The Nateland Podcast - #49 Nothing

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

On this week's episode of the Nateland Podcast, the guys discuss nothing in particular. Aaron recaps his wedding, Brian shares his car problems which led to a wet weekend, and Nate talks about playing... golf with Larry The Cable Guy.   Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. For exceptional traction on snow and ice, trust Continental Tires Viking Contact 7 tire. And right now, get a $100 rebate with select Continental Tires. Find a Continental Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadexperts.ca slash locations. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Welcome everybody. I feel like my voice is tired. Feels tired.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Yeah. You know, I think I was starting to lose it. Your voice? Yeah, I'm not losing it it but it was like it just felt tired yeah uh it was a big long weekend a bunch of shows stuff i don't know it sounds it does doesn't sound tired like it sounds you know uh but it is it is what it is you know did you say two out of three men lose their hair? I think we got one of us nailed down. Someone else. Someone else.
Starting point is 00:01:34 So, yes. Thank you, everybody, for listening. As always, let's start with some comments from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, and email nateland at natebargutsy.com. Audra Mayberry.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Hello, folks. Right off the bat, starts off the comments about the wrestling episode and mentions the famous wrestler Under the Taker. I saw someone post that, and I mean, no one called it in here. Well, no, it's such a weird thing to do that we didn't think. Under the Taker. I mean, it was five minutes into the podcast. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:13 That was the name of the guy that wrestled him with just the red trunks, because that's where he was the whole time. You were under the Taker. That's what someone would have tried. His friends would have said that. You should go by Under the Taker. What's that? Well, you were under the undertaker the whole time but i've never been able to so clearly like see the thought process like you start saying undertaker and then you
Starting point is 00:02:34 remember it's the yeah under the taker instead of starting over you're just like i'll just throw the yeah don't go back the middle it's just getting everything in there you know it's like when you forget to pack something in your car and then you're like you know you're like ah the pillows you just jam them at the top but they're in there don't repack just yeah throw it in there just put them in there under the take ben patterson when aaron said appleness nate gave him a stare like mich Scott gave Toby when he asked him, why are you the way that you are? Apple-ness.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Why did you say apple-ness? You said what makes an apple an apple. Oh, apple-ness. He did have to look like Michael Scott. Why are you the way you are? Because of the apple-ness. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:23 That's what they would say in philosophy. Right. Yeah. Jose. Yeah. That's what they would say in philosophy. Right. Yeah. Jose Vinta. One time my family went to Disney with my grandma, who was pretty old at the time. It was time to go to the Tower of Terror ride, and I'm scared of rides that drop.
Starting point is 00:03:37 So I told my family that I would stay back, keeping grandma company, to which grandma replied, I'll go. Then my family motioned everyone to go so i said they could go ahead and i'll stay behind the grandma's wheelchair so i sat there on the wheelchair and a couple who asked me if i was okay i guess a lonely teenager in a wheelchair with no family around is caused for concern anyways my grandma survived and we used her wheelchair to cut in line the rest of the afternoon i had the uh same thing my grandmother uh rode uh
Starting point is 00:04:06 like that that ride yeah i don't know if it was that one but it was one uh i mean she was at the time like in her 70s and she and she was down like we had we had people that didn't want to ride it and then she was like i'll go and she rode it is that tower of terror ride just like an elevator that just drives yeah i've done it yeah you just kind of Terror ride just like an elevator that just drops? Yeah, I've done it. Yeah, you just kind of go up, and then it goes out, then just drops. Straight down? Yeah, yeah. No, I don't like that at all.
Starting point is 00:04:31 You don't like going straight down? No, I don't like going down. The elevator's too fast. I get weirded out sometimes. Yeah. I was just in Miami. We had the elevator. It was really fast, very fast.
Starting point is 00:04:40 I liked it because it's very quick. Right before we get on the elevator, this other group is on. Because you're still like, are people getting on? I mean, sometimes you can tell people don't care. But when it opens up and you're like, oh, I won't have – you're sitting there without your mask on. And then that door opens and there's one person with a mask on and two don't.
Starting point is 00:05:02 And that one is just mortified. And you have to let a lot of them go. But I hear the guy, he's explaining to the other two people as they get in the elevator, he goes, he said, yeah, I got elevated this one time, third floor, just dropped all the way to the bottom. And he's like, beep, beer. And then they go in.
Starting point is 00:05:21 And you're like, why would you tell that story? That is like, just tell it when you get out. Yeah, exactly. After you're like why would you tell that story that is like just tell it when you get out yeah exactly after you're done with it yeah i mean i didn't want to get on the elevator then but i mean that guy yeah he said he has one just dropped from the third floor from third floor i mean that can't hurt too bad three floors is a lot i was gonna say that's a pretty high up man and i'm sure there's something in an elevator that makes it, like there's got to be something grabbing it. I don't think it's a clean cut.
Starting point is 00:05:50 There's just so many cords back there. But he said it dropped. I always think about time in the jump. You jump right before it hits. I don't think that would do anything. You'd still hit the ground. I bet it'd be hard to get up. Because I feel like the forces are going down so quick that it'd be hard to. Yeah, even if you jump up, you're still going down at the speed that the accelerator.
Starting point is 00:06:11 And then you don't know where the floor is at. I mean, you'd have to have a number. The number has to be like three, two, one. And then you jump in. I was at a pretty old comfort inn this weekend. It was the slowest elevator I've ever seen in my life i mean there's only three floors it would take forever just you're like are there just multiple people getting on it and it's like no it's just creeping yeah yeah that's elevators are you know claustrophobia
Starting point is 00:06:38 you feel it a little bit like i always just think if i get stuck in one it's like i mean i always think about that sometimes you uh i'll think's like, I mean, I always think about that. Sometimes I'll think about, like, getting elevated, there'll be, like, three people. What if we got stuck in here forever and we have to start over? Like, I'm just looking at all of us. Like, who's going to be the leader? Right.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Three of us on an elevator locked in there. It's never like the movies where, in the movies, there's always, like, panels. You slide open and crawl. I've never seen that in a real elevator I look up to see if you could open one but there it's I mean Dwight
Starting point is 00:07:16 in the office when they got in he peed in the corner immediately in the first 30 seconds he was grabbing his corner I always think with claustrophobia too too, like if I got stuck in there, like say it's like four people in there that you don't know. It's like I didn't have to tell those four people like, hey, just heads up, guys, I got claustrophobia,
Starting point is 00:07:35 and it's just a ticking time bomb. I'm going to lose it. I'd have to quickly say that. I mean, then you just probably elevate the stress of the whole elevator right right i feel like don't you think everybody would get some degree of claustrophobia on an elevator like that for a while but yeah but i'm rolling in hot like i mean i'm you know i almost had it when everything was normal you're preheating yeah and then so it's like i'm coming in quick and so i it would be very tough.
Starting point is 00:08:07 You know, you got to explain. I guess you have to tell everybody. You know, just let them know. I mean, we didn't get into it last week on those theme parks, but there's cases people get trapped on rides, like upside down. Yeah. I've seen the videos. There's some that get stuck at the very top.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I think like just we're about to go over the hill and they're just up there and they're up there for a long time hanging upside down yeah i don't think anyone has been hanging up or there was one i had last week we got they were upside down about 30 minutes oh really oh wow some on the side oh my gosh dude and that's enough to make you not yeah you know it's like if someone doesn't want to ride one you're like well that does happen it doesn't happen a lot yeah but it happened but it's not a crazy thing to worry about it shouldn't i mean your your odds i always like thinking some stuff with those odds of stuff like that you're it's almost like if you look at it
Starting point is 00:09:03 backwards you're like you'd have to be pretty lucky to get on the one ride that hangs out upside down it's kind of narcissistic yeah like it's gonna be me of course yeah yeah yeah you have to be because if you think of it like that you're like what are the uh like say if you're riding that roller coaster and you're like i'll give you a million dollars if you're the one that gets stuck upside down. I mean, there's people that do it, but the odds of you doing that are pretty low that you get to be on that one. Yeah. You know? So I think that with like airplanes.
Starting point is 00:09:35 What are the odds? You're the one that goes down. I mean, it's just like, you know, I mean, now if you're in it, you're like, oh. Then you're like, I won. Yeah. So then as it goes down, you're at least positive attitude going. I did it. I did it. I can't believe I was the one.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Yeah. Yeah. It's all worth it. Melissa Miles. Nate's short rant about the inappropriate use of let's go is my favorite Nate rant to date. My 12-year-old says it while watching Clemson football, but he also says it when I bring home his favorite snack from the grocery store. A year old saying it is like that's who should be saying right right like I would I understand as a parent that you I would be like all right
Starting point is 00:10:15 let's calm it down uh where did I hear it oh uh I was watching a golf thing uh with keegan bradley looks like like players lessons they have a great thing on golf channel uh and he said let's go he had a shot he goes let's go the people i don't they they they do they just don't know they're saying it yeah it's like they're saying it so much that it's you know let's go like oh god it's so so 12 year olds okay when are you when are you supposed to grow out of it you think when do you stop you so it should be about done so tell him let him know he can get it all out now yeah i feel like he done at 13 melissa was using him as a he was a role model yeah now you're like it's okay you're 12 well i'll tell you he's got till 13 13 it's got to be a wrap you can't be doing that no more you gotta come up with your 13. 13, it's got to be a wrap. He can't be doing that no more.
Starting point is 00:11:05 You got to come up with your own phrase. That's what you got to do. Just come up with your own thing. See if that can catch on. Yeah, yeah. Let's Go has been, you know. Beat to death, for sure. I mean, it's unreal.
Starting point is 00:11:17 And it's over. I mean, Tom Brady says it. And then everybody thinks, well, I should say it too. I've never ran on it i've never ran like it's like you know it's yeah it's yeah i don't know it's tough sarah rap nate it is elephant shoes not elephant foot elephant shoes yeah what else and don't wear i love you say i love you yellow used to say olive juice yeah that was ours people commented that too uh-huh and they said that what does that look like
Starting point is 00:11:52 yeah i think you said i love you i thought you said olive juice uh that's what i was can you imagine if you did that and someone knows that you're saying olive juice and you're going, you're like, just say it, dude. Why can't you say all of it? He goes, I don't have any,
Starting point is 00:12:10 by the way, you can't just buy all of this. I guess it's in all of us already. That's where you, so I guess you can buy it. You just buy all of us. And then there's the, all of the juices in there.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Yeah. Do people drink? I know pickle juice. People drink, do people drink all of juice? I don't know. there's the olive juice. The juice is in there, yeah. Do people drink? I know pickle juice people drink. Do people drink olive juice? I don't know. There's not much juice in it. They're packed in pretty tight.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Yeah. Not a lot of juice in there. Just water. I don't think it's specifically. Yeah, it's not a special kind of. Sonny Collins, has anyone verified that the dad scoring tickets for his son who made good grades is not Gary Veeder's dad? Now the guy is asking for a ticket for his wife.
