The Nateland Podcast - #75 Jon Reep (And a little North Carolina)
Episode Date: December 1, 2021On this week's podcast, we're joined by Nate's longtime friend and fellow comedian Jon Reep. Nate and Jon talk about their early days of doing comedy together, the guys break down a video of Jon being... escorted out of a Carolina Panthers game, they look at a website listing the greatest podcasts in the world and eventually they talk a little bit about Jon's home state of North Carolina.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com #nateland #natebargatze   Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep.com/NATE. That’s up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows at Helix Sleep.com/NATE.   Keeps - Keeps.com/Nate  If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com/Nate to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's Keeps.com/Nate to get your first month free! Keeps.com/Nate   TrueBill - Truebill.com/Nate  Don’t fall for subscription scams. Start cancelling today at Truebill.com/NATE. Go right now - Truebill dot com slash NATE - it could save you THOUSANDS a year. Truebill.com/NATE.  Vuori - VuoriClothing.com/Nate ·    Vuori is an investment in your happiness. ·    For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase. ·    Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at VUORI CLOTHING DOT COM SLASH NATE ·    That is V-U-O-R-I CLOTHING DOT COM SLASH NATE ·    Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. ·      Go to VUORI CLOTHING DOT COM SLASH NATE and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello folks, welcome to Nateland. I am Nate, that's Brian, Aaron, and we have a special
guest in with us, my buddy John Reap. Thank you. Super you super excited yeah everybody went crazy dude everybody
said what how'd y'all get him it wasn't easy we had to get him we flew him out here yeah thank
you helicopter from downtown because i won't drive well i like that you have a landing pad up here
well so very convenient for you yes yeah i had to do it just for you most people were willing to
drive but you were high High maintenance that way.
Yeah.
I drove to the airport in Nashville, but then I needed the helicopter from the airport here.
Yeah, understandable.
Yeah.
Understandable.
We want to make you happy.
Thank you.
All right.
Made it through those.
That's what I got a lot.
I read those correctly.
You did great.
Yeah.
I mean, I did.
It wasn't as good as... You did great. Yeah. I mean, I did. I wasn't as good as, you know.
You did great for you.
For me.
Yeah.
Not great in general.
Yeah.
Just bills is the only thing.
Bills.
But that's just because you stopped.
You know, my daughter just said it.
How would you say, like, a football or a soccer, like, what's the?
A soccer team?
No, where they play.
Field?
Yeah, field.
What did I just say?
I think you said field.
Field.
Field.
Now that I'm aware of it.
Field.
I call it, it's a pitch, technically.
Oh, yeah.
You're going out to the pitch, but you play alone because you're in Alabama
and no one knows what that means.
A football pitch. I'll meet you, I think soccer pitch. Would you play alone because you're in Alabama and no one knows what that means? A football pitch? I'll meet you
at a soccer pitch.
In Alabama, you're going to go,
boys, you're going to go to a soccer pitch and y'all just be at two
different fields.
They would be like, what is he talking about?
A pitch is baseball.
They'd come out there with their baseball gloves
and they're like, what are you talking about, dude?
How do you kick this little ball?
He comes from old money.
You might not know.
I never knew it was called a pitch.
Yeah. Well, he's high class.
That's what the field's called?
I think that might just be rugby, actually.
I know rugby's called a pitch.
I just went to my first soccer match.
Nashville has a team now.
Oh, yeah.
And I knew nothing about it.
And we were winning 2-1.
I'm watching the score, the clock countdown.
Game over. I'm like, all right, let's go. And then they're like, no. about it and we were winning two to one i'm watching the score the clock countdown game over
i'm like all right let's go and then they're like no they put more time on at the end yeah after it's
i did not know this yeah yeah how much time i don't know i couldn't find anywhere to even see
how much time it was but the other team tied it up during this in stoppage time stoppage time yeah
and and then the game just ends in a tie.
Oh, see. That's where...
I don't like that. They should put that
for y'all, for your age group.
If they're trying to get y'all, they should put
the explanation of that next to
the weather. You think that's an age thing?
I think your age group should
have... Y'all are always checking
the weather, and they should go... They should put it
right below the weather, and they should put it right below the weather,
and they know 15 above is going to be like, oh, I get the game.
Overtime?
No, just because they want to see the rules of it.
I knew that soccer did that.
But I mean, I'm not the biggest soccer fan.
But did you know that there's an overage time?
Yeah.
I think a lot of people know that.
I don't really understand it so much.
If I really studied it hard, I could figure it out.
Do you even see that time, or is it a secret?
I couldn't find it anywhere.
That's what I...
That's not so crazy to me.
Oh, so you're saying it doesn't show up on the scoreboard?
No, it just shows zero up there on the clock.
So who's keeping track of it?
I think it's...
Is it secret?
Do y'all know?
Yeah.
Why is it so secret?
I think it's secret.
When you watch the World Cup on TV, it'll show like five minutes of stoppage time.
Yes.
I think it says that.
Well, it's stoppage time.
Stoppage.
And then they add stoppage time to the stoppage time, too.
You can do it again.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
It's a double name.
That's a lot.
You're like, yeah, you get home late.
You're like, man, the game ended two hours ago.
And then you're like, but it was stoppage time.
I'm not going to say it's a 15-year-old thing.
You guys know maybe this much more
than I do
I know that
they're
I'm going to stand
I'd just love to see you
up there in your seat
and it goes
hits all zeros
you go alright everybody
let's get out of here
I did
you're passing people
excuse me
can you get by
and everybody's like
the game hasn't even
started yet
I thought John
might actually
stoppage of the time I asked John how old he was before the show because started yet. I thought John might actually have... They stopped us at the time.
I asked John how old he was before the show because I got excited.
I thought I might have somebody that...
I'm 49.
I'll be 50 in March.
March what?
March 26.
I'm 25.
March 25.
Oh, yeah.
I'm 25 years old.
You're 25 years older than me.
Yes.
Oh, we have the same...
Oh, okay.
Yeah. Listen, I'm trying to plan something. Yes. Oh, we have the same? Oh, okay. Yeah.
Listen, I'm trying to plan something.
I just got engaged, by the way.
Yes, congrats.
Thank you.
Very excited.
And my fiance has never been to Nashville,
and she wants to do like a 50th birthday party for me in Nashville.
Yeah.
So I'm pulling out as many freebies as I can.
Are you going to be around March 26th?
Do you want to hang out with me?
Oh, of course. I actually already think I'm in Durham. Do you going to be around March 26th? Do you want to hang out with me? I think I'm in
Durham.
I'm in Durham. I swear to you.
Are you really? I'm almost positive on my birthday.
Can I go to your website right now?
See if on his website
if he's in Durham March 26th.
It actually says wide open
be at home.
Why would they put that on my website?
Out of Nashville.
Nothing to do.
Not in Nashville.
We're typing it right now.
Slow down.
Don't go that fast.
So what are you?
No, look, I'm in Atlanta.
Oh, Duke.
I'm honestly impressed that you know that that far out.
Only because of my birthday.
That's the only reason.
Oh, right, right, right.
I couldn't have told you
anywhere else,
but I could have told you.
You know,
I don't know if I told you,
but I remember
meeting Brian Regan
for the first time.
And I told him
he was coming to TPAC.
I don't know if I've said this.
He was coming to TPAC
in Nashville.
And I met him at Caroline's.
And it was Big J.
It was so funny.
Big J was opening for him.
It was obviously
not the cleanest comment.
But,
and so we're back there and I just hung out with Jay.
And so we meet Regan, and then I asked him, I was like, oh, you're coming,
because this was his last comedy club he did.
And then he was going to theaters.
This was years ago.
Yeah, okay.
And I go, you're going to be in Nashville at TPAC on this day.
And I remember he was like, oh, yeah, I think so.
I don't, you know, it's hard for me to keep.
And I was like, how do you not know where you're going to be?
And I get it more than – it took me borderline 18 years
to understand that he didn't know where he's going to be.
How far out was it when you were asking him, like, a week, two weeks?
No, no.
Six months?
It might have been six months.
It might have been somewhat close. But it's like, you know, there's times you're going, I don't know where it was six months. It might have been somewhat close.
But there's times you're going, I don't know where I was last night.
Yes.
I'm like, where was I?
How far out do you think you could go these days?
Oh, I don't think I could.
I know the first one's back, I think it's one Chicago.
Go to January.
I think it's Chicago.
I go to Vegas in December.
So I know this weekend I go to Pittsburgh and Cleveland, Chicago. I go to Vegas in December. So I know like this weekend I go to Pittsburgh and Cleveland,
and then I go to Vegas next weekend.
Then I want to say to start back up, it's like Chicago.
So you go all the way up to January?
Cincinnati.
No, Lexington.
Sorry.
I'm messing, I'm blowing the whole thing.
Yeah, so I've, all right, two shows in Lexington.
Yeah.
Then Cincinnati and then Chicago.
I'm the same.
I will get out to about mid-December, if you ask me right now.
I'll go mid-December, and it's after that.
You're like, I don't know.
I'm somewhere.
I'll just go look it up.
You tell me.
I don't know.
It's in your phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what they always ask you.
That's, too, the other thing that people always ask you.
They ask what time the show starts.
Oh, my God.
It's just so... I had someone ask. They go, what time the show starts oh my it's just so i had someone ask
they go what time do you go on actually and you're like dude we're not a band like i think it's like
a band you could do that oh right right right like the opening act like they want to skip the
openers like they want to skip though but in a band i think that's a little more asked because
it's like yeah the openers might play for 40 minutes
or it might be an hour and a half before you go on.
But for comedians, it's like we go on 30 minutes and then I'm on.
So you're trying to save 30 minutes?
Yeah, go see my friend.
I've invited my friends to come and he'll know that.
But what time does Nate go on?
My buddy just went and saw John Mulaney at a theater and he got there kind of late
and he's he's a comedian who opens for people so he was i want to get there and see the opener
because i've been that guy so he's trying to get there's a big line outside and the show
starts and people start freaking out and the concession stand lady goes
everybody don't worry don't worry it's just the opener. Show hasn't even started. Oh, no.
The opener's heavy.
It's hard.
When you're an opener, it's, I mean, it's still great because you're in a theater.
Yeah, it's still awesome.
It's still awesome, but it's like, and you try to, like, I tried to make it very, as normal as you can make it.
Just because I was, was obviously we all opened forever
and so you try to make it as normal as you can but it's just very hard because the show starts i mean
people don't get there and like they you know and you have your i feel like you're the fans
are usually up close they're most excited they're there so you're at least like we try not to start
they always ask the percentage i feel like how many you're in i want to say it's like you try to get like 70 or
something like you don't want to go you know if it's 40 you're not going to go up don't you think
most theaters start kind of on time as opposed to clubs where they're like i i think we start
usually it usually ends up being 10 minutes late i mean, there'd be a couple nights where you're like, yo, everybody's here.
We can go.
It's a matter of the audience.
The theater would like, everybody wants to start on time.
But it's a matter of when people can get there.
And sometimes there's traffic with COVID stuff.
There's a whole thing.
And then, so we try to start 7, 10, 7, 15.
In LA, we started at 7, 40.
And the show was supposed to be at 7. But is like you got to go drive downtown and it's just traffic a night i mean people don't even have a shot of
getting in before 7 40 yeah uh but you know were they doing like covid testing or something uh they
might they have they like la does yeah uh but, yeah, they might've done that stuff,
but it's just the parking down there.
We went to the car show down there, the LA Auto Show,
and the parking was insane.
Where was that?
At Convention Center, right next to Staples.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a madhouse.
Yeah.
That whole area.
Yeah.
There's like 18 interstates that go right through there,
it seems like, right?
Yeah.
Every road seems like an interstate, right?
They're on top of each other going different ways.
It's like if you've got GPS, it's where you're like,
well, I'm just going to get off at the wrong thing.
Because they'll say, like, turn left, and then you're like, but they all.
And it can't keep up with how fast you're.
Actually, we'll slow down to like 15 miles an hour on an interstate
just for my GPS to let me know.
Oh, no, construction, we weren't ready for that.
We weren't, sorry.
Well, sometimes they'll show you the name of the sign
and then it's
like
go west. You're like, alright.
You start going west and the west is just to get
you to go over there. Then it's like east.
You're like, but you said west
GPS. How would you lie
to me like that?
It's been a fun week.
I did have, I know a lot of people responded.
Thank you for the Grammy thank yous or the Grammy stuff.
You're both very nice.
Can we clap on here?
I'm excited for you, buddy.
We will.
Congratulations.
It's crazy, man.
Looking at this list here. Look at this you, buddy. We will. Congratulations. It's crazy, man. Looking at this list here.
Look at this list, brother.
Lavelle Crawford.
Killer.
Yes.
One of the funniest dudes ever.
I heard you, and I've quoted you saying this so many times. Heard you on a podcast where you called Lavelle Crawford the triple threat.
He's a triple threat.
What does that mean?
Because, well, he looks funny.
You look at him, you start laughing.
He's got a pointy head.
Yeah.
His eyeballs bulge out.
He's a big dude.
Yeah.
He sounds funny, the way that he talks.
He could say anything, and you'd be kind of laughing.
Just, just call it away, talk it out.
He's just loud, and he hits the words, you know.
And then the things he says is actually funny.
He's actually got good jokes and good material.
That is a triple threat. That is a triple threat.
It's a triple threat.
Yeah.
Yeah, Chelsea Handler, Louis C.K., Louis Black, me, and Kevin Hart.
Yes, buddy.
Very surprising.
Congratulations.
Do you get that midnight phone call?
Like they always, you know, like if it's an Oscar,
it's like, oh, I was asleep.
It was 2 a.m. and I got a phone call.
Is that what happens at the Oscars?
I think so.
Really?
Did you see that story on Tonight Show?
The actors in there and they're like, when did you know you were nominated?
And you're like, oh, I was asleep.
It was 2 in the morning and I hung up on it.
I thought it was a joke.
No, I think that's, the Oscars announce it just like the Grammys, but oftentimes they're
in Europe or something.
Oh.
Oh, is that what it is?
So it is the middle of the night when they find out.
Yeah.
That's probably what I'm thinking then.
So when did you, yeah, what was your day?
It was the next day.
And so I was in L.A.
So they were being announced at 9.
And so they asked me not too long ago to come announce some of these.
So I was having to, but they said you can't do comedy because you're,
I was submitted for. Everybody gets submitted.
A lot of like being submitted is the Tennessee Kid was submitted.
You know, if you're Netflix, they make it.
So it's an album and everybody's asked about the album,
but it's like they make these vinyls and that's basically what gets submitted to here.
People have, I've signed, I've autographed some vinyls.
Actually,
the first time I ever saw
the Tennessee Kid vinyl
was someone asked me
to autograph it
and I was like,
I don't even know how you got it.
I go,
where did you get it?
I pressed it myself.
He goes,
I like you.
He goes,
it was just him
recording his own voice on it.
He goes,
Olivia,
and this is when people laugh
and you're like,
oh,
he's into it.
So is this just an album?
I mean, this is album of the year.
So is there no video for this?
Not for this.
It would be an Emmy would be for the special.
Right, right.
And who decides this?
But you can't do both.
I mean, you can't have, I mean, you could take the audio from a video and just say,
well, that's an album.
Yeah. So this is not just audio. This the audio from a video and just say, well, that's an album. Yeah.
So this is not just audio.
This is audio from the video.
Yeah.
But it's like, I didn't record this separately.
Okay.
It was my special, and they just take the audio.
The way they play your album is serious.
Sure, sure, sure.
And so they just take it, they make it in a vinyl, so they can submit you for a Grammy.
Yeah, okay.
Good deal, man.
Because otherwise, it would be just straight-up albums.
Right.
Who decides this?
It comes up with the...
I had a big say in it.
You paid them off?
Yeah.
They said, I mean, whoever the Grammy voters are, they vote.
Are they the same people who will vote for the winner?
I believe so.
And, you know, one thing that is good, there's a lot of Grammy voters in Nashville. Oh and you know one thing that is good there's a
lot of grammy voters in nashville because i mean there's a ton because they're this is where music
yeah and uh which probably helped me and then yeah so i found out so i so i did the thing where i read
the names which i made it through it yeah i only had to stop a couple times. I mean, I was like... When was this again?
I'm sorry.
This was...
So before...
The first thing I got asked to do
was come read like five categories
and then the names who were being nominated.
In LA?
In LA.
So they flew you out there?
Well, I was doing a show in LA,
so I was there,
and they were like,
can you just stay the 22nd or 23rd?
Where did they film that?
At the Grammy Museum. Okay. Just curious if they're like, can you just stay the 22nd or 23rd? Where did they film that? At the Grammy museum.
Okay.
Just curious if they're doing like a live, a live thing with.
No, no, there's no audience.
Okay.
So this was just, some people did it.
You could do it by, I mean, some people did zoom or something, but I went there.
Did you do it all in one take?
I stopped.
I think you do two takes or we did two takes just through all of it.
And then they, the second take, they would stop me and be like,
I would say some stuff wrong.
