The Nateland Podcast - #88 Dinosaurs ft. Dusty Slay
Episode Date: March 2, 2022On this week’s episode, we’re discussing dinosaurs with special guest Dusty Slay. The guys set science back 65 million years by debating whether dinosaurs had a brain in their butt, the difference... between an asteroid and a meteor, and whether the game Marco Polo was actually named after the explorer Marco Polo.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com Allform - AllForm.com/Nate  Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at ALLFORM.COM/NATE ALLFORM.COM/NATE for your new favorite sofa. That is 20% off all orders at ALLFORM.COM/NATE  Away Travel. - AwayTravel.com/Nate Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases, at AWAY TRAVEL dot com slash NATE. That’s AWAY TRAVEL dot com slash NATE.  Mizzen & Main - MizzenandMain.com  Whether you’re working from the golf course or taking conference calls in the courtyard, we’ve got good news.  Right now if you go to MizzenAndMain.com and use promo code NATE, you’ll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more.   That’s $35 off when you go to MizzenAndMain.com and use our promo code NATE.  Keeps - Keeps.com/Nate  If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to Keeps.com/Nate to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's Keeps.com/Nate to get your first month free! Keeps.com/Nate.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello folks, welcome to the Nateland podcast. I'm neighbor getsy Brian Bates Aaron Webber
Hello folks doing it again. I guess we do it twice
Like I said, welcome to Nateland Podcast.
Happy you guys are here.
As you know, this is one of the episodes I get.
We've already been talking about a bunch, probably.
I've been gone for one month.
So I'm out on the road, getting in amazing shape.
I hope you come back so fat, dude.
Dude.
You imagine how happy it would make me if you come back 350 pounds.
I go, all right, everybody.
We're going a different comedy route.
More the Chris Farley.
It would be like when Elaine's back went back
out and Jerry's like, strange.
I would have thought Kramer would have.
Because you're usually your barber.
But had a knack for some people's five
or something like that.
Eric, yeah, it's funny.
Eric doesn't know how to do stuff
you go what is his real job he's a barber yeah your hair looks great yeah you're enormous you're
gigantic a beached whale walking in here uh no it's good uh it'll be great i mean we'll see yeah
i've been like going crazy because it's like i know it's like we're gonna reel it in and i i mean
i've gotten like i'm pretty big now I don't know what I'll weigh.
I need to weigh myself.
I don't think I'm 200, but like, I mean, I could, like, I have a belt that I put on
and it's down to the last circle and like it's last hole, I guess.
The last notch.
The last notch.
You have to make a new one.
Yeah.
It's like, well, it's like, it's funny just to, it's almost good for me to see it to be like yeah dude it doesn't take you know i mean i was my waist would get down there's jeans i can
wear that are 32 and stuff and like i mean you're like you're down there and then now i uh you know
it's uh you it goes the other way and it gets there quick oh yeah yeah pretty crazy uh all right
we'll start off some of you guys' comments.
Michelle Chapman.
Nate's laugh is the best when he gets really tickled.
Best podcast that covers all the first world problems.
Margarine versus butter.
Jam versus jelly.
The great ketchup refrigerator debate.
Do they have a podcast category at the Grammys?
We call Harper's,
my wife's,
my mother-in-law, she's called Grammy.
I don't know. No, they don't do a podcast
category at the Grammys.
I don't guess so. No, I don't think we would.
We would win. Probably.
Yeah.
Everybody gets a Grammy.
He's got an Emmy and a Grammy.
He's halfway to an EGOT.
He's halfway to an EGOT.
He's the one that's going to be Whoopi Goldberg, Brian Bates.
Yeah.
Thank you, Michelle.
Trey McIntosh.
Hey, Nate, you are mine and my fiance's, Sydney's favorite comedian,
but I can't get her into podcast.
What is your best idea for me to get her to watch you and Barnaby Jones
argue over how to say words and Aaron laugh condescendingly at both of you?
Condescendingly.
Condescendingly.
Condescendingly.
The way I'm saying it.
Yeah, it kind of worked perfectly.
Yeah.
Yeah, that –
That means to like talk down to someone.
Yeah, and that was –
Because you didn't know you were an idiot.
Yes, they make that word just hard enough that someone goes condescendingly, and then
they go condescendingly.
Yeah, the C is silent.
Yeah.
Condescending.
Oh, what C?
In the condescending.
The second C.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I pronounced it.
Like in science.
Condescendingly.
So if I said it like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. That's a little wrong. Why are you being so condescending right. So if I said it like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
That's a little wrong.
Why are you being so condescending right now?
Why are you being so condescending, dude?
Right now.
Yeah.
It's condescending.
Yeah.
Well, that's pretty funny.
They've made some words that are pretty funny that you're like, yeah, they really work out.
Science.
Think about that.
Science?
Oh, science.
That's how science is spelled.
Yeah.
Yeah, science.
The first guy that did it.
What if the perfect came up with that word, wanted it to be Skyence,
and never took off?
And now it's just science.
He goes, that's science for you.
That's science for you.
If you wanted to get in a podcast, I wouldn't start here.
And I mean, you got to, yeah.
Ours, I think you got to be along for the ride.
It's so tough.
I mean, you'd be, you know, it really, I think podcasts are people's time.
Like, do they, you know, it's like your job, you have a drive, do you have a, it's like that kind of thing.
I think it's easy if you can upload them easy too.
Like sometimes it's hard to think, I don't know, dude, I got to get my phone and do a whole thing.
And people are just like, ah, just turn on the radio.
I think it's just, yeah, it's time.
Do you listen to a lot of podcasts?
I do.
When do you do it?
Drives?
Because I drive a lot.
Every weekend I drive a ton.
So I have a few podcasts that I listen to.
Yeah, it's like when you're driving or if you can have it on,
if you're doing stuff around the house or whatever.
It's really a time, like if you have time for something.
But I think ours is good because you don't have to pay attention too much.
So that's the point of it.
It's passive entertainment.
Yes.
We're not looking to be your main thing.
Put it on the background of a dinner party.
Just turn it down low.
Yeah, just turn it down a little bit.
Yeah, we should be in more dinner parties. Yeah, T the background of a dinner party just turn it down yeah just turn down a little bit yeah we should be in more dinner parties yeah trey have a dinner party
uh john barry i know nate gets a lot of flack for potential being potentially being this i almost
said dyslexic i mean i was close dyslexic because i'll get hung up on potentially and then i'm
dyslexic i have an alternate theory on Because I'll get hung up on potentially, and then I'm dyslexic.
I have an alternate theory on this.
I often struggle, much like Nate, with confronted with a new word I've never seen before.
Trying to sound it out.
He's got commas.
This is supposed to send it, supposed to keep going.
It's not supposed to stop.
I mean, that was a lot of commas.
I often struggle. much like Nate,
when confronted with a new word I've never seen before,
trying to sound it out.
The idea of being confronted with this new word is so great, too,
like just being like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put a word up.
Yeah, just go.
No one said anything about this.
Yeah.
Bartholomew.
And I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't just come flowing numbers around.
I don't know what that means.
I think it boils down to how you originally learned how to read.
Apparently, reading clicked for me by memorizing words.
I commonly see until I have essentially memorized every word I run into.
My wife, on the other hand, learned to read
by actually sounding out all the individual phononics.
What is it?
Phonics.
Phonics.
Hooked on phonics.
Hooked on phonics worked for me.
That's a Brian Regan joke.
Hooked on phonics.
Worked for me of each word when we go somewhere
where we encounter a new word i don't even have a shot of trying to sound out the new word
but it just flows off my wife's tongue every time so good news nate
he's john barry's got to write a new comment and go, after you read that, Nate, I don't know what's going on.
So, so good news.
Nate may not be dyslexic.
However, Nate may not know how to read.
I mean, it's a bunch of that.
Yeah.
I don't know how to read where you can follow along.
I think I can read.
That's kind of a big part.
Yeah.
Well, I'm trying to get other people to listen.
Oh, you mean, you didn't know how to follow along.
I know how to read, but it's's like just leave me alone like don't ask
me about it but if you're like no we need you to read to people you're like ah come on man yeah
i'm not gonna be don't make me up there go read read something in front of people as we do this
podcast they can only take a little bit of this brandy k y'all had a breath of fresh air with
your best guest yet leanne morgan she inspired me to
start stand-up comedy and now i am insufferable there you go here's advice i need how do you guys
work out your new bits i keep trying to run them by my husband bill but he is so over it please
either give me some better advice or tell bill to get over it being over it get over it being over
it we're both listening many things uh yeah i mean i think i always think a good way is try to mix them in some conversation let me
try to tell like that's a i try to try and tell a story i think it makes you sound more conversational
on stage so you see if now if you do a real jokey joke it might be a little different difficult but
like whatever your idea is just try to do it to some friends or try to and try to really you
don't want them to know that you're trying this because i think that helps you on stage and that
how it makes you conversational so that's how i would do it and then you go it's funny right
i might do that on stage and then you say afterwards you say you might do it on stage
but you just kind of like it don't feel like you're just rattling off you can't just be like
sit down but you know you need a friend that
is able to handle that probably not your husband i wouldn't do that to laura you want someone else
find out you have a friend that's a good laugher yeah i would have buddies p jeremy morrow like
i'd call him jeremy would laugh at anything so if you want just some confidence in a joke i could
tell him and he would he would be dying and so like, you know, if you have a friend that's, like, willing to, you know,
they're going to laugh a lot, call them.
They, like, enjoy hearing stories, you know.
Yeah.
So find that person.
Matt Tanner.
I'm Nate Tage, and what I've noticed as you get older is every generation seems
to watch the shows they watch in their 20s or maybe early 30s the most.
I noticed the generation that grew up with westerns loves
westerns love them and i hate old westerns i think it's a comfort level and like nate said
you don't have to follow these shows close because you know them well that's true i'm not a western
guy people love them but people my age level and you love them you're gun smoke that's how you grew
up so i could get lured into it because i watched some with my grandfather yeah memories yeah me And you love them. Gunsmoke. That's how you grew up.
I could get lured into it because I watched some with my grandfather.
It brings back memories.
Yeah, me too.
And then, yeah, what memories does it bring back?
Are you like, oh, he pushed me on a swing one time.
Just watching it with my grandfather.
Yeah.
That's it.
Oh, that's the memory it brings back?
Yeah.
That's funny that everybody says it brings back memories.
You go, what are the memories?
No, it's just a memory. I watched it. I remember I watched this with my grandfather. So it brings back yeah that's funny everybody says it brings back memories you go what are the memories no it's just a memory i watched i remember i watched this with my grandfather
so it brings back one memory you go yeah i remember him so that's the bringing back memories
yeah i can watch old tv shows from like the 80s and i remember watching it with my dad and him
laughing about certain scenes and it still brings joy to me now yeah yeah that's pretty yeah that's
cool i think you should say that though it's a memories that's me now yeah yeah that's pretty cool yeah that's cool i think
you should say that though it's memories that's a little not like that's a more pleasant thing to
hear yeah it brings back memories you're like all right who cares well my dad the way he laughed at
the shows well that's beautiful well we didn't watch westerns together but that's why i said
that but cop you watched cop stuff me and my dad yeah i I watched a little Chips Yeah Andy Griffith
Watched a little Coach
Andy Griffith we watched as a family
That brings back a lot of memories
What were those memories?
Idiot
Yeah
Just clapping
Idiot
Idiot
Liam
Unra
Unra.
Unra.
Aaron?
