The Nateland Podcast - #70 Halloween
Episode Date: October 27, 2021Happy Halloween folks! On this week's podcast, we share ghost stories, discuss our favorite Halloween candy, and debate the popularity of William Shatner as we're once again joined by our friend and f...ellow comedian Mike Vecchione.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com #nateland #natebargatze   Vuori - Vuori.com/Nate  Go to VUORI.COM/NATE and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing and get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet. For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.    Solo Stove - SoloStove.com  Get the perfect fire pit for those Fall nights and make your backyard a destination with a spectacular fire pit from Solo Stove. Shop the Fall Event now and get an extra $10 off when you use promo code NATE at checkout. They’re so confident you’ll love it, they offer a lifetime warranty and a 30-day FREE return policy. Just go to SOLOSTOVE.COM. And remember, you get $10 off when you use promo code NATE.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hello folks welcome to the Nate land podcast I'm neighbor gets you Brian Bates Aaron Weber
we are here this is the Halloween episode. Halloween. Pretty fun.
I love Halloween.
And we're going to talk about Halloween.
And so these are the comments.
A lot of this stuff is being shot a little.
A, the Halloween episode, we had a card malfunction.
So when you see the whole episode, it's just kind of shot different.
But I'm kind of excited to see it.
Because it'll be different.
I like change.
I'm not afraid to change.
Love it.
Might be changing y'all up.
Would you switch the whole setup in here?
I would switch y'all.
I think I'd keep this room.
I think I'd keep the room the same.
I think I would just change this situation.
Yeah, the co-host.
That's, you know, easy stuff.
Easy things to move.
So now I could see.
I don't know. I guess it's a little different because you've got to think about the comfortableness of watching this show.
And so I wouldn't change the setup, I think, because of that.
I would change.
Maybe there could be some stuff up there that gets kind of added or some of the
pictures could change i would be down for that but i kind of like something being the same but
i think that's just because it's this i'm not against change for you know i can change cars
i can change i don't you're not a change i i don't do as well change as i should. Yeah. We should still have, what's his name? His coach, the Titans, the lineman, the guy that played at Penn State or something.
Oh, Mike Munchak?
Yeah, yeah.
As of DeBriant, we should still have Mike Munchak as the coach.
He didn't love any of the changes.
Let it rot.
Yeah, there's a lot of people that don't do well with change.
I'm just one of them.
You're laughing like I got a problem.
No, it's just funny the way you said that.
You said it with like a deep sorrow in your voice.
I think change is good.
Most people know that, but it's just hard to do it.
Yeah.
But you got to just change.
But I mean, you rearrange your apartment?
No.
Well, I mean, I live in a house with my wife.
But no, I never, once I set it up, I never think about it again. Yeah. rearrange your apartment no well i mean i live in a house with my wife but yeah but no i never
once i set it up i never think about it again yeah you just like it to all be there see i think my
family we used to rearrange everything and i mean we'd come home and it was always like
the rooms are different everything's different it was exciting though i always loved it you come
home and you're like we would be my parents would switch where the kitchen was because we had a small house.
And then it was basically a two-bedroom home.
And then they had to make it three bedrooms.
And so one bedroom is either going to be in the kitchen
or it's going to be in like the den.
And so their bedroom is in the den.
And then one day they come home, it's all in the kitchen.
And then it's like, it feels like a different room.
And I've always loved that. So there's a chance we show up one day they come home, it's all in the kitchen. And then it feels like a different room. And I've always loved that.
So there's a chance we show up one day and this is all in the garage.
I mean, the only difference with a show is a show can't really do that
because you can't.
I think people are watching it and you need them to get used to.
Everybody's got to get used to seeing. Like Se seinfeld if you watch seinfeld and he had a
new apartment you'd be like well that's weird that's true so that's a little different than
i think what i'm talking about i'm talking about if i could yeah if we could change or you know
now houses are kind of the rooms are built for what they are this was we were in a very small
house growing up and so i think you had to do it
just because you had to do it and so now it's a little different but i'm i'm for change i'm for
mixing it up i get i can get a little bored with something i want to just be it could be the way i
set the bus up i'll be like i'm gonna try this and then i had these shelves put in and then i think
we're gonna take them out now. And by we, Ricky.
This is how Ricky finds out.
Rick, I need those shelves removed.
No.
But I like that kind of little change here and there.
It's good.
Yeah.
You know?
Mix it up.
So this episode, we're doing comments separate from Mike Vecchione's on this episode of Halloween, right?
Yes. Mike. And it was wonderful with mike and i will we will talk about mike when he's here uh and if you see stuff kind of shot kind of piece by piece going forward we're
trying to keep it will always be here keeping the rhythm just you know bear with us if you're
seeing us have different outfits on and stuff like that.
Because the road has been crazy.
I'm still going out to see all y'all.
And then, oh, this week, this comes out.
We were in the day it comes out.
Yeah, we'll be doing Nashville shows.
Crazy week.
Yeah, crazy week.
Ryman.
No, Grand Ole Opry, Ryman, and then Columbus, Ohio.
Two shows, Columbus. Right. Big week. It's a big week. Mm-hmm. Ryman. No, Grand Ole Opry, Ryman, and then Columbus, Ohio. Two shows Columbus.
Right.
Big week.
It's a big week.
Pretty excited.
Robert Minion.
It's a tough last name.
You know?
Minion is not.
It's not.
It doesn't sound good.
It doesn't sound good.
Yeah, it's not flattering.
Yeah.
Nate might want to know that there are over 100,000 words in the English language.
However, people typically use between 20,000 to 40,000 when they write
and only about 8,000 when they speak.
Please don't ask my source on this.
How many do you think you use?
50.
Yeah.
That's what I was thinking.
Yeah.
50 words. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. 50 words.
Yeah.
I'd do pretty good out of them.
I would like to take a transcript of one of your specials and do like a word cloud and see how many different types of words you did.
I'll do that.
You got to listen to it all?
How do you do it?
You can find, there's transcripts of it online already, I'm sure, that have it beat for beat.
And you can see, I mean,
what do you think the most common word in your last special was?
I would say like.
Yeah.
Just because I'm using it like or so.
Some of that stuff is like you're using it for the rhythm.
Yeah.
Sure.
Right.
Yeah.
Not good or bad.
I'm just saying.
You probably do even more than 50, probably 100.
Look up a special.
That would be great if it's like 60.
See if you can figure it out.
Don't tell me.
60 words.
Tell me on the podcast.
I'll look into it.
I'll look into it.
See if it's better than...
Because I bet there's going to be an argument that some of those, you could argue three
of them are not even words.
What if a good 20 are not?
There's 20 words in here that are not.
They're your own words.
They're not real words.
But they count as my words.
Luke Luman.
Nate Land is a podcast about nothing.
Aaron Land is a podcast correcting Nate Land's mistakes.
I can see breakfast starting a podcast about bird watching.
I'm all for that.
I can see that too.
I took my dog for a walk today.
Saw a couple of blue jays.
Checked them out.
I could get into bird watching.
You like it?
Yep.
Have you ever done it?
Like hiked out in the woods and just.
No, he just looks like it.
Yeah.
You know who's a big bird watcher now?
Joe Zimmerman.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He's like in a big society or something.
Yeah.
He got into it during COVID and I think he goes to Central Park and like the whole shebang.
Yeah.
I guess because they're telling you like which birds are rare
and so you're looking for the rare ones.
I guess.
So it's kind of fun.
I could see it.
I don't think I'm to that age yet, but I bet I'm not far.
Yeah.
Dusty Slay does it?
Well.
I used to eat them.
Joshua Dolls.
Nate is absolutely right about flipping Let's Go to get rid of it.
I have a nine-year-old son who I only called bro for a month,
including during a parent-teacher conference,
and now he doesn't use any bro anymore.
It only took two weeks of enthusiastically yelling,
Let's go go in response to
his questions before is eradicated at our house having an old guy really embrace the lingo is the
quickest way to make it not cool anymore so if you and aaron can get back gammon to really embrace it
we can end it forever you need to be a let's go guy all right i'll start doing it yeah kids let's go yeah uh
randy break randy break i mean he's got to work in a i was about to say mechanic you got to be a
mechanic randy don't let us down and be scientists yeah yeah my friend and i played a drinking game
where we took a shot every time
nate said the word yeah i'll be honest with you so far it seems good that you're working a mechanic
shop my friend exploded and i woke up in japan loved your relaxed southern style and brian and
aaron are perfect co-hosts thank you all for my new favorite podcast i mean you better have been
there better been some cars around you or Or at least know Randy Brake.
It would be very funny if he's like, I'm a secretary.
Didn't ever saw that coming.
He's probably young.
Why do you think that?
Because he's playing drinking games with his friends?
I mean, he's 65 years old.
I mean, he's either younger or it's past.
Or it's just a problem.
Or he's good.
Or Randy's a good time.
Yeah. Maybe that's it. His. Oh, he's good. Or Randy's a good time. Yeah.
Maybe that's it.
His friend exploded and he woke up in Japan.
I've never heard.
That's two amazing things to say.
After a long night, my friends exploded and I woke up in Japan.
And then you walk off and people go, what?
Garen Barna.
This is Holly.
People go, what?
Garen Barna.
This is Holly.
In 2010, I was given a partly used $5 iTunes gift card by my aunt and was just getting into stand-up comedy.
I bought Nate's stand-up special on a whim and was blown away.
I took my iPod Touch to school that week and showed everyone I could
the Cambodia rocket launcher joke.
And now 10 years later,
I'm listening to this podcast. Finding Nate through a partly used $5 iTunes gift card from
my aunt is a fitting way to get into his comedy. I started a new job as a principal this week,
and the long drive has been made so much better by listening to Nate Aaron and Bob Berry.
Bo Berry? Bo Berry.
Bo Berry Biscuit?
Is that it?
I mean, that's what this is.
Is that a thing?
I don't know.
Oh, Bo Berry.
Bo Berry Biscuit.
That's a great name.
Yeah, it is.
You call someone Bo Berry Biscuit?
Bo Berry Biscuit.
Oh, Bo Jangles.
Bo Jangles.
I'm going to go down there and get me a Bo Berry Biscuit.
Every morning, thanks for the laugh, folks. That's awesome. I truly appreciate that. Bojangles I'm gonna go down and get me a Bo-Bear biscuit every morning
thanks for the laugh
folks
that's awesome
I truly appreciate that
that's cool
look at that
Aaron used to do that
here they are
on his way home
from cutting the grass
oh yeah
I wouldn't
I didn't buy Nate's album
though
I'd download that illegally
but I
bought music
you did buy
you would listen to music
not comedy
I do remember seeing when I was young at my grandmother's house.
She had cable and I didn't.
I do remember seeing you in a promo for your first,
must have been your first Comedy Central.
Yeah.
Remember the joke about being from Tennessee and the other states?
Yeah.
I remember that joke when I was a kid watching that on TV.
Yeah.
Pretty wild.
Yeah, wow. But not enough for me. Grew up and met him. Not enough for me to buy it. Yeah, never bought it. states yeah i remember that joke when i was a kid watching that on tv yeah pretty wild yeah wow and
then i but not enough grew up and met him not enough for me to buy it but yeah i never bought
it uh that's cool uh remember do you remember me first i saw baits on tv channel channel 4.2
oh there's gonna be channel 5 during his weather thing. Oh, yeah.
That wasn't on there.
Your weather?
That was just a class.
Raleigh Fornier.
Foreigner.
Foreigner?
Foreigner?
Isn't there a running back name with that last name?
Fournier?
Forte?
Matt Forte?
Maybe I'm thinking of Forte.
Maybe.
But I thought, what's the running back that played at LSU and then went to Jaguar?
Leonard Fournette.
Fournette.
Yeah.
Not close.
I would say Fournier for this.
Fournier.
That'd be my guess.
Raleigh Fournier.
While I was having a nap in my bed wearing just shorts and no shirt,
my six-year-old daughter grabbed my phone and took some pictures of me.
I had no idea this happened until a couple of days later
when I was at the auto parts shop.
Was Randy Blake there?
I had taken a picture of my VIN number on my truck
to make sure I was getting the right battery size.
Instead of reading the long number off,
I just passed my phone with the picture to the woman at the parts counter.
She smiled while looking at the picture,
entered the number and handed the phone back to me.
When I looked again at my phone,
I could see the previous photos
which were
of me with my shirt off, looking like
I was posing for the camera. I don't
know if she thought that whole thing was intentional or not,
but I was definitely a little embarrassed.
Gave it to her.
I wonder if she did.
Maybe. Maybe.
I do always think that, huh?
Did Harper ever take pictures of you when she was little and you didn't know it?
Probably.
I don't know.
I guess I wouldn't know.
You can at least easily understand how that could happen.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They think it's funny and you don't see your phone.
I mean, my pictures, like I talked about it on the special,
I got videos of Harper that they make, and it goes to my iCloud.
So there's a bunch of stuff on there that I don't see.
But I do.
Yeah, I totally get that.
That would totally help.
Tom Sites.
Nate, would you be willing to share what your TV pilot's plots were based on?
I have a TV pilot for you based on Nate's joke about time travel.
