The Nateland Podcast - #7 Crime

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

This episode, we're discussing crime. The guys look at some of history's greatest crimes, dumbest criminals, and debate what each of their roles would be if they were a heist crew.   Podcast produc...ed by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 what's up everybody nate bargetzi here at the nateland podcast i'm here with aaron weber brian bates both stand-up comedians former stand-up is that no one's doing anything anymore uh so welcome to the podcast welcome to episode episode, whatever it is. Eight, right? I think seven. Seven. All right. I jumped ahead. Uh, seven in my head.
Starting point is 00:00:30 It's eight already. I'm already ready for a, uh, thank you guys for listening. You've been subscribing, leaving nice comments. You've been awesome. We appreciate it. Uh, can't thank you enough. And that's, um, you know, and we're going to read some of your comments. That's what we've been trying to do.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Open the show with some, you know, I think it's good to let people vent at us when they're mad. You know, some get upset. Some don't. Not everybody gets upset. Everybody's been actually pretty nice. Are they funny? That's fun.
Starting point is 00:01:02 We don't have to do all the heavy lifting. You get some of these people in. First comment, Gail Green. I don't know if it's G-A-E-L-I. Gailie Green. Yeah. Gailie Green. So as part of the future episode, Nate ranting like he's a 60-year-old man.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Because as a 57-year-old woman, you sound like my 57-year-old husband who this morning literally said to me, you know, I think the problem is social media. Really? You both just got there? Thanks for the laughter. Yeah, me and your husband get it. I guess that's the problem.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I do understand that I did get ranty. I don't know. something set me off. I was kind of fired up. And, you know, and then you get this and you're like, well, I'm going to say it. Almost like I then thought later, I was like, I don't care. You know, I mean, I care, but I don't. There's enough problems. I, you know, I do get it.
Starting point is 00:02:03 I've learned, though, as being 41, I am a fan of giving advice. Yeah. I learned it last night. Last night I did the JT and Chad podcast. I don't know if you know them. Very funny guys. They're kind of like the California guys they've been on. They would go in and do council meetings or town hall kind of stuff, and they'd read.
Starting point is 00:02:26 It's very funny. Oh, I do know those guys. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're really funny. Really funny. And so I did their podcast yesterday, and they do an advice thing to give advice, which we might do because I learned I like giving advice. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I think when you hit 40, you're just ready to start giving out. And I'm in the beginning of giving advice. Right. I think when you hit 40, you're just ready to start giving out. And I'm in the beginning of giving advice, so I need to learn to get good. Because an old man always has something super, it's very quick advice. Super profound, yeah. Just really great. About comedy or just about life? No, it can be about anything. Comedy, life, whatever.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah. But, you know, an older, an old man, you know, he's like, leaves don't grow upside down or something. I don't know. And you're like, oh, yeah, man. You know, it's just, he's got it down. So I think you have to, when you hit 40, you have to start getting good at that. Yeah, because I'm not comfortable with it yet.
Starting point is 00:03:24 No. Like, I have no advice to give. advice your advice is stupid that's right you're just a dumb kid and so if you try to give me advice i'm like get out just leave aaron leave old man advice right here i try to give you advice and you never listen his advice is stupid and he's yeah that's it's lebanon for you uh he's from lebanon tennessee are you really yeah you said that like that's incredible yeah we made it out he made it out lebanon today i'm from the place 30 miles from here he made it out so thank you yes i was i was there was a few that were nate yelling get off his lawn talking about the past
Starting point is 00:04:03 there is there's a little bit. Social media is a problem. I think it's crazy. Here we go again. Yeah. Someone else said the source thing, too, is like you should ask for sources. The newspapers should give you the sources. I don't like the system that we've built that random people are just asking.
Starting point is 00:04:24 It's like I don't like the system that the newspaper is built i think they had a you you did that and then the very next thing was the polls you're like who are these sources so i think maybe they question your i didn't even notice that yeah oh yeah it's it's a lot i mean you don't know what you're complaining about so you just get i get mad at all of them it's the system that it's all built in it's that the newspapers are not held up that random people have to ask for sources and then i get annoyed too at the random people asking for because i just think people use use that as an excuse they which are sources it's like being like i don't know what you're talking about so i'll just say that okay uh but yeah well and what yeah the other was it the thing that you just
Starting point is 00:05:05 said and then oh the polls yeah who's taking these polls it is crazy who are taking these polls we found out yeah a few people in these comments are yeah well and i mean not the comments i'm pointing at you know that's right someone said everything you rented about i then said well i do that yes that's what's that but That's one of the things, right? So Jason Loham, on your moving on when you feel comfortable advice is spot on. There you go. Knowing when to leave is crucial. Most people stay too long, and then they get stuck.
Starting point is 00:05:39 As a pastor, I've moved a number of times. God grew me every time. Good advice. Good for him. I mean, that could be, I could see that. I bet as a pastor that's tough you're because you know you're the pastor of this church and you could stay there and i mean you know what i never thought about that a pastor actually really probably does need to kind of keep it moving because it's going to get stale and you just know, it just gets too routine and too comfortable.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Yeah. Oh, that's very much a job, that advice. All right, he gets it. My favorite part of the podcast is when Nate ridicules some hypothetical person for some specific behavior and then sits back and waits for Brian to say, I do that all the time. Sorry, Brian, ruined your comment with revealing it. You already revealed that guy's comment.
Starting point is 00:06:31 That guy would have brought some heat, don't you think? Yeah, I suppose. Was that the same guy? No. No, we didn't get that guy's name. But yeah, that is funny. That is, yeah. I mean, you't get that guy's name. But yeah, that is funny. That is, yeah. I mean, you do do a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Well, you alienated like 99% of the people last week by saying, who's these people posting with three viewers on Facebook? Well, that's all of us. Yes. But comments are one thing versus a video, like an actual production. That's the, like, it's leaving comments or that's, I get that. It's someone lecturing. It's someone making a video talking to an audience that's not there.
Starting point is 00:07:16 That's the part that's funny to me. It's like putting a video up. Putting a funny video up is like you're creating something you're hoping people see it. It's when they're going live and then you see four people and you're like what are we doing man i'm so afraid to go live on any social media now because i don't i mean how many people do you think you'd be you get more than four hopefully i don't know i'm afraid to try it oh i hope it go try it let us know i hope it's six i mean mean, that's what I mean. Like six people.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah. You really think about that. If I went live and six people were alive, I'd be like, all right. I mean, this is – I think you could tell them, guys, do you think we should just all go home, right? I mean, you're home. Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.
Starting point is 00:07:58 And everybody would be like, I think so. And then it goes to five. And you're like, oh, that guy really agrees. I did a show last night, Instagram live show show and you could see how many people were watching and it ranged from eight to ten the entire time when we were done it got down to five wow yeah that's tough to see while you're doing your act or your set how many people are there watching yeah it's tough what was it i don't want to say no you don't help them out well not after I just said there's nobody watching. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Well, we could get him some watches. Oh, well. That's like you don't want to help. It's like someone drowning. You're like, I just said someone would drown. I don't want to help him out. He's like, just help me drown. You're like, no, I just pointed out that the water looks rough today
Starting point is 00:08:40 and the guy's out there. But you know, every time you do a show, well, maybe not you, but Aaron, and they're like, there's nobody there, and they're like, I don't know what happened. Last week it was packed. Every time. Almost every time. Well, that's how... I've said that a bunch.
Starting point is 00:08:54 That's how this guy was. That's how every show you would go do... I've done shows. I performed for one guy once. I've done shows where you go do it, and go man last week when it was crazy i was always the comic that they got the last weekend for some reason i was on the longest stretch ever of being like i missed the greatest show ever by one week every week i was just like a traveling how you doing how's it going how's it look tonight ah man tonight i guess there's a
Starting point is 00:09:22 it's always like something i guess there's a replay of a football game tonight. It's not even something good. It's not some gigantic thing. He's like, I don't know, maybe. I always hear high school football is so big in this town. There's a good 30 for 30 airing tonight, so that probably hurt us. And you're like, ah, with DVR too? You don't think people, he's like, no, they want to see it live for some reason? Keith Hines.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I was a helicopter search and rescue guy, and we did sometimes get fooled by a Mylar balloons. Mylar? Oh, I'm reading this so wrong. We did sometimes get fooled by Mylar balloons. Sometimes when we were searching for a person in the water from 500 feet up in the air. Aaron was kind of right. I told y'all, balloons are killing people out here.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah, balloons are killing people. But, I mean, it didn't. It just, they got fooled. But that prevented them from finding somebody. So maybe people died because they go, well, we lowered the bed that gets lowered into the water. Yeah. And there are balloons in the way.
Starting point is 00:10:28 And they keep hitting it, and the balloon just kind of won't go in. You know how you hit it, like, if you're trying to grab it, and it just keeps, like, going? Yeah. And you're like, God, I can't get under it. And then you're trying to get under it, and it keeps moving. Yeah. Aaron, you know what?
