The Nateland Podcast - Calendars (Revisited)

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Since it's Leap Day, we thought it'd be a fun time to revisit one of our favorite episodes: Calendars. Dusty wasn't part of the group yet but Nate, Brian, and Aaron take a look at previous calendars throughout history, proposed calendars of the future, and what we would change about our calendar of today. 

What's up, everybody? This is a special episode, a little breakfast idea, so if it's not good, we know where to send that. And if it is good, well, it was my idea. No, I'm not joking. But we did that extra episode with the weather when we couldn't get together at the time. So we're doing the same thing with this. Yeah, the calendars episode, we put it out about probably over three years ago. One of our early ones. Before Dusty was on yeah it was back when it was good and yeah so all those people get a break yeah yeah yeah you don't want me on there ruining the calendars episode a lot to say about calendars yeah yeah but people really love the episode we talked a lot about leap day on there

and leap year and since today is leap day we thought it'd be a fun time to revisit it talk about it all right hey guys happy leap day dude yeah yeah happy leap day yeah yeah all right here it is enjoy what's up everybody or hello folks i started saying what's up, everybody? Or hello, folks. I started saying, what's up, everybody? Hello, folks. Welcome to Nate Land. Sitting here today, I'm Nate, Aaron, Brian, as usual. Happy New Year. This is the first episode of the rest of our lives. 2021. We did it.

Everybody's glad that we're done with 2020. People seem to be. And we made it. We're doing the new year. Do you party it up? New Year's Eve? No, we went in eight, and then that was it. So came back and we did the Eastern time zone New Year's for the kids.

The ball dropping. Yeah. 11 o'clock. Did it. Told them it was. And they were just like, but it says. They keep figuring it out. But why does your phone say 1059?

I go, my phone's not correct. My time that gets from the satellite that's precisely perfect. There's a whole hour behind. Must be something's up with it. You know, technology. I remember going with you guys to a New Year's Eve party when Harper was two. She stayed up past midnight. Yeah.

Harper's like me. Harper just doesn't nod off. She doesn't. She's not a. Like, Laura, well, we watch a movie. We can't start a movie past nine or Lars will never make it. Harper will stay up. And so we always tell her she can try to stay up as late as she wants. I think Harper could stay up 24 hours. And I would like to try that one day. but we made her go to sleep. I mean, she gets a, obviously she's tired. She gets delirious. And like, you know, it's like kids, they get, it's pretty funny.

You see like kids get drunk because they're just so tired and they're just being silly and they're very funny. And they just, and when you try to make them go to bed, it's like a meltdown. Yeah. And so we made, that night she went to bed, you know, it was around midnight, I guess, 1130 midnight. And then she's, you know, never going to get to stay up ever late again. And you said, you promised me one night.

And I was like, all right, we'll stay up. One night, I was like, we'll do it. We were having a big day the next day with my family. So I was like, we can't do it tonight. And then the next night we stayed, they ended up staying up till two. So I was like, this is your night. Wow. Like, this is it. This is the dinner. Like in the Seinfeld, the soup up staying up until 2. So I was like, this is your night. Wow. Like, this is it.

This is the dinner. Like in the Seinfeld, the soup. This is the meal. This is the meal. All right, we're doing it. So we got it. But it was good. It was a fun.

You know, we did it. We had fun. You know, 2021 feels like the same. So we're going to start off as usual. First comments of the new year these are from youtube instagram twitter apple podcast reviews and you can always email nateland at natebargetzi.com first up laurie crawford laurie crawford or laurie crawford i just want to let you guys know how great you are sadly extremely sad my son succumbed to his PTSD struggle last week before Christmas.

And needless to say, as his mother, I was beyond devastated. I had not smiled or laughed or felt any happiness in days. Then I had to go somewhere one day when I got in my car to drive. Your podcast came on and it made me smile, even laugh. I was so grateful at that moment for you and what you do. So thank you so much. Keep it up. I'm going to need you a lot in the future. Well, thank you, Lori. That's super nice. We'll keep your son in our thoughts and prayers. And yeah, that's tough, man. And she, I corresponded with her. She said she wanted to really thank you for doing shows for the troops.

It meant a lot to her family. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm the loser. She said that too. Yeah, wow. She agreed to all that. Tell him, don't let him think he's not better than us. I don't want him to get too hit.

David Banner. Thanks to you kind folks, I have a connection with my son who is on the autism spectrum I drive him to a special school that has a 30 minute commute each way for a long time we just drove in silence because he doesn't want to talk or listen to music I'd love to now I might want to ride

with your son talk or listen to music for 30 minutes I'll take him to school I love the Netflix special for the unbelievable level of comedy and the clean humor. I turned on your podcast one morning. I expected him to protest. He didn't say anything for about 10 minutes and then he started laughing at

everything. We love the banter, the teasing back and forth and the sarcasm. Sarcasm is a rare thing for a person with autism to fully grasp, but he loves it all. Now we listen every day and talk about the stuff that you guys are stumbling through. I can't thank you enough for giving us this opportunity to share.

Well, thank you, David. That's cool. Yeah, that's very cool. Thanks for your son too. I'm glad he loves it.

And yeah, I'll ride with him 30 minutes. No talking, no music. I'm on board. And listen, he wants to just listen to talk radio. I mean,

this is the greatest car ride of all time. John Brocato. Brocato, I love everything about this podcast, including the fact that Nate and Aaron blazed right past the cleverest statement uttered so far on the show. Nate thinks a pronoun is a noun that gets paid to be in a sentence. This is next level brilliant and easily bracelets shining moment. That's what you said?

Yeah, when you're talking about you didn't know what an adverb was. I said, Pete thinks of pronouns and now it gets paid to be in a sentence. Oh, wow. That is,

I don't think I caught it. That's very funny. We talked right past it. I'm sorry. Wow. Wow. Bracelet. Bracelet's a good,

it's a funny word. Bracelet's a funny word. Yeah. Look at that. At least he got it, huh? You wrote that, but John Bricotta is your fake name? And I was like, if I call myself by my real name- They're going to get it. They'll get it. Let me call myself bracelet. Jeff Fox, the fact that a man who thinks we can use et cetera in places of numbers is

wildly successful is all the proof we need that this is the best time to be alive. That's a good point. That is. The fact that a man who thinks we can use et cetera in place of numbers is wildly successful. He's a pie is 3.14, et cetera, et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera. Are we going to go through them all? Who's going to go through them all?

No one's going to go through them all. Yeah. Just keep them rolling, dude. And the fact that i am successful is is it is proof that's what i mean yeah i think there's a lot of dumb people doing a lot of big things right now more than ever you think cavemen you couldn't have had just a dumb they died immediately they would just be gone yeah you couldn't survive you know especially dumb ones. I mean, the dumb ones. I mean, some of them would survive out of pure just... Luck.

Yeah, luck. And they're not scared of anything, so they're fighting animals. They just go into it, fighting a lion. They're like, whatever, man. You need some of that. But nowadays, I mean, yeah. I think that's our main problem. We got too many dumb people that have too many bigger platforms.

Christopher Stanley. Nate tries to hum a few bars of Downtown by Petula Clark to see if he can get Aaron to recognize it. Aaron begins singing lyrics from Fall Out Boy. I almost choked to death taking a sip of water as that happened. Aaron wins Millennial of the Year. I'll take it, man. Congrats, buddy. That's that happened. Aaron wins Millennial of the Year. I'll take it, man. Congrats, buddy.

That's a title, dude. Yeah. Millennial of the Year. You're thick in the millennials. Yeah, I'm right in the, I'm what you think of when you hear millennial. I'm like right in the sweet spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst of the worst.

Yeah. Or the best of the best. Depends. Depends on who you're talking to. We're doing good stuff, I think. I think millennials do a lot of good stuff. Yeah. They do a lot of crazy stuff, too.

You know, a lot of people commented on the downtown. Like, how did you guys miss the Seinfeld reference? You did say it. You said it really fast. And you said Seinfeld reference. But we'd already talked about it before the show. Yes. And it was, yeah, a lot of our funniest stuff would get out of the way.

And it's, yeah, like, well, that was a reference that downtown, I think we, you know, sometimes we make these Seinfeld references. They're so quick and they're as if we're just sitting in the room alone. Yeah. And we say it and it's like, yeah. And so, yeah, we don't't it's not as always pointed out uh but yeah that was a great down downtown they break down the entire song yep pete leaners lean here's l-e-e-n-h-e-e-r-s lean here's linear's maybe linear's pete linearairs what do you think he says lean here's you think that's there's no way you said lenirs lenirs sounds okay if i'm interviewing a way to spell it well if i'm

interviewing a guy and he comes in i go what's your name he goes my name's pete lean here's you're gonna wait pete why don't you walk on back out of here you think i'm gonna pronounce that name like that lean here's he goes peteier's that's what he says lanier's and you go all right pete i'll talk to you that's fair the odds of him winning an emmy with two of four nominations assuming random selection is in fact 83 not 50 or 75 he had a 17 chance of not winning an emmy that's a great, that's exactly right. 83 is still a lot. It is. A few people did that math for us. Yeah.

And, you know, I asked my buddy, Ben Hall, who listens to the podcast about what he was thinking. He's the one that lost out that night. Yeah. And I was like, what were you thinking? He said, I took a date. That's how confident I was that I'm going to win something. And then when they announced, we've got a tie.

He's like, I've won twice. Yeah. He thought he was going to win twice. Yeah then when they announced, we've got a tie, he's like, I've won twice. Yeah. He thought he was going to win twice. Yeah. And he's won both of them. And then he had to call his parents and say, I didn't win. They're like, well, who did win? He said, everyone but me.

Yeah. Everyone else. Three people. He's two of them. Almost like someone did that on purpose. Someone had it out for him? I would believe that someone had it out for him i would i would believe that someone had it out for him i mean how do you not you know how do you not how do you not have

it out for him what's this clock counting down we got a new clock in it's going up 10 minutes 52 seconds okay i get it now man that confuses me wait we're what? Well, we got a new clock to go that 11. One of the things is in blue. Can you show it? Can it see it? And so the 11 is in blue. So we always have a clock there to kind of see where we're at. And so that 11, this is new.

I just saw it running. I go, what's the blue number? And everybody goes, I don't know. Yeah. And then I'm seeing the other thing, and I'm like, what is happening? And it was a quick, I didn't figure it running. I go, what's the blue number? And everybody goes, I don't know. Yeah. And then I'm seeing the other thing, and I'm like, what is happening? And it was a quick, I didn't figure it out. All right. All right.

We figured it out now. Now we got it. Yeah. We got what it is. So everybody calm down. We'll do an episode on time sometimes. Yeah. How did time get invented?