Hey.
Is that correct?
I'll call him Liam U.
Liam U.
Unra.
I bet it's Unra.
Unreal.
Liam Unra.
Yeah.
Unra.
Unbelievable.
You think it's Liam Unra?
You think the sentence is about to keep going?
They go, I'm Liam Unra. Oh, that's it? Yeah, that was it. Unra what? Unruh? You think the sentence is about to keep going? They go, I'm Liam Unruh.
Oh, that's it?
Yeah, that was it.
Unruh what?
Unruh what?
Yeah.
Unresolved.
Yeah.
Unruh.
Unruh to get out of here.
Hey, Nate, Aaron in bed rest.
Love the podcast.
It gets me through work every day.
My dad and I almost saw Nate at the Rhyme in October. We flew out from Winnipeg only to find that tickets were all sold out. So we sat on
the curb and watched
enviously.
Enviously? Enviously.
It's a new word.
My God.
What do you say when it happens?
Now the word's
in your database. Now it's in there.
Yeah, enviously. Yeah, what is it when someone and I'm...
Much like when we confer with new words,
it seems trying to sound...
He never gave it a term.
Yeah.
No, but I like the way he said it.
Confronted.
Yeah.
So I was confronted with,
whoa, you get into a sentence and you go,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where'd this sentence come from?
Watched in...
Jealous of all the people heading into theater for some laughs,
wishing there was some way to sneak in.
Can't wait till you guys come up to Winnipeg.
Keep it up.
Yes, Liam, I'll be at Winnipeg.
I hate that you came all the way down there. That's crazy.
When he said that, you hadn't even announced those Canada shows.
And now we are.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I think jealous is actually the correct term instead of envious.
Oh.
What's the difference?
Yeah.
Envious would be like-
That explains why Liam came to a sold-out show and couldn't get in.
We're not smart enough to-
Sorry, Liam.
I'm telling you.
You know what?
Dad gum it, Liam.
All right.
I'll meet Liam.
We're going to meet Liam when you come to the show.
Just email the podcast.
I thought envious would be like
if you were jealous,
envious of someone
going to any comedy show.
Jealous is specifically Nate's show.
Well, I've never heard
that distinction before.
You might be right.
There you go.
All right.
What you missed, Liam?
Bunch of that on stage for...
Trey, if you're trying
to get your fiancee
to watch this podcast fast
forward to that time yeah if liam he writes back we're gonna meet him in winnipeg i mean he said
outside the whole show yeah let's go let's go meet whoever he's with uh chris g nate my wife
wants me to get my hair cut like yours i've asked for the bargetti cut but the person cutting my
hair doesn't have a clue what that is.
I saw an old tweet where your hair looked like Faith Hill, but I'm guessing she wants to look more like your 2022 style.
Does the haircut have a name?
Well, there's Faith.
That looks like me.
Yeah, I like Faith's hair.
She has good ears.
She does.
Mm-hmm.
Does your haircut have a name?
No.
Eric, once I...
I mean, I've been working out with him,
so I'll figure out what to...
We'll make it the Borghese.
Call it the Nate.
I don't know what it is.
It's, you know what it is.
It's, you know, what is it?
It's like short here, and then it fades up.
So I go, shh. I mean, it's not cut right now, but it would be like a fade.
So it's like, and then my beard will be like, there's not much here.
And then it fades up, and I have it faded up pretty high.
And I have a cowlick.
I was licked by a cow at a young boy.
And so I have a cowlick right there licked by a cow at a young boy and so i have a cowlick right there so i have to always go that way yeah have we ever done a cowlick thing no i was yeah i would say they get a cowlick i go
yeah i got licked by a cow when i was a kid can't get away from it joe so chris just show
just show your barber that video just show him that video or see if your wife wants like mine
keeps
yeah
if you're like Brian get keeps
yeah what's your haircut what do you do
you go just hang on
guys don't touch it
nobody touch it
whoa whoa whoa
easy
it's everybody's
real easy
what are you doing dude
yeah
you can have some fun
down low
but that's up top
let's
let's get tighter
they put police tape
around it
you have two different
people cut your hair
you let a beginner
do the bottom
and then you fly in
a guy for the top
that's go easy
Stan come on in here You let a beginner do the bottom, and then you fly in a guy for the top. Let's go easy.
Stan, come on in here.
Joshua Brubaker.
I feel like I've seen the last name Brubaker before.
Was stoked to see Nate and crew discovering Buc-ee's.
Our two girls went to their first Buc-ee's in January, and there was sensory overload for sure.
My wife wants to know
what souvenir nate brought harper oh a sweatshirt
brought yeah i read it yeah like i was i was definitely confronted by
laura put the answer in there for me yeah and highlighted it. Laura highlighted sweatshirt.
You're like, oh,
sweatshirt. Yeah.
Just in case I, because I'd be like, I don't know what I bought. Yeah.
Yeah, we brought, we got her
the sweatshirt, apparently a big deal
for these kids to wear. So we got her one.
Someone said that Buc-ee's
is being built in Crossville.
Crossville, not Cookville. Same thing.
Cumberland County, not Putnam County.
Yeah.
Come on, dude.
Aaron went to Notre Dame.
Christopher Stanley.
Nathaniel mentioned that he has done away with mic stands.
Was this before or after the shows in Vegas in December?
I remember him saying goodnight
and walking right into the mic stand on his way out.
That is hilarious.
I did do that.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt
and figured it was a tribute to his dad
who opened that night in the old clown days.
On that subject, though,
can any of the three gents tell any stories
about any embarrassing things that have happened
while you were on stage?
A trip, a fall, a wardrobe malfunction, et cetera.
You guys are literally the greatest.
Thank you, Christopher.
Yeah, that night, that was pretty embarrassing. I mean, I had the mic set there, and I think I already started not using the mic, and then we went back to the mic stand just because my dad
and Nick were there, and so I kind of forgot about me moving it. And so I just turned and I walked right into it.
So that, I mean, that was kind of embarrassing.
I mean, that's, you know, gracefully as people will give you this big applause and you're like, I did it.
And you just sat by there, like walking into a rake.
And you're just like, oh.
That, I think I talked about it recently.
I had to sneeze.
Oh, yeah.
That was, that's not great. I've to sneeze. Oh, yeah. That's not great.
I've had my zipper down.
I check it so much now, but I've had that.
My haircut in the Comedy Central special, we talked about that.
Oh, yeah.
Huh?
We did talk about it.
The Lego hair, people call it?
Yeah.
No, no, but the hair mess up in it.
Oh, right, between takes.
Between takes. people call it yeah no no but the hair mess up in it oh right between takes between if you go look
at it one i have one side that swoops down on the left side there's a big swoop and then other jokes
it's not and my hair was different in both shows so it cuts back and forth so i mean some people
have noticed it not everybody's noticed it but those are mine i mentioned the my shoestring being
untied on stage.
And the whole time, I'm like, nobody's going to notice this.
And I think that's all everyone was focused on.
Oh, yeah.
That's all that was noticed.
Yeah.
That'd be tough to get over.
Some reason I had-
Did you address it?
No.
I mean, I really just thought the angle, like up on stage.
I mean, I know up high, they're higher than I am,
but I thought they're so far away, they won't notice it.
And then the people on the floor, I thought, I'm higher than they are.
I don't think they can see it.
That's all they see.
Yeah.
I would have to address it.
I mean, if I ever spilled, I mean, I've spilled water on me before,
and I'll have to be like, I didn't pee in my pants.
I'm going to walk out.
That's the first thing I'll say.
If I have something wrong, I'm going to.
Yeah, you got to.
There's no way for me not to say it.
You got to.
Yeah.
Well, I'm a real hack, so I use voices,
and I use the mic stand a lot as a prop for a joke.
So I've broken a couple mic stands in the middle of the show.
What are you doing?
And one time I dropped it into the crowd,
and it landed on somebody's table.
What are you doing?
Are you serious? I'm trying to survive up there, dude. Yeah. I'm doing everything I can. You use the mic that much? time i dropped it into the crowd and it landed on somebody's table what are you doing are you
serious trying to survive up there dude yeah i'm doing everything i can use the mic that much
the mic stand use the mic stand that much you used enough that you dropped it in the front i was
tilt that i lost control tipped over what is not getting across with your jokes what are you not
are you not describing them good
enough that you gotta no i need the visual dude yeah you gotta be like so i'm walking with this
lady all right so me and my wife crowd she's mic standing right everybody can see it so here we go
and then i turn and i bump into it and then you knock it into the crowd it hits the table
yeah it's only once you use the stool i don Yeah. That's only once. Do you use the stool?
I don't use the stool much.
No, I don't use the stool.
What about the xylophone sound effect?
That's just with the mic.
I know, but don't you have on your iPhone?
That's what I'm saying.
I'm juggling a lot of props up there.
You got a lot of stuff up there.
But does it always work?
A lot of water bottles.
I'm doing that.
You're the opposite of everybody that leaves stuff in the green room.
You take it all off.
I take my backpack out there.
I set that down.
You're walking out there with a lot of stuff.
Carrot top.
Yeah.
Take my wallet.
I spent the first five minutes getting everything out of my pocket.
Yeah.
Put it on that stool like John Cena.
So when you go do theaters, they're going, do you want a mic stand?
You're like, oh, yeah.
I mean, that's the reason I'm doing theaters.
Have a couple of backups.
That's what got me here.
I would always, they have two like i remember my agent my old college uh when i do colleges my
writer said to have two stools ever said that and so they would and so they'd always have two stools
on stage and i would just go and i don't even you get writers i think i've talked about this but you
get them from like just old different acts and whatever yeah and then you're like why do i have
two stool and i just would I have two stools?
And I just would always have two stools.
I'm like, I don't even, I mean, I just use a stool to,
you set your water down there.
I borderline don't even need one.
And then you're, but then now I've got two of them,
and I don't use them.
I realize sometimes they're used if someone sits on a stool
and they have their water on one stool.
But I'm not using either stool.
So then you're like, this guy just looks like he's like,
I'd like a couple stools out there if you don't mind.
When you don't touch them, everybody's like,
why would you have all those?
I'd just like to be out there with a couple stools.
Yeah.
Spread them out.
Yeah.
Let them wander.
It's like Chekhov's gun.
You know what that is?
Mm-mm.
Okay.
No one knows what that is.
You know what Chekhov's's like a it's a theory and
filmmaking no it's if you show something you have to use it for something you can't just be there
then it's distracting because you're wondering what are they going to use that for the whole
time if you got just an empty why is it called checkoff i think checkoff was the guy who did it
and he never used a gun i think there was something with a gun alec baldwin alec baldwin's gun yeah it's a
dramatic principle that suggests that details within a story or play will contribute to the
overall narrative so overall narrative so if there's a there's an empty stool there i'm gonna
be sitting there thinking he's gonna use that for something yeah and it'll disappoint me when you don't. Yeah, okay.
Kate Hudson.
Oh, Katie Hudson.
Oh.
I saw Nate's best friend forever, Jay Cutler, at the Salt Lake Airport.
Even being a huge Bear fans growing up, all I wanted to say to him was,
I love you on Nate land.
I refrained because he was there with his three kids,
wondering what your take is on being approached while you are with your family.
I think Jay's a reasonable person.
That's my joke.
Jay would have bitten your head off.
I don't talk to Jay when he's near me.
No, I think Jay would have been.
I have no idea how Jay handles that.
Jay's famous where you're like, this happens all the time.
