The Nateland Podcast - #60 The Money Episode Part 2

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

This episode, we delve deeper (not really) into a previous discussed topic - money. We look at the new wealthiest person in the world, guess how many celebrities are billionaires, and discuss how much money we made in our first paid comedy gig.   Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]   Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to UPSTART.com/nate.   Solostove - solostove.com   ·      I want everyone to have a Solo Stove, so here’s the best deal in town. ·      Go to SOLOSTOVE.COM and enter promo code NATE for $10 off.  ·      That’s promo code NATE at SOLOSTOVE.COM for $10 off your order.

Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi with Brian Baines, Aaron Webber. So welcome everybody, welcome. Hello folks. Let's go's Go. I see Let's Go in the wild. I'll see people come up and see Let's Go, folks. I think it jumped the shark. Let's Go? Yeah. I'm all for people saying it's Let's Go, folks, but people are saying it's every Let's Go that there ever is. And there is. Yeah.

Well, we're going to put a stop to it. USA Baseball, I mentioned this last week, USA Baseball, their official Twitter, did a hashtag, let's go folks. Yeah. No, let's go folks? Let's go folks. That's got to be somebody that watches, right? Yeah, because we're the folks part.

No one says let's go folks. This was a couple weeks ago during the Olympics, and somebody hit a two-run homer, and they put hashtag let's go, folks. You got to trademark this, Nate. Could be. Also could be pretty arrogant on our side of thinking that let's go, the most popular thing in the world, followed by folks, another quite common phrase. but maybe it's us

who knows uh let's start it off with some of you guys comments my voices sounds rough we did a bunch of shows this weekend so uh aaron olson this episode is the perfect sum of how great this podcast is first of all let's hear hear how Nate watches people putt. Then Boris went into a minor league baseball game. Neat. And in closing, are you ready for this? Aaron rode a subway. That was only in the first 31 minutes.

What a ride. Oh, and then they talked about the ocean. I'm hoping next week Nate talks about the perfect fit for a golf glove. Brand brings up a trip to a local hardware store, and Aaron rides a tandem bicycle for the first time, and the main topic will be air. That sounds like a great episode. I think we would do.

I've heard a bit of that. I think we would do that episode. I'm always in between on golf gloves. I go between a medium and a cadet medium. What's a cadet medium? I don't know, but some of them I like. It just says cadet medium. Never known.

A little different shape, a little different size. I usually get cadet medium. You want them tight, but not too tight. Loose is not good. It's whatever you feel. It's like when you go like shoes or anything. I can never tell if someone's like, when you try something on and it's like, does this fit good?

And you're like, I don't know, man. Like you can't decide if you're kind of in between. I'm a very in between. In between sizes? In between sizes. I'm all about in between sizes. That's why I'm the greatest average American. In-between.

Yeah. I think most Americans are. I remember the first time I got a wide shoe. That was pretty eye-opening. Yeah. Because I'd been getting, I'd had to get a size up, and I thought that's how shoes were supposed to fit. Yeah.

And then once I got one that was wide, I was like, oh, my gosh. Is it like because of the inflammation? Yeah. Do you go back and forth between them? He only has one wide one. When I have a gown flare up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just my left foot's wide.

Especially me. To tell Lucy, no, honey, it's not a good time this month, so I need to bring that clown shoe out if you don't mind. My gams are barking. You walk in. It's obvious you have two shoes on. What is that? Well, this size is a 12.

The other is a nine. Nine. Double wide. Double wide. It's like a square. It just comes out. It sticks out. Yours only goes in.

Isn't that like a woman's shoe that goes down? Yeah. Yours goes and then... Jesse Rothacker. in like a isn't that like a woman's shoe that goes down yeah yours goes and then jesse rothacker roth hacker roth hacker could be roth hacker could be could be jesse roth hacker i hope they went with thacker rothacker this has got to be your most add episode so far i'm curious if any of y'all were ever diagnosed with add this question is specifically for aaron and nate because i don't think add was invented yet when brontosaurus was a kid pray didn't have you didn't catch it you couldn't

have even caught it back then we never even talked about it back then y'all don't have enough stuff to look at uh you literally couldn't be distracted back then. Yeah. There was nothing. I mean, what are you going to do? You know? Just like three things. Maybe you can have a few squirrels.

Ooh, a candle. Oh, God. What is this? Eight squirrels outside? You got kind of nuts out there. It almost was overwhelming. If y'all just had a bird fight in the backyard, it was like, go ahead. Oh.

You almost like, you know, when you watch a movie and they tell you it can, if you have like. Oh, epilepsy or seizures. Seizures. That's what they do. They're in squirrel mating season. Just so people don't think I'm making fun of ADD, I should mention that I was diagnosed with it. And I believe that's one of the main reasons I was voted class clown in high school and i'm thankful my brain works that way i don't know my wife has add i mean does everybody have it now i don't have it i don't think i don't

think i have it i'll get stuff done like if if I, if there's something, I don't, when something needs to get done, I look at it as like, just get it done and it's over. You zero in. Now talking, we can,

I can get, so maybe like you can be kind of like going off and, you know. Tangents. Yeah, on tangents and stuff. But I mean, that's figure like that's the creative part.

I don't think I don't, I get stuff done. My wife starts stuff and then just wanders off. When I started in the news business, they said every video had to be at least four seconds before you cut to another shot, like when you're editing. And now, because of people's lack of attention span, it's got to be so much faster. Because four seconds seems like an eternity.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, you think the cuts are much quicker? Cuts are much quicker, yeah. But you're telling me that could be the thing that causes the... It's kind of self-perpetuating, yeah. Yeah.

Wow. It's at the bottom of that. Alec Kinty. alec kentai kentai i make him sound like he's how would you say it i'd say kentai as well it's just funny the way you hit it sometimes kentai it's all one word mm-hmm yeah yeah uh i bet i pronounce it like it's not. Oh, Alec Kintai. Oh, is Ken your middle name? Kintai. No, I just slowed down and took a break and got to.

And his last name, I started it. Got a drink of water when I did some things. Some ADD, kick an injector, mail came back in. Ty. Aaron presenting the scenario about being stranded on an island and Nate replying, speed two was on last night. Has to be one of the quickest left turns a conversation has ever taken. Love it.

I don't know. Maybe I do have ADD. I mean, like, it's, but is it ADD when something else just reminds you of that? Speed two was on. I don't think so. Oh. Well, that's just how I think. Speed two was on. I watched it. They're that's just how i think speed two was on i watched it they're

on the boat where's the boat going yeah couldn't stop it well that's relevant to an island that is it's almost like you're moving faster than than this guy is yeah yeah i thought that was one of the stronger moments of the episode yeah I was glad you brought it up. Yeah. It was like, oh, well, now we're cooking. Now we're getting somewhere. Jennifer Weiss, the funniest part of this whole thing to me is when Aaron asked, what's my role?

How can I help out the three of us? And Nate and Brian just stared blankly for at least one second of awkward silence. Poor Aaron, the most underrated member of this podcast. Hey, I think he's happy to hear that. Yeah. Why? Because he thinks that every day.

He thinks that he's the most underrated? I think most people would think you're the most underrated. Wouldn't you? Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't think people would think you are. All right. I'll take that.

But, yeah, Now they're saying I'm finally getting my accolades Now you deserve to get some accolades Yeah Yeah Okay We got a lot of A lot of breakfast fans

Yeah The breakfast people are coming out And Aaron's slipping I'll try to step it up man Yeah And that yeah Sometimes you try to I like to throw out a

hypothetical get the ball rolling and that time it didn't work that well we went right from that into speed too so well you got an arby's hat and adidas shirt on so it's going real good so far uh shan basheer you're the only person who's ever wore those two things together ever yeah i don't think they're conflicting brands, dude. I think they work together. I don't think none of it. I mean, it just seems it's Adidas athletic. It's, you know.

Do you order that? It looks like you have the, you know, like you were. It's like I'm an athletic guy. And then you're like, I used to be an athletic guy, but here's the reason I stopped. That's what it looks like I'm an athletic guy and then you're like I used to be an athletic guy but here's the reason I stopped that's what it looks like so you still have some shirts from your athletic days

but then the RV slowed you down and I'll be honest it looks like you could work there with the headphones and this like if you went up

and this is official sanction I think you're the manager that got called in and you're off the golf course. Yeah, at least I'm the manager. Did you ever work fast food? No, I never did. Never did.

I worked in a kitchen. You figured you were there enough anyways. He kind of did. I'm there enough. I got a new joke about eating fast food. You don't want to work where you do something you love. You don't want to see it. It takes the joy away from it. Yeah. You wouldn't want to work where you do something you love. You don't want to see it. It takes the joy away from it.

Yeah. You wouldn't want to work on a golf course, right? I don't know. I could see being – Dude, I look at being one of those retired cart guys. I mean, I think I could do it. And I look forward to maybe doing it. I would hope I would get the –

whatever I want out of the drive of comedy if eventually I feel, all right, I can take a step back and just go get a job at – go work at just checking people's carts, how to go out there today as I clean their clubs. You slip me a $5 bill. Go buy yourself something nice. Go buy yourself something nice and you're like thanks man just scrubbing it how was it that would be fun they're like did you they look at me we on netflix yeah how things going bad now actually now i'm doing what I love. I'll be honest with you. Never been better. I had a great career.

And all I've ever wanted was to do this. I want to sit there at the start and go, time you boys tee off. I want to pull up in your car and go, guys, we got to speed it up a little bit. Smooth it along. Smooth it along. Just being out and around a golf course. Yeah. Or I would be, I'd like to be those people that, I want to do that on the PGA. I try to sign up to help once at Augusta.

And that was, I mean, maybe a couple years ago. Doing like the guy that holds the sign up. I want to be the, I want to hold the sign up. I want to wave where the ball's at down the fairway. Or it's right. Or I want to be like sitting halfway down where I go find the ball and I get to put the thing and go, you're over here. That does sound fun.

I would love it. I remember as soon as I was old enough, I got to volunteer to hold the – Scorecard? No. Football games, I'm blanking on what they're called, but the first down markers. Yeah. When you're old enough to be responsible enough to hold those, that feels kind of nice.

Yeah. I get it. Is there pressure, though, that you're like, what the hell is this? No, that feels kind of nice. Yeah. I get it. Is there pressure, though, that you're like, what the hell is this? No, it's like a Little League game. Nobody cares. He's got a five on this thing. It's a fifth down on my back. You're like, I don't know.

You have to go. This was used for baseball. We moved it out here. I saw where Phillip Rivers says he's not going to rule out coming back, and I'm like, did your dad upset him? Or is there trouble? Or what's going on there? I talked to him about that.