Because some of those, I watched it.
Some of those, they would come up, and I'd be like, oh, man.
Because one of the categories was like best classical composer production,
and it's all these foreign words.
And I'm like, oh, man, here we go.
But you nailed it, man.
But they did not give me i think they knew and they gave me some everything was like tom
smith yeah yeah i mean he was like basically very no you had some hard words yeah and there's like
there's no way he didn't practice that for days there's no way no i don't get those names till
then i don't name that on one look.
I get, they hand them.
When I open it is when I see the name.
Really?
You don't have time to practice? Then you've been sandbagging on here then.
Huh?
You don't have time to practice?
They don't give you time to practice?
They send me the categories I'm doing.
Yeah, yeah.
But they don't send me, I only see, I open it like the way you, oh, the people on the
stage open it.
Wow.
And you go, it's that envelope, and I open it,
and then that's when I see the names.
But I didn't read any of their names.
I just read the thing that they do.
Yeah, but still, that's a part of it.
Do we have it?
Like a savant.
Yeah.
Oh, I'd like to see it, actually, if that's possible.
Where you were on here.
I think I'm towards the end.
There's no way you can play this.
You're around the 30-minute mark.
Oh, yeah, for copyright stuff.
I can't imagine. Yeah. You think 30 minute mark. Oh yeah, for copyright stuff. I can't imagine.
You think, right?
Well, I mean, sometimes you can talk
and you do like this.
Try to distract them.
I'm talking about something else.
So who was it
that notoriously just met
John Travolta, butchered someone's
name.
Remember that one? You didn't pull one of those, did you? No, no. You got through it pretty good. I did not havechered someone's name. The L is a Zeme. Remember that one?
You didn't pull one of those, did you? No, no.
You got through it pretty good.
I did not have to say anybody's name.
I would be nervous if I had to say someone's name.
I think that's a different one.
And I would be like, I would want to be, if I had to say someone's name, I would want, I don't know.
Like, you'd want to go see, but you don't see any of this stuff.
You don't need time to practice that.
Just make that person upset.
Well,
the hard part for them is the,
the stuff they thought I would mess up.
I didn't.
And then like,
I like,
it was like,
I said,
instead of recording,
I said,
recording.
And they were like,
they're like,
what'd you say?
And I was like,
yeah,
y'all thought I was going to mess up on the other stuff.
I go, I concentrate on the other stuff.
It's the word.
I go, best recording album or something.
I don't even remember what it was.
See, look at some of these nominations.
Best historical album.
Etching the Voice.
You look good, man.
Look at that.
Oh, man.
I styled it up.
Etching the Voice, Emil Berliner.
See, no way. And the voice, Emil Berliner. See?
No way.
And the first commercial gramophone disc.
You nailed gramophone.
Well, I slowed down.
I was at a full stop at a four-way stop, and I let every other car go.
And I go, no, y'all go.
Everybody get out of the way.
And then I go, gramophone.
You had to read all of that?
Excavated.
I mean, I was like, there was a pause.
I mean, you just got to realize, on here, if I speed up at all, we're in trouble.
That last one.
Les Miserables.
I think I said that.
You did, yeah.
I go, Les Miserables.
And they go, no, it's just Miserabob. Miserabob. I thought it was Les M Yeah I go Les Miserable And they go No it's just Miserabob
Or Miser
Miserabob
I thought it was Les Miserab
Les Miserab
That's what it is
It's Les Miserab
That was the only thing
I questioned
Whether you got it right or not
Well that was the one
That I think they probably said
That's good enough
Burt
I would say
Les Miserable
But I was saying like
Baccarat
No
And that guy
Burt Barak.
I go, Burt.
I go, Burt B.
Congratulations.
You and Stevie Sates.
Skater.
He got some stuff.
Webber's Cinderella.
I wish I got Webber's wrong.
That would have been great.
Andrew Lalloy.
Best musical theater album.
Can you see what the other things were?
Yeah, best compilation.
Best compilation was a tough word.
Oh, my goodness.
Schmigadoon.
Schmigadoon, but they told me that.
They said schmigadoon.
Sometimes it's that weird of a word.
Now, if I just saw that word, the lady said it's schmigadoon.
Okay.
But this one was Dear Evan, like Cruella,
the United States versus Billie Holiday.
I just talk really slow.
Because it is.
It's very embarrassing.
Look, it's very fun, funny on here.
Sure.
But you're looking at like, these are real people.
You know, I consider all of us, and even you listeners,
none of us are real people.
We can all just make fun of each other.
But you're like, I'm in the real world now.
Yeah.
Plus, you know, we're always having to combat,
getting made fun of with our southern accent. You're like, no, in the real world now. Yeah, plus, you know, we're always having to combat getting made fun of with our southern accent.
You're like, no, I want to prove to you. My daughter made fun of me last night for the football field.
Because I said field.
She goes, it's not field.
It's filled.
And like she kept saying, I go, field?
Filled?
Filled?
Filled?
Yeah.
I had some lady, I was doing Zanies this weekend, and I do a bit where I talk about,
remember that diet candy in the 90s called AIDS?
It was a square piece of chocolate.
And they called it AIDS?
Swear to God, look it up.
Yeah.
He knows every candy.
So the joke was, you know, they were doing well.
This is why Corona changed their name.
Yeah.
Because the beer company pressured them.
They're like, hey, we saw what happened to the AIDS candy.
Yeah. So we're trying to learn our lesson here. But I was asking the audience, because the beer company put pressure on them. They're like, hey, we saw what happened to the AIDS candy because of AIDS.
So we're trying to learn our lesson here.
But I was asking the audience, do you remember this diet candy?
And this lady goes, I knew it was called AIDS.
I said, it's AIDS.
So the joke went away because of the way she was pronouncing it.
AIDS.
And they spelled it with a Y.
AIDS.
I was like, I don't remember the spelling, but now she's right.
It was A-Y-D-S.
Reducing, yeah, diet candy.
I'd love to make fun of her, but there's a great shot I would set it like that, too.
I'd be like, she's right, John.
I'd be in the audience.
I'd go, Mr. Reap, she's correct, A-Aids.
It's two syllables.
It's four letters, A-Aids. A-Aids. Go back to the Grammy correct. Ay-yids. It's two syllables. It's four letters. Ay-yids.
Ay-yids.
Go back to the Grammy thing.
I want to see.
There was one I thought.
I did say recording was.
I said recording.
Recording, yes. And that was the other one.
But that was the.
It says Grammy.
Or what is that thing?
What was that?
Oh.
I lost it.
Don't worry about it.
I don't care.
There was an episode of.
That was the highlight of my life.
Don't worry about it I don't care
There was an episode of
Highlight of my life
There was an episode of
Friends where
Joey
Who's
You know he's a
Actor on Days of Our Lives
And they go to the
Soap Opera Awards
And he loses
His category
But then he has to present
And he's just
Furious
Because he's so mad about it
And I was just thinking about
You
If you didn't, I mean,
you weren't even expecting to get nominated for album of the year, but.
Go to the next with the thing. No.
Is it the recording package?
Yeah, yeah, this is it. So I said best recording package.
For recording package, the nominees are American Jackpot, American Girl.
Yeah. You don't have to play this whole thing because Carnage
but so then
I didn't have to read
the names
right
so they just
I just read the top thing
right right
just mute it
or you can't even
show it
can you
I don't know
sometimes if you just
minimize it
and you move it around
I think it's all about
like the time
but Serpentine Prison
I did all right
Zeta
and Zeta
but they
but I said best uh
recording package and then they and i got through all the names good and i was like huh and they go
i think did you say recording and i go maybe i go and that's when i told him i go guys i'm going
to mess up the words y'all don't expect me to mess up right so just wrap your head around that
yeah some of these words you're not going to, you're going to think.
Yeah.
Maybe you're going to second guess yourself with the pronunciation.
Maybe I'm right.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes if you look up a word that says, there's different pronunciations of the word.
Yeah.
You say record and best record recording.
Recording.
How else would you say it?
I would say recording.
Recording.
Or field.
Aids.
Aids.
Congrats, dude.
Seriously.
That is amazing.
When do you find out?
That night of the Grammys.
January 31st.
January 31st.
So we've got to go to the Grammys.
What will you be doing?
You're going?
You'll be there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got to go.
Yeah, that's right.
I bought two tickets.
I thought, well, I'm a nominee.
Might as well scalp some tickets. You know? See what happens. Yeah, that's right. I bought two tickets. I thought, well, I'm a nominee. Might as well scalp some tickets.
See what happens.
See how it plays out.
That was a dumb question.
Are you going to try and do a show while you're out there?
Or are you just going to go out there for a couple days?
That's such a comic thing.
I'll probably go do a spot later.
Pop in the store?
Try to pop up?
I'll pop in the store.
You do always.
I'm overbooked, man.
Sorry.
If you win, I feel like I always
did have a fantasy
of winning
and then going
to do a spot
oh see
like that did always
I always thought about
like you know
when you think about
like you ever won an award
you're like
then go be like
go do a spot
right after
wearing the makeup
and the tuxedo
yeah with the tone
yeah
I'd have to see
I think you go to like
after parties
and all that stuff
I mean I'll be gonna watch the sunrise at liza's yeah what did she say he's like you're
gonna bring me down i just watched the sunrise at liza's manelli no no yeah i mean you would i think
you're out you know i think i'll be out as long as you want to go out it'll be cool to i think
the night probably just like goes very fast.
I mean,
I think you're there and it's going to be so incredible being the first time
I've never been to something like this.
Yeah.
And then,
uh,
this was a lot.
Are they doing it at the,
where,
where will the actual ceremony be?
Staple center.
Okay.
And then,
uh,
so they,
yeah,
so they,
I'll,
I think you just,
but I bet the night goes quick.
Like you're just like going to different parties or whatever. I mean, there's a whole thing. Cause I was like, how do you get invited? You know, like, so they, I think you just, but I bet the night goes quick. Like you're just like going to different parties or whatever.
I mean, there's a whole thing.
Cause I was like, how do you get invited?
You know, like, how do you, do you have to like call them?
Like, can I go to this?
But it's your publicist like does all that stuff.
I didn't know that.
I was like, I thought, you know, it was like certain people.
I mean, I don't think everybody gets invited everywhere.
I think he was like, if you win, I think you can go anywhere.
And then otherwise your publicist like has to get you in all the parties.
And it says, what about this?
Can he come?
Or blah, blah, blah.
Is it an award they actually do during the actual TV broadcast?
I don't know.
I hope so.
I think they used to.
I remember.
I don't know.
I feel like this is the first time.
You look at all those comedy albums.
Those are straight stand-up specials.
That's a pretty interesting group.
That's all.
Usually it's, I feel like we used to have spoken word.
We used to get mixed in with,
we'd be up against Michelle Obama reading a book or something.
And you're like, well, what are we going to win?
We're not going to win that.
And so this is the first.
Am I crazy?
Yeah, it's like spoken word.
Yeah. Look at the last couple years comedy i feel like the last few years we were always
mixed in with spoken word i i believe we are in a boom in stand-up comedy yeah and i i absolutely
do more people are aware of stand-up than they ever have been with tiktok is a ton of people
doing jokes.
Your jokes, my jokes,
all of our jokes.
Like, Vecchione has that one joke.
I mean, it's all over.
So, like, all these people,
stand-up is being watched and consumed so much.
And with Netflix,
it's never been more popular
than it is right now.
Yeah, and the audiences
are getting more, like,
sophisticated and aware
of techniques,
of jokes and everything else.
So you can't even...
I don't think we've ever had a light on us
and I think we have a light on stand-up now.
And so people, you know,
because it's like music,
everybody's always found.
But now like, you know,
I think open mics sometimes have more crowds
than they used to
and people want to see people moving up and stuff.
So it's, yeah,
it's interesting.
Well, maybe it's
his own category,
spoken word.
There is a spoken word category.
I mean, can you not see
the nominations?
Yeah, they're all comics though.
Who won last year?
Is it just those four
were nominated?
In 2019.
You go back to 2014,
like Weird Al had a,
you know, his music album
was nominated.
Yeah, maybe.
All right, so maybe it is.
Maybe I'm completely wrong.
But to your point, there has been something where comics are thrown in against...
With spoken word.
Is it the specials?
No, the Emmys?
I don't know.
Well, wasn't there, like, was it the Academy Awards?
I forgot what it was.
But like that...
Movies we've even...
Yeah, like that.
So if you're up against that, that's not...
Like, that stuff's completely not fair either.
Like, Fallon's...
Even though I love Fallon. Oh, right right you got fallon and tenacious d you're like well those are musical things right right
okay yeah that's you know it's like so all those that you're with right now that category is all
straight stand-up no music just straight i mean that's what like so people ask me they tell me
about bow not bows and nominated i think I read the nomination that he was in.
But Bo Burnham's special.
But it's a little bit of like, I mean, you know, his special is like him doing, I mean, it's unreal.
Bo Burnham's one of the most talented people I've ever met in my life.
I think he'll be one of the more talented people that I've ever met.
I mean, there's just no one like him.
He's great.
I've seen him since he was, I mean, he did New Faces when I did, or no, he went to Montreal
when I did New Faces.
Oh, really?
And he was 16.
God.
And I remember everybody just, it was 2008, and everybody was just going crazy about this
kid, and he just blew up on YouTube.
But I mean, that dude is on another planet with how just original and stuff he is.
But it's like he sings songs, so it's like there's a, you know, it's like a tricky kind of.
It's different.
It's different.
Yeah.
So it's nice to see just straight stand-up comedy
having sort of its own category for once.
Yeah.
Yeah, we were always lumped in.
I thought we had something with spoken word.
But, you know, but it's cool.
There was some award, and I forgot what it was,
where there were
movies that weren't comedies
that were winning
Best Comedy Picture
for a minute.
I forgot what that was.
The Golden Globe
does comedies and musicals
in one category
and so sometimes
La La Land or something
will be beaten out.
I remember The Martian
qualified as a comedy in the Golden Globes.
That's not a comedy.
It was kind of funny.
It's got funny parts, but I wouldn't say it.
No.
It's a great movie, but yeah, it's not a comedy.
Yeah.
Unbelievable movie.
Congrats.
Thank you.
It's a good Thanksgiving.
Can I vote?
Is there a voting app we can do?
I'm going to try to.
If everybody put in promo code Nate, go to Grammy.com, promo code Nate, and vote, and we'll get it all voted up.
Let's read a couple of these ads, and then we'll do some of these podcasts.
All right.
Let's read some of these comments.
We haven't even got into this.
And this has been, you know.
Oh, that's the dude from the World Series that caught the ball, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's the Cubs. the World Series and caught the ball, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Pulled it out prematurely.
Cubs?
As I told everybody,
y'all,
I think it's everybody's,
it'll be in everybody's best bets
that I don't win this Grammy
because I'm going to
show it to everybody.
I already,
I'll put it here.
You should.
Yeah.
I won't even be on camera.
I'll just have the Grammy on.
With the mic pointed.
With the mic pointed at it.
What does it look like?
I talk often.
What does a Grammy look like?
Is it a globe?
It's a little, it's a gramophone, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'm trying to think of how you could just, like,
put your face on there somewhere.
Like, you just have a cutout of your face and stick it inside the thing.
Oh, yeah.
Or if you just make it to where it'll play one of your bits
when you hit the button.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
This is what, like, you your bits when you hit the button. Well, yeah. Yeah. Buy you one.
This is what, like...
When you go on stage, just put that on the stool and hit play and walk off.
It's like you're getting one of those bass fish that sings.
Take me to the river.
You can buy a legit one.
Not a real one, but you can buy a replica.
Tons of replicas of those things.
Probably on Broadway if we walk down and get one.
Right outside.
All right, the 2010s episode comments.
Matthew Deans.
Demes.
Dean Deans.
Demas?
Demas.
Completely agree with Nate about Bartman.
Steve Bartman was
the guy in my opinion he was just a
fan trying to catch a foul ball as
were about six other people like
everyone has tried to do since childhood
been a Cubbies fan my whole life and what happened
to him is unforgivable he has taken
the ultimate high road
never did interviews never tried to monetize
he just wants to be left alone
Moises Alou made the whole situation
worse by acting like a baby everyone forgets Alex Gonzalez making an error on the next play
an easy double play that gets them out of that inning but just know it wasn't all Cubs fans just
a very loud minority cue up the great good work with Aaron and Bernans man I felt bad for that
dude he got tons of death threats oh yeah I yeah. I was living in Chicago during that time.
That was when we talked about it.
It makes me furious.
Yeah.
Samuel and Adamick.
Adamick.
This is a fan base that hadn't even been to a World Series in a lifetime,
finally getting close,
and when they're counting the outs on one hand,
this guy and others around him,
it wasn't just him,
does the singular thing you cannot do in this situation.
Millions of sports' longest-suff suffering fans have their souls crushed yet again and i'd say at least justified
him being more than mad not just fine throwing things at him and sending him death threats or
making it impossible for him to live in the community by any means i mean well you can be
upset but i'm complaining about those things that you said that that's the problem they did all of
those other things.
