The Nateland Podcast - #71 Comments, Catching Up & Brian's Big News
Episode Date: November 3, 2021On this week's episode, the guys are back together for the first time in weeks. Aaron shares his dream of having a walk-in cooler, Nate looks at a breakdown of the words he used in his comedy specials..., and Brian has some breaking news that shocks everyone. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com #nateland #natebargatze Keeps - keeps.com/Nate IF YOU ARE READY TO TAKE ACTION AND PREVENT HAIR LOSS, GO TO KEEPS.COM/NATE TO RECEIVE YOUR FIRST MONTH OF TREATMENT FOR FREE. THAT'S KEEPS.COM/NATE TO GET YOUR FIRST MONTH FREE! Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/NATE. That's up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/NATE.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello folks, welcome to Nate land.
Thank you for being here.
I'm here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates.
Thank you everybody.
Welcome to the show.
We're back.
This is a real deal.
It's been a while.
It's been a while.
It's been about a month.
Has it been a month?
I think so.
Three weeks.
Three weeks.
That's a month.
Yeah.
Yeah, three weeks since we've been back up here to do one live.
Or, you know, the week of.
Yeah.
Touring, getting crazy.
We were together all weekend, so.
All last week.
Yeah, it was fun.
Yeah.
So it was a lot, to be honest.
Feels like a lot.
But,
we're, you know,
it's nice to be back.
Everybody's doing good,
except you might be,
you might die during this.
I might.
Yeah.
I might be having a stroke. We think a slow. I might. Yeah. I might be having a stroke.
We think a slow stroke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like just a numbness.
Got some numbness in my hands, my feet, a little bit in my face.
In your face?
A little bit.
Oh, wow.
On my lips.
Oh.
Oh.
I am rolling into 50 with a bang.
I mean, you're coming out of the gate.
Right out of the gate. I mean the gate i mean just yeah no no
questions asked just yeah it's next week right uh it's the day this comes out yeah oh yeah it's
this week happy birthday it's very serious breakfast but also hilariously how casual
this conversation is yeah i got a little numbness in my face. We're not doctors.
You'll go have a more serious one with the doctors.
Yeah, November 3rd, right?
Is it Wednesday?
Yeah.
50.
Breakfast is birthday.
Happy birthday, but I get some Sour Patch Kids that are right behind you.
Take all that you want.
Thank you.
It just sits in the side of his...
He can't move his... He can't move.
He can't chew it.
Get it on the other side, man.
We have to...
We have a podcast today.
We're going to will...
Yeah.
There's going to be like...
Once there's a moment of this, they're going to go, what did they do with the breakfast?
They will him in.
And he's always in that same spot.
Just kind of sits there and nods off.
We'd have you on, even if you couldn't talk.
You would?
I think we'd just put you there.
You'd prefer it, wouldn't you?
Yeah, we'd just have you right there,
and you'd just come in, and you'd just sit there.
Could turn your mic down.
People see you talking, and we're like,
everybody gets used to it.
That would be even a fun podcast to explain.
This can already be a hard podcast to explain to people yeah and then that one they go but what's
with the guy like i see him talking it's a microphone to where it go oh yeah he had a stroke
like on the show and uh he's just still keeps showing up and then he was you know when he
talks it doesn't make sense so they just turn his mic off. And us and the audience, we're all just kind of like, yeah, man, just let him still feel.
But he's drooling.
You got to look past that.
You know, there's some real, there's some real gems in there.
If you look past, you got to get past a lot.
I mean, somebody's just facing the other way.
Yeah.
He just faces the camera. He sleeps during most's just facing the other direction. He's not even facing the camera.
He sleeps during most of it.
It's going to happen soon.
It may be happening now.
It might be happening.
A slow right now.
Coming into 50 hot.
I think you'll be all right.
Well, thank you.
I think you'll be all right.
We'll find out.
Positive thinking.
Positive thinking?
Yeah.
You're going to be fine.
Can't be.
You think the odds you can't just be get a stroke at fifth on your birthday it's not gonna happen we'll find out i got two
doctor's appointments this week oh yeah yep same doctor no oh so you get two opinions well i got
my primary doctor and then i got a specialist oh. And then they go in and just give you a rundown.
How long does it take you to have a stroke?
Like you'd be having it now.
You want me to hurry up and get out of the way?
No, I'm just saying like.
Do we get to these comments?
I mean, well, yeah.
I'm like, should we go now?
Finish it.
Like, is it a slow roll where you're like,
does the stroke give you a little heads up to going,
hey, just so you know, I'm here. I mean mean we'll find out if i start slurring my speech or
yeah somebody smells toast yeah there they go i'll tell you what uh he had a stroke
nose whistling was gone though and i i do like which one do you want you know uh that's the
new listeners the guy at the end doesn't talk they go i know he had a stroke oh
bless his heart yeah they're like all right well how was it before he talked his nose whistled the
whole time so it's pretty i'll be honest with you it's oh it's tough it's a tough call you know i'm
just glad to see him he shows up every day uh we just leave him up here turn the lights off that'd
be a good way to end the podcast the lights
cut off and you just still sitting there to see your silhouette you're gone you're gone
and then we cut it back on oh hey i always every time i always forget you're still up here
that was did we tell the foxworthy story ollie joe prater yes oh yeah that's that pulling the sheet off people
want to know what was that book again uh i killed i believe i want to say i have it yeah i killed
stories from the road something like that yeah i have it i don't maybe i gave it to someone i want
to read it again actually because it's just so wonderful it's so good and they're just so wonderful. It's so good. And they're just so funny.
And you got to like, I always say when you read a book like this, yeah.
Rich Schneider.
I've met him, Mark Schiff.
When you read stuff like this, you got to just remember like,
I always, I mean, maybe people do read it like this,
but just take it as like you can't believe this is happening to this person.
Like, that's how I take all this stuff.
You're like, that's so funny that it's, you know,
you don't take anything serious, I guess.
You're just kind of like, yeah, dude, that's so funny.
At A, some of the people you're going to hear about,
that Ollie Joe Prater, that guy's crazy.
Crazy.
And like, you're like, the fact that that guy exists is unbelievable.
He is the best.
I mean, he was a real comic, a touring comedian, and just, you know,
oh, I love it.
And all of them, Leno's got a bunch of great ones,
especially because the older guys, I mean,
it was just free-for-all back then.
So, like, their stories are terrific because, you know, there's a lot of stuff. I mean, there was just free-for-all back then. So their stories are terrific because there's a lot of stuff.
I mean, there's still stories now, but back then, it was-
It was different.
It was different.
It was different.
I think Henry Cho has a story in that book about performing for a group of Korean businessmen,
and they only spoke Korean.
No.
He was halfway through his set before he realized.
It's kind of like your joke.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No. He was halfway through his set before he realized. It's kind of like your joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, so you get like stuff that, this stuff still happens, but it's not as,
I mean, it's just so funny.
It's just, it's just very funny.
It's just, it's a good, fun read and just, you got to picture the, because all these
comics think it's, even when you're in it, they think it's hilarious when they're done.
That's why they tell these stories.
Because you're like, dude, it was so bad.
I'm trying to think if I have one that I haven't told.
Do you have one?
A terrible bombing story?
Or like just a, yeah, like a.
Yeah, I've got a bunch.
I can't think of any in particular right now.
That's a good answer.
But I always hear
from older comics they're like you you know you've never had real experiences because it's so
different now where it used to just be like the wild west like just craziness everywhere there's
still stuff you still go do you know like i've done uh you know i'm not maybe it's different i
started before social media and so it's a different era man that's maybe it's different. I started before social media.
And so.
It's a different era,
man.
That's a,
it's a whole different thing.
No phones,
none of that stuff.
I remember going to some places they could still smoke in the,
you know, and you would see the smoke rise and you would just be like,
I'm going to smell like just a straight up cigarette afterwards.
There was something cool about too.
Like you're like,
you know,
I didn't get to see a ton of that but i saw some of it right uh but yeah like the 80s and stuff i don't
think that you would never experience anything like that but the road i mean i remember going to
well i remember doing a corporate gig once in a hotel do you doing with me and they had that
other room in the pool the comedy zone i don't don't think so. There's me and Grant.
And it was in West Virginia.
And we don't know,
we're doing just a corporate in this ballroom of this hotel.
And then we find out there's like a comedy zone
that's also by the pool.
And normally they do it in that room,
but these people had that room rented out
for their corporate.
So the comedy club,
you'd go in through the lobby
and just go to a hotel pool and they had uh speakers set up and then you're and then like those lawn
chair those white ones that don't fold they would have those and that was the seats and so you would
do your show by the pool that sounds like a company's on gig yeah yeah not like the show
yeah times i had some charlotte charlotte is the club in charlotte's unreal and then they have some pool that sounds like a company's own gig yeah yeah not like the show yeah it comes on as some
charlotte charlotte is the club in charlotte's unreal and then they have some that are just a
lot like that i remember doing one i won a prize for one uh one time this was my first 2005-6
and i came home it was in murphsboro i drove to it it was at this bar and i remember i walked in
and just the type of acts that they have.
Usually the guy,
uh,
when I walk in,
he goes,
where's your stuff at?
And I go,
what do you mean?
I go,
I don't,
I go,
I don't have any stuff.
He goes,
but your stuff that you need,
like,
where's your,
you know,
like,
I don't know your suitcase with your props and all that kind of stuff.
And I go,
I'm,
I don't,
I'm just a standup comedian.
And then he goes,
uh, you know, walked away from me and, Oh, good luck, comedian. And then he goes,
then walked away from me.
Oh, good luck, buddy.
And I was like,
this guy does so many people that have props that he just assumes you have props.
Everybody that shows up.
It's not like he's like,
what are you?
Which one are you?
He's like,
if you're coming here,
you're doing props.
He was trying to help you.
He was trying to help me. He was trying to help me.
He was like, you're not going to make it.
No.
And I was opening, and I remember I just said, all right.
And I opened for some guy in Murf's, for some bar in Murf's World,
and it was just a zoo.
I mean, I would do a ton of those shows where you go up,
and it's 500 people in there, and then you're just, no one's listening.
I mean, people would not know you went on stage, which was crazy.
It's crazy to go talk on a microphone into people,
and then afterwards they could be like, when was this comedy show?
Like, you were looking at me at one point.
Yeah.
And you just didn't, they're like, oh, I thought that was like.
You're like between bands or something like that?
That one I don't think we were, but it just wasn't, you know, it's like.
They just didn't care.
They didn't care.
Yeah.
I did a gig for a, I had a church we were, but it just wasn't, you know, it's like. They just didn't care. They didn't care. Yeah.
I did a gig for a, I had a church for a pastor and his wife, their 50th wedding anniversary.
It was a celebration for them.
And people got them spoken, honored them.
And then, and I was going to go last, they put the cake up on stage.
And they told people to line up while I was on stage performing and they cut the cake.
So the whole time I'm up there
trying to tell jokes,
I just hear over here,
chocolate or vanilla.
Yeah.
Chocolate or vanilla.
Chocolate or vanilla.
The whole time.
Yeah.
And then people just walk off
right past me.
And then they go back to their seat
and watch the show.
Yeah.
How much time did you have to do?
