The Nateland Podcast - #91 Diet & Exercise with Dusty Slay ft. Mike Vecchione
Episode Date: March 23, 2022This episode, Dusty Slay fills in as co-host for Father Breakfast, and Mike Vecchione joins the table to talk diet and exercise fads of the past. Is Jazzercise still effective, would weight-watchers b...e more effective as a door-to-door sales pitch? Find out this week.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com Magic Spoon - MagicSpoon.com/Nate  Go to magicspoon.com/NATE to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code NATE at checkout to save five dollars off your order! And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it’s backed with a 100% happiness guarantee — so if you don’t like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal at Magic Spoon.com/NATE and use the code NATE to save five dollars off. Thank you Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode!  Solo Stove - SoloStove.com Shop now and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long, AND use promo code NATE at checkout to get an extra $20 off. Plus a lifetime warranty and FREE 30-day returns. Just go to solostove.com. And remember, you get $20 off when you use promo code NATE.  Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially heading into the flu and cold season! It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE.  Again, that is ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!  Babbel - Babbel.com  Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE. That’s 6 months, for the price of 3! Just go to BABBEL.com and use promo code NATE. That’s BABBEL.com, code NATE. Babbel—Language for life.  Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/ NATE. That’s up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/NATE.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast we're back we've been gone i've been gone for a month
uh i'm here with aaron weber as always uh we have a We have the co-host, technically Dusty Slay, is in for Brian Bates.
And we also have Mike Vecchione, who's in town.
Bit of a diva, Mike Vecchione.
He was dusty.
He was going to sit in Brian's seat.
Right.
And then Mike overthrew that.
Right.
And he doesn't, you know.
Well, it's because of personal personal um it's a self-esteem
issues i didn't like the way i looked on the last thing so it was a me issue wasn't a it wasn't a
power play the way that you're making it out to be oh it was you all right well i hope you guys
liked him straight on uh yeah you know i think i'm better in this chair many times i feel good
here you like it yeah well you have the hair and the beard. So it's –
I cover it.
We want to make sure that Mike's comfortable.
He's getting older.
And Mike – all right.
So –
No.
So we – obviously, Bates, I think everybody knows.
This is Monday the something, 20th?
21st.
21st.
Yeah.
First day of spring, all that stuff.
And Bates should be – their baby should at the hospital they're at the hospital now yeah uh so it could
be happening right now we don't know if we get a live update we'll let you know uh but so yeah
next time you guys will see baits he will be a father wow wow that's crazy yeah who would have
thunk it you You know? Yeah.
I like to think he's old enough where he's the generation where you're not allowed in
the room when the kid's born.
Oh, yeah.
He's like smoking a cigar out there.
Yeah.
You can't do this anymore, man.
You can't.
Yeah.
You got to be in the room.
Well, you got to vape now, I think.
Yeah, that's true.
And that dictates how the kid is going to be raised if you vape.
He should vape for the kid.
Right.
You know, let him come in just in the room.
Yeah.
You know how many people are born, young kids, lesser heart,
they just have a baby too young and then their boyfriend
that's just in the corner like just ain't.
Ripping a jewel.
You just see the vape smoke come in.
The doctor's like, hey, out of all the places.
And he's like, but vape doesn't matter, dude.
It's just water vapor, bro.
It's just water vapor, bro.
Why are you being maybe read something once in a while?
There you go.
Could you not vape during the...
Well, here we are.
So we're excited to be back.
It's been a busy month.
Been on the road, still going out on the
road mike vecchione is here we're going to go to zany's tonight to look at his uh to set up for his
special we are shooting uh april 19th yeah very excited very excited uh i want everybody if you're
in nashville come out to this special uh we do two shows april 19th at zany's uh vecchione is uh
one of the funniest comics ever.
You know, I'm obviously a giant fan.
It's just, he does what I think what you guys like,
especially on this podcast.
It's jokes.
You're going to have fun.
It's just pure fun for an hour.
And that's what we're, you know, making.
It'll be good.
It'll be clean for the people that listen to this and they want to not be batted down by Mike's filth
that he's had in the past.
I've cleaned up my act.
I'm reformed.
Yeah, before he was,
definitely everybody knew where he was going.
But now, you know, he's got shot up at the top.
It is very funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've listened to his album a couple of times.
Very funny.
Yeah, yeah.
Very funny.
Yeah.
Mike's been doing comedy.
15 years longer than Dusty.
I'm 400 years old, actually.
Mike started when Dusty was born.
Well, it's well-seasoned.
It's well-seasoned.
Yeah.
That's what makes you like it.
Yeah.
Well-seasoned is a good way to describe it. Yeah. It's well-seasoned. It's a little spicy. It's a little spicy. It's well-seasoned. Yeah. That's what makes you like it. Yeah. Well-seasoned is a good way to describe it.
Yeah.
It's well-seasoned.
It's a little spicy.
It's a little spicy.
It's spicy for a lot of people.
But you leave.
People leave.
But most people, they don't ever walk out of the room, but maybe they go sit back by the bar.
You know?
Well, I'm excited to do it in Nashville because when people walk out, I know they'll be walking to their trucks.
Boom.
It's a big truck gun culture
here. Yeah, yeah. I called him on.
Welcome, Mr. Philadelphia.
You guys don't have a problem
going on.
Perfect place. I called
the crowd rurals last night. They didn't respond
well. What are we doing?
He calls us rurals. Hill folk.
Yeah, the hill folk.
He goes, let's try hill folk, Oh, yeah. The hill folk. He goes, that's right, hill folk.
And then he gives us pounds.
Yep.
My brother-in-law used to call us hillbillies, and we were in Alabama.
We weren't even around hills.
Yeah.
I guess it's better than, like, trash.
Yeah.
We were living in a trailer, but we weren't on a hill.
You're like, we're white trash.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You had to correct them.
Look at your surroundings. Yeah, and he's from Michigan, right? hill you're like we're white trash yeah yeah maybe you had to correct them look you look at
your surroundings yeah and he's from michigan right and i'm like growing up i thought all
all northern states were all cities right i had no idea what was going on oh yeah now i've been
through michigan i'm like oh you're the same as alabama oh yeah you're the same yeah that's the
uh it's you say you do think that you think well the north you just grow up thinking the north is
like well they go to college and stuff right like they're just and then you start traveling you're
like oh like y'all are me like y'all are all yeah none of us are going to college you know
yeah you went to college you went to penn state yeah yeah during all that stuff uh
and then uh i believe one of the reasons you went. Go ahead, Mike. You want to go ahead?
Who recruited you?
Sandusky himself?
Go ahead, Mike.
I didn't know we were going there.
Oh, no.
It's a clean podcast. I thought we keep it clean on Nate Land.
We do.
We do.
But, you know, trying to wet the whistle a little bit for you because you are having to tone it down.
We've neutered you, and you're not being allowed to run free.
So Penn State.
Penn State, and then I got a master's degree.
You're stalling me.
Don't move yet.
My education continued.
I went at night, and I got a degree from Cabrini College,
a small Catholic college outside of Philadelphia in special education.
Wow.
So is that good?
Special education is very nice.
Big heart you got doing stuff like that. I do like that. But getting a master's at night, is that easier than the day?
It is not.
I would imagine.
Because you have to work a day job. I worked with kids with behavioral problems during the day,
and then at night, I would have to take classes.
This is not about the kids. I'm saying that usually, I don't think people are going to Harvard
and they got their master's at night.
So I'm saying when you go at night and you go get your master's,
it's like to a drive-thru window or something like that.
And then the teachers are probably not the top, top, right?
Like what teacher goes, I hope I get to work the graveyard shift
to teach the master's degree is what
i'm saying is it a pretty loose master no it's not a loose master's okay i i see you taking shots
at me like we're dumber than the people who get their masters during the day day hours is all i'm
asking like you're in you you know you as a working professional they you have to work during the day,
and then you needed the supplemental coursework at night.
You're not familiar with secondary education.
I'm not.
I'm just saying, does your master's degree, when they print it,
does it have the time like 9 p.m. on it?
Does it say, like that's when it was handed to you?
They call it a Twilight Master's. The Twilight Master's thing. I'll just go with you on it does it say like that's when it was handed to you like they call it a twilight master
i'll just go with you on it yeah after i was resisting it for a while but you just kept
battering me with uh jokes and after a while i just go you know what you win it's a twilight
master that's what i think a lot of the teachers do that teach night masters and uh they eventually
go that's fine everybody i'm you know i can't i just try to one day
hopefully shoot during the day can i imagine you go you're you're let's just say your teacher
didn't wake up till 11 or noon easily and then wanted to get out of there so he can go to
happy hour and i missed happy hour he's just going to the light he's going to the server hours
right the after hours after Right. The after hours.
The after party.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does feel like there would be less people.
I didn't go to college either, so I don't know.
But it does feel like night school, there'd be less people.
We're the ones that can talk about it the most is the ones that didn't go.
Right.
That's the most fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
We were not allowed to go.
I think just listening to your albums i think
we had a similar college experience i went to a couple of classes yeah and then i was like i don't
no i can't this is not for me i'm gonna figure another way yeah yeah it was yeah i don't know
it was like there's just it's not gonna it's either gonna be i mean luckily i started comedy
you started comedy well You started comedy.
Well, my way was.
It might not be a regular job.
My way was selling pesticides.
And then after doing that for a while, I was like, let's find another way.
Let's find a different way.
A third way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll keep trying.
Pesticides.
And you just found the job for pesticides?
Yeah, I just kind of did a part-time gig.
And then my boss
was a penn state grad too oh wow yeah wow yeah that's what the boss real connection yes yes his
boss and then he retired and i took the job with no college wow wow so you were the boss after a
while yeah wow with no penn state yeah no penn State. And then you took the risk of leaving that to start comedy.
Yes.
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, you had a solid job.
I was, my title was a district manager.
Whoa.
Yeah, I was big time.
So did you manage all the pesticides?
Yeah, Myrtle Beach.
Yeah, it was just, you know, it seemed better than it was.
I had Myrtle Beach, Charleston, Savannah.
It was like, oh, cool locations.
Did you have a uniform?
I had a vest.
Yeah.
And I had a collared shirt. shirt okay and you were an exterminator
no no i would just go into lowes and home depot and sell pesticides oh you would sell past i would
go hey you guys i see you got a display for this product why not you know why not put a display for
mine and that's the boss was that selling this stuff was that well there was you know why not
do mine boss was really a loose term yeah i, my company was calling me a district manager, but I wasn't really managing a lot of people.
So the peak of pesticide is just to not be in the, the bottom's the basement.
You're in the basement with the roaches.
Yeah, part-time, the job ends in winter.
But if you're the, yeah, winter's huge for y'all.
Y'all love it.
And then, because nature, God does his own work in the winter.
Right, in the winter, I'm hanging out.
I go to a lot of coffee shops.
Yeah.
And then, but if you make it to the top, you're just the face telling people about it.
Yeah.
People are like, I'm using this product.
Is there someone above that?
Oh, yeah.
There's a regional manager.
And then there's like, as you get on up, people are doing nothing.
Yeah. Yeah. They figure it out yeah is it pesticides for like garden or yeah i've noticed for everything i
don't really know what pesticides are pesticides herbicides rodenticides all of them wow oh that's
like weeds spectracide yeah bugs you're not bugs and weeds? Bugs and weeds, yeah. Oh. Bugs can't hide from spectracide.
Is there anybody that just does one or the other?
I don't think so.
It's like you kind of like if you're doing it, you couldn't be like,
we do weeds and we'll have bugs and they go, I don't.
That's a.
No, I'm like, yeah, whatever you need.
I can kill it for you.
We're spraying the same stuff on all this stuff.
Yeah, it's probably the same.
Yeah.
It's like just spread this out there.
Were you ever in the middle of it and went,
maybe I should go to college?
Or no?
No.
I was like, maybe I should get a different job.
But college was never really on my mind.
Was that a thing with your parents?
You too, Nate?
Were your parents?
Because my parents were like, you're going to college.
So that's not a discussion.
Yeah.
My parents wanted me to go, but they didn't want to help pay. Right. And I was like, you're going to college. So that's not a discussion. My parents wanted me to go,
but they didn't want to help pay.
And I was like, well.
My dad's a magician.
My mom didn't go to college.
My dad went to college late.
So I don't think it was a shock
when I didn't finish.
They helped pay.
Did you just wake up and your dad's in a tank of water?
Yeah.
He's trying to get out.
He's just trying to get out.
That's our alarm clock.
I got to get him out of his underwater thing.
He's shaking.
And I'm like,
dad,
you almost didn't make it,
you know?
And he's like,
I know.
That would be very,
it's really great to wake up to that.
Me and my brother just wake up and it's just him just
flying around just trying to get the chains off and he can't get it he's hanging he's upside down
underwater did you just go like this i'm like why would you do it upside down i go just do it you're
in the water that's oppressive enough but i imagine he goes yeah it gets up your nose i go yeah yeah
did you ever like throw a playful punch at your father and he go, hey, that's how Houdini died?
Oh, yeah.
We talked about that a lot.
Because that is how Houdini died.
He'd break up any fight.
We broke it up quick because he's seen it.
He goes, I've seen this go wrong.
Houdini.
We talk about Houdini more than most people probably.
Just every day.
We thanked him.
So let's do some comments.
Yeah.
I got this Grove stuff on.
People were wondering this.
I had a little golf trip.
Went to the Grove 23, Michael Jordan's course.
Oh, really?
Very exciting.
Did not see him.
We were hoping to see him.
I think we just missed him.
But the place is like, I mean mean everybody's so nice that works there he like what you hear is like that he he runs it in a way
of like it's like we're all equal here we're all like you know it's like uh it's i don't know it's
just like a everybody has very nice things to say about like, you know, him. And he kind of knows everybody. Uh, it was,
I saw King Griffey Jr.
Which is cool.
Just go.
What's up?
But it's crazy to see him like from a distance,
I'd see him hit a couple of shots.
He's left-handed,
you know,
you see that you recognize the swing still.
Yeah.