It was a misleading headline, that article. He was asked, let's say, emergency scenario. Your season's over, and you get called up. He's like, yeah, I'd keep my options open. I'm not going to. Yeah, yeah. The article made it sound like he's abandoning the high school and he's going back.

I thought him and your dad had words or something. You thought they fought it out in the office? Yeah. I hope not. He didn't seem worried about it. He said, Philip, do you wear a college shirt when you walked into this school? Philip goes, I don't have to. He goes, yeah, I was just going to say about that.

And then he leaked it. So he's going to go play arena football. Philip was like, don't say that, man. I like that he says, yeah, you can't rule anything. You're like, I don't know, man. What if there's teams running for the Super Bowl and someone gets hurt? And you're like, yeah, dude, let me go step in. Go get a ring.

Yeah. Head back. Yep. Go coach. Y'all's football team crumbles. He's gone. Cheyenne Beshe gone. Cheyenne Bashir. Cheyenne.

Greetings from Pakistan. Hey. Look at that. Wow. Global. Hey, Nate and Aaron and breadcrumbs. Love how clean you keep the podcast and your ability to try and be funny about anything without ever being right about it.

You guys put a smile on my face every week, so an abundance of appreciation and gratitude for y'all. Keep up the great work. Thank you. Thank you, Cheyenne. Pakistan. That's pretty cool. I would love to go.

Would you? Yeah. To Pakistan? Yeah. Yeah. Do some stand-up over there? A lot of stuff's going over. Flying to Kabul and then traveling over? Yeah. Yeah. Do some stand-up over there? A lot of stuff's going over. Huh? Flying to Kabul and then traveling over?

Yeah. Head in. See what's happening. It's not good right now. Yeah. May not go right this second. Yeah, it would be waited out a little bit. Maybe Cheyenne would say, I wouldn't come right now.

I'd love to come to Cheyenne. Cheyenne, Wyoming. I think Cheyenne and her family would wait for me. They'd let me. Can I stay with them? Yeah. Yeah. And I think they'd just tell me, let's not come.

I wouldn't come now. Yeah. Ian Rice. I almost said Ian, but Ian. As a guy who swam competitively in college, I can assure you that freestyle does mean you can do whatever you want. The crawl stroke is a stroke everyone uses because it's the fastest stroke. Someone could swim butterfly backstroke or breaststroke if they wanted to do so.

And backstroke is the same way. You can do whatever you want as long as you're on your back the whole time. That'd be, I mean, backstroke, I don't know if you were just like going sideways on your back. I mean, your race is over, and you're not even to the, you're like, all right, well, that didn't work. They should make Kate Ledecky do that. She has to do a backstroke while everybody else does the freestyle. Yeah. Just to flex, just to do something more difficult.

I've never heard of it called the crawl stroke. I had never heard that either uh makes sense it looks a little bit like a crawl crawling across the water uh-huh i didn't so you can do whatever you want yeah so you were right have at it i was right yeah some people there's still a debate going on this is the latest naitland controversy i think the freestyle. What is the freestyle? What are you allowed to do? Somebody else said they swam competitively, and they said it was so specific. This might have been the comment you read last time.

But people are still arguing. I believe Ian Rice, though. Sounds like a good name, trustworthy name. He swam competitively in college. Does that mean he made the college team? Yeah, it could just be. We don't even know. I mean, Ian could be. He's got to be like, you know he races for tourney brother yeah i just go to the pool and swim

i was real competitive about it yeah did the other people know you were competitive he's like i never mentioned it but i beat them all i was undefeated he just doesn't tell him he's just lapping them and they're like oh i didn't know we were racing dude i thought you were this is like open swim and he goes well saw me bringing the heat i thought you're gonna bring it to past you he's swimming on your right comes down just like a neighbor right yeah crawl stroke come through above and got a question for you was the pool a circle it's above ground. Were you doing freestyle and just trying to get it

where it's all going in one motion like an above ground pull? How fast you can do it? We called it the crawl stroke. I mean, this whole thing could be falling apart with Ian. I mean, he goes, I've never heard any of this stuff.

I still, Ian, I'm with you. I still want to, Ian is my swimming guy I'll go to michael miller i love how the comment section is turning into fact checking the commenters from the previous episodes who are fact checking the episode before that exactly what just happened i love it Trying to hold each other accountable. We need more of that. We do. Dylan Schaefer. This podcast has really changed my life. Before I listened to this, I thought I would go nowhere in life

and that I just wasn't smart enough to do anything. But listening to a Notre Dame graduate say a kilometer is about a mile really gives me hope that I can make it. I love listening to Nate Aaron Aaron, and back posture. Ruin my faith in humanity. Back posture. Do you have good posture? Are you happy with your posture?

No, I feel like you're trying to tell me something. No, I'm not happy with mine. I'm wondering how you feel about yours. You probably have the best out of the three of us. I don't think about it as much as you guys do, but just, you know. Well, last week I did that show at the church, and they put it up on the video screens, and I could see myself up there. I'm like, oh, my gosh.

Hunched over? Yeah, so hunched over. That's always tough when you are talking, and you've got two screens next to you, and you can turn and you see. Those drive-in shows, I couldn't look because I'd look over, and I'd be like, oh, my gosh. It's weird to see yourself on the screen. Yeah, it's cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Did we talk about that last week? It's like seeing yourself on local news. Did I say that? I was saying like we went to the golf thing and me and Haley Joel Osment were sitting there and like we thought we were going to be on TV on one time. Like you could see us. And I was like, it doesn't matter how much,

if you get on TV, I've been on TV, and there's still nothing better than like you get on like a golf thing or like local news. Yeah, yeah. I wonder like, it's like, even does Brad Pitt, are you like. That's me. Yeah, would you still want to be like, hey, watch Channel 5? I was on, look at this.

Because it's still, that's like still the coolest thing. Uh-huh. Yeah, we just didn't want to be like, hey, watch Channel 5. I was on. Look at this. Because that's still the coolest thing. Uh-huh. Yeah. Because you're like, you see us back there? We were all in the back. I think they would love it. And we were hoping so. I'm not watched.

I recorded the golf and went back and watched to see if I could see me and just be like, could I be somewhere? Yeah. Because it's kind of fun. Yeah. It's like Jumbotron at a game. It's all, yeah, it's all fun. Yeah yeah you don't get used to that uh-huh maybe you do uh but kilometer about a mile i mean what i meant was you don't do them that's their mile

that's their mile you know yeah it's that's who's they the rest of the world yeah that's their mile instead of using miles they use which one's longer kilometers 20 kilometers is like 12 and a half miles okay i think a mile would be longer a mile would be longer a 5k is 3.1 miles so miles longer. Yeah. So that's why they can't run as much as we can. One mile is 1.6. They get everywhere a little quicker than we do. Okay.

Because it's five kilometers, and they go three miles away. And then they go, i'll be there in five minutes and then they're there in three yeah you're like that's why we have a weight problem in this country we can't wait on anybody because they're not they're not getting their times right you have a waiting problem yeah yeah neil curran the most Nateland moment of this episode is when Nate calls the Southern Ocean a dumb name. Just minutes before he and Aaron had confused this region of the earth with the North Pole. In fact, their mistake leads to a whole bit on how it's the attic of the earth. After babysitting Bates corrects them on where the Southern Ocean is actually located,

After babysitting Bates corrects them on where the Southern Ocean is actually located, we suddenly jump into Aaron Land Podcast, where Aaron pretentiously questions up and down really means. This had me laughing so hard I was making a scene on a Brooklyn subway. Hey. Wow. Maybe this is his first time. Can't get enough of this show.

Did you see Neil on your subway ride? ride no i didn't talk to anybody on there but you can't look what's up and what's down that's a great i always like making that point i think it's interesting but if you're in space there's no up or down you can look at it however you want wherever your head's at so if you're upside down well you would feel it because then you're like but you wouldn't no you wouldn't feel that you're upside down because you're in space there's no gravity you don't feel like you just get lightheaded no because so the gravity so everything your blood just stays where it stays yeah so it doesn't move yeah you could flip upside down you wouldn't realize it at all because the blood's not rushing anywhere because

there's no gravity so that's like when they pour water it just floats but it does go up it doesn't stay straight it would yeah no but you see it there's always like different levels it goes wherever wherever it's pushed to it's just the force you could push it up you could but i'm saying we look at we always look at the earth northern hemisphere southern hemisphere you could easily just look at it upside down and it wouldn't be wrong so we'll give you in space would you come back down and then you're like you feel weird you're like i've been upside down for a year and you're like that's the guy we sent up there and he comes down.

He's like, I've got this monster headache. And you go, that's what that guy that – what's the guy that's the astronaut that lives up there for a year and he's like running for governor? That's what I would do to get him. Is he running for – he's running for something. Scott Kelly? Yeah.

If you're running against against them just like drop that bombshell hey fun note scott kelly's upside down for a year doesn't get it that can't be good for the brain he was hanging upside down upside down thought he was right side up you think he knows how to run this country that's what i would just throw out stuff like that hey scott did you know you were looking at the moon most of the time? Idiot. Did you say that? Blackhead. And he goes, no, I knew what the earth looked like.

Did you? Is there proof of that? You were upside down most of it. And then everybody goes, that is true. That's a good point. Go to his house. And he has one of those things where you hang out upside down, like on those inversion tables. And you go, go to his house. Let has one of those things we hang out upside down like in this inversion table and you go to his house put him let's put him in it see if we see what he thinks is right uh but like in the what about an underwater you can tell you think you can tell if you're

upside down but there's there's great there's say if you're underwater yeah you blow bubbles out where it's everywhere the bubbles go, that's up. Yeah. There's still gravity if you're in the water on Earth. I'm saying if you're outside the Earth, there's none. Yeah, well, they train in the water. They do, because that's the closest they can get to it. Yeah. To simulate it, yeah.

Yeah. J.S., as someone who was fascinated with prehistoric creatures the meg was 100% a real animal google image search to see how big his jaws and teeth were it puts the biggest greatest white shark to shame they think it preyed on prehistoric wells occasionally people still find the teeth washed up on shore. Wow. So, yeah, the Megalodon. Yeah. I mean, the Great Wild is barely big as a till.

Kind of looks like that movie poster. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty big. I'm glad they're gone. I wonder why he was fascinated with prehistoric creatures. J.S. It's almost like we sucked the love out of it for him. He used to be real into this. You guys ruined it for him.