Like 30. Oh. The only thing I remember about that I was watching, go back to their seat yeah and watch the show yeah how much time did you have to do like 30
the only thing i remember about that i was watching it was like vanderbilt florida basketball
game it already tipped off when i was at my house i went and did the gig terrible gig got home saw
the end of the game oh wow and i was like wow i got paid terrible gig but saw the beginning the
end of this basketball yeah in college basketball that's not that long of a game. No.
That's a quick turn.
You walked in basically as they were, yeah.
You asked to go up.
I'll just go up when they cut the cake.
That's fine.
There's some gigs where you would be like, I'll go up.
Like, you know, even if you get this room set up right,
it's not going to work.
Right.
So just I'll go up.
The more chaotic, the better. Yeah. Let me just get it with i mean and that's there's a lot of rooms like that that's when you
first start there's a lot of that there's a lot of going and i think it's the thing like because
you know like now we're doing these i'm doing these theaters and like y'all are just with me
and uh sorry my voice uh y'all are just with me. And, like, you know, the crowds are unreal.
Like, it's crazy.
It's, you know, people always ask if you get nervous and stuff.
And you're, I always like to say, I heard Tony Finau said it.
You don't get nervous.
You're excited.
And so your nerves are just a little different.
Like, it's not that you're not nervous.
Look, if a joke doesn't work, you're going to get nervous real quick.
But you're just, but when you've done it for so long, you're like, look the joke doesn't work you're going to get nervous real quick but you're
just but when you've done it for so long you're like i can't wait and i've got that feeling again
now we're doing these theaters like i can't wait to go out and do this show for these people like
i cannot wait it's so fun and the audience is so great uh so it's a little different but at the
beginning before you can get to any of that stuff is the situations of that where you're
they shouldn't have had a comedian and they in theory they think it's going to work and then
it doesn't and you're and you and you know going in like this is going to be it's going to be bad
i mean there are gigs that we would take and they'd be like this is not this is going to be
awful but it's 250 bucks so right and you like, oh, wow, that's crazy.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Did I tell you about the Christmas party I did last year in Arkansas for a company that I was their Christmas party?
And I got there early, and they had had a bad year.
So they were talking about that the whole time.
They were like, listen, guys, revenue was high, but expenses were high.
And I know the bonuses aren't what everyone was expecting to be to be and i'm just sitting in the back like oh my god
dude and then uh then i had to go up pay for you and do 30 minutes made 100 bucks 100 bucks
100 bucks drove to arkansas i was there for other shows i added that yeah but yeah we've talked
about i know we're just talking about how we're doing more corporates now and we're scared to
give demands like because it does make a difference yeah the way the room's set up where
the people are seated all that i'm personally like afraid i'm gonna do all these demands and
i'm still gonna bomb and they'll be like no dude it's you yeah yeah but it does make a difference
so you do need to ask for that stuff a big one you start doing the interesting thing that they
always you know when you're first
starting i know i've talked to you about a bunch is like you get like where you're going you're
first introduced if you like you don't know how to price yourself yeah that's like something that
like i know a lot of comics uh a lot of young comics ask and it's always a tough thing where
you're but someone's like hey i want to hire you for to come do 30 minutes of my you know
corporate thing or whatever for my company and And you're like, how much?
And you don't, you're like, I don't know.
Because you're going, I would do it for free.
Yeah.
I just want to go on stage.
But I know I got to tell them a number.
And then what's the number?
Is it, you know, I feel like 250 is a good, you know,
you're saying a comic, no credits or anything like that.
If you're brand new, if you think I'm going to go deliver a good show,
I'm at least a good comic, and I can do it.
Yeah.
And you have the time.
But even that number feels insane to ask for when you start.
Yeah.
I got $7 last night for the show, and now I'm-
Well, it goes from $0 to $250, and you're like, I don't know.
But it'd be like $100.
Right.
And maybe you're like, I'll bring two comics'd be like a hundred bucks you know and maybe you're like i'll bring two comics and you know yeah but i mean sometimes you got to be like sometimes you gotta
be like you know you might you do a college you'd be like i'd ask you know be like ask for a thousand
you're like dude i don't want they're gonna say no uh-huh so i'd rather just you know and then
you're like i'll do it for you like i'll do for, you know, you're like 700 or 500.
And they're like, yeah, yeah, for sure.
And you're like, God, Lee, I could have asked for 1,000.
I was like, you could have asked for 3,000.
Because they don't know sometimes as much as you don't know.
I've priced myself so low in the past that people, they're like, something's up.
Like, they question it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's the thing, too.
You don't want to go so low that they're like, who are we getting? Yeah. They're right to question it. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the thing, too. You don't want to go so low that they're like, who are we getting?
Yeah.
They're right to question that.
I did a church for Valentine's Day last year, and the pastor of the church pulled me aside afterwards.
He's like, you should be asking for a lot more money.
Yeah.
He was like, if I didn't know you, I would have thought this guy's garbage because of how little he asked.
I was like, I just didn't know, man.
I don't know what's the number.
Yeah.
Yeah. garbage because of how little he asked i was like i just didn't know man i don't yeah what's the number yeah yeah it's it's you gotta it i mean a lot of it depends on your where you're at in your career so if you're not really have anything to kind of sell off that's like the credits all
matter and like you're at least going like all right i got some late nights and then they could
go this guy's been on tonight show he's been on whatever he's's done whatever. And, you know, that tends to – that helps where you can raise it up a little bit.
Because, yeah, until you get agents and all that kind of stuff,
it's you're on your own, and you're figuring it out.
And, you know, you only got much to go off of.
You know, like I know if you go headline a club, when you first start –
have we ever talked about the numbers on this?
I wonder if people...
I don't think so.
They might find this interesting.
They might not.
But with a headliner, you're selling no tickets.
So the point of this headliner is you're at the beginning
when you first get a headline.
Yeah.
And I think usually a club, you'd get, I want to say,
100 a show.
Is that somewhere
no that's the feature
would be the middle act
that'd be good though
yes
a good
if you do a big club
and they pay you
a hundred bucks a show
to be the middle act
is like
basically the top
and
it doesn't get much
better than that
yeah
and it's been that way
for decades
yeah
that's kind of the standard
yes
host is getting
fifty bucks a show usually and the head yes host is getting 50 bucks a show
yeah usually and the headliner gets 250 a show yeah and it may add a good good club oh at a good
club yeah i think yeah the host 50 is good only at a good club yeah there's a lot of clubs host
gets nothing yeah and feature gets 50 yeah and then i remember you go you go take gigs like when you first start
headlining and it would be i remember you get a thousand and no travel they give you a hotel
so a thousand bucks and a hotel you got to get yourself there and then you finally get up to
like 1200 and then you get like 1500 and then you get like or you get to 1200
and then it's plus travel and you're like oh all right this is starting to get all right they're
gonna give me a hotel now i don't got i don't got paid for the flight or the hotel and then it goes
15 and then it just kind of goes up from there uh but like that's the general because people ask
that stuff a lot yeah i don't think people have no idea.
If you're booking a comic for a corporate gig,
I would say, if you're listening to this thinking,
I was going to do a local comic or someone.
It just depends on the comic.
But if they have the time and you know they're good,
like if you've seen them at a club and you're like,
hey, this guy I think will be really good.
I've seen him do 10 minutes, and it's really good.
And he can handle this.
If you're doing, like, you know, if you had him do, like, 30 minutes, you could do 300 bucks, right?
Yeah.
500 would be pretty amazing.
That'd be, like, very nice.
Mm-hmm.
You know.
But then if they have any credits, it will go up from there.
It just goes up to what you can and can't take.
Right?
Is that about 30 minutes material, 500 bucks?
That'd be great.
That'd be a solid gig.
I'd do it.
Yeah.
That's a solid gig.
That's what we're trying to get y'all right now for.
I'm saying, will you guys go?
When people are listening to this, if they want to hire Bates and Aaron,
I'm saying, will you guys go?
When people are listening to this, if they want to hire Bates and Aaron,
you know, Bates needs a ramp to get in your – it's one of his demands to get in the building.
It's his rider.
It's his rider.
Just a ramp.
A ramp.
And could everybody sit to the right side of the room, please?
And that's it.
Well, do you want a good show or not a good show? He goes, it's really well do you want a good show
or not a good show
it's really up to you
and they go
we kind of already got everybody set
and you're like
well I'll do 20
and then I'm gonna get out of here
same money
some comments
it's been a while
since I've talked to you guys
so
as always you can email them.
Our Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, podcast review,
nateland at nabargetsy.com.
These are the Oklahoma comments.
Austin Hoffer.
Or Hofer.
Hoffer.
Hoffer's probably two Fs.
Hofer.
Hoffer.
Hofer.
Hofer.
Austin Hofer from Oklahoma.
Ooh, a little fancy, but he wasn't welcomed.
He's actually from Wisconsin.
Oh.
Oh, that's probably Heifer.
Oh, it might be Heifer.
Yeah.
Hey, Nate, I'm a huge fan.
Back in March, my father passed away unexpectedly.
Sorry, Austin.
You're going to jump right out.
During that time, there were many long nights with my siblings at our mom's house,
keeping her company.
One of those nights we flipped on your special as a way to lighten the mood.
That really marked the first time after his passing that we sat together and had a laugh.
Your comedy helped us teleport to a different place at a time when we needed it the most.
Once your tour was announced, we knew we needed to go.
This Friday, my family and I will be at the Milwaukee show to see you.
I'm not sure you will see this, but I just wanted to thank you and tell you
we are excited to see you because you mean so much to us all.
That's awesome, man.
Thank you, Austin.
That's very, very nice.
I can't wait.
Where did they do?
They messaged you or they emailed it?
I would love to meet y'all, Austin. I can't wait. Where did they do? They messaged you or they emailed it? We'll go. Yeah.
I would love to meet y'all, Austin.
So we'll email them with Travis.
All right.
And then we'll meet you at the Milwaukee show.
And I'll get back down to your last name.
That'll be fun.
Come back.
I hope it's completely different.
I mean, I'm not even 100% sure that's his last name.
Oh, there's a great chance of that, Austin.
We're sorry.
It was Austin, and then he had some handle.
And so I looked him up on Facebook and Instagram,
and I'm pretty sure it's the same guy.
Yeah.
Oh.
I mean, that would even be.
It's definitely Austin, though.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, Austin.
Start by sending us your real last name.
Yeah, just any Austin out there.
Shannon Moyer.
Is that how you say it?
Yeah.
M-O-Y-E-R.
This is my absolute favorite podcast.
Love you all.
My husband and I met in Oklahoma, and he proposed to me at the center of the universe.
Whoa.
Did you go to that?
No.
Oh, okay.
We went to the uh to the we went to the uh
bass pro shop they got a big bass pro shop there in springfield this was in springfield missouri
yeah oklahoma is the center of the universe uh but in springfield missouri which was on that
we they they have a bass pro shop and it's unbelievable you can spend the whole day there
yeah i think you can spend more than i think you could do a couple days Shop, and it's unbelievable. You can spend the whole day there.
Yeah, I think you can spend more than,
I think you could do a couple days easy.
There's a museum, and then there's a museum and an aquarium.
It was so long that we were in it.
I joked in Springfield in this joke, murdered there,
and I said, it was, I was like, they should give you a heads up.
Like, if you run, it'll take you an hour and a half to get through this.
It was, it was just like, I wasn't, I thought like, all right, we're in a store.
So I'm going to go through this.
You know, we got our daughters with me.
And so we're just going to run through this real fast.