Even as a golf swing,
it's just so the,
the golf swing is just so smooth.
And you're like,
golly,
man, that's amazing. Best baseball game ever ever the video game ken griffey jr you remember that ken griffey jr the game yeah
yeah super nintendo he was pretty poor it was the best uh i was pretty poor yeah i had that game for
you know you milk a game you get a game and you're like no no this is, this is the best. I do remember, yeah, the King Griffey.
I mean, I don't know if this looks like the best game.
Have you seen some of the baseball games now?
Well, when it came out.
Well, they got too complicated with it.
They had to end up watching TV on the antenna.
The game of baseball did not change.
Back then, it's fast, curve, change up.
Now, you can target where you throw it.
And back then, you just.
When this came out, this was a big deal.
Yeah, you click on that corner over there.
Look at that guy.
Look how muscular that guy is.
It was like, what are you going to do?
You watch Channel 2 kind of squirrely
or you can play this game.
That's all they have.
You go to Channel 3 and play that.
Yeah.
You go to Channel 3,
play a clear game
or watch the news kind of squirrely on 2.
Exactly.
See where their tornadoes are.
You know,
I'm just always kind of
keeping an eye.
I've been on a big tornado
like watching
like stuff on tornadoes.
I do want to go,
I still want to go
tornado watch,
storm chasing.
I watched like that one
that went to Oklahoma City.
It's just so crazy.
They're just,
it's unreal.
Like it just comes out of nowhere
and it's just this
mile long thing that
just wrecks everything.
It can be several miles wide.
Yeah.
It's insane.
If a podcast fan is hearing this and does this for a living,
would you do a ride along with them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would go do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I can have to find the time to go do it,
I want them to be good and I want it to,
I don't want you to be going, you know,
and if I'm like, how many times have you done this?
You go, this is it.
This is number one.
But I've always wanted to do it just like you.
But, yeah, I'll get out there.
It's hard to schedule one, you know.
Yeah, you got to be open.
But, I mean, I would just kind of figure out, like, you know,
find out when the period is.
Hopefully it's like, what is it, May?
I mean, it's just super hard
for my schedule.
Like a tornado comedy tour.
Yeah.
You go and you're following along.
You chase the tornado
to the next venue.
Hope that it doesn't hit the venue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do it with Earthquake.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Do it with Earthquake.
Yeah, there's probably a tornado comedy.
Maybe that could be
Comedian Tornado.
Yeah.
Nathaniel Wines.
Wines or Wines.
Haven't even started the episode yet, but so happy to see Dusty back.
He's been one of the greatest diamonds in the rough this podcast has given me.
Went back and listened to all his albums after his first appearance.
So happy to see him on the latest seasons of The Stand-Ups.
Just an awesome dude and hilarious to boot.
We're having a good time.
All right. Nathaniel Wines. Way to boot. We're having a good time. All right.
Nathaniel Waynes.
Way to go.
Really coming in hot.
One more.
We won't read his comment after he listens to the episode.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Now he's like, I haven't even started.
But this guy gets it, just speaks the truth, seems like a stand-up guy,
and then he's like, oh, boy.
Yeah, he did watch the dinosaur one.
He could change his mind after that.
Orange Blue 37.
The scientific illiteracy.
That's right.
He nailed it, man.
In this episode was astounding.
That being said, this was by far the funniest episode in a long time.
The chemistry between Nate, Aaron, Beefaroni, and Dusty was electric.
Keep up the good work.
Yeah.
Well, I don't understand the first sentence, but.
The scientific illiteracy.
Yeah.
I don't get where he's coming from on that.
No.
Sounds like this guy needs some pesticides.
I would think so.
You know?
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on with dinosaurs.
With pesticides, they would kill someone, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So like you could, would you ever get like called to be like, yo, could you do it in my yard and maybe come over early?
Oh, no.
I wouldn't do it.
Really, I didn't know a lot.
I read the bags, and then I would tell people what I read, and that's all they need.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're not really looking for answers.
They're like, should I buy this?
I go, yeah, you should.
Yeah.
And they'll go, thank you, man.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Do you go like, what's your issue, and then let them speak, and then go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got a specific brand.
The good line is always go, my mom uses this one.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
People love that.
Right.
Yeah.
Do you go to, in the South, do you go to the Waffle House on Sundays and just like chat
it up with people so that there's a buzz?
Is that how you spread?
Well, you know, well, back then I was-
Since college doesn't seem to be an issue down there, you know?
It's like a Waffle House.
We have the time.
Yeah.
Well, back then I was drinking a lot.
Yes.
And I weirdly found myself in a lot of pesticide conversations in bars.
Yeah.
We would be drunk.
It's Charleston.
It's beautiful.
It's a beautiful day.
People start talking about their grass.
I'm like, you know, I got a good product.
Right.
And then- Would you hook them up right and then would you hook them up no could you hook them up i could give them a bag that had been
busted yeah i usually carried a few in the trunk of my car yeah and my car do you call them lucy's
yeah my car smelled like yeah the bags that are open you want i'll give you some lucy's yeah i
always think the idea that someone's like come on i'll hook you up and you're like i mean what
what hooking up can there really be done?
Like when someone works, when you got like you work at a regular office,
you're like, I mean, if I worked at like a water park, you're like, yeah,
I could look the other way as you come in.
But like some other like that kind of job, you're like, oh, I'll hook you up.
And you're like, how could you?
You're like, I really can't.
I just said that.
I'll give you like a hat or something.
What if someone was really serious?
If people do like a hat, they're like, you know what, I would that i'll give you like a hat or something what if someone was really serious people do like a hat they're like you know what i would i would love to love my dad
my dad loves a hat there was a guy named rusty and he would give me barbecue chicken and i would
take him pesticides for free yeah we would trade off barbecue chicken he did it at his house you
don't have to track these pesticides no i would write it off from the store and just say. Promotional.
Yeah, promotional.
Promotional.
And he would give me barbecue chicken and whatever.
Right.
I bet that happens.
That could happen probably more than people realize.
If you just have the courage to go like, yo, man, I'll give you lunch every day.
Just give me pesticides.
And it's like, deal.
Yeah.
And you wash and then you're like, we're done.
Yeah. Did you ever take half the bag out and then i'm giving to him and he goes a little light this week
yeah you know yeah it never got that intense i could see you know going down the road maybe
we get that way yeah but you go hey this barbecued chicken was pretty dry yeah yeah well he goes i
don't know your pesticide was he gave me his wife gave me bread one time
and then in the next time i didn't get any bread is that code for something i kind of what no no
that was well it was okay all right all right is it above board i'm just trying to police it nate
hey thank you i don't want dusty going over the um over the line that's true i don't like it either
uh not code though okay real bread real bread. Holly Stone, the amount of times you reference that dinosaurs may be fake is quite disturbing.
Holly.
Sounds like she's got some of her own problems.
Holly sure does.
Holly, it sounds like you've got some of your own issues.
Yeah.
Holly, what's your problem with the fact that you can't say dinosaurs might be fake?
What world are we living in that you can't say dinosaurs are fake?
Look, if kids are listening to this, obviously
don't listen to us.
During that episode, we pulled up a picture
of dinosaurs with feathers.
Yeah, right. And they
say that's how they were now.
So, I don't know.
Fake seems less disturbing than that to me.
Yeah, yeah. Like that they were like chicken
wings out here. Basically just saying, do you want to tell your kids that they had feathers are fake?
Which one's the better way?
Yeah, I'm saying fake.
If anybody is listening to Dusty and going, well, I guess they're fake and believe him,
then you got your own issues.
Yeah, that's right.
That's how I always look at everything.
They got Mata Kari Irving for being the flat earther.
And you're like, if anybody's listening to the point guard of the Brooklyn Nets
and they're taking his advice, I was like, then let's worry about it.
There's probably other issues.
They go, well, Kyrie Irving said it.
It's crazy.
Who's your references?
Who's your sources?
Kyrie Irving, Dusty Slay.
They go, well, I don don't even what does that even
mean i don't mind the list it's a good list yeah you guys would get along quite well i think so i
think so just justine richardson so refreshing to hear some solid sarcasm thrown at scientific
theories spouted as facts keep it coming after all science after all science is supposed to be
asking and challenging those simple questions, right?
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah, I wasn't being sarcastic.
I felt free.
No, yeah.
I was on here, I thought, as an expert.
I mean, we were with people, someone that they – these guys made money from the stock market, and I asked them, could the stock market ever go away?
And that was – I noticed – oh, I didn't ask them could the stock market ever go away uh and that was you know that's
they i noticed oh i didn't ask them a question that they ever get at no one ever just goes
yeah dude no one's these guys have made money off somebody and i'm always like but what if it just
went away like what if it just stopped working they never thought about that they never thought
about it's like a metaphysical thing they go it goes up and down and and it goes but what if it just disappears another dimension
it's another dimension yeah metaphysical yeah so i stood by it uh sam poland nate asking which c
is silent and con uh condescendingly made me do a spit take as though the word might be pronounced on descendingly. Keep it up, fellas.
There's only two Cs.
Yeah, that would be like on descendingly.
Yeah, yeah, on descendingly.
Yeah.
There's two of them.
I thought I should ask.
I also asked if the stock market could ever stop.
So this is in a row of just like, and we just go dinosaurs may be fake.
I said stock markets could be that.
Then I'm asking, which C is condescending?
I mean, if you're- Maybe you combine them and just go, could the stock market ever go extinct?
Extinct.
Or did it ever really exist?
Yeah, right.
That's a better question.
Brittany Vander Moore, Mooree, Mooree.
Turns out Nate was onto something with a comment about moving his family underwater.
We can indeed evolve to become more aquatic.
The Baja, Baja, what is it?
Baja?
B-A-G-A-U-A.
Baja people of Indonesia have evolved to a life in the ocean diving for their food all day they have lived on the water for over a thousand years and that time
have evolved to hold their breath for up to 13 minutes 13 minutes at a depth of 200 feet turns
out over their time their spleens have grown significantly larger which acts as an internal
scuba tank so future bargetti generations could very well live amongst the dolphins after all.
Wow.
That's pretty crazy.
Is that true?
Yeah, we got them swimming around.
13 minutes underwater is pretty crazy.
Yeah, what are we doing worshiping David Blaine?
I mean, fly over there.
But it took them 1,000 years to do it. 13 minutes doesn't really seem like that big of a deal if it took them 1,000 years to do it.
13 minutes doesn't really seem like that big of a deal
if it took you 1,000 years.
Yeah, but I mean, what is David Blaine's record?
Like, you know, I mean, I don't, you know.
17 minutes?
I mean, I imagine they got guys that can do 20.
And they're actively hunting during this time.
Yeah, they're not just standing there still
like it's just it's crazy like when you put it in perspective and you go i did 17 minutes if
you're from that community you go we did we do 13 like on a tuesday dude like you go if i even kind
of paid attention i would do 20 i don't even know where he's like i'm just i mean in the morning i
go do i do 10 just as like an accident yeah like i just
i get kind of lost in my thoughts down there and i'm like oh it's 16 minutes on just a whim
and does your father have a problem when you bash other magicians or no no you take it personal
no no i'm just saying it's just funny yeah Yeah, we are protective of Roan. But what was Attell's joke on David Blaine?
Attell had the joke, he goes,
David Blaine just looks like he's doing stuff like,
how long can I stay on your couch for?
It's like he's doing just stuff that's like,
he's just around.
Like, you know, my next trick,
I'm going to try to live in your living room for two months.
And you're like, all right, David.
That's the joke's better than that.
Rocky Duncan.
Dusty Slade doesn't believe in dinosaurs,
but dresses exactly like a paleontologist.
He looks like he just finished brushing off some stegosaurus bone.
All right.
I'm into it, yeah.
That's great.
You would be that.
That's a great observation, Rocky.
That's how I know they're not real.
Yeah, because you go and-
Been out there digging around.
As you brush, you go, what are we brushing here?
Yeah, I'm like, I'm pretty sure this is chicken bones here.
Yeah, big chicken bones.
That's why you think feathers have been on it.
But they were big chickens.
Big chickens, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, farm-
Wait, do you believe in big chickens?
I'm like, yeah, I mean, you know, they-
Yeah, so they would be big, giant chickens.
Yeah.
So you're like, it's not a dinosaur.
It's just, we used to have a big chicken problem.
Yeah.
Like the chickens.
So when people had chickens at their house, you're like, well, you're lucky you can even do that now.
Because back in the day, if you had 40 chickens back there, you're like, I mean, they're coming through this window.
We're upstairs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chickens don't mess around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They've luckily got smaller.
Yeah.
Luckily for us, yeah.
Yeah.
They were taken over at one point at
one point yeah yeah that's why that tribe moved to the water yeah because the chickens were yeah
out of those i mean it was a major problem like you go you know when he had chicken i mean he was
like yeah what are y'all eating tonight chicken you're like golly what are you back then it was
like so what are y'all eating this month chicken're like golly back then it was like so what are y'all eating
this month chicken one chicken would last us the whole month uh blue solo cup this is about a
conspiracy theory comment this is from blue solo cup watching nate brawny and dusty try to describe
why gravity is not so was difficult to listen to. Aaron really is the only one on this podcast
with a basic understanding of physics.
Dusty inadvertently begins to describe gravity
in an effort to argue that it isn't real.
Mind-blowing stuff.
Well, that's what I like to do,
just come on here and blow minds.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean.
Yeah.
I like the argument that it does end up going back to going,
yeah, dude, that's the definition of gravity.
And you're like, oh.
You go, but is it?
But is it?
But is it really?
There's no dinosaurs, only big chickens.
That's what, I'm not, there's a comment.
That's what we stand by here on the,
now the farm animals were just gigantic back then.
A cow was like a brontosaurus
hmm
crazy
maybe even the behemoth
from the bible
yeah
yeah
talking about a big cow
Trent Stewart
without a doubt
Dusty Slade
was the perfect guest
for this episode
for the record
I think I'm leaning
his way on a lot of thoughts
love the podcast
alright
you're getting some
winning some minds
I like to
I'm trying
to pull people in dusty do you feel like an influencer now because a lot of people are just
praising you they like it well you know it's um you know i'm breaking the mold here yeah a lot of
um well you know i just dinosaur influencer yeah it's a lot more fun than just you know we're just
not really a dinosaur influencer because he's he doesn you. He's against them. He's against them.
