The Nateland Podcast - #49 Nothing
Episode Date: June 2, 2021On this week's episode of the Nateland Podcast, the guys discuss nothing in particular. Aaron recaps his wedding, Brian shares his car problems which led to a wet weekend, and Nate talks about playing... golf with Larry The Cable Guy. Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber) Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates.
Welcome everybody. I feel like my voice is tired. Feels tired.
Yeah.
You know, I think I was starting to lose it.
Your voice? Yeah, I'm not losing it it but it was like it just felt tired yeah uh
it was a big long weekend a bunch of shows stuff i don't know it sounds it does doesn't sound tired
like it sounds you know uh but it is it is what it is you know did you say two out of three men lose their hair?
I think we got one of us nailed down.
Someone else.
Someone else.
So, yes.
Thank you, everybody, for listening.
As always, let's start with some
comments from YouTube,
Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews,
and email nateland at
natebargutsy.com.
Audra Mayberry.
Hello, folks.
Right off the bat, starts off the comments about the wrestling episode
and mentions the famous wrestler Under the Taker.
I saw someone post that, and I mean, no one called it in here.
Well, no, it's such a weird thing to do that we didn't think.
Under the Taker.
I mean, it was five minutes into the podcast.
Yeah.
That was the name of the guy that wrestled him with just the red trunks,
because that's where he was the whole time.
You were under the Taker.
That's what someone would have tried.
His friends would have said that.
You should go by Under the Taker.
What's that? Well, you were under the undertaker the whole time but i've never been
able to so clearly like see the thought process like you start saying undertaker and then you
remember it's the yeah under the taker instead of starting over you're just like i'll just throw the
yeah don't go back the middle it's just getting everything in there you know
it's like when you forget to pack something in your car and then you're like you know you're
like ah the pillows you just jam them at the top but they're in there don't repack just yeah
throw it in there just put them in there under the take ben patterson when aaron said appleness
nate gave him a stare like mich Scott gave Toby when he asked him,
why are you the way that you are?
Apple-ness.
Why did you say apple-ness?
You said what makes an apple an apple.
Oh, apple-ness.
He did have to look like Michael Scott.
Why are you the way you are?
Because of the apple-ness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what they would say in philosophy.
Right.
Yeah. Jose. Yeah. That's what they would say in philosophy. Right. Yeah.
Jose Vinta.
One time my family went to Disney with my grandma,
who was pretty old at the time.
It was time to go to the Tower of Terror ride,
and I'm scared of rides that drop.
So I told my family that I would stay back,
keeping grandma company, to which grandma replied,
I'll go.
Then my family motioned everyone to go so i said they
could go ahead and i'll stay behind the grandma's wheelchair so i sat there on the wheelchair and
a couple who asked me if i was okay i guess a lonely teenager in a wheelchair with no family
around is caused for concern anyways my grandma survived and we used her wheelchair to cut in line
the rest of the afternoon i had the uh same thing my grandmother uh rode uh
like that that ride yeah i don't know if it was that one but it was one uh i mean she was
at the time like in her 70s and she and she was down like we had we had people that didn't want
to ride it and then she was like i'll go and she rode it is that tower of terror ride just like an
elevator that just drives yeah i've done it yeah you just kind of Terror ride just like an elevator that just drops? Yeah, I've done it.
Yeah, you just kind of go up, and then it goes out, then just drops.
Straight down?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I don't like that at all.
You don't like going straight down?
No, I don't like going down.
The elevator's too fast.
I get weirded out sometimes.
Yeah.
I was just in Miami.
We had the elevator.
It was really fast, very fast.
I liked it because it's very quick.
Right before we get on the elevator, this other group is on.
Because you're still like, are people getting on?
I mean, sometimes you can tell people don't care.
But when it opens up and you're like, oh, I won't have –
you're sitting there without your mask on.
And then that door opens and there's one person with a mask on
and two don't.
And that one is just mortified.
And you have to let a lot of them go.
But I hear the guy, he's explaining to the other two people
as they get in the elevator, he goes, he said,
yeah, I got elevated this one time, third floor,
just dropped all the way to the bottom.
And he's like, beep, beer.
And then they go in.
And you're like, why would you tell that story?
That is like, just tell it when you get out. Yeah, exactly. After you're like why would you tell that story that is like just tell it
when you get out yeah exactly after you're done with it yeah i mean i didn't want to get on the
elevator then but i mean that guy yeah he said he has one just dropped from the third floor from
third floor i mean that can't hurt too bad three floors is a lot i was gonna say that's a pretty
high up man and i'm sure there's something in an elevator that makes it,
like there's got to be something grabbing it.
I don't think it's a clean cut.
There's just so many cords back there.
But he said it dropped.
I always think about time in the jump.
You jump right before it hits.
I don't think that would do anything.
You'd still hit the ground. I bet it'd be hard to get up.
Because I feel like the forces are going down so quick that it'd be hard to.
Yeah, even if you jump up, you're still going down at the speed that the accelerator.
And then you don't know where the floor is at.
I mean, you'd have to have a number.
The number has to be like three, two, one.
And then you jump in.
I was at a pretty old comfort inn this weekend.
It was the slowest elevator I've ever seen in my life i mean
there's only three floors it would take forever just you're like are there just multiple people
getting on it and it's like no it's just creeping yeah yeah that's elevators are you know claustrophobia
you feel it a little bit like i always just think if i get stuck in one it's like i mean i always
think about that sometimes you uh i'll think's like, I mean, I always think about that.
Sometimes I'll think about, like, getting elevated,
there'll be, like, three people.
What if we got stuck in here forever and we have to start over?
Like, I'm just looking at all of us.
Like, who's going to be the leader?
Right.
Three of us on an elevator locked in there.
It's never like the movies where, in the movies,
there's always, like, panels.
You slide open and crawl. I've never seen that in a real elevator
I look up to see if you could open one
but there
it's
I mean Dwight
in the office when they got in he peed in the corner
immediately
in the first 30 seconds
he was grabbing his corner
I always think with claustrophobia too too, like if I got stuck in there,
like say it's like four people in there that you don't know.
It's like I didn't have to tell those four people like,
hey, just heads up, guys, I got claustrophobia,
and it's just a ticking time bomb.
I'm going to lose it.
I'd have to quickly say that.
I mean, then you just probably elevate the stress of the whole
elevator right right i feel like don't you think everybody would get some degree of claustrophobia
on an elevator like that for a while but yeah but i'm rolling in hot like i mean i'm you know
i almost had it when everything was normal you're preheating yeah and then so it's like i'm coming
in quick and so i it would be very tough.
You know, you got to explain.
I guess you have to tell everybody.
You know, just let them know.
I mean, we didn't get into it last week on those theme parks,
but there's cases people get trapped on rides, like upside down.
Yeah.
I've seen the videos.
There's some that get stuck at the very top.
I think like just we're about to go over the
hill and they're just up there and they're up there for a long time hanging upside down yeah
i don't think anyone has been hanging up or there was one i had last week we got they were upside
down about 30 minutes oh really oh wow some on the side oh my gosh dude and that's enough to make
you not yeah you know it's like if someone doesn't
want to ride one you're like well that does happen it doesn't happen a lot yeah but it
happened but it's not a crazy thing to worry about it shouldn't i mean your your odds i always like
thinking some stuff with those odds of stuff like that you're it's almost like if you look at it
backwards you're like you'd have to be pretty lucky to get on the one ride that hangs out upside down it's kind of narcissistic
yeah like it's gonna be me of course yeah yeah yeah you have to be because if you think of it
like that you're like what are the uh like say if you're riding that roller coaster and you're like
i'll give you a million dollars if you're the one that gets stuck upside down.
I mean, there's people that do it, but the odds of you doing that are pretty low that you get to be on that one.
Yeah.
You know?
So I think that with like airplanes.
What are the odds?
You're the one that goes down.
I mean, it's just like, you know, I mean, now if you're in it, you're like, oh.
Then you're like, I won.
Yeah. So then as it goes down, you're at least positive attitude going.
I did it.
I did it.
I can't believe I was the one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all worth it.
Melissa Miles.
Nate's short rant about the inappropriate use of let's go is my favorite Nate rant to date.
My 12-year-old says it while watching Clemson football, but he also says it when I bring
home his favorite snack from the grocery store. A year old saying it is like that's who should
be saying right right like I would I understand as a parent that you I would be like all right
let's calm it down uh where did I hear it oh uh I was watching a golf thing uh with keegan bradley looks like like players lessons they have a great thing
on golf channel uh and he said let's go he had a shot he goes let's go the people i don't they
they they do they just don't know they're saying it yeah it's like they're saying it so much
that it's you know let's go like oh god it's so so 12 year olds okay when are you when are you supposed to grow out of it you
think when do you stop you so it should be about done so tell him let him know he can get it all
out now yeah i feel like he done at 13 melissa was using him as a he was a role model yeah now
you're like it's okay you're 12 well i'll tell you he's got till 13 13 it's got to be a wrap
you can't be doing that no more you gotta come up with your 13. 13, it's got to be a wrap. He can't be doing that no more.
You got to come up with your own phrase.
That's what you got to do.
Just come up with your own thing.
See if that can catch on.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's Go has been, you know.
Beat to death, for sure.
I mean, it's unreal.
And it's over.
I mean, Tom Brady says it.
And then everybody thinks, well, I should say it too.
I've never ran on it i've
never ran like it's like you know it's yeah it's yeah i don't know it's tough sarah rap
nate it is elephant shoes not elephant foot elephant shoes yeah what else and don't wear
i love you say i love you yellow used to say olive juice yeah
that was ours people commented that too uh-huh and they said that what does that look like
yeah i think you said i love you i thought you said olive juice uh
that's what i was can you imagine if you did that and someone knows that you're saying olive juice and you're going,
you're like,
just say it,
dude.
Why can't you say all of it?
He goes,
I don't have any,
by the way,
you can't just buy all of this.
I guess it's in all of us already.
That's where you,
so I guess you can buy it.
You just buy all of us.
And then there's the,
all of the juices in there.
Yeah.
Do people drink?
I know pickle juice.
People drink,
do people drink all of juice? I don't know. there's the olive juice. The juice is in there, yeah. Do people drink? I know pickle juice people drink. Do people drink olive juice?
I don't know.
There's not much juice in it.
They're packed in pretty tight.
Yeah.
Not a lot of juice in there.
Just water.
I don't think it's specifically.
Yeah, it's not a special kind of.
Sonny Collins, has anyone verified that the dad scoring tickets for his son
who made good grades is not Gary Veeder's dad?
