much stuff that has bias to it that's the thing that i
question even like scientific journals scientific journals stuff all has bias when they were you
know not to get in the whole thing,
but like the outside to be like the protests are fine,
but you can't go inside.
And they say,
well,
that's more important.
I'm not trying to get all political,
but like that doesn't,
right.
A person that wants to stay out of it would just be like,
so we can all go outside and like hang out.
And they're like,
nah,
you can't all go out and hang out,
but you can,
if you're doing this other thing,
you can. So that, what would that, what would that hang out. But you can if you're doing this other thing.
So what would that guy say?
Give me one place to go look.
That's all I want.
Yeah.
I was just going to say that Bobby Burns is going to hate the episode we just recorded.
The last episode.
I mean, we trashed scientific research for about 20 minutes. A long time.
But that's what I would want to know.
Bobby, send me what I should look at.
I mean, is Bobby Burns a scientist?
I'm wondering why he's so worked up about this.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, he could just be making a point.
I mean, look, if he's right, all I want is like, look, I try to find out.
Do you ever look up some of the news?
I would look up, I want to find the most unbiased news.
It's pretty tough to find where you can't find some news that's like,
here's a dude that's just, this is the facts and let go from it.
You know, I know some of you say AP news, but I think AP,
like everything is kind of messed up right now.
Yeah.
Now I have a, you know, my friend Krista, who's a scientist.
And when they do research on a particular subject in their field,
then before they can release it as a paper,
they have to have other peers that are similar in their field from other
places,
review it and do the research to see if what they came up with makes sense to
keep somebody from just saying oh i discovered something ridiculous in
the smallest christmas card yeah exactly yes and then it gets once it's reviewed and
and verified then it gets released in some type of scientific journal
and then that's usually when the news then maybe reports that story yeah but does somebody outside
of the scientific community come in like a third party come in and go, all right, let's take a look at what all y'all are doing?
Yeah, except it'd be so hard for them to even.
That's awfully convenient.
Yeah.
I mean, it's.
You guys wouldn't understand.
But like scientists disagree.
They do.
Like, so there's not like there's never somebody that goes, no, that's 100% not.
So they go, I mean, I'm sure scientists get, even if peer reviews.
So you're like, well, it can only get posted if it gets a peer review.
Well, I could go send it to the correct peer reviews that I want to send it to.
Yeah.
So if I wanted to get something approved, I could be like, well, I'm going to choose.
I don't think they can.
Oh, they can't?
I think someone else.
So there's like an official process.
I think so.
Yeah.
And sometimes they do get shot down.
Sometimes people do say this doesn't make sense, it doesn't add up,
and they expose them for that.
And that's the stuff you want to read.
Yeah, that is the stuff.
That's the stuff I want to get into.
They're like, look, the people are not ready for this.
Now, there is an example on today's show that some guy just released some findings.
I don't know if it was a guy, but a group.
And it said expect it be coming out soon in a journal.
So in that case,
it seems like maybe they got it out there before it was out there.
Yeah.
I did not know.
I never thought about peer review.
So Bobby,
that I would agree with that.
And I,
maybe I just don't know where to look and see.
Yeah.
And it is,
you're getting,
people don't understand the power and the powerfulness of the internet
and, like, Twitter and all this stuff.
And then people...
Because people, even when they quote, like, a science thing,
and they're like, basically what the scientist is saying is...
And you're just reading that, basically what he's saying.
And now that guy's opinion is mixed in with whatever that scientist is saying.
But I just don't trust a lot.
I'm a very, and I've started becoming, I just don't trust.
I don't know.
I get nervous.
I don't trust stuff.
I don't know where stuff's coming from.
Bigfoot shows you trust.
I trust that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I believe a lot of stuff.
Yeah.
I believe it. You know, i think it's fun when it's
not yeah those are our peers those kind of guys yeah yeah yeah i know everybody's like i do about
show about bigfoot it's not harming anybody right you know what i mean like i mean i'm talking about
it gets into like serious stuff yeah yeah well aristotle aristotle said the mark of an educated
person is being able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Yeah.
I think that's a big comic trick.
Oh, boy.
It's like, let's go down this rabbit hole.
I'm not going to fully commit to this, but let's have fun exploring it.
Ted Lasso, which I finished last night.
Ted Lasso.
He quotes Aristotle.
You counted with Ted Lasso.
Ted Lasso.
You counted with Ted Lasso Ted Lasso
Point counterpoint
He said
I don't even remember what he said now
Something about being curious
He said you never be
You always be curious
He said just do never be, you always be curious.
He said, just do it.
The great mind.
Two great philosophers.
If no one, everybody, if they haven't, go finish Ted Lasso.
Ted Lasso's unreal, dude.
I finished it last night.
The best.
The best show. It's better than whatever Aeropostale did.
Aeropostale.
The Aeropostale Network.
Aaron's Poster Parents.
That's a fun one to go with.
I think we answered Bobby's question.
The follow-up. Once I quoted Ted Lasso, I think, Bobby, I think we answered Bobby's question. The follow-up.
Once I quoted Ted Lasso, I think, Bobby, I think we know where we're at.
Right, buddy?
Bobby's already turned it off.
No, Bobby's like, I think me and Bobby, we get where each other is at.
You know what I mean?
Bobby's like, my mistake.
Yeah, he goes, yeah.
Oh, you had an apology.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry.
I want a Bobby Burns in my life.
That's what I like.
I like to have a Bobby Burns that I just can go, hey, is this crazy?
That's what I like.
You need a Bobby Burns.
I'm not going to go read science journals.
That's crazy.
Just a guy to run it by.
I just want a guy that I would trust.
I wouldn't be like, hey, Bobby, how much do you trust this?
Like a peer review almost.
I like a peer review of the peer review.
That's what I like.
Yeah.
Dustin Boger, B-O-G-E-R, Dustin Boger.
Thank you, folks.
Because of your fast food episode, my family and I were able to avoid a long wait McDonald's drive-thru line.
While waiting, I checked McBroken.com and it was showing the ice cream machine was not working i called the mcdonald's to confirm this and the employee told
me that it had been down all day they've been having some big problems mcbroken.com such a
good idea if anybody doesn't remember when this came out it tells you in the ice cream machines
are broken and i mean unbelievable. That's so good.
A lot of people talk about wanting to help the world.
That guy did it, man.
I know.
That guy is, that's a legit.
It's rare to see somebody just step up and like, I'll get it done.
Everybody talks about real serious stuff.
And you're like, that guy, your time is not being just wasted.
He should be Time's Person of the Year.
Yeah.
Do you remember, there used to be the show before shark tank but it was the exact same kind of show where you pitch your
inventions yeah maybe it was shark tank there's one about inventions that i remember that i think
about that i this was might have been about inventions and a guy invented a device that removes all bathroom smell and he brought it in and the the panelists
were like this is not even like a real big problem so we're not even gonna yeah and there was one
panelist that was like i commend you i think you're doing the lord's work these people don't
get it i always think about that yeah the guy's solving a real a real world problem yeah you know and you're not always going
to get the love for that so uh i think about one invention because of that show the umbrella that
opens like upside down so when you go out when you like if it's raining and your door cracks
you can put your umbrella up and it opens inside out so it goes up and out so instead of having
you know you can never open your umbrella.
If it was pouring down rain, you have to open your,
you have to put your hand above the car and then open the umbrella.
This one, you could just put it right outside the crack of the door
and it opens inside out.
Wow.
And I remember seeing that on there and I was like, I mean, blown away.
This guy could be solving cancer for i mean just
you're like what is this kind of mind even how do we even walk around with a guy like that yeah
and he didn't win like a a car seat thing one for safety cars that is the same show yeah the car seat
that's like in a revolving circle yeah yeah which is which is you know i mean i don't see those
around so nothing came of it.
Yeah.
You know, yeah.
You know, I don't know if they're around either.
But I have one of those umbrellas.
Do you really?
Yeah.
A Vandy one.
And they work?
Mm-hmm.
It opens up.
I thought it was such a good idea.
Yeah, good for that guy.
I always think of the dryers, too, that you dry with your hand.
Mm-hmm.
You know, the air dry.
I saw that on 60 Minutes.
The guy made vacuums.
And then he made that. Those are Dyson, right? Dyson. Yeah. Hmm. You know, the air dry. I saw that on 60 Minutes. The guy made vacuums.
And then he made that.