So he's, you know, a big farm animal.
You would, because it's like, so they're finding big bones.
What are the bones, right?
The big chicken bones.
But they'll find like a bone, right?
And then they'll go, you go to the museum and it's like,
they got this whole animal constructed.
Right.
And then they'll go, this is the bone we found.
Yeah.
But the rest of it is
just made up yeah they're like and based on that bone we figured that yeah it will look like this
yeah yeah and i'm like well what's that one bone that you found yeah what is that yeah and for all
we know it is a giant chicken bone so maybe there's not there's not dinosaurs you don't
believe in the museum system maybe yeah i mean that I mean, that's skeptical. Yeah. That would be more fair to go like,
I don't trust these museums.
Dusty, you're anti-museum?
Anti-museum.
Anti-dinosaur, anti-museum.
Yeah, I mean, if I go to a museum,
I can be in and out of there pretty quick.
Pretty quick.
Did you just walk through and go,
fake, stupid, that's dumb, you guys are crazy, I'm out.
So you've been there with me before.
Yeah, I've been making noises. My wife's like, I want to read this. I'm like. So you've been there with me before. Yeah. Making noises.
Yeah.
My wife's like, I want to read this.
I'm like, no, no, no.
Let's come on.
I've been to museums with you.
Remember the Great Lakes Museum in Duluth, Minnesota?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We blazed right through that.
Lies, lies, lies, lies.
Yeah.
There you just go.
I like it.
I can fly through a museum.
Yeah. You read a couple of them, and then you're like, all right. I can fly to a museum yeah you read a couple of them
and you're like
alright
I can't
it's just a lot
it's like
suddenly you get over there
and you're like
this is
are you even remembering
all the things
that you read
right
you guys probably go in there
and like
what is this college
what did I get tricked
into going to college
yeah
that's what it feels like
yeah
it's like an accident
you're like am I paying for college?
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, where are the drinks?
Yeah.
Let's go get some guns, right, guys?
Yeah.
Hillfolk.
Hillfolk.
Hillfolk, right?
Guns?
Yeah, I'm in.
I'm in.
Did I tell you that?
I don't think I told this story.
We were talking about this weekend.
I had dinner once with a guy guy and he was a wonderful person.
And,
uh,
but he would pound us.
I mean,
the whole time.
So they were drinking.
I wasn't drinking.
And like,
but there,
I mean the whole,
he would just be like,
dude,
what about,
we were like,
there's music playing in the background.
He's like,
what about this song,
dude?
And I'd be like,
yeah,
it's great.
And he'd be like,
right,
dude.
Right. And he'd go, and he just kept, he's like, dude, he goes, all right, dude about this song dude and i'm like yeah it's great and he'd be like right dude right and he'd go and he just kept he's like dude he goes all right dude this song like
and then he would i mean it just the whole night was like he's like he goes
us together yeah and then he would just go around the table and just be like all right
and you had to do it you know what i know you're making fun of it. I'm way on board with this guy.
I know, you like it.
I love it.
So the whole, it was so great.
And then, because it was, if he wasn't so likable,
you would have probably hated this guy.
But the fact that he was like so wonderful,
you were like, I didn't want him to stop.
And he would just be, at one point,
I don't know if we can get this on camera,
but he comes to me, I'm sitting next to him.
At one point he goes, he goes, dude, he goes,, dude, he goes, look, you're doing great, dude.
He goes, you're doing great.
And he scoots back from his head, and he gives me the low high five.
So go down low, under the table high five.
He goes, dude, you're doing great.
He does three.
He does three of them.
And that was just a me and him thing.
He didn't get the whole table involved
he just goes just because you're doing so great man and then just i mean all night was that and
it was one of my favorite nights ever just to watch him it's the best i try to start one of
the fist bumps one time and he did it i didn't think i but i gotta i don't think he cared for
it no i think it was like right it's like that's what i went i go i just did it. I didn't think, but I got a, I don't think he cared for it. No, it was his thing. I think it was like, it's like, that's what I went.
I go, I just did it.
And then he was like, he did it like, like, I got this part of the party.
Figure out your own thing.
I'm the cheers.
I'm controlling the rhythm of the fist bump.
I mean, I swear to you, I'm not lying on this number, over under 20 times.
Great.
Probably over. But I would put the over under 20 times great probably over but though you i would put the
over under 20 and how long is the hang we were there for they were drinking so then you know
people lose kind of track of time and so we're there for i mean we were there for like five
hours we were all hanging out talking 20 and five hours is not that bad once you break down the
ratio i know you guys not college guys but once you break down the ratio, ratio is like a fraction.
But once you break down the ratio of it, it's not – can we look that up?
Fraction.
Yeah.
Ratio for these guys.
But once you break it down, it's actually not that much.
But if you think about, I don't do 20 times in a week, really.
So in a condensed time.
Every 15 minutes, he's doing a fist bump.
It's almost like we get
their fist bump we leave fist bump i'm not even throwing in cheers dude i'm not even throwing in
cheers in his toast i'm not oh man are you a big toast guy mike you gotta make a couple to now i'm
a fist pound guy but i i should start throwing in some toasts right toast wear me down but just
guys cheers and would get like i, I remember in New York,
when everybody would go out every night, you'd be like,
every time we had our first beer, you're like,
yo, we do this every night.
We do it every night, baby.
Like, you can't.
Yes.
We can't just every day be like, it's this special.
Somebody buys a round of shots, then you got to do it.
Yeah.
You know, something like that.
I felt like we were all, like, when you do a shot,
we were all cheersing and then doing the shot.
And then all of a sudden, everybody was cheersing and then touching the table and doing the shot.
That's how I was raised.
I was like, when did the table touch get introduced?
But you never let the glass touch.
You put your pinky underneath it.
You never let the glass touch the table.
That's a fine point.
That's how I was raised.
Really?
And what's the reason for it?
Does your family take shots at home?
That's how I was raised.
Yeah.
Really?
And what's the reason for it? Your family takes shots at home?
Is that part of y'all's education as you grew up?
Let me talk to you, Aaron, for a little bit.
One day you'll be 21, and you're going to get out there,
and you're going to be doing shots with the people.
And what we do, touch, don't.
Well, first of all, there's a practical reason.
You're going to break a glass.
It's going to happen if everybody's slamming their shot glass against the table.
I think people are slamming them.
The more you do, the less control you have.
If you are slamming it, so if you're not thinking,
don't break this glass on the table,
I don't think you're remembering to put your pinky down.
I just don't.
I mean, I guess maybe you're building a habit.
Right.
So then maybe when you're gone.
For me, breaking a glass is a fist bump moment.
You know, you go, you cheer.
You're like, you know what?
You dunk in like Shaq, break in the ring.
Get kicked out of the bar.
But yeah, let's get out of here.
After you break the glass, somebody has to go, this is epic.
It's an epic night.
Remember when you broke that glass?
Epic.
Epic.
Yeah.
It's just a superstition, though.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
Does it conflict with the prayers?
You're a big drinker.
Catholics are drugs.
I don't think my shot technique has anything to do with Catholicism.
Right?
I don't think it does.
It's just how I was taught.
But I'm not Catholic, and we didn't learn that way.
Yeah, because you weren't raised Catholic. My parents are Catholic, but I was not Catholic and we didn't learn that way. Yeah. But because you weren't raised Catholic,
my parents are Catholic,
but I was raised Baptist.
They,
they were Catholic growing up.
They went to,
when we were born now,
we're Baptist.
So my family,
we were Southern Baptist.
And then,
uh,
my parents,
I think go to the Baptist.
Now they,
but they,
my dad would go back and go to some Catholic,
but his whole family's Catholic.
Everybody else is Catholic.
We just ventured off,
you know.
But it's, yeah, Catholic.
Choose your words.
Choose them carefully.
Oh, yeah, we got two Catholics right here.
That's right.
Rock it.
Boom.
Yep, water into wine, dog.
Yeah.
What's up?
Water into wine.
I think I've told this story.
I did the communion once.
Did I tell that story?
No.
No.
You thought of Christ? Yeah, but I didn't know what to say. Someone did a joke about this, so I don told this story. I did the communion once. Did I tell that story? No. You thought of Christ?
Yeah, but I didn't know what to say.
Someone did a joke about this, so I don't want to.
Someone said that, but that truly happened.
I went up to communion, and it was my Aunt Sandy's wedding,
which why I wear this, my Aunt Sandy did just pass away from cancer.
That's why we had this. That's why I've had, my Aunt Sandy did just pass away from cancer. That's why we had this.
That's why I've had this on there.
That's why this is – I'll just keep this on there for her.
And just recently she did that at her wedding.
So when you go through the communion, they do the thing.
But I didn't know what – you know, we were Baptist.
I've never done that.
You're just following the crowd.
You're getting in line.
Yeah, and the guy's like – he sits like this, and I was like,
I didn't say anything.
He sits there, and I go, thank you.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
I said a bunch of stuff.
I said, amen.
I didn't know what to say.
Amen is the right way.
Yeah, amen.
Maybe I didn't say amen.
I just said, like, I was like, please.
I just said, like, a bunch of stuff.
And then finally, I just got, I go, Jesus.
Yeah, in the South, after you take it, do you go, I support the troops?
Yeah.
Yes.
That's what we're doing.
I think it's different down here.
It is different down here.
We go, you know, they go, don't tread on me.
I did communion once after I quit drinking.
I thought it was grape juice, and it was a real shot of wine.
Yeah.
And I felt it.
Right.
I was like, I'm about to relapse in church.
And then you go.
I thought, I'm going to happy hour after this.
That's awesome. You go, well well the lord wants me to start again yeah
uh uh katie hell howley h-a-l-e this episode was hilarious nate playing out how all the
conspiracies would be if they were really true had me howling it made me realize
that we're all a bunch of idiots who don't understand how something works and instead
of taking the time to learn something new we just take what we already know to make it make sense
yep sounds about right that's what's around well i find that a conspiracy is taking the time to
learn something new that's what i always think oh yeah that's what conspiracy is taking the time to learn something new. That's what I always think.
Oh yeah.
That's what conspiracy is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're like,
this is the mainstream and now let me learn a new thing.
Let me duck off down this one hallway.
No one's walking down.
The path less taken.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They tell you to take the path less taken.
Yeah.
But it's when you can't get back.
It's the road less traveled.
Right.
The road less traveled.
Remember Frost. Yeah. It's college. Yeah. All right. Yeah. That's what y' can't get back. It's the road less traveled. Right. The road less traveled. Oh, yeah.
Remember Frost.
Yeah, it's college.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, that's what y'all learned,
just how to answer questions.
This is more of a...
That's what college is.
College is basically you pay 100 grand
to be good at Trivial Pursuit,
and you just come and you just nail it.
Yeah.
Path Less Taken is more of a Hill Folks version.
Yeah, that's a Hill Folk version of that.
That's the conspiracy way. Well, that's a book Folk version of that. That's the conspiracy way.
Well, that's a book on tape, I think.
Yeah.
People don't read it.
The only way I try to listen on tape, I can't do that.
I just think about how much time.
I try to start reading a book again.
I got one.
I try to read it.
I'm starting to try to read again.
I'm trying to read on the iPad.
I did Scribd, so I got a book on that, like reading on the iPad.
But it's like I'm having a hard time focusing.
I just – I mean, I started.
And then, I mean, I'll get there with the page, and I'm like,
it just meant nothing to me.
You got to go back.
I mean, it was like – it's just like – and I'm starting over,
and I'm like, I don't even know if it's – I can't get past the first page.
Yeah.
Do you guys have reading comprehension in your schools?
In the school system?
Was that a debate about reading or not?
I was on the side that was against it.
Sometimes I'll begin a book and I'll go, this is going to be really good.
Does that mean like you understand reading?
Yeah, you'd have to read a passage and then you would have to answer about five questions about the passage.
So maybe I just learned how to read.
You could measure if you retained any of the information.
So I'm like a guy that went to the gym, and I just got shown how to use the equipment, but I never used the equipment.
That's where I'm at.
So I don't know how to read.
You know how to read, but it's like, can you retain it?
No, it doesn't retain.
It leaves.
I would go right to the questions and read it and then try to go back up
oh that dig through oh dusty that's called cheating yeah that's yeah where i'm from
yeah that's what those hurt us with college uh gary burgess the moon orbits around the earth
but it doesn't spin on its own axis that's's what Gary says. The same side always faces Earth.
Maybe the fact would allay some of Dusty's concerns
about NASA's ability to land on it.
So the moon doesn't spin?
That's what we're saying?
The moon just floats still up there?
I don't know what allay means.
So maybe the fact would allay?
I don't, yeah.
What does that mean?
Come on, college.
Relax or alleviate. Maybe the fact would... Am... I don't, yeah. What does that mean? Come on, college. Relax or alleviate.
Maybe the fact would...
Ameliorate, mitigate.
Relax some of...
Oh, yeah, okay.
So that's what's happening up there?
Ease some of Dusty's concerns?
Ease.
Ease would be, yeah.
Okay.
So the moon doesn't spin?
The moon's just up there rotating?
The moon orbits around the Earth.
Could have said just moves.
moon orbits around the earth could have said just moved uh but but it doesn't spin on its own axis so it doesn't so it goes around just floating so we only see the one same side the same side
always faces earth so we only see there so we're not landing on a spinning top but we leave a
spinning like this is we yeah it was still pretty come back they just land in
the ocean because it's just so hard to like we said and you're like it's like a washing machine
you're just hoping you don't hit i mean amazing to even land in an ocean i mean yeah well it's
70 water so you got a 70 chance yeah this is the part that really made me laugh in the last episode
nobody's saying that these were incredibly easy things to do.
You know, you're like, yeah, that's pretty impressive.