Starting point is 00:12:47 When's it going to end? Could be Gary Veeder's dad. He's back in the system. We'll let you know if he asks for money. That will be the sending over the edge. Main gang. Main gang. Main gang.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Main gang. Fun fact, Spielberg's people approached the makers of M&M's about using them in the film. They declined, which is why it's Reese's Pieces in the film. Big mistake. Big mistake. M&M, they would have done a lot better if they would have made it. I mean, I'll be honest. M&M might be like, yeah, we're fine.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah, we're fine. Reese's Pieces are... Reese's Pieces are... It's not the go-to snack. No. Eminem has showed Spielberg. Yeah. A few people pointed out that you called them Reese's Pieces. Yeah, Reese's Pieces.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Instead of Reese's Pieces. Oh. But I think that's a Southern thing. Reese's Pieces. I mean Reese's Pieces instead of Reese's Pieces. Oh. But I think that's a Southern thing, Reese's Pieces. I mean, my grandmother said that. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I kind of say that too, Reese's Pieces. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Yeah. We're not giving them. There's someone named Reese that's like, no, they're mine. They're my pieces. They're my pieces. And you're like, no, they're Reese's Pieces. We're watching E.T. tonight. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Yeah. Yeah, because Harvard's starting to want to watch some movies with real people. Yeah. It's a cartoon. She's like, you always show me cartoons. That's good. And so we said, all right, we'll show E.T. First movie I saw at a movie theater.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It's crazy. You drove me one. You want to see me With real people So we'll show you one With an animatronic Alien What didn't we cover last week It came out when you were three
Starting point is 00:14:33 Yeah Yeah Brandon Chapel The Nate Land theme park Would have a deal That costs ten dollars a month for a season pass. But the only way to cancel it would be to go to Aaron land,
Starting point is 00:14:49 which is located inside the Nate land park, but nobody can seem to find it. I like that a lot. That's great. Yeah. Uh, uh, my buddy,
Starting point is 00:14:59 Justin, uh, text me and said the whole, uh, the whole theme park would be leg day. So it's all just gradually uphill. And so by the time you get to the end of it, you don't realize it was leg day until the next day you wake up.
Starting point is 00:15:15 You're like, my legs are killing me today. It was leg day. It's all leg day. It's all leg day. The whole thing's leg day. Matt Parrish, at the Nate Land theme park, there would have to be a ride or game called Don't Shake That Baby in One Fail Swoop.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah, that'd be good ones. How would the game Don't Shake That Baby work? They give you a baby that's crying. Yeah. And you just see how long you can go without shaking it. Yeah, I guess so. I bet it'd be something like the baby's asleep and you shake it and it cries.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It's the only way for the ride, I guess. Because, I mean, it'd be pretty tough to play a game that's like, so the baby's crying the whole time and you're like, well, I don't want to. And that'd be a brutal game. That would be the challenge. The challenge is like, it's just crying and you got to make sure it doesn't, you don't shake it.
Starting point is 00:16:07 This is the worst. Yeah. It's the worst game ever. If you go two minutes without shaking it, you get a stuffed teddy bear. Yeah. Two, imagine you guys sitting in a rocking chair and it's just welling. You've just got a litter of kids, like babies there. You just pick one up.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Imagine that. You've got to pay that guy more that runs that. Dude, that's – Imagine that guy that – He drew the short straw that day. He has to run. That's like worse than if you run. It's a small world.
Starting point is 00:16:39 They always say like those who work there, like it's just all day that. I mean, imagine just babies crying and you got to sit there and you got to make sure. That would be a fun theme. Like, I mean, just imagine going to that, like and you're explaining that ride to somebody or that game to somebody. You're like, how do you play that?
Starting point is 00:16:57 You're like, you know, I don't know, but you end up playing it a few times. Yeah. It's addictive. Yeah. I mean, because the cry has to just keep getting elevated. Then we have the baby hit you. The whole time you're getting hit with those foam.
Starting point is 00:17:14 You know, in football, how they always hit them with the foam? Oh, yeah. Bats. Trying to knock the ball out. Like, we just have that, too. The guy has to walk around just hitting people. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Baby crying. All you got to do is stop this shake that baby
Starting point is 00:17:29 shaking baby goes up in the county like in real life they do this they do the stats now we're in uh we have to ask what the source was and where those stats come from. It's a lawsuit going on. Pull up a graph of it. Yeah, here's a chart. Here's a chart of how many babies are being shook. Greg Cannon, on every new ride at Nate Land theme park, there's a lady that leans over a guy and says to you, hey, you need to cut your phone off.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Yeah, you know, I always get asked. That's an old joke. People ask if I ever found that lady and I did not. I bet she found you. Yeah. I hope so.
Starting point is 00:18:11 I've got another joke now in my new hour where it's another lady that did something. See if we can find her. It'd be interesting to see. I mean, we found that,
Starting point is 00:18:23 did we talk about that? The Cape Fear Serpentarium. Did we ever tell that part we found the kid that had to get bit by the snake you used to tell in your act yeah uh yeah so like yeah the cape fear joke where the the snake the guy the kid got bit by the snake but i can't remember the snake now. Gaboon Viper? Yeah, Gaboon Viper. And we found the story about that kid. And so the doctor actually emailed me. The guy that was the doctor. That's why it's fun to do these jokes.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Because it's like he gets out. And then people are like, hey. And that doctor emailed and said that kid, he got on the bus with the snake in the bag. And he was white or whatever it does to him. And the bus driver knew about snakes, was into snakes, and could tell something was up. And then was like, what was it? And then looked at the snake and was like, yo, dude, you got to go to the hospital like now like you're gonna die and uh and i think the bus might have drove him to the hospital and then the doctor worked on
Starting point is 00:19:33 him that day and then that that kid just ended up still not he didn't get it together after that let's just say i don't know i mean the kid's probably still alive but he was he just got in trouble he like i think didn't went to jail much later for stealing a car like oh really yeah Let's just say. I don't know. I mean, the kid's probably still alive, but he just got in trouble. He, like, I think didn't went to jail much later for stealing a car. Oh, really? Yeah. It wasn't like that stopped him. He just, you know, he knew what he was doing.
Starting point is 00:19:56 He's like, this is what I do, man. He's like, I mean, just. Cost of doing business, dude. Cost of doing, yeah. Get bit by a snake sometimes and just keeps rolling sally ann jones i was one of disney world's first princess anna character performers i think there were only like eight of us playing the role when i started so i was part of the insane frozen craze of that year i was cracking up when y'all were talking about the divide between the old characters
Starting point is 00:20:25 and the new characters, because that was totally true when I was there. Anna and Elsa were the, like the stuff with lines up to eight hours back then. However, most performers play more than one character. I performed as Ariel as well. So I wouldn't say it's too hostile between the old and new. Princesses really do love their jobs, and it was really hard for me to leave it to go back to college. I do feel so lucky to have been able to make magic for so many folks from all around the world. Yeah, she was in it. I mean, that was the top, you know? Your daughter may have met her.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah, yeah. the top you know your daughter may have met her yeah yeah i mean yeah i bet i mean her whole you just got people just telling her like we were there i think when you were there do you remember us at all and she's like i mean all these kids just blend in yeah she's like i don't i remember one kid and with all of your faces yeah and not and not for good reasons, probably. Yeah. Yeah, he threw up on me or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's got to be fun, though.
Starting point is 00:21:30 You're just seeing these. I mean, you just. Just making people's years, dude. Oh, every kid. Every kid that comes up is like, you're hurt. And then you're like, yeah. Yeah, I am. I am hurt.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Yeah, yeah. Chris Ramsey. Kings Island had a meal plan where you can eat a meal every few hours at a number of the in-park restaurants. My buddy lived and worked just a few miles away from the park, so he bought a Kings Island pass as well as an annual meal plan. He would drive to Kings Island on his lunch break as well as after work to eat for free. I always thought he was a genius until he eventually developed gout.