Plots were based on I have a TV pilot for you
Based on Nate's joke about time travel
Similar to Quantum Leap
Nate gets stuck in a time travel loop
In order to prevent some crisis from happening
Each episode is Nate trying to prove
He is from the future but nobody believes him
Yeah
So the ABC one was a real
Like basically everybody loves Raymond
And it was
With Kurt Wood Smith and Debra Jo were up.
They're bringing them back to that 70s show.
Yeah, I heard that.
They were in 90s Rubik.
So we were on the right path because that's what we had them as my parents.
That one was like I was living back in Nashville.
My wife would have been from L.A we met in LA so I mean Laura I met
in Alabama but the idea there would have been so she moved back to Nashville and I moved home
and uh that's that one the time travel thing I can tell you I pitched it as a show along uh
I don't remember when you remember the 2000 it? It was probably 14, 15. Yeah, that sounds right.
I actually sold it.
I sold it as a script, wrote the script,
and it was right when that other time travel thing came out.
It was a show that came out briefly on Fox.
And I was up against them.
And I remember selling it.
And they're going to pick who's going to make a pilot.
And I was like, does this one matter?
Because it was just like, what are the odds, dude?
We're both going to the same network, and we're both pitching a time travel show.
And I was like, is this going to matter?
And they were always like, no, I don't think so.
And you're like, there's no way.
And it was the guys that did Last Man on Earth whoever
they did all the Lego movies
they were a huge
company
and
and they
and so
they ended up making their show
and then mine didn't
and then they owned
the rights to it
so when Century Fox
owns your script
so if I
if I did it again
and pitched it
it would have to be different
and I don't want to say
what it was
because
I think I could do it as a movie.
Yeah.
That's the only other way around it.
But so I always have that idea.
So, I mean, yes, it is a good idea, Tom.
I'm a fan of it, a fan of it.
Did that other show go very long?
What?
The other time travel.
No, it was like Back in Time or something.
Never heard of it.
Something.
I actually, I'll tell you, I didn't really have a ton of time travel. No, it was like back in time or time. Never heard of it. Something. I actually, I'll tell you, I didn't really have a ton of time travel.
I did have time travel on my show, but it wasn't a lot.
It would have been, I had it being two times.
I'm already telling you all.
I was a caterpillar.
Jake Peterson.
Hello, folks.
I recently had my own version of the Krispy Kreme Challenge.
One night after a few drinks with friends,
I suggested I could eat four double quarter pounders from McDonald's
in under 15 minutes.
My friends immediately challenged me, and when I finally attempted it,
I could only eat three in 10 minutes.
My stomach could not handle a fourth.
Would love to hear how many double quarter pounders Aaron thinks he could eat.
It's the time restriction that would mess with me.
I'm not a good speed eater.
Yeah.
But I feel like if I just sat down and just let me make a day out of this,
I could eat seven or eight, no problem.
Yeah.
So I would say if you're doing something like this, don't throw a timeout.
That's where people go wrong.
Like this guy, I mean, so he learned he could do three and 10, which is crazy.
Three and 10 is impressive.
But he could have done four in 30 minutes.
Half an hour, no problem.
And then it would have been easy.
And so it's like, I almost would be like, I wouldn't – what I've learned from hearing some stories is we're quick to give times out because we think I'll do it in 15 minutes.
Like you're – and you got to go start – give yourself a little – go hard on the number and give yourself a little loose ending just to be like in 30 minutes.
Yeah.
I think I disagree. I think the more time passes, then your stomach catches up with you
and you start realizing you're full.
Where if you do it speed, you can do more
because you don't even realize yet that you're full.
Yeah, but he did three in 10 minutes.
That's too quick.
And then that's like, you're going to get sick.
So like, you just eat it, eat it, and then you can eat the other one.
Just give yourself a little, like he could have probably said 20 minutes
and probably done four.
You would eat it still fast, but I mean three and 10 is fast.
Yeah.
And I think that's just too quick.
I understand your point for sure.
You got to realize for your body knows what's going on.
Yeah.
Like those hot dog eating champions, I bet they couldn't eat however many they eat over two hours oh i bet they could uh i bet they're trained they trained for maybe
them but this is a guy who was drunk and sitting in their car probably driving
this is the randy break because i'll do it. Yeah. Maybe it was Jake and Randy.
They should get together.
What's he talking about?
Yeah.
This is the guy that woke up in Japan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was his Japan.
Jonathan Fisher.
Hey, guys.
In the comments last week, you talked about faster cuts in film TV.
Do you also find there are faster cuts you need to make in your sets? Robin Williams
seemed like he got faster cuts way early and was almost consumed like a newly released drug by the
audience. Even if it wasn't the funniest, most prepared thing, you were still going on a roller
coaster of transitions from one impression to the other. Nate's delivery, conversely, was a breath of fresh air
because he takes his time and jokes even when he is talking a little faster.
Do any of the three of you feel pressure to have a faster
or maybe slower rhythm?
I'm kind of going through this right now, actually,
and I'm trying to make myself slow down.
Some of it, I almost think I'm getting more Southern again
because I'm back home.
And so I'm like, I got to make sure that people can hear these words.
And so I'm trying to go a little bit slower.
And so I've caught myself.
But the hard part is like, if you have a joke that you're like,
I am not positive about this joke,
then I'm going to speed it up a little bit
just because I don't want to be left out there.
You know, I don't want to go super slow.
You know, if it's a joke that you're like, well, if you really think about this joke,
y'all are going to realize it's stupid.
And so, you know, and you have some speed up moments.
I'm having more speed.
I'm getting a little more like, you know, speed up, a little more emotion shown, I guess.
Not really animation.
But I've weirdly have been thinking, I thought of it just the last show I did.
I thought, let me slow down.
And, you know, it's like, all right.
Like, I've always had that kind of quick, like it was in New York.
It was like, well, you got to murder.
You have five minutes and these people will hate you.
So you got to go up and be like good and you got to stay on top of them
i stayed on top of the crowd one night uh recently because they felt a little drunk
and they felt kind of party and all this if i'd been too slow there they're going to yell they
just yell stuff so you got to those you kind of feel a little fat some of it's just the crowd
you got to figure out like all right i need to stay on top of these people and kind of always
be talking or they're going to kind of unravel and start yelling stuff uh and then sometimes
you can be like all right i can slow it down this crowds into the show that's what i believe
yeah and to his point shorter attention spans because everything's quicker cuts and tv
can sometimes lead to shorter attention spans and comedy. You're probably at the point now with your audience. I mean, you just said
there are still examples where you still have to get on top of them. Yeah, but my speeding up is
just to put more jokes in. So it's like, even when I tell a story, I don't really leave a lot of
space. I mean, everything you're saying is kind of, there's a laugh.
So I try to do that.
So that's where I feel sped up.
But I can sometimes talk too quick too.
And some of it, you got to figure out the rhythm of what you're trying to say.
It's interesting.
Now this new set, I would say I have, I do an hour,
but I would say I have 40, I would say 40, 45, that's pretty.
I'm like, this is good.
And then the other stuff is like some of it's fine.
I mean, I think it's fine.
But I can just look at places where I'm like,
I need to work on a couple things, and you can feel.
And some of that is rhythm.
It's a different thing when you get into theaters.
I mean, it's so different. When we do theaters, it's's a different thing when you get into theaters I mean it's so different
you know when we do theaters
it's like
a different feel
the laugh is different
it's longer
it goes farther back
the pacing is different
when you're in a comedy club
everybody's kind of real close
it's opposite of that
you don't feel like
you have time
because it's
you almost feel embarrassed
like
you start like
so you're like
I gotta just stay on these people
in a theater
it feels it's a show and it feels like so you're like i gotta just stay on these people in a theater it feels it's
a show and it feels like that you know yeah no yeah i completely agree i mean i didn't know if
y'all had anything you know uh no i mean i totally agree with you when we did that arena uh in
mississippi tupelo that was even a different vibe because it's so much bigger. Yeah, with Leigh-Anne Morgan. Yeah.
She's out on tour now.
Yeah, it's with you.
You're going out.
And then, yeah, it's a whole different.
That's even because the Laughers is different.
I was talking to someone about arenas.
And I was talking to Dorfman, Zanies, Owen Zanies.
Me and Dorfman are close, and we were talking about this.
And he was saying arenas.
I want to do arenas just because you do.
But then it's also like I get the idea that they're not,
maybe isn't the greatest thing.
But it's like you do want to do, like I want to do Bridgestone in Nashville.
I want to do Madison Square Garden, Chicago,
kind of the places I started and where I'm from would be very cool to get to do Madison Square Garden, Chicago, kind of the places I started.
Yeah.
Where I'm from would be very cool to get to do those.
But I was looking at everything.
Look, I got to try it and see what it feels like.
And you could decide if you like it or don't like it from there.
But yeah, I think you want to be like, yeah, you want to be like, I did this.
For sure.
Yeah.
Definitely. this for sure yeah definitely i've done a couple uh i've opened for people at arenas and uh and
the experience of it is like awesome but it's just i always think comedy is better smaller at least
i'm more comfortable when it's smaller so the bigger it was i didn't i didn't have much fun
on stage as cool as it was like i couldn't get in the pocket i would do in the round
i've never done a show in the round i love in the round and so if i did a theater an arena i would
want to do in the round and because it's like then everybody feels you're you're closer to a
lot more people yeah and so you at least you at least pull them in and stuff like that see the
one i did they were so far away in the back. They're hundreds of yards away. It's crazy.
Yeah.
Who was it with?
With Chris in Minneapolis.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Brett Lobb, Loeb, L-A-U-B.
I'm a pilot for a commercial airline, and I recently have been told no more saying ladies and gentlemen because some may be offended.
I now say hello, folks.
and gentlemen because some may be offended.
I now say, hello, folks.
I'm hoping one day one of y'all may be in the back and realize he just said hello, folks,
and come up to the cockpit and say hi.
That's awesome.
Yeah, you want to just walk up to that cockpit?
No, I said hello, folks.
So I need to get in there.
Tap it on the door.
Just banging on the door.
Let's go, folks.
Just yelling that out as you're just getting thrown off the plane i mean when he's gonna announce it it's like when you're talking
we're about to take off hello folks door shut can't get up love you guys swing by the cockpit while we're on the descent and maybe you know let's go folks just yell out
get restrained by air yeah yeah let's go you're on a list let's go folks and you just see him
he just opens a little window and he goes hello folks just yelled out that little side window
brat i don't wonder what's the highest they can open that window.
You know?
On a plane.
Like your pilot.
When do you have to shut it?
What window?
The window on the side window.
You're talking about
once they carry you off the plane
where you could see the plane.
Yeah.
No, I'm saying
like when you take off.
Does it have to be shut?
Like can you
10,000 feet
be like, all right, let's shut that like can you right 10 000 feet be like
all right let's shut that window like the wi-fi once it gets below 10 000 yeah i think you gotta
shut it before 10 000 feet i don't know i mean let's try it i mean brett let us know honestly
yeah brett let us know how we're supposed to say hi to you uh we won't announce it so
everybody goes he goes there's a little key above the door.
He just gives,
that's what he tells us.
It's right above the,
you know,
the code is always one,
two,
three,
four.
Just come on in whenever you want.
It's funny.
It's like Southwest is so cheap because the pilots cracked the window.
Yeah.
To save on AC.
That's the drag.
Like just slowing down,
hair blowing.
Matt Gable. My kids
are having a sleepover with their cousins tonight
at our house. From downstairs
I heard my seven-year-old son
Parker on a microphone
saying he thought I looked like his
elderly wife with no shirt on at a
car he didn't recognize.
I think me and Olivia could both have
a word with him. As you can imagine, I couldn't contain my laughter
and had to go see what was happening.
Come to find out they were having their own talent show.
Parker says he wants to be a comedy guy like Nate,
but his cousins only gave him 2.5 out of 10 with the Olivia joke.
Learning the basics of bombing early.
I tell you what, Parker, I think you killed it.
And that joke was great. And cousins i don't what did they do i don't know if they had you brought the heat parker and that is they did
rx yeah they did yeah did they do uh bowberry biscuits and andrew they i would think you did great, Parker.
And look, he told everything.
That's how the joke goes.
Keep doing it, buddy.
That's what you got to do.
It is.
You learn the basics of tight rooms.
You learn to get through these sets.
And then you do it.
It's going to come and you're going to come around.
Me and you will be working together one day.
I'll be open for you, Parker, at an an arena going i don't think i would do this uh chris minette minette i don't know
minette doesn't sound as fun as minette yeah uh my wife and daughter were recently in nashville
i said go by zany's and get a picture next to nate mural pic. I was never more disappointed when this is what they texted me.
If you can see the zone, this is a picture of Tom Segura.
And they're standing next to him.
That's so great.
I texted it to Tom.
Do you ever get mistaken?
For Tom?
Yeah.
No, I've never been.
No one's ever said it.
I mean, they always say we kind of sound alike and stuff like that, but no one's ever.
I've never been called Tom.
I can see that with the beard.
Yeah, yeah.
With the beard and all that stuff.
Yeah.
I know he makes fun of Burt being fat, but I think I'm in better shape than Tom.
I should be, right?