Now the guy is asking for a ticket for his wife.
When's it going to end?
Could be Gary Veeder's dad.
He's back in the system.
We'll let you know if he asks for money.
That will be the sending over the edge.
Main gang.
Main gang.
Main gang.
Main gang.
Fun fact, Spielberg's people approached the makers of M&M's about using them in the film.
They declined, which is why it's Reese's Pieces in the film.
Big mistake.
Big mistake.
M&M, they would have done a lot better if they would have made it.
I mean, I'll be honest.
M&M might be like, yeah, we're fine.
Yeah, we're fine.
Reese's Pieces are... Reese's Pieces are...
It's not the go-to snack.
No.
Eminem has showed Spielberg.
Yeah.
A few people pointed out that you called them Reese's Pieces.
Yeah, Reese's Pieces.
Instead of Reese's Pieces.
Oh.
But I think that's a Southern thing. Reese's Pieces. I mean Reese's Pieces instead of Reese's Pieces. Oh. But I think that's a Southern thing, Reese's Pieces.
I mean, my grandmother said that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like I kind of say that too, Reese's Pieces.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're not giving them.
There's someone named Reese that's like, no, they're mine.
They're my pieces.
They're my pieces.
And you're like, no, they're Reese's Pieces.
We're watching E.T. tonight.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah, because Harvard's starting to want to watch some movies with real people.
Yeah.
It's a cartoon.
She's like, you always show me cartoons.
That's good.
And so we said, all right, we'll show E.T.
First movie I saw at a movie theater.
It's crazy.
You drove me one. You want to see me
With real people
So we'll show you one
With an animatronic
Alien
What didn't we cover last week
It came out when you were three
Yeah
Yeah
Brandon Chapel
The Nate Land theme park
Would have a deal
That costs ten dollars a month for a
season pass.
But the only way to cancel it would be to go to Aaron land,
which is located inside the Nate land park,
but nobody can seem to find it.
I like that a lot.
That's great.
Yeah.
Uh,
uh,
my buddy,
Justin,
uh,
text me and said the whole,
uh,
the whole theme park would be leg day.
So it's all just gradually uphill.
And so by the time you get to the end of it,
you don't realize it was leg day until the next day you wake up.
You're like, my legs are killing me today.
It was leg day.
It's all leg day.
It's all leg day.
The whole thing's leg day.
Matt Parrish, at the Nate Land theme park,
there would have to be a ride or game called
Don't Shake That Baby in One Fail Swoop.
Yeah, that'd be good ones.
How would the game Don't Shake That Baby work?
They give you a baby that's crying.
Yeah.
And you just see how long you can go without shaking it.
Yeah, I guess so.
I bet it'd be something like the baby's asleep
and you shake it and it cries.
It's the only way for the ride, I guess.
Because, I mean, it'd be pretty tough to play a game
that's like, so the baby's crying the whole time
and you're like, well, I don't want to.
And that'd be a brutal game.
That would be the challenge.
The challenge is like, it's just crying
and you got to make sure it doesn't, you don't shake it.
This is the worst.
Yeah.
It's the worst game ever.
If you go two minutes without shaking it, you get a stuffed teddy bear.
Yeah.
Two, imagine you guys sitting in a rocking chair and it's just welling.
You've just got a litter of kids, like babies there.
You just pick one up.
Imagine that.
You've got to pay that guy more that runs that.
Dude, that's –
Imagine that guy that –
He drew the short straw that day.
He has to run.
That's like worse than if you run.
It's a small world.
They always say like those who work there, like it's just all day that.
I mean, imagine just babies crying and you got to sit there
and you got to make sure.
That would be a fun theme.
Like, I mean, just imagine going to that,
like and you're explaining that ride to somebody
or that game to somebody.
You're like, how do you play that?
You're like, you know, I don't know,
but you end up playing it a few times.
Yeah.
It's addictive.
Yeah.
I mean, because the cry has to just keep getting elevated.
Then we have the baby hit you.
The whole time you're getting hit with those foam.
You know, in football, how they always hit them with the foam?
Oh, yeah.
Bats.
Trying to knock the ball out.
Like, we just have that, too.
The guy has to walk around just hitting people.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Baby crying. All you got to do is stop this shake that baby
shaking baby goes up in the county like in real life they do this they do the stats
now we're in uh we have to ask what the source was and where those stats come from. It's a lawsuit going on.
Pull up a graph of it.
Yeah, here's a chart.
Here's a chart of how many babies are being shook.
Greg Cannon, on every new ride at Nate Land theme park,
there's a lady that leans over a guy and says to you,
hey, you need to cut your phone off.
Yeah, you know, I always get asked.
That's an old joke.
People ask if I ever
found that lady
and I did not.
I bet she found you.
Yeah.
I hope so.
I've got another joke
now in my new hour
where it's another lady
that did something.
See if we can find her.
It'd be interesting to see.
I mean,
we found that,
did we talk about that?
The Cape Fear Serpentarium. Did we ever tell that part we found the kid that had to get bit by the snake
you used to tell in your act yeah uh yeah so like yeah the cape fear joke where the
the snake the guy the kid got bit by the snake but i can't remember the snake now. Gaboon Viper? Yeah, Gaboon Viper.
And we found the story about that kid.
And so the doctor actually emailed me.
The guy that was the doctor.
That's why it's fun to do these jokes.
Because it's like he gets out.
And then people are like, hey.
And that doctor emailed and said that kid, he got on the bus with the snake in the bag.
And he was white or whatever it does to him.
And the bus driver knew about snakes, was into snakes, and could tell something was up.
And then was like, what was it?
And then looked at the snake and was like, yo, dude, you got to go to the hospital like now like you're gonna die
and uh and i think the bus might have drove him to the hospital and then the doctor worked on
him that day and then that that kid just ended up still not he didn't get it together after that
let's just say i don't know i mean the kid's probably still alive but he was he just got in
trouble he like i think didn't went to jail much later for stealing a car like oh really yeah Let's just say. I don't know. I mean, the kid's probably still alive, but he just got in trouble.
He, like, I think didn't went to jail much later for stealing a car.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It wasn't like that stopped him.
He just, you know, he knew what he was doing.
He's like, this is what I do, man.
He's like, I mean, just.
Cost of doing business, dude.
Cost of doing, yeah.
Get bit by a snake sometimes and just keeps rolling sally ann jones i was one
of disney world's first princess anna character performers i think there were only like eight of
us playing the role when i started so i was part of the insane frozen craze of that year i was
cracking up when y'all were talking about the divide between the old characters
and the new characters, because that was totally true when I was there. Anna and Elsa were the,
like the stuff with lines up to eight hours back then. However, most performers play more than one
character. I performed as Ariel as well. So I wouldn't say it's too hostile between the old and new.
Princesses really do love their jobs, and it was really hard for me to leave it to go back to college.
I do feel so lucky to have been able to make magic for so many folks from all around the world.
Yeah, she was in it.
I mean, that was the top, you know?
Your daughter may have met her.
Yeah, yeah.
the top you know your daughter may have met her yeah yeah i mean yeah i bet i mean her whole you just got people just telling her like we were there i think when you were there do you remember
us at all and she's like i mean all these kids just blend in yeah she's like i don't i remember
one kid and with all of your faces yeah and not and not for good reasons, probably. Yeah. Yeah, he threw up on me or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's got to be fun, though.
You're just seeing these.
I mean, you just.
Just making people's years, dude.
Oh, every kid.
Every kid that comes up is like, you're hurt.
And then you're like, yeah.
Yeah, I am.
I am hurt.
Yeah, yeah. Chris Ramsey.
Kings Island had a meal plan where you can eat a meal every few hours
at a number of the in-park restaurants.
My buddy lived and worked just a few miles away from the park,
so he bought a Kings Island pass as well as an annual meal plan.
He would drive to Kings Island on his lunch break as well as after work
to eat for free.
I always thought he was a genius until he eventually developed gout.
This took a turn.
Which I attributed to his theme park calorie intake.
Caloric.
Sneaks up on you, man.
Caloric?
Caloric, yeah.
I don't know what that is.
It's calories.
Well, why would you not say that?
Because it's used as an adjective in that sentence.
You know?
Oh, man.
Did you know Chris Ramsey?
Did y'all run in the same circles?
Caloric intake.
No, I know his buddy, though, who has gout, for sure.
Which I attribute to his theme park
calorie intake you couldn't say calorie intake there you could say intake of calories or you
can say caloric to his theme park intake of calories oh caloric what like makes you like
with a word like calorie and then you're like all right great
we're done with that word and then someone's like yeah what if we use it a different way
you're like oh just put a c on the end of it then like just caloric is there just a c
we'll just say caloric then okay all right that works next word and then they type right that out uh yeah out of caloric
it's pretty smart though going to his buddy using caloric no not using caloric i'm less impressed
with that than you are i think but yeah i would have done exactly what this guy i would go there
that makes unbelievable sense i used to live with a guy who would go to the movie theater
not buy a ticket he'd just go shop at the concession stand oh yeah and then take it home
he would just show up at home with like a it's the most expensive with an extra large he just
loved movie theater popcorn okay yeah so he'd come home with an extra large popcorn i guess
you see a movie he goes no you just go in use the concession stand you'd never think to do that ever you know well it depends on where they got that
line at yeah where the ticket usually it's outside before you get your ticket pulled yeah yeah so you
i feel like they caught on to that guy and then they just moved those people up a little further
is it different now yeah i mean if you go it depends yeah i it's it varies
so there's you there's some where you can tell you can't get to concessions until you give them
the ticket hollywood or uh hollywood 27 and opry mills opry mills was like oh opry mills you had
to do that but that's in a mall so i bet they're trying to you know i bet there's a you know there's
maybe a few of this yeah and then uh some some of them, yeah, you can have,
like the guy is right in front of the theaters.
I feel like it depends on how many theaters they have.
Like if it kind of gets kind of wild back there,
and they got to be able to stop it.
They got to stop you at some point.
They have multiple ones some places too.
They have another smaller one out there.
Why would they care though if he did that?
I don't know.
It seemed like
they would encourage it.
Yeah,
if you want to spend
$8 on a tub of popcorn.
Yeah.
Nobody ever stopped him.
I bet you could tell him,
hey,
I'm just won this popcorn
and I'm going to leave.
And then they would,
I mean,
but it's not like,
that would work
if the owner
was taking the tickets
and he's like
looking for the money.
It's a kid.
Yeah.