But anyone with any sense can forgive the fans for exhibiting quite a bit of vitriol.
Vitriol?
Vitriol.
Yeah.
Almost sounds positive.
It sounds like a medicine.
A Cialis brand.
If you're like, oh, there's a lot of vitriol.
It goes, showing a lot of vitriol out here.
You're like, oh, that's a pretty good parade, huh?
You go, no, no. You walk out just beating people to bats. You're like, I don't know a lot of vitriol. It goes, showing a lot of vitriol out here. You're like, oh, that's a pretty good parade, huh? He goes, no, no.
You walk out just beating people to bats.
He's like, I don't know what vitriol means, I guess.
He said, ask your doctor about vitriol.
Of course, the series was blown because of a litany of mistakes on the Cubs part,
so it wasn't all him, but the idea that he's just innocent is also not true.
He is just innocent.
And, I mean, Moises Alou, I'll be honest with you,
that picture looks like he
does have a... But that's even, I think,
after it bounced. I almost
want to say that's after it bounced. Yeah, you may be right about that.
We'll find some more. I don't think he had that good
a shot. Well, he's looking at the
ball. He's not looking down to see if there's a
player there with his glove in front of him. He's not reaching over.
No, he's just like, the ball's going to hit me
or I can catch it. Yeah. I think the ball was was farther in and then he can do it but i mean like
this guy says like look i understand being upset about it hey cubs have a problem with they won
100 years ago and they act like they're supposed to win every year you're you're not you you're
not that you might be that now you're working towards that but quit acting like you're you're not you you're not that you might be that now you're working towards that
but quit acting like you're the yankees and you are like disappointed you know you're like we're
owed this you're not you're you haven't been good for a hundred years and you act like y'all every
year you're like well the chicago and i don't want to get into all fans chicago bears has that
yeah uh they're fans they think they're the Cowboys.
Like, you won in 85.
Right.
And that's like, you haven't won.
They've got good sports history, just not sports courage.
The Bulls are garbage, except for the Jordan.
So you get lucky.
The Blackhawks are the only one that's like, they deserve it.
Like, they are in, I believe, this is me going off the top of my head,
but I believe they're in the Stanley League believe they're in the running every year.
They've won a lot.
Yeah.
But these other ones, like you're like the Cubs, you're like,
who do you think you are?
Like what are you talking about?
You're like, we've been suffering for 100 years.
You go, what are you?
100 years.
There's no more suffering.
You don't get to go.
You get to suffer if you're on like a 40-year stretch,
and you have someone that remembers both.
Oh, right, right.
There's eight people.
You're just not good.
Yeah, there's eight people that were alive
that even could be like I was around for both of those.
Maybe.
I don't know how many people.
They would have been a baby.
I got a White Sox fan said,
don't blame us for those Cubs fans.
I don't blame the White Sox fans at all.
Who were they playing in that game right there?
The Marlins, who went on to win the World Series.
I look at a problem with the Marlins.
When the Marlins were crying about
Derek Jeter trading all those people in Miami.
I remember Dan
Levitar was on there crying. You're like,
y'all won your first year
in the MLB.
The Heat win. The Dolphins
haven't won, but you want to go once.
You want to go like, chill out, dude.
They've won, I think, two.
They've been around for maybe 20 years.
He's bawling.
My team, we've been struggling so long.
Now there's a new thing with these.
That's why these people,
they feel like they're owed all this stuff.
I can speak for this as a Vandy fan.
We don't get anything. We're luckily getting college baseball now. You don't feel like you're owed all this stuff. And I can speak for this as a Vandy fan. We don't get anything.
We're luckily getting college baseball now.
But you don't feel like you're owed anything.
But I'm not going to act like if we lose,
like you don't understand how long we've been suffering.
Like people talk about suffering.
They've been suffering for 20 years.
You're like, well, give me a break.
That's a blink in the eye.
Be a Vandy fan.
Wake up.
I don't even, that's not even, I wouldn't even wake up for that.
I mean, that's like, that's just us winning an SEC game where it takes us 20 years.
You just stretch it out.
You're like, oh, yeah, just woke up, feel great.
I say that to him.
We were suffering in the 70s, buddy.
Was Vandy the only team in the SEC that didn't make a bowl game this year?
I saw that.
Yeah.
And we're the reason all the other teams did make a bowl game.
But we're all right.
Look, Vandy's been – no one cares about – I know there's a lot of people listening.
I actually am excited about Vandy football.
I think they – I like Clark Lee, the coach.
I think we actually scored some points throughout the year that looked good.
We had a couple games that were close.
No one's expecting anything out of us this year.
The people that are expecting something, Vandy fans,
some of them need to come back to the realization,
we are not what we think we are.
I don't know what you think we are.
Franklin came in.
We thought we were, like, great.
But they're redoing the stadium, the renovations.
That's the stuff that we needed to happen.
And then we can go.
But let's build up to that with football.
Baseball, we're obviously good.
Basketball, basketball's close.
It needs to get – I want basketball to keep getting better.
And it should be.
And it is.
It is.
But I think basketball should be in the top five, three to five in the SEC every year.
But for football, it's like let's relax.
Like you've got to believe in this dude and let's see what he can do.
I mean, I'm not saying he gets to go be a coach for however long he wants to be a coach for.
But let him build these new things, build this city.
And, like, I'm actually kind of excited about the Vandy football.
So how do they do this year?
I've been paying attention.
Vandy this year.
2-10.
But last year we were 0-10.
So it's an improvement.
Were we 2-10 or 2-9?
2-10 this year.
12 games.
This is a brand-new coach?
Last couple years?
First year.
This is first year. First year. Yeah. Well, yeah, you've brand new coach? Last couple years? First year. This is first year.
First year.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, yeah, you got to give him a couple years.
You got to give him a couple years.
Vandy has a hard time with that.
I mean, that was like the thing with, you know,
people didn't like James Franklin when he first came.
And then when he left, and you're like, well, we got to hire, like, you know,
Mason didn't work out.
But when Mason was hired, he was like one of the top dudes.
You know, stuff doesn't work out.
It doesn't work out anywhere.
Everybody leaves and gets fired everywhere. so it's just a tough i think people
are getting coaches getting fired too quick oh yeah i mean i remember like it used to be like
these guys would hang around five ten years with mediocre losing records before they would bounce
and they would always be like well you gotta give them a couple years to get the system worked out
and the players they wanted to get in there.
Nowadays, it's like a season or two and they're gone.
Right.
There's too much money.
And the money is pure insanity.
And they're just paying these dudes.
You shouldn't be allowed to leave.
They should have to sign a contract and be like, you've got to be here.
I like the buyout thing for the coaches, but then the coaches like lincoln riley just left like you know it's like you can't leave dude you can't like uh it's insane
like you guys are just doing whatever you want to go do i mean are you gotta let the players do that
if you're gonna do that do that but then you're losing any home team why would i even you're
never gonna be you know uh like rooting for you like, that guy's been here for a vain –
we used to have guys you're like –
you felt like they were there for eight years.
And nowadays it's like, you look at like Duke basketball.
You don't know these guys.
No.
They've been there.
College basketball, it's going to change, right?
Because these kids are going straight to the pros.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So you're going to root for them. It's Vandy going straight to the pros. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's Vandy because we stay the same.
And then the smaller schools like that, well, we don't spit them out after one year.
We had Darius Garland.
He played four games and got hurt.
He said 26 points the other day against the Cavs.
You're one of the few people anywhere, Vandy fans, who actually saw him play for Vandy.
Took my daughter.
Saw him in LSU.
We lost.
Bensimon's at 30 points.
All right.
The reselling teacher.
I mean, Nate was talking about books and said, and by the way, I don't know if any of this is true or not.
I thought that pretty much sums up this entire podcast.
That's what this podcast is about.
What happened?
What was that?
I don't even know.
He was on a rant about books
And movies
And then in the middle of it
He's like I don't know
This is true
Yeah
Right
That's just your opinion
That's what
This is not an informational podcast
This is an opinion
This is just you
No we are listed as educational
Educational
Yeah
Oh you're saying
Like under the
Yeah
On Spotify
That's how we're categorized
Comedy too right
Yeah comedy
But educational.
We've had people write papers on this.
I've got to do that for my podcast.
I've got to get it on the educational part.
Yeah, you sneak in the back door, you know?
I was thankful we were ranked.
Have you heard of the World Podcasting Federation?
No.
We were just, as some, they ranked stuff, and we were,
their algorithms, we were just ranked number two.
Wow.
According to the World Podcasting Federation.
Country-ish with John Reap and Hefron and Reap.
That is a URL that I bought and ranked myself.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Me and John came up with that idea.
There's no rules on the internet.
You can do what you want.
So we just made up our own.
So now when you look it up, it looks like I guess they're doing pretty good.
And then, of course, he's third.
We can put you guys up there, any spot you
want. Well, four and under.
Heffern's got to stay
up there because it was our idea.
So you guys will be, this will be four
tomorrow. Yeah, thank you.
Thank you. We'd appreciate that.
I love that. World Podcasting
Federation. Ranking the best
podcasts of all time from around the world,. World Podcasting Federation. Ranking the best podcasts of all time from around the world.
The World Podcasting Federation is made up by a consortium of podcasts and media specialists from around the world
and is committed to ranking the best podcasts available on the internet.
Rankings are based on many important statistical algorithms and calculations that are too complicated to explain here.
That's such a good way to...
It's just, well, what are they?
It's just a lot.
Yeah, you won't get it.
It's too much.
Just trust me.
We don't even understand.
We don't even understand.
How many do you have?
How many numbers does it go?
What's the...
Oh, I think it just goes to...
So I actually, I put the Nate Land podcast on here.
Oh, the hacker, hacker.
Yeah.
You hacked in there? No, I just edited it on our end there. Oh, the hacker, hacker. You hacked in there?
No, I just edited it on our end there.
It just went in there.
How do you even do that?
Dude, when he was sitting here doing it, I'm like, how do you do that?
How do you know how to do that?
This guy's good.
Yeah.
We almost gave the computer back to Brian.
Oh, really?
Because when Jay Cutler was here, he was.
Oh, yeah.
What was the problem? He doesn't look stuff up. What happened was I couldn't read Jay Cutler was here, he was – Oh, yeah. What was the problem?
He doesn't look stuff up.
What happened was I couldn't read Jay Cutler's mind,
and that really got in the way of Googling stuff.
You know, start trashing Jay Cutler.
At one point, he just reached over and grabbed the computer.
He was like, I'll do it.
Oh, yeah.
He was a great guy.
That's a quarterback for you.
Just give me the ball.
ACC Bigs.
I agree with Nate's point on them not advertising or distributing movies well.
But I chuckled at the no one watches the Oscars.
Everybody watches the Masters.
The 2021 Masters was up in the ratings with 9.45 million viewers on average.
The 2021 Oscars was drastically down with 10.4 million viewers on average.
So they were still better than the Masters.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's like you feel that.
That's like, sometimes you just go off, and I always think about it.
You go off what you feel like people are talking about, that you're in your world.
So you're not like the comedy world, but I'm in Nashville.
You're like, all right.
And maybe it's going to change.
But that's what I always kind of go off where you're like, well, but it could be I have a lot of people that are golfers.
And they watch the Masters and all that kind of stuff.
And then the Oscars is like, I'm not going to have that many.
You know, just like because I'm back home.
You didn't watch the Oscars.
That's not your bubble.
That's not the people that are around you watching it.
Yeah.
But everybody watch the Grammys.
Nick, Grammys is one of the best
watch shows in the history of Earth.
Yeah, this is going to be the best ever.
I'm going to start a website.
You need to start one of these.
World Grammy.
Yeah.
Best Grammy nominees of all time.
You're number one.
Number one.
Biggest snubs of Grammys.
And I go, number one,
neighbor gets it.
It's embarrassing.
Nick Braunwell.
Nick Braun Brown.
Brownell?
Brownell.
Brunell?
Brunell.
I've never wanted to pat someone on the back as much as I did for Aaron
when Graham called that decade the aughts.
What would you call the 2000-2009s?
Did you call them the aughts?
That's a good question.
I just go 01, 02. Oh, you mean like
the whole thing? The whole decade.
You know what I do is I go 2000s.
Without even thinking, I just
go 2000s. That's what everybody does. But I've heard
people say aughts. Yeah, they're usually younger.
I kind of like it.
I kind of like aughts. You hear it right when they take something from your
wallet. Like, you ought not do that.
You ought not do that.
You should not do it. You go not do... They should not do it.
You go out to the pitch,
and then you...
Head out to the pitch,
and go to the odds.
You go,
I built this pitch
during the odds.
And everybody's like,
well, I don't even know
what you're talking about, man.
It took you 10 years?
Yeah.
No one has ever
nodded their head
in such vindicated satisfaction
as Aaron at that moment.
Let it be known
that Nate Land
will for now on,
refer to 2000 and 2009 as the aughts.
Yeah.
Y'all can call it the aughts.
You don't like it.
You don't like the aughts.
You know what we should do?
We should do a poll.
Yeah.
No one wants to do that.
It is fun that just a listener just makes a decree like that.
Like, let it be known.
All right, we'll take your word for it, Nick.
Well, we will do a poll about this.
No one likes our polls. No. What do you mean? I do a poll about this. No one likes our polls.
What do you mean?
I did a poll.
If he doesn't like something.
If I don't like it, then I'll...
It doesn't matter.
We did a poll.
Didn't get the results we wanted.
Nate goes, let's let everybody think about it for a week.
Then we'll do the poll again.
Not a week.
An undetermined amount of time until he convinced everyone.
You got to let me convince. I don't remember what it was. I want to know if it was Let's Go Folks. Let's Go Folks. It convinced everyone. Yeah. What was it? You've got to let me convince.
I don't remember what it was.
I want to know.
It was Let's Go Folks?
Let's Go Folks.
It's their main thing.
It was this.
Let's Go Folks and Hello Folks.
So we say Hello Folks to stop.
Yeah, Hello Folks.
To start the podcast.
And then we start saying, we make fun of people that say Let's Go.
Because Let's Go is getting, people use it everywhere.
So we now say Let's Go Folks.
But because of this, it's come this, it's an awesome thing.
So when I go on stage, would they yell hello, folks, to you?
Yeah.
So they yell hello, folks, when he goes out, and they yell let's go, folks.
Because they know you don't like it.
Because, yeah.
And so it's like a very, yeah, it's a fun inside thing.
So let's go is getting old.
I mean, it's, you know, let's go.
Like in a game or something.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Well, now they use it everywhere.
They use it everywhere.
There's this one redneck Panther fan.
Well, there's many of them.
But this one guy put a video of him doing this theme song.
At the end of it goes, let's go, let's go.
So now we say sometimes, let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go is let's go.
Let's go.
I think I like that better. Yeah. Because it just sounds different. Yeahko. Lesko. Lesko is Lesko. Lesko. I think I like that better.
Yeah.
Because it just sounds different.
Yeah, Lesko.
Speaking of rednecks at Panthers games.
Yeah, do you see the dude that got kicked out for dancing in the end zone with the mascot?
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw that.
You mean this guy?
That was in 1995, 96.
Wait, this just came out?
That's me.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's me.
The first year the Panthers played in the nfl i'm doing the moonwalk
on grass it's not easy michael jackson crotch grabs i'm singing what i like about you and i
used to break dance so i thought i'd do the worm and i'm doing the worm and then the refs come out
behind me i didn't see them and it's a full-on wedgie. And then this other guy comes over to defend me.
That's Dale Earnhardt.
And then you've got this dude who was with the Sir Purr mascot.
That's our mascot, Sir Purr, to defend me
because I was already dancing in the stands making people laugh.
Now, look, I was already in that side of the field.
They could have kicked me out.
They marched me 99 yards.
It's the longest walk of shame.
And these people are throwing beers at him, screaming, let him go.
I like that.
You're throwing them at you for sure, throwing at them and not you.
Oh, 100%.
You got it.
Oh, yeah.
And he never let go of my pants the whole time, 99 yards.
I put my arm around him at one point.
I felt like, well, let's just hold each other.
But, yeah, that was the first year of the NFL.
You have that belt.
That's when I wore my belt like that with your belt hung down.
The braided belt.
The braided belt.
Put it, wrap it around, stick it down.
That was so cool.
Yeah.
You're just talking to him and your pants are just all the way up.
I'm trying to reason with the guys.
Like, dude, I was invited out here by the mascot.
You didn't see the – and they weren't hearing it.
And they're like, we've got to kick you out.
It's an NFL rule.
And he was kind of mean.
Sir Purr invited me out there.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was going to ask how you got on the field.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was already having a good time.
And we learned together in that moment that Sir Purr does not have the authority
to invite people onto the field.
He didn't know it either.
It was the first year with the NFL.
And we learned a lot that year.
Well, you're playing on a college field right there, right?
Yeah, it's Clemson.
So everyone still has a college mentality.
He's like, yeah, come on down here.