You know, we got, we got two shows that night.
Like, you know, you're not just sitting on, you're not on vacation.
Yeah.
And, and then, I mean, we, by the time we hit the aquarium, I was like, I think I just got to get out of here.
And then you can't even really get out.
Like, there's a, you kind of go in. I mean, the aquarium was awesome.
And you're like, I just wish I would have wrapped my head around.
How big it was.
What I was walking into.
We didn't really go to the store.
Yeah, there's like three or four different museums there.
There's a NASCAR museum. Do you see that one no no we went straight to like it was almost like a history
museum or like history of bass pro shop no no oh i think just you barely scratched the surface yeah
history of what uh it was like like a natural history museum like it had like those kind of
like old animals and you know there's an nra museum too
with a bunch of guns yeah you can check out you wore a bass pro shop jacket didn't you on the
podcast i did i got it from that bass pro shop yeah yeah oh wow uh yeah it was it was it was it
was crazy how long of a walk it was uh or just how i mean just so big and you're you just like it's a mall size i think
right probably yeah like as big as a mall it's as big as a mall but it's one store there's a food
court in it yeah you know just like yeah i don't think like i think i would have liked to see all
that stuff i think i just got stuck in the one part of it and then i'm like i wasn't aware of
what i was walking into i'd like to go back to it
and then be like all right i know what's happening now did i tell the story in the podcast about going
to the rock and roll hall of fame and not realizing it was multiple levels i don't know
well we we all went last year yeah but i went in the 90s
it just opened like a year or two before and i spent like all day on the first level
and then they were like we're about to close up in like 30 minutes or something like that
and i saw somebody coming down i was like what's up there there's like six levels i just ran around
the whole day i was like this is cool but it's not that great yeah and the bottom floor is like
borderline just it's a gift shop it's a gift shop like it's the bottom floor is you might be able to
get into free it might just be i was like melissa etheridge is cool but i mean that's all you got
bumper sticker how long were you in there a few hours yeah oh my god just reading everything i
mean yeah i was like i got some time to kill so i'll just look at these keychains a little bit
longer there's like a kiss exhibit one floor above me yeah yeah well it's uh it's yeah there's so
much yeah so much above you so i just ran through the top five levels in the last 30 minutes.
I mean, that's so good.
It's such a funny, just to be, you know.
I'm trying to think.
I feel like I have something like that, too, where I've walked in somewhere,
and then you're like, what's that?
Yeah, that Bass Pro Shop, I guess.
But that's huge. Yeah. I don don't know i can't think of it but it's like that where you end up just not realizing you're like what's that and then someone's like no no that's this is not even part
of the museum i'll be honest with you this is the only floor i'll tell you not to go to if you have
limited time i would say do not waste a second on that first floor. Yeah. Yeah, it's a whole, it goes, it's a cone, right?
Yeah, that was a pyramid.
Is it a cone?
I don't, yeah.
Yeah, it's a triangle.
So it did get smaller as I went up, but.
Yeah, as it kept going.
Yeah.
And it's a pyramid.
That's a triangle.
A triangle? Yeah, it's a cone yeah uh back to some comments
uh a london how does the show's researcher brian bates not mention oklahoma's own brian bates aka
the video vigilante growing up ia. the video vigilante.
Growing up, I briefly remember the video vigilante making the local news
in the mid-'90s for videoing prostitutes working in high-class areas.
He's right.
I'm familiar with this guy because on my daily Google alerts for Brian Bates,
it's usually him.
It's never me, but it's usually this guy.
So he's right.
I forgot all about him.
Oh, wow.
He's been around.
Yeah.
He's a big deal.
He's doing more in your name than you've ever done.
What's Little Jerry?
Oh, yeah.
That's what he says.
You're just jealous because he's done more with your name than.
Big Jerry and Little Jerry. Big Jerry and Little Jerry.
Big Jerry and Little Jerry.
Yeah.
So I am familiar with this guy.
He's, yeah, he's been doing that for a while.
Yeah.
Going around trying to, I guess, shame people from going to prostitutes.
Yeah.
Okay.
He's doing a good job.
Yeah.
As far as I know.
Yeah.
Looks like you with keeps.
Yeah. Okay. He's doing a good job. Yeah. As far as I know. Yeah. Looks like you with keeps. Yeah.
That does.
I think maybe this commenter put in there that at first they thought, could this be
the same guy?
Yeah.
And then eventually you learn about the background and it's like, no, it's somebody different.
Yeah.
Anthony Barajas.
Yeah.
I bet it's with like an H.
Barajas. Apparently my... I would think. Yeah. I bet it's with like an H. Barajas.
Apparently my...
I would think.
Yeah.
Apparently my great-great-grandmother was the first girl to be born in Oklahoma.
I don't know what year that was, and I'm not exactly sure what her name was,
but I heard that from my granny one year.
Also, this makes it on the podcast, my last name is pronounced barahas it's the spanish word for cards
barahas barahas oh yeah baharas anthony baharas everybody is that how you say it in uh
spanish you give it a little, everything's a little like,
got a little like,
bajarras.
Yeah.
Bajarras.
Roll the R a little bit,
I think.
That's my guess.
Do they tell them to roll,
like in school,
do they go,
you know,
Q-R-S-T-E-V?
Like,
do they roll it?
I mean,
I think you learn.
R-R-Q-R-S-T-E-V. Like, how they roll it? I mean, I think you learn. R-R-Q-R-S-T.
Like, how's their song?
L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-R-S.
Yeah, I mean, if you do that, you're already, the other person's on you.
And you're like, I was still doing the R.
Q-R-R-S.
B-H-R-R-S B-H-R-S
I love that we're reading a comment of
Anthony that
could or could not know if this is true or not
right
fits us
if yeah
the idea that it's just like
maybe
and you know
if you told Anthony he's like
and if I didn't ever hear that
and I just saw it on TV one day
and watched it on the news, I'd believe that too.
I'd believe any of those scenarios.
I think it was my granny told me.
Yeah.
Could have saw it on the news.
Does he mean his great-great-grandmother was the first girl to be born in Oklahoma after it became a state?
Yes.
Okay.
Not just in the land?
Yeah.
That's why it's Oklahoma.
Yeah.
I'm guessing when it became a state.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Andy Hess.
Red people is a common mistranslation for Oklahoma.
The Chautau word for red is also used for courageous, brave, and honored.
Okay.
There you go.
Yep.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, it does.
They appreciate it.
It's like actually a wonderful word.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Jake Peterson.
How do you not mention that there's a town named Durant in Oklahoma
and there was a petition to change the name to Westbrook
after Katie left the OKC Thunder?
That's classic Nate Land material.
He's right.
Again, I dropped the ball on it but
there it is they changed it to westbrook uh they had a petition this is a fake picture they
need more signatures yeah they got almost 3 000 at 5 000 signatures this petition is more likely
to get picked up by local news that's funny that it's like that's all they're trying to get you're
like you're like so 5 000 they're gonna do it they go no no we're just hoping someone will notice it and we think
five thousand is a solid number to that then we would be able to get people to do it what's the
update there's been anger sparked this is five years ago oh so this might be the biggest press
this has ever gotten yeah yeah this podcast uh, there is a Westbrook, Oklahoma.
There's a Durant, Oklahoma.
Yeah.
And they were wanting to change it.
But then that sign said there's a Westbrook.
I think that's Photoshopped.
Oh.
Yeah, this is Photoshopped.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Welcome to Durant.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah.
Well, Westbrook's gone now,
so I guess this whole thing's over. Yeah, there's another petition. Westbrook's gone now so I guess this whole
thing's over
yeah
there's another petition
yeah there's another
you know let's call it
Chris Paul
and you're like
he's in Phoenix
this is
who going to
like they don't even
have a history
of him
what's a
what's a tall guy
with the
he's might be gone too now
I don't even know
Steve something
I don't know
name it that Steve. Steve something.
Name it that.
Steve something Oklahoma.
Steve something Oklahoma.
Welcome to Steve something Oklahoma.
RW, just for reference, when T-Boone Pickens donated.
T-Boone, that's such a fun name.
T-Boone Pickens.
That's what everybody, that's such a fun name to say.
Everybody should pause.
T-Boone. If you listen to this, you should say it and go,
T-Bone Pickens donated $165 million for the OSU Stadium.
He was worth $3 billion.
If your net worth is $50,000, that would be like donating $2,750,
which I bet Justin has spent just on season tickets over a couple of years.
So yes, Justin is a bigger OSU fan than T. Boone Pickens.
Wow.
Well, Justin's not worth $50,000, so.
Yeah, yeah.
His net worth is $50,000.
You're like, R.W., I guess he's going to redo it after he hears the beginning of this.
We talked about how much comics get paid.
He goes, all right.
So let's say your net worth.
Say you don't have one.
It's not registered.
Let's say it's not registered.
I would say most comics, when you first start, you do not have a net worth.
No.
Because your net worth, you have to have stuff.
Or it's in the negatives because you have student loans like mine is.
Oh, your net worth is negative.
Oh, yeah.
It's got to be.
I've never sat down and calculated it, but I definitely owe more than I have.
Yeah.
Wow.
I feel like there's very few.
See, you think this right, middle class comedians.
Most struggle, struggle, struggle.
And then if you ever do break through, then you can do pretty well.
But there's not many that are just in that middle range.
Most are struggling.
Most.
I would say there's a good, there's got to be a good chunk.
You know, you do like, I mean, I remember always looking at,
like I would say, like when I first got on cruises,
when I got my first, like I did some,
I had some late night credits and stuff.
Yeah.
Conan and then did the Comedy Central.
I remember just thinking like my i would hit different safety
nets and for me a safety net was being clean and i had a couple credits like i could do cruises
and so if i did cruises at that time you get paid three grand for the week uh which was a ton yeah
and uh that was more than you'd get at a club and And so it was like, all right, so if I go do that, do that every week,
it's $150,000.
I mean, you should at least make a – you can make $100,000.
You won't do 50 weeks, but you're just – and with that amount,
it's like I straight up just did that.
And I just was like, all right, I'm going to dive into this.
This is my kind of outlet.
And so I remember thinking that when I got into cruises.
I was like, all right, worst worst case like i should be able to you know maybe i can make 100 grand a year and like doing comedy
or then you know or like being and that's like being clean like let me think about the new
corporates like you would just be like all right let me just get to this point first it was like
if i can make just as much as i made working waiting tables right and so if i'm you know i'm
making 18 20 grand a year so the waiting
tables whatever it was and then i get to that i'm like oh i'm doing that that's all right all right
now now we can't now i'm not wasting my time because i'm actually doing you know no college
education no so it's like i'm like whatever i would be doing i'd be i'm making that and so you're like all right it takes it
took pressure off you actually because you're just kind of like well i mean i'm doing what i
you know i i didn't have a lot of people i had like real college degrees and their lawyers or
they got another name waste their family's money and name waste the name wasted the name. Wasted the name on the –
I'm doing more with that name than they ever did.
Yeah.
So, all right.
Yeah, kind of build on that.
You're just sticking it to your family.
I was going to let you do it.
That's as hard as I can go.
Yeah.
That's pretty out of character, honestly.
I know. That's why I think I stopped talking. I was like, golly, dude, it Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty out of character, honestly,
what I just did.
That's why I think I stopped talking because I was like,
golly,
dude,
it's your family.
It's your dad.
Yeah.