I've had people come up when i've been with my family like but i don't it's it's not enough that i don't think i've had it enough where i'm like you know i like the old like it's like you you know the reason i even
we're probably getting to be on that trip is because you watch my stuff yeah so i'm always
super appreciative uh of it you know i mean i get like if you're with your family, it's like, yeah, don't, it's like, I don't want you
to, you maybe don't be as aggressive
as if I was alone.
But it's like saying a hi or something
like, I don't mind. I have, sometimes they
want a picture and they'll be like, oh, Harper can be in the
picture. And there's some of that where you're like, oh, she doesn't need to be in the picture.
Like, I'll just take it with you. And I don't
know if there's any real reason for
why I want that or not.
But it's just almost like, there's no reason to drag her in this picture.
Or like Laura, sometimes Laura doesn't, we're in the airport.
She doesn't want to be in the picture.
Right.
I'll take pictures all day.
I'll take them of your family as you walk.
I'll take just me, your family, and we all leave.
I'll go ride with your family.
Stuart Oler.
Nate, my fiancé.
I go ride with your family.
Stuart Oler.
Nate, my fiancé.
My fiancé and I watched a new Netflix special.
We need to know what kind of your mom's pants did your dad wear to that funeral?
Who wore them better in your opinion?
So this is also highlighted.
Walmart white stag.
I don't know what that means. I don't either. They wore, oh, Walmart white stag. I don't know what that means.
I don't either.
They wore, oh, Walmart white stag pants is the pants my dad wore.
So my mom had, my mom buys her pants at Walmart.
They look like comfortable pants. I get it.
I would wear them.
Yeah.
We shop at Walmart.
We buy our clothes in just bags just bags this is what is the winter
collection just a walk out it's all the same size that's how dan soda bought his levi's
that's the best we walk into walmart in bulk right he bought them in bulk we're in the middle
of fitzberg or somewhere just at a walmart and he goes, give him some jeans. Bought six of them. They were like wrapped all together.
He's like, yeah, this is good.
This is how I wear my jeans.
Yeah, Walmart white stack.
Jeremy Donovan, on a previous podcast,
you talked about golf etiquette
and people staring down the ball in mid-flight for too long.
I'm an avid golfer and completely agree.
However, I had one situation where I should have, but didn't. On a par three, I hit the hosel of my
iron and the ball went out of bounds. I teed up another ball and struck it well. I immediately
turned away out of frustration, but also because I thought it would be rude to stare down a third
shot on a par three to see where my soon-to-be bogey putt would land. As I walked to the car, I heard my friend's shot in celebration.
As my ball fell into the cup for the best par of my life,
to this day my friends make fun of me for not seeing it go in.
Would you have watched a shot in that situation or turned down
and pouted the way I did it?
I understand the situation that you were in.
I think you handled it.
You handled it a better way.
I'd rather you be you missing it than you be you watching it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because then if you would have watched it,
it's like you watch it for the reason.
And if someone wants to watch, like I get wanting to watch their shot.
It's not long.
There's just a few extra seconds.
But it's like just get your tea, and as you watch it,
you just kind of walk off.
Like that let the other person start teeing up. Just stand there the whole time. Yeah, it's like it's when T, and as you watch it, you just kind of walk off. Like that let the other person start T-ing up.
Just stand there the whole time.
Yeah, it's when they stand there the whole time.
And then he turned your foot.
Yeah, and then they turn their foot.
Then they got to get their T.
That's my joke as always.
I know he turns his foot.
But when someone does it, I'm like, you got everything?
You got your keys, wallet?
It looks like they're just being like, do I have everything before I get out of here?
So it's like you just grab it and just kind of walk off.
But, yeah, I think you would, as you hit it, I think I would do what you did.
I'd maybe be watching it as I walked to the cart.
Like, you know, maybe walk a little slow if it's like, man, that's a good, it's right on line.
But it's even better you know jeremy i
like that you are you so there you go uh all right everybody uh we are here with uh dusty slay
uh he uh has uh he's on the stand-ups the uh the new season season three uh people been talking
about it people been your part, you killed it.
Well, I'm pumped.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
We're having a good time.
And I, yeah, people have been talking about it on Twitter,
but I don't know, you know, I don't know how anything's doing.
Have you done road stuff?
I don't think so.
Have you been on the road?
Oh, I've been on the road, yeah.
I didn't know if that was a thing.
Has anybody come?
Yeah, I'm like, have you, you haven't done road,
I'm like, you're just going nowhere. Oh, you haven't done road stuff yet? Oh, I've been on the road, yeah. I didn't know if that was a thing. Has anybody come? Yeah, I'm like, you haven't done road? I'm like, you're just going nowhere.
Yeah.
Oh, you haven't done road stuff yet?
Yeah.
Oh, you've got a long way to go.
So have you seen people come out?
Yeah.
I mean, I did Denver the weekend it came out.
Yeah.
And I don't know.
People were like, I don't really do Denver.
So people were like, oh, this is great for a Wednesday.
And so I was like.
Oh, yeah.
Denver's a great comedy town.
Yeah.
And that's, yeah.
And then I did Brea, California.
A bunch of people came.
And that was.
Improv?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I did Raleigh Improv.
And way more people came than the last time I was there.
So.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did a show last night at Zany's.
Sold out.
Yeah.
Sold out last night at Zany's.
Wow.
You did?
Yeah.
Oh, wow. and the ovation
feels different now when you walk out right it does feel different before i mean i got used to
like being able to do a real weird show because it felt like a lot of people were there but
that maybe they didn't know why they were there and i got to go out and be weird and but last
night there was no room for weirdness yeah and they were ready to laugh you yeah you like you almost like you missed the weirdness yeah i was like at certain points i
was like i've done that joke before and it's not gotten that kind of laugh yeah so i'm like i don't
know do you think it's funny or are you just pumped to be here yeah it's a mix of that it's a it's a
pump to be there but they have expectations yeah and so but that's where your job comes in to know
like you got to go all right i gotta you want to exceed their expectations
right and you got to be aware of it because then you can tell if you're like because i think that's
this is you're at a spot where it's like it can go two ways you can either just ride the crowd
that's laughing at you and no matter what they're, they like you and they're happy to be there.
And then you don't get better as a comic.
Or, which I think you're this comic, you're aware of it.
The fact that you're aware of that is you go like, well, let me make,
because you know what's good and what feels weird.
Yeah.
And I had a joke where I'm talking about a guy trying to give me popcorn at a show.
And it kind of died off at the place it normally dies off. So I like okay yeah they're with me but they're like listen that wasn't we're
not gonna go yeah yeah i'm not gonna get in the van all right you know like i'll walk up to it i'll
i'll see what you're selling but yeah now that you're on tv we'll check the van out yeah yeah
yeah uh well it's great dude that's awesome you very funny. You deserve it all, earned it all.
And it's, yeah, the ride begins, dude.
It's great.
Well, I appreciate it.
You know, they told me that you recommended me for JFL years ago.
Well, I'm the only reason you're there.
Yeah, exactly.
So don't ever forget that.
Exactly.
You know?
Yeah.
There's also possibly tornado, and you seem nervous about that.
Well, I'm fine with it.
I grew up in a trailer.
Now I live in a house.
I feel very safe.
But my wife grew up in Canada and they don't have tornadoes.
That's true.
So she's like, I don't know what this is all about.
Yeah, yeah.
And the first year we lived in the house in Hermitage, a tornado came through, tore up
lots of things.
We just had some wind recently that tore up my canopy in the backyard.
Yeah.
So wind is terrifying to hurt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get that.
Hermitage gets, you know, Old Hickory Hermitage is where I grew up.
Yeah.
And so it's, we get hit.
We get hit.
Yeah.
Tornadoes just are drawn to it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Floods, tornadoes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
High school's been flooded.
High school's been, do you have to say about tornado?
Yeah.
I grew up in a trailer.
My brother's school, all over the country.
Yeah.
And we weren't this afraid of wind.
Yeah.
I mean, it was a real threat to us back then.
But now I look out the back window and the tree is going like this.
And I'm like, I don't know what's happening out here.
This is Tennessee wind.
I grew up in Alabama.
You know, it's different.
Yeah, we bring the heat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. We're here. Yeah, we bring the heat. Yeah.
We flex a little bit.
Well, this week we're going to talk about dinosaurs,
and you know a lot about dinosaurs.
Well, I'm into the conversation.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's a great way to put it.
Yeah, I hope you don't believe in them or something.
Like that's, you know, we don't know. I've got some thoughts, some thoughts yeah all right let's don't get ahead of ourselves it's so fun yeah did you guys growing up were you into dinosaurs played yeah yeah yeah yeah i played
yeah yeah i loved uh i mean drastic park is my favorite one of my favorite stream and dress
park was one of my favorite movies. I loved it.
Like they got the new one
coming out.
I know I talk about new movies,
but I'm like a hypocrite
that I'm also fine with it.
If it's my movie
that I want to see,
I'm like,
well, they should do it again.
But it's the other one.
I think it's supposed
to be the final one.
I know.
That was like kind of,
yeah, I loved Jurassic Park.
There's just no movies like that.
Like, you know.
Jurassic Park was great.
When I was a kid,
they had us out
digging around outside of the school. They were like like we found out there's dinosaur bones out there
we were digging we found them oh wow it was like this is so great yeah was it i'm i'm well i don't
believe that they were it's probably chicken bones that we had for lunch yeah yeah just the school
it's a small school that just throws them out there. Yeah, that school's been there for a while.
Yeah, yeah.
So, but it was, you know, and I love Jurassic Park.
I loved, you know, I love, they started talking about all these different periods of dinosaurs.
So then the names changed.
Like I was in with the brontosaurus and the stegosaurus, triceratops, brontosaurus. And then they were like, there was a whole different line of them.
Yeah.
And then they're telling us multiple meteors came in and destroyed the earth many times.
And then these dinosaurs just kept coming back.
And I'm just not sure I can get into it.
Yeah.
You're getting way ahead of me here, Dusty.
Okay.
All right.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Okay.
I was going to try to start off normal.
It's like a movie that starts, it just starts with the final scene.
And then it's like, well that starts with the final scene.
Then it goes five years later.
Five years earlier. They do a flashback.
Well, I'm ready to believe that anything I believed as a kid
is not true. When I was a kid
and we studied dinosaurs, we learned
that some dinosaurs were so big
they had two brains. One in their
head and one in their butt.
Did you guys ever hear that?
That was way back then.
That was not true.
They've totally indicated that now.
That's crazy.
Who told you that?
Tennessee Public Schools.
Oh, man.
I mean, if you Google.
This makes your case for even if these dinosaurs would be questioning it.
You're like, yeah.
I mean, that's crazy.
If you Google that, they thought they had two brains because they're just too big.
They were too big.
They're like, well, how's it going to talk to the other one?
Yeah, it was like they were so big they needed a brain back there to navigate the tail.
Contrary to a popular myth, the Stegosaurus did not have a butt brain.
Yeah.
Wow, that's really in there, huh?
You can Google that.
That's what we were learning back in my day.
Double dinosaur brain myth.
I mean, what?
Yeah. I mean, what? Yeah.
I mean, what did y'all think of a giraffe?
They were like, well, there's controversy.
I mean, your school would be, we don't talk about giraffes because we don't know for sure.
But we know for sure brontosaurus had the giraffes.
The old butt brain.
Yeah.
I've been called a butt brain a few times as a kid.
If you see an animal's butt really I'm really moving, you're like,
this guy.
