The Nateland Podcast - #47 US Presidents

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

This episode, we look at the history of US Presidents. Nate, Aaron, and Brian discuss topics like the smallest and largest Presidents, Andrew Jackson's numerous duels, and William Howard Taft's terrible toy idea.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] Right now Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at ALLFORM.COM/NATE allform.com/nate For our listeners Vurio is offering 20% off your first purchase and free shipping on any US orders over $75 and free returns at vuori.com/nate vuori.com/nate

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. For exceptional traction on snow and ice, trust Continental Tires Viking Contact 7 tire. And right now, get a $100 rebate with select Continental Tires. Find a Continental Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca. Hello, folks. Welcome to Nate Land. I'm Nate Bargetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. Thank you guys for being here, as always, for listening.

We just recorded this, if you're watching this, just a week before I'm gone right now. Probably just did ridiculousness. How'd it go? It went, you know, not good. I'm gone right now. Probably just did ridiculousness. How'd it go? It went, you know, not good. Hopefully it was good. And I'm out in California. That's where I'm at.

Right now. Right now. I've been on a flight to Miami. Yeah. Actually. Nice. Yeah. Depends on when they're watching it.

If they watch it, you know, are the wonderful folks that get up early and watch it. I'm probably still at home. I'm still in LA. Yeah, yeah. All right. I'll be heading to O'Fallon, Missouri, where Brian and I are headlining the same club back-to-back weekends. Yeah. Oh, wow. Brian and I are headlining the same club Back to Back Weekends Oh wow That works out If you can only make one, please come to mine

Well, I don't know Try to come to both Yeah, that'd be great Oh wow, where is it at? It's O'Fallon, Missouri, Back Door Comedy Club Just outside St. Louis Just outside St. Louis O'Fallon I'm there this weekend, Brian's the next weekend club just outside st louis yeah just outside st louis uh oh fallon all right back to back i'm

there this weekend brian's the next weekend man i'm uh they're his wedding weekend yeah oh yeah but you're i'm driving back just in time for the wedding there you go yeah i think i'm somewhere too uh i forget where i'm at i'll be going Miami. Yeah, go get – Miami's almost sold out. Yeah. The only – I want to say, as of now doing this, it might be by the time you've seen this be sold out. Hopefully be sold out. That's a tough city, isn't it, for tickets?

Yeah. Yeah, it's been tough. They get that in Naples. Naples, Florida. And they're moving along. They're plugging along. But, yeah, Florida is always a tough market, especially down there in Miami and then Naples, a little bit older, you know?

I have some friends from Nashville who are going to Naples to see you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, all right. That's cool. Need a few more of them to come. All right. Let's start, as always, with you guys' comments.

Cody Irwin. Hello, I teach middle school robotics and computer science. Because of state testing, we have a modified schedule this week, which gives us really short classes. To fill the time, I gave the students a list of podcasts curated for middle school audience. The list consists of your video games episode, a podcast about animal farts, and a short stories podcast. Most of the students chose your podcast from the list.

I told them Nate Land was a podcast I enjoy and asked if that was why they chose it. The kids said no. I just wanted to see what old people think about video games. That's it. I'll tell you what. That's pretty good. I mean, podcast about animal farts i don't with kids middle school yeah i mean that's that's tough yeah i would have probably chosen that one yeah yeah me too yeah that's uh oh i'm glad that they chose us and except you ones that show i mean the

short stories podcast i mean who could have chose that is that i don't know who is taking that one. I mean, yeah, that's a tough one to beat. It is a good to see the old folk. You're old. I know. I was just thinking that's crazy to think about. In my head, like your bit, I'm like, I think I'm like them. Yeah.

Nah, they're 15 years younger than me. Yeah. 15, 16 years. Yeah. Pretty crazy they're 15 years younger than me. Yeah. 15, 16 years. Yeah. Pretty crazy. And you're young to us. I mean, and I'm young to him. Barely.

No. To me, you're not. But to me, to you, I'm an old man. Yeah. I feel like I'm a good age, though. I can identify to some degree with your, like, why you would go out on a Monday night at midnight. I can get that. But I definitely identify now with old people,

like why they don't drive at night. Because, you know, I identify with both groups. Yeah. Yeah. The fun and not fun. Yeah. You get both worlds. I get it.

I was trying to think. I have a new joke now where I'd say that. Something about like you start seeing stuff. I forget what it is. I don't know if I want to to think. I have a new joke now where I say that. Something about like you start seeing stuff. I forget what it is. I don't know if I want to say it. Hey, I might remember it. But it's like you do get like stuff. Yeah, I don't know.

Anyway, FLF. Personality-wise, Aaron is most like Pam from The Office. Started out timid, growing into his own, and slowly becoming one of the favorites. That's pretty good. I like that they specified personality-wise as if I think you meant physically. Yeah. Yeah, you're much hotter than Pam. Now, with all your weight, you're losing.

Hey, dude. They might, you know, you might be. That's a pretty good one. I like that you're one of the favorites one of the three favorites yeah uh fof i'd like to remind you it is called nateland chad kirk hello folks i love the idea of the cpap tour featuring breakfast in the gout some alternative names could be the whistle and the wheeze. I like that one a lot. Or worried in the wasteland.

Wasteline. I'm sorry. Or worried in the wasteline. Or the aged and the articulate. I love the podcast. All three of you make my day each time I watch, and I haven't missed an episode. Keep it up. I really like those.

Those are all funny. Yeah, those are all good. CPAP tour featuring breakfast in the gout yeah the whistle and the wheeze the whistle and the wheeze whistle the wheeze is is i like that one i don't worry in the waist we're in the waistline that's pretty good too because i mean if i said the waistline yeah to be called that is very funny well i mean i why, yeah, it's tough for you to hear that, but it's worried in the waist. Man, those are really good.

They are. Joshua Tensher, I'm just here to ask Nate to tell the basketball story with Nick Novicki. I will continue to ask every week until Nate finally graces us with the funniest story I've heard in a long time. Keep up the good works. So I guess I've not told this story. No. I think you told it on another podcast.

I told it on Legion of Skanks. We heard it from another perspective. Yeah. Joe List's perspective. He's the one that usually tells it. No. There's a few. It was Dave Smith that told it, I think.

Yes, Dave was there. So obviously everybody knows Nick, our buddy Nick Novicki. He's a little person. They just had a baby, a very healthy baby. And so Nick, we played basketball. So there was a basketball league that we ran in New York, and we'd always play in Queens in Astoria. The Astoria Basketball League, I think is what, you know.

And it was just comics. And so there was, I mean, Joe List, Ted Alexandro. I mean, a lot of people. I'm going to miss Jay. We'd always play in it. Big Jay. You know, I played in it. My buddy Dan Shackey came.

Keith Alberstadt. I mean, blew his knee up at it like right behind me like tore like something something popped and they were and they had to get a backer car up on the like on the basketball court and put him in the back and he had to go to the hospital uh gary goldman came out there kurt metzger. Kurt Metzger never played basketball. One of the funniest things I ever heard him say, we would shoot free throws for teams, right? So whoever makes it is on one team, whoever misses is on the other team. And so we'd always tell Kurt, we'd shoot it.

And then one time we'd ask him, do you know why you're shooting it? And he goes, oh, I've never known. And so he was just always like, he just did whatever you told him yeah and i mean when kurt would get the ball we were just like but like give it he'd be like like you just wanted out of his hands kurt was like a big guy yeah and could uh get rebounds and so uh a bunch of us played we played i mean this was this went on for a while. It was very fun. We played every Wednesday, and we played outdoors. You'd always have kids come try to join and all this. You'd play with some of the local kids.

Usually they were in school. So I bring Nick, right? And so Nick's playing with us. And, you know, no one wants to block Nick. No one's defending him super hard. And Nick, I mean, now he's beat up more than he was. But Nick could play. Nick played basketball, and they have little people leagues and stuff.

And Nick is a good little ball player. And so Nick's like dribbling around and like making everything. And no one really knows what to do but i brought nick out and like it's just getting to a point that they're winning i mean they're he's making every shot so uh i finally you know had to put a stop to it nick shot one and i launched it i mean just just boom just out of the like like, I don't know. Now everybody's just sitting there and just come out of nowhere and just block him. And everybody's like, all right.

Was he, like, getting more confident every time he shot it? I mean, he was just dribbling in and, like, you know, and everybody – you'd guard him. But it's – you know, I mean, it's all – I mean, the games would get very competitive. John Fish would play out there. Like, this's all i mean the games would get very competitive john fish you play out there like this guy like the games would get super competitive and uh we had dane allen was this one guy but he's 6 11 and he'd always just he's typical 6 11 guys shoot threes like you're like we're like dane go down there dan was not bad there was but uh we uh yeah we would do it and nick was just getting like he was just making some

baskets dude and we and like started making a bunch of them and uh and then i just finally when you did that did everyone laugh immediately it was like a shock because it was like clearly it was almost like we were getting bullied by nick and i finally And I finally stood up to him because he was just knowing. Everybody was just kind of like, well, what are we supposed to do? Yeah. And so then I handled it. And I mean, I launched it. And then after that, his game was shut down.

After that, he was shut down. Yeah. And then I remember we had one kid that every basket he'd make, he'd be like, yes, yes, every shot. And you're like, all right, dude. Let's calm it down a little bit. But the games, we get heated. We almost get into some arguments.

Yeah. That's great. Christy ATX, this podcast has been one of my favorite things to come out of quarantine, but it's a very difficult podcast to hype up. What is a tagline listeners can use to persuade our friends to listen to this podcast? You know, we've mentioned that. And like we say, what is it?

What was the one? It's answer to a question that no one ever asked. Answer to a question that no one ever asked is a pretty good one. It's just, yeah, it's just, i think it's a podcast trying to be funny we we try to get a topic we talk about in the live one we just pick a topic it'll make you feel better about yourself yeah as far as your intelligence you will be shocked of the stuff that we discover on this podcast like you get to watch two people be like, oh, wow, I didn't know that.