Starting point is 00:22:10 This took a turn. Which I attributed to his theme park calorie intake. Caloric. Sneaks up on you, man. Caloric? Caloric, yeah. I don't know what that is. It's calories.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Well, why would you not say that? Because it's used as an adjective in that sentence. You know? Oh, man. Did you know Chris Ramsey? Did y'all run in the same circles? Caloric intake. No, I know his buddy, though, who has gout, for sure.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Which I attribute to his theme park calorie intake you couldn't say calorie intake there you could say intake of calories or you can say caloric to his theme park intake of calories oh caloric what like makes you like with a word like calorie and then you're like all right great we're done with that word and then someone's like yeah what if we use it a different way you're like oh just put a c on the end of it then like just caloric is there just a c we'll just say caloric then okay all right that works next word and then they type right that out uh yeah out of caloric it's pretty smart though going to his buddy using caloric no not using caloric i'm less impressed
Starting point is 00:23:35 with that than you are i think but yeah i would have done exactly what this guy i would go there that makes unbelievable sense i used to live with a guy who would go to the movie theater not buy a ticket he'd just go shop at the concession stand oh yeah and then take it home he would just show up at home with like a it's the most expensive with an extra large he just loved movie theater popcorn okay yeah so he'd come home with an extra large popcorn i guess you see a movie he goes no you just go in use the concession stand you'd never think to do that ever you know well it depends on where they got that line at yeah where the ticket usually it's outside before you get your ticket pulled yeah yeah so you i feel like they caught on to that guy and then they just moved those people up a little further
Starting point is 00:24:20 is it different now yeah i mean if you go it depends yeah i it's it varies so there's you there's some where you can tell you can't get to concessions until you give them the ticket hollywood or uh hollywood 27 and opry mills opry mills was like oh opry mills you had to do that but that's in a mall so i bet they're trying to you know i bet there's a you know there's maybe a few of this yeah and then uh some some of them, yeah, you can have, like the guy is right in front of the theaters. I feel like it depends on how many theaters they have. Like if it kind of gets kind of wild back there,
Starting point is 00:24:56 and they got to be able to stop it. They got to stop you at some point. They have multiple ones some places too. They have another smaller one out there. Why would they care though if he did that? I don't know. It seemed like they would encourage it.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah, if you want to spend $8 on a tub of popcorn. Yeah. Nobody ever stopped him. I bet you could tell him, hey, I'm just won this popcorn
Starting point is 00:25:15 and I'm going to leave. And then they would, I mean, but it's not like, that would work if the owner was taking the tickets and he's like
Starting point is 00:25:21 looking for the money. It's a kid. Yeah. That's like, yeah, you can't do that. And the owner's like, dude, let him. He has to talk to him and he's like looking for the money it's a kid yeah that's like yeah you can't do that and the owner's like dude let him he has to talk to him he's like let him in dude yeah dude we don't care we don't god it was eight dollars yeah cost us one cent to make yeah they uh we used to go see movies two movies that was a big comic thing i feel i think it's a big
Starting point is 00:25:44 everybody's thing during the day day? During the day. Like you would do it all the time. You just go sneak in. I remember I saw Paul Blart. We went to... I feel like I was with my buddy Dustin, who's with me in Naples,
Starting point is 00:26:00 Florida, coming up in two weeks. But he did... We would go and we'd see one movie. And then we went to, we were like, I have to sneak in and do Paul Blart too. And so then we would just go walk into Paul Blart and sit and watch that. But it was, that movie was sold out. And two people had to sit on the stairs. Because you had their seats.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Yeah, because we had their seats. And I mean, I'm just not, I was like, we got to go. That's good. It's's fine we're already in like you know they know someone's yeah didn't pay for these tickets and so it's like you're like you got to just act like you're there and i mean i think we were too old i think we were just too old too old to be doing that we're too old to be doing that and too old to be where they're not going to come up to us because it's like well those guys are in their 30s yeah watching ball yeah like they are clearly they clearly bought tickets and been waiting for this day we just looked like paul blart was made for us yeah yeah you know if it's like teenagers
Starting point is 00:26:55 you're like well that's something's up yeah uh but there yeah we used to that would always go see uh we don't you don't go see movies. Go see a couple of them. Yeah. All right. Maybe. Y'all never did that? You ever sit through the same movie twice in a row? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:27:14 No. I didn't know. So that could be worse. But it's happening. What movie? Braveheart. I remember Lord of the Rings. The third lord of the rings we did that one time a three-hour movie yeah it was pretty long you did six it was a full day yeah what did
Starting point is 00:27:34 you want to see do you liked it so much it was a great movie man yeah i don't think i ever watched them they're pretty good yeah no i bet they are. Again, I think my age was kind of just like. Yeah, I was in third or fourth grade, fourth or fifth. And your family stayed? Everybody stayed? No, I went with a group of friends. Yeah. They just dropped you off and y'all went in there.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good times, man. You told your parents beforehand? You're like hey we're gonna stay for twice
Starting point is 00:28:07 no I don't think I did we didn't have cell phones so they just kinda how were you getting home like you're in third grade I mean that is Harper's I think
Starting point is 00:28:14 fourth or it's like Kramer's pants yeah how are you gonna get home it's probably more like fourth or fifth grade when that third I'm still
Starting point is 00:28:21 nine ten years old you have one parent that'll give everybody a ride and still we just get rides home yeah you know yeah i mean you're so you're nine ten years old you said you don't think harper could duck out to the movie theater and watch nine in a month uh i don't think we're gonna drop drop her off. I mean, I get the idea of dropping her off, but I think you've got to be teenagers before you really – even if I'm going to come pick them up,
Starting point is 00:28:51 I could see like even if you go pick them up and you're like, hey, we're going to drop you off, and they're like just call us on the pay phone or something when it's time to come. But I would – could you walk home? I think we had a buddy that lived next to the movie theater we could walk to and from his place and go from there it's a pretty big pretty big uh thing to forget about well i don't know if he did that all the time but
Starting point is 00:29:15 but that would make sense that was an option yeah an option would be if you got a buddy that lives nearby so y'all went to his house and then we'd go over you could go home right we could yeah yeah yeah how much for movies when you were a kid quarter i mean we'd go the matinee it'd be like a dollar fifty and in lebanon the matinee went to like five yeah now if it's after two they're like no it's like one movie yeah yeah man i even have trouble always getting to the matinees especially on the road because it's always like 11 or news and you're like not really up and running around by the end and so like a matinee is pretty tough you always go to like you have to go like a two
Starting point is 00:30:01 like a two a nice two o'clock movie two's great yeah nice two o'clock movie on the road. Two's great. Yeah. At two o'clock. Yeah. No one's in there. Pretty fun. I just remember before the internet, you had no way of knowing what movies were even showing at the local movie theater. I think the newspaper listed it, but you would call and there would be an answer. Just some guy who worked there would record a message telling you the names and the movies
Starting point is 00:30:23 and the times they're playing. So you better have a pen ready or you're going to have to start all over and call back. Yeah. That's the Seinfeld. Yeah, the movie phone. 5-5 Phil. Yeah, this was before movie phone.
Starting point is 00:30:35 This was just some guy. I'm like literally someone who works there. Yeah, every morning he had a – Like once a week, like probably every Friday morning. Yeah. You know, they book those i mean i we've learned it in the drive-ins movie theaters like they have there's agents that like have movies and be like hey we want you our movie to come to your place and that's how
Starting point is 00:30:56 they like get and they get them in and in the theater the drive-ins specifically have to like be like we don't want it you know or it it's not going to do well here or something. And this one, I remember, because in Louisville, the guy had, I mean, they were just begging him to take stuff. And he was doing live shows that he was like, I'm doing shows. He's like, I can't, you know. It's like, I got this going on. We don't have the room for it.
Starting point is 00:31:21 He knows who his customers are. He's like, this movie won't do well here. Yeah, yeah. But drive-ins would have trouble getting movies because they want them on as many screens as possible. And so driving is only one screen. And so it's like, well, you got to play there. But then with the pandemic, movies are closed, so it was all drive-ins.
Starting point is 00:31:42 So it was like just trying to get these movies at these drive-ins I hope drive-ins get stay popular yeah me too like it's like people
Starting point is 00:31:51 I hope people realize what they were and now are like oh yeah this is great and then just go you know it's such a fun
Starting point is 00:31:58 it's when we watched Halloween wasn't it yeah yeah it was awesome it was great Michael Deal Michael Deal you Michael Deal.
Starting point is 00:32:06 You are going to die when you hear this name. Megan Deal. I don't know what. Megan. Deal. D-E-E-L. Megan. Sorry, Megan.
Starting point is 00:32:22 And that was. I'm sorry. We should start putting the comments on the screen so people can read along and yeah figure out in real time what we're trying to do that uh yeah megan yeah i mean michael i'm sorry this is my buddy michael i'm sorry megan this is my buddy megan oh hey uh That was a turn. In high school, I was at Kings Island with my dad, brother, and cousin. My dad lost his keys early in the afternoon on a ride.
Starting point is 00:32:55 They told us we could look for them when the park closed. When was that at? Midnight. We wandered around freezing until the park closed, only to find out we had to sit outside the front gate until the workers searched the ride. They did again and again no luck meanwhile we sat alone outside in the cold next to the spooky music speakers and a fake guy dying in the electric chair every five minutes eventually they told us they couldn't find them and all the park employees left security gave us phone numbers to taxis that didn't pick up out there and we left and left too we were stranded and left completely alone outside we ended up calling 911 for a ride
Starting point is 00:33:32 to a hotel years later the single car ended up in our mailbox the single car key ended up in our mailbox in kentucky without the rest of the key set. Worst night of my life. The fact that they found them. Yeah. I wonder how the person knew how to find them. If you find a single car key, their address, maybe it was written on the key or something? Yeah. I almost don't believe it, Michael.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Yeah. You don't believe that they got the key? No. Security gave us, yeah years later the single car key ended up in our mailbox in kentucky without the rest of the key set i'd like someone did it as a joke or something they probably told that story and i believe all like the hanging out yeah that's crazy yeah it is crazy what a terrible day i mean just think like back then to know there's nobers. There's none of that stuff. Like, it's, you know, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Yeah. Like, I mean, you're just, you had to call. Yeah, I mean, like, taxis were, you didn't even know that they were a thing. Like, outside of New York. Like, I mean, yeah. Someone that's, like, if you met someone in any town, basically outside of New York, and you were like, I started a taxi company, you'd be like, why?
Starting point is 00:34:52 Who's taking them? I mean, you know, at the airport, I guess, they've been rolling. That's about it, though. That's about it. Yeah. Maybe people used them more. I mean, I remember people saying they were going to call a taxi, but I don't ever yeah we took a taxi from your tour bus aaron and i from pigeon forge to knoxville
Starting point is 00:35:10 and i think that was like one car in all of pigeon forge that that just was did it they didn't have uber or lyft they had one company it was one lady it was named after her yeah just one car yeah and she just got everybody around in that town i guess yeah yeah all right uh this week uh we're actually doing some little different we have uh no topic no topic we'll see if we can just do it without it yeah i have i doubt it do you feel better about it now versus yeah we should save it for the end to say that no no i like going i like let them know uh i like to see what's going to happen uh you know we've had a lot going on and uh a lot of stuff's happened so we're like you know that's what this is about it's about trying things.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Yeah. We should be able to do a podcast without having to have a topic. The topic is just to have the jokes and stuff like that. So we don't always, this is, it's not like even just trying it, but it's like, you know, let's talk about us, you know. We had a big weekend. I mean, to start off, Aaron Weber is a married man. Yep.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Congratulations. Married man. Yeah. Already dressed in the part. We, they, I mean, you know, used to be big jackets, fun, now camouflage hat. Hey. Carhartt sweater. Trying to get on y'all's level jeans yeah yeah jeans are a big
Starting point is 00:36:48 thing yeah kramer was a big change for me i didn't wear jeans probably 12 years and then now i just got three pairs of jeans nice yeah at the uh there's a wedding gift no so someone said welcome welcome to marriage here's some jeans. I always just wore khakis. I did that for a long time. Yeah. And I was like, I think it's time, dude. Khakis, I wore khakis a lot.
Starting point is 00:37:14 I remember khakis were cool. I wore them. I wanted to wear some on stage, too. I'll go back to some khakis. Khakis are fun. I always wore them. It was a very Southern thing to wear khakis. Yeah. Khakis are fun. I always wore them. Like, it was a very Southern thing to wear khakis. Yeah. I think.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Because you wear khakis in a T-shirt. And that was like a, I think that's pretty Southern. Khaki shorts. You're a khaki shorts guy, too? Yeah, yeah. But really, it was the khaki pants. People would wear khaki pants in a T-shirt. I remember when I was in high school, that was a big. We had to wear khaki pants on uh i think we could wear jeans we had to wear khakis
Starting point is 00:37:49 on wednesday you had to wear like a tie but uh but we khakis and a t-shirt was a big yeah yeah i wore khakis dude every day those were the only pants i'd wear and they were not flattering they didn't they didn't lucy would always be like uh you got to get pants that actually fit you yeah i was like these do fit she's like no they don't fit the right way yeah then i went and got some jeans that's but these are i guess these fit more correctly than my old pants did feels good you didn't buy them in a three-pack no yeah no it went to the mall went to the store. I mean, don't you have to buy new clothes now because you've lost so much weight? That was a big part of it, too, yeah. Now they definitely don't fit right. They look real weird.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Yeah. It's crazy. You have lost a ton of weight, dude, from the beginning of this podcast to when I saw it the other day. And it's a pretty— It's pretty noticeable from the side yeah yeah for sure yeah yeah you've done it in a short amount of time really right yeah i guess just a few months what did you do i i intermittent fasting i guess but i was pretty loose with it because i knew if it was too strict that i wouldn't yeah. But just kind of four hours a day. That's the window that I had to eat.