Yeah, exactly.
And a player was hurt, so they were working on this player for like 10 minutes.
Yeah.
And they're just playing music.
Is this during an injury time now?
Yeah, screw that guy.
I'm having a good time.
That guy's paralyzed.
They take him off the field.
Yeah, he didn't make it.
Look at you.
Did they ever get it, or they just got you out?
They just kicked me out.
Yeah.
And then they sit out there, and they ask you all kinds of questions.
And they got my ID.
Well, it's like a week later,
I got all this free crap in the mail from the Panthers.
Oh, that's awesome.
Like they realized they screwed up.
And so it wasn't my fault technically.
And so I got like a sipper bottle, a key chain, coffee mug.
I mean, that's like they just grab stuff around the office.
Yeah, they hear a senator.
They go, who's got stuff?
They don't want to get sued.
They go, God, I don't know.
I think they thought I was going to sue them or something.
Yeah.
I found out later that the guy in the mascot, his name is Tommy Donovan.
And I used to pretend to be mad at the surfer, like, I'm going to find out who that guy is who got me kicked out.
And I reached out to him, and he does comedy now.
Oh, really?
Like, he opened for me not long ago.
Oh, wow.
In Valhalla, South Carolina.
That is awesome.
And he's actually pretty good.
He's a pretty cool guy.
Yeah.
This all worked out.
Yeah.
Did he know you?
No, I wasn't even doing stand-up at this time.
Oh, yeah.
No, I hadn't even done stand-up.
I had been talking about doing it, but at this point I hadn't.
Yeah.
I was like 23.
But why did he invite you on the field?
Well, I was already dancing in the stands.
So every time out, I'd get up and start dancing to make my friends laugh.
Yeah.
And so there's like 10 of us, and they would be like snickering or whatever.
Next time out, I'm up again.
Now it's not just my friends.
It's people around them.
So slowly, it turns into a thing.
Every time out, people start, and it grows, right?
So third quarter, my buddy Marty, he said,
you got to get on that grass hill behind the goalpost so the whole stadium can see.
I was like, you're a genius.
It was a great idea.
Because Clemson had that grass hill.
Anybody could just go sit up there.
And so I make my way over there.
And that's when this guy got hurt.
They were playing music the whole time.
And I would just do what is not on this tape is the best part.
I'm literally got like, I don't know, 50, 60,000 people listening
and I'm conducting them because I'm behind the goalpost.
I do one dance move, point like that, and they go,
and I cut them off and do the Hulk Hogan hand behind the ear to the other side.
Like it was huge.
And so the mascot who's doing his own thing is kind of like,
no one's looking at me right now.
They're looking at this kid.
And so he walked over and just said, come out here and dance with me.
He wasn't even thinking.
He just waved me out there.
Yeah.
And then my friends just threw me over the fence.
Yeah.
Get out there.
And that's when the tape kicks in.
Yeah.
After the invitation.
So people who see this, they think I was just some drunk idiot who ran out there, but I
was invited.
Yeah.
And this is on your YouTube channel?
Yeah.
John, if people want to look it up.
Who filmed this for you?
There was a freelance photographer who was standing there.
That's a great wedgie.
I give these cops credit, man.
I mean, they do it perfect.
Like the back of your heels never touch the ground.
I mean, you go like the timing.
That's the best timing. It's the best timing I've ever seen in my life. Go back to the beginning. I mean, you go, like the timing. That's the best timing.
It's the best timing I've ever seen in my life.
Go back to the beginning.
I've never seen timing like this.
Watch.
His heels don't touch the ground.
They kind of waited for it to get there.
They go, he's on his toes.
The timing is crazy.
I mean, if you told me everybody was in on it,
I would believe that.
Like, it's unbelievable.
One minute, I'm having the best time of my life.
This is the best thing I've ever done.
Next minute, bam.
I'm like, what's going on?
I was like, hey, take it easy.
Why are there three of you?
I don't understand why you guys are meeting.
Why are they yelling at me?
You have no idea.
Everything's great.
Bam!
Hit your bell.
Pause it right there.
This is, I love this dude, that third cop.
I tell people that's Dale Earnhardt.
Because he looks just like Dale Earnhardt right there.
Because I've told this, I've showed this on stage
and dissected it in front of audience before.
So I used the Dellenhart joke there.
And if you go a little bit forward and pause it again when that third guy comes in, bam.
Now this dude's got a sweet blonde mullet.
And he was actually.
He's on your side.
He's on my side.
He is with the mascot.
Yeah.
And he was trying to explain to the cops, no, no, no.
We invited him.
We told him.
And then they argued for a minute.
But yeah, that that dude he was
actually letting the cops have it like he was throwing around f-bombs and everything at these
cops and i was like whoa but here we go and then they turn it off turn it back on now i'm getting
kicked out who's filming this it's a freelance photographer who was just recording it my brother
and my friends were standing next to him when this was going on and my brother grabbed him him and said, hey, did you just record that whole thing? He's like,
yeah, I guess what do I got to do to get that? And he gave him his card, my brother's card.
And so my brother got this card unbeknownst to me, and he called the guy and paid that guy like
a hundred bucks for a copy of this. And it was like, because this was around the holidays.
This was in my stocking for Christmas.
My brother got it for me.
Oh, that's so good.
And I'm like, oh, I'm going to keep this for something.
And now it's this.
This is before stand-up.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
That's so great.
My buddy Marty is the one who convinced me to get on the grass hill.
He's the one that convinced me to do stand-up for the first time.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. After this. Yeah. Martyy coulter you might as well go and do yeah might as well
do stand that's what he said he said at least go up there and tell this story yeah and then because
i've been talking about wanting to try stand up for a while well it's good to go tell this story
which has led you into all the other stories like you know yeah we always i always tell you my your
dad fixing the pool yeah it's one
of the best stories i've ever heard in my life thank you uh yeah that we used to meet i would
listen to it we would cry you ever heard his yeah that's like that's like my free bird now yeah
in fact i just performed at zany's if i don't i've actually had people mad at me for not telling the
story yeah so now i'm almost feel like I'm obligated to do it every session.
You should.
It's,
it's,
it's,
you know,
you have,
you definitely have stories.
You can tell when you have stories that you don't want to retell.
That one,
I just,
is funny every time I hear it.
Which for me too,
is like,
if it's,
I see this happening in my head every time I start telling it and it kind of,
I get joy out of it that way because I'm remembering that dad,
that thing that happened, his face, all the crap he had on his back,
the hose.
I see it and I start giggling.
And I think that helps the story.
But it's one of them stories too, though.
If the crowd's not on board in the beginning and you're like halfway in you're like
oh i gotta fit and checks are coming out oh yeah maybe half listening or whatever and then it's
like what did i miss and now now you're doing all this stuff that they don't even know yeah
what started you know yeah so it's i gotta try and do that not during the check drop yeah yeah
well it's almost like you just do it like it's like when the checks come out
and then just you close on it i can i have yeah i would almost be like that just but i'll tell
the story and i'll get out like yeah it's almost like just a thanks for everybody coming like it's
such a good story and so we're positive do you have a thing you do for check drops or do you
have a like do you try not to get to a bit when you think that time is happening yeah i mean when yeah like so check drops i would do uh you know you have to do
that's the worst part about headlining i mean it's it's unreal dude they just it crushes you
and i would usually just try to battle through it i've been i recorded my first album yelled
out by a clown uh i had told the davy street story if anybody remembers but i had this big
long five minute story and they would uh uh and so when i told it i told them i was like
just don't drop checks during this because we're recording this album because it's like it's a long
story the beginning is not that funny but it's setting up and then it gets really funny yeah uh
and then i mean right when i so i was like what well then i was like what time are y'all dropping checks yeah and they're like uh we're probably dropping at like 35 minutes or
something so i was like all right so i'll just do it before you drop and then i mean i would start
it and they'd be like well we just dropped at 30 anyway that's good you know it's hard to time that
you know what i mean yeah it's not that hard because you want to go
just drop it
8.35
and they're like
well we just decided
to do 8.30
I mean for you
if you don't know
if you're like
trying to look at the room
yeah yeah
oh yeah that's what it was
it is hard
and so he was just
trying to like
because we were
recording that album
and then
yeah it was
it was brutal
we're posted
you had that clip posted
like
which one your pool yeah it's out there yeah yeah because we're we're posting my YouTube It was brutal. We're posted. You had that clip posted. Which one?
Your pool.
Yeah, it's out there.
Yeah, yeah, because we're posted.
Go to my YouTube.
There's tons of stuff there.
Yeah, go to his YouTube, subscribe.
All right.
Paul.
Oh, wait.
No, Tim Agee.
No, Will.
Will.
At the top.
Yeah.
Will Wilson.
Oh, boy, hang on.
Oh, okay, go ahead.
I was going to take turns with that last name.
Okay, I'll go.
Who sent root? Who sent root? That's a bubble gum, isn't it? Oh, boy, hang on. Oh, okay, go ahead. I was going to take turns with that last name. Okay, I'll go. Hoosin' Troop.
Hoosin' Troop?
That's a bubble gum, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, Hoosin' Truett.
Truett.
See, that's like two different...
Troot, fruit, troop.
Hoosin' Troot.
So that's like two different people like this guy is either
hoos and true or if he's hoos and true it he's about he might live where you live yeah yeah
you know what i mean yeah there's a lot of truants where i live yeah yeah i don't even
like all the truants yeah the truant family most of them are bullies yeah i played finnish baseball
for about 10 years ago and it is easily the most confusing sport. The best players are the fastest ones.
You hit the ball and can run as many bases as possible
before the fielder gets the ball back to the pitcher.
If you don't think you can make it to the next base, you can stay put.
Multiple people can share a base at a time waiting for the rush hit to advance.
Last but not least, if you hit the ball too far, you're out.
Whoa!
I've never heard of this in my life.
John, somebody came over when baseball was just being invented,
and they watched it, and they're like,
I'm going to take this back to my country.
And they go back, and they completely botched it.
But it's blossomed into a pretty popular sport.
Wow.
That's a little different from baseball, obviously,
but still essentially the same thing.
I would love to watch this.
Yeah, I'd love to play it.
I bet it's a fun one to play, like when you're just playing with friends.
So you can share.
How many people can be on the base?
As many as you want.
As long as they're touching it.
As long as they're touching it.
Oh, like stacked on top of each other.
But first base, you you run by where's home
home's where it should be yeah oh that's where the heart is so first yeah so first base if you
listen to this first base is just short of third base oh wow it's actually a little bit
it's a little bit left of the mound yeah so the pitcher stands that close the pitcher i think just
kind of throws it up like a soft pitch.
I mean, look where the catcher is.
Yeah.
The catcher is where the first baseman is supposed to be.
What the?
So the pitcher just lobs it up in front of the guy.
Yeah, yeah.
And he just whacks it.
Yeah, I think it would be fun to play.
Like, it's kind of crazy.
It would be fun to play with kids.
That's true.
And I get the idea.
Like, I understand this guy goes back. He's like, that game's great. I mean, you don't get to play with kids. That's true. And I get the idea. I understand this guy goes back.
He's like, that game's great.
I mean, you don't get to write stuff down.
You can't look stuff up.
By the time he goes from here to, is that Finland?
Yeah.
By the time he goes from here to Finland, it's like seven months later.
And he's like, oh, golly, I almost forgot.
I got a new game for our country.
Yeah.
And he's like, I think,
where was first base?
He goes,
it was over there.
And they go,
are you sure?
Because it doesn't seem like.
Yeah.
And he goes,
no,
no,
it's over here.
It's over there.
Don't even,
I don't want to talk about it.
First base,
done talking about first base.
First base is right in front of third base.
Let's go to second base.
Where's that?
He goes,
that one was a pretty far away.
And so,
then he points out,
like he goes,
I mean, just imagine him, like trying to remember. Yeah to remember yeah all these they're supposed to be a catcher where did that
guy go i just put him out there yeah like he's catching the ball that the guy hits so that's
amazing how deep the field goes as well yeah so like the the outfield is bigger than the rest
yeah i mean it looks like It's a big square.
It's infinite.
Yeah.
Like, it just keeps going.
But it's too far.
But that's what's funny is, like, to... Too far.
You know, like, he goes, how far back does it go?
And he just walks it.
He goes, about right here.
This feels right.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Anything longer than this, then you're just showing off.
Yeah.
Don't hit it out of the park.
I love it.
All right.
We got a Thanksgiving episode comment.
Oh, boy.
Tim Agee.
Only the Nate Land podcast would include a 30-minute discussion of the Friday the 13th films on the Thanksgiving episode.
We just went through all those.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
I'm going through right now.
Going through Olympia Has Fallen.
Olympus?
Olympus. Yes. Olympus. I typed in Olympia Has fallen. Olympus? Olympus.
Yes.
Olympus.
I typed in Olympia has fallen, and it wasn't coming up, and I was like...
Is it Olivia?
That was a guy who just spilled a beer.
Yeah.
Olympia?
What is that?
I think it's a beer.
Oh, Olympia is a beer?
This is in a city in Washington.
It's that as well.
Oh, it's not like a...
That's a much lower stakes movie than Olympus has fallen
yeah
Olympia has fallen
I thought that fell years ago
it's been
again
he goes again
yeah
my cousin used to drive to there
I think he got shot
so
yeah
Olympus has fallen
now wasn't there two of those
oh there's three
so I did London has fallen last night
and I'm gonna do the third one
Angel has fallen I'll do the third one tonight. Angel Has Fallen, I'll do the third
one tonight or tomorrow. An Angel Has
Fallen? Yeah. It's just fun. They're just
dumb and fun. Wait, that's a real one though?
The Angel Has Fallen? Yeah. I heard about that one.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm just trying to find...
Was London Has Fallen, was that about the queen?
No.
No mention of the queen, actually.
I think on the Royal Family family episode we talked about when she
dies the code word is what is it i thought it was london is falling maybe it's london bridges
bridge down or something like that yeah yeah what the the oldest person alive has died
that's what they're saying but someone can't because what just say who it is what's her name because who's the old lady that lives in that building yeah she's dead okay
what uh what's your friday 13th then i mean you're uh those oh yeah we talked about space
when he goes to space oh i actually make sense That's great. It's one of the most plausible ones.
Like, where you go, all right.
Everything that goes on too long needs to go to space.
That's how it should all end.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, metaphorically and literally.
Yeah.
Just get it out of here.
Get them out.
Get them out.
Paul Antonio, this is the Jason Movie of Podcasts.
It takes almost all two hours to get on the topic of the episode,
and viewers keep coming back to the lake knowing full well
that we're going to witness some well-understood topics
get murdered by undead ignorance.
Ignorance.
Wait.
Well, yeah.
It looks the word ignore is in that.
Yeah, ignorant.
That's a really funny comment, though.
That is a very funny comment.
Good job, Paul.
Someone gave us one star review because they said it takes us so long to get the topics,
which I love the fact that someone actually listens to this to learn information about
a particular topic.
I want to hear about Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It says you're under informational category, right?
Yeah.
Educational. Educational. That's right. There's some in there. It just takes a little bit to go to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah it says you're under informational category right yeah educational
educational
that's right
there's some in there
it just takes a little bit
to go to
yeah
yeah
stick around
yeah stick around
just hang out for a little bit
yeah
what's the rush
yeah
what's the rush
where you gotta go
yeah
is there a lot of this
yeah
oh we need to kind of
go through it
we got nowhere to go
okay
Parker Cook
your friendly
former research chef food safety specialist,
here to clarify all of you incorrect comments on butter and its safety at room temperature.
Butter is considered safe at room temperature for two main reasons.
First, the cream used in commercial butter making it pasteurized, which elements any bacteria eliminates.
You're doing that on purpose.
John, I swear I wish I was.
It's when I get a big word at the end,
and then we start that second sentence,
I'm still pasteurized is still in my head.
And then I'm like, which, I don't even think about.
And then I'm in like elements, and I'm still kind of unpasteurized. Then I'm like, any. And I'm like which I don't even think about and then I'm in like L minutes and I'm still kind of
unpasturized
then I'm like
any
and I'm like
oh
almost like I'm trying to
come out of water
and I'm looking for land
and I'm like
where is it
where is it
oh there's some
and then I just start
swimming to it
you still recording
recording
yeah
I mean you made it
through pasteurized
successfully
long sentences are hard
and then you're like
oh that was great
I made it through pasteurized.
It's easy sailing now.
Then here comes eliminates.
I know.
That's what I mean.
That's what these people didn't understand.
The Grammys, they were like, how is he messing up?
The easy ones.
Because you're celebrating the success of the hard one, and you're not thinking.
I'm not thinking.
I'm not thinking.
Any bacteria present before it's churned,
and secondly, any water in the butter that may contribute to bacterial growth
is surrounded by butterfat, which is...
That's what your name should be.
Butterfat, which is...
What's that word?
Impenetrable?
Impenetrable to bacteria.
Just like ketchup.
Butters...
I've already lost everything.
Just like ketchup, butter is recommended to be refrigerated for quality
as the butterfat will turn rancid more quickly at room temperature.