Yeah, that's why the whole world watched it.
You know, we were all pretty amazed by it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's still amazing to me.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It blows my mind.
Yeah.
Well, Gary really lays it down here like he's an astronaut.
Yeah.
That's the first I've heard about the moon not spinning.
I guess I've never noticed it's always the same moon that we're looking at.
Yeah.
Right.
Pretty amazing.
Pretty boring.
Pretty boring.
I'd like to see the other side.
Yeah.
Seeing that, that's what I say every time I see the moon.
Been there, done that.
I won't look at it.
Somebody goes, but take a look at it.
I go, for what?
See the same dead gum crater?
That stupid crater, that same crater that's up there?
Waste my time.
JBH, Dusty mentioned gas prices,
and now I'm realizing he was referring to February 2022 gas prices
and not March 2022 prices.
I wonder what his conspiracy take is on the gas increase.
I don't know.
What did I say about gas before?
I don't know, but it probably was pretty conspiracy.
Well, if there was no dinosaurs, where did the gas?
That's true.
Well, that's what I always say too.
I do not believe that our oil is old dinosaurs.
Is that what fossil fuels is? Yeah. Is it? Yeah, it's old dinosaurs. Is that what fossil fuels is?
Yeah.
Is it?
Yeah, it's old dinosaurs.
That's what they say.
It's old dinosaurs.
I was just here.
They call it fossil fuels.
I thought we just agreed to just make up a name.
So it's like some of the-
It's coming from the dinosaur bones?
Yes.
Dinosaur bones make gas.
Some of the dinosaurs turned into oil.
Some we found and rebuilt at a museum.
It's like, come on.
Wait, is this true?
Yeah.
Is that what fossil fuels is?
Should we be using the museums for gas?
Yeah, I mean, well.
Yeah, why not?
Is that why we can't find some?
Like, they're finding apparently a lot of the dinosaur bones.
Fossil fuels are made from decomposing plants and animals.
These fuels are found in the Earth's crust and contain carbon and hydrogen,
which can be burned for energy.
So if you're for hunting, you should just be like,
you should be for it and then leave the deer out there
because you need to fill up your Honda Civic.
Because millions of years from now, that'll be fuel for somebody.
Right.
Why would we research how to speed that up?
Yeah.
So when you get buried, you should just be like, no casket.
Right.
Yeah.
I want to become fuel. If you're. Yeah. I want to become fuel.
If you're really green, I want to become fuel.
And they go, that's going to be a long time from now.
I'll go, I'll wait.
I have the time.
And so just dump me in there.
That's a good point.
That's a really good point.
Maybe we should be going to the cemeteries and then extracting all the people.
God rest their souls.
I want to respect the podcast.
Yeah.
But just taking them all and like
filling up our tanks yes you know i think that's a great idea especially with this gas you know we
don't you know we should be uh what do they say gas dependent i mean i don't know what
energy independence energy independence right yeah uh not gas dependent That's the thing
I don't know
If there's a conspiracy
They're just charging more now
Yeah
Yeah yeah
No they're
And they go
We can't control it
Well because we're running
Out of dinosaurs
Right
Yeah
Yeah
So
Maybe don't
Do any more museums
Because we actually
Need the gas
Maybe that's the
I mean
Now I'm anti-museum
Yeah
How much How much fuel you're wasting.
Bringing people in, yeah.
Yeah, how much dead gum fuel you're wasting
just so I can go look at a Tyrannosaurus Rex nose.
There's going to be no way to get to the museums, right?
Yeah.
And how did those bones...
I guess we'll walk.
How did those bones escape that?
Escape the idea of becoming fuel?
Well, someone grabbed it before it turned into fuel.
Yeah. Oh, so like why did that one that one yeah why did that one not go there because it was probably close yeah
but it was we got it we got it just in time got it just in time uh
it does seem funny to be like say you're a scientist and you eventually just they go
where are we getting fuel from probably just dead dinosaurs dead dinosaurs. They say it a lot smarter.
That's why they create smart.
That's why there's smart words so you don't sound like you're going,
just dead dinosaurs, dead chickens, and stuff like that.
Because that's what you're kind of saying.
And then that tree died.
If you use smart language, it sounds less ridiculous for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This tree in the backyard, it sounds less ridiculous for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, yeah, yeah.
This is a tree.
You know, the tree in the backyard, it's been gone forever,
so I can now go to Publix.
David Hopkins.
I'm a pilot in Denver and wanted to clear up a few things about the conspiracies at the Denver airport.
Sure.
Lucifer is the name of the locals gave the statue
after seeing how evil it looks.
Most people hate the statue and have petitioned to take it down.
One of the biggest reasons people have thought Nazi ideas have been connected to the airport
is because their runway layout is in the form of a swastika.
In reality, it's just a really efficient runway layout that allows for more takeoffs and landings.
Spoken like a true Nazi.
Right.
That's how they always debunk a conspiracy.
They're like, yeah, it looks like a swastika, but this works best for us, you guys.
That makes sense.
I don't know.
I mean, obviously, I see it because I'm told that there's a swastika there, but I don't know if I look at that from the sky and think that's a swastika. No,
you're just looking at the conspiracy idea
of it. It's because you got blues for it.
You can probably turn anything into it if you really
want to. But how less efficient would it
be to just put those four runways
just side by side?
Yeah. Oh.
But someone's got to cross it.
The people can't just be all coming
in the same way, so they got to come like different ways.
Yeah.
Yes, you're right.
I personally think the Star of David is a better design for runways.
David Hopkins.
I'm talking to you, David Hopkins.
Try that one.
Yeah.
Try that one on your heart.
And I don't even think we brought up anything Nazi on the last one.
David Hopkins really brought
in his own conspiracy here well i'm sure we did he starts off pretty arrogant he starts off pretty
arrogant i'm a pilot i'm a pilot you don't know anything i'm a pilot at denver it's like you know
what david calm down i know how to fly a plane so i can debunk all conspiracies right yeah well
he's up there yeah yeah you know yeah what if if he wants to talk to you about the round of the earth?
Yeah.
Because he sees it every day.
I guess he does.
He's up there and he sees the curve.
You actually don't go high enough in a commercial airline to see the curvature of the earth.
Well, I'll listen to David and not Aaron, who's only seen the sky from the back of the plane.
I wonder if David is flying the plane and He has to make an announcement to the Jewish passengers
that they have to land on a Nazi.
He goes, everybody, can we shut the blinds?
We're about to land.
It's just efficient, guys.
No other airport's doing it, but it's efficient here.
It's just really efficient.
I don't know which ad wants to follow that.
This week, so Bates, I think we have Bates.
He worked for us.
He worked last night, helped us.
I was on vacation with Cole, so I know he was doing nothing.
No, I think Cole did something.
He goes.
But we were, so he looked up all the stuff we're talking about today.
What are we talking about?
We're talking about fad diets and exercises.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Fad diet, yeah.
So a big part of this is some of us, you're gardening now, right?
Yes.
That was a big part of it. Yeah. So a big part of this is some of us, you're gardening now, right? Yes. That was a big part of it.
Yeah.
And then Mike, your weirdo that fast and sleeps upside down.
And what else did you do, Mike?
I feel like you gave Dusty a lot of credit, and then you kind of came after me on mine.
You kind of framed it in yours is always been out of the 18 years or whatever it's
been uh you've always been like you've always been on something right well i mean i because i have
a heavy uh i have much like the dinosaurs big bones oh and um dinosaurs why don't you go ahead
and become fuel so there are people looking forward to when you, like, you're like, the doctor's got an eye on you.
Like, they're like, how's he doing?
I'm a tank and a half full.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They go, you're getting us to Ohio.
That's a conspiracy theory.
These oil companies are trying to get Americans fat so that there'll be more fuel when they die.
That's great.
Millions of years from now.
Well, that seems ridiculous.
Does that seem ridiculous that was i just don't know why would you do it for a million years from now like that's
so far away why would you be like yeah let's go that's their kids kids and their kids right i mean
that's so many kids removed that like there's if if he if like if you could ever meet yeah it's like
if i could meet a guy my guy from a million years ago, and he goes, you know, I did that for you.
And you're like, that's cool.
But you'd be like, I don't know if I believe that you're like my guy from a million years.
Like, you'd be too disconnected.
He's like, no, I'm on your mom's side.
You tell me you don't care about Harper's kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.
I can only go a little bit.
Yeah, when does it stop?
Grandkids, and then you're just done?
After a while, you're not even related.
You do want your,
yeah,
you are.
I would say like,
if you could change your family for,
uh,
I don't know,
a hundred years.
Yeah.
Like if you could be like,
I hope our family is your,
your,
your legacy of your family name and your family keeps making it go higher and
higher and higher.
And we're doing the right thing in a hundred years.
And then after a hundred,
I'm like,
if the,
if we get a bad one that crashes down,
you're like,
man,
we're right.
A million years.
You're still relying on me.
Yeah.
Get a work ethic.
Where have you gone?
Yeah.
Right.
I mean,
yeah,
that's a,
you know,
if you come from the T-Rex family and you're out there still just with your
short arms,
it's pretty ludicrous. Aaron, you said that, but using museums as fuel is a great family. Right. And you're out there still just with your short arms. It's pretty ludicrous, Aaron, that you said that.
But using museums as fuel is a great idea.
Yes.
And I think we need to start doing that.
Well, I don't know why we don't do that.
I'd like my bones in a museum.
That's what I'm all about.
I want to donate my bones to a museum.
Go to the body museum.
Yeah.
That's when they do the body exhibit.
Oh, where it's a real body and you flip through the pages?
It's a great...
Is that what happens?
Kurt Metzger got a great
Kurt Metzger joke
where he said,
when they first,
he goes,
when he first heard about it,
he goes,
what is it?
He goes,
oh, it's real people that died
and they have that.
And he goes,
when I first heard about it,
I was like,
wait,
did they catch that guy?
That's why he wouldn't
go to the body exhibit.
He's like a guy
killing all these people.
And he says, yeah, I don't know know the rest of the joke very funny he goes i don't uh
he goes i don't want to go look at a bunch of people that got killed because they googled freedom like they're uh this is pretty intense looking yeah but it shows you like what they're you know
so you're like oh that's what your muscle looks like.
I thought they had a body laid out where it was like cut up and you could flip through.
I'm sure they do.
Oh, like a book.
That's the Alabama Body Museum.
Yeah.
They go, we have to alter it out every now and again.
No, it's like.
I wonder what the gift shop is like.
Here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably a t-shirt.
Yeah, it's a lot of clothing.
Yeah.
You walk in there and you go, do y'all sell coats here?
Like you just feel like you want a coat when you leave?
It's like I've seen too much.
Leather coats.
Everything's sold in layers.
You're like, what do you want, layers?
You go, I would like some layers right now.
So, but yeah, you've been done all the diets.
You used to cut weight when you were a wrestler.
I was a wrestler.
I cut weight.
And yeah, now I'm doing intermittent fasting.
But I had problems with food growing up because I don't know how you guys were raised in your houses.
Whereas you have an emotional dependence on food.
We had that in my family.
Yeah.
You had a food line.
Didn't you have the depression? When were you born?
It's the bread line.
The bread line.
It's not the food line.
Yeah.
It's a buffet.
We have a food line here right now.
So you're confusing a buffet with a bread line.
A food lion?
Yeah, we have a food lion here right now.
Yeah, we have a food lion. Yeah, I'm so dumb.
Do you guys take history classes here in your schools?
Well, we had a food-
It's a subject called history.
Yeah.
Well, you just got bread.
I made it to the world where there's a food line, and it was a variety of things.
So intermittent fasting, I resisted it a long time because when I did wrestle, I had to
cut a lot of weight, and I hated it.
So it's another thing I'm trying, though.
But my point is when growing up, we had to like,
I don't know if you guys had to do this,
where it was like, eat everything on your plate.
Like, we're not wasting food, so eat everything on your plate.
And that's a big, that's not a thing now.
You know, you just, you don't have to eat everything on your plate.
We'll save it for later.
But back then, that was, a lot of the parenting in the 80s
would seem abusive now. but it's just like
it's just like you eat everything on your plate that's just the way it goes so it's like well
i'm full it's like we'll figure it out but it's almost finishing something it almost like trained
you to finish something you think there's a lesson to be learned about just like finishing what you
start i think so i mean i don't you know i don't they didn't do it like i don't ever go back and
get mad at like they didn't do it on purpose they didn't do it. Like, I don't ever go back and get mad at, like, they didn't do it on purpose.
They didn't do it like out of pain.
No, they didn't.
Right.
They did it for a real reason.
Right.
And that they go, back then, you know, it was like people are starving.
Like, you have the luxury of having this dinner.
So eat the dinner.
Don't, it was teaching kids not to be like, you can't, I don't want peas.
Yeah.
And then you're like, there's a kid out there that would kill to have these peas.
Right.
And like, respect the fact that that's even here.
So there's some of that should still be taught.
I'm not saying you have to jam it all down your throat,
but, like, I don't think it's bad to do that.
No, I like the fact that what some parents did where it's like,
okay, you're not going to eat it now?
That's your breakfast then.
You can eat that for breakfast.
But we're going to get the job done.
I don't care if it takes 24 hours or more.
Remember, my dad would frame it as a respect thing for my mom.
Yeah.
He was like, your mom worked hard to make this meal.
You're going to sit here and eat the whole thing.
Yeah.
And that's how he would frame it.
Yeah, that's good.
My father would go into a tirade.
He would go, you're going to eat the meal.
And what do you think this is, a hotel?
You think everything is for free here?
You think you're just getting everything for free? Yeah yeah is that the way you think the world works well we
opened the door yeah we did open the door good night well i i mean everybody talks no one no one
was upset with me i mainly ate cereal i didn't get a lot of nutrition and yeah we didn't have
magic spoon it was a you know an unhealthy cereal yeah we did that too like like when you when you grow up obviously you guys grew up wealthy and yeah when you when you grow up uh with uh with
no money it's like you're eating like we're eating chicken every night like every night's chicken
yeah and then uh you're it's a lot it's cereal it's whatever you know it's the stuff that they
would be the conspiracy of the they market stuff to people that don't have money.