Your dad's a principal of a big school.
Yeah.
And now,
and now Phillip Rivers is there.
And what now?
He's leaving.
He's going to the Saints.
Oh,
is he?
What's the rumor?
Oh.
Oh,
man,
don't drop that on me.
I had no idea.
Football season's over.
Yeah.
I thought you thought that you're saying his dad's leaving.
That's what I thought you said.
That's what he's leaving.
Yeah.
I go, why?
And then I'm like, wait, are we not supposed to?
You're probably not supposed to say it.
Yeah.
I haven't called him in a couple of days.
How do you know this?
And I don't.
I haven't seen this.
Phillip Rivers might be leaving.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, if they're –
I've been saying that all year.
The high school football season's over, so why not?
That'd be smart.
You know why not?
Yeah.
Just go get it.
I think Titans –
Derrick Henry's –
Signed Adrian Peterson.
Huh?
Signed Adrian Peterson today.
Titans did?
Yep.
Oh, good.
I didn't know that.
That just happened.
Yeah, just happened a couple hours ago.
So there you go.
Everybody old is getting a chance.
Is that not what it is?
No, it's just funny.
That's the takeaway.
Yeah.
All these old guys are getting a chance.
We got one falling apart.
I mean, it's all over the place right now.
Pennsylvania comments.
Jason Miller.
This whole episode belongs in the Nate Land Hall of Fame
Mike was my favorite guest so far
and Nate's bit
where he was making
boat sounds
and talking about
leaving baits on his island
was incredible
it sounds like the perfect
opening scene
to a Nate Land TV series pilot
thanks for making Wednesdays
a day to look forward to
keep it up folks
yeah
I don't think I remember it
I don't remember that either
you were talking about
going out on island just leaving me there yeah and i have my hands
i'd have my back turned out i wouldn't hear it yeah
you gotta do that uh thing where you gotta move it with your hand
yeah okay and you're just like all right i think we can do this turn around here i'm gone You got to do that thing where you got to move it with your hand.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're just like, all right, I think we can do this.
Turn around.
Here, I'm gone.
Sorry, we'll do it again.
Jvilla92.
So about the ketchup thing. Restaurants do not leave the bottles out overnight.
They go in the walk-in cooler,
then sit out for a bit on the tables before they open that's a health code
violation to not refrigerate ketchup but when you're every time you eat it you're it's warm
because they sit it out for a second and then they before they serve it that's what this person's
saying so but is it not you're then making it cold then warm then cold then warm i don't think
that's good for anything i agree it's like beer skunk of beer like that yeah i not you're then making it cold, then warm, then cold, then warm. I don't think that's good for anything. I agree.
It's like beer, skunk of beer like that.
Yeah.
I think you're probably right.
I think you just eat it cold like an adult.
Well, you either do it cold or just leave it.
Let's keep it one temperature.
I've never heard anybody doing that.
Leaving it out?
Leaving condiments out like that.
Did anybody say they do?
A lot of people defended putting bread in the refrigerator.
Those people are out of their mind.
I meant to tell Travis that this weekend.
That's crazy.
And you just got to toast it
every time you want it?
Some people just said
it's cold meat,
cold bread,
it all fits.
Oh, God.
I mean,
even like
when you buy
like a cold sandwich
at like a deli
or something where like at an airport,
and it's all cold.
I mean, I'll eat it cold there because I don't prefer it.
Right.
It's not like you're-
The bread's usually hard.
This is a lot of people that are just stuck in their ways.
That's what I would imagine.
If y'all have bread in your refrigerator, y'all are all stuck in your ways,
and I'm going to come to your house and pull it out,
and I'm going to sit with you for a week and watch you eat warm bread to make sure.
Because you're just, you go, my mama used to do it, and now I'm going to do it.
That's what I think.
Travis does that.
Laura's got a lot of that.
Well, this is not what they've done.
People got that.
They're stuck.
Me putting ketchup,
leaving it out was,
I changed my family.
Groundbreaking.
We were,
never been done.
Never been done as a Bargetzi.
Let me tell you something.
We love ketchup.
Yeah.
It's our favorite vegetable.
We're big ketchup people.
But you don't like tomatoes.
Don't like tomatoes.
I like to put,
I still,
you know, I might do that as a joke i might
have said this one joke i have about ketchup i've always wanted to do i think it's so funny
uh not about it but i say i like i like to put some ketchup on the i like to use enough ketchup
that's someone that sits with me has to say something about it oh yeah like i use enough
ketchup that they go there's a there's a moment where it gets so much that they go,
it's a lot of ketchup, huh?
There's a moment they don't say anything,
and then there's a moment they go, it's a lot of ketchup there, huh?
They got to say something.
They got to say something.
I use enough that they have to.
I know I'm done when they ask.
When the person across from me goes, it's a lot of ketchup,
you go, stop.
I've said that to you.
That's when.
Yeah, that's when you go.
I just squeeze and look at their face. I don't even have to look at it. And. Yeah, that's when you go. I just squeeze and look at their face.
I don't even have to look at it.
And they go, that's a lot of ketchup.
And I can eat it all.
Yep.
I use french fries just because the spoon's not appropriate.
I remember we were at Five Guys, and you filled up container after container
after container, just lined them up on the table.
Yeah.
I said, that's a lot of ketchup.
You said, we'll see
we'll see
yeah
it's probably cold ketchup though
no there wasn't
alright
it's out on the counter
alright man
you're not eating cold ketchup
unless you're going
to your house
alright
and then
apparently most of America's house
but
if you come to my house
you're getting
you get some warm ketchup
when y'all
I want everybody to come to my house everybody listen to this y'all come to my house, you're getting – You get some warm ketchup. When y'all – I want everybody to come to my house.
Everybody listen to this.
Y'all come to my house, and I'm going to give you some warm bread
and some warm ketchup, and y'all are going to be blown out of –
I mean, I'll give you ketchup and mustard on bread.
I've used to eat that.
Well, I would love a walk-in cooler.
That's like – you ever think about –
At your house.
At your house.
Something – that's one of those like goals you win
a lottery yeah i had a walk-in freezer at my old job that was the best dude you just walk in there
every now and then yeah just if you were trying to let people know how much you weigh without
them seeing a picture of you that would be how you would do it. To be your life goal is if anybody's never looked at Aaron and they go,
what if Aaron's a big guy?
Well, Izzy, his life goal, if he wins the lottery,
is to have a walk-in cooler because he eats up so much out there in the real
world that he needs to get toned down a little bit, just like a polar bear
that jumps in the water.
That's a big man dream.
I think that's got to be every big man's dream.
Oh, just to have one room in your house.
There it goes.
Just one in your house.
You go in there and you go.
Dude, I do think that actually that is they they
should have that at the big and tall store they should the big and tall store should be walking
i mean unbelievable dude how good would that be the whole big and tall store was like just the
walk-in you hear it you go in and everybody tries on clothes and you're just like that's the best story i've
ever been through in my life day there man they should do that why are they not doing that
that would be so good yeah that's great every dxl the fitting room is like a walk-in
yeah it goes to just to just a little window.
They knock on it.
How's everything doing?
It's great.
Yeah, he goes, I feel great.
The ghost.
Oh, man.
All right.
Cat Altenbach. Right? I think so. Cat Altenbach.
Right?
I think so.
Kat Altenbach.
It's a short first name for that last name.
Kat Altenbach.
Like, I'd be like, Kat?
Oh, nice to meet you.
She goes, Altenbach.
I'm like, oh, Kat.
I'm like, what?
Like, Catherine Altenbach.
You know? Catherine Bach was Daisy Duke. Catherine Bach was? Mm-hmm. what like like katherine altenbach you know katherine bach got a rhythm to it daisy duke
katherine bach was some of this is like a distant relative yeah they added a little more to it
uh i was so excited during the tone challenge on this week's episode of nateland i could hear the
sound and my husband could not i'm 29 and he's 33 i am a speech speech language pathologist and my college degree
is in speech language and hearing sciences the tiny cells within our ears that recognize sound
and frequencies are called hair cells as you get older or as you expose your hair cells to damaging loud sounds,
the hair cells slowly die off.
Once dead, a hair cell cannot regenerate and your body doesn't make more.
So that's why.
There you go.
There we go.
So you got a bunch of dead cells in your ears, huh?
You're getting there, though.
I'm getting there soon, dude.
You're getting there soon. Yeah. there soon dude you're getting there soon
yeah i might as well just cut them all out now i wonder if you lose them if you just get uh
every time you go uh just take a little bit off the top of the ears and then you're like
i didn't realize how important those were you go that's why i can't hear that sound
just to take a little bit let's just do a little you know there was a lot of debate about that
sound man i think when i got especially on tiktok as nate posted on tiktok and i think when they
got posted there they altered the audio quality of the clip yeah so it's not playing in that and the
comments are like this guy's tricking you. There's not actually a sound playing. Well, they were tricking you then, right?
No, I just wanted it to be known that the original video and on the podcast,
there was a sound playing.
Yeah.
And a lot of people confirmed that.
Oh.
Well, we need to put the real sound on.
It's just TikTok corrupts the quality a little bit when you post something.
So you can't hear it.
Whatever happened on TikTok, you can't hear it. Whatever happened on TikTok,
you can't hear it.
Everywhere else, Instagram, you can hear it fine.
Yeah.
I can't hear TikTok because of my age.
It's the first time he's ever heard of TikTok.
Yeah, what is it?
Zach is nobody.
That's his thing.
But I do agree with that.
The Kroger near where I did my undergrad.
I don't even know what that means.
That means you graduated.
Yeah.
That's so ridiculous, dude.
He put undergrad in quotation marks, by the way, which is very funny.
Yeah.
But, you know, people only say that undergrad,
they only mention that, so they don't say undergrad.
They go, I graduated from college at blah, blah, blah.
That's what they say if they're undergrad.
And then if they went and got their graduate degree,
they go, I went to undergrad here,
and then I went to my graduate school here.
Right.
So that's why they say it like that.
Right.
Yeah, this guy's letting you know.
So the undergrad word is only for people that kept going.
Yeah, that overgraded.
But that's, yeah, they overgraded.
That's so insulting to the people that are like, well, I went to college.
Did you just go to college?
Yes.
And you didn't, that's it.
That's insulting to him that someone goes, oh, I went to graduate school too.
Well, I would be like, well, I thought I was done when I was done.
Yeah.
So I just keep going for the rest of my life, you know?
All right.
The Kroger near where I did my undergrad.
It seems insane that I do kind of want to know where this dude's undergrad.
The fact that you have a Kroger that close to where you went to college,
I just think.
Not a good sign.
It's not a good sign.
That it can't be.
You don't go, you know.
It's not Notre Dame?
If we're going to meet up at stanford i don't think
i can be like let's meet at the stop at the kroger it's right next to it i just don't think those
you know if you go down to vanderbilt i guess you're there's no kroger right there but you're
you're in a major city yeah i don't know it's kind of funny the kroger near where i did my
undergrad played a constant high pitch sound outside in front of the store to keep young people from hanging out around there.
Older people didn't notice, but it always drove me crazy when getting groceries.
It did work, though, because no young people loitered in the area.
That's a pretty good idea.
Yeah.
I've seen it used as riot control before.
Yeah.
You can have targeted sounds and just fire it at crowds.
One of the riots you were in?
I haven't seen it in person.