Those are Dyson.
Dyson.
Yeah.
And every time I see it, I remember seeing it on 60 Minutes,
and I go, look at that guy.
Yeah.
I'm happy for him.
Every time I go in the bathroom, saw one yesterday, I go, okay.
He was doing all right before that.
I know, but I just saw it from that. He was like, then we started making this.
They're going to be everywhere.
And I didn't see them everywhere.
People called him dumb.
Yep.
And then they weren't everywhere. Then they got into every bathroom. And now when you go to bathrooms you see them you're like this guy got it everywhere and you're just like you can
almost see the success yeah and so you're like good for him good for him good for dyson you know
that couple in florida that took us out on the uh wild florida safari yep wild for she said she went on um uh shark tank she was telling us and
she and her sisters have a business where they created uh swimsuits for pregnant women yeah and
i think they went on there and got some funding oh really yeah do you remember that i guess uh i
don't know what do they look like i remember going to wild florida i mean yeah yeah i mean i guess
just if you want to go to the beach and you're a pregnant woman,
there's nothing you can wear that,
I don't know what they look like,
but they invented some.
And then there was a kid
that invented all the soap at hotels.
You use a soap bar soap.
Yeah.
Came up with a system
to collect it all
and recycle it.
So you're not just throwing away
almost an entire bar of soap.
He's just pushing them together.
Yeah.
Here's my system.
He goes,
what do you do?
He goes,
well,
you take a shower and you put it on top of the other soap and then you know it keeps falling off a lot and eventually it merges in or it gets small enough that you just kick it down the drain
and you're like oh so it's like a long game because it's a long game it takes a while it
takes a while we have a bar of soap sitting on top of our other bar right now
I saw it this morning
and you always just go
I don't want to use it
because it doesn't stay on
I thought about that
that's what an invention should be
how do you get the soap
the other soap
how do they connect them
you gotta put it all inside some type of netting How do you get the soap, the other soap, how do they connect them?
You know what I mean? You got to put it all inside of some type of netting and put it all in there.
And then use the netting.
But that's like a-
And then the netting is like a built-in scrubber almost.
Well, that's what like-
No, I'm thinking like a bar of soap.
Yeah.
You put it in some netting and then you can just use that.
Anybody who wants to be a millionaire, get to work on that.
Get to work.
Trey Eubanks.
I know, but that's the, what's the thing called?
Sponge, the spongy things that they pour the liquid soap.
Lufa?
Lufa.
That's basically what a lufa is.
Yeah, but you can do it with hard soap.
I know, but they will just use the, if you're going to use the scrubby thing,
then you might as well just use a loofah
and get rid of the hard soap completely.
I mean –
And just to use liquids.
I mean, listen, it's not –
you're going to have to make choices.
You're saying if you're like,
I'm never going to get rid of hard soap,
which if a guy – which it could be me.
I use hard soap.
I don't like loofahs but so if someone like me
shows up and i'm like i don't want i'm a hard soap guy show up where the soap convention
and so the shower convention and i go i'm a hard soap guy i'm not a loofah person and you go all
right but i'm tired of my soap sitting it's small and i can't keep it on
top of the other one i try to put it at the bottom sometimes it angles correctly sometimes it doesn't
it's a little crooked i go sideways i do a lot of things i smash it it seems like it works for
about a day and then it never eventually it'll get worn down enough so what do i do you go what
if you put it in like an alufa in a plastic bag? But I don't want a loofah because I would just do the liquid soap if I was a loofah guy.
I don't think there's a lot of guys that are hard soap and loofah people, is what I'm saying.
I think you'd be surprised at the overlap.
Of hard soap and loofah.
That's what I think.
That's crazy.
You're using a rag, a regular rag.
You know what?
I'll put a prototype together.
A study.
I used to think you were smart enough to be able to do something like that.
I'll get a peer-reviewed study.
Yeah,
that is.
That's out the window.
That's out the window.
I don't think you're going to.
I think I'd walk into you with a piece of the soap in your mouth.
I'm like,
oh God.
Trey Eubanks.
Hello folks.
Have y'all considered every few episodes doing a poll and let fans
pick the topic of the next podcast thank you for the clean comedy podcast uh yeah i would do that
i'd be interested to see we could do that yeah just do an open poll that could backfire yeah
well i mean it's just very open-ended so I don't know what someone would want to hear about.
And to be honest, we'd end up having to talk about all of them because we need topics.
But, yeah, if there was a way to somehow do that
where we could say, like, people could put in some suggestions.
I would say if people want to email, you know,
email nateland at natebargatze.com and throw some stuff out.
And if we ended up going like, oh, that is great, that'd be great.
And it can't just be, most people's suggestions are,
see if Nate can say these words,
and then they'll just list some hard words and stuff.
You can't just.
Give us a topic that we're going to do a whole episode about.
Yeah.
We haven't got to it yet.
We've been talking very much about comments,
but this episode we're going to talk about UFOs,
which I'm very excited to talk about.
You just want to give us something that we can ramble on try to be funny about uh but you know yeah so throw out
some stuff that you're like you know fast food we talk about anything see that'd be great dude
they get some in the way yeah we'll give you a shout out uh i uh so yeah john brocata two more
of these john Brocata
Regarding Nate's story about a funeral
A good friend of mine who's a pianist
Did I say that right?
Penist
Getting further away
Pianist
Piano player
I know but how do you say it?
I think it's pianist
Pianist
Yeah
So I said well why'd y'all laugh then?
I mean I think you know why we laughed
i know but pianist is i said it correct i mean it's pianist i went to a penguin funeral and
this pianist played came over one penguin's playing the piano so where what where'd he
learn how to do that a good friend of mine who's a pianist was once asked to play the organ at a funeral home.
She's not too familiar with the organ.
And when it came time to play, she accidentally hit the wrong button and the organ auto-played,
roll out the barrel.
I mean, just for maybe a solid minute because she couldn't figure out how to stop it.
The funeral home director was furious and said she'd never play there again.
However, the family said not to worry about it at all
and that anyone who knew the deceased
would know he would have loved it,
especially the idea of it happening at his own funeral.
Absolutely love the show, boys.
It's getting me through some tough times.
All right, stay there.
Stay strong, John.
That's hilarious.
That is very funny.
You know, that is funny to think if
someone's like plays the piano they're like i have an organ you wouldn't be like well do you know
what yeah you know you would think the general idea is there the base yeah the basics are the
same but there's a all these buttons that you never you know you don't know what's what yeah
organ people are superior that's just a totally different instrument. Superior. But could organ people play piano?
Sure.
So they are superior.
I mean, come on, dude.
Well, not as well as a piano player could,
but it's an analog instrument.
An organ's going to be, if it's like an electric organ,
there's all kinds of stuff.
An organ player is superior.
It's like, is a pilot superior to a race car driver
i mean but are the keys that's not even the those are two different things that's exactly what i'm
saying a piano and organ are basically the same thing that it'll be a helica maybe a helicopter
driver to a pilot maybe no i like i think my analogy was pretty good those are one can't go
in the air and one can so they do two totally different things a piano and organ the fundamentals
are the same you're operating a vehicle. But the fundamentals are the same.
None of us even know that there's a difference.
You're operating a vehicle.
That's the fundamentals are the same.
There's still a steering wheel thing.
Everybody on earth can drive a steering wheel.
It doesn't mean they can do a pirate.
Everybody on earth can play a piano.
I can't.
You just hit the buttons.
It's not hard.
Well, I can do it.
The keys.
Are the keys the same?
Or the buttons?
Yeah, the keys are going to be the same.
But there's usually, it's split up into two levels,
so there's two levels, and then you have, for your feet too,
you have an octave on your feet.
There's a lot going on.
Yeah, this is about as interesting as watching your buddy play the piano.
I.
Roll out the barrel. that's such a funny song
I don't know
what song is it
should I play it
you guys don't know this
no
no
it's 1939
so
I get why you
I figured Aaron
would know it
let's skip the chorus I can't turn up the tv okay but yeah it uh it looks like fun
it's called beer barrel polka
okay well so that'd be funny to just be at a funeral to hear that yeah do you really know
this song?
I don't know if that's the same one I know.
I know Roll Off the Barrel.
I think you guys would know it if you heard the chorus.
Yeah.
But.
Okay.
All right.
You guys know Roll Off the Barrel?
Nobody knows it.
I mean.
All right.
Nobody?