What is time? Or is it invented? Is it? Yeah. is there so many people that don't believe it is it a human construct or is it just you know we can dive into it later but like did we make it up does it even matter what it is yeah i mean the sun sets and stuff so you're gonna say what time how long is the sun up so wouldn't it just be there's still time whether it's a number or not right right okay all right i don't know i'll have to wait till brian does all the research and then we'll learn more about it we'll talk we're gonna talk about some of that today yeah oh teaser um a little teaser and stick around folks or or say goodbye yeah i'd be like i'm out of this these guys are gonna delve into that no guys it's much boringer than time um time yeah you wish we were gonna get into

time and that's what's gonna happen when you get done with this podcast is go why don't y'all do time good night how long was that that podcast took a lot of time uh zachary zern zz zachary zern sewer systems and access to clean water greatly increased around 1900 infection and disease decreased dramatically as soon as we were able to efficiently get rid of sewage next time you flush remember how good you have it folks this toilet is the most underrated invention of all time the toll it is it's pretty true yeah something you don't think about everybody says slice of bread you know it's great you know because you're pooping it and everybody's like all right yeah yeah whoa back up hold on uh

yeah ac well the toilet though i think i agree him the toilets yeah that's a world of problems yeah that's i agree but i feel like i've been giving it the credit it deserves my whole life. I didn't know if you guys have been walking around taking it for granted. Y'all probably talk about it at your dinner table. Do y'all do that? Do y'all talk about it? They debate it. Y'all debate it and go, all right, Webbers, what's the best invention that you've seen?

And then you go oh dad and then y'all eat all i know is yeah i guess yeah i've never really without a toilet but when i'm without ac that changes my life yeah for a while uh but i mean if you could go with one or the other i'd take the toilet probably yeah you're right so i mean that's the air condition you can you can figure it out you know fall's coming get a, you're right. So, I mean, that's the air condition you can figure it out. You know, fall's coming. Get a fan. You're right.

Or just wait for the colder temperatures. It's going to come. Just start walking north. Do opposite of the birds. That's what you do. You do opposite of the birds. Yeah.

Start heading north. You want to be in that good, you know. Uh-huh. This person's making the point that that's when lifespan started increasing greatly. We showed that graph last week. It's just when, oh, so it wasn't Walmart that was invented. It was toilets.

Well, you might be right. Might be Walmart. We were selling these toilets. Yeah. So that's a catch-22. Yeah. I think a little bit of both. I think a little Walmart and toilet had a lot to do with it.

Someone went into Walmart and used the toilet and goes, we can buy these for our house? Morgan Smith. I love when Aaron just gives up and tells Nate that's fair. Even when Nate is arguing for something utterly atrocious.

Aaron senses when it's time to move on and says, that's fair, so Bedpost can move the show along. Love the podcast. Morgan sees right through us. That is fair, Morgan. You know, she gets it.

Yeah, I think I've done that already today. Yeah, you go, that's fair. You give up. You don't want to talk about it. Well, that's just where you get to the point where you're like, all right, we've died. Fair enough. Yeah.

Yeah, you don't want to talk about it much anymore. You're kind of over it well you do you can pin people into a corner yeah you can't who me yeah you can't yeah and then you just when you're in the corner you just go all right yeah yeah that's throwing throwing the towel in is what yeah that's what i like to do i like to back you down in a corner where you can't get out and then you have to go that's fair then i go all right that door's right there the bed post goes all right and then next round he rings the bell next round laurie laurie rinshaw a couple lorries laurie rinshaw i hate to be this person but as a pharmacist i have to clarify the aspirin situation it's actually 325 milligrams per tablet, so just under 100 tablets a day. I guess they kept the news of the truckloads of aspirin being delivered daily to the corner pharmacy out of the headlines too.

Whoever had the patent was making a killing in more ways than one. So we were saying 150, and it's only 100. Just under 100. Still a significant amount of aspirin still a lot i mean just the sheer volume of the pills is gonna be a problem in your stomach yeah i mean it's you it's a meal a hundred yeah you eat breakfast yeah kind of as we already do that joke kind of might have done that uh yeah i mean it's still a hundred and then but it's not as bad if you went to a town and they go we we do 100,

and the other town does 150, you'd go, I'm glad to be here. I'm still not thrilled. But if you just went to a town over and they go, we do 100, we're not crazy. And you go, you're definitely not as crazy because they're doing 150 right over there. Yeah. And you are at 100. But, I mean, I still y'all still need

to calm it down i always think aspirin i always take it i never think it's this magical thing that i feel better you don't you don't feel it working i don't think so are you talking about like tylenol or anything yeah yeah i mean i'll take it i guess uh maybe you have a severe headache i don't think i don't like to take stuff. That's probably a good mentality. Yeah. I've never been a big where I want to take a million things. I mean, I have to take some stuff, and now I'm taking Zyrtec.

I'm supposed to. I don't take it all the time. I'm supposed to. Allergies. Just like allergies. I never had allergies, but I have them more than I ever have now. And so I took one today. You're supposed to take it every day, but I don't.

But I'm not a big fan. I try to take stuff to sleep. That's the only thing that I do. But I've narrowed down to it has to be Sour Patch Kids late at night. That's what I think. You just looked at me like, how many do you take, Brian? I'll say, what's your pill regimen? Well, it's one for, it's got a day.

It's got a marker, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Do you have a marker? Yeah, I've said that on here before. I have a pill box now. Oh, man. Do you do Saturday, Sunday together, or is the S's separate? Separate. Separate S's.

Yeah. That's good. What age did you have to get it? Just recent? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This year.

Last year, I guess. Because it just started becoming a handful. The amount of pills you had to take, it starts to get. Yeah. How many pills are in the thing? Just two. Just two. I could just never remember if I.

If you've taken it already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. That's not an age thing. I think everybody would probably have trouble remembering it. But so you just set them out every morning, and then you just grow and take your two.

Yep. All right. One's for acid reflux. Oh. One's just a daily vitamin. One's just your face. What? I don't know.

I just felt like that was fun. And one's just for my general, my face in general. And they had a pill for like down-solting. That would be the doctor. And this one's just for your overall. Here's one for your face. You're a pretty rough-looking guy. And you're like, good night, dude.

And he goes, yeah, it's just a good pill for you. He goes, what does it do? He goes, I honestly don't know. It gives you worse vision. It's a straight-up roast. So you don't see it. I'm not saying you. Now we're going along with it.

Oh, okay. I like the idea of a pill. They should make a pill that does that for people's face. It's for your face. And a doctor just says that. Straight up your face and a doctor just says that straight up your face i always when i get questions from doctors they i feel like i never know how to answer any of their questions when they ask i wouldn't had a physical and you know it's like i've had my shoulder hurt and which i've been golfing an obnoxious amount and uh then i started working

out a little bit so i was like that's probably working out i blame it on working out even by the way i swing club i swing a club every day it's probably that and then uh they go and she was like i bet you've had that the whole time so it's a good you know we're talking about there like it's you get to an age where it's just like yeah you just sounds like she didn't know how to answer you. I think so, but I don't ever know how to tell them exactly the problem. I would think doctors have a big problem with that, is that they don't know how to get the information from the patient. Yeah. And they go, describe what it is, and you go, I don't know if I can.

I've thought about that. If there should be some device that the doctor puts it on, and then they can feel whatever whatever pain you're feeling believe and they're like oh i know exactly what yeah and you go yeah that's i mean that's why you need a doctor that has a ton of experience because he's going to go i've heard this before whatever example because this is back to my point like we're all this is why jokes and then kind of all of those but this is why i think jokes work so much when jokes can be relatable like when you write a joke it's very relatable to a group of people,

because we're all the same. None of us are doing anything that's really different. We have the same kind of fights with our families and same kind of stuff. So a doctor can, when you go describe a pain, the way you describe it, unless you're like a weirdo that describes it some weird way, the doctor's probably heard that and is going to know what it is. But you need him to have that experience to be like, I've looked at thousands of people. And I've heard a thousand people be like, it's just like in my back of my tricep or something.

And then they go, I get the idea of what it probably is. But yeah, it is hard to tell them. I remember I went to the doctor once with sinus problems. And the doctor goes, does it feel like somebody's blowing up a balloon inside your head i was like that is perfect yeah i was so impressed with the analogy i was like god you nailed it yeah i didn't even think of it but yeah exactly and then you go yeah and then he goes take this this is for your face yes that was a pill for your face that is a face that was a face for sure yeah absolutely i bet doctors get frustrated now with all the self-diagnosis from the internet.

Yeah. Because whenever I go in, I always tell the doc what I think it is, and he always just stares at me, lets me finish, and then he tells me what it is. Yeah. But I always look it up. I feel like I need to tell him what I think it is. Yeah.

Well, you want to lead him down. Well, I guess you're worried they don't care. That's why you have a fear that they you know i it's the way i look at it it's why i don't trust in anything or i'm always skeptical of stuff it's because everybody's still a person so whatever person you know that'd be like if people when you have to take your clothes off to a doctor it's hard for you to rationalize like you don't like just you're like you're not gonna make fun of me when i leave the room or something. And you're like, well, I'm a doctor.

I don't look at it that way. And you're like, but you're like, I don't know how to not, you're still a person. Yeah, exactly. And you can't tell me that there's not, you don't go, well, how do we do, you know, you don't bring it up. And when you have your doctor party,

sit next to a proctologist. You sit next to a proctologist at a party, you stay there. Yeah. That's a Seinfeld reference. Have I talked about- A million to one, Doc. A million to one.

I went to the ER a few months ago. Since we've done this podcast? Yeah, I can't- Yeah. No, you haven't. It was during COVID. My foot just started hurting. Middle of the night, I couldn't sleep.

This is before Krispy Kreme. I want that on the record yeah yeah that's another do the crispy cream and it wasn't it wasn't like i looked up like diabetic nerve pain i was like what is this couldn't figure it out and i couldn't describe it better than just my foot hurt real bad yeah the whole foot and i just couldn't sleep i called my mom she goes just go to the er it could be a blood clot or something. I don't know. So I go to the ER. I'm the only one there. And the whole time, I was like, they're just going to think that this is not a real thing.

Yeah. So I was just so nervous about trying to articulate how bad it hurt. So I'm sitting in the chair thing, and the person comes in, and they're like, did you hurt it? Did you bump it into something? I was like, no. Did you twist it? I was just sitting down, and it just started hurting so she goes okay and i see her walk out in the hallway and like a group of them and they kind of all look at me at once and then look back and i was like they're just talking trash out there dude they're like we'll give you an x-ray maybe i mean it's not a anyway they just gave him sent me home yeah and

it got fine after a while. I don't know what happened. It never hurt you again? No. It hurt so bad, though. And I had no idea what it was. Could you walk on it? No.

I couldn't walk on it. And then no medicine or anything. You just went away. They said, just take some ibuprofen. I was like, can I get a prescription? They're like, look, you don't need a prescription. Yeah. I was like, oh my gosh.