Starting point is 00:10:43 This was your source. Who was your source? Keith Hines, Aaron. That's right. That's your source from now on. Where's your source coming from this? Keith Hines. Okay. The boy don't play. Pretty sure there have been studies about how people are much ruder to each other because they're used to just bossing Alexa and Siri and the rest of the digital assistant things around and getting what they want. I told my kids that they weren't allowed to use Alexa unless they said, please. And thank you. Not sure it's stuck, but at least I can say I tried to be a good dad in that regard. See, this is my source. The boy don't play. Who's
Starting point is 00:11:20 your source? Boy don't play. He did it. He does it does it at home that's good we're trying to get our daughter you know to say yes ma'am more and yes sir and uh you know politeness is a it's a good thing and i guess be polite to these robots and when these robots take over these kids you know robots gonna there's an old dane cook joke he's like yo he's had the crazy kid at school then you know he'd always like buy him a Snickers or something. So one day that kid comes in and shoots the whole school up. He looks at Dane and goes, you're all right. And then he'd always just treat them. And that's what you've got to do with robots now.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Treat the robots nicely so when they do come after us all, they go i think you know they're like i don't understand niceness but i think that guy if i did know it that was the guy trying to do he said thank you and when he talked he hold me up a little bit he would plug me in i always felt charged he kept me charged he's a decent owner and then they move on letter rip love the show boys i absolutely absolutely disagree with nate stance on asking for a source you should always ask for a source because reporters broadcast journalists and writers can literally report write anything and claim this fact without posting a source how would you ever know if it was fact opinion or pure speculation without being provided a source to where they get the information that is
Starting point is 00:12:46 being reported to you yeah i mean i i get the idea but i'm saying we we shouldn't be a to a point that a guy has to ask a professional newspaper for a source like you should be asking they should be presenting that's the point they should be presenting the That's the point. They should be presenting the source. Oh, okay. They should be like, here's the sources. I do get it. The system is what's messed up. Okay. And then seeing a comment that says, hey, what's your source? I think there's a mix of like the newspaper should be giving sources,
Starting point is 00:13:18 and then that guy, I bet that guy just goes around and asks people for sources. You know what? We should all just ask everybody for sources just start doing that it's actually pretty fun to do just go and ask someone says anything or the weather's gonna be bad today yeah what's your source about that where's your i'd like to see your sources on the weather today you challenge the weather man about it yeah i'm saying at home just start family everybody family friends everybody just start doing that hey is this 20 if you had Target
Starting point is 00:13:46 you know is this 20% off I don't think it is today well what's your source that says just ask let's start asking everybody for sources
Starting point is 00:13:54 yeah I'm in I'm in right yeah I've done that with you before yeah you'll say they say someone was like
Starting point is 00:14:00 who's they it's they it's always they yeah I do that's all I ask but I mean get the dumber and dumber try to go I was like, who's they? It's they. It's always they. Yeah. I do. That's all I ask. But, I mean, get the dumber and dumber.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Try to go and see how dumb you can ask someone for a source. That confuses them. What can you do that can go? I got Outback last steak. I ordered Outback last night, and I ordered whatever I ordered, the steak. They didn't have filet or something, or steak, they didn't have, you know, filet or something, or prime rib they didn't have. And I was really coming to some money, so I ordered the prime rib at Outback. And they go, we don't have that.
Starting point is 00:14:36 We're out of prime rib. And I could ask that guy, well, what's your sources? You had the chef in the kitchen? Yeah. Yeah. What's his source? Yeah. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Well, what's your source on this? Because it was just the manager that called me. And then I want to hear him go, yeah, the chef in the kitchen. And I go, all right. Thank you. Thank you. And then I move on. I go, all right.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Then I'll take a ribeye. That's still down there. I didn't get to eat. I did that JT part. I got it. It was 8.53, and I was like, ah, I'm supposed to do a podcast. And I was like, I was pulling in my neighborhood, and I had to just come upstairs and ate their salad with tangy tomato.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Pretty good. They got great tangy tomato. They're doing good stuff at Outback these days. Their man, their dressing is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever been to Outback. What? Really? That's crazy. Yeah,'t think I've ever been to Outback. What? Really? That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:15:27 I'm more of a Logan's guy myself. I like Logan's too. They got good bread. They do. Suffin to talk about. Are these the names? Yeah, some of them have handles. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Polls and focus groups have always seemed like a joke to me. I used to do a focus groups all always seemed like a joke to me i used to do a focus groups all the time like aaron and you re in the research study places that facility that facilitate them oh no this is a big one that facilitate them get paid all right i'm not crazy uh and the research studies study places that facilitate them and get paid to find a specific people to pull opinions from. This is not always easy to do. It got to a point where I did enough for a particular research study company that they would call me and say, okay, we need you to say you shop at this store twice a week or pretend you're a tobacco user and come
Starting point is 00:16:23 in for this cigarette focus group. So now I just think all polls and focus groups have a thumb on the scale and are extremely inaccurate. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, I agree with that. I think that's true. I mean, think about a jury even. In a jury, the lawyer, you know, I watched Seinfeld last night. And they talk about getting one coffee. When he spills coffee on himself and he could
Starting point is 00:16:46 give me one coffee drinker on that jury and you're gonna be a rich man and he and she goes well i'm a coffee drinker and i don't and elaine says i'm a coffee i don't side with you he goes well you'd be weeded out that's right and that's what jury i mean that's what they do they weed the person out that they're trying to get to put it in your favor right and that's the law so that's supposedly you can't completely cheat that system i'm sure it happens but with a focus group i mean you're like i'll give you 50 bucks just say you're on you smoke all right i don't care you know and then we see that that's what I'm talking about. This guy, Sutphin to talk about.
Starting point is 00:17:29 This guy we should hang out. Doogie double takeout. Depending on the topic, sometimes I think Nate is a genius, and sometimes I think he's an idiot. I mean, that's what I'm talking. I like that. I think that's what I want to be talking I like that I think that's what I used to think What?
Starting point is 00:17:47 That I was genius And then What do you think now? Just an idiot? Well I figured it out I don't think you're doing Rocket science over there Uh huh
Starting point is 00:17:55 You figured what out? Whether Sometimes I used to think You were genius Sometimes I think you're an idiot I don't think that anymore What do you think? Just idiot?
Starting point is 00:18:03 Across the board? Let the listeners decide you think just idiot well across the board let the listeners decide you think an idiot uh i i look i sometimes my a genius is going to be an idiot at times that's what i think i think if you're a genius you're going to be an idiot you say nobody's a genius across the board they do some crazy dumb stuff. Their things are at least they're giving ideas out. They're moving forward. They're not just, you know, balling the ball back over.
Starting point is 00:18:34 They're trying to spike it and win some. They're not, you know, this is this guy over here. Just trying to keep the ball in play. Would rather the score be 0-0. We go home, never talk about the game ever again. I think most geniuses had – That was a pretty genius analogy. I mean, that was well done. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Yeah. So who is it? Am I the genius or the idiot? Or maybe you're the genius for getting it or the idiot for not getting it. Boom. Doogie double takeout. Yeah, you double took that. All right. You and doogie idiot part that was
Starting point is 00:19:06 one too much that was idiot yeah he kept going i think i'm good out the gate and then it's what follows leave them wanting more whole sauce i love brian but there's no way he never worked at a blockbuster i mean that's true that is true still wears his uniform. I did not work at a Blockbuster. I did work at a video store, though. I was going to say, you seem like a family video guy. I tried Blockbuster, and I didn't get accepted. Oh, that was the big leagues. I worked at Megavideo.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Feature films, man. You're doing feature films now. You worked at Mega, what is it? Megavideo in Murfreesboro when I was in college. You loved helping people do i did i loved it was my favorite job ever yeah i uh would people come in with like give me your recommendations for movies and stuff back how did that work a lot uh and we were the only place that um in murfreesboro that sold adult videos oh you remember video stores used to have like a back
Starting point is 00:20:04 room that's probably before your time you remember video stores used to have like a back room? That's probably before your time. Do you remember this? Yeah. I'm aware of that phenomenon. Yeah. And so all these like Murfreesboro council members and stuff would come in there. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:15 The big wigs of the town would come in. Yeah. So you would see them come in. Video stores are like the one thing now that small towns have that big cities don't. Yeah. Right? Yeah. stores are like the one thing now that small towns have that big cities don't yeah right uh yeah small like they yeah there's one there's a blockbuster in alaska i think is the last one yeah i know they're yeah but i think there's some small towns now that still have video stores
Starting point is 00:20:36 i went to a pizza place in illinois a couple years ago you if you got a pizza you got a free dvd rental there's a place attached to it so there's still a few places like that. I definitely miss it. I miss going in and being like, what are we going to get? Because it added to, it's like going to the movies. It added to it. You would get in your car, you go drive to Blockbuster, you walk around, you're looking at everything.
Starting point is 00:21:01 It was great. It was great. This is Holly. She's being crazy right now. Did she want out? She's looking up here for something. I think she wanted the Seinfeld DVDs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Our dog, Holly, a little more active. Abdeel Flores. Flores? Abdeel Flores. Nate, I have two toddlers. Work full-time. Attend college full-time ball state all right former i'm glad to hear and i do all of the polls for ten dollars all of them that's good
Starting point is 00:21:33 i like that but she does yeah she gets some ten bucks she does it for the money but she is two toddlers works full-time and college so she's she's someone we want to take the polls yeah she's doing all the things yep she's a mom working full-time and college i mean she's a dream pool person yep yeah she should get more than ten dollars she's finding the time pano p i really like all three of you there are are times I want Brian or Aaron to ask Nate, what are you talking about? Nate, you are scattered, but endearing. As for social media, I couldn't agree more. This felt like I'm getting sit down by my boss. For social media, I couldn't agree more. People have no shame as to what they will do to get some attention in a completely oversaturated world of people wanting to be rich and famous. As Nate said, just step to the side.
Starting point is 00:22:29 That goes for both people that are famous for doing the dumbest thing to those that have two people watching i don't know about you she says uh you are scattered but endearing i get that but then they agree with you but then they're yeah and totally i don't know if pano is a man or a woman i'll be honest they were pretty scattered there in that comment i don't know if Pano is a man or a woman. I'll be honest. They were pretty scattered there in that comment. I don't really know what the second half of that comment meant. I tried to follow it. I kind of gave up. I think they're agreeing with Nate about people who are trying to get famous on social media and have too.
Starting point is 00:22:55 It's oversaturated. Yeah. It's being that no one, like we said, no one being famous. Famous used to mean something. Famous used to be your craft. You were unbelievable at your craft. And now it's kind of anybody can do it and if someone gets a video that goes the right way then just someone that
Starting point is 00:23:11 doesn't have the talent to do an hour long show you know and then that's when you see musicians go out but they all kind of go away i mean you see what you watch people i think did we talk maybe we talked about that it was like it'll be interesting to see youtubers like you're going to see them like waiting tables like you're gonna did we talk about that last week not really but it's like there's an idea i thought about there's gonna be a point where you're gonna end up being like i've recognized my server he had a meme viral, but there's no money in it. So like having your 15 seconds, there's actually going to really be 15 seconds of fame.
Starting point is 00:23:50 You know, that saying never really, someone would always say it. Everybody has their moment. 15 minutes of fame? 15 minutes of fame. Everybody has their moment or whatever, but there's going to be a point where your moment is going to be
Starting point is 00:24:01 millions of people saw your face and maybe your meme still gets shown around. And then you're going to see that guy just at a regular job because he's not going to be able to you know you're not there's going to be too much of that that you're not going to turn it into something that's concrete that people will spend money for right and so you're going to be like i think i've met my server before and then you're like oh he's the he did popsicle too fast in a YouTube video. You're like, oh, that's right. You still got a headache from that?