Elaine, the big band. Just sitting there. what was the song she knew yeah something
old man like all your songs are just like old man driving to jones street and that's your
favorite song it's always like real long it's like a sentence moon river yeah it's not even
they're even like worse you know, it's like,
Friday night,
taking a cab to downtown.
You're like,
what's that song?
You're like,
that's my mom's wedding song.
She listened to it.
You're like,
did she?
How is that about that?
Midnight time at the zoo.
You're like,
what?
Are these our song names,
dude?
That doesn't even make sense.
That's all,
I would say that's all
Andrew's sisters.
That's the band's too.
That's the most popular version of the song on YouTube.
It's the Andrew's sisters.
And it's got 165,000 views.
So popular.
The Jones boys
playing their hits.
Oh boy.
Turning around on a dead end to Jonesville.
I don't know.
Next stop, Pottersville.
Next stop, Pottersville.
That was it.
Next stop, Pottersville.
Oh, that's an easy one.
Mr. Pitt.
Mr. Pitt.
Pitt.
That is a pretty fun.
I was trying to think of any other.
Because the songs back then are all crazy.
They're just like a full-on sentence.
A lot of Mario.
A lot, yeah, that you know to, you know.
What time is too late for the time zone?
You're like, I don't know.
I mean, this point, I can't.
I'm having big trouble.
Glenn Rudolph.
At this point, I think you guys are deliberately ignoring the alien topic
y'all must know something and the government wants to keep you silent well glenn it's your
lucky day because we're going to talk about the government wanting to keep us silent now
we are going to talk about it uh uh let me show you i did like so you had one more comment in here uh
as i'm sure you know the pga has what's in the bag for whoever wins the tournament each week
since you're a big golfer i'm curious as to what all is in your bag also when uh when you do golf
with benjamin buford blue how many strokes do give him, and is he allowed to drive the cart? I don't think he's driven the cart.
Read that person's name.
Tyler Williams.
Tyler Williams.
Yeah, you haven't driven the cart.
I couldn't even give you enough strokes, to be honest.
Not even to be mean.
I don't think I could give you enough strokes.
Can you give me like three a hole?
I'd have to give you i mean probably a couple
every yeah yeah i mean maybe 36 strokes yeah you shoot your average is like a hundred
something right 105 not nothing crazy haven't broke 100 but on a on a hard course it's gonna
you probably shoot 105 10 something like that and then then a course that's not as hard, you break 100.
Once.
Once.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm always in the 80s.
So, I mean.
It's 20.
Yeah.
But that's triple max.
I mean, it's like, you know.
But I like a triple max because I can't sit it.
But if you had to play straight up, tournament golf.
I do like a what's in the bag, but no one else.
There's no one.
No one cares.
Tyler wants to know.
The main, I have PXGs in my bag, Taylor May Driver,
and I use a 50, 54, and a 60.
There we go.
That's golf talk right there.
Thinking about changing it up to a 58,
make it to 54,
and go 50.
That's bold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, people just,
someone just nodded off and just hit the guardrail.
Oh, God.
What are you doing? Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed.
If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries,
you might be interested in our show
because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching.
We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine.
We're talking the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker,
the Ted Bundy tapes.
What else?
The Turpin 13.
Yes.
The amazing sisters who basically tell the story.
The girl in the picture.
Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about story. The girl in the picture. Yes.
All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends.
We're your friends now.
We're the friends you talk about that stuff with.
Yeah.
We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast.
Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
UFOs.
So, it's something I've always wanted to talk about.
And I do love it.
And then, so, it's, you know to talk about, and I do love it.
And then, so, it's, you know, I mean, look, aliens, the alien thing is getting, it's batting around, you know?
Like, what we're talking about.
It's serious.
It's getting serious. I think if we had done this podcast five years ago, it'd be much different.
It's just, it's become sort of, it's becoming,
and you listeners might not even know this yet,
but it's becoming a mainstream, people are talking about it.
People are talking about it on the news. It's no longer crazy people.
By the time this comes out, we may have already found them.
Right.
Yeah.
So read the main thing that came out,
the latest thing that we mentioned on the other podcast.
The New York Times article?
Yeah.
So, New York Times, well, they've actually broken a couple of stories.
In 2017, they were the first one to break that story about the video we've seen of the Tic Tac UFO.
Yes.
Which was shot in like early 2000s.
Never thought it looked like a Tic Tac.
That always seemed, I never, you know, it was like a weird thing to say.
Yeah.
And I guess it's like, it looks like a little Tic Tac.
And you're like, okay, does it look like a Tic Tac?
I'll pull up the video.
So that was in 2017.
They broke a story about that and had that video,
which the government last year confirmed was real.
And then back earlier this year,
they did a story about a government
pentagon program called unidentified aerial phenomenal task force which was to collect things
on uh ufos and in that story um i mean they quote people like marco rubio who says you know we're
just trying to figure out what's going on, things like that.
The most interesting probably quote from the whole thing was Eric Davis, an astrophysicist, works as a subcontractor, consultant for the Pentagon, said in some cases they found material that we couldn't make ourselves.
And as recently as this past March, he gave a briefing about retrievals from off-world vehicles not made on this earth.
That's the big comment.
The Israeli?
No, is that the Israeli?
No, no, no.
That's the New York Times story.
Now, the Israeli story came out just a couple of weeks ago.
So he's saying he's, that guy said there is, they haven't seen the vehicles, right?
This guy, Eric Davis.
Said they've seen.
To me, it sounds like he says he did.
Yeah, we have some that they weren't made here on Earth.
He works for Aerospace Corporation, a defense contractor.
Yeah.
About retrieval of off-world vehicles.
Now, this Israeli guy, that didn't get a lot of traction because I guess people just think he's crazy.
But this was a retired, I'll have to find it here, but he's a retired Israeli Air Force guy.
Yeah.
So this is when Bob Burns is talking about science.
Like this guy, this Israeli guy sounds legit as far as title and all that stuff.
And everybody just says he's crazy.
There's a great, that great thing that Chappelle, so uh here it is uh what's the inside the actor studio
talks about martin short right he's like they call you crazy like so they don't understand you
they just call you crazy yeah and like so i think about that a lot like and it's in everything where
you're like i'm not saying this is again this he might be crazy and that's the whole point of this
but he might not be and with the titles and to go back with
the peer review and the sign like all this kind of stuff is you have all this where you're it's
like they're like don't be crazy dude that guy's crazy and you're like we don't know if that guy's
crazy i don't know who this guy is i don't know what he does i don't get it no one's like you
know so it's like and if and when i think of that thing that Chappelle says, anytime I hear someone, I say everybody's crazy too.
But I'm not saying I'm above any of this.
But when someone tells me something is crazy or someone's crazy, and unless I feel it or be like this, I would like, I don't know.
I'd like to see.
I'd like to see if he's crazy.
But that's a very easy way to dismiss someone.
He's crazy.
He's a lunatic.
Yeah.
Don't even listen to him.
I always think anytime I don't believe something, I always have to remind myself,
somebody smarter than me disagrees with me on that topic.
I mean, that's almost always the case.
Yeah.
There are smart people on the other side of every issue.
So you might have your nose in the air and look down on people that believe in UFOs,
but that dude that dude right
there is probably smarter than most people yeah you know he is a former head of israel israel's
defense ministry space direction i guess is what and he says that we have agreement this just came
out a couple weeks ago we have agreements that have been signed between species between um aliens
and the u.s government he's israeli but he says aliens and the U.S. government.
He's Israeli, but he says it's the U.S. government
because I guess we're number one.
And we have an underground base in the depth of Mars.
We have an underground base in the depth of Mars
where there's American astronauts
and alien representatives.
And he says President Trump was aware
of the extraterrestrial existence
and has been on the verge of revealing information,
but was asked not to in order to prevent mass hysteria.
I bet Trump negotiated a good deal.
I can't wait if he doesn't.
Just let it out.
Do you think there'd be mass hysteria?
I mean, we've proven that this stuff's out there and people don't care.
They do care. It's, again, like this is that the stuff's out there and people don't care. They do care.
It's, again, like this is, it's not out there.
And if they wanted this to be the number one story that you hear about,
think about every time that they complain about or they say something about Trump,
imagine that's an alien.
How much information that is.
So when you look at your phone, it's just news is popping up, right?
Think about COVID.