That's like,
yeah,
you can't do that. And the owner's like, dude, let him. He has to talk to him and he's like looking for the money it's a kid yeah that's like yeah you can't do that and the owner's like dude let him he has to talk to him he's like let him in dude
yeah dude we don't care we don't god it was eight dollars yeah cost us one cent to make yeah
they uh we used to go see movies two movies that was a big comic thing i feel i think it's a big
everybody's thing during the day day? During the day.
Like you would do it all
the time. You just go sneak in. I remember
I saw Paul Blart.
We went
to...
I feel like I was with my buddy
Dustin, who's with me in Naples,
Florida, coming up
in two weeks.
But he did... We would go and we'd see one movie.
And then we went to, we were like, I have to sneak in and do Paul Blart too.
And so then we would just go walk into Paul Blart and sit and watch that.
But it was, that movie was sold out.
And two people had to sit on the stairs.
Because you had their seats.
Yeah, because we had their seats.
And I mean, I'm just not, I was like, we got to go.
That's good. It's's fine we're already in like you know they know someone's yeah didn't pay for
these tickets and so it's like you're like you got to just act like you're there and i mean i
think we were too old i think we were just too old too old to be doing that we're too old to be doing
that and too old to be where they're not going to come up to us because it's like well those guys
are in their 30s yeah watching ball yeah like they are clearly they clearly bought tickets and been waiting for
this day we just looked like paul blart was made for us yeah yeah you know if it's like teenagers
you're like well that's something's up yeah uh but there yeah we used to that would always go see
uh we don't you don't go see movies. Go see a couple of them.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe.
Y'all never did that?
You ever sit through the same movie twice in a row?
Oh, God.
No.
I didn't know.
So that could be worse.
But it's happening.
What movie?
Braveheart.
I remember Lord of the Rings. The third lord of the rings we did that
one time a three-hour movie yeah it was pretty long you did six it was a full day yeah what did
you want to see do you liked it so much it was a great movie man yeah i don't think i ever watched
them they're pretty good yeah no i bet they are. Again, I think my age was kind of just like.
Yeah, I was in third or fourth grade, fourth or fifth.
And your family stayed?
Everybody stayed?
No, I went with a group of friends.
Yeah.
They just dropped you off and y'all went in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good times, man.
You told your parents beforehand?
You're like hey
we're gonna stay
for twice
no I don't think I did
we didn't have cell phones
so they just kinda
how were you getting home
like
you're in third grade
I mean that is Harper's
I think
fourth or
it's like Kramer's pants
yeah
how are you gonna get home
it's probably more like
fourth or fifth grade
when that third
I'm still
nine ten years old
you have one parent
that'll give everybody a ride
and still we just get rides home yeah you know
yeah i mean you're so you're nine ten years old you said you don't think harper could duck out to
the movie theater and watch nine in a month uh i don't think we're gonna drop drop her off. I mean, I get the idea of dropping her off,
but I think you've got to be teenagers before you really –
even if I'm going to come pick them up,
I could see like even if you go pick them up and you're like,
hey, we're going to drop you off,
and they're like just call us on the pay phone or something
when it's time to come.
But I would – could you walk home?
I think we had a buddy that lived next
to the movie theater we could walk to and from his place and go from there it's a pretty big
pretty big uh thing to forget about well i don't know if he did that all the time but
but that would make sense that was an option yeah an option would be if you got a buddy that lives
nearby so y'all went to his house and then we'd go over you could go home right we could yeah yeah
yeah how much for movies when you were a kid quarter i mean we'd go the
matinee it'd be like a dollar fifty
and in lebanon the matinee went to like five yeah now if it's after two they're like no
it's like one movie yeah yeah man i even have trouble always getting to the matinees especially
on the road because it's always like 11 or news and you're like not really up and running around
by the end and so like a matinee is pretty tough you always go to like you have to go like a two
like a two a nice two o'clock movie two's great yeah nice two o'clock movie on the road. Two's great. Yeah.
At two o'clock.
Yeah.
No one's in there.
Pretty fun.
I just remember before the internet, you had no way of knowing what movies were even showing at the local movie theater.
I think the newspaper listed it, but you would call and there would be an answer.
Just some guy who worked there would record a message telling you the names and the movies
and the times they're playing.
So you better have a pen ready or you're going to have to start all over
and call back.
Yeah.
That's the Seinfeld.
Yeah, the movie phone.
5-5 Phil.
Yeah, this was before movie phone.
This was just some guy.
I'm like literally someone who works there.
Yeah, every morning he had a –
Like once a week, like probably every Friday morning.
Yeah.
You know, they book those
i mean i we've learned it in the drive-ins movie theaters like they have there's agents
that like have movies and be like hey we want you our movie to come to your place and that's how
they like get and they get them in and in the theater the drive-ins specifically have to like
be like we don't want it you know or it it's not going to do well here or something.
And this one, I remember, because in Louisville, the guy had,
I mean, they were just begging him to take stuff.
And he was doing live shows that he was like, I'm doing shows.
He's like, I can't, you know.
It's like, I got this going on.
We don't have the room for it.
He knows who his customers are.
He's like, this movie won't do well here.
Yeah, yeah.
But drive-ins would have trouble getting movies because they want them on as many screens as possible.
And so driving is only one screen.
And so it's like, well, you got to play there.
But then with the pandemic, movies are closed,
so it was all drive-ins.
So it was like just trying to get these movies
at these drive-ins
I hope drive-ins
get
stay
popular
yeah me too
like it's like people
I hope people
realize what they were
and now are like
oh yeah
this is great
and then just go
you know
it's such a fun
it's when we watched
Halloween wasn't it
yeah
yeah
it was awesome
it was great
Michael Deal
Michael Deal you Michael Deal.
You are going to die when you hear this name.
Megan Deal.
I don't know what.
Megan.
Deal.
D-E-E-L.
Megan.
Sorry, Megan.
And that was.
I'm sorry.
We should start putting the comments on the screen
so people can read along and yeah figure out in real time what we're trying to do that uh yeah
megan yeah i mean michael i'm sorry this is my buddy michael i'm sorry megan this is my buddy
megan oh hey uh That was a turn.
In high school, I was at Kings Island with my dad, brother, and cousin.
My dad lost his keys early in the afternoon on a ride.
They told us we could look for them when the park closed.
When was that at?
Midnight.
We wandered around freezing until the park closed, only to find out we had to sit outside the front gate until the workers searched the ride.
They did again and again no luck meanwhile we sat alone outside in the cold next to the spooky music speakers and a fake guy dying in the electric chair every five minutes
eventually they told us they couldn't find them and all the park employees left
security gave us phone numbers to taxis that didn't pick up out there and we left and left too
we were stranded and left completely alone outside we ended up calling 911 for a ride
to a hotel years later the single car ended up in our mailbox the single car key ended up in
our mailbox in kentucky without the rest of the key set. Worst night of my life. The fact that they found them.
Yeah.
I wonder how the person knew how to find them.
If you find a single car key, their address,
maybe it was written on the key or something?
Yeah.
I almost don't believe it, Michael.
Yeah.
You don't believe that they got the key?
No.
Security gave us, yeah years later the single car key ended up in our mailbox in kentucky without the rest of the
key set i'd like someone did it as a joke or something they probably told that story and i
believe all like the hanging out yeah that's crazy yeah it is crazy what a terrible day i mean just
think like back then to know there's nobers. There's none of that stuff.
Like, it's, you know, it's crazy.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, you're just, you had to call.
Yeah, I mean, like, taxis were, you didn't even know that they were a thing.
Like, outside of New York.
Like, I mean, yeah.
Someone that's, like, if you met someone in any town,
basically outside of New York, and you were like, I started a taxi company,
you'd be like, why?
Who's taking them?
I mean, you know, at the airport, I guess, they've been rolling.
That's about it, though.
That's about it.
Yeah.
Maybe people used them more.
I mean, I remember people saying they were going to call a taxi,
but I don't ever yeah we took a taxi from your tour bus aaron and i from pigeon forge to knoxville
and i think that was like one car in all of pigeon forge that that just was did it they
didn't have uber or lyft they had one company it was one lady it was named after her yeah just one car yeah and she just got everybody around in that
town i guess yeah yeah all right uh this week uh we're actually doing some little different
we have uh no topic no topic we'll see if we can just do it without it yeah i have i doubt it
do you feel better about it now versus yeah we should save it for the end to say that
no no i like going i like let them know uh i like to see what's going to happen uh you know
we've had a lot going on and uh a lot of stuff's happened so we're like you know that's what this
is about it's about trying things.
Yeah.
We should be able to do a podcast without having to have a topic.
The topic is just to have the jokes and stuff like that.
So we don't always, this is, it's not like even just trying it,
but it's like, you know, let's talk about us, you know.
We had a big weekend.
I mean, to start off, Aaron Weber is a married man.
Yep.
Congratulations.
Married man.
Yeah.
Already dressed in the part.
We, they, I mean, you know, used to be big jackets, fun, now camouflage hat.
Hey.
Carhartt sweater.
Trying to get on y'all's level jeans yeah yeah jeans are a big
thing yeah kramer was a big change for me i didn't wear jeans probably 12 years and then now i just
got three pairs of jeans nice yeah at the uh there's a wedding gift no so someone said welcome
welcome to marriage here's some jeans.
I always just wore khakis.
I did that for a long time.
Yeah.
And I was like, I think it's time, dude.
Khakis, I wore khakis a lot.
I remember khakis were cool. I wore them.
I wanted to wear some on stage, too.
I'll go back to some khakis.
Khakis are fun.
I always wore them.
It was a very Southern thing to wear khakis. Yeah. Khakis are fun. I always wore them. Like, it was a very Southern thing to wear khakis.
Yeah.
I think.
Because you wear khakis in a T-shirt.
And that was like a, I think that's pretty Southern.
Khaki shorts.
You're a khaki shorts guy, too?
Yeah, yeah.
But really, it was the khaki pants.
People would wear khaki pants in a T-shirt.
I remember when I was in high school, that was a big. We had to wear khaki pants on uh i think we could wear jeans we had to wear khakis
on wednesday you had to wear like a tie but uh but we khakis and a t-shirt was a big yeah yeah i wore
khakis dude every day those were the only pants i'd wear and they were not flattering they didn't they didn't lucy would always be like uh you got to get pants that actually fit you yeah i was like
these do fit she's like no they don't fit the right way yeah then i went and got some jeans
that's but these are i guess these fit more correctly than my old pants did feels good
you didn't buy them in a three-pack no yeah no it went to the mall went to the store. I mean, don't you have to buy new clothes now because you've lost so much weight?
That was a big part of it, too, yeah.
Now they definitely don't fit right.