It's just whatever.
Yeah, a lot of stuff in bags and frozen things.
Yeah, sugar.
It's just loaded in.
I think that's what we're talking about.
We ate a lot of Hardee's.
Hardee's was a big deal for us.
Hardee's was great.
That's why now when I go eat food, I like good food and we go eat at it. I don't need to go eat at, like I can, I don't, I just don't, like I like good food and we go eat
at it, but I mean, it could somewhat, I don't need to go eat at a nice restaurant.
It would be wasted on me every time.
Like if I can go sometimes and appreciate it, there's a lot of times you're like, it
would just be wasted.
Like, I don't appreciate this food.
Like someone, you know, like someone that loves food, like Travis, like Travis, like,
you know, they worked in restaurants their whole life.
So Travis like loves food. This is so good good so his relationship with food is like way different
than mine mine's kind of like you're trying to get the job done yeah you're like a five-star
restaurant get the chicken fingers i've been that guy before i've done stuff like that i'm better at
that now i will actually go and like do something but i used to i used to be like that but i've
gotten i've at least gotten a little
bit better with like you know i just steak medium rare like it's like we're very well done with like
the way no ketchup with the steak that kind of stuff yeah no ketchup yeah you know you don't
get ice in your wine right uh what's others when you get a steak now but do you send it back a
couple times just to establish dominance with the staff
yeah
we wait tables
every wine you bring
you just also bring
a glass of ice
because you know
you know that ice
is going in that
that wine
a lot of ranch
bring a lot of ranch
oh yeah
there's a lot of
bring that tub
I wait at tables a lot
people are like
can I get a ranch
you know
and it'd be like
like a farm or you want a side of ranch dressing yeah waited tables a lot. People are like, can I get a ranch? And it'd be like, a farm?
Or you want a side of ranch dressing?
Yeah, they want a lot of ranch.
And you bring out a little ramekin, and they're like, I'm going to need more than that.
Keep them coming.
They give a little one, and you're like, what are we doing here, dude?
What do you think we're going to do with this?
It's good for two fries.
If you go to a buffet restaurant, and they have all the dressings, but all of them are small.
But then the ranch is like a giant tub. You're's happening yeah i know everybody knows the bread's buttered
uh yeah did you so you grew up like cutting weight so you wait that means y'all have to
what was your weight well i mean my senior year, I wrestled in the state tournament at 160,
but when I, you know, I played football and wrestled. So my weight for football was about
190. And so I wrestled most of the year at 171 pounds, but for the tournaments,
I cut another 11 for- Is it because you want to be bigger?
So you want to have the you want to have
the least body fat and the most muscle mass to give yourself the best chance you want to yeah
you know you don't want to be muscled around by somebody because everybody else is cutting down
too so you're basically when you when you wrestle you're trying to fight a weight class below your
natural weight it depends like i'm a if you're like a thick bulky person you gotta cut more you're gonna
have to cut more but if you i i knew guys in college who were real lean guys and just very
naturally close to their weight they just didn't have much to cut yeah man well it just depends
on your body type do you do the uh wrapping a trash bag around your stomach and running and
all that yeah i did all that and and uh but in high high school, you're forced to cut it slower in the right way because you didn't have access.
In college, you had access to a room where you could just go and cut it fast.
And it's pretty painful to cut it fast because you're dehydrating yourself, essentially.
But you have a lot of water weight.
You can cut 10 to 15 pounds of water weight off of your body in a 24-hour period.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From like a sauna, a place like that?
Like a sauna, but the plastic wraps, and then we would seal off the showers,
and just you would bike in the shower while all the showers were on.
Oh, my God.
When you would go to the mall, would you ask your parents to leave you in the car
and roll the windows up?
You're just sitting in the back of the car.
Sir, there's a kid out there, and he and he goes ah he wants to be out there and he he just sits there just trying to did you win
i won in um high school i was i started in ohio and i learned the basics of wrestling in ohio
then moved to florida and took some lumps because our program wasn't as good as the one in Ohio. Ohio has great wrestling. And then, but my senior year, I did well. I played
some states. But Florida was not good wrestling? Florida was not good wrestling. The South is not,
I mean, that's not true. North Carolina is pretty good. Missouri? It depends. Yeah,
Missouri is good. Depends what, if there's college programs in the state. We watch a lot of WWF.
That's why we're like, we're not into that kind right once
we find out that that would have made uh folk style wrestling which is what high school wrestling is
more uh fun yeah storylines grabbing a microphone let me tell you something brother yeah that would
have been made it much much better you know there uh yeah we're i was telling him so he's i saw michael chandler at uh
when we were on vacation this week he was like in the pool and i noticed him he's a ufc fighter
uh great big time fighter and so i saw him and i was like you know like i get excited when i see
a ufc guy so i like talk to him for a second and uh but he like he knows we talk about greg warren
a lot right who's a uh who's a very, very funny comic.
So he's from Missouri.
Greg Warren, people don't know, he's an All-American at Missouri.
Yeah.
Wrestled and his face is on the wall.
Greg Warren's the real.
He's the real deal.
He's unbelievable.
I was not.
I went to Penn State, which we're third in the country when I was there.
But I wrestled for a year, and I was like, okay, I can't do this again.
This is just, I mean, I was exhausted all the time.
Yeah.
It was just, it's like a professional sport.
You know what I mean?
These guys are training.
There's Olympians.
There's guys, you know, these guys are training, like, for the Olympics and stuff.
It's pretty crazy.
Did their, yeah, so, like, but he, like, the fact that he was, it's it's yeah it's pretty crazy did their uh
yeah so like but he like the fact that he was like he was like oh yeah greg's the real but
greg is greg was a great yeah high school wrestler and a great college wrestler yeah yeah
i did you ever go see greg he'll play it he plays it way plays it way it's very humble
it's a very humble guy but it's like this dude was the real real dude he's got cauliflower ears
i think right
doesn't he i mean you can tell once you once you know that you'll see it yeah looking at him
i did a half a year as a wrestler oh half a season wow and i was pretty exhausted yeah what happened
well i the guy in my way i didn't cut any weight and the guy in my weight class was ripped and he
like went second in state right and i had to beat him to get to go to a
tournament right and we were friends yeah and he let me win one time and the coach was like
nah let's do this again yeah i don't know what happened here but let's try that again
that's really great yeah you had like a regular body yeah i was just a regular dude i bet he
liked wrestling you because it was just a little nicer grab.
Yeah, yeah.
You know,
just a hard grab
that's slippery
and it's just,
it was like a nice like,
this is fun.
There's something real humbling
about getting pinned
in an auditorium
full of people.
I don't think people realize
what that's about.
They're like,
oh, you're a wrestler.
It's like,
yeah,
if you,
like some guys
are just unbelievable
and other guys aren't
and I was a guy
who I had to work
very hard to be good. Well, you were was a guy who I had to work very hard.
Well, you were very good.
But I had to work very hard to be good.
Yeah.
But so you take your lumps on, most of us take our lumps on the way up.
Yeah.
And it's just like, you're just,
you're getting pinned in an auditorium full of people who are cheering
either for you or against you.
And it's pretty humbling when another guy.
Looking down on you.
Yeah.
They're looking down.
And it's like, there's no, well, he's heavier than, it's like he's the um well he's heavier than it's like he's the
exact same weight yeah he's the exact same age it's like yeah there's no advantage he just
physically dominated you and held your shoulders down to a mat against your will yeah and there's
really not a lot of prize to winning right like if you win like not a lot of people know like we
just talked about how great greg warren was as a wrestler but no one knows right it's a niche sport so losing is like yeah i wasn't even i didn't even
see in the game well that's where you the losers would go i mean no one's even watching the losers
really really uh play it up but now it's got to be worse because there's you there wasn't you too
i would have been mortified just getting just getting destroyed and then it gets put on youtube oh yeah and then you get five million
did you ever have any youtube do you have any fights worthy of that like did you ever get beat
up like have play go against i had a guy put lift me i was at a tournament in college i went to this
sunshine games in florida and i had a guy i he picked me up in the air and then did that thing where it's like threw a half Nelson in, in the air and pinned me.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's like he was, it was.
That would have been on TikTok.
And then, yeah.
Absolutely.
And then you don't.
Because it didn't last 15 seconds.
Wow.
So.
I mean, and you don't even know what happened.
Like you're just, you think like, oh, it's going good.
Then you're like up in the air, then on the floor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, it's pretty quick.
Like a guy gets in that deep on you. It's like, he's much good then you're like up in the air then on the floor yeah yeah it's like it's pretty quick like a guy gets in that deep on you it's like he's much faster than you and before you
can react you're already like on your back so is it speed or strength like would you feel like
would some people be just like you're like oh this guy's just stronger or is it speed or like
they're it's a combination of both but it's also like um how you handle your butt like you could
tell somebody real experience like the guy we were your butt like you could tell somebody real experience
like the guy we were watching last night you just tell by the way he moves he's so fluid like i was
watching some of the guys when i first went to penn state they were so fluid i was like this just
looks like a different sport than what i'm doing yeah i mean like you have so much experience it's
like somebody doing stand-up for the first time and we've been all doing it for years and years
and they're like well how did you it's like yeah this is just years and years they don't even know how to tell you they just go yeah like you're in
the air going ah i wore trash bags for this yeah that's the other thing too it's like i i said this
on another uh podcast but i i sure people heard it i never uh i never mentally prepared myself the right, because what you do for these tournaments
is you would, in high school anyway, and middle school, you would go and weigh in,
trouble making weight, you weigh in, and then you would go to McDonald's, you would have breakfast,
and you come back and there was a couple hours between the time you ate and the time that you
would have to compete. And in those couple of hours, I would be like,
you know, you just cut a bunch of weight and then you just ate.
So now you're like satisfied and you're kind of like,
what am I doing here?
You know, it's like, I just want to sleep now.
I don't want to do anything.
Whereas the guys who were like great, had mental game would be like,
no, no, no, I'm going to tear through somebody.
Now I'm ready to go.
They would get themselves mentally up and charged. I was too worried about like, I want to win and I'm going to tear through somebody. Now I'm ready to go. They would get themselves mentally up and charged.
I was too worried about like, I want to win and I'm tired.
It's like, no, you can't have that.
You got to be like, all right, now it's time to go.
It's like, let me just like cut through this guy.
Who's my first guy?
I'm going to cut through him.
You think those guys are just wired differently?
No, I think it's a mental.
I think it's, you know, regardless whether you win or lose yeah um you
can have the mental ability to be like no i'm gonna i worked hard for this and this is how i
feel right now but i'm gonna i'm gonna get myself up and i'm gonna go take it to this that means
they would be wired differently but like no i don't think it's wired it's more of a choice
it's a choice it's it's like you can decide to be happy or you could decide to be sad but it's a thing where it's like no i'm gonna decide i cut all this weight i
sacrificed all this i'm gonna go i'm gonna go put it on this guy i'm gonna go have some fun but i
think that it's there is a mental like there's something that makes you want to uh go that crazy
there's something that's not that's like already your path is chosen like almost like
you're they are wired to i thought of it with like drinking with like uh i always think like
gambling and drink is like a good like gambling to me is like how most people would drink where
they're like i could do it i like doing it it's a fun time we go do it i don't need to go do it
if i don't do it for a year i don't care uh but if we'll go to vegas it's like oh yeah let's go
let's i'm excited to do it.
And then you're like, that's the point of going.
But then I can back off.
And where drinking was like sometimes you would be like, all right, well, I would go out and we'd drink.
And I didn't know how to like once I started, it was like, well, it wasn't going to stop.
I would just keep going until it was not like I could go.
And so my relationship with those two things are completely different.
And I always think about that with like because it's like, oh, my with oh my with gambling it's like oh that's i don't have a problem with that
i would never i i don't think i'll ever have a problem with gambling because i don't i don't
care that much about it right and and i was like but that's why i did so you're like you're why
you're you're like i guess like you're wired differently to be like oh i don't know how to
back off of stuff it's either i'm going to do it or not do it like does that make any sense it does but i think that what you're talking about is like you
getting more into like an addiction thing where it's like i'm addicted to this feeling instead
of like mental like i committed to this thing and now i'm it's gonna this thing is gonna happen
what you know it's gonna it's scheduled to happen and it's gonna happen now what kind of mindset am
i going to take into this thing i did i took a mindset in where it's like i want to win i'm
gonna go out there it's like i was cautious i was defensive it's like that's not the right way to go
out there if i had to do it over again the right way to go out there is like i'm gonna let it go
like the way you do like i'm gonna go out there and just let it go well it's like i trained for
this it's like the one is like a little different like you would
see these ufc guys and you think like they get something in an arm bar and you're like you might
break their arm and they're fine with breaking that person's arm where most people be like i'm
not gonna i can't i don't want to feel your yeah and they are like i want to feel it so if you
don't want to tap i will just break it in front of everybody and like that want to like there's
something that's like that makes that person like that's all they think about think about with
comedy like with comedy with so with wrestling was like it seems like you have the want and the
talent and everything to get to basically the highest level that you can get to and then but
then there's a separation of going like the way you want comedy is the way those guys want wrestling
and so you're willing to give up everything for comedy and go down this road and like go do But then there's a separation of going like the way you want comedy is the way those guys want wrestling.
And so you're willing to give up everything for comedy and go down this road and go do the worst of the worst and do all this kind of stuff.
And in wrestling, there's at least maybe a voice in the back of your head that's like, I mean, what are we doing here?
At least some hesitation.
That's why I think you have the wiring to be that. But didn't but i don't know if it's for wrestling it's for but for wrestling let's just take wrestling i didn't know
that that mental i didn't know that that existed i didn't know that i wasn't aware of it it's like
oh this is you prepared yourself physically for this but it's like you didn't prepare yourself
mentally for what's going to happen out there so it it's like there was a way to do that.
And if you want to be successful, you'll subscribe to that way to do it.
But I wasn't even aware that there's a way to do it.