I need to go stare at him with his shirt off.
I'm going to go meet Tom.
Let's take your shirt off, buddy.
Let's see.
Pound for pound, what are we looking at?
He's like a big dude.
I mean, not a big dude, but he's a football player.
He was a big dude.
A strong guy.
But yeah, I texted Tom.
He loved it.
It was very funny.
All right.
All right, everybody.
Thank you.
This week.
Oh, that's the funny. All right. All right, everybody. Thank you. This week. Oh, that's the Halloween.
Yes.
So here's the Halloween episode with Mike Vecchione.
Halloween's a wonderful, wonderful holiday.
I hope you guys have a great Halloween.
It's the funnest.
If you're a kid, when you have kids, nothing better than Halloween.
Have fun.
And here goes the Halloween episode.
We are here once again with Mike Vecchione.
Thank you guys for having me back.
Yeah.
Change the jacket.
His other jacket's just in that other room.
So is mine is too.
I like this.
He's broke the fourth wall, Nate, of the podcast.
I mean, Aaron's got an Aaron Lynn shirt. Aaron went
downstairs to put that on.
Breakfast.
The only thing I did different was actually spilled water
on me. I think it's about dried now, but...
That's it. That's it.
Still same shirt. Brian, I think a good thing to say
when someone calls you the wrong
thing is to go, put some respect on
my name. Yeah. Put some
respect on my name. Put some respect on my name respect on my name
i would love that's as aggressive as you can get right there you can't i think the only thing you
can't do is because when he does it they will push his face away with their hand because they feel no
threat and they would go andre the giant yeah yeah get out of here but isn't that a cool thing to say
yeah that's what I tell his daughter
and she's like
no you're Bob Ripple Pants
yeah
no barrel
that doesn't work
Bob Ripple Pants
such a good name
that's kind of how it started
I think
too was the Bob
every time it was like
my daughter
and
Maya
yeah
they called
they started calling him
Bob Ripple Pants.
Which is a great name.
Yeah.
I thought you kicked me under the table for something.
Like Bob Ripple Pants.
We know what I'm talking about.
Hey, Mike, why don't you bring something to the show?
No, no.
That's the only thing I was talking about.
So this episode, we're going to talk about Halloween.
And the title is probably Halloween.
You know, I probably don't ever need to say what we're talking about.
But it's hard not to in the moment.
And so.
It's almost like the discussion is in a disguise.
God, man.
Halloween.
Yeah.
Let's go with the theme.
So I'm going to go go and I'm gonna do
two recordings
alright
so here's
the first one
what's up everybody
we got Mike Vecchione
Halloween episode
Mike quiet down
don't say anything
hey what's up everybody
me Aaron
Brian only
doing a Halloween episode
alright
let's just see how this feels
I got two different options
to use
Vecchione
died everybody I got two different options to use. Vecchione died, everybody.
If you're seeing this, you probably saw different comments.
We're doing, as you all know, we're on the road,
and it's pounding away.
And so we're having to record some stuff here and there,
but we're going to always make sure that we give y'all,
y'all will have stuff every week because that's the job.
And that's why we're here.
So this week, Halloween.
Halloween's one of my favorite holidays, I would say.
It goes from your favorite holiday to then your age with no kids
and you're like, whatever about it.
And then you have kids again and you're like,
what's my favorite holiday now?
Doesn't that apply to all holidays?
I feel like I would get that way
with Christmas too
and with Easter.
You kind of relive it
through your kids.
Well, your older years,
they like Thanksgiving more
because it's like the family.
That's my favorite right now.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know,
that's how gout got started.
No hat today either. Your feeding window. How isn't a lot of people will be handling that i
don't have an air and land hat so i had to yeah just wore the no hat do you ever not wear a hat
as a look you look like you're having trouble processing yeah do you wear it everywhere not
had on stage i've been not wearing it on stage that's good i think you should yeah because
everybody thinks i wear a hat all the time as i've always said and i've never wore a hat on stage i mean maybe i've done it on
like whatever shows if i'm doing 10 minutes or something like that but as far as a big show
i've never wore a hat and why you shouldn't is it hides your eyes it hides my eyes even in this
podcast but yeah well i did a show with a comic who had a hat and i couldn't see any of his face
and i thought that probably is how I look every set.
It is.
Well, your eyes are very important.
Yeah.
And you already cover up the bottom of your head.
Just your nose.
I mean, you're basically like people see this.
Yeah.
Now, I have been wearing sunglasses on stage.
Yeah, you look like a poker player that comes out.
In 95 masks.
You don't see where these jokes are coming from.
You're like, went to the grocery store the other day.
Always get the wobbly wheel.
Like, you're always looking like, who said that?
It's ventriloquist.
Yeah.
Golly.
I thought, who was up there talking, man?
So.
I was thinking when I prepared this episode,
if we were Halloween, like Jason, Freddie, Mike Myers, the background,
we were one of those, what would be our backstory?
I think I'm the whistler.
You know when it gets killed because you hear me comment.
It's like.
The least successful
serial killer yeah but the one that wants to oh you have a nose yeah yeah and the uh
the the audience already let him know so they they uh you would be i think the guy that wants
to kill the most and can't yeah you're But you're definitely like, you get around other serial killers
and they get uncomfortable when they talk.
Just shop talk.
When they shop talk.
Shop talk.
They are sitting there and they're like,
ah, man, just go get it over with.
Like, just, or kill yourself maybe.
I don't know.
Have surgery.
Deviate a septum.
Yeah, yeah.
Guys, I just watched Joe List's old sketch video where he did a whistle video.
It was very funny.
He goes, buddy that has a nose whistling.
And he's doing the Andy Griffith in his nose.
It was very funny.
I just saw it today.
Yeah.
But yeah, you would be the one that they caught.
I mean, you just would never be.
It's not for trying.
But they just always know I'm coming.
Yeah.
They always see you.
They go, what's up, man?
And you're like, you got leaves taped up on you, hiding in the bushes.
And they always go, Brian?
And then you're, hmm.
They're going to call me Brian.
You got to walk home with your leaves and sticks sticking out of your hat.
You're like, stupid nose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or if you could do it, I mean, as a serial killer, if we're going to go down this road,
go like, I have a nose whistling problem.
Can you come over here?
And then you like chop them with an ax or something.
I can't hear you over my nose.
Do you mind coming a little closer?
He just kills like ENTs.
Yeah.
And then everybody thinks it's birds killing people.
Because they go, I heard chirping.
I heard birds chirping.
I'm only killing ear, nose, and throat doctors.
Yeah.
People do like to give medical advice.
You've only killed with exact appointment times.
Like it's never random. It's's always 10 15 a.m left at 10 20 a.m you're like well why don't you just talk to them
about the nose with something he goes huh i thought they're the ones that caused this
that'd be great if you uh could your nose would only whistle when there was like
covid or something in the air oh yeah you know like an alert system like a dog it's the rudolph the red-nosed reindeer stories
like you make fun of him until he's useful yeah and then he's your whole thing yeah what if you
were a bomb detector like a bomb dog are you're like and they just couldn't control it yeah they
walk you they got a leash on you and a guy smaller than you walks you and you're like, what's wrong, boy?
What's wrong, boy?
What's wrong?
And the person's like sweating.
What's this guy doing?
Brian's a human alarm.
Human alarm.
Human alarm.
Yeah.
You'd be the gout foot.
Gout foot.
When you touch, you get gout probably.
No, I think he can only go right.
Can't go left because he got on the left.
So if you don't, like he's going to, when people are watching the movie,
they're like, go left.
He can't go left.
And they just keep going right.
And they get around a circle just running right.
And he just catches them every time.
He gets out because my footprints are different sizes.
Who do you think did it?
I have a great idea
if you notice this one foot's wider than it is long
it looked like a wreck it was it looked like a man with a rectangle foot
that'd be funny if you're in an argument with your lady and she's screaming at you and she goes get
out and then goes gout oh you know and it double hurts it hurts it hurts like twice we'll tell
lucy to do it tonight we're here tonight so we're yeah yeah that's a good one that's a good one get
out get out get out get on out of here get on out of here and you're like what do you
you're trying to fight them then where are you what am i you'd probably be the dyslexic maybe like you're forcing people
to read to them
I do it
in backwards
so
I
they kill themselves
and then I try
to bring them
back to life
I do it
you know
and then I go
I shouldn't have done this
why am I doing this
I'd see everything backwards
and then I turn myself in
and I only get
one kill in
you're a dyslexic doctor they go in for a physical and you kill them because you backwards to see everything backwards. And then I'd turn myself in, and I would get one kill in.
Your dyslexic doctor, they go in for a physical,
and you kill them because you move backwards?
They read those letters, and I go, oh, it's perfect.
You got perfect vision.
They get hit by a bus, and they walk out immediately.
I'll be honest with you, I've never seen someone get it like that.
It's great if you're pulled over, and you've been drinking too much,
and they go, you have to say the alphabet.
I'm drunk too, but I'm also dyslexic.
I'm going to nail it.
Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-B.
You're kind of doing it.
Z-Y-X-W, is that it?
Z-Y-X-W-U-P. Threw a B in there pretty quick.
Yeah.
U-T-S-R-B-V.
I don't know.
I could do it quick enough to go is that i'd be
z x y w is that's good enough right you know i could keep going and he's like yeah that was
pretty impressive okay yeah you know i do this dude that's a dumb question and if he goes just
do two more i'd be like a one two it's actually not doing the alphabet backwards. It's actually the letters flipped over.
Yeah.
So actually, you're doing that wrong.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Z-X-W-Y-1-5-Niner.
Niner.
Yeah.
Exclamation point, pound sign.
That's what you should do.
Uh-huh.
And then they go, man, he's not drunk.
Yeah.
Then you're like.
This guy's just a comedic genius.
Yeah.
Exclamation point, Townside Taco.
He threw an emoji in there.
Emoji.
I asked him for the alphabet.
This guy's making it fun.
He made it fun.
This guy is livening it up by night.
Hey, I'll be honest with you, sir.
You're still going to jail, but this has been the greatest night of my life.
And he shakes your hand.
You go, hey, you know what?
I appreciate that.
He's like, you are never going to drive again, but I will pick you up when you need something.
Because, man, I had fun.
I needed this.
I needed this tonight.
It's usually so serious.
And this just felt great.
I'll be honest with you.
I'll let you drive one more mile.
Let's just see what happens.
Did you ever hear that joke where they pull a guy over for a DUI and he's like, I'm in a hurry.
I'm a juggler.
I got to get to my thing. And the cop's going, look, I don't believe you. Get out of the car he's like, I'm in a hurry. I'm a juggler. I got to get to my thing.
And the cop's going, look, I don't believe you.
Get out of the car.
He's like, I swear to God, I'm a juggler.
And he goes, here, I'll prove it.
And he gets out and he's got chainsaws in the back of his car and he starts juggling the chainsaws.
And another drunk driver sees him from across the street and he goes, I better sober up.
Look at the test they're giving now.
That's so good. Look at the test they're giving now all right what would you be mike the the cop uh wrestler every bad cop quiet quiet he's not what you expect right mike would be probably just a regular serial killer
because i think you have those that personality right
to be normal the meditative deep breathing cold shower yeah be in shape i mean like the guy you
like you cron i'll just keep running after you the you know takes a cold shower i mean he's already
he's like got the starter you take cold showers freezing showers yeah yeah we're on the road of
this theater and the theater you know these theaters are old a lot of them and and he goes oh what was wrong the shower cold i'm like i i don't know yeah if it was cold
he goes no it's just cramped it doesn't matter yeah imagine you get a look at every shower and
you go i don't care because you don't even notice it no i notice it i still notice it i'm not that
far along yeah i don't even do people get that a possibility to put on. Do people get that? It's not a possibility to put it on warm. Do people get that far along, like where they don't notice it?
Yeah.
I mean, that guy Wim Hof, that guy is like, they're like,
so sometimes you-
Do you follow a guy that's just known for taking cold showers?
Are you in a group?
Yeah, you're in a group.
Yes.
And you're acting like, you said that guy Wim Hof,
as if we all might know the greatest cold shower of all time.
He's the greatest cold shower guy.
And that's his thing? His thing is breathing, the breathing practice that i do and cold showers and that's
all he's known for he's not like is he a navy seal or something or is he no he's a guy who uh
gets the best out of himself by breathing and he does like these amazing things he'll swim
underwater he he'll like uh run up mount everest barefoot he does all these crazy
things but it's it's really you got to read it you got to read his i'm not doing his story
there's no video it's just a story he wrote and he said i ran out oh i did that too
oh i did too i flew up it i can fly he's like wim north wim hoff? Yeah. He was on Rogan and all this stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
He's out.
What's the purpose of cold showers?
Seinfeld is so you don't sweat during the meeting, George Stanton.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's Seinfeld.
They're really good for you.
Like, they're really good for you.
And also, because it's good for all your systems.
Your circulatory?
Yeah.
Well, when the water hits you you cut your
natural tendency is to tighten up right and the whole point is to breathe through it okay breathe
through it and adjust to it wow yeah you know i started doing i was i was sweating when i get out
of a shower and it was so frustrating yeah that for. I do like a super cold for like 30 seconds right at the end.