They look real weird.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
You have lost a ton of weight, dude, from the beginning of this podcast to when I saw it the other day.
And it's a pretty—
It's pretty noticeable from the side yeah yeah
for sure yeah yeah you've done it in a short amount of time really right yeah i guess just
a few months what did you do i i intermittent fasting i guess but i was pretty loose with it
because i knew if it was too strict that i wouldn't yeah. But just kind of four hours a day. That's the window that I had to eat.
It's your feeding window?
It's my feeding window.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I said that to someone the other day.
It's like a feeding window.
I think some people say it like that.
My feeding window.
Your feeding window.
It just sounds like you're dumping it in a trough somewhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I kind of do that four hours different part of the day depending on what i
got going on yeah and then i think the biggest thing was just not eating fast food dude yeah
because i was eating fast food eight times a week yeah and i haven't had it yeah i mean i spent
thirty thousand dollars i was gonna say you get it yeah yeah cutting that out was probably the
biggest thing yeah i want to i know it made me i to try the – because I was like – I had to buy –
my clothes went Omaha.
My bag didn't make it.
So I had to go to the store to buy some stuff.
And there was like this cool store, but it's called Gray, G-R-A-E.
If you're in Omaha, it's a good store.
They were very nice.
They stayed open and let us because they were about to close,
and we had to go straight from the plane because we missed our –
our flight was delayed, so we missed it.
And we had to get another flight.
And then – so I had to go there and buy stuff.
And I bought, like, these hoodies to wear on stage.
I actually liked what I was wearing.
And then it's like I wore – I posted – I had a picture of it,
like, on my Instagram.
And it's like my just – I I would say my dumb fat nipples.
Just God, they're the worst.
They are the worst.
And like, I was like, I got it.
You know, I've done good with no sugar.
Then I ate ice cream at the end.
I mean, something felt, I mean, like, it's like, it's just a nightmare.
It's like, you're just eating.
I mean, I, like, the other day I realized,
I mean,
I think I had three hamburgers.
Like it was like,
just you're on the,
like being on the road is just nothing's,
you can't eat anything.
Yeah.
I don't think,
I don't,
I mean,
I know everybody like thinks of it when you have no consistency,
when you're not at home,
it's impossible.
Yeah. And the way our schedules are is like every, when you have no consistency when you're not at home it's impossible yeah and the way our
schedules are is like every when you go on stage you don't always want to eat before and then when
you get off stage it's i mean you have two shows i mean i'm done it then you don't always want to
eat in the middle of the shows because you i mean you still like got like you get kind of amped up
you're still you know it's like you don't have this big appetite and then you know if you can get done at midnight well there's nothing open yeah there's nowhere to
go there's not like a you know it's like well mcdonald's i know sells like healthy stuff and
you're like there's you're not going to just go there and be like all right i'll just get that
every time yeah yeah it's in it's impossible what am i i human. Exactly. What do you want me to do?
It's also like when you're on the road, like in an airport,
like time doesn't exist in an airport.
I had like PF Changs at like 8 a.m. one day.
I was like, what am I doing?
Yeah, a real meal.
Yeah, it's like a dinner meal.
I mean, you get 8 in the morning, you know?
Yeah.
I've started doing that where I realized I can eat something.
I can eat like a pizza at 8 a.m.
Like you go to the airport and like the pizza is open.
You're like, I'll just eat this pizza.
I feel like that's a line you don't want to cross.
Yeah.
I feel like that's where you get over and it's like you're like,
I shouldn't be in the mood for this stuff.
You don't need to have breakfast food for breakfast anymore.
You can just get after it. Yeah. yeah actually i might redo that as a joke i'm trying to get like i need some more i was on the road with a a friend of mine and we we wanted to go to a red lobster
we woke up at like noon or 12 30 and let's go to Red Lobster. But he was so set on having breakfast food first
that he went to McDonald's,
ate breakfast food,
and then came and ate at Red Lobster.
He's like,
it couldn't be the first thing I ate
was seafood.
Yeah, Laura's got to do that.
Really?
Yeah, Laura's got to.
She's in the order.
That it's like,
even if it's the act, like even if we're about to go, you know, if it's like 11 and like we're going to meet someone at lunch for 1230, it's like she's got to do a breakfast act.
Coffee or something.
Something's got to happen that's like somewhat breakfast.
The idea of the meal is gone and then now I can move on.
Yeah.
I can roll right into whatever.
I can eat anything
late you know i've eaten ice cream like i've eaten cereal then like late and then then eat
ice cream like when i'm trying not to eat ice cream i'll eat a bowl of cereal late at night
then i'm like oh you know what i'll just go and eat this ice cream too but those are two very
different foods to have and so you shouldn't i don't think you're at, you should be like,
you should be like,
no,
I can't,
I could never right now.
I like that you did the big,
like,
so I thought about doing that.
You only did a four hour window.
Four hours and then 20 hours off.
Yeah.
How long were you doing?
How long have you done this now?
Since I think probably beginning of February.
Yeah.
And are you still going to continue it?
I think I'm just going to keep doing it.
Yeah. It's part of my routine now. Yeah. I broke it a lot this weekend. I kind of went off this weekend. Well, you should. Yeah. And are you still going to continue it? I think I'm just going to keep doing it. Yeah. It's part of my routine now.
Yeah.
I broke it a lot this weekend.
I kind of went off this weekend.
Well, you should.
Yeah.
Everyone was like, this is the one.
Yeah.
If you're ever going to take a weekend off, it's your own wedding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
So I ate a lot this weekend.
But yeah, I've been doing it.
I'll probably just keep doing it.
Part of my routine now.
Yeah.
What is your window?
Would you do it? Usually 1030 to now. Yeah. What was your window? Would you do it?
Usually 1030 to 230.
Yeah.
So I'd wake up, I'd eat like a meal at 1030 and then just snack for the rest of the four
hours.
Beef jerky, stuff like that.
You were eating somewhat healthy, would you?
And you didn't eat any fast food?
No, no fast food, no bread.
Yeah.
And no candy, stuff like that. Yeah yeah so i guess eating healthy too but well
yeah that's pretty i mean that's you would have you could have probably ate more if you just
maybe you cut bread out i think that's pretty big yeah that alone would have been a big change for
sure i did a lot of like four life-changing things all at the same time yeah yeah i i like the idea
i was i was telling someone because they
were talking about it like losing weight because it's it's always hard with people always because
they're always like just eat everything in moderation you're like yeah dude you're like
it's just hard like it's it's some people it's easy to do some people it's not or like you know
just don't go eat you know if you go to mcdonald's or if you go eat somewhere you eat a burger but
also get a salad and you're like you're like i don't my brain doesn't work like that like it's just i go i i do it all like i you know and i
figure like if i eat a burger i'm like well i'm already eating bad might as well just do fries
too like you know uh but i like the idea of the four-hour window because it's it's like at least
putting some structure in a very non-structured life yeah like it's like you're whatever you're you know it's like and i
know everybody say like people like oh that stuff doesn't work or blah blah whatever it's like it's
like tricks but intermittent fasting a lot of people live their life by that where it's like
right you just kind of like do this window i always thought i would do my window if i want to
try it and uh again just have it like like i I go, I'm here this week, but then
next week is like, I got to go to, I'm going somewhere and then I got to go do another
thing.
Like I'm going to three different time zones next week, all in within three days of each
other.
And, and so like, that's, you're, you're just like, it's, it's, it like, it's ridiculous.
And if you just go like, I can't eat, then you just are like, all right, I can't eat.
I got to avoid food.
Right.
And so then it's not like I'm deciding.
But then if I'm in my little window, it's like, all right, if something happens, if
you eat a burger and fries, it's like, at least it's in that window.
Exactly.
Exactly. Yeah. If I just set those things up where I'm like,, at least it's in that window. Exactly. Exactly.
Yeah.
But I just set those things up where I'm like, well, I just can't do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like you got to go that extreme to go, well, I can't.
No.
Yeah.
It's not an option at this point.
It's not an option.
My window's closed.
Yeah.
Your honeymoon, you'll probably have to break it.
Oh, I'll probably go off on that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where are y'all going?
We're going to Alaska.
Yeah.
Real big man vacation, huh?
Wait, what are you wait you look like like
it's like you like the cold weather like in the summer i do like she's like what about a beach
you're like what about alaska you know somewhere i wear a coat yeah yeah it's uh it's gonna be a
little chilly up there it's a good time to go though june it's not gonna be crazy like 50s
It's a good time to go, though, June.
It's not going to be crazy.
Like 50s?
50s and 60s, I think.
Yeah, that's good.
Up to 70s sometimes.
We'll see.
Yeah.
We're going there for a week.
We leave next week.
Where do you stay?
It's this thing where you take a train every day from city to city.
Oh, really?
So it will be in Anchorage, and then we end up in Fairbanks. We'll do dog sledding.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And fly a plane over the Denali National Park and stuff.
So it'll be fun, dude.
Not actually go see any of this stuff.
Just kind of.
Just fly over it.
Just fly over it.
Ride by it on a train.
Fly over it.
You're like, did you ever touch the ground?
You're like, not really.
No, never actually walked out in the.
We hike one day, I think.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm just along for the ride.
Did you look at that hike?
Pretty tough?
When they said a hike, you're like, what is it? I think Lucy did on my behalf.
She was like, I think we need to take a...
Let's take the easy route.
Yeah.
Start at the top.
Well, you'd want to go just...
Yeah.
The planes will drop you off up there.
The planes drop us off at the top? Take a helicopter over do that there you would want i mean the hiking in alaska would
be i mean everybody needs to probably you got to really check out like what are we talking about
yeah exactly like it could get i'm not trying to go up a mountain dude yeah yeah i'll walk around
in a circle yeah by a lake or something. I see a bear up there.
Yeah.
Oh, they told,
we're going to see wildlife too.
We go to this
wildlife sanctuary,
bear,
moose.
Moose are,
Moose are huge.
When I did,
yeah,
I can't even remember
what stories I told
about them in Maine.
I told that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The moose,
they kill people.
Yeah.
So,
be careful with that. I that, right? Yeah. Yeah, the moose, they kill people. Yeah. So be careful with that.
I'll remember that.
Yeah.
I'll stay away from them.
I think, yeah, it could be worse than bears.
You think?
I don't know.
I mean, but I think so.
I thought I've heard that, but I don't know for sure.
That kind of sounds right.
I believe you if you said it with confidence.