So how scared we
are of all these cases and they keep just telling us more and more cases and more and more cases
if that was more and more like alien life form was just popping up and you're like 500 like more
how much more scared of that covid is like it's a disease we have diseases we can all wrap our
head around diseases if it's like aliens you're gonna you're
gonna what are you gonna do you can't do anything i mean they can just land and i don't blow your
helmet like i don't it doesn't it doesn't matter i guess that's right because it does you know
disease deadly and everything but it's not gonna disrupt no one's logging no one's grabbing a hold
of these ufo stories because I,
I mean,
we're talking about this in a joking way and I can't wrap my head around it.
Like it being real.
I want it.
You know,
you think like it's crazy,
but yeah,
you can't wrap your head around,
dude,
what are they going to look like?
What are they doing?
Can they fly as,
can they just fly in the air?
That's kind of crazy to think like there's,
if that,
say if that guy is true there's either nothing
or there's something yeah so it's either nothing and this is the world we know it and we live in
this world and then you know it's a boring world that we've already done everything i'm not saying
it's boring at all but if there's aliens that means the stuff you see in movies is people flying.
Aliens, they can fly.
They have aircrafts that don't.
One of them has a water one, one going in the water.
That Tic Tac one?
Yeah.
I didn't mention that.
I never caught on to that until I read the story this time. They said the first thing they saw when they went to investigate it was the water was swirling,
and then they could see a shadow of it in the water and then next thing you know is above it
some people think ufos are hiding underwater in our oceans they they can go what i watched
someone said it's like a hundred knots or something like it was faster than no one not
huh i don't know what's it not i don't know either but it seems like a lot it's a hundred
of them it did sound pretty fast. Yeah.
How much is a knot?
Yeah, we'll do the research here.
How hot is an oven?
How hot is a...
I feel like I used to know knots.
You said it with confidence.
You could know 100 knots.
Yeah.
Well, I think 100 knots is a lot.
100 knots is 115 miles per hour.
So that's, I mean...
Underwater.
Okay.
Oh, underwater is different. Underwater. All right. So through water... I mean... Underwater. Okay. Oh, underwater is different.
Underwater.
So through water...
I think my minivan could go 100 knots.
Yeah.
Yes.
How fast can the, say, submarine underwater?
What's the fastest thing that can go underwater?
And they think they can go faster than this.
That luxury hotel can go...
Yeah, it goes up and down.
Yeah.
How far down are we now?
US nuclear-powered submarines can go yeah it goes up and down yeah how far down are we now u.s nuclear powered submarines can go
a little faster than 23 miles per hour or 20 knots so it's five times faster than a nuclear
subway so knots are basically the same as miles per hour like what they're close enough what an
absolute just trying to sound like you're doing something different yep so driving a boat's like driving a
car you're like i mean it's basically the same things i find an airplane yeah it's probably
the same that's what aaron says find an airplane the same find a boat you can't operate both the
same now my point was that the the basic the basics of them the idea is the same but they're
just two different disciplines if one stops you put
a torpedo 200 dots if this okay if this guy's right and these aliens came from some star
millions and billions and billions mile away i love that the fact we saw we need a halfway point
how about mars which is you know that's what i've been to trump negotiate we'll meet you but we're
not going past mars yeah that's hilarious i mean yeah yeah because you we can't we haven't got
there yet maybe maybe that's the thing we're like look we'll meet you but we can't go past mars
but they're like that's not fair dude i'm going like 98 of the way yeah you're only going to yeah
he's like well that's the deal that's the deal. That's the deal. Well,
I think they're moving
so much quicker.
I think you'd meet here.
Yeah.
He's saying they'd meet somewhere.
He says we have
an underground base on Mars
where there's American astronauts
and aliens
that are working on stuff.
That's the part
that's hard to believe.
Not that it's not all
hard to believe,
but that's where I quit.
So people are on Mars.
This guy's saying that.
By the way, that I got, and just so you know which episode we recorded it,
if you listened to the Christmas episode, I got made fun of.
But apparently.
But I mentioned this on that episode.
People are on Mars.
I mentioned this to defend you on that one.
So, yeah, it's just funny that we'd go.
He'd come all the way. we'll meet you but we're
not going past mars it's like the idea of you know and that's like bigfoot okay you know we
talk about it and it's like it's you know this guy believes in i believe in everything in the
sense because it's fun it this is way more fun than just going hey y'all want to talk about how
they don't exist there's there's nothing to talk. Right? So it's a lot funner to think this.
We're seeing some kind of stuff.
If there's aliens, then maybe we are on Mars.
That opens that door.
That opens everything.
Right.
To be like, you don't know what we, I mean, what if we got one of their ships and they
can go, we can get you there.
Uh-huh.
I mean, I don't know if they taught, it's like, are they?
Some people believe that the crash in Roswell, we collected technology that's allow us to advance so much in the 20th century, in 21st century, because we've re-engineered it.
We reverse engineered it.
And that's how we've learned to do things.
From the microwave oven to other just stuff we use all the time.
So the Roswell thing is like the beginning of all that stuff well the
roswell crash is the one where people said we collected their spaceships their aliens you know
if you believe that and then they took it to area 51 maybe and then microwaves started after that
yeah so like a big technology jump started after well the second half of the 20th century a big technology jump started after Roswell? Well, the second half of the 20th century, a big technology jump.
Computers, phones, stuff like that.
That's funny.
Nuclear bombs.
There's like microwaves.
When was the microwave invented?
After Roswell.
70s, right?
Wow.
I just remember in American Hustle, they had, in the movie,
microwaves had just come out.
And they called them science ovens
because they just couldn't wrap their head around these things are they could cook something in two
minutes yeah it doesn't make sense i don't understand it yeah and you can immediately
open it and put your hand in and be fine i know yeah pretty crazy pretty crazy tevo
they had it on the spaceship they had tevo yeah they caught a dvr but yeah i'm just
uh it's pretty crazy yeah like it is funny that so all this could come down to roswell
so we get their technology and then we just so they handed it out to us which is nice yeah
i think they crashed by accident and then we just. No, I know, but the government. Oh. Oh, yeah, they shared the wealth.
It's not like the government can eat Hot Pockets and we can't.
Right.
And we're like, golly, they won't give us any.
He's like, how'd you cook your dinner?
It took one minute.
Why are you all handing that stuff out, man?
Dude, where could we be if there was no Roswell?
We'd just be on a horse still.
I think we had cars before
roswell we have to go back to horses i don't think cars would have worked gonna go backwards i think
we were probably at a point where it's like i don't know if this car thing's gonna take off
yeah and then roswell happened microwaves cars get a little faster. Right. Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa.
People just started.
They go, are we going to be dealing with cars?
And he goes, I don't know.
I don't know.
But he goes, I mean, people are just starting to stop, say, whoa.
And we're going to have to go right back to horses, is what you're telling me.
It's right when people are finally, whoa.
Whoa.
people are finally whoa can i ask a larger overarching question that maybe that people that people might be wondering okay in general what is the government's motivation
to withhold this information what is their motivation to if they have evidence of aliens
to not share that
with the American people? What do you think
their motivations are for doing that? I think it's
power.
I think power
is a gigantic... You got everybody
at your control.
If you... I'm guessing
if you reveal something
that crazy,
everything we've ever known and been trained to know is
over if an alien popped down on cnn and it wasn't i mean it'd be like is this real is it like you
know you always have the bigfoot tapes and it's enough that you don't believe it if it is 100
proof your government is pointless like what i mean you're i mean someone but i mean in head you're
like it's all for everybody for themselves some would argue religion would be pointless
yeah you mean you are all every everything the government doesn't do they have a motivation to
keep religions no i mean they might have a motivation to do the opposite yeah yeah um uh
you don't think that if it like independence day you don't think if aliens come
that we're gonna we're gonna bond like together as a as a country as a country as a world as a
world uh if they attacked us then yeah we could but i mean i think now it's like why would you
i mean it is power in a sense but it is it's such a large thing for everybody to know
that I'm not saying if I was not in the if I was ever president and you got told this information
you might be like all right I get why you don't say it it's too much yeah and if it happens then
it's complete chaos say if alien there are aliens then it is like then all religion could be like
well there's no religion then maybe people think there's absolutely now proof of religion
if you could believe that you know it's like anything's true but if there's
100 proof of aliens everything is uh everything's like kind of up in the air and everybody's belief
systems for thousands of years are over yeah everybody it's over so if you're doing that
and then you've like a police officer's like going to give you a ticket you're like what
what does it even matter this stupid i'm not taking your ticket yeah there's
aliens i'm not taking your what am i going to pay this it's it almost like i wonder if it would send
back to uh like would be back to old like you go back to horses back to horses but you're back to
just like fending for your own just self-hunting you're back into all this stuff because you're just ransacked.