I wonder if he got married and he's like, she made me throw all my figurines out. You used to love that stuff. We had to get someone to move the mega-adamegalodon. Life-size megalodon. We had to get it down

and take the roof off to haul it out so just let it be up there it doesn't matter we're not going up there Dogs Dead 25 I've met the guy I've met that guy

who was out at sea and sued for eating his buddy he told us all about it he was hoping for a movie loved the podcast it's pretty brief. Well, Dog's Dad 25, he sent that to the Batesville podcast. Oh, yeah.

Thinking it was you? I don't know what he was thinking, or she was thinking. Well, it's dad. Okay. He was thinking. But Batesville podcast was nice enough to forward it on. Batesville's killing it. Yeah.

We're taking over. Aaronland's getting pushed down. I know. I think Baitland maybe didn't make it. Oh, Baitland. I haven't seen it on. Batesville's killing it. We're taking over. Aaronland's getting pushed down. I think Baitland maybe didn't make it. Oh, Baitland. I haven't seen it lately. Brian's nose. It might have been over separate. Brian's nose comments a lot of things. More ways than one. Brian's nose has figured out

its market. It's a commenter. He just pops in. Hey guys, hope everyone's having a great week. Nails something in a comment. Boom. Bouts out. That's what he's there for. He gets it.

I was going to say, this seems like a very brief, like, oh, yeah, I met that guy. He wanted to make a movie about it. And then you're. He was unimpressed. Yeah, I would think there'd be a little bit more to it. Yeah. Like, how did you meet that guy, you know, and sued for eating his buddy? How'd you meet him?

Yeah. I guess that guy's talking about it at a bar. I guess we'll find out when we watch the movie. Yeah. Well, he was hoping for a movie, but then they were like, no. No, because that's all they would tell him. Yeah, yeah. I mean, what would the movie be?

Just a court drama? Did you eat him? You can't handle the truth. Cuts over, he's like chewing on his lawyer's hand. You're on. You're on. You can't. Two seconds.

But he said he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do the movie? He said he wouldn't eat his buddy, so that would, you know. You made the point last week. That's got to hold up in court. Yeah. I didn't say I would do it. I know, but then he eats his hand, the lawyer's hand.

And they go, well, that seems crazy because it doesn't mean anything. David Ferguson, I found a message and bought it on the beach in Pensacola, Florida. It was dated six months earlier and left a phone number that happened to be to a town only 30 miles away from where I live in Kentucky. I called the phone number with some excitement, and the mother who answered said it was thrown in at a pier about one mile away from where I found it, and then said nothing else. She did not seem to find any of the coincidence interesting.

I suddenly felt like a creeper, so I said thank you and hung up. That would be disappointing. Did he think he threw it into the ocean from Kentucky? No. No, but it's just if you've – I mean, I was on the ocean this weekend. I've been in the ocean. I've never found a message in a bottle. So I would think if you called it, the person would at least be like, you know.

And if that person lives 30 miles from here, they live in Murfreesboro. Yeah, you're like, oh, we can meet. You'd be like, here's the crazy thing. I live 30 miles from you. And you'd be like, do you want to meet? Is that the point of this? You did this for something. Yeah.

But maybe she just is like, I'm over it. I give calls like this every day. I should have thrown it farther out. I took it as maybe her son did it since he said mother. Oh, right. And she's like, he's been doing this a lot. I guess. He's got to stop doing this.

Everywhere we go, this guy throws bottles. It's like the fifth call she got that day. She's like, oh, God. I just found a bottle in my pool. Ian finds it when he's swimming. Ian finds it. Yeah, to go. That's it, right?

That's it. Sure. All right, everybody. That's it, right? That's it. Sure. All right, everybody. We are, thanks, Eric. So I just got back.

I was like, you guys, we got a little delayed flight. Changed my flight last night. Where from? Corpus Christi. Yeah. We met. We're going to post some great shows at Corpus christi yeah uh we met uh we're gonna post to have some great shows at corpus christi got got a little new joke out of it thought about corpus just in the act that's always an exciting

weekend uh but there was a there's a great club mesquite comedy club and uh there's two mesquite like pizza places there but then they just the new one it's great it's a big room it's a cool setup we stayed just a wonderful weekend

my tour manager Travis he found a like we stayed at the beach house Port Aranus I think it's like Arkansas but no K.

R-Ansus. Okay. I don't ever know how to say it. Aranius. I said that at one point. People seem pretty upset about that. They, no, I said it like, I remember my buddy Bart Miller came to the shows

in the band Mercy Me. But he said, I said, is it, I go, I think we're staying in Port. I go, is it Aranus or Aranus? And he just goes, yeah, that's it. And I was like, well, he just wants me to say it. He's like, yeah, I think that's great. Just keep saying that. But it was an awesome, awesome week.

And we had some people, which we were going to post a picture that I took. Some people made some hello folks shirts and had a bunch of stuff written on the back, like stuff that we've said on the podcast or I've said in my act. They all wore them. We had some other people wear some shirts too. So let's go folks shirt, which was nice.

It was, you know, a lot of people were listening to the podcast. A lot of people come out and they podcast. A lot of people come out. Sam, getting to meet them afterwards. My buddy, Michael Clay, that I started coming with, his friends Eric and Christina Lennon, they went to a wedding in Wisconsin, and they said they were big fans. So it's getting out there.

That's cool. The shows were great. We had an awesome my uncle uh came and stayed with us and my uh my cousin his son kade just graduated from texas a&m he hung out with us all weekend i mean dude corpus christi is uh pretty cool man you can drive on the beach there so like you drive cars or like we rented a golf cart yeah and you can just drive the golf cart on the beach you can drive up to like there's parts of it on the sand right oh you can i mean there's parts dude you drive you drive your golf cart up to the beach and are your car and then you unload everything

and that makes the beach a lot it's usually the hassle of getting to the exactly beach is that where you're like i do we got to walk all the way down there. We got to carry all this stuff. And there at Corpus Christi, you're just like, drive up, park your car, unload it, sit. The water felt like bath water. It was crazy. I'm not the biggest ocean guy in the world, but I was in Gulf of Mexico.

We learned that last week. Yeah. But it made it just super easy. It was just a fun, it was like a dude's trip. Dustin, my buddy Dustin Chafin, I started with. He was with us. So we played poker. I just started playing poker.

I don't think I'm bad at it. Yeah? Yeah. I kind of enjoyed it. You know, a lot of bluffing Not bluffing, who's bluffing And so that's why we were up late last night Texas Hold'em

Yeah And we were, yeah, that's my voices Just doing all the shows And that club is a great club And they run it, it's very nice And they're And just doing all the,

you know, I don't know, all the stuff that we did. And then also I want to shout out Bill Ingvall in that ring.

He announced he's about to retire from touring stand-up. Really? Yeah. I saw he made a video about it and he's got a,

he's got a, you can go look up Bill Ingvall's dates but he's doing a you can go look up billy involves dates but he's he's doing i want i don't know how many more dates some into the next 22 but this is like his final man kind of run he's gonna he's gonna keep doing he's like start doing some acting and he'll do other things but like as far as touring on stand-up you know he toured for he was like 42 years yeah so crazy man it's like you know and it's it's that's what's always fun when you get a get with these guys because i've been lucky to know these guys so ingvall was uh out of that

group out of that crew was one of the first ones i met and i went and opened for him and uh and he was just the he's again they're they're all as great as as are. As you want them to be, for sure. Yeah, and so getting to go out with him, and it was fun, and me and him have kind of become friends. And so it's congrats, Bill, 42 years. I mean, you can only hope to get a dude to tour that long. I mean, then Foxworthy, Cable Guy, same way. I mean, you see them all winding down that's when I talked to cable guys like I was getting a bus tour bus he just sold his tour bus where you're like

he it's fun to talk to those guys so they know where I'm at in my career and they're like oh man I know where you're you know you're you're doing this and you're ramping up Ron White too uh me and him I've kind of talked a little bit more, but he's still, but he's out doing dates. I think all of them are, but Ingvall. So congrats, Bill. That's cool. So, but it was fun. Yeah.

I had a good, good weekend, you know, that y'all do. Good shows. Yeah, I was in Dayton. I was at the Saturday night, the Body Dayton Church, and it was great. A lot of folks came out. Is the church called The Body? Mm-hmm. It's called The Body Dayton.

What body are they talking about? Well, I made a joke about how when they reach out, I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't do strip clubs. Yeah. But I think they're talking about the body of Christ. Oh, that makes sense. Makes sense. He's probably talked about it quite a bit. Yeah, probably so.

Ryan Voorhees, one of our folks, opened it great. Oh, yeah. Source of Gorb did a guest set. Yeah. Miriam Gregory sang. No, it was great. It was a lot of fun. I met a couple who said that their YouTube handle was Brian's mom.

Remember we read a comment from Brian's mom? That was them. That was them. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's fun. Remember we read a comment from Brian's Mom? That was them. That was them. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's fun. Unfortunately, not my mom. Yeah.

It was a bummer, but it was nice meeting them. Yeah. That's cool. That's cool, man. I headlined Charlotte Comedy Zone for the first time ever. Last week, a bunch of folks came out. Very cool. Then I did a run of shows with Henry Cho, opening for him.

People yelled yelled let's go as i took the stage at every show i did yeah every show there was somebody there let's go right when i walked you know what i don't mind it with uh i like that they do it because i had some let's go to and uh you know it's quick and easy it's a it's an ignore it's almost almost that could be the answer for this hello folks let's go like it's hello folks here when we're all in the in the preparation of this but then the let's go when we're around is just like it's a joke so it's we're all in on the joke and it's ridiculous yes so we get to say it and go let's go and it's funny to say it because we're like making fun of it.

But we're not going to say it every time. Yeah. So maybe that could be, it's a pretty good answer to it. Just a quick, let's go. Yeah. Yelled out, just funny. Right? Yeah.

We got a lot of messages, people sharing history of let's go and how long it's been around. What we're saying is, you're talking about how long it's just become everywhere where you say it i know the phrase let's go has been around forever but you're talking about how it's just people use it every day which has probably been like the last year or so yeah where it's just all the time all the time yeah it's it's it's the i think we're all in, we all see it. I was talking to another guy this week, and I was listening, and he was talking about Let's Go. And he's like, he goes, it's made it where I can't,

that's all I, now when I see it, that's all I think about. And I hear it so much. And I was like, yeah, that's it, dude. They're saying it's so crazy. But that's why it's like, it's fun to be figuring out like how we do it. Let's go, like, you know, sometimes it's saying, let's go, folks. Like when we meet, it's kind of fun because it's fun to be figuring out how we do it. Let's go. Sometimes it's saying, let's go, folks. When we meet, it's kind of fun because it's funny.