Took some aspirin. I didn't even take 100. I just took three or four. And it went away and you're fine now. Yeah, I'm fine. It hasn't hurt since. You did a Lambo leap this weekend. I didn't even take 100. I just took three or four. And it went away, and you're fine now. Yeah, I'm fine. It hasn't hurt since. You did a Lambo leap this weekend. I did do a Lambo leap, yeah.

He went to Green Bay. All right. Well, maybe someone will write in and be like, yeah, dude, you need to go back. You're going to lose that foot. I might need to. It feels great now, though, dude. If anybody has a heavy diabetes listening to this, let us know if you go, I remember that day. If you're listening to what Let us know if you go, I remember that day. If you're listening to what Aaron just said, you go, I remember that day.

And it was 20 years before it all went down. Just give us a heads up. Brian Keegan. Hello, folks. I enjoyed watching the donut challenge episode very much. It reminded me of a challenge we did with a guy at work. We did MD one of everything from the company vending machine. The machine had small packages of chips, cookies, candy bars, et cetera, et cetera. It sounds easy. I even considered trying it myself.

I'm glad I did it because not even halfway through, my coworker was thrown up in a garbage can. We think it may have been the breath mints that put him over the top he was miserable but he made a boring day at work more entertaining for all of us it was all it was a well day love you nate aaron especially brutus beefcake keep up the good work uh i love that like uh that is a that's a pretty good one yeah i like that you think you could eat all the vending machines? I was thinking, oh, I could do that. And then he mentioned Breathman. So I was like, God, you'd have to eat a whole pack. You have all the row of gum down there.

And you got to just swallow the gum? Yeah. No, I'm sure you can spit it out, the gum. You just chew it? I think you just have to chew it. But I would definitely go gum last. Okay. You start at the bottom with the happiness. You start at the top of me and maybe work your way down. No, I'd start go gum last. Okay. You start at the bottom with the heaviness.

You start at the top of me and maybe work your way down. No, I'd start at the bottom. I always think the gum's at the bottom. Well, I guess it is. I guess it depends on where you're vending machine. But wherever the gum's at, you want to start opposite of that. Yeah. And then you want to go from there.

How long have you got to chew each piece? I would just throw all. It's probably Juicy Fruit 5. Just dump them all in there's probably Juicy Fruit 5 just dump them all in there you know the Juicy Fruit 5 yeah they fought for equality

in the 60s it's a Netflix documentary the Juicy Fruit 5 I wasn't serious it wasn't it was normal it was really fighting over nothing

same rights as Big Red yeah you gonna put us you gonna put us on the same shelf look how far back we are

we always have one little metal bar that's empty in front of us what is that doing to us no one ever buys us alright everybody we had

we had a big yeah like we said earlier, we had a great New Year's and all that stuff. We also got something, something sent to us from a listener. Apparently, the dead Burt Reynolds is a big fan of the show. The Burt Reynolds. The Burt Reynolds. Dear Nate, Aaron, and Brillo Pat.

Hello, folks. It's me, America's favorite dead actor, 1970s sex symbol, Mr. Burt Reynolds. Aaron might be too young to know who I am, but I'm sure Nate has heard of me, and I think I went to high school with belly button sun. We'll post the whole thing so you can read it it's very funny uh it's uh what is this from is uh we have a mutual friend the dad burt reynolds and uh me are friends with greg garcia and he's got a tv show the guest book is going to be available on hulu soon and he

actually sent us uh episodes of the guest book to watch i don't know if anybody saw the guest book when it was on uh not a lot of people watched it and no but it was a it was a great show and uh it's going to be on hulu soon greg garcia is uh he listens to the podcast uh i've got to be lucky to become very good friends with Greg. He also created My Name is Earl, The Millers, Guest Book, Raising Hope. I might be missing one more. He's done a lot. And honestly, one of the best writers I've ever met, I've never seen, he's a, uh, uh, would be a phenom in my eyes of the dude can write a script just, and it's so good and writes it so fast and he's just on another planet. And when we,

when we wrote, so when we, he came and helped us when we were writing our show, our show, they didn't go anywhere. And it's probably Greg's fault that it didn't. But when we were writing that show, Greg,

uh, came in to help and uh it was it was unreal how good he was how much he would like come in and write and it was just unbelievable like he would he he just would come in and like he'd throw out i have this idea and you're like all right first time when i first met him i didn't really i didn't know him and so they're like he's helping us and i was like you know i gotta listen to this idiot talk and so then he tells us he's like what about if you do this for your ideas and i was like well that's maybe the greatest idea i've ever heard and then we just immediately changed and i was

like we should do all those ideas and we basically rewrote the script because of him uh so he's unbelievable and uh so check out uh we're posted the the the letter because it's very funny and then check out the guest book it'll be on hulu uh and he's a he's one of the folks he's one of us folks nice so uh let's go watch it uh all right this week uh we have we kind of teased that we were talking about time we're not doing time what kind of kind of kind of time we were talking about time. We're not doing time. Well, kind of. Kind of. Kind of time.

We're talking about calendars. I mean, talk about just a school. If this was a school, imagine being a student and they go, hello, everybody. We are going to talk about calendars today. And you're like, oh, my God. Are we kidding me? Just Zoom zoom do you mind if i take my zoom camera off yeah this uh i have a lot of faith in the topic i really do but this

sounds like a comment that someone would leave like what are you guys gonna talk about next calendars we're like yeah actually that's a good. Or we might do two parts of it. I got a lot here, folks. Do you know how we come up with the year, 365 days, like that length of time? No, of course not. I've never. Do you know? Well, that's how long it takes the Earth to rotate around the sun, right? Yes.

That's an easy answer. One trip around the sun. That was a pretty simple answer right there. I don't know when they teach you that. I mean, I thought... You just thought everyone knew it? Yeah. You just think you didn't know?

That's fair. Yeah. Did you know it? Yeah. Everybody knew it? I'm going to... Holly, do you know how long a day is? How long a day is?

24 hours. Yeah, but why is it 24 hours? Because the moon. What do you want me to say? Is it the moon? It's a rotation of the earth. Go around the moon. The moon flies around.

I look at the moon every night. Don't talk to me like I don't know the moon. I know the moon when I see it. Last night, I looked at the moon. It was huge. Don't talk to me like I don't know the moon. I know the moon when I see a moon. Last night, I looked at the moon. It was huge last night. It was huge last night. Some of it was missing somehow. Yeah.

So for a day, that's the Earth spinning on its axis one time around. The Earth spins at 1,000 miles per hour. Right now, we're traveling 1,000 miles an hour. Feels like it. Feels like it. I'll double down one more Do you know how we come up with months? This is the toughest one

I wish I knew this one Is it cycles of the moon? Yep Oh wow One cycle of the moon is 29 and a half days The word month came from the word moon Oh I didn't know that yeah oh yeah none don't know everything do we well i got it right notre dame doesn't well y'all good at

guessing notre dame i didn't go to college dude i'm not smart at this kind of stuff but i'll you know i can talk my way into a lot of more stuff there's so ancient calendars used to be lunar calendars. They go off the moon. And so the moon goes through a full cycle about every 29 and a half days. But it would start to mess things up because the sun and the moon don't cooperate with each other. Have you heard Rory Scovel's got a great joke about that? What? With the sun, you ever go outside and see the moon? You know, when you see the moon during the day and the sun's like, what are you doing?

And he's like, what? I'm not. He goes, I wanted to come out. It's like, everybody can. And the moon's like, all right, I'll go back. Don't go back now. Everybody's already seen you. Might as well stay out here.

Why are you out here? So he's at the moon, and the moon came out too early. That's funny. So the Romans had the first calendar kind of like ours, but theirs was only 10 months long. They didn't have January, February. New Year started March 1st. Which have been the coldest months.

I don't think we should have them either. Well, that's their reasoning. They just called it a dead period. We don't need it. Are you serious? Yeah. They lived through it. Yeah.

I mean, they just didn't call it anything. They weren't doing anything. It was just a dead period. So're just yeah so they would just they're just like there's no what do you got what if you have a to do something during this time well there wasn't much doing that back then so but if you go we got to go i'm so you want to meet and you go we'll need to meet in the dead period you go how do we know when to do that? That's a good question. Then they go, well, just count it because people probably had dead period calendars.

Their own secret. That's why October, the word octo is eight, like octopus has eight legs, but October is the tenth month. The reason is, before this, it used to be the eighth month because there was no january february because they were being ridiculous yes it's going to get a lot worse i mean that's

ridiculous to go we just have a dead period and you go we're just not going to acknowledge it let's just all tap out for a little bit yeah i mean who i'll see y'all march who just came up with this me that's what i would have came up with back then like well we just don't do it that's the easiest thing so it wasn't working for a lot of reasons we just named so in 45 bc julius caesar said we got to do a better calendar guys come on so that's like if a president ran on uh right now running on daylight savings like that's like julius caesar like a president should run on that to go like i'm gonna just change, come on. What are we doing? And that's what Julius Caesar did. He's like, all right.

This calendar is ridiculous. He goes, look, I'm here. You're here. Who are we kidding ourselves? Who are we kidding ourselves? You're doing something during that time, right? We're not in hibernation. Yeah, we're not bears.

We just wake up and come out. I went grocery shopping during the dead period. And I went on a day that it was sunny and then I slept when it wasn't and then woke back up when it was sunny. So, Julius Caesar is an astronomer. This is amazing they could figure this out that far back.

Yeah, I can't figure it out now. I couldn't either. The astronomers figured out that the Earth goes around the Sun 365 days. So they made a 365-day calendar just like we have.

Starts January 1st. Has a leap year every four years. Do you guys know how we come up with leap year? Just because something's off.

Yeah. So... I don't know. I don't like this. I think it's just stop asking just start telling it's good god that is right right something's a little bit off something's a little bit off and then they go they messed up though they said a day was 365 days and six hours but a day is actually 365 days five hours 48 minutes and 46 seconds that's the who's but who's they my brother

just said something this weekend he's like they are the smartest people i've ever never yeah i've never met it's always well they are they are the dumbest people it's one or the other yeah or who's they you're like well they they know who they are they somebody and they are a problem in this case it was the guys julia caesar hired to do it so it was off a little bit. You hire calendar people. I mean, is there a calendar company that you just call? It's astronomers. Oh, yeah. They get work?