Starting point is 00:24:27 He's like, ah, you know, still getting after it. And then he gets tipped a little more because you're like, oh, yeah. You're like, ah, he's fun, you know? Robert Hort, abstain from washing your hands out of respect for Poppy today. That was when Poppy died. That's pretty funny. Yep. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Because Poppy didn't wash his hands. Poppy died of COVID for not washing his hands says no i don't know what he does uh caught up to poppy okay he wasn't prepared for the covet 19 times he always refused to watch his hands two more tyler johnson nate can be a little harsh on baits keep it up you guys love it i don't i think he's saying keep going i know i don. I agree with that. Nate can be a little harsh on Bates. Keep it up. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Last one, Nick Bronell. If you want to help with traffic, just have Nate go wave those big, weird, orange hands around the road to direct cars. Oh, Nick. I think they're getting toned down i hope so went into the golf lesson this morning already got after trying to get real good at golf you're gonna see i'm gonna start a golf podcast at some point because i i love it too much uh all right that's the comments
Starting point is 00:25:41 hope you guys like that we appreciate you guys guys commenting. We think they're funny. We think they're interesting. We want to have y'all. So you have some say into this, you know, so you don't, you know, you don't think we didn't forget about you. Uh, I know I'm not on social media a lot, so I know it's sometimes I get a lot of people wanting to interact and I don't really do it often. So, uh, this is the interaction. So if you want to interact, we'll eventually get an email. Maybe we'll have advice, you know, stuff like that. Maybe you don't like these comments, but that's why you can fast forward. That's what this podcast is about. Skip ahead, man, to your parts.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah. We don't care. Bates and I were talking. Somebody commented, I wish the comments weren't at the front. And then the next comment was, I love that they're in the front of the, it's just nobody, you know, fast forward if you don't like it.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Yeah. That's the, that's figure out your system in watching this. Yeah. To be, that's the, that's the don't, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:36 this we're trying to put it in. I think you got to start with the comments because it's going to be weird for us to go back into comments. Yeah. Especially if they're about the previous episode. Yeah. It's not going to make sense. Yeah. So just fast forward. I mean it's not going to make sense. Yeah. So just fast forward.
Starting point is 00:26:48 I mean, hopefully, I don't know. We don't know how long that was. But, you know, try to make them like 20 minutes or something. But just fast, you know, just kind of, you can guess. I fast forward through most podcasts. I don't listen to this garbage, man. All right. I fast forward through this one.
Starting point is 00:27:06 I've honestly, I go through and just skim and make sure, you know, I don't have like a sleeve hanging off, but I don't even care. All right. So the new, as you know, we're still trying to figure out what's the angle of this? What's the, you know, I mean, we're starting a podcast, doing a show. It's, you know, we kind of stumbled into this talking about like kind of crazy things and kind of going down these rabbit holes. And a couple of this one we're going to talk about today to get it started.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I've come up with a new little system of thinking I will take a joke from my act because that's what's going to start this podcast today. And we're going to do a joke from my act because that's what's going to start this podcast today. And we're going to do a joke from our act, and then we are going to build off of that from that joke, the rabbit hole from the start of the joke. And so we'll see if this works. We're going to try this until we stop it because it's stupid. No, that's the point of this. So the joke today that we're going to do is Two Thumbs Bargetze.
Starting point is 00:28:06 And it's a big famous joke of mine. No, it was on Brad Paisley's Comedy Roundup. It was on Netflix. But Two Thumbs Bargetze, we're going to play it for you right now. The last name is Bargetze. I know nothing about the history of my family I've never like really looked into it so I asked a great-uncle told me a pretty wild story we had a guy in our family they got he got killed got murdered actually by a sickle like the
Starting point is 00:28:40 thing the Grim Reaper carries and this was like the 1800s too, just so you don't have to feel, it's not a recent story. We're over it as a family. So the guy, it was his own fault too. The guy's nickname, they called him Two Thumbs, Two Thumbs Bargetzi. And the reason they called him that
Starting point is 00:29:02 was because he had two thumbs on one hand, but still had the other thumb. So not even a good nickname. I'm Two Thumbs Bargetzi. Everybody but him is Two Thumbs Bargetzi. He's the only not Two Thumbs we've ever had in the history of our family. So like I said, he was a troublemaker. Two Thumbs, he was hooking up with this guy's wife.
Starting point is 00:29:25 So he's at her house. He leaves. The neighbor sees him. He gives him two thumbs, one hand up, you know. And the neighbor's like, all right. The husband gets home. The neighbor was like, hey, your wife's cheating on you with this dude. And he was like, who's the guy?
Starting point is 00:29:42 And he was like, I don't know his name, but he had two thumbs on one hand. If that helps. And, you know, the guy was like, that helps a lot. It's, I mean. I didn't know you were going to be that specific. So I know exactly who it is. So two thumbs was at home. This is all is. So Two Thumbs was at home. This is all what I was told.
Starting point is 00:30:07 He was at home. He was gardening. He was extra good at gardening. And he's sitting there. He's gardening. And the sickle's there. And then he kills him. He kills him with it.
Starting point is 00:30:17 And that's it. That's basically it. But here's the lesson. All right, guys? The lesson is if you're doing something shady that's not the time to stand out
Starting point is 00:30:29 you know like don't you don't want to be different then put your dumb hand in your pocket if I mean if I had
Starting point is 00:30:37 three legs and was going to rob a bank I'm going to be the getaway driver I'm not going to gallop in the bank with all three legs. Just blend in. That's the real message. Just don't stand out. All right. Two thumbs Bargetzi. A joke.
Starting point is 00:31:02 It's a great joke. It's a good little story. Ronnie Bargetze, he's my second cousin. He coached at Vanderbilt in the 70s. I just said my uncle. I always think it's kind of weird to say your cousin, and then it's like a 70-year-old man. And then you're like, what? But my dad lived with him.
Starting point is 00:31:24 That's how my dad got to nashville as he moved in with uh uh ronnie ronnie's an amazing person ronnie bargetti these the bargetti that my whole life has been you ronnie's boy like because he was at vanderbilt everybody knows ronnie he announced the vandy games they choose to listen to i did ronnie so if you listen to Indie Games, yeah. And so Ronnie's the one who told me. So we were doing Christmas at his, I think it was his house or something. We did Christmas one year.
Starting point is 00:31:52 And he was, I forget, he just told me something. And I remember thinking, I was like, I could maybe do that. I could tell this story somehow. So that's my crime. I mean, do you guys have any crime in your family? Any? Nothing. I got a second cousin
Starting point is 00:32:08 that's been to jail a time or two for some minor offenses, but. Nothing crazy. Just, you know, you got a cousin that. Just life.
Starting point is 00:32:16 That's got some good stories. Yeah. I mean, do y'all ask him, do you ask him questions? I mean, I see it. I've seen a couple times
Starting point is 00:32:23 on a website. Yeah. He's never been to prison. Yeah. It's just like, you know. But do you see him questions? I mean, I see it. I've seen it a couple times on a website. He's never been to prison. It's just like, you know. But do you see him often? Maybe once a year. In between? In between, in and out?
Starting point is 00:32:33 It really is. Sometimes he's not there. Yeah. Is he coming this year? You're like, ah, he was, but, you know, he couldn't. The door was unlocked. What's he going to do? Knock, steal the stereo system you know and then
Starting point is 00:32:46 so then everybody's like yeah no i understand i understand do you have anybody no i got nobody a friend or anything that's done anything uh yeah it's just normal you know college stuff people get in trouble nothing serious thank god yeah just yeah like you get in trouble with like the ra or something oh underage drinking stuff like that you know bar fights that kind of thing yeah did i have a male school um i don't know if we had any i'm trying to man do i have a friend and may go to jail prison you know what's really a bummer now is they when you get arrested now they put your screen like your mugshot is online forever that's how i know about like my second cousin oh really yeah someone will send it to me i mean there's people that just end up in they're just in
Starting point is 00:33:34 prisons they're in jail like just in and out of trouble like they're just in trouble a lot yeah you know so i mean it's it's crazy you just have people that are like yeah they're all in trouble like everybody's in prison or you know in prisons jail is just your local jail you're usually in and out right in prisons it's the real deal yeah that's when you're like go to trial and sentenced man speak like so that my two thumbs is my is our family crime and it is i mean it's all a true story uh it's very funny i mean it's very it's funny now but when did that happen uh 1800s yeah what did i say i don't know what i said 1800s yeah yeah i think it was like that maybe he's 19 yeah maybe early it was a long long time ago yeah i mean he was you know where i mean you could kill someone you know i don't you know you think back then like, you could kill somebody. You know, you think back then, like, how'd they even catch anybody?
Starting point is 00:34:27 Yeah, I know. I mean, you could just kill anybody. I mean, it used to be just you could kill anybody you wanted to. Not that long ago. Like, DNA wasn't really widely used until the 90s. You ever watch old movies? When you watch old movies, they are the, like, was watching uh mafia movies and the mafia i mean dude they would just shoot people in restaurants yeah and they just get away with it they can just
Starting point is 00:34:53 be gone because there's no cameras no dna so you just walk in no ballistics no but yeah you just they throw the gun in a river and they move on yeah and as long as there's no eyewitnesses and no one's gonna eyewitness these guys it's like footprints is the only thing they could look for the cops have no thing to go off what were they doing john millennia is a you know that joke about dna blood no he has a great joke about uh before dna they were like uh lieutenant there's a pool of the the suspect's blood here on the floor and like gross yeah get that cleaned up so we can get on this case yeah yeah not knowing yeah that's funny speaking of family uh what's we're thinking about like famous
Starting point is 00:35:39 like some famous crimes some famous what's some's some good family since none of you guys brought anything to the table and you grew up a bunch of losers. I come from a genius idiot family. The idiot genius family where we're murdering people. We also had two, this was two of our family
Starting point is 00:35:57 in the circus. A tightrope. Your family? Yeah. And I don't know a ton about it. You know, that's the stuff. Sometimes I get told something and I go, that's crazy and I just move on. You wouldn't know a ton about it you know that's the stuff i sometimes i get told something and i go that's crazy and i just move on you wouldn't ask a follow-up you should you
Starting point is 00:36:10 should ask one and i will now okay i will now my dad's a magician so i'm used to a lot coming at me that's true there's not a lot of stuff that i'm like what we have something crazy you're like yeah it kind of makes sense now i'm a a comedian. My dad's a magician. My dad's president of the International Brotherhood of Magicians. Just got it. Big, big, it's a big honor. Truthfully,
Starting point is 00:36:32 right now, for the next, for the next year. So we're very, very proud of him. That's awesome. But yeah, I'm used to,
Starting point is 00:36:38 you know, my grandma's in bowling hall thing. It's weird stuff, man. We're just used to stuff coming at you. What job could your daughter have one day that would shock you? I mean, just some educational job. A real job.