It's got a mind of its own.
Yeah, it's got a mind of its own.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Good night.
It's got a mind of its own right there, man.
You just calm it down.
Tail comic.
Can't sleep at night.
The top part of you is asleep.
The bottom is just kicking the covers.
Everything's going crazy.
And you go, I just, i don't know dude i had set on some sugar and i guess i can't get it well people just come up with
these things right and then they go why do you why do you believe that and they go well he's a
scientist yeah and then they go oh okay well that that makes sense but we don't still don't know
where that comes from yeah did they maybe it was the prostate yeah it was a hole for a giant prostate back there i think it was just probably like i look at a lot of stuff always
like a scientist no matter what they're just going to get like it's a long day and then they're like
well how do they move their legs and the guy's like there's another brain down there and they
go oh is there he goes yeah i don't you know and he's just like yeah i gotta get out of here like
i'm you know and then it's just and then they move on and then that just gets ran with i think really
rich people go to the scientists and go they go how many brains are in there and the guy's like
one and the guy's like well i'll give you a lot of money if you say there's two and he's like okay
there's two yeah i want to keep being a scientist yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, they lived on every continent.
And the way they got there, because I think we've talked about this before, used to be one big supercontinent.
Oh, yeah.
Pangea.
Pangea.
I saw a Super Bowl commercial.
Morgan Freeman was talking about Pangea.
And it was just one big blob.
And they all lived there.
And then over millions of years, the continent spread out and went apart.
But they were all on.
I'm not against the Pangea idea.
Yeah?
Yeah.
It fits pretty good.
I don't know if you're asking for things along the way.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like it.
I'm not against it.
I like a little heads up if you're on board or not on board.
I'm way down with that.
Yeah, I'm not against that idea.
Yeah.
I mean, who knows what's happening?
Yeah, yeah.
It looks like it fits.
We don't know a lot about the ocean. Yeah's true yeah they're like they're always trying to
go to space and i'm like let's try to see what's in the ocean yeah it's right here let's maybe yeah
maybe don't leave the planet until we figure out what we got going on we have uh just the uh the
guy from titanic he's the only one trying what's james cameron oh yeah you're like can we get
someone besides james cam Cameron down there maybe?
Yeah.
Could we send a scientist down?
Could we send a doctor or something?
I don't even know doctor, but I would send a doctor.
Marine biologist? Could we get a doctor down there?
ER doctor.
Just everybody.
That's the only thing I can think of that's smart.
Could we get a doctor to come in?
Maybe he roams around down there a little bit.
They used to do that.
Yeah, he's a smart dude.
Then we get a doctor
and a lawyer
to go down there.
We just throw them down there
and they...
An accountant.
Throw them.
And they talk about
some stuff down there.
Now we're going
with James Cameron.
All right, all right.
He made Titanic.
I get it.
An avatar.
The show last night we did,
Dusty from the Green Room,
Dusty's set of other comics.
Aren't you a lawyer?
And the guy goes, dude, I'm 22.
Yeah.
And yeah, I was like, I don't know.
I saw that on the internet, I guess, this guy.
I was like, you're 22?
You look 45.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks like a lawyer.
It's been through.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how old anyone is.
He looks like the lawyer that was defending dinosaurs that they're proving.
Like he goes, no, they were defending dinosaurs that they're proving like he's
goes no they were real and you're it's like i don't know all right birds are direct descendants
of dinosaurs there's a line of dinosaurs that became birds in fact when i google what's the
smallest dinosaur ever said the hummingbird yeah that's like annoying yeah i don't buy that at all
yeah that's it that's like annoying when you're like all right you know what i mean dude like
yeah i mean dinosaurs yeah i mean dinosaurs and they're like yeah but they're related what
happened to the dinosaur oh they you know they turned into birds that's like you know like we're
all kind of related and like so that would be like you know anybody i see on tv you know i don't you
know they're like uh prince henry i'm like that that's my cousin. Oh, gosh. Yeah.
I go, what does he do next?
What did he do?
Like, I don't know anybody's name, but is it Prince Henry?
Is that somebody? I think there's one of them.
Yeah.
Prince Harry?
Yeah, Prince Harry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm just trying to think of it.
Do you see Meryl Streep?
Oh, it's my aunt.
What'd she do?
Like, just everybody.
Because technically, you're like, well, we're all kind of related.
Yeah.
And that's what I feel like when they say, well, Hummingbird's a dinosaur.
And you're like, well, you're annoying.
I had a guy email me yesterday and he said, hey, I just found you online.
I've been working on my family tree since 1995 and I just found out we're seventh cousins.
Yeah.
Never met this guy from Kansas.
So you're like, listen, I've not made a lot of money. Yeah. If that's what you're going to get to. Yeah. Never met this guy from Kansas. So you're like, listen, I've not made a lot of money.
Yeah.
If that's what you're going to get to.
Yeah.
If that's where you're going with this.
He's trying to fill in his family tree.
So I'm like, seventh cousins.
We're probably seventh cousins.
No.
So when I go to Utah, they have a family tree center.
And so Mormons, they know everybody.
But you can go there and enter your
family tree we've been doing it they have it online it's awesome and everybody's relate like
i mean you're just do it in the room you can do on your phone like anybody around me that's related
and i mean there's two people not related to me and then there was 15 that were so you're like
only the only two people not related to me like well're like, well, I guess I want to talk to them. How are they not related?
Everybody else is related.
Everybody's like cousins.
Walt Disney, everybody's got, eventually we all got the same kind of, there's a way to get back to everybody.
It's interesting.
Was it Bush and Obama, distant cousins?
I think all the presidents are related. Everyone. Yeah. Well, everyone's related eventually.
I mean, somebody, I don't know.
I just see things and I guess it's true.
Yeah.
But I just, the bird being a dinosaur, I just, I don't get how we, like, because weren't
dinosaurs reptiles?
Well.
And then suddenly they're like, oh, the scales turned into feathers over time.
No, now we think all dinosaurs had feathers.
Yeah, I was about to say.
You've not heard that?
You've not heard the new theory?
No.
The scientific advisor to Jurassic Park.
There are birds all along.
The scientific advisor to Jurassic Park told Steven Spielberg that T-Rex and the Velociraptor had feathers.
Oh.
So they're like a big, big rooster.
Yeah.
He was like, I don't care.
No beak, though.
Yeah.
Here's what the velociraptor probably looked like right there.
Yeah.
It's just a beak.
And they couldn't fly.
So they couldn't fly.
Some of them could fly, but not those guys.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I get that.
I'm saying this couldn't.
So having feathers is annoying. Yeah, if you can't fly with them that. I'm saying this couldn't. So, like, having feathers is annoying.
Yeah, if you can't fly with them.
Like, you can't go up in them.
What's the point?
It's just, like, every day is, like, dressed up.
Like a big ostrich.
Yeah, it looks like you're just going somewhere.
You're like, you got a dinner tonight?
You're like, no, it's just how I look every day.
Seems like they need to drug test the scientific community.
Well, T-Rex with feathers seemed even more crazy.
Yeah.
That is, like, science should be more fun where you're like, but we also don't know.
Like, they should say that every now and again.
Exactly.
Just to go, but it could change.
We're always looking.
Like, make it, like, fun.
Scientists debate whether dinosaurs were warm-blooded or cold-blooded.
They now may think they were a mixture of both.
They debate in a room.
I got a little bit of each blood, huh?
To go with the two brains.
Yeah.
One brain gets cold blood.
The other gets warm blood.
Yeah.
You got to swim like a duck when you put your head down and his butt sticks up in the air.
That's how they'd have to swim because the other one could handle it.
Yeah.
He just has to, he gives up and breathes.
And then he's like, his butt's like freezing.
And then he has to go back under.
And they get a good ways away.
So.
Well, what about the triceratops?
What did it look like with feathers?
Well, let's find out.
I don't, we're just going to do every dinosaur.
What would it look like with feathers?
Yeah, see, they haven't got around to drawing that yet. don't think every dinosaur they have it they're yeah they're like well we can't yeah
they go i don't listen some had feathers some had yeah some had scales yeah there's a lot going on
some had a mesh there you go here's the trust it's got a little little little cock flu yeah
in the back it looks like when you're like looks like when your child colors the thing wrong in a coloring book.
Yes.
Yeah.
And it looks like, yeah, it almost looks like you would be like, can we call it over?
Yeah.
Because the colors would, you know.
And then you would be like, golly, I wish you didn't have those enticing feathers.
So they lived on Earth for about 165 million years.
Oh.
And if you compress the time of the dinosaurs from when they started
until now into one 365-day year, they started on January 1st
and would have ended about the third week of september
humans would have come along on december 31st wow i so what's the point of that like just to
show how much longer they were on the earth than humans have been oh yeah they act like that's our
fault now like it's like right everybody complains you know like, hey, we're new here. You're like, we're here, though.
And they're not.
So, like, what do you want me to do?
Like, it's like we're doing what we can.
Quit making me feel bad.
Like, well, look at us.
We're the ones ruining it.
They got the earth blown up a hundred times.
Yes, several times.
Several times they were getting just destroyed by meteor.
Like, they walked around talking about climate change,
and they probably went through just all kinds of stuff.
So what happened?
They were just here for 165 million years, and then a meteor came,
and then, like, all of a sudden humans popped up?
Is that the idea that they were like, oh, well,
we'll try a different kind of species?
We come from hummingbirds.
Oh, yeah.
I think all of a sudden is relative.
I think it was a few million years. Well, it. I think all of a sudden is relative. The relative term.
I think it was a few million years.
Well, it seemed like it was just a few months later.
Yeah.
I mean, according to Brian, he just said that this is in one year.
Yeah, September 21st.
They were here for basically nine months, eight months,
and then we showed up the last half, and then we're the problem.
half and then we're the problem in fact um the uh stegosaurus and lived 80 million years before the t-rex so the t-rex is closer to us than it was to the stegosaurus so how did they never
just pop up they never met they never met yeah we have no well jurassic park i think
chose them together but i guess they remade those dinosaurs. Yeah, they remade them. But they,
see a Stegosaurus never even,
do you think T-Rex Stegosaurus?
Is that what it is?
I think that's a car.
Stegosaurus?
Stegosaurus.
Stegosaurus. Stegosaurus.
Why does the T-Rex get two names?
Stegosaurus.
Why does the T-Rex get two names?
Don't go to that Stegosaurus.
Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Yeah.
It's like it's got a first name and a last name.
Because they started, they go, because it's all kind of like X it ends with,
and then Tyrannosaurus, and they're like Tyrannosaurus X, X,
and then somebody just goes, well, we split it up.
Yeah.
And we're getting closer to humans, I guess.
Yeah.
They're building us up for that.
It's the Rex family.
How you doing?
It's my son Tyrannosaurus.
Actually, the T-Rex turned into the human.
This is my wife, Melanosaurus. That's what they say my wife and then she says going this is my daughter suzy oh hi suzy suzy rex oh pleasure to meet you
so uh they became extinct about 65 million years ago when uh now i always heard an asteroid you're
saying meteor i thought those were the same oh is
that yeah like that would be like oh yeah this is we're gonna draw the line in the sand now dusty
i don't know if i'm buying what you're saying we always thought as asteroid you say meteor uh where
do you get off yeah i had no idea those were different things borderline doesn't believe in
them but let's let's dive into the asteroid meteor yeah yeah i thought they were the same thing too
but i'm sure there's a difference yeah i think asteroid's a lot bigger yeah and you get
what we were saying though the idea of it well he had also i also wanted to ask him because you
talked about multiple meteors killing them i thought it was just one event that well it seems
like that you know they were they were some a group of them that was here and then they like
what happened to the stegosaurus? Yeah, it just went away.