Starting point is 00:39:05 It's your feeding window? It's my feeding window. Yeah. Yeah. I said that to someone the other day. It's like a feeding window. I think some people say it like that. My feeding window.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Your feeding window. It just sounds like you're dumping it in a trough somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I kind of do that four hours different part of the day depending on what i got going on yeah and then i think the biggest thing was just not eating fast food dude yeah because i was eating fast food eight times a week yeah and i haven't had it yeah i mean i spent thirty thousand dollars i was gonna say you get it yeah yeah cutting that out was probably the biggest thing yeah i want to i know it made me i to try the – because I was like – I had to buy –
Starting point is 00:39:48 my clothes went Omaha. My bag didn't make it. So I had to go to the store to buy some stuff. And there was like this cool store, but it's called Gray, G-R-A-E. If you're in Omaha, it's a good store. They were very nice. They stayed open and let us because they were about to close, and we had to go straight from the plane because we missed our –
Starting point is 00:40:07 our flight was delayed, so we missed it. And we had to get another flight. And then – so I had to go there and buy stuff. And I bought, like, these hoodies to wear on stage. I actually liked what I was wearing. And then it's like I wore – I posted – I had a picture of it, like, on my Instagram. And it's like my just – I I would say my dumb fat nipples.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Just God, they're the worst. They are the worst. And like, I was like, I got it. You know, I've done good with no sugar. Then I ate ice cream at the end. I mean, something felt, I mean, like, it's like, it's just a nightmare. It's like, you're just eating. I mean, I, like, the other day I realized,
Starting point is 00:40:46 I mean, I think I had three hamburgers. Like it was like, just you're on the, like being on the road is just nothing's, you can't eat anything. Yeah. I don't think,
Starting point is 00:40:58 I don't, I mean, I know everybody like thinks of it when you have no consistency, when you're not at home, it's impossible. Yeah. And the way our schedules are is like every, when you have no consistency when you're not at home it's impossible yeah and the way our schedules are is like every when you go on stage you don't always want to eat before and then when you get off stage it's i mean you have two shows i mean i'm done it then you don't always want to
Starting point is 00:41:17 eat in the middle of the shows because you i mean you still like got like you get kind of amped up you're still you know it's like you don't have this big appetite and then you know if you can get done at midnight well there's nothing open yeah there's nowhere to go there's not like a you know it's like well mcdonald's i know sells like healthy stuff and you're like there's you're not going to just go there and be like all right i'll just get that every time yeah yeah it's in it's impossible what am i i human. Exactly. What do you want me to do? It's also like when you're on the road, like in an airport, like time doesn't exist in an airport. I had like PF Changs at like 8 a.m. one day.
Starting point is 00:41:55 I was like, what am I doing? Yeah, a real meal. Yeah, it's like a dinner meal. I mean, you get 8 in the morning, you know? Yeah. I've started doing that where I realized I can eat something. I can eat like a pizza at 8 a.m. Like you go to the airport and like the pizza is open.
Starting point is 00:42:10 You're like, I'll just eat this pizza. I feel like that's a line you don't want to cross. Yeah. I feel like that's where you get over and it's like you're like, I shouldn't be in the mood for this stuff. You don't need to have breakfast food for breakfast anymore. You can just get after it. Yeah. yeah actually i might redo that as a joke i'm trying to get like i need some more i was on the road with a a friend of mine and we we wanted to go to a red lobster we woke up at like noon or 12 30 and let's go to Red Lobster. But he was so set on having breakfast food first
Starting point is 00:42:46 that he went to McDonald's, ate breakfast food, and then came and ate at Red Lobster. He's like, it couldn't be the first thing I ate was seafood. Yeah, Laura's got to do that. Really?
Starting point is 00:42:59 Yeah, Laura's got to. She's in the order. That it's like, even if it's the act, like even if we're about to go, you know, if it's like 11 and like we're going to meet someone at lunch for 1230, it's like she's got to do a breakfast act. Coffee or something. Something's got to happen that's like somewhat breakfast. The idea of the meal is gone and then now I can move on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:22 I can roll right into whatever. I can eat anything late you know i've eaten ice cream like i've eaten cereal then like late and then then eat ice cream like when i'm trying not to eat ice cream i'll eat a bowl of cereal late at night then i'm like oh you know what i'll just go and eat this ice cream too but those are two very different foods to have and so you shouldn't i don't think you're at, you should be like, you should be like, no,
Starting point is 00:43:46 I can't, I could never right now. I like that you did the big, like, so I thought about doing that. You only did a four hour window. Four hours and then 20 hours off. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:56 How long were you doing? How long have you done this now? Since I think probably beginning of February. Yeah. And are you still going to continue it? I think I'm just going to keep doing it. Yeah. It's part of my routine now. Yeah. I broke it a lot this weekend. I kind of went off this weekend. Well, you should. Yeah. And are you still going to continue it? I think I'm just going to keep doing it. Yeah. It's part of my routine now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:05 I broke it a lot this weekend. I kind of went off this weekend. Well, you should. Yeah. Everyone was like, this is the one. Yeah. If you're ever going to take a weekend off, it's your own wedding. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Yeah. Right. So I ate a lot this weekend. But yeah, I've been doing it. I'll probably just keep doing it. Part of my routine now. Yeah. What is your window?
Starting point is 00:44:24 Would you do it? Usually 1030 to now. Yeah. What was your window? Would you do it? Usually 1030 to 230. Yeah. So I'd wake up, I'd eat like a meal at 1030 and then just snack for the rest of the four hours. Beef jerky, stuff like that. You were eating somewhat healthy, would you? And you didn't eat any fast food?
Starting point is 00:44:39 No, no fast food, no bread. Yeah. And no candy, stuff like that. Yeah yeah so i guess eating healthy too but well yeah that's pretty i mean that's you would have you could have probably ate more if you just maybe you cut bread out i think that's pretty big yeah that alone would have been a big change for sure i did a lot of like four life-changing things all at the same time yeah yeah i i like the idea i was i was telling someone because they were talking about it like losing weight because it's it's always hard with people always because
Starting point is 00:45:09 they're always like just eat everything in moderation you're like yeah dude you're like it's just hard like it's it's some people it's easy to do some people it's not or like you know just don't go eat you know if you go to mcdonald's or if you go eat somewhere you eat a burger but also get a salad and you're like you're like i don't my brain doesn't work like that like it's just i go i i do it all like i you know and i figure like if i eat a burger i'm like well i'm already eating bad might as well just do fries too like you know uh but i like the idea of the four-hour window because it's it's like at least putting some structure in a very non-structured life yeah like it's like you're whatever you're you know it's like and i know everybody say like people like oh that stuff doesn't work or blah blah whatever it's like it's
Starting point is 00:45:51 like tricks but intermittent fasting a lot of people live their life by that where it's like right you just kind of like do this window i always thought i would do my window if i want to try it and uh again just have it like like i I go, I'm here this week, but then next week is like, I got to go to, I'm going somewhere and then I got to go do another thing. Like I'm going to three different time zones next week, all in within three days of each other. And, and so like, that's, you're, you're just like, it's, it's, it like, it's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And if you just go like, I can't eat, then you just are like, all right, I can't eat. I got to avoid food. Right. And so then it's not like I'm deciding. But then if I'm in my little window, it's like, all right, if something happens, if you eat a burger and fries, it's like, at least it's in that window. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. If I just set those things up where I'm like,, at least it's in that window. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Yeah. But I just set those things up where I'm like, well, I just can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you got to go that extreme to go, well, I can't. No. Yeah. It's not an option at this point.
Starting point is 00:46:53 It's not an option. My window's closed. Yeah. Your honeymoon, you'll probably have to break it. Oh, I'll probably go off on that. Yeah. Yeah. Where are y'all going?
Starting point is 00:47:00 We're going to Alaska. Yeah. Real big man vacation, huh? Wait, what are you wait you look like like it's like you like the cold weather like in the summer i do like she's like what about a beach you're like what about alaska you know somewhere i wear a coat yeah yeah it's uh it's gonna be a little chilly up there it's a good time to go though june it's not gonna be crazy like 50s It's a good time to go, though, June.
Starting point is 00:47:23 It's not going to be crazy. Like 50s? 50s and 60s, I think. Yeah, that's good. Up to 70s sometimes. We'll see. Yeah. We're going there for a week.
Starting point is 00:47:33 We leave next week. Where do you stay? It's this thing where you take a train every day from city to city. Oh, really? So it will be in Anchorage, and then we end up in Fairbanks. We'll do dog sledding. Yeah, that's awesome. And fly a plane over the Denali National Park and stuff. So it'll be fun, dude.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Not actually go see any of this stuff. Just kind of. Just fly over it. Just fly over it. Ride by it on a train. Fly over it. You're like, did you ever touch the ground? You're like, not really.
Starting point is 00:48:02 No, never actually walked out in the. We hike one day, I think. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just along for the ride. Did you look at that hike? Pretty tough? When they said a hike, you're like, what is it? I think Lucy did on my behalf.
Starting point is 00:48:16 She was like, I think we need to take a... Let's take the easy route. Yeah. Start at the top. Well, you'd want to go just... Yeah. The planes will drop you off up there. The planes drop us off at the top? Take a helicopter over do that there you would want i mean the hiking in alaska would
Starting point is 00:48:30 be i mean everybody needs to probably you got to really check out like what are we talking about yeah exactly like it could get i'm not trying to go up a mountain dude yeah yeah i'll walk around in a circle yeah by a lake or something. I see a bear up there. Yeah. Oh, they told, we're going to see wildlife too. We go to this wildlife sanctuary,
Starting point is 00:48:50 bear, moose. Moose are, Moose are huge. When I did, yeah, I can't even remember what stories I told
Starting point is 00:48:59 about them in Maine. I told that, right? Yeah. Yeah. The moose, they kill people. Yeah. So,
Starting point is 00:49:05 be careful with that. I that, right? Yeah. Yeah, the moose, they kill people. Yeah. So be careful with that. I'll remember that. Yeah. I'll stay away from them. I think, yeah, it could be worse than bears. You think? I don't know. I mean, but I think so.
Starting point is 00:49:18 I thought I've heard that, but I don't know for sure. That kind of sounds right. I believe you if you said it with confidence. Yeah, I feel like a bear everybody's naturally scared of, and a mo people are not and they don't realize it's like hippos yeah oh yeah like you know like hippos are like that where everybody you think you're looking for the alligator you'd be looking you'd be looking for that hippo hippo is the problem yeah that's the yeah they're brutal yeah and they can move too and they're hungry they're one of the deadliest animals in the world i think yeah it's like a It's like offensive linemen in the NFL, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:48 where they still run like a 4'9", 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, I guess 300 pounds. He's just a fat guy. No, he's running a 4'5". Yeah. He can move. Did your groomsmen like their groomsmen gift?