What's the point of money?
What's the point of anything?
It's just like would be just like you almost got to be fed it slowly
so then you can wrap your head around it.
So Donald Trump Jr. did an interview with his dad
for some Father's Day thing this year.
He asked him about, you going to release anything on UFOs?
And Trump said, I know some very interesting things about Roswell.
And then he said, well, you're going to release it?
He said, I'll have to think about that one.
It's a lot.
It would be a lot.
It would be a lot.
The government says for Roswell,
there was a, it was a balloon that they sent up to use to detect Soviet nuclear test.
And a book came out a few years ago.
I saw this lady on the daily show.
She says that Soviet leader,
Joseph Stalin had child,
child size aviators,
some who had deformities and they made them look like aliens to try to crash
in America to cause mass hysteriaia much like the war of the worlds
yeah what about when those those aliens are attacking in the movie war of the worlds
they're attacking us yes then it is mass hysteria it's all for you know it's like the government is
fighting them i mean i guess you'd want the government to fight.
You'd want an army to fight them.
But I think it would, I think it opens the door for, you know,
are you going to go put in your credit card for gas and be like,
are you going to just get it? And like, I mean, you know, you got to get your gas.
But like, are you going to go to the grocery store and wait in line for bread?
You're going to just run out the door.
Are you going to go, I mean, there's no rules.
You know what I mean?
Like,
so all the basic rules,
like,
you know,
there's rules on the fact
that you want the army
to fight them
and stuff like that,
but you want the,
like if the police is like,
you can't,
can't steal that.
You're like,
yeah,
you should be
fighting the aliens.
So you think mass hysteria
and the world,
the,
starts crumbling kind of
as far as the system
yeah i mean the system's it's all it's all uh i mean maybe the system would come back together
but at first it's a lot yeah you don't think it's a lot oh yeah i do i do for sure i mean yeah it's
it's not you know we're not you know we meeting next week, talking podcasts? And this week we're talking about blankets.
And then we're like,
write that down.
Yeah.
Blankets is good.
Good episode.
We might do a blanket episode,
the blanket episode,
right after aliens were revealed.
And then I,
but I think,
you know,
Brian Reagan, I have to joke about intelligence.
It's always says intelligent life. What if unintelligent? Just, well, let's go. But I think, you know, didn't Brian Regan have the joke about intelligence?
It always says intelligent life.
What if unintelligent?
Just, boy, what's going on?
They're like, just a dumb alien comes barreling in.
Two plus two is chicken.
Yeah, you're like, all right.
All right.
Because it is.
Why would they say any life would be?
But I guess they're talking about parasites or something. or yeah like if you plant life or something yeah i still know what you want to be like is there there's not any plant life but i'm saying if we found like through a telescope or
research that there's plant life on another planet that wouldn't be intelligent life but it'd be life
right yeah not any kind of animal would be intelligent life right yeah
yeah and animals intelligent life yeah anything that can think yeah yeah
some ways obviously if they can make it to here they're gonna be probably pretty smart
yeah they're gonna just obliterate us if they make it here you think we're smarter than
than on the planet i think we have more heart. I think we have more spirit.
That's true, because I don't think they do.
That's the scary part.
They operate on a different...
Yeah, they're probably not even a carbon-based life form, dude.
They've just downloaded their consciousness onto some sort of device.
Some people think they're us from the future.
What?
Aliens are?
Yeah.
So you're going to have you come... you still got that jacket worn out they come back they have times are back at the holders you're like they're not even there anymore
and it's just like it's a little he got jacket still got the pin jerry he's still got the jacket
don't give any identifying characteristics about yourself and i forget and i'll wear this down
there we got out of titan's jersey it was eddie george no the so they're always described as
having it looks like a space uniform.
Seinfeld has that joke.
The uniform went all in the, what is it, space?
V-shaped.
V-shaped.
One piece with the boots.
I would love it.
I would love to have a uniform like that.
Like Dr. Dre?
Yeah.
Just wear the same jacket every day.
Zip it up.
All right.
Sorry.
Go ahead. yeah just wear the same jacket every day zip it up all right sorry go ahead uh they're described
as having larger heads which scientists say we're growing larger heads over a million new years
because our brain's getting bigger right they seem to come they say they communicate this is
what people have been abducted to say they communicate with each other without making
sounds so like elon musk is talking about the neural link where the implant in your brain so you can
just communicate without talking so there's some people that think that it's just us from the
future coming back to do some just mess with us yeah uh but like us like human beings yeah not
literally us i thought i meant like us they thought the well i'm sure well it's
like another like it's another world you know like is there another is there alternate universe of
there's a there's a there's a me on another world that's doing the opposite of me that's what i was
thinking but it's like humans coming from the future coming back to look at the monkeys what
dumb monkeys what would the opposite of you be in this other planet?
Bizarro Nate.
What's Bizarro Nate doing right now?
I don't know.
He's probably pretty smart, right?
So went to college.
Not a problem getting in.
Yeah, I don't know.
Improv, maybe.
YouTube star. Herov, maybe. YouTube star.
He's a YouTuber.
YouTube improv star.
Yeah.
You know.
Making way more money.
Got 2 million subscribers on YouTube.
Just talking about breaking down pins phones or whatever electronic like
unboxing doing a lot of unboxing videos yeah my alternate me still second base
so ufos really took off and like your alternate is who i think you're becoming that we're figuring
out you're not as smart as we think you are i would have said an alternate would be a dumber version of you but
these past couple podcasts i'm like your answer actually might be the actual secret genius that
we talk about i'm gonna step it up so there's all these government agencies that started in the
1900s to investigate ufos project blue book you guys heard
of that uh a little bit kelly blue book i've never heard of it it's there's shows about it's the most
popular one it was from the 50s to the 70s but there was all these different ones and they always
come back with like every time somebody spots a ufo and these are pilots they're like i chased this thing one of them's guy chased for 27 minutes and they all have these incredible detailed stories and
they always say uh they'll say it was a weather balloon birds sometimes birds sometimes a
reflection sometimes they said you just saw jupiter um do you think anybody's ever had an
encounter with ufo and then they describe it that way and
then they're like you know what i bet that was it i bet it was probably just birds yeah you think
there was i don't think anybody's ever gonna be like i bet that was it you're right birds i could
see reflection for real like that and that'd be the most embarrassing well there was a pilot that
uh they said he he was upside down and didn't really you know how sometimes they get turned
around and he's like there's something there's coming something coming that they said he was upside down and didn't realize. You know how sometimes they get turned around?
And he's like, there's something coming after me.
And he was getting closer, but it was a reflection in the water.
So it would get closer too.
And they're like, I can't shake this thing.
It was just him.
And wait, was he going to, he almost died?
He did die.
He did die?
Yeah.
Oh.
But they think he was seeing himself, his reflection in the water.
And so he was upside down going down.
He thought he was going up.
That's the only way the guy dies before I laugh at what he did.
I told him about a mass murder from Valle State, and he almost lost it.
Well, that was hilarious. He goes, yeah, that's more.
Everybody wrap their head around something like that.
That's more. more yeah that is funny
to you he's like and then he's upset because his water you're like yeah he died that's his uh
two kids surviving uh anyway aaron go ahead he let aaron really get it get going yeah so this
one guy i could see a reflection though for sure yeah like you could just not you have something
that you know and then you're up there and it's the glare and you can see that glare moves
and you're like, golly, that's, look at this thing.
Yeah.
This one guy spotted one in Washington state, got real chirpy about it.
It was telling everybody that would listen and he got him.
He says, does it say chirpy in the thing?
No, that's me.
Okay.
He's just telling a lot of people.
This is the peer review, some science journal.
He said so bad. thing no that's me okay but he's just telling a lot of people this is the peer review journal this guy washington saw one he wouldn't shut up about it again what is it what do they say about being they say chirpy or anything well i just i don't have the whole article here but he was
telling a lot of people about it okay then a man in a dark suit shows up and warns him not to talk about it.
Yeah.
And that was the first case of men in black.