Yeah.
That's all I need.
I know.
Do you ever think about eating better?
Oh, my God.
Are you giving the truck stop advice?
Yeah.
You would be a great truck stop.
Yeah.
Because every shower, you're're like i don't care
i do get it i'm joking i've done that too yeah so if you uh if you like sometimes you want it
sometimes i want it cold uh but i could see taking a cold shower like i get yeah the idea of it and
like so you never take a hot shower i haven't now now i haven't but in
florida sometimes it's hard your water here in the south like it's just naturally because it's like
warmer it's it's not as cold i was in vancouver in the winter and i put it on cold and i was really
i mean i had to put it down it's still cold but i didn't put it on the coldest that it was because
it was it was really really cold but There's all kinds of benefits to it.
But one major benefit is, and we talked about this before, which is your mind tends to put you in a comfortable place sometimes.
Not sometimes, a lot of times.
Your mind is just looking for the easiest, most comfortable.
And this is an opportunity to tell your mind, like, I'm not, we're going to do this.
I'm not listening to you.
Because your instinct is, let's just take a cold.
You start having that conversation. And David, I love david goggins i listen to all his stuff
he's navy seal like motivational speaker and he's like you have to win the argument with your mind
because your mind will always go to the most comfortable weakest place so it's like it's okay
we don't have to take a cold shower today but if you just go this is what i'm doing i don't have to take a cold shower today, but if you just go, this is what I'm doing, I do not care what my mind says, and you just do it anyway.
Yeah.
Wow.
Halloween.
I mean, it's so funny to get.
Yeah, so this dude was-
He's unbelievable, man.
He was fat at one point.
He was fat.
He went through Navy SEAL training three times, which is unbelievable.
He does these unbelievable feats, but the reason I love him is because he breaks down mental toughness.
Like when growing up playing sports, be mentally tough.
You got to be mentally tough.
Like he breaks down the conversation that you have with yourself when you're suffering.
Yeah.
So no one I've ever seen does that.
Yeah.
So.
I think it makes you probably be not, you take the ego out of yourself too.
Right.
Like if you do it, you know, and you think – like he's got to be humbled.
Like he looks like that and he's humbled by it because it's like such hard work to get to that point.
Where you have to – I was thinking about that this week when we were talking about like when you earn stuff,
where you have to... I was thinking about that this week
when we were talking about
when you earn stuff,
I think people that earn stuff
really are not egomaniacs about it
because they are like,
do you know how hard this was, man?
It's hard.
And so they don't...
They're proud,
but they don't...
They would never think
they're above anybody.
They're like,
no, dude, I just had to do it.
It was the worst
and it was hard.
And a guy like that would be... You'd be like, well, this guy's more appreciative above anybody they're like no dude i just had to do it it was the worst and it was hard and like a
guy like that would be you'd be like well this guy's more appreciative yeah it's someone that's
just born with that body yeah that's never like they've had it easy yeah my experience getting to
work with uh other comedians it's the very few have been rude or weird or anything but those
are always the comics who've had some sort of weird path where
they've gotten things quickly.
Yeah.
It's the old guys that have been through,
you know,
they've grinded it out for years.
They're all very grounded,
very humble,
very friendly.
Yeah.
And the ones that get it young and quick can be the divas.
It can be the,
Cause it's like,
you're supposed to be getting that.
And that, that comes from
everybody's kind of
a yes person with you.
Your agents are like,
you know,
doing all this kind of stuff.
It's hard.
I mean,
I understand that it's hard.
I mean,
you know,
I can see it some now
where it's like stuff is like,
you know,
when I go do a show,
you know,
I get an iced coffee
on my rider.
So someone brings me
an iced coffee
at sound check
is when I want to get it. So I don't have to go get it because hey sometimes i'm not there it's the
timing of it all but even that simple of a kind of thing where you're like sometimes i want to be
like i need to go get this on my own like it's like because i can have you know i got travis
as my tour manager so travis will get a lot of stuff for me some of them i need it to get because
it's like hey i'm trying to do this or i'm trying to go out to eat with my buddies and i'm trying to like have a go walk
around the mall and have like just a normal day yeah uh and so sometimes it's like having
assistance or you know people have that your life gets busy but then sometimes you do you gotta
you know it's like go get your tires changed. Well, you go change them.
Like, go drive up there yourself.
Sit in that, you know, it seems, you know.
Do you do that?
No.
Travis does.
No, Laura does that, actually.
But it's, but I mean, you know, I actually haven't done any of this,
but I know that I should.
I've been, but I haven't been home.
And so it's like, I'm haven't been home and so it's like
i'm trying to like some of it's like well i need to go i need to last night was like be with harper
like sitting there i put her to bed we talked it's best time to talk to a kid when and how are
you with her do you have that kind of like don't look at me don't you look directly at me who do
you think you are i'm better you're nothing well so last night i
met her for the first time and she seemed nice you know little uh now the best time to talk to a kid
man is when you're putting them to bed and she always as a judge right now is like she sleeps
with us and uh and so like she always wants us to snuggle and she'll be like you know it's very
cute to be like tonight's a snuggle night because. And she'll be like, you know, it's very cute.
She'll be like, tonight's a snuggle night.
Because some nights we're being like, no, you need to just go to bed.
But it's like we have one kid.
We had a kid late.
So we're having one kid.
You're like, I tell her all the time, she's not going to want to snuggle with us too much longer.
And so, like, let's just enjoy it.
And it's a special, like, you know, it's just, even though she can be asleep,
it's like the very sweetest moment where I get to really kind of talk with her
and hold her, and she's my little girl.
And so, but it's the best time to talk to them because they're trying to stay awake.
So they will just, you know, when they're busy and doing stuff with their friends
during the day, they don't want to talk to you.
But when they want to stay awake and you're trying to make them go to bed,
I mean, she'll talk about anything and everything.
Wow.
And just like, so it's kind of a fun moment to be like,
like last night we talked for like 30 minutes.
She should have been asleep, but it was like, I haven't been home.
And then we're just talking about they're going to go out with me
in a couple weeks for her fall break or something.
Or maybe they just went out with me on the fall break because when this is coming out and so we were talking about the plans
for that and what we're gonna do i'm like we'll be on the bus she loves the bus she loves the hotel
she likes a green room you know it's like all that kind of stuff like it's very fun obviously
every kid a tour bus is fun and so we're just talking about the plans for that and you know
it's i don't know i feel like you get to learn their personality.
You know, we had it in the car too.
The car's good too.
If you can get them to be like, you know, it's like sometimes she wants to just like,
can I have your phone?
Can I do something?
And you get like, no, we're going to, let's talk.
What do you ever say?
Just take off your seatbelt and live a little bit.
Are you going to listen to everybody all your life she's always
i've always let her sit in my lap and drive the car i mean obviously i'm doing gas and brake and
my hands on it but since she was five i would always why are we pulling the driveway i'd be
like you want to drive and i'll let her sit up with me and let her steer a little bit you know
when she's five i was kind of doing it and because i mean she's steering and i mean she's just like
looking everywhere but forward yeah i'm like you gotta look forward we're driving forward
women drivers right yeah right
i don't support that yeah okay all right so they uh but then i i let her drive in uh our
neighborhood too so i went up get in the neighborhood i'll be like you want to drive and
now she's bigger i still do the gas pedal because i don't know if she knows it
really that well but i kind of let her do the driving and uh i've let her she'll drive the
golf cart she ever comes out with me you let her pump the gas uh yeah she's never pumped the gas
actually i remember my dad letting us pump the grass gas for the first time and it was like
pretty crazy and i remember moving to new york and you'd meet people from new jersey and they're like i've never pumped gas in my life because in new jersey
they every gas station has people that do that right and so there's kids that are like are you
meet someone's like 30 he's like i've never one day pumped you you've never pumped gas well you
meet people in new york never drove a car yo yeah i grew up in the rondale hartley remember he had
he got his driver's license after we knew him and he was an adult he was in his 30s or something
yeah and he like his goes just got my driver's license i was like and i'm like what yeah just
now and he's like i mean we've never needed one and you know i don't why would i you're just riding
a subway yeah you're 50 you do your first communion tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah.
Are you guys doing everything backwards here?
Yeah.
Big cities, right, guys?
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Halloween.
All right.
Hey, could I say one thing about Halloween?
Like, your daughter sleeps with you every night.
I think a cool thing to do on Halloween would be, like, for the first time, you take her to a separate cold room with a big clown on it and just go, you sleep in here tonight.
Yeah.
Halloween. Halloween.
You got to get into the spirit of being scared.
I do like scanner.
I bought her a bunch of stuff at the spa museum in DC.
And it's like those glasses with the mirrors you can see behind.
It's all the stuff that I was like, I remember getting stuff like this.
The knife comb that you press it and it's a comb.
Oh, it's a switchblade.
Switchblade comb.
Yeah.
And then.
I think that's travis's right
yeah actual cone travis has a lot of knives we go to the spy museum and travis me graham and travis
are going to the spy museum and we walk in they go uh he's going through metal detector and travis
always has a knife with him like it's a pocket knife but it's a it's it's a big pocket knife
and he goes he doesn't want me to tell everybody on
here like i won't tell you where his other knife is because he has one more too uh and he uh he has
his his knife out and he pulls it out and then they go he get the guys like he's like well is
it a small knife you can take if it's small and he goes he pulls it out and the guy flips it open
and he's like yeah man this one's gonna have to you got to take it you know you go he goes, he pulls it out, and the guy flips it open, and he's like, yeah, man, this one's going to have to, you got to take it.
He goes, go put it in your car, and we're like, we don't have a car.
He's like, I mean, throw it in a bush or something like that,
and then Travis had to go to a bush, and it was very funny.
He goes, just threw it in the bush.
And then we were just picturing we come back out,
and like Travis, because Travis left before us,
and we come back out, and just all the bushes are pulled up.
He can't find his knife.
He's yelling at the guy.
He goes, someone took it.
Someone saw me drop it in there.
And so.
That's a pretty cool spy museum story.
Yeah.
It really is.
Yeah.
And then have to hide the knife.
Had the knife.
So great.
Yeah.
It's like your one joke, which we won't tell, but your detective joke.
Oh, yeah.
But it's like, yeah, it's like that yeah it's like i
guess this is this is part of this is part of it this is part of it yeah i went to the mob museum
in las vegas and um pulled in and the parking is really expensive and i was like why are you trying
to shake me down huh is part of it yeah it's part of it 24 yeah 24 tell the gambinos i said hi
yeah different for everybody why didn't the car before me have to pay
well they get a table up front we know them is that museum good that's pretty good yeah with
ari is that the main mob the mob museum yeah that's like the main one yeah yeah there's not
a bunch of them the rest of them are just social clubs yeah yeah yeah that's what we should have
done and we're blowing it with this ha Halloween, but I'll have you back.
A mob episode with him.
He knows a ton about it.
I know all about it.
He loves it.
And I watch all the mob podcasts now.
I love them.
Yeah.
Why don't you do a mob podcast?
Because all the guys are, everybody's doing them.
All the guys who are in it are doing them.
The guys who cooperated, they all have their own podcast.
But I had a guy on who was a
banana um associate soldier and and it was pretty interesting but you get a different fan base then
you get a whole different no but there's a whole genre of people who are just like me looking for
mob yeah yeah yeah uh all right we'll do a i'll figure out you'll be coming back so I'll figure when you come back
we'll do a mob one with you
that's great
because yeah
he knows a lot about it
Halloween
do one thing Halloween
all right
it started
as a
oh my god
all right
let me find another one there
no
do it started
started as a
Celtic festival
during the middle ages
it was called
Samhain or something like that, Samhain.
They basically, their New Year started November 1st,
and they felt like that was the end of summer when everything starts to die,
and they felt like at the New Year, the ancient spirits come back
and walk that one night, the night before the New Year.
So they would start dressing up in costumes to disguise themselves
so the spirits would not realize that they're people.
They think they're other ghosts.
And they would put food out by their door to try to give the spirits
to appease them so they wouldn't try to come in the house.
And they ever – imagine this is your parents doing this.
Like it's not children.
It's your parents they're doing it
and then you go out the next morning and you're like i mean all the food's still here there's a
bunch of fat raccoons laying around everywhere like just they give them like mashed potatoes
and stuff you're like what do they give them what would you give a ghost some light especially
2 000 years ago salad asparagus light light? Well, they're hiding from the ghosts, right?
So they're like, oh, the ghosts won't know if we dress up.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But I mean, then they leave food out for them, which is where the candy is left out.
Right.
It actually makes a ton of sense why Halloween is Halloween now.
It's like basically that's what it is.
But then after a few centuries, our buddy Pope Gregory got involved.
Not the same Pope Gregory,
different Pope Gregory. Which one? Do you know the number?
Pope Gregory III.
And he decreed November 1st
is All Saints Day.
He was trying to change these pagan holidays into religious holidays.
And so,
the night before, or All Hallows Day,
and then the night before is All Hallows Eve.
You know, that's what everybody should do
if you're a Pope, President.
Just do something kind of that will live forever.
The other ones are kind of like, you know, when he probably did that,
they go, that idiot is changing a whole.
That's what you're here to do?