Starting point is 00:49:59 Yeah, they did. I think so. Because I saw one in the trash at the wedding. Stop. He did. Chipper Jones just wasn't there. Yeah. Who were the players?
Starting point is 00:50:16 Chipper Jones, Ken Griffey, Derek Jeter, Bo Jackson, Mike Trout, and R.A. Dickey. Those are the ones I think. Oh. Is R.A. Dickey tough? Is that guy kind of like R.A. Dickey? Or is R.D. the most perfect one uh r.a dickie was i mean it's the least valuable of all the cards for sure but it was hard it was hard to find because nobody's out there going yeah i need an autographed r.a dickie rookie card you got them all autographed
Starting point is 00:50:37 no a couple of them yeah not not you just went to r.a dickkey's house and said, yeah, I'll do it. He's from here, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's from here. I mean, who did you give that to? R.A. Dickey? Was he in your wedding? I mean, the Mike Trout, did you say it was $2,000?
Starting point is 00:50:56 Yeah, that's a rookie. I didn't get him a rookie. Oh, okay. So that's a wide range there. No. Yeah. You got a Tony Gwynn? Yeah, I gave Dustin a Tony Gony gwen one that was autographed that
Starting point is 00:51:06 was one of the more expensive yes wow yeah yeah well that's because i mean yeah he's he's passed away tony gwen is amazing yeah do you think tony gwen more than any player in any sport you identify with one team like the pod like he is the padres yeah well mike trout's that way yeah well it's Chipper Jones. That was the big thing with Chipper Jones. And Derek Jeter, actually, with the Yankees. Actually, a few of them. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:51:30 And the Yankees, they've had a million star players. Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle. I'm talking about a guy. I'm talking about you think of the team, who's the first player you think of. I don't think. I do, yes. I do think it is with that, with Tony Gwynn.
Starting point is 00:51:45 But I don't know if people – that was so long ago. Yeah. And, like, he's not – I mean, Tony Gwynn is one of the greatest players ever. Yeah. But, like, he's never in a big market, so he's not Derek Jeter. I'm not saying he's – no, I'm not saying he's popular. But if you know about baseball, think about the Padres. Tony Gwynn is by far –
Starting point is 00:52:07 But I think people are going to – they just won't think of him. Like, it's like – you know what I mean? Like, you got to be so popular that you don't ever go away. Like, the way that people talk about Babe Ruth still now or Mickey Mantle now, I think they don't talk about Tony Gwynn because they were at the biggest team. Like Mike Trout. Mike Trout could end up being done.
Starting point is 00:52:29 There's people that probably don't even – they never even heard the name Mike Trout. And Mike Trout is arguably, people think, one of the best ever to play the game. And so, like, yeah, you're going to – they might – Albert Pujols would probably be a lot of people like, oh, that's like Albert Pujols. He went to that team, right? Because he was with the Cardinals. He was a bigger team.
Starting point is 00:52:48 And there's going to be people that don't even know Mike Trout. Yeah. That's where I think Tony Gwynn's a little in that boat. Yeah. And I wasn't arguing so much. Yeah, just name recognition. I guess I'm saying for baseball fans that know the sport. If you want to keep trying to make your point, then you can.
Starting point is 00:53:03 But just – Yeah, I just didn't think you were getting what well you're saying i totally get what you i get what you're saying but yeah i mean if you yeah if you're i guess if you're a diehard baseball fan and you're our age then i think tony glenn absolutely identifies with yeah the padres all right well i think point made i think guys like that are interesting now because in this era it's like athletes feel like they're always chasing the highest paycheck and they're jumping teams and building super teams and whatever yeah and it's rarer now for these guys to just spend their whole career with one team and that was the chipper
Starting point is 00:53:40 jones spent his whole career with the braves i think he actually took a pay cut to free up salary space on his team. You just don't hear about people doing that anymore. That's why it's cool. I don't think Mike Trout or Chipper Jones would find this conversation good.
Starting point is 00:53:58 We're talking about them. They would probably be like, fast play hits 10 seconds a couple times on the thing. Are they still done? And then Chipper Jones. Oh, God. He's like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:10 He just has to go way forward. He goes back to just to vory.com and listen to the ads. That's something fun. So this was at your wedding. We're going to show this. These were given away. I didn't even see these. I was telling them. I didn't even see these at your wedding. We're going to show this. These were given away. I didn't even see these. I was telling them I didn't even see these at the wedding.
Starting point is 00:54:29 That's what Aaron's known for. This is what Lucy's known for. They had some Zany's cookies there as well. Oh, yeah. Do y'all ever let up about the Notre Dame thing? Are you pretty hammering home as the fam? Do you feel like we laid it on pretty thick? I mean, you gave cookies away that have Notre Dame on them.
Starting point is 00:54:50 That's about it, though, right? I feel like we didn't do... We didn't walk into the fight song or anything. Well, y'all started singing it real late. It was great to meet a lot of your family. Yeah? Yeah. I liked talking to them.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Your dad tried to get me to do comedy that night. No. tried to negotiate with me cash and i was like he just didn't have enough money are you serious no i wanted to be mortified no your dad was great just to be like your dad he goes i gave you 200 bucks to do like 10 minutes and i go look man i go my money's gone up a lot and we're 300 now that's what i told him and he goes i don't kind of have that kind of loot is what he said and i said well then go find it pretty demanding and then he tried to find it and came back with less money to be honest yeah he was actually i go so how does it look he goes i lost 100 because i was trying to get up to three and i've lost 100 and i go how did that happen and then we both had to go chase that guy down and I think you know who that was
Starting point is 00:55:48 well what you're describing is like my worst nightmare no no so I mean they were your whole family was wonderful okay uh good yeah your dad was great like like hey yeah I thought you were I thought I was worried that they would be like it's always joke about y'all's family like you know like whatever they're like hey your family is awesome dude they get it like they're Like, hey, I thought you were – I was worried that they would be – because I always joke about y'all's family. Like, you know, like, what if they're like, hey, your family is awesome. Do they get it? Like, they're, like, very fun. Yeah, yeah. And then your cousins, they like all the jokes about your family.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Oh, yeah? They said your family was very talented, and it was always like – your cousins all had to, like – it'd always be like, hey, here comes the Weber family, and y'all are, like, singing songs, like the Von Trapp family. Yeah. That's what he used to call it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Every, every Christmas is just like, y'all do a talent. You go, Hey, we're going to do a talent show. Yeah. And then you're,
Starting point is 00:56:35 everybody else is like, we have no talent. And you're like, Oh, all right, well maybe we'll just do some stuff. And then y'all are like, you played piano during your wedding.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Oh, yeah. Yeah. a little bit. The band were guys that we used to play with, my buddy and I. So they brought us to play. They were great. They were awesome, weren't they? Yeah. The whole wedding was great.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Was there any behind-the-scenes problems? Very nice. No, nothing that we haven't talked about. The wedding was very, nice yeah i missed the uh ceremony that's okay uh you know i feel like yeah i we were there i waited outside the gate till it was over uh seven minutes yeah it was short dude it probably was seven probably less than seven i knew it was seven yeah seven minutes we barely yeah yeah. Yeah. I was coming from Omaha is why I missed it. And like, so we couldn't get there.
Starting point is 00:57:29 And we got there right when it ended. I was coming from St. Louis and I made it. Huh? You had a nonstop flight. What time did you leave? I had a layover. I left at, I think I left at noon. I had a layover.
Starting point is 00:57:44 I left at 8.55. 8 55 yeah well this is all you got going is this wedding so you work one weekend a year uh so yeah it's pretty easy to not miss it there we had two shows did y'all have two shows? For the weekend. Yeah. I mean, pretty easy. Yeah. I wasn't done until pretty late. It was your weekend good? Yeah. Old Salmon.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Yeah, it was great. It was great. Great crowds both nights. Met some folks there. Yeah. Got off to nothing to do with the club. The club was great. But my car, I took my car in the shop last week because the check engine light came on.
Starting point is 00:58:29 And the guy came out and he sits down with me. So it's almost like they're notifying you that I got some bad news. Yeah. And he's like, rodents have eaten through your fuel line and some type of harness, some type of tank harness, and it's going to be $4,000 to fix it. Oh my gosh. Now, my wife's had this problem, and her dad, who lives with us,
Starting point is 00:58:54 has had the same problem. We really need to build a garage. Yeah. But $4,000 damage, and he's like, you need to call your insurance company to see if they'll cover it. And they did.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Wow. Because of the squirrels. Yeah, squirrels or chipmunks. Rodents, oh you just said rodents right now then that's what i said yeah i was about to ask you which which one it's either squirrel or chipmunks because we have a bunch of both yeah and but every car that's been parked at your house has had has had this happen yeah yeah so we got a major truth should have uh disclosed this when y'all got married i feel i agree like at the wedding should have been like hey just before we go all the way through this understand when you move into my home your house will be attacked by squirrels yeah for real we could have paid for a garage by all this but my insurance covered it but then i
Starting point is 00:59:41 didn't have a car So Renting cars right now Are so expensive It's hard to even get Rental cars right now And they're very expensive A plane ticket Was exactly the same amount of money So I flew to St. Louis
Starting point is 00:59:53 And Ubered To the hotel Wow In O'Fallon And then I get So I get there early Because I flew
Starting point is 01:00:01 So I get the hotel at 115 And I walk in And I'm like checking in And the lady said The room's not available until 3. And this wasn't one of those, like, let me see what we can do. She was like, come back in an hour and 45 minutes. I mean, she wouldn't even. And 3 is probably pushing it.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Being generous? Yeah. So I'm like, all right. I got my backpack and just a little carry thing. And then I'm like, and I don't have a car. Right. So there's nowhere there to hang out. There's a quick trip right next door. Well, there is a quick trip. thing and then I'm like and I don't have a car right there's nowhere there to hang out there's
Starting point is 01:00:25 a quick trip right well there is a quick trip so about that time when she's giving me this bad news I'm like why are the back of my pants wet like I didn't sit anything so I kind of stepped off in that little partition area where the door sliding doors are and I'm like why is my pants so wet and then my backpack was all wet so I had to go outside on the sidewalk and open my backpack and dig through. I had a bottle of water that the top had come off. It just dumped water in my backpack with my computer, my camera, and a few other things. And my pants are soaking wet.