Yeah. And then hello, folks, that's our thing here. Yeah, for sure. So it could be leaning that way. Maybe we'll do the poll. This poll's going to come out of nowhere. It's been a while since we've had a poll. Let's throw another one out there.

You know what else I think I could do, the new Krispy Kreme challenge? Let's throw another one out there. You know what else I think I could do? The new Krispy Kreme challenge. I got a new one. What's that? That I think I could do. Ice cream. What's the most ice cream someone's ate? I ate so much ice cream this weekend.

I mean, I was like, we were at the beach and I go, you know what? I'm going to eat ice cream. I ate it every night. Last night, I bought a little cookies and cream, Blue Bell ice cream ate it every night last night i had uh i bought a little cookies and cream blue bell ice cream ate it it was probably a pint ate it alone and then finished off maybe the bottom half of a half a gallon of chocolate and then uh had a little trouble falling asleep yeah that'll do it the people who reach still reaching out to us saying you changed their life when you got off sugar, you can stop that now, folks.

Oh, yeah. We can squelch that. Did they? Fair to say you're back on it. Yeah. And I need to get up. But you know what? I need to get back off of it.

I have to get off of it. Yeah. I do. And I will come back and I'll let you guys know when I'm off of it. After the challenge. After the ice cream challenge. So the world record being ice cream. After you set a world record.

She scarfed down 16 pints of ice cream in six minutes. Oh, you can beat that. 16 pints is a lot. I would want to be like, what's the most most is there like a 20 you know it's like straight up like uh no time limit yeah how much can you eat in one sit how much can you yeah how much can you sit i could eat a gallon of it a gallon sure oh you think a gallon was easy for you yeah dude a gallon is not like we could we could all eat a gallon i think what happens if you need a gallon brian i don't think i could are you serious gallon of ice cream i'm just like vanilla ice cream you couldn't get that down i mean i hope i couldn't you do

chocolate that's the mistake you made last time man man. I mean, it's deja vu here, guys. Yeah. Have we learned nothing? I could eat five gallons not even thinking about it. Yeah. Episode one over here. Fine. I could eat, I can pound some ice cream, dude.

Looks like all the records that I can find are with a time limit. Most ice cream eaten in a minute, one pound. Like that's the, you know, I'm a long game guy. Yeah, you're a speed eater. Someone said 16 and a half gallons in six minutes. Yeah, that's the Miko. No, the pints. No, 16 pints.

Well, this is the same person. I think it was a different record. I think she's been at this for a while. 16 and a half pints and six pints so 16 pints in six minutes yeah yeah i would like i could try it to see how many i could get done i i think i would just run out of time yeah before i would like i they'd be tough to get to 16 right if you were told i don't think i would be full. I think I could, I think I would, I think I would eat,

I would finish the 16 pints of ice cream. And then I would, you know, it'd be like, all right, you did in 30 minutes. And I'm like, all right,

but I still ate 16. After six minutes, they'd say time. And you still be, they'd have to pull you off. Yeah. I mean, 12 pints have been in jerry's in about 30 minutes

yeah yeah this guy's impressive matt stoney he's a great follower on youtube he does a lot of he does a lot of stuff yeah yeah we talked about him during the crispy cream challenge from hot dog champion to an ice cream goo all right we'll look. We'll look at it because maybe that could be the next one because I think I can crush it. I eat a lot of ice cream, man. What do you get? How many bags of Sour Patch Kids? Is that a record?

We should do that one. Yeah. I could eat a ton. You got me on those. I've been eating those lately. Oh, man. We got some over there i was we gotta grab a few yeah someone pointed out that it's going down yeah oh it'll

go down yeah this is not a like a set this is being used in real time and yeah i mean it's it's gonna be wherever senators i mean i'm i do people send me so much candy like when i go on the road now i mean that's the hard part is like you have to be like alright I can't I have a bag of sourdough kids I brought home a ton of stuff

someone gave me sweet tart like ropes oh yeah I ate the whole bag and ice cream I mean it's crazy dude I gotta get

I have to get off this I'm on a bad sugar yeah someone told me to read there's a book or something you can read about sugar I mean, it's crazy, dude. I got to get, I have to get off this. I'm on a bad sugar. Yeah. Someone told me to read, there's a book or something you can read about sugar. And I don't know. It's sugar in it. The paper was made out of that. It's an edible book.

You know, some of that bubble tape. And so I ate it. It's all written on that. I was like, well, why would y'all do that? They go, that's the point. You're not supposed to eat it. And I well i ate half of it yeah once you eat once you read the paper you just eat it then i started just doing two i mean dude one of those bubble you know the bubble gum that you pull the thing out oh yeah i need one of those you used to put those in our pockets

because it looked like you had dip on you as As a kid, you thought it looked cool. Yeah. We were playing baseball. You'd always have one in your back pocket, like the pros. It was cool. I'll buy the gum, the circle gum that you buy in the long thing. What's it called? It's got all the different colors of bubble gum. I don't know that one. Yeah, it's just in a long like

you know it's long google it aaron the bubble what's that it's the main bubble gum that it's called it's no it's circle licious no but it's like 15 circle bubble gum that's like three yellow three red three green stripe jum jum blow j jum blow i've never heard of this man what is jum blow all about this looks like i wish i had either it's like something from brian's era i mean that's like i mean yeah wash it down with some bidow sometimes they give you where they're like i'll give you a couple extra more and you're like all right i do that. And then I'll eat all of those. I chew it, and it lasts, I don't know, two minutes. And then it's just like cardboard, and then you throw it out, and then you get the other one.

And so I'll just eat them. You drive down the car, you just pound those in. Throw it out the window. Yeah. I got to get some new habits. I've never even heard of this stuff, man. Yeah. Big League Chew. I always want to get that when i see it no i get what a good time we have some here oh yeah actually i have seen it here yeah yeah

there's nothing we don't have like i have when you come to our house like you go to someone's house you know and you're like they don't have i have in felix's house some diet know, and you're like, they don't have. I have in Felix's house some Diet Pepsi. You have stuff stored at his house? Because you walk over there, they're like, we don't have soda. You're like, what are you? I mean, I want to lose my mind on someone. You go somewhere and you go, what are you going to drink? And they're like, we just have like water, some tea, unsweet tea.

Come on, man. Where do you live, dude? We're in America. Do y'all have water? You ever store bottled water here no we have an refrigerator yeah but i drink water i'll drink at night i have that 30 ounce water i drink more water than it it you think i believe that i think you would yeah i believe that because i didn't think you drank any yeah so i drink i drink i drink more water but i drink more than you do I believe that I think you would yeah I believe that because I didn't think you drank any yeah so

I drink I drink I drink more water I bet I drink more than you do probably do is there a ring pop in this house somewhere

probably I just brought some home did you yeah because it got it because they they gave me some of those and they were fun

I mean those are for Harper like she likes it yeah I know I was just trying to think of an obscure candy two things of Nerds. Nerds. Sour Patch Kids.

Where is it? It's all in my suitcase. In a separate suitcase? Yeah. Just full of candy. It's like Kramer's Briefcase. Oh, yeah. Crackers.

In my mouth is like, there's just, you just got sores everywhere. I mean, it's just like, and I just fight through it because it goes, those sores go away. It plays for the love of the game. You just wait them out. They go away. You know, and sometimes when you're like, oh, I can't be eating all this stuff. My mouth hurts.

And you're like, it'll be all right. Tongues like sandpaper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would get a sonic blast and they started they dehydrate me i mean i i maybe three or four last week and then uh and they can make me dehydrated i want water and i and i'll be eating it thinking i don't even want this uh-huh and then oh i can relate to that and

then i'm like but i'm'm still going to do it. Yeah. You push through. I push through. Been there. That's what the greats do. You can't just show up on the days you want to eat a Sonic Blast. That's right.

You got to push through it. Yeah. Yeah, that's when like, you know, do I, like, I don't, like, you know, people have like stomach problems. They're like, I can't eat. Like, your stomach's going to just hurt too bad and you can't do stuff. I mean, I had a smash burger today house that yeah uh got on the airplane i'm not in a threat my body is so used to what's going on down there it's just a mess we handle you can't confuse it at this point it's no it's ready for

anything it's whatever yeah i mean that was one of the things i was this is one of the being in the mood but we had we went and ate pancakes this weekend and then drove uh within eight minutes i was had a hawaiian ice of pancakes i go pancakes it's hawaiian ice must try that best Best Hawaiian ice I've ever had in my life. Hawaiian ice, it was unreal, dude. This guy was, this guy did it right. You know what I got? Orange, cherry, and grape.

You might not think it sounds great. It sounds unbearable. Orange, cherry, and grape. Grape. And it was so good. And then he pours it. He puts a hole in the middle and he pours it. And you're just never not out of the –

Sometimes snow cones, old snow cones. I mean, you're like – you have four bites and you're like – then it's just basically nice. Yeah, yeah. Not here. I mean, dude, it was so good. So, I mean, oh. And you haven't even digested the pancakes yet.

No, and I got a small one. And I was like, I should have got a big one. And the next day, I went and got a large one. And then I was like, I should have got two large ones. I could have eaten. I mean, I would eat it right now. I might go drive and get one tonight. They sound good.

Yeah, they're good. I have the money to do it. So which way we talk? Segway talked segue into money yeah that was nice i respect that one yeah i have the money to i was gonna read the list i have hawaiian ice money dude i mean it's just that's all i'm dragging dude i've got all you really want to do is just get to the point where you're like i don't know how much is the fast food you're like yeah dude i'll take uh i can mess up an order. Yeah. McDonald's. Yeah.

Didn't you perform it at like a Kona ice convention? I did. Yeah. It's probably your dream gig. Yeah. It was a good gig. Didn't get as much of the Kona ice as I thought I would. They might be over it.

When you go to the convention, you know, I don't know what they, that's how you ask to be paid. Yeah. They go in, it was a big convention... That's how you ask to be paid? Yeah, they go in. It was a big convention. It was a big... The big reveal was Watermelon that year.

So they brought out a guy in a watermelon costume, kind of like the Kool-Aid guy, but he's a watermelon costume. People went nuts. They go, finally. I was in the back with this old man, and he goes, I've been saying they needed this

for years a couple guys didn't care for it they were hoping for peach and i was like they had a big argument about that and then i did like 30 minutes uh and then we you know we went home yes a big year yeah so. So, yes, Money. We're talking about Money. Part two. Part two. We did. It's our first part two, isn't it?

Well, yeah. I mean, we did two weeks of comedy. We stayed up comedy part two. This is the first one from like. So, the Money episode was our third episode we ever did. It was our first one. It was like a specific topic. Yeah.