I agree with that.
I wasn't aware to – I wish I was – that's the only thing about back in high school.
I wish I would have been more aware.
I'm always amazed when I hear kids.
They talk about their plans and where they're going to go to college.
And I'm like, I wasn't even, I was just, I was day by day.
I went to school that day.
I went home.
And then the next day I went to school.
Like, I never thought forward.
And so I never did that.
And then it wasn't until comedy that I was like, oh, and I, like, grasped onto this thing that I was like, well, I will, I became obsessive over it.
And so maybe it's like, that's what you got to do. You got to find your thing that's obsessive,
whether it's wrestling, it doesn't have to be a entertainment aspect to it or something.
It can be whatever it's your business or it's, I mean, it could be marketing. It could be,
but I want my own marketing. Like it's the obsessiveness of being like, I want to be,
you got to find whatever can make you whatever like when you're no matter what
you're doing you're always thinking about it and you're always like you know you don't if you turn
your brain off and be like oh i clock out i'm done working like that's it when you're a pesticide job
you're like you don't care like you're you can you're ready to go so it's like you you gotta
almost like see well what's your thing that's going to be like, I'll do this for the rest of my life.
I'll do it for free.
Right.
And you don't want to do it for free,
but when you have the mindset of doing something,
like these wrestlers would be like,
they'll just wrestle a dude in this parking lot.
They just have to do it.
Right.
But there's something to be said for like, you're committed to comedy,
but there's that, we've all done late night sets,
so it's a good example.
Like a late night set is what, oh, it's coming.
It's coming.
I've done the CW.
It's coming.
Yeah, he's done TV sets.
You know, CW.
A lot known for comedy.
Go ahead.
But it's like we're all committed to comedy, you know what I mean?
But when you have that thing where it's like, you know like a late night set, it's like a pressure buildup.
So it's like, okay, I have to break this down and mentally prepare myself to go out there and be loose and have a good – that's kind of like what a wrestling match is.
And we all have to go through those steps.
And there's like – when you're waiting to go on there's waves of anxiety
that come over you and it's like should i even be here it's like what do i even remember my set
what you know there's a doubt that creeps in and all this stuff so that's you know but now we all
have a way to mentally it's still tough it's still difficult but it's we have a mental yeah a way to
prepare for that yeah and uh in in competing sports, it's kind of like that too.
But I just didn't, you know, I didn't have it.
I think the payoff too, though.
With late night, like, you know what the payoff is going to be,
at least to some degree, if it goes well.
But with wrestling, again, I'm like, what is the payoff if you win, you know?
Well, it feels.
Crushed a man's family name yeah that's really kind of
what it is yeah now you it's not crushing it but it's like watch look i train father cry
right right i i trained for this you put such sacrifice into it wrestling's a huge sacrifice
no one very few guys actually love the process you know what i mean it's it's a brutal
process but winning is and i played football i loved football but like winning an individual
sport like that it's exhilarating it's like common we're doing good in comedy you're like i'm alone
right like there's a there's a there's an awesomeness to it that's like dude i'm by myself
with this yeah no one's you know here right it's great right there uh i get that mind the
mindset of i was uh what was the thing about like i think i've never like thought too far and i think
when you're becoming obsessed with the two it's about like they're only like i would think the
wrestlers and i think it would stand up as like you're only thinking about that fight and like
so you're only like that's what you see what happens with football teams where they lose or
in march madness they lose because they they kind of look past someone and it's like that's the part
of a mental aspect is like really being like do the thing that you're doing at that moment don't
worry about what it's going to become and lead yeah if you don't do this it will not become this
right and so that's a constant reminder.
That's something that we talked about earlier about working on is like being the moment,
like try to, when you're telling jokes on stage, really be in the moment. You're like,
nothing will come good if this does not go good. I can dream all day. I have 23 hours of a day to
dream. And when I have one hour of that stage uh that needs to be
because those dreams have no chance if i don't deliver for that one hour and you got to train
yourself to like do that you know you put yourself in a mental state to be effective there and i
never it's like um i think a quarterback is amazing because it's like they can't be concerned
about the last play it's like the last play was a disaster it's like i can't be concerned about the last play. It's like the last play was a disaster. It's like I got to forget about it and just become a different guy now.
I got to be aware of that.
I want to win the Super Bowl.
It's like the Patriots-Falcons.
That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen pretty much sports.
Them just like little by little just taking each situation
and just like if there was a bad play, just forget about it.
I mean they there was,
they were down 28,
nothing or whatever it was.
It's just like taking it one step,
one step at a time,
one step at a time,
bad play,
forget about it.
It's like,
what's the down and distance?
Like it's the definition of being in the present moment.
Basically.
If you're in the present moment in anything,
you're,
you got a leg above,
unless the other guy's also in the present moment,
then he's
better than you but if but like just being in the moment is your your because your focus is there
and so much people's focus is your mind's a million different areas and if you can train
your mind to get in that moment i mean it's you're you're going to be pretty great at what you're
doing because you're you're only thinking about that like that's that is a great with the tom brady and them coming back
like that is like that's you could tell the falcons your borderline like yo dude we're gonna
like we might win by 50 yeah and then so they even that kind of dreamy kind of like you're half like
and then they get to go and go this is the only thing that matters
is today right who cares about where this is going to lead the whatever it doesn't matter
none of this stuff happens whether you do all that matters is right this right what's the down
getting that down like just get this this is what we got this one play yeah what if this one plays
great let's try to make it great and then's like, but that is draining to do that.
And so like, that's a gigantic like training to just mentally, you know, just to keep pulling
yourself back into the moment is, I mean, that's insane.
And that's why new jokes are more exciting than old jokes too.
Even if the old joke is great, you get into that muscle memory of just oh i know how this
goes but i know a new joke you're like discovering right so if you if you hit a new line that you
haven't told before and it's like and it pops you're like oh this is exciting right but you
know all the laughs of an old joke right but that i try to sometimes change up even little words
words that don't really matter in the joke like the ands the these or the rhythms or it's like sometimes those change a little bit of my jokes and that's to kind of
give you that oh yeah like just so even when i'm telling an older joke i kind of say it like it's
a little different it's not the the main points are all there i don't know if a person saw both
would even think they're different but to me in my head it's like well the other day i went over
like i might say i usually would say like oh i went to the my head it's like well the other day i went over like i might say
i usually would say like oh i went to the mall and then i say well the other day i went to the
mall and like it's that simple of a thing and but it's like because i set it up with that rhythm
well now it's all kind of like you're kind of off balance because you're like it's not i'm just not
stuck in the same you know and so you just change it up a little bit like that to kind of keep you
like you know refocused yeah be in the moment that's a good idea but because the rhythm of
success gets addictive if you're like oh this rhythm i know i know it works i know what reaction
it gets and it's the best reaction so let me keep this rhythm well you should go well how do i make
it better it's like but then it's like, I figured it out for that.
For those words, that success worked.
That doesn't mean it works for the next success.
So then the new words that come, the new jokes, you're like, well, now I've got to build a whole new.
It's like everything's got to keep, and you've got to keep that mindset.
And that's when comics get stuck and they do the same act for 50 years.
Because they go, yeah, it works.
And it still does work.
And you get laughs. But it's always just, you built it up to this high level.
And then you just ride it out.
And it's like, it just didn't know, you know, people come less and less to see you.
And you have a good life and you do stuff, but you don't, you just, you never make it to the, I don't know where they want it to make it.
And you quit working on writing jokes.
So you forget how to write jokes.
Yeah.
So when you start to write a joke again, you're like back at –
Right.
I'm like an open mic level trying to write a joke.
You can regress probably.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it's about being funny, you being funny.
Right.
You've got to learn the years it takes to learn for you to be funny,
what makes you funny, where the jokes can be funny, but you funny where it's the the jokes can be funny
but you can be unlikable you can be a lot of things and what is you what is what is funny
about you when people watch you what are they like god this guy's just anything he says i think
is funny you're like that's what takes a long time to figure out right what that is and i don't even
know there's an answer like you just go i don't know man it's like whatever it is it is it's hard
to describe but it's, you know,
it's, uh, I'm not saying about me, but I'm saying like, I could, I don't know. There's not like a
trick that you go like, well, it's this little thing. I think there's no trick. I think you've
become really good at something and you try to explain it back to someone. They're going to be
like, I don't, I don't really know how to get exactly. I'll tell you what I think about,
but I don't know. There's not a, there's not not a map dude like you got to go do it on your own right yeah it's all about stage time i mean just the
more you're up there the more you're like in the and then and then weird situations i find that i
get better if i do worse clubs yeah where people yell at me and and i'm like i'm stronger now
because that lady laughed at all the weird times and i couldn't make her stop laughing because
well she is laughing that just happened to me a lady would just laugh at setups
but so loud and i'm like i'm glad that you're having a good time but i wish you'd like laugh
in the right places right yeah make me earn it a little bit yeah yeah or would you get those
crowds a lot of times that you have to win over. You know what I mean?
It's like they're not really there to see me.
So it's like, and they're just kind of like in that phase.
It's like you got to, and you're losing.
Like you're losing.
And I used to get angry at them.
But now it's like kind of a thing.
It's like, all right, this already is what it is.
So why not have some fun with it?
Because I find if I'm having fun it's hard for
them not to have fun right you know i mean it's like it's like let me and and and the easy thing
to do and when i was younger comic i did it and probably a lot of people in that situation is to
go to the crowd and do crowd work and have them pull you off what you're trying to do but the
right thing to do is to stay the course and stay with your material and bring them into it.
Slowly claw and bring them into it instead of just giving up the ship and going, I just don't want to bomb.
It's like, no, no, no.
Stay the course and just keep coming at them with your jokes in a playful, loose way and bring them into what you're doing.
Yep.
So fad, diets, and exercise.
We got all. it's all related we're talking about discipline and focus and trying to improve yourself so we've got kind of you want to just do like a run through of just
years of different different stuff 1925 the lucky strike cigarette brand launches the Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet campaign.
They were trying to get people to move to nicotine instead of an unhealthy snack.
Their slogan, Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet, the ads were designed to prey on female insecurities about weight and diet and helped usher in a wave of tobacco marketing targeted towards women.
Probably worked. I will say that I read some of these last night, and that's my favorite one. diet and helped usher in a wave of tobacco marketing targeted towards women probably
worked i will say that i read some of these last night and that's my favorite one yeah i mean i'm
all about that let's smoke instead of eat yeah i mean i would imagine that work that's people
quit smoking they get fat yeah yeah but it's like yeah you're just constantly got you're doing
something so you're just like it kind of keeps your appetite. I mean, besides the unhealthiness of smoking, you're like, I mean, it's true.
It would make you scared.
I mean, I've been there.
I've been there with that.
You're just smoking.
You're like, you don't even want to eat.
You're like, I'm drinking.
I got a good buzz going.
I'm smoking a lot of cigarettes.
It's like, we'll eat before we pass out.
Yeah.
Yeah, you probably – I would do this where I just kind of build these little incentive programs with myself instead of like if I don't get McDonald's on the way home, then I'll treat myself in this other way.
Yeah.
I'd probably – I would have to set up little roadblocks like that for myself.
Reward system.
Yeah, yeah.
What would your reward – if you don't get McDonald's, do you eat ice cream at home?
No, no, no. it wouldn't even be it wouldn't even be food it would be something totally different smoking two cigarettes i don't get mcdonald's i'm allowing myself to smoke inside yeah i'm
gonna stay up a little later tonight yeah yeah yeah okay so that's 1925 a few years later the
grapefruit diet comes out, which I know.
I know from the Weird Al song, grapefruit diet.
I didn't know this was a real diet.
It's also called the Hollywood diet.
You just eat a grapefruit with every meal, apparently.
Have y'all heard of this?
No, you eat whatever you want and then also eat a grapefruit?
That's the way Brian wrote this out.
Wow.
Wow.
My wife described herself as a grapefruit the other day.
She said that, you know, I'm like a grapefruit. other day she said that you know i'm like a
grapefruit it's a real hard exterior you got to get in there and then once you get in there there's a
another tough layer to feel out and then when you finally get to the fruit it's bitter and sour
that's a tough sell. You always wonder about it.
So you keep coming back.
You're always like, oh, something pulls you to it.
The 1963 Weight Watchers is founded by Jean Nidecht,
a self-described overweight housewife obsessed with cookies.
Started Weight Watchers.
Still around.
Still pretty active.
Oh, well, that's good. Yeah, Weight Watchers is Still around. Still pretty active. Oh, well, that's good. Weight Watchers
is the key.
That's the big one.
That's the points. And the Weight Watchers
is directly at odds with the Girl Scouts.
Oddly enough.
Because the Girl Scouts are trying to give you
cookies and Weight Watchers.
So that's like...
I mean, yeah.
I mean, the bad ones I think need explaining.
But it's.
So they're.
No.
I'd like to see they both come knock on your door and they're both.
They just both turn down the driveway together and they're like.
And you're like, hey.
You're like, who wants to go first?
You're like.
It's hard.
It's tough to follow.
Yeah.
You know.
I imagine I'd let the girl scouts go
first i'm like i don't want to you know maybe it's tough to follow but you'd like at least i
got an angle right i don't know if weight watchers goes door to door like jehovah's witness just
looking for fat people in neighborhoods there you go they go they see you saw you out in the yard earlier you can drop a couple beep beep
how you doing
Nate Bargetzi
Weight Watchers
saw you had a tough time
getting up those two steps
and I thought
we were talking about
watching that weight
a little bit
like that would be
so funny to see
Weight Watchers
they have to go
why are you picking me
they just go by
yeah
they just look at the outside
what your house looks like.
Got a lot of stuff in the yard.
You got a flag hanging.
You got an Alabama flag.
They're like, they just bang on their door.
Didn't even see them.
Roll Tide anywhere.
Roll Tide anywhere.
They're not going to go, hello.
They go, exactly.
See what I mean?
That's what you, if you ever have white watchers come in,
they go, see what I'm talking about?
And you're like,
what does that mean?