Starting point is 01:00:56 So I don't know where to go. It's freezing cold there this weekend. So I call an Uber, and he picks me up at the quick trip. And I was like, just, I mean, I put in to go to Applebee's. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:08 That's where she said the good restaurant was. So. That was the recommendation for the city. So I get in the Uber and the guy goes, I'm going to run this quick trip real fast
Starting point is 01:01:16 and get me a few things. So I'm just sitting in his car for a while with it running and he runs in. Just in the backseat in your wet pants the same very pants i was trying to return that day the only pants i brought for the whole weekend by the way
Starting point is 01:01:31 because i'm there for 48 hours yeah and he goes in he gets him a five-hour energy drink and a few other things he's in there a while and then he takes me to applebee's And when I got out of the car I picked up my bag His floorboard was wet And his seat was wet And there was a trail of water Like I look back a few times Just dripping with me as I walked So then I go to Applebee's And I sit in this wet booth
Starting point is 01:01:58 By myself And then finally Like everywhere I go There's just a trail of tears And then I get to the hotel And I have to get a hair dryer and blow dry my pants and the clothes that I had stuffed in my carry-on bag. I just have to blow dry. I haven't used a blow dryer since the 90s.
Starting point is 01:02:20 That hotel sounds like that's the blow dryer from the 90s. Oh, it was. It was. So you're feeling pretty good about the weekend by this point, right? Yeah, I mean, it got off to a rough start. But the shows themselves were great. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:35 I just had wet pants. He outsold me. Brian outsold me by 12 tickets. Wow. Wow. Big money. Just a little bit bigger girl. No foul.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Yeah. That's a great club, man. Wow. Yeah. Big money. Just a little bit bigger girl. No foul. Yeah. That's a great club, man. People came out. People had fun. Yeah. That's what I heard. Yeah. Very nice people.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Like I said, met some of our folks. They came out. It was great. Yeah. So, but with the squirrel. So, squirrels, I've never even heard of this. I posted it on our community Facebook page, and so many people commented that this is a thing. I guess there's soy is in the fuel lines,
Starting point is 01:03:10 and it's attracted to it, and they just bite into them. Why don't we stop putting soy in there? Soy sauce? I don't know. But now they're giving us ways to like. He has stuff leaking everywhere. Maybe there's soy sauce leaking from the bottom of his. It could be
Starting point is 01:03:25 I stole some from that Applebee's what is soy I don't even know alright see there's why does everybody see that
Starting point is 01:03:35 y'all just said soy neither one of you know what it is it's not soy sauce I get it's not soy sauce but everybody but like I always think everybody
Starting point is 01:03:43 you go like I'm not saying you do this but most everybody well I am saying you do always think everybody is you go like i'm not saying you do this but most everybody well i am saying you do this and most everybody goes they go there's soy in the bottom of it and they go okay you don't know what soy is but everybody just says the soy and no one ever knows what everybody goes well what is it and then that's when people like me feel dumb is because i'm like god i don't know what soy is and then you go hey guess what nobody knows what it is yeah i don't know what it is. And then you go, hey, guess what? Nobody knows what it is. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I just know it's some type of food that has a certain smell, apparently. What attracts rodents is the fairly recent plant
Starting point is 01:04:13 based composition of hoses, wires, and other plastic and rubber like materials. I don't know all the details, but at some point in recent history, federal law mandated the use of soybeans as an ingredient. So this article says, I don't know the details. But at the bottom it says soy-based plastic. Why would you write an article and in it go, long story short, I didn't really dive too much into it. I had to just do this article on the way out. They did something. I mean, that's basically the reason I wrote this article.
Starting point is 01:04:45 It's just, how do you put that? How is that in the, I don't believe anything this person says at all. Yeah, I don't know all the details, but that's- What is this from? This is from a stack exchange. These are just people posting. Somebody asked a question and then people are answering. Oh, so it's not an article.
Starting point is 01:05:02 This isn't like a New York Times article. I mean, golly. I don't know all the details. Long story short, blah, blah, blah. They chewed through the thing. Yeah. So the people have said put out fake rubber snakes to scare the squirrels away. Moth balls, I guess.
Starting point is 01:05:20 They're going to look like a Halloween over there all year long. I know. Yeah. We already have a fake owl that all year long. I know. Yeah. We already have a fake owl that we put up. We have so many squirrels. That thing's not really working. It is not.
Starting point is 01:05:32 Well, it's in the back, but... Yeah. Why would you not put it in the front where the main problem is? Well, they were getting on our roof. It's a major problem.
Starting point is 01:05:40 I mean, dude. The tech. Golly. This is like the bird movie by Alfred Hitchcock was squirrels where they don't like attack you they're just like you know and you can't kill them well it's in it's against the law to purposely in city limits to kill them you can throw them from a airplane but they'll still live yeah they're gonna land that yeah no problem you can kill a squirrel
Starting point is 01:06:03 right if it's yeah if it's destroying your property. How would I kill it? You set up a trap or something. Shoot it. I don't think you can just be shooting them. Like BB guns, people, you know, something like that. Yeah. I mean, by the time you're –
Starting point is 01:06:20 I think by the time your brain would tell you to pull that trigger, that squirrel's going to be fine. I don't think you're going to hit it. Brian out there, the BB gun, the Air Force hat, shooting squirrels from the porch. And that Beyonce just looks like something's wrong with him. The neighbors are like, they see her parents come out, and they just think, oh, he still lives with his parents?
Starting point is 01:06:42 They don't know that. He's got that hat on, that camouflage hat with a BB gun. He's just out there looking at all these squirrels. And her parents come out, did you get them? And they're like, oh, I guess he still lives with his parents. They think that I think they can't see me. Sniper. They can't see me Sniper
Starting point is 01:07:04 I mean They would lay his wet backpack on It's dripping water And they just People just coming up asking if he's okay He goes yeah I'm doing real good You know I live on my own now
Starting point is 01:07:20 I think that's the tops I think that's the tops yeah i think that's the top thank you oh man so yeah that's a great image oh and then the guy we're gonna see a nice drawing of that i just want to see someone's gonna draw you with a wet backpack with a bb here came on looking for squirrels the guy at the car dealership says, one of the parts I need won't be in until October. Oh, wow. Again, because of COVID, somehow everything's backed up.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Man. They're working. I'll tell you what, a big, big problem. And it's one that you feel like there's always problems in the country. Some of them you're always like, I don't. It's almost like the tax, or whatever some crazy stuff like that is, you don't fill. But this working is a big problem.
Starting point is 01:08:15 They cannot hire people anywhere. McDonald's here has a big sign. They're paying off. We need people. You go to hotels, dude. they're so understaffed. And getting a room cleaned, just not going to happen. And some of it they say because of COVID, but they don't have the staff. Even these – you go to a restaurant.
Starting point is 01:08:43 The great restaurant we talked about, I think we talked about the hotel, Cerity. I think it was Cerity. I can't remember it isn't in des moines downtown great hotel restaurant down there awesome people but he talked about like people would see these tables open and like when you go by the restaurant they don't look like they're busy you know and everybody's like well you can sit people and he's like we don't have the staff to sit people we can't it's not even about coveting what's about like we can't have the staff to sit people. It's not even about COVID anymore. It's about we can't get anybody to work. That's a major. You can feel it, dude.
Starting point is 01:09:10 It's everywhere. I mean, Omaha, when I started eating at Omaha, it's like this one girl behind. And you have to go pay at a counter, a different store, because she's got to cook this food. And she's just by herself. food. Like it's just, and she's just by herself. Yeah. And like there's no one there. That's what happened to the Applebee's
Starting point is 01:09:30 that I ended up going to. We walked in and there's nobody there and they're like, it's going to be a wait. Who'd you go in with? There's just people coming in right in front of me.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Oh. No, I was by myself. I know it's the Uber driver. You're trying to act like you have more friends than you do. You're like, no, we all go in.
Starting point is 01:09:44 My road manager yeah and my agent and my assistant yeah you go look we're going to get a table
Starting point is 01:09:52 we'll all be grouped together you're my road manager you're my agent you're my assistant I'm a comedian they go I want to be a comedian
Starting point is 01:09:59 he's fine whatever alright you be the comedian I'll be the road manager alright let's go in there let's go in there and act like we're a table for four business meeting, please. We're from Hollywood. You're from Memphis, Tennessee.
Starting point is 01:10:13 That's my favorite Andy Kaufman. Did I say that? I've never seen that. It's like, it's the Jim Carrey movie where he's talking about wrestling people. Man in the Moon? Yeah, Man in the Moon. And he goes, he's wrestling women, which is so funny. It's so funny, dude, that Andy Kaufman wrestled women
Starting point is 01:10:33 and then would get people just furious that he's wrestling these women. And then he went to Memphis, Tennessee. Look up the Memphis, Tennessee, the Hollywood thing. And he yells at me. Me and Soder always do it. He goes, I'm... He goes,
Starting point is 01:10:48 you're all just from Memphis, Tennessee. I'm from Hollywood. And just yells at them all. And they would be so mad that he said that. It's... Jerry Lawler? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Oh, that's what he... I guess it's Jerry Lawler. Yeah. This's what I would guess Jerry Lawler Yeah This is It's the There's no way We're gonna be able To play this
Starting point is 01:11:09 Yeah Give me a minute To find it Yeah Yeah Maybe I guess he said It's Jerry Lawler
Starting point is 01:11:14 It's just so It's such a funny Thing to Say I mean Dude Him wrestling women Is so great
Starting point is 01:11:23 Yeah Somebody commented That we we failed to mention that during the wrestling episode but yeah that's true that was a that was a thing for a while yeah well he did it as a it's a joke joke yeah that whole jerry lawler thing on letterman all that was so great oh yeah they were all in on it i mean that's the fact that no one knew think back then i mean there's you could do so much stuff. Now, there's a lot of stuff people don't know on the internet. You don't know the story.
Starting point is 01:11:51 You don't know whatever. A lot of fake stories get kind of thrown out very quickly. Back then, it's like this slow build of he's just playing the whole country. And everybody. And then him and Lawler fight and they he punches him and like it's uh on letterman it's i mean i don't know if letterman was in on it uh i don't know if he was i can't remember if he was either he slaps him like hits him hard yeah i mean jared the king lawler i don't know if here does he ever get the credit he should get for that like it's such a i mean it's so great yeah i'm from you're from memphis tennessee
Starting point is 01:12:27 i'm from hollywood it's such a great uh anyway so yeah i've never heard the squirrel thing though pretty well i guess it's a common thing though just based on the google search it's a pretty common thing but a real bummer that it happened to you, man. Yeah. Sorry about that. So I'm going to be needing some rides. Yeah. All right. Until October. I got you.
Starting point is 01:12:50 I'm going to ask you, was Taylor Swift's brother at your wedding? No, he didn't end up being there. Yeah. Man. Did you send one to her just as an offer? Send her an invitation? Yeah. I told him he could have a plus one.
Starting point is 01:13:04 Yeah. Bring family or whatever. Yeah, bring whoever you want. I think you almost don't. This is, I was talking to Lucy about it. You almost kind of don't want her to be there. No, you do. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I do. You do in the fact that, like, look, you do in the fact that it's not like you know her. Like, you're, like, friends with her. Like, you know, it's like you're friends with her brother. But I would say her brother would almost could have an argument and say he would rather her not be there. Definitely. But you do in the story of, like, it would just be a zoo. Sure.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Crazy. Right. So that's kind of fun. But, like, if her, you know a cousin is like it just if she doesn't you know or i mean her brother you know it's like it's always about you so i mean but you want your sister there i mean how do you not want that but like he could have an argument to be oh you mean for his wedding yeah for his wedding i'm saying like for you you do like sure these are just things you tell yourself yeah when yourself when she's not there.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Yeah. You know what I mean? No, no, I know. I didn't want her here. But it's like, but like her, I could see someone in her family being like, it's too much. Yeah, when do I get to have my moment? Yeah, yeah. It's always you.
Starting point is 01:14:17 People are always talking about you. And she probably feels that too. I imagine if it's always about you, you know that. Yeah. And you don't want to steal someone else's thunder. Yeah. Well, you want to go and almost just be like, just try to sit in the back and watch and try to stay out of the,
Starting point is 01:14:34 have it be very dark. I didn't see Dusty slaying. I mean, you could easily avoid someone. I did. I avoided Dusty. He did. And it was pretty easy. He stood at the head table yeah he didn't see him uh i saw him no i saw him i just never got to him like yeah
Starting point is 01:14:54 well that was a weird thing about uh being the groom i saw so many people that i wanted to that i hadn't seen for a while and you have very little face time with anybody. Well, you did good when y'all went around to the tables. Yeah. That was good. Just make your rounds. You got to do something like that. You got to be in control of going to see everybody.
Starting point is 01:15:14 Yeah. And so you got to go and be like, let me just go hit every table. And you come over and you say, thanks for coming and blah, blah, blah. And then you do see everybody. And then you can kind of go do your own thing. And then if everybody wants to see anybody else anymore, then you can. Yes.
Starting point is 01:15:29 Yeah. You kind of have like, you have like 30 seconds with everybody. Just like friends from college, I hadn't seen in years. And I was like, oh, it's good to see you, man. Thanks for coming. And that's pretty much it.
Starting point is 01:15:39 That's all I got. Well, they got to see you. They would have to see you before. Yeah. It's like the wedding is, the wedding day I think is like, it's most everybody's most everybody it's like chaotic yeah they always tell you to eat i mean yeah i don't think we i don't know if we ate at ours like are they they make a plate for you later and you eat it it's cold like you don't get always get like this perfect meal
Starting point is 01:15:58 why everybody gets everybody gets it's really everybody else gets to eat this wonderful food, and then you end up eating a cold. You eat whatever was cold in the back later on. I was watching Phyllis' wedding episode of The Office yesterday. It's so, and just hours after your wedding, it's just so funny. Michael gets up to make that toast. He says, Webster defines wedding as the fusing of two metals together with a hot torch. It's so great.
Starting point is 01:16:32 What is it? Welding? He was welding. He clearly looked up. He was welding. And you two are gold metals. Yeah, it was great. It was, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:47 I was just telling you, our wedding was, which I've talked about it. We're going to do, like, I need to do a reception again. Because Laura was saying, like, renewing vows or if we got remarried or something like that, but she thinks it's the kiss of death to do that. Like, then you definitely split up. But a lot of people renew vows.
Starting point is 01:17:07 I think it's pretty common. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't hear about all of them don't make it afterwards. It's 100%. It's 100 for 100 that renews vows. Just it's over. It's a stat.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Yeah. A lot of people go do renew their vows. But what are you renewing your vows i guess you're just like you're still together like what do you you know it's like almost i know people who join a different type of church yeah and they want to get renew their vows in that church that makes sense that makes sense but just renewing your vows out of nowhere another public declaration of where yeah we still love each other yeah not the fact that you walk around yeah just behind you all day like is this that's not enough that's
Starting point is 01:17:50 not enough you want more than that there's uh yeah i would do a reception again i would like to do like that like do something like that like you know just i mean basically just on another party but like ours like to do ours where we we just just, you know, we, we got married. We just, it was not, it was not that. It was, uh, it was fun. It's a weird, the whole weekend is a weird merging of, of like, of worlds. Yeah. Worlds colliding.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Yeah. Friends from high school, friends from college, comedy college comedy that world and then my family yeah and then all of lucy's family it's just all these different worlds coming together you know like when are these people ever going to be in the same room ever probably never hopefully not yeah uh well i think most hope not i mean most are like if i'm ever in these these you know yeah i feel like it's weddings and funerals. Yeah. And I just, my cousin passed away a couple weeks ago suddenly,
Starting point is 01:18:49 and I met so many of his friends that I never knew and got to know, like, I know so much more about his life now. Through them. Yeah, and it's a shame. Like, why didn't I meet these people beforehand so we had this common bond? So that's why the wedding, it's so nice. Now I've met your family, your close friends, and it's nice and celebratory instead of a sad reason.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Right. Yeah, it's sad that that's what it takes. Yeah, Lucy's parents are great. Yeah, they're awesome. Aaron Land got a shout out. I was going to say, he had a lot of inside jokes about Nate Land in the Father of the Bride speech. Yeah, he said, if you're not here, we're live streaming the Bride speech. Yeah. He said, if this is not going to be, if you're not here,
Starting point is 01:19:27 we're live streaming it on Aaron Land. Yeah. And I'm going to say, I don't feel like it got as much as we wanted to. There's a very specific. Oh, so inside. Yeah, like it was like they were like, you had to miss that episode. But Aaron Land's my favorite. You pointed out that the girl, Lucy's friend that you grew up with,
Starting point is 01:19:47 was making these references to their childhood. And you pointed out how much younger and difference in age they are. Oh, the references were. Yeah, what did they? I can't remember now. The music they listened to and the shows they watched. It was all like 99. She's like, oh, remember we did this?
Starting point is 01:20:09 Some of it was early 2000s. I'm like, i feel like that just happened what was the reference would you remember i remember some of them just said they watched uh they would watch the best of will farrell and i said yeah the best of where you're like i watched will farrell i watched you know like and then like just being like i remember when he retired and we were in like, and like they're watching his retirement video of Will Ferrell's retirement video. Yeah. And we're like, that's so crazy. And it's just like, we were so, we were, they were Harper's age. Yeah. Like it was unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:20:38 I can't remember, like Boy Meets World or something like that. Boy Meets World. Yeah. I think that got referenced once or twice. Some rapper that, yeah, I can't remember. I don't remember. Dorfman said, the guy that owns Zany's, he told me about hiring Lucy.
Starting point is 01:20:52 It was very nice. He's like, the story, like he met her, she was an assistant or something in Charlotte. Yeah. Heffernan, which is a great, Comedy Zones are in Charlotte and they've been around forever and he's a great dude. And she was like, just he could her passion yeah for comedy and was like if you get when you get done with school if you want a job you you got the job and then she's there yeah she's interned at the box office emailed him once a week for months until he got a response
Starting point is 01:21:21 yeah wow that's great well his story acts like he just called and he goes, yeah, absolutely. Like it was just easy. It's always that the person that's hiring is always like, and I just knew she would be the one, so I hired her immediately. And then she's like, I took a long time, actually. The real answer is probably in the middle. Yeah, it's always in the middle. I emailed twice, and then he got back to me.
Starting point is 01:21:43 Yeah, yeah. Hers is like, I had to fly down there. I for the job i fall for this and you're like well we're in the middle yeah that's true everything is always in the middle you know it was funny that uh that uh dustin nickerson who officiated the wedding pointed out to me is while these speeches were going on it's there's still just comics standing in the back of the room yeah that's everywhere you go the families are all sitting down and then just lined up along the back we're all just the comics yeah it's like i would love to be standing over there with those guys yeah during all this i think it's hard for people to give speeches to like that like they're when they do have to give a toast
Starting point is 01:22:21 because they know it's just comics there yeah and so And so, but I always think when people, if you do give speeches, all the toasts and stuff are great. It's like just be, we still laugh at like funny, corny jokes or whatever. Yes. Like it's still, we still think that's funny. We're not just like, you know, we're not like just sitting there going like. Oh, what a hack. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:40 Yeah. Yeah. If it's from the heart, a true story. Right. That's what I told uh my best man because i think he was stressing out about it a little bit i was like dude just nobody cares yeah you wrote it just wrote his speech for him aaron by the way aaron lost so much weight which is amazing how good he looks uh and he was just one of the smartest and funniest. Most humble guys.
Starting point is 01:23:05 Carries the Nate Land podcast. I always say that. It was very specific. And what was the car that you guys left in? Some 1952 Jaguar, I think. How far did y'all go? We just drove to the hotel. It was like 10 minutes in
Starting point is 01:23:25 the driveway oh yeah but it's pretty cool we were sitting in there we get in this nice car we drive away and uh there's a driver and i was i was talking to him i go is this like a pretty sweet car and he was like dude it's an honor to drive this car he said i'm a car guy it's an honor to even be in this vehicle he was so fired up about yeah i don't know anything about this yeah that's cool we were gonna take an uber just you know didn't you say the driver was texting it was funny i was watching i guess he i figured he probably texted to say we're leaving or something yeah uh but it was funny as you guys walk up and everybody's got sparklers and uh as you're
Starting point is 01:24:06 walking down the thing it's this big like congrats and all this stuff and you just see him it's like a comic texting right before they go up yeah well you're like hey are you not in this man like you feel like the driver should be in it like be a little more in the car text no no as you walk down the thing so you're about to be there but it's it's uh you know you figure he would just be in it smiling and like i mean like and then open the door and be like congrats did you say congratulations he did okay you say congratulate you know it's like or somebody you just see him he was like texting i mean you're almost two of them and he's just like what's he's playing words with friends. Text, phone, opens the door, losers.
Starting point is 01:24:48 Right as he shut it, I heard him go, never will last. And then he shut the door and he got in, said congratulations. Yeah, it's a real honor to drive this car. Yeah. He was being sarcastic. You know what is funny? I didn't see what was hanging off the car, but I guess it said just married or something.
Starting point is 01:25:08 So we pull out of the wedding venue we drive like a block away then we have to stop he has to go take all that stuff off oh yeah because he's like can't drive this it's not street legal so it's just like all right bye we drive 10 yards that way stop yeah i see people driving on highways with that stuff on oh yeah i bet that guy's like i ain't driving this. Yeah. If it's an honor to drive this car. Yeah, he's up taking all this crap off the car. You're lucky he didn't ask y'all to get out.
Starting point is 01:25:33 He's going to take all the married stuff off, and then he takes that off and opens the door, and he goes, that means y'all too. And then y'all got to hop out. You got to walk back. And hey, you think we get a lift? We get right over to the hotel or anything? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:47 That's a pretty good car. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, the whole thing was cool. Yeah, it went by super fast the whole day. Yeah. But it was fun, man. Yeah. Glad y'all were able to come.