I listened to it on the way home yesterday from dayton just so we wouldn't cover any stuff right did before i would sort of give you a little brief recap so we don't how were we back then did you do you notice a change well do you notice uh i was worried there'd be a lot of stuff we covered but believe it or not we veered off a little bit to some tangents um i meant just us as people how were we back then on the podcast yeah we were i mean we were even worse than we are now we make great strides well i mean i think when i tell you what we talked about it might help understand okay uh nate argued if tom cruise could buy a pack of gum it's not that bad of an argument right we talked about if brad pitt could mow his own grass

right i think people that was one of the first things people liked. I know. He sat in the guy's lap. Yeah. Told him to turn. Yeah. Nate had a 30-minute rant on why we haven't solved cancer yet with all the money we're giving to it. Yeah. So what's the complaint?

Should have been longer. Yeah. Still not solved. Still not fixed, by the way. Yeah. He also talked about if Pablo Escobar earned his money more than Jeff Bezos' ex-wife. I don't know. Out of context, that doesn't sound good, but.

Yeah, yeah. And then you presented if you had a million dollars, a billion dollars, Aaron, if you could make a xylophone fit in your pants. And would you make the xylophone bigger or the pants smaller? I remember that now. Yeah. So those are some of the highlights. But since then, there's a new wealthiest person in the world.

Oh. Did you know that? Over Jeff Bezos? Over Jeff Bezos. Elon Musk? No. Oh. Right now, it's-

Sam Smith. Bernard Arnault. Did you say Sam Smith the singer? I don't know. I just said two common names. Do you know the singer Sam Smith? Yeah. Yeah.

Not much about him. Man. He's doing well. He's doing really good. Yeah. Yep, he is. You don't know who Sam Smith is, do you, right? No, he's a singer.

Okay. Do you know any of his songs? Are you about to sing one? Well, I was trying to think of... I'm playing it in my head so I can think of what it would be called. Okay. I'm not the only one. There you go.

Oh, wow. There you go. There you go. Bernard Arnault. He's now worth $200 billion. Okay. He owns... God, he looks like a guy who'd be worth that much, huh?

He oversees about 70 brands. Louis Vuitton, Sephora, Tiffany & Company. They just buy up all the high-end companies. Yeah, this is the face I think of when I think of Sephora. Yeah. Right? It's like someone... This is the face I think of when I think of Sephora. Yeah. Right? Like someone. He's gotten $100 billion richer since the first year of the pandemic.

So things have been going well for them. Good for him, man. Been working hard. He's worth $200 billion? Mm-hmm. And he's kind of flying under the radar, huh? Bezos is getting all the heat and this guy's just sitting back i think he wears a mask a lot

why do you say that i just don't think he wears a mask i don't think he's you don't think he's a mask wearer i don't yeah he's in France. He looks like that. Yeah. That makes sense. So Bezos is now second currently. I mean, they're going back and forth. What a loser. Bezos is currently second, about $190 billion. He's stepping down, or he stepped down from Amazon.

Yeah. He's the CEO. He's still doing all right. Yeah, he's going to space. Yeah. Elon Musk is currently third. Mark Zuckerberg fourth. Bill Gates fifth.

So those are the guys you'd think of. What a fall from grace, Bill Gates, huh? Yeah. To be fifth? He was the number one my whole life. I know, but he's still fifth, and it's just like he can probably get back up there. If he wanted to? Yeah, it's almost like, I mean, like he's still fifth, and it's just like he can probably get back up there. If he wanted to. Yeah, it's almost like, I mean, like he's.

Number five is pathetic. Of the, I know, but it's. He's giving it away. He wouldn't even medal, dude. Yeah, but I think you would look at it as, you know, he's still the greatest of all time. Yeah. To be five in this, just to be like he's been up there the whole for so long. This is like his Michael Jordan Wiz time. Yeah. To be five in this, just to be like, he's been up there the whole for so long.

This is like his Michael Jordan Wizards phase of his career. Yeah. Like, we all know he's still the GOAT. Yeah. He's just on the way out. You're still just going, you're still watching me play. I mean, he's the most famous out of all of them. Yeah.

I mean, Jeff Bezos has become famous now. But, I mean, Bill Gates is everybody knows bill gates and i think he's given a lot of his money away right to his foundation i mean i think he's not even trying to accumulate money yeah for years like it's not it doesn't matter it's just sad to watch your heroes fade you know yeah there was a some guy in me Mexico for a couple years was the richest guy. In between Bill Gates. El Chapo. Well, maybe. He was up there.

He was up there. Pablo was up there. Pablo, for sure. Yeah, he was worth like $60 billion by current standards. Yeah. He lost over a billion dollars, they said, to rats eating his money. Yeah. Literally eating the cash?

Yeah. Wow. And they just can't find some of it. Because you just run out of places to put it. He buried it and stuff. God. Ever heard of a bank? Yeah.

He was, I don't know, did he go to the ATM? What was his ATM? Popo. Just start a tractor. I need like a 20 on me. I'll get it. Just start a tractor. Just go dig it out.

He's just, how much do you need? With a shovel. With a shovel. He goes, probably just 40 bucks. I'm just running to the gas station.

Okay. He just digs it out real fast. And then they pull out 40 and he gives it to him. he goes, put the rest back, and they cover it back up. That was his ATM. I was thinking about him at the ATM at the store,

and there's somebody behind him, and he's covering up his pen so they don't steal it from him. Yeah. He leaves the receipt behind, it's $60 billion. Checking account. Yeah. Just did his checking. Checking account. I wonder, what has got to be the most sum of money someone has billion. Checking account? Yeah. Just did his checking. Checking account.

I wonder what has got to be the most sum of money someone has just in their checking account. Like if someone's like, I got $50 million in there. And then they don't like move it. Yeah. And you're like, I'll just leave it there. Yeah, I don't know. Is that it? I'm looking.

Oh. I'll find it. Richest Tennessean. Do you know? Haslam or something that's a good guess because he's very wealthy first yep oh thomas frist the first family i was gonna say bill frist that's his brother okay but it looks like most sorry no that's all it looks like most banks only insure your money up to $250,000. So it doesn't make sense to have more than that in your checking, it looks like. Which is good to know.

I'm close. I'm close to that. No, I'm not. Okay. The youngest self-made billionaire is the CEO of Snapchat. Really? I thought it was uh the kardashian that's celebrity i think okay oh there's a difference oh youngest ceo but she would be a ceo am i chloe no not chloe kindle and kylie kylie got it yeah but i don't know she's not kylie

they're all doing well yeah yeah she's the Jenner. Yeah. She's the richest celebrity. She's self-made, right? I guess. Technically, yeah. But she doesn't make no ways as much as this guy. How much is this guy making? He's now worth $14 billion. Yeah.

Kylie wish she was like that. Yeah. What's Kendall make? $100,000 a year? Just imagine if you're the one person in that family that's you go you just don't have it you're like you're getting cash on your face all i have is 500s all right well just give me just give them to me i got 500s and twos they just have a bunch of two dollar bills

the first self-made woman billionaire was Martha Stewart. Whoa. She's a billionaire. Or she was at one time. Yeah. She lost it in jail. Did she go to jail? She did.

She did. I don't know if this happened before or after she went to jail. She's 80 now. Yeah, she was down for over a billion. Now she's only worth like $ million as a 2020 so that is a big loss 600 million dollars yeah just it's gone it's pretty crazy to lose 600 million and you're still doing pretty well when you these people have billions i mean they're not it's no cat like it's you can't even.

Like, Elon Musk, when I look today, he's lost $4 billion like today because the stock value of Tesla or whatever, SpaceX. So this money's all just kind of made up. Yeah. I mean, like, they can't. What if, like, you go, that's not like a real regular. It means just a regular person just can get a billion and just go, I want it out. I want it.

Bring it over to my house in cash. I don't know. To immediately sell all your stock and whatever. Get it liquid. I mean, he loses $4 billion in a day. How's your day go? Could have been better. Could have been.

I lost about $4 billion. Yeah. But like you said, it's kind of made up number because it's his worth according to Forbes because how well the company's doing.

Right. Yeah. There's now 2,755 billionaires in the world. How many? 2,755. That's a lot, man. It is.

That's a lot. 10 years ago there was like a thousand oh okay we're making more a lot more a lot more really fast

I think people are going to be the amount of millionaires are going to be out of control do you want to guess how many millionaires are in the US in the US how many millionaires

a million I feel like a lot million millionaires that feels like a lot there's 330 million people in this country yeah you're saying one out of every 300 people is a millionaire i mean two 2,500 are billionaires which is an impossible number to get to billion is impossible it's just insane and basically everybody's won. I'm going to guess 90,000. 20 million.

20 million millionaires. In the United States? 20 million households, yeah. 20 million? That's crazy. That is pretty insane. That's pretty crazy. 20 million millionaires.

So, yeah. 6% of Americans are millionaires? That doesn't seem right, does it? 6.6, yeah. That's not 6%. Yeah, that's 6%. That's.06. Yeah, well, do you guys know how percentages work?

You move the decimal over, too, and we got 6.666%. Well, why would you not just leave moment to decimal and just stay there for the beginning? Why is there a zero in front of it? Why don't you Google...

This is the dumb math stuff that like... What are you talking about? Why would they not... Why would they not just keep... Why would they not say six... Google, how many... 0.6%? 0.6%.

0.06. 0.6 would be six. Wait, wouldn't that be 6%? 0.6 would be 60%. That doesn't even make sense. Google how many millionaires are in the US. Let's see if I read correctly. Now you're making me question it.

20.27 million. Crazy. Yeah. I had no idea it was that high. I feel worse about how I'm doing. Who's not a millionaire? It should be a new game show. Who's not a millionaire?

Who's not a millionaire? Just pick the loser. Yeah. Imagine if you make 500 grand a year, it's like, ugh. I know. Get, watch him. Beat a loser. Just walk about my car.

Watch him. Grab your keys. He just got in there. Hold your purse. What are you getting, a BMW? Lock it. I got a there. Hold your purse. Yeah, hold your purse. What are you getting, a BMW? Lock it. I got a Mercedes parked next to it. We were talking about that this weekend.

Someone said, like my uncle said, someone bought a used BMW. And people are like, all the guys are like whoa well how much you get some money huh and they they pull up in a lifted truck that's maybe a hundred thousand dollars yeah like you and like the bmw is the much more reasonable like these people drive these big trucks and like dude that's that's so much money right to get a truck lifted up and have every like and does that serve any real practical purpose to have a truck lifted like that or is it all just vanity is it all i mean i don't know how people want to know how cool you are but that's what i mean if you drove in a regular dumb truck so i think it drives over stuff i'm not some of them i guess if they're driving like

construction sites you gotta uh-huh bounce around but no there's probably not it's just cool people like it yeah those ones that are obnoxiously yeah lifted off the very expensive yeah if somebody and everybody just accepts that because it's a truck that you're like you don't think anything about it yeah you see a guy pull up in a bmw and you're like come on man who is a rockefeller here we go and you're like, come on, man. Mr. Rockefeller. Here we go. And you're like, I couldn't even afford your truck. Yeah. Rockefeller was the first billionaire. The first one in the United States? Yep.