How did it go?
Did it just get old age?
Yeah, just this one guy.
They said global warming was already happening during that period.
Oh, so we got nothing.
So we've been worrying about it, so we just think we're at the end of it right now?
There's been different periods.
Some scientists think even if the asteroid hadn't hit, they would have died out.
So the Stegosaurus had power plants?
Yeah.
So, yeah, why don't we blame the dinosaurs if they're not stopping?
They weren't thinking about it, and they got it, and now we're dealing with it.
Yeah, I've been told it's the cars.
Yeah.
And the airplanes, but now we're-
No, stegosaurus.
I always thought it was like one big hit, and then they were all dead, the asteroid hit.
Boom.
But what I read was it took over years because like soot and stuff.
It's a nuclear winter, right?
Yeah, nuclear winter.
Where was the soot coming from?
Well, when it crashed, it like up into the air.
Oh, okay.
And stuff like that.
So the idea is there's a huge, huge impact, right?
Yeah.
And then a lot of smoke and dirt and dust and everything goes up and then that.
Goes into outer space.
No, that goes up in our atmosphere and blocks the sun, so plants can't grow, and there's
a nuclear winter.
Just gets stuck there.
Now, some things lived.
It just gets stuck.
It can't go any further?
I think it can.
But it's like too much?
But it just blocks everything out.
So if they just wait it out-
Eventually, it's gone now.
Well, how does a spaceship get out?
It goes real fast.
It just goes.
The smoke, it can't.
But a spaceship just.
Well, the smoke eventually, but a spaceship goes like it's a point,
and it goes right through it.
It just stabs right through it.
It just stabs right through it.
So now the smoke can get out.
That's what they probably got.
We've been stabbing through it.
It just had to poke a hole in it.
Yeah.
That was where the moon thing was so important. Yeah important yeah problem solved because it was just like opening a window
like finally we got a crack and now the stuff can get out it eventually got out and that's the
problem with uh with the amazon guy jeff bezos his rocket was rounded that's why he couldn't get out
well he only went up that's like a loose where they go, we went to space, and it's like,
then they go just kind of high in the sky.
You can still see my house.
High, drop back down, and then everybody cheered for them.
Yeah, they're like, oh, we were in space.
You're like, eh.
So they leave to the astronauts.
Like, they're the ones that are way up there.
So they say that some, obviously some things live,
because there's still people here.
So the mammals, small mammals, they think lived.
They were able to survive because they didn't need as much food
and stuff like that.
So they eventually became what we are today.
They evolved into humans.
Yeah.
Dinosaurs died off.
Now there's a theory that.
So we lived through global warming.
So we shouldn't even be worried about it because we crushed it that first time
and now we're crushing it now.
In fact, we emerged from global warming.
The global warming crisis created us.
Created us.
So why don't we worship it a little bit?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think our attitude towards it's wrong,
and we should be trying to speed it up.
So I have to say, if that had to hit, we probably wouldn't have become
what we are because of the dinosaurs.
And the asteroid's the asteroids supposedly.
It's so funny to say that as a just imagine staying in a room,
you go and all that didn't hit.
We probably didn't.
The first guy that says that we probably wouldn't be here.
We're like,
Oh yeah.
Do you know that?
He goes,
probably.
Yeah.
I'm a scientist.
So over millions of years,
anything's possible.
Yeah.
You stretch it out long enough.
You can go,
Hey,
it took a long time.
Yeah.
This isn't like tomorrow.
It's millions of you
you're like there's a lot of like gray in that million yeah there's a lot of like what about
this period it goes it was you know you were like half one half the other that was like 10 years was
just like you know you have to just use your arms because you got fish legs you know they think
dolphins dolphins over a period of millions of years became
land animals. They went on the
land and they're like, nah, I don't like this. And they went
back to the water.
That's what they think. That's why they're so close to us.
That's why they swim near us.
That's why they're so smart. That's why they're smart and why
they're always kind of by the shore because they're like,
I used to do that.
I used to be up there.
They just look at a soda and they're like, God, if we would have just stayed.
I could have went to that McDonald's right.
It's right there.
But who knows?
Maybe there's a whole bunch of stuff under the ocean the dolphins know about.
And they're like, you know, it's better down here.
It might be.
Same.
The weather's probably the same.
Yeah.
No weather.
They go under there.
They got a real party going on.
No weather.
No tornadoes.
No tornadoes.
No global warming.
You don't have to worry about hurricanes. You just go down. go down i mean are they below they don't go that low right
i think it affects the water a little bit but no it's not i mean you go
what 10 feet down you're like hurricane just blows right over you yeah yeah you just let it go
shoot on by you're like yeah well the asteroid supposedly hit in Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula.
They think that's where it hit.
And they said if it had hit just a little bit earlier or a little bit later,
it would have been either in the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean.
Had Pangea already happened?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not like we have today, but it already started spreading out where there were oceans.
And if it hit in-
It started just growing.
The ground started growing.
Yeah.
It started spreading out it started because there's a mountain just starts popping but that would be it comes from the
bottom i guess the ocean yeah because the ocean's all land well used to be all ocean i think yeah
and then it starts rising up yeah and then the land just came out of the ocean? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Okay.
Like shake it.
All right.
So it was just ocean.
Yeah.
The land emerged.
Land emerged.
And then dinosaurs just started popping up.
Just boop, boop, boop, boop.
And they just started like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then they were around for a long time.
Longer than us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then a meteor came.
Six months.
Or an asteroid.
Asteroid. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, that a meteor came. Six months. Or an asteroid. Asteroid.
Bam, bam, bam.
And a lot of smoke happened.
Crazy.
Couldn't get out because no one's gone up.
Only the mammal survived.
Small mammal.
What about the reptiles?
We smoke cigarettes because we can handle ash.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm just trying to piece it together because this is-
I think we are.
I think it is pieced together.
Yeah, it seems very scientific, and I just- I mean, I don't know how piece it together. I think we are. I think it is pieced together. Yeah, it seems very scientific, and I just.
I mean, I don't know how you don't.
I know.
We just went through it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, if it had hit in the Pacific or the Atlantic Ocean just a few minutes either way,
it would have probably, some dinosaurs would have survived,
and they would still be flourishing.
Now, they think, just like humans have evolved over time, got smarter,
that the dinosaurs would also become like an elephant.
In 1982, a scientist for the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa
published a paper proposing an intelligent dinosauroid,
which might one day have evolved.
There's photos of this guy.
D-I-N-O-S.
Of the guy or the dinosaur?
Well, he's kind of half human, half dinosaur. Oh, the guy. Guy. Oh, you're showing me. I thought you were showing me a picture of the guy. D-I-N-O-S. Of the guy or the dinosaur? Well, he's kind of half human, half dinosaur.
Oh, the guy.
Guy.
Oh, you're showing me.
I thought you were
just showing me
a picture of the scientist.
Oh, this is like reptilians
that people talk about.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's him.
Eventually.
No, that's not him.
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R-O-I-D.
I think it's the guy
with the ball cap.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, reptilians.
Yeah, people always
talk about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's him.
That's what they're-
This guy?
Yeah.
Any of those
they think eventually dinosaurs would have evolved where they would have walked around yeah like
that looks like an alien kind of really stuck in the middle probably frustrating life you know
just to be kind of like i wish i made a choice yeah i wish i was one of the other this guy he's
like so could i ocean if i want my family to breathe underwater, could I go live in water right now?
And then, you know, I make Harper live in water,
and then Harper's kids will be able to breathe a little more underwater.
Like Kevin Costner.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Like eventually.
Eventually, you're going to be like.
It's going to take a few million years.
But in a few million years, those Bargettsies,
we have to go get everything for y'all when you drop them in a pool because we got a nice
little company built out for us
because I planned for
this. It's a long game.
It's a long game. I bet those dinosaurs wish they played that long
game.
You got to plan ahead. You got to plan ahead.
If you're going to survive global warming.
Take to the oceans.
I might as well start now.
Yeah, that's true.
Just have a Bargetzi family photo for every generation to the oceans. I might as well start now. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Just have a fat Bargatze family photo
for every generation
for millions of years.
How deep
until we got in the
shallow or in the water.
It's a picture of us
walking on the beach
until finally
Uncle Fred
was able to have
just the top of his head
show up.
He stayed on there
for quite a while.
Thanksgiving dinner,
have it right down there.
So,
scientists say
humans and dinosaurs
were about 65 million years apart
as far as when,
if they were here
at the same time.
However,
nearly every ancient civilization
has some sort of art
depicting giant...
Civilization.
Civilization.
Civilization.
Every civilization
has art
depicting giant reptilian creatures
and humans with dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Now, we didn't find dinosaur bones until the 1800s.
So then the question is.
We probably weren't looking.
Yeah.
So all of those civilizations are wrong then is what the scientists are saying.
Well, when was the shovel made?
The year before the dinosaur bones were found?
I mean, I bet it's the same time period, I would say, shovel.
Like a good shovel.
I'm guessing we had some form of a shovel.
I'm saying a good shovel.
Like what's the difference between a shovel and a spoon, really?
What makes a shovel a shovel?
Yes, you're right.
So a spoon, though, you ain't going to get no dinosaur bones.
When did we get a pretty decent shovel?
I bet the 1800s was like shovel
the shovel world blew up i think a wooden shovel was discovered it's been dated back to approximately
1750 bc so 50 years before 1800s and so
so
wonky donkey tools.
Nailed it.
That's what they called them back then.
Nailed it.
You didn't know which 1800s I'm talking about.
But that shovel's dumb.
You ain't going to dig down to find a dinosaur bone.
It's like made of fabrics.
1750 BC, were they really that deep, though?
Yeah.
There's still some time.
They were bright then.
Oh, I bet the floor was wet. Yeah, you're still stepping over them. It's been 65 million years, but. Still. There's still some time. They were bright. I bet the floor was wet.
Yeah, you're still stepping over them.
It's been 65 million years, but.
Still stepping over them at that point.
Well, the water and the land is still rising, so you're like, every day is just soggy socks.
And look at all these bones.
Yeah.
What?
They think it's weird that we're like, y'all went and searched them out.
They were everywhere.
I used to sit on, our kitchen table was a T-Rex was a stegosaurus.
There's some 33,000 figurines,
ceramic figurines found in Mexico that a cam Barrow figures,
a C A M B A R O.
And,
um,
there they are.
Um,
so if the dinos,
this is dinosaurs hadn't been bones hadn't been found yet,
they don't know how they knew how to make these, these old figurines.
Well, we made Spider-Man.
It's actually a good point.
They had imaginations back then.
But they seem to have such an imagination that they created the thing that we now say existed long before these people would have known about it.
Well, they probably looked it up on the internet.
They had their own internet.
Well, there is some debate about how old these are.
Some say 2500 BC and some say 1969.
It's a pretty big square.
They collected those from the moon then.
Yeah.
I would say 1969
that looks like 1969 there was some drugs involved yeah 2500 bc how would they they use and they're
still just that good so still see the groove well they can't just carbon date it i mean that's how
they're telling us that things are 165 million years old but they they're like, this could be 750,000 years old or, yeah, last week.
Well, they don't want to cut it open and see the rings.
Yeah.
Which one would you cut open if you had to?