And you're like, how do you not know that? There's a lot of stuff like that. It's a lot of three different educations, no education, a very old education, and then the young and new education, the fancy, flashy Notre Dame, the big big deal one yeah yours they might not even teach them that stuff you know you ever think about that some of them there's no reason anymore cursive yeah like what was your degree it was communications yeah yeah what'd you do in college

write checks there y'all are communicating pretty different back then right yeah i mean right when i was getting out of college i heard about the concept of the internet yeah and i took a computer class my last semester and the guy talked about how he did email and emailed his brother yeah i was like that's crazy but i don't i'm not gonna do that that's like for computer nerds like who cares yeah wow yeah and now you do a podcast it's all looking up Wikipedia. That's all. So she also, Christy, they're like, where do they get their facts from?

Like, just Wikipedia. They're probably wrong facts. A few people suggested to make it seem more authentic, go to the bottom of Wikipedia where they do the sources. Yeah. And then just cite them. Nice. And just take those. But I don't want that much work.

Yeah. You don't want to scroll all the way down to the bottom. People know we're just winging it. Yeah, the whole theory of this is, look, maybe you do learn. Or maybe you hear some stuff that you're like, oh, yeah. It's very easy, kind of easy. You want it to be easy listening, easy things to be like, oh, I don't know if I knew that.

Maybe we just did an episode on pro wrestling. A lot people probably not gonna care about pro wrestling but we've had plenty of episodes where people like well i thought i never cared about this and then i do so we try to realize that not everything's gonna be your cup of tea not everything's my cup of tea that we talk about i don't care for a lot of the things yeah that's for sure uh But yeah, we try to be funny. But it's, yeah, the question, yeah, it's like, what was it? An answer to a question no one ever asked. Yeah, yeah. Right now, I think that could be in the lead. Yeah.

Yeah, of what describes this show. Yeah, Christy's like, I think I'm out. She's like, I don't know. I wanted to help you guys, but you're not helping me. She goes, you know what? I'm fine just listening to it on my own. I don't need to bring any people into this mess. We're also that.

Don't drag people into this car wreck that's going on. You're like, let it happen. But if you need to, if you want to have people to talk about it with, there's a good little Nateland subreddit popping off now. Oh, really? Is that a scene where people are posting about, talking about the episodes and stuff? Oh, there you go.

Yeah, it's cool. So check it out on there. Is subreddit is... It's like a Reddit page. Reddit page. Yeah. So it's the... I think there's a Nate Land fan Facebook page.

There is. Yeah, there is one. Oh, there you go. You can be in the mix. Yeah, yeah. connect with some folks there is some some guy made an erin land instagram that's been yeah it's blowing up yeah that is tough to describe how do you describe that when christy goes she goes well there's a there's another podcast erin land and they go wow uh okay so the one of the co-hosts started his own podcast you go well not really. He did. And they go, when does it air?

It airs during this one. And they go, okay. And can I listen to it? You go, I can't because it's not real. So there's a lot of that. There's a lot of like, there's no explanation for some of it. But yeah, we're going to, we have, which you've been putting together a best of.

And we've even thought about trying to – we ought to put something – we could maybe try to get a clip together to be like, here's something to give. We're trying to make it to be like, here's how you give to someone to go. If you want someone to watch this podcast, we think if we do – if we could find like a 10-minute – Like a cheat sheet almost of all the terms. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah.

Jose Venta. It's been a while, but when Aaron talked about canceling memberships at the gym, it reminded me that I tried once to do it over the phone by saying my mom had died, and I had to go back home to Puerto Rico. I was fake, choking up. I was faking it, choking up a bit, and then asked if there was any possibility I would be coming back. And they asked if there was any possibility I would be coming back to St. Louis. And I said, probably to move because I was permanently moving

back home. And they said, well, okay, when you come get your stuff before you move back home, just come in and cancel let's just say luckily my mom is still alive and i've yet to cancel that membership and this was five years ago i love you guys you found your you found your soulmate yeah there should be a reddit for people that can't cancel that membership that's so good uh they well would you come back I guess to get my stuff oh well perfect just swing in we'll need a desk shift kit they know that's how good

Planet Fitness is they just know all you gotta do is make them come in and cancel they could be like we're not even gonna be weird about it we're gonna go okay you'd be good at that job spinning and reading through people's excuses, I feel like. I feel like I can't come by.

You'd be like, yeah, but you can. I don't know. I feel like you would talk me into it. And like three questions like that. To go from fake crying to being like, all right, I'll come in that quick. And he's paid $600 or something. Yeah, $600 or so. It cost him $600.

Just the annoyance of having to go down there and do it. It's a pretty good business they got. They're not saying don't cancel. They're going like, look, cancel anytime. We're not even making you go to hoops. I signed up which is very...

I was in the New York Times crossword. I was an answer on the New York times crossword puzzle, which is one of the, I mean, one of the craziest things I think I've ever got to be a part of out of all the things it's, it's, it is pretty mind blowing to be that answer.

So I, I obviously, you know, I don't read the New York times. So I signed up for it. And then I was going to go to the subscriptions to like, you know, I mean, they're so nice. I should subscribe to them because it was very nice to be included in that. And so I've subscribed to it.

And then I went to go to my subscription on my phone to then just go ahead and cancel it. Because I wanted to just do this one. I didn't even do it. Just to see yeah and uh you got to call someone to cancel and you're like oh well they so they got me yeah yeah i'll never cancel a crossword puzzle that's weird yeah so yeah you're in for life dude but they gave me an answer they made me an answer so i'll take it that's cool jason williams this podcast is the real-life version of Billy Madison where Nate learns basic things he should have learned K-12 from Aaron and Bebop.

I went to high school with Jason Williams. That's him. Did you? Yeah. He drives a car service. He might have been the basketball player. Could be the basketball player. Seems like, I mean, I would love it to be the best.

Jason Williams doesn't feel like that's how he talks hey guys uh jason williams here you know the uh is it white chocolate white chocolate aka white chocolate hello folks white chocolate here tracy afifi i am a tenured professor and a stand-up comedy superfan. I have to say I've been surprised by how much reference there has been to the academics, survey, data collection, and the peer review process. This is the world that I live in. You might be surprised to know that I love the way Nate thinks about research. He comes in skeptical and is looking for the bias.

Nate, you asked an excellent question about how does the general population know where to get accurate information from studies. With permission, I would like to use this clip from Alien's episode in my class to teach my students the importance of communicating findings

to the general public. Do we have the clip? No, she didn't say say that's all it was but it was like i think we talked about the aliens episode about how uh you talk about how you got to be skeptical because you don't know what they're trying to make you do out there yeah yeah so it's good well that's that's so funny that they're to class they're like we've got to communicate to the general public i mean look what we're dealing with here. These are the people we're informing, all right? So we can't.

That's what it is. So I'm giving you the people's perspective, like the people's elbow. I'm giving the people's perspective of going, yo, where is this information coming from? I don't believe it. Yeah. You can absolutely use it. Yeah, that's awesome. I would love for you to use it.

We've been a source in a paper, and now you're getting played in college classes, man? College classes. Tenured professor, which is a big deal. Yeah. Right? That means she gets paid for life. She wants you to know I'm not an adjunct professor.

I'm the real McCoy. What does tenured mean? You've been doing it for the longest. You have tenure, yeah. You have tenure. I think you have a lot more rights. I mean, it's not as easy to fire you. She can vote now.

Wow. That's her rights. Listen to her. One of your parking gets better. Maybe. better the tenured lot they got to get a better lot i don't know if they have their own lot they might have a sign or two you know how many are there is it hard to get it there's a fair amount i mean it takes years you have to be on a tenure track it's called and then you eventually get there. Wow. Yeah. So it's like you have to, because most people quit.

Is it like Planet Fitness? Is it basically like they know it's there? You can get out. But if you stick through it, which is Planet Fitness' kind of goal, you will be better for it. Maybe. Maybe. That doesn't make sense. That analogy does not take good. I would have tried to find a quicker way to get to tenure,

and then I would not have it. Yeah. Don't do my route. Steven Mitchell. I had my sister in town a few weeks ago, and I had to show her one of the funniest dudes I've ever seen. The big dumb eyes reference got me again so hard, I literally passed out of my chair,

and they had to call the pair of bandits. I'm all good, but I've been banned from watching nate on my own for fear of repeating the laughing episode in er visit thanks for clean comedy uh yeah that's uh i appreciate that almost killed literally killed him yeah he might have some underlying conditions no I think he's doing fine. He gets good comedy. I'll tell you that. He's got great taste. I'll say that. Somebody gets thin, all of a sudden they're judging others.

Yeah. Whoa. Mr. Fitness. That's true. Wow. P90X, you want to do your fitness part of your podcast? You got a fitness cast. Go with fitness.

Download Aaron's new app. It's How to Lose Weight. How to Lose Weight in eight episodes. Eddie Riley Jr. My son Jaden and me are absolutely enamored with this show. We never miss an episode, and we actually have bonded over the show by making Thursdays at our house all about Nate Land.

My son has begged me to see you in person, so we made a deal that if he maintained straight A's all year, I would take him to the show the moment you started touring again, no matter the distance. Well, folks, he did it. And I was extremely lucky to have a friend who had tickets to your sold-out show and is willing to sell them to me so I can hold up my end of the bargain. So, Nate, we will see you August 7th in Sacramento.

All right. Straight A's. Way to go, Jayden. Way to go. I'm going to be honest with you. Oh, man. What did that show? I was about to say, that show has been canceled.