Starting point is 00:36:51 A lawyer would blow my mind if she is just a doctor. If she's a doctor or something, she's not doing some kind of scheme. We're very scheming like we always come over we're trying to trick you into making money just like i'll tell you funny jokes i'll be the fun guy in the corner and you're like all right i'll pay for that we're always that guy or we're killing you so we could see yeah or where we get killed, actually. Yeah. So we're thinking of famous crimes through history. Baby Lindbergh, the Lindbergh kidnapping. March 1st, 1932, the 20-month-old son of aviator Charles Lindbergh
Starting point is 00:37:35 was kidnapped from his home in Highfields, New Jersey. A homemade ladder was found under the window of the child's room for the next two and a half months. America and much of the world were revisited by riveted riveted by also revisited riveted and revisited by daily updates and speculation from the police search for baby charles suspicion spared no one not even the lindberghs in april news spread that a ransom had been paid but still no child was recovered finally in may the child's corpse was found by the side of the road not far from the Not even the Lindberghs in April knew spread that a ransom had been paid, but still no child was recovered. Finally, in May, the child's corpse was found by the side of the road, not far from the Lindberghs' home.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Baby Charles had been bludgeoned to death not long after he had been kidnapped. The resulting trial, sentencing and execution of German carpenter and ex-convict Bruno Richard Hauptmann for the crime, would extend the infamy of the case four more years. It was called the crime of the century. So they did for sure. Those are the guys that did it. Well, there's always people who speculate that it wasn't him. I think he denied it to the end, but there was some strong evidence because this is what's so crazy back then he sent uh ransom letters to them and i don't know if they just didn't get the police involved or not this is just what i looked up on here but uh another guy got involved and wrote an editorial in the paper said you should give the baby up and he's like well you bring me the money so a third party got involved and this guy brought him ransom money to a cemetery and gave it to him
Starting point is 00:39:07 can you imagine doing that now like it just wouldn't work yeah the police would be hiding they'd be all over you but it worked he gave him the ransom money and the guy did not give him the baby yeah and then later they found some of the ransom money on him there was a lot of evidence against the guy. Yeah. I mean, such a crazy. Yeah, I mean, I guess back then that was just such a shocking thing. For this guy. Steal it from a window.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Climbed in a window. How famous was Charles Lindbergh? I mean, I think back then it was, I don't even know what it would be equivalent to now. He was an avian? So he just flew planes and he was that famous? He was the first American to fly solo across the Atlantic. I think he was one of the most famous people in the world at that time. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And you, I mean, but would people know him more because of this kidnapping? That's all I know him for. Yeah. Really? Now, yeah. Yeah. So he would be like a Neil Armstrong type, like that sort of figure? Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Which back then is when that mattered. That's when flying was a new thing. Yeah. And so like that's when, and people actually, you know, now I don't, it's, you know, like social media, you know, like. Yeah, I was trying to think of an equivalent. No one now. You don't know. I mean, look, that guy that went to space, he's running for something.
Starting point is 00:40:26 He's bald heads. His name is Scott. He lived in space for a year. Oh, Scott Kelly? Yeah. Gabby Gifford's husband, right? Who has a twin brother? Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:36 He lived in space for a year. So, I mean, it has to be. It's either that guy or not. It's funny. You're like, I don't know. Was it a twin brother? You're like, he lived in space for a year, so it's either. Does he have a mole? Yeah. Well like, he lived in space for a year, so it's either. Does he have a mole?
Starting point is 00:40:45 Yeah. Well, he did live in space for a year. So unless your guy lived in space also for one year, I don't know for real. If you can't recognize him from the, he lived in space for one year. Oh, is he bald? He was a guy, I started following him on social media and uh i just remember he was like always out like he's always like doing stuff when he came back you could just i think just wanted to be around people yeah i think about like his family he's back with his family you're like
Starting point is 00:41:20 is it weird yeah they you know but he feels heavy yeah oh yeah because he's because he was in gravity because he was a big guy uh is that what you mean no kind of this is a fat joke uh yeah so i mean but i mean is that guy the most famous guy on the planet no not even close we just argued his he lived in space for a year. But if his kid had been kidnapped, maybe. No, I think Charles Lindbergh was way famous before this happened. Okay. I mean, we were so curious about stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:58 You got to think now we're not curious about any... It's like, what could you be curious about? Even if someone went to Mars and lived on it. I mean, we're in a world now you'd be like i'd keep an eye you know you maybe maybe catch it in the news it's pretty crazy yeah you just kind of we feel like we've done everything or someone has done everything i mean they are saying we have aliens and we don't care exactly and they're saying they're so until we talk to the alien like it's crazy it's crazy what's it gonna so back then that was i mean flying was changing the world yeah i don't know like now you're gonna change the world they're gonna come up with stuff to change the
Starting point is 00:42:38 world but it's gonna be like energy different and stuff that you're like i don't care about do i not go to the gas station anymore you're like no you don that you're like i don't care about you know do i not go to the gas station anymore you're like no you don't you're like okay all right yeah i'll go do something else uh you know you just get used to it another big famous uh family one uh patricia hearse granddaughter of newspaper magnate magnet yeah mag like a magnet. Newspaper magnet? Yeah. What is that? It's like a... I don't know what magnate means, but just call it a magnet. This is how you say it.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Is it magnate or magnet? I think it's magnet. Magnet. Okay. He's the granddaughter of a newspaper magnet. Any thoughts? He's the thing that holds your... he's the guy that invented the things that hold the newspaper clippings on a refrigerator uh oh so it has nothing to do with this you're
Starting point is 00:43:34 like no it was just he was the guy that you know he keeps all the pages you know you have an article you write and you want to have it on the refrigerator oh that's cool man yeah that was way off i'd have went into two different buildings looking for him i just had no i'm here for william randolph uh the guy that made the magnets the hung newspapers yeah you know you know him uh granddaughter newspaper magnet. I mean, it can't be magnet. Magnate? Oh, it's magnate. Let's just say tycoon. That's better.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Patricia Hearst, granddaughter of newspaper magnate, William Randolph Hearst, became the central character of one of the biggest news stories of the turbulent 1970s. It was shocking enough on february 4th 1974 when the 19 year old harris was kidnapped by a ratty band of bay area man that was a that was a run we were on uh that was kidnapped by a ratty band of bay area urban revolutionaries the simonese national National Liberation Army, who demanded as ransom that her father feed all the hungry in California. Wow.
Starting point is 00:45:03 But then just over two months later, she was seen on camera assisting them in a bank robbery. Soon enough, the kidnapped victim had an arrest warrant of her own. It would be nearly a year and a half before she was captured. Despite the defense's strategy of brainwashing, her two-month trial in 1976 led to a seven-year sentence. It was later commuted by then-President Jimmy Carter, and she served only 22 months.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Bill Clinton granted her a full pardon on the day he left office. Hearst is now 66. That's wild. We have Hearst here right now. Hearst. Patricia Hearst, what's up with all the big words in your family? Patricia, let's cut to the chase here. Is your dad,
Starting point is 00:45:45 did he do anything with magnets? At all. That's all we want to know. Did you have magnets? Were magnets invented when you were growing up? Do you remember the baby Charles Lindbergh? How do you know Charles Lindbergh?
Starting point is 00:46:02 Hey, Patricia, how do you know? Charles Lindbergh ring a bell you know Charles Lindbergh? Hey, Patricia. How do you know? Charles Lindbergh ring a bell? What do you know him from? Do you know him from his aviating, or do you know him from his kid that was kidnapped? There's a movie about this, right? I think so. If not, there should be.
Starting point is 00:46:19 I knew nothing about that story. That's pretty crazy. She's been in a few shows, too. I'd heard the name. It's one of those names that's part of the yeah zeitgeist yeah uh yeah she's it's i mean so she was she wrote it yeah this must have been a huge story yeah i mean what what a fun you know they're not a fun story but i mean this is kind of fun story yeah it's kind of fun everybody like if you're fun it is fun like if you're i mean imagine the same i mean just all like how wrapped up you
Starting point is 00:46:49 would be in it how crazy it would be you know like we i'm gonna kind of jump ahead but like it's like those famous stories it's that you get wrapped up in yeah or you know i started watching i went through some of them because I had someone talk about the, the like tabloid cases. Like that Patty Harris one had to be a gigantic. Yeah. I mean, like just wall-to-wall coverage, you know, like just what's going on.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Because I mean, they thought she was kidnapped first and then she's a part of it. Yeah. And then she just wants to feed, father feed all the hungry in California. I read that they, her father gave like
Starting point is 00:47:28 two million dollars to some hunger organization. I mean, just you have so much money. Yeah. God, there was a movie, what movie was it?
Starting point is 00:47:37 I think there's been a few miniseries and stuff. I don't think there's one movie that like is well known. Like I remember the biggest fabloid that i remember uh holloway natalie holloway that one was i remember seeing that happen and i remember following it and i always trying to keep up with which one was that natalie she aruba she was a high school yeah kid right yeah and then they were on a trip and then she
Starting point is 00:48:07 met vander sleuth that guy and then you know that that guy got away with it and then that guy killed someone else at another in another country really oh yeah that was a great patrice o'neill he opens his special and he goes remember natalie holloway talking about like the media only cares about white girls and uh he goes what was his name and everybody's like nat Natalie Holloway? Talking about like the media only cares about white girls. And he goes, what was her name? And everybody's like, Natalie Holloway. Everybody's like,
Starting point is 00:48:28 yeah, yeah. And then that VanderSoot just killed that other girl. And he goes, and then that VanderSoot killed another girl. He's like, I can't, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:36 and she was like another country. I mean, I don't remember now. And he goes, what was her name? And everybody goes, ah.