I mean, you just said like, yeah, like you're going out and about.
You go, one of my usual walks.
We all have fun here, but when I leave, I get busy out there on the streets.
You get busy out there on the streets.
And they stopped us.
My Kroger may do it.
What's y'all's problem, kids?
I wouldn't know.
They're going crazy.
They're like, what's wrong?
You could do that in like a Kroger, one of the social.
Just go in there and start playing it super loud and then see all the kids lose it and the adults be like, I don't, what's wrong?
Because that would be crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man.
You mean like a social experiment?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Filming on ring cams.
Shelly Biggs.
My husband and I are relatively new to the stand-up world
and recently went to a show for a supposedly clean comic
only to be disappointed with the amount of hardcore swearing
and adult content.
We had to come home and turn on Nate Lane as a respite?
Respite.
Respite.
What does that mean?
A break.
A break.
A respite.
It's kind of a fancy...
Do people say that instead of break a lot?
I thought it was a Jewish...
Is it a Jewish word?
Is it Yiddish?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Shelly?
She's like, we're uh napoleon i don't have to think of anyone who didn't know what napoleon i couldn't think of it i was trying to think of it
she's like from another country uh she's like i'm sorry we're we're Napoleon. I come from, my ancestors are all Napoleon.
So, which is a mix of everything.
It's the three things.
It can be any of the three things.
We're Napoleon.
It had nothing to do with Yiddish, by the way.
Sorry about that.
Does that do something with Napoleon?
It's old French.
Where's Napoleon from?
France.
Oh.
There you go.
So, if you're Napoleon. You're French. Does someone say there, I'm Napoleon from? France. Oh. There you go. So if you're Napoleon.
You're French.
Did someone say there I'm Napoleon?
Just you.
Oh.
Got a little Napoleon in me.
We got our tickets for Nate's upcoming Minneapolis show
and are looking forward to wearing our homemade shirts
in honor of two of the three podcast crew.
Ooh.
Honor of two of the three.
Breakfast time. How about that, dude? That is no joke love it that's great nice oh thanks for all you gents are doing we appreciate the
fact that we can listen to you and count on great laughs without questionable content uh that's what we're here for boring and we just go that gives me that i mean that whole thing i didn't know respite
was respite respite and i said napoleon
shelly i got outed a few times and just trying to read your thing. And it's just to show off our shirts.
Yeah, yeah.
This has nothing to do with me.
This comment just embarrassed me and my family.
Mine says, Gowd is no joke.
Yeah, that's very funny.
With the Notre Dame logo on there.
Yeah, I like that.
I love it.
Gowd is not a joke, guys.
But Stroke is.
Yeah, breakfast time is actually pretty good
because there's a lot more open space
on the left side and i feel like that's already a that's already a shirt that's in place like
that's a shirt that if you have a stroke and you're back here next week they would be like
well this still works you know yeah yeah it's got that little spot in the left side where it can droop down a little bit.
Sorry.
Am I supposed to make fun of strokes like this?
Do people get upset about it?
We'll see.
People could.
I know.
She's talking about how it's just easy to listen to.
We're making fun of Brian having a stroke.
All right?
It's not.
Sorry.
Halloween comments.
Matt Palmer.
Favorite part of this episode was when old Booberry said the most famous ghost in America, Aaron, in full confidence, broke in with Casper.
And Bryson continues with the bell witch.
I laughed and laughed.
If you're going to be wrong, at least be confident about it.
That's what I've learned from this podcast.
That is the best way.
That is a great takeaway.
That's a good way.
We have some bell witch.
We got bell witch info?
Yeah, somebody reached out to us and said that they reached out to someone they knew at the Adams Chamber of Commerce, I think.
And I think the owner of that cave just died a couple weeks ago from COVID.
They are in flux right now, but they're going to stay on top of it and let us know.
Would you buy the Bell Witch Cave?
You can buy it?
I don't know.
I'm just saying if the owner died.
If they decide to sell?
They try to sell the land?
Yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, let sell? They try to sell the land? Yeah.
Yeah, man.
I mean, let's see.
I'd see how much it costs.
We make $1,500 a weekend, so I can only afford so much.
Yeah, and Leigh-Anne Morgan's from there, right?
She is.
Yeah.
Yep.
She texted me today.
She's like, guys, come on.
I'm your Bo Witch expert. Yeah, we do. We should have her on. Well, we'll have her on. Yeah. Yep. She texted me today. She's like, guys, come on. I'm your Bell Witch expert.
Yeah, we do.
We should have her on.
Well, we'll have her on.
Yeah.
We can talk about those haunted places with her.
She did Bell Witch.
Yeah.
That'd be fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be good.
Yeah.
That is a good one.
All right.
Way to come through.
Leanne Morgan.
She's on tour right now, too.
Very funny.
Benny Blankenship.
Penny.
Man.
I saw that Blankenship. Penny Blankenship. man i saw that blankenship penny blankenship i bet that happens
a lot when my kids were little there was a house that would give out packages of dry ramen noodles
the kids loved it to this day that's the house they remember the most just some weird dude
handing out soup to kids i could see you we had a guy across the street I can picture the guy's house he gave out toothbrushes
because he was a dentist and I can picture that house you remember the ones last night we went
trick-or-treating and uh it's I I think it's my favorite holiday and I do and I even last night
I was like it's my favorite by far i wish we did a little more
to it i wish we made the house a little more scary and like did some stuff like that so maybe
next year i'll try to do it uh because we got someone in our neighborhood we got a great
neighborhood and they uh they just all go uh that's harper and her friend carter harper was a
horse carter was a tig nice uh so they they. So they just run.
They ran through mud at one point.
I mean, your walkways, you can't be on board of the trick-or-treating
and want people to stay on the walkway.
It just is not going to happen.
Like their kids.
They run through the grass.
You run the quickest.
I mean, they don't even.
They stepped in.
They ran through the grass at one point and all stepped in crazy mud.
We had, like, a group of, like, seven kids or something.
And one was this cute.
She was, like, I want to say four, maybe five.
And that's when you see them that little.
You miss yours them that little, you miss,
you miss yours being that little.
And it's fun to watch her want to stay with all the nine year olds and eight
year olds.
And she's,
I mean,
she did it.
She did the whole neighborhood where you were like,
this girl is going to get high.
I mean,
she's tiny and she ran with them.
And then,
then they all trade.
That's a big thing.
Did y'all do that?
They trade their candy. Oh yeah. so they all come up here and do uh y'all didn't trade candy i mean it was just me and my
sister and out of the country we drive miles to each house so yeah no there's no trading yeah
oh i never even thought about that you had to drive from house to house yeah you why didn't
drive to a neighborhood i mean there wasn't even one close yeah yeah uh
yeah we would uh so they they but they it's big to trade so you go in and be like all right
what do you i don't want this who wants this and then so they were doing all of a sudden that
little girl she said uh i was trying to help her trade because i was like she's going to get taken
i mean her sister was in there sister wasn't gonna let him think trade because I was like, she's going to get taken. I mean, her sister was in there. Her sister wasn't
going to let him think. But I was like, these older
girls are going to try to talk her into something that's
not good. You don't want to get a bad deal. Yeah, I was like,
I don't want her to get a bad deal. And then
so she traded one Jolly Rancher
for an Airhead. And I was like, all right,
that's a solid trade. And then
I go, do you want to trade
again? She goes, no, I'm good.
She was just like, I'm done with this.
Like, I don't want to.
I think it was like they're little.
They're like, well, I don't.
Yeah, it's a lot.
So you're just taking my candy?
And her mom would take some too.
It was so funny.
Her mom was like, she would be, because I just, you know,
when you have kids, her bag was getting heavy.
And so her mom's like, let me just carry some of this.
And she's like, no, I'm good.
And she's like, I'm not going to take it from you
and not give it to you.
Because she knows, like once her mom takes it,
it's like, you're going to keep this candy
and I won't get that candy.
Because as a parent, that's what you do as a parent.
And so it was very cute to see her like,
just be like, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll just, I mean, she's having to lug it.
Because she's like,
I do not let my mom take any of this because I won't see this ever again.
But it was fun.
I loved it.
It was the best.
Did you see Nick's mix?
Yeah.
Little Baby?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's their first Halloween together, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And their-
Avocado toast. Avocado toast.
Avocado toast.
Yeah.
California.
Very cute.
Yep.
Yeah, it was the best.
And Halloween is the best.
And we ran around.
Like, these people in our neighborhood, they do, like, this kind of, like, to go get the candy is, like, just kind of all this, like, haunted kind of stuff.
And they go in and do that. And then you get it. And then it's, like, all this like haunted kind of stuff. And they go in and do that.
And then you get it.
And then it's like all this stuff is kind of shaking and stuff.
And then you walk out.
And that one's awesome.
Yeah.
And like they did a thing in their garage where they actually did a haunted house.
There was another one that I went to in Old Hickory that they would do a haunted house.
And you could watch the person go through it
oh like on a screen oh wow like it was like it was just set up and it wasn't like this was like
rigged but they had it rigged where you watch on this little tv and you could you could see like a
camera like you know it was cool so my sister lives in dallas this weekend they went to her
parents her uh father and mother-in-law's neighborhood for Thanksgiving.
Not Thanksgiving, Halloween.
So they just left a big bowl of candy out on the porch, you know, like everybody does.
And they have a ring doorbell.
So they caught, she sent us the video of so quickly, this group of high school kids run up on it.
They see a big bowl of candy they not only take the candy they took
the huge ceramic bowl that she had on their front porch and they were just i mean pretty wild i've
never thought of stealing the bowl yeah you dump it into the bag and people expect that but to take
the bowl with it just took it wrong it's high kids. It's like you're too old to be doing this to begin with.
Yeah.
But why would they – yeah, because you leave this stuff out.
I would always be – I was a rule follower,
so I would always just take what I'm supposed to take.
And you're going to get so much candy.
I don't think kids realize how much candy you're going to get,
especially now even.
I think it's even more than it's ever been because you can buy it.
It just feels like back a long time ago, it just was harder.
Was it harder to buy stuff?
I feel like it's just so easy to buy stuff now.
We'd go into town once a week at the general store.
Yeah, y'all would.
Y'all would.
Y'all really?
I mean, there's some truth to that.
You were looking at me like, was it harder back then? No, no no no i mean even just for us like you'd go to walmart and stuff but
online like now i mean you're just i feel like people can order people order candy and they're
like you're i bet people are buying more stuff now than they've ever bought just because the
ease of going like well i'll just take yeah yeah it's two dollars amazon and i order it
and you're not going out so like when you go out and actually
have to grab some of your hands you can you can be like i'm not buying this is too much candy
but like i think there's people buying more stuff now than ever and like you're seeing how much
candy we have it looks like a bowls two bowls worth that we would be trying to give away yeah
for the neighborhood because everybody always has their own candy too to give back. No one ever rarely goes,
oh, I'm done.
I gave out just the right amount of candy.
Like even ours,
all the cul-de-sacs kind of like
will have like a big,
some tables and stuff.
Like some people just sit out.
And like we had like a fire.
We used our solo stove actually last night.
And we had,
we all built our around that
and so then the parents like we we always the dads we used to go walk with the kids and then uh
the moms used to kind of stay a lot of them stay back and then but they that's what they did and
then you know so they just run up to the but we still had a bunch of our candy left you gotta i
think make it enticing but we i saw more kids in our candy left. You got to, I think, make it enticing.