I think anywhere. You think? In the whole world? I don't know. They were looking around everywhere back then. Mostly just captained themselves back then. Yeah. Yeah.

The top eight richest billionaires in the world own as much combined wealth as half the human race it's a lot that's a lot it's a lot of people yeah and combined yeah but it's not cash i mean they even went to those guys and be like yo can you give me like 10 grand he's like dude i can't yeah i don't have 10 grand on me they could just say that all the time it's all liquid or no not liquid's good right it's all liquid as you have it right yeah you have it so how much money would they have I mean, you like explain what they call a millionaire. It's not liquid money. It's your house,

your. All your assets. Yeah. All your assets. I'll add together. Minus your, your debts. Yeah. Well,

that's like how many people you're going to make a million dollars in your career earnings. Like you added it up. If you make a hundred grand a year, well, in 10 years, you've been paid a million dollars. Right. But you don't have it. But you don't have a million dollars. Right. 10 years, you've been paid a million dollars,

but you don't have a million, but you don't have a million. Right. Right. But you've made a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, uh,

LeBron James is the first billion dollar athlete who's still playing. But again, he didn't like make it all at once, but he's made a billion dollars in his career. Michael Jordan was the first billionaire athlete, but he's made more money since he's retired than even when in his career. Michael Jordan was the first billionaire athlete, but he's made more money since he's retired than even when he was playing. On shoes and stuff, right? Nike.

Yeah, if he was here now, I mean, he would be. I mean, they're giving him $200 million contracts and stuff like that. I think their contracts, they were like $30 million. He would have made a billion immediately. And now these college kids are getting it. That's going to be really fun to watch yeah talking about like peyton manning's nephew is about to be a college football player yeah just the amount of money he's going to make in college well i wonder if you're going to have

guys you're going to have guys that would have made more in college than they ever do in the pros might be because if they're like if you're say you're baker mayfield right or no johnny manziel baker's right. Johnny Manziel, you go to college, you make all that money. I mean, he got drafted, so he made a bunch. But, I mean, he could have probably made, if you just kind of come in and fall out and you don't get anything big. I mean, there could be, I'm sure there's even college athletes that are very marketable and they can't even make the pros,

but they're the face of this team, which I always think that could help sell stuff like i always think that for vandy to be like look you can go to ohio state but you come to vandy you're going to be a star and so then if we you can make a ton of money at vandy and then like because you can because you'll be the most famous person we have face of the team. Sarah Fuller. Sarah Fuller. Oh my God, the amount of money she could have made last year during all that. Or I think about like Marshawn Lattimore, was that his name?

Marcus Lattimore. Was it Marcus? From South Carolina. It was such a great player and then had injuries and never got to really make it in the pros. He had a brutal injury. It's one of those injuries that I remember seeing it. Yeah, yeah. Danny Warfel.

Did he have an injury? No, but he just never really. But he was a huge college star. He was one of the people that think he's maybe one of the greatest college quarterbacks of all time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then he goes pro, and then it's like whatever. Yeah. Like you draft in third round or something like that? Because there would be like famous people that get drafted. Like everybody just knows this kid killed it in college. Yeah. Like you draft in third round or something like that? Because there'll be like famous people that get drafted. Like everybody just knows this kid killed in college. Yeah. I think he may still hold the SEC record for most touchdown passes for a career. But that Steve Spurrier year, I mean, that was just the system he was in.

Yeah, yeah. There are – no, he's second. Aaron Murray broke it. But, yeah yeah he's second all time yeah ahead of peyton manny ahead of some other big names there oh wow it's crazy it's gonna it's crazy to think about that in the locker room of college football team they'll be i mean there'll be kids that have the potential to be millionaires yeah next to and then you know the walk-on kid that makes i hope they keep them in college longer. I would love that just because I love college sports.

Yeah. Keep them playing. Mm-hmm. So 2,700 billionaires in the world, only seven celebrity billionaires. Would you guys like to try to guess any of them? Celebrity billionaires? Yeah. Bezos?

That's not a celebrity. Isn't he a celebrity i mean no we're talking about like you on mars or no he did saturday night live yeah uh you're talking okay so like entertainers those people became celebrities because they're rich yeah entertainers billionaires tom hanks there's seven of them no No? No. They have to have some kind of line of something. Does it include athletes, too? It does. Tiger Woods?

You know, I think I read somewhere he's made a billion dollars, but he's not on here. Michael Jordan? He lost a lot of his money at some point. All right. There's no athletes on here. Okay. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Maybe I should just get started.

Yeah. Yeah, why don't you rattle off a few? We'll get rolling. Two of them were married to each other. Oh, boy. Oh. No. Bill and Melinda Gates. Kanye West, Kim Kardashian.

They're both billionaires? Billionaires, yeah. Independently from each other? They're both billionaires? They both got a line of clothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, Jay-Z. And Beyonce. Didn't mention Beyonce, but Jay-Z, Tyler Perry, uh, Madea.

He's got his own studio. Makes solid movies. Yep. Oprah. Wow. Steven Spielberg. Spielberg is a billionaire. I guess that makes sense.

He's been around. And George Lucas. Okay. He's the richest because he sold all the Lucasfilm stuff to Disney. 7.2 billion. 7.2 billion. Yeah, not bad. But, I mean, like, do you have that money?

Like, do you get it? Do you get it? Do you get $7.2 billion? Like when he sold it to- Are you like, all right, I go buy an airplane for 100, what does an airplane cost, $100 million or something? Yeah. If you go buy a real deal one and you're like, I want to fly on that airplane whenever I want and I want to go.

And is it like, all right, I write a check for that and I don't have to worry about that? Maybe. If you have that money, I mean, that's where you're that, and I don't have to worry about that? Maybe. If you have that money, I mean, that's where you're doing whatever you want to do. Right. Callie Jenner, excuse me, was the high. Yeah. Should I keep going?

Yeah. Callie Jenner was the highest paid celebrity in 2020. She was worth, she made $600 million in 2020. That sounded like a demon that didn't want you to say it. Yeah. I couldn't find the, I don't think they did Comedians in 2020 probably because of COVID. Yeah.

2019, Kevin Hart was number one. Kevin Hart, Sebastian. He was up there. Seinfeld was second. Gaffigan third. Trevor Noah and Sebastian. That's a good list. That's a good list.

it's a good list that was so funny sorry that's alright only 8% of the world's currency is actual physical money the rest is just digital passed around yeah that's what makes you worry

like there's nothing you can hold so it's like it could just all be it's all just gonna go what if something just goes yeah and they go it's not there i don't see it it's not on the screen you're like what was there and there goes not that number just changes that's the hard part i was thinking about that this weekend i was like my ability to do things in the world all just depends on this number on my phone yeah and i don't really know what that number means i just know i have to get it up and then when i do stuff it's lower it's pretty crazy i never see i never see the money anywhere i don't carry cash anywhere you know i mean 8902 is a lot.

So much money I think you have. I think that's what your net worth is. How much? $892. My net worth is way lower than that. I have a real big negative net worth right now. Student loans. Because of student loans. Yeah.

Net worth is like negative. Negative tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get it. i'll be broke soon yeah i'll get to zero one of these days i'll be worth nothing there's approximately 11.7 billion one dollar bills in circulation in the u.s so to your point you made a year ago in the money if one of these billionaires said i want all my money in ones they could take every dollar bill there is yeah i would go to the bank i want about a nightmare want to withdraw all yeah i mean can you but like that's where like can you even do

that no like i mean they would be like no you can't have it well yeah they clearly don't have it because it's spread out all over the world. Well, they have to ask everybody. That includes like the- I think if you go to all McDonald's, they go, we only take $1 bills. And you go, why is that? It's a long story. Bernard wants it back.

He wants dollar bills. And so everybody has to- All right. And just as it back. He wants dollar bills. And so everybody has to... Alright. And just has to go. We're going to get change? No, you can't actually. You know what's like a surprisingly

high percentage of dollar bills have cocaine residue on them? Yep, I have it on there. 90%. 90% have trace amounts of cocaine on them. Well, I think that's impossible to know. What do you mean? 90% have. Yeah, according to this.

Yeah, there's just no way that's to be known. I mean, they do a percentage, obviously. Yeah, you do a sample size and then you make an inference. In places like Miami and some of the high drug areas, it's almost 100%. Because with the drug trade, when they're doing all the counting all the money, residue gets on it.

So all the money comes from drugs. And people are snorting cocaine through them. That's what I thought. I thought it was because they were touching it. You think it's just spillage? You think 90% of these have been used to snort cocaine with? Yeah.

Then it should be 90% has been up people's nose. That's the real story. That's the worst story is that. You know, 85% of dollar bills have been licked on and then put up in someone's nose. Oh God. It says it's dirtier than a toilet. Yeah.

Flu virus can live on there for 17 days. Well pull them out. The flu virus can live on that? Yep. How long can COVID live on it? I don't know. Still on it. We'll find out. You guys ever had a $2 bill? I have. I have a few of them.

Yeah? Yeah. Some guy paid with merch this weekend with a bunch of twos. Darn. Really? I brought one. I thought I was going to be the only guy to have one. No, they're very cool.

You can just ask for them, right? You can. That's what I did today at the bank. But a lot of places don't think they're real. A guy went into Best Buy and bought a car radio and tried to pay the $114 installation fee with $57 $2 bills.

Store manager was suspicious and called the police. They detained him for three hours in handcuffs. They brought in the Secret Service to determine whether the bills were genuine, but they were. Seems like overkill. I guess that's how you handle counterfeit? Yeah, I mean, but it seems like a, yeah, why is it Secret Service? Well, that's why they were created.

It was for counterfeiting. Okay. It was created in 1865. They said maybe up to half of the money passed around back then was counterfeit. Wow. What was he buying? Car stereo. I mean, I would think just give it to him how much could it have been 114 it was 114 he used 57 two dollar wheels in the in the in the secret service

how much did it cost to send the secret service the secret service to go get the fly them out yeah this guy could be a master secret serviceiter. That's like a Secret Service. They're sitting there. Why did the Secret Service go? They tell the president, we got to go back. He goes, hey, you're on your own for a couple hours. Why? He goes, I was a guy buying a car stereo.