But since then, it's been a lot of people claiming that they were visited by men in dark suits who threatened and warned them to not keep talking about the UFO.
They say they're a secret government agency who's been given the task of suppressing evidence of UFOs.
I would think that they would just not have to tell you to not talk about it.
You can be crazy.
That person's crazy.
And so it doesn't matter.
Everybody can say there's UFOs right now, and you're just a crazy person. Yeah.
Yeah, it's almost more beneficial to them to just have a person who's seen as crazy
openly talking about it.
Yeah.
Because then that
discredits the whole oh yeah idea don't they do that like plant people misinformation to well the
men in black could be as easy as just going yeah we go do that a little bit we have a man in black
go do it and that's actually this setup yeah is you know we have a man in black come do it
and then you that person goes a man in black came do it, and then you, that person goes, a man in black came and did this.
And then they go, you ask the government, they're like, are you insane?
Yeah.
Once you see a movie, you see the movie.
There's a movie called Men in Black.
We made a movie about it.
Yeah.
We wouldn't send someone all in the same suits.
We want you to know we're not coming.
We wouldn't have sent Will Smith to come tell you.
And you go, yeah, that's, it's stupid, right?
And they'd be that easy to, you go, yeah.
I mean, do you believe that now?
Do you believe it?
You know, obviously, I probably believe in everything.
Do I believe that particular story?
Men in black are UFOs or aliens.
I believe there are aliens, yeah.
Yeah.
Bigfoot, no.
So if you believe in aliens, would you come down to Bigfoot? Would you go? I'm not opposed to Bigfoot no So if you believe in aliens Would you come down to Bigfoot
I'm not opposed to Bigfoot
I'm open to the idea
I think I'd be a little less surprised
Than the average person if it came out
I think that's where I fall
I think that's just somebody in that guy's family
Just being like hey can you stop
The origin of little
green men uh came from a case in hopkinsville kentucky uh that they said these uh people in
the community of kelly outside of hopkinsville five adults and seven children arrived at the
hopkinsville police station claiming that small alien creatures from a spaceship were attacking
their farmhouse and they've been holding them off with gunfire for nearly four hours.
And they claimed they'd been shooting at 12 to 15 short,
dark figures who repeatedly popped up at the doorway or peered into the
window.
But,
uh,
they went investigated and they think it's most likely it was great horn
owls.
Oh,
interesting.
But didn't you, uh, I feel like when you and i talked about the
story nate is this yeah i think did i go to i did a i shot a pilot yeah and uh for this show
that the idea of it was to host we'd go to all these places and like cover this stuff i don't
i remember my memory so bad and we went went to Hopkinsville because the eclipse was happening.
And the best place to see it was there.
In Hopkinsville, yeah.
In Hopkinsville.
And so when the eclipse was coming, they had all this alien stuff.
So they thought for sure that the eclipse was going to come back.
And I mean, it's pretty crazy to think where this place was happening it was like so many years almost exactly after uh after the this thing whatever happened in
hopkinsville and then the eclipse the best place to see the eclipse in the world was hopkinsville
kentucky really yeah and so everybody was going to. And then we went there and shot a pilot.
I mean, investigators say that people were probably drunk and they were fighting off owls.
But it's a very famous case.
They're the first ones to say little green men.
Most alien descriptions are gray.
Yeah.
Not green.
Not green.
So they say they're, most say they are gray.
Yeah.
I got to stand here. Like 73% of American abductions say they're gray.
What is it they say?
What's an abduction?
Like, so they say they go up and they think.
Yeah.
So the first case, the most famous case in America, Barney and Betty Hill.
They were driving in New Hampshire.
They were abducted in 1961.
It was the most publicized report of alien abduction in the United
States. Psychiatrists later suggested
that the abduction was hallucination
brought on by stress of being an
interracial couple in the early
1960s. Although both
of them say, we hadn't had any stress about it.
Everybody's cool about it.
Wow. Their granddaughter is a UFC
fighter. Oh, really? What's her name?
I think it's like Anita Hill or something like that.
That's Clarence Thomas' accuser.
I think it's something like that.
I've heard of Anita Hill.
Maybe they did.
That's stressful.
So they say they were fully abducted in, where was that?
This is in New Hampshire.
And then how long were they gone?
It says two days here.
And they don't remember,
they remember it?
They had to be hypnotized
and then she had dreams
about it and they took
them on the ship
and they,
you know,
did physical examinations
and stuff like that.
The first reported case,
though,
this guy in Brazil,
he's a farmer,
he said that they came down
and he tried to run on his tractor,
but they stopped it. They were wearing gray coveralls and a helmet. They didn't speak.
They made noises like barks or yelps. And then when he put them on the spaceship,
he was stripped of his clothes. And then a very beautiful humanoid came into the room.
She was very attractive. and she had small pointed chin
and large blue cat-like eyes.
Hair on her head was long and white,
although her underarm hair was red.
And they were forced to have sex together.
And then she rubbed her belly.
She didn't kiss him.
She nipped his chin.
Then she rubbed her belly and pointed up,
which he says
means she was going to raise their child in space his wife claims not seeing anything weird that
night i mean so she she pointed it up and he goes oh you're gonna raise our kid in space
he goes that makes sense i mean you're the mother and And, you know, I mean, that same lolz down here, you know what I mean?
Like, just straight up, he's just level-headed.
I hope he's a level-headed guy.
And he goes, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I get it.
Wouldn't even, I'd love, I mean, do you think I'd ever get a, you know,
and he just points down?
Yeah.
Do you think I'll ever?
And she goes, I don't know, maybe in the, you know, middle we can meet.
But he goes, but I just, he goes, goes it's just gonna be so hard to just be you
know it's just i don't know it's like it's not gonna be like your normal weekend every other
weekend right and he's like she's like we don't even have weekends yeah you know and he's like
yeah i get it how long is that kid gonna live she's like thousands of years you know i mean
and then he's like well why can't I keep him for my 100?
That's about 80 years, 50 years left.
Yeah.
I can't see him, see my boy.
They're having this whole cop out just by pointing.
I can't see my boy.
They're yelping at each other.
He just starts.
You already know.
She's like, all of it was just immediately afterwards.
She's just like, I'm late late i'm raising the kid up there this is all in one second like usually it's like months after and
she's like they get done i'm like raising him upstairs don't tell my father and you're like
what how can we do it down here? It just happened.
And you already know, he just died.
He's dead?
I love, you know how all these movies,
they have some super smart scientist
that has to figure out a way to communicate with aliens
because no one knows their language.
This one's just yelping and making a sound.
They call him the Bargatze family.
We can't figure out.
And y'all just crack it. get it uh start laughing you're like no i'm not gonna say what he said but
he's there that's funny to be like that guy just cheated on his wife but it's pretty good
coverage right there to go just make something up like that yeah if you can believe like if he
believes it that much
she just pointed up what she looked like she had white hair i found a red hair on your shirt she
had red armpit hair was red they don't shave like you loser women down here dude hair doesn't matter
to us he started saying us hair doesn't matter to us. In other places.
She's like, us?
Us now?
You're one of them now.
I am one of them.
My blood is in their blood.
Yeah, my boy is going to be. My boy.
Is up there.
My boy's up there.
Yeah.
Look at these dumb idiots down here.
He's pointing at his own children.
Look at these idiots that have been raised out here these kids are
down here my kids he talks to her only not even his wife you don't talk about my boy
it's my heart my heart is my boy up there and i'm gonna go see him every that's how the touchdown celebration
my boy and he goes oh is that god you're like no i have my son lives with an alien his alien mom
went up there and he didn't break it down just regular oh you're talking about praying to god
or something he goes nah my my baby mom is an alien. And she, he lives
up in there, wherever that is.
Wherever up is.
Like the clouds, we'll go farther than that.
Go out and something ridiculous. Keep going.
Yeah, keep going. I see him on the clouds
on the weekends.
You know.
That's very, very funny.