I think astronomer. Astronomer. Astronomer? I thought astronomer was the thing in your car. They tell you how fast you can go. What's the astronomer show? Yeah. that's uh i got an astronomer that's what he brought he brought an astronomer he goes all right tell me how fast he's like i don't do that you're like well i don't what do you do then he's like i do like star stuff you go all right well i'd like to do a calendar too you know so might as well

have you do that i was bringing you in for something else completely but yeah sure let's mess with the calendar this dead period is ridiculous so he was slightly off by 12 minutes which over time started causing a problem because he put in a leap year every four years i learned this a leap year is not actually every four years occasionally we have to skip it. Really? Yeah. There's actually a mathematic equation to determine what a leap year is. Leap years fall. They've got to be divisible by four unless the year is also divisible by 100. And if the year is divisible by 400, you keep it. Wow.

That's ridiculous. The last time. Well, I liked it. The first he was off, too. It's like, well, we're going to be off about 12 minutes. 12 minutes is not that bad. You go, not now. It's not that bad.

I agree. But, I mean, in a thousand years, it's going to add up. It is going to be a problem. That's exactly what happened. I think I just lost my. Yeah. You're back. Okay.

I can't hear myself, but that's okay. So, over time, it became a problem so by the year 1582 when pope gregory was running the catholic church we're off by 10 days so the season's greg isn't pope's name's usually a little more popey greg is... Yeah. That's Popey for sure. Pope Greg? I don't think he went by Greg. I think he went by... The Gregster. His holiness, probably. I think if you named him Greg growing up, you were like, well, he's never going to be a Pope.

So might as well name him Greg. So you change your name when you become Pope. Huh? You do? When you become Pope, you take on a papal name. He took on Gregory? Yeah. I don't know if that's how they were doing it back then, but like...

I would love to know his regular name. Yeah. What if it was better? Yeah. Like Pope Benedict was the last Pope. His name was Joseph. I mean, both of those are better than Gregory. Yeah.

Benny? You think Gregory sounds like a good Pope name? It sounds... I think so. I think it sounds regalal kind of uh it feels like i feel like you would see him out a lot like that's what it sounds like that's pope gregory that's just greg what's he doing he's throwing darts pope gregory's out there playing darts every night that's what i think i think pope gregory would be a problem like it's like golly

dude he's out where were you at last night? He shows up. Sun's coming up. What are you doing? People just call him Greg. And he goes, I'm Pope. Pope Gregory. Pope Greg. That's so funny.

I've never heard that. Shortening it. By 1582, Easter wasn't even following when it's supposed to. So Pope Gregory's like we gotta fix this So his guy figured out this new equation Did he drink coffee because he had a wild night What is it Easter's in November

That doesn't make sense Something's off What's off He's like well it's two in the afternoon Pope Gregory This is the first we've got a hold of you Where'd you go last night buddy Well, it's two in the afternoon, Pope Gregory, and this is the first we've got a hold of you. Where'd you go last night, buddy? He just went out.

Yeah. It's an Applebee's down the street. That's where I think you would see Pope Gregory. Yeah. Leaves the Vatican, goes to like downtown Rome. Oh, leaves the Vatican. Yeah. The Hard Rock Cafe in Rome. Yeah.

Hangs out there. Yeah. You know, they got a Bruce Willis poster poster in there i don't know all right well anyway pope gregory's guy figured out we don't need a leap year every time yeah so last time it was skipped was not the year 1900 the next time it's going to be skipped is the year 2100 and that keeps us back on pattern so we don't get ahead of ourselves but we're're still off by 26 seconds, even now. So we're losing time here. By the year 4909, the Gregorian calendar will be a full day ahead than it's supposed to be.

And I mean, there's a point, does it even matter? That's what I'm wondering. Why was there so much concern about keeping it as accurate as possible? Because you don't wantmas in july yeah the seasons and easter and we're saying another 2 000 2700 years well we're not worried about 900 years we're only off by 26 seconds now so we got plenty of time that's because we took all of these other steps yeah we'd be off way off yes we hadn't done this. Yes. It'd be warm right now. Yeah, it would. Right now, we'd be dead of summer right now

because these buffoons. That's what we would say. Yeah. Alright, so then the Gregorian calendar became the new thing. But some Protestants view the Gregorian calendar as a Catholic plot. I'm one of those by the way. If Aaron calls me and says the show Sunday,

I always double check just to make sure because Gregorian calendar. You know what I mean? No, I didn't follow along any of that. Well, a Catholic plot? So countries that weren't Catholic were like, we're not doing this. We're not going to fall for this Catholic nonsense.

So countries held out. England held out until 1752. And then when they finally changed over, the citizens got mad because the calendar went from September 2nd to September 14th. And rioters said, give us back our 11 days.

They just took 11 days from them. So they just, it was like September 2nd. They go, by the way, everybody, that's, imagine that. Daylight savings. Daylight savings. Hey, everybody,

remember to turn your clock back or forward. They tell everybody that on the news. Can you imagine on the news? Hey, guys, quick heads up. Remember that thing you got to do September 14th? Well, it's tomorrow. And move your calendar up 11 days. Wow.

11 days. 11 days. I mean, that's a big leap. 11 days. 11 days. I mean, that's a big leap. There weren't Protestants for another 1,500 years, though, when this calendar came out. No, there were Protestants.

When was Martin Luther doing his thing? 1,500. That's when this is. There's stuff like this. Y'all just say. But Pope Gregory was. Was this like a college debate right here? This is 1582 when Pope Gregory did this. Oh, am I looking at the wrong Gregory?

This is Pope Gregory VIII. Oh, I I looking at the wrong Gregory? This is Pope Gregory VIII. Oh, I'm looking at Pope Gregory VII. Oh, gosh. We've got an amateur over here. There's a bunch of them. I know. Yeah, we should call him Greg. VII? He didn't do anything. Yeah, we've got Pope Gregory VIII. How many Pope Gregories were there? I mean,

eight, at least. That's a popular name. I feel like I'm sitting in the wrong college class. That's what I would go, what is this class called again? You're like, oh, we debate nonsense. It took some countries so long to switch over that in 1908, the Russians missed the first 12 days of the Olympics because they were still using the old calendar.

Didn't set their alarm clock. Didn't imagine, but their calendar clock. They go, nah, we're fine. You sure? Because if something feels off, then he goes, no, we'll be there. We will be there. Imagine them showing up to that, the Olympics, 12 days off. How long is the Olympics?

Back then, I think it went for months. Okay. It's ridiculous. I mean, well, because you had to travel by boat and stuff. I think they just combined it all into one. The fact that they even kept trying to do it, it was like it just never ended. No one could watch it. Yeah.

I mean, are we even doing the Olympics? Yeah. You get a newspaper, who won? Ah, the Americans won. When was the race? Six years ago. Just got the newspaper. Just found out.

Yeah, I was thinking about joining the Olympics. Well, you should have already started going there when you were eight. You should have started traveling to the Olympic site four years before you start training for the Olympics. Just start walking there. If someone walks in and goes, I think I'm going to be at the Olympics, well, go get a boat ticket right now. Start heading because you're not going to make it the Olympics. Well, go get a boat ticket right now. Start heading because you're not going to make it. Boat ticket. Go get a boat ticket and you're going to probably be late.

And who knows when it's going to start because we've got about 15 calendars going on throughout the world. But could you imagine training for four years and you show up and they're like, it was last Tuesday. Why? What happened? Wrong calendar. I mean, that's crazy. How many calendars? Yeah. Thankfully it was Russia, right? Yeah like it was last tuesday why what happened uh wrong calendar i mean that's crazy how many calendar yeah thankfully it was russia right yeah it was russia and not a good place

which is like a lot of people in russia listening i mean they they got to do some of the olympics russia's regular tv channels from what i understand we are on the channel we are on the CBS of Russia. We're Russia's Tonight Show. From what I get, the information I get handed to me, we are in syndication on Russian television. My bad. Russia's awesome, man. Nothing bad ever happens there.

That's fair. That's fair. Some churches, Orthodox churches, still don't use today's calendar. Orthodox churches, like if you're Latvian Orthodox, if you convert, Nate, you're Latvian Orthodox. Yeah, I will. Your Christmas, that's a George Costanza. Yeah.

Remember George? Converts. Oh, yeah. Christmas. A couple little. Christmas Day is January 7th, so Orthodox churches are celebrating Christmas this week. Oh, Merry Christmas. That sounded sincere.

Well, it is. Merry Christmas to them. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, they got to go. Their school starts back up. Are they not in the regular schools? They are.

I guess they just, I don't know what they do, but that's a good question. That's an excellent question. I don't know. Maybe they take their kids out of school. They might not believe in school. In Russia? No, I'm talking about Orthodox churches. Yeah.

Even here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of Orthodox even in Russia. Yeah. There's a lot of different types of Orthodox. Greek Orthodox, things like that. But they celebrate lot of Orthodox in Russia. Yeah. There's a lot of different types of Orthodox. Greek Orthodox, things like that. But they celebrate some of the holidays different.

China has their own calendar. China calendar. They go by animals. So they don't go by years. So this is the year of the ox. Oh, it's a fun year. Yeah. The year of the ox.

So they just say, so it's not 2021. They go by our calendar, the Gregorian calendar. Do they write ox on their checks? Do they write 1225 ox? Is that what they think? And then they go, one, four, snake. Gosh. That was...

Give me another check. What is it, Ox? Do you write it or draw it? Do I got to draw it? That could be a big problem. The calendar. Still writing snakes on all my checks. What was last

year? You know what last year was? I thought you said snake. I made that up. I don't know what 2012 was. It was a rat. A rat. The year of the rat. That says 2010 though, right? Oh, that is 2020. You're right. The year of the rat. So they 2010, though, right? Oh, that is 2020. You're right. You're right.

The year of the rat. So they're still putting rat on all their checks right now. A lot of people still are. Year of the rat. It's a good year. And the year of the ox will follow. It's actually still the year of the rat until February 11th. Oh.

Yeah, their new year is February 12th. It'll be a metal rat year. Well, that says metal. Oh, okay. Year of the ox will follow. Oh, yeah. 2021, the new year is February 12th. It'll be a metal rat year. Well, that says... Oh, okay. A year of the ox will follow. Oh, yeah. 2021, a year of the ox. So how many...

So they have... What's that? So they just keep going around. They have 12 animals that they cycle through. Yeah. Yeah. They keep... Yeah.

So it's not like they have to... That kind of looks like that graph we looked at last week. Dragon, rabbit, tiger, ox, pig, dog, rooster, monkey, goat. Snake. There is a year of the snake. Yeah. Yeah. 2025.

2025. It's going to be the year of the snake. So it's more ceremonial than everyday use. Yeah. They don't write that on their chest. Very funny to think about that. No, that would be so wonderful. January 5th, rooster. What's today's animal that's a 25 box today's uh penguin okay so october 11th penguin

ah it mailed it off in afghanistan and uh iran it's currently the year 1399 oh because they just they're just like we're doing our own thing yeah so our calendar started uh current one started when with the birth of christ and there started with the birth of Christ. And theirs started with the Prophet Muhammad made his journey from Mecca to Medina in year 622. Man, 1399. So if you go, that's crazy. It's just 13, what is it, 1399? So next year is 1400 for them. That's a big year.

1400s, dude. I mean, that's a big even one. They're just getting out of the middle ages. I bet they're doing all the, like what we did in 1999, 2000. They're going to discover America pretty soon. Well, we were all scared of 1999, 2000. Oh, yeah. The millennium.

We got 600 years to get ready for the Y2K. Oh, man. We should give them a heads up that it's not that crazy. Yeah. Just go ahead and start. Yeah, $1,399. They're not even on. It's funny that you would think that at least they'd be at the same number of us, like $1,999.

They're going to be $1,400 next year, and we're 2021. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Yeah. I mean, there is. So like legal documents Like that's the legal year I think so I think so

Interesting I think they really Go by I don't know how many legal documents They have but In Ethiopia It's the year That's why you don't date any of them

Because they're so old I feel No Because they're Old Because they're I mean Date of birth

You get to meet You introduce them to your parents uh when were you born 1384 she's like oh my god you look unbelievable i'll be honest with you you look great you look great wow uh that just means someone right now. Just, I mean, can you drink here yet? I don't know. Were you born in 1360? If you were not born before 1360, you're like,

I mean, my daughter can drink over there. Or maybe she can't. No, she's from the future. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. She knows some stuff.

In Ethiopia right now, it's the year 2013 because they calculated their calendar differently when christ was born they have him being born in the year 7 bc by our calendar center so they're eight years behind us he was actually born in like 4 bc right yes now did that come from it was that a miscalculation as well or was it that was so that came from a uh a monk sixth century monk said hey we should start the calendar on when jesus was born and he did some one guy said that um and then he's the one that came up with it i think so yeah one guy just one dude i mean everybody's affected by it and just one guy just walks in a A sixth century monk.

Hey, I was out with Pope Gregory last night. And he said I could say this. And Pope Gregory's like, tell him. Tell him. Go ahead and say it. And he goes, all right, I will say it. A sixth century monk known as Dennis the Small. Dennis.

Dennis is a very funny comedy name. I've always loved the name Dennis. He came up with the AD system, but he miscalculated Christ's birth, so what he said was the year 1 AD, probably Christ was born between 6 to 4 BC, so he was a little

off. And they left out zero. There is no zero. It goes from 1 BC to 1 AD. So that's why Newman's Pneumonian Party was off. It was off. Yeah. Because there's no year zero. Why didn't they do zero? Because no one wanted to say zero that whole year?

I don't think they just... It wasn't in their number system, the concept of nothing. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So they wrote calendars. Were they going 1-1-1? I don't know how many checks they were writing back then. They had to write a date. They didn't write a date.

They wouldn't write a date on anything. I don't know if people were even writing, I guess. Were they writing? Yeah. Were you paying for stuff? You were trading. Like, oh, it was all barter? They had money back then.

They had gold coins. Yeah, I don't know if they had dates on them. And you don't put, like, when there wasn't a contract? Yeah, there probably was. You have to put a there was a contract. Yeah, there probably was. Something where you have to put a date on the contract. Yeah, that's true. They write 1-1-1, 1-2-1. Yeah.

12-21, you know? Yeah. You don't think that was 2-2-2 and they got all real excited? Oh, this won't happen again ever. Well, when was this? When did they decide to start counting? This is like 500 years? Yeah, the year 525. Okay. okay so who knows what they were doing at the actual time 180 i mean

negative one i would say then they were were they doing calendars then like i mean one you go from 1 AD to 1 BC, the system's running about the same. It's not like there's cars the next year. Yeah. So a guy that's 20 years old at 1 AD is 21 at 1 BC. What's he doing? That's actually a pretty good point. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That's what i would love to talk to

about a maybe a 34 year old i'd like to talk to someone that was 33 than 34 oh yeah when it switched from bc to ad yeah yeah i don't need too much you know him getting some tiring about how he's probably mad the calendar change you get too old you get a guy that's 60 he's like this is ridiculous that we're even doing this yeah he can't even think back you get too old you get a guy that's 60 he's like this is ridiculous that we're even doing this yeah he can't even think back you know too young doesn't care he's about a maybe 40 year old yeah that goes what's your opinion on it he's like well i'll tell you he's somebody like you your age yeah my age it goes you just want to talk to the you of yeah that time pretty much yeah i try to figure out what they were calling the years before this

monk came up with this because this was the year 525 he said he said basically let's start doing this system so i don't know what year it was before you know i'm you understand yeah yeah for sure yeah maybe they weren't making big calendar announcements. Yeah. You know? Like, it wasn't a big deal. You know, the newspaper came out, and it's like, today's this day. Today's. They were just like, many moons ago. Yeah. That's all they'd say.

Yeah, there's a lot of that. When were you born? 100 suns ago. And you're like, all right. What? How old is he? 16 moons old. And you're like, oh, wow. He oh wow little baby uh 52 moons yeah so maybe they

do by moons it's weird to think about there might not have been a reason to keep track of time that precisely up until then you know yeah not a lot going on it takes a long time to get a letter you don't want to know how long it takes you know if you have time then you're going to know god that is slow because the post office is like listen we don't need to keep track we don't even worry about it we need to get here felt like you got here pretty quick i felt like i didn't send it that long ago and they go you know what it is quick in the grand scheme of things in the grand scheme of things if you don't know if there's not a number being thrown at you that goes this is taking a long time yeah you don't know i sent you that letter and you're like i got here fast and then once you start throwing time man we started getting like speed stuff up yeah yeah that makes sense mayans the mayans had a calendar that went

from the year 31 14 bc to december 21st 2012 and that's as far as it went so many people thought the world was going to i shouldn't say many many people thought the world was going to end. I shouldn't say many. Some people thought the world was going to end in 2012. I did. And I'm a big fan of the Mayans, though. I love what they do. Yeah, I remember the Mayans calendar.

I remember people talking about the Mayans calendar. Yeah. But they just got tired. Yeah. 2012, they go, you get it. They should have wrote et cetera. Yep. That's what they should have wrote. 2012, they go, you get it. They should have wrote, et cetera. That's what they should have wrote. 2012, et cetera, I can't keep.

Did they just stop? Were they like, listen, we're enough in advance. We don't need to do another year. Yeah, can you imagine if you started 34 BC, then you got it right? You would eventually go, all right. My hand's killing me. we're not even going to be if a hand, you're probably just having to chip it away.

Chisel's killing me. You know how many times I've hit my thumb? Year 100, 200 was brutal. Run out of rocks. And they should have just said, they know it keeps going. By the time we get to 2012,

they're going to be like, they're probably going to have. Somebody else will have kept going. You know, nobody stepped up. No one stepped up. Yeah. Yep.

So, now people are trying to change BC and AD. You guys know BC and AD, but people don't like it. It's based on Jesus' life, so they're trying to change it now. They want to call BC BCE, before Common Era,

and AD, change it to CE, Common Era. I've seen that before. Common Era? What does that mean? Just means the era that we're in now. BCE, they call that post or pre-modern times i guess yeah but i mean we didn't make up the bc they made up the bc right well uh catholic monks catholic yeah

yeah yeah but now like just modern day if their time caught on then they should just be like then we just call that they won and it's been doing pretty good for 2,000 years. So why would you all of a sudden be like, well, we don't want it? You're like, well, because they won. Well, this one scientist came up. How much BC talk is even going on in people's lives that they're so upset about? And then they just go before commenting. If you're going to change it, change it.

Don't just write off BC. Be like, change it to complete. All right. I got one right here. The scientists and historians come up with the human era calendar. And it begins 12,000 years ago. So this would be the year 12,021. He had 10,000 years to the current calendar.

Because he says all of humanity has basically been during the last 12,000 years. So he wants this to start from when hunter-gatherer lifestyle went to fixed settlements. And that guy could be solving cancer, and he's being a nightmare. We should be 12,021. So that's what we're going to do, man? We're going to go change all the counters? We got to tweet everybody out to say, hey say hey everybody start writing 12,021 on your checks do you know how gigantic numbers that is i would i'm glad that i'm the time that i'm at

i don't want to be in that 10,000 11,000 what is that gonna what do you gotta write then you check you you the the line the dateline is going to have to become gigantic. Yeah. I was born in 21. When? 10,021. Oh God. Imagine talking to those people.

If you were born in 9,085, you got to talk to, I was born in 10,021. Here we go. Here we go. Have you ever written check? I have before. Yeah. Yeah. Rent. You know how to do it? Yeah. Stuff like that. Here we go. Have you ever written a check? I have before, yeah. You know how to do it?

I've never, at a store, I've never written a check or anything. I'm guessing you still write them? Yeah. He's still. I mean, I have, yeah. I still have a checkbook, I'll say that. Occasionally.

That's all he'll say. Don't ask any more questions. Because he's not going to talk about all that stuff. He'll say that. Yeah. Occasionally. That's all he'll say. Don't read it. Don't ask any more questions. Because that's how he's not going to talk about all that stuff. He holds a gun to my head. Yeah. He holds a gun to my head. Who's holding these guns to these people's heads? Did I talk about that joke?

That was the joke I always would try to do on stage. I've heard you do that joke. Yeah. Yeah, I've tried it like once or twice. Have I talked about it on this? I don't think you have. The idea of just the saying, if you have a gun to your head, you think you can do this?

Like, who's holding these guns to these people's heads for no reason? It's, you know, it was always like, can you name the starting lineup for the Kansas City Royals? With a gun to my head, you're like, who? What kind of friend do you have that's got a gun to your head going, name the shortstop of the 1989 Kansas City Royals? Name them. And you're like, ah.

Who's that into sports? Maybe we'll try it again. Bring it back. Kansas City Royals. Yeah. Try it tonight. That's a good example. Yeah.

A Frank Costanza type guy came up with his own calendar. The International Fixed Calendar has 13 months. There's some random days just thrown in there, not attached to it. No Mondays, because no one likes Mondays. And Easter always falls the same day. Christmas would always be on a Wednesday.

So, George Eastman of the Kodak Company, or Eastman Kodak, he's the only guy that really... I've never heard of it. What is it? Eastman Kodak? No. You've heard of the Kodak Photography Company, though only guy that really... I've never heard of it. What is it? Eastman Kodak? No. You've heard of Kodak Photography Company, though. Oh, yeah. George Eastman, the guy who ran the company.

He made them use this... His name got left off. That Kodak. No one knows. Does anybody know about Eastman? I thought it used to be called Eastman Kodak. Is it not? I've only ever known of this Kodak. Eastman got the raw deal.

What's those old airlines? There's some old airlines. I've only ever known him as Kodak. Kodak. Okay. Eastman got the raw deal. He got pushed out. What's those old airlines that they used to – there's some old airlines. My wife's dad would always mention some airline. And it's like Southeast Airs. It's something that you're like, I've never – and he's like, I flew it all the time. It was like a main airline. It just went away? Yeah, it just goes away i mean you know

you uh what was the golly there was one continental yeah remember that i've heard of it yeah yeah continental i used to fly continental and they switched to united and then they're all gone oh united is continental yeah yeah they combined them and now they combined it didn't just change i was like continental was the first airline that I actually had some status on because I was starting to fly a lot. And I would fly them a lot. And then United was joining. And then they joined them. And then they kind of weaned me off of them.

And then it's just all United. Well, my bank is changing names. SunTrust is changing to like Truist or something. Yeah. And they keep sliding it in. It's a very slow rollout. First, I just noticed it. Like, what is that written on the bottom of the website? Yeah. And it's sliding it in. It's a very slow rollout. First, I just noticed it. Like, what is that written on the bottom of the website?

Yeah. And it's getting bigger and bigger. Mm-hmm. And they're trying to implement. I think. That was Union Planners. Yeah, I remember Union Planners. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's old school. Yeah. Yeah. But I think the Brave Stadium is going to have to change names to Truist Park. Truist Park. I think it's Truist.

Something like that. But the reason Eastman probably didn't get mentioned is because he tried this dumb calendar idea. He was the only one doing it. That's why. That's the great finish of what it is. From 1928 to 1989, he used this international

fixed calendar at his company. And he was like the only one that kept doing it. Nobody else would try it. He even opened an office for headquarters for the International Fixed Calendar League. But it just never took off. Cause of death, suicide by gunshot. Yeah, well, don't start a calendar. Is that true?

Yeah, that's what it says on Wikipedia. Got ridiculed. I mean, look, I'm sorry that he died that way uh but he looked like he had you know two friends work my work is done while wait oh in his final two years he was uh an intense pain caused by a disorder affecting his spine so he was in a ton of pain that's why he did it uh but why he would not be listed with the Kodak, you've never heard of that, is because that shows you,

if you got something going that's good, as they did, Eastman and Kodak, they got a good thing going, and he goes, I kind of want to do this calendar. That's like someone that gets too rich. Yeah. There they go, and too much power. I'm going, I have no idea, no idea by the way any of this is

true but this is just what i'm imagining so if you're listening this and you're part of the eastman family you might be like that's not true at all and you could be right and i bet the kodak family loves hearing it to be honest but they if you but that that shows you right there that hurts you like that i would imagine that someone that gets so much power yeah that they and they get so crazy they go you know what i'm gonna start my own calendar and then kodak's like you can't that's gonna just just do the camera stuff dude that's what we're doing that's what we're really good at you're not good at a calendar thing just because you're rich doesn't mean you're smart you know and then he goes tries to do a new calendar and look names off of it i've never

bought eastman and kodak film yeah never this is like this was like his festivus and he thought it was going to take off and it didn't couldn't keep it quiet try to get it try to make them start using it yeah all the support yeah like force the company to use it it's like one thing if you're doing it on your own like hey i made this new calendar and yeah like but you start making everybody doing something like that, and now your name's off. No one knows who you are. He's going to the doctor for that spinal injury. He's filling out all the paperwork.

And he's like, it's the email. Oh, yeah. He needs you to come back in two weeks. Oh, sorry. And he needs you to come back in seven Wednesdays from now. He just uses Wednesday. His calendar says that there's no longer a July 4th. Independence Day will now be Seoul 16.

Seoul is a month that he added, he created. This is a 13-month calendar. I mean, come on, man. You can't tell me that plays into why his name is not on. He's like a guy that came so rich and famous. I don't know if they were famous, they were you're you're you just got a lot of money back then too he was born you know 1917 like all that stuff so he's this dude's got just he's just gigantic wealth and he's he was the equivalent of a billionaire now but he was worth

85 million when he died in 1930 yeah and then his name's name's off, just use Kodak Films. I mean, that's his name's off. Yeah, I bet Kodak is like, listen, he was important, but he was a nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare. He always had these big ideas. Oh, God.

Let's do a 13-month calendar. You don't even know. You don't even know what I had to deal with. It's, yeah. But don't you think some of these brilliant wonder why our shipping was off you know you ever you ever said i don't use kodak i don't know there's stuff takes forever to get to you oh let me tell you why because it's dated sold 92 yeah and no one knows what that is because we're off on soul month and that's when you asked for it. But that's the month we have to be off.

We're closed. The Soviet Union tried that, their own calendar, where you each get a day. Your day is blue day, and your day is green day, stuff like that. And it just didn't work. People were working different hours. There's been a lot of crazy calendars. Your day is blue day?

They would assign families. They thought it would pick up productivity.'s been a lot of crazy challenges. Like your day is blue day? Like they would assign families. They thought it would pick up productivity. They did a five-day week. Yeah. And they're like, your day's blue, so those are the days you work. And then your day's green. So you just looked at the calendar, and if it was blue. You got to go to work.

It's like, you know, hit nail wall. Like that's just like caveman. hit nail wall. That's just like cavemans. When your day, when you see the color yellow, eat your food. They didn't want people celebrating. It was partially to get rid of Christianity

because they didn't want people taking the day off on the weekend to worship. Yeah. I know, but we try to keep getting off the system and then it's like it all kind of comes back it does well we got a pretty good thing going uh some guy came up with an invention called the positivist calendar every day every day is 20 every month 28 days there's a standalone day at the end of the year for the dead

to honor the dead and every leap year they have an extra day dedicated to women. Women's Day. Each day will be named after a historic person. It didn't take off either. So you have Women's Day, and then one day of every month is a day for the dead? No, it's a standalone, monthless day at the end of every year. So one day a year, it's dedicated to the dad. I mean, but that's like, are people working that day? Or do you have to do stuff that day?

Like, that's the, I think these people, when they make these new counters, they don't go in, so what do you do on that day? It's like, well, we all stay at home, and you stand at, you stare at the ground or something. You know, like, I don't, you know, it's like they don't think, all right, but everybody's got to live a regular ground you know like i don't you know it's like they don't think all right but everybody's got to live a regular life like they don't introduce holidays right holidays would be is the idea that these people think of you know what's interesting is there's a lot of these old older kind of revisions it's like they don't care about cooperating with

the rest of the world right it's like clearly we need to all be working on the same we need to all agree on what day and time it is yeah to do any kind of international commerce yeah but i guess if this is you know if the 500s or whatever you don't have to worry about that at all so that's the catholic over here won't stick with the gregory calendar i mean in afghanistan they invented phones in 1384 they're killing it i mean they're a little bit better than us and in the grand scheme of things when people look back on it we are going to look like just zoo animals compared to these other countries that are like so in 1200 they they had the same technology as they did in 2000 how stupid were

they so they might actually be on to something unbelievable. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. You're not so smart now, are you? This George Eastman idea, I mean, Christmas was a different day. It was... Every time it would be. It would just be the Wednesday.

Yeah, it was on a Wednesday, so you couldn't celebrate with the rest of... If you worked there... How do you even present something like this? Like, where do you go? Where do you go? He probably runs it by his wife first, right? I mean, you throw the idea out. Yeah, you just kind of.

And then you start doing it. Then I guess you can start with your company. But I mean, how do you get it? How do you, if I want to start a new calendar right now. Yeah. Bargetti and calendar. I mean, this is how it starts. Yeah.

We want to do just our own calendar. Yep. I donti and calendar. I mean, this is how it starts. Yeah. We want to do just our own calendar. Yep. I don't know what... The Nathan. I mean, I'm kind of good with everything that's going on right now.

You know what I would change? What? A new day starts at midnight and I always thought it should start like around sunrise. So I would change the new day starting at...

5 a.m.? Yeah, something like that. But sunrise is different. I know it varies, but it's just always been weird to me. The middle of the night, it changes to a new day. Because it still feels like the first day. Yeah. Yeah.

Because if you're like, I was out partying last night until 3 a.m., you don't say, you just kind of count it as that previous day. Like 1 a.m. would be like, well, it's technically tomorrow, so you want to get rid of technically tomorrow. Yeah. But I think you've got to pick a time. Well, I would say 5 a.m. 5 a.m. would be like, well, it's technically tomorrow. So you want to get rid of technically tomorrow. Yeah. But I think you've got to pick a time. Well, I would say 5 a.m. 5 a.m.

6 a.m., something like that. Yeah. Yeah, 6 a.m. is too. I could get on board with that. That wouldn't change much. Maybe we should just start doing it. Yeah. Maybe we'll start one.

I don't know. Are you not on board with this? I could see like 2 a.m., 3 a.m. I don't know. Midnight, it starts over. It's technically part of the next morning. That's what we're saying. We're saying, but it's just.

But it's like when you wake up, doesn't it be like, well, now you start on the first part of the day. Yeah, well, that started when people were going to bed at like 5 p.m. because you had to do everything by candlelight. It's like, dude, we're basically nocturnal animals now. You know? You were just talking about your daughter stays up until 2 or 3 in the morning. She did once.

She doesn't normally go. Sounds like lunatic parents that are like, we let her go to bed when she tells us to go to bed. She tells us to go to bed, and then we go to bed and she stays up. She gives us a bedtime. Yeah. That's how it works. What would you change? I don't know.

I think I would say I like everything. I would say I would like to change it. They go, great. I go, what do you want to do? I know. I think I would say I like everything. I would say I would like to change it. They go, great. I go, what do you want to do? I go, I think it's pretty good, actually. And let's keep it the same. And then people would cheer. I would change daylight savings.

That would be done. Keep it. I would just do that. You'd get rid of it? Yeah, get rid of it. No, keep it. Oh, keep it. Yeah, whatever you do to make it a better one.

Yeah. Not have to worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yeah. whatever you do to make it a better one. Yeah. Not have to worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was in the press conferences. So you want to keep it or say, I go, I don't, whatever makes it not a problem. Yeah.

We're due that way. Yeah. It doesn't, no one ever knows what's going on anyway. Yeah. But that's the way we're going to do it. Yeah. And then I wouldn't, I don't know what else you would change. Go ahead.

I'd make the season start on the first days of months. Stop worrying about the summer solstice and all that. So winter starts January 1st or maybe December 1st. You've got a lot of problems with these calendars. Y'all are real upset about the calendar. I would be like to be able to know when stuff is. It's March 21st, right? Is the first day of spring.

Is it always the March 21st? Yeah. I think so, yeah. Oh. All right. But if you want it March 1st. Yeah, I'd like it maybe April 1st. So you can wrap that around your big dumb head.

So we know that this. Because you can't. I'd like to know this whole month is this season. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Instead of going, okay. When's fall?

September 21st, I think, is when it starts. All right. I thought it was just this year it was that. I didn't know it doesn't change. All right. You thought this year was what? Oh, you thought it changed every time? Yeah, I thought it was just whatever.

I didn't know the solstice changed. Feels like summer now. That's what people say. And then they just go to summer. I mean, we kind of do. Don't you? Like, you don't look at the calendar and say, if you're playing, because summer starts June 21st. But if you're playing golf on June 6th, it's 90 degrees.

Yeah. I mean, it's like, oh, it's springtime. But you feel like you get summer earlier. I feel like you get it earlier than you always get it earlier. You I go, it's springtime. Yeah. You feel like you get summer earlier. I feel like you get it earlier than you, you always go with the climate change guy. Yeah. But you always get it earlier. Like,

you know, it's, you're never like today's the day. Yeah. Like in March, sometimes, you know, I would do groundhog day more serious.

I would take it more serious in my calendar. Yeah. That's what I would do. That would be official holiday and winter. I would, yeah. I'd really give it a, give it a go and really look at that groundhog, see what he has to say.

Would we get a day off? Yeah, because I'd want his opinion on things. So it would be not just a funny holiday. It would be something we'd take seriously. Would you add a week on to February, or would you just? And make the, instead of it being 28. Yeah, if it sees a shadow we're gonna make

February 2 or would that you can't be that's complicated there's reasons I think you work in the boundaries that you have okay

I would change Easter to be the same day every year yeah I can see that I looked up what I don't even know how Easter fell

the rule of Easter is the Sunday after the full moon that is next after the March equ that is next after the March equinox on the Gregorian calendar. So obviously that's the place where it makes the most sense to put it.

I feel like at first they said the full moon and they go, okay. And then they tried that and they go, Oh no, it's actually, that's a guy that keeps no, no, no. Full moon after he keeps the full moon part. You're like, okay, I guess that's fine. And then it didn't work out once and then he's like well af okay okay listen listen yeah i remember one time easter being like at the end of february so i mean it's crazy if well i think i just read that's impossible didn't

i after the march equinox yeah yeah. Yeah. But it does range. Maybe early March. I remember it being insanely early. Yeah, it can range from late March to all the way through April. Okay.

But you remember in February. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now I don't think I do. Maybe you're Orthodox. I remember because I used to come during.

What year do you think this is? Well, he still has Christmas on December 6th. 5,000. Yeah. I go by the Jewish calendar. Yeah. 5,287. Yeah. I go by the Jewish calendar. Yeah. 5,287.

Yeah. I just remember it conflicting with, we're always playing baseball growing up. Right. Right around Easter time. Right. And I remember it always falling like during Holy Week and all that stuff. We'd be playing games. And I remember it came super early one year.

I would have bet a lot of money that it was february yeah i think that was toyota-thon again yeah i think you're again confusing you guys love toyota-thon you guys celebrate that more than you let on we had a toyota minivan with the one to one sliding door yeah this is actually at a baseball game in the parking lot my older brother that door just slid right off the car into the parking lot we had the we had to bungee cable it to the car drive home with this door just oh my gosh yeah it's pretty embarrassing yeah is it y'all didn't y'all just leave with it open just leave the car door at the in the parking lot no like just throw it in the back of the van i guess i think we had room man we had six of us in there.

It was packed in there. And we wanted to put the door back on. So how do we? Did you get it back on? I think, yeah, we ended up getting to put it back on for sure. You could have been just a pretty awesome van. It's like a Jeep. Yeah.

Just open air. Just open air. Yeah. Get out. Get out. You could still do that with your minivan now. I could. Yeah.

Do you guys know how we came up With a week being seven days I don't know why I keep asking this Yeah I do Okay I'd like to hear us Continue to take stabs at it

Alright Give it a stab So why we came And I read Two to three different answers Okay Two to three different ideas Yeah

Why we have seven days in a week? Yeah, like how do we come up with that? Just felt right, you know. Is it because of the moon? That's one of them. Moon cycles? Yeah. Is it biblical at all?

That's what I always heard growing up. God created the earth in six days, rest on the seventh day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that's why I always thought of it. That's what I would have known. Yeah. Yeah.

The moon has four main phases. so some people say per month so some people say that's what a week was based on yeah and the other thing i read the babylonians they gave it the number seven for the weeks because there were seven objects they could see in the sky the sun sunday The sun, Sunday. The moon, Monday. Then some gods that didn't match up. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter. And Saturday, Saturn. Oh, interesting. So those were the seven. Tuesday was like, well, what's Tuesday?

Like tops of those trees. And you go, oh, wow. Tuesday. Treetops. Yeah. Wednesday is wind You know Wind It's always windy in there

But you can't see wind But you know it's there Alright Alright I'll give it to you Wednesday I remember Thursday was Thor They

Oh okay That's where that came from They could see Thor I'm talking constellations No They're Greek gods They're gods They named it after

What was Friday? Thor's mom or something I mean, I can't remember It was like Freyda Yeah It was something like that Oh, okay Yeah

That actually makes a ton of sense Freyda Friday I'll give them that one I'll give them that That actually, yeah Days are actually getting slightly longer Because the Earth's rotation is slowing down

Atomic clocks show that the modern day Is longer by 1.7 milliseconds Than it was a century ago And it's creasing by 2.3 milliseconds Every century I feel it today I'll be honest with you Oh what a day Some days I can feel it Some days i can't this is one of those days i can you know

what i mean wow um do you want to segue into uh i mean i got more here but yeah we can segue into new year's resolutions if you want do a couple more what do we got i'll do one more here we got uh so the jul calendar, named after Julius Caesar, he was the first one to make it January 1st is the New Year day. But during the Middle Ages, which we've covered, we don't know much about, but during the Middle Ages, Christians that weren't Catholic, they got mad about it, and they're like, we ain't doing that.

So they started changing their own New Year. Did they say, we ain't doing that? Is that the actual, they said, we ain't doing that? That's actual. We ain't doing that. Hey, Julius Caesar. I'd like a word with you. Let me tell you something. We ain't doing that.

We the Lutherans ain't doing that. We ain't doing it. We and the Calvinists. We ain't going to do it. Where are you guys from? Lebanon, Tennessee? And we ain't doing that. What county are you from?

Wilson. Wilson. And we ain't doing that. In the year 567, the Council of Tours, that's T-O-U-R-S, abolished January 1st as the beginning of the year. And it went, for a while it was December 25th. Then they changed it to March 1st. Then they changed it to March 1st. Then they changed it to March 25th. Because it's my birthday.

March 25th? Mm-hmm. Well, we covered a couple weeks on the Christmas episode. That's when people, that's nine months before Christmas, and they think that's when the angel Gabriel came to Mary and said, you'll be with child. So nine months later, December 25th, is how we came up with Christmas.

So there you go the council of tours right there 567 or 461 there's two oh oh 567 they had two tours anyway they did two tours yeah of council all right so maybe i found that more interesting than you guys did no i liked it i think it's good i don't know i mean what do you think would happen if the earth just stopped rotating it'd be bad quick yeah yeah real quick i mean you said we're going a thousand miles an hour so if we stopped at zero we'd die for sure we'd have whiplash for sure all over i mean yeah i'd say we fall over i mean my pin would start rolling like oh no i don't know if any buildings would stay up

if everything put on the brakes all of a sudden if it all just went i mean stop yeah if a quick stop or a slow slow down a sudden stop like we're we're just we would all just die right we'd all die for sure i don't think we'd even know what happened you'd be like just you wouldn't even see the room shaking the inertia of going,000 miles an hour and then just stopping. Yeah. We'd all be dead. Sorry I brought that up. I was just – I've been thinking about that all episode.

Yeah. Talked about the earth spinning. Yeah. It was like your insides would feel normal. Then it's just – yeah, it'd be ugly. I don't think we'd ever know. I don't think you'd realize that. Do you think we'd just die instantly?

Yeah. I would hope so. Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't think we'd ever know i don't think we just die instantly yeah i would hope so yeah i guess you're right i'd rather die than live in a world i mean you might have to like you'll wake up and you know china's over here like in the you know like that map everything just flips goes with it well if it's nighttime it's going to stay nighttime that's true you're stuck with whatever time of day it is but hey if it's daytime, it's going to stay nighttime. That's true. You're stuck with whatever time of day it is. But hey, if it's daytime, you can play golf around the clock. All day.

Does the seasons stay the same? You kind of stuck on one season? Not necessarily. Because the earth's still rotating the sun. Still going around the sun. In this hypothetical scenario. It's just no longer spinning on its axis. So it's moving still.

It's still moving. But just not spinning. This might work out for you. Yeah. Maybe we should look into this. Maybe make it happen. Just kind of brace yourself for impact. Maybe strap yourself.

Starting to get Eastman a little bit more. You could be the George Eastman of our time. And I'm going to make everybody walk around with seatbelts. And they're going to go, why? Because I'm going to make the earth stop at one point. January 7th. And Superman did that at one point, right? He stopped it and sent it back the other way.

We went back in time. So just don't do the last part. Just stop it. But then is everything going to reverse? And then we all start walking around backwards. Everywhere you go, you have to walk backwards because you're going to reverse. Never know where you're going.

Where are you going? I don't know. But it already knows. Because you've already been there. So you would just always go, I'm just going where I'm going. And you can never tell someone to meet you somewhere because they go, but I would like to go. Well, if you wanted to go, then you're going to be there like to go well if you wanted to go then you're going to be there

if you don't then you go where you're going to go because we're already going somewhere and I have no choice it's the idea of your life's already planned out for you you're walking backwards where are you going man I don't know but I'm going

you'd be a lot of going you want to go eat later we'll see I don't know. But I'm going. You'd be a lot of going like, you want to go eat later? We'll see. I guess we'll see if I go eat later. Yeah, I would love to go eat later, but it's not up to me. And I would be jogging backwards. I'll say this, me and two guys jogging backwards. I'm like, I'm surprised I was jogging this much.

Would you rather go backwards or forward in your life? I'd rather keep it it is dude yeah but would you enjoy going are you going back in time or you're just walking backwards i think you're just retracing every step you've already taken so you'll know when you'll eat right and you're not going to remember but you're going to say are we going to eat are you hungry like i'm starving right now so i hope i eat go eat yeah and then you're just along for i think you're along for the ride yeah Yeah. I don't think you can ever, you ever. You probably remember that first meal when it first happens. Yeah. You'd be like, well, I'm not hungry right now.

And you're like, and then you would get, I guess you would go from hungry to, you'd go from full to not hungry or to hunger. Yeah. Backwards. Yeah. But if you ate at Applebee's six hours ago, when reversed you'll remember In six hours I'm back at Applebee's I dropped something when I was there I'll just grab it

I'll pick it up You know what I lost my home I left my wallet there Don't worry I'll get it I'll get it again And you just Start backing out That's how it would be i read where there's a group

of scientists studying right now why time always goes forward and never backwards it seems like because you can only time travel forwards because of that right i mean i can't get my head around even why you would have to think about that i would think backwards would be tougher to do than forward. Cause everything's got to go back. Everything's already existed. Forward is like nothing exists there. So you could.

Forward is theoretically, if you travel faster than the speed of light, then you can speed up time, right? You can jump ahead, but you can never go backwards. You can't go negative, you know?

But I know what Nate's saying. Going forward, you're going to stuff that hasn't happened to us yet, in theory. Going back, yeah. If I could go back in time, would I maybe not choose calendars? Maybe. Who knows?

That's what you'd do? I think we know. Let's do something different than calendars. You know? I like this one i know i'm joking i didn't mind it too uh that's fair yeah that's fair uh you want to get in some resolutions uh let's do a couple of those yep all right all right well do you set new year's resolutions uh i did and apparently didn't follow through because it was to stop this podcast uh

so i'm already out no uh i uh no i'm going to i'm going to try to eat better my this year is like i've been working out uh i'm trying to get a lot better at golf i practice a lot of golf especially this downtime uh so for me mine's done comedy related i mean i'm hoping once comedy gets going i'll i want to i plan on being back at the road, but that's career stuff. I don't think it's really resolution. Like I'm just going to trust. I'm hoping that I'm going to write better material, two or a ton and get better as a

standup. Uh, and then for like, I want to get really good at golf. I'm at like a four handicap. I'd love to get already really good. I know, but I know how good good is is and so i know how far off i am and uh so i would love to get i want to get to a scratch at some point in my life would be great uh which is a ton of work and then i want to work out and i've got to eat better i know that because i i'm actually working out now and i'm not seeing uh i feel stronger and stuff's getting stronger but i don't see results and that's

because i eat you know i've had krispy kreme twice since the krispy kreme challenge then you can't do that you can't do stuff like that yeah you can't do it as a joke and then basically eat the same amount again as a regular day you know uh so that's my yeah so it's not yeah i guess it's new year's you feel like i start here but i won't keep a you know yeah journal or something do you i i gave up fast food this year i made it four hours into my trip home from wisconsin did you really weekend yeah and already i panera it was like is that really fast food it felt like a a healthy option. Yeah, it's healthy. I think if you go to Panera, it's way better. I look at stuff, it's like if you go do, if I just stopped eating, like for me, if I stopped

eating fast food, we'd be off to a great start. Yeah. Because you just naturally can't. You're not going to eat as bad. But yeah, that's good. Yeah. All right. Sorry, do it?

Yeah. All right. I'll do it. Yeah, because you don't, I don't, I think Panera, you can let that slide. Yeah. It says, the Pew Research Center says. Did you do one? Yeah. Did right. I'll do it. Yeah, because you don't – I think Panera. You can let that slide. Yeah. It says – the Pew Research Center says – Did you do one? Yeah, did you do one?

Yeah, I mean, I've definitely gained weight during the pandemic, so I'm hoping to get back from large to medium shirts. Oh, man. To be a large. To be a large shirt? Just to – the freedom, shopping. Now, I don't have it with i get it i don't have it because i there's my old joke i want you to not be see my nipples through my shirt and i have a big problem with that and uh so i would love to get that i would love i know my

buddy graham k comic from canada still funny but from canada and i'm not joking that's i just always like i text him every boxing day yeah yeah i tell you that yeah i love i text him happy boxing day it's always it's fun uh but graham's got a great body and i remember we went shopping once and i was like he can just put on stuff like you can put on a mannequin yeah where it's just you know it's just do this. He's like, I'll wear that. I don't care. They don't care.

I mean, you see kids. Kids just wear, they can wear whatever. Yeah. And it all just looks fine. And then the way ours drapes. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Drapes off some weird spots. So the most popular resolutions, number one, getting rid of debt.

Number two, eating debt. Number two, eating healthier. Number three, exercising more. Number four, losing weight. So the three of the top four are all kind of the same thing. But according to us news and world report,

the failure rate for new year's resolutions is said to be about 80% and most lose their break it by mid February. And research shows that on average it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic wow 66 days that's you know depends on the counter you're using but that's yeah it should be four years to two months two and a half moon cycles i joined planet fitness the day after ral May died. I joined Planet Fitness, and I have never been. And you have to go into Planet Fitness to cancel it. So I don't know if I'll ever cancel it.

I've been paying $10 a month for three, four years. Is that typical, like y'all's New Year's resolution, one of other fat one of you dies, then you – that's when you – is that like y'all's new year's resolutions i was working that night my boss comes in he goes hey i heard about that uh that ralphie may guy that died i go yes yeah he's a really nice guy he goes kind of lets you know yeah i go oh my god that's so yeah yeah because in my head we're like two different worlds right and then i'm like oh man so i got on and joined Planet Fitness.

I was like, I'm going tomorrow, and I've never been. And I called when the pandemic started, and I was like, okay, now you've got to let me cancel over the phone because I'm not allowed to be there. And they're like, we'll put a freeze on your account, and then it'll start back up, and we open back up. And I'm like, ah, gosh. Still can't get out. Because I just think if you've got to come in to do it, you won't do it.

Oh, that's Still can't get out. Because I just think if you've got to come in to do it, you won't do it. Could you work out? Oh, that's their business model. If 100% of the people that subscribed and went there, there'd be no room. Yeah. They're banking on a big percentage never going. And just keep paying. I had one for a while, and I canceled it. I think we, I forget why.

Maybe Laura did. Yeah. You get Laura to do it, she'll do it. She'll go down there for me and cancel. That's my New Year's resolution is to cancel my gym. There's an episode of Friends where Chandler and Ross go down, do it together. Oh, yeah. They both get memberships.

Oh, to cancel it? Yeah. And what, it's the guy talks to them? There's a hot woman behind the counter and she talks them both in together. I don't think there's anybody like that at this Planet Fitness. You would go, yeah, but I never think you're not big like Ralphie was. Thank you. Yeah, that's what happens.

I know that, but still, that's what I'm talking about. He's a lot younger than Ralphie, though. That's true. That's true. You've got to get a head start on him. He would be. Because Ralphie, I think, was a lot skinnier than you at your age. So, anyway, from the stuff that I've read about,

I think Ralphie weighed about maybe a deuce, deuce and a half at 27. How old are you, Gary? I'm going to just do some math on here. No, you're just a big guy. If you worked out, you would be. All right. I wouldn't look at you as like – I always say, I don't think if I saw you,

I would never think of you as like, oh, this fat guy i would be like just a big dude yeah big guys guys are big i guess my question was if you could cancel online it'd be 100 cancellation 100 cancellations oh they would do it all the time yeah the fact that you got to go in is it's i mean it's brilliant yeah it is brilliant it's like i kind of respect them for it how well it works you just got to go in and be like i want to just go in and you should go do it now and tell us what happens okay i'll go and get this motivation and you have to do it at the exact one that you so i have to drive to madison tennessee to that i'll do it i'll do it this week i love that you're canceling on january 4th yeah yeah you're the like are you coming to sign up this is a good time to cancel yeah because because everybody they, they don't even need you right now.

There's so many people signing up. They'd be happy to lose you. But you're going to be standing in line with people signing up. You're going to get up there. I want to cancel, please. This is the first day of the rest of my life. And then you're going to go up there, and this is also still the first day of the rest of my life,

of just the opposite of not having this. They're like, well, do you have your ID card? I'm like, like look this is as far as i've made it yeah so no i don't have you never just want to go once just immediately like i'm good could you work out alone past it could you do you know how to work out yeah i did in high school for football and stuff and i worked out a little bit first couple years of college i tried and then i was well you played football in college right yeah i played full pad intramural yeah so that kind of kept me in shape it's a little little loose saying that you played football in college right you went to notre dame everybody i mean everybody's like god he played at notre dame i played football at notre dame not for yeah that's what i like to say yeah y. My dad played full pad. In college?

My picture up there is where I'm under his leg. He's like hiking the ball to me. Oh, yeah. He went to Trevecca and they played full pad. And one thing I remember from that was, I mean, I'm five years old. And I would always go there and I'm wearing, watching my dad play, so I'm wearing all the football stuff, my little plastic football stuff. And I'd play on

the sideline and i remember this guy got hit in the face and he comes over his whole face was just covered in blood and i mean i remember just i'll never forget it i was five just like wow and he's just like i don't know it's just kind of wiping it off and i mean it's just pouring down his face and i remember i just staring at it traumatized yeah that was a 1487 we had a different calendar back then our parents did a different calendar for a little for the bargazzi calendar yeah though yeah we had a bargazzi counter for about two years and then uh our two you know whatever i don't know i was trying to take uh five sunsets i think uh we kept it we did it counted one year as a sunset.

I don't know. All right. We're running out of stuff. We're good? Yeah. One final update on a previous story. I meant to mention this last week. The Balloon Boy parents got a pardon from the Colorado's governor.

Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They were already out of jail, but now they're working records. Were they in jail? The dad had to go for a while, yeah. A while? Like maybe 30 days or something. Wow. Yeah. They were already out of jail, but now they're working records. Were they in jail? The dad had to go for a while, yeah. A while?

Like maybe 30 days or something. Wow. Yeah. And his records expunged, so he's no longer a felon. Imagine telling the other guys in jail, what are you in for? I put my son in a balloon. I told everybody. I told everybody I did.

I put my son in a balloon. Did you? No. My wife went living. Just mad about it. Yeah. I did. I told everyone, son of a balloon, did you? No. My wife wouldn't let me. Just mad about it. I tried. My dumb wife wouldn't let me do it. She's like, I get it, man.

What'd you do? I killed my wife. You're like, oh. That's you. You're like, oh. All right. Can I plug a show? No.

I. Yeah. A week from today, January 13th, do an Aaron Webber and Friends at Zany's in Nashville. All right. That could be a lot of fun. Zany's. Yeah. Go to Zany's, everybody.

January 13th. Yeah. Get your tickets. Limited seating. So get your tickets while you can. Yeah. Because it's going to be, I bet it's already doing pretty good. I don't know.

Maybe not. I hope so. How's that mural doing? We got a new picture. And so I did a different picture. And so we sent it to them. And then so hopefully – we used a picture from a newest picture. Yeah.

So hopefully that will be up. I don't know. So we'll see. Go watch – I can't believe Go watch the guest book. I don't know why. The work, the mural, all the works. Go watch the guest book. About to come out on Hulu.

If you haven't seen it, it's a great show, Gregor. I'll see you. As always, thank you guys for listening. We truly appreciate it. Your comments are awesome, and we love reading them every time. Make sure you do all the stuff. What are you supposed to do? Do all the stuff you're supposed to do.

Yeah. And we can't thank you enough for listening. We'll talk to you next week. See you. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audio Boom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.