I like this topic, though.
Yeah.
I don't like going to restaurants where the butter is too cold
and you can't actually spread it.
Yeah.
So you've got to get there early and set it out so it melts a little bit.
You know what I mean?
So if I got a reservation at 9 a.m., I go, like, can I just be there at 7 and just take
the butter out of your fridge?
Just get it out.
And just put it on the table.
Just show up there two hours earlier.
I'll come back two hours later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not eating that.
Yeah.
I'm just putting the butter out.
We don't have you till 9 a.m.
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
I still want the 9 a.m.
But.
Where's your butter?
Where's your, yeah.
Can I go back to your kitchen?
Yeah, yeah.
Because I can't spread this on my toast.
It's breaking the bread apart.
It destroys your bread.
Yeah.
But my mom keeps it in the fridge.
I don't know if I've ever made a reservation at 9 a.m. before for a place.
I don't want to go anywhere 9-8. Yeah. Ever.
But there is something to
like keeping the butter out.
Do you guys,
do you put it in the fridge?
We keep ours in the fridge.
Yeah, I do too.
Yeah.
But I was,
John Heffron's lady
keeps it out.
Yeah.
And I was like,
oh, can you do that?
I guess so.
I guess so.
I wish you could.
Light leaves all its condiments
out of the fridge.
Except butter. But that ketchup, I don't put in the refrigerator. That's cool with that. Yeah. I like it better that way. that i guess so i guess i wish you could might leaves all his condiments out except butter but
i catch up i don't put in the refrigerator that's cool with that yeah i like it better that way you
don't use it you don't use ketchup you don't only time you have cold ketchup is at someone's house
that's true yeah why do we do that because that's how mom butterfat yeah the congealed bacteria
nate knight i was raised onated... Is that a real name?
Nate Knight.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good name.
It is a good name.
Nate Knight.
I was raised on a refrigerated margarine.
Does anybody say margarine?
I would walk out of your house.
I think he...
I left out any unnecessary comments
to make it shorter,
but I think he said
he couldn't afford real butter.
Oh.
And margarine...
I thought margarine was more expensive. Nogarine is the cheap alternative oh and i guess we had margarine
we just called it butter am i right in it i mean i think you're right but i think we just all call
it butter i call it butter but and we we were definitely buying margarine and so he's so
technically yeah you're right nate so it's like a nickel more yeah i don't know how much yeah
yeah how much he goes how much he's saving a year.
Was that, yeah, your family?
That would be very funny.
Your family, you're like, what the line was drawn with the butter?
You're like, if y'all want two cars in this family,
then we're going to be eating margarine.
If you're fine with one car, we can do butter.
Yeah. Do you want to go to college? Yeah. It's margarine for four years. Now's the time to say you're fine with one car, we can do butter. Yeah.
Do you want to go to college?
Yeah.
It's margarine for four years.
Now's the time to say you're seven.
Now's the time to decide, do you want to go to college or do you want butter?
Yeah, right.
For your rolls.
It's going to be cold.
It's going to be cold because we need it to last as long as we can last it.
Or we can do margarine, everybody goes to college. Yeah. Everybody decides it's gonna be cold because we need to last as long as we can last it or we can do margarine everybody goes to college yeah everybody decides as a family yeah i was raised on refrigerated
margarine but when i started living with my girlfriend i took one look at the butter being
left out in a container on the counter soft and always ready to easily spread and i thought that
makes sense never turned back highly recommend leaving butter out. Life changing. Nate Knight, hero.
Nate Knight.
I agree.
Well, I bet Nate now, dude, like if you grow up eating just the poor, that's like the stuff
that you remember by having to buy because no one had money.
You didn't have money when you grew up is the stuff that you're like, well, I'm buying
the real.
Like it was like soda.
Like you're like, well, I'm going to drink Diet Pepsi.
I want to like, I'm very drink diet pepsi i wanted like i'm very i want name brand
yeah because it was like sometimes we'd not have to uh i don't think we could always have you know
sorry diet dr thunder yeah something like that you're like no no there's a point i mean i feel
like we always had some like uh but like yeah i'm trying to think we always like that with syrup
yeah my mom always bought k-ro syrup k syrup, K-A-R-O syrup.
I guess that's fine, but I found out later that's like the cheap syrups now.
Like when I saw, you know, yeah, see that?
You guys eat that?
Oh, that's K-R-O syrup.
K-R-O syrup.
Diet Coke bottle.
Yeah.
So that's what we had on pancakes and waffles.
I thought at the time it was good.
That's right.
And people tell me that's the cheap crap.
Yeah.
So then I'm like, oh, what is this Buttersworth over here?
I'm getting that now.
So from now on,
I'm like,
to your point,
I get the good stuff.
You go,
I want the good stuff.
I'm stepping up.
I'm stepping up.
No more K-Road for me.
Yeah, that's good.
Congratulations.
Thanks, man.
Do you do Aunt Jemima now?
Sure.
Yeah, I don't think you can.
Whatever,
oh, yeah,
if it's still there.
Canceled.
Canceled.
I had nothing to do with that. That was a trick question. That was a trick. You're done. You're done, John. I put it think you can. Whatever. Oh, yeah, if it's still there. Canceled. Yeah, canceled. I had nothing to do with that.
That was a trick question.
That was a trick.
You're done.
You're done, John.
I put it on my Uncle Ben's.
Yeah.
Nate LaPierre.
With margarine.
With margarine.
Margarine sounds like you're an aunt.
Margarine's coming over.
Oh, God.
You know.
Aunt Margarine.
Aunt Margarine.
Aunt Margarine.
Aunt Margarine's coming over.
Here we go. She's always got a migraine. Aunt Margarine. Aunt Marjorie. Aunt Marjorie. Aunt Marjorie's coming over. Here we go.
She's always got a migraine.
Aunt Marjorie's got a migraine.
Aunt Marjorie.
You got to turn it.
Can y'all turn the lights off
before she walks in to make things all.
Everybody turn the lights off.
All right, we'll get them off.
Nate Lapier.
Lapier.
Jelly is made from the juice of a fruit and jam is made from the fruit itself that's the difference that's a big difference i like jelly i don't like jam what about a cranberry
sauce i don't know why is that called a sauce and not a jam or a jelly because it's a difference
it's not a sauce is it or no is it i don't really do it that much what about preserves
thank you now've got four.
We've got preserves, sauces, jams, and jellies.
See, I like just the – I like the juice.
I like, you know.
Yeah, which would be the – which one is that?
That's like the syrup.
I don't like when you go somewhere and they're like,
we make our own syrup.
And I'm like, I'd rather you not.
Yeah, I haven't had yours yet. I know what's good.
I know what I like.
I know what I like.
I don't want
to go when someone's like we do our own kind of syrup and they just think everybody's gonna like
that and you're like it's gonna be it's weird yeah i was i really i love pancakes you've ruined
them for me so can you bring both over yeah let me just uh so you know it looks like you're trying
it then there's a uh place i was at and I would ask them. They bring the ketchup.
I joke about ketchup.
But they have real fancy ketchup.
And I'll be like, do you all have Heinz back there?
And they would bring out little bottles of Heinz.
I'm like, you should be just giving this out.
Yeah, this should be the default.
Don't be.
I mean, it's like chunky.
It's like, what are you doing?
I ate at this place this weekend, and I was like, I got a Diet Coke.
And they go, we actually have it.
We have our house-made sodas.
And I was like, God, let's take a water. Yeah,'s take water yeah house-made soda yeah who's making their own soda yeah some places oh wow i just want
to go they do yeah they do their own and you're like oh no you're like i don't even want to be
here yeah like i would at least give me something i've heard of yeah i'm about to eat stuff i don't know right yeah this is our version of coleslaw yeah
i hate our version yeah our version our take i know what a club sandwich is yeah i don't know
what your version of a club sandwich is it needs to have these you get something you don't know
you're supposed to ask off you're like well i didn't expect to ask have to ask that off you
know i forget like you get uh trying to think of what something that sounds would be like
you had bananas on your pasta and you're like what dude i would have said no bananas i didn't
even know you could i that was out of my there are a million things that i have to think of to
take off of this thing so what do you you have to ask every time now yet i had it dude i stayed uh
when i was in la uh when i got grammy nominated lot of people, in case y'all weren't listening at the beginning.
That's right.
But when I was in L.A., I ordered a kid's for the hotel.
I ordered a kid's sundae.
I'm trying to be like I want the most basic.
Was Harper with you?
No, no, no.
That's for you.
I ordered a kid's sundae,
and I get them to throw a couple extra scoops on it.
Sometimes in these hotels, you end up spending like $30, and you're like, what are you doing, dude?
I'll just go buy my own.
So they bring it up, right?
Ordered a kid's sundae, no whipped cream, no cherry.
I don't like any of it.
I just like vanilla.
I'm very plain with my ice cream.
I love ice cream, but I'm pretty plain with it.
So vanilla, chocolate syrup. They they bring it up fruit under it no mention that they were even going to
do that so i'm like dude sabotage i didn't even order i didn't order adult dessert like adult
dessert you have to be like don't be fruit don't be weird about it but with the kids i thought for
sure they ain't gonna to throw fruit on it.
Because I had an adult one one day and they had fruit.
And I was like, whatever, that's just par for the course.
That's what they do with adult stuff.
That's what I call a parfait.
Parfait for the course.
Parfait for the course.
Parfait for the course.
But the kids, I was like, what are y'all doing?
This was the night before.
Because the next, I ate that and then announced those Grammy things.
That's what I did.
That was basically within eight hours of me eating that and being pretty upset.
I told them about it.
Well, it's like they tried to hide the fruit in it.
Yeah, the scoops were all under the fruit.
So I eat just ice cream, and I leave all the fruit in there to send a message.
To be like, don't be doing this, dude.
Don't be throwing fruit.
Let them know.
Don't throw fruit on a kid's Sunday.
Or say it.
By the way, in LA, it's like,
y'all live in that made up of a world
that you think we're all just eating fruit on our ice cream
everywhere we go?
No one's doing it.
They're trying to sneak passion fruit in the tea out there.
I never liked that either.
Yeah, you're like, what are you doing?
Where do you get the nerve?
I've never seen that in my life.
Where do you get the audacity?
That's what you say to them.
How do you come back here and look me in the eye and set that down and don't think I'm going to say something?
I'm a little assaulted.
Mark Kelly, ketchup has vinegar in it, so it can be left out.
But ketchup in the U.S. does have a bunch of sugar and other stuff in it, so it's more fresh if you keep it in the fridge.
In the U.K. and Australia, most people keep it out more fresh if you keep it in the fridge in the UK in Australia
most people
keep it out
interesting
have you ever had
Vegemite?
I haven't
yeah
I have
I went to Australia
yeah
so you've had
yeah I've had some
just recently
not as bad as I thought
when I hear people
say Vegemite
they go
oh it's the worst
I don't know how
they eat that
it's just a salty
nice little you know it's pretty good.
Yeah, it sounds not good.
It doesn't sound good.
Not a good name.
Vegetable, yeah, yeah.
Vegemite.
Jessica Turner, I literally love you all so much,
but I hope nobody seriously takes food safety advice from Nate.
I hope they don't either.
It's a public service announcement.
Food safety.
Guys, do not be listening.
She was losing sleep.
Finally, Trent Stewart being raised in a preacher's home.
The rapture was a hot topic.
One day when I was about 12, my mom hid behind the shower curtain
while I was searching through the house for her, calling for her
in a worried voice.
Finally, what felt like hours, she came out from behind the curtain
and she told me she was making sure my heart was right.
Now I do this to all my daughters.
Good times.
Oh, my gosh. My heart was right. Now I do this to all my daughters. Good times. Oh, my gosh.
My heart was right.
Did you ever have any rapture worries?
Like, did you grow up?
Oh, yeah.
Like, so, yeah, like, there's a big, it was a big southern thing.
Yeah, of course.
I'm sure everybody that had rapture.
But it was, yeah, like a big thing where if you just walked outside,
you're like, where is everybody?
You're like, did it happen?
Right.
Yeah. Yeah, it just happened. I didn't know't know about it yeah yeah you didn't get picked oh there's that yeah so that was that's why i understand his heart was right like if he
didn't get picked it's too late yeah yeah i don't yeah i don't know can't get a good it's just fun
to redo i think it's fun i don't think it's you can redo the rap i think it's fun yeah well maybe
it's saying like that's what it's going to be like if your heart's not right.
You're going to be alone.
You're going to be alone.
So maybe that's like, get your heart right.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little twisted.
I might try it tonight.
So, John.
Oh, yes.
We got these.
Oh, yeah.
Bait Nargetsy.
Oh, I just now noticed that, dude.
Yeah.
I didn't even notice it.
Yeah.
Does that happen a lot?
I think he just did it to be funny.
The joke is that you have dyslexia.
Yes.
Oh, that's true.
That's right.
That's a great joke.
I didn't get the joke.
That's perfect.
That's unbelievable.
I'm actually, this is, that's hilarious.
If you didn't know, if that weren't your last name, I mean, Bargatze,
could you read it and get it right?
No.
No.
That's why I don't, if someone says it wrong, I don't read it.
You just don't get mad.
Our standard is would the guy turn around if you're walking down the street.
So if you're walking down the street and you say a name, would he go,
what's that?
Or would he turn around and be like, that's all you need yeah all right it's enough you know but
you're probably john ripe like i think that's enough for you to go it would be i wouldn't turn
around though oh but i would go like someone thinks i'm i don't know this person yeah because
i got my name wrong and i don't want to talk you wouldn't oh yeah so that probably happens to you though like you probably get recognized and people you're trying to get
from point a to point b really fast and someone's like hey babe oh yeah and you know or they're
going hey hey they're not saying your name but they know that's for you you know it's for you
and you're like no no time for this guy that's not my name i call i'll let him i'll talk to him
even if you're in a hurry to get somewhere I talk to everybody
I get just
like
I mean if I was just like
running somewhere
I would tell them
like I'd be like
oh man I appreciate you
and if I had to run somewhere
but
they did
I get called Nick
Nick
so the people call me Nick
I did it recently
at a corporate gig
I did
the guy goes like
he goes Nick
that was so great
and I just go thanks man
I appreciate it
and I just let it go.
Yeah, because then it's like you're making them feel...
I don't want to make them feel bad.
What do I... You have nothing to gain
out of that. I don't care.
He called me Nate later.
So then he figured it out.
Then you're like, he doesn't
say anything. I like knowing it because it's
kind of funny for them to call me Nick and then come back
and call me Nate, and I know someone talked to them.
And they go, I met Nick back there.
And they go, it's not Nick, it's Nate.
And he's like, I called him Nick.
And he's like, maybe he didn't hear you.
I like thinking all that went on.
Go call him Nate a bunch.
He goes, we'll call Nate a bunch.
He goes, Nate, Natey.
Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate.
There's a guy at Planet Fitness I work out at who calls who called this one guy his name was brad
called him stan for a long time and i'm working on the treadmill he starts talking to me he's like
oh look there's stan over there and i'm like what are you talking about like there's stan i'm like
that's brad yeah and he freaked out he goes i've been calling him stan for like the last couple
years yeah i was like he probably did the same. He just didn't want to correct you.
Like, this encounter is not enough for me to correct you all the time.
Yeah, you're not like friends.
Yeah, right.
You just call him that.
If that happens, you got to just go, dude, I'm so sorry.
I've been calling you Stan for some reason.
Yeah, you just have to own up to it.
You just have to own up to it and be like, it's my fault.
But you don't want to make them thin to you because you're like,
I don't want them to feel bad yeah uh you know because it can
come off like where you don't care about the person there's so you don't want it to be like i
i right now yeah just moving forward that's fyi yeah no biggie no biggie john yeah it's not just
as we had as we head forward in case we ever hang out longer. Yeah. Yeah. The janitor at my high school, he's like the facilities manager.
I always knew him as Ken, Ken Bilbrey.
And I found out that like 12 years ago, the principal started calling him Ken by accident.
And it just became his name.
And now if you meet him now, he introduces himself as I'm Ken.
I'm Ken Bilbrey.
That's just what he goes by.
I mean, this is...
He changed his name.
What's his real name?
I don't think he legally changed it.
I don't know his real name.
I've known him for a while now.
He's just Ken.
Yeah.
He's just Ken now.
He might like it.
Like, you know, I could see someone being like, yeah, man, it's kind of fun.
He's a witness protection.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It must have helped him out.
You know, there's a Ken doll.
It's supposed to be good looking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds like a strong name. So y It must have helped him out. You know, there's a Ken doll. It's supposed to be good looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like a strong name.
Ken.
So y'all have Breakfast Bates.
Aaron.
This is Aaron the Gout Weber.
Weber.
This is a guy, Logan Hamsley, who's a podcast fan.
He made these by hand for us.
Wow.
So they're very cool.
That's awesome.
Very cool.
Very nice.
That's awesome.
Very nice.
And then what do we got here?
Oh, yeah.