Yeah, I feel like a bear everybody's naturally scared of, and a mo people are not and they don't realize it's like hippos yeah oh yeah
like you know like hippos are like that where everybody you think you're looking for the
alligator you'd be looking you'd be looking for that hippo hippo is the problem yeah that's the
yeah they're brutal yeah and they can move too and they're hungry they're one of the deadliest
animals in the world i think yeah it's like a It's like offensive linemen in the NFL, you know,
where they still run like a 4'9", 40.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're like, I guess 300 pounds.
He's just a fat guy.
No, he's running a 4'5".
Yeah.
He can move.
Did your groomsmen like their groomsmen gift?
Yeah, they did.
I think so.
Because I saw one in the trash at the wedding.
Stop.
He did.
Chipper Jones just wasn't there.
Yeah.
Who were the players?
Chipper Jones, Ken Griffey, Derek Jeter, Bo Jackson, Mike Trout, and R.A. Dickey.
Those are the ones I think.
Oh.
Is R.A. Dickey tough?
Is that guy kind of like R.A. Dickey?
Or is R.D. the most perfect one uh r.a dickie was i mean it's
the least valuable of all the cards for sure but it was hard it was hard to find because nobody's
out there going yeah i need an autographed r.a dickie rookie card you got them all autographed
no a couple of them yeah not not you just went to r.a dickkey's house and said, yeah, I'll do it. He's from here, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's from here.
I mean, who did you give that to?
R.A. Dickey?
Was he in your wedding?
I mean, the Mike Trout, did you say it was $2,000?
Yeah, that's a rookie.
I didn't get him a rookie.
Oh, okay.
So that's a wide range there.
No.
Yeah.
You got a Tony Gwynn?
Yeah, I gave Dustin a Tony Gony gwen one that was autographed that
was one of the more expensive yes wow yeah yeah well that's because i mean yeah he's he's passed
away tony gwen is amazing yeah do you think tony gwen more than any player in any sport
you identify with one team like the pod like he is the padres yeah well mike trout's that way
yeah well it's Chipper Jones.
That was the big thing with Chipper Jones.
And Derek Jeter, actually, with the Yankees.
Actually, a few of them.
I don't think so.
And the Yankees, they've had a million star players.
Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle.
I'm talking about a guy.
I'm talking about you think of the team,
who's the first player you think of.
I don't think.
I do, yes.
I do think it is with that, with Tony Gwynn.
But I don't know if people – that was so long ago.
Yeah.
And, like, he's not – I mean, Tony Gwynn is one of the greatest players ever.
Yeah.
But, like, he's never in a big market, so he's not Derek Jeter.
I'm not saying he's – no, I'm not saying he's popular.
But if you know about baseball, think about the Padres.
Tony Gwynn is by far –
But I think people are going to – they just won't think of him.
Like, it's like – you know what I mean?
Like, you got to be so popular that you don't ever go away.
Like, the way that people talk about Babe Ruth still now
or Mickey Mantle now, I think they don't talk about Tony Gwynn
because they were at the biggest team.
Like Mike Trout.
Mike Trout could end up being done.
There's people that probably don't even – they never even heard the name
Mike Trout.
And Mike Trout is arguably, people think, one of the best ever to play the game.
And so, like, yeah, you're going to – they might – Albert Pujols would
probably be a lot of people like, oh, that's like Albert Pujols.
He went to that team, right?
Because he was with the Cardinals.
He was a bigger team.
And there's going to be people that don't even know Mike Trout.
Yeah.
That's where I think Tony Gwynn's a little in that boat.
Yeah.
And I wasn't arguing so much.
Yeah, just name recognition.
I guess I'm saying for baseball fans that know the sport.
If you want to keep trying to make your point, then you can.
But just –
Yeah, I just didn't
think you were getting what well you're saying i totally get what you i get what you're saying
but yeah i mean if you yeah if you're i guess if you're a diehard baseball fan and you're our age
then i think tony glenn absolutely identifies with yeah the padres all right well i think
point made i think guys like that are interesting now because in this era it's like athletes feel like they're always chasing the
highest paycheck and they're jumping teams and building super teams and whatever yeah and it's
rarer now for these guys to just spend their whole career with one team and that was the chipper
jones spent his whole career with the braves i think he actually took a pay cut to free up salary
space on his team.
You just don't hear about people doing that anymore.
That's why
it's cool.
I don't think
Mike Trout or Chipper Jones
would find this conversation good.
We're talking about them.
They would probably be like,
fast play hits 10 seconds a couple times
on the thing.
Are they still done?
And then Chipper Jones.
Oh, God.
He's like, I don't know.
He just has to go way forward.
He goes back to just to vory.com and listen to the ads.
That's something fun.
So this was at your wedding.
We're going to show this.
These were given away. I didn't even see these. I was telling them. I didn't even see these at your wedding. We're going to show this. These were given away.
I didn't even see these.
I was telling them I didn't even see these at the wedding.
That's what Aaron's known for.
This is what Lucy's known for.
They had some Zany's cookies there as well.
Oh, yeah.
Do y'all ever let up about the Notre Dame thing?
Are you pretty hammering home as the fam?
Do you feel like we laid it on pretty thick?
I mean, you gave cookies away that have Notre Dame on them.
That's about it, though, right?
I feel like we didn't do...
We didn't walk into the fight song or anything.
Well, y'all started singing it real late.
It was great to meet a lot of your family.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I liked talking to them.
Your dad tried to get me to do comedy that night. No. tried to negotiate with me cash and i was like he just didn't have
enough money are you serious no i wanted to be mortified no your dad was great just to be like
your dad he goes i gave you 200 bucks to do like 10 minutes and i go look man i go my money's gone
up a lot and we're 300 now that's what i told him and he goes i don't
kind of have that kind of loot is what he said and i said well then go find it pretty demanding
and then he tried to find it and came back with less money to be honest
yeah he was actually i go so how does it look he goes i lost 100 because i was trying to get up to
three and i've lost 100 and i go how did that happen and then we both had to go chase that guy down and I think you know who that was
well what you're describing is like my worst nightmare no no so I mean they were your whole
family was wonderful okay uh good yeah your dad was great like like hey yeah I thought you were
I thought I was worried that they would be like it's always joke about y'all's family like
you know like whatever they're like hey your family is awesome dude they get it like they're Like, hey, I thought you were – I was worried that they would be – because I always joke about y'all's family.
Like, you know, like, what if they're like, hey, your family is awesome.
Do they get it?
Like, they're, like, very fun.
Yeah, yeah. And then your cousins, they like all the jokes about your family.
Oh, yeah?
They said your family was very talented, and it was always like –
your cousins all had to, like – it'd always be like,
hey, here comes the Weber family, and y'all are, like, singing songs,
like the Von Trapp family.
Yeah.
That's what he used to call it.
Yeah.
Every,
every Christmas is just like,
y'all do a talent.
You go,
Hey,
we're going to do a talent show.
Yeah.
And then you're,
everybody else is like,
we have no talent.
And you're like,
Oh,
all right,
well maybe we'll just do some stuff.
And then y'all are like,
you played piano during your wedding.
Oh,
yeah. Yeah. a little bit.
The band were guys that we used to play with, my buddy and I.
So they brought us to play.
They were great.
They were awesome, weren't they?
Yeah.
The whole wedding was great.
Was there any behind-the-scenes problems?
Very nice.
No, nothing that we haven't talked about.
The wedding was very, nice yeah i missed the uh
ceremony that's okay uh you know i feel like yeah i we were there i waited outside the gate till it
was over uh seven minutes yeah it was short dude it probably was seven probably less than seven
i knew it was seven yeah seven minutes we barely yeah yeah. Yeah. I was coming from Omaha is why I missed it.
And like, so we couldn't get there.
And we got there right when it ended.
I was coming from St. Louis and I made it.
Huh?
You had a nonstop flight.
What time did you leave?
I had a layover.
I left at, I think I left at noon.
I had a layover.
I left at 8.55. 8 55 yeah well this is all you
got going is this wedding so you work one weekend a year uh so yeah it's pretty easy to not miss it
there we had two shows did y'all have two shows? For the weekend. Yeah. I mean, pretty easy.
Yeah.
I wasn't done until pretty late.
It was your weekend good?
Yeah.
Old Salmon.
Yeah, it was great.
It was great.
Great crowds both nights.
Met some folks there.
Yeah.
Got off to nothing to do with the club.
The club was great.
But my car, I took my car in the shop last week because the check engine light came on.
And the guy came out and he sits down with me.
So it's almost like they're notifying you that I got some bad news.
Yeah.
And he's like, rodents have eaten through your fuel line and some type of harness, some type of tank harness,
and it's going to be $4,000 to fix it.
Oh my gosh.
Now, my wife's had this problem,
and her dad, who lives with us,
has had the same problem.
We really need to build a garage.
Yeah.
But $4,000 damage,
and he's like,
you need to call your insurance company
to see if they'll cover it.
And they did.
Wow.
Because of the squirrels.
Yeah, squirrels or chipmunks. Rodents, oh you just said rodents right now then that's what i said yeah i was about to ask you which which one it's either squirrel or chipmunks
because we have a bunch of both yeah and but every car that's been parked at your house has had
has had this happen yeah yeah so we got a major truth should have uh disclosed this when y'all
got married i feel i agree like at the wedding should have been like hey just before we go all
the way through this understand when you move into my home your house will be attacked by squirrels
yeah for real we could have paid for a garage by all this but my insurance covered it but then i
didn't have a car So Renting cars right now
Are so expensive
It's hard to even get
Rental cars right now
And they're very expensive
A plane ticket
Was exactly the same amount of money
So I flew to St. Louis
And Ubered
To the hotel
Wow
In O'Fallon
And then I get
So I get there early
Because
I flew
So I get the hotel at 115
And I walk in
And I'm like checking in
And the lady said The room's not available until 3.
And this wasn't one of those, like, let me see what we can do.
She was like, come back in an hour and 45 minutes.
I mean, she wouldn't even.
And 3 is probably pushing it.
Being generous?
Yeah.
So I'm like, all right.
I got my backpack and just a little carry thing.
And then I'm like, and I don't have a car.
Right.
So there's nowhere there to hang out.
There's a quick trip right next door. Well, there is a quick trip. thing and then I'm like and I don't have a car right there's nowhere there to hang out there's
a quick trip right well there is a quick trip so about that time when she's giving me this bad news
I'm like why are the back of my pants wet like I didn't sit anything so I kind of stepped off in
that little partition area where the door sliding doors are and I'm like why is my pants so wet and
then my backpack was all wet so I had to go outside on the sidewalk and open my backpack and dig through.
I had a bottle of water that the top had come off.
It just dumped water in my backpack with my computer, my camera,
and a few other things.
And my pants are soaking wet.