Starting point is 00:48:41 And he goes, exactly. And it's very funny because the way he's leading into it you're like yeah that's right you know that he did it again and you're and he goes well what's her name he goes uh exactly like uh but it's yeah i mean i followed that story a lot i mean that was so great i mean these are heart you know heart-wrenching stories and seeing all this other stuff i mean you know it's like casey anthony was i watched her you know i remember all that my mom is obsessed with these i think this is a very your mom your mom loves most moms love this nancy grace
Starting point is 00:49:17 and all those oh yeah they love that stuff and i mean i everybody loves it but they can get wrapped up into it and you know casey anthony that whole i mean god that was nuts i watched that you know there's great stuff on hulu you can usually see where they kind of because you kind of forget you know it's easy to forget that how big the story was yeah and then how much media coverage it is i mean these people go from nobodies to the most famous people on earth yeah and people are investigating i mean they're just they can't do anything everything that they do in public gets just scrutinized you know like why did they do that why did they say that i mean case andy like there's all this stuff they called her she called the nanny zany and so that's zany is the slang for uh zan or what's the drug xanax yeah so zany
Starting point is 00:50:14 so they think that she was like oh where's she at she's like oh she's with zany the nanny and so like she was saying that there was this nanny that would watch Kaylee Anthony, right? Yeah. Her daughter. Yeah. And then would watch her, and then she would be... So then they were like, well, Zanny's a... Because Casey Anthony's doing all these drugs.
Starting point is 00:50:37 And so she thinks she would give her Zanny as her kid to put her to sleep so she didn't have to watch it. Do you think she did it, dude? Yeah. Yeah. Are there any of these cases that you follow that you don't think they did it? Or you question? Yeah, I mean, Casey Anthony, I think she killed her. I could see that idea. She killed her daughter some accidentally way,
Starting point is 00:50:57 and then it exploded from there, and she tried to fix it. Amanda Knox. God, maybe Amanda Knox. i watched her amanda knox it's interesting i was gonna ask you about this some of these cases you only really remember the first part of it like the amanda knox she was acquitted and it's it's it's pretty much accepted she had nothing to do with what happened yeah but people only remember the first it's like the duke lacrosse kids yes so many people don don't remember that the Duke lacrosse kids were totally exonerated. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Right. From everything. But you only remember the first part of the story. Amanda Knox is one of those. Yeah. You know? Yeah. What is she,
Starting point is 00:51:35 her roommate, right? Or something? Yeah. She was a college student studying abroad and her, I think her roommate or somebody she was staying with was murdered. She was blamed, her and her boyfriend. her roommate or somebody she was staying with was murdered she was blamed her and her boyfriend yeah and um yeah then it came out that it was just it was a some random
Starting point is 00:51:50 dude yeah yeah broken in yeah yeah i mean you're usually you know they usually say you're gonna be killed by someone you know scott peterson i had someone uh kfc uh kevin at barstool he went on a big thing about scott peterson and i thought i still don't agree with him and then he got like he got me into like i was like well let me watch you know because i was like i don't remember i know scott peterson obviously but i i wasn't watching these things just you know wall-to-wall coverage and they uh and so i watched scott peterson because he's like maybe he didn't do it and all this stuff and then when you watch it i most things i watched uh making him making a murder right when you watch that if you watch everything with idea that you know you're like what are they
Starting point is 00:52:37 not showing me yeah they have to not be showing me something and with scott peterson i mean he goes to the this weird he goes to the place where they found her body he had a boat he goes fishing the day she goes mission at that lake there's a lot of you're like well what's he doing out there it's when you're trying to really convince you that he didn't do it that's when there's a problem when you're they're trying to overly be like yeah but I mean just because he was out that boat doesn't mean you know you're really trying to convince someone yeah that he's innocent. Then you're like, well, now I don't really believe it because you're really having to work hard.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I would think with a lot of these big cases, at least, it's pretty obvious. You know, if he didn't do it, it'd be pretty obvious. And then he would scream from the towers that he didn't do it. And he was like, he was calling, he had another girlfriend. I mean, the craziest thing, there was a robbery across the street that same day from that house. Which is, I mean, talk about a neighborhood. You're like, what goes on in your neighborhood? How's the crime in your neighborhood?
Starting point is 00:53:37 How is it? I mean, you got a robbery over here, murder over here. I mean, a lot going on. Are you here for the crime? Like, that would be a neighborhood you're like, I would like to move in more crime neighborhood. robbery over here murder over here i mean a lot going on are you here for the crime like that's that would be a neighborhood you're like i would like to move in more crime neighborhood you're like do we have the neighborhood for you scott peterson happened there robbery over there did they get together and do it together no two separate things happening at the same time
Starting point is 00:54:00 the mendez brothers i haven't watched i want to watch that i don't really remember that at all i'd be very curious about that there's a documentary on netflix so i'm actually gonna go watch that jody arias i remember i watched her uh kind of thing it's oh it's on hulu it's like you'll break down like a story you i want to watch the big you know the big media covered she was just a crazy person jodyodi was. And what'd she do? She killed, the guy was Mormon and she dated him
Starting point is 00:54:30 and he lived in Utah and then she, I think they broke up and he had two roommates and then they broke up and then she kind of showed back up and then it was, and then she left and she she killed him in a shower.
Starting point is 00:54:55 And he was just dead for two days before I think anybody realized it because they were supposed to go on a trip. He was going to go on a trip, and it didn't happen, and then they found. But I mean, the roommates, because then everybody's like, well, the roommates, how do you know? Because that's what everybody does. They go, how do you not notice a dead body in your house? But the roommates are like, I don't know. We didn't go in his room, man. Like, you know, where you're like, I don't know. He's working.
Starting point is 00:55:14 He leaves early. And, you know, I mean, I think you can easily, as your roommates, be like, you just don't cross paths. Yeah, I've lived with my old roommate. There's just a whole half of the house I would never, never go over there. So he could, he could have been there for weeks dead before I'd noticed. Yeah. You'd have to start smelling it and then you look really bad. Right. But yeah, you're just like, yeah, man, I didn't go, you know, it was like your roommates. I mean, yeah, you probably would, you cross paths. Yeah. Every now and then. You watch TV together.
Starting point is 00:55:44 roommates i mean yeah you probably would you cross paths yeah every now and you watch tv together i mean i always had roommates that were my friend i never was into the i never got into the you have the room you know people have roommates that they don't even know yeah and like so it got very much the longer you do that but you know yeah there'd be days where you could not do it. But, yeah, she was crazy. I don't know Susan Smith. She's the one that drowned her kids. Oh, that stuff. Drove the car, like, in the water. Yeah, that's nuts, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:14 That stuff's brutal. Just brutal, man. I hate it because you have a kid. It's just, you know, kids are so innocent, and they just obviously don't deserve any of this. Let's lighten it up a little bit. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:56:29 All right. Let's go. Oh, this kid murdered his parents. All right. So, it's just got to be fun. Yeah. Let's just try to be fun. The D.B. Cooper plane hijacking.
Starting point is 00:56:41 We're just, I mean, obviously, we go into this, maybe some crimes. This is all stemming off two films. Oh, man. Let me pick some. DB Cooper plane hijacking. I can give you the highlights if you'd like. Yeah, give the highlights.
Starting point is 00:57:00 In 1971, this guy told the flight attendant, he was on a flight in the Pacific Northwest. He told the flight attendant he had a bomb. He lifted the briefcase, showed her he had what appeared to be a bomb. Did she ask what his source was on the bomb? That's what she said. Who's your source?
Starting point is 00:57:20 I'd like to see some sources on, at least show me more that's connected. Well, you know, the funny thing is, I read it. He handed her a note, and she just assumed it was a guy hitting on her, and she just put it in her purse. And then he was like, ma'am, you might want to read that note. And then she read it, and it was like, I have a bomb. But isn't that funny? That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:57:42 It must have been so common. I mean, dude. Yeah. He goes, she's like oh and then she puts it in her purse and then he's like he's gonna ring the bell again and then she comes back and he's like i mean could you read the note and she's like oh and then he's just like he's just keeping a like a look at her just like and then she goes and she's still not gonna read it and then she looks back at him he's like like he's doing that like that's what he's having i mean he thinks it's gonna be this
Starting point is 00:58:13 cool yeah yeah i have a bomb he's like i do have a bomb he stands up everybody's scared and having to be just i know and she's like let me just give a couple drinks and he goes okay and then he has to let him get the and then she does a couple drinks another note probably from another guy he's like oh and then he's like no no don't now you're gonna be confused she reads that you read that note first and then he sits finally just and he goes i bomb she looks and he goes yeah i told you yeah yeah yeah a little different maybe don't be so judgmental and think every guy's hidden on your sweetheart i mean the deficit sweetheart back then hey sweet maybe don't think everybody's hidden on you all right i don't think you're that hot anyway to begin with. Anyway, I have a bomb. Back to my bomb stuff.
Starting point is 00:59:07 So he shot her the bomb, and they land the plane. He forces them to land the plane somewhere. They announce to the passengers that there was a maintenance issue or something, and they get him his ransom money. I mean, you think he's even going, there's a maintenance issue? And he's like, I hear there's a bomb. He's like starting the rumor going.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Don't quote me, but I'm hearing some other people. I was up front earlier to the bathroom. I think it's a bomb. And he said he lowered his shade. He didn't say this, but they said he lowered his shade to keep from a sniper taking him out while they're in the tarmac. Is he in a window seat? He's doing this from
Starting point is 00:59:50 a window seat? Apparently. Wow. I think he'd want to be loose. I feel more in control of the situation in an aisle seat. Maybe back then. I'd be in first class, too. He had to pass the note across somebody else to the stewardess. Excuse me, can I? Sorry. Could you give her this?
Starting point is 01:00:05 Yeah. Could you hand her this note? Could you? Yeah. That's funny. And then he showed her the bomb. She had to lean over a person in the aisle seat. What's that?
Starting point is 01:00:16 He's asleep. Just the guy in the middle. Did he actually have a bomb on the plane? I'm not sure. But they got him his ransom money. The flight takes back off and uh he has a parachute and he straps on the picture oh i think they got everyone off the plane except him and then the flight takes off and he jumps from the plane and uh never found so body i think for some
Starting point is 01:00:43 reason i feel like they they well what's crazy is like they got everybody off the plane then it kind of but I guess the pilot so they don't want the pilot
Starting point is 01:00:53 to die so yeah the pilot just said they could tell from the air pressure in the back like you know what's going on
Starting point is 01:01:01 and they could tell that a door was opened and then they finally feel comfortable enough like let's going on and they could tell that a door was opened and then they finally feel comfortable enough like let's go look and he's gone and they never found his body they found a few of the bills scattered i think over the years but no one still knows who he is it was a fake name they don't even know the identity of the guy um so it's a kind of a crazy story never gonna know i mean that's what's crazy is you're never you know you're never gonna know yeah there's like a few suspects that they
Starting point is 01:01:31 think maybe but most of them are dead now do they know how old this guy looked back then because this is 1971 i'm wondering what what are the chances this guy's still alive i think they thought he was in his 40s okay so probably not yeah he'd be in his he'd be in his 90s yeah maybe 90s by now yeah super how much money was it i feel like it was like 200 000 yeah you think you got a yeah he stored a 200 000 equivalent to 1 million 260 over a million i mean they always say that was equivalent i, I guess, for then. But then 2000, does his money go up? Everybody says, well, today, like Paul Escobar, we talked about that was the equivalent of. But it's not that money.