Best buy. So we get a drive over there. Parking's always a pain. We're going there and look at them. And we just held them up. And we go, looks like it's the real deal. Looks legit. And then he leaves.

That doesn't... Why would the Secret Service come? Well, like I said, the Secret Service, I guess that's their job. That's why they were formed, to look for counterfeiting. That's part of their role. We think of them as taking the president. But they have more than one job. I don't think the same guys are doing it to do yeah uh well i mean i don't think

biden's guys are also doing this marking it mr president this is good to a one yeah bold move to counterfeit two dollar bills because that's a bill everyone's gonna look at like the cashier's gonna be like oh i haven't seen one of these in a while. Yeah. But then that's the point of it. Yeah. He didn't believe it. Well, I'm saying it would be dumb to have counterfeited a bunch of tubes. That should have been his argument. Maybe it was his argument why he was handcuffed in the back of a police car.

For three hours. That seems. A bit excessive. That seems like, yeah, what are you doing? How would they even, what do you call 1-800-SECRET-SERVICE? And go, we got a live one down here? You want me to call it? I'll be the guy in the blue vest.

Just get on down here. They come down on their headphones. He's over here. Where'd you get those $2 bills at? The bank, because it's American money, dude. I don't know, you know. Yeah. Why would I buy a car radio?

With counterfeit money. With counterfeit, you know. How many phone calls? It's an interesting question. How many phone calls is the Secret Service away, do you think? I think it's five phone calls away. Like up the chain of command before you get to them yeah the police calls whatever that you know for them going to be at best buy they might be

answering their own phones you might get to them quick i don't know how i don't see how the secret should ever have made it to this best buy uh-huh there's just no possible way that counterfeit $2 bills are that high of a threat. And it's happening so much. Maybe it's a new guy. Where's the phone number? If you need immediate assistance.

Counterfeit notes should not be sent to this address. So if you get counterfeit money, people are sending it in, I guess. But that tells me that's a big part of their job if they're putting it in their newsletter. They have a newsletter? Their contact info.

Their monthly newsletter. Just letting you guys know what we're doing. We're now down to the Dollar General. This past week, We found a guy trying to buy cat food with a $4 bill.

And so kind of raised our suspicions. So we went down there and looked at it. Turns out it was right.

And I never knew that there was a $4 bill. So we learned that. The average lifespan of a dollar bill, you want to guess? How does a dollar bill die? Just gets worn out.

Yeah. Torn, lost. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever retired a $1 bill on you? Not personally, but I read that the US Mint

prints like 90% of the dollars they print is to replace lost money. Yeah. Interesting. My answer might be I don't care. Yeah, I figured. 6.6 years. Six years. Oh, wow.

But $100 bill, 23 years. Yeah, you'd hold on to that a little more. Yeah.. Six years. Oh, wow. But a $100 bill, 23 years. Yeah, you'd hold on to that a little more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's always when you have a $100 bill and you got to be like, can you make change? And it's always in there like, oh, no.

And then they go, we don't. I mean, everywhere you go, they're like, you're taking everything I got. You're like, well, you're a full-on business, and I would think that you should have more he's got a penny cash yeah and just and they're going i don't know i don't know i like cash are you happy with the denominations we have yeah you are yeah you wouldn't like anything different uh three dollar bills that'd be good. A $3 bill? For what? I think fivers are great. Maybe like a $15 bill. That'd be nice to have.

$25? It's weird that we have 20s and not 25s. 20 is the most used bill, it said. Why not? I don't think so. Okay. Why do you need a $25 bill you got a 20 because four of those is a is 100 100 do we need pennies you got a 50 you got a you got a 50 dollar bill halfway

there yeah that's what i'm saying so why is it it's not doesn't work up in even increase yeah but i think you get stuck you're trying to think when you pay for something i would i could see two dollar bills make sense to me. Like a tip better than a dollar, you just give them a two, and it feels a little more. You think a two makes more sense than a 25? Yeah, for tipping. Okay.

All right. Tipping is just a little extra. You go up to the bar. I guess I'm tipping more than you. Some drinks, $2. You give them $25 bills. If I had a $25 bill, I'd give it to them. It'd be fun.

Have you ever gotten a torn bill and you worry that somebody's not going to use it? Yeah, sneak it in with another bill somewhere else. That's how you pass off money. You just kind of put it in and figure it's like, well, this is McDonald's problem now. Yeah.

I read that as long as 51% of the bill is still there, it counts. Yeah, 51%. So you could rip just a quarter of it, and they have to take it. I bet you're going to get in an argument with the guy. The cashier won't be happy. Or so you could take it to the bank, and they'll give you a full one. They'll exchange it. Oh.

They'll exchange it. I mean, that's another step. Places don't have to take any money, cash from you. What do you mean? Like, they could just say,

we're only doing credit cards or we don't take nickels or something like that and legally, they have the right to do it. Hmm.

They don't have to. I guess we've seen that. I just never thought about it. Like the Seinfeld episode where Kramer pays in coins. And they're like, we can't do that. Yeah. That's their right. Takes about, you're going to love this one. 4,000 double folds before

a bill will tear. 4,000? Yeah. What do you mean a double fold? Fold it over and then fold it over. Okay. Do you want to do it now? Start now. All right.

I think maybe watching that could be a little more interesting to listen to this. Have you ever done Cameo? No. I get asked a lot. Yeah. Will you do it asked a lot. Yeah. Will you do it? Probably not. Yeah.

They've asked a bunch. I think it's – I'm not against it, but it's just not something that I would do. I make videos for people, and I just make them when I – if I can make them, I will make you a video to say something. I get asked a lot, so I don't get to do a ton of them. I don't, you know, it's hard to try to do it, but I try to do some, but I'd rather just do them here and there. You might go through a service. You've bought some, right? I have purchased cameos before.

For friends? They're fun, yeah. I got one for Tito Ortiz for my buddy, and then I got one from Rachel Dolezal for my friend Brad. And they got up to be quick. They were hilarious. It's a very funny process that you go through. You write it out word for word, tell them, you know, have fun with it, and then they do it. It's crazy.

My buddy's company just bought the social media app Yik Yak. You know Yik Yak? I remember Yik Yak. I guess it was popular a few years ago and then it died. Well, it relaunched today and they got Brian Baumgartner. Is that his name? Kevin from The Office to do the announcement. And I said, did you go through Cameo?

And he said, no. He went a lot through Cameo, so we just went through his agent and got him to do it for a lot cheaper. Really? Yeah. Yik Yak was, have you heard of Yik Yak? No. It was popular for like a few months, I think my senior year of college.

It's like anonymous Twitter, but you can just view all of the yik-yaks in your area. Like a five-mile radius? Yeah, I think you can set the radius. But imagine the problems that causes immediately. Like on a college campus, people just anonymously saying stuff. It was horrific stuff being said on there about people. I mean, a lot of it was hilarious, but it was like you just knew it couldn't last. I'm surprised that it's still around or getting revamped.

I think it died and then now it's back. Mm-hmm. Wow. I don't, so you're saying stuff about each, it's like local? Yeah. It's, imagine, it's almost like digitally just shouting something in the area anonymously and then everybody can see just anonymous little blurbs being said. Yeah, like.

In the area. Yeah yeah like there's a fire or or yelling at some girl or stuff it was stuff about girls was being said yeah it was just there's a pretty girl right here and then you go and they don't know where you don't know where it is you don't know where it's being said or who's saying it it's just blurbs about stuff it's being said or who's saying it. It's just blurbs about stuff. It's like letting you stuff that it's going on. None of the very local Twitter. Yeah. A local Twitter anonymous. Yeah.

And that's the key is that it's anonymous. So people were saying awful stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they always say. Like if you just made people have to use their real names, that would solve a lot of stuff.

Cause no one's going to say anything when they. Exactly. exactly you're not gonna post horrific stuff on your linkedin yeah you know because it's tied to you i think you can't finally make people create a user profile that's what kind of made it die i guess oh really well they probably ran and i can't imagine how bad that was in high schools yeah you know You know, huh? It's crazy. The, uh, most expensive cameo right now is Caitlyn Jenner, $2,500. One from her.

And then there's some as low as like five, uh, $2,500. I mean, that's, you know, Oh, Caitlyn.

Uh, now all the money goes to the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation. Oh. Just... 2,500 bucks. So guys, if we all pitch in, if all the folks get together, we can have a new intro to the podcast. Do you remember how much you made your first comedy gig i do yeah what was it i made seven

dollars did a show at dino's in east nashville chad riding show yeah i made seven dollars i couldn't believe somebody gave me seven dollars i was blown away by it uh it felt like a million dollars to me at the time. Yeah. You know, what's yours? $50. Seven was the blown away. I couldn't believe I got paid to do stand-up. Yeah, no, I get that. I mean, I didn't, like, freak out or gasp. Yeah.

You got $7. And then imagine if I get up to $10. If I could just get to $10. If I get to $10 and I then do 100 shows a year. $7 is such a weird number. Yeah. Well, it was just what was left. Like tip money?

Yeah, it was just cash. Yeah. I remember a girl reached out to me through Myspace and said we're doing a christmas party our company's doing a christmas party at the wild horse saloon and we're looking for a comedian to do an hour and i said i don't have an hour but i've got three other buddies we could each do 15 and then we went and we met with her boss whatever's putting on and she like, how much would it be? And I said, $200 total. And she was blown away about how little that was.

It should have been her first sign. Maybe we weren't that good. And then we went and did it. And it was upstairs in a private room. But there was a band playing down below. So the music was just thumping through the walls. I just remember it did not go well. I was kind of so embarrassed I was even there because this girl hired us.

How long have you been doing mics and stuff or taking classes? Six months maybe. Okay. Yeah. I mean. I mean. What a show. That's good.

I mean. All right. I started. I took comedy classes. Would you open it? I don't remember the order we went. But I remember it wasn't good. Was anybody a couple years in?

No, it was all four of us that took the comedy class. Well, we took the class in January, and this was a Christmas party. So we'd been doing it almost a year. Yeah. But we weren't good. It'd be hard to do now because of just the setup, the music thumping through the walls. Yeah.

I wish you would have done a full hour yeah yeah i'll do it at least i was smart if as you came back now would you still say 200 but you go it's gonna be just two of us now i did i mean why did you not say 300 so you should get 100 i think i thought i was overpricing myself. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Which I was. Yeah. Six months in, DuraBucks is very overpriced. I mean, I would say three or four years in, I got hired to do some shows in Kansas.