You're like,
they had,
he goes,
look at this family,
you know,
see a van parked out front.
A minivan.
A minivan.
And then they go,
I don't know,
should we knock on the door?
It could be a mom.
He goes,
no,
no,
it's a guy that lives alone.
It's Aaron,
they go.
Tires are a little flat.
A little flat.
He enters only through the...
The sliding door.
He goes to the front like it's a cockpit.
And they go, oh, wow.
I forgot.
They made that joke that I need to enter my minivan from the sliding doors.
Oh, yeah.
I think about that all the time.
You should do it all the time.
As you walk to it, it opens.
You just walk in, go sit like a cockpit.
I would make your front doors not even be able to open.
Yeah, barricade them shut.
Yeah.
That'd be one way to do it.
1977 Slim Fast comes out.
Have I heard of this?
A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, then a sensible dinner becomes a diet.
You've not heard of Slim Fast?
I have heard of Slim Fast.
Oh, okay.
I thought you said you had not.
Yeah, it's like a shake for lunch, dinner.
I mean, it's like all the diets are just like, yeah, dude, just don't eat like a lunatic.
Just eat less.
I mean, but for part of your diet to be then a sensible dinner is like, well, that's going to go off the rails pretty quick.
Yeah, what if we just did sensible all meals?
I would say do a sensible breakfast and then do your lunch and dinner
that's what i i think you got to be look you can wake up and be a lunatic if you're going to do a
diet but then you got to be good then from there yeah i mean that's what they say but the problem
is eating a huge breakfast is that your energy dips then and you're inefficient the rest of the
day so it doesn't really help if you eat a huge breakfast and then you're like i'm just gonna
take a nap yeah but then you drink the shake but how are you feeling are you going to be
efficient with your day after a big breakfast yeah i mean i think you know you're going to be i mean
i guess you know all right mike i'm sorry from the slim fast
mike slim yeah i didn't know you're going to be nonsensical about it.
In the eighties,
John Reap talked about this when he was on the episode,
a popular appetite suppressing candy called AIDS was A Y D S.
Yeah.
Was taken off the market.
Right before.
Yeah.
As soon as the AIDS crisis hit,
they,
they took it off the shelves.
They got hurt.
God,
what are the odds?
And then first aid was like, they're like, are y'all going to go too?
No, no, we're still good.
We're here first.
We didn't rely on it.
First is in the name.
It's like we got so much stuff in there.
But why did y'all just go with the name AIDS?
Why did they call AIDS AIDS?
Autoimmune deficiency. it's an acronym yeah
yeah that's tough and they're like we're not even using the i you know they had to talk about it
because what's a why and they go but it's it's just not it's pronounced the same it's pronounced
the same you want to lose weight get aids yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah, they go, I mean, no slogan works.
Like, no, yeah.
Nothing works at all.
AIDS, the better one.
The better one, yeah. The better AIDS.
That works.
Especially because the other AIDS, you lose weight as well, right?
Yeah.
I mean, it kind of has the same effect.
1982, the aerobics craze starts kicking to high gear.
Jane Fonda launches her first exercise workout called Workout Starring Jane Fonda.
Her catchphrase, no pain, no gain.
Yeah.
She started that?
That's what this says, according to this.
I love that aerobics is a fat.
Like, that's working out, right?
Yeah.
It's like moving your body.
Well, I think it's probably watching this kind of thing.
Yeah, but there's a scene in your head when you hear aerobics,
right.
I've just a bunch of,
you know,
they're basically do anything.
You will lose weight.
That's all like all this stuff is like,
that's why this stuff kind of can keep going.
Cause you're like,
yeah,
just do something.
And then it's,
you're going to lose weight,
but it's hard to,
but you,
you want mentally,
you want to like,
it's easier to wrap your head around like a specific way. Like it's just, that's why you think you go, mentally, you want to, like, it's easier to wrap your head around, like, a specific way.
Like, it's just, that's the way you think.
You go, well, if you give me some way to do it.
Oh, yeah.
It's a goal, almost, you know.
My mom used to watch a lady named, like, Susan Powers or something like that.
You remember that lady?
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Susan Powers.
What did she do?
Just dance?
Yeah, you don't remember her?
She had the short blonde hair.
That's not her. None of those are her, I don't think. I don't think it's Susan Powers. What did she do? Just dance? Yeah. You don't remember her? She had the short blonde hair. That's not her.
None of those are her.
I don't think.
I don't think it's Susan Powers.
It's Susan.
Powders, maybe.
No, no, no.
Do weight loss.
Yeah, workout.
Is it?
Okay, here she is.
Okay.
But that's not.
A little bit.
I don't even remember.
She's got short blonde hair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I thought she looks like someone.
Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
All right. Powder. Is there another Susan blonde hair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought she looks like someone else. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. All right.
Powder.
Is there another Susan blonde hair that was famous?
Maybe she was in...
Sarandon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
But as long as we're on this, I just want to point a reference that when you did it
in your Netflix half hour that we stayed next to Richard Simmons.
Yes.
And he's, I think there's a whole thing where they think his maid is keeping him inside.
Yeah.
Still.
And he's trying to get out.
Oh.
But she's like keeping him something inside.
But he said every once in a while when these allegations reach a boiling point, he'll pop
out and go, I'm fine, and I'm doing this willingly.
And then he'll go back in.
Yeah.
I've been following the story.
What do you think?
Do you believe it?
That house, since we stayed in that house, I've been following the story.
Do you believe him?
Do you think he's okay?
No, I think he's under some kind of a spell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He probably burns a lot of calories.
Yeah, that is crazy.
What's he doing?
He's still alive. And he's still, like I said, he'll pop out once in a while and go i'm fine there's no problem here but it's like somebody i don't know if it's the house i don't know if somebody has
control over his finances yeah where is the free richard simmons campaign yeah you know that free
britain i mean we freed Britney yeah we freed Britney
let's free Richard
let's free Richard now
he did
yeah it was
when we
we taped
the stand-ups
yeah
and then so
it was me
Vecchione Soder
we all just
did like an Airbnb
and it was like
this awesome house
and then
someone else
might have been there
I don't know
like
but it's
Travis came byvis came by but
then we were like then uh but rich simmons i mean the house next door right the house next door to
us and we so we just and it was right when all this was going like it started now people don't
talk about it that much now but it was on the cover of people magazine yeah yeah yeah yeah so
it's a big story we never saw never came out wow yeah well
very few guys are that famous that in your face and then they just stop yeah right so i think
that's probably why people are yeah yeah 83 after the jane fonda riding that crazy jazzercise i
don't know a whole lot about jazzercise i mean i guess i remember the name yeah do you know a lot
about jazzercise i don't know much about it's- I remember the name. Yeah. Do you know a lot about Jazzercise? I don't know much about it, but the name was pretty, it was a big thing.
Yeah.
Jazzercise.
I feel like that's a word used in jokes a lot, I feel like.
Jazzercise.
It's a good punchline word.
What are you doing, Jazzercise?
Yeah.
There's something.
Yeah.
1991, Americans start to go low fat.
There's a little bit of a craze right there.
McDonald's comes out with the McLean Deluxe Burger.
I remember that. Anybody remember the McLean? Yeah, I do i remember that anybody remember the mclean yeah yeah i remember it i don't remember the mclean
yeah i remember it i don't know i can't tell if i ever i don't remember i ever had it like i was
younger so i don't know if i would have ever i will say it looks disgusting yeah 91 fat free
yeah give me a big juicy burger with lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and onions.
Hold the fat.
Hold the fat.
Yep.
They've always had great advertising at McDonald's.
Yeah, man.
They're just the best.
The McLean.
1992, the Atkins diet comes out.
Yes.
Now we're talking.
Now you're a big Atkins guy.
I did it for a while, and it really worked.
It really worked.
But then you'll start overeating on that, and then it's a disaster.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you start going, I can have some rice here.
I can have a thing here.
And it's like I started overeating on that.
I just don't know if that's sustainable long term, but it did help me lose weight.
And everybody I've talked to is like, yeah, it's just meat and vegetables, basically.
And no carbs.
Oh, I remember that, yeah.
So it does initially, but then if you cheat on it.
Yeah, everybody loses weight, and then the moment they go back to bread, they blow up.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Are a lot of these designed to be sustainable in the way you're just saying, or are a lot of them, this will just get you down to a certain weight?
You think somebody is just like, I'm going to do the Akinzite the rest of my life.
I'm just going to.
I don't know.
I started thinking long term.
I was like, people are like, you can't do this forever.
It's like, I don't think you can.
I don't think you can realistically.
You're doing intermittent fasting right now?
Intermittent fasting is good because it's it's there's some pain in it it's like okay you're overweight or you don't okay you got to
stop you got to stop eating you know what i mean like just do one meal but you're not going to do
intermittent fasting for the rest of your life you don't think i'll do it if uh it's a good thing to
do if you're like oh it's getting away from me it's like getting like my weight is starting to
get away from me and it's like oh i i know how to i know how to do this now oh, it's getting away from me. It's like my weight is starting to get away from me. And it's like, oh, I know how to do this now.
But there is a little bit of suffering involved in it.
Yeah, there's almost a mindless.
That's where Aaron did.
It's like almost kind of a mindless way to do it, which is good.
It's like he'll eat when he goes and eats with us.
He'll either be not eating at the table, or he'll go eat he goes and eats with us. Like he'll either be not eating at the table or he'll go eat with us and eats a normal, like eats with us.
Like you'll be like, oh, what's your special?
I'll try that.
Like, you know, and so you're getting to do a mix of both.
You just have a feeding window.
Right.
As we call it.
It's crazy to think that it wasn't until 1994 that the Guide to Nutrition Labeling and Education Act required food companies to put nutritional info in all their packaging.
Before 1994, you didn't have to do that, evidently.
It was just the back was empty.
You put whatever you want on there.
Some jokes or something.
Crossword puzzle or something.
Cartoons.
Yeah, the back of the cereal box used to have a lot of fun things.
Before a phone, I would eat cereal and just – You watch it. Or you read the back of the cereal box used to have a lot of fun things before a phone
I would eat cereal
and just
you watch it
or you read the back
yeah
for
oh that was the best
3D glasses
I hope kids still do that
I think they still have
some stuff on the back
there's still stuff on the back
yeah there was
there was not much better
than that
like
getting to eat cereal
and just read the
back of a cereal box
what was your cereal
it's working the brain
huh
what was it
I don't even remember we Honey Nut Cheerios I think was probably the most and just read the back of a cereal box. What was your cereal? It's working the brain. Huh? What was it?
I don't even remember.
Honey Nut Cheerios, I think, was probably the most.
Did the bee get you?
No.
Suck you in or flavor?
Yeah.
No.
We loved it, though.
Yeah.
I think we ate it the most.
My dad used to make me have to throw it away in the toilet.
And I remember that was, that would make me, that almost got me off cereal cereal i couldn't even i would almost i'll throw up every time why did you have to throw in the toilet i don't know uh no one
ever really asked him no one ever like if you didn't finish it off if you didn't finish it oh
yeah because you couldn't throw it in and we didn't have a garbage garbage disposal oh yeah
so it would go throw it in the toilet and then then flush it. But I would almost – I would not eat cereal because I would vomit.
Like the idea of seeing cereal go into the toilet and flush it,
I was like –
Oh, with the milk and everything too?
Oh, my God.
Is that Tennessee potty training?
What about the toy?
Would you dig right in for it or save it until it fell out on the bowl?
You would always say you should save it, but I'd always dig in. I would save it. Really for it or save it till it fell out on the bowl you would always say you should save it but i'd always dig in i would save it really i would save it yeah dusty what was
y'all gonna have christmas yeah yeah a little bit at a time dusty what was your cereal uh we i ate
so many there was can i guess yeah super sugar crisp you look like a super i love sugar crisp
yeah i do love Sugar Crisp.
Golden Crisp was another one.
Yeah.
It was the frog.
Yeah.
I like the frog.
The smacks. Smack them.
Smacks.
Yeah.
Sugar Smacks.
Super Sugar Smacks.
Yeah.
That's what it was called.
Frosted Flakes too.
Frosted Flakes.
Frosted Flakes was the worst to pour in the toilet because it gets soggy.
Oh, yeah.
Would you not flush it right away or would you?
You would, but just the, even the two seconds of i mean i only did cereal
based on what i had to flush down like what was the easiest to flush down the toilet was that's
how i chose my cereal i threw up corn pops one time you remember that cereal yeah i made like
a corn pop pie the way that i just ate it and then threw it up and it just kind of made a
nice little corn i'm a big honey nut cheerios fan. I love Frosted Flakes.
You have a window of about a minute, a minute and a half to eat them,
all for them to be good.
They get super soggy fast.
But, man, when they're crispy, Frosted Flakes are unreal.
I like a little bit of sogginess in there.
I don't know.
But I like –
Frosted many-wheats are a good one.
Cereal is just –
Yeah, cereal is –
That's a good one. I don't know about I like – Frosted many-wheat cereal. That's a good one.
I don't know about that.
Those are Bales.
I like to crunch up a few at the bottom just to have some.
Those are – yeah, it's like eating hay.
Yeah.
What about Captain Crunch?
Nobody supports that.
Yeah, I like Captain Crunch.
I like peanut butter.
It doesn't get on your teeth.
Peanut butter Captain Crunch.
Peanut butter Captain Crunch.
Yeah.
We would get the big Malto meal, those big bags.
It always made us laugh where the name was slightly different.
Instead of Cocoa Krispies, we used to always have Cocoa Dino Bites.
And that was the cereal, dude.
We'd just tear through those bags every morning.
Yeah, cereal's great.
It's awesome, man.
It's a great invention.
Yeah, I ate so much cereal.
We never did the bags.