Starting point is 01:02:16 So now, it doesn't mean you hit, or does it mean you hit 2000? I think it means 200,000 had the spending power that 1.2 million has today. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I never wrap my head around why people always said that. You just explained it. Good job, Aaron.
Starting point is 01:02:34 I think. I have no idea if that's true. No, I think that's it. That's what I've always thought of. I think that's it. Yeah. That's a good way to think of it. Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I mean, you know. That's a pretty crazy story. Dude, is a million dollars worth do i just think is it worth doing that for i mean you gotta think a million dollars is a lot and so if you're someone that doesn't have a regular say this guy's making ten thousand dollars a year i mean he's like he can go live forever. He just, I mean, he probably is alone. Probably just stayed on his own. Went and just bought a, you know, wherever he jumped out of. And then just eventually got, no one knew who he was.
Starting point is 01:03:17 That girl, you know. They said there was a lot of copycats after that that were not successful. But other people tried it. Yeah. You just got gotta think best case scenario he has a million dollars but he has to live the rest of his life in hiding that's best but not really they don't know him i mean who like so no one ever saw him right then it seems like the fbi none of them ever saw him i mean they have a description just
Starting point is 01:03:40 from the flight attendant yes so they have description of the flight attendant. You know, most people look basically all the same anyway. So unless you have two thumbs, some weird thing, he's going to just kind of blend in. They have no cameras. Like, they just... At what point do they even just give up and go, he did it. He got away.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Yeah. Like, you know, did they ever try to... Well, it says the FBI suspended the investigation in 2016. So in 2016, they finally go, that's enough. We're done. And I mean, some guy's in an office and he's been there since 1971. And he's like, what's that? Suspended.
Starting point is 01:04:23 I was so close. I was... I was right there there i think i got him feel it think about how lax though the airport must have been then if you had a fake id and a bomb on you and you get away with it yeah i've only flown in a post 9-11 world so i it's just the idea of a guy with a fake name yeah like getting onto a plane like that and they don't know anything about him is crazy to me yeah i i remember uh flying before 9-11 when i was supposed to go on a trip and i was using another buddy's ticket and i went and used his id really try to get on the plane and they were i think they were like we need to see a social security card too for some reason because i think they probably were like this doesn't look that good but i remember you thought it was okay to try what happened
Starting point is 01:05:18 i i i was gonna have i was gonna need him to give me a social security card too. And it just didn't work. I was at the airport trying it. Wow. Because the guy couldn't go. And so he couldn't go. And then so he was like, I was like, I can just use the ticket. And then I'll just use your ID. And then.
Starting point is 01:05:41 You'd be arrested now, right? Huh? Wouldn't you probably be arrested now? Oh, yeah. I mean, you might have been arrested then yeah but it was just definitely easier to do i mean it just you didn't even think it was that stupid to try yeah it sounds so absurd it's like trying to use a fake idea to bar i mean you just were like oh yeah i was just trying yeah yeah it was my buddy's ticket i thought i could go because you couldn't transfer the ticket over yeah uh you know so yeah i mean you just were like oh yeah i was just trying yeah yeah it was my buddy's ticket i thought i could go because you couldn't transfer the ticket over yeah uh you know so yeah i mean you just didn't you thought it was okay to even give it a go that's crazy i mean there's no security i
Starting point is 01:06:16 mean you just walk right up to the gate back yeah you'd walk up everybody yeah you'd walk everybody to the gate i don't think i think anybody could go to the gate. Crazy. Yeah, back then when you got off the plane, they could be waiting for you right there when you get off. Yeah. Simpler time. Simpler, simpler time.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Let's just do another fun one, the Brinks job. The $2.75 million, $29.5 million today, see? Mm-hmm. Theft at the Brinks headquarters in Boston, 1950, was then the largest robbery in the history of the United States and remained so until 1984. The robbery, skillfully executed with few clues left at the crime scene, was billed as the crime of the century. But it wasn't the other thing, the crime of the century? Yeah, wasn't it? It was as the crime of the century but it wasn't the other thing the crime
Starting point is 01:07:06 of the century yeah wasn't it it was called the crime of the century well so yeah they revised it they didn't know that shows you that people forget 1932 someone already about 1950 this is the crime of the century like 18 years uh charles limberg's got a little something to say about that and and they go who's that The guy with the baby? He's like, what was his job? He flew, I think. Flew planes. He's a pilot or something for American Airlines.
Starting point is 01:07:34 They knock it down to that. I don't know. He's a pilot for Southwest, I think. He gets Charles Lindbergh. Just kidding. I was the first one to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. You're like, oh. Which ocean is that? Which side is that on?
Starting point is 01:07:47 No one's impressed. So the robbery skillfully executed with few clues left to the crime scene was billed as a central crime of the century. It was the work of an 11-member gang, all of whom were later arrested. The planning and practice had a military intensity to them. The attention to detail, including the close approximation of the uniforms of the Brinks guards, was near genius. To this day, no one has found the money. What's the bigger crime?
Starting point is 01:08:17 Do you know that? What do you mean? This was the largest robbery in the history of the United States until 1984. Can you look up that uh yeah i mean that's you know that's a real deal these are the crimes that i feel like this is the crime you want if there's crime you don't want senseless you don't want these lunatic killing our kids right you don't want these those people they're the worst people like this is a crime you're like no one dies it's just the guy jumping out of the plane yeah like that's the You don't want those people. They're the worst people. This is a crime.
Starting point is 01:08:45 You're like, no one dies. It's just the guy jumping out of the plane. That's the crime. That's the evil you want to live with the world. And the fact that it's a guy that you're like, a lot of people could root for. Yeah. These guys did it with class.
Starting point is 01:09:00 A little mafia. Mafia's got a little bit of that where there, there's a little, like, you know, they don't, it's not with the families, you don't do it at, you know, like, I'm watching The Irishman, and, you know, I don't get, but they talk about killing someone where they go, you know, and they did it in front of the guy's family on purpose, though, because he does it
Starting point is 01:09:23 in front of people's family. That was the idea behind that was purpose though, because he does it in front of people's family is that was the idea behind that was, well, his family should see it because he does his killings in front of, so they gave what he wants. Normally you would never do it in front of the family was there. You wouldn't do it.
Starting point is 01:09:36 And there's a, they have ethics. Yeah. There's a, there, you know, I mean, I look,
Starting point is 01:09:41 it's, it's complete psychos that are killing people. Yeah. But there's a system to it. I'm watching. I was going back to John Wick. I've never really watched John Wick. I watched the first one, and so I'm going to watch the second,
Starting point is 01:09:57 third one tonight, or just second one tonight. And just like my Mission Impossible, I'm going to always keep you guys, the listeners listeners updated on i was looking at the camera i don't think everybody ever it's cameras not on uh there's i uh so john wick they have a hotel right have you seen john wick no i haven't they have a hotel that all uh that assassins go to and nothing's supposed to happen in this hotel. Like it's the one place an assassin, because all these, this group of assassins,
Starting point is 01:10:28 they could all be trying to, they always feel like they're going to get killed if they leave. So, but in the hotel, it's supposed to be, you can drink, you can relax. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Safe space from the, yeah. Safe space. And so I feel like the mafia had that kind of thing. Like they had, you know, you didn't do stuff to the family. You didn't do this. You know, there was such a respect to the family. And then most of the crime until drugs came involved were this kind of crime.
Starting point is 01:10:57 It was robbing Brinks or it was, you know, jumping. You know, it's very just trying to scan the system, not paying the taxes in a certain way. Yeah. Stuff that guys could truly get behind. Guys that were, you know, like you could be, if you're a blue collar worker, you're like, you're like, good for them, man. Go. Like, yeah, they just, you know, you're rooting for them. Stick it to them.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Stick it to them. You know, and they would loan money out. You know, they, so I so i yeah the mafia was it seems like it's you know i i don't think it's that bad you know i would join you know it's uh no but then and then drugs came involved and then it just got more ruthless i mean money just got crazier and i mean that's when the cartel came and stuff like that i also looked up too like could you hire after watching john wick i was like could you hire an assassin and uh i mean there's real answers to like we're in quero quero how do you say that quero q-u-a-r uh quora quora that's how i would say yeah that you
Starting point is 01:11:59 ask questions yeah uh you can ask questions and they give you the answer and so i looked up can you hire an assassin and like you can you can hire them on the dark web i was reading a thread about it yeah yeah but they don't it's you're you're more than likely we'll get it's it's this you're going to get caught then you're actually going to get to an assassin oh yeah like they i looked up to like it's it says like you know what do you want? Five grand, straight killing? Do you want us to, crippling? Do you want to cripple them? Do you want to make them blind forever?
Starting point is 01:12:30 There's different, we'll do whatever you want to go do. But a lot of that stuff's police. And then they arrest, more than you probably realize, they arrest more people. But it was funny, someone was like, how can I be an assassin? If one of them wanted to be an assassin, know someone they're like look it's murder it's not you know obviously if you can get past all that and then here's the way you should do it and then like would it go into like you need a military background you need to be trained you need to be
Starting point is 01:12:57 you could be asked to do all this because like just like it's a someone's really you know you got to go meet probably like if you're gonna be hit man in the mafia you gotta go meet the guy you'd be nice to him you say this is what i want to do he goes and then once you open that door someone even said you got to realize that once you say i want to be hitman there's a chance you're going to have a guy come try to kill you and then you got to kill that guy to then get that job so when you always got to then so once you go open the door of saying i want to be a hitman you go meet someone that would hire hitman now it's on the table that you will actively have possibly then the guy goes well maybe i may not i don't have that good of hitman maybe you got a hitman you're like i'm thinking
Starting point is 01:13:44 about mixing it up a little you're like you know i don't i think good of a hitman. Maybe you got a hitman and you're like, I'm thinking about mixing it up a little. I think he's getting too comfortable. I think he's a little sloppier. He's phoning it in. So they go, we got a hitman. So if you kill their hitman, then you go. So if you ever, so the listeners at home, if you ever have a hitman come after you, say you don't want to be a hitman, but if you ever so the listeners at home if you ever have hitman come after you saying you don't
Starting point is 01:14:06 say you don't want to be hitman but if you ever hitman assassin come after you if you can kill him then you got a new job if you are whether you like it whether you like it or not if you kill the assassin you live a different life. Are you concerned at all that there's going to be a crime and you've got on your computer Googling how to hire an assassin? No, not at all. It was on Cura. But you Googled it, right?
Starting point is 01:14:39 Yeah, I mean, I was Googling, like, is assassins, are they real? Is it a real thing? Like, is it, you know, you always see assassins, and someone's like a real thing like is it you know you always see assassins and someone's like yeah it's not as cool as like movies and stuff it's straight up usually they try to do it it's a grind the guys that are good so it is that's a lot of waiting it's every day it's like what do you do i'm an assassin no that's pretty interesting it's like they go they do maybe two a year yeah and most are they're trying to make it look as natural as possible you know they're not it's not like you're just sniping a guy off a roof you're trying to poison
Starting point is 01:15:12 them you're trying to you know they study them and it's a lot of paperwork it's you know yeah it's just you know yeah we romanticize it but it's not as good as it you know i think you're not like the Iceman. Right. Like that guy was a true hit man. You ever watch his interview? Somebody just told me about him. He would like spray something on you
Starting point is 01:15:31 and you'd die away later? No. Like on the back of your neck? He was in the mafia. Iceman killed people. He loved killing people. Yeah. And would do it randomly.
Starting point is 01:15:41 I mean, he had a family and stuff and just would live a normal family life. But then, I mean, that's like someone that when they go to the wife, like, did you know he was killing all these people it randomly i mean he had a family and stuff and just would live a normal family life but then i mean that's like someone that when they go to the wife like did you know he was killing all these people and you you're like once you say it i mean like now it makes sense yeah like exactly but no they can't wrap their head around that but yeah i mean there he was a mafia he enjoyed
Starting point is 01:15:59 killing people so he did kind of that i this is my thing i want to do it why not go get paid to do it i mean he killed his kids cut him i mean he would like i mean he was like working his craft and he would there's i mean you watch the thing on hbo they interviewed him and he just talked like i mean kids like cut him off and he followed him and then killed him like you know just dumb kids just killed them all like at christmas time wasn't he like assembling something yeah and he followed them and then killed them. Like, you know, just dumb kids. Just killed them all. Like at Christmas time, wasn't he like assembling something
Starting point is 01:16:28 and he would leave, go do a killing and come back on Christmas day? Yeah. Yeah. Got a lot of people. So, all right.
Starting point is 01:16:35 Did you find the... Not the one from 1984. I mean, there's a lot of them on here. But maybe it's been passed. Well, maybe so. I just, I can't find one from 1984. It's just a bunch of different ones.
Starting point is 01:16:44 I was going to say The Brink's job though i think like the town movies like that are based on the brink's job yeah sounds great maybe yeah i don't i don't have it so just yeah just what's one of them go to number one uh the central bank of all right all right what's it called go back up the central The Central Bank of... All right. All right. Wow. What's it called? Go back up. The Central Bank of Iraq Robbery.
Starting point is 01:17:08 Yeah, just let me... Central Bank of Iraq Robbery. Another robbery in Baghdad became the largest... I've been to Baghdad. Became the largest bank heist in history. The mastermind was none other than Iraq dictator Saddam Hussein.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Well, that's... I mean, this is like an inside job. I know uh one day before the iraq war began in 2003 he sent three large trucks to the bank he sent his son uh quasi with a is it quasi qc qc i would have skipped it i think it's qc he also sent his son jonathan which is uh with a handwritten note asking to withdraw nearly one billion dollars
Starting point is 01:17:47 a cubic from enemy hands. The money was loaded to the van. Most of the cash was covered in in raids but it doesn't inhere.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Tasked with counting the illicit loot American soldiers made off with hundreds of thousand dollars for themselves and their families. 35 service members
Starting point is 01:18:04 were caught. I mean, let them have it. I've been to both of their houses. Yeah, you've told us that. Yeah, QSA. Let's go above that and see if there's... A good one? An American one?
Starting point is 01:18:18 Yeah, Q. Yeah, is this... Does it seem like that's American? No, that's in Baghdad. That's in Baghdad, too. Baghdad, a hot spot for bank robberies. Knights Bridge. That doesn't seem like London.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Britain. We've got to get America back up to number one here. Brazil. I mean, there's the Brinks shop, right? So the Brinks shop. So that's it. Oh, no, that's a different one. That's in London.
Starting point is 01:18:41 That's a different one. Brinks is getting after it. I know. North Ireland. I mean. Is there an American on here? Lebanon? Hey, that's where you're from.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Yeah. Lebanon, Tennessee. Here we are. Here we are. All right. So the United California Bank Ice. In 1972, mid... Golly, man.
Starting point is 01:19:02 There's not a Bill Smith rob a bank? Is there not a bill smith rob a bank is there not a anthony dennis like just a normal my name is bill jones i'm one of the biggest bank robbers of you thank you emil denisio a professional criminal from ohio assembled a gang of six robbers and flew them to california they rented a townhouse and planned a heist on a bank where they had Yeah. after meticulously scrubbing down the townhouse. Why would they scrub down? Because they don't want fingerprints. Yeah. The cops eventually identified the robbers through a generous tip they'd given a taxi driver
Starting point is 01:19:54 and through fingerprints found on the inside of the town's home dishwasher. So basically, you just had not, back then, and they sold $30 million. So basically, back then, you just had not, back then, and they sold $30 million. So basically, back then, you just had not, you just didn't have to get noticed. Like, they can, once they got you, they can do the fingerprint thing to figure you out. But if you just don't get seen and don't do anything around it, I mean, you could, I mean, it wasn't a big deal.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Your only threat was the actual guarding of the thing that you're trying to get. Yeah. So the threat is to get on that train and to get the stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:33 That's the only, that was really the only threat. They don't go around a taxi driver. You know, they don't tip them some stupid amount.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Yeah. They don't do something weird. Well, I don't know how they found the town home it's good that they were well the generous but a generous tip from the taxidermist the tax goes why had these three guys and then they you just you're then you can start asking questions
Starting point is 01:20:55 oh they just flew to whatever i'm sure they'd buy a ticket the guys bought it you know it's like you just you're able to eventually be a detective and detect from there. But all you need is another door to open, and that door opens, you start asking questions around that door. But how crazy, you scrub down the townhouse, and then they're like, hey, did you get in the dishwasher? No, man, I ran the dishwasher. That will take care of the fingerprints.
Starting point is 01:21:19 Are you sure? Inside of the townhome's dishwasher. Wow. If, you know, what if we were a heist? Us three. Three of us? Three of us. It wouldn't go well.
Starting point is 01:21:36 I mean. Yeah. What would we be? Who would be the mastermind? I think I'd be the mastermind. Yeah, I would be the mastermind i mean i think i'd be the mastermind yeah i would be the diversion guy i would like block security cameras you know i could be you could take out two at the same time he would be he would be a little more technical guy i'd be the look i'd dress up as a ups guy and just I don't know, hold a balloon in front of a security camera, that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 01:22:06 Yeah. I'm not, I, I, you know, I don't think I'd want to take the lead of a heist, but I think with us, I would have to take the lead.
Starting point is 01:22:16 I would think with our, the best, I would prefer to get a crew that I could maybe rely on someone else just because it's, I'm such new to this, but if this is the only crew I got, I think I'm taking control of it. I think you would – somebody would be standing too close to you at the back of the line.
Starting point is 01:22:32 You'd blow it before you even started. You'd start yelling at them. I don't think so. I don't think – I definitely don't think you would be at the scene of the crime. No, I'd be the getaway driver. I'm a good driver. I know. Are you a good driver?
Starting point is 01:22:42 No. No. I'm safe 10 and 2. You'd be yelling at people. I would – Get out of the way. I'm a good driver. No. Are you a good driver? No. No. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm safe 10 and 2. You'd be yelling at people. I would. Get out of the way. No, but we would run out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:52 And then you would be like, I got to let the car warm up. And then we would sit. You have no sense of urgency. So you would be a lot of, I'm getting over when I can. And it's like, but- You don't make a scene. You got to make a scene to get out, to leave. You got to make the scene.
Starting point is 01:23:13 I would be driving to get us out. And then I would be like, now you take over and drive. So now we look, we blend in more. But you would get us caught because you would, you'd be like, I got to follow the laws. Yeah. There's a, there's a red light. And I'm like, I know. So who's the getaway driver? You? I think I'm doing a lot. Okay. I'll be honest.
Starting point is 01:23:36 I was going to say, if you're the getaway driver, then Brian is like the George Clooney of our organization. I think I, yeah, he's, I think he's back at the, I think he's back at the house. Cleaning? Cleaning it. Getting snacks ready for us when we get back because I think we'll be hungry. Getting water for everyone. I want some cookies.
Starting point is 01:23:56 I think we should do some cake. I think we should celebrate. I want the same house. That's all I get to do? Yeah, I think I want you back there and get the room. I want to make sure that no one's poking around while we are gone. And you could be like, well, I talked to this old lady for quite a while. While riding when the heist was going on.
Starting point is 01:24:18 I think you're there. I don't think I can have you. You come home, the door's locked. Just open it up. Yeah, I don't think I can have you You come home, the door's locked Just open it up Yeah, I don't think I can risk having you No You can't be there I would be the only reason you guys wouldn't get caught
Starting point is 01:24:33 No, you'd be the absolute You would Something you'd get in the way It would be, I can't have you driving I can't have you in there Trying to jam money in And you're i can't have you in there what are you trying to jam money in and you're just like and you're fumbling it you drop the bag and you grab the wrong bag i mean i'm i'm doing the whole thing man yeah i think i you know i think it's me and aaron
Starting point is 01:24:57 carrying a balloon something i would trust it he's doing because people die from balloons? I could set a diversion. I'll do something. We don't want a diversion. Hey, there's nothing wrong with having the house that we got to fuck to, the safe house, to be in order. There's nothing that's not crazy, dude. That's a job that has to be done. Someone's got to do it. Be the guy that does the job where it keeps the house in order.