But I saw more kids in our neighborhood than I've ever seen.
Yeah.
It was definitely, you can tell a lot of people moving in.
Really?
Yeah.
All right.
I don't know where we were at.
Jay Ruffin.
Yeah.
Yeah, we did pennies about the ramen noodles handed out.
Jay Ruffin. Yeah. Yeah, we did pennies about the ramen noodles handed out. Jay Ruffintart.
To answer the airplane window question,
a pilot must have the window closed before takeoff.
Explanation point.
If not, the aircraft will not pressurize and the oxygen mask will deploy.
If you're curious about my sources, I am an airliner, pilot, and mechanic.
Is that good enough? Yeah. why does he have to do both i was gonna say i know he could do both yeah maybe it's a maybe he's not a commercial airline
yeah he has a plane and he works on it yeah i would like to think that he if he was just one
of those we wouldn't believe him he He goes, how do I know this?
By source, I'm an airliner pilot.
You go, whatever.
And he goes, well, I'm a mechanic.
All right.
I guess I'll listen to this.
I'll read it again.
He does have two sources, which I do like.
He's a double source?
Yeah, he's a double source.
If you can be your own double source.
That's pretty impressive.
That's pretty good.
Derek, that's better than any undergrad.
Derek Danik, flew down to Nashville for Nate's show at the Ryman
after buying a ticket nearly two years ago.
Where from, you ask?
Columbus, Ohio, where Nate was the next night.
Well worth the travel expenses and night on my sister's couch
to see the boys and that guy pretending to be Mr. Bargetzi.
Yeah, that's so funny.
That's Batesville.
That's Batesville?
Yeah, Batesville Instagram.
Like she drove down.
I remember she drove down and couldn't go to one.
Oh, right, right, right.
That's like that.
But he actually went to the show.
Yeah. She would have never actually went to the show. Yeah.
She would have never made it to the show.
Yeah, the Batesville world, they just don't even make it.
No.
They don't see the top floor of the –
Of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?
Yeah.
They didn't go – they all did the whole thing.
Like, if they came to a show, if she came to a show, Batesville –
what's it?
Batesville Podcast, right?
Yeah.
It's an Instagram.
And if she came to a show, she'd be like, his dad was on the show?
And you're like, I just saw him.
Nate was the only one I saw.
You're like, oh, yeah, everybody was on the show.
Like, she definitely is not seeing the whole show.
Right.
You almost can't because that's not on brand at the Batesville.
It's a podcast that's like, we don't talk about everything.
How did you not see people going upstairs the whole time you're there i don't you just look up i mean
did you look up at all did you think about looking up i guess not you look up in a lot of rooms
you think i guess i just look straight ahead have you ever been to a second floor of a mall
what have you never have you ever like you only i don't
do escalators you don't do escalators oh he gets on them it's like i mean he's but that's been 10
years i'm gonna get on escalators like that my god i can't imagine now your age after having a
stroke now i gotta go with you to the airport, get on the escalator.
You really don't like doing escalators?
No, I just said that because he talked about how something's happened.
Oh, yeah.
No, but you've ever seen an escalator?
Go on an escalator with him and watch him get on it.
It looks like he's been told within the past two weeks
about escalators' existence,
and this is maybe the third one he's seen.
It's not a smooth transition yeah it's not like it's it's not like it's uh uh yeah he's you know it's
like he's like he knows about him he's done him a couple times but he's not like used to him yet
and he gets on it very will ferrover elf yeah yeah just goes up like that. He just steps on it very like, you know, like it's a ride.
Like, all right, I got to make sure I get the right step.
Or it's going to go real bad.
I struggle with the dismount sometimes.
Yeah.
Because you want it to be smooth.
You just start walking.
But it can be tough.
Yeah, it can be tough.
He'll talk to you in the middle.
He won't talk to you at the beginning and the end.
Got to focus.
Yeah, got to focus.
Like the suit Nazi. He goes, right i gotta get my he just turns away from me and goes
i gotta get off this thing the walking the moving sidewalk i do like oh i love those um i mean i
don't get on them or get off them without probably touching the side handle yeah yeah oh you got to
a lot of people don't yeah i think i could walk on it
really yeah it's moving pretty fast not that how about the people that don't use it
yeah they just walk with it oh really what was the joke saying like go to the airport it's not a ride
you're talking about the people don't use it at all yeah there were there's like one on either
side there's people just walk in the middle,
and I'm like, I'm blazing past them.
You guys are idiots.
I've been that guy.
I do that all the time at Atlanta Airport.
Because I like, if I have time to kill,
I'll just walk in the middle.
It's very calm.
Otherwise, what am I doing?
Do I have to run to go sit down in a seat next to the gate?
That's what people are trying to do. You're trying to be like, how am I going to get? go sit down in a seat next to the gate like that's what people are trying to
do like you're trying to be like how am i gonna get this is big man talk again these idiots just
i mean you're like as you pass them on a shuttle and then you're like why would you walk
is it whoever if i get there before them i get a sit where i can almost hear the speaker at my own
gate i'm never sitting at my own gate i go sit way away from everybody i go find a gate where
there's seats you know and then i mean i'll go back over there when it boards i'll watch people
and it blows me away i mean there'll be one open seat and they will go sit in that seat
i'll you i would never i've never been that guy before comedy for anything i've always been why
would i ever go just be in the mix of everything i would go i would get up especially when you're
about to do it on a plane yeah you know well i mean i understand if you want to hear the thing
but do you really need to yeah would you go sit in you'd go sit with just in the dead center Yeah. You know? Well, I mean, I understand if you want to hear the thing, but...
Do you really need to?
Yeah.
Would you go sit in it?
You'd go sit with...
Just in the dead center?
No.
I mean, if that was literally the only seat, we're going to be there a while, maybe.
I know, but say there's...
So, like, you know, in an airport, there's two gates, right?
There's four gates.
Two are across the way, and then two are on the thing.
But the speakers are really... You can only hear them under your thing.
And there's one empty seat.
Are you going to go sit in that seat?
But it's right next to the gate that you're getting on.
As opposed to what?
Going and sitting at one of the other ones, maybe if it's a little more open.
I'll go to a different concourse if I can find somewhere to sit by myself.
Yeah.
Now, I would go to one of the other sides where there's more seats.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd just keep my eye on it.
Yeah.
All right.
Got the bottom of that.
Got the bottom.
Literally.
Ooh, figured that out.
Connor Smith.
I love that Aaron brought up hallucinogenic aspects of the Salem witch trial.
It was pretty ergot rye mold in the grain silos.
What?
It was ergot rye mold in the grain silos.
Why did I add pretty?
Did you?
I think I did.
You did.
I go, it was pretty ergot rye mold in the grain silos, which makes that sentence.
Because the word present is in the line below it.
Oh.
I think your brain's just getting ahead of itself, man.
Yeah.
Pretty is in the next one too.
I don't.
It was air got rye mold in their grain silos.
That is even.
So that's how the sentence should be. I that aaron brought up hallucinogenics i think hallucinogenics i think i was like my all my
brain wasn't caught back up yeah like i still had some pieces hanging on it was a bit of a hangover
after they got some that got stuck and they go whoa whoa everybody hold on we got it we don't
got everybody and we kept going aspects ofpects of the Salem Witch Trial.
It was pretty ergot rye mold in their grain silos.
I mean, you would think I'm having a stroke with that sentence.
Yeah.
If I said, you know, it was pretty ergot rye mold.
You'd be like, all right, let's see what he said.
Something ergot rye mold in their grain silos.
Most of the remains that have been examined
show that it was present in their system when they died
yeah so i got a pretty major part of that wrong though where i thought the people that were
falsely accusing women of being witches were tripping on yeah on you know hallucinogenics
when really it was the women that were being
accused uh unknowingly no oh it was the did i have it right it wasn't even them it was people were
having weird reactions and fallouts from this hallucinogenics and they thought the witches
were doing that to them oh that's the way i read it oh okay so it was just involved just there
everybody was just tripping and they didn't know what was going on.
Why is she acting like that?
Because this witch did it to her.
That's how I took it.
Oh, okay.
It's pretty argot of you to assume that was what it was.
Yeah, you're right.
Did you get that, Nate?
No.
I about zoned out of y'all's whole thing.
We got to the bottom of it.
The rye in the silo was something was wrong with it.
Yeah.
Got in their bread and caused them to trip out.
There was a late frost one winter.
Oh, and that's why they think, yeah.
You're saying the witches were the ones that were hallucinating.
That's what he said.
He said.
You're saying the whole town was. I think what i read was that's why they thought there were witches because people were having these hallucinations and they thought the witches
were doing it to them so they had to accuse someone oh yeah i'm doing it i could see that
i was thinking their whole town's hallucinated in there like if you weren't they were like you're a
witch yeah i could be wrong they just didn't eat bread that day yeah that's interesting yeah why who was what and you were thinking the witches were the ones which could
be hmm i think they're yeah hmm uh maggie ray this this is an interactive map of the top candy bought
per state i'm from illinois ours is sour patch tennessee's candy is pretty lame
what is wrong with y'all keep the good work my husband and i have tickets for the show in peoria
illinois now nate before i scroll up and reveal this map what do you think tennessee's most
popular halloween candy is and i guarantee you you're not going to guess it correctly
twizzler no twizzler is way better tootsie pops yeah i was going to say
that i had one last night oh all right uh second skittles third what was that saltwater taffy yeah
which i don't know there's there's yeah how they even get this stuff i don't believe any of it so
i dug into this this is a whole this company that wholesales candy across the country.
So they just use their own data from several years of where they were
shipping the most candy in different states.
So apparently Tennessee, they're ordering the most Tootsie Pops,
more than any other candy.
I had some last night.
I think Sour Patch Kids is going to make a big push.
I mean, you know, it's crazy.
Sour Patch Kids is leading in Nebraska, Alaska, Illinois, New York.
What's California?
California is Reese's.
Oh.
New winner.
Reese's is the number one in the whole country, according to this.
What was last year's winner for us?
Doesn't have it on here.
Oh. So whatever was last year's winner for us doesn't have it on here oh so whatever is last year's winner is we were exactly the same this is probably last year's
winner yeah yeah wow ohio's blow pops ugh i like blow pops yeah but to be the number one to be
that's the main thing you're gonna get well i mean that's the thing we're giving tootsie pots i had
it i had because har Harper didn't like it.
And I was like, I'll eat it.
Then I had it last night.
Had it on the wall.
It's actually the first candy I had for me to be acting like it's like,
well, that's crazy.
What is Alaska?
Alaska Sour Patch Kids.
Oh.
Okay.
I mean, Sour Patch Kids are just killing it, dude.
Yeah.
They're just so good.
There's some gummy worms, too, like those, what's the, with the H, like hair.
Haribo.
Haribo or something.
They make a gummy bear that's sour, but it tastes like a gummy bear.
As good as Sour Patch Kids?
Pretty good.
And then Sour Patch Kids has a, there's another kind that, I want to say it's like a high C flavor.
I had a bag of those.
Oh, gosh.
They are unreal.
And I didn't have them.
This was off Halloween.
This was just in the mix of life.
Just living life, man.
It was great, man.
Rachel Kane, the amount of misfortune that happens in Brian's life.
I need a reality show.
Please, someone just follow this man with a camera,
keeping up with the Kardashians,
but have nothing on bad luck Brian.
Can I address this?
Breaking Brian.
That's what we call it, breaking Brian.
Yeah.
I admit I've had my share of embarrassing moments.
I mean, I may be having a stroke right now.
Yeah.
But I also turned 50 today.
So we've all, you live that long, you're going to have some embarrassing moments.
Yeah.
And as comics, we share them.
Yeah.
And that's what makes them funny.
Now, so I hope they don't really think, I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world.
Yeah.
I got great friends, prison company included.
A great job. I get to do what I love. Yeah. I got a great wife. I got included. A great job.
I get to do what I love.
Yeah.
I got a great wife.
I got a baby on the way.
I got a lot to be thankful for.
You don't have a baby on the way.
I do.
Do you really?
Yep.
Are you kidding?
Are you kidding, dude?
Get out of town, man.
There we go.
That's awesome, man.
Congrats, dude.
Congrats, buddy.
That's unreal. That's so great.. Congrats, dude. Congrats, buddy.
That's unreal.
Thank you. That's so great.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
Golly, that's crazy.
Oh, man.
I thought you were just joking.
I got a lot to be thankful for.
Nope.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm very serious.
We'll get to the bottom of this stroke stuff a little bit quicker than we think.
I know.
We'll figure it out.
Got to get it figured out.
Got to be healthy for a baby.
I know. Wow. How far along is she? she's already in second trimester yeah yeah i mean at our age we wanted to really wait and make sure that everything was good but yeah we felt
like now we're at the point where we can tell people so that's so great oh man little girl
a girl oh wow yeah wow that's crazy dude yeah that's crazy so i'm very we're so excited
there's your mom just she she was thrilled yeah she just uh couldn't believe it yeah yeah yeah
so we're all so excited yeah i don't know if anybody thought we're gonna have a kid i'm sure
y'all didn't think you were no we didn't and uh you know it's not easy at our age, but things happen.
It's a miracle.
So we're doing it.
Wow, dude.
Congratulations, man.
If you're the praying type, I ask for continued prayers for a healthy baby.
Yeah.
And that I'm not having a stroke.
Yeah.
Let's do the baby first.
We're going to rank it in order, like the way the prayer is ranking, like where people in states.
we're going to rank it in order like the way the prayer is ranking like where people in states and they go well alaska does uh they did the stroke first but most of the other country did
the baby first yeah that's so awesome man thank you look at that thank you that's so wild that's
one reason ruth hasn't been coming to like your shows this weekend i mean she's not a fan of your
new stuff but also because she didn't want to be around a lot of crowds right now.
Yeah, yeah.
That's total service, man.
That's crazy.
Does Laura know?
Laura doesn't even know.
No, no one knows.
That's unbelievable.
I know.
I honestly thought you were joking.
Well, I'm serious.
Like, you know.
Man, that's so good thank you look at that
you're excited about being a dad i mean you'll be you got any advice for me it's pretty easy
i'll be 68 when she graduates high school yeah that's not you know like theovon i think he had
the joke he says his dad was 70 when he was born. Dad was 70, yeah, when he was born.
When he was born.
Yeah.
But, yeah, when you're 68, when you graduate, I mean, you're not any different than, you know.
I think usually people at your age that are on your age track are just a little more successful.
True.
So we'll have some obstacles.
I tried to think of an example the only example i think it was like you know like multi-millionaires they got divorced uh with the first wife and married
second wife a lot of them i think you could relate to a lot of them they have a nanny they have a
nanny they have like larry king like has like a five-year-old you know i think died i think right
yeah yeah but like and he had like didn't he have, like, little babies?
You're like, yeah.
So.
Yeah.
Y'all have a lot in common.
You have just as much in common as not in common.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But, no, I think that'll be great, yeah.
That's very exciting.
April 8th.
April 8th.
That's my sister's birthday. That's very exciting. April 8th. April 8th.
That's my sister's birthday.
That's her fake birthday that I think.
Because she was due on, I think Abigail's birthday is the 12th, I think.
Maybe it's the 8th.
Yeah.
Every year, I can't remember.
She was due on one of the days and was born the other day.
And I don't remember which was which. She just celebrates both? on mix no no i'm the only one that gets mixed up yeah but i've always got them
mixed up because i was 10 years old when i found it so it was like that that number stuck in my
head so much because i was so young and so every year on her birthday i'm like i can't like she
was due one day and then she's born the next and i and i don't remember which one's which so you could be finally an eighth maybe it's my sister what
we were shooting for yeah man look at that yeah that is a good that is a lot of stuff
i thought you were like you want to comment on it i mean i was taking i i really did not i thought
right i thought you're about to be
like listen i'm tired of getting comments like these honestly yeah i was like you know you're
having a stroke you're having like yeah dude i get it i get it that's it wow yeah uh yeah that's
how you figure out you know yeah being i like being having a kid, it's the best.
Nothing better.
My kid's right there.
And, yeah, they made, it's great.
So let's do, someone mentioned the word count.
Yeah.
We have to shift from the big news.
Because that was big news.
That's huge news.
That's the first breaking story we've ever had.
I'd be the only one.
Yeah.
Probably will be.
Yeah, we don't break a lot of stuff on here, but broke that.
That was the first break, yeah.
Yeah.
Having a baby.
Yeah.
And people, yeah.
It's been hard not telling you guys.
I mean, we were together all weekend this weekend.
How long have you known?
A week, a month, a year? Yeah long have you known a week a month a year
yeah i've known for quite a while yeah yeah that's hard to not tell yeah but i get you know when
you're older it's like you got to be super careful and then uh it's you gotta wait a little bit
longer yeah and then you know when you're like 24 and you're like you tell
everybody that week that day uh but yeah yeah that's awesome man thank you it's great it's
great it's crazy it's big yeah aaron i don't have anything to announce. Walk-in cooler? Same kind of emotion.
You'd feel terrific.
You're going to come in one day and go,
I did it, boys.
I got a walk-in cooler at my house.
I feel like the luckiest man in the world.
I've got a great wife.
I got a walk-in cooler at my house.
It's where I'll be delivering the baby,
and then you're like, ah!
Oh, man.
I'm excited. Yeah. Thank's yeah so nate word count so this is when i was asking yeah so you um i guess it was last week's episode we were talking
about how many words we use in common language and you you joked that you used, what did you say,
I don't know, 50 or something like that.
And you said, I'd love to know how many words
I actually use in my specials.
Yeah.
And somebody did a program and found out for you.
Yeah.
So they do a program.
A few people did this, WordCloud.
This guy broke it down maybe more than anybody.
So there's a program to do this.
Mm-hmm.
Because I was like, people just like people just like old you know to lick the pen and be like just add it up to like my fantasy football i know
that's why i'm like i feel bad i'm like well everybody did this like yeah yeah yeah so nate
used over 1200 unique words in his first net special and over 1,300 in his latest special.
Your vocabulary is growing.
Expanded by over, just under 100.
I wonder what the average, I don't know, make someone figure out.
I know.
Give him more work to do.
I don't want to give you, but you already have the, I wonder what some other comics,
It's already open.
You'd be like, what would would be is this good or bad
dennis miller yeah yeah what is dennis like it'd be a pretty different i think uh most common word
each time was i i no words in the top 50 had more than one cell syllable
no words in the top 50 that's definitely true yeah nate was correct that both like and so were
in his top 20 uh was said 103 times in the first special but only 33 times in the second special
pretty good i've got that down yeah yeah which i have consciously worked on that makes me feel
wonderful that's a lot.
Yeah.
And I think, I mean,
hopefully this one,
I got it down even more.
It's nice to even see
that you're like,
all right, I've been truly
working on that.
Try not to do it in real life
and then make that go into,
I consciously think about it.
It's like,
just give yourself that moment.
Don't go,
you're still going to do it,
but don't,
when you're thinking, just make
myself stop and then say it.
And that's, so that's actually very nice to hear that, that shows you that you can just
do that.
And that's a, I get 70 times less.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Substantial.
Yeah.
So if you, if you think you do something too much, don't, just don't say it.
What was it again?
The uhs to us?
I think it's uh.
I know, but tell me the numbers again for each special.
103 times in the first special, 33 times in the second special.
Yeah.
I mean, that's pretty great.
Yeah.
In this first special, you name drop Vanderbilt four times.
It goes unmentioned in your latest special.
Ah, forgetting where he came from.
Mm-hmm.
Forgetting where he came from.
That's what I said.
I don't think it's mentioned in this one either.
Yeah.
So the words are all just like I and you, it, like, that, the.
It's all those kind of words.
She, 109 times.
You use I 81 more times in this last special, dude.
Talking about myself too much.
Just getting a little self-absorbed.
Yeah.
You, it.
Yeah, I wonder.
100 more words.
That's so funny.
That's so cool.
I love how you think all polls are just bogus.
And then this one you're like
Finally someone
Well this guy did a program
This is right on
So why would that be wrong?
I agree
But I mean this is off too
This is off like a
It's not a
It's a very easy thing to put in
You're putting in this special and this special
and the program's going.
Like the candy thing could be, who knows?
Yeah.
What, you know, who are they asking?
They're going to one place that sells candy.
What if, you know, do you go?
That's fair.
That is fair.
What if, you know, they're not used in,
you know, we don't have big sales to Tennessee.
So, but our big seller tennessee's
tootsie roll pops yeah what if that's the case that could be absolutely could be easily could
be it's got to be one of the states to be like our most common candy out to california's reese
pieces but like we were based in atlanta so i don't even know. We're probably not going to start sending stuff to them anymore
is what they're going to say.
That's pretty awesome that he did that for you.
Yeah, no, it's very, very nice.
It's very, very cool.
That's unbelievable.
I love it.
And he said, I don't know if you mentioned his name or not.
Dave Perry.
He's coming to your show in, is it Bellingham?
Yeah.
Washington?
All right.
Dave, we'll get you to say hello to Dave.
Yeah.
I wonder if you can give me a heads up that night of the show.
I think it's in May or something.
Oh, no.
I'm saying, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, just email us back and we'll get you all squared away.
Analyze your set that night.
Analyze my set that night. Analyze my set that night.
Like after the show he comes up.
It's kind of more work for you.
Bring your laptop.
He's got this like in his hat and he's like on all his papers and he's like, all right.
It was tough, but.
Smoking a cigarette?
Yeah.
But I think I got it.
I mean, just paper after paper, just being like, I don't't it's even hard to read this kind of stuff
one of those little green visors yeah just trying to figure it out yeah uh they uh yeah the shows
in nashville were crazy and everybody that came out to that is it was just so nice and my dad was
on the rhyme and i mean out the columbus every show up, every show has been so great. I'm trying to say unbelievable.
I'll say unbelievable.
But every show has been so great.
And it was special, the Grand Ole Opry and the Ryman.
Grand Ole Opry being that was the first job I had was Opryland Theme Park.
My dad worked in that theme park too, doing magic in that theme park.
So for both of us to get to be on that stage is pretty insane
because you never thought we would ever, you know, why would get to be on that stage is pretty insane. Because you never thought we would ever, you know,
why would we ever be on that stage?
And then the rhyming is too, it's just crazy.
It's just.
Your dad cried both shows?
Cried both shows.
I mean, it was.
Your dad got two standing O's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean.
In one show.
In one set.