And I did charge like $250 a show. But that's all the way in Kansas. And they couldn't believe. Like, what? Yeah. But again, when they saw me, they were like, all right, I get it now. It's hard to give a number. They go, that like what? Yeah. But again, when they saw me they were like, all right, I get it now. It's hard to give a number.

They go, that's high. Yeah. After they watch you they go, that was too much. That's the one where she said, we're going to have

an Easter show here in a few months. We want to have you back. She told me that before I went up because she had to drive me to the gig and on the way back

she never brought it up again. She never mentioned it. Yeah, we might actually cancel Easter this year. Yeah, we're not even me to the gig. And then on the way back, she never brought it up again. She never mentioned it. Yeah, we might actually cancel Easter this year. Yeah, we're not even going to do stuff. We got employees quitting. We don't celebrate Christian holidays anymore after this. Well, it's tough. You don't know.

I've done it. It's awkward when somebody says, what do you want for this? And there's no frame of reference. You don't know what their budget is. What do you remember yours? I don't know what their budget is. What do you remember yours? I don't know if I remember one where I got paid.

Do you remember a paid gig where you're like, I don't really even deserve this? It's over my head. Yeah, yeah. I mean, everything.

I mean, that first college gig, that poster right there where I did it at belmont you got the myspace url at the bottom i love yeah and then that one i think i got a thousand dollars and uh is what i told him it was i did i didn't really know what to tell him and i think i told him i think it was like it was a college

so i think i'm you know may and maybe they could you know but you're always like thousand dollar i go i don't know you know is that if they if they came back with a hundred i'd probably still do it yeah um but yeah i remember a ton of that where you're you don't know what to say at all you don't know what to offer you don't know what to say at all. You don't know what to offer. You don't know what – because that's one of the hardest parts is going, like, what are you supposed to get? Like, I think I knew at that point, like, $1,000 was, like, what you should get for – if you're doing – it wasn't crazy for, like,

that's what they should be paying for college. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, there was a ton of gigs. I mean, yeah. I think I got – I want to say I won fifty dollars in a contest once and that was crazy and i took a picture of the check so i mean i yeah i was very impressed with money like yeah yeah a thousand dollars is awesome yeah yeah that you get paid that is insane like you're like this is nuts dude like uh i can't i mean i said it this weekend i can't believe that even this weekend was like you're like you just get paid to come do this it always feels like a sham like you always

you always think someone's gonna figure you out and then you're like they're like this is not this is ridiculous right you shouldn't be doing this uh-huh what was your first minimum wage or would you make your first job 425 425 425 725 i remember i lobbied for a raise i got a raise to 750 i was proud of that 725 still the minimum wage uh-huh yeah it's so crazy low when you think i mean i almost got paid that much of that show oh yes seven bucks you know i have your myspace up nate do you remember now you have your top eight but you only have four do you know who your top four were i don't know the last time you looked at your myspace it's probably been a while yeah can you have four people can you guess you know you have your top eight on myspace yeah you've got four on

there you think of who they were uh three of them you still talk about quite a bit i'd never heard of the other guy nick yep nick novicki finn wexler no uh dustin chafin yes he's your number one rich ronovich no uh it's rondell hartley oh yeah and. And Big Jay. That's your top four. It's still up there? Yeah. It's just a shell of it, but this is. Yeah. In Flushing, New York. Is that where you lived when you were doing that? Yeah.

Look at that. How about this old pick, man? It's not even loading. Is MySpace still a thing? Yeah, it still kind of exists, but it's all been distorted. Rondell Hartley. I remember Rondell, he grew up in New York. He never had his driver's license.

He was the first person I ever... I think at that point, he didn't have a driver's license. He had an ID, and I was like, what do you not have? He grew up in New York. He's like, where would I drive? What am I doing? Never needed to. Never needed to drive.

Is there something today that... That's why I wear two shirts, too. Do you have shorts on or anything? I have shorts on or any of those jeans, rubber bands on my hand, and two shirts. And I always like the bottom shirt to hang out a little farther. Puga shell necklace, too. I'm wearing HGS. That's my Hunter Delivery Service shirt.

It came straight from work probably for that set, right? No, I'd wear it just like how skinny I was. At that point, I really was. That was a good picture. Yeah. When you get your first great picture on stage, it's a big moment. Yeah, you got to have a lot of shadows like i got they just do the right angle and you're like well that's gonna be the one for you yeah i just had one that i thought was great and i posted it and

then somebody if one of the folks took my shot and like blew up my head like and put lol underneath it and i was like why is it lol and they're like you look like a cross between smiegel from lord of the rings and something else yeah it hurt because like i thought this is a really good picture yeah those are the ones that hurts when you think something's good and people are like well they go low that's the hard part like when you're on stage sometimes they go low they go sideways right and then it gets too much yeah it's not a good picture um i was gonna ask where we go is there anything money-wise that you think is ridiculous how much like why we pay for something your parents would never pay for

they would say water yeah that's what i was thinking water yeah be by water like it's nothing now i mean that's but i mean i guess but back then were people not drinking what like where would you get water like from the just water fountains water fountains everywhere or just straight from the faucet right but if you're yeah but i mean if you go like the airport or something yeah if you're at the airport like were you just going into the bathroom and filling up i mean they have just cups they have water fountains i guess yeah water fountains yeah yeah so like yeah water i don't remember a ton of people with water bottles like reusable water bottles back then people just not drinking water i don't know they had cups i

think drink it out of your hand i think you would do that you just drink it out of your hand at the out of a sink at the airport you ever see someone just taking a like a quick yeah like bath at the end you're like all right you're like just when you see someone doing that what have you been flying for 15 years dude get it together like where is your like just put some deodorant on and then you just see them in like the bathroom they're like you know and you're like shaving and shaving you're like get a hotel where do you go home dude do you got like you're at an airport you're a business guy yeah that's a lot i think on the opposite end i think um like gas i mean i noticed gas prices but if it's eight dollars a gallon i'm still gonna pay it right like you

gotta have it i mean i guess you'd get to the point now where you'd just buy an electric car. Mm-hmm. But gas could be whatever it wants, and you're probably still going to pay it. It's an inelastic good. Yeah. It's a what? Inelastic.

What does that mean? It means the, yeah, exactly what you said. You're going to, because you have to buy it, the price doesn't. Inelastic. The price doesn't change the demand. Inelastic is good? It's like insulin. People need insulin no matter what it costs. But candy bars were hundred dollars would you buy candy bar

it depends on the candy bar maybe yeah i would buy if i saw one that was a hundred dollars i would be like well i need to i need to see what that's all about there's but there's no my taste, I don't have expensive taste. I can like nice things. I like the things that I like. I want to have them be the best that they can be. But if someone's like, this chocolate's like $100, I don't have that taste to go like, oh, it's the greatest. I would still be like a Snickers would have been.

I would have preferred chocolate ice cream. Breyers chocolate ice cream. Yeah. And you'd eat 16 pints of it in 30 seconds. That's going to be the next Krispy Kreme challenge. I think I can eat a lot. Yeah. I think I could take you.

Out of ice cream? 100%. We could do just to, if we can make our own, just to see, go pound for pound to see who could go longest. Oh, y'all both weigh in? Yeah. Look, I've learned my lesson. I'm not going to throw out numbers or predictions, but I am confident I would out-eat you in anything, especially ice cream.

Yeah. We can do, I just got back from home, so Harper, say hello to everybody. Hi. How much ice cream do you think you could eat? A ton of it? You could probably eat the most? I had ice cream today and lunch. They get ice cream.

She gets ice cream when they get, because you go to the line. Yeah. And you can choose healthy or ice cream. She gets ice cream when they get because you go to the line and you can choose healthy or ice cream. Right? And what do you always do? Ice cream. Should be doing healthy. Who do you think could eat more ice cream, me or your dad?

Brian? Bob Ripplepants. Bob Ripplepants could do it. Because she watched the Krispy Kreme Challenge. And he ate the most Krispy Kreme donuts. I didn't eat the most, but I met over exceeded expectations. You exceeded expectations, yeah. I think I could be, how much ice cream do I eat? I have a ton.

One time, to my best, I thought it would be a funny, we had vanilla and chocolate ice cream in the refrigerator. And so I was going on the road and I knew she wanted the chocolate ice cream in the refrigerator and so i was going on the road and uh i knew she wanted the chocolate ice cream but we had chocolate syrup too so i knew we could just i can mix it because i'm really good at mixing the chocolate syrup with ice cream so right before i leave i eat only all the chocolate and left just the vanilla and someone was not happy with that you don't like vanilla she didn't think it was like vanilla? She didn't think it was funny. She didn't think it was funny at all.

But she was funny. She didn't like ice cream. She's never been a big trier of things where you got to try this. She's like, no. And when she was three, I'm like, eat this ice cream. She's like, no, no. And I just plopped it on her lips. And then she goes, okay, I'll take more. I'll take all of it.

Now I've created a monster with ice cream, and we are problems. So is that it? Yeah, if you throw a penny off the Empire State Building, will it kill someone? I would think so, unless they have the same velocity of a squirrel. Yeah, it would kill somebody, right? I don't know. No. The terminal velocity,

the air would catch it. Oh. Would it even hurt? It might hurt, but it's going to get caught in the air. You'd look up, right? Yeah, you'd look up. Yeah, that's...

Would you even notice it? Would you even notice it? Yeah, you'd notice it. You'd feel it hit you, but it wouldn't kill you. Yeah. What about a quarter? I don't know I didn't look up quarter

Half a dollar What about a dollar bill? No So Oh I forgot to mention I got my Facebook back Oh There you go

It's great Very excited about that Yay Yeah thank you So that's August 27th 28th I'm in

Guttys Comedy Club In Greenwood, Indiana Which is just Just outside of Indianapolis Want to pitch that? Yeah Come out to Guttys

Awesome Tonight I'm headlining Zany's Brian will be there too Thursday August 19th Headlining Huntsville Stand Up Live

Brian will be there too Come see Two Thirds Of Nightland Yep Or maybe I don't know if that percentage is accurate. That would make us all equals. Two-thirds, yeah. We're not all equals, but that's two-thirds.

That's what I mean. Yeah. You're two of the, you know. Two of the three people. Two guest stars. Come see the discounted version. they yes thank you everybody sorry my voice is i'm very tired we had a long weekend had a kind of a bit of a travel day today uh but uh yeah and uh the next week will be, I think a replay or something we recorded, have a prerecorded episode.

Cause they will be going to do something. I don't think we've talked about it, but we will give you Brian and Aaron have some, a fun little thing that they're going to do for sure. And so we're going to talk about it when they get back from that. So we will see you then. Thank you, everybody. Goodbye.

Say let's go, folks. Goodbye, folks. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating on our comment.

Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.