Because one of them, you got to be like, well, it's not going to work.
I think I'd cut this guy at the neck right here.
Yeah, that's an elephant.
I would cut that one.
I would cut some of the tail off of one of those.
You could cut the tail off of one of the other ones.
Is that not a trunk?
That one looks like a horse.
I would get rid of the horse.
I would just say.
This one right here.
That one right in the middle.
I would say, give me the horse.
Let's dive into it.
If we lose this dumb horse, no one cares.
Or the tree stump next to the horse, maybe that's a...
Maybe that could be something, yeah.
I feel like those were made at a school and then just come up with an imagination.
One guy's like, I know a horse, I'll just do that.
I just think it's funny that we'll doubt these.
We go, no, I don't think these are that old.
But 165 million years old, we're like, well, that's got to be true.
That's got to be true.
Yeah, and an asteroid came.
This could be like a little kid in 2500 bc can you imagine they come now and like you wake
them up and they're like hi and you're like hey what's this he goes i don't know my daughter like
made it i stepped on it all the time it's a dumb toy and you're like we lots of people worship it
now so it's not a big deal though he goes no i no, I don't got it. Like our, our Walmart.
And you go,
okay.
Is that,
is that simple of an answer?
She made it a Bible school. Yeah.
You're like,
all right.
Cause when we have people traveling all over the world to pray to it,
but you're saying,
you're saying,
you're telling me right now,
it's just a,
you got it.
You went out to get some hay and you just grabbed it on the way home.
He goes,
yeah.
All right.
All right.
The Pauley river in Texas, P-A-U, P-A-L-U-X-Y,
became famous for its controversy in the 1930s
when they found dinosaur and human footprints side by side.
But scientists now say those human footprints were really dinosaur tracks
that had just changed over time.
Those were the beginnings of the evolution.
The feet came first.
Yeah.
You start evolving from the feet down.
I bet it all goes frontwards or backwards.
So it's like your toes, nose, and eventually you're like, golly.
And there's a moment.
Oh, it goes that way?
Yeah, it goes that way.
And then there's a moment of just like, you're like, you look rough.
A lot of back hair.
Yeah.
I mean, there's just probably 100 years of just like, oh, my goodness.
Look at these.
Just some of the ugliest people on earth.
Did you not buy those school photos that year?
Yeah.
You're just like, everybody's. everybody's photo still says photo on it.
And you're like, yeah, we didn't buy anything back then.
If you just catch it from the front, a good straight on, you don't want a profile pic back then.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
You could have turned around and then got the other half.
I like to think it was a thing moving.
So cryptozoology is the... Oh, they got into Bitcoin?
It's the study of animals whose existence has not been substantiated.
I don't even know what I know what most of those words were.
I don't know what the sentence means.
It means like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot.
Okay. I'm studying those. See? Scientists say that. Did you know what the sentence means. It means like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. Okay.
Yeah.
I'm studying those.
See?
Just say, scientists say that.
Did you know what that word meant?
Substantiated?
Yeah.
Oh.
You know?
You know?
Now, I could fake through a conversation with it, but.
You know.
Yeah, substantiated.
Y'all say it all the time, Christmas and stuff.
I took a cryptozoology class in college.
Oh, golly.
Here we go.
Here we go. we go dogecoin
fortune favors the brave fortune favors the brave
what did y'all study now we just talked about the pseudoscience and how to i don't know i feel like
i'm not a good advocate because you just don't y'all just use enough words then you you really
go it's just the blah blah pseudoscience what do you mean by that i mean you learn how to how to uh how to tell if something's
uh nonsense or not you know how do you do it yeah what's the line drawing because the line right
here is that a bunch of asteroids hit this earth and killed all these dinosaurs so where's the line
where you go that's don't be ridiculous well when the land grew yeah when the land grew i think it's just what do we
have evidence for what do we not have evidence yeah and there's a lot more evidence for dinosaurs
than say bigfoot or the loch ness monster well they have bigfoot hides their bodies that's right
that's why how was the loch ness not a dinosaur, though? It might be.
Some people would make that argument.
Well, I was about to get into that.
It's a prehistoric creature that just kind of hung around.
Yeah.
Because it was in the water, yeah.
Good water.
Ten feet down.
It was the one that had the foresight to stay in the water.
Yeah.
That day he goes, I'm going in.
Anybody?
And everybody goes, that's the dumbest.
He goes.
The velociraptor is like, no, dude.
He turns around one last time.
One last chance, guys.
One more chance.
You with me?
I can take one more of you in here.
And then I think it's too crowded otherwise.
All right, we're going.
And the others are like, I'll just turn into birds.
Yeah.
We'll soar through this thing. They were over there too busy.
They go, I think the new world is up.
Like, look, we have feathers.
So eventually we're going to go up and he but he knew yeah birds dolphins are humans that was the
that was your choice that's how you switch it up there was a scientist in uh hong kong in 1935
that was in a pharmacy and found a unusually large primate molar for sale. And he was asked about it and they started doing some research and it's,
they, it's now a species called Gigantopithecus, I guess.
A large hairy animal, much like a orangutan,
but was 10 feet tall and weighed 1200 pounds.
And they found bones from this and they think Bigfoot hunters think that that's
what Bigfoot is. Yeah. A hairy creature that may still live.
So we just built a whole thing around a tooth.
Yeah.
Well, I think they found more bones after that started.
Look at this big old tooth.
I bet I know what this is.
Yeah, I understand if you see one of these in the wild, you think that's Bigfoot.
You know, it looks exactly like what we think of Bigfoot being.
Yeah, why is that?
That would be Bigfoot.
Yeah, we would just call that Bigfoot.
Yeah, and wait, that thing, it used to be out there.
It's not out there no more?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Went extinct.
Yeah.
That's what they say.
How do they know this stuff goes extinct?
Do they just go, all right, I've looked everywhere?
Stop running into them, yeah.
Didn't they just discover the gorilla in the early 1900s?
Yeah, we talked about that on here.
Yeah, did we?
One of the gorillas.
I barely listened.
The Discovery episode.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, early.
They just found the gorilla, but they're like,
these other things are not real.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is funny because there's a moment if someone said,
I think there's gorillas, they would go, you're a lunatic.
Until pretty recently.
Yeah, they would burn you.
And then you're like, I told you.
They're like, we already started burning you.
So we're not going to stop.
But then we won't burn anymore past you.
But they probably didn't call it a gorilla.
And so then they were like, oh, no, it wasn't that thing we were talking about this is a gorilla yeah well i think it was one type of
like the lowland gorilla or something the lowland lowland oh sorry well marco polo the famous
explorer polo he's only known for that game i thought thought that was two people. I did think it was two people.
I thought it was two.
Marco, Polo.
You thought Marco and Polo were two different dudes?
Yeah.
Lewis and Clark, Marco and Polo.
I don't know.
I think I might have too.
I don't think I've heard it.
Marco, Polo.
They're just yelling each other's names back to each other?
Yeah.
That's the game?
That's how they explore.
I guess that makes as much sense as saying the first name and the last.
Well, they never found each other.
That's the point of the game.
They never, one of them got out of the water.
And that's against the rules.
That's all.
What is, all right, what's Marco?
He was the explorer.
Why is he just a game now that kids play?
Did he get lost in the water? Maybe. No. He was the explorer. Why is he just a game now that kids play?
Did he get lost in the water?
Maybe.
No.
I don't know where the game came from, but he was trying to find a new route to trade spices.
The Silk Road.
Yeah.
This is what he did.
I think we talked about him.
Yeah.
That's like the least fun.
Somebody goes, oh, Mark Poehler, that game. You go, no, he's like the guy that made the Silk Road.
And you're like, like a dinosaur town.
He's like, I got all these spices and nobody to buy them.
I want to know why the game is called that.
I'll look that up.
While you're looking that up, I'll tell you why I mentioned him.
He talked about on his journey, he kept journals,
and he talked about giant sea creatures that he encountered along the way
that he had to go around.
Oh, like in the water?
Yeah.
It was like it would be a well.
Well, the way he described them were like the Loch Ness Monster,
something like that.
They had a long neck, came out, and he was big-bodied, big-boned.
He's a big-boned gal.
Two brains.
Two egos.
Must have had two, three, four brains.
Now, keep in mind, we talked about Columbus thought that mermaids were, what, manatees?
Yeah, he thought manatees were mermaids.
Yeah, manatees were big.
He thought they were like-
Columbus.
Some big old ladies.
Have you heard that?
He's like, I've been out here too long.
He wrote this diary.
He was like, they're not as feminine as everyone said they were. They're a little more masculine than I'd like. They got, ladies. Yeah, he's like, I've been out here too long. He wrote this diary. He was like, they're not as feminine as everyone said they were.
They're a little more masculine than I'd like.
They got a mustache too, right?
But you got to do what you got to do.
Win in Rome.
So here's where they think the Marco Polo game came from
is one origin story.
This is kind of the legend of it is that while traveling to China one time,
he got separated from his family and they started yelling out.
They were trying to Marco and he just yelled back Polo and that's it.
That's how the game happened.
It seems like a confusing way to communicate.
Yeah.
I mean,
Dusty,
Slay.
I don't know.
You got a name for it.
Yeah.
Like I don't.
Nate. Farkante. And you're like, oh, Dusty Schley I don't know you got a name for it like I don't Nate
Farkase
and you're like
I don't know
yeah
that's
I mean
that's
how is that game
that's so funny
there's no way
the game came from
he's like
so we did that
as a family
and then I told it
on my podcast
and everybody
started playing it
I wrote it down
in my journal
said we should
play a game.
Marco Polo.
How boring was it when they came up with that game?
That was like the fun game.
That was the game.
We still play it now.
I played it today.
It was lunch break.
Yeah.
I play it every day.
The Marco Polo game is a great way for kids to build communication
skills two words at each other yeah that's all that's the communication you're learning how to
converse at a high level dude by going say the two words back and forth i guess in marco pillow
that doesn't make sense and go um the kids out there learning i guess gonna be one of those
brain boys.
Children must also learn how to keep their frustrations in check while trying to catch another player without the benefit of seeing them.
You're learning a lot.
It's a great game, dude.
Oh, yeah.
No, I mean, I'm fine with it.
I like it.
Is that it?
You're out of stuff?
No, no, no.
I'm getting close.
The Bible mentions some creatures that could be considered dinosaurs.
Leviathan was mentioned.
A large, fast-moving serpent, Leviathan, called a sea monster in the Bible.
Behemoth, Book of Job.
God talked about a behemoth that sounds much like a dinosaur.
God talked about a behemoth that sounds much like a dinosaur.
And some people think he was describing a hippo,
but he talked about his giant tail.
So they're like, well, hippos don't have giant tails.
Job described it.
Well, elephants too, tiny tails.
Yeah.
I think God was speaking to Job. Tiny tails.
Look at this behemoth.
Like God just said that to you.
He goes, Job, look at this over here.
He made everything. And God just goese come here come here look now look around the corner he goes what is that
he doesn't know that is the thing look at that behemoth you know what i mean and then joe's like
i think it's a hippo and he goes no, no. I think I would know, if anybody.
It says he made his tail stiff like a cedar, like a cedar tree.
So I don't think that would be a hippo.
Dusty, any thoughts on this?
I agree with it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, it says a tail like a cedar.
And then an elephant has a tail like a, like a.
Pig.
