The Nateland Podcast - Year in Review: 2022
Episode Date: December 28, 2022A look back at the Nateland Podcast in 2022. Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.c...om https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I think most people when we wear a toboggan inside it's kind of like more up it's more of a hat and
yours is as if you're going to jump in snow this is my game wear. This is what you wear at the game.
This hat, yeah.
Yeah.
So the toboggan is pulled down.
I can't even hear you guys.
I know.
Kevin McAllister, 85.
I saw the Instagram story about the toboggan before I got the chance to catch up on this podcast.
And now that I'm hearing you guys talk about it, I can't keep it together.
As a Canadian, I have never heard of a toque.ke t-o-q-e i think it's toke
a toke called toboggan in my life watching people say toboggan so naturally in conversation was a
trip and had me laughing so hard thank you for the completely random moment my made my day
yeah a few things have polarized uh the listeners as much as this discussion. I don't think anything has. I think it's...
We got pretty heated.
Let's go versus hello.
Hello, folks.
Yeah.
That was the last thing that people have strong opinions about.
Maybe that was just fun.
Mm-hmm.
This one's kind of fun.
I know, but I'm saying, is this one getting more serious?
This one got pretty serious.
As serious as a discussion about what to call a hat can be.
Yeah.
I've never heard of toke.
I hadn't either.
Discussion about what to call a hat can be.
I've never heard of toke.
I hadn't either.
I only have heard of toke through Dusty Slay's wife, Hannah, who's Canadian.
I heard her call it that once.
But who's calling it that in real life?
You didn't say anything?
No, I let it slide.
Yeah.
I used context clues.
I figured out what she was talking about. Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, generally speaking, it seemed like people in the South call it toboggan.
People in Canada call it toque.
And the rest of the U.S. calls it a beanie.
Yeah.
But people have sent me articles saying there's different variations.
Everything's technically a beanie.
Yeah.
And then a toboggan is a type of beanie.
And there's a lot of different things.
Knit cap, sock cap, stocking cap.
Yeah.
Stocking cap.
But the poll we did, Beanie dominated because I think most of the-
That's what everybody does.
Everybody calls it Beanie.
I like that there's a lot of toboggans.
Yeah.
That does make me feel good.
Yeah.
But people in Canada were pretty fired up about us calling it toboggan.
So if you're listening, it's 437 votes for Toboggan,
1,844 votes for
Beanie, and then Toke came in last
at 216 votes.
I probably read those wrong.
For people listening
at home, if you're in suspense, you just
did the middle first,
and then
you went first place in the middle,
and then just, who cares cares 216 at the bottom
i mean like if i mean it's the abc that's what the big arm got coming in third place we have
tope 216 toboggan 437 beanie 1840 yeah that would have been the way to do it for sure you read it
maybe the least exciting way you could read it. Honestly.
I don't know if you could pick a worse way.
Because even if you, yeah, there couldn't be.
That's the only way that's not good is to go 437, 1844 a second,
and 216 a period.
There's.
I mean
alright
well
alright
and I didn't even think
anything about it
when you said it last week
because that's what I call it
toboggan
I call it a beanie
but I hear toboggan enough
that I don't even
think about it
who started the poll
did you
yeah
I mean people were so
fired up about it
that I did the poll
and I really got people
fired up
yeah
I love the the different regional really got people fired up. Yeah.
I love the read the,
the different regional terms.
They're really funny to me.
I had a buddy in college from Wisconsin and he,
one day he was like,
I got to fill up my water bottle at the bubbler real quick.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
That's crazy.
Yeah.
The water fountain.
Bubbler.
It was a bubbler.
I'd never heard of it.
And where's he from?
Uh,
Milwaukee.
Yeah. In Wisconsin. Yeah. I might've just been. Is that Milwaukee? Is that? fountain bubbler it's a bubbler i've never heard and where's he from uh milwaukee yeah in wisconsin
yeah i might just be that more walk is it uh the bubbler a bubbler yeah a very small little region
in that in that part of the country that calls it a bubbler most of the country calls it a drinking
fountain i've always called it i've always called it a water fountain i call it a water fountain yeah water fountain because that's what it is you know uh it's because it gives you well you drink out
of it though too not always if you're filling up a water bottle out of it you're going to drink
eventually you should be eventually a drinking that's fair eventually a drink yeah watering
your plants well i mean you're a nut if you take your plants up there and you're
staying in line with a pot.
Like that's what you would be.
There's a line of kids just waiting for the turns and you're like four back
and you got just a pot.
And then you just set it up there and just turn it on.
And it doesn't, you got to bend it over a little bit because the stream's not
high enough.
You get hit with some of those streams.
The little turn one was always good, but, man, you bend down
and you get hit right in the forehead.
Yeah, they don't have it calibrated right.
Yeah.
And if you don't know, and then some of them, like, no water comes out
and everybody's mouth's just on it.
It's coming out just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
And then you just, and kids will just, your mouth just goes on it. It's coming out just a little bit. Just a little bit. And then you just, and kids will just, your mouth just goes on it.
It is very funny to be like it will, when it just hits you right in the face.
Because you're not even prepared for it.
I just remember being in line at school, and it was just the prime chance to kick someone while they're doing it.
What?
I got kicked a lot.
I was going to say, there's no way you were doing it.
You were getting kicked while you were drinking?
No, think about it.
It was just me.
Yeah.
That's your most vulnerable position.
You never saw that?
That never happened?
Just boys like to kick each other?
I think we grew up in different times.
I don't think I was around.
I had water fountains.
We're just like.
I had segregated water fountains.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you're here for what I do for the aspect of it being clean
or the aspect of this not being heavy and not being whatever divisive
or political, like that kind of stuff,
that's the idea that I want to make with stuff.
You're someone that is just.
What?
I mean, you're a cow on the...
Like, just look at the butt in front of you and just walk, walk, walk, walk
until it's your turn to be slaughtered.
And then, you know, I'm a cow that sticks its head up and goes,
hey, I don't think we're going...
Yeah, yeah.
If we all turned and moved and went the other way, we would go out.
Hello, folks.
Welcome to the Nateland Podcast.
I'm Nate Bargetzi, Aaron Weber.
We solved that problem.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Yeah.
No, Brian's here. Brian's here and brian's here he's you know it's not bad that was awesome not bad. That was awesome. Not bad. Bates, Brian Bates here.
Yeah, I have to apologize because people,
I got in a lot of trouble by everybody that I was mean.
I didn't mean to go on a big cutting.
I mean, I did, I guess.
It's all coming out of, I was trying to be funny,
making fun of you
And it got
And people took it too real
Please do an episode
On the Pepsi Jet
Finally you were robbed
At the Grammys
You're easily one of the best
In the game
And deserve that win
Well thank you very much
For that
I'd say the Kid Nurse
1970
I agree Nate is one of the best
In the game
But to win a Grammy
You have to be the best in the game,
and the Grammys determine he is not.
Oh, wow.
Good night.
So much for that kindness you're showing Nate, Brian.
For all the – I'm going to – I'd like that clip pulled aside
for all the, Nate, you're too mean to Brian. And, you know.
Christina Barga.
I couldn't help but notice that when we have another penguin situation
on our hands, the way Nate and Brad Currams say bingles
sounds like it's spelled bingles, B-I-N-G-L-E-S.
I'd be curious to see what Aaron Lane lane has to say about this i'd be
i would bet he pronounces it how do you pronounce it bangles bangles that's how you say cincinnati
bangles yeah since i actually sided with him in the penguin pronunciation i find it funny to hear
pronounced bingles as if it rhymes with pringles i know this whole comment sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, so I apologize in advance for making Nate read this.
Yeah, Cincinnati Bengals.
Yeah, I've always said Bengals.
I said Bengals.
What did you say?
Bengals.
So you say it like the band, the Bengals.
I say it the way everybody I've ever met in my entire life says it.
You know what I mean?
Until now?
Until now, yeah.
I mean, does it bother you that most people don't say it that way?
Do you notice that?
Are you aware of it?
No, I think when they all say it, we say it.
We're not around much people that can get into Notre Dame.
I'll talk about on ESPN, they go,
tonight's matchup, the Cincinnati Bengals.
They don't say anything.
What do you think?
I just follow them around and go, I think I'm saying it wrong.
I think they're saying it wrong.
Okay. What are you, you protected of the
South or you're not protected of the South?
Who are you defending here? That's a good point.
I've never noticed it. I never
noticed either. The more we talk about it, the more
I'm thinking Bengals.
Like Bengals. Bengals.
Cincinnati Bengals.
Now I'm saying, it's wrong
in my head and I'm like, I can't get it out. Cincinnati, and he's from Connecticut. That's ESPN territory. Cincinnati Bengals. Now I'm saying, it's wrong in my head, and I'm like, I can't get it out.
Cincinnati, and he's from Connecticut.
That's ESPN territory.
That is true.
We invented how to say it.
Yeah.
Bengals.
How do you say it?
I say Bengals, like the bangs on your hair.
Bengals.
But like the band, the Bengals.
Yeah, that's a funny reference.
I would like to say.
But I mean, they spell it differently.
Both ways.
Bengals, the way we say it is B-I.
The way you say it is B-A.
No one's saying Bengals.
Bay.
Bengals.
She nailed it, though.
This is the exact argument we had about penguins.
Yeah.
So we obviously baits.
I think everybody knows this is Monday theay the something 20th 21st 21st
yeah first day of spring all that stuff uh and baits uh should be their babies should be coming
they're at the hospital they're at the hospital now yeah uh so it could be happening right now
we don't know if we get a live update we'll let you know uh but so yeah next time you guys will see baits he will be a father wow wow that's crazy
kelly swallows if we don't get a split screen of the rock bear chest with his baby and baby
baits on bear chest breakfast i will not feel my time dedicated to this podcast was even worth it
look at that there it is there it is that's so i mean good night the difference which one is which
again yeah yeah bait seems to get uh i think it's the first time i've seen baits with his shirt off
i don't care for it he needs to get that tattoo the rock has maybe just pull that blanket up a
little higher uh yeah if you're taking a picture i don't't know. You're like, just maybe, you know, no one's in there.
No one's in the room.
And they go, maybe just pull, you know.
Just a half an inch.
Just a little bit.
Pull it up.
Yeah.
I love how there's not a blanket in the left one.
Yeah.
Not a blanket at all.
I mean, the rock shows less nipple than Bates does,
and we'd rather see the rocks.
So look at his Bates.
Very cute.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah.
Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast, as always, Aaron Weber.
And look who's back.
Hello, folks.
Brian Baby Bates.
Welcome back to the show.
Thank you.
Baby's good.
She's great.
She's under the table right now.
And he's just rocking over their foot.
Like he just, she's doing real good, guys.
She's in the car, but it's a little chilly day.
So I don't think we can, I think we can leave the windows up.
Hello, folks.
And hey, Bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast.
Sitting here with Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, and a new guest with breakfast, Little Breakfast.
Hello, folks.
Hello, folks.
Hello.
We got a little visitor.
It was roughly a year ago.
It was exactly a year ago today that I revealed it in the recording, November 1st when we recorded it.
And it came out a few days later.
But yeah.
Yeah.
One year ago, I told you guys I was having, my wife was having a baby and here she is.
Here we are.
I still don't believe it.
Look at you.
Good size.
She's getting big.
So yeah. She's doing big. She's doing great.
She's doing great.
We wanted Eleanor to say hi to everybody.
The headphones are just for fun.
She doesn't need them.
Yeah, just people to go.
She was born with those headphones on.
All right.
All right, we're passing her off to Abigail.
Eleanor, put her out back in the car.
Bye, honey. Eleanor She would have been Put her out Back in the car And Bye honey
What if it was a whole
He has no wife
No baby
And we're just
We're just going through it
You know
Gotta keep the charade going
Gotta keep the charade going
Nate paid to have a baby here
That's my baby
Yeah
You know who didn't hurt himself
It's Chase My merch The guy that sells merch a baby here that's my baby yeah you know who didn't hurt himself it's uh chase my merch uh
the guy that sells merch which by the way we were saying uh this is like a hold on
uh my voice i think it's still the same so uh we did so so people think, a lot of people think Chase is my son.
Like, so if you see, if you go see Chase, if you go see the guy that sells merch, he's 22, I think.
He's never heard of the South Beach Tide.
I don't know.
Like, it's like, he's so young.
And, but a lot of people, they think, because he, I mean, you look at him, he kind of looks like me.
you look at him he kind of looks like me uh which is very hilarious to think that of all the personal stuff i talk about on stage i just wouldn't talk about my 23 year old son like i mean like i talk
about my dad my parents i talk about my brother sister my wife my daughter and i just never
mention like that that's by the way i've have a 23 year old son that we just kind of keep on the back
burner wouldn't it be great if he was just telling people that as he sold yeah well people think it's
he just fueled the rumor so if you but we wanted we had he he he just always laughs at the fact
that people say that to him but if you go buy merch i'm not telling you look you don't have to
i'm not forcing anybody to do anything if you you're buying merch, definitely bring up like, oh, you're Nate's son, right?
Like he never talks about.
Just say that to him constantly.
Even if you don't buy merch, maybe just go by him, say something.
We're going to see how long it takes till he will come back to me.
Don't say you heard it on the podcast.
Don't make it a big deal.
Just be like, no, I heard it.
You know, there's like rumors online.
Maybe there's a Reddit. He goes, everybody just said that you're his son that he doesn't talk about
and then just kind of move on about your day yeah and i want to see when he will eventually go
and like if he figures out like how are they it's becoming more aggressive becoming a problem
yes right people take a picture with him hashtag chase bargatze chase bargatze yeah yeah yeah uh chase nate's boy just yell it
yeah yeah yeah yeah you know i saw a comment on reddit that said can somebody post a picture of
nate's 23 year old son yeah and somebody who didn't listen to the podcast was like nah dude
we should respect his privacy they're like don't do this like you don't need to do this
to nate's kid yeah guys don't you know it's crossing the line guys you guys you crossed
the line my wife doesn't even know about him so too far we're gonna talk i don't know kind of out
of it yeah yeah yeah can i can i ask y'all something that made me think of it that electric
e-bikes have you seen this debate going on online we're a little late to the game but there's a big debate going on in the united
states do you think that there are more wheels or doors in the in the whole country if you add up
all bikes including bikes including everything cycles yeah everything in general more wheels
or doors doors you think there are more doors. You think there are more doors? 100%. There's more doors.
Think about one person's house.
There's three times the doors versus cars they have.
Okay.
Every person.
I think you have a lot more wheels in this house than you're thinking of.
What wheels are you?
I mean, like.
Well, you got the wheels.
You got your cars.
You got office chairs.
Four.
Two cars.
So we have eight wheels. Okay. I got that electric bike, 10 wheels. You got your cars. You got office chairs. Two cars, so we have eight wheels.
Okay.
I got that electric bike, 10 wheels.
There you go.
Lars got a bike, 12 wheels.
Yeah.
Lawnmower or something out there probably. Harper's got a bike.
It's got wheels.
Think about all the wheels on Harper's toys.
You got Lego wheels.
Yeah.
You got all these chairs here.
Are we counting gears too?
Do gears count as well this is also this is also depends upon how you how you define wheels and doors i already don't
where's this debate happening it's happening all over twitter it's all over social media oh
yeah it was the talk of the town a few weeks ago i'm just late to the game yeah i just want to hear
what y'all thought it would be be. I thought it was obviously wheels.
Oh, no, no.
I think if you're having to pull a lot of strings to make all these wheels beat the doors.
I don't know.
The doors come out of the gate.
I mean, just think about like, dude, there's two doors here in just this room, the bathroom door and the way to get out.
So it's like you have so many doors that now you're going to be –
There's 12 wheels.
There's 15 wheels in these chairs the three of us are sitting on.
Yeah, but that's what I mean.
Not at the end of this podcast.
Remember, 12.
Yeah, so far.
So that's just saying, but you're having to literally go chase down every will to beat doors.
So it's like –
Yeah, well, I don't think in this scenario you have to collect all of them in the country.
It's just a –
I know, but I don't think you can even count all the –
There's a Michael Jordan car that has four wills on it.
There you go.
There you go.
So that's what I mean.
So the argument kind of gets to –
It seems to me like it's a will person trying to beat a door person,
and the door people have them beat clearly,
and the will person's like, okay, but you forgot.
I didn't mention that your chair that rolls back and forth,
that's for you.
Like, okay, dude.
All right.
All right.
I guess if you add that, oh, there's a lawnmower.
You're like, all right.
So you're not talking about obviously what people think of wills.
When you say just wills, no one's even going to think lawnmower.
Don't forget lawnmower.
Yeah, well, that's a fun hypothetical.
Look at all the hotels in Vegas.
Oh, yeah.
Did you forget this guy's Hot Wheel collection?
Did you forget that?
A Lego makes millions of toy wheels a year.
Think about a hotel, though.
There's multiple doors at every hotel.
And these Vegas hotels have 30,000 doors.
I don't know how many
rooms they got.
But each one of those
doors has a roller chair
behind it.
Yeah.
That is true.
There's an office chair
in every room.
This wheel thing
is enraging to me.
You got to think
that every car,
wheels win cars.
So there you go.
There's always going to be
four wheels. At most, it's a tie. At most, it's a tie. Yeah. So there you go. There's always going to be, at most it's a tie.
At most it's a tie.
Yeah.
So it's neutral.
No, because a lot of cars only have two doors.
But they all have at least four wheels.
And a motorcycle doesn't have a door.
There you go.
I just think wheels wins in a landslide.
No.
I think, so I just look at it as like, that's fine.
Wheels might win.
But the time it's going to take you to figure out how many dumb wheels you're going to make up that's going to beat doors.
Like, I got so much money in the door world that I don't even – you're going to be tired.
You'll barely make it to the debate center because you'll be just worn out of just being like, wheel, there's a wheel.
Wheel.
You're like Jared Leto, just in character.
Wheel, wheel, wheel's a wheel, wheel. You're like Jared Leto, just in character. Wheel, wheel, wheel.
There's one wheel.
That's what I think.
All right.
It's good.
Good things, stuff's getting solved on Twitter.
Sorry.
All right, Elizabeth.
If you're thinking of doors versus wheels, then you have to consider all doors like kitchen cabinets,
fridge doors appliance
doors dollhouse doors etc fine you're still fine with it yeah that's all part of it that's all part
of it those are all count all those as doors yeah still think wheels wins well i think there's you're
going to spend a lot of time arguing arguing about wheels more than doors so i think i would spend it
would be a lot of time of going like,
come on, man, that's a will.
It moves in a will, and you're like, okay.
Because when I said the other doors,
I go, what about these cabinets?
These doors?
And you go, all right, that's fine.
Just make those doors.
Yeah, count those.
Yeah, you said it like,
the same way I'm saying about wills.
You're like, yeah, yeah, I'll count that.
We have a, you know.
Count them all.
All right.
There's no way to find, is there a real answer to it?
I think the fact that Lego makes 100 million wheels a year has to make them a favorite.
Has to make wheels a favorite.
Is there a way to get to the.
No, that's kind of the fun of it is that it's just a thought experiment.
There's no real answer.
What if you guys actually like put this effort towards like jobs and creating stuff like you think that would be what if you did that you know what i mean there's no answer to it so
what's the point of even talking about it be a lot less fun it's fun to how much do y'all not have to
do that you like to you come up with this no he's talking like I'm in a group that came up. Yeah. Friendship class? You debate this, and then you're like, yeah.
You debate something that can't be solved.
What was the other one that you did that you said earlier?
Joey Chestnut versus Usain Bolt.
Yeah, yeah.
That one's like-
That's a fun one.
That's a fun one, but it doesn't lead into just mindlessly.
like that's a fun one that's a fun one but it doesn't lead into just mindlessly i just look into the first one that you're like well a nut is a technically will you can will it and then
you're like all right dude i can't you're just throwing stuff out of my out of everything you're
like my aunt my aunt's got a fake knee there's a will in there that and i'm like oh yeah so she's in the house and you're like yeah she lives downstairs
welcome back everybody it also does this
this is the grammy part is my here's my uh i don't know if you can see it close.
It's the, they give you a nominee medal.
And so I got this sent to me a couple weeks ago.
Nice.
So I will have always have this.
That's awesome, man.
Grammy nominee.
And what do they tell you?
I mean, that's a line that's, you're going to be introduced that way forever.
Grammy.
that's a line that's you're gonna be introduced that way forever for the rest of my life yeah i'm a grammy nominee grammy nominated comedian you look like kramer with his motorcycle helmet
they i'll be honest wearing this helmet when i uh when i did this uh, let's go ahead and bring my wife in, Laura Bargetzi.
All right.
First time on the long time.
No, I want to say the opposite.
First time caller, long time listener.
No, no.
I always looked at it the other way.
I always want to call into a place and go, first time listener, long time caller.
The opposite.
You just called in.
So, yeah, this is the helmet I wore.
Balled it at Blizzard's in Charleston, West Virginia.
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to get ahead of you.
This was all your idea.
So this was my idea.
This was all your idea.
So this was my idea.
So wearing the helmet was...
So they were going to do... I might take it off because I can't...
No, please leave it off.
Oh, leave it off?
I think it's great.
Yeah.
So this was my idea.
I would say take it off.
Well, it's already off.
Okay.
So... I think that is you're supposed to take this off but i think it looks cool uh i don't be bothered i'm a grammy nominee now dude
i can't go out in public so i'll wear this i'll be honest you wearing this i think if if i'm not
a comedian i could wear this on the red carpet you wearing this i think if if i'm not a comedian
i could wear this on the red carpet and they would just be like oh yeah that's what someone's doing
he's making a statement i mean there's like yeah i would fit in this where if i wore this helmet
on the red carpet it would i would have been like i don't know if they would have talked about me
they would have been there's so many other people they would have never mentioned it they had been
like oh that one guy wore a helmet.
They're like, I mean, how many helmets do people wear every year to the Grammys?
30?
40?
I forgot to mention, when we got home to the hospital, I had to go pick up some medicine.
We'd been in the hospital for four days.
I was like, why do I smell gas?
The squirrels had bitten through my gas line again.
Again.
Wow.
Never got to the bottom of this.
Apparently not. What did you do to get rid of them we did everything people suggested put out fake snakes we put out mothballs we spray
i'm back to spraying now this rodent repellent but yeah i'm gonna have to build a garage because
it's gonna cost me more yeah the car repairs i car repairs. I mean, just move. I've never, I don't know.
I just never, it's so funny to never have this and you are getting a full blown attack.
This is such a big problem.
It's such a big problem.
Did you order fake snakes on Amazon or something?
I did.
Okay.
And you laid those out all around the car?
We've got like two, one by our car and one by our dad's car.
And her dad's like moving it now.
Yeah.
He thinks, you know, the snake, he thinks the squirrels are onto it.
So he's moving it, but he doesn't tell anybody.
So I'll just be going to the mailbox and I just jump out of my skin
because her dad's moved it.
Well, then y'all are going to get,
you're going to have a real snake one day and be like, come on.
And then grab it.
I know.
Yeah.
Retracting snakes.
Cause they're like, oh, there's snakes.
You know, I'll tell you where everybody's cool with your snake. The old bait house. grab it i know yeah we're attracting snakes because they're like oh there's snakes they go
you know i'll tell you where everybody's cool if you're a snake the old bait house yeah they're
invited yeah they don't care they love it we just had a squirrel attack our car wires as well
my dad is a mechanic and he said use original scent irish spring bars soap. Put it in a sock and fasten it up underneath the car and it works.
You try that?
I haven't yet, but I will.
Do Irish spring bar soap.
It's always like so much extra stuff.
It's like you want it to be like, all right, just get soap.
And you're like, all right, just throw it in the car or something.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
You got to get a sock that you're fine getting rid of.
And then you got to fasten it up underneath the car.
Special scent Irish speak?
No, original scent.
Do you have to then move it?
Like you have to, before you go out there, get it out and then always go back and forth?
I don't know.
Like when everybody goes to your car, you got to, do you mind popping that hood?
And then you just
untie your sock and soap.
What does it mean it works?
It keeps the squirrels away
or they get poisoned
when they eat it?
No, it keeps them away.
Yeah.
And it gets clean.
Because apparently
squirrels are attacking
her and Bates' car.
On a regular basis.
No one else has heard any about this ever.
Me and Carrie Ann.
Carrie Ann and Bates have got a wild squirrel thing going on.
Lauren Watson, to get rid of the squirrels.
There's more squirrel stuff.
Put a flashing radio clock out there and let it play 24-7.
We got rid of squirrels and garden critters this way.
You can also sprinkle human hair and they smell it and stay away.
Yeah.
Keeps.com.
Is that right?
Keeps.
Yeah.
Brian can't afford it.
No.
He's like, I don't know. I can't just throw hair out there. I'd rather have the squirrels. Yeah. Brian can't afford it. He's like, I don't know.
I can't just throw hair out there.
I'd rather have the squirrels.
Yeah.
It's a lot of stuff.
Why is it a radio clock?
I don't know.
Hair works?
To put human hair just...
Wow.
It doesn't blow away?
Is Lauren here?
Yeah, Lauren.
Y'all know Lauren, dude? All Lauren. Y'all know Lauren, dude?
All right.
Y'all know all of you.
Y'all didn't give them, no one of them got tickets?
You're like, yeah, I don't know.
I mean, the flashing red clock, I think, just, I don't know,
is, you know, if you want to know.
You have to plug it in?
If you're letting the squirrels know you're white trash,
you're like, well, how are they going to know
if I don't have a car out there? You're like, well, how are they going to know if I don't have a car out there?
You're like, well, put a flashing radio clock and let it play the whole time.
That kind of lets everybody know what's up at your house.
Don't bother breaking in.
There ain't much in here.
All our expenses are out in the yard with our flashing radio clock that keeps the squirrels away.
You have a little squirrel update?
I have a lot of squirrel updates.
Since I last talked about it, they've hit my car twice.
Twice.
They might listen.
I...
Light came on in my car.
This is just like two weeks ago.
And then I took it in the shop and they're like, yep, squirrels bit through your fuel line.
And we're going to, you know, they fixed it or whatever.
It was in the shop for a week.
I bring it home.
Like a week later, that light comes back on.
I was like, they didn't fix it.
So I'm taking it back over there and have them fix it.
I take it back over there and they're like, no, it back over there they're like no no they did it again it's happened just since that so
twice in the last three weeks i've had my car in the shop for these rodents biting biting through
the line if i didn't know your wife i'd think you lived in the complete wilderness yeah i know
that's what everybody thinks squirrels the the pole cats. Yeah. Yeah.
We have so many critters.
We have a groundhog, a snake of the day.
Oh, so then I go, oh, there's the, that's the- You got it.
Oh.
That's the mechanics took a picture of it, showed the line.
It tore through that thing, man.
It bit through.
What are the squirrels playing?
I don't know do you
think they can smell weakness and they just i mean these like i don't even know what the squirrel
was trying to get that seems malicious it does seem like there's something in the lines like
what have you been up to they like so then my father-in-law is very stressed about he has
nothing else going on so he's like i'm gonna already put out a fake snake, a fake owl,
but now the squirrels just think they're friends.
So they're like, that didn't work.
So my father-in-law is like, I'm going to get another fake snake.
But he doesn't know how to order stuff online or something.
So he went to Phillips Toy Mart and just bought a toy snake
and put it out in our driveway.
That's what that other one was.
So that's what we're
using now to deter i thought it was real squirrels okay well i guess it works it's pretty good well
maybe it's a little over dramatic and that's a good thing maybe so are y'all gonna move it around
every now and again i mean right now i have two snakes under my car and a bar of soap uh because
someone suggested on the podcast the irish spring original. And they said put it in a sock and fasten it to your car.
I don't know how to do that.
So I just put a bar of soap under my car.
Yeah.
But it's raining today, so when I get home.
The driveway's clean.
Clean, yeah.
You might think about getting a real snake.
Yeah, you just found out.
You said you had one?
I saw one the other day in our yard.
There you go.
Did you talk to him and ask him?
If he was available for parties.
Yeah. That's wild, man. Yeah. in my yard yeah there you go did you talk to him and ask him if he was available for parties i mean what was wild man yeah so does anybody like your neighbors no one have you ever asked
any of these people yeah i mean i put it on the neighborhood facebook thing and tons of people
commented like it's a real problem now most people have garages and i guess we're gonna have to do
that but that's a that's not a quick fix. Yeah.
Well, it's good that they're not just going after you.
No, it's a big thing in our neighborhood.
That would make me feel better.
Yeah.
Jared Robertson, just watched The Greatest Average American.
I got to know who put syrup in the waffle maker.
And I'll tell you who, Breakfast Bates over here.
Yeah.
They probably could have guessed that. Does it not make sense? breakfast baits over here. That's what he did. Yeah. Yeah.
They probably could have guessed that.
Does it not make sense?
Yeah.
Once you're done,
you're like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
This is all day long.
It was, yeah.
He actually made me sound better
than it really was.
Yeah.
It was worse than,
yeah, I was trying to be like,
you know, show a little class.
Yeah.
There was a countdown clock, so I could see exactly when things were about to go bad.
Yeah.
I mean, just the line.
You know, like if all of us were in line behind Brian, we would all be like, you almost want to see it.
And you'd expect it.
You're like, well, let's all go watch.
But when people don't know, it's a lot.
It's a lot for people.
And then he just ruins everybody's breakfast for the rest of the day.
Got down there early.
He's got his little MTSU shirt on, shorts.
He's in clothes that you're like, did he sleep in them?
Probably.
I don't know.
You want to hear a crazy story?
It happened this weekend.
So we have a buddy of ours, Steve Byrne,
stand-up comedian who lives here in Nashville.
Good friend.
He was on the road in Fort Wayne, Indiana with Joe Gatto.
They went to an antique store,
and he texted me a picture of this from the antique store.
It's a baseball glove with the name Aaronaron weber on it written with a sharpie and he sends it to me as a joke and he says did you leave behind a baseball glove
in fort wayne indiana i said no so i took that picture i sent it to my parents just to let them
know hey isn't this funny my mom goes that's my handwriting she used to write our names on all
the gloves with a sharpie like that so that's why mom wrote my name on the Sharpie.
And my dad goes, that's 100% your glove.
No way.
So we don't know what happened.
But my childhood baseball glove ended up in an antique store in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which we've never lived there.
And Steve Byrne happened to be in that store and saw it.
Did he buy it?
When I told him about this, he had already left,
and he tried to go back the next day, and they were closed.
But we've got to find a way to go get it.
I'm in Indiana in June.
I'll get it for you.
Are you in Fort Wayne?
Yeah, close.
Oh, dude.
Hopefully nobody buys it.
You've got to call them and say, I want that.
I bet there's a folk that lives there that'll go get it for you.
There might be. Yeah. Yeah, someone's there. I bet there's a folk that lives there that'll go get it for you. There might be.
Yeah.
Yeah, someone's there.
Is someone, what is the name of this place?
I need to find that out too.
Your glove is an antique.
That's a good way to find all the information.
I mean, it may not be.
It's a pretty hot commodity.
You literally know everything.
You found a glove from when you were a kid in a different city.
Well, what's the name?
So people maybe go grab it.
You know, I don't know. I don't know. Did your parents, did they have like yard sales and stuff? you were a kid in a different city well what's the name so people maybe go grab it you know i
don't know i don't know did your parents did they have like yard sales and stuff we here's the best
guess my mom could come up with is that when they the last time they moved they had a box somewhere
that just accidentally got left behind and then this got donated to goodwill or something like
that and it just made its way.
We've never been to Fort Wayne.
We've never lived there.
Somehow made its way up there to an antique store.
Do you have any memories with this glove?
Absolutely.
I remember this glove specifically.
Oh, wow.
Now that I was like, oh, I did have a mag, M-A-G on it.
I just thought it was the craziest coincidence ever.
You're wearing it, and you're asking, like,
hey, why do we have to wear cotton on these summer days?
I don't know. What is it, Seinfeld?
Oh, the baseball uniforms?
Yeah, isn't it too hot?
Polyester? No, polyester's
too hot. Yeah, and they switch to cotton?
Yeah, polyester. Sorry.
That is crazy.
Well, if you get the name of it, maybe
in a couple weeks you can let the audience know.
Yeah.
I'll grab the four.
An antique store in Fort Wayne.
Yeah.
If it's an antique store, they're probably like, wow, is this some ancient glove?
Yeah.
I mean, why else would it?
Yeah.
You got to be careful how much you want it because then they'll jack the price up.
No, they might.
I would pay.
You know, I wouldn't have even paid.
Like if somebody showed it to me, I don't know.
Just this whole story was so crazy.
Do you want the glove back or do you want it to?
I'd like it to round off the story.
Yeah.
Like the fact that Steve was there and found it,
we had just exchanged numbers.
It was like a crazy coincidence that he was there and saw this.
Yeah.
It'd be fun to have it on the table and talk about it.
Yeah.
I would have loved to.
It would be.
If you get it, we can put it up.
Yeah.
We'll put it up here. Yeah, we got to. Yeah. Yeah. I'll make it happen. I will find it. I would have loved to. It would be. If you get it, we can put it up. We'll put it up here.
Yeah, we got to.
I'll make it happen.
I will find it.
And we'll end the story in a good way.
Yeah, and I believe you with Planet Fitness and that other thing.
Before we get into it, can I ask the glove update?
Yeah, Steve Byrne got the glove.
He brought it to me.
I have it.
I have my childhood
baseball glove back where is it it's it's at my house right now i mean how do you how would you
not bring it yeah because i came i was in denver this morning i came straight here so i didn't get
a chance to grab but how then why would we even why would we bring it up i don't think brian knew
that i didn't didn't know well i just so many people have asked. It's good to follow up. We're going to update in the next episode.
Two weeks from now, I'll have it. Oh, God. I don't even care.
I'm not even impressed with this story.
Oh, it's a great story. Now, a lot of people have commented that it was great
until they realized you and your entire family went to school in Indiana, very close to where
this was. Yeah, but I didn't bring my baseball glove from when I was eight to college.
Yeah.
So that's not where it was from.
Maybe your brother at Purdue or –
He took an eight-year-old's baseball glove to college?
It's definitely a crazy – yeah, it's a crazy story.
I don't say you don't bring the glove.
I just don't.
I didn't have a chance, dude.
Like a plant just uh if you
think about a show that we're creating we're creating a show i came straight for the airport
dude to go you know uh it's like uh i got a tattoo uh with nate laying on it wow dude can we see it
i'd really like i'd really like to show you oh okay all right but i'm glad i'm glad we said that
because i i'm still getting a lot of messages people offering to go grab it for me okay and i need everyone to know it's been grabbed yes it's
back in my hands yeah thank you yeah kind of yeah let me go grab it from erin's house if people are
listening i think that would be great if people could go actually so maybe we could see it before
uh a month later oh that's. Last day of the podcast.
Oh, there's that glove.
Remember that story?
Steve Byrne went through all that trouble.
And he just, you know.
Oh, can I, while we're on the topic of this, just to put an end to this story.
I know we're past the point of caring.
But I've got, this is the baseball glove.
Oh, wow.
It's been brought back to me.
I appreciate everybody.
I'm still getting messages asking to go pick it up for me.
We have the glove.
People say it doesn't even exist.
It is a real glove.
It's in Nate's hand right now.
It's a mag.
It's a real not good glove.
Is it good?
It's all right.
It's definitely, it's lived in.
Yeah.
Put a lot of. In 1997, I graduated high school.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good glove.
Yeah.
Got it back.
So I've got it back.
Thank you, Steve Byrne, for doing that.
Thank you, everybody, for reaching out and asking about it.
Thanks for bringing it.
I mean
guys thanks everybody
I did win
the lottery
oh wow
you have your little
thing to show
oh I didn't think
I should
I didn't know
I should bring it
but I'll just
y'all want to see it
need to come
I did sell peanut butter
for 10 years
so I know a little bit about it.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Wait, you've talked about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, I knew that's true.
So, you know, what do you think about it?
You sold it?
You sold peanut butter?
Door to door?
No, man.
I didn't go door to door.
Yeah.
When in your life?
What are you, a lunatic?
Have you ever seen the peanut butter guy coming door to door? It in your life are you a lunatic have you ever seen
the peanut butter guy coming door it's from a different time man i don't know if that used to
happen here comes the drift how old do you think i am would you go man you had the peanut butter
it was you and the milkman is it like ups fedex now yeah y'all would see each other yeah
hey yeah y'all go eat and you're like that's cool man y'all friends in real life
though you're like yeah yeah like that's cool man yeah with him but the i was jiff the peter
peter pan guy was not friends not friends well the jelly people you're almost like jelly because
maybe peanut butter seems like it came first over jelly kind of kissing up to them yeah yes
oh you think jelly's yeah you know that's
where the even though you are you're like peanut butter would be like we're the staple we're true
to what we are yeah and then jelly you're like i don't love jelly i think jelly's flashy and all
this other stuff but they're moving yeah it's the future yeah so it's either be friends with them
or don't yeah get out of the't, or get out of the game.
Yeah, yeah, get out of the game.
You're not going to change the game.
You're not going to change the game.
You met a guy that said-
Jelly's the future.
Yeah, if you know-
Well, jelly was,
it changed everything.
It did.
It changed the game.
I would imagine peanut butter was first
and it was like,
you know, it's good.
It's like,
is that not right?
Oh, no.
I mean-
God, they make you really study
when you sell peanut butter, huh?
Yeah, I mean,
you know, people ask these questions. You just they make you really study when you sell peanut butter, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know.
People ask these questions.
You just don't go selling it.
Yeah.
You know what's happening.
You show up at somebody's doorstep, you better know your stuff.
Yeah.
I think nowadays.
There was no doorsteps, man.
I know.
It wasn't selling Girl Scout cookies or something, man.
Encyclopedias.
Come on.
I had big accounts, Darren. accounts big accounts you tie the horse
up to the thing i had like inside kroger you know like i am yeah all right yeah man you're kind of
belittling what i did you gotta talk kroger into buying peanut butter they were an anti-peanut
butter go ahead no no now you sound like my dad. Okay. It was like, you know, I always had a hard time explaining the job.
It was a good job.
It was like, you know, paid a lot and it was a competitive job to get.
But my dad was like, well, you know, you're not really in sales.
I'm like, yeah, I am.
He was like, well, I've been going to the grocery store for 60 years and they've always had Jif peanut butter.
Yeah.
What do they need you for?
It's not about
whether they carry it or not.
It's about how much they sell
to their consumer. There's all kinds of things.
Dials and switches I can move
to help them sell more. He'd still be like,
yeah, you're not in sales.
Like the display and such.
Display is a big display.
Shelf placement.
Shelf placement is another.
Shelf placement is another.
You want to be eye level?
You'd like to be eye level.
Yeah.
You'd like to have a block.
You'd like to have a real nice block.
I don't know why that's funny, Nate.
I'm telling you, this is important stuff here.
He said you'd like to be eye level.
Like it's just such a serious, like I felt like I was interviewing to be a peer. I go, so we want to be eye level? You'd like to be A-level. Like, it's just such a serious. Like, I felt like I was interviewing to be a B-level.
I go, so we want to be A-level?
You like to be.
Don't expect to be A-level.
You're not just going to walk in there and be A-level.
You're just going to walk in and say you're A-level.
I mean, yeah, you're a new kid on the block.
Don't think you're going to try to throw you at the bottom.
You show up the first day.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, and I saw it in a lot of different places.
I mean, Jif, we were brand leader usually.
We were A-level.
If you walk into a store today and you see Jif on the bottom shelf,
somebody did something to make somebody angry.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Now Pringles, that was a whole – we were –
You sold Pringles too?
Yeah, I sold Pringles.
So you got out of peanut butter.
No, no.
I was saying they were the same company.
I sold Pringles, Jif, Duncan Hines.
Is Pringles considered a potato chip?
It is.
You're selling very easy.
You're selling things that are-
It's not easy, Nate.
I mean, I think I'm on your dad's team.
I know.
You're selling stuff that's like, I don't know.
I swear I went through this.
The things that I have to have.
I went through this, but I was like-
That's like you're selling cocaine.
It goes pretty good.
People really like it.
You go, oh, is it hard to do?
No, but I had competitors. You go, oh, is it hard to do?
No, but I had competitors.
You go up against Skippy and see how well you do.
Jif is the main one. It is the main, but it got there through guys like me.
Food's on the ground.
Food's on the ground.
Yeah.
Shoe leather and knuckles.
And now we know who to thank.
Yeah.
Okay.
I started Jif is spelled with a G.
Let's go, folks. And now we know who to thank. Yeah. Okay. I started Jiffy Spelled with a G.
Let's go, folks.
Well, welcome, everybody.
Thanks for listening to this.
This is the 100th episode, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty crazy.
Did you think we'd make it?
To 100?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't think I thought of it. You didn't think we'd make it. Yeah.? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I thought of it.
You didn't think we'd make it, Brian and I.
You knew you'd get here. When I look at both of y'all, I think, golly, how did y'all slip by me for 100 episodes?
No, I don't know if I – no, I mean, I thought – I don't know.
I don't know what I thought when we started it, but it's – I mean, every time I go to shows, people come up.
They listen to it. They love it's it is fun to do uh so it's great and i i love that i mean i love
how much people are listening to it and so it's fun 100 episodes yeah so with 100 episodes uh
we we are gonna change up something a little bit. And, yeah, Bates, you go.
You move up to my role, Bates.
I'm in your role.
Let's switch.
People voted, and they wanted more Brian.
So we're going to change it up, and we're adding a fourth co-host.
Oh, man.
So it'll be four of us i know people you know we've mentioned
stuff like that i think it's fun i'm excited about it uh it's just another comic another
someone that's funny that uh i think fits very well with us uh i believe we haven't blurred out
right now and if uh i mean if you're at home and you're trying to guess, you can pause it.
If you want to pause it and try to take a shot.
I mean, you think they could?
I don't know.
Who are you going to guess?
He's appeared on the show before.
Aaron, do you want to take a guess?
Would you have any idea?
Yeah, I got a pretty good clue.
He's blurred out, Aaron.
So how could you see him?
Can I guess?
You took that like it was a real beating.
I thought you were going to
go play long.
You made it sound like I really just yelled at you.
Oh, yeah. It was a cower over here in the corner.
You go, I'm sorry. My bad, dude.
Can I guess? Yeah.
I'm going to say it's the
guy that used to work with your sister
who's the Bigfoot expert.
He is.
It is.
We brought him in.
He was great.
He was amazing.
Welcome to Nate Land, Dusty Slick.
All right.
All right. We're having a good time.
Having a good time.
Wow, that buildup really had me.
You know what I mean?
I was more nervous about that buildup than going on shows.
Yeah.
Well, look, I think we're big fans, obviously,
and I think you fit well with us.
You grew up poorer than all of us, which is nice.
Yeah, bring in a real poor aspect to this.
A lot of money floating around this table.
Yeah. Well, we didn't have money. Aaron comes. A lot of money floating around this table. Yeah.
Well, we didn't have money.
Aaron comes from a pretty wealthy family.
That's right.
He comes from royals.
Yes.
And then, but so me and Bates wanted to feel,
we wanted to be able to punch down, and we were like,
well, who could we get?
Yes.
Oh, Dusty was in a trailer park.
That's right.
I brought food stamps with me this time around just to pass out,
just so you knew what they looked like.
That's how we're paying them.
And then with Galaxy, so we're the Milky Way.
We're named after that candy bar.
And then.
That's what they'll have at that wedding.
Yeah.
Milky Ways.
Yeah.
Why would we be named after a candy bar?
Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
It's better than Baby Ruth.
Yeah, but I wish it should get its own fame.
Yeah.
You know?
All right, Kit Kat.
Yeah.
When did the Milky Way get...
It got named after the...
What did we call it?
The Milky Way.
Why did they call it the Milky Way?
Because it looks like Milky?
Butterfinger Galaxy.
That'd be a lot of fun.
Ooh.
Because you know what's on the outside, but you don't really know what's on the inside.
The Milky Way Candy Bar was created in 1923.
Yeah.
The name and taste derived from a then popular malted milk drink of the day, not after the
astronomical galaxy.
So when did we start calling it the Milky Way?
Yeah.
So we did name the galaxy after the candy bar.
Well, yeah.
We might have.
The term was actually used 2,500 years ago.
A little bit earlier.
We call the galaxy the Milky Way a little longer than the candy bar.
But I think saying that you named the candy bar after a milkshake seems a little inaccurate.
They shouldn't let them do it just because you're like, man, you're kind of just ruining what we're doing with space yeah it really like takes the kind of steam out of it when you you know it's
like it's also a candy bar yeah that's how little serious we take it is we're naming it as and it's
not even one of our real great ones oh go, golly, dude.
You think a Milky Way is that good?
Oh, my God, dude.
You hit a button there.
Start this podcast over, man.
You think a Milky Way is...
Milky Way is, man, the number one, in my opinion.
Oh, no way, dude.
I enjoy a Milky Way, but number one?
Number one.
Look, I'll be honest with you.
I don't know if I've even had one saying all this.
Oh, dude.
Over Snickers, dude?
It's like a weak Snickers.
It's like Snickers with no peanuts.
Yeah.
It's like a weak Snickers.
Dude, a Snickers.
Yeah, I'm not trying to eat a meal at the candy bar, dude.
I want a Milky Way.
It's just nice and smooth.
They've got caramel chocolate.
It's the right texture.
It's the right size.
It's everything you need.
It's everything you want.
What was first, Snickers or milky way i like i didn't i don't think i've ever had a milky way or you know
i but i people people snickers get rid of them yeah it's your favorite size yeah it's your
favorite one it's my favorite one and i don't even think it's close uh more than a reese's
snickers came after the Milky Way.
The Milky Way paved the way, dude.
Milky Way walked so Snickers could run.
It's the most unoriginal thing that you named it after the,
oh, do you want to eat my moon Skittles?
Why don't you come up with your own name that's not, you know,
you can't, Snickers is a great, like, that's a name that's made up.
I'm just shocked at the reaction that Aaron has had.
Hey, would you like a Jupiter?
It tastes like banana.
I've never seen Aaron so fired up in my whole life.
I've never seen someone even think about Milky Ways like that.
I love a Milky Way.
I mean, I need to try one.
You're going to play Augusta.
I'm going to say that.
You'll finally play probably the nicest golf course in America, right?
Yeah.
I'm going to say that.
You'll finally play probably the nicest golf course in America, right?
Yeah.
And you're going to meet Jerry Seinfeld and get to know him and have his number and become friends with him.
Oh, man.
How exciting would that be?
I did talk to Seinfeld.
All right.
I have talked to him.
There it is.
Big time.
Who predicted this?
One of Bates' big predictions.
One of Bates' predictions was I talked.
It was very crazy.
I talked to Seinfeld, FaceTimed, and it was surreal.
It was not super long.
It was quick.
I have his phone number.
I was very excited about that.
Can I have it?
Yeah, I'll give it to you.
I'll post it.
And yeah, it was crazy i mean just
seeing him like just it's unreal to like you're just looking at him and you're like it's you dude
it's you that's amazing he was uh yeah he was very complimentary very nice and something and
i think i did say i was like well i won't bore you. I said, I won't overwhelm you with what you've meant to my career.
I did that, but I don't wear short sleeves on stage because of you.
And he laughed at that.
I was like, that's how much this dude's...
I'm not wearing short sleeves on stage because you said it looked weird
in a commentary on your DVD.
Not even like that's what he lives by right it's
just like an awe and he might even wear shorts it might be such a side comment that he doesn't even
remember it and you're like and i don't it changed your life it changed everything yeah
we have these bells too we we bought bells you walk around the bell and like rings a little bit
and a bear bell and so it's like enough to like so the bear would hear you walk around the bell and like rings a little bit and a bear bell and so it's
like enough to like so the bear would hear you then because the bear doesn't want to meet you
but it's like if you walk up on it it's that's when you can get in trouble the bell thing though
we wore it the first day and no one else had a bell and i felt so stupid as we're walking by
these people like ding and then i looked it up and people were like yeah those don't
you know because it's like they're not loud enough like the bears hearing is like our hearing i think
and so it's like you know i don't know it's like maybe it would work and it's not you could do it
but it's if you i mean we're walking by children without bells and so i was like all right we were
yelling hey bear so much and you you just go, hay bear.
Just a group of family of four walks by.
You're like.
And you're like, oh.
Thought you were a bear.
Paul D.
I think hay bear should be the response to hello, folks.
I like that.
Yeah, that's fun.
You know, the last podcast, I started with hay bear.
Yeah.
I love a nice hay bear.
Yeah.
Hay bear.
A lady that gave me candy wrote a note and it said hay bear yeah to me
i like hay bear yeah yeah could be good is hello folks i mean like when it's uh yeah it's like hay
bear so you know because i do hello folks and i do let's go folks when we start the podcast yeah
maybe let's go bears yeah uh jay color uh hey bear yeah a hay bear just gotta pop in whenever yeah hay bear feels
like it's one that uh it pops in we were doing it on the trip and they're they're very funny to pop
in hay bear yeah like just throwing in a nice hay bear out of nowhere yeah you know and if you're
hiking and you do a hay bear and someone gives you a hello folks back. Yeah. Then you know what's happening.
That's, yeah.
You know what's going on.
Yeah.
Hello folks.
Yeah.
Hey bear.
Hey, that is a pretty, even let's go for like, it is funny.
Someone goes, hello folks.
Hey bear.
And then see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because then people will be very confused on that.
That could be, it could, y'all can you know i like it i like the you know i like
the less i like people you know i always i'll talk to harper and as we were talking about hello folks
and let's go folks and we said what i was like what are you and she said she thinks she's more
let's go folks but i like that there is a hello folks let let's go. Like there is a, it is like, you know, I met someone in Paso
and they were, you know, fewer hello folks and then ones like I'm a let's go.
And it is like, you're like, you kind of get who the person is.
Yeah.
And that, I do like that.
But I do like Hey Bear.
Hey Bear.
All right.
Hello folks and Hey Bear.
I like Hey Bear now.
I got Hey Bear all weekend for people. It's fun, and hey, bear. I like hey, bear now. I got hey, bear all weekend for people.
It's fun.
Hey, bear is great.
It's like it is the good – I think someone said it in the comments.
It's the best response, the let's go, folks.
Like, hey, if you say hello, folks, you go hey, bear,
because it's such an opposite that it does.
So I agree.
I guess if we take a vote, the vote was hey I agree. I guess we take a vote.
The vote was hay bear.
We didn't take a vote.
I've been getting some hay bear too.
And I think if a lady says hay bear to me, I'm like, my wife is going to be upset about this.
People come up, they go, hay bear.
And I'm like, I don't know if that's okay.
It sounds like you're already in another relationship so much that y'all have dick names for each other.
Right, right. She's like, it can't even be like, so much that y'all have dick names for each other. Right, right.
She's like, it can't even be like, oh, did y'all just meet?
You're like, we've been dating for five to six years.
And she calls me bear.
And I go, hey, bear.
They did a survey a few months ago of Americans to see what animals would win in a fight and what animals humans could beat in a fight.
And if you could pull that up.
Yeah.
6% of American men said they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight,
which is ridiculous.
I imagine these are big dudes though,
I would say that.
Yeah,
but still,
come on.
Just juke it.
What about like a Brock Lesnar type?
You don't think Brock Lesnar could take a grizzly bear?
I looked up like, could an MMA fighter like choke a bear out or just anything?
And they're like, no, it would be over just like that.
But people have done it before.
Yeah.
People have fought off bears.
Yeah.
Well, they fought off.
They didn't win a fight.
Did they get a bear left?
I mean, I saw The Revenant.
That's based on a true story.
By bear. He had a true story by bear.
He had a gun and a knife.
Remember the old Tank Abbott?
Yeah.
MMA guy.
I think if he got a couple of punches to the face of the grizzly bear,
I think he'd take it.
Well, Khabib.
When he was a kid, Khabib would wrestle bears.
Yeah. They're big dudes.
Yeah.
I'd take this guy over a bear yeah it's it's the it's
the idea that so your mentee your brains come into it are you serious yeah why not yeah people have
killed bears before so your your uh your smartness comes into play too so that's that's used as your
advantage you're talking about pure strength no no no humans are. You're talking about pure strength? No. No humans are strong. You're talking about just straight up, they walk in, and it's like, here we go.
And you just got to be smarter than the bear.
You trip it.
Trip it, it falls down.
You know how hard it is for a bear to get back up?
It's not easy.
Imagine a bear comes and attacks a guy like Butterbean.
Yeah, you got Butterbean pulled up.
And Butterbean starts whacking him.
He's like, whoa, whoa, I didn't see that coming.
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
Yeah.
He's like, the last guy I attacked just laid down on the ground and played dead.
I think a lot of stuff will have to go right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To say the least.
But, you know.
I mean, like, what about, like.
I think 6% is a good, a good amount.
I would like,
that's a good amount that said they could do it.
You're like,
yeah,
I believe those 6%.
Yeah.
I believe those six.
And you can talk to me that it's only four and there's 2% that's just where you're a lunatic.
What about like,
and then there's a 4% that you're like,
all right.
Now that,
if you could scroll down a little bit further,
it will show like what animals,
that's what,
uh,
you could beat. I love bit further, it'll show what animals... That's what you could beat.
I love that there's 28% that feel like they can't take out a rat.
Yeah.
I might be one of those 28.
Yeah.
House cat, goose, 61%. Goose are tricky.
Yeah, they're mean.
They're mean.
I got boxed out by some geese on a hike in Bristol, Tennessee.
This little narrow passageway.
This goose just stood there in the middle and just wouldn't let me pass.
And it took like 20 minutes.
They're scary, dude.
The thing about a lot of these animals is you can't just go around kicking a goose.
If you were down there on that trail and that goose was coming at you
and you kicked it,
stomped that goose into the ground,
and then some other hikers came,
they'd be like,
jeez, dude.
So I would think that you got to look at these.
You look at this list of animals.
It goes rat, house cat, goose, medium-sized dog.
Medium-sized dog is down to 50%.
I think they could beat it.
Eagle, 30.
Large dog, 23.
Chimpanzee, 17.
King cobra, 15.
So now you're getting into the low ones.
So you got to go, all right, where am I getting nervous at?
You know, large dog, you're like, all right, I think I could beat it.
I think you got to look at, look at what animal am I comfortable charging?
So who am I comfortable grabbing and charging?
And you got to really be on man-to-man combat.
And so you got the dog.
Champion Z, I think, is tough because they're just so much.
They're strong.
Yeah.
And they have fingers and stuff like you.
So that's bad news.
Yep.
King Cobra obviously is just, I mean, I think you could beat it up.
You'd have to get it by the tail and then sling it.
But once you did that, it would be over.
I charm it.
I play music.
You would?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, my dad told me he knew a guy.
That guy attacked by a fox recently.
He was cleaning his pool and a fox came up.
And he said the guy killed the fox, but the fox was tearing him up, was biting his legs and just bit the guy up.
In the end, he won, but he got eat up.
Yeah, I think every animal is going to be tough.
I mean, even a rat would be hard because it's a matter of like,
you've got to think, now this is not a normal fight.
This is a fight to the death.
So you're thinking you're in a room.
You can't leave the room.
One of you, maybe not.
Is it a fight to death?
They don't specify.
To the death, it's going to be tough to kill a grizzly bear with your bear hands.
Well, as far as bear attacks, it basically said, don't do what you suggested. Don't try to run from the death. It's going to be tough to kill a grizzly bear with your bear hands. Well, as far as bear attacks, it basically said don't do what you suggested.
Don't try to run from the bear.
The grizzly bear, that is.
Because no one's trying it.
They said they can run as fast as a horse.
Wow.
And they'll catch you.
It doesn't matter.
It's the...
It's the juice of the doubt.
Shake and bake.
Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear.
Yeah, I bet so.
I bet Barry Sanders could tackle a grizzly bear.
Well, he's a running back.
Now, if you get...
But you tell me, though, he couldn't tackle it?
You tell me Barry Sanders couldn't tackle it?
Come on.
Come on.
You sound like a guy...
I feel like you slurred that, too.
I did.
You sound like an old drunk Dusty.
You're talking about Bear Sands.
Bear Sands.
You said Bear Sands can't take a taco book.
And you're like, Dusty, are you driving?
Did you?
Bear Sands.
You look me in the face. You sound occasion. Right now in the face, you're going to look me in the face
you sound occasion
right now in the face
you gonna look me
in the eyes
face
and say
best son
best son
can't take
best son
can't take
a good
beer
best son
can't take
a good
is that what
you gonna tell me
right now
alright Dusty
alright buddy
this guy
something's wrong
with him.
Coley Escher.
Coley Escher.
Dusty did a fantastic job at the Palm Beach Improv this weekend, but I was at the show where audience members kept interrupting with yee-yee.
Oh, I forgot all about yee-yee.
Yeah.
Oh, man, what a wild show.
It's been a while since you guys shared any tidbits about how the sausage is made.
So could you share some experiences with outbursts from the audience and how you choose to handle them?
Dusty, you incorporated it really well.
But I felt bad for the flow of your jokes because it kept happening before your punchline.
Well, I mean, I do so many shows that that was a blast to me.
I was like, I've not.
I mean, like I wanted to do yee yee i can't even do
it well yee yee i'm hoarse i feel like but i used to i mean that show was so fun like somebody yelled
out yee yee i had never really heard yee yee before and i just it felt like every punch line i could
work a yee yee in there yeah and the audience loved it i mean a couple of times i got interrupted
uh by people yelling it out but i had
a blast so you did it most of the time well after the initial and then a couple people i mean there
was one time when i was doing a joke and someone interrupted the joke by doing it but it it worked
i even complimented them on it i was like that was a well-timed yee i mean it was so fun it was
one of the most fun shows i've had in a long time i mean
so you encourage more of this i mean i don't want it to happen all the shows but yeah that
particular show i was like let's keep this going i'm into this yeah yeah what and did someone just
yelled yee yee and that's how i got started i said um i you know i got some jokes about country
music and i was like i'm a big fan of country music. And so people clapped and cheered, and then somebody goes, yee-yee.
And I guess that's a country thing that people do.
I had not heard it.
I'm familiar with yee-haw, but not a lot of yee-yees.
I've never heard yee-yee.
And so that's what I talked about, how I wasn't really familiar with yee-yee.
And then I just kept bringing it back and i mean
it was a hit all right i mean coley escher enjoyed the show yeah felt bad for me but don't feel bad
for me we had a great time we had a great time yeah you had a great time uh supposedly i don't
know for sure but someone told me afterwards that i think that it could have been a fight that broke out. You know, I got an email this morning from someone who said,
was it the late show?
Yeah.
They apologized because they said his wife, her hair, I guess,
was hanging over the seat, the guy behind him.
And the guy put his knee on her hair to pin it against the chair.
Yeah.
And they got into a, not a the chair yeah and they got into a uh
not a fist fight but they got in a big argument yeah yeah that's what i heard so i sat in the
second show i watched the whole thing it was awesome to just sit in the crowd and watch
and i had a real out of character moment the guy in front of me he every joke you did he would turn
to his side and be like that's i would do that yeah like relating
to all your jokes but in an annoying way yeah and i had a really out of character moment i leaned
forward i grabbed the dude on the shoulder and i go enough whoa wow maybe that's what you heard
maybe that it felt awesome did his wife have long hair yeah eric is this what we're getting to it
was you i said enough dude and then i back, and I thought about the whole show.
Right when the show ended, I go, hey, sorry about that, man.
He was like, no, it's fine.
I told you Arizona's wild.
It's too hot.
It's just too hot out there.
There's not enough humidity.
You need some.
But I've never confronted anybody in a moment like that.
Do you think that guy even knew what you meant by enough?
I don't think I know.
He heard the tone of my voice.
He knew what was going on.
He knew he was misbehaving.
So he's relating to Nate's comedy and having a good time,
and you told him to stop.
But, you know, thousands of other people were doing that
without conversing about it right after the joke.
We needed you in the audience of the shows we did in Arizona.
Yeah, probably.
I would like, I had Aaron walk around just,
if people, if they laughed too loud, not high enough.
Right.
He would just keep them kind of at bay.
If they weren't really laughing, he's like, not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Up, up, up, up, up.
And then if they started laughing too loud, I'd go, what are we doing?
Aaron just grabs his shoulder. go, what are we doing? Aaron just grabs his shoulder.
Hey, what are we doing?
And if their hair was too long, he would just pin it to the chair.
Yeah.
Have you never called 911 before?
Not that I may.
I feel like maybe once.
For me?
Yeah.
No, I feel like maybe once.
I think I've had an accident maybe.
Yeah.
Like an accidentally call. Have you called it? Yeah, I've like maybe once. I think I've had an accident maybe. Yeah. Like an accidentally called.
Have you called it?
Yeah, I've called before.
How many times?
A bunch.
Probably four or five times now that I think about it.
What are you doing?
If I just see a car, if I see a car accident or-
Your gout flares up?
I've been in a few accidents where you're supposed to call 911 and tell them.
If you're on the side of the road.
Four or five times. Probably four or five times. I've called in a few accidents where you're supposed to call 911 and tell them if you're on the side of the road. Four or five times.
Probably four or five times.
I've called so many times.
Well, that's a trade-off.
I mean, that's like number three on the speed dial.
Yeah.
I would want to go, hey, Dustin.
It goes your grandmother, mom, 911.
That's your speed dial.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like that's yeah i mean
just all the time like how you know you see a fire you're like well i'll call it's like a fun
it's fun to be the one that calls where do you see a fire at just people's houses yeah you know
i mean like just driving our houses on fire one time we called 9-1-1 and it's a lot of fun just
making sure y'all heard about my sister have sister is diabetic. Have you honestly called it a lot?
Yeah, oh yeah.
My sister is real diabetic.
She used to go into these like weird kind of diabetic trances or whatever
and we would call, you know, we would have to call that 911.
They're like, anyone wants to come and like trance?
Give her some glucose.
Diabetic, oh, I don't know.
She's on one of her.
But she's just, you know.
She's on her diabetes dance right now.
She'd just be sitting there like staring off into space.
You couldn't get her to do anything.
Like, Margaret.
Margaret.
Call 911.
I's Dusty.
She's doing her dance.
She's doing her long stare
she's back at it
she's back at it
yeah she would
you know
she had a couple
of M&M's
set her off
I got a
I got a trail stick
yeah
little compass on the top
on stage
no no just you know
did you say compass
yeah little compass
on the top
that compass
yeah
C-O
comp that is how it's spelled I've never heard it pronounced that way though Did I say compass? Yeah, a little compass on the top. A compass? Yeah. C-O.
Comp.
That is how it's spelled.
I've never heard it pronounced that way, though.
Yeah, compass.
And not you guys.
I think the world.
That's how you say it?
Compass.
Compass. Compass.
Well, he does it.
I like to do a compass.
He's always a little.
He's a little.
Yeah.
That's Lebanon for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Like a little thing.
Yeah, we're related.
They do their own thing, yeah.
Yeah, compass.
Compass. Yeah. There's no... They do their own thing, yeah. Yeah, compass. Compass.
Yeah.
There's no, I don't think people, if you were,
if you were standing with a man that had only a compass in his hand
and you said, hand me that compass, I don't think he would guess what to do.
I think he would be confused and go, what?
And then you would be the compass, and you would have to point at it,
and it never would be talked about
and y'all would just leave and he would be like god am i crazy am i saying this wrong and then
would maybe start saying compass personally in his own life until he got ridiculed and then
yeah i mean i've this is the first i've encountered it i don't say compass a lot
out in the world but this is the first i've come it. I don't say compass a lot out in the world, but this is the first I've come across it.
Compass.
Yeah.
I don't, yeah.
That's like, it would, yeah.
I mean, I've just never heard it.
I'm not saying I'm right or wrong or whatever.
What about the word complain?
I guess that's see you.
Yeah, complain.
Not a complain.
Why are you complaining all the time?
Yeah, all right.
Why are you complaining?
What's another one?
Comcast. We don't do com. Come on. Come on over time? Yeah, all right. Why are you complaining? What's another one? Comcast.
We don't do com.
Come on.
Come on over here.
Yeah, come.
Just the word come.
You don't say come over here.
But that's got an E at the end.
Okay.
That's why I think the E makes it.
All right.
I got you.
Oh, yeah.
Comcast.
This is a language episode, I believe.
Yeah.
Ben Meehan.
Ben Meehan.
Meehan.
Meehan. Ben Meehan. Meehan. Meehan?
I recently convinced my wife to start listening to the podcast,
and she happened to be watching the malls episode this morning.
I overheard Aaron getting sappy about how malls bring everyone together,
yada, yada, yada.
I knew it sounded familiar.
I think what's still appealing about a mall is there's no other place
in American life where there's just
a cross section
where all different
types of people are in there.
I don't know if there's another place where you go and you just see
people all different background
faces.
I got it.
Oh, man.
It's America.
Everybody has to stop there.
I think that's still-
It looks, yeah.
Wow.
I mean, it's word for word almost.
It's unbelievable.
Some of these drinks should float.
Some of them should not.
You guys want to guess before we do it?
I'm betting diet floats.
I'm trying to think what I've dropped in a lake before.
And if you look at the cans, I think diet floats.
If you look at the cans, they're all the same size.
So if you're listening, what we've got on the table here is a tub full of water,
and in front of it, we've got four different caffeinated beverages.
Not necessarily caffeinated, but carbonated.
Diet Coke, Coke Zero, regular Coke, and then a Pepsi.
Wild Cherry.
Pepsi Wild Cherry. I meant to get regular Pepsi, and then a Pepsi. Wild Cherry. Pepsi Wild Cherry.
I meant to get regular Pepsi, but I grabbed it too fast.
So I don't know.
Wild Cherry might be a variable.
But do you want to try it, Nate?
I do enjoy a Wild Cherry Pepsi.
Now, I think that the Coke Zero and the Diet Coke are completely suspended.
Yeah.
Are they?
Yeah.
Okay.
The Coke, regular Coke is Dragon.
That's kind of floating.
If the bucket were deeper, we'd get a better illustration of this.
So Brian, why does the diet float in there?
Because it doesn't have sugar.
Sugar is denser than water, so regular soft drinks are denser than water,
but diet drinks are less dense than water,
so therefore they float.
I mean,
this is a good episode,
and that's going to be the end of it.
We saved up for that.
You know what it is?
It's the sugar inside of it.
Well, this was the physics for kids experiment
that they gave us.
Yeah.
This is how they're teaching the kids, and then when the experiment's over,
they go, crack these open, drink them.
I mean, I'm not saying I knew that.
It's like OJ with the glove, trying it on.
Always remember, people are listening.
I'm Nate.
Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay, and...
Another Dusty Slay. slay and another
dusty slay.
That's what I'm talking about.
Alright, we're having a good time.
We could use more of this.
Ash,
the sheriff hat, where'd you get that hat?
This is, it's not easy
being dusty, I've learned that.
Yeah.
The hat is, I can't even talk with this thing.
Hang on.
The hat is my second cousin, Terry Ash.
He was the sheriff in Wilson County for about 20 years.
Wow, that's a good hat.
From the mid-80s to the mid-2000s.
So the hat was the easiest part.
Yeah.
This beard riding up on my mouth here is the hard part the hair uh i had a brown wig but it was like a clam rock too long yeah i wish i'd have kept it
so my wife convinced me to take it back you kind of got the opposite color thing going i got the
darker beard and the lighter hair yeah which is the i think good yeah i think it's a nice uh yeah
a little yeah mismatch here.
Yeah.
Kind of works well.
So I took it back.
My wife convinced me to take it back and get a shorter wig.
How much money did that save you taking it back?
It saved me $250.
Okay.
This looks good on you.
I mean, I'm into this look.
The glasses were the hard part.
I texted Dusty.
I said, hey, where do you get your glasses?
He said at a thrift store.
I got my others at a thrift store, yeah.
I went to Goodwill.
Didn't have glasses. Got this shirt at Goodwill.
And then I went to another thrift
store. Could not find the glasses. Had to order these
online. It's the best I could do.
How much total all in? About $100.
Oh, really? Wow. That's
about right. That's about right. $100 to
the whole. Yeah. The glasses were like $30-something just for the shipping.
The shirt was $5.
You save the money by just getting a haircut once or twice a year.
Yeah.
A lot of savings comes in there.
I'm saying, okay, yeah.
So are you going to ask Nate to make a pitch for Nashville?
Well, 2026 is out, but maybe a future.
2030?
You know, if they come back that quick, I mean, we're in trouble.
If you pitch well enough.
It's already a bad start to this pitch.
Yeah.
What I'm saying, let's say you were sent to represent Nashville.
Well, I think when we go to.
All of us.
Yeah.
We should all go.
When we go, give us the World Cup in 2030 or you will be embarrassed.
You have 24 hours.
Nashville, a place you can drink.
Yeah.
Have you seen Broadway?
Give us the World Cup.
We won it on an off year.
You've been warned.
24 hours.
I'll give you 40 hours to respond.
Yeah, until sundown.
Yeah, until sundown.
I need an answer now or we're going to move on and we're going to get the Tour de France.
I'm going to go to the Tour de France and go, hi, I'm neighbor I guess.
Y'all running this bike race in France.
No one cares.
Come do it in America, Nashville.
You can either be with us or you can compete with us.
You have 24 hours.
And I'll go to every big sporting event.
Just keep threatening them.
You just keep threatening every one of them.
You know, I don't know what other, yeah.
I don't know what other sports are.
But pickleball.
Pickleball championship.
I'm Nate Bergens.
Bring it here or die.
Yeah.
We like pickleball, kind of, but I feel like we're going to love it.
So either be here now and grow it with us or be our competition.
We have 24 hours.
This will be a big day tomorrow.
There's a lot of, a lot of phone calls.
I'm making everybody crack your knuckles.
We're going to be at some respondents, some emails.
All right.
We love you all.
And Merry Christmas.
Happy new year.
And we will see you the first week of January.
All right. Bye.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.
Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.
Thanks for tuning in.
Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.