Yeah.
And he's like, let's see what happens.
Yeah.
And his is the most famous thing that no one else remembers anything else.
Right.
So if you're any of these things, they always talk about time zone.
What's the daylight savings time?
Be the president that changes that.
In 100 years, when no one knows nothing that any other president did,
you'll be like, that guy did daylight savings.
And everyone's like, oh, man, good for him or something.
And you look back on it, and he's sitting there like, yeah, yeah.
He's playing to the people.
I like the conversation that Pope Gregory had.
Like, hey, Gregory, can I get a second with you?
Yeah.
You can't do it.
You can't do that.
The second, Pope Greg II came and talked to him.
He goes, hey, what are you doing?
And another guy comes in.
He goes, who's that?
That's Gregory.
I'm assuming probably the fourth if you go through with this um jack-o'-lanterns is an irish myth there's a guy named stingy jack and he made a deal with
the devil not to send him to hell but god didn't want someone so conniving in heaven either so
jack was forced to walk the earth every night with just his lantern.
Oh.
That's nice.
So he wasn't a pumpkin?
Now we buy plastic versions of him.
This guy was real?
Yeah.
No, it was just an Irish myth.
Stingy Jack was his name?
Yeah.
I don't know if I believe in that.
Stingy Jack.
I like how they didn't want to let him into heaven because he was too conniving.
Yeah. Keep an eye on that guy.
But he's so good at being
conniving, he talked himself out of hell.
That's pretty great. He's like,
is he good at it? You're like, pretty solid at it.
I'm not going to talk myself into heaven,
but I got out of the worst for once.
I'd rather be roaming
the earth.
Oh, yeah.
Just walk around and roam the earth
yeah you see everybody purgatory if you believe in it that's a good place for that guy to be
purgatory just stuck in the middle just kind of hanging out yeah right below heaven but not hell
yeah you know i think we're so we're in purgatory now purgatory is a holding pattern isn't it
let's go to the torah on this one we go to the torah it's is a holding pattern, isn't it? Let's go to the Torah on this one.
Can we go to the Torah?
It's just a holding, like planes.
You're just being like,
you just have to be circling,
going, I'm so close to landing.
And I don't want to land.
Some parts of the country celebrate beggar's night.
It's the night before Halloween.
Kind of like mischief night
but this one kids have required to tell a joke poem or perform a trick for their treat oh i like
that that's good i like that a lot make these kids work for yes yeah come up with something yeah
give me some bring something to the table should be something schools do or churches or you know
community centers like they should have stuff like that yeah maybe the night before don't call
it beggars night anymore yeah but yeah i like the spirit of it more like beggars can't be
choosers night yeah right that's pretty good what we give you thank you go to beggar's night where's
it at uh loserville it's at their community center didn't you learn that in the hobo college that you went to? Beggar's night.
The White House is supposedly haunted.
The ghost of Abraham
Lincoln is supposed to roam the White House.
He's been spotted by
Eleanor Roosevelt,
Queen of the Netherlands, and Winston Churchill.
Queen of the Netherlands opened her door and he was
standing there and she fainted.
Winston Churchill got out of a hot bath
and he had nothing but a cigar. He walked into his room and Lincoln was standing there and she fainted. And Winston Churchill got out of a hot bath and he had
nothing but a cigar. And he walked into his room and Lincoln was standing there and he tapped the
ash on the end of the cigar and said, good evening, Mr. President. You seem to have caught me at a
disadvantage. Lincoln smiled softly and then disappeared. Well, that's, I would believe the
other one more than I'd be. Well, Winston Churchill, I think you were drunk. You had like,
A, you're telling me
you were so put together
that you see a ghost
that you go,
oh, you came up with a great line.
On the spot.
Take another drag of your cigar.
Ash, it seems like you called me
at a disadvantage.
And then either that's made up
or Winston Churchill
is the most charming human being
that's ever, which is a possibility the most charming human being that's ever
which is a possibility
I think he was
up there man
I mean
there honestly
might be the most
like just kept
person
that you're like
this guy
was
wonderful
great name
Winston Churchill
great name
and then just
cutting it up
with
saw Abraham last night
eating cereal in the morning
that guy right there is maybe right possibly the greatest person ever
he had one of the greatest comebacks of all time you ever heard that come back some he was talking
to some other world leader a female world leader and she said if i were married to you i would poison your coffee every morning and he just takes a drag of and she said, if I were married to you, I'd poison
your coffee every morning. And he just takes
a drag of a cigar and goes, if I were married to you,
I'd drink it.
It's just off the top of my head.
I mean, this guy is awesome.
That's so...
That's unbelievable. Maybe it's true.
Maybe it's, you know...
I believe Lincoln was still making his rounds.
Yeah. Especially back then. He's got unfinished business. I believe he saw Lincoln. I believe Lincoln was still making his rounds. Yeah.
Especially back then.
He got unfinished business.
That means he left the Fort Theater and went down the street.
Yeah, it's odd. We talked about this.
Ghosts, where do they hang out?
Usually it's where they die, right?
But he walked back to his house after he died, I guess.
Yeah.
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah.
But I guess if you live in the White House.
Maybe it's where you spent most of your time.
You go back to where was the most
impactful point
of your life, and you kind of go back to there.
For some people, it's their house.
For some people, for him, it would be the White House.
So maybe just shoot on over there.
Google the Mary Todd Lincoln
photo with
Lincoln's ghost
behind her. He's behind her?
Oh, wow.
Oh, this...
That's so obviously...
That's real!
Did people think this is a real photo? They did.
Okay. That's one
of the more fake things I've ever seen.
Yeah, it is fake. People thought it was real.
I would say the hands make it fake.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Why'd you do the hands, man?
The hands are too much.
Yeah, the hands are too, you know.
Yeah.
What is she wearing?
He's doing that, like, what's that symbol?
The Hawaii?
Oh.
No, the Hawaii symbol where he's just doing.
The hang ten?
Yeah, hang ten symbol.
And they're like, why did you?
He goes, I thought, well, it's, you know.
What is she dressed in?
That looks like she's playing for Notre Dame.
Yeah, it does look like she's playing for Notre Dame.
Yeah, to be honest with you, I think she could have.
A year ago, we were on the drive-in tour,
and almost on Halloween night, exactly.
We watched the movie Halloween at the movie theater.
One of the best experiences I've ever had on the road.
Really?
Yeah, it was.
Drive-ins are fantastic.
Fantastic.
Drive-in movies.
We were the only ones there.
Yeah.
Drive-in movies are fantastic.
Doing the shows.
The shows were fun at the time.
I would still do some if I could.
Maybe do some summer stuff just for that.
I would do it for the fun experience of the hang.
Did they beep when a joke hit?
Yeah. Chicago did. Were you in Chicago? I wasn were you chicago we didn't do the chicago uh but chicago they when i walked out they did it they honked
it was i mean the best the best dude i'd be like uh set up the rules if it if the joke hits please
honk and if the joke really kills everybody do their wiper fluid at the same time you know let's get some action going
and they go what about the hazards you go i wouldn't mind if those stayed on the whole show
let's just have some energy you know and then if it go from there uh everybody's just getting
sprayed in the car next to them yeah that's what i was thinking they're sitting on their car but we
sat and watched uh yeah the guy it was It was in Louisville, right outside Louisville,
wherever Louisville's driving through here.
Right, LaGrange maybe?
LaGrange.
And then so we sat there, we did the show,
and then we were like leaving, you know, I think the next morning.
So it was like kind of just staying on the bus.
And the guy's like, if you want to watch a movie,
he's like, I can just start a movie.
And like it shuts off on its own.
He had some radios.
We have some folding chairs
and we're like,
well,
that would be unreal,
dude.
And then,
so we sat alone,
like six of us
in a parking lot
watching this big screen
and watched Halloween
and like the first Halloween
and it was,
I mean,
one of the best experiences
because you're just like,
you're walking around that and you're like, it's so big of an area you're just alone we're all sitting
next to each other and you're just like you're outside outside it'd be great if you had a grill
you did it like a tailgate yeah right I would want to do it yeah I would do that to be like just have
a drive-in if you could rent a drive-in theater for a day and just be like we'll have tailgates and we all just watch this movie and i mean i don't think you have that many people
you just kind of keep it kind of like tight and then be like we're have we're eat dinner we're
eat lunch and dinner out here and we'll watch eight movies yeah and that would be the funnest
thing ever yeah it'd be fun it was fun the movie halloween was shot on such a tight budget
that for mike myers mask they went and bought a two dollar star trek captain kirk mask they spray
painted it and reshaped the eye holes so what he was wearing was a william shatner captain kirk
mask william shatner man he's in uh yeah that's crazy and. That's the best. And then William Shatner.
I don't know if anybody thinks about it.
I think he could have been the most famous person.
He's up there.
Yeah.
Shatner?
Dude, the fact that the most famous Halloween movie is a mask of his face.
I don't think people know that that's him.
Yeah. I don't, but know that that's him I don't
but like
it's one of those
that you
that you sneak in
and you start talking to him
and like his name
just comes up more
and you're like
you were in
that's your face
that's him first thing
in the morning
right
yeah
are we not doing that anymore
he's going up
in some spaceship
with
yeah
yeah
William Shatner yeah still doing it I mean it's just like kind of like he's going up in some spaceship with uh yeah yeah yeah william shatner is yeah still doing
it i mean it's just like kind of like he's just a dude that was like i guess i mean star trek was i
didn't ever watch star trek uh but star trek was the biggest thing on earth yeah and so that made
him big but so it's like but it's crazy just to think he weirdly came at a good time the idea
that you're like where's that mask come from and you're like
oh that's actually
William Shatner's face
you'd be like
that's pretty crazy
that's pretty crazy
and you're like
he was
so when they made this
he was the biggest
he was on a very famous
episode of the Twilight Zone
where he sees a gremlin
out on the
end of the
wing of the plane
right
yeah
the Twilight Zones
by the way
are just the best
yeah
the old ones
yeah did you type in William Shatner mhm The Twilight Sons, by the way, are just the best. The old ones.
Yeah.
Did you type in William Shatner?
Mm-hmm.
With his name?
Yeah, so you can see this is how they got there.
Yeah. See the resemblance.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy, man.
Yeah.
It's the same face.
But I would have never known that never in a million
no yeah i bet people i bet there's people that go god you know it reminds me of william shatner
like you know i wonder if people really thought that that's not a good picture of him no it's not
you know it's a great picture of him on the right. Yeah. He's on the left.
That's him with high blood pressure.
On the right's with low blood pressure.
Yes.
Or gout.
Boom.
All right.
This is too much.
No, it is.
Yeah.
All right.
Originally, with trick-or-treaters, they did not give out candy.
They gave out pieces of cake, fruit, nuts, coins, and little toys.
Now those people would be psychos.
Yeah.
You went somewhere and they go, you want some fruit?
There are always those people in the neighborhood, though.
There would always be somebody, I got some apples.
And you're like, oh, thanks. I'd get an apple.
Yeah.
Toothbrush.
We had a dentist.
Yeah.
And he would always give toothbrush.
Yeah.
I think you should just show up dressed, your kid regular,
and knock at the door and go, what are you dressed as?
And the kid goes, I'm a vegan.
I can't have anything with any dairy in it.
And then just lay out your dietary preferences.
Oh, I bet that's the.
That'd be a trick.
I bet Beverly Hills, like you get those kids.
I know you guys were going to say that.
It probably happens on the coasts, right?
Oh, yeah.
It's just fly over territory here, huh?
Yeah.
I don't think it happens in New York, but I think in California, definitely.
I mean, I think you could go to some places and you're like,
it's all like grown candy or something.
You know, it's pumpkin seeds or it's something weird.
And you're like, you know, everything's from Trader Joe's
and it's just some awful candy.
And they're like, I bet, oh, I would love to go.
Would you ever go to a good neighborhood?
Yes.
We'd go to my grandparents' neighborhood.
We'd always go there and trick-or-treat.
Yeah.
Would you say your grandfathered in?
I was kidding.
That's pretty sweet.
Yeah.
They, it was good.
The people that got it, got it.
they uh it was good the people that got it got it uh and they uh it would be yeah we'd go to uh there's a there's a neighborhood here brandy one point and that was a big one to go to and uh
because it was like where all the like rich people lived and i mean there you know it's like then you
go there and they give you like a full candy bar yeah i always think that's what you want to give because you're like i was such a big deal yeah to be like dude they give you a full
candy bar that's so crazy but now you get so much candy i mean it's it's i don't know you get but a
full-size candy bar so much more satisfying than the same amount of camp but in little fun sizes
you want the one you want the. And you know that that person-
Cares.
Cares.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something beautiful about it, man.
According to candystore.com, which I bet Nate has already bookmarked.
Skittles were the top Halloween candy last year.
All by Reese's Cup and Starburst.
I would say because Starburst is kind of surprising.
I think Starburst is one of my favorite candies
yeah but it's an insult
to give somebody
one Starburst
talk about
I bet they bought
those little packs
how many are in a little pack
I don't know
it sounds like the most
thing that was sold
was this pack
that has Skittles
Reapsy and Starburst
in them
but it was
M&M's are just a classic
and you get those
little bags you go buy them and i mean
it's just it's just a a giant classic it's an easy one to give everybody starbursts knowing
they would ever say about starbursts the only thing they haven't done that i wish they would
is you know it's all wrapped yeah and like it's kind of annoying and so then they came out with
the unwrapped but it's little and i don't like the
little ones so you're like give me some big unwrapped starburst do normal unwrapped like
why if you can do the little ones what's so risky about throwing big ones in there i just always
think why do they always right are they do they get dirty or something they're in a package uh
in a oh yeah you don't go buy starbucks like in a bowl right
and you go i'm glad these are wrapped they're they're wrapped in the package so like and they
have doesn't it have like a christmas feel to it nate yeah it's like your opening stuff it's like
oh it's a gift yeah it's like a tiny little if you're reasonable and eat one that's how you can
take it but if you're gonna to pound two sticks of them.
Oh, you don't like the fact that you have to unwrap each of them?
When you're eating like that, you get a little lazy about those kind of things.
Because that's, you know, you're like, you're getting, you're wasting my time.
Wasting your time or burning calories?
Wasting my time. Okay.
And I would usually, I'll unwrap a bunch of them before I even eat.
Oh, right.
So then I can just enjoy them. I'll be like, all right, well, you know what? I'll get my work done of them before I even eat oh right so then
I can just enjoy them
I'll be like
alright well you know what
I'll get my work done now
push them together
yeah
I don't even push them together
I'm just
I'm getting my work done now
lay them all out
set them strategically
on your blood sugar machine
yeah
and then conquer
yeah
what do you think
compromise
have them stacked up
like one of these
lifesaver rolls
like one of these
and then you could just open them and then they're not individually wrapped,
but they're still put together like that.
Lifesavers are so good.
Put together like that.
Man, lifesavers are so good.
That's an old candy that's like, they did it.
Holds up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you check your kids' candy after trick-or-treating?
Yeah.
What do you look for?
I always wonder, what do you look for weird stuff?
Razor blades.
Yeah.
They always say that. Do you have any of that stuff? Razor blades. Yeah. They always said that.
Do you have any of that stuff?
I do.
All right, go to that.
Yeah, that's, can you go?
Yeah.
So paranoia about tainted candy spiked in the early 80s after a rash of Tylenol poisonings,
which cyanide-laced Tylenol was found on store shelves.
Do you remember this?
Yeah.
I do remember.
It's a crate.
It was a huge thing.
Before this, they didn't
have childproof now any now any medicine you open there's also a seal back then you could just take
the top off put something in and put it back on the shelf yeah which is kind of crazy to think
about now and so they put stuff in to kill people kill people it was just you go somewhere by
tylenol it was like yeah yep wow but did those people have a headache afterwards? No, they didn't.
They were dead.
Technically worked.
I feel terrible, but I also feel great.
And then die.
But most of it's just rumors about razor blades and all that.
It's rarely, rarely, rarely.
It has happened before.
One guy killed his own kids, I think, taking out insurance on them.
There's an insurance for that? I like to take out insurance on my kid yeah yeah it's like
are you gonna kill him halloween no no we've got a rough neighborhood to trick or treat in
i like the idea of just uh getting packages of gillette razor blades that aren't open razors
the tire shavers and giving them to the kids be like i'm being upfront about this here you're gonna i want you to use it when you're older to shave but then have but put
press star bus starburst on the blades he's like is there razors in this you go it looks like a
starburst to me you're like i know but i'm holding the razor thing and he's just like
he's like no he's so mad he's just not good at it like he's like
it's it's not those are rumors he yells at his all rumors yells at his wife because you know he goes
we left the things in the handle i don't think that's how it works why did you give me the
shaving cream yeah also if there's no razors. Yeah. Honey!
The razors is like, I do check their, we do check their candy.
You're just looking for like, see if it's already opened or something like that.
Seeing what the candy is.
I mean, some of it too is just out of matter of like when they're little or you don't want them to choke.
So you kind of point out the stuff you think that you just like trying to be safe.
But I would do, you want something?
What about a neighbor who just injects performance enhancing drugs into all the candy and then that you're just like trying to be safe. But I would do, you want something?
What about a neighbor who just injects performance-enhancing drugs into all the candy and then just gives it to the kids
and then you have a neighborhood of champions?
Yeah.
They win state.
And he just goes and he's standing at the end.
He's by himself at the Philgo post leaning on it
because you can't and they're just dominating.
And no one knows why.
You can't tell anybody.
You can't tell anybody. You can't tell anybody.
But he knows.
But he knows.
Yeah.
And then no one figures it out.
And then like the year
he moved away,
they're like,
we did not win a game.
What happened?
And then they just
finally figure it out.
Yeah.
American spend estimated
six billion annually on Halloween.
It's the second largest commercial holiday after Christmas.
I love it, man.
Oh, my God.
Halloween's so fun.
But the kids, it's, I mean, it's just.
I didn't even know anybody trick-or-treated.
I thought you guys just had parties now.
Because trick-or-treating is, like, so dangerous.
Truck-or-treat now, right?
A lot of those.
I thought it was just everybody had parties,
and you just bring candy to the parties,
and everybody does that.
That would be fun.
But no, the kids still, our neighborhood does it.
I mean, you've got neighborhoods.
The neighborhoods that are cool to do it in,
ours is a lot of kids in this neighborhood.
I mean, these families, the family neighborhoods, yeah,
on the streets of Brooklyn where you live or Manhattan,
yeah, I'm sure there is stuff like that.
But in everywhere else America, the coast coast if you're not in the coast right
you're in the rest of the country which is all of the country real uh real america yeah real
solid and i like the eye contact as you're talking down to me yeah for those of you just listening to
this nate is making eye contact wow yeah condescending me go ahead make yeah well i
want to make sure you're getting it. Yeah.
Yeah.
Because people on the coast don't get it?
They... You know they don't.
By horses.
By horses.
High horses.
High horses.
They're on their high horses.
We're on their high horses.
So we have great trick-or-treating in this neighborhood,
and everybody goes around the house,
and we always go around it.
And so I always actually ask off for Halloween.
Like, I don't ask.
I mean, I tell my agents I don't want to work.
I know.
I always think of it as like a boss.
Like, I'm like, hey, can I get off?
I do email them like that.
I go, you want to get off on Halloween?
They're like, yeah.
Yeah, just don't do a show.
Yeah, just don't.
I'm like, that's cool, man.
Appreciate it.
You always work.
Like, you kind of like always got a boss.
And then we – and so I always ask off because it's so fun.
Like I love – you know, it's fun to get a do.
It's fun to get to go watch them, and it's just great.
Do you wear a costume?
Do you dress up?
We did when she was little.
Sometimes now she will ask me to, and I can usually be like I'm a Vandy coach,
and I just wear Vandy stuff.
That's a good one.
Don't even change? Yeah stuff but don't even change yeah i don't even change yeah i go i'm a i'm a i'll be a golfer and she's like that's a great idea and i just wear exactly i think the vandy is great if you
wear these yeah that would be good as you're like the i'm the offensive coordinator yeah
yeah and then uh that is scary that is good so that. When we were little, we dressed up like Paw Patrol, Rubble.
And she was like, I forget who she liked, Sky or something.
She liked one of them.
So me and my wife were the other two.
What's she going as this year?
I don't know.
She's thinking.
She's in between.
She said that was one thing we talked about the other night.
I think either zombie softball player, which is she's in between she said that was one thing we talked about the other night uh either i think either zombie softball player which is she's playing softball which is the classic
you switch into like kind of you want to be like a scary kind of thing or a horse
can i make a suggestion that's pretty that's pretty the gambit there how about um a crossing
guard because you're not a cop.
Okay, it's not a superhero.
You're just down home, working class.
Yeah.
You're a crossing guard.
Yeah.
But you carry a flask around.
You have a little bit of a drinking problem.
Yeah.
For him or for Harper?
Harper.
Harper.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because you're only working from eight to like nine, and then you're working from three
to 3.30.
Right.
So the rest of the day, you got to give yourself a little bit of a backstory yeah and
you're lonely that's better yeah you're lonely out there just went through a crippling divorce
right she can just wobble as she walks to the door she's like she trips and he's like
oh drinker treater tricker like yeah and then you're like and i'm just behind her like, are you a drunk
crossing guard?
Oh.
The top
costumes for kids, Spider-Man,
Princess, Batman,
Witch Ghost, Zombie.
Yeah, Witch Ghost.
Witch Ghost.
Which ghost are you talking about?
Witch and the ghost. Aaronaron i'll give it that yeah a lot of people didn't give it that yeah does holly go uh we
walk her she walks like we're we're bringing her with her i mean she might throw something on her
you know it's nothing too crazy it's not be you know physically legal hat i've been calling the
dog ollie the entire time i realized the dog was holly have you said ollie the holly i've been calling ollie like muhammad
yeah i thought it was o-l-l-i-e yeah muhammad ollie ollie joe prater the great is a great uh
old comedian that if i ever uh five i was on on Foxworthy, worked with him,
just the best stories alive about this guy.
He was so fat that they would,
they'd have to put him on stage before the show.
And so he would just sit on stage
and there would just be a blanket laying over him.
And the other opening acts had to do comedy in front of him.
And Foxworthy was one of them.
And then he goes, there's a great book, which I don't know if I don't,
I can't find, what's that book telling stories from the road or something?
Yeah.
It's a great book.
I'll find it.
I used to have it.
I think I gave it to someone.
It's just all these old comics telling these horror stories of the road.
And they're so, dude, I mean, I laughed so hard when I read it.
It was Ollie Joe Prater.
And he would do that.
And when it was his turn, they would just pull the blanket like they're revealing a new car.
And they just pull it.
He's just sitting there smoking.
He's been smoking cigarettes the whole time.
He's drunk.
Just yell at the crowd.
They'd usually leave.
He'd just sit up there.
He never walked off.
He's just one of those old school comics that were like a legend
in maybe not the best way, but a legend in just so funny.
I mean, so crazy.
Just like, I'll show him, dude.
Like, it's just that attitude.
And, I mean, there's a blanket on him.
Do you address it as the opener?
What's the move there? I think it's obvious. I mean, you see his blanket on him. Do you address it as the opener? What's the, what's the move?
I think it's obvious.
I mean,
you can see his head and shoulder,
like their blanket comes over.
There's smoke coming out of it.
Yeah.
It's kind of coming underneath it.
Like my dad said,
there was a magician.
They had to do that too.
Cause he was just really big and they had to put them up there before.
And you just sit up there and they just have something.
He just sits there the whole show.
And then they reveal them.
And even when they reveal them, he's in a chair.
So if they revealed him and he could stand up a little bit,
it would at least be like, oh, maybe he came up from the back.
But when they reveal him and he's in a chair, you're like,
I think he's been back there the whole time.
Yeah.
The whole audience realizes it.
I mean, this was like 80s.
You know, this is when it was just chaos.
Pretty great.
Some popular Halloween costumes this year for adults.
Beth Harmon from the Queen's Gamut.
Jeff Bezos in space.
Ted Lasso.
Carol Baskin.
Joe Exotic.
Dr. Fauci.
What about Britney?
Britney's always a big one, but with the conservatorship,
you could have a handcuff to a mannequin and be like,
that's my dad.
That's Pete B. in Harvard.
Yeah.
Or you be the conservatorship, and then you got a doll,
and you handcuff the doll to you.
You go, who's that?
That's Brittany Spears.
I'm the man that makes the calls around here.
And he goes, does she want candy?
You go, no, she doesn't, but i'll take her candy and you take
all her candy that's great yeah uh are you off this this year for i think so i might be it's
halloween is sunday so i don't know is are they going saturday that's always like are they going
saturday they're gonna go sunday uh i might have to if it's Saturday, I'll probably come home. If not, I might – because I'm in Columbus on the 29th,
and that's Saturday, 21 Pilots are playing in Columbus.
So I was going to stay and go to that.
But if they do Halloween, then I'll just go home.
But hopefully if Halloween's Sunday, then I'll just come home Sunday.
So another alternative, Airbnb is renting out the
Scream House for three nights.
Ooh.
October 27th, 29th, and
31st. Where is it? I think it's in
Oregon or
Washington State or something like that. What's the Scream House?
The house from the movie Scream.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, dude. I would love it.
No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I would love it.
You'd love to do it?
Yeah.
They can settle in for a VHS movie marathon of screen films with a snack pack, Jiffy Pop
included.
Is that from the movie?
Yeah.
You'll get a direct call on the home phone from Ghostface himself.
Oh, man.
I think it said David Arquette.
Is he the sheriff?
Yeah.
I think he greets you or something.
Oh, my God.
You may have to do this.
I like the idea.
How much is it?
It's $5, I think.
Really?
It's kind of like that Blockbuster thing.
It's not about the money.
It's just about the promotion and who gets to do it.
Yeah.
I would love it.
I wonder if they rent it out.
Oh, Scream House.
It's there.
Yeah.
Oh, I would love it I wonder if they rent it out Oh Scream House It's there yeah Oh I would love that Wow
Oh gosh
Doesn't have the price on here
Five dollars a night
Oh five dollars a night
Pretty cool
So you gotta win it
Yeah I think so
Oh man
I would love it
What are the nights
27th, 29th and 31st
Oh I can't even do it.
Yeah.
I wonder if you can ever rent that house out on its own.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
An artist's 20th anniversary, and they're doing a new one in 2022.
Yeah, I think it comes out in January.
Really?
Oh, no.
That's so exciting.
I love Scream. really oh no that's so exciting i love scream scream is the last horror movie i thought that it wasn't about the goriness it was like i mean there's blood and stuff but it was just
a good it was like the perfect horror movie for me where it wasn't like too gross and then you
got into sauls the first song was cool then after that it just got like we were talking about that
like yeah in one like a guy's mouth gets ripped off, and you're like, all right, dude.
Like, I can't.
I don't need to see that.
I can't.
This is too much.
Allude to it.
Allude to it.
And so Scream was just my favorite.
And then, you know, oh, man, I love that.
What was the one in the woods that was in the low budget?
Blair Witch.
Blair Witch.
That was great, too.
Blair Witch.
Everybody thought it was real.
That was a great one. That was a super fun one to watch. And that was like, too. Everybody thought it was real. That was a great one.
That was a super fun one to watch.
And that was like, you're like, is this real?
I mean, because this was the first time, you know, it's crazy to think.
People don't realize it.
You would think it's fake now.
But when you're first watching that, you're like, well, who films themselves?
Right.
And you're like, they were doing it.
The only time you thought you filmed yourself was like, something like that could have happened.
And so it was such a good that could have happened. Yeah.
And so it was such a good.
Documentary style.
Yeah.
Found footage.
Found footage.
And you were like, this is real, dude.
Like, you know.
And so they just did it really good.
Man, I love the idea of that.
That's great.
I need to watch all the screams.
I'm going to rewatch them.
Ooh, this month they would have a scream night on the bus and we go through them all yeah
i don't think you're back until november right no i'm not back on yeah remember
so hopefully there'll be some thanksgiving movies you could force us to watch yeah
play he's chasing album yeah you'll be fasting for thanksgiving yeah you'll be sitting above
the couch floating because he sits and that's where he meditates
and he raises up a little bit.
And we have to sit and everybody's got to,
on the bus go, be quiet everybody.
He's listening for a train car in the distance.
All right.
We were talking about Blair Witches.
Witches have been around since at least biblical times.
It was in the Bible.
King Saul sought the witch
of Endor to summon the dead prophet Samuel's
spirit, and she did.
He prophesied about the death of Saul
and his sons.
That didn't work out too well.
Then in Exodus... What about the Salem
witch trials? Well, I'm getting
there. I'm sorry.
If he started with witch stuff
and he went Bible first,
you think he's going to work up to it?
Not talking about the most famous witch of all time?
I just think Blackboard went after me.
Blackboard did that to you.
I think he went after me.
Bubble, bubble.
Bubble, bubble?
That's what I would call you.
There was a...
Is that a word?
There was a book written in the 15th century called i can't pronounce it malius malefacarum translates the hammer of witches it was basically
a guide on how to identify hunt and interrogate witches and it spread throughout europe as a way
to spot witches for more than 100 years it was sold more copies of any book in Europe except the Bible. Wow.
And then... How to spot witches.
Yeah.
Well, like when somebody
comes to your door
dressed like a witch,
you go,
that's it.
You have a black hat.
Clean skin, broom.
There's a broom.
Yeah.
Kids don't want to go
old school anymore.
Yeah.
Like when you tell them
to dress up,
like you're like,
what about a witch
or a ghost?
Yeah.
Like they're all kind of like,
eh, dude.
Or a crossing guard
with a drinking problem. I'll be honest with you. You don't want to go old school? I think that's a good one. about a witch or a ghost or like they're all kind of like yeah we're crossing guard with the
drinking problem i'll be honest you don't want to go old i think that's a good one i bet that's an
adult one that would be a great adult part like a real just then you just go and you drink and
become that problem and you go what are you crying i'm a crossing guard that the parents complain
about yeah you have a whistle would you have a whistle? Would you have a whistle? My mom was a crossing guard. You have a whistle, and then you tell them, or you go, guess what I am, and then they
have 15 seconds, which is as much time as it takes to cross the street to guess it.
Yeah.
My mom was a crossing guard.
Okay.
Well, did that hit too close to home for you, Nate?
Yeah.
She wasn't drunk, but she did it.
She loved it.
Yeah. All right. So now we she did it. She loved it. Yeah.
All right.
Now we're up to the Salem witch trial.
150 people accused.
All right, Brian.
Don't give me a glare.
We're up to the Salem witch trial now.
Make sure you're listening.
Call them bankrupt.
Yeah.
That's like Brian.
Who's Brian?
Yeah.
18 people were put to death.
That's a shame.
Yeah.
The most famous witch of that time was-
Bathsheba.
No.
No, come on.
Oh, for me?
No, is that what her name is?
Bathsheba?
Nope, Grace Sherwood.
It's a very normal name.
It sounds like Grace Sherwood.
Johnny Bitch.
Her neighbors accused her of being a witch.
The court decided to use the controversial water test to determine her guilt or innocence.
They bound her arms and legs, and she was thrown into a body of water.
They thought if she sank, she was innocent.
If she floated, she was guilty.
She did not sink, so she was convicted of being a witch.
Why didn't she sink?
Just because.
I guess she was just really floating and just really buoyant yeah yeah well that's someone would do that you give
her time she's gonna sink yeah well so maybe so what we're getting this is she was a witch and
they nailed it i like it they just didn't like her as a neighbor and they're like she's a witch
yeah doesn't cut her lawn because i don't anything, but a lot of brooms over there.
Have you heard the theory that the reason so many people were accusing other women of being witches back then is there was a late frost when they were harvesting wheat or something.
Where it manipulated the crops in some way that there was a psychoactive chemical in the wheat for a certain amount
of time.
Yeah.
So essentially, all these villages, they were just tripping out of their minds.
And they had no idea what was happening.
I thought you were going to say you're going to blame the poor harvest.
You had to blame it on somebody.
Yeah.
So why not these backwards women?
I think they just-
I got bored during some of that.
Are you kidding me?
That was less than a minute, and I just thought it.
I think that's amazing.
They were all tripping like they were on LSD.
I don't think I believe that.
All right.
I don't think the whole town is.
I've never heard that.
Because they thought witches were everywhere.
So every town, this is just about Salem?
I think they went off in Salem.
They were just a little too much.
But every other town, they can track that it was down
they were all next to farms.
I think it's just
Salem.
But witches have been around forever.
Well, that's why they knew
what the idea of witches were.
They were just tripping. And then they go crazier and that's
why they stepped it up a notch.
That's why they took it to the next level.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't...
You don't believe it?
No.
I wish I knew more about it to defend it, but that's pretty much all I have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There are werewolves.
They're real, too.
A guy named Peter Stubb was a wealthy 15th century farmer in Germany.
He's the most notorious werewolf out there.
According to folklore, he turned
into a wolf-like creature at night and devoured many
citizens of Bedburg.
He was blamed for gruesome killings
and people said they saw him
shapeshift from a wolf to human form.
He experienced a grisly execution
after confessing under torture
to being a werewolf.
He declared he owned an enchanted
belt that gave him the power to transform into a wolf. But not his, he owned an enchanted belt that gave him the power
to transform into a wolf.
But not surprisingly,
the belt was never found.
I wonder if he could be a werewolf
and then you'd be like,
but he's a rescue.
Yeah.
So we'll let him live.
Yeah, we'll let him.
So he did kill people?
He confessed to it,
but he was being tortured.
Yeah, yeah. So they just thought it was him. Right. I mean, man, just, I mean, so he did kill people he confessed to it but he was being tortured yeah yeah
they just thought it was him
I mean man that's the crazy
that old
turns out he's Italian
yeah
oh they think back on it and let it go
that makes sense
alright let's hit it
just gotta go back to normal life
can you imagine you go to another town that's like farther along than them?
And you go,
we killed a werewolf in our town.
And they're like,
good night.
And they go,
what are these people?
You go to like a New York city,
you know,
I don't know if New York is there,
but you go to like,
you know,
a nice town.
That's like,
we'll have people in libraries and they're reading books.
I would be from this town that killed this werewolf.
And I walk in, we killed a werewolf the other night.
And they're like, what?
And you're like, you had a belt.
And he goes, well, did you grab the belt?
Because that'd be pretty cool to have.
No, I think we couldn't find it.
And we kind of gave up.
We enjoyed killing them, though.
What are you guys reading?
According to a study conducted at Australia's
Calvary Newcastle Hospital,
a full moon brings out the beast in many of their patients.
Of the 91 violent incidents that happened at the hospital,
a quarter of them happened during full moons.
Patients attacked staff and displayed a wolf-like behavior such as biting, spitting
And scratching
That's also when they bill you
Yeah
The prices are outrageous
Come on
My insurance doesn't kick in
Can you not cash this check till Monday?
Yay Can you not cash this check till Monday? Hey!
Vampires.
Dracula was a real dude.
Count Dracula.
His real name was Vlad Dracula, or Vlad the Impaler.
He was from Transylvania.
They went with it.
Yeah.
He killed people with a wooden stake.
But according to legend, he enjoyed dining amongst his dying victims, dipping his bread in their blood.
And they think that's where Bram Stoker's Dracula came from.
What a high carb life.
This guy had a family?
I guess. I don't know. what makes you say that that painting oh
of him uh beautiful wife and daughter there's them getting married man or shaking hands yeah
that's like how was he at home he go i mean he was great. He was pretty normal. He was a great father.
A tentative husband.
We wouldn't see him until dinner.
Maybe if we got up early for breakfast, we'd see him.
But out of the way, supportive.
On the news, yeah, when they interview the neighbors, it's always that.
They go, how was he?
Good guy. I went through a phase where i was doing late night
jogging i'd see him all of those nights but outside of that i never really saw him uh felt
him felt his i would feel his uh existence they always ask you the direct question too
did you ever see him take bread and dip it into someone's blood and then eat it never saw it
and they go and then they get mad at that person they go well you should
have saw it coming that's when they do that with everybody every parent i always feel a little bad
with the parents of like like jeffrey dahmer's parents or all these serial killer parents
and they ask them like you didn't see any of this and you're like i don't like you don't think your
kid yeah it's like winning the lottery you don't think you can ever win the lottery you don't think
your kid could ever be a serial killer yeah and like they had the kids in columbine they're like
well i mean you know they're like emo kid you're like i mean they're one out of i don't know
thousands of emo kids that don't kill people thousands and thousands of them yeah and so
you're like you just don't think your kid could be the one and i always kind of feel a little bad
for the parents because everybody's like mad at them and you're like, you just don't think your kid could be the one. And I always kind of feel a little bad for the parents because everybody's like mad at
them.
And you're like, dude, do you think I would have stopped this?
Yeah.
Like I wouldn't have, you know, I mean, if they treated the kid bad and made him grow
up in that environment, then that's one thing.
But if it's sometimes it's just like a parent that's like, I don't, I didn't know what he
was doing.
Like, you know, sometimes it'd be older parents.
They're like, I don't even know what that music is saying.
Yeah.
Right.
I can't hear it.
Ghost. Older parents are like, I don't even know what that music is saying. Yeah. Right. I can't hear it. Yeah. Ghost, the most famous ghost in America, right here.
Casper.
The Bell Witch.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
You went a different direction.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Bell Witch.
Do you know the Bell Witch?
Mm-mm.
Her name was Kate Batts, and she's very I mean, very close to like 30 miles from here.
Yeah.
Probably.
You can go over there.
Yeah.
There's been movies made about it.
Some people think the Blair Witch was kind of part of that came from her story, but she
haunted this family in the 1800s, and you can still go do a tour there now.
Andrew Jackson supposedly went there.
Did they get to the bottom of like, I like the, oh, she's been haunting this family for
so long, but did they get to the bottom of like, I like that, oh, she's been haunting this family for so long,
but did they get to the bottom of like,
why?
What her problem?
Yeah.
I think John Bell cheated her out of some land maybe.
That was the dad of the house
and she really messed with him.
She ended up poisoning him
and I think one of his daughters,
she really didn't like
and messed with her.
Did he die?
I think so, yeah.
From the poisoning? From the witch? i think so yeah from the poisoning from the witch
i think so so she was alive and they said she was a witch but she was just like a neighbor
no when she was alive she was just a regular person i think yeah kate batts and then after
she died i think she came back and haunted him supposedly because maybe he and he got poisoned and back then they just go
that makes sense it's the witch and then his wife lived a happy life because she poisoned
her husband and said these idiots think it's a witch i'm not saying i want it to be a witch
uh but it's kind of crazy like that doesn't make sense like you know so he got poisoned
and he died i believe so uh no one he had paralysis in his mouth they think now probably
it was bell's palsy but the time they thought she gave it to him well this makes a lot more sense
so what was the poisoning i think that's something. Yeah. In 1986, a staff writer for the Tennessean and a photographer visited the Bellwitch Cave,
which you can still go to today.
And they saw so many weird things going on and heard so many weird noises, they left.
They would not stay for the night.
So that was at night when they went.