So I don't know where to go.
It's freezing cold there this weekend.
So I call an Uber, and he picks me up at the quick trip.
And I was like,
just,
I mean,
I put in to go to Applebee's.
Yeah.
That's where she said the good restaurant was.
So.
That was the recommendation
for the city.
So I get in the Uber
and the guy goes,
I'm going to run this quick trip
real fast
and get me a few things.
So I'm just sitting in his car
for a while
with it running
and he runs in.
Just in the backseat
in your wet pants the same very pants
i was trying to return that day the only pants i brought for the whole weekend by the way
because i'm there for 48 hours yeah and he goes in he gets him a five-hour energy drink and a few
other things he's in there a while and then he takes me to applebee's And when I got out of the car I picked up my bag His floorboard was wet
And his seat was wet
And there was a trail of water
Like I look back a few times
Just dripping with me as I walked
So then I go to Applebee's
And I sit in this wet booth
By myself
And then finally
Like everywhere I go
There's just a trail of tears
And then I get to the hotel And I have to get a hair dryer and blow dry my pants
and the clothes that I had stuffed in my carry-on bag.
I just have to blow dry.
I haven't used a blow dryer since the 90s.
That hotel sounds like that's the blow dryer from the 90s.
Oh, it was.
It was.
So you're feeling pretty good about the weekend by this point, right?
Yeah, I mean, it got off to a rough start.
But the shows themselves were great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just had wet pants.
He outsold me.
Brian outsold me by 12 tickets.
Wow.
Wow.
Big money.
Just a little bit bigger girl.
No foul.
Yeah. That's a great club, man. Wow. Yeah. Big money. Just a little bit bigger girl. No foul. Yeah.
That's a great club, man.
People came out.
People had fun.
Yeah.
That's what I heard.
Yeah.
Very nice people.
Like I said, met some of our folks.
They came out.
It was great.
Yeah.
So, but with the squirrel.
So, squirrels, I've never even heard of this.
I posted it on our community Facebook page, and so many people commented that this is a thing.
I guess there's soy is in the fuel lines,
and it's attracted to it, and they just bite into them.
Why don't we stop putting soy in there?
Soy sauce?
I don't know.
But now they're giving us ways to like.
He has stuff leaking everywhere.
Maybe there's soy sauce leaking from the bottom of his.
It could be
I stole some
from that Applebee's
what is soy
I don't even know
alright
see there's
why does everybody
see that
y'all just said soy
neither one of you
know what it is
it's not soy sauce
I get it's not soy sauce
but everybody
but like I always think
everybody
you go like
I'm not saying you do this but most everybody well I am saying you do always think everybody is you go like i'm not saying you do
this but most everybody well i am saying you do this and most everybody goes they go there's soy
in the bottom of it and they go okay you don't know what soy is but everybody just says the soy
and no one ever knows what everybody goes well what is it and then that's when people like me
feel dumb is because i'm like god i don't know what soy is and then you go hey guess what nobody
knows what it is yeah i don't know what it is. And then you go, hey, guess what? Nobody knows what it is. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I just know it's some
type of food that has a certain smell, apparently. What attracts rodents is the fairly recent plant
based composition of hoses, wires, and other plastic and rubber like materials. I don't know
all the details, but at some point in recent history, federal law mandated the use of soybeans as an ingredient.
So this article says, I don't know the details.
But at the bottom it says soy-based plastic. Why would you write an article and in it go, long story short,
I didn't really dive too much into it.
I had to just do this article on the way out.
They did something.
I mean, that's basically the reason I wrote this article.
It's just, how do you put that?
How is that in the, I don't believe anything this person says at all.
Yeah, I don't know all the details, but that's-
What is this from?
This is from a stack exchange.
These are just people posting.
Somebody asked a question and then people are answering.
Oh, so it's not an article.
This isn't like a New York Times article.
I mean, golly.
I don't know all the details.
Long story short, blah, blah, blah.
They chewed through the thing.
Yeah.
So the people have said put out fake rubber snakes to scare the squirrels away.
Moth balls, I guess.
They're going to look like a Halloween over there all year long.
I know.
Yeah. We already have a fake owl that all year long. I know. Yeah.
We already have a fake owl
that we put up.
We have so many squirrels.
That thing's not really working.
It is not.
Well, it's in the back, but...
Yeah.
Why would you not put it
in the front
where the main problem is?
Well, they were getting
on our roof.
It's a major problem.
I mean, dude.
The tech.
Golly.
This is like the bird movie
by Alfred Hitchcock was squirrels
where they don't like attack you they're just like you know and you can't kill them
well it's in it's against the law to purposely in city limits to kill them you can throw them from a
airplane but they'll still live yeah they're gonna land that yeah no problem you can kill a squirrel
right if it's yeah if it's destroying your property.
How would I kill it?
You set up a trap or something.
Shoot it.
I don't think you can just be shooting them.
Like BB guns, people, you know, something like that.
Yeah.
I mean, by the time you're –
I think by the time your brain would tell you to pull that trigger,
that squirrel's going to be fine.
I don't think you're going to hit it.
Brian out there, the BB gun, the Air Force hat,
shooting squirrels from the porch.
And that Beyonce just looks like something's wrong with him.
The neighbors are like, they see her parents come out,
and they just think, oh, he still lives with his parents?
They don't know that.
He's got that hat on, that camouflage hat with a BB gun.
He's just out there looking at all these squirrels.
And her parents come out, did you get them?
And they're like, oh, I guess he still lives with his parents.
They think that I think they can't see me.
Sniper.
They can't see me Sniper
I mean
They would lay his wet backpack on
It's dripping water
And they just
People just coming up asking if he's okay
He goes yeah I'm doing real good
You know
I live on my own now
I think that's the tops
I think that's the tops yeah i think that's the top thank you oh man so yeah that's a great
image oh and then the guy we're gonna see a nice drawing of that i just want to see someone's
gonna draw you with a wet backpack with a bb here came on looking for squirrels
the guy at the car dealership says,
one of the parts I need won't be in until October.
Oh, wow.
Again, because of COVID, somehow everything's backed up.
Man.
They're working.
I'll tell you what, a big, big problem.
And it's one that you feel like there's always problems in the country.
Some of them you're always like, I don't.
It's almost like the tax, or whatever some crazy stuff like that is,
you don't fill.
But this working is a big problem.
They cannot hire people anywhere.
McDonald's here has a big sign.
They're paying off.
We need people.
You go to hotels, dude. they're so understaffed.
And getting a room cleaned, just not going to happen.
And some of it they say because of COVID, but they don't have the staff.
Even these – you go to a restaurant.
The great restaurant we talked about, I think we talked about the hotel,
Cerity. I think it was Cerity. I can't remember it isn't in des moines downtown great hotel restaurant down there awesome people but he talked about like people would see these tables
open and like when you go by the restaurant they don't look like they're busy you know and
everybody's like well you can sit people and he's like we don't have the staff to sit people
we can't it's not even about coveting what's about like we can't have the staff to sit people. It's not even about COVID anymore.
It's about we can't get anybody to work.
That's a major.
You can feel it, dude.
It's everywhere.
I mean, Omaha, when I started eating at Omaha, it's like this one girl behind.
And you have to go pay at a counter, a different store, because she's got to cook this food.
And she's just by herself. food. Like it's just,
and she's just by herself.
Yeah.
And like there's no one there.
That's what happened to the Applebee's
that I ended up going to.
We walked in
and there's nobody there
and they're like,
it's going to be a wait.
Who'd you go in with?
There's just people coming in
right in front of me.
Oh.
No, I was by myself.
I know it's the Uber driver.
You're trying to act like
you have more friends
than you do.
You're like,
no, we all go in.
My road manager
yeah
and my agent
and my assistant
yeah
you go look
we're going to get
a table
we'll all be
grouped together
you're my road manager
you're my agent
you're my assistant
I'm a comedian
they go I want to be
a comedian
he's fine
whatever
alright you be the comedian
I'll be the road manager
alright let's go in there
let's go in there and act like we're a table for four business meeting, please.
We're from Hollywood.
You're from Memphis, Tennessee.
That's my favorite Andy Kaufman.
Did I say that?
I've never seen that.
It's like, it's the Jim Carrey movie where he's talking about wrestling people.
Man in the Moon?
Yeah, Man in the Moon.
And he goes, he's wrestling women, which is so funny.
It's so funny, dude, that Andy Kaufman wrestled women
and then would get people just furious that he's wrestling these women.
And then he went to Memphis, Tennessee.
Look up the Memphis, Tennessee, the Hollywood thing.
And he yells at me.
Me and Soder always do it.
He goes,
I'm...
He goes,
you're all just from Memphis, Tennessee.
I'm from Hollywood.
And just yells at them all.
And they would be so mad
that he said that.
It's...
Jerry Lawler?
Yeah.
Oh, that's what he...
I guess it's Jerry Lawler. Yeah. This's what I would guess Jerry Lawler
Yeah
This is
It's the
There's no way
We're gonna be able
To play this
Yeah
Give me a minute
To find it
Yeah
Yeah
Maybe
I guess he said
It's Jerry Lawler
It's just so
It's such a funny
Thing to
Say
I mean
Dude
Him wrestling women
Is so great
Yeah
Somebody commented That we we failed to mention
that during the wrestling episode but yeah that's true that was a that was a thing for a while
yeah well he did it as a it's a joke joke yeah that whole jerry lawler thing on letterman all
that was so great oh yeah they were all in on it i mean that's the fact that no one knew
think back then i mean there's you could do so much stuff.
Now, there's a lot of stuff people don't know on the internet.
You don't know the story.
You don't know whatever.
A lot of fake stories get kind of thrown out very quickly.
Back then, it's like this slow build of he's just playing the whole country.
And everybody.
And then him and Lawler fight and they he punches
him and like it's uh on letterman it's i mean i don't know if letterman was in on it uh i don't
know if he was i can't remember if he was either he slaps him like hits him hard yeah i mean jared
the king lawler i don't know if here does he ever get the credit he should get for that like it's such a i mean it's so great yeah i'm from you're from memphis tennessee
i'm from hollywood it's such a great uh anyway so yeah i've never heard the squirrel thing though
pretty well i guess it's a common thing though just based on the google search it's a pretty
common thing but a real bummer that it happened to you, man. Yeah. Sorry about that.
So I'm going to be needing some rides.
Yeah.
All right.
Until October.
I got you.
I'm going to ask you, was Taylor Swift's brother at your wedding?
No, he didn't end up being there.
Yeah.
Man.
Did you send one to her just as an offer?
Send her an invitation?
Yeah.
I told him he could have a plus one.
Yeah.
Bring family or whatever.
Yeah, bring whoever you want.
I think you almost don't.
This is, I was talking to Lucy about it.
You almost kind of don't want her to be there.
No, you do.
Okay.
I do.
You do in the fact that, like, look, you do in the fact that it's not like you know her.
Like, you're, like, friends with her.
Like, you know, it's like you're friends with her brother.
But I would say her brother would almost could have an argument and say he would rather her not be there.
Definitely.
But you do in the story of, like, it would just be a zoo.
Sure.
Crazy.
Right.
So that's kind of fun.
But, like, if her, you know a cousin is like it just if she doesn't
you know or i mean her brother you know it's like it's always about you so i mean but you want your
sister there i mean how do you not want that but like he could have an argument to be oh you mean
for his wedding yeah for his wedding i'm saying like for you you do like sure these are just
things you tell yourself yeah when yourself when she's not there.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
No, no, I know.
I didn't want her here.
But it's like, but like her, I could see someone in her family being like, it's too much.
Yeah, when do I get to have my moment?
Yeah, yeah.
It's always you.
People are always talking about you.
And she probably feels that too.
I imagine if it's always about you, you know that.
Yeah.
And you don't want to steal someone else's thunder.
Yeah.
Well, you want to go and almost just be like,
just try to sit in the back and watch and try to stay out of the,
have it be very dark.
I didn't see Dusty slaying.
I mean, you could easily avoid someone.
I did.
I avoided Dusty.
He did.
And it was pretty easy.
He stood at the head table yeah he didn't see him uh i saw him no i saw him i just never got to him like yeah
well that was a weird thing about uh being the groom i saw so many people that i wanted to that
i hadn't seen for a while and you have very little face time with anybody.
Well, you did good when y'all went around to the tables.
Yeah.
That was good.
Just make your rounds.
You got to do something like that.
You got to be in control of going to see everybody.
Yeah.
And so you got to go and be like, let me just go hit every table.
And you come over and you say, thanks for coming and blah, blah, blah.
And then you do see everybody.
And then you can kind of go do your own thing.
And then if everybody wants to see anybody else anymore,
then you can.
Yes.
Yeah.
You kind of have like,
you have like 30 seconds with everybody.
Just like friends from college,
I hadn't seen in years. And I was like,
oh, it's good to see you, man.
Thanks for coming.
And that's pretty much it.
That's all I got.
Well, they got to see you.
They would have to see you before.
Yeah.
It's like the wedding is,
the wedding day I think is like, it's most everybody's most everybody it's like chaotic yeah they always tell you to
eat i mean yeah i don't think we i don't know if we ate at ours like are they they make a plate
for you later and you eat it it's cold like you don't get always get like this perfect meal
why everybody gets everybody gets it's really everybody else gets to eat this wonderful food, and then you end up eating a cold.
You eat whatever was cold in the back later on.
I was watching Phyllis' wedding episode of The Office yesterday.
It's so, and just hours after your wedding, it's just so funny.
Michael gets up to make that toast.
He says, Webster defines wedding as the fusing of two metals together
with a hot torch.
It's so great.
What is it?
Welding?
He was welding.
He clearly looked up.
He was welding.
And you two are gold metals.
Yeah, it was great.
It was, yeah.
I was just telling you, our wedding was,
which I've talked about it.
We're going to do, like, I need to do a reception again.
Because Laura was saying, like, renewing vows
or if we got remarried or something like that,
but she thinks it's the kiss of death to do that.
Like, then you definitely split up.
But a lot of people renew vows.
I think it's pretty common.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you don't hear about all of them don't make it afterwards.
It's 100%.
It's 100 for 100 that renews vows.
Just it's over.
It's a stat.
Yeah.
A lot of people go do renew their vows.
But what are you renewing your vows i guess
you're just like you're still together like what do you you know it's like almost i know people
who join a different type of church yeah and they want to get renew their vows in that church that
makes sense that makes sense but just renewing your vows out of nowhere another public declaration
of where yeah we still love each other yeah not
the fact that you walk around yeah just behind you all day like is this that's not enough that's
not enough you want more than that there's uh yeah i would do a reception again i would like to do
like that like do something like that like you know just i mean basically just on another party
but like ours like to do ours where we we just just, you know, we, we got married.
We just, it was not, it was not that.
It was, uh, it was fun.
It's a weird, the whole weekend is a weird merging of, of like, of worlds.
Yeah.
Worlds colliding.
Yeah.
Friends from high school, friends from college, comedy college comedy that world and then my family
yeah and then all of lucy's family it's just all these different worlds coming together
you know like when are these people ever going to be in the same room ever probably never hopefully
not yeah uh well i think most hope not i mean most are like if i'm ever in these these you know
yeah i feel like it's weddings and funerals.
Yeah.
And I just, my cousin passed away a couple weeks ago suddenly,
and I met so many of his friends that I never knew and got to know,
like, I know so much more about his life now.
Through them.
Yeah, and it's a shame.
Like, why didn't I meet these people beforehand so we had this common bond?
So that's why the wedding, it's so nice.
Now I've met your family, your close friends,
and it's nice and celebratory instead of a sad reason.
Right.
Yeah, it's sad that that's what it takes.
Yeah, Lucy's parents are great.
Yeah, they're awesome.
Aaron Land got a shout out.
I was going to say, he had a lot of inside jokes about Nate Land
in the Father of the Bride speech.
Yeah, he said, if you're not here, we're live streaming the Bride speech. Yeah. He said, if this is not going to be, if you're not here,
we're live streaming it on Aaron Land.
Yeah.
And I'm going to say, I don't feel like it got as much as we wanted to.
There's a very specific.
Oh, so inside.
Yeah, like it was like they were like, you had to miss that episode.
But Aaron Land's my favorite.
You pointed out that the girl, Lucy's friend that you grew up with,
was making these references to their childhood.
And you pointed out how much younger and difference in age they are.
Oh, the references were.
Yeah, what did they?
I can't remember now.
The music they listened to and the shows they watched.
It was all like 99.
She's like, oh, remember we did this?
Some of it was early 2000s. I'm like, i feel like that just happened what was the reference would you remember i remember some of them just said they watched uh they would watch the best of will
farrell and i said yeah the best of where you're like i watched will farrell i watched you know
like and then like just being like i remember when he retired and we were in like, and like they're watching his retirement video of Will Ferrell's retirement video.
Yeah.
And we're like, that's so crazy.
And it's just like, we were so, we were, they were Harper's age.
Yeah.
Like it was unbelievable.
I can't remember, like Boy Meets World or something like that.
Boy Meets World.
Yeah.
I think that got referenced once or twice.
Some rapper that, yeah, I can't remember.
I don't remember.
Dorfman said, the guy that owns Zany's,
he told me about hiring Lucy.
It was very nice.
He's like, the story, like he met her,
she was an assistant or something in Charlotte.
Yeah.
Heffernan, which is a great, Comedy Zones are in Charlotte
and they've been around forever and he's a great dude.
And she was like, just he could her passion yeah for comedy and was like if you get when you get done with school if you want a job you you got the job and then she's there
yeah she's interned at the box office emailed him once a week for months until he got a response
yeah wow that's great well his story acts like he just called and he goes, yeah, absolutely.
Like it was just easy.
It's always that the person that's hiring is always like,
and I just knew she would be the one, so I hired her immediately.
And then she's like, I took a long time, actually.
The real answer is probably in the middle.
Yeah, it's always in the middle.
I emailed twice, and then he got back to me.
Yeah, yeah.
Hers is like, I had to fly down there. I for the job i fall for this and you're like well we're in the
middle yeah that's true everything is always in the middle you know it was funny that uh that uh
dustin nickerson who officiated the wedding pointed out to me is while these speeches were going on
it's there's still just comics standing in the back of the room yeah that's everywhere you go
the families are all sitting down and then just lined up along the back we're all just the comics
yeah it's like i would love to be standing over there with those guys yeah during all this i think
it's hard for people to give speeches to like that like they're when they do have to give a toast
because they know it's just comics there yeah and so And so, but I always think when people, if you do give speeches,
all the toasts and stuff are great.
It's like just be, we still laugh at like funny, corny jokes or whatever.
Yes.
Like it's still, we still think that's funny.
We're not just like, you know, we're not like just sitting there going like.
Oh, what a hack.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If it's from the heart, a true story.
Right.
That's what I told uh my best
man because i think he was stressing out about it a little bit i was like dude just nobody cares
yeah you wrote it just wrote his speech for him aaron by the way aaron lost so much weight which
is amazing how good he looks uh and he was just one of the smartest and funniest. Most humble guys.
Carries the Nate Land podcast.
I always say that.
It was very specific.
And what was the car that you guys left in?
Some 1952 Jaguar, I think.
How far did y'all go?
We just drove to the hotel.
It was like 10 minutes in
the driveway oh yeah but it's pretty cool we were sitting in there we get in this nice car we drive
away and uh there's a driver and i was i was talking to him i go is this like a pretty sweet
car and he was like dude it's an honor to drive this car he said i'm a car guy it's an honor to
even be in this vehicle he was so fired up about yeah i don't know anything about
this yeah that's cool we were gonna take an uber
just you know didn't you say the driver was texting it was funny i was watching i guess he
i figured he probably texted to say we're leaving or something yeah uh but it was funny as you guys
walk up and everybody's got sparklers and uh as you're
walking down the thing it's this big like congrats and all this stuff and you just see him it's like
a comic texting right before they go up yeah well you're like hey are you not in this man like you
feel like the driver should be in it like be a little more in the car text no no as you walk
down the thing so you're about to be there but it's
it's uh you know you figure he would just be in it smiling and like i mean like and then open the
door and be like congrats did you say congratulations he did okay you say congratulate you know it's
like or somebody you just see him he was like texting i mean you're almost two of them and
he's just like what's he's playing words with friends. Text, phone, opens the door, losers.
Right as he shut it, I heard him go, never will last.
And then he shut the door and he got in, said congratulations.
Yeah, it's a real honor to drive this car.
Yeah.
He was being sarcastic.
You know what is funny?
I didn't see what was hanging off the car,
but I guess it said just married or something.
So we pull out of the wedding venue we drive like a block away then we have to stop he has to go take all that stuff off oh yeah because he's like can't
drive this it's not street legal so it's just like all right bye we drive 10 yards that way
stop yeah i see people driving on highways with that stuff on oh yeah i bet that guy's like i
ain't driving this.
Yeah.
If it's an honor to drive this car.
Yeah, he's up taking all this crap off the car.
You're lucky he didn't ask y'all to get out.
He's going to take all the married stuff off,
and then he takes that off and opens the door,
and he goes, that means y'all too.
And then y'all got to hop out.
You got to walk back.
And hey, you think we get a lift?
We get right over to the hotel or anything?
Yeah.
That's a pretty good car.
Yeah, it was cool.
Yeah, the whole thing was cool.
Yeah, it went by super fast the whole day.
Yeah.
But it was fun, man.
Yeah.
Glad y'all were able to come.
Yeah, we made it.
I made it.
Yeah, you did.
Thank you, man.
How were your shows?
Omaha was great.
Yeah, those shows were all good justin smith uh opened for me uh i golfed with larry the cable guy played two days
with him he's the best dude she's a good dude uh good golfer yeah he played his best round he's
ever played shot 78 wow uh yeah Putting was putting out of his mind.
Long, long putts.
Also, speaking of golf, we had our Nate Land podcast.
This is John Augustine.
Finished top 25 in a PGA event this weekend.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Yeah.
Crazy, dude.
His first one.
First cut he made in the PGA.
Finished in top 25.
Did you talk to him?
Was he pretty stoked?
Yeah, yeah.
I was very excited.
Like, it's fun.
I mean, I always say, like, it's fun to while you're watching this kid he does not
have his card he's not you know he's got to earn his way on to the tour yeah and uh and i mean and
for him to be he was tied ninth at one point and uh just played played terrific and uh so it's fun
to get a like you know just getting to all weekend like keep an eye out on him yeah i loved it that's
awesome yeah uh yeah so what is it about he's a little guy so what is it about golfer like in
sports usually if you're tall you have an advantage in basketball or big in football
what is it about guys that just some of them have that extra greatness it's just like a very uh god i can't i'm trying to think of the reference
of a question like uh feels like a very broad question that's like why is golf why do people
like to golf like i don't know he's he's not tall no he's he's a little guy but you can drive it
super far you can make a club be any length but yeah he can drive it yeah they can
smash it like uh he hits it like three i think he was was up there and like driving right distance
was like all like average like 315 320 something like that uh and they just know how to hit it
they just hit the middle of the face like they just know the core strength all that middle of
the face is is everything like and they hit the middle of the face so obviously the and then some but obviously the guys that are very long and lanky they get a
ton more speed that's why like bub watson all those guys are end up being longer john daly had
that like he just had like very long smooth i mean john daly's so good that it's it's unreal
how good it's so crazy how good this guy is and just to be a mess.
He's just a mess of a dude.
But he is – I mean, I saw him hit not too long ago.
And, like, he's just – right now his hands are just – he just is so good.
When he won the PGA Championship, his first major, they supposedly –
I don't know if this is true or not.
But I played at the course, Cro stick that they uh where they won that and he was a ninth alternative so he was
it took nine people to fall out of the pga champs much like your wedding a lot of people couldn't
get in until a lot of people fell out but there nine people fell out and he was the last one to get in and won it really wow and no
one even knew who this dude was yeah and then it's and it's and it's him coming out and supposedly
uh on the like one day this girl runs out and gives him like a big hug and kiss on the uh
fairway and everybody or something and everybody thought it was his wife and it wasn't
it was a
I believe a
call girl
like
that's what
that's the
that's the crowd
he was bringing
I was trying to say
what's the nicest way
to be able to say
to her
but he was like
you know
and I mean
then he just boomed
on the scene
and his son
actually played
that same tournament
and not in a major but
because he's an amateur and was the ninth alternative and finished second at the same
course but that's pretty crazy to barely get in yeah and then to win the whole thing they win the
whole thing uh yeah so yeah i don't know is that was that uh one one i want to mention these hats
oh yes danny pritchard one of our folks sent these to
us he's retired air force yeah nice big fan very nice yeah thank you could you compete in there
be in the air force my grandfather's in the air force oh yes air force does a lot of crazy they
always i think their big joke is that the chair force yeah like that's the uh but i remember going
doing all the uso stuff and uh you would talk to air force and air force
always had like their jobs were pretty wild like it was it was like yeah they're not just it wasn't
you know they're everybody obviously does different stuff military like army and like they're like in
it and air force is like they're just like they do some pretty crazy stuff and like what they
keep an eye out on is even pretty crazy yeah and now they're dealing with aliens yeah are they involved with aliens i mean why would you why would you not you think
they tell them no they're in air yeah space force might be first line yeah air force and they go
we'd like to be a part of it and they say no and you go well air is our in our title yeah and
they're flying in our air well space force will be the first line of defense
and then if it gets pretty new yeah still yeah they're still getting off the ground air force
yeah they don't have merch yet yeah they don't yeah space force doesn't have merch exactly air
force is like no let's i bet a lot of air force went to space force yeah it'd be fun to join space
force you just keep going up yeah yeah space force is you start in the navy
oh yeah there you go yeah in a submarine you start at the bottom work your way up
you're in a submarine get on one of those ships where you we you're way above the water yeah
yeah army fighting the ground then you go navy and you're like back in a boat you're like well
it's not going good and then you go air force space're like back in a boat. You're like, well, it's not going good. And then you go Air Force, Space Force.
Yesterday, of course, Memorial Day and World War II veterans,
there's still like 300,000 left, but they're all in their mid to late 90s.
Yeah.
So they said within five years, they'll almost all be gone.
Yeah.
There's just like 400 a day passing away.
So that's a pretty – that's a statistic that doesn't need to be set.
Like they go, in five years they're going to be gone.
And they're like, I don't know, what if some of them lived to 100?
Yeah, I mean, not everyone, but almost all will be gone.
In 20 years.
I think it would be better for them to go, in 20 years they'll all be gone.
Because obviously it won't be 20.
But at least say 20 do.
You're just like, we're putting most of them down every day.
I mean, five years.
Here you go.
400 die a day.
You're like, what are we even doing?
Just say 300,000 are alive.
Yeah.
We don't have to go.
This is like baby statistics.
That's why I threw it out.
Yeah.
You just like to talk about people dying.
Yeah, it just made me think when I saw that.
You know, eventually one day none of us will be here.
You know, everybody, 100% of this podcast room will be dead.
We'll die at some point.
You ever think about that?
Five years.
Five years we'll all be dead.
Everybody's going to be dead.
We talked about the future episode.
They're going to fix that.
Yeah.
You're going to live forever?
Mm-hmm.
Do you think you would be?
No, I'm past that curve.
How old are you?
Am I past it?
No, we're the same age.
Yeah.
No, but if they're...
Like you're saying, you have to be a certain age for them to even try it.
They're not going to do this to an 80-year-old.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I saw on 60 Minutes the other night that if you're born right now,
half the people born right now will live to their 103rd or 104th birthday.
I mean, this is all just made up.
I don't know.
When that doesn't happen, who's going to call that guy out?
Nobody.
He'll have been logged on.
I'll be there.
I don't know all the details, but 100, 100, some people will be living.
All right.
All right.
We're good, right?
Yeah.
Can I pitch a show?
Yeah.
Zany's Comedy Club.
We'll be headlining Zany's.
Nice.
June 13th.
It's a Sunday, 4 o'clock afternoon show.
Come to Nashville for the weekend.
Come to the show. You can be on the road by 6.
Still be home.
You should say then go to Broadway afterwards
and party.
I just think if people have to be at work Monday morning.
I think you're pitching to the audience that's going to come.
You're going to be in bed by 6 o'clock.
Siggier. Come to my show.
You won't miss 60 Minutes.
That's actually a better pitch.
Yeah.
All right.
Let me change that.
We'll all be home.
Come to my show.
We'll watch 60 Minutes live.
See the, come to my show.
Then you watch the nightly news.
And they're like, oh, the 10 o'clock.
No, no, no, no, no.
The 6 o'clock news.
You'll be there early.
You'll probably catch a little bit of 5.30.
A watch party.
You're going to see the end of the weather rolling right into the 6 o'clock
regular news into 60 minutes and be asleep by 9.
Wait a minute.
Please come.
Yeah.
Yeah.
June 25th through the 27th, I'm in Chicago at Zaney's Old Town.
I'm headlining all weekend.
Yeah.
So come by.
First place, Nate, went up.
Yeah.
That's pretty interesting.
Come on.
That's a great club.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a big club.
They did, yeah, it was the first place I ever went up.
They had a piano on stage.
Not ever went up, but it was the first club I ever worked.
I hosted.
Yeah.
They still got the piano up there.
Do they?
Last time I was there, they didn up there do they last time i was
there they did it oh last time i was there there's a piano oh wow maybe they've maybe they're taking
it down back and forth yeah i saw a fight breakout in there too kyle canane that's a zany chicago is
a great it's an old club it's been around for a long time and uh they uh they're uh, they're, uh, Kyle Kinney was on stage and I was in the very back.
It's a very,
it's a long room,
narrow,
narrow.
And,
and I was in the back so I could hear them.
And these,
someone tells someone to be quiet,
blah,
blah,
blah.
And they just really get into it.
And it's basically a fight breaking out.
And it's so far back in the room and they're in the front.
So like Kyle could,
he could tell something's going on, but not, you can't completely, because it's just so far back in the room, and they're in the front. So, like, Kyle could – he could tell something's going on, but not –
you can't completely because it's just too far back.
But I'm sitting back there, and so I'm just, like, in it.
And then these two dudes – one was, like, an undercover cop,
and so he's a police officer, and they're just both drunk, you know, just –
Of course.
And then I get,
somehow I'm in the back of the kitchen and they're by the door in front of me just arguing with each other.
And I'm just like in it.
It looks like I'm a part of it.
And I'm just sitting there like, you know,
and the cops came that were on duty and like.
Cops got called?
Yeah, that's the hard part.
If you're a cop, if you get into an argument with a cop that's off duty,
and then he gets to be like, well, I'm a cop,
and then you're like, well, what am I going to do?
Yeah, you weren't on duty when the fight started, dude.
I know, but then you can't do anything.
And then he gets to pull that card and be like, well, I'm a cop.
And you're like, yeah, they're going to come.
Of all the people.
Of all the people.
You got to start fighting someone else.
Yeah, I'll be in Naples June 11, 13, and then Raincheck Tour.
All on sale now.
And we'll be adding cities.
People keep always still saying, you coming here?
Yeah, we're coming everywhere.
So we'll be there.
All right, this was an off-the-cuff episode, so it wasn't bad.
I felt pretty good about it, man.
Some great moments.
I do think it shows why we do topics.
We will see you guys next week.
Have a good weekend.
Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast Be sure to subscribe to our show
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