Yeah, like a pig, like a pit like a small they don't
have a pigtail they have a yeah it's like um yeah it's not like a cedar though i never i don't go
man look at that you're thinking about like a dog when you cut its tail off yeah and it's a little
nub like a snail pit bull thing like a snail yeah pit bull yeah gets a little a little just wiggles
just enough to let you know i'm still a dog. Like a phantom tail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm into it.
There's some celebrities that have come out.
There's also a dragon in the Bible.
I don't know if you're getting to that later, but I don't know where.
Yeah, don't jump ahead, Brian.
Are we getting there?
You got the dragon in there?
Is that the Apocrypha?
No, regular Bible.
You got to read the King James.
Right.
There's a dragon up in there.
That's where, okay.
Yeah.
I mean, he gets on.
What's it say about it?
Well, it just says it's out there.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
And then the Chinese Zodiac, they have all these animals, all real animals, and then a dragon.
Yeah.
And all these cultures love a dragon.
Yeah.
Why do they love a dragon?
Yeah.
If it just made up. Unless there was a dragon. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That all these cultures love a dragon. Yeah. Why do they love a dragon? Yeah. If it just made up.
Unless there was a dragon.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
And everybody's like, oh, that's crazy.
But we believe that a dinosaur turned into a hummingbird.
Yeah.
But a dragon, that's crazy, dude.
Get out of here.
We believe that dolphins came out of the water, became humans, and then said, nah.
Only Aaron believes that.
They become humans.
Yeah, they were out.
They started driving.
They had trouble with it.
They drove with both feet.
They go, this isn't for us.
And then the dolphin family started just like, they all moved to the beach. Then the next generation lived way steep in the water,
and they worked their way back into just finally.
And then when dolphin goes, there's always the first one that goes, I'm back.
Yeah, this land stuff's not for me, man.
It's not good.
Wouldn't there have to be a first one?
There's got to be one that's like when it goes out to land and back,
there has to be one that was like,
he,
you know, it's like,
he's like,
I don't know.
I just do better underwater.
Yeah.
Like he's like,
you know,
he's like,
everybody else is like,
you sure you don't want to be up here with us?
You know,
it's a wife going,
I mean,
we got invited to this dinner.
It's just,
it's up there on the sand.
And he goes,
I don't,
I don't think I'm them anymore.
I think I'm,
I'm supposed to be here. I don't fit in, them anymore. I think I'm supposed to be here.
I don't fit in.
Yeah, I'll come see them when they're in the boats.
I'll come up next to them.
Tell them I'm sick.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll follow them.
I don't want to mess around with them.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's the same with the evolution of man.
From chimps to heaps, somewhere along the way,
had to be the first one that kind of clicked.
You know what?
I'd like to walk more upright.
Yeah.
I'd like to get into that a little more.
Or it's the ones that were walking a little more upright,
they had a competitive advantage over the others.
And then those were the ones that got to breed,
and then those traits began to express themselves over time.
I don't know about the competitive edge, though.
I mean, have you ever fought a monkey?
Yeah. I mean, I've ever fought a monkey? Yeah.
I mean, I've not, but I've seen people fight monkeys.
You've seen people fight monkeys?
Well, on the internet.
We'll eat your face and your hands right up.
You don't think we have a competitive advantage over monkeys?
Well, just the pure travel aspect of it.
We can fly in planes.
I know.
We're killing it.
Technology-wise, we're doing well.
Well, there you go. But if it's just you and a monkey in this room, I don't know. I know. We're killing it. Technology-wise, we're doing well. Yeah. Well, there you go.
But if it's just you and a monkey in this room, I don't know.
I bet there was people.
No, yeah.
I agree with you.
I definitely agree.
You don't want to walk up on a monkey and then be alone,
and you're like, this is no good.
Yeah.
I understand that.
But I wonder if the families would be like the crooked backs
or looking at the straight backs and they're like,
oh, God, look who's coming in.
He hits his head on the top of the door on purpose.
Oh, sorry, my fault.
Been standing up straight too long and you're like, oh.
Yeah, maybe that's what caused the dolphins to go back in the water.
They were like, it's skidding.
How high are we going to go?
Yeah, these people have changed.
Yeah.
There was a couple of celebrities that have come out recently.
Well, celebrities may be a stretch.
Professional athletes.
How would you say celebrities?
I was trying to build it up, but I was like, well, I'm about to tell you who they are,
so I don't know why I'm going to...
J.J. Reddick, which I think we've talked about before, on his podcast, he said the word dinosaur didn't exist until 1842.
Then some guy comes up with the word dinosaur.
Then 15 to 20 years later, after he comes up, now we're finding all these fossils.
He's like, humans have been here for 10,000 years.
And now all of a sudden we're just finding all this stuff as soon as a guy comes up with it.
He's like, it just doesn't make sense to me.
I think it is funny though like a guy you're
like well you play basketball and stuff and you're on a podcast now so i wouldn't worry too much
about it like there is there's a mix of that like where you go yeah you know it's like well i just
don't i mean i like that he doesn't but it's just it is when you really think of this and you're
like well i just don't get it you're like yeah i don't think you're looking into it either like i think you're just like you're this breeze by subject is you know
what you think so like sometimes it's like yeah you're not really diving into it to really get
the real answers i have been in a museum um and then you'll see a dinosaur like built and then
it'll be like we found this bone yeah and then like the rest they made yeah and
they were like we found this big femur yeah and we were like i bet it looked like this yeah william
hayes nfl football player said i don't believe in dinosaurs existed not even a little bit with
these bones it's crazy because man has never seen a dinosaur but we know exactly how to put these
bones together we know every single where every single rib goes i believe there's more of a chance you'll find a mermaid than you will a dinosaur because we find different species in
the water all the time okay but if you know how to build your body i mean it's kind of the same
way where maybe they're not built like maybe we're doing it wrong what if we were like in the we can
see our body i know but we build the dinosaur like our body and then they come back and they're like
what are you doing and the brain they grab the brain put it in, and then they come back, and they're like, what are you doing? And their brain, they grab the brain, put it in the butt, and they go, there's nothing up there.
His brain was always down here.
This is where most of the work's being done.
Yeah, and then they're like, all this time, they're like, it was reptiles.
And now they're like, you know what?
I bet they had feathers.
Yeah.
That's where it's like, you're going to switch.
That's a pretty big switch.
Do you think dinosaurs were on the ark?
a pretty big switch do you do you think dinosaurs were on the ark i mean you know i mean there's a theory right that there's some reptiles out there that never stopped growing as long as they were
alive right so if the flood happened and things live longer prior to they would have just got
real big so you would just take small dinosaurs like an alligator you ever see these big alligators
on the golf course they find
in florida i mean that's like a dinosaur yeah yes that's what you think of it that's what you think
of that yeah they used to have feathers yeah right right right alligators used to have feathers and
they you know they couldn't fly so they got rid of them but yeah so noah just grabbed the alligators
was like these probably grow right he's I'll just take some small ones.
We'll only be on there for a year or so.
I think I saw one of those before.
I had a Sunday school teacher growing up.
I think it was our preacher who said he thought that God put dinosaur bones here to test our faith, to confuse us.
I don't believe that.
So you believe they were real?
Yeah, I mean, I believe there was something out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But.
Well, it's like everything is, but you're just like, yeah, it all changes.
You learn more and more and more and more.
Yeah.
I'm just like, it gets me when they're like, 165 million years ago, we know this happened.
But then we find these little figurines and they're like, we don't know.
They could have been built last week.
We don't know how old they are.
It's like, well, why not? You know what I what i mean let's crack one open let's give it a
check maybe it's because it's built out of rock or something like that you're saying because they
could figure out bones because they can find bones yeah yeah but you're like you can't tell
me when these things were built yeah they're like it could be any time, man. 84. Any of the 84s.
To 200,000.
Yeah, 84 BC, 184.
I would just go any of the 84s.
Well, I like this.
This feels good right here.
This feels like a big reveal.
Well, our intern Cole.
We brought the Unabomber came and he brought his.
Manifesto.
So you're like, you think they're real, huh?
Well, let me show you
a little something here, bud.
Come on out,
animals and scandals.
So Cole.
Cole, our intern,
brought these over
and these are some
dinosaur artifacts,
I guess.
It's funny because he
definitely doesn't believe
in dinosaurs.
That's why he has so much
hard time at school.
He goes,
he goes,
yeah, right. And then during his dinosaur class, he hard time at school. He goes, yeah, right.
And then during his dinosaur class, he walked around the other table and goes,
give me a break, right?
Cole, could you sit down, please?
Triobite, 300 million years old.
I wouldn't think you would just put it in a box,
but I guess there's plenty of these.
Morocco, Africa.
Wow, 300 million years old, huh?
Where did he get these?
It really takes you back.
I don't know.
He just has these?
Stole them, I guess.
It looks like a, yeah, a bug.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've seen that in my dad's pool.
Yeah.
I stepped on one.
Yeah.
I mean, 300 million years old. It is crazy to be like, and how am I touching pool. Yeah. I stepped on one. Yeah. I mean, 300 million years old.
It is crazy to be like,
and like,
how am I touching it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good rock.
Yeah.
I would build a house
out of that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Why would they not build houses
out of,
they should just go,
we should use this.
I think they are building it
out of.
Out of rock?
Out of stone.
Are we allowed to touch these
or is this,
what's it called?
It's glue dip.
Oh man. Trilobite nose eyes uh it looks like a terrible handwriting here is this only cool this is 20 dollars no we're selling this for 20 dollars so this one this
one looks like a rock and they just like if you stared at this one for a long time,
I would wait for the moment someone goes,
hey, that's – it's a regular rock.
Someone put it up there as a joke.
And that's what I think.
You'd go, oh, okay, sorry.
That's a lot of stuff.
Oh, I thought – yeah, you would be like, I guess I see it there.
Then someone goes, give it – that's a regular rock.
That's not a – that doesn't look like,
that doesn't have any,
I can't see it.
I picked up several
of these yesterday.
That is a fern fossil
found in Pennsylvania,
dated 320 million years.
Yeah.
How do they do that?
Carbon dating?
No real age on this one.
Yeah.
They count the lines.
This is,
you just needed one more
to put in the box
and get that in the yard.
That is a rock
I mean I truly believe
Cole just put a regular rock in here
Just to mess with us
He's testing our faith
In Cole
You got a piece of petrified wood here
From Arizona
You want to guess how old this is?
150 million years old
That's some good wood That is some solid wood yeah this
is cool that is good wood oh it's petrified
terror it's really afraid yeah petrified that's what happens when you get real scared yeah
so freeze up there's like we said one more jur Jurassic park coming out and then scientists think someday maybe they
could recreate the dinosaurs.
I hope so.
Not just like having Jurassic park where they got sat from a tree,
but yeah,
they can,
you know,
we talked about the woolly mammoth.
They think they can do that now.
Yeah.
But what'd you do?
Did you just get a T-Rex and just throw them out in the Yosemite park?
And now everybody's got to deal with that.
Well,
that was my question.
Do you guys think
if dinosaurs just roam free today
we could stop them?
We'd have to put them
in a controlled environment, dude.
We can't just let them loose.
Well, how would we do that even?
How we have these nature preserves
all over the country.
How do we catch them?
What do you mean catch them?
Well, you're putting them
so you're making them
and then you just put them in there.
Yeah, we drop them off.
Well, I'm saying if they got loose.
So you put them in a cage?