Yeah. I don't know. I got to see. California's not opening up like we thought. Sorry, Jayden. Yes, Jayden. Next year, buddy. You do it again next year. California's not opening up like we thought We will see Sorry Jaden Next year buddy We'll get you If that doesn't happen

I don't know I don't know for sure yet August California's not opening up So no matter what His buddy sold him tickets Cause he knows Yeah man I'll do it for little Jaden. Yeah, dude.

I'll sell you all of them. Yeah. Straight A's. Way to go. Well, Eddie, I'll get whatever. We're going to figure out what show. And you don't have to. You know what, Eddie, you and show. And you don't have to.

You know what, Eddie, you and Jayden, you don't have to buy tickets. We'll figure out. Get email. Email the podcast. Nelan at neighboragetzi.com. Let me know when the email gets there. Email the podcast. We're going to get you all to the show.

You get straight A's, dude. You get a reward, though. You can't. I mean, he's going to go, and we'll get him, and he'll come backstage, and we'll meet him afterwards. That's cool. So if that show doesn't happen, I mean, another one will. Could you drive to Boise? Yeah.

Eddie, Jayden, how are you? Have you ever heard of Des Moines? Just trying to get him to go. Miami's not selling well. Come down to Miami. You said, no matter the distance. It's like the trip cost him seven grand. He just comes back to the group, eats the food in the back.

He's like, we just love some of that. Driving for 12 days like on seinfeld when they give him do you mind if we have those oranges those japanese businessmen and he brings some oranges he goes can we have these oranges and then there's eating the oranges because they're out of money uh we're gonna we're we're getting this show it's all gonna come together. John Zittmeyer. Zittmeyer. Is there anything you have to double check with your wife before you use it as material?

If so, what are those conversations like? I can't remember. I think I've asked. But it's not as... I'm very lucky. She gets it. She's very, very good about it. And so it's – you know, it is funny.

I mean, if we get in a real fight, the thing is, is you want her out of bounds too. Like, I don't want everyone hurt thinking, like, if we're – you know, I mean, when you're in the moment, though, it's like you're in the moment. you're not i don't completely come out of going like i'll make this a joke but uh when it does happen you know uh windfall sweep happened pretty quick yeah you called me yeah whatever it happened and you're like this could be a joke right yeah marriage is. Marriage is falling apart, but I might close on this. I'll be honest with you, I might close it.

I mean, it's a closing. That's a little different than just something in the middle. You're like, you're closing on it? You're like, come on, dude. It's, yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's anything that she's been pretty good about it and i'll tell her and uh you know you got to find the right moment to tell her like to like you don't just you're not in it going i'm going to use this as a joke whenever the fight's over

but one fell swoop was probably the quickest where i was like oh that could be something yeah because there was time in between it happening it's like the one fell swoop happened so that's kind of where the whole joke came from is on the phone her saying one fell swoop and then it was me driving home to then be in that other fight so then i'm just thinking about the joke aspect of it on the way home. Yeah. So I already kind of got the beginning, and I just finished it off. Looking for a button on this.

Yeah. You swayed in a certain direction. I walked in in a tuxedo because I needed something. I wanted to be different. You just come in. So I went and bought another dog without telling her because I was like let me see her reaction

to that I look at her as like a science project like come in yeah I don't know does your wife get mad no she's been good I mean

I've only been married a little over a year but so far she's been great about everything yeah I don't talk about it yeah

her very much yeah that's a good song uh i've just been on stage he tries not to tell anyone he's engaged yeah I like to let the audience keep guessing. You will. Yeah, I'm sure. I don't think I... Well, I mean, I've been married basically so long, but I didn't...

I don't think I ever had my girlfriend joke. I don't think... I really don't. That's crazy. I think about it. I mean, we got married, I was don't. That's crazy. I think about it. I mean, we got married, I was 2006. So I was inserted in 03. So I was three, three and a half years into comedy.

And I don't think I ever had a fiance or a girlfriend joke. It's pretty funny. I never thought about that. I never, I just was just wife. Man. Because we lived separate until we got married so i guess that's why i'm still doing girlfriend and fiance jokes i've been married for a year and a half yeah well you never had like dating jokes then

no i had a joke saying i don't have any dating jokes yeah that's about well i think one of my favorite jokes of i went from my mom to her. Yeah. So I've never had an hour without some lady being like, I don't know if I would do that. That's a joke that's a great one to bring back. Because sometimes people don't know it because it was, I don't remember when I did it, but it was on something. That was on the Comedy Central. Comedy Central.

Oh, yeah. And then, so it's like fun to bring back in like corporates or sometimes even like that to do some old stuff. Because it's like people don't remember it. But that's one of my, I mean, out of my jokes, but that's one of my favorite jokes. Did you have Harper when you first told it? I think so. Maybe not. Maybe not.

Because then I added Harper. Now we have a daughter, so I'll never know. Yeah. Rooting for a girl. Just throw a tag on that joke yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't remember if i had that joke before yeah i just need it please let it be a girl yeah uh jensen millville melville every time nate reads the comments it reminds me of michael getting mad at his roast on the office the whole thing was his idea now he's upset that they're making fun of him that's a great episode well you're supposed to say something nice

yeah none of y'all say anything nice about me afterwards really went after my intelligence all right uh this week i gotta get it together uh this week we uh uh we as you know because you've seen the title uh we're talking about the presidents. Just the U.S. ones. Is anybody else called president? Well, like presidents of companies. Yeah, there's other countries that are presidents. Oh, yeah. Prime minister.

That kind of... Yeah, it's like, what would you want? You'd rather be a president, chancellor. I mean, a king. There's still kings, right? And, uh,

but there are kings that are queen Elizabeth and all that kind of stuff. Are they running that? They're just figure, figureheads. Yeah. They have a prime minister. It's all a joke. How is it?

I, I think it's so silly. It's more just pop and circumstance. Like, yeah. Mark, like when Margaret Thatcher, you Thatcher was prime minister of England, or Winston Churchill back in World War II,

they were calling the shots. So they just, when did it switch? I don't know. A long time ago, I think. Yeah, we can do an episode on that. The royal family? Royal family. That'd be fun.

My mom loves it. Oh, really? Moms are way into it yeah that is a enormous mom thing she watched the weddings and everything oh oh like 2 a.m oh dude yeah i mean every single wedding funeral she knows all about it she knows all that's going on uh the mega markle kind of thing i mean dude it is a real life soap opera and uh now may i'm sure there's a lot of people that like i almost actually started watching a documentary about them i tried to last night uh or star one because i was just kind of like i'm'm kind of curious about it. Like Princess Di.

Princess Di, like, I think changed it. Like everybody just became in love with her. Yeah. And then so the obsession of like, you know, I think it is. I think it's like, you know. Maybe you should watch The Crown. She did. I mean, you, if you're.

I don't know if I want to go. We watched season one. I mean, you see her. That's when she became queen and in her relationship with winston churchill and he consults her obviously and and she's in on all the stuff but yeah ultimately the prime minister's decision yeah so they're they're they're electing the prime minister and then but what's what would there be comparison to be here is there even a comparison the kardashians is it i mean they're it's it's like that uh i mean i it's just yes now they say long live the queen like you know it's funny like don't they they say all that queen stuff

the prime minister is like is he like oh hey can i get i'm actually running this show did all the work yeah yeah i mean that's not a good comparison then because we're not gonna say long live the kardashians they do obviously like they're very important to theirium stuff like yeah what humanitarian is that where you put your lizards yeah humanity uh what's the human? What's like a. Humanitarian? Yeah. Okay. Humanitarian.

Who? Yeah. Which one? No, isn't that the like doing things for people? Like they, that's like what they do. The human fun? The human fun. Humanitarian.

Humanitarian. Yeah. Oh, humanitarian. Humanitarian. Yeah. What about them? Was I not saying that right? We got there eventually.

Yeah. And then you went back and then we got humanitarian okay yes when you just an m or an n at the end an n humanitarian yeah i think i was saying it and then you questioned it like i thought you were putting i think you're saying humanitarian like uh where you keep a lizard yeah yeah are they like that no they're uh yeah like they do those kind of things yeah yeah yes okay all right so i'm exactly right and i mean i said enough of the word that i think most people at home were like yeah did we get yeah i've said so many words wrong that they go in the context of what he's talking about. I know he's not talking about lizard cages. People love Jimbership, by the way.

Jimbership? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah. They're like, there should be more words like that put together. Yeah. Jimbership. Yeah. Yeah.

It is a good, that's what a company, Planet Fitness should have done it. Yeah. We have a Jimbership. Yeah. We have a Jimbership. Yeah. We have a gymbership. Yeah. Yeah. It works out.

Yeah. It works. It's cool. Save a little time. Yeah. Get to the point. Yeah. Okay.

Membership to what? That's why I said gymbership. You just saved me a couple questions. Yeah. Yeah. No one wants to work out.

Now I'm trying to get to these questions quicker. Yeah. It's good for the lazy. Yeah. No one wants to work out. Now I'm trying to get to these questions quicker. Yeah. It's good for the lazy. Yeah. Jimbership. All right. All right.

Well, so this is about US presidents. The royal family. That would be a good one. Yeah. Yeah, it would be. It'll all be the crown stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

You want to do that a future episode? Yeah. All right. Have your mom on as a consultant? My mom would know everything. She knows everything. Yeah. Yeah. You want to do that a future episode? Yeah. All right. Have your mom on as a consultant? My mom would know everything. She knows everything. Yeah. So I was shocked at how many just crazy things happened in the early days of U.S. presidents.