This guy's a genius. Do you guys, have you seen the movie fire in the sky no it's uh have you seen it i don't know i feel no i don't think so it came out in the early
90s uh travis walton this guy one of the most popular cases he was a doctor for five days
couldn't find for five days and then he showed up
and said he was abducted he's a logger and they came down and took him and did all these probing
of him and stuff like that but national choir was also having a contest for the best ufo story of
that year and he won five thousand dollars he and his buddy so and he went on a game show like 30
years later and did a
polygraph test
I forget what the show
was called
it was one of those
truth or not truth
and he failed
oh that's not good
so
but he was one of the
most famous UFO cases
and
like truth or lie
something like that
is it called
truth or not truth
is that the name of a show
I don't know
truth or not truth
what's the show called
truth or not not we're not
telling the truth that's a clunky name huh for a tv show so you get abducted yeah one of you get
abducted you come back i mean what's your what what do you how do you tell people how do you
tell people because i always think no matter what these people they always come across as crazy a little bit but i like to think there's a way to
tell people without seeming like a like an insane person like what what's your what's
your first step who do you tell first you tell your wife first i'm guessing yeah i mean yeah i
guess i mean unless you're like that guy and you're like, I don't know how to tell you this, but I've had a relationship.
I have,
there's someone else.
And then your wife's like,
is she here?
You're like,
no,
she's,
she's up there.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think you have to tell your,
your family and some friends.
You. Yeah. How do you go public with it?
This podcast.
Yeah.
You just come on the name.
Hey, if you've been abducted, email nateland at neighborgutty.com.
We'll let you go public.
We'll take you public.
Yeah, I think you have to go.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if you.
It's not easy. I think like people maybe go a little too hard on these people because it's
not an easy thing to,
to reveal that to the world.
It's not as hard as you probably think,
but it's,
no,
I'm joking.
Yeah.
I know that's very,
that Netflix show we all watch.
Yeah.
I mean the unsolved mysteries.
Yeah.
Those people.
Yeah.
I think right now it's a lot easier than the other.
Like, you know, right now if you're like oh i came i i was abducted i told about it in 2020 the guy in
1970 was like come on give me a break like you know they i got shot at when i said it like people
might ruin my whole life yeah 2020 i mean you i mean you probably have your own show uh-huh
that's fair but it's yeah it would yeah I don't, but I don't, you know.
I don't know if you even would believe it sometimes in your own head.
You could think, your mind is pretty crazy.
That's what they talk about, your mind playing tricks.
Like, you know, the idea of your mind can do, make up just anything.
I think that about these people who are in comas and they say they died
and went to heaven. They write these books. I don't
want to discredit them, but sometimes I do think
years and years and years later, do they start thinking
maybe did I just hallucinate all that?
So you're discrediting them.
It's crossed my mind.
I don't want to discredit them, but
I don't believe that they did.
I don't want to step on anybody's beliefs,
but here we go.
The Voyager space probes are the first two man-made objects
that we've sent out of our solar system.
They're in interstellar space.
And they'll travel, if uninterrupted,
for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.
And on there, we put some stuff so when aliens find it, they
will know what we're all about.
They sent sounds of
Earth, including the sounds of whales,
a baby crying, waves
breaking on a shore, and music
including Mozart, Chuck Berry,
and someone
I can't pronounce here.
Who?
Do we even know the last one?
I think it's a classical composer, right?
Valya Balkanska.
What's Mozart?
He's not classical?
He is.
We know how to say Mozart.
I know, but so the third one is a classical?
Well, there might have been more.
That's just one.
There's a lot of music on here.
So we got some Bach.
We got some Mozart. We got some Mozart.
A lot of Mozart.
And then Johnny Be Good by Chuck Berry, like you said.
Pretty crazy.
Greetings in 55 different languages.
Hey, you don't throw Britney Spears on there or something?
This went out in the 70s.
Yeah.
So maybe 59.
Puts a, I don't know, some Cher or somebody like that you don't throw share you don't throw like
we also do some other stuff we're also fun you don't do that you just give them like classical
you go by the way we have a pretty good time but he's like i know you're gonna hear this music of
just this classical music what is that one image here's's what you're hearing. Oh, that's a foot. Okay. You're going to hear classical music,
waves crashing,
babies crying.
And we know we're actually a decent
time, though. How about that? How about you
throw some celebrating?
Here's some of the pictures
that they included. There's some
fun pictures. We got some pictures from the Olympics.
Got a teacher teaching
a kid something. Fish market, a little x-ray. I mean, we got some fun pictures. We got some pictures from the Olympics. Got a teacher teaching the kid something.
Fish market,
little x-ray.
I mean,
we got some fun stuff.
Oh,
we can do x-ray and they're like,
these idiots have bones.
How stupid is that?
Yeah.
They still have bones.
They still have bones with a bunch of,
oh,
you can see the bones?
We got pictures of our cars.
Like that's going to impress them. Oh, wow. What is that? That's neat. We have pictures of our cars. That's going to impress them.
Oh, wow.
What is that?
Traffic?
You're like, y'all get stuck in traffic.
What are you doing?
Well, we all had to go somewhere.
What year is it down there?
The same year it is here, I guess.
The airplanes?
They're going to get what we're all about.
I just think it's very cool that thousands and thousands and thousands of years from now.
It is cool to think about somebody finding this and then just trying to piece together the story of us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would think if someone finds it in a thousand years, they figure this out pretty quick. Yeah. I would think if someone finds it in a thousand years, they figure us out pretty quick.
Yeah.
I mean, we're talking about this on airwaves that are going to just everybody's cars
and they're watching on TVs at home.
You know how far advanced we are?
In a thousand years, if those doofuses can't trace back technology,
then where are they at?
Well, maybe we crash into their planet and they're dumber than us.
Oh.
Oh.
Like our planet hits, Earth hits their planet.
No, the space probe hits their planet.
Oh.
But then it's just a bunch of, you know, yelping and.
Yeah.
I want to play this sound.
This sound that's on the Voyager. So an alien finds
this. This is what they're going to hear.
Right.
Is that a cat?
It's a guy's baby. It's a baby crying
and a mother consoling him.
I mean, you're
not going to know what that is.
Well, that one alien is that
took that guy's baby up there.
Yeah.
Oof, that's fair.
Sorry.
Yeah, and the volcanoes, earthquake, thunder, wild dog.
Chimpanzee.
Chimpanzee.
Mud pots.
You're really making us look good.
I don't even know what a mud pot is.
It's a pot made of mud.
Oh.
I'm guessing.
I'm just thinking of pottery, like ghost.
Yeah. Yeah, we're giving them something to go that's what's going on down there none of these idiots uh they're gonna dissect
the like the you know what we send it on what is it all on it's just you know it's on our
it's voyager one and voyager two. There's two different spacecraft that just been set out for 30, 40 years now.
And it just keeps going further and further out of space.
And they think it'll finally...
We'll lose all connection with it by 2025.
But it'll still just keep going.
So we know where it's at right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's still functioning.
Yeah.
It's kind of amazing. It's a golden record. And it's just like a yeah yeah it's still functioning yeah it's kind of a golden record
and it's just like a wreck of vinyl that just plays how do they play it my i think i remember
reading i don't see it here but it's just they set it to where if somebody opens it up it'll
just start playing yeah so they won't have to know how a vinyl works i don't even think i could
get a record to play yeah i don't know how it works we do think
everybody in space would be smarter than us that is pretty crazy like you just automatically go
well they got to be smarter than us yeah and if there's a chance what if we are the smartest ones
and it's just animals so basically just like animals out there so you go out like a dog
a dog pulls up on a spaceship you You're like, oh, God.
And then just, you know, and he's like looking at the window.
And you're like, he doesn't open the door.
He's trying to get like a, yeah, unlock the door. He can't unlock the door from the inside.
Unlock it from the inside.
He goes, he's not getting it.
He goes, press the, he goes, just try to get him to the,
just try to get him to walk on the button that opens it.
And then you just, and then you have to run back and forth going,
hey, just try to get him to run on the windowsill.
You know?
And he's just in like a high powered, somehow that ship got made,
but he's, he didn't make it.
Yeah.
We used to send monkeys into space.
That's true.
You know, maybe they just put dogs.
Are they still up there?
Yeah, they're on Mars.
Monkeys are?
Yeah.
Why didn't they put one on the Voyager?
It's only been 30 years.
Put a bunch of bananas on there and say,
there you go.
Just have fun.
Have at it.
Just send the monkey out to...
All that stuff would be just tore up so then it's just
there's just a dead monkey in the voyager so an alien finds it they're like this is who they were
i guess i think the monkey's still alive and just kind of you know it's a lot of bananas in his own
world now he just has he'd make belief scenarios oh hello he's just talking to did you have a good
day today how was your day today my day was fine
he's just making up yeah that's where things happen so some people think aliens help build
the great pyramids in egypt you guys heard this yes they are so precise that even by today's
building standards we would have a really hard time reconstructing these. A triangle?