Starting point is 01:25:26 Are we splitting the money equally? Yeah. I think we will. Yes. Look, I'm a very generous guy, so I do want to always split everything equally. But I think me and Aaron would eventually be upset about that. Yeah. I think it would grow.
Starting point is 01:25:40 It would grow to resent you. We'd grow to be like, I mean, he made the bands. You think he really? I don't know who says it first. I think maybe Aaron says it to me first. It's kind of crazy. I mean, look, he ordered pizza. Pizza was there. It was hot.
Starting point is 01:25:56 I had my soda that I like. I get it, dude. I'm not saying we don't need the guy. I get why the guy's there. Do I think he deserves? He has zero risk. Say we get caught. He's just a guy living in a house.
Starting point is 01:26:10 And he fits the, you know, it's going to be like, oh, you live alone, sir? Everybody thinks, obviously, he lives alone. He fits the description of when the cops go knock on the door. You live alone? They go, so you live alone? They say it first to him. So you live alone here, sir? You're like, well, I didn't say that. And you go, oh, I'm just saying knock on the door. You live alone? They go, so you live alone? They say it first to him. So you live alone here, sir? You're like, well, I didn't say that.
Starting point is 01:26:28 And you go, oh, I'm just saying what you're wearing. I thought you lived alone. All right, you're making some good points. What would be your mastermind, though? What would you do? What's the robbery? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:26:43 I don't know. I mean, it's going to be stealing money. I don't want to kill to kill anybody so you want to be it's got to be some kind of it's got to be that kind of crime where you're stealing some money like that i feel like you could you wouldn't do a museum that's a lot that's a lot you can do a lot of research you would have to find you try to find something that's i would i would definitely go to a smaller town, and you try to go somewhere that's a little backwards, don't have all the technology that you would expect, and you go do something like that. That's where I'd fit in.
Starting point is 01:27:12 I mean, that's like, what's that movie? They do that, they go robbing banks in these small towns. Hell or High Water? Yeah, great movie. Yeah, it is great movie. And they go to these small banks where it's, they, you know. They go to these small banks where it's – you do fit in there, but I just can't run the risk of you – you got to be running in and out.
Starting point is 01:27:34 You got to be – I said the getaway car. I know, but we need speed. Not if the plan is good. Hey, the plan involves speed. There's no way that you're going to have such a great plan is good. Hey, the plan involves speed. There's no way that you're going to have such a great plan that you're like, so we walk outside, we sit for 15 minutes as the car warms up, and you do, like, there's all, you know. I feel like, I mean, is it gassed up?
Starting point is 01:27:55 And you're going to be like, I mean, that's what I think is going to happen. Is the car gassed up? You're like, we just need to stop real fast. And then we would after yeah after we would do the robbery we would immediately be getting gas no i'd be getting gas while you guys are in there yeah oh it's only empty i think i got time i mean you would be posting on facebook hey guys what any questions i'm saying that's what you're posting on i don't know you're just on facebook posting something hey guys hanging out with everybody today.
Starting point is 01:28:26 I'm just saying. He goes live with three people. A steadily cop. There's nothing to be ashamed of having that house ready. That's a respectable job. Respectable job. All right. Let's do this. speaking of dumb criminals let's go through some of these
Starting point is 01:28:51 thieves use blowtorch to break into atm accidentally set cash on fire that's on me i'm bringing you into the picture walmart brought back greeters in 2015 to combat theft. After reporting it, it loses about 1% of its U.S. revenue, or $3 billion a year, to stealing by customers and employees. So that's why the greeters are back at Walmart. Yeah, I thought that was interesting. As they tell you, they're there for customer service,
Starting point is 01:29:22 but they're 100% there to deter shoplifting. And it seems to work. Believe it or not, just putting old people out there seems to help that. It seems to, yeah. It's just another thing. You just don't want, you got to look at who's going to be the problem. And if you just have enough poking around yeah you got to do someone else you always got to be worried that an old person's going to come up and go can i help you with that and you're
Starting point is 01:29:51 like oh god no uh my father-in-law is 81 years old and his job is he works security at the frist at the where the frist what's the fr a museum downtown where they have $30 million artifacts there. Yeah. And he's security. But really, he is like that. He's the guy that just kind of, can I help you, sir? You've got to get the older people that are nosy enough to, you know, because you get to a certain age, you get pretty nosy.
Starting point is 01:30:19 And that's what you need. You need some people that are like, oh, I'd love to know, what are these guys up to? I can't wait to see what they're up to. And that's all, you know, it's a good thing. They like being around. They like talking. They like helping.
Starting point is 01:30:33 Right. I get it. Man suspected of an arson and vandalism in Ohio sent a selfie to the police because he didn't like the photo on his arrest warrant. Donald Chip Pugh. There's a name. There's a name. There's an easy name. This is a name that does something like this.
Starting point is 01:30:49 Chip Pugh. Chip. Donald Pugh. I go by Chip Pugh. Texted police a photo of himself and wrote, here's a better photo. That one is terrible. Man, they just did me wrong. Mr. Pugh told an Ohio radio station about why he went and sent the selfie.
Starting point is 01:31:04 They put a picture out that made me look like I was Ohio radio station about why he went and sent the selfie. They put a picture out that made me look like I was a Thundercat or James Brown on the run. I can't do that. There's the photo. That's funny. So, I mean, that's, you know, imagine he thought I look like a Thundercat and someone that he said probably laughed so hard he's like, I mean, I got to come out of hiding.
Starting point is 01:31:22 That joke's going to be great. Like, you know are james brown on the run they're like dude you have yeah dude you have to call in call into a radio station wow uh and did he go to jail i think he got caught after that yeah arson and vandalism ohio send a selfie yeah the last there's a also the kind goofy, silly one, the mystery pooper. For the past decade, a Norwegian golf course has been dealing with a serial pooper who decides to leave dirty toilet paper and poops in the bottom of holes. waterside course and hasford uh hasford jord claims they have been finding poop in the courses cup since 2005 wow uh i mean if you wouldn't play that course i mean it's almost like help the course you probably got to go play it and then you're like just to see if you find one i mean what if you go and he's not there you know you golf. How big of a deal would that be if somebody was doing that at your golf course?
Starting point is 01:32:27 You know, I was at – I'm not there now, but I was at Old Hickory Country Club in a very blue-collar country club. It was a great – DuPont Plant. It was in Old Hickory. I got married there. I wasn't a member there, but I became a member when I moved back. And now I'm at a different Legends. I became a member when I moved back.
Starting point is 01:32:44 And now I'm at a different Legends. But anyway, so they – and I've had – this is a golf club. If people notice my hat sometimes, that's another club. I'm not a member there. But they – at Old Hickory, we would get – people would drive cars on the fairways and greens and do donuts. And so you would go there the next day and you would see just a green would be torn up. And it happened over and over again. And I don't know if it still happens or if they eventually caught the person. But it was like trying to figure out, everybody's trying to figure it out.
Starting point is 01:33:22 It was very frustrating because just someone, you know, you're like, dude, you're just trying to golf. And then a whole green is torn up. Right. So, I mean, 2005, that's 14 years. So now,
Starting point is 01:33:32 you know, or 15 years they've had to deal with, you know, the fact that it's been going on that long makes me think it's an inside job. And it's a, you know, it's an employee of this place. Uh,
Starting point is 01:33:43 yeah, maybe. I mean, I can say they're local. It's the same course. This has Yeah, maybe. Oh, is it the same course? It's the same course. This has been happening periodically over decades. It could be a local. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:52 So, you know, I would almost bet it's a local. It's someone that lives near there. Yeah. And they, you know. Has a beef with the course being there or something. Yeah. But DNA now. They could get them. All a beef with the course being there or something. Yeah. But DNA now. They could get him.
Starting point is 01:34:07 All right. So the last one, I think I want to read a perfect crime to end this episode. Which one of these is better? Do you know? Well, one of them is just because the guy died. Okay. What's the other one? The other one is where they stole an artifact and replaced it with a replica and no one knew it.
Starting point is 01:34:24 That's the first one okay tucker crosses in an emerald studded 22 oh tucker's cross is an emerald study studded 22 karat gold cross discovered by bermudian is that how you say that man bermudian uh that man that word i got to the end of that world before my brain goes I don't know if we know this word like that's what my brain said and I was already to the end of the word I got ahead of my brain like I need to just say stuff and don't let my brain jump in Bermudian marine explorer Teddy Tucker in 1955 it was considered to be the most valuable single object ever found in a shipwreck in 1975 it was discovered that the Tucker's cross was stolen from the museum and replaced with a replica.
Starting point is 01:35:11 No one knows when it was stolen and replaced. The discovery of theft occurred just before Queen Elizabeth II was to visit the museum. Government officials believe the swap between the real and the fake was an inside job and no evidence supports the claim. Since the thief went through the trouble of making a replica, many speculate the job was done by an international art thief. Investigations were conducted by the Bermuda Police, FBI, Scotland Yard, Interpol, but there was little evidence for them to go on. Therefore, the whereabouts of the original cross is unknown. Wow.
Starting point is 01:35:47 I think that's what you get into art, like art thief, stuff like that. You get into that kind of thing would be the way to get into it. But, yeah, I mean, that's, you know, I mean, where are you going to sell that? You know, I guess they know, but you're in those circles. I mean, obviously, this is such a good thing that the guy did so good that, yeah, he probably knows someone. But it's like, even if someone buys it, this can't pop up. I've always thought about that. When you steal this priceless art, it's like, what do you do with it?
Starting point is 01:36:20 I mean, it has value. You can sell it to people that are, you know. Yeah, word's going to get out, though. Like, you're not going to. You can't put it on your mantle. Yeah. You know, and have people over. They're like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:30 Maybe you break it up and they sell it piece by piece. But what would be valuable broken up? Well, if it's got, if it's emerald studded 22 karat gold, I mean, you're bringing the gold up. Think about like the guy who stole the Mona Lisa. And he kept it in his apartment for like two years and then finally tried to sell it immediately got caught yeah yeah i mean where are you gonna exactly i mean how do you how do you even meet somebody and he wants to uh uh yeah uh all right it, right? That felt like long enough. Too much is the first comment next week.
Starting point is 01:37:09 How long are the podcasts? Do they stop? Yeah, so look, thank you guys again for listening. Hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you subscribe, leave comments, do all the stuff that helps us out. And, uh, yeah, we, uh, truly appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:37:29 Hope you have a great week and, uh, we'll see you next week. Thanks everybody for listening to Nate land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcast. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.

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