I mean, it was just a different world back then as far as the- Let's start it off. What is a U.S. president? Do you know the three qualifications to be a u.s president do you know the three qualifications to be a u.s president you have to be current like the current ones because they added i think the old ones well this they've added some what do you think qualifications since since it started oh this says the yeah like not at the beginning okay i would think let me see okay go ahead but

i was gonna say this says it's remained the same since washington okay but maybe the stuff you read is different i didn't scroll down wikipedia maybe it changed at the bottom maybe it's shane yeah notre dame's doing its own kind of thing i mean you may you may be right did you fall asleep when the press for goes in that when your professor goes That's what I think they should be doing You don't hear that part of the sentence And that's what I think they should honestly be doing You're like what's that I thought the age thing had changed but I guess not

35 Yeah it had to be at least 35 Born in America Right Yeah natural born citizen Meaning if your parents were US citizens You were born abroad You could still

Yes The third one I did not know To be a male Six foot tall It used to be the white But I guess that's different Still gotta be a dude It used to be white male Is i guess that's different uh it's still gonna be a dude it used to be white male and that's changed i think is that what you were talking about yeah they

changed yeah yeah that's what you'll find out right about 2008 yeah yeah when y'all they someone sees obama they go i guess they updated them that guy pulls out some papers he goes i guess i didn't see where was that change when was that made what i don't know what the what is the other uh hold on okay we still got six feet tall you so you born here 35 years old uh, I don't know if I know. You have to be a resident for a minimum of 14 years. So you couldn't be born here and then immediately move away your whole life and come back.

And then at age 40, you want to run for president. I always think they should do that for mayors and stuff. You can't just move to the town and immediately run? Yeah, you think there's mayors that you're're like are you from there like that town like is our mayor john cooper the mayor in nashville is he from nashville i think so okay that worked out yeah but it's but it's like some of us everybody from a mayor like no i don't know i mean probably every city

has different like new york are Are they all New Yorkers? Do they all move up there? Like, you know, is it like, it's like a status. Like to be New York mayor is bigger than being, you know, Nashville's mayor. Yeah. So like, do you want to go like, no, I'm trying to be New York mayor. I don't know about Bill de Blasio. Cooper was raised in Shelbyville.

Yeah. Born in Nashville. Okay. Raised in Shelbyville. Born in Nashville. Okay. Raised in Shelbyville. Moved back to Nashville in his adult life. Yeah. I just, yeah, like to me, like I was, maybe most mayors are from the town. Probably most are.

I'm sure there's some that moved there. Yeah. But I don't know. The other thing I, well, one thing is just the security back then. It's crazy how lax it was. Like it was almost to the equivalent of maybe a celebrity now where if you go places,

you got to maybe a couple of people with you. You got a guy who makes sure nobody gets too close, but that's about it. The, uh, the white house was still open just to walk in even during the civil close. Yeah. But that's about it. The White House was still open just to walk in, even during the Civil War. Wow. When this country is literally fighting against each other,

and people could just enter the White House every day. They just left the Pennsylvania Avenue door open all day long, sometimes even to the evening, they said. And it didn't change until the late 1800s when they had to have a door policy for people coming in wow so you could just you could people just take trips there and you would go walk in would you see the president you could yeah yeah very much so you could walk up to the president it wouldn't be out of the question yeah yeah it would not it wouldn't probably be easy but it wouldn't be that hard either yeah they got him in the back at least yeah but you could you know maybe like a mayor or something where you just you might just run into him somewhere yeah but i don't think could you get

to a mayor not easily i mean i guess depends what town you're talking about but but yeah it's probably something like that yeah it's It's like Andy Griffith. The mayor of Mayberry? Well, yeah. I mean, he's the sheriff. You can just walk in there and talk to him. It's just super casual. It's very casual.

Yeah. It's just hard to think about. Well, the White House, I wonder if it was, you know, I think then, I mean, was there like a celebrities? There wasn't really celebrities back then. like no not really people didn't uh i mean it's crazy as celebrities like even the word is like you're celebrate it's kind of yeah celebrating a person yeah and so look up who's the first celebrity i i wonder if if people who's like Who's considered the first celebrity? Probably, if not Eve, probably Adam. But the idea of it, back then, you clearly... Garibaldi.

For the modern age. You were going all time? I just, in general, what the word means now. Cleopatra. cleopatra cleopatra hmm well do what makes someone a celebrity what does it even mean my guess is people the early presidents people certainly probably didn't know what they look like right and might have been a lot of people that couldn't even tell you who the president was. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. I don't even know. I read, I was going to get to that later, but John Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln. His, he was an actor. John Wilkes Booth was his brother was the most successful actor of eight

of 1800. He was like the Tom Hanks of that time. Oh, wow. And of course they didn't have movies, but they had plays and he was like the tom hanks of that time oh wow and of course they didn't have movies but they had plays and he was a huge star and john wilkes booth brother saved abraham lincoln's son from falling off a train track wow isn't that crazy yeah wow and then his other brother one-upped him yeah yeah so Yeah. So that story is pretty crazy

about talking about security. Yeah. He, Abraham Lincoln goes to this play and the secret service, well,

they didn't have secret service, but his bodyguard, Lincoln told him, just, just, I'm cool, man, according to him.

And so the guy went across the street with the valet, hung out at a bar. And so he had no security when they shot and killed him. And no one stopped him coming up. Yeah. Ulysses S. Grant, the Union General, was supposed to go with him to the play.

And he said he always regretted it because he thinks he could have stopped the guy. Yeah. But he never did. But the guy who was the bodyguard that let it happen did not get fired. Really? He got reprimanded, but kept his job, ended up bodyguarding Lincoln's wife. Really? What was her name?

Mary Todd. Yeah, Mary Todd. But what are you going to say if Lincoln tells you to go? Yeah. If he tells you to go, what are you going to say if Lincoln tells you to go? Yeah. If he tells you to go, what are you going to say? Well, she called him a murderer. Mary Todd did? Yeah.

Now, she obviously had some mental issues, but... Yeah. Did she? Yeah, she did. She did. I shouldn't say obviously. Everybody knows that. They know Mary.

Yeah. Obviously, Mary's just a help. Obviously. You know Mary. Yeah. Obviously, Mary's just a help. Obviously. You know Mary. She's a little different. Yeah. But I don't think he was supposed to be gone the whole time. I think he was supposed to just hang out in the back.

Don't go across the street to a bar, and you hear a gunshot. You're like, uh-oh. That didn't sound good. And run over there. What if he hears it? He goes, what are the odds? It's Lincoln. And you go

i mean they are your odds are i'll be honest they are hot because i just don't know who it could be but may like that's what someone's as he doesn't run out and he's i just picture him he's talking and he's a all that commotion going on and he goes what do you what are the odds that it's there was the president goes i mean look maybe it's the guy that was trying to do it and they got him that's and then he's like yeah right he goes yeah dude it could it's probably that and he goes right it's probably they got the guy that yeah all right i'm gonna go over there who was shot a ram lincoln the one guy didn't want it to be i was afraid of that it's the only good mary todd get hit and he just asked he knows she doesn't like murder here we go you know she's not right yeah obviously she's mentally ill she's not right it's not right

um this is just a crazy stat so john adams was the second president united states thomas jefferson was the third they both died on the same day july 4th 1826 on the 50-year anniversary of uh the declaration of Independence. Yeah. Oh, you knew that? I was trying to impress you. No, I was in the – there's a show on HBO called John Adams, which is awesome, about that. I think Adams' last words were, Jefferson lives.

Yes, even though Jefferson had already died. He just didn't know it. Is that true? Yeah, he just didn't know it. Why was it Jefferson lives? They had a really complicated and long relationship and they just really respected each other

and they I don't know Jefferson survives I think you said oh they loved each other they hated each other for a while yeah

and then but then they then they really got together when do y'all when do you talk about this stuff in school that wasn't school that was me just watching

is that Paul Giamatti Paul Giamatti plays John Adams. It's unbelievable. I thought you liked... I was like, when does people get into this stuff, man? I'm sure if you take history classes, American history.

And then five years after that, James Monroe, the fifth president, died on July 4th. Really? So three of the first five presidents died on July 4th. Really? So three of the first five presidents died on July 4th. Patriotic. Yep. Did, uh, and what significance did July 4th have? I guess that's how it is.

Tell me like you're telling a five-year-old. Yeah. Well, that's a surplus. Yeah. Thomas Jefferson claimed to be an accomplished architect. He designed his famous home at Monticello. You say claimed to be An accomplished architect He designed His famous home At Monticello

You say claimed To be like We don't have I said that Because George Costanza Always claimed to be An architect He was an architect

You know the What is it The Gutenberg The Gutenberg Is that it The Gutenheim The Gutenheim Down there

Yeah Didn't take that He goes You did that Yeah Didn't take that long either yeah yeah james madison the fourth president was the shortest smallest president ever he was five foot four and weighed a hundred pounds that's crazy a hundred pounds harper weighs 60 pounds

well how much laura huh yeah probably like a hundred Yeah. Like, yeah, maybe. Maybe 110. She's getting a little, you know. Yeah. I'm trying to get her back down. Yikes. She walks in and, wow. So I got that door refinished, you know. She's going to be joining Mike Awesome on that wrestling thing.

What was it? The something thriller? The big chick thriller? Yeah, it brings in the fat chicks. Fat chicks thriller. That's how Laura has to come in through the door. She has to come in through the window. Now you're straining.

Walk up, hit that garage door button. She's coming in the back, folks. Let her through. Let her through Let her through Here comes Miss 110 Well, he was 100 pounds He was very small John Quincy Adams

Was a huge fan of skinny dipping every day He did it every morning in the Potomac River Finally, a female reporter Knew it And sat on his clothes until he granted her an interview first female reporter to get an interview with the president while he was president he would go out alone in skinny dip i don't know if he's alone but apparently because she got his clothes yeah wow she could get to him yeah and then yeah it's pretty amazing to me how when America was founded,

we were like, we're going to form a democracy, get away from this oppressive monarchy. And then we have a father-son presidency that quickly. John Quincy Adams and John Adams. We're already double dipping on these families. We don't have enough. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's just so new of a thing.