In a nature preserve? Oh, some kind of fenced in area not for t-rex what kind of fence you're going to get for like jurassic some kind of electrified fence dude and we'll shock them
if they try to jump out in jurassic park though well we've advanced so much since then they was
it was 93 well yeah this picture that you got they're still getting out in 2021. That's their 22.
That's where the movie's going.
Maybe we could bring them back mid-transition.
Yeah.
That's what I'd like.
This is from an Animorphs book, I'm pretty sure.
I'd like to see the middle guy in the overalls.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, this guy right here?
Yeah, yeah.
In the overalls, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
He's a farmhand.
Like he's still. That looks like he's still like that that
looks like his uh he's got his hand-me-down clothes and he goes no he's my brother used
to wear all these that's where the that's where all the that's why this dude right here his hair
yeah he goes why your sleeve's so big my older brother he had feathers and so they had to make
the sleeves big and i get all his hand-me-downs. And the other guy's like, well, my.
He goes, yeah, I got holes in my back because he had triangles
coming all up down his back.
So now when I put this shirt on, I'm always a little chilly.
Older brother.
Take that to Goodwill.
Yeah.
And the T-Rex, they were like, he died off.
There was no transition.
No, I guess he came to the Velociraptor.
Boy, T-Rex would have probably become the Velociraptor
because they look alike.
Oh, yeah.
And then the Velociraptor became that teenage boy.
What's the hawk there?
That just kind of flew in.
It was the hawk.
It got stuck.
Yeah, it kind of flew into the pig.
Did you ever read any of the Animorphs books?
Oh, yeah, a few times.
into the pit.
Did you ever read any of the Animorphs books?
Oh, yeah, a few times.
So the Animorphs books
is these kids develop
the ability to transform
into animals,
animals that they've touched.
Yeah.
And they could only
remain those animals
for a certain amount of time.
One of the characters,
I know nobody cares,
but one of the characters
in the book
stayed a hawk
or an eagle too long
and he just,
now he's just, that's what he is full time. He waited too long.
Oh, right now he's still an eagle.
He's still an eagle as we speak.
And he waited too long to transform back.
Wow.
So that's probably who that is.
My guess.
I haven't read the books in a while, but that's who I think.
Can you imagine what if you were in that mid-transformation,
and then you come back, and you're the velociraptor dinosaur.
And then like,
you're,
you've missed like two and now it's that kid.
And you're going,
what are y'all doing?
And he goes,
this is what everybody's doing now.
He goes,
where was I?
Like he went,
he just went to the wrong side of the Island.
He got lost over there and he comes back.
I, I didn't get a. No one told me about this.
We're going to come with something else.
Why does everybody have to change?
That is interesting too.
Why does everybody change versus some?
What do you mean?
I guess because you're saying the smarter ones then breed
and the other ones die off and then now there die off. And then now there's this.
Yeah.
It's natural selections.
Whatever gives you a competitive advantage in terms of breeding over time, then those characteristics will play out over time.
Then why am I still here?
Yeah.
You're the last.
Yeah.
The last link.
That means to present yourself as evidence against evolution.
I'm the biggest proof against evolution.
Well, you're the one that's kind of on the fence.
The stuff you've learned growing up, you're very much just on the line.
The two brains.
I would say you're the proof of evolution.
You'd go, yeah, yeah.
You're going, he's making progress. Have you ever met, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're going,
he's making progress.
Have you ever met Bates?
He goes,
I don't believe in evolution.
Let me introduce you to a guy.
Have you ever met Brian Bates?
I'll change your mind
real quick on that.
Well,
that didn't go quite
like I expected,
but it was fun.
What did you expect?
I thought we would
talk a little bit more
science and then
we'd eventually
science do you have stuff no no i mean it just it moved a faster pace than maybe i was yeah i
thought we i thought that was very sciencey yeah i felt yeah i mean we talked about and made fun
of science the whole time yeah pseudoscience who knows you know i guess it's up to your
interpretation whatever you find ridiculous it could be pseudoscience.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It was fun.
But I did learn something, though.
I learned that the hummingbird is a dinosaur.
It's a T-Rex.
And that's pretty interesting to me.
I don't think they'd be invited to the famed reunion of the T-Rex.
Oh, yeah.
But I think they would.
Seventh cousins.
Yeah, it would be like, are we supposed to be married or not?
I think the pterodactyl is the dragon.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
Pterodactyl is not a dinosaur.
I learned that.
Is it not?
How do you hold back on that information?
Yeah, yeah.
What was it?
A bird, I guess.
They're just switching that up on us, huh?
We don't know, dude.
Like all the dinosaurs turned into birds
turns out this one was a bird the whole time yeah there has to be something in science that's just
wrong because the guy was like i'm just not gonna believe in it like or like he's gonna be i'm gonna
just like that like pterodactyl one day he goes in and goes i just found i last night couldn't sleep
when the other living room, trying to be quiet.
Pterodactyl's a bird, not a dinosaur.
Long story short.
Well, you look that up to verify that that's true.
But if the other dinosaurs had feathers, then aren't they all birds?
Yeah.
All right, maybe it wasn't a bird, but already wasn't a dinosaur.
Neither birds nor bats.
Pterodactyls were their reptiles, close cousins of dinosaurs
who evolved on a separate branch of the reptile tree.
Why does it say pterosaur?
I think that this is the general term that includes pterodactyls.
That's why they kept changing the names.
Oh, it's a close cousin of the dinosaurs.
They were the first animals after insects to evolve, powered flight,
not just leaping or gliding, but flapping their wings to generate lift and travel through the air.
So they were really killing it.
Yeah.
That's a dragon.
I could be them.
Like that's if I could start living in the water.
You could be.
Someone had to start that for those guys.
There's some great, great, great grandfather that they should be like, we know how to fly because of him.
You know, people get hung up on the fire breathing thing,
but there's an insect that creates a little fire spark
that's alive right now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's a, yeah, there you go.
It's good to have for needle light.
Needle light.
Yeah, one of these.
Yeah, look at that guy.
Oh, wow. A bombard, a beetle. It's a beetle have for needle light. Yeah, one of these. Yeah, look at that guy. Oh, wow.
A bombard, a beetle.
It's a beetle that can breathe fire.
That's pretty crazy.
I think the great thing is the fact that, Dusty, you're here to say,
you're basically going like, hey, I don't believe in dinosaurs,
but I am going to sell the dragon thing pretty hard.
Yeah, I'm in on the dragon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in on the dragon. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm in on the dragon.
The dinosaurs is like,
let's talk about the dinosaurs,
but there's no way there wasn't a dragon.
Right.
Right.
So.
I'm in for the dinosaurs,
but I just,
I do think dinosaurs and humans live together.
Yeah.
But people are like,
oh,
they came along into the year.
And I think they were all together at the same time i think
there was one human like all right we're good and when they all died he goes come on and then a
bunch of humans ran out come on out guys yep yeah yeah yeah we've been hiding in caves waiting on
these things to die yeah now they're dead let dead. Let's have a party. Yeah.
Let's start our own little global warming. It's very cloudy today.
You're like, eventually it'll clear up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Once we put a rocket through that thing, it'll get right out of there.
It folks it and you saw everything just zoop out and you go, it's a beautiful day today.
1969.
Didn't we go to the moon then?
We went through the atmosphere.
All the smoke came out.
We found the toy dinosaurs.
It was a big year.
It was a big year.
Charles Manson killed a bunch of people, and it was-
Look at the weather.
Pre-1969, I bet weather was like, it's like Seattle every day.
Yeah.
And then we go up there.
Boom.
Everybody moves to California.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we solved it.
Solved it.
We did it uh i don't know when this is coming out but it's uh uh dusty slay.com is that your site.com yeah go check it out go see him he's
starting to blow up uh people are going to see him yeah yeah do you ever have you ever wrote a new
hour yeah i mean well you know i did some classics on the netflix uh half hour so i got yeah you come
see me.
I got a whole new hour.
That's good.
I'll still be saying we're having a good time.
But other than that, it's different.
Yeah.
And I'll be waving.
But.
What if someone goes, he does, he goes, he did about 30 of the same jokes.
And it's all saying we're having a good time.
And you're like, no, no, I just.
Well, I'm ready for that to happen.
Yeah.
It looks like my internet is, my website's moving slow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There it is.
There it is.
Look at all these dates, man.
Yeah.
Very exciting.
Yeah, a bunch of stuff.
So, DustySlay.com.
Yeah, go check it out.
Yeah, go check it out.
It's going to be hot.
Yeah.
Y'all.
I have makeup on in that picture.
Wide open.
Very tight.
Wide open.
Whole pitch again.
Wise guys, April 15th and 16th.
Yeah.
Right.
Go head on in that i don't
know when this comes out exactly so yeah i can't think of what else st louis helium indianapolis
helium cap city and austin i got a lot of stuff coming up yeah come come see me i'm doing i'm not
saying to promote it because it's this weekend but i'm doing a marriage conference in Orlando. Oh, really? And the name of it is, what's the phrase for butter?
I can't believe it's not butter?
Yeah.
I can't believe it's not better.
Yeah.
Playing off like a marriage, whatever.
I didn't know that.
Oh, man.
So the poster is just comedian Brian Bates, I can't believe it's not better.
Yeah.
Wow.
And I'm like, you asked me to do it, but that's just the name of the conference.
Well, that's a bad name for the conference and the comedy show.
You have to do all marriage stuff?
I like your just website showed up.
I can't believe it's not better.
Comedian Brian Bates, I can't believe it's not better,
just his brianbates.com shows up.
I like that name for a comedy show, actually.
Not for a marriage.
It's like, have you not lived life before?
Related search, wife Ruth.
People are looking into it.
All right.
Go to his net worth.
Look at the number two.
Number two is he had a stroke.
Go to his net worth.
See what his net worth is.
Did you have a stroke?
No, we think he did.
Net worth, 1.5 million.
Whoa.
That's right.
Wow.
This is big money.
Wow.
I always thought those were wrong.
Is that your real birthday?
Well, that's not right, but the net worth is.
Yeah.
1.5 mil, huh?
Yeah, dude.
He's killing it.
I don't need this podcast, guys.
I just do it for fun.
Wow.
He's killing it.
Oh, that one says one estimated one to ten million
yeah wow dude yeah good work give or take idea give or take
under 700 000 oh yeah it's definitely that's that is accurate it is under 700 000
oh my god they have really specific information on here before he had to undergo surgery for an It is under 700,000. It is for sure. Oh, my God.
They have really specific information on here.
Before he had to undergo surgery for an unrevealed health issue.
I've revealed it.
What was it?
I ruptured my appendix.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and it was gross.
Did you keep it under the wraps for a little bit?
No, no.
I was talking about it right away.
I was like, pray for me.
I'm dying in here.
Yeah.
I was like, get me out of here.
Yeah.
What's yours, Aaron?
I don't know.
Under 700,000.
I like that they phrase it like that because that's true, but it looks better when they do it like that.
No, there's an Aaron Webber that created Sonic the Hedgehog.
Oh.
Oh, that's not you.
So that's probably who they're talking about here.
Spelled a little wrong.
He's worth one to five million. Yeah, you don't flash that up with that guy telling you. So that's probably who they're talking about here. Spelled a little wrong. He's worth one to five million.
Yeah, you're going to flash that up with that guy telling you your seventh cousin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
That's fun.
That's fun.
Mine's $100 million.
Don't worry about it.
All right.
Thank you, guys. Go follow everybody everybody we love you uh as always uh thank you see you next
time
nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate margutzi and my wife lara on the all
things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media
thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast