The Nateland Podcast - Welcome to the Road | The Be Funny Tour Podcast | EP 1

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Welcome to the Be Funny Tour podcast! This show is recorded while on the road with Nate Bargatze. He's on one of the biggest tours in comedy so why not podcast about it! This week Nic Novicki decides to go out in front of a sold out crowd in Sacramento and say he's a Boston fan......This episode was recorded on the Sacramento, Stateline and Anaheim stops of the be funny tour. The comedians on this run are Julian McCullough, Mike Vecchione, Nic Novick and Joe Zimmerman. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Follow all the openers: https://www.instagram.com/julianmccullough/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/comicmikev/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/joezimmerman/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/nicnovicki/?hl=en Get social with Nate Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/natebargatze/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/natebargatze Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natebargatze/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@natebargatze Email: [e-mail] #NatelandPodcast #NateBargatze #podcast #tour #comedy #entertainment #comedy #standup Produced by  @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker,

the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes. The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yes. With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends.

We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Wow. This is crazy. This is crazy Sacramento being in an NBA arena.

I'm a Celtic fan. This is crazy Sacramento being in an NBA arena. I'm a Celtic fan. I know, I know, I know, I know. A lot of you guys are looking like, well, why are you wearing that Kings? Well, I like free swag. Plus I look good in purple. No, I am also a fan of the Kings. It was hard not to be a fan in the 90s.

I mean you guys had Vaati Diva, Chris Webber, Jason Williams, White Chocolate! That's actually what I used to go by. I wasn't a basketball player, I was a lifeguard, but I wanted people to call me that. Big Kings fan, as of today. I know you're a Celtics fan, but it's not, you don't. I'm not hardcore. You're not a hardcore fan. I don't know.

A hardcore fan is the only person that will go up in the Kings arena and say I'm a Boston fan. They literally, Sacramento just lost to Boston in a heartbreaker. That night? I mean, not even that day. Minutes. In a playoff push. Before the show started.

Yeah, they're trying to make the playoff. And they lost by one. They came back, they were down 19. I'm trying to remember, did he get them on his side first with some good jokes? No. And say he was a Boston fan? When you watch Nick up there, just know, I'm trying to remember did he get them on his side first with some good jokes Just know whatever Nick's saying before he says Boston always thinking about his Boston So the words he's saying is just like, you know, that's just like the work he has here. It's like hey fine

Boston To get it out.'m a celtic fan uh as he wears all their stuff and then they booed it was fun it was it was a healthy it was a healthy bit it was a healthy it was close to 20 000 booze but it was it was uh it was fun though to go from that to and then we're back to doing fun then. Then you went into your... To doing all right. I'm joking. You did do great. So he did. He turned it around.

Yeah. And then he closed it. He goes, that's my time. Go Boston. And then he left. That would have been great. I do kind of want to do the Kings. It would be stupid to do it.

But there would be actually an equal amount of Kings fans here. Yeah. He's still wearing the Kings clothes But still wearing the he wants to say la key Yeah, so he wants to do it again tonight. I do because Just I don't know because you're mad at your dad That's not fair yeah, it's not fair yeah it's not fair to these people it's not fair to his dad guys nate's on stage for another 20 minutes yeah let's talk about whatever we want to talk about i'm gonna hold mike's hand okay i think that's nice

because mike mike this is your first weekend on the tour this year this is my first weekend and how'd you feel out there tonight it's in in the round. It's in the round. It's a little bit disorientating, to be honest. Yeah. Oh, you say it the British way. Disorientating. Disorientated. Yeah, disorientated.

No, disoriented. He separates them. Is American. I didn't realize you went to Oxford. I'm sorry, Julian, that I'm educated. Speaking of... It infuriates you. It does make me furious.

He's so disoriented that he said disorientated. Mike, if a guy that looks like you is smarter than a guy that looks like me, what is this world coming to? We both look dumb. Speaking of professors, Joe, what do you... Yeah, I mean, compared to all three of you, I look super smart. You do. Well, Joe is actually super smart.

We were stuck in the airport together, and Joe, like, a flight got canceled. Joe was already on, got us all booked on another flight faster than anybody I've ever seen. He had us checked in. He canceled the flight and had the points and had the flight rebooked. By the time we knew what was going on, it was crazy. Well, we thought he was smart and then found out that his day job, he works for the airline.

He's an industry plant. Is he taking a bag in the back? No, I had such a clever plan and I won Mike Becky on $275. Yeah. Oh, wow. In the travel bank.

Nice. How'd you do that? We'll talk about this after. That's going to be literally the most boring conversation of all time, how to get more points. What happened on the plane? Oh, so basically. I don't know if Joe wants us blowing up his personal life.

Can I just say, can I just say, my wife, Meg, met Joe and thinks he's very sweet, but also feels like... I think sexy was the word she used. She said...

Thank you. Sexy. Yeah. She said that his personality seems like the kind of guy who his therapist told him that he needs to say hi to five new people

today that's the right that's the and then yesterday on the plane he had a pretty good day you had a pretty good day so the first your first person was the flight attendant on uh united tell us a little bit about how that happened yeah i i had that in my head that i needed to say hi to five people a day based on what your girl wife imagined a therapist would say to me. Now I'm in on it. But the thing is, I'm sitting next to Joe, and I wasn't in on it. So Joe goes, oh, go ahead, Joe. I'm sorry.