Gifts. Yeah, they just made. love this fan art yeah how to get into
comedy a pretty good oh my gosh how good is that that's very good this is oh wow this is from
brandy coy in raleigh indiana wow how good is that yeah that's great do you go are you gonna
put that up anywhere yeah yeah i'm gonna we'll frame it and we'll put it up.
Trash can?
I might actually let my...
I'm going to see.
I might let my dad...
That's pretty cool, for real.
No, it's awesome.
Because that's your dad in the picture.
Yeah, it's because my dad in the picture.
So I might give it to my dad.
You might be a Christmas present.
We have on my podcast.
My dad's going to see this on the podcast.
We've got these two interns.
I told him not to watch it.
And we have a fake wall behind it.
It's a wall.
It's called a fan art.
I call it a fan art wall.
Oh, yeah.
Anytime people put stuff, send me stuff, I just put it up there.
Yeah, we need to do that.
We might do some of that here.
Yeah.
I need to try.
I'm loving this.
I'm loving this wall.
I'm in two of the posters that you got over here.
Yeah.
So I'm going to take one.
Oh, the comedy festival?
So my first TV credit.
So we're here with John Reap.
I mean, we're kind of blown past.
I'm assuming a lot of people know you.
He's got a podcast, Countryist with John Reap and one with John Heffron.
John Heffron.
Heffron and Reap.
Heffron and Reap.
And number one and two podcasts in the world.
Yeah.
I just saw Heffern in Detroit.
He told me that.
Yeah, yeah.
He was playing near you.
Yeah.
And then Bert was not far.
Bert was in town.
Burr was in town.
It was crazy.
I didn't see Bert.
We ate with Burr the next day.
Yeah.
But, yeah, everybody was there.
And so my first TV show that I ever got was the CMT comedy stage.
The poster's there.
We taped it at the Belcourt Theater in Nashville.
And John Reap was one of the comics on it.
And it's a very...
It was fun.
It was fun.
I remember...
So when I did it, people...
Everybody thought I just worked for CMT. I know. Yeah. I remember, so when I did it, everybody thought I just worked for CMT.
I know.
I remember you telling me this.
Yeah.
It's funny, dude.
It's very funny.
Because what you were wearing,
you didn't look like you were dressing up.
You looked like you could have been a stagehand.
There was a lot of dark on dark color.
Yeah.
What was I?
Yeah.
See, you're talking about my name.
But I think before you put
the button-up shirt on,
maybe we were hanging out.
Yeah.
And you're not like
a loud, boisterous,
over-the-top kind of person.
No, no, I said,
well, y'all knew each other.
So at this point,
I've been doing comedy,
2007,
I've been doing comedy
four years.
Right.
And so like,
and y'all all knew each other.
So I didn't know everybody.
Yeah.
And yeah,
so I just sat set the corner and i
mean i remember when i went up i think it was very funny they were like oh i thought he worked for cmt
look at you man yeah wow how old were you when you did that uh 2007 uh so i was born in 79
15 years ago so you'd have been 27? 27 I like the beard
You didn't always have the beard
So what made you
What was the choice
When did you decide to go beard
I don't know if I could have grown one back then
Oh yeah
I guess I could have a little bit
I never tried
I always liked shaving
So why do we have the tried. I just, I always liked shaving. I never minded.
So why did we have the beard now?
What made that, what was the beard?
I just grew it.
You know, it was like a kind of certain thing.
Yeah.
But then I lost weight.
Exhibit A.
So yeah.
Yeah, it was not good.
I was kind of floating around back then.
Well, I remember like, you know.
I looked like, I was always just like, you filled up, buddy.
Like, I just always looked filled up.
Like, when you're just always bloated every day yeah you
just like you gotta does ever get out of you you're not really keep it up here in the face
yeah keep it oh yeah it was all that well that's what i did i covered it up yeah yeah you just do
yeah you just do it that way so that was uh our first first time i met you back that's right
and uh greg hahn was on that episode. Greg Hahn.
That was the highest energy dude.
I haven't seen him in a minute, but he's like too much energy.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's crazy.
Yeah.
He's, I mean, very funny.
Yes.
And he did, he's like a very fun comic to watch.
Like, it's just, it's crazy.
But there's, yeah, I mean, it was a great, you know, Vic Henley, rest in peace.
Right, yep.
Greg Warren, Gary Muldeer has been around for, Mike Armstrong.
So, but that's all the comics that was on the series or whatever.
But we only did, we were on, it was me, you, and Greg, and who was the other person that
was actually on our set?
Maybe it was...
Adam May?
Maybe it was Adam May.
Oh, no, John Wesley Austin.
I remember meeting him.
That's right.
It was John Wesley Austin.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Because this was back when Bob and Tom, like a lot of comics on here were on Bob and Tom.
Mm-hmm.
Bob and Tom was huge.
Mm-hmm.
And so it was a great, like, I mean, I knew everybody because of Bob and Tom.
Because at that point, I was listening.
Bob and Tom, I was listening to right when I was about to start comedy
so I would hear all these names
and I was like I can't believe I'm getting to meet these people
and I got to do it in Nashville
I got to stay at the hotel
by Vanderbilt
the one that looks over there
at that point
even though I lived there
you were like oh I got to stay in the hotel
that's going to be crazy.
And it was like, we went to my parents, I think, went to the taping.
It was fun.
I remember my set coming off stage and Melissa Peterman was interviewing people.
She was the host.
Very funny lady.
And she does a lot, she's good at improv.
Yeah.
So she was, like, cutting it up.
But I heard, like, during my set, i heard a loud noise go off like just a big
bonk like something happened but i ignored it i was like well this is tv just keep going in case
they cut it out when i came off stage she was like got the mic in my face i'm like what was
that noise yeah so when i go back and look at this i'm like dude i'm so rattled like in the
interview after my set and she but she was just trying to like, oh, I don't know, I heard a big,
and she went with it.
I felt like, is she in on this?
Did you make this noise?
So she was so good at improv-ing,
I didn't know that she didn't have anything to do with it for a minute.
But that's what I remember from that.
She's great.
Did you drop this?
On purpose?
Did you sabotage my set?
Yeah.
That is like you get, we had at in la we had a woman that was
uh had a lot to drink and just was like just would not quit talking in the front and so loud
and uh that was like and it was just you can lose like your track because it's like she's talking
and i try to usually just talk over it.
And then usually that calms it down.
But she was just so out there that nothing mattered.
She shouldn't have been there.
But so she did it.
But you start like, it'll mess your whole joke up.
You'll be like, because you start the joke and then you can't stop hearing her.
And then you can only hold off for so long. Then you're i don't even know where i'm at yeah you know do you so i'll do a thing if i if i feel something happening and i'm like well it's not to
the point where i have to address it it's just sort of like maybe it's just bothering me and not
the whole room yes but it's enough to bother me that it ruins even my set and my and i'm like okay
once i get that light i know i'm like i'd like to get the light around 35 40 and i feel like okay i
my time is over and then i if it's still happening i go like what's going on yeah i'm like i'm going
after this table now for 10 minutes yeah because it's been bothering me but yeah i do that too i
get a light around that i would always get a light like uh 35 40 i like a light like that i do that too i get light around that i would always get light like uh 35 40 i like a
light like that i do too you do an hour you i try to do less than an hour yeah yeah less than hours
i think an hour at the most i've done longer but i don't like doing that yeah i'd rather just do
the time and leave them wanting more if you can yeah yeah that's usually uh plus i'm worried about
the staff they want to get out of there yeah yeah yeah i i an hour is great and then uh yeah i would always get a light if anybody doesn't know
they light so a lot of times they light comedians from the back of the room it can be uh sometimes
it's a bulb sometimes it's just someone flashing their cell phone yeah in the back of the room uh
there's signs some i have place will have a sign that could...
I think one place had...
Didn't one have a streetlight?
Yeah.
Oh, that's Last Laugh.
No, was it Ernie's?
No, what the heck?
Erie, Pennsylvania.
Last Laugh.
Junior's Last Laugh.
Junior's Last Laugh.
I think that's what it is.
Dude, I just had a smirk.
I just broke.
And they all sounded like comedy brothers.
They probably all exist.
Oh, yeah.
They're all on the old circuit.
What was it?
Last laugh?
No, it was Ernie's.
Bill's.
You know what?
Cheetah's.
It was at Cheetah's.
And you're like, all right.
My friend's prank called my mom and dad's house
when I first started
doing comedy
they called
left a voicemail
and then I came home
and mom goes
you gotta listen to this
I think you got
something here
and it was my friend
he's like
oh yeah
my name is so and so
I work over here
at the chuckle hut
up here
like he left this
long voicemail
of like
big opportunities
for me
and I came home
because mom was like
you gotta hear this
I was like I've never worked in New Jersey.
And then she plays it like, that's Wes.
Chuckle Hut.
Is there a Chuckle Hut?
I don't think so.
I feel like there should be.
That's the one that everybody says.
Yeah.
The Erie, Pennsylvania, I have a great...
Juniors, right?
Juniors.
Juniors, yeah.
Yeah, it was a cool...
It was when we went there because you
have to be clean and then they uh and it was i was with soda if soda ever comes on here i
tell this again but it was i was with soda soda was opening for me this was forever ago and like
so uh we go and we do the show and so the first night the host is just a person they draws a name out of a hat
they get a host to show so you can you could put your buddy's name down as a joke and put it in
there and they call him and go you won do you want to host this show and then the guy's like
all right yeah i'll do it and and so the guy came and did it. So I didn't know this.
And the first night, I mean, this is when you're,
and I'm not trashing juniors.
Juniors was great.
But it was like very just funny.
I don't even know if they still do this.
But it was, they would do it.
I didn't know.
Like no one's coming to see me.
You know, we're just names.
You're just a comedian.
And so we get there and I'm talking to the host
and I'm like
alright
how long have you been doing it
and he's like
once
and he goes
and I was like
you've done it once
he goes well
tonight
I'm gonna do it tonight
and I'm like
tonight's your once
you've never done it
tonight's your first time
he goes yeah
pretty nervous
and we're like
you're hosting this show
so he goes up
he's gotta bring soda up
he goes up
and does I mean I don't know, three minutes.
Murders.
No, no, no.
No, like three minutes.
And so the point of that is you're supposed to be clean.
Well, when you put someone new, they're not going to be clean.
So, I mean, he's just filthy.
And he does three minutes, and he goes,
Dan Soder's coming up next and and he walked away
usually you go please welcome your next comic dan soda yeah he just goes your next comic dan
soda he's going to be coming up here and uh all right and he just left then dan goes up there
then dan goes up and he goes and sits down in the front row with his family and then
dan's doing like 20 30 minutes and he's now he's drinking starts heckling dan oh my god starts
heckling dan really yeah and then uh and then he goes then dan's like all right when he's done he's
like all right you got to come back up here man because you got to bring up you know nate and he
goes oh okay and he didn't know and
then so he comes he comes up now he's drunk and he then does 20 minutes of just who knows what
just he's loose now he's confident he's confident three minutes the first one he's like well i'm not
gonna he goes i won't drink you know because i won't take it serious yeah and he just goes up
there and bombs for three minutes and then he goes and drinks for 30 and just pounded them.
And then he's like, I'll do it.
And then does 20 more minutes.
And then brings me up like the same way.
Nate Bargetzi's coming.
They say your name first before.
Nate Bargetzi, he's been on stuff.
All right.
Nate, there's something.
Yeah, there you go.
When do we clap here?
You just got to go up.
I hate that.
Yeah.
All right.
North Carolina. That's going to be, see, that's going to be. We're going. All right. North Carolina.
That's going to be...
We're going to call this a
North Carolina? Yeah. Come on and raise
up, take your shirt off, twist it around
your hand, spell it like a helicopter. Yeah.
Know that song? Yeah. Petey Pablo?
Yeah.
It's a North Carolina song.
Yeah. It's a popular
song. It is. I met that guy once.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Petey Pablo, baby.
Raise Up.
That's it.
Yeah, I don't think we could.
No, you don't want to.
You can't really play that.
I think North Carolina is the first state I ever visited from Tennessee
because my family, we'd go to the Smoky Mountains on vacation.
And one day we drove into North Carolina and I was blown away.
I'm in another state. Yeah. I just heard about it on television. That day we drove into North Carolina. I was blown away. I'm in another state.
I just heard
about it on television.
Mama, we did it.
We did it.
You tell me we left. We ain't in
Knox County no more.
We out of Knox County and we're
in North Carolina.
I like the way you said it.
We all went to Cherokee.
Oh, yeah, to the casino?
Cherokee, yeah.
Before the casino.
The Bates didn't go to the casino,
but we were in Cherokee.
That's where everybody would go.
I never went to Cherokee,
but I remember everybody would go there at 18.
I didn't know you could go there then.
I didn't know anything.
I mean, the casino has not been around that long.
The last 15 years or something.
Oh, really?
I thought it was when I was in high school.
I don't think so.
Oh.
No.
I mean, it's kind of new.
Gambling wasn't always allowed in North Carolina.
That just kind of recently happened because of, you know, it's an Indian reservation.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
I've worked there many times at Cherokee.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
I used to know the chief of the tribe.
There's a guy named Michelle Hicks.
That was his name.
Yeah.
He came to see me in Atlanta and other places.
I got to tell you this story, man.
It's going to sound bad.
Do we have time?
Yeah.
We just got started on the title of the show.
This has to do with North Carolina.
Yeah.
It's the chief of the Cherokee tribe.
Michelle Hicks.
Michelle Hicks.
Okay.
So he came to see me once with some of his
friends in Asheville. Yeah. Some of the other tribe members or whatever. We all go along,
we've all hung out many times. And he comes back to the green room, he's got all these guys, and
he's introduced me to one of his friends. And he said, this guy, he's from Hickory. He went to one
of their high schools in Hickory. And so unbeknownst to them, and I do this all the time,
when someone comes up to me because oh i'm
from hickory i go what high school did you go to because you got like four yeah and then whatever
they say i say oh you dirty or whatever the mascot is yeah so if it were a tiger oh you dirty tiger
yeah so he happened to go to a high school where their mascot was an indian
and without thinking yeah he goes i went to saint St. Stephen's. I'm like, oh, you dirty
Indian. And it just came out. And I tried, I was like, what just happened? And I already
know all of them. And I just tried to gloss right over it. Like, let me get you something
to drink. Hey, look at that. It's all me. Whatever this table of these guys want. And
then a year went by and I hadn't heard from him. And I was like, I got to reach out.
And I did.
And he was like, you know what?
It didn't hit us like that, but we did notice it.
Because they did talk about it.
Oh, they didn't care yet.
No, they don't care.
But I felt like the biggest, because it just comes out.
Like if it were Cavalier, you dirty Cavalier.
It just happened to be that high school.
And it just came out that fast.
Yeah.
Is that why you went there?
How does that happen? You got recruited on that high school. And it just came out that fast. Is that why you went there?
How does that happen?
You got recruited on the desert?
Yeah, he got recruited.
He started making it worse.
Or he took over the school.
Yeah, so you're only allowed to go there?
I don't...
Yeah, it was weird.
Yeah, that's so gross.
The Cherokee's great.
That's the moral of the story.
I feel like I need to skip the history of North Carolina and just get to the fun stuff.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
Krispy Kreme located, headquartered in Winston-Salem.
Yeah.
Wow.
Good stuff.
Yeah.
You like Krispy Kreme?
Oh, yeah.
We had a Krispy Kreme challenge. Yeah.
That was the first thing we ever did on this podcast.
Oh, yeah.
First thing we talked about, the first episode is about us, how many Krispy Kremes we could eat.
Oh, man.
I like them fresh, and I like them the next day.
I like them stale, too.
Do we have like a day or two old Krispy Kremes have been sitting out?
Yeah.
That's great, too.
Just dipping in coffee.
They're all great.
Yeah.
Just a glaze, a plain glaze.
I do chocolate.
I'm sure that's awesome, and I know it is about it,
but that's not necessary.
It's like putting fruit in your ice cream.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't need that.
I'll take it.
The extra.
I'm not going to knock it off.
But the fruit would be healthy.
It would be.
And so the ice cream's not healthy.
No, it's not.
So it would be like putting chocolate syrup on your ice cream.
Correct.
Yeah.
Now, if you put fruit in there, then that's unnecessary.
That's unnecessary.
Yeah. Which, if Krispy Kreme was like, we're we're selling fruit we got a banana on this thing you'd be like i'm
not here for that yeah i mean if it's in there i'm not gonna that's gonna be the last one i won't
be eating a banana i'll stay home i came to this room right because we get banana anywhere yeah
that's because we're going to sunday i love crispy better than duck and donuts oh yeah yeah that's
the south is crispy cream we don't know duck and donuts is like i don't even understand like when I love Krispy Kreme. Better than Dunkin' Donuts. Oh, yeah. The South is Krispy Kreme.
We don't know.
Dunkin' Donuts is like, I don't even understand.
When I first moved up to the North, it was like,
that's all they had was Dunkin' Donuts.