Yeah. I think it's people want to just vote for, like, well, they are in it. They know. Like, you just want someone that's, like, up there. Yeah. Like, you're almost, they at least, you know, it's like, I mean, some people do want, you want new. And you want something crazy.

But I think most people, you're just like, yeah, I just want like, you know, it's a lot of Bushes, a lot of Clintons. Because you're like, yeah, they know. You know, it's like, I don't need to get into it. And you're just like, just get a, so it's probably pretty easy to be like, you know, you're like, oh, yeah, I liked his dad, you know, whatever. John's boy. Yeah. yeah yeah let him do it now we're up to andrew jackson boy you could do a whole podcast just on him he fought in so many duels yeah i mean killed a guy didn't even hurt his presidential candidacy yeah they were just into it it did back then it said many american men especially in the south

view duel as a time-honored tradition dueling so dueling was was it on its way out probably he brought it back well i mean was it i don't know still you know when was andrew jack yeah i'm looking up early 1800s there's one time while was president, a guy tried to assassinate him. It was the first attempt on a president. The gun misfired. He pulled out a second pistol.

It also misfired. Andrew Jackson, now furious, this guy's tried to shoot him twice, took his cane and beat the guy to a pulp.

And killed him. No. Davy Crockett had to pull him off of him before the guy got killed. Oh, dude, how funny is that?

That's the guy in the room. Well, who calmed it down? Are we going to tell me Davey Crockett was in the room? Actually, yeah. Actually, Davey Crockett was in the room. That's a who's who. I know. It was a crazy party that was going on.

Yeah. He got in so many duels. He got tangled up twice with the governor of tennessee really john severe he was the governor they traded shots in a crowd and the only person got hit was a woman standing close by um and then they met a second time in knoxville for a duel and they got so heated that john severe's horse ran away with the pistols and so they had to cancel the duel no i mean just the frustration of that but he's the governor of tennessee and he's just meeting people to yeah i love it i love

it well the fact that andrew jackson loves it yeah like bring it on let's go yeah that's what's so crazy, dude. Yeah. I mean, just to be in a crowd and then be like, how did he do? You know what he did? He shot somebody? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people had it in their newspapers.

They just read it and was like, because I guess all the newspapers, how are they getting around everyone like i don't i picture trying to read a newspaper in the news back then was just well it's got to be so delayed yeah isn't that what the tom hanks movie is news of the world something like that yeah or yeah yeah you told you watch it he would go around and read it to people because they could people couldn't read yeah so you'd be so So, like, all this stuff could even get missed because by the time... Yeah, they said Andrew Jackson could have fought 12 duels,

could have fought 100. They're not sure. Yeah. They have no idea. He was out there, dude. Yeah. He liked to go at it. Usually because they insulted his wife.

Oh, yeah? Oh, wow. His wife, I think, maybe married him before her last marriage was annulled. Oh, okay. So people accused her of being an adulterer. And Rachel Donaldson, who Donaldson's named after, and he would fight for his wife. Oh, good for him. Yeah.

Defending his family's honor, dude. He trained his pet parrot how to curse. And it got so bad at jackson's funeral they had to remove the parrot from the funeral because it was cussing so much that's crazy it's crazy that's awesome i think joe zimmerman has a funny joke about that uh yeah joe zimmerman has a very funny joke about andy jackson yeah i forget what exactly what it was but it was like uh, what are the duels? So when would they go do duels?

Duels are usually about a matter of honor. The goal of a duel is not usually to kill the opponent, but to restore the honor of the man who declared the duel. There are legal exceptions for murder and assault. It's like consider this thing. You declare a duel and all all bets are off you can do whatever you want in the duel i think there are some actual countries now where there are still kind of exceptions for duels but they're people don't do them anymore but you could they're still in the law technically yeah yeah so you could declare when the the rules of it yeah the person who now you you just have to

agree on the rules beforehand so everyone could do it a little differently when you think about a duel like the wild west where you walk 10 10 steps and then turn around and then it's like quick draw that's it that's just they've agreed on those rules but i don't know if like andrew jackson's duels went like that probably not you can do with a knife too if you want a knife or a sword yeah i mean when you know when to draw and when not to draw like i don't know you know just be really quick with it yeah what if you were just every time i do a duel i shoot you immediately yeah i mean that's not honoring and you're like yeah honorable defeats the whole purpose i guess and then you're like but i'm not but i won yeah but i won and he's not

yeah the other guy's dead i'm not yeah so i what's the what's the problem you know what's the what's the problem i don't understand yeah would you like to do ask him who won the goal you just keep so do you want to no no no you have to cut him off so quick because you know once he's like would you like to duel boom he just shoots you so you gotta he's like do you want to do no no no no no no no no no no no you have to like you're like dude he'll just shoot you out of nowhere. That's so crazy. I mean, just to think, when was he president? Early 1800s, like 1830s. Just to be actively, I mean, golly.

I mean, you're coming up on 200 years ago. Yeah. So it's just, I mean, just a wild. I mean, just to think about where, how long did he live? He lived pretty old by those standards. He was 78 when he died. Died here in Nashville. Yeah.

78, crazy. Yeah. And then fought in so many duels, and then he lived a long life. He kept a 1,400-pound block of cheddar cheese in the White House for anyone to come have some of. You knew that? This is a great plot point in the West Wing. It is? Yeah, where the Bartlett administration has a big block of cheese day

to honor the spirit with that block of cheese day to honor the spirit of uh with that block of cheese where they like take meetings with organizations that are would typically be dismissed like weird fringe groups they meet with them it's called big block of cheese day that's how i know about that i think someone just gave it to him as a gift he's like what i'm gonna do with this so he just put it out for anybody to come the people come have some spirit that's why he was loved as like a common man like this is the people's house yeah people come in get some cheese hang out he'd have parties right or i'm sure he did i think i heard that yeah but if he's like no i don't think he did that he's in duels i don't think he was that rough come on he didn He didn't get too rowdy. Let him in.

Yeah, dude, he would just get, all right, yeah. Everyone hated him. Well, I mean, people loved him. The politicians hated him because he was so uncouth. All right, the institution, or like the insiders hated them, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, if you had a guy that's dueling, it's like, yeah, you know, there's going to be a group that's dueling it's like yeah you know like there's gonna be a group

that's gonna be way on board i bet your debate speech is you you keep it a little toned down what's that what'd you say you're right gas preserves are too high just says he has to agree with him i think he's good i would vote say it i would vote for andrew jackson thank you you have to say martin van buren van buren boys he was the eighth president he was from kinderhook new york and they called him old kinderhook and then they shortened it to okay and that's where the phrase okay comes from oh wow like if you said you're okay that means you're with martin van buren really they weren't saying okay before that well what does it mean you didn't know it means you're okay like you can come in yeah so. They just said, I'm good? Yeah. That's what they said back then?

Yeah. According to this. Hmm. Yeah. So, that was a tough one to come off of Andrew Jackson. Just to dive into. It's one of the facts you learn.

And you know what's fun? Right after Andrew Jackson, Van Buren, you're okay. You're doing okay. Came from that. Andrew Jackson, what president is Andrew Jackson? Van Buren, you're okay. You're doing okay. Came from that. Andrew Jackson.

When was the president? Was it Andrew Jackson? He was. He was number seven. He was number seven. Van Buren was eight? Yeah. Oh, I bet people listening are like, oh, my God, you're going to go through every one of these.

Here we go, dude. We got a lot more. Yeah, a lot. Number nine, William Henry Harrison. He gave the longest inauguration speech ever, hour 45 minutes. Unfortunately, he did it out in the cold with no coat or hat, developed pneumonia, and died 30 days later. Yeah.

He was the oldest president at that point, right? I think he did the speech super long to prove that he had the stamina as an old man, and then he caught pneumonia and died. That's pretty crazy, though. Yeah. Yeah. A little back crazy, though. Yeah. Yeah. A little backfire. Your inauguration.

John Tyler had 15 children. One of his grandsons is still alive today. Really? Yeah. One of them died last year. He lived in Franklin. Yeah. And there's another one that's still alive.

Who is it? John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States. He was president in the 1840s, and his grandson is still alive. John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States, was president in the 1840s, and his grandson is still alive. John Tyler. It's funny. Is there some presidents you don't know that you're like? There was a few that I was like, I think I've heard of this guy, but you were telling me to list all of them.

John Tyler has a grandson that's still alive. A grandson. Yeah. So did he ever even uh meet this grandson or no i think he had when how old is yeah when did he die so he died the he has a 91 year old grandson that's still alive right now and he lived john tyler did he was president in 1841 to 1845. Oh, he died in 1862. So, no, I mean.

He died before the Civil War was over. Yeah. And then his dad, I guess he had, I mean, his son, excuse me, lived a very long life and had a kid. Had a kid super late. Pretty late. Yeah. Yeah.

That is wild. Yeah. That's crazy. Who's your grandfather? That's crazy to be like it's john tyler and they're gonna obviously go well who is that yeah yeah there's no way everybody goes wow yeah i think if you go it was your grand who was your grandfather john tyler okay why are you saying that like i should know who that is he's the 10th president Why are you saying that like I should know who that is? He's the 10th president.

Of what? Of what? Yeah. Of HOA? No. No, of America. All right, dude. Who's after him?

The 12th president, Zachary Taylor, was munching on cherries and ice milk, and bacteria either in the cherries or the milk led to his death a few days later. I mean, we had a run here where it's just... Who are these people? They exhumed his body in 1991 to test to see if he was poisoned, but the results showed he did not have enough arsenic levels in his body to be poisoned.

So they think it was just bacteria that killed him. You think this guy, when he took this picture, knew that he would die from eating cherries? I mean, because he just looks like a pretty hard-nosed dude. He died from bad cherries, huh? Or ice milk. All right, yeah.