Even in today's time.
We have the world trade.
Have you seen what they're doing in Dubai?
These buildings have thousands of floors
that are like the footprint of my house,
and they go up just thousands,
and they don't tip over.
Yeah, we're having a rough time with the pyramid, though.
Come on.
Try it.
That is
someone trying to overly
brag that
doesn't...
It's a guy that
works at the pyramids.
He does tours. He goes, you know, they can
even do this today.
I can
draw... My hotel looks better than this.
It was
millions of precisely whom stones weighing at least two tons each.
But the exact geographic coordinates for the Great Pyramid itself is 29.9792458.
The speed of light is 299792458.
Exactly the same?
Yep.
Sounds like a textbook coincidence, in my opinion.
That's a lot of numbers to be exact.
That's a lot of numbers to be exact, and our main thing is there.
You know what I mean?
You're not at a 7-Eleven going,
you can't believe there's a 7-Eleven right here.
You're at the main thing.
You think this is our main thing as a pyramid?
A triangle?
Apparently, these lunatics think we can't ever do it again.
So, yeah, right now, these triangles are the best we got.
Yeah.
I think these triangles are, you know.
The seventh wonder of the world, isn't it?
The theory goes that aliens from the future traveled back in time
and built the pyramid at 29.9792458 on purpose as a clue, perhaps.
Let us know.
To let us know that, hey, we can build stuff and we build stuff quick.
Aliens are basically trying to get contracting work and they go, you want something done?
You want it done quick?
Well, looky there.
We built a triangle.
We built a triangle.
Three of them.
How many are there?
Yeah.
Three?
Those are three main ones. There's more. How many are there? Yeah. Three? Those are three main ones.
There's more.
Those are the three great ones.
Can you do a rectangle?
Listen, I don't want to brag, but I've done triangles.
Yeah.
So we've kind of figured it out.
Yeah, if it was like three circles sitting, like, you know,
just rolling around Egypt, I'd be like, okay, well, that is crazy.
Have you been to Stonehenge? like, okay, that is crazy.
Have you been to Stonehenge?
Yeah, a couple times.
No.
I can't remember.
He's traveled a lot of places.
I feel like we talked about that.
Stonehenge, have I been to Stonehenge? No, I've never been to Stonehenge.
People think that's aliens too, right?
They used to.
I do want to go see this stuff.
Where is Stonehenge?
It's in England.
Never.
Never been.
Never been to England.
It's again, it's stones that are so many tons and they're not even from around there.
So how they got them there, people have always wondered how these stones got to this place.
Yeah.
So nothing could move.
Oh, they're being like, how could they get moved there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they've kind of, I think they figured it out now, but.
How?
We couldn't even do that now, man.
Couldn't even lift them now.
How did they figure it out?
I think, I mean, I didn't look this up, but I think I saw something recently that they
found a place not too far from there.
I don't know.
Yeah.
That they think they somehow will.
I mean, if you have wheels, you can bring a lot of stuff.
Oh, like a wheel.
Like a wheel. Yeah. I say like a wheel. Like a wheel.
Yeah.
I say that weird.
I say it too.
Weird.
How close do they let you get to that?
If you go and visit, they probably don't let you get anywhere near it, right?
I don't think so.
I think you can't.
I mean, you can't like run through it and run around it, obviously.
But...
You know, when I went to Iraq and we went to Abraham, Prophet Abraham,
the house he lived at.
Yeah.
And a guy would take us there,
and they were trying to get the Pope to come bless it
because it was before Abraham went marching through Egypt,
and it was where he lived.
And the floors are the same floors he walked on,
and the guy had to redo the stuff.
But no one's been there. So we walked on the we walked and i'm not told the guy i go dude if this
was anywhere else like you wouldn't be allowed to get within 100 feet of this yeah and you know
it's like such a historical thing and this but this guy like no one it's out in the middle there's
just so much stuff that's so historical and just right there
it's right there because you're just out in the middle of nowhere and you're like no one's coming
out there you know uh is that it yeah right there abram and islam all right it looked like that
abram's abram's house is exactly Yep. I've been there.
Yeah.
So.
If.
Yeah.
Cause that,
that thing is right next to it. What is it?
Abram is on,
you walk up those steps.
Oh,
these are like,
that was like built.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If aliens came down here though,
right here and want to communicate with us.
I want to come on the podcast.
Yeah. But wanted to have a, we had to have one spokesperson who among us is going to be the one communicating with this
alien i think i am for what reason you're not even gonna let us can we be in the room i don't
hear the questions he's gonna waste on on this alien. Like, huh?
But he's going to be asking us questions too.
Or she.
On equal opportunity.
You're already out.
You're going to be kneeling down before it.
Aaron's the brains though.
Well, I used to think so.
And I know he went to Notre Dame, but I think he got too caught up in that.
I don't think he's.
Too caught up in what? He said he went to Notre Dame.
Yeah.
You –
I think I would –
I think I'm the greatest average American, so I would need to –
If he wants to meet the U.S. of A.
Rather than meet all 320 million people, just meet –
America. Just meet your America. I should have been sent up in that Voyager. Rather than meet all 320 million people, just meet you.
Just meet your America.
I should have been sent up in that Voyager.
They should have sent me up there.
I should be sitting next to that.
I should be sitting like Forrest Gump on the bench with all that stuff sitting next to me.
And just sitting in that spaceship waiting for someone to open it.
And he goes, hi, nice to meet you.
And I come out and he goes, are you America?
I go, I am America. I'm proud of where I'm from.
And I do the Pledge of Allegiance to his face.
And then he goes, is this your music?
I go, I would never listen to that dumb music,
all the music that's on there.
I've been in this bro for 50 years never wanted to listen to it
that's how bad it is yeah and then you play some own you know then i play britney spears
i mean it's going to be millions of years before that thing is found
i mean we're just we have no idea I mean, it's technically it's found.
We know where it's at.
Right.
What I'm saying until it like runs into somebody,
it's going to be millions of years.
We don't know if it's going to run into, we don't know.
That means there's someone out there.
Or run into an object.
Right.
Or just to be far enough away to where somebody else could see it. It's going to be millions of years for us.
It's going to be a big, I know.
Imagine the millions of years and on the news is another world that's going,
we are about to get hit by some spaceship that's going to ruin Earth.
That's what's on the planet right now.
They're crying, families, the world, their world's going to end
because we just shoved a
spaceship off in space and said go maybe someone will catch it one day and then there's babies in
another world in a million years going no because it's about to crash into their world and we have
a mozart on there and a baby crying that you can't really understand.
Mud pots.
And mud pots.
What was on it
that killed half the population
on Earth?
And it just gets out.
There are places called Earth too?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how far away they are.
They didn't know.
They didn't know.
Yeah.
Earth's a popular name
for a place to be called Earth.
Yeah.
It makes sense. It makes too much sense to other places would be called Earth. Yeah, Earth's a popular name for a place to be called Earth. Right. Yeah. It makes sense.
It makes too much sense.
So other places would be called Earth.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
And then they go, oh, there are places called Earth too.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
UFOs.
We did it.
We did the UFOs.
Yep.
Was that it?
That was it, right?
There's probably way more.
Oh, yeah.
Way more.
But it all runs together after a while
yeah
yeah
that's how you handle it
it's got
it just blends in
life altering
kind of thing
I saw one
you saw one
yeah
right
we all got one
we all have one
in here
all right
we're up to another
aliens
aliens
yeah
yeah
all right everybody
thank you guys for listening
as usual comments all that stuff you're doing all the right stuff All right. We're up to another aliens. Aliens is fun. Yeah. All right, everybody. Thank you guys for listening.
As usual, comments, all that stuff.
You're doing all the right stuff.
You guys are the best.
So we love you, and we will see you next week.
Bye. Bye.
Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast.
Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify,
you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment.
Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi,
and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.
Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's
consulting and partnership with Center Street Media.
Thanks for tuning in.
Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.
Hey, I'm Jillian.
And I'm Patrick.
And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed.
If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries,
you might be interested in our show
because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching.
We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine.
We're talking the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes.
What else?
The Turpin 13.
Yes.
With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story.
The girl in the picture.
Yes.
All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends.
We're your friends now.
We're the friends you talk about that stuff with.
Yeah.
We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast.
Stitcher us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.