And they're like, that's all we like.
And I'm like, y'all's donuts are terrible.
I know, thank you.
I don't like them.
America runs on it, dude.
That's what they say.
America runs on Dunkin'.
It's like, you want to go like, guys, have you had Krispy Kreme?
They apparently have it.
Yeah, you want to just go like, do you know what we're doing down here, dude?
We are crushing it down here.
We are crushing it.
Yeah.
Dunkin' Donuts, you're always like, I still go do it.
I like them.
I'm not going to say that.
If I need it, it's there.
If it's there and I need a donut, I'll go get it.
I like that. I've had people say, what about the coffee now i've had their ice coffee yeah i've had that coffee's good yeah i get a diet coke with uh krispy kreme donuts dude i love it
that's funny diet cuts okay i just this just happened to me i think i've reached the age
where i'm now yes this is me and you right here.
Maybe you're doing this just now.
I don't know.
But coffee for me used to be just breakfast in the morning to wake up.
Or maybe if I'm in college and I'm studying for exams, I'm trying to stay awake.
I've just reached the age where I had coffee with lunch, with a chicken sandwich and coffee.
That is.
And I liked it.
I think that's my thing now.
Yeah.
Do you coffee with lunch?
No.
No.
I just drink coffee like in the morning. In the morning.
And then, but I won't even drink it.
I'll do, I don't like it with my food.
I still like Diet Pepsi.
I drink a Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi.
Right.
I just want Diet Coke.
Try it sometime.
Try a coffee.
Yeah, I don't know.
With a chicken sandwich.
Yeah.
Let me know what you think.
Have you done that?
No, I just started drinking coffee in the last couple of years.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll do it.
And you had a stroke.
Maybe that had something to do with it.
Maybe.
I didn't have a stroke, but we're still talking about it.
Did we confirm that you didn't have a stroke?
Bell's palsy.
Yeah.
We haven't confirmed what it is, but I'm pretty sure it went in a stroke.
Yeah.
Really?
That's good.
Okay.
We asked some listeners and they said probably not.
That's John Heffron.
John Heffron had Bell's palsy on stage during the show.
His whole face started slipping down.
Yeah.
And he just, in the middle of his act, and they had to take him to the hospital.
He has a joke about like, go give me some Arby's.
It looks like all his juice is coming out of my mouth.
Yeah.
But he had Bell's palsy.
So that's like a mini stroke.
Yeah.
Did you have something for real that happened?
It's still ongoing.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Like right now, in this moment.
In this moment.
Yeah.
I can't tell.
You're hiding it well.
That's why we sit him at the end of the table,
so everybody can see it when he happens.
This way.
Okay.
No, we want everybody to see it. Oh, yeah yeah because the cameras yeah that's when the audience will know
it happened when he comes in he's sitting in this chair and i'm down there and then like he never
looks at the camera he's always just like yes uh i didn't know you could do so bell it would just
happen like he was on stage and then he everybody saw it too? Yeah. It just. You feel it, I guess, too, right?
Yeah, I think so.
You just feel like you just get sleepy?
Yeah.
I didn't know it was that quick.
You don't always recover, but he recovered.
It's just one side of your face just slips down.
That's crazy.
Yep.
And then, man, that's so wild.
And they just say, you know, hey, it's kind of like a little mini stroke
that happens
just to put in your face on stage that's how much comedy he's doing yeah i mean that's just
think about how much we're on stage is to go you have that no one has that happen in front of
people absolutely i mean i'm sure they have it like but the odds yeah but you're like on stage
that much that's true yeah yeah the odds are that it would more likely happen on stage that much. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. The odds are that
it would more likely
happen on stage than not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How much this guy
has to stand up
for the last 30 years.
Yeah.
Of course it's going
to happen on stage.
It's going to happen.
I kind of hope
I die up there.
That's North Carolina.
Yeah.
North Carolina.
Yeah.
Yes.
All right.
We can make that happen.
I'm just going to OD on stage.
Yeah.
But I'm ready to go
I'll have a show ready
like I'll do a show
maybe a New Year's Eve thing
lots of people dressed up
just pop a bunch of pills
right beforehand
time it just right
and then you're out
so you're happy
and then you start
these people's new year off
to just
how was the show?
this year got started off rough.
Yeah.
Reap died.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Krispy Kreme
actually started in Nashville.
Ooh.
What?
And then they moved
to Winston-Salem
because his favorite
cigarette company,
Camel Cigarettes,
were in Winston-Salem.
Oh my gosh.
Of course.
I love it.
North Carolina,
that's Tobacco.
That's Tobacco.
Tobacco Road.
Yeah, baby.
Texas Pete Hot sauce
Oh
Manufactured in
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Yeah
Marketing advisor
Suggested it be called
Mexican Joe
Oh my gosh
But the father
Of the founder
Opposed it
Saying that it should be
Named after an American
Yeah
So his
His brother Harold
Went by Pete
Yeah
So they called it Texas Pete
They go we'll go Texas Pete
Or we'll go dirty India
Yeah
Yeah
He goes I'm fine either way
Just put it on the bottle
I don't want to talk about it no more
From North Carolina
Texas Pete
Yeah
Why can't we go
North Carolina Joe or something
Why are we going to go Texas
They had a spicy
It was a spicy sauce
So they said
It needed to be something like
Mexican Joe.
Okay.
Pepsi started North Carolina.
That's true.
It was a medical student.
Pride of the Carolinas, they say.
Yeah.
He was at a drugstore in New Bern.
Is that how you say that?
Mm-hmm.
Opened his own drugstore, and he created a drink to aid digestion, which he was called
Brad's Drink.
Oh, really?
Oh, I like Brad's Drink. Pepsi was originally called Brad's Drink, and, really? Oh, I like Brad's Drink.
Pepsi was originally called Brad's Drink,
and then it finally took off,
so they had to change it from something other than Brad's Drink.
Really? I didn't know that.
Brad had some digestive problems, apparently.
Yeah.
I wonder what it would taste like back then.
Like, you know, did it taste...
Can you tell a difference between Coke and Pepsi?
I can. I can pick it out.
I like Pepsi more. Pepsi Zero is pretty good, too. between coke and pepsi i can i could pick it out i like pepsi i like pepsi more i did pepsi zero
is pretty good too yeah uh but i uh i'll drink diet coke like i won't i'm not gonna not have a
soda yeah i like coke zero or yeah the the diet coke i don't like but i'll drink it all the time
because that's what's there yeah i don't mind diet coke i don't like coke zero really but they
they have a new zero that I think someone said it's...
Yeah, it's a good time.
Were you around for the old New Formula when that happened?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You were probably really young with that.
No.
There was Coke, and then they went to New Formula.
And I'm 42.
I feel like you were like...
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just look great.
Yeah, but that was pretty...
Aaron's the one.
Aaron's 20.
He just turned 30.
He just turned 30.
New Formula Coke?
I've heard of it.
I don't remember New Coke.
I wonder if you could find that somewhere.
Have you heard Norm MacDonald's theory behind New Coke?
He said, well, you had regular Coke, right?
And they were using real sugar.
And they felt like we could save money if we switch it to corn syrup.
But you can't just do that overnight.
So what they did was they came out with a new formula.
And then when they switched back to the Coke Classic,
it wasn't called Coke again.
It was called Coke Classic.
It was a little bit different, and it was because of the corn syrup
or something like that.
So he has a whole theory about corn syrup and why they did it.
So they did it just to get you off of it enough.
So you won't remember.
And then you go, no, no, no, this is it.
And you go, finally.
You're like, good.
Yeah, good.
It's not the same.
It's not the same.
Pretty brilliant.
Go to Mexico because that's the real Coke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not dirty.
It's good Coke.
Yeah, it's good.
The 8,000 acre Biltmore State in Nashville.
Yeah.
I've been there
largest state in the US
largest what
estate
estate
yeah
second largest
Nate's house
yes
yeah
that's a Vanderbilt
right
yep
yeah
that's beautiful
it's huge
uh been there
many times
they have their own winery
they have good wine there
as well
Asheville's nice
Asheville's like the
San Francisco
of the south
they say
cause it's got a lot of it's in the San Francisco of the South, they say.
Because it's got a lot of, it's in the mountains, so it's a lot of hills you've got to go through and it's very sort of liberal, open-minded.
Yeah.
It's like San Francisco.
Yeah.
But it's beautiful.
People aren't friendly.
That kind of stuff.
No, they don't bathe.
Yeah.
You know.
A lot of patchouli.
Stuck up.
Yeah.
Very confused.
Yeah.
They go.
Yeah.
And they're right in North Carolina.
I think you're like, you have mask only.
That's going to be the new way how you describe a place.
What is it?
Mask or mask only?
Or mask only?
There you go.
It's mask only.
Okay.
I get it.
Yeah, it's funny.
The NASCAR Hall of Fame's in Charlotte?
Yeah, I've been there.
We've been there.
Yeah, we have a great picture of me and Harper.
We did one of those simulator races.
Did you take that picture?
Yeah.
I'd frame the picture.
It's like me.
Who are you with?
My daughter.
She's in the simulation, and I'm leaning in,
and then she's looking at me as I tell her the directions,
and I think he just was standing there and took it.
It's like an awesome-looking photo.
Oh, yeah.
That's awesome.
That was fun, I bet, doing the simulator.
I've not done that before. Oh, it's awesome.
I've never done that before.
Oh, it's awesome.
I've just played video games that you think is like that, you know, where they have three screens.
You thought, I guess that's what it is.
But this is probably like.
Yeah.
That's the real deal.
I went through it a bunch.
Like, I've been there.
I go every time.
I go to Charlotte.
And because I did Ryan Blaney's podcast like a couple years ago.
Yeah.
And so they do that there.
Okay.
And Dale Earnhardt Jr. And so they do that there. And,
uh,
and Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Was there.
Uh,
he,
and I saw him smaller than I thought.
Yeah.
He's,
he's not,
I mean, I'm taller than him.
Yeah.
He just,
he seemed,
he's got a tall build on TV.
And he just has that name.
The presence is like,
so yeah,
you think like he's going to be just a big dude.
You're like,
it's just not a,
you know him or.
Yeah. Yeah. I've, I've worked worked i've done like a gig at uh one of his like holiday parties
before and i've met him a couple times here and there but yeah nice guy he's got he's got a good
accent yeah he's got a good accent the my favorite accent though in nascar is probably michael
waltrip yeah have you heard his? It's kind of like this.
Or it could be like, I'm not sure which way
I fall.
It sounds like Tiger King.
Yeah, a little bit.
Listen to him talk.
When I won the Daytona 500, it was the same
year that...
I'm going to get one of him.
He makes a mean mug too.
He likes to have a good time. He makes a mean mug too. He's not talking much in this interview.
He likes to have a good time.
Okay, here he goes.
What are the rules of life?
I remember it vividly and always will because I... He's trying to keep it straight, right?
Yeah, this is like a serious...
He's talking about when Dale Earnhardt died.
Oh, this is an interview about a tragedy.
My bad.
This is not a good one.
This is the worst possible.
This is what his book.
He came out with a book describing that Daytona 500.
The only time he won the Daytona 500 was when his friend died,
making a move to get him to the lead.
And his son finished second.
Yeah.
There's both his teams.
Right.
Because Waltrip, Earnhardt Jr., and Dale Waltrip.
I mean, then, Earnhardt.
Darrell Waltrip was a member of where I'm at.
Right.
Legends golf course.
I see him up there all the time.
He's very nice, too.
Waltrip?
Yeah.
I mean, just the nicest.
And Michael Waltrip, we had the same manager.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Just super, super nice, dude.
Just the best.
But, like, yeah, the first NASCAR race I ever watched the whole race of
was the one Darrell Waltrip died in.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I mean, Darrell Waltrip.
Darrell Hart.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
But there's someone else.
What was number 20?
I want to say it's number 22, but it's not now.
Joey Logano, I think, is 22 now.
But it was, like, there was 22 NASCAR drivers before that.
Burton or?
Ward Burton.
Ward Burton.
Go look up Ward Burton's accent, dude.
Ward Burton's accent has been my favorite.
That's a good one.
It is so good, dude.
You almost can't.
Oh, Ward Burton is pissed.
I bet you that's a good one.
Okay.
Yeah, let's do that one.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
It's so good.
His vocabulary.
Oh, it's just like this dude's –
Kind of like Boomhauer a little bit from King of the Hill.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He don't even know what he says when he starts talking.
He doesn't know what's going to come out of his mouth.
It's so good.
All right, go read something else.
All right.
Hickory Motor Speedway is referred to as the world's most famous short track.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's called the birthplace of future NASCAR stars.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Hickory.
Oh, that's where they do it?
Hickory Motor Speedway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I had never been there until I just moved back home about three years ago.
Wow.
And I've been a couple times since then.
Yeah.
It's old. It's run down. And I've been a couple times since then. It's old.
It's run down.
But they still have a lot of races there.
There are kids driving.
Yeah.
A girl just won a series there.
And she's like 14.
Yeah.
And these kids with braces.
Sometimes I'll do an interview with them for the podcast.
I'll do a thing down there.
Yeah.
And it's weird because these are children.
Children.
They don't even have a driver's license.
Yeah.
And they're going 200 miles an hour.
Start.
Here's Ward Burton.
Here's Ward Burton.
Call up there amongst the top 10.
I don't know if NASCAR needs to do something about the map card.
When I'm down, I don't ever get no guy's way.
That guy was up there all day. Oh, my God.
Did he say that whole sentence without his mouth moving?
Yeah.
His lips don't move.
He could be a great ventriloquist.
Yeah.
Where's he from?
Yeah, he's, it's, man, I remember hearing his.
Can you?
I love that.
I love that so much.
He's from Boston.
His mouth doesn't.
What?
He's born in Boston.
Where did he grow up?
Virginia.
South Boston.
South Boston, Virginia.
Boston, Virginia, not Boston, Massachusetts.
Okay.
No way.
Okay.
Yeah.
He's Southie.
The Greater Hickory Kia Classic at Rock Barn is a golf tournament.
You ever heard of that?
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
I don't know the classic.
I think I've drove around that.
Is that track – I thought I drove in Richmond.
I thought we went out in Richmond.
Richmond was very small.
Well, Hickory, that track is not like a real – they don't have like big time races.
Is there stands?
Yeah.
On one side?
I mean, just one side.
And is it flat and small yeah pretty
much yeah i almost think i i drove around it because it was open one day yeah and we drove
there and uh i remember there being like potholes though probably yeah it's been around for a long
time i think they fixed it but it wasn't yeah it was not a big trip i do know the uh rock bar
country club you're talking about you would probably love it i'm not like a big trek. I do know the Rock Barn Country Club you're talking about.
You would probably love it.
I'm not like a big golf guy, but that's the place to go if you like golf.
Yeah. Rock Barn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Mayberry Days is held every year in Mount Airy, home of Andy Griffith.
I would love that.
I went to one of those.
My dad was a huge Mayberry fan.
He actually bought a squad car, a replica of the squad car.
Whoa.
Oh, wow. And he took it to Mayberry fan. He actually bought a squad car, a replica of the squad car. Wow.
And he took it to Mayberry Days Festival and he had all the celebrities
sign the dash, the ones that were still alive sign the dash. He was in the parade
and in fact I was working for a TV station at the time, before I did
stand-up. I was working at PBS and then we did a show called North Carolina
Now and I said
y'all gotta go cover
this festival
it's hilarious
and I knew my dad
would be in it
so I did it just to
get my dad on the show
yeah that's cool
and yeah
it's pretty cool man
yeah that's crazy
I like you said PBS
you're like
I was doing this
TV station
PBS
yeah
we definitely
if I say UNC TV
people are like
what is that
is that a university
yeah yeah
but it's North Carolina's PBS
See I actually know that
Because
I used to work in TV news
And we do regional Emmy Awards
I'm an Emmy winner so
Oh wow
Potential Grammy
But it was the
Mid-South Emmy Awards
It was Tennessee
North Carolina
And Northern Alabama
That was the region
Yeah
But
Yeah North Carolina now Would be nominated for stuff.
Yeah.
So there's a-
He's the best and brightest of that-
Of that group.
Of that area.
Did you go to Mayberry Days?
No, but I just saw a Mayberry Man movie.
Rick Roberts plays Barney Fife in a Mayberry movie.
I loved-
Rick Roberts is great.
Yeah.
So we grew up on this. Andy Griffith.
So that was the show,
the black and white ones.
Yes.
Where you...
I mean, I haven't watched them as much.
I was trying to watch them with my daughter
because they're very fun
and there's a lot of lessons and stuff
and good stuff in there.
But there's nothing much funnier.
Don Knotts is the funniest thing.
He was...
Don Knotts, I think I've said it before,
Don Knotts was the first celebrity that died
that I was really sad about.
There's been others since then,
but when he died, I was like,
God, dude, that hurts.
I remember it hurting.
I was old enough for it to hurt.
And I was like, man.
And I always wanted to meet him and Andy Griffith.
Goober Pyle from Andy Griffith is a relative of mine.