Yeah, there's a list of these presidents where you're going through and you're like, I don't know who these people are. John Tyler, I think, you know, I mean, it is where you're like, don't know who these people like yeah john tyler i think you know i mean it is where you're like i guess i've heard his name zachary taylor's one i barely heard of yeah most of these guys proceed about james k polk who's uh he's a tennessee guy we talked about him yeah yeah yeah uh some of these guys look like they wouldn't even be let on tv did they no you know You know what I mean? It didn't matter. It's probably a good thing.

It didn't matter what you looked like. I think everybody looked rough back then. I mean, even if you're the – there's no air conditioning. Some of you weren't like handsome, just like handsome dudes walking around. I think you were a dude, man. I think you were a straight up – I think the men looked like men. Like it was dude, you're

if you don't have I mean, I guess, do they have electricity in them? No, I'll get to that later. You don't have electricity, dude? There's mirrors? Yeah, there's mirrors. But you're not looking

you're not like checking yourself like you are now probably don't have hot water I mean there's probably I mean the Gettysburg Address could have been with spinach in his mouth for all day

no one even knows I mean no one even no one ever brings that up that he's just sitting there talking like is this something his front tooth and no one can tell

because they're outside and there's no cameras and no one's, you know. I think there are actually photos from the Gettysburg Address. That would have been hilarious if you're like, well, these people are ugly. They didn't have mirrors back then. They weren't. Oh, man. Well, I don't think they looked at them.

No. Like crazy. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a different look back then. That's fair. I think you were out. Yeah, you're out in the wild dude like you're like look at when you go go camping which is easier to do than what they had to live with yes it's easier to go camping uh near like here yeah then it would

be to live in the white house as a president at that time. When you come back from camping, you're not just on your best. Yeah, that's fair. And then for 40 years of camping, and then you have the nerve to go, you guys are not together that well. Yeah, dude. One of them, Andrew Jackson, is literally murdering people in the yard of the White House. They've all fought in wars. That's what he's having to deal with on the regular.

Is like assassinations. He's like, come on, dude. Look at Martin Van Buren. I mean, Martin Van Buren looks insane. He looks like a crazy person. And that's where okay came from. He looks okay. He looks insane. He looks like a crazy person. And that's where OK came from. He looks OK. And he looks OK.

How's the president look today? He looks OK. Yeah, I don't know. He looks like someone just told him, hey, you're president. Go take this picture. And he goes, what? And then he goes. Do I need to comb my hair?

He's having that which is how president would look i don't know it doesn't matter you got to get out there we gotta do this picture right now it's got uh you know the crow's about to fly away i don't know if they took pictures back then i don't know there's wind picking up and we're the flash of the candle is going to be gone and so we're not gonna get it so just hurry it's one it's one shot and that's what all the pictures look like like they just got told that's great um who's over to the left yeah that guy franklin pierce he looks all right he's the next one he was an alcoholic

there you go there you go that's why his own party did not want to re-nominate him for this for re-election so he said well there's nothing left to do but get drunk yeah and he while serving as president got arrested for running down an old woman while on horseback oh my while president yeah he was never convicted because they because there's insufficient evidence, but he was charged. Yeah, I mean, how are you going to prove it? I could just sweep up the tracks and it's over. It's a wrap.

You can't do anything. He hops off the horses, just brush away, like how you fix a sand trap with no rake. Just kind of brush your hands, brush your hands brush your feet couple tracks not even much and then you're like i never did it and you're like all right you know probably one guy asked the horse just to see you always you might as well try it is that you know he goes i don't do what if one of these horses can talk like it, it might as well. It doesn't hurt to try it. Imagine being that guy.

Can I speak to your horse for a second? The last guy had a parrot. So let's just see. We don't know. The two guys had the parrot. The parrot talked. Yeah. Let me pull the horse.

Let me just ask. I mean, dude, let me just ask the horse. There's someone asking that. Let me just ask him. Did he do this? Abraham Lincoln was our tallest president, 6'4". Still the tallest? Lyndon B. Johnson was also 6'4".

Okay. How about that hat? Because that's why. Yeah. He kept letters and documents in his hat. Dude. I explained. Yeah.

Yeah. That's why I was so tall. You know, he had a... Is this true true i don't know if you've heard this but i remember hearing you know he didn't have a beard first part of his political career and this a little girl wrote into him and said like you have an unconventional face you should probably try growing a beard and he did and he kept it it did make him look better if you see him without a beard. Yeah, it looks weird. I'll pull.

Yeah. I mean, part of it's because you're used to seeing him with a beard, but I mean, he was not a handsome guy. He's in the, um, yeah, he's in the wrestling hall of fame. Really? He had 300 matches only lost once. Wow. Cause he was so ugly.

I don't think he looks terrible. But he looks better with a beard, though, don't you think? Probably because we know him like that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's insane. He's got big ears. I guess it helps with his ears and stuff like that.

Yeah. I'm not saying he'd be a circus attraction. I'm just saying. I mean. I agree with you. Yeah. He looks regal almost with this beard. Yeah.

Where you're like, I want to hear what that guy has to say. Yeah. If I see this dude walking, I'd be like, somebody get this guy a sandwich or something. Nerd. You start pushing your glasses up. Doy, doy, doy, doy, doy. And he's like, I'm Abraham

Lincoln. Oh, but you are a loser. They just started mocking him. I'm growing the beard back. Is this your wife? You don't think something's wrong with that guy? Look at him. Did you talk to his wife?

Obviously something's... James Garfield was shot a few months into his presidency by an assassin and died 11 weeks later. Doctors tried using a newly invented metal detector to locate the bullet, but the metal bed springs kept messing up the results, leading doctors to cut in the wrong places. On top of this, the doctors kept introducing bacteria into his body with their unsterilized

prying fingers. So they led to his death. He was like, just brutally died. Like it would have been like, just let him, let me lie here. Yeah.

Got another one. How how much you get hit they don't ever feel when is that when they go bed springs just quietly they go oh we couldn't save them and just someone just out of nowhere, just someone quietly just. Bed springs. That's what it is. That's what it was. Yeah. You know what's crazy?

It was bed springs. It was probably all the smartest people like available that were looking at this. But they just, something so dumb and simple now is like not wearing gloves or even knowing that that's a. You wonder how many things. I don't think there's even gloves. you they're gonna have to wear like a winter mitt into you oh yeah what i'm saying they didn't even think of that as being a problem you wonder how many things we do now are going to be looked at that way years from now our smartest people we just don't know you know yeah i'm sure next week on air yeah we'll get into it about eating meat or something like that like that could be something they they they always think meat will be weird

eating other animals eating other animals yeah i could see that but for now i'm enjoying it we'll see how that holds up yeah i don't live then you know what i mean i live now uh chester arthur wanted to redecorate the white house and they didn't have the funds for it so he had an auction and sold all the old stuff including lincoln's pants and one of john quincy adams hats got lincoln's pants right here all right how much he's just asking the current president how much 20 uh nickels let's get out of get out of here buffalo nickel i think it was like a yard sale where it's like 50 cents for like a box of stuff yeah yeah i never heard i had never heard of this president i'll be honest chester chester arthur yeah never heard of this president. I'll be honest. Chester? Chester Arthur?

Yeah. Never heard of him. Well, apparently he's known for it. Chester Drawers? Is that what it is? Maybe. It might have been. Chester Drawers?

Yeah, Chester Drawers. Grover Cleveland was the 22nd and 24th president. He personally answered the White House phone That's so great Like the main number? Hello? Over there This is Steve speaking Sarah

Is this Sarah? Sarah give me That's when they had Operators Like you would be I found a baby I didn't know they had They probably had the first phone

Yeah Yeah I mean I would probably answer that phone too. Like it's such a new invention. That's like, that's like you're like that. That would be like now if they go, you know, the president used to fly himself in the flying car. And like insane, like a hundred years, you're like, what? So stupid is that?

But like to them. Yeah. I mean, a phone, you're like, yeah, dude, I'm going to answer it. That's crazy. Yeah, six other people have phones, so I'll answer it. Hello? Hello? He became the legal guardian of his friend's 11-year-old daughter,

and 10 years later, he married her at the White House. All right. Different time back then. Yeah. Nobody thought anything bad about it yeah yeah yeah i bet some people talked yeah i mean they well i don't know i mean i think yeah back then it was like your purpose you're like animals 21's old yeah hell he got married at 21 what's weird that he raised her yeah like that's the you know yeah that's what i was stuck on for sure yeah yeah

he had mouth cancer and they tried to keep it secret so they rented his buddy's yacht and they went out in the water and did emergency surgery so nobody would know about it it's gonna be tough to oh he comes back with a scar on his cheek and he goes what happened that we hit some waves. I'll be honest with you, you should have just went into the open field where no one could get to. You should have just locked the door. Yeah, I don't know. We could do it in the White House

and lock, maybe we do it in another room. I don't know where I gotta go. Is the White House where the White House was? Yeah. To bumpy waters to do a very

loose surgery. It wasn't like they were just killing it and everything was fine? Yeah. I think so, yeah. They said he had a huge depression in his mouth. They didn't completely do it well, but he survived.

So now we got electricity in the White House. This is late 1800s. Benjamin Harrison was the first president to have electricity, but he once got shocked. So he and his entire family were too scared to touch the light switches and would leave the lights on throughout the night. I would just leave them on. Yeah.

Yeah. They were too scared to touch it. But who knows? Back then, you probably would get electrocuted. Yeah. I don't think you would have someone that would do that for you. And just think, you don't know how not to. You might be like, get the metal pole.

Yeah. You might, you know, like, you don don't know give me that metal pole over there i ain't touching my hands give me that semiconductor yeah and just get lit up lights are always on at the white house can we we sleep with the lights off? Will you turn them off? Yeah. You got to sleep with a hay pillow over your eyes. They even had, I mean, I don't know. A hay pillow? Yeah, I don't know.