Starting point is 01:25:59 Yeah, we made it. I made it. Yeah, you did. Thank you, man. How were your shows? Omaha was great. Yeah, those shows were all good justin smith uh opened for me uh i golfed with larry the cable guy played two days with him he's the best dude she's a good dude uh good golfer yeah he played his best round he's
Starting point is 01:26:20 ever played shot 78 wow uh yeah Putting was putting out of his mind. Long, long putts. Also, speaking of golf, we had our Nate Land podcast. This is John Augustine. Finished top 25 in a PGA event this weekend. Oh, I didn't see that. Yeah. Crazy, dude.
Starting point is 01:26:38 His first one. First cut he made in the PGA. Finished in top 25. Did you talk to him? Was he pretty stoked? Yeah, yeah. I was very excited. Like, it's fun.
Starting point is 01:26:44 I mean, I always say, like, it's fun to while you're watching this kid he does not have his card he's not you know he's got to earn his way on to the tour yeah and uh and i mean and for him to be he was tied ninth at one point and uh just played played terrific and uh so it's fun to get a like you know just getting to all weekend like keep an eye out on him yeah i loved it that's awesome yeah uh yeah so what is it about he's a little guy so what is it about golfer like in sports usually if you're tall you have an advantage in basketball or big in football what is it about guys that just some of them have that extra greatness it's just like a very uh god i can't i'm trying to think of the reference of a question like uh feels like a very broad question that's like why is golf why do people
Starting point is 01:27:33 like to golf like i don't know he's he's not tall no he's he's a little guy but you can drive it super far you can make a club be any length but yeah he can drive it yeah they can smash it like uh he hits it like three i think he was was up there and like driving right distance was like all like average like 315 320 something like that uh and they just know how to hit it they just hit the middle of the face like they just know the core strength all that middle of the face is is everything like and they hit the middle of the face so obviously the and then some but obviously the guys that are very long and lanky they get a ton more speed that's why like bub watson all those guys are end up being longer john daly had that like he just had like very long smooth i mean john daly's so good that it's it's unreal
Starting point is 01:28:20 how good it's so crazy how good this guy is and just to be a mess. He's just a mess of a dude. But he is – I mean, I saw him hit not too long ago. And, like, he's just – right now his hands are just – he just is so good. When he won the PGA Championship, his first major, they supposedly – I don't know if this is true or not. But I played at the course, Cro stick that they uh where they won that and he was a ninth alternative so he was it took nine people to fall out of the pga champs much like your wedding a lot of people couldn't
Starting point is 01:28:57 get in until a lot of people fell out but there nine people fell out and he was the last one to get in and won it really wow and no one even knew who this dude was yeah and then it's and it's and it's him coming out and supposedly uh on the like one day this girl runs out and gives him like a big hug and kiss on the uh fairway and everybody or something and everybody thought it was his wife and it wasn't it was a I believe a call girl like
Starting point is 01:29:28 that's what that's the that's the crowd he was bringing I was trying to say what's the nicest way to be able to say to her
Starting point is 01:29:36 but he was like you know and I mean then he just boomed on the scene and his son actually played that same tournament
Starting point is 01:29:43 and not in a major but because he's an amateur and was the ninth alternative and finished second at the same course but that's pretty crazy to barely get in yeah and then to win the whole thing they win the whole thing uh yeah so yeah i don't know is that was that uh one one i want to mention these hats oh yes danny pritchard one of our folks sent these to us he's retired air force yeah nice big fan very nice yeah thank you could you compete in there be in the air force my grandfather's in the air force oh yes air force does a lot of crazy they always i think their big joke is that the chair force yeah like that's the uh but i remember going
Starting point is 01:30:21 doing all the uso stuff and uh you would talk to air force and air force always had like their jobs were pretty wild like it was it was like yeah they're not just it wasn't you know they're everybody obviously does different stuff military like army and like they're like in it and air force is like they're just like they do some pretty crazy stuff and like what they keep an eye out on is even pretty crazy yeah and now they're dealing with aliens yeah are they involved with aliens i mean why would you why would you not you think they tell them no they're in air yeah space force might be first line yeah air force and they go we'd like to be a part of it and they say no and you go well air is our in our title yeah and they're flying in our air well space force will be the first line of defense
Starting point is 01:31:05 and then if it gets pretty new yeah still yeah they're still getting off the ground air force yeah they don't have merch yet yeah they don't yeah space force doesn't have merch exactly air force is like no let's i bet a lot of air force went to space force yeah it'd be fun to join space force you just keep going up yeah yeah space force is you start in the navy oh yeah there you go yeah in a submarine you start at the bottom work your way up you're in a submarine get on one of those ships where you we you're way above the water yeah yeah army fighting the ground then you go navy and you're like back in a boat you're like well it's not going good and then you go air force space're like back in a boat. You're like, well, it's not going good. And then you go Air Force, Space Force.
Starting point is 01:31:46 Yesterday, of course, Memorial Day and World War II veterans, there's still like 300,000 left, but they're all in their mid to late 90s. Yeah. So they said within five years, they'll almost all be gone. Yeah. There's just like 400 a day passing away. So that's a pretty – that's a statistic that doesn't need to be set. Like they go, in five years they're going to be gone.
Starting point is 01:32:10 And they're like, I don't know, what if some of them lived to 100? Yeah, I mean, not everyone, but almost all will be gone. In 20 years. I think it would be better for them to go, in 20 years they'll all be gone. Because obviously it won't be 20. But at least say 20 do. You're just like, we're putting most of them down every day. I mean, five years.
Starting point is 01:32:33 Here you go. 400 die a day. You're like, what are we even doing? Just say 300,000 are alive. Yeah. We don't have to go. This is like baby statistics. That's why I threw it out.
Starting point is 01:32:45 Yeah. You just like to talk about people dying. Yeah, it just made me think when I saw that. You know, eventually one day none of us will be here. You know, everybody, 100% of this podcast room will be dead. We'll die at some point. You ever think about that? Five years.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Five years we'll all be dead. Everybody's going to be dead. We talked about the future episode. They're going to fix that. Yeah. You're going to live forever? Mm-hmm. Do you think you would be?
Starting point is 01:33:13 No, I'm past that curve. How old are you? Am I past it? No, we're the same age. Yeah. No, but if they're... Like you're saying, you have to be a certain age for them to even try it. They're not going to do this to an 80-year-old.
Starting point is 01:33:25 Yeah, I don't know. But I saw on 60 Minutes the other night that if you're born right now, half the people born right now will live to their 103rd or 104th birthday. I mean, this is all just made up. I don't know. When that doesn't happen, who's going to call that guy out? Nobody. He'll have been logged on.
Starting point is 01:33:45 I'll be there. I don't know all the details, but 100, 100, some people will be living. All right. All right. We're good, right? Yeah. Can I pitch a show? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:58 Zany's Comedy Club. We'll be headlining Zany's. Nice. June 13th. It's a Sunday, 4 o'clock afternoon show. Come to Nashville for the weekend. Come to the show. You can be on the road by 6. Still be home.
Starting point is 01:34:11 You should say then go to Broadway afterwards and party. I just think if people have to be at work Monday morning. I think you're pitching to the audience that's going to come. You're going to be in bed by 6 o'clock. Siggier. Come to my show. You won't miss 60 Minutes. That's actually a better pitch.
Starting point is 01:34:29 Yeah. All right. Let me change that. We'll all be home. Come to my show. We'll watch 60 Minutes live. See the, come to my show. Then you watch the nightly news.
Starting point is 01:34:39 And they're like, oh, the 10 o'clock. No, no, no, no, no. The 6 o'clock news. You'll be there early. You'll probably catch a little bit of 5.30. A watch party. You're going to see the end of the weather rolling right into the 6 o'clock regular news into 60 minutes and be asleep by 9.
Starting point is 01:34:57 Wait a minute. Please come. Yeah. Yeah. June 25th through the 27th, I'm in Chicago at Zaney's Old Town. I'm headlining all weekend. Yeah. So come by.
Starting point is 01:35:08 First place, Nate, went up. Yeah. That's pretty interesting. Come on. That's a great club. Yeah, yeah. It's a big club. They did, yeah, it was the first place I ever went up.
Starting point is 01:35:17 They had a piano on stage. Not ever went up, but it was the first club I ever worked. I hosted. Yeah. They still got the piano up there. Do they? Last time I was there, they didn up there do they last time i was there they did it oh last time i was there there's a piano oh wow maybe they've maybe they're taking
Starting point is 01:35:31 it down back and forth yeah i saw a fight breakout in there too kyle canane that's a zany chicago is a great it's an old club it's been around for a long time and uh they uh they're uh, they're, uh, Kyle Kinney was on stage and I was in the very back. It's a very, it's a long room, narrow, narrow. And, and I was in the back so I could hear them.
Starting point is 01:35:53 And these, someone tells someone to be quiet, blah, blah, blah. And they just really get into it. And it's basically a fight breaking out. And it's so far back in the room and they're in the front.
Starting point is 01:36:02 So like Kyle could, he could tell something's going on, but not, you can't completely, because it's just so far back in the room, and they're in the front. So, like, Kyle could – he could tell something's going on, but not – you can't completely because it's just too far back. But I'm sitting back there, and so I'm just, like, in it. And then these two dudes – one was, like, an undercover cop, and so he's a police officer, and they're just both drunk, you know, just – Of course. And then I get,
Starting point is 01:36:30 somehow I'm in the back of the kitchen and they're by the door in front of me just arguing with each other. And I'm just like in it. It looks like I'm a part of it. And I'm just sitting there like, you know, and the cops came that were on duty and like. Cops got called? Yeah, that's the hard part. If you're a cop, if you get into an argument with a cop that's off duty,
Starting point is 01:36:47 and then he gets to be like, well, I'm a cop, and then you're like, well, what am I going to do? Yeah, you weren't on duty when the fight started, dude. I know, but then you can't do anything. And then he gets to pull that card and be like, well, I'm a cop. And you're like, yeah, they're going to come. Of all the people. Of all the people.
Starting point is 01:37:01 You got to start fighting someone else. Yeah, I'll be in Naples June 11, 13, and then Raincheck Tour. All on sale now. And we'll be adding cities. People keep always still saying, you coming here? Yeah, we're coming everywhere. So we'll be there. All right, this was an off-the-cuff episode, so it wasn't bad.
Starting point is 01:37:24 I felt pretty good about it, man. Some great moments. I do think it shows why we do topics. We will see you guys next week. Have a good weekend. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts
Starting point is 01:37:53 and please remember to leave us a rating or a comment Nate Land is produced by me Nate Bargetti and my wife Laura on the All Things Comedy Network Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.

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