Mm-hmm.
Let's go to Bellwitch Cave and stay for the night.
Would y'all go? That's the new Kris Cave and save for the night. Would you all go?
That's the new Krispy Kreme challenge.
Yeah, would you do it?
I would do it, 100%.
I would love it.
100%, I'd do it.
Maybe we can do it.
Maybe we can set it up and they'd let us go do it.
Team Bellwitch, people listening.
People got to run that place, right?
Yeah.
And we're not going to tell you when we're doing it,
because I don't want a bunch of people showing up.
Scaring us.
Just making it worse.
I'm trying to handle that night to begin with.
And I don't want a bunch of folks just coming down, banging on this cave.
And I'm like, Brian runs out with his shirt off, covering his chest.
He goes, I can't do it.
No, you just hear a weird noise.
Dude, if Brian came out of the cave with no shirt on, and you're like, he slept with no shirt on in there?
Like with just us?
And like, he's wearing, he's sleeping like he's normal sleeping.
We're sleeping in jeans and a coat, and Brian gets ready for real bad.
He has to bring a generator, plug his CPAP machine in,
and he goes, all right, good night.
An extension cord that runs the springfield.
Yeah, it runs the springfield.
That's how they find us.
And he goes, good night, everybody.
And he says, good night, folks. And he says, good night, folks.
And you're like, just go to bed, man.
We're all in here.
Got a nightcap.
Yeah.
I say, I wonder if we can do that.
If some reason, if someone from Bellwitch is listening,
will they let us go stay there?
I don't know if you can stay there.
Or if you can, though.
I don't know if you can either. Yeah. If not, i don't know if you can't either yeah if not we'll just go visit it yeah that'd be great yeah it'd be fun a couple more ghosts the lady in red of huntington college this is in montgomery
alabama oh you know this i know yeah the red lady uh oh the red lady okay well she uh she was from
new york she went to college in Alabama, her parents sent her.
She didn't like Alabama.
Who does?
She didn't fit in there.
My wife.
She's from there.
Me.
I'm from there, too.
Aaron's from there.
No.
I can't turn it down.
I can't turn it down.
Still feels good.
Still feels good.
Even when it's against you, you're like, I kind of like it.
I like this guy.
This guy's a lot of fun.
Everyone tried to befriend her, but she just didn't fit in there.
I doubt that part of the story.
Yeah.
Everyone tried to invite her to stuff.
Where's she at?
We killed her.
But, I mean, we were, you know, asked her to go out with us.
She just never wanted to.
Her father was the lobster claw guy.
Lobster boy?
Lobster boy.
So she ended up jumping out of a window and killing herself.
But now she roams the, I guess, the school there.
Well, I don't, yeah, I definitely don't believe.
You don't do that if everybody's going,
we were trying to make her come out and hang out with us.
Where were they at?
Huntington College in Montgomery, Alabama.
And so they have her dorm room blocked off,
and it's like a historical site on the college now.
Can you go see it?
You can go, but you can't live there now, obviously.
He wants to sleep there.
He wants to sleep every haunted place for one night.
I would go look at hauntings.
I love the idea of hauntings.
I'll watch that stuff.
How about she jumps out of the window in a red dress
and guy just walks by and goes, roll tide.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess she was really a fan.
Roll tide.
Then the guy's like, worry, worry, worry.
And then they fight about it.
And then the guy, the guy that poisoned that tree becomes a ghost.
Harvey Updike?
Yeah.
I just got too much Bama in me.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you heard this guy?
Uh-uh.
He's a crazy Alabama fan.
He poisoned some trees.
Not some trees.
So Auburn has a main tree in the QR4.
Yeah, it's a famous thing.
And it's a big, big tree.
Been there for hundreds of years.
And they would roll it with toilet paper after every win.
And I think every win.
So it was a big tradition.
It's been going on forever.
And Auburn beat Alabama.
And an old man that's a big Alabama fan went and poisoned the tree.
That's crazy.
The tree's gone.
Who loses a football game and goes
time to go see an arborist what's his name that guy harvey updike not to defend him but his
argument was they they had disrespected paul bear bryant by taping a scam newton jersey to as he
calls it a cam newton jersey to the statue of paul bear bryant so he said i'm gonna repay that by
by doing poisoning the trees.
Yeah, it's like you're like, so you cut the jersey.
I would think, I look at that as being like scam Newton or whatever.
Scam Newton's against him.
Yeah, he's an Alabama fan.
Auburn fans taped a scam.
Well, they call it Cam Newton.
He called it a scam Newton jersey.
It was a Cam Newton jersey.
Yeah, yeah.
But you want to go, that's the point of shenanigans in college.
Yeah.
And this is why you're an adult and you should not be.
Well, he named his kids Bear Bryant.
Yeah.
And he has a daughter named Allie Bama.
Yeah.
So it's clearly.
It all makes sense now.
He admits he's like.
Now it's starting to come into focus.
He's like, my priorities are not right.
Yeah.
He said that in an interview.
He's like, I'm not right yeah he said that interview he's
like i'm not healthy yeah now does he go to prison in like a log cabin or yeah what do they do to him
uh he lives in mud now yeah he died did he did die last year yeah oh really right after we talked
about him on the podcast oh yeah did he go to uh did he go to prison yeah he went to prison he
admitted it on paul feinbaum's yeah that was the only reason. No one would have known that the tree was poisoned.
He could have got away with it.
Right.
Because how would you ever know that the tree was poisoned?
And then he calls and says, I poisoned the tree.
He called in the most popular sports radio show in the South.
He was like, I'm going to tell you what I did.
Yeah.
Right.
I responded.
I poisoned the tree.
Crazy story.
I think that's a new show.
Nature court.
Yeah.
You bring the tree in, and he's got to talk to the tree,
and the tree's got a lawyer.
And you have the lawyer standing next to the tree.
He goes, you see my tree?
It's a tradition of 100 years.
And then that guy's just got to sit over there with his lawyer,
and his lawyer's an Auburn grad.
And he's like, this ain't fair.
And his lawyer's an Auburn grad.
And he's like, this ain't fair.
Resurrection Mary is a well-known Chicago ghost.
She's also called the Vanishing Hitchhiker.
People see her walking down the street. They pick her up to give her a ride.
She gets to this cemetery and says, can you let me off here?
And then she gets out of the car and she vanishes into the cemetery.
That's pleasant.
I'd like to do that with her.
Like she's like a level-headed ghost.
She's not trying to bother you.
Yeah.
She needs a ride.
She gives you a cool experience.
She's basically like, I give you a good time.
But doesn't pay, you know?
That's true.
Take an Uber.
Take a Lyft.
Yeah.
Maybe she started doing that.
We'll visit her too.
Yeah, we'll visit her.
We'll pick her up.
So we'll visit Resurrection, the Bellwitch Cave,
or if you're a
college girl in montgomery alabama we could come stay at your dorm right
yeah is that it yeah i think that's the order yeah
uh i'll do one more uh the exorcist based on a true story so in the late 1940s um roman catholic church performed a series of exorcisms on an anonymous
boy called they call him rolando um he was 14 years old and he was supposedly demonic possessed
uh the first they called a lutheran pastor and he couldn't handle it so he said you need a catholic
priest you need a professional that's really great that's really great he's like i don't we're not
y'all are kind of cuckoo you know what i mean he goes i ain't never seen this he was all interested
at first because he was really into it and then he was like uh no you need a catholic i can't
handle this so then they call him the catholic he comes in with the pulls the hose out of his
So then they call him the Catholic.
He comes in, pulls the hose out of his... He's like a professional.
The Catholic's like...
Out of the way.
He just says this stuff.
Holy Mary.
He's not even really there.
The Lutheran can't handle it,
and the Catholic priest is like,
if you ask him about it, he's like,
maybe I remember that day.
I don't know.
During the exorcism, the boy allegedly slipped out of one of his hands
of the restraints, broke a bed spring under the mattress,
and used it as a weapon, slashing the priest's arms,
which made them halt the first exorcism.
And then two priests came back, and they reserved shaking bed,
flying objects, the boy speaking in a weird voice.
Can I say that never would have happened if it was a helix master.
Yeah. Can I bring the sponsor in?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
There aren't arbitrary springs where you could get
possessed and then slash a priest. Yeah.
You know? Unless you put it to that sleep number.
They could make a movie about it.
Like, you just show
the priest walking out, smoking a cigarette.
And you just hear, like, nonsense behind you, like, like, yelling. He's walking out, smoking a cigarette. And you just hear nonsense behind him.
He's yelling.
He's like, he sits outside.
He goes, all right.
And then just goes back inside.
I like that.
As a Catholic myself, these priests
had to endure all these scandals.
But no one talks about when they show up for an exorcism,
they're there and they mean business yeah like they're not calling anybody else you know yeah they're calling catholic priests to come in yeah do you guys know of any real exorcisms
as the resident catholics here no i don't um
no none none like this
well you get your low-key exorcisms they're like kind of like a kind of
witch scenario where it's like this one kid i grew up with i always thought it and we almost
killed him but i just got started football and then i just got scared it's like none that they
made a movie about but yeah i've seen a few devils come out yeah yeah not the famous ones typical stuff crawl on the ceiling blah blah blah we thought this one kid turns out it was the flu
yeah i don't know yeah uh but now i mean they say that a lot of this stuff probably didn't
really happen yeah it was probably just exaggerated yeah but who knows who knows
uh all right that's it so's what Halloween's all about.
Halloween's all about.
Yeah.
Have fun.
Happy Halloween.
Have a great time.
It's a wonderful time for kids.
Dress up.
Don't be afraid to be a hobo.
That's an old school one.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It's a fun one.
Yeah.
I think it's a good thing.
Do a backstory.
Yeah.
Get creative. Get creative. Whatever you are, if you're a good thing do a backstory yeah that might get creative get
creative whatever you are if you're a princess have a backstory why are you this if you're
cinderella you know tell them and be into it and be like i'm this because you know that's fun
i like the idea of going as not to prolong the podcast if you're trying to wrap up but
one of like an ancillary character like not cinderella but i'm one of cinderella's sisters things were supposed to be going great for me yeah and then she just
stole she threw shade yeah if well so when they're little i think they just it's so hard not to be
cinderella but if the older you if you're 12 13 14 i think that's brilliant like start just being
the uh you know uh be you know be a ghostbuster but be the
one they fired before the four came in like you know like make up make up something right to be
like oh you worked with the ghostbusters you go i was uh i gotta let go uh or something i don't
know that's not the best but fifth beetle the fifth beetle yeah yeah peter best yeah pete best
and like just, you know.
Who had a good career.
Who had a good career.
Really good career.
I like that.
The Cinderella Sisters is a good one.
That's a great one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Pinocchio, you go as Geppetto.
It's like, I can't control this kid.
It's just he doesn't want to be real.
Yeah.
You got to be real with me. Yeah. You're going to do a scare straight yeah yeah do a scared straight you gotta be real with me yeah you're lying all the time
yeah yeah that would be a good one if you that one you get like you're a sibling involved would
be great jack and the beanstalk you're the guy who sold the fake beans oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
and you just look like you're always trying to get away, like here.
Because everybody's like, God, that bean thing is growing pretty quick.
I was like, I don't know.
It's kind of crazy.
You just walk up to groups and go, I don't know.
How about even, man, I wonder who did that?
And you walk away.
And then the last house, you tell them, like that guy that called in and poisoned the tree.
You tell them, I sold the beans. Let me tell you what I did.
Let me tell you what I did.
I drove down from my house about 35 miles from Dayville.
I sold him magic beans.
Roll Tide.
Roll Tide.
You got a shirt that says magic bean salesman?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you, everybody.
Yeah, if you listened to this, Grand Ole Opry, Ryman, Columbus, Ohio, 27, 28, 29th.
Columbus, we have two shows.
I believe these Grand Ole Oprys and Rymans, they are close to be sold out.
And there's one more Grand Ole Opry, November 15th, and it's not far off.
So you can still get tickets for that.
But big, big shows for me these will be some highlights for me to do them in nashville and then uh i'm with you on those shows oh yeah
y'all are both with me yeah so some nateland shows yeah so if you want nateland shows because
they haven't gone out a ton with me uh and we got a few dates i've been doing a lot of like well
we're here doing this yeah and then i've been doing a lot of like well we're here doing this yeah and
then i've been bringing a lot of my buddies from new york and stuff like that so it's been fun
uh but they will be on these my dad will be on it grand opry ryman in columbus ohio
is all of us and my dad that's awesome uh and then you got oh yeah please follow me at comic
mike v on all social media platforms a comic mike v.com on all social media platforms, or ComicMikeV.com on all social media platforms
for a link tree,
but at ComicMikeV on Instagram and Twitter,
MikeVecchione.com for dates.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's like a real, like a PSA announcement.
Also, my podcast, Mike Vecchione Investigates,
available on iTunes and the Macaroni Rascals,
which is a Patreon.
Thank you. Thank you again. is a Patreon. Thank you.
Thank you again.
Thank you again.
Thank you for having me. Have a good day at school, everybody.
All right.
Good night.
We're saying good night now because it's night, but have a good, whenever you listen to this,
have a good rest of that, whatever that is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
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