What was a pillow? I don't know. What was in it? That's a good question. Probably feathers. Yeah. But I mean, not like, I mean, it was like sleeping on feathers. Yeah, they didn't have memory foam.

Yeah. I'll look into this. I'll get back to you. All right. Looking up the history of pillows. William McKinley wore a carnation as a good luck charm, but one day he gave a little girl his carnation from his lapel and was shot by an assassin a short time later. I mean, assassins back then were just through the roof.

Yeah, just a good chance it was i mean you know just think it's so hard now like when you just don't you just don't hear about it like you know i i mean honestly you thought like if anybody's gonna get shot it'll be trump like you know yeah and it's just so hard to be, I think, to do now. And I mean, just to hear back then was just... All the time. I mean, you had to do... Like, Andrew Jackson had to handle it.

Like, you don't have bodyguard. They don't have... Secret Service is not even invented yet. And so you're just... That's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was almost expected. Theodore Roosevelt got shot during a campaign speech and finished the speech.

Yeah. No, no, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. He got shot in the chest, but his metal glasses slowed the bullet, and his days of hunting realized if he's not coughing up blood, he's probably okay. So he finished his 90-minute speech.

Told the folks, folks, I've been shot, but I don't care. Still did the speech. He was awesome. I mean, dude, everybody was shot. You just got shot. I mean, right there, every, I mean, what is it, like, 10 of them? Yeah, at least. Yeah.

I've skipped some. That have been shot. Yeah. Was every president shot? No, but there was a lot of attempts, and a few that succeeded. Jesus. Was every president shot? I didn't know Thomas Jefferson was shot.

Did you know that? Did I say that? Is that who you just said? No, Theodore Roosevelt. If I said Thomas Jefferson, I meant Theodore Roosevelt. No, no, you might have said Theodore Roosevelt. But Theodore Roosevelt, I didn't know he was shot. I didn't either.

I mean, going through this, it seems like every- Yeah, it's a lot more than i remember honestly dude every every president up to this point maybe they're they might all have like someone truly try to get them they've been around gunfire for sure yeah yeah i mean i think you could anybody could do it they were just it seems like they were kind of regular people yeah back then like it wasn't i were kind of regular people back then. Like it wasn't. I think most of them were like war veterans.

Yeah. Like a war hero. Yeah. He was the youngest president. He took over because McKinley was assassinated at age 42. There you go. I mean, then he immediately gets shot.

Yeah. He was 42. So he was your age president. John F. Kennedy was the youngest to be inaugurated at age 43, but was shot. Is Theodore Roosevelt, is that the way people say he's the best president? You might be thinking about Franklin D. Roosevelt. Could be. Yeah, Teddy Roosevelt was awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. The Bull Moose Party. was a roosevelt no man one of the yeah teddy roosevelt was awesome yeah yeah the bull moose party he set up all the national parks and stuff yeah he's the guy that speaks softly and carry a big stick yeah you heard that saying yeah yeah that was him and that was his philosophy he was awesome dude yeah the teddy bear comes from him there was a story about him refusing to shoot a bear on a bear cub on a hunting trip and toy makers thought, Oh, we should make a toy to honor it. So they call it the teddy bear. Huh?

That's a, such a big honor. Yeah. Like just to be a teddy bear is everybody says it. I don't think I've ever thought about it. So then the next guy that came along, um, William Howard Taft, he wanted to do the Billy Possum. But it did not have the same effect because his story was how he ate an entire possum during one meal.

There's Billy. And kids just did not get on board. That's amazing. Taft was the largest president at 350 pounds oh look at that look i mean it's so big of a guy 350 william taft was he he The one that was Couldn't walk or something Or was

He got There was a rumor That he got stuck In his bathtub And they had to pull him out But they think That's probably not true Yeah

I mean dude That's so funny for him Like that Billy Possum You're like Yeah who came up with that Him And you're like

Yeah yeah That's exactly who came up Because they did a teddy bear Dude that's Let's do a billy possum and you know what's the backstory you go all right but like why do we want to do that he goes i mean dude i've one time i ate an entire possum what this one meal i ate a you know a whole possum myself and you're like all, that's a little different.

I mean, do you know the story with Ted? He goes, I don't know. I've heard things, but I don't know what it is. Well, I'm saying it's different. It's different. Do you think people love possums? Do you love them? Do you want to snuggle with a possum? He goes, I do.

Of course you do. Billy Possum. Wow. That's so... I've eaten a whole possum before. I've eaten a whole... What would be a good animal? Do you hunt?

I like possum. I ate a whole possum once. Okay. William possum I ate a whole possum once Okay William possum Do they eat possums normally where you're from? No not really I didn't even know you could eat them But the fact that you ate a whole

That's something He didn't shoot a cub bear But You ate a whole possum And you think that You think that's the same You think you guys are the same Here's Taff

Picture of Taff playing golf Yeah He was the first president To throw out the first pitch At a baseball game Oh Really? Yeah

I'm guessing it didn't go well He could probably do that The next president Woodrow Wilson Was the first first golf-loving president. He loved it so much that he would even play in the wintertime in the snow and use black golf balls. Yeah. Is that not typically done?

Golf in the snow? No. No. I mean, I've played in the 40s before, maybe even in the 30s. They do it in, like like Michigan and stuff like that they're guys that will play in the snow but yeah it's not it's just too cold

Warren G. Harding played poker at the White House and he lost a bet one time and had to give up an entire set of official White House China in a poker game. And that's pretty good, though. You're playing with not your stuff.

You know what I mean? I'll be right back, guys. Right back. All in. Every time. It's Mary Lincoln Todd. You're going to win their money or you're going to... Mary Lincoln's Todd. This is her blouse that she wore.

No, the day before the. Yeah, yeah, not that day. So it's not that. He goes, no, I'm not crazy. He goes, you throw in a little bit more, I'll go get the, I'll get you Lincoln's at, you know what I mean? I mean, just, you're just getting stuff that doesn't... Whatever Garfield didn't sell in the garage show we had.

Who does the president play poker with? That's a good question. I don't know. Who do you think? I don't know. A bunch of... I don't know who they were probably around. They were probably around the military, basically.

I'm guessing if you're president, don't you every now and then want to be around people that don't care you're the president? I mean, it sounds like you are. Everybody's trying to kill you. I mean, you're actively being shot and then, I mean, it doesn't

sound like anything happens to these people that shoot at you. And then you have to finish doing what you are doing. Yeah. Like, I think, I mean, I don't know who cares. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, we haven't had many stories of respect shown.

No, none. Teddy Bear was the first, like, sign of respect. Yeah. I mean, someone wrote in, a little girl wrote in, Abraham Lincoln said, your face is stupid. And so he grew a beard like I don't there hasn't been an ounce of

love thrown one president's way I think you would want to play with that actually maybe respect you here's the one I forgot Grover Cleveland

with his 21 year old wife they had a baby and her name Ruth and the candy bar company Baby Ruth. I thought that was named after Babe Ruth. Most people do.

Most people are dumb. Most people are dumb like you Aaron. You are dumb. I felt embarrassed even telling it because I know Nate knows it. I thought it was after Mickey Mantle. His favorite baseball player was Babe Ruth.

That's how they got Baby Ruth. Calvin Coolidge made someone rub Vaseline on his head Every morning while he ate breakfast Supposed to help the skin This is when it made the turn Yeah Well not yet Herbert Hoover's son had two pet alligators

Who ran around the White House There's pictures of them I think There's a great story about Calvin Coolidge He was a very i don't know why i know this he was a real introvert and wouldn't talk much at parties and stuff people he just like wouldn't talk and there's this story of a woman who walks up to him and goes i have a bet with everybody at my table that i can get you to say at least three words tonight and he just looked at better and

goes you lose and then goes back to his meal that's pretty awesome that's great it's weird to think about a president like that now because now they have to be the exact opposite yeah you know now they have to be charming yeah to just be like a low-key no no charisma any of that no charisma any of that. That's fair. He said you can look up Hoover's alligators. My bad.

That's a cool story. That's a cool story. I don't know if I believe it at all either. I'm sure it happened. It is. No, that's a drawing. That's like when they picked alligator. That's a lion. What am I looking for?

I thought that first one was it. Pretty basic thing. The first one? Hoover's Alligators. No, that says alligator president hoover this yeah the one that nate immediately dismissed i thought it looks the leash because he's got him on leashes it does look fake and the leashes look fake well they're green and there's a black and white photo so i'm not sure yeah all right all right all right that's my bad let's go back to

calvin coolidge franklin d ro. Roosevelt was the first Coolidge story. Franklin D. Roosevelt was the first president to appear on TV during the 1939 World's Fair. Oh, in Knoxville? No, it was in New York. It was in the sphere. The sun sphere. The sun sphere.

He married his fifth cousin, Eleanor Roosevelt. She didn't have to change her name. That's convenient. Yeah. Yeah. Fifth, that's far enough down. Fifth's plenty far. Plenty, yeah.

I mean, I think they were probably all fifth cousins. Basically, you could almost argue. It's like, so all right. They're like, well, that's a bit much. All right, you may do my sixth cousin. That's all I know. Yeah. You're not too far.

I think that's as far as it went. Theodore Roosevelt was his fifth cousin also. Really? Yeah. I had a thing for him too. He's my first time. I'll skip one. James Buchanan was the only president

who never married. He and Alabama Senator William Rufus King lived together for more than 10 years, despite being rich enough to have their own homes. Andrew Jackson called them Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy. I mean, that's unbelievable dude oh my god dude that's i mean i'm from old hickory it's the town i've named after our town's named after that guy i mean just he sounds like he was ahead of his time, to be honest. Yeah. That's crazy, dude. Dwight Eisenhower put a golfing putting green in the White House.