In one set. He finished his last trick, got a standing set yeah one set he finished his last trick got a
standing go and then he brought you up and got a standing go and i was like oh my gosh yeah murder
yeah yeah i think somebody gets standing when he walks out yeah yeah they love him they love him
and he does great uh you appeared on the grand opera again yep i did apparently i did well
enough the first time for them to invite me back. All right. So I did it again.
First time as a father.
Yeah.
Well, I haven't had the baby yet.
Yeah, well, just in general.
But it went great, and everybody at the Opry is so nice,
so I'm glad to get to do it again.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think they said something about, I think I need to go do it.
I'd like to do it.
Yeah. The Grand Ole Opry. They said something it. I'd like to do it. Yeah.
The Grand Ole Opry.
They said something to me about you coming to do it.
Yeah.
So that's how you get on.
What do you got to do to get on to be in the Grand Ole Opry?
It helps them know us.
Yeah, that's true.
I'll put in a word for you.
How many times have you been on?
I've done 10 or 11 times now.
10 or 11 times?
Yeah.
Wow.
How long do you do?
Anywhere from eight minutes to, i did 20 there once wow yeah because somebody somebody finished early so they were like you're doing 20 yeah
it's one of those things you don't even have time to like get nervous because you're i'm walking out
on stage so it's always been fun though yeah yeah that's crazy crazy. You had your national TV debut on Howie Mandel and Friends.
I did, on the CW.
CW.
Yeah, Howie Mandel.
Don't sneeze on me, it was called.
It was great.
You did a wonderful job.
Thank you.
One of the things I love, he's following in your footsteps.
It aired the same night as the Titans-Bills Monday Night Football game.
One of the best Monday Night Football games in years.
Yeah.
Same night. Well, I was driving back to maybe find a way to watch it i don't have cable so i was driving back and uh my minivan broke down oh and uh i had to call triple a and then the jokes i
told on the special were all about my minivan having problems which is just so funny the irony
of it i couldn't even get home to watch it because my minivan broke down.
Yeah, that's comedy.
That's like a story.
That would be a story in IQ.
Yeah.
Is that kind of idea.
Because when you first get TV, that's what's always funny too,
is you get TV.
I remember having day jobs, and you would be like,
I was on television last night.
I filmed late in Conan, I was on television last night. I filmed it late in Conan.
I was there.
And now I'm at a temp job.
I remember going to a temp job and being at a convention.
And I got a shirt on.
I still have those shirts that say, ask me a question.
And so I'd be like someone, they come in and they go, where does this?
And I would just tell them.
I had that job.
And you were on TV.
And I was on television the night before.
That's so funny.
And you get up and go do that job the next day.
It's pretty wild.
It's pretty crazy.
But that's what it is.
You drive in a van.
I'm sure I'm biased, but I thought you had one of the best sets of anybody on that special. Thank you, man.
Appreciate that.
Really good.
Who else was on it?
God, it was great.
Patton Oswalt, Preacher Lawson, Natasha Leggero, Ryan Hamilton.
It was like a crazy lineup.
Yeah, that's crazy.
And then was it like a one-time show?
It was just a one.
They do one just for laughs, with just for laughs every year.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just like a gala show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a gala show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The fact that it was on CW.
Yeah, it's pretty cool, man.
It's usually not on, it's usually just up there in Canada.
Right, and it's not 4.2 this time.
It has an actual number.
I'm guessing.
I don't have cable.
No, CW is a real channel.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, because they usually have that in,
gals are in Canada. They only show them up there yeah and they so you don't ever see you don't
ever see them and uh and you filmed it when you went to just for laughs that's what you film i
went back a month month later and filmed it out there yeah that's great they put it up pretty
quick yeah very cool that's cool man that's great. You also visited the Grand Canyon.
I did.
Packed a lunch.
I did, man.
I bit off a little more than I could chew.
I hiked down four and a half miles, and then you just turn around and hike four and a half miles back up.
Straight up.
Straight up.
Straight up.
Saw someone with a mask on out there.
I did.
Yeah.
I did.
It's still very funny.
We were up to things just under that Grand Canyon.
The freshest air on planet Earth.
Yeah, and you got a mask.
Wild.
This weekend when we were in Columbus, we stayed an extra day.
So we were just hanging out in hotel rooms.
And I hear a knock, housekeeping.
And then I just hear a guy go, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I'm still
in bed here. Uh, and she's like, Oh, well, sorry, your door was open. And I was like, what idiot?
Yeah. Left his door open. And a few hours later we go to lunch and we see the house
screams. You go, Hey, I'm sorry about walking in on you, Aaron, but your door was open.
I barely remember this, but I was asleep and i woke you know you wake up
suddenly you don't really know what's going on i just kind of like jolted awake and the woman's in
the room and i go whoa whoa whoa i'm still give me a minute it was so awkward and i was probably so
rude to her in that moment that when we passed each other in the hallway i stopped and gave her
a super awkward apology and b Brian heard all of it.
Yeah.
I thought she apologized to you first for walking in on you.
Well, she did that so that I could give her, so I could apologize.
Because I didn't know it was her.
Oh.
We had hotel rooms.
We actually shared a door.
Yeah.
That's how close the rooms were.
So he heard all that.
So you think you left your door just accidentally ajar?
I almost don't believe.
I don't believe my door was open.
Oh, I don't know if I'd believe that either.
I think I forgot to put the do not disturb thing. I think that's what she probably said.
And you probably heard.
No, she did say that.
She said your door was wide open.
And I go, I didn't leave the door wide open that night.
Wide open?
You prompted it?
Yeah, like I put a chair there or something. I didn't get the wide open like you prompted yeah like I had it like I put a chair
there or something
I didn't get the wide
I thought maybe
you just put the little latch
but she said
it was completely
she said the door
was wide open
you slept all night
yeah with a wide open
bed
yeah
it was pretty funny though
you get a little breezy
in here huh
yeah
you get the hall light
it was
that hall light
was something it's like when michael scott
through that party when he went on the road and had the strobe light and all the alcohol
just sit in his room by himself the uh that's uh the hall light in the hotel the hotel was great
very nice hotel but you could see like it was a very old building sometimes when you're in those
old buildings they're i mean like the bottom of the door was like i mean it's just
it was enough light it's a nightlight worth of light yeah that comes under that hallway in the
door and if someone walks by you just hear everything like you just you would hear every
single thing yeah and you're like these old places you're like you're just you feel like we're all like in a hostel staying together yeah i could hear aaron's phone conversations oh yeah yeah
he's like this old guy next to me he's just terrible he's never gonna have a kid
he's too old he's too old to have a kid. He's probably going to have a stroke soon. I'd bet. Anyway, so I'd put the walk-in cooler, I'd put it right,
not where you would think.
I think you'd walk through it from the front door.
I think you'd walk through it to get into the house,
and then that's how he would end it.
I should be headlining?
Yeah.
Oh, I am headlining this weekend.
Gutty's Comedy Club.
Oh, yeah.
In Greenwood, Indiana.
Hop, skip, and a jump from Indianapolis.
Come on down.
It's going to be fun.
Yeah, you've been there.
It's a good club.
Mm-hmm.
I'm with Leanne Morgan.
It's Friday in Hagerstown, Maryland, and the following Friday in Indianapolis.
Oh, nice.
That's good.
Yeah.
Where am I?
I don't know.
I'm in
Champaign, Illinois
somewhere.
Yeah.
I might just go to
natebargetzi.com
Nate Bargetzi.
But I got
the dates I've got coming up.
Go look at it.
All right.
Let's see.
We're about to tell you.
Virginia Theater.
Oh, it's sold out.
Hope you got tickets.
Pats, Milwaukee.
Seven is sold out.
Nine tickets left for the 930.
State Theater in Minneapolis.
I think both shows are sold out
you can go check them though i mean like they go check them uh rochester minnesota
uh tickets there mayo civic center auditorium there's still there's still tickets there
uh you can take your time on that one too you better get the tickets rochester you can't sell
it everywhere that paps theater everybody says that's one of the best theaters
in the country.
Yeah, it's very great.
Yeah.
And then I got that into this.
This travel is this weekend.
So I go from, so stop right there.
So I go Rochester, Minnesota.
We take the bus to Chicago.
I got to fly from Chicago to New York to go do this Stand Up for Heroes thing
with Jon Stewart and Bruce Spring.
Yeah, awesome thing.
And it's not televised or anything.
And so I fly.
So that show is on the 11th.
No, wait.
That show's on the 7th.
The 8th, I've got to be in New York.
And then the 9th, I have to be in San Diego.
Wow.
And then I'll have the 10th to just get to Royal Oak, Michigan,
which we have four sold.
Three of them, I believe, are sold out.
So 9 p.m. tickets left.
But go check all that stuff out.
All this info is on the website.
But shows have been packed and been doing really good.
And I enjoy when y'all people,
when you guys,
when the folks come out,
the yell let's go folks.
It's very cool.
It's very cool.
Yeah.
So that's it.
I think that's it.
That was a good,
you know,
we can probably put big news
in the title.
Yeah.
Should we? I think so news in the title. Oh, yeah. Should we?
I think you can say.
I think so.
I would say in breakfast, drop some big news.
Again, it's an office when Michael Scott said.
Comments at catching up with breakfast giving big news.
Yeah.
Some podcasts still know how to.
Yeah.
We'll see how much we can fit in there. Yeah. Yeah. Some podcasts still know how to. Yeah. We'll see how much we can fit in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yes.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We're just doing some catch up.
Thank you guys for reading all the comments.
Or coming in.
Not reading all the comments.
But hearing them.
Yeah.
And writing them in.
We truly appreciate that.
We appreciate you guys coming to every show that you come to.
We appreciate you. Basically. I've that you come to. We appreciate you,
basically. I've been in a very appreciative
mood lately.
I've been thinking about that a lot with even
shows.
You always think
you can't, when you do a show,
I can't do it if y'all are not
there. If the audience is not there,
like if this podcast, we can't do it if you're not there.
So there's you guys, I mean art you could argue is it's an equal relationship that we have uh
and so i was trying to remind myself of that it's good to you know i think they it's good to let say
a thank you to everybody there uh yeah let's listen even the ones that some people are like well i'm not a fan that's true
you know uh all right i think we have the baby i think ruth would have the baby
live on the on the live podcast i got my celesta uh my brother's wife she's a midwife
really yeah sister-in-law she can do it get in one of those tubs. Zany stage is a little high.
I don't think everybody has to see everything, but just enough.
And you come out and you hold the baby up like a –
Sibba.
Like Sibba.
You'll probably be in a wheelchair,
but someone next to you will hold the baby up next to you.
We can talk about it.
All right.
All right.
Hey, that's all we want.
First we'll go to my stroke doctor and see how that's going yeah it walks in everything's i figured the whole when you walk in it's all
slanted to the right is it i don't know why i just think is you one side what did they they did that
pictures only on the right side it just he's why is the left side not decorated because
you know a lot of people come in here don't even you don't
even know that's how we tell out the gate yeah if you go there's no pictures on the left side
they go then you're fine you're going out of here and then there's that's uh all right one more
stroke dude that was it that was the last one uh all right we love y'all thank you see you next week thanks everybody for listening to nateland podcast be sure to subscribe to our show on
itunes spotify you know wherever you listen to your podcast and please remember to leave
us a rating or comment nateland is produced by by me, neighbor Getsy and my wife,
Laura on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is
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Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate land pocket.