Whoa.
I remember I saw him at a wedding in Gadsden, Alabama.
I was like, that guy looks so familiar.
Yeah, it's Goober Pyle.
George Lindsay.
Gomer Pyle?
Not Gomer.
Oh, Goober.
That's Goober right there.
Oh, yeah, Goober.
So these are the two of them together.
Goober and Gomer.
Yeah.
You just never hear his last name.
What's funny is Gomer's the more famous name,
but Goober's probably the most famous one of them.
It's the most, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I mean like Gomer's famous.
Gomer was in a bunch of, but Gomer's a better name.
Gomer had his own show.
He had his own show.
Yeah.
But Goober.
George Lindsay, he was on,
I did an episode of Larry the Kibble Guys,
Hula Palooza Christmas special with Reno was on there,
and George Lindsay was on there.
Really?
So I got to meet George Lindsay right before he passed away.
Super nice guy. Yeah, that's my relative.
Yeah.
Did you say hi to him?
Did you tell him I said hi?
I did.
Did he ever know you were his relative?
Oh, no.
No.
He just died a couple years ago, right?
I don't know.
We don't hang out, but it's one of those, like, oh, somehow he's in the family yeah yeah to be at the wedding but bonnie five
have you ever seen the movie the ghost of mr chipper yeah that was on the other day i can't
i can't turn away if that thing is on i have to watch the whole thing yeah yeah it's it's uh
it's don not scared yeah is the funniest thing ever.
Just him afraid.
In a haunted house, whatever it is.
Do you like Mr. Furley?
Yes, totally.
I like the other one too.
The other crappy neighbor.
The Ropers.
Anything he did was amazing.
Did y'all see it at the theater?
That movie he's just talking about?
Yeah, Ghost of Mr. Chicken. I don't think
I know. I'm talking about Three's Company now.
I know. I was just joking.
We're like old guys. I know.
You go, what'd y'all do? How much were
movie tickets? We saw it at the Nicolade.
Yeah, the Nicolade. And you go, price has
gone up, mama.
And then Brian walks in right behind him.
We just got back from North Carolina.
I'm traveled.
To a whole other state.
It's two miles in.
The first baby born in the United States from the English settlers was born in North Carolina.
Wow.
Virginia Dare.
She was born in the Roanoke Colony, 1587.
What was she like?
Well, some bad stuff happened. That whole colony disappeared.
Oh, really?
Was that Croatoan?
Yeah.
Good job, John. Thank you.
They just disappeared.
It's the vanished colony. The first colony showed up.
The governor left to go back to England to get more supplies.
And then a war broke out in England.
So he couldn't immediately come back.
He came back three years later.
They're all gone.
Just the only thing they could find was a word carved into a tree that said
Croatan.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
They don't know.
There is an Indian tribe that was called Croatan.
Right.
That was further away.
Oh.
So they think they either came and killed them or took them away.
Yeah. But they really don't know.
There's no bodies found.
There's nothing.
It just disappears.
But it's one of those unsolved mysteries.
Wow.
I remember hearing that.
I mean, how crazy is it you go,
all right, I'll be right back.
And then you're like, three years,
you're like, sorry.
And you're like, dude, no one's here.
You're like, it's been three years, man.
That's a long time.
Right, I'm not going to stay in this one spot
for three years. What if they're like,
we lived a very happy life, we moved. They could have.
Yeah. But his wife, daughter...
But they didn't leave a note. They could have said,
hey, we moved on.
What are they going to leave?
Is it stapled to a tree? Like a piece of paper?
This was before paper?
Yeah. It might be.
No. But his wife, daughter,
and Virginia Dare was his granddaughter. They're all gone. No. But his wife, daughter, and Virginia Day was his granddaughter.
Yeah.
They're all gone.
No one knows what.
Some people think aliens got them.
Yeah.
I like that.
I like that, too.
Yeah.
Billy Graham Library.
Yeah.
In Charlotte, North Carolina.
Yeah.
Lots of books in there.
Yeah.
We're starting to fade.
We're starting to fade out.
That's nice.
Do I have the same thing?
No.
Do you know the miracle of Hickory?
Do you know what that is?
Yes.
There was a huge plague or something that happened.
Polio.
Polio.
I wasn't wrong.
And a lot of people were dying and they had to make a makeshift hospital, I think.
That's right.
And they were putting people up. And the citizens started acting as nurses and trying to help the community, I think.
That's right.
Case of polio broke out.
And within 24 hours, there were six more cases.
And they built a hospital in 55 hours.
Yeah.
Full-scale hospital.
Yeah.
And treated all these people.
And it's like one of the
great acts of humanity ever.
It's still there.
They haven't changed it. It's still there.
Dirt floor. Polio's still there.
And a hospital.
Y'all didn't get it solved because
there was no doctors helping?
It was all just regular people?
Just keep building buildings.
Don't worry about the disease.
Did y'all solve polio?
You're like, no, I don't know.
I had a mechanic try to get it out of me.
And then he, you know.
Can you imagine if they try that now, though?
Yeah.
Put your mask on.
I'm not putting my mask on.
They built a hospital in 55 hours.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
That's great.
That's awesome.
You know, I get, so Hickory, I have everybody that starts from North Carolina. Hickory. You guys are old Hickory, right? Yeah. Because I So, Hickory Everybody I thought was from North Carolina
Hickory, you guys are old Hickory, right?
Yeah, because I'm old Hickory
People I'd say I'm from old Hickory
They're like, oh, you know John Reed?
And I'm like, no, he's Hickory
I'd get it, I mean, I still get it
That makes me kind of feel good
Oh, yeah, everybody knows you're Hickory
They come up to you, they think of me a little bit
Oh, yeah, they do
I would always get it I mean, I've always got it Because you're Hickory. When they come up to you, they think of me a little bit. Oh, yeah, they do. It gives me a little bit of... No, yeah.
I would always get it.
I mean, I've always got...
Because you were Hickory.
It's because on last comic standing, I said, I'm from Hickory one time.
Okay?
And I shook my head, and it was, you know, got a laugh.
And they use that every episode, coming back, and coming up next, we got to get...
And I go, I'm from Hickory.
And so I actually ended up saying it a
bunch you know i only said it one time they kept showing it so now it's like you think of me it's
like hickory or hickory you know get away today did hickory like love it some people liked it
some people didn't yeah because i make hickory sound like a backwoods sort of small redneck
town and it's not really that at all it's sort of in the middle of the road, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
But there are people who are like not,
they don't think of themselves as redneck-y at all,
who hate the fact that I made it sound that way.
Do you get recognized a lot there when you go home?
Yeah.
I mean, it has to be.
At least a couple times.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, not a whole lot.
When it was last come and standing, was it just like? Well, I wasn't living there. I a couple times. I mean, yeah, not a whole lot. When it was last comic standing, was it just like...
Well, I wasn't living there.
I was in LA when I would go home, definitely.
Isn't there a NASCAR driver from Hickory?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Hang on.
There's a couple.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Hang on.
Dang it.
Dale.
Earnhardt.
Something or other.
No, he's outside of Hickory.
Dang it. Well, I'm sorry. I'll think of it in a minute. Wall trip. Something or other. No, he's outside of Hickory. Dang it.
I'm sorry.
I'll think of it in a minute.
Wall trip.
The UPS.
Dale Jarrett.
Yeah, UPS.
Ned and Dale Jarrett.
Yeah, they drove for UPS.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then they got into NASCAR.
That's what Brown could do.
That's the joke.
You know why North Carolina's called the Tar Heel State?
Yes, because during a war.
Because this is taking too Tar Heel long.
They used tar to slow the other guys down or something.
Someone stepped in tar.
I know that much.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
I can't believe that they named an entire university after that.
That's a pretty good one, though.
It really worked out.
That's like...
Yeah.
Really?
You want to associate yourself with speed and athleticism
with a Tar Heel? So what do they have
there? The Rams? Is that a Ram?
Yeah. Well, that's the mascot. You're right.
That is the mascot, but I don't
think the Ram has a Tar Heel.
Looks like the symbol for cattle. Do y'all have a lot of
Rams?
I haven't seen a Ram.
Dodge Rams. Dodge Ram
trucks. Yeah, why are they the Rams?
Y'all have a lot of Wolfpack?
No, I mean in the mountains.
Y'all have a lot of Commodores
running around Nashville?
Yeah, well,
the guy that built Vanderbilt
was a Commodore.
All right.
I'm not sure why
certain places choose a mascot.
I think.
I don't know if that's true either.
Was he a Commodore?
Yeah, Cornelius Vanderbilt.
Cornelius Vanderbilt was a Commodore.
I would have never guessed.
Oh, was he in the Commodores? The band? No, he was in the Commodore? Cornelius Vanderbilt. Cornelius Vanderbilt was a Commodore. I would have never. Was he in the Commodores?
The band?
No, he was.
Lama Richard.
I don't know why their mascot's a Ram.
Who did you grow up?
NC State.
Well, I went to NC State.
When I grew up, though, everyone in North Carolina pulls for Carolina.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe one or two good people out there.
No one really pulls for a state that much. So I grew up sort of brainwashed into believing I have to like Carolina. Yeah. All right. Maybe one or two good people out there. No one really pulls for a state that much.
So I grew up sort of brainwashed into believing I have to like Carolina.
Yeah.
Until I tried to go to school there, and they did not let me.
Yeah.
State let me in.
And I was like, well, then I have to pull for these guys.
Yeah.
So now I pull for NC State.
And we just beat Carolina the other day.
It was a good game.
Great game.
Did you see that?
I watched it.
Yep.
So they...
Yeah.
So that's...
You know, I've actually been to their stadium.
I just was there, and I just was like,
oh, let me...
I walked around, y'all have that Wolf Pack and stuff.
I was just walking around.
It was not open.
I was just kind of like looking at it.
Yeah.
But there...
So that would be...
So a lot of NC State fans are people that went to NC State
that live there.
I would say...
Yes.
Probably.
You probably went to State
or had someone in their family go to state.
If you didn't go there, right, you probably just pulled for Carolina.
Yeah.
So if I see someone wearing a Carolina hat, I know they got that at a Walmart.
Yeah.
And they didn't go there.
Yeah.
I got mine at the bookstore when I was a student.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
I got my Vanderbilt hat at a bookstore, but anybody can go into those bookstores.
That's true.
That's true.
It wasn't a government issue.
Here, you get your hat.
But yeah, I would have...
I grew up liking Carolina.
And then it stayed after that.
Wright Brothers
for their first flight.
First flight, that's cool.
We claim that even though the Wright Brothers are
from Ohio. They were born
in Ohio, but they came down to North Carolina
and jumped off one of our sand dunes, and it lasted for a minute.
And they said, we flew in North Carolina.
Wow.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we kind of stole it from out of Ohio.
Oh, but they actually flew in Ohio?
No, no, they're from Ohio.
The Wright brothers, who were the first in flight, the first airplane,
are from Ohio, but they came to North Carolina with the thing they
built and jumped it off of one
of our sand dunes.
Now North Carolina says, we were the first.
Even though they're not from there.
They just came down here. But you were the first
land that it jumped
off of. That's the important thing.
That's the main thing.
I agree with that. No one's going to care.
Certain Ohio people don't like it.
Why didn't the Wright brothers do it in Ohio?
They don't have good land.
What did that sand do?
Yeah.
Is there places in North Carolina where it's warm all year or is it?
Not all.
Well, I mean, warmer than others.
Like if you get to the south part on the coast.
Yeah.
We've got some good beaches.
Yeah.
Wrightsville Beach, Carolina Beach are some good ones. Outer Banks. Outer Banks is nice. Yeah. got some good beaches. Wrightsville Beach, Carolina Beach,
there's some good
ones.
Outer Banks.
Outer Banks is
nice.
Kitty Hawk.
North Carolina
second to Florida
for hurricanes.
Wow.
Been to some
hurricanes.
Hugo, Floyd.
I was in college
when Floyd happened.
He said congrats.
That was a good
thing.
Good work, guys.
I'm still alive.
That's cool, man.
Thanks, man.
Appreciate that. Good for y'all. Killed a bunch of our pigs. Oh, a good thing. Good work, guys. Thanks, man. Appreciate that.
Good for y'all. Killed a bunch of our pigs.
Oh, really?
Hurricane Floyd.
Killed more pigs than people.
Pig farms just flooded.
Mostly.
We survived.
Yeah.
If you're listening to this and you're a pig,
I would not move to North Carolina.
Don't go to North Carolina.
Because it's not good for you.
No.
You said it the same way, though.
Kill more pigs than people.
That's what y'all said.
That's y'all's news down there.
Well, we got more pigs than people this year.
Cape Fear Serpentarium in Wilmington had a close.
That owner got murdered by his wife.
Yeah. Oh, I don't know that one. I have a joke about it. What happened? It's a whole story. Cape Fear Serpentarium in Wilmington had a close. Yeah. That owner got murdered by his wife. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know that one.
I have a joke about it.
What is it?
What happened?
It's a whole story.
Cape Fear.
Is that from the movie, like Robert De Niro?
No, no, no.
In Wilmington, Illinois County, there's a thing called Cape Fear Serpentarium.
And I went to it.
What is a serpentarium?
It's a, he had snakes and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
And you'd go visit it.
And then that guy, so I did a whole joke about it because an alligator got out.
And then I came back and then there's another joke.
Then, because after that all happened, that guy's wife killed him in that place.
Oh, my God.
I remember this now.
Yeah.
Insane.
That needs to be in the next Tiger King.
They've got to do something on that.
Yeah, yeah.
That would be good.
I mean, he's gone now.
Yeah.
All right. I was going in on something on that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good. And he's gone now. But yeah.
All right.
I was going in on the video of you dancing.
Oh, they got thrown in there.
Barbecues.
Barbecue big, North Carolina?
Yeah, they got their
little vinegar-based style.
I'm desperate here.
Well, it's not.
It's fine.
Lots of pigs.
Lots of pigs.
So yes, barbecue's good.
I know.
I went to a high nest.
What do you guys got?
Highways?
What are y'all doing? Cars down there? What's james taylor you know james taylor james taylor north carolina is on his mind steve bart live in asheville yeah i think supposedly
that's what you always heard if you go to asheville yeah steve bartman no steve martin
steve martin steve martin that would have come up earlier oh yeah Steve Martin that's where he relocated
Steve Hartman is there as well
Steve Hartman
and Steve Martin
and Steve Martin
all of them
and Martin Short
and Martin Short
alright
thanks for having me man
yeah dude
I was so glad that you came in
I am honored
and then
yeah
I love you buddy
I love all you guys
where you at this weekend?
I will be in Virginia Beach
at the Funny Bone
Friday and Saturday
yeah I've been there I opened for Rich Voss there that's the only time I was ever there really? you guys where you at this weekend man i will be in virginia beach at the funny bone saturday yeah
i've been there yeah i opened for rich voss there that's the only time i was ever there really i've
been it's i think it's been closed for a minute yeah they're just now opening back up you know
but uh yeah rich virginia beach yeah it's funny bone so i'll be there and then uh lexington i
can't remember yeah look at my website go to your go to his website is it john reed but you go to
country ish.com you can see my tour dates there
as well.
There you go.
And you might as well
check out the podcast.
Might as well listen to
that.
Countryish.
And then Reap.
Or what is it?
Heffernan Reap.
Heffernan Reap.
We go live every Monday
night on Facebook and
YouTube.
And then Countryish is
live as well every Tuesday
at 8.
And it's also a podcast.
Yeah.
Good times.
You're going to be on there times you're going to be on there
I'm going to be on there
yes
I think we got you
tentatively scheduled
for next week
unless something else
bigger happens for you
that's the Oscars
that's the Oscars
that's what I'm saying
John
there's going to be
something huge
if I get the Oscars
I'm going to get a Peabody award
I don't even know what that is
I'm supposed to be on
John Reeves' podcast
I can't
Mike give me a Peabody
can you win a Peabody
as a comedian
EGOT is you know what that is yeah but you give me a Peabody. Can you win a Peabody as a comedian?
EGOT is... You know what that is?
Yeah.
But you could get a Peabody and be a Peagot.
Oh, yeah.
You could be the first Peagot.
Oh, dude.
How do you win a Peabody?
I think it's...
Who just won one?
A comedian that just won one.
Somebody...
Jim Gaffigan maybe just won a Peabody.
What is that?
I don't know.
Next episode.
Don't spoil it.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Spoil is another one.
Okay.
How do you say spoil?
Spoil.
Oh, right.
Hang on.
Because I want to answer it honestly.
Spoil.
Spoil.
Spoil.
Yeah.
Spoil.
Spoil.
I kind of put an oil in it.
Yeah.
Spoil.
I say oil.
Spoil.
People don't know what I'm saying.
I'm like, can you check the oil?
And they're like, nah.
I was being like New York and they're like, I don't even know what that is.
I wouldn't even know where to guess on what you were meaning to say.
All right.
We love to have you, buddy.
Thanks, everybody.
We appreciate everything.
We love you.
See you next week.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
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