Well, there was a woman that came. There was a stewardess that came to the front of the plane. We were front row, first class. Ooh, listen to that. That came out there. Bulkhead. Yeah, bulkhead. I don't know how to request non-bulkhead first class oh listen to that that came out there bulkhead uh yeah bulkhead i don't know how to request non-bulkhead first class yeah as soon as i figure that out as soon as i figure that we can't get we're gonna get back into it we got it yeah nobody wants flying well the pilot was talking

to her clearly he was trying to hit on her and he was like did you get hurt in the back and she was like well the seat belt came off and he was talking about all the turbulence and he was like did you get hurt in the back and she was like well the seatbelt came off and he was talking about all the turbulence and he was apologizing for all the turbulence because he flies the plane was that a power move yes he was definitely using a power move i was flying the plane i hope it wasn't too bumpy for you because i was flying it i hope it was bumpy enough as a power move that's why i can't be a pilot So then Charming Yeah Yeah So then she was just standing there And I'm like This is my chance Right

To chat To practice Sure Yeah Practice chat Because she can't move She can't move And

And I said Hey Did you get injured And she said This is on the heels of The same conversation Yeah That she just had with the pilot

I like that so she's saying they have the cart in front because the pilot is out going to the bathroom and 9-11 they have to put the cart in front

with a flight attendant standing there murderers murderers can't get over carts yeah murderers can't get over the Taliban cannot hurdle

the cart right so she and she's guarding the cart she's guarding the cart. She's guarding the cart. She's doing her job as a United States citizen. As a hero.

And Joe, you decide to? I said. Chatter up. I said, hey, are you injured? And she said. Are you injured? Are you injured? God, that's cool.

Oh, that's so funny. Are you injured? That's right. You did say that. And what did she say? And she said, what? Yeah, but then you said. And then I said, are you injured?

And then she said, I'm sorry. And then Mike said, Joe said, are you injured? You take it from here, Mike. I don't remember what she said. Yeah, I don't know if she had a thing on her. She goes, Mike. I don't know what she said. She had a thing on her. She goes, no. I just, it was bumped. And ever since that,

ever since that Air Alaska thing happened, I said, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Joe said, what was the Air Alaska thing? I said, I'm sorry. My friend doesn't read the news.

I kept her going. I kept her going. My friend doesn't read the news. Yes, it was. I didn't realize you do read the news, but it was your play. You were playing possum. I played poss news. Yes, I didn't realize. You do read the news, but it was your play. You were playing Possum.

I played Possum. God, Joe. Joe. You played Possum. Silky Joe. Silky Joe. I love that Smooth Joe says, hey, explain to me this air-based tragedy that just happened. While we're on a plane.

She had to go through it. And you know what? I felt like a little bit of a connection there. But I didn't do, I didn't feel like I did it enough. Because when the flirting between the two happens, it's nice. And there's a little bit sparks flying here and there. But, you know, somebody has to step up and make it awkward. And go, hey, you know, my friend Joe is handsome.

He smells great. He takes care of himself. He's got a suede jacket first class he's in first class he's in first class yeah and uh he's a bird watcher and don't make me go into it how debonair this guy is yeah so she rides on planes I'll watch birds there's some yeah you guys are both Yeah, you're both sky people you have sky interests. Yeah But I didn't do that and that's and I was waiting for she was working in the back of the plane and we were in The first class so we really in in my defense. We didn't see her again now Hold on. I do need to say that Joe has had Relations in the past and I'm curious

What how what is your move to make it to like the now it's I'm getting the phone number what is that move Joe is so smooth I don't think the girl even knows yeah she thinks she's signing up for a seminar yeah exactly it's like how do you have my number and then how are we on this date yeah and then how are we how are we dating yeah how are we dating for nine months but I like a good stump, stump them in a conversation. Like, what's your favorite color?

Whoa, I didn't know, you know, that, are you injured? Was a great, you know, you don't know what's coming.

How do you respond to that? Maybe I am, you know. But Nick, that's your technique. So aggressive that it startles them. Yeah. See, Joe is silky.

Silky. Silky. It's not my method. I've never asked anybody if they're injured. I don't know. But. I think the way you get into a relationship is you chat up. You just chat up.

You just keep chatting people up until one of them just kind of like falls into your lap on accident. But isn't there a thing, Joe? You mean like wear them down? No, I mean more just. How do they fall into? Isn't there a thing? Numbers. No, numbers No Numbers

Numbers But isn't there a thing Where you have to step up And go look Can I get your number Can we go out On a date Like this chatting

Has been nice Yeah I'd like to continue it At my place We gotta get this Winky stinky I probably move A little slower

I probably move A little too slow On that move But you need to connect You know otherwise Like in this situation, like the girl is going to go away if you don't close, if you don't make some way to connect to her. Right.

Well, I mean, that was too, so to me that was too forced of a situation to press for anything. That's more of a situation where if you run into her again 17 times, at some point, you're like, Hey, we keep seeing each other. Yeah.

Let's, let's maybe take this to an 18th time. Have you guys ever used, I know it's been a long time since a lot of us have been single. Sorry, Joe. But, uh,

have you ever used your act in a conversation? Like, have you ever been like, uh, you know, people say I sound like winnie the pooh no i have a guilty i have a very guilty conscious with that i will go over the top to be like if they ask me about a topic that i talk about in my act i'll go over the top of the bag well i do have

a bit about that topic and i'm not going to do the bit on you but but if but but if were, it would be like this. Yeah. But what about the Uber ride from the airport to the hotel? With Gina. Pick up another girl named Gina, which is a good omen, because the girl that you wanted to hit on was Gina. Oh, right. And this was another Gina. The flight attendant was Gina. Yeah, it was a two-Gina night.

And then the Uber driver was Gina. The Uber driver was Gina. And I had a really good one that I would like to recount now, where I was like uh thanks for the pickup Gina I know you gotta move fast because you got a lasagna in the oven and it really didn't hit with her no she didn't realize there were comics right that didn't help but a lasagna in the oven Gina a lasagna and then she said my brother calls me Jaina she she took it blue so listen to my uber I'm from from the airport I I'm in the we need another

uber story because it was Gina was I didn't know where this was going. We're supposed to be supportive of each other. We'll bring it back to Gina. We'll bring it back to Gina. Go ahead, side tangent. Side tangent. I took an Uber. It was hard to find. It better be better than our story. It was hard to find. It was hard to find an Uber.

I get in it. He asked me what I'm doing. I tell him I'm a comedian, you know, and he says, yeah, you know, I had a ride earlier, Nick Thune. And I was like, oh, wow, Nick Thune is here? And he goes, the comedian? He goes, no, you know, I had a ride earlier. Nick Thune. And I was like, oh, wow, Nick Thune is here? And he goes, the comedian? He goes, no, the pilot.

I picked him up earlier. I was like, why would you tell me the name of Nick Thune? First of all, you're revealing your customer, which I don't think you're supposed to do. Right. And then you randomly say Nick Thune. I was like, did he have a beard? Then I was like, did Nick Thune just say he's a pilot? Like, was that his thing? And he's like, no, he didn't have a beard.

Oh, so there's a Nick Dune out there that's actually contributing to society. The funny thing about this too is we were tracking a milkshake and a mishash. Julian went off the rails

our layover was about 20 minutes we were about 20 minutes into a six hour layover and i was like that's it i can't take it anymore i'm getting a milkshake and a massage i don't know what i'm gonna do for the next five hours and joe went to starbucks we all went to our um and then by the way went to a steakhouse i don't know how many people need to hear this but it for a future reference of anybody massage that milkshake way better. Yeah.

Way better. That that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You did the milkshake first.

The massage guy was so loaded. He's like he's pushing he's pushing on my back. I'm like oh buddy don't push. Yeah. The. Oh yeah. He's pushing on my back. I'm like, whoa, buddy. Don't push. And then you ended up back to security.

Oh, yeah. You had to go back. Well, I realized that I had... Oh, no, that was a different time. Is it fair to say you're a wanderer at times? Yeah, but all who wander are not lost. But I got lost. And I was... Yeah, I went to... i don't know where i was trying i was

trying to go to another terminal and then i went took the wrong the your the monorail thing the wrong direction and ended up back at uh the entry of the airport and i couldn't get back in without going back through security so i went through security twice but that's a good way to kill time too because that takes a long time it is um so i was a good way to kill time, too, because that takes a long time. It is. So I was finding fun ways to kill time at this layover. Julian has ADHD. He's the smartest guy, but he has ADHD, so he can't focus on anything for too long. No.

He gets distracted easily. That's why he constantly needs— I'm already doing another podcast right now in my head. So the whole time you guys were traveling, we were monitoring it. I'll save Nick's story right after he's done. We were playing blackjack for, you know, or gambling for six hours. And we kept seeing, oh, they delayed further. And now all these dating stories and Uber. Did you gamble on which flight we would be on?

We probably would have. I didn't know. No one knew, actually, anything about you guys my favorite subtle moment was that nobody heard this is great was at the end of the uber ride she kept asking what are you guys here for a year for a bachelor party and we evaded the question yeah no we never like answering yes are you guys here for work we've added the question and finally the uber was pulling up and she asked again and we were about to get out so I was just like Mike's a comedian we're with him after the lasagna line

yeah Mike's a comedian we're with him this week and she goes well have fun whatever it is y'all are doing she refused to believe Jaina Jaina refused to believe and I gave her a four star because of that instead of a five star.

All right. We should stop because I don't even know when he's going to. But I think we don't have something. No, I'm kidding. That was funny. We're going to wrap this podcast episode. We can hear Nate closing out. Yeah.

So we should probably go back out there. He's going to say, I want to bring everybody back up. And we're going to be here podcasting. Yeah. Be funny. All right. All right. So we're in Sacramento where the Kings play basketball.

I think it's called the Golden One arena which is does not roll off the tongue so much uh but nate is on stage right now i just brought him on stage he's got an hour to go uh how did you guys feel like your sets went tonight in this uh in this arena joe how did yours go um i'll i went first tonight um and it was over 16,000 people. It was very large, and the in-the-round sets have been going very well. But within the first – it went well. It went well, but in the first minute, I said something about – No, hold on.

I love you. I want to make sure everybody understands that it went well. It did go well. It did go well. Despite what he's about to say. It did go well. It did go well. Despite what he's about to say. It did go well. It did go well. All right, Joe, what happened?

Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes.

The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Search for us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. So I don't know if you've ever had 16,000 people boo you all at once

Nick did He goes up and he goes, I'm a Celtics fan Hey, hey, hey Don't get ahead By the way, don't ask questions that are going to get ahead of you because we'll get to Nick in a second All of a sudden it's coming across like this is just

the worst show what did you say exactly how did you get booed so far i don't remember what'd you say no i was i'm joking um within the first minute though i have a newish joke about how i read a lot of self-help books and i read one that said uh what you need to do is you need to look in a mirror and say i love myself and a lady goes i love myself i love myself and i was like wow i didn't hear that and it was like so early in the set in front of 16 000 people that i was just like okay um uh yeah no more yelling out he did turn into a teacher. I'll just continue with

this joke because I don't want to do crowd work in front of 16,000 people this early on in a set. We're different comics. I would have handled it differently. That is hilarious to yell that out. That's the craziest heckle I think I've ever heard. I wish I had been more ready.

I don't think people understand it's the first thing you said, so there's no momentum. That's why it's difficult. They don't trust that you're funny yet because you've just gotten through a setup. You can't just attack a lady. They were rowdy, though.

They were definitely random things. All I've done is a setup in front of 16,000 people. I love myself. I'm like, well, I haven't earned the of 16,000 people. I love myself. I love myself. And I'm like, well, I haven't earned the other 16,000 people's trust yet to really go into this.

I do need to get 16,000 people to love me also first. Well, $15.99. $15,999. That's funny. And that was following... I'm sorry, i didn't know joe had more uh so anyway this is longer than your actual set by basically i just i was like okay i moved on and then i was just like i tried to do my best material and it went it went well

but uh but i but i wish i had been more fun with that lady that is very early it takes uh quite a bit of, you got to think of something quick when it's that soon, because you really are, that now becomes your first joke, how you handle that. And if you miss,

it's like, not only did I miss, I missed attacking one of you. And you're attacking a self-help. So if it goes wrong, this is somebody who also needs help. Also, she didn't attack you, she just yelled, I love myself, which is. Yeah.

But she was making it about her. We all know that people do that. Like, it's like she's making it about her in the first 15 seconds of your set, which is not cool. A perfect comeback for me would have been, okay, maybe love yourself a little less. Yeah. Or quietly. Yeah. Quietly.

Anyway, let's move on from me. My set was terrific. It was hard for Mike to follow. Okay, Mike, go ahead. It was. And, you know, Julian had an interaction with a guy beforehand, and I was, like, sitting. First of all, Julian did 15 minutes on a shirt.

Yeah. Which I thought was great. It's, like, glitter. And then they were, like, rolling in the aisles, like, oh, my God, it's a glitter shirt. Yeah. Which I thought was great. It's like, it's a glitter, and then they were like rolling in the aisles like, oh my God, it's a glitter shirt. It is.

They could, I mean, but you know, it's a, Julian was killing with off the cuff material. I only did 15, all right?

So I think I showed some restraint. There's a lot of rhinestones on there. It is. So, and then, so I'm just, it's weird because it's a long walk to the stage.

So I went to the stage early, and then I just was there. Then there's people just watching me stand by the stage. You went back and forth and scored off him and crushed. Joe, that means somebody heckled and I handled it well. Okay, go ahead. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. So then I'm just pacing back and forth, and the people are looking at me like I'm a psycho.

And then I squat down for some reason. Mike, no one thought you were a psycho. You are the most sensitive dude in the world. That place is enormous. That just hurt my feelings. You're 5'9". That just hurt my feelings. Tops.

5'9", tops. No one was staring at you like,'9". That just hurt my feelings. Tops. 5'9". Tops. No one was staring at you like, who is this psychopath? No one was looking at you. Look at this shirt. They were looking at the shirt, Mike. Look at this. Well, then you called me up, and then I went, and I had to focus on staying in a certain part.

I'm not used to, this is my first leg of the tour in the round. So I had to focus on staying inside the tape and in the light and all that stuff. So, and watching the clock. So, but the set went very well. The crowd was very responsive and the jokes, you know, I think it helps to slow down a little bit because the jokes hit and then there's a little bit

of a delay and then you feel it come back and in the club it's like just an immediate response so the timing is a little bit different yeah if you wait they'll give you an extra one almost almost every joke yeah and uh you know if i had to do an hour i would be going so slow yeah you know what i mean but also i feel like if you go really fast too it's like it's there's no time for them to to feel what you're doing right right right beyond that yeah just like i feel like there are times when i have gone really fast and you're just like then you're like oh wait a minute and then you just it's a weird rhythm for them it is funny to go fast and

be like i said everything i had to say good night no but it definitely pays to go fast and be like, I said everything I had to say. Good night. No, but it definitely pays to slow down. It's so hard to remember. And also, it's like we all have to remember also. It's like we're trying to get the – it's like, especially for me, it's like sit and laugh a little bit. I know. It's so hard. Like just sit in it and relax a little bit.

They're going to be there for the next one. It's so hard to enjoy it. It's crazy. Nick, you opened with a doozy. You brought it on yourself. I brought this on myself. First of all, I love that you have to set up like, we're in Sacramento.

We're the Kingsway. I'm wearing a purple Kings. Everyone's wearing insane swag. Kings merch. Yes. Kings merch. So I had a joke that I was going to do about white chocolate, and I'm just talking to the lady with the swag stuff.

But in reality, I am a Celtics fan. So I opened up being like, it's crazy to be here. I'm a Celtics fan. The booing. I decided to get a boo. The Celtics beat them tonight, too. Oh, really? Yeah.

So I decided to do it it and then I was like I thought that was a dumb thing to say when I didn't know that yeah yeah it was a dumb thing to say but also I kind of I I knew that I was gonna get the boot yeah yeah I was like I I know what I want to do next as I liked them at that time and you know in reality I probably stepped on if I had just gone something about Kings the white chocolate thing would have hit harder yeah but it's still kind of, I liked it was strategic. I wanted

them to do that and then lead into the next thing. I wish you would have gone complete heel and be like, I'm a Celtics fan and then just let them boo you and they go, shut up! You shut your mouths! You shut your mouths! Celtics are the best team in the country this year. So when I was in, when we were in Boston, I said I was from Philly right away.

Oh, yeah. And, I mean, the booing, that was nothing. Obviously the booing in Boston for Philly is, like, insane. And then I go, I said, I knew you guys were going to do that, but can you chill out a little bit? I have my 10-year-old daughters here, and they booed louder. They booed Goldie. And I thought that that was that made me respect the city a lot it really did what did they what was their reaction to the the boston racism joke i reworded it a little bit

where i said uh people say uh i do the philly thing being the rudest and then i say um and i always defend you guys i go boston's not the rudest city in the country you're thinking of racism that's right I so I so I do it's like a flip like that they loved it I mean it was it was fine and mostly I crap on Philly so they love that but I think even when you do that always so if you could do something that's like you you can win them back in yeah by getting that reaction like a like a boo oh yeah yeah it's like a way to just as long as you have something that go dig a hole and you have a way out already like you know like but they were fun in the 90s you know who used to dig holes to just to see if he could

get out of them that were so deep it was like as a comic you're like i don't know if he's gonna make it was patrice patrice used to dig a hole that would take seven minutes. He would dig a hole with no laughs for seven full minutes. Because he would say a statement that everybody would disagree with and then he would argue it.

Oh, that's it. Now I'm really going. I watched him the best. There was a bringer show at Stand Up New York and this guy went up and did 20 minutes and he'd been doing comedy

for four months or something. He's an went up and did 20 minutes and he'd been doing comedy for you know four months or something he's an author he did 20 minutes he did yeah he's like an author it wasn't comedy and he gets up there he goes that was the worst trash I've ever seen this guy should yeah yeah he just starts like but everybody in the audience was like their family friends and he just trashes him like and then everybody's like and then he decides he just goes right into material and you just hate him yeah that's he's unreal but when you're you know when you're that good and you get bored you're like let's see how much i can make these people hate me before i bring them back and sometimes he never did

but that's no it's great it's great if you would have said the thing about I'm a Boston fan and then let the boo die out and then go, and that's why you guys can't satisfy your wives. What? I am white chocolate. You know what you could have said? That's my name. Also, you could have said, I brought up the Sacramento Kings when we were in Boston,

and they didn't know who I was talking about. That's good. But that is the funny thing. They'd never heard of you. They don't really have a rival. Is there a dynasty? Who, the Lakers? I don't know.

I have no idea. Well, they're about an hour from Golden State, so they try to go hard against Golden State. But Sacramento's only been good for a year and a half at basketball, so they don't yet have a rivalry. But I'll say that crowd had the energy of a blue-collar, and I mean that as a compliment, a blue-collar, second-market town that's like, they are always the best crowds. They were awesome. And they had that energy. And that was a great Bakersfield reference.

Oh, yeah. It was really a good one. The whole time I'm up there. So it's so funny because when you're in a show that big, I wonder what people think is going through your head because you think, oh, you're never more present than when you're in a situation like that. And I swear to God, I brought up that Bakersfield thing.

And for the next four minutes that I was up there, I was talking, I was riffing, and all I was doing was trying to remember my Bakersfield joke. I had a Bakersfield joke that used to kill, I still can't remember it. And I was just so mad up there. They think I'm having a great time,

they think the show's going great, and in my head I'm just like furious That I can't remember this joke But no you probably Was your brain going crazy Like how can I work Bakersfield into this And you did it off the Florida thing Yeah

Yeah yeah yeah You said Florida No no I brought up Bakersfield Because the idea was They booed Florida Yeah And I'm like you're not better

Yeah You know you have Bakersfield So that's all That was all that was But I also have a bit about Bakersfield, and I just couldn't remember it. But if I could have done it then, they would have carried me out of there. You know what I mean? The rival city.

Yeah. Guys, can we switch gears and talk about the workout today? Oh, well, I didn't. But, yeah, you guys can. Thank you. I gave it about a 12% today. I didn't work out at all. I signed a waiver and I went in the parking lot.

You spent the whole time looking for a bathroom. I did. I went in looking for a bathroom. I was like, here's a shower. Here's another shower. I'm going to take a call outside. I didn't see Nick for 20 minutes and then he came in. Is there a bathroom? don't know he filled out his emergency contact information he's like what's this for he's not doing anything strenuous at all when mike works out he looks like he's trying to

um work out so he doesn't kill somebody that's what it looks like dan soda used to i used to have a bag to go to the gym. He goes, what's in the bag? A picture of your enemy? Dan Soder. Yeah, you do. Same joke, same joke. He looks like he's, you do, you do look like you're taking out a lot of, getting out some anger.

Yeah. And Joe. All the anger comes out too when you hit those little bars. You do that jump and you get it. Yeah. How about how competitive and you get it. Yeah. How about how competitive Nate is? Oh, yeah. Nate is like, first of all, on the phone and then gets off the phone and starts working out.

And then, you know, I'm going back and forth doing what Eric is telling me to do. Eric the trainer slash barber. Slash nutritional. You got to let it know. Slash nutritional. and uh you gotta let it know and um and and nate just i'm going between things and he goes can you jump and get those rings like because you can you can so you want to see if i can and you want to you you're that he's that competitive i love it it. We got to play basketball today, too, in the King's training facility. Yeah, that was wild.

We did it two a day. Nicest practice court I've ever seen, or like nicest basketball court I've ever been on. There's two courts, so there could have been like a tournament. Yeah. I didn't get that. The rooftop, I didn't go up. You could get to the top of it. We walked up two flights, which I wasn't a fan of. Then I see this ladder and I was like, okay,

the chances of getting down for me are not the best. But what about the people who were there? Yeah, what about it? How was it up there? How was it? Should we be allowed to hear about it then, Nick? I'd like to hear about it.

No, I want to hear what it's like from the person that was down below the roof wondering what was happening on the roof. By the way, I was pacing around like a cat in the bottom. I want to get up there. Then Eric comes down and he goes, look, even if you do get up here, it's a five-foot railing. So you're not going to be able to see showing me a photo of it. So I was like, even if I hurt myself trying to get up there, I still can't see. That's great.

Yeah. Yeah. Joe, what? It was beautiful. What a night. It was incredible. I mean, I could barely see. Joe, by the way, speaking of the workout, Joe is sneaky athletic.

Yes, he is. Joe looks like he can read really fast, but it turns out he's also a menace on an exercise. He is sneaky in everything. Not just sports. Joe's a winner. He's unbelievable. He can play cards. He wins at poker. He's an unbelievable poker player. He knows

how to shuffle. I will say this though. Clumsy. A bit clumsy. He's a high IQ klutz. A lot of people compare me to Luka Doncic. Doncic? Is that a Russian author? It's pronounced Dusty-esque.

He's related to somebody that played on the Kings in the 90s. Joe is a low-key champion. Keeps it low-key. By the way, if you've been watching the podcast this whole time and you're waiting for Nate, he has 40 minutes left. So just stick around and he'll be here. We've got a lot of time to fill here. He's going to come in and sanction it.

He's just going to come in and go, I approve this. And then he's going to walk away. It'd be great if he came in and said, no, this is all wrong. So where on your on your list yeah i was a division one college athlete that's probably why yes wow probably why all the oh what sport was that joe it was a a high it was a men's sport okay division one men's division one what he won he was a golfer it was the. It was the sport you would guess. Yeah. A lot of walking.

The one with the most walking. It's dinner time. All right. It's time to eat. It's a tough life we have. We have a catered dinner with an award-winning chef. I interrupted you. So we have to leave. Continue, Julian.

So real quick, thank you for joining us in whatever locker room we are uh every time on this podcast but i want to say so on a scale of all the cities to say there's 50 cities what's sacramento rate for you joe in terms of that crowd um from 1 to 50 1 being the best city ever 50 being wherever you're from. Yeah. For me, solid 24. Solid 24 for me. How do you like that, Sacramento? Nick? I'm going to say it's a top 10. Top 10?

Wow. Recency bias. You would say that everywhere you were at. Everywhere he was at, he would say top 10. He's trying to get booked at the Sacramento Punchline. Recency bias. I don't hate because Nick is pandering. Hey, I'm not going to pander during the show.

I'm a Celtic fan of real life. I want to let him know. I want to pander here with the three of us. The people watching are around the country. It's number one for me because this is my first weekend of the year in the round. So it's number one. This is the only one you know. He's top of the year in the round. So it's number one. This is the only one you know. It's the only one I know.

He's talking from the heart, Julian. It counts. It counts. Number one. I like it. All right. Let's go eat. Wait, you didn't rank it, Julian.

Yeah, what is the year? What do you think? Huh? Oh, 76. Philadelphia reference. This is Rugged Coffee Bros. Cool, man. We're just going to be looking for churro flavor in every city now.

This is not churro. That's the one Chase had. It's not churro. It's not true. Sorry, am I interrupting content? Yeah. Thanks for hanging out with the group. I lost you guys on the scooters.

Yeah. Mike doesn't ride scooters. We're all past his age. Your insurance policy has a clause, right? I have a scooter, but it's a different kind of scooter. It's got a basket. There was a 1994 wrestling injury that we have. You know I'm sensitive about that, Nick.

If you can call the chair that goes up the stairs a scooter, yeah, you got one. I bowled with a little pushcart last night dude. Mike and Nick walk in every radio, they go, what's your elevator situation like? I do. I know exactly where they are. I'll tell you, there's one over here. And I'll tell you if it's a violation.

You know the whole perimeter. I know the whole perimeter. Yeah. I also know there's one over here. And I'll tell you if it's a violation. You know the whole perimeter. I know the whole perimeter. Yeah. I also know there's no bike locks. So they, I was here two weeks ago. I was looking for a bike lock. They kept going, it's right on the other side. I went completely around. There is no bike lock here. She was like, you know, she's in swim lessons. She's two. So she's like scared by everything and you know I'm pacing around on the side like Mike in a wrestling tournament making sure you know what I mean I'm trying to include you you get quiet It's not my story I'm not shy I know how to do this it's not my story it's your story

about how you almost wanted to drown your daughter Who invented wrestling? You almost drowned your daughter go ahead My daughter's alive Everything's good Mike was a division 2 wrestler almost division 1 He didn't make it

If he was 4 inches taller No you had it wrong Typical news Nick Novicki news spin I was a division 1 wrestler and didn't make it

Thank you Alright Will we just end on the sad moment? Yeah But he loves wrestling. Who's the number one wrestler in the world? Alright, anyways. We'll see about that.

Oh my god. You're a great one. I had to say that, baby. I hope you fall off your scooter. Oh, man. I'm not riding a scooter for that reason. I'm a bike man. You're a bike man now?

I'm a bike man. Yeah. I'm glad there's no locks in Anaheim. There definitely isn't. There's definitely no locks. Do you guys ever look at the empty seats and, I don't know, it freaks me out that there's just going to be that many people. Well, I'm comfortable because this is how I draw. We're doing the 3 p.m. show.

I'm comfortable in a daytime show, actually. A lot of people don't like the daytimes. I like daytime shows. Is it a 3 p.m. today? No, but I'm saying in general, it's like... I hope not. You scared me. This is crazy, though. When you sit with the lights on, it's a little bit more intimidating. Like, my vision is so bad that usually I can't even tell the difference until you actually are there, and then you're just in the moment and, you know,

on stage. Because when the lights lights are out you can see the people but mostly just here but when you're with the lights on it's insane looking around and how many people

will be here do you like the lights off or on? I like them off truth be told you like them on? yeah you always have liked

a room really light I like a dark room because I like to see I'm just used to the club so it's used to connecting to people. Yeah, I like... You're not connecting to people in a dark room. You can't see them. You're just doing your jokes into the darkness, right?

Yeah, but I can't see more than a couple rows either way. You're blind anyway. In a club or this, I'm just basically like... You know, it doesn't matter. The vision side doesn't change for me. And now coming to the stage, a man who badly needs to see a doctor. I'll be surprised if he can make it up here. Give it up.

Seeing eye dog included. It is not for his act. It's so he can make it to the stage. Give it up for the Polish rifle. Nick Novicki. Woo! Cabasa. Cabasa.

Oh, yeah. That was the only time Paul... Here we are. We're at the Hunt Center. Because of editing, this just never ends. It's like, you're still on. Mike, what do you think about the seats? Do you like them with the light or the dark again?

No, I like them padded. Now, can you do this again with a little bit more energy? A little bit of smile. Give it a little pepper and a little bit of Mike Vecchione in a varsity wrestling match. All right, let's go. On the count of three. Mean mug them.

Yeah. Wrestling. I have to pee every 30 seconds. Don't cut that. You cut that and cut what I just said. You understand? I'll have you in court. Martin Short goes, the only time I don't have to pee is while I'm peeing. That's a great one. But you're 30 seconds, that was funny. 30 seconds to Mars.

What? You're just appealing to the young people that are 40? You know what I'm doing to Robin Williams where I just say something and then rip off? 30 seconds to Mars! 30 seconds? 30 seconds to pee? 30 seconds to Mars! You know what I'm talking about! Whacky!

Woo! All right! It's the same words! We're just moving on. Can I do a confessional? Yes. Can I cut Julian out of the shot? Of course.

Julian... Okay, we've been friends for a long time Julian and I have been friends for a long time and I love his style his talent his quick brain he's unbelievably emotionally available He's a fantastic person, okay? Known him for years. We lost him to LA for a while. I was afraid he was gonna come back with an earring, maybe a nose ring, and try to explain it in some kind of neo-political way that they do, like in the trendy coffee shops.

But he didn't do that, and I was like, our boy is back. He's home anyway we're on the road and are you shooting me still are you shooting is it the are you shooting b-roll while I'm on sorry I don't know what your technique is I don't know what your process is and I'm not trying to judge it but if this doesn't come out perfect I'm slapping you I'm gonna open it I'm gonna open hand slap you I hope that's okay. I bought you a coffee.

That was a great coffee, thank you. Now, Julian, um, I get a text. Like, we're on the road. We're flying back. Okay, great shows. Julian's an amazing talent. I always thought so. And I'm in the bed, um, scrolling, doing my boxing videos that I watch, and the guys are speaking in Russian. My phone starts going off. 4 a.m. 4 a.m. My phone starts going off. I look at it. It's a text from Julian, and not a group text where we all get to chime in.

It's just one-on-one, Julian to me. And he's like, hey Mike, will you wake me up in the morning? I forgot my charger. And I think to myself, at first I get pissed. I'm like, this guy, who does he think he's dealing with? Then I go, that is so Julian. I remember who you, you know how sometimes you get in a whirlwind when somebody sends you a text, and then you go, oh wait, who am I dealing with?

This is so Julian. This is so Julian right now. So I give him a little, I want him to sweat it out. So I wait about seven to ten minutes, and then I text back, because it needs to be on my terms. I go, look, I'll knock when I wake up. I'll knock on your door when I wake up.

I forgot the body of the story that happens sometimes. Where I'm telling a story and I'll just forget the main idea of the story. Because I'm off on a detail so much. Julian, how's your battery? Is your battery okay? Oh, 11%. 11%. That's how much I give during my headlining shows. Okay, so, um, he texts me.

Look, I forgot my charger. Classic Julian. And my phone is dead. I have no way to wake up in the morning. I might sleep. So can you wake me up at 10? Can you knock on my door at 10? He gives me the room number, which I don't want to give out.

So, um, even though we're not at the hotel anymore I don't want people going in and sniffing Julian's sheets his fan his fan base does that their sheets never look at me Sheet sniffer's anyway, uh He text me. Can you knock on my door to wake me up? I forgot my charger and I text back. Hey, hey buddy because I'm a boundaries guy when I wake up then I'll knock on your door so he doesn't reply and I'm like that's a bit odd and so I wake up naturally at maybe 10.30 and I go to Julian's room.

I almost locked myself out of my own room. And I go to this room and I knock. I knock a couple times and he's yelling to me like the rooms are not suites. They're small. He seems to be yelling at me from across the room. And I'm like, can you let me can we see can we have an interface like friendship and he's like yeah I got it I got it yeah I'm up I got it I got it and I'm like Julian I don't I don't think you understand how friendship works it's like open the door eye eye contact, face-to-face

conversation. You don't just yell at me through a door after you ask me a favor. I mean, maybe that's how they do it in LA. Maybe that's called networking in LA, but in New York, that's not how we do it. It's a face-to-face. So, um, Julian just goes, I'll see you down there. I'll see you down there. I said, no, Julian, I foundries. I go, I'll see you down there, I'll see you down there. I said, no, Julian, I foundries. I go, I'll see you down there. I'll see you down there. I say that to him. And he goes, okay, okay. He felt where I was going, you know, first responder energy. I go back to my room and then I do my aggressive breathing. It's 20 minutes. No one buys into it. I try to tell everybody it's a form of meditation, but it combines breathing with meditation,

and I swear by it. And I took a cold shower, because I was heated from the interaction with Julian, of being disrespected. But then I thought, this is classic Julian. It's not disrespected. It's just classic Julian. And then we met in the lobby, hugged, and I held the hug longer than it should have been held. And we jumped into an Uber, a tight Uber, and I did that on purpose. I didn't want room. I didn't want space. I wanted to sit next to Julian. I wanted to sit next to Julian.

You know, you have to repair the bond sometimes. You have to repair the bond. And then we made it to the airport. And I even said to him, to show there was no hard feelings, Julian, you want a coffee? And I think he was still hurt. So he's like, no, no, I don't need a coffee from you. And I was like, Julian, a coffee? And he was like, no.

And here we are. So that's stories from the Lord everybody thinks we get along and we're great and we're friends but there is conflict on the Nate land if if like you know if Nate land was a country I would be New York Julian would be LA oh my god and we have to have to bridge the gap you between lattes and networking and going out and hanging out. You live in LA for 10 years, all of a sudden you're LA. It's not fair, alright? I never felt like I belonged there.

I prefer your face-to-face, you know, awkward, intense closeness. I prefer that. Why wouldn't you answer the door? Just answer the door. You asked me to knock on the door and then you didn't answer. To be fair to myself, I forgot I asked you to do that and I thought you were housekeeping. And I said, no, thank you. And then you got offended. You forgot that I asked you. You forgot that you texted. How many other guys?

How many other men are you texting it for? You knocked at 1030. I'm not used to it. Every morning knock I've ever gotten a hotel is housekeeping so i hear the knock my my uh fight or flight goes it's housekeeping i yell no thank you and then you're like oh you asked me to do this i'm like oh god it's mike you know but then i'm a pizza guy now i'm a pizza delivery guy don't want none don't know my extra pepperoni here i do think it's funny that i asked you to wake me up in the morning and then you knocked and I was like, no thank you. But I did, I appreciate it and I woke up and when you woke me up, I immediately,

I rolled over and I turned on a movie and I fell back asleep, so thank you. You fell back asleep after I woke you up? Yeah, a little bit I did. I thought you were like on the phone or it felt like you were doing something else. It sounded like I was Panicking, but it's okay. Thank you

Things going on in here With a network, yeah, I got a buddy a money counter going No, I was uh You woke me from a dead sleep and I panicked and I said go away, please After you were doing me a favor. But yeah, I recommend if you do have your friend wake you up, don't have someone as intense as this guy. You want to get your more like... Look at this haircut. I do the job.

I do the job. It was funny. I was shocked. You were like, you're not going to let me in? I'm like, for what? I'm awake. But now I get it. Because you're... you got feelings.

Yeah. Yeah. Feelings. And I forgot about that because it was early. I thought you were already, you were like, I'm up. I'm already up. That's my trick. Yeah.

From years of alcoholism to go from a dead sleep to be like, I'm dead awake. I'm already. So things are not always peaceful. I want to just stress the narrative here. Things are not always peaceful on the road with Nate Land. Oh, you guys get along. You guys are... Yes, we are friends, and there's a deeper bond,

which is how we're able to weather these conflicts. This is a conflict. I think people need to understand something. When I saw Julian in the morning in the lobby, I didn't know how it was going to go. I didn't know how it was going to go. Is this going to be a problem? Are we squaring up?

Julian's a natural athlete, baseball player. He could have went pro. It's true. I don't know what I'm dealing with here. I don't know if I'm going to get my head taken off. I got to be in a defense. I had my hands up. I was like, what's up, Julian?

What's up? How you doing? Just in case he decided to come over with a hook or something, and I wasn't expecting it. Then a man's down in the lobby and we have to call Abigail or somebody, not Nate himself, but somebody from the Nateland team. Nate doesn't want to hear about this. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Mike says the Nateland tour is not peaceful. It's actually really peaceful. Mike is a little tense. I didn't say it wasn't peaceful. It's actually really peaceful. Mike is... It's a little tense. I didn't say it wasn't peaceful. I said that there's conflict and there's undertones of conflict within the Nate Land family. I'm saying it's within Mike.

No, it's not within... It's all within Mike. What we're doing is... I understand the Nate Land brand. Do you understand branding? No. Branding is when you portray yourself. And Nate Land... The Nate Land brand. Do you understand branding? No. What is it? Okay, branding is when you portray yourself. And Nate Land, the Nate Land brand is peaceful. But the people who are watching this, they're like, we've had enough peace. What's the dirt?

And I'm giving it to them. Okay. And I'm giving it to them right in the throat. I got you. Yeah. The Mike brand is someone's always coming. So get in a stance. Yeah.

And get ready because the world wants to beat you to the ground, and it's up to you to have boundaries. Right, boundaries. And then make people feel bad about not being a better friend. And that's a good brand. I think it's very likable. People like being around it. Yeah. I don't know if that's my brand.

I think my brand is, too. Can I cut you off there? I don't think I understand brand. I don't think I understand what a brand is. I don't think you understand a brand brand. I think my brand is too. Can I cut you off there? I don't think I understand brand. I don't think I understand what a brand is. I don't think you understand a brand either. It's like, uh. Was I describing a vibe?

A vibe. Is a vibe different than a brand? Yeah, a brand. Guys, my camera's on 2%, so. Oh, his camera's gonna die. Can you wake him up later and let him know he's got a charge? So if you guys wanna wrap up the weekend here.

Okay. That was a perfect wrap up.. Your camera's going to die. Julian's phone died. It's like, are you guys responsible at all for anything? It was a great weekend because Nate books a nice balance of acts. The crowd had a great time. Nate's hour is amazing right now. So he's great.

He's all set. The drama's with the openers. So I feel like I get up there. I'm the host. We are. But I get up there. I'm all set. The drama's with the openers. Yeah. So I feel like, you know, I get up there. I'm the host. We are. But I get up there. I'm the host. I'm fun.

I'm like, hey, we're having a good time. Then we bring Mike up to remind him that the world's not a safe place. You know what I mean? And you better laugh at it because people are out to get you. And then we have Nick Novicki come out. And he's like, you know, his happy horse shit. Yeah. And then we bring out Joe Zimmerman, who...

You have to tell him there's a stage. He'll wander past it. Is that a hawk? He brings his own leather-bound chair to sit in, and then he smokes a pipe and does his act. No, it's a great, you know, one of these, before Nate gets up there. It goes like this with the openers.

It was a great weekend. We did Sacramento, we did Anaheim, and we did Tahoe. And I'm telling you, the vibe on stage, it's very cool. It starts, it's like this, then it goes like this, then it goes like this, and then Nate gets on stage and then it's good. Yes. And in between that, we played Pickleball,

which is a sport for somebody over 70. No, I love it, I love it, I'm not complaining about it. Pickleball. It makes you feel young. Pickleball. Yeah. Pickleball. I'm a Celtic fan. I'm a Celtic fan.

Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching.

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