Oh, nice. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. We're almost done. Yeah. Did you just look up a fact from every president? Yeah. Oh, okay.

I didn't think that's what we were going to do for you as president. I don't know what I thought. Yeah. So maybe talk about what we would do? Well, I mean, like when the Secret Service invented, when it was all that stuff. 1865, after I looked it up earlier. I mean, I looked up. There's some other stuff we might have to do in another episode.

I looked up the qualifications for president, obviously how tight security was. But these facts are so crazy, I wanted to share them. Yeah, I like them. Lyndon B. Johnson fought in World War II. He was on a plane that was about to take off, got off to go use the bathroom. His plane took off, he got on another plane,

but that first plane crashed and everyone died. Oh in world war ii yeah well he became president much later but he was fighting he wasn't yeah yeah he um played golf a lot and he was terrible and one historian said he would take up to 400 swings during an 18 hole round he just hit another one until he found what he liked. Wow. 400 strokes is a pretty bad day on the course, right? I mean, typical people want to break 100. But I don't. I mean, 400

is clearly, he's just taking a lot of balls. Just hitting a bunch of balls. So I mean, he probably shoots in the 70s. Well, if you take the best shot and just hit to your happy. Yeah. And if you're the president. Yeah. You kind of do whatever you want.

Right. Yeah. I mean, then they fought more like that's so crazy. These guys, cause we're going to eventually have presidents that are, you're like, they didn't do anything.

They went to school. That's it. Like, I mean, these are like, these presidents all had to like they were like crazy i mean who was the last president even george hw bush fought in a war he's probably the last one yeah which i'm not saying that should qualify them but it's like that's how many wars were

going on that's how much stuff they had to fight like you like presidents are eventually now just going to be like that's a smart dude. Yeah. Gerald Ford had two different assassins try to take his life within a span of 17 days. Both were women. It's kind of crazy. My earliest memory is that I can... Voting for Gerald Ford? That I can put a...

You're close. That I can put a date on. You're close. That I can put a date on. I remember going with my mom to the voting booth when she voted the 1976 election. Yeah. Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter. Yeah.

I was five. Yeah. Yeah. He never even, he was never elected, right? He was never elected president. Because Nixon resigned. Yeah. And then he lost. Yeah. Re-e was never elected president. Because Nixon resigned. Yeah, and then he lost re-election. He was never- Gerald Ford.

Yeah. I've been to his presidential museum in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Yeah. And it's pretty, he wasn't president very long. So they stretched some stuff out. Yeah, there's like a whole wing of just like, he played college football in Michigan. Yeah, he's a great athlete. He was a great athlete and all this weird, you know.

But the actual like what he did as president is like, I don't know, dude. Did he not do, because he's a pretty famous name. Yeah. Of president. I think we're just now getting into names, the recent history that we know. Yeah. I looked up the presidents when you guys were born. Do you know who the president was when you were born?

Jimmy Carter. Yeah. Yeah. Who's still's still alive yeah that's pretty crazy the president when you were born yeah hw yeah yeah 20 years later yeah we're not 20 15 yeah something like that and so and who you're friends with his grandson yeah no it was Nixon Richard Nixon yeah and who was your first when you voted the first time I could have voted I guess the

92 election yeah is that Bush Gore I guess the 92 election? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was that Bush-Gore? Or no?

No, it was Clinton. Clinton-Bush. Clinton-Bush Sr. Yeah. Bush Sr. Yeah. Yeah, because I want to say mine might have been, when are you, 98? Or when was it, 2000? 96 or 2000.

Bush-Gore, I guess maybe it could have been my first. Oh, in 2000? Yeah. Yeah, because I graduated high school in 97. So maybe I, yeah, that would have had to have been, right? Because 96. 96 was Clinton and Dole, but you would have been too young. Yeah.

I'd have been, maybe I was, my birthday's in March. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't feel like figuring it out. I know I didn't, but I think the first thing I could have voted was, like, yeah.

I'll do a couple more. Jimmy Carter, he's the longest living president of all time. He's 96. And he and his wife have been married almost 75 years.

Wow. The longest couple to ever be married. And he saw a UFO before he was president. Did he really? Did he talk about that on the campaign? I don't know if he talked about it on the campaign,

but he's talked about it. Yeah, you maybe wait until you've already been elected before you start talking about that. Yeah, thanks, you guys, for electing me. By the way, I saw a UFO. Here's why I'm really here. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this.

I bet he got to. People always say, he's like the president that you hear that most people have met him uh-huh well he up until recently maybe still does teach a sunday school class in georgia yeah yeah and habitat for humanity he's done so much humanitarian work since he's been president humanitarian work hey yeah it comes back yeah he's back around uh But they're, yeah, like he's, I think Hannibal has a joke about him, like where he would always shake everybody's hands. Yeah.

Like when he met, yeah, they seem just like nice. I mean, it's crazy that this picture looks not real. No, it doesn't. But, yeah. The last one, Ronald Reagan, he played a round of golf at Augusta National in 1983. An armed gunman drove his truck Through an entrance gate And took five hostages in the pro shop

Demanding to speak to Reagan Two hours later They negotiated with him The man was arrested No one was hurt But he served three years in prison Which seems short to me Yeah

Yeah It's pretty crazy Yeah Two hours later means he won And he goes We're going to finish the round. Yes. Like, we're not.

Because I'm playing great today. We better wrap this up. Does he have a gun? Does he not have a gun? You're like, eh. He's got like a big sword. And they go, all right, dude. One might let it.

It's Augusta. Yeah, it's Augusta. Augusta's the one you go, dude, it's Augusta. Yeah. The nerve's the one. You go, dude, it's Augusta. Yeah. The nerve of that guy, he should have got more years for the Augusta part than even the actual hostage part. The main thing we're doing is just you not being a dude enough to respect a day at Augusta.

Yeah. That's the problem. We're not. If we're at Winged Foot, I get it. I get it, dude. We're at Pebble Beach. I understand. Yeah. That's the problem. We're not, you know, if we're at Winged Foot, I get it. I get it, dude. We're at Pebble Beach. I understand. You bring a boat up, you start shooting people.

I get it. Augusta, you leave that day alone. Yeah. Even if you're Ronald Reagan, you leave that day alone. All right. That's it? Yeah. I was going to ask.

I mean, obviously, none of us are qualified to be president. Our wives are more qualified. So if we were the first gentleman, what would be our cause? Like, everyone has a cause. Oh, interesting. Yeah, why can't we be president? Well, I was just, all right, we can, I guess. I just thought it would be easier to have a cause.

Literacy? Huh? Gout? Gout awareness? Might as well be ageism. Yeah, ageism. Fighting for, because other countries

respect elderly. So what were the first ladies? So Melania's was cyberbullying. Michelle Obama's was childhood obesity. Laura Bush's was childhood literacy, right? I think so.

I think. So then yours would be age discrimination. Yes, that's the one discrimination everybody's fine with. Everything else has been shut down. Yeah, gout awareness.

Rabies. Scurvy. I'm like, let's figure that out. Yeah, I don't know what I would... My calls. Literacy? Or illiteracy? Like not being able to read?

Yeah, but helping people. Well, I don't even know if I have dyslexia. No, I know. We don't know if he has gout, but I think you should be fighting for it. Yeah, who has more signs for which? I think we both have a pretty good case.

I think we're both going in the doctor's office. We're both going to have a talking to. We got enough of the signs that it's worth seeing somebody. He turned around. If he heard you describing your gout and then heard me reading, the doctor would look around and go, we could, yeah. Tell him I got an appointment available. I'd love to talk to him.

I don't know. I don't know what my call is. I don't like it being literacy. Well, I'll sprinkle that on you. You could be president and we'll be first gentlemen. Aunt Nancy and Miss Fancy. I like that. That'll be us.

Oh, I got a fun one. If you're the president, you can decorate the Oval Office. You can put whatever you want in there. Any item from any museum ever, you just go get it. So what would be a cool thing that you would want in your office? I mean, it can be literally anything. That T-Rex. Yours look good.

Don't they have the big T-Rex? Oh, the big one from like the Smithsonian? Yeah, you can get that. The Chicago Film Museum? Yeah. I don't know if it fit in the whole office. I guess if you broke it all down. So I can't get whatever I want that's what i would do it for that okay so i just to be clear so i can't so not everything so not everything and they go well i guess we thought that'd be

obvious you go did we this whole thing is kind of ridiculous yeah so i thought I would ask I put the sun sphere I get that and move that To the White House lawn Football sign for the 1997 Vanderbilt football team But it's crazy you think like any painting What's some examples that they've done it You're like some president

I want George Washington's portrait Right here to remind me of A trait that I find admirable in him. But that was already in the White House, right? Yeah. Well, maybe, maybe not. Does anybody bring in Jordan sneakers? You could, theoretically, yeah.

I mean, if the president's like. I don't know if any of this is true. No, if the president's like, I want this in my office. This is from the West Wing, so it's it's gotta be that's where calvin coolidge story came to here we go it's gotta be yeah come on you can get whatever you want a 1400 block pound block of cheese yeah get the big block of cheese day the couch from all in the family i want my world leaders to be sitting on that couch and i laugh at them and they go what's so funny you go you're never i don't think you're gonna get it but that couch is so funny that you're sitting on it that'd be awesome yeah

that yeah i don't know if i believe that at all uh all right me either yeah i think it's i'm pretty sure that's true i just sometimes i'll think something's true. I talk about it on the podcast, and I lose a lot of confidence in it. And I got to go back and do it. I think that's a good thing. And that's it, everybody. All right. We'll see you next week. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Bye. thanks everybody for listening to nateland podcast be sure to subscribe to our show on itunes spotify you know wherever you listen to your podcasts and please remember to leave us a rating or comment nateland is produced by me nate bargetti and my wife laura on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.