That's why we probably lived in a trailer
we spent too much on cereal you know we were never a big bag people either we were we did uh we would
do name brand yeah and which was nice my parents did a great job of that because i mean people
talk about bags so you're like i mean that's the worst yeah when you have money you don't mind
looking poor when you're poor you're like no no no we do name brands yeah we do just for cereal yeah yeah yeah 2000 bugle boys but we're i think we yeah we drink google boys
i think we drank rc but yeah our cereal was you know we we display your cereal put it out on the
mantel let people know you know just uh yeah i mean it goes on the fridge it's not in there it's on
you lay it out
and go like
yeah we're doing alright
instead of books
on a bookshelf
you just got all this
box of cereal
name brand
Fruit Loops
Lucky Charms
yeah we're doing alright
we need that to
you know balance
honeycombs
Count Chocula
Frankenberry
I never got into the chocolates
no
really?
Coco Puffs
too scary for you yeah
coco puffs he believes in dracula too much
2001 dr lauren cardane cordain wrote the book uh called the paleo diet
oh yeah claiming that by eating like our prehistoric ancestors will be leaner and
less likely to get diabetes,
heart disease, cancer, and
other health problems. Yeah, you die at 30, but
there you go.
Yeah. No, it definitely would if
you ate. I mean, I think if you ate,
so you're gardening?
You're making your own food? Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm growing some stuff.
What do you got out there? Well, it's new.
Spring's just hit, so I got some tomatoes, cucumbers that I'm working on.
I got peppers, green peppers, yellow peppers, red peppers, jalapenos.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I'm trying to do an herb garden.
I got some thyme growing, some basil.
You got thyme growing?
Carrots I struggle with.
What'd you have?
Thyme.
You have some thyme growing? Yeah, like struggle with, but. What'd you have? Thyme. You have some thyme? Yeah.
Growing.
Yeah.
Like the herb.
Oh.
Yeah.
Man, I didn't know there was an herb called thyme.
Yeah.
Spelled thyme.
Oh.
You've seen that.
Yeah, she'd say thyme.
They say thyme?
They tell me it's pronounced thyme.
I would say.
I mean, I agree with you.
I would start saying thyme more.
Yeah, I agree with you.
That didn't make sense.
You have thyme time growing i was like
dude what kind of garden yeah what is it the future is it's great you're like how much experience are you that you're growing time it's context i figured out how to make it work he goes
i'm a time traveler the herb oh you're herb. Oh, you're a fine traveler.
Fine traveler.
Yeah, I mean, I agree.
I mean, I always get tripped up with stuff like the gyro.
They're always, I'm like, is it a gyro or a gyro or a gyro?
Gyro.
It's like, I went to New York City, though, one time, my first time ever, and I just pointed to it, and the guy goes, the gyro.
And then I'm like, well, it's New York City.
He's got to be right.
So you've been calling it gyro. Yeah, gyro and then i'm like well it's new york city he's got to be right yeah so you can call it gyro yeah and then every but i'm very insecure about it yeah maybe my biggest insecurity is the gyro well the bigger insecurity is what kind of meat it actually is
yeah well that's true lamb right i say it's lamb but but who knows where people say a lot of things
we said dinosaurs didn't exist i've never seen a lamb i've only seen sheep yeah it's a lamb but who knows people say a lot of things we said dinosaurs
didn't exist
I've never seen a lamb
I've only seen sheep
where's the lamb at
yeah
that's true
where's the lamb at
tell me the last time
you walked by a lamb
I've never seen a lamb
I don't think
where's the lamb
I see full blown sheep
full blown
yeah
is a lamb
baby sheep
I don't know
who knows
that makes a year
I'll seem pretty cruel we've never seen we don't know. Who knows? That makes a year or so pretty cruel.
We've never seen, we don't know where these lambs are.
No one ever goes, you know what?
I drove by a house of lambs the other day.
That is true.
You don't hear of a lamb farmer.
What's going on with lambs?
Lambs are not, what are going on with the lambs?
Yeah.
What's the difference between lamb and sheep?
Lamb, live sheep before the age of one.
Good, nice.
Awesome.
A gyro.
So maybe we do need to at least respect the name a little bit,
the fact that we're eating this thing pretty quickly.
Yeah, baby sheep.
Maybe that's why we don't see lamb.
You don't have time to see them.
I mean, they're...
Yeah.
They either grow up or we're eating them.
I mean, to be a lamb, it's a rough life.
You're either born, you're like, all right, you're either going to get eaten or you're going to be a coat.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Those are your two options.
And who makes the choice?
The shepherd.
The shepherd.
The shepherd makes the choice.
The shepherd makes the choice.
You will all be eaten, and they're like, oh.
And then they go, you will be coat.
Really a much harder person
than you think about the shepherd you gotta make that decision yeah you're gonna die you're gonna
have an embarrassing haircut yeah yeah yes that's true right you're gonna feel cold you're gonna be
like just walk around winter and you're like why don't you do it it's freezing out here and he's
just a sheep with no fur and he's just, you're lucky you're not a sandwich.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He goes, you could have been a sandwich.
He goes, I know.
I appreciate it that I'm not.
But why would you not just cut our hair like in the summer?
Like it's cold.
Have you seen, this is a picture of a, it's kind of hard to look at.
It's a sheep that got lost.
Yeah.
And they weren't able to shear it for, I think, years it came back and this is what it looked like this is why you have to you have to
just grow i mean that's all just disgusted wool that's like a rastafarian sheep oh then they got
it yeah it's almost like dreadlock so that's why they do that's the before and after yeah yeah but i said this was
75 pounds of wool that's just carrying around on its back the whole time so it's probably strong
well maybe he doesn't look strong in the after i bet he could dunk right when he got it off
like just the fact that his calves are jacked after that like he just goes he runs through
touches the top of the barn door and and they're like, look at you.
He goes, you're like a new man.
He couldn't even see.
The hair was just.
No.
Yeah, that wool cover up the eyes on him.
That's why he got lost.
Oh, no.
I don't know why.
Imagine when you don't have fingers and you can't get your hair out of your face.
You just are like, oh, no.
And it's such a slow every day just
like here we go here every day you wake up and just go there there it goes all right i guess
left side's gone i was winged through it you know and you're then they weirdly only walk on like
sharp sides of mountains like they won't like sheep are never just you never you know like hey man why don't
you find like a flat area before you can't see and he's like ah because i've been on this mountain for
side of it it's the steepest mountain that's what they do right or is it rams what's a ram
a ram is a similar type of yeah yeah it's like a cousin yeah it's like a yeah they would like
would they be at the family reunion
they would show up
they would show up
and it wouldn't be weird
they might not sit at the same table
but they'll
but they would
they'll hang out
they're there
yeah
and they're going
how's you
how you doing
rammer related to sheep
I think
rammer
goats
oh you're saying
so ram and a sheep
would never be
Dusty said
Ram's goat sheep
I think they're all together.
They're all cool with each other.
So which one is the weirdest to come?
Like if they go to the family reunion, is it like the goat shows up?
Oh, if like a caribou shows up?
They're like, all right.
You're like so little.
I know.
You're a little distant.
You're too far.
So like a goat, a ram, and a sheep, they're at the family reunion.
I mean, you're like, like we're close i know what the
goats are doing the goats i feel like caribous and everything i feel like caribous are the hot friend
you know oh yeah i don't even know what is a caribou or caribous are good i mean they do
look considerably different the ram i mean it's like the ram's helmet yeah yeah that's where that
comes from a goat just looks like kind of a dumb dumb dog. Rams look like they come from money.
And the goat is like, you know, goats like,
you're like, hey, did you go to McDonald's on the way here?
And goats eat everything.
So that makes sense.
They're like a poor, they're like, no, I will eat it.
They are the poor sheep.
It's the White House before lawnmowers.
They used to just throw a bunch of goats out on that front lawn.
Yeah, they still do.
They do that at Hermes Golf Course.
Do they really?
Over by my brother's school and Hermes Golf Course.
They kind of back up to each other.
And so Derek and them will get like, they get sheep like all over there because there's just a herd of, I mean, goats or maybe it's sheep.
They do sheep.
Or rams.
It's ram.
Yeah, they go.
No, I think they have sheep, right?
And they're just wandering.
You go play Hermes Golf Course, and there'll be just, I mean,
a giant herd of sheep that'll just be out there,
and they just let them wander.
How do they get them to eat it uniformly?
You ride them.
And so you get on them.
You just kick it and go, come on now.
Get on down here. So they're taking our jobs. Yeah. And so you get on them, you kick it and go, come on now, get on there.
So they're taking our jobs.
Yeah.
Really what you're saying.
Yeah.
They are.
We got one more on here.
This is the 2003.
You've also heard of this.
Miami's Dr. Arthur Agatson adds fuel to the low-carb craze by publishing the South Beach Diet,
seen as a more moderate version of Atkins.
Just a little Diet Atkins.
The sexy version. So you would do the South Beach.
You'd never heard of it, right, or something?
I've heard of all these.
They come out and everybody's talking about them.
I don't know what the difference between South Beach and Atkins is.
It's a G-string and rollerblades.
What made us cut it off at 2003?
Like we, you know,
I feel like there's been a lot of crazy diets since 2003.
Well, that's when Bates kind of gives up on most stuff.
Yeah.
2003.
2003 is where Bates kind of tapped out.
2003, that's when he peaked.
Yeah.
I mean, 20 years has passed since then.
Yeah. I mean, we has passed since then yeah I think
he might have
2003 is when
Bates should have
been having a baby
but
now
that's where
that cuts off
yeah
that's good
a lot of fun stuff you know who didn't hurt himself it's Chase my merch That's where that cuts off. Yeah. That's good.
A lot of fun stuff.
You know who didn't hurt himself?
It's Chase, my merch.
The guy that sells merch.
Which, by the way, we were saying, this is like a, hold on.
My voice.
I think it's still the same.
So we did, so Chase, so people think, a lot of people think chase is my son like so if you see if you go see chase if you go see the the the guy that sells merch he's 22 i think he's never
heard of the south beach diet i don't like it's like he's like so young and but a lot of people
they think because he i mean you look at him he kind of looks like me uh which is very hilarious to think that of all the personal stuff i talk about on stage
i just wouldn't talk about my 23 year old son like i mean like i talk about my dad my parents
i talk about my brother sister my wife my daughter and i just never mention like that that's by the way i've have a 23 year old son that we
just kind of keep on the back burner wouldn't it be great if he was just telling people that
as he sold yeah well people think it's him just fueled the rumor so if you but we wanted we had
he he he just always laughs at the fact that people say that to him but if you go buy merch i'm not
telling you look you don't have to i'm not forcing anybody to do anything if you're buying merch definitely bring up like oh you're nate's son right like he
never talks about just say that to him constantly even if you don't buy merch maybe just go buy him
say something that we're going to see how long it takes till he will come back to me don't make it
don't say you heard on the podcast don't make it a big deal just be like no you heard you know that's what there's like rumors online maybe there's a reddit he goes that everybody
just said that you're his son that he doesn't talk about and then just kind of move on about
your day yeah and i want to see when he will eventually go and like if he figures out like
how are they it's becoming more aggressive becoming a problem, honestly. Maybe people take a picture with him. Hashtag Chase Bargatze.
Chase Bargatze.
Yeah, get it done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chase, Nate's boy. Just yell it.
You can yell it as you walk by.
Nate's boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know.
Because there is, it is, it's so funny to think I could have a son and just never.
Never brought him up.
And out of you
you're like
what does he talk about
his life
he only talks about his life
he doesn't talk about his son though
no
so he draws the line
he draws the line
he talks about him
on the bonus tracks
on the bonus tracks
you guys
by the way I have a son
that's 23 selling merch for me
alright well hopefully we have baby baits by now we do not know yet uh but uh we uh pray that
everybody's safe everybody's doing good uh next time you see baits he will be a father which is
uh very fun uh uh i'm out on the road i'm uh you can go check everything out
vecchione's everybody's on the road vecchione's on the road this z can go check everything out. Vecchione, everybody's on the road. Vecchione's on the road.
This is Zany's, Nashville, Tennessee.
April 19th.
April 19th.
Come.
It's a Vecchione special.
You will love it.
It's super fun.
I promise.
I will be there.
I get to produce and direct.
It'll be my first big four-way, 4A.
What is that?
4A?
4A.
4A.
I said four-way.
Doing a lot of directing, cutting Mike off
during the show. Mike, stop.
Damn it, Mike. These are not the lines
that I wrote. You go, what are you?
You gotta look at me.
You look like a fool.
You have a secret son. He has a secret son,
everybody. Mike, dad, cut.
Cut.
Yeah.
So, yeah, come to that get tickets dusty Aaron yeah I'm on the road dusty sleigh calm it's a hot website and I got all the dates on there I'll be going to
Mark Ridley's comedy castle Royal Oak Michigan this. It's a great one. It's a great one. Yeah.
It's very fun.
I've got some headlining dates coming up.
I'm very excited about Bristol, Tennessee, Woodstock, Georgia,
Chattanooga, Tennessee, Salt Lake City, Austin, Texas,
AaronWeberComedy.com.
Oh, yeah. It's lovely to see you.
You were listed on the website as an adult show.
That's right.
On the comedy catch, Dusty's listed as clean, family-friendly, and then I'm adult. Wow. Wow. That's right. On the comedy catch, Dusty's listed as clean, family-friendly, and then I'm adult.
Wow. Wow. That's true.
I think it would take an adult to get
to it.
Attention span.
You need to be older
to get a...
Children are welcome.
I don't think y'all go last the whole time.
You're going to be restless.
You're on the road, too. Yeah, I'm on the road.
I got dates.
MikeVecchione.com, at ComicMikeV on all social media platforms.
Yeah.
And then where are you at this weekend?
I'm in Vancouver at House of Comedy.
Oh, yeah.
British Columbia.
All right.
So House of Comedy, and then I'm in Houston at the Riot,
and then Cleveland
Hilarities April 14th and 15th
yeah weekend before we tape the special
that's where we go running
alright as always
we love you guys
we've been gone a while it's nice to talk to you
thank you for everybody that's been coming to these shows
everybody's been so nice and I've got to meet a lot of folks
and we appreciate it uh
keep uh baits in your prayers and uh we will see you next week baits will be a new man
sitting up taller we love you yeah nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife lara on the all
things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media
thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast