The Neighborhood Listen - Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

On the Season 5 finale, Burnt describes the pill-stocking catastrophe at his previous job, Joan does some career soul-searching, and Doug has found his new favorite word. Later, special guest Chris is upset that her Elmo doll won't act as advertised.Dreading the end of the season? Fear not, the monthly BONUS ROOM episodes continue on! They're exclusively available by signing up for the Maximus plan on cbbworld.com and subscribing to the AD-FREE feed. Stay tuned for season 6 news soon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Hello. This is a brief message to our loyal listeners. I'man pedestrian and i am burnt me a payday and before we begin and i'm we would start corn pedestrian okay doug thanks babe before we begin this week's episode we want to address something that happened in last week's episode yes on episode 5 11 of the neighborhoodhood Listen, we used a listener-submitted post as the

basis for our interview, and the post turned out to be a joke post that quoted liberally from the television sketch show, Sir, You Have to Leave, which neither Joan nor myself has ever seen. I have not watched any sketch comedy program since 2009. They just simply stopped being funny to me for some reason. And I do not like sketch comedy because the stories are too short. So when we were- And I think sketches are too silly. I mean, none of that would ever happen in your life. Okay, Doug. Okay, Doug. Okay. I'm just sorry. All right. I mean, that's kind of the point of, right. You know what? It's neither here nor there. I'm angry. I'm sorry. So when we, it's okay, babe.

We're all angry. So, all right. And sorry. Okay. Yeah. So when we – it's okay, babe. We're all angry. So, all right. And sorry. Okay, yeah. Just trying to get through this. So when we contacted the person who posted this fraudulent item on the neighbor app, a man calling himself Pauly Coca-Cola, we had no idea we were being catfished. Is it? Is that not the – Is it a catfish?

Is that what you call it? I mean, I feel catfished. I mean, I certainly felt tricked and violated. I thought that was catfish? Is that what you call it? I mean, I feel catfished. I mean, I certainly felt tricked and violated. I thought that was catfish. Is there more to it? I think that's definitely part of catfishing. Maybe. I'm getting more.

I thought that was more of a relationship kind of thing. Well, when I think of how I feel, somehow catfish just seemed to really sum it up. I feel catfished. Let's say catfish. Anyways, conned, catfished. It wasn't great, people. It wasn't great. We know our listeners look to us for interviews with real people who are not fake, and we regret having been duped in this manner.

Now, the listener who submitted the post claims to have been unaware that the post was quoting liberally from the show, It's Time for You to Leave, and we take them at their word. However, we have asked our social media director, Allison, to conduct a thorough internal investigation. Allison has not yet returned our calls. But again, we at The Neighborhood Listen regret the error. Was I supposed to do it with you? Sorry, can we go again? Not really. I mean, it's not supposed to be like the Pledge of Allegiance.

It was just, okay. We regret the error. I think it's just all three of us regret it. So we should all say it. Yeah, I regret it. We do, but I mean, it's... I'm scared. I think the we covers that. I don't think we all have to say it at the same time. Okay. I just forgot my cue. That's all.

No, I don't think you were ever supposed to do it, Joan. It was... This was Doug's idea. Okay. Sorry. It was, it was, this was Doug's idea. Okay. Sorry. It was my idea, but you make the call. Right. What was your idea, babe?

His idea was that, I suppose his idea was that we all say we regret the error at the same time, which is, I think, a little strange. And I think it detracts from the message. And I think if I say we, I'm clearly speaking on behalf, we don't, I think we're getting in the weeds here and we should, we're so close to the end. I know. And I really, I think I just, we're so sorry. You know, we're just so sorry that, you know, whether or not we're saying it all at the same time

or individually, we do regret the error. So you're right. Let's just dust ourselves off, pick ourselves up. I don't know if that's the phrase. And now, as they say in my avocation, on with the show. And us. Burn. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. And welcome once more to The Neighborhood Listen. Joan, would you like to explain what the neighborhood listen is?

Oh, I'd love to hear on our last episode of the season. Well, yes, of the season. Oh, goodness. Yes. No, we're going to do so many of these. We're never going to stop. We're never going to stop. No, we'll do this.

We'll do them without a microphone, without recording. We'll just sit here and pretend if no one wants it. We'll do it for ourselves. That sounds demented. What we do here is we take posts from the neighbor app uh people post about all sorts of different things we bring in those people or the people who are posted about we get to know them a little bit better just getting to know our neighbors and our neighbors of course are the people in dignity falls yes which is where we are and am Joan Pedestrian and I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls for now. And this is

Burt Me A Payday. I'm Burt Me A Payday. I am the pharmacist-in-chief at the Dignity Falls Massey, the brand new pharmacy here in Dignity Falls. I think this was one of the biggest developments of this season

was that you moved from your CVS. How long were you at the CVS? Oh, I was at the CVS for years. Yeah, years. It was my first job out of college i started as a pill stalker yes i wasn't even a pharmacist then and i don't believe they even have that that that position has been eliminated that's replaced by a robot of course of course yes uh and that robot malfunctioned recently. It went on a rampage.

Oh. Like against humans? Yes. Oh, God. Yes, yes, yes. And there was like smoke coming out of it and sparks. Oh, no. It broke a lady's arm.

Oh, my word. You'd think it wouldn't have been given that strength as they were just dealing with very light pillboxes. i know and of course but you know stocking pills is a very delicate uh operation you know what i mean so but again that requires fine motor skills not breaking a bone do you know what lord here's what i think happened i think some of the pills got crushed and got inside the workings of the robot and made it go crazy that seems that seems wild but it does seem wild doesn't it do you have a robot at the falls macy uh no we have what we have is oh it's one of the things i'm not crazy about okay it's it's charming but it does add more work it's a sort of rube goldberg contraption okay where there's all these

things have to happen and then the pills go down a chute and they go one by one into the bottle well that yes that seems like a lot of to fill one bottle it takes like a full day well you know and this and that actually might go away because if any it just to remind everyone in the fallacy it's brand new and it's sort of a it's sort of a well really it's just a catch-all there's so many different things it's a how many how many stories high is it is it 30 five stories high five stories 30 i was thinking 30 feet it's you're thinking the branch in dubai oh yes i am i am uh and it's got a waterfall in the center you can uh there's a dry bar on the bottom uh you can also mail uh packages uh there's a notary public uh notary public um portrait studio but portrait studio. Portrait studio. Caricature studio.

Boy, that was a mistake. Well, this is the thing. The false Missy is trying out a lot of different things. It's right next to the portrait studio. And I mean, people go in there to get their pictures taken, passports and stuff like that. And then the character, who would go? Well, and then there have been some mistakes where they needed their passport, but it was just a caricature of them.

And they, people haven't been able to leave the country. No, they get turned away at the airport. They do. And, and so, and I would never do it because I'm so sensitive about my weird ears. I, now I don't think your ears are that weird. And I think that in some, some people might find them charming. Maybe every single time. Well, I mean't think your ears are that weird. And I think that in some, some people might find them charming.

Maybe every single time. Well, I mean, fool me once. I did it three times, mostly for the kids, because we'd be at a fair or something like the carnival. And then we'd have, Doug loves the caricatures. He loves it. He loves them. He loves them.

Oh, by the way, Doug, my husband, our engineer. Hey, babe, where are you? Hey, I'm in the lazy room. What's the lazy room? It's my lazy day. Oh, but we are, where are you? Hey, I'm in the lazy room. What's the lazy room? It's my lazy day. Oh, but you are recording the podcast, right? Yes. Okay.

I am recording. He didn't realize we had one scheduled today. He was all ready to do his lazy day. Well, thank you for recording on your lazy day. Luckily, he's in the lazy room. What do you do in the lazy room on your lazy day, Doug? As little as humanly possible. Makes sense.

So, I'm in the supine position your lazy day as little as humanly possible makes sense so i'm in the supine position oh well yes he just uh that was uh he learned that on um it was on jeopardy the other night and he just keeps saying it supine keeps trying to jam it into a conversation yeah he's like hey can you hand me that supine toothbrush that's on the counter? Put a plate of food down in front of him. Oh, supine. And it is confusing because, you know, one of my very good friends is supine. I know.

How is she doing? She's not great. Did her hair grow back? On one side. Oh, only on the one side? Yes. That's a style the one side? Yes. That's a style. It is a style.

It's true. Poor supine. You know, there was a girl I went to high school with who did that. And it was like so dramatic. Because nobody did it back then. Oh, you mean shaved half of her head? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Uh-huh. And I thought it was very exciting. head yes okay yes and i thought it was very exciting and she i thought and she almost she they couldn't really give her trouble for it like violating dress code or anything right right but you know they wanted to of course but it was a very bold maneuver the end of story anecdote complete now i'm a robot oh but speaking of robots I was saying that they're trying so many

different things at the Falzmasie that I think that some of these things are going to fall away they tried a lot of extra things in the sort of the opening weekend

there is the Rube Goldberg one yes for a minute which I you know there's a window so the kids can watch it yes and it's fun for them

but it's not practical they also tried almost like a like a what is it a sushi conveyor belt with the pills you know

with the as they came out but then of course everyone was grabbing ones that didn't belong pills, you know, as they came out. But then, of course, everyone was grabbing ones that didn't belong to them. I know. And then they put that behind glass and they had, this lasted a day. They had sort of Lucy and Ethel impersonators

where the pill conveyor belt was getting ahead of them. Well, I went in for that. I went in for that. I auditioned for that. No, don't. I was very mad. I didn't get, I rehearsed. You could ask Doug.

You should be thrilled because they forgot to switch out for prop pills. And both of them had a terrible day. Let me just put it that way. Just stuffing Xanax in their cheeks. That's right. And internal bleeding. Yes. that's right and internal bleeding yes well i mean i'm i i'm not happy to hear that because you know a professional should have

been doing it but whatever they didn't do the research it's fine no do you think that would have made a difference well um yes because i honestly think that if you if you do your research you know that what the props should look like. And then you've probably practiced you. I would have asked for take home practice pills, right? Uh, just like you use a rehearsal skirt or you wear high heels. If you want, if you're going to be wearing high heels in a show, uh, I would have, I would have rehearsed, which is what actors say when they have a request for rehearsal. Yes.

I have a rehash. I would have rehearsed for for practice pills, prop pills. Yeah. You know. So I think they'll probably get rid of that Rube Goldberg situation, which sounds terribly annoying. I mean, we've all lobbied for it, but the owner is eccentric. Without a doubt.

Do we know how he got his money yet? There are a lot of theories. Yes, there's a lot of rumors. One is that he found it. Found it, okay. Just are a lot of theories yes there's a lot of rumors one is that he found it uh found it okay just found a bunch found it just found a pile of money just found a pile of money like a money cave if you're familiar with those oh well we almost built one here doug really wanted one oh sure well who wouldn't of course you just sort of like get to go down there and imagine that he was going to put gold bars down there. You know, fake gold bars.

Some real, some fake. Like a dragon's hoard you roll around in it. Yeah, like a treasure. Like treasure. Yeah. Like the desolation of Smaug. Yes. Rolling around on gold bars is not as fun as it looks.

No. No, no, no. None of them move at all. Those should just be, you know, there for sort of decoration. You know what I mean? But the pile that you roll around in should be cash. Yes. Coins.

Yes. Maybe some precious gems. Precious jams. I still haven't seen it. Well, you mentioned Uncut Jams earlier and I still haven't seen it. Joan, I would say keep it up. Keep up the good work.

Okay. You really weren't a fan. No. Okay. Didn't see the point. I heard it was very stressful, Joan. Oh, I don't like stressful movies. That's what everybody says. I just hate stressful movies. I saw it after people. I heard it was very stressful, Joan. Oh, I don't like stressful movies.

That's what everybody says. I just hate stressful movies. I saw it after people warned me that it was stressful. And then when it started, I thought, this is not real. Who cares? Why should I be stressed out? What a wonderful way to take yourself out of the reality and calm yourself down. Well, if somebody's telling you, yeah, you're going to be so stressed watching it.

It's like, well, not me because that's not a real person. I just can't stand like all those sort of like, you early comedies well early i guess 90s cut word you know there was just one disaster after another oh now the roof is on fire now the cat i think i'm mostly just thinking of meet the parents with the money pit all the money that was an unpleasant movie starts out really funny then yes it just gets unfun. Yeah. Really unfun. Yeah. The duplex. The duplex. Never saw that one. Why did I see it? I don't know why movies want us to be so stressed.

I don't understand. I mean, I guess the idea of laughing at someone else's stress is funny, but is it that funny? What's your favorite movie, Bernt? Of all time? Yes. Somebody open a window?

Oh, babe. I was taking my thinking breaths. You know, I wanted to like One Hour Photo because it's at the pharmacy, but it's not very... Very dark, am I correct? It's very dark pharmacy but it's uh it's not very dark am i correct it's very dark i've never seen it my favorite movie um

i really didn't mean to stump you do you need to take another thinking but there you go yeah would you like me to open a window? I'd get up, but I can't. Well, you just don't want to. I mean, of course you could get up. No, you have to take ownership of the laziness and say, I could get up, but I'm not going to. That's true. Because it's not lazy if I can't. Yes.

I mean. So I really want to. Well, are you able? Is something holding you down? Is this like the situation where you were stuck in the gym with your T-ball bat? No, I've never understood the physics of either way. Joan, I'm right there with God. I wanted to understand.

I could not grasp. I just don't even understand why you need to work out with a T-ball apparatus. It just doesn't seem in a small room. Anyway, my favorite movie is The Taking of Pelham 123. I'm sorry, which one? The Taking of Pelham 123. The Taking of Pelham.

The original. I don't know this movie. It's a movie about, it's a movie about a subway heist. Really? Yes. Okay. That's right, Walter Matthau was in it.

Matthau. Is that how you say it? I'm not sure. I think it's Matthau. I've never heard of Matthau. But maybe if it's dramatic, he probably asked for it to. Walter Matthau was in it. Matthau. Is that how you say it? I'm not sure. I think it's Matthau. I've never heard it out loud. But maybe if it's dramatic, he probably asked for it to be pronounced Matthau in that one movie. Do you think that's the more dramatic pronunciation?

I think so. Matthau. I think Walter Matthau is sillier. Yeah. It did make me laugh when I said it. And Walter Matthau, all of a sudden I'm picturing him being handed an Academy Award. I've never heard it out loud before. Ever?

Never. I guess it doesn't come up in conversation that often. It really doesn't. So is this like a 70s disaster kind of movie? Not a disaster, but a thriller. A thriller, a thriller, sure. Yes, yes, yes. Well, okay.

Here's what I like about it as a pharmacist. Okay. That eventually a criminal is caught because of a sneeze. Really? Yes. Oh, boy's would you see that that would you say that that really is that what what sparked the interest when you went or were you already a pharmacist when you saw this no you couldn't have been i was no no i saw this when i was a kid maybe that's what made me a pharmacist that's what i'm asking was it okay joan i'm sorry about that yeah i don't know where that came from i think you're lightheaded from all of your think breaths

it's possible it's possible i hope it's not doing lasting damage to me doing those think breaths well uh i'm gonna have to we're gonna have to check it out bae we're gonna have to watch it hey real real quick joan you said uh in in intro, you said you're the top realtor in Dignity Falls for now. What did that mean? Oh, well, it just meant that, I mean, if you've been following this season, you know that I've been through sort of a lot, sort of a sort of come to Jesus or whoever you believe in moment. I've really had sort of some struggles because as people know, I've been very, I'm feeling edged out by these realty shows,

realty reality shows like selling sunset and, and all of these examples that we never mentioned. Well, there's another one that's called OC Realty, I think, or something like that. Something in Southern California. And also, I do mean I had mentioned Joanna Gaines before. There's all these other people. Of course, I thought of Joanna Kearns. Yes, as always.

I'm thinking of Chris Gaines. Oh, Chris Gaines! When is he going to make a problem? God, where did he go? Oh, is that the sort of a, is that, is that Garth Brooks's sort of a alter ego?

That's his Mr. Hyde. That was a weird period, wasn't it? How odd. But you know what? You gotta, good for him. Yeah,

why not? Why not? But yes, I, I, I, I feel like realty's now been put, it's sort of been Hollywoodized, you know?

And I thought that I had to maybe join the club and start my own, shoot my own realty pilot. That's right. Which I was going to do. And then I thought maybe I need to look like these very attractive women. I was going to get a total face change. And we know that my gentleman here, my husband.

Are you going to call him your gentleman friend? Can you remember my name? That's got to happen sometimes, right? If you're married, you blank on your spouse's name. I was going to say my boys, but that felt weird, you know, because it's you and Doug. And that's what I call my boys. I mean, that's what I call my actual sons, Matt and. Radiophonic.

Yes. And so that's all I was my actual sons, Matt and... Radiophonic. Yes. And so that's all I was going to say. They convinced me anyways. They convinced me that that was not something that they wanted. They didn't want me to have a completely different face. Your reaction was very strong, I have to say. I really didn't expect it. Well, Joan, if a friend of yours said, much less your wife or your mother says, I'm going to have an operation called a total face change, it's alarming.

And you don't want somebody that you care about to have a total face change. I get it. I have to say, I was very touched by that. I really was. I do think we put too much emphasis on looks, you know, because it made me realize that, you know, that, or wait, maybe we do because you didn't want me to change my looks, but maybe, maybe it may, what I'm saying is I think I needed to look better. It made me realize that we don't tell each other that we like each other's faces. There you go.

That's what I was saying. Doug is saying what I couldn't. So that we don't want you to change your face. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh, so, so, uh, at this point now I am, uh, I still feel like I need to switch your face. Yes. Yes, yes. So, so, at this point now,

I am, I still feel like I need to switch into sort of the role of mentor. So there's a, there's a lot of, there's a lot of young people who moved in this year

to become, who they've rushed into town to become realtors. Yeah. Because we've had sort of a real, a lot of people have left town. Yes.

And we don't know why yet. No. But there's been a great exodus. There's been a strange exodus in Dignity Falls. No one is saying why. There's all these empty houses. Yes. And so a lot of people.

And all these people coming in. And all these people coming in. Maybe it has something to do with the podcast. I don't know. Do we have that far a reach? Babe, didn't you say that people listen to us in a bunch of different countries? Oh, yeah. Estonia's number nine? I don't know. Do we have that far a reach? Babe, didn't you say that people listen to us in a bunch of different countries? Oh, yeah. Estonia is

number nine, I believe. We're number nine in Estonia? Well, that's flattering. What did you know? It really is. Who's ahead of us? I want to know. We did have a couple weeks there where we never got sunlight. I'm sorry? Yeah, I remember that.

I wonder if that has something to do with... That was earlier in the year. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was scary. It was scary. And we don't do the time change here. No, no.

If anything, sometimes we won't change months. That is true. We'll just say it's still March. We reserve the right to say it's still March. That started as an old thing where nobody wanted to, you know, the old thing where like, oh, I wrote a check and I just keep on writing the old year.

Yeah. And then it changed to the old month. And then people really, there was a big protest about it. That's right. People just didn't want to change months. That was a bloody protest. And people were trampled by horses.

Yes, they were. But not, and wild horses. They were trampled by horses. Yes, they were. But not wild horses. They weren't like police horses. How did they get there? Do you think they were summoned by the noise? I mean, the police horses were so confused. They were so confused. Those poor horses. Poor police horses. Why are they still around?

Truly. In the capacity in which they're still around you know they should be set free yes exactly yes not put down no although hey cab ahab um so i yeah the darkness i think a lot of people connected it to the incident which is so long ago. I don't see how they could be connected, but that's right. I don't know.

It was a strange occurrence. It was, it really was. Yeah. It was pitch black. And that's how Sue Pine lost her hair. No. During that,

during the darkness. That's what caused it. I thought you knew. No, I didn't know. Oh yeah. Okay. Was it the result of the darkness or the result of the lights coming back on?

Well, that's when we noticed the hell was gone. Yes. I mean, that's what it was. So it must have happened during the darkness. So, you know, at this point, there's a lot of people coming in, but they're young and they're green. They don't know what they're doing. They need help writing up descriptions of houses. They need help putting the signs up. I mean,

they don't even know how to put the signs up properly. They probably don't even have chocolate chip cookie recipes. They don't have chocolate chip cookie recipes. And so I, I figure maybe at this point I can start, you know, like I said, I've started a company, which is called, um, hot realty summer, hot realtor girl summer um hot realty summer hot realty girl summer hot realtor summer realty company realty company do you regret that name i sure do especially number one because i can never remember it right which is um very embarrassing you refuse to look at your buck's lips. I do. And so maybe I'm just turning over a new leaf. Okay.

I'm not sure. I think those young people could not ask for a better mentor than Joan Pedestrian. That's very, very kind. Well, it's the truth. I really appreciate it. And so we'll just see. You know, we have no idea what the new year holds for me. We know I'm not going to be an improviser. Ah, yeah.

Yeah. Because I tried that. I tried improvising songs the christmas cabaret and it went very poorly i blame your sons more for that it is true they only they only when they shouted over everybody with very dirty suggestions um but uh but that's okay you know um i could i could uh i could try again but you know what there's a lot of improv and realty which i I didn't even realize. Boy, that's true, isn't it? Because you do have to think on your feet. You absolutely do. Because people ask you questions, and you have to lie to them.

Well, I mean, I don't like to say that I lie. Embellish, I think. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. Or if they find a problem, you have to put a positive spin on it. That's right. Yes. Yes, the wiring is very old. It's classic.

It's classic. It has character. So we'll just see. I don't know. All right. Well, Joan, It's classic. It has character. So, we'll just see. I don't know. All right. Well, Joan, I wish you the best of luck. Wait a minute. That's what you say to the guests. I know. Usually when we think they're crazy. I know, which is every time.

All right, but I think you're going to be great. Should we go to a break? I think we should. All right. We will be back with a guest when the Neighborhood Listen returns. Hi there, it's Rosalie. I got a 10-ounce bag of 2-inch green rubber bands. That's right, and I'm charging $8 for them. I am not, to repeat, I'm not giving this Ziploc bag here full of green rubber bands, I'm not giving it away for free. Are you kidding me? Do you know how many years it took to collect and gather and save all of these green rubber bands and then keep them hidden from my husband?

You are crazy. If you think that I'm going to just let you have them. I mean, I'm sorry that this picture is out of focus and fuzzy. I didn't have a lot of time. My husband was at home and I had to take it out and take a picture so you guys could see it. And then I had to put it back right away so that he didn't see them because he doesn't want to see them. If he sees them, oh boy, oh boy. It's just hard on him because, you know, I think he's just jealous that I have hobbies. So, but I'm going to get rid of this one. And so if you don't already have a whole bunch of rubber bands, just more than you can deal with in your junk drawer, if you don't have that, then feel free to come pay me money for rubber bands that everyone gets

surrounding a local newspaper that gets delivered to their door every day. If you want to just have them on your own, well, get ready. Get ready for a life, a 20-year sentence of collecting them and hiding them from a man who never followed a dream. Come get them. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. We have a guest here, as we always do. We scour the NeighborHap, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We look for interesting posts so we can talk to the people

and get to know our neighbors better. And if you see a post that maybe we've missed, you can screenshot it and send it to us. Send it to us. Why don't you screenshot it and send it to us sometime?

Oh, gosh, you got to take it. I would say take a deep breath. Oh, what? Mortal Mae West? You can take a screenshot and send it to us at burtandjoneatgmail.com and we will read it on the show. This one comes to us from Chris.

This is in the for sale and free department. And Chris writes, I just got a chicken dance Elmo on eBay. And while it appears to be in good shape, it doesn't do the chicken dance. You press his left toe. to be in good shape, it doesn't do the chicken dance. You press his left toe, and he announces that he's about to do the chicken dance, but then he doesn't

do it. Cute toy for kids who are into Elmo and don't have high expectations. Easy foyer pickup in West Dig on Sequoia Street. Please let me know which day and time you can come pick it up, and I'll leave it out for you. I don't know how to take photos with my cell phone,

so I'm just posting a pic of me. And then it's a very pleasant pic of this nice looking old lady. And that's Chris. And we have Chris right here in the studio today. Chris, how do you do? I'm okay. I'm doing okay.

Okay. Did you ask me that? Yes. I asked you how you're doing. Yes. Okay. I was, I didn't,, I asked you how you're doing. Yes, okay. I wasn't sure if you said how or what, but I'm doing okay. You thought maybe he said, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing?

Oh, okay. Are you asking me what am I doing? No, I thought maybe he was asking me what I was doing. Oh, boy, this is a real who's on first moment happening. Second base. Is that how that works? It's pretty close. I think so.

You were just a base off uh chris um well first of all and i see that you brought the um the elmo yeah i think we even heard it doing the chicken dance um for a minute there but uh i i i first want to know um if you don't know how to take a picture with your cell phone i am surprised that you were able to upload a photo onto the that would be to me that's actually more complicated than just taking a picture with your cell phone i am surprised that you were able to upload a photo onto the that would be to me that's actually more complicated than just taking a photo with your phone so or just searching for a picture of chicken dance elmo you know what that would have been worth that that would have been worked it's allowed yeah how do you do that how do you search for an image how

do you search for an image what What he just said? Yes. Yes, you type a thing you want to see a picture of into the search bar. Okay, I'm already lost. No. Oh, come on now. I don't know how phones work. Chris, how would you get onto the neighbor app? My son helped me. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, that's very sweet. What's his name? Andrew. Okay. And is that your only child? Yes. He doesn't talk to me anymore. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's very sweet. What's his name? Andrew. Okay. And is that your only child? Yes. He doesn't talk to me anymore. Oh, no.

Wait, he helped? He just recently helped you? That was the last thing we did together. No. What happened? Oh, we got into a big fight. I was just so angry that I didn't like the way he was talking to me and telling me how to do it. He's like, you can do this on your own.

And I got so mad. But wait a minute. This doesn't sound like one of those sort of penultimate fights that just make you never speak again. I mean, he's going to talk to you again, right? I don't know. We have so many fights. This is our, this is our,

this childhood in my adulthood. Maybe. Was there more to that? Or just his, you said his childhood in my adulthood. And then Was there more to that? You said his childhood and my adulthood and then what? Full stop. When he was a child we fought. Now I'm an adult. Oh, I see. Fighting has been his childhood

and all of your adulthood. I think this is the way we communicate. Oh, dear. I bet he'll be back. How old is he now? He's 39. And is his father still in the picture? Is it okay to ask? I said he'll be back. How old is he now? He's 39. 39? And is his father still in the picture? Is it okay to ask? I said he was my child. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. No, you're right. I'm a woman. No, never mind. I'm a woman. I got confused. Listen, in the picture, the picture did look like what we weren't sure,

and you present it as, you let us know. You look exactly you present it as you let us know. You look exactly like the picture. You let us know. The reason, listen, I'll be honest about everything. A lot of people just think I'm a man when I go out in public. Really? Is that right?

Yeah, I'm a very handsome woman. Okay. You are a very handsome woman. Like Glenn Close. Isn't that what they always say about her? Is it? Yes, especially when she played Albert Dobbs. Yes.

Oh, right. I love that movie. Wonderful movie. Oh, that might edge out to taking a poem. One, two, three. Oh, really? Oh, my goodness. Oh, I love that movie with Denzel Washington.

Oh, no, the original with Walter Matthau. Walter Matthau? Yes. What a dramatic person. Walter Matthau. If you're only familiar with it. Exactly. I know.

It really is. Now, what happens if I say to you, Walter Matthau? Oh. Works like a know. It really is. Now, what happens if I say to you, Walter Matthau? Oh. It works like a charm. That's hilarious. I've never heard it pronounced like that. Amazing. All right.

So, to be clear, can I ask about his dad now? Sure. Okay. Is he still in the picture? Yes. Oh, okay. He's a traveling salesman. Really?

Yes. What does he sell? Pillows. Okay. He travels around and salesman. Really? Yes. What does he sell? Pillows. Okay. He travels around and sells pillows. It's amazing. It's such an old-fashioned job. Yes.

He's been doing it since we met. Door to door? How does he do it? Door to door. What? He knocks on door. Yes. Right.

No. Does he sell a lot? I mean, is this? Not, no. But I can't tell him to stop. He has nothing. Oh, no. Like, it'll be bad.

He has nothing. Nothing. I mean,, it'll be bad. He has nothing? Nothing. I mean, he has you and Andrew. Oh, he has me and Andrew. Okay. How often do you see him? My husband or Andrew? Well, right now we know you don't see Andrew.

How often do you see your husband? What's his name? My husband's name is Charles. Okay. Charles. Charles. Am I doing that right? Perfect.

Charles. Charles. Charles. Yes. He's so interesting to me. He's really, I love him. He's one of the most fascinating human beings I've ever met. Charles. Yes. He's so interesting to me. He's really, I love him. He's one of the most fascinating human beings I've ever met. Wow. It makes him so fascinating.

In addition to having this archaic job. And this incredible pronunciation of his name. That name, yes. He's just a great storyteller. I can sit and be enwrapped with Charles telling stories about most anything.

Oh, wow. He has a very booming voice. Oh, my. We must make him a great salesman. Yes, he knocks on the door. Can I imitate my husband? Please, of course. Please do the spiel.

It's allowed. I don't know what's allowed anymore. We've had all kinds on this show. This time of day. This time of day. This time of day that we're all living in. It's 9 a.m. Is it 9 a.m.? Yes. Oh time of day that we're all living in. It's 9 AM. Is it 9 AM?

Yes. Oh well, I've been up for hours. She could have been midnight by now. Oh my goodness. I don't know. I don't know. Well given that we had that darkness a while ago. So I mean who knows.

It was scary. It was scary wasn't it? God, that woman got her head shaved halfway. Supine. Supine. Supine. Wonderful. Lovely word. Did you see it on Jeopardy this week? Yes! My husband ducked it! Are you kidding me?

I'm it right now. You supine. The whole category was supine. I'll take supine for a thousand. All the answers. And then he wanted to be able to then go in the room and then you know have the answer be something where you'd have to ask what is doug you know like and that that would be it was just supine i felt like that that category i i don't feel like it had enough

for you know how what is it like eight clues six six clues? Right. I remember the host saying, if you are supine, if you are laying this way, what is down? Supine? What about that? If you're laying up, it's face up. Well, what about the video jeopardy? Are you pardoned?

Oh, yeah, what was the video jeopardy? What was it again? Oh, it was just some woman saying, I am supine right now. And you have to say, who is Victoria Principal? I don't know. Who is she doing? That one was wild.

That one was wild. That was for $5,000. I will say, I knew who it was. I knew who she was. I watched Alice. Sure. The one where it was just a body in a casket.

That was grim. And said, what is dead? I'd never seen this on Jeopardy before. They removed it from the board. They said, that one doesn't count. It's a do-over. Everybody gets a hundred. It's a Jeopardy do-over.

And the Daily Double was who this person lost their hair in Dignity Falls during the darkness. And the answer was, again, Supine. That's right. And nobody got it. Nobody got it. I got it at home. Of course. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Of course. Screaming at the TV. Oh my goodness. Screaming

at the TV. I do feel Chris, we're getting off track. Yeah, I want to get that spiel from your husband. Oh, my husband. When he knocks on the door. Booming boy. Yes. Charles. Charles. Is anybody home?

And then someone usually, he has to do it again because no one answers. No one does it. I know. Who does this anymore? No one answers. Also, if I heard that,

I'd be terrified. Am I being visited by the first ghost? Yes. I didn't think I was that bad. I need to be taught a lesson. It was appropriate in the 50s when he did that. That's a long time ago.

It is. But it's a blink of an eye. It's sad to think people in the 50s were just slaves to the phone, to the doorbell. And Eisenhower. You could not. And Eisenhower. And the what? And Eisenhower.

And Eisenhower. We were all slaves to Eisenhower we were all too young but I was a slave to Eisenhower I found him very sexy is that weird to say he was a war hero I'm not sure I could say if it's weird to say bald heads

you liked Ike I liked Ike excuse me Chris are you okay I feel never better alright let's get back to the spiel

so how does it go again is anybody home that's my husband's voice eventually they answer the door they say hello hello I am

Charles do you need pillows everyone needs them and he'll just talk until they stop him doesn't even let them answer if they need pillows. I would imagine they would say no, because most people have pillows

in the home. No, and he sticks his foot in the door so they can't close it. Oh my goodness. His foot is not working well because it's been slammed on so many times. That's tough. Anyway, he just tells a story and they become so enwrapped by it. What's the story that he tells? Anything. The history of pillows? Yeah, we'll go into pillows. This is why you need pillows.

If you have headaches, and who doesn't? Oh, well. Especially in this time. Sure. Who doesn't have headaches? Do you need pillows? Everybody does. Do you have headaches?

Of course you do. And then he tells the story, the history of headaches. The history of headaches. Do we know who the first person was to have a headache? Charles does. The very first person. It was a woman. We know that. It was a woman named Gloria. The very first person. It was a woman. We know that. It was a woman

named Gloria. A woman named Gloria. She was a Roman. Do you know they never had headaches before the Roman. Not until the Roman Empire. No. There was nothing to upset anybody about. But then they got lead in their water and everyone was upset. Absolutely. And Gloria got a headache.

Those damn aqueducts. Those damn aqueducts. Those damn aqueducts. Now, Chris, okay, let me, I mean, there's so many things, but. Oh, I forgot. So, Andrew set up this post for you. I have to ask you, was there any mention on the eBay listing that the chicken dance Elmo did not work? No, it said it absolutely worked.

Well, did you try to get a refund? I did. It said it absolutely worked. Well, did you try to get a refund? I did. It said it absolutely works. It absolutely, I think. And I would say that if something says it absolutely works, 100% it doesn't. That sounds like someone. They used the word absolutely three times.

And the third times it was capitalized. Oh dear. But not every letter. They chose like random letters like to say absolutely. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. So sorry. And then did you contact the seller? Why did you buy it?

Did you buy it for a while? Why did you buy that? Thank you. Thank you for finally taking an interest. What? Finally. Come on. I think that's unfair, Chris.

Maybe. Wait, are you saying that to me that I'm finally taking an interest? Yes, to anybody in the room. Oh, we've been asking you questions, Chris. All we've been doing is that's unfair, Chris. Maybe. Wait, are you saying that to me, that I'm finally taking an interest? Yes, to anybody in the room. We've been asking you questions, Chris. All we've been doing is asking you questions, Chris. We let you have a whole moment about Eisenhower. We didn't think we should interrupt.

This is why my son and I fight. I didn't want to hear that. This is why my son and I fight. You didn't want to hear about Eisenhower? Oh, I think he just means those sounds at the end. Yes. Oh. Excuse me.

I am drenched. Chris. Chris. Sorry. I'm sorry. Children might listen to this. I'm sorry for the children. I am too. Children turn off. So please explain. Children turn off.

Turn off right now. Children turn off. I love that song. Children turn off that's what they the tiffany's yes the tiffany's song that was the original alone now i think we're alone now oh i thought you were doing like turn on your heart what is that song oh the wonderful neil diamond song about et that wonderful unlicT. tribute from Neil Diamond. Don't you wish Neil Diamond Yes, no one asked him

to do that. No one. I wish Neil Diamond did a song for every movie and was never asked. Absolutely. Any movie. Harry and the Hendersons.

This is another term of my endearment. Only 80s movies though. Only 80s movies. Oh, we're out of Africa. Like he went into a we're out of Africa. Like he went into a store and asked for Africa and the person said, oh, we're

out of Africa. And of course so many of the Bond ones are like that but the Octopussy song did not have the word in it, but it really should have. What was the song? I think it was Oh Now I Can't Remember because you asked me, Chris. Was it called Squid Dick?

Squid Dick. Burnt! Babe, can you look it up? Is that All Time High? That's it. We're in All Time High. Was that Sheena or was it Laura Branigan? It was Rita Coolidge. Laura Branigan. I don't think she did a Bond theme.

I do miss her. Did she do Don't Cry Out Loud? No, that's Melissa Manchester. She did Gloria. Oh, she did Gloria. Wasn't that the woman from the Roman Empire? Yes, it was! The one about the headache! Oh my god! We need to look up the lyrics. I didn't know there was a history song.

Wait, do you mean T-L-O-R-I-A? No. Absolutely not. That's them. Oh, that's one of Rhubarb CaravanI-A? No. No. Absolutely not. I don't know what that is. That's them. Oh, that's one of Rhubarb Caravan's set list? Yeah. It's a classic. Oh, that's Doug's band. That's my husband's band.

Was Gloria actually a song about a headache? I'm not sure. Gloria, I think I've got your number. Gloria. If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody calling? Because she has a headache. She asked them not to. And she's in the Roman Empire and they don't have phones.

I'm not sure. Well, okay. Perhaps. Chris, you've cracked it. Chris, I really want to know why you wanted this Elmo. Yes. Look, I'm in a book club. Can I say that? All right. Yes. These are not controversial things. Let's see how these connect. I'm very concerned that I started it.

Oh, you started the book club? I did. But you say it like you started a fire. Very apologetically, you said I started it and I'm very concerned. Oh, you started the book club? I did. But you say it like you started a fire. You said very apologetically you said I started it. Well, I just feel like book clubs are, this is why, I think book clubs are things that people say they want to be in and then when someone starts

it, they're like, it's a bummer for everyone. Everyone gets annoyed. I'm an adult and now I have homework. Yes. And then we talk about it. And no one has read it and I have homework. Yes. And then we talk about it. And no one has read it and you try to fake it. And then we have to have cheese. But I was losing people and I was losing people and I was like, I got to get this to be more entertaining. So I was looking. So I thought I'd order.

I thought, well, maybe if we got some Elmo chicken dance. Okay, now wait a minute. Did you go straight? It was the very first dance. Okay, now wait a minute. Did you go straight? It was the very first thing. Yes, the very first thing. But again, we've established that you don't really know how to search Google. I don't know how. You did know how to type in.

No. You did know how to type in Elmo chicken dance. How did you even know that was a thing? Did Andrew do this for you? That's a good question. Oh, yeah. But that is a good question, too. How are you aware of chicken dance, Elmo?

There's good questions all around. How may I have a chance of chicken dance, Elma? There's good questions all around. How am I aware of chicken dance, Elma? Yeah. Oh. You know, that's really great. I'm going to get weird, so strap in. Oh, okay. Okay.

I'm psychic. Wow. I believe in this 150%. I had a dream. What? I think you're going to have to let us know about that. 150% of them? dream what I think you're gonna have to let us know about that 150%

is that what you said I said 150% but my the last part of it got jumbled oh sure is what happened to me what was the last part

I'm very elderly yes of course you are I'm a beautiful you're a handsome woman you're a lovely handsome woman sorry thanks for the correction

I'm handsome I'm a handsome woman. Is that a compliment? I do think so. I really do. If someone told you you were handsome, would you say thank you? Do you know what? I think it's better in old age than younger age.

And I'm old. Right. So I think it's good for you. When I was young, I was very confused by it. You're a handsome woman. Oh, you got it as a young woman, too. I've got it since I was a baby. Oh, a handsome baby.

As a handsome baby. Well, I don't think there was something wrong with that. Your son is handsome, and my parents were like, thank you. They were embarrassed. Oh, I'm sorry. I know. Oh, they wouldn't say it's a little girl. They would just go along with it.

They'd say, oh, my boy is handsome. And then they'd see the vagina and it'd be all over. Oh, now why is that? Why did that happen? Well, sometimes, you know, they'd have to change. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Getting very emotional.

I'm so sorry. Sometimes they'd change my diaper in public and out would come a fish eye. Out it would come. That's how it goes. It just comes out. Oh, I'm so sorry, Chris, to bring this up. I didn't mean. It's a memory that I forgot about. I'm sorry sorry, Chris, to bring this up. I didn't mean... It's a memory that I forgot

about. I'm sorry. Most people don't remember being changed as a baby, but you're psychic. Right. You've got that extra percent. Got you there. I had a dream. And in my dream,

a ghost came to me. Oh, now. Okay. It said, Elmo, chicken dance, buy it buy it that's it that's all it said so I said to my son now is that being psychic or is that just a dream how do you what does that have to do with you being psychic all I know is that all I know is all I know and then I said to my son I had this dream and he knows what they mean that something psychic happened so he looked it up okay and he found it and he found it on the internet can you can you describe the ghost forest christian

sure oh oh it's it don't look like eisenhower oh yes very that makes sense that makes sense oh god very sorry i'm sorry i brought it up. It was a translucent version of Eisenhower. Wow, you could see through him. Casper the Friendly Eisenhower. Eisenhower the Friendly? Yes. Yes, Eisenhower the Friendly. Eisenhower the Friendly Ghost, I would think. Yes, but like Casper. I don't know what Casper the Friendly Eisenhower means. Wait a minute, was Casper translucent?

No, I don't think he was. Well, it just depends. My memory of him is very solid. Like a sheet. I feel like he was. My memory of him is very solid. Like a sheet. I feel like he was translucent when it was useful to the story. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, exactly. He could make himself invisible.

I bet in that movie, I have not seen the Devonsawa film, but I bet in that movie he was translucent because they had more money for the effects. Was that a person's name? Devonsawa. I'm just not familiar. Was that the director? No, that was the young boy who played Casper.

Oh, how do you know these things? There's a certain age woman to whom this, younger than me, but to whom this age this movie is

very important to them. Oh, okay is very important to them oh okay very important to them and then because of the end he briefly becomes a real life boy oh and then he's Kevin Sawa and then all the girls

who were watching this got very excited about a ghost in boy form yes sort of a reverse Pinocchio yes exactly if you like also I just want to say...

The nose goes in? I'm often... And out the back of his head. When he tells the truth. Well, yeah, it's not really a reverse Pinocchio because Pinocchio also became a real boy. Yes, at the end he became became didn't he become a boy at the end yes he did oh that's right

I guess it's not a reverse Pinocchio Casper goes back to being a ghost that's the reverse Pinocchio of it all he's dead yeah he is it's very sad but I never really thought of him as the ghost of a little boy he looks so cartoonish to me I know you know that's interesting it's so dark

so a child died and they made a You know, that's interesting. It's so dark. So a child died and they made a cartoon about it. That's right. Interesting. Yes. We never thought about it, did we?

When we saw it, it was children, it was just we accepted it. Well, there's also a very terrifying Disney live action movie called Child of Glass. Has anyone heard of this?

No. Child of Glass. Oh, it's terrifying. No, but it's not really that. It's a ghost. It is a dead child that's in, what I want to say is an outdoor barn or something.

And not only indoor ones. I lived in an indoor barn for three years. Did you really? Yes. I would not recommend it. Was this with your husband? No, he was gone. They're in the cell.

Oh, sure. Then when he came back, it felt like a parade. Oh, wait. Now parades are getting the same reaction as I said. It felt like a parade. Oh. Oh, wait. Now parades are getting the same reaction as Eisenhower. It's true. I love parades. Am I the first person to ever say that?

You are the first time and the first person to ever say that. To ever say I love parades? Yes. End time. You're the first person to say you love all parades. I love all parades. Some people say I love a parade. I love all. If there's a parade, I'm all for it.

You like the pharmacist parade that they have every year? When they're just like throwing pills in the air. And white coats. There's nothing more attractive than a pharmacist. To me, except for... You're aware that Burns is a pharmacist, right?

I'm very aware. Okay. Very. What's your husband's name? Charles. You're aware that Burns is a pharmacist, right? I'm very aware. Okay. Very. What's your husband's name? Charles. Charles. I forgot. Did you forget?

I'm so sorry I forgot, Charles. That's all right. So, wait a minute. So, you received this... What did I receive? You received, I guess, a psychic reading or something. A vision. But it was just a dream.

It was a dream. No reading. I don't know what you call them. A vision? I guess what I want to say is how often... Wait, wait, wait it was just a dream. It was a dream. No reading. I don't know what you call them. A vision? I guess what I want to say is how often- Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. There is a word that we're forgetting.

Premonition. Oh, okay. Premonition. Is that what it's a premonition? Do you feel this was a premonition of chicken dance? Yes. It told me to do it and I did it and it exists. Who would have thought that those two things,

those connected, Elmo and chicken dance? I just don't know. But they connect. So then how long have you had it? When did you get it? Were you happy with it? Did it improve your book club? Okay.

These are a lot of questions. Number one, I got it one month ago. Okay. Number two. Thank you for that. I was very unhappy with it, which is why I posted it. It didn't work. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. And this is the first time I've been upset at a Sesame Street character, by the way. That's a side note. Okay. I'm not happy with the whole Sesame Street thing.

Oh. Let's explore it. Do you want to talk about it? Yeah. Oh, I guess before I answer that third question. I think so. And I've already forgotten

what it was. Oh, the book club thing. Well, obviously the answer is no. I forgot that it was broken. This is the stakes of the whole thing. Oh. The book club is coming up in a few days and I don't know if I forgot that it was broken. This is the stakes of the whole thing. Oh.

The book club is coming up in a few days, and I don't know if I'm going to lose members. Oh, you haven't had it for a month. You only have it once a month? I postponed it. I said I had a bad illness that I don't want to give anybody. But this was because the chicken dance almost did not work. I've got to think about what to do. Sure.

Of course. Of course. All right. All right. So what about Sesame Street? Sesame Street. You don't like him? No. You have a problem with all of them, you said. A lot of them.

A lot of them. A lot of issues with Sesame Street. Like what? I don't believe a bird could be that tall. Okay, well. I don't know why we can't say what Bernard and Ernie really are. Oh. Does someone need to live in a trash can

and tell me mean things? I hear you on that one. Thank you. I don't need to live in a trash can and tell me mean things i hear you on that i have thank you i don't need to be told mean things but children just seem to love that grouchiness they love it when someone isn't because i think it's the naughty part right it's like oh that guy's not nice he's a negative example he's a negative example and the kids get delighted that someone's acting out you know know, not being polite. No repercussions for Oscar. No, there's no lessons. There's nothing.

Whatever he wants. He sure does. He's like Dennis the Menace's neighbor, Mr. Mitchell. Also played by Walter Matthau. I think it was Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson wasn't his name? I think that was played by Walter Matthau. It was Dennis Mitchell.

What'd you say? I said, I think it was played by Walter Matthau. That's right. Hilarious. I love the pronunciation. Oh, it made him laugh. Dennis's last name was Mitchell. I'm a say? I said, I think it was played by Walter Matthau. That's right. I love the pronunciation. Oh, it made him laugh. Dennis's last name was Mitchell. I'm a she. I'm sorry. It made her laugh. I told you, this is the problem

I've had all along. Because she got so upset like when I call, I'm sorry. She's just a very handsome, she's very handsome. Very handsome woman. Okay, so Sesame Street aside, one of the most galling things about this, Chris. Galling?

Well, you'll see where I'm going. I think you'll be pleased. Oh, good. Is that the idea that you press the foot, he announces he's going to do the dance, and then doesn't do it. No, he doesn't do it. If it were just, you press the foot and he does the dance, and it didn't work, that would be one thing. But the fact that he says, now I'm going to do the chicken dance and then it doesn't happen. Press the left foot is what it said.

Yes, the left foot. It said, now I'm going to do the chicken. I don't do Elmo's voice. And I won't. Oh, you don't? Because you were very good at doing your husband's voice. I mean, I don't know. I've never met him.

Well, that's my husband. I love him. I believe you. And I love doing his voice. Oh. Oh. Such a sensual person, Chris. Thank you. You should have seen me when I was you. And I love doing his voice. Oh, such a sensual person, Chris. Thank you.

You should have seen me when I was young. Oh, boy. I walked around town just moaning. It's this and that. On Eisenhower Street? Oh, that's right. You probably couldn't even get near it. Look, I had to stay off Eisenhower Street Oh, that's right. You probably couldn't even get near it. I was just... Look, I had to stay off.

I had to stay off Eisenhower Street because if I walked, I'd be slipping and sliding. Slipping and sliding. Okay. Children turn off. We got... Children turn off. Anyway, what was I saying?

So the book club. That's not what I was saying. But that's all right. You were telling me something. Well, you had said the most galling thing is that he announces he's going to do it, and then he doesn't. Yes. I don't remember what happened after that.

You press the button. He says, I'm going to do it. And all he did was collapse over. Oh, he did do something. I thought just nothing happened, but he collapses? I'm not even sure that the mechanism is supposed to do that. I don't think so. No, he fell over in a puddle of nothing.

Oh, my. Nothing. Did he regain his form again or no? He laughed at me. What? Then he started laughing. Oh, I don't think that's supposed to happen. I pressed the button.

Elmo goes, now I'm going. Oh, now you have it. That's not bad. Now you have it. That's pretty good. It's very good. Now I'm going to do whatever. And I'm going to do the chicken dance.

And just so you know, he's doing sort of a red, she's doing, just so you know, she's doing sort of a red rum thing with her finger. Yes. The finger represents Elmo. To me, he's basically the shining at this point. Of course. Now I'm going to do the chicken dance. Deflated.

Falls over. Makes that fart noise. And then laser giggling. That's horrifying. It's putting me in mind of the little twerking skeleton doll. I'm sorry, the what? Do not know what you're talking about.

This was a viral clip a few years ago. Oh my goodness. It's a YouTube, I believe it's a YouTube video under the heading of Possessed Doll. And so this is like a Halloween decoration that is supposed to do a little dance to a song

and then it just starts going crazy. Oh my word. And people are convinced it's possessed. And they start rebuking Satan at it and saying, I cast you out. I did not hear about it. Annabelle. Well, this did. Yes, but this does have that aspect.

Did you get scared? How long did it laugh? When did it stop? Do you know who's the worst, Chris? Do you know who the worst? Robert. Robert the doll. Who's Robert?

He's a haunted doll. And he wears a sailor suit. And that's stolen valor. I've never heard of such a thing. An insult to the troops. Terrible. Well, I'm insulted. And to Eisenhower. He was an army guy.

How long did the What? He warned about the military industrial complex. Yes, he did. Then he warned about Elmo. I don't remember that. His two industrial complex. Yes, he did. Then he warned about Elmo. Did he? I don't remember that. His two big warnings.

Yes. The industrial complex. The very industrial complex. And Elmo. And chicken-heads Elmo. He knew about it. He was a very... That's why he had a shaved head.

So more room for... Oh, he had a shaved head? Yes. More air and oxygen could get to his brain from the outside? So far ahead of the curve. He actually had a very thick head of hair. But he shaved his head so that his brain could work at full

capacity. Because that hair would have weighed it down. I don't know. I don't know enough about the science. You do know now. You know now. I do know now. I want to. Oh, I do know now. I want to know how long the Elmo laughed

and if it's happened since. Because I... Yes. Yes? Yes, I will tell you. Okay. A deal has been struck. The laugh is a good 45 minutes.

What? 45 minutes, Chris? No, absolutely not. 45. It goes up and down. This is horrifying. You keep thinking it's going to end. Right.

Like it's like, ah! Okay, something's wrong with him. No, that's not okay. Is he laughing like he's laughing at something that he just, like as if tears are streaming down his face, and then he thinks he's done, and then he thinks about it again, and he starts laughing all over again. Is it one of those?

A little bit. It's more of a mocking thing. Oh, no. For 45 minutes. Yes. Wow. And what did you, okay, did you take the batteries out? No. I didn't know. A little bit. It's more of a mocking thing. Oh, no. For 45 minutes. Yes. Wow. And what did you, okay, did you take the batteries out?

No. I didn't know. See, this is why I need you around. Me? What? I need you around. I'm so surprised. See, I should have started with this at the beginning of the show.

Yes, this is new information. This is why you came. Will you come live with me? I wanted to ask you this. Chris, I don't know. My son won't come back. He'll be back. Wow. Wait, why?

Chris, why me? I just enjoy you. I think you're a delightful woman. Do you listen to our podcast? Are you just familiar with me because of my realty? I listen to your podcast. I study your realty stuff.

I'm so flattered. You should be. I'm a huge fan. And I think you're a wonderful actress. Every time you're on stage at Dignity Fall, I always cry. I always laugh. No matter what the production is. No matter what.

I can see you in a Walter Matthau story and I will cry. Either from sadness or from laughter. Oh. Or from anger. Oh. Wow. Or from fear. Oh my wow. Or from fear. Oh my goodness.

Have you ever had fear tears? Fear tears. You know what I probably have. I've had tears for fears. Well, if you come over to watch my Elmo, you might look so scared. Watch your Elmo. Hey, watch your Elmo.

Watch my Elmo. Uh-oh. So anyway, the book club's happening and I don't know what to do. So wait, what? I'm sorry. The book club is coming up. Okay. I don't know what to do. So wait, what? I'm sorry. The book club is coming up. Okay.

I don't know what to do to entertain them now. You know, I think there's many other options than just a chicken dance Elmo that could entertain a bunch of middle-aged to aged women. My dream told me to do it. Why did you assume it was just women? I have some men in my book club too. I'm sorry. You are absolutely right.

Thank you. Give me the breakdown. Of all the, okay. Oh yeah. How many people in the book club too. I'm sorry. You are absolutely right. Thank you. Give me the breakdown. Of all the, okay. Oh yeah, how many people in the book club? There's seven. Seven. Including me. It's a good number.

It's a good number. Lucky. There's Celeste. There's Anna. There's Billabarb. Okay. There's who? Billabarb.

Billabarb. Billabarb. There's Cece. There's Denitra. Okay. There's Henry. There's Henry too. There's Denitra. Okay. There's Henry. There's Henry II. I've lost count.

Henry II? Yes, I think that's number seven. I think that was eight people. Maybe there's eight people in my blood. Maybe Henry counted for two. Henry II. Henry II. That's what happened.

Henry and Henry II is one person. He just has two personalities. But they're both named Henry. They're both named Henry. No, one's Henry and one's Henry II. But I personalities. But they're both named Henry. They're both named Henry. No, one's Henry and one's Henry II. But I apologize. Yes. To both of them.

Yes. Thank you. They're fun, though, both of them. Oh, well, that's good. I still think that this psychic premonition you had might just be a dream, unless, can you tell me about other things? Why do you think you're psychic? Why? Why?

What? Well, what are some other instances of your psychic? Yes, that's what I, I guess that's how I needed to word it. There's always a dream where a ghost comes in. See, I'm not, okay. What? I've never heard of that being, I thought that being psychic meant, you know,

you touch someone's hand, you can see that something happened in their lives. You walk into a room, you can feel the aura, you know that something happened. I haven't heard of being psychic as just a ghost that something happened in their lives. You walk into a room, you can feel the aura. You know that something happened. I haven't heard of being psychic. It's just a ghost tells you something in a dream. Can you think of what word I'm thinking of? That's psychic.

Well, that's not me. I'm telling you. He's not that kind of psychic, babe. Can I take a shot at it? I'll try. But you go ahead. Dandruff. Was it dandruff? I'm not sure it was. No, that's actually not it.

What's your guess? Was it something with Dan in it? Let me use not at all. No, this is exactly what happened. See, this is why I don't like psychics. You see what he's doing? He's just trying to pull apart. I'm a she, and I don't know how many times I need to tell you that I'm a she.

Just because she's a handsome woman. You need to see my elderly. No, please, Chris. No, this is what she's doing, which is a lot of what psychics do is that they sort of pull apart the word and just try to get to anything that might make you say,

oh, that's right, she's right. I like when they have to go through the whole alphabet. Is there a J in your life? Is there a J in their name? N-O-P. Is there a house in your life? Is there a car in their name? Is there a house in your life? Is there a car? Was it something with Dan in it, though?

Was it something with Dan in it? I'm sorry, but not at all. It was Supine, right? Yeah, it was Supine. I think we all knew it was Supine. Supine is so close to dandruff. There's N's in it. But I do, I am having dandruff problems.

Well, that's what I was thinking about. There it is. You must be psychic. Thank you. 150 percent. Percentum. Percentism. Percentism. You must be psychic. Thank you. 150%. Presentism. Presentism. Presentism. Oh, that's different.

That's a belief. Well, yes. It's bigotry against percentages. Presentism? It is bigotry. Sorry. When you don't believe in it. You don't believe in percentages. I'm sorry. Chris, did you try to return the doll or no? No.

Why not? They lied to you. Exactly. You can get a full refund and you should also warn people about this vendor. I should. What's happening? Absolutely. Oh, no.

Wait, that sounds. It's doing it again. No, look. I know. Look, and it's doing it because she brought it. I told you. This is terrifying. This is going to, it's doing it because she brought it. This is going to go on for 45 minutes. It'll die down.

Should I put it in a drawer? Yes, please. Put it in a drawer. Here's a drawer. Slam. Do you do that when you close drawers? Do you say slam? Do you close it lightly and say slam?

Yes. Not all the time. I don't always. I'm telling you, it'll just make your life more fun. I do that old Onyx song. Slam! Dun dun dun. Gloria. Let the boys be boys. Turn on your hard light.

Turn. That's a term of a dear man. You gotta watch out for those gremlins. Did gremlins end with a rap? There must have been. Gremlins 2, one of them must have been a rap. I know Dragnet did.

Remember that Dragnet rap? No, but it's going to make me want to watch it. It's something else. Tom Hanks as Pep Strebeck. Oh. Okay, now, wait, wait, wait. Are you drunk? Yes.

It's 9 a.m. Come live with me. Oh, you've been up for a while. Oh, Chris. I need help. Chris, I can't come live with you. I don't think that me living with you is going to solve your problems.

I remember where we were. Yes. I remember. You asked me why I didn't return it. Oh, yeah. Okay, now I'm going to be real. Oh, please. The mask is coming. solve your problems. That's off the table. Yes. I remember. You asked me why I didn't return it. Yes. Oh, yeah. Okay, now I'm going to be real. Oh, please.

The mask is coming. Oh, okay. Oh, my word. I took it off. I look older than I did. You look, but you still look handsome. You're still a handsome woman, but you do look 10 years older.

Yes. Thank you. Okay. My son, I know if I return it, I will have no chance that my son will come back. I need my son to come back. Do you feel like you can only get him to come around when you need help with certain things? Yes, that's what I feel. Okay, but then you can ask for help for all sorts of things.

Help around the house, help cleaning, helping with groceries. That's what you're there for. No, I don't think so. I'm not sure that makes any sense. Chris, you have to get that idea out of your mind because Joan is not going to live with you. She has her own life. Yeah, I do.

And I mean, listen, if I wasn't so busy, I might visit your book club, but I mean, it doesn't mean that we can't. Visit my book club? Well, I already said I was very busy. Wait, if you say just visit my book club, mean that you'll be in it or just come by and say hi? Nope, I use my words very carefully.

Visit just to check and see how it goes. Nobody wants to do a book club. It's just annoying. No, they don't. It does sound fun to visit one. Oh, yeah. Visit. Okay.

What are you reading? It's like auditing the class. Oh, okay. Goodbye. Goodbye. Sounds like a good book. I won't read it. Great talking about it.

Enjoy the cheese. Is that them backing away into the night? Enjoy the cheese. Because there's always cheese out of the book club. There's always cheese out of the book it. Enjoy the cheese. Is that them backing away into the night? Enjoy the cheese. Because there's always cheese out of the club. Enjoy the cheese slam. So I don't need my, what's my son? What? What? Huh? Who's that first? You need

to figure out. Second base. Has this happened many times before where you and your son stopped talking for long periods of time or is this the first time this has happened no it's many times okay so we need therapy is his father that sounds good do he and his father have a good relationship yes i say yes to therapy wonderful okay when my husband isn't as home there's nothing wrong how often is he home every few months he comes home what a beautiful beautiful way to put it. It is. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong.

And Andrew feels the same. Oh, yes. They get along famously. Oh, gosh. Where do you think all this unhappiness comes from? We miss him. We miss Charles. And we take it out on each other.

Charles. So sorry. You're right. I said my husband. My husband. Chinatown situation. Can I just tell you? That sounds like. I call my husband my husband. Chinatown situation. Can I just tell you? I call my husband my husband.

That's cute. It sounds like a term that hasn't been made up yet, but will be popular soon. Yes, that's cute. When you're having fun with your husband, he's your husband. Do you call your husband? You should call him your husband. I call him my Dougsband. Oh, because he's Doug.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I know somebody who is divorced and refers to their ex-husband as their wasband. Oh, yes. I've heard that before. That's pretty clever.

It's pretty clever. They do hate each other. Oh, dear. It's terrible. That's too bad. I don't know why she's bothering. It should be husband. Oh, like a has-been. Husband, other. Oh, dear. It's terrible. That's too bad. So I don't know why she's bothering. It should be husband. Oh, like a has been.

Band, yeah. Oh. Yes. Oh, I was thinking husband. Has, question mark, band. Has been. Husband. Was band. Okay. I mean, this is very fun, but I don't think it's going to help you get to the bottom of your problem with your son. So you're saying I don't need my son to come back and help

me? No, you don't need just simply a malfunctioning Elmo for him to come back, okay? I think that you just need the fact that you are his mother and that he probably needs his mother and that the two of you are- He's in his 30s.

I know, but you know what? A boy always needs his mother. A boy always needs his mother. It's very true. Yes. Even Matt and Radiophonic need me sometimes still. Okay.

And so I honestly think you just- Like for bail. It does happen. They still get arrested a lot. They set fires a lot. But you know what- At least you keep warm. And it gets cold in the winter.

Well, and you know what? Positive spin. That's the positive of having an arsonist as a son if you live in cold weather. Oh, boy. I mean, that is a really positive spin. I think all you need to do is call him up and say, son, I'm sorry that we argued. Would you like to come over?

I'll make you some food. Why are you scared? I'm scared to do that. Well, it's hard to be vulnerable sometimes. That's what I mean. But I'm just telling you, I guarantee you that he's, he's feeling bad too. Yes. What does he do for a living?

Does he, is he single? Does he have a family? He has, he has, he's, he has a family. Okay. He has a family. So he has a family. He has a family. Okay.

So he does have a family. He does have a family. The reason I hesitated is because, you know, as a mother and I am one. And you, you're now speaking mother to me. Oh, yes, we are. Always, no matter what age they are, we always think of them as just single children. Well, yes. And so when they're married, you go, oh, wait, he's not a single child anymore.

Yes, that's right. He has a family. So can you describe the family? Yeah. Oh, can I? Yes. What did you think I said? I don't know.

Listen, I'm very old. The answer was right. You said yeah. Okay, so I got lucky. I am psychic. Yeah, it's going to be right. 150%. 50% of the time.

I got lucky. I like those odds. There's a good odd. Maybe. It could have been a maybe. It could have been a maybe. It could have been a maybe. That's rare. That's like when it lands on the double zero.

I get along very well with this family. His wife's name is Jan. I hate that name, but she's lovely. Sounds like. I don't know if that was pertinent. I just think it's boring. Well, when he said, I'm dating a girl named Jan I'm like I don't like it well that might not have been the best reaction to have

no of course not I tell you we don't get along just because of the name if Charles was in town I'm sure I would have had a better attitude I just miss him so much does he have children do you have grandchildren yes he has a lot how many

six that's a lot. That is a lot. Oh my God. I'm an only child. I would have hated to have had five brothers and sisters. They're two sets of triplets. Oh no. Oh goodness. Yeah, it was tough on Jan. Well, sure. That's why I'd be

much nicer to Jan than you have been. That sounds scary. Scary? Yes. Like they'll gang up on you? Well, because I feel like they'd be warring. You have two teams, essentially. But then they could combine. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Easily. Oh, you're definitely beyond outnumbered. And they don't have to talk to each other. Oh, no. It's like the evil Brady Bunch. So you just don't talk to them? You don't talk to these kids? Not when I'm not talking to my son. I don't talk to them. Oh, I see. I don't talk to any? You don't talk to these kids? Not when I'm not talking to my son.

I don't talk to any of them. It's all or nothing. You either talk to everybody or nobody. Listen, I'm a woman who's all or nothing. Okay. It's not the healthiest thing, I admit it. I wish I were better. You're right about that.

Is it too old to change? No, Chris. It's never too late. I think that if you are able- Wait, I just said, is it too old to change? Yeah, we glossed over it. Is it- He knew what you meant.

Thank you. I think that, Chris, it sounds like you're able to admit that you might have some fault here. Okay. And that the way you speak to your son, sometimes you say things that don't need to be said. Right. You might have personal feelings about, say, somebody's name or something, but you can keep that to yourself. You just, you don't need to share that with him because now he has to have that in his

mind. Right. You know, whenever he hears his wife's name. It's terrible. Yeah. And I'm also realizing that it has nothing to do with like, it's all about my husband.

I'm just, when I say something, I just, it's, I'm missing my husband. You're missing your husband. I'm missing my husband. There you go.

And that's okay. It's not easy being married to a traveling salesman. Well, he's got to be fairly old. I mean, isn't it time for retirement for him? How old is he? Oh, he's 97. Sure. Oh, he shouldn't be.

And he should not be out there knocking on those doors. Do you have any of those pillows? I could use some. Oh, sure. They're delightful. They're delightful? My husband's pillows, they're wonderful. You can get, if you have a headache

there's a headache pillow if you a headache pillow yes it helps with headaches if you like colors everything I like colors

colors they've got different color pillows I'm going to get you a free pillow what's your favorite color oh that's very nice oh

stumped it babe oh he loves brown brown and there's can I tell you something that's what that's called brown is good Stumped him Oh He loves brown Brown And Can I tell you something That's what that's called

Brown is good Brown is good for dandruff Is it Yes Why Because It hides it Really

Yes Interesting A lot of people don't know They think because For dandruff's wife It's white Right Dandruff's wife

Is itchy scalp Now that sounds like An 80s movie Dandruff's wife Dandruff's wife is itchy scalp now that sounds like an 80s movie dandruff's wife and that's the theme song that's what i was singing is it we're all on the same page i think the movie's british though dandruff yes i think so it's a merchant ivory it's definitely a period piece yes dandruff's wife is definitely a period beast. Yes. Dandruff's wife. It's the person that Dandruff was named for. Lord Dandruff.

Lord Dandruff. And they had a steamy affair at a villa in France. Dandruff's wife. And the flakes fell from his scalp like snow. Jeremy Irons is so hot in that. Oh, Jeremy Irons plays Dandruff?

Yes, Lord Dandruff. And Dandruff's wife is played by... Maggie Smith. Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. I'm in. She's very repressed.

Yes. But then at the end, the glasses come off, the hair comes down, she walks away. She walks away? She walks away. She walks away from the marriage.

Spoiler. She's walking through a field. Bye. Bye, Tantra. But she's completely naked at that point, right? Well, the clothes are coming off. Yeah, the clothes are coming off. They're coming off.

And it's a far shot. It's a far shot. She's walking off, but you see the buttocks. You see the buttocks. She gets nominated for an Academy Award, but she doesn't win. Like NYPD Blue. Like NYPD Blue. That's right.

Yes. They call it the Sipowitz. But British. More elegant. Oh, my goodness. But we have gotten very off track. To whom? Oh, God. Who gets nominated, but she loses. To whom? Oh God, who's nominated that year?

I would say it's probably Jodie Foster. It's definitely going to be Jodie Foster, obviously Meryl. Meryl's nominated, but Jodie wins that year. Yes. Don't even know what's happening anymore. It's the year of the accused. She's going to win.

So here's what I think. Your husband needs to come home. Glenn Close lost the Oscar to Jodie Foster, the accused. She should have won. And I know this is a fatal attraction. Wait, did this happen? Is this something that happened?

Oh, this was the same year? No, wait. I'm wrong. No, Glenn Close lost the Oscar to Cher for fatal attraction. She lost the Oscar. No, Cher wasn't in fatal attraction. No, Cher won that year. For Moonstruck. Oh, Cher won for Moonstruck.. She lost to Oscar. No, Cher wasn't in Fatal Attraction. No, Cher won that year.

For Moonstruck. Oh, Cher won for Moonstruck. Glenn Close lost to Jodie Foster when she was in Dangerous Liaisons. Okay. I see. I know this because I'm handsome like Glenn Close. That's right.

And I'm furious that she's never won an Oscar. Sure. And I think they used a clip where she dramatically wipes off her lipstick. That's right. She should have won for that movie. I'm where she dramatically wipes off her lipstick. That's right. She should have won for that movie. I'm sorry. Should have won. Well, Chris, I think we're about

out of time. Am I healed? I don't think so. We really tried to help you. I think this is a best of luck situation. It really is. Roll the dice. See you when you visit my book club. I would, Chris, if I were you, I would call Andrew and make up with

him. And then call Charles and tell him to come home. Tell him to retire. He's 97. It's time. He's missing out on time with his grandchildren. All six of them. And also get them to help you return that chicken dance Elmo because it's defective and cursed. I don't think anyone's going

to buy it off the neighborhood because you already said it doesn't work. You know, who wants that? And I'm also going to leave a bad review. I think that's called for. Maybe that's what I'll call Andrew. Can you help me with the bad review and then we can talk for real? I would lead with the apology maybe. Yeah, I agree. I'm sorry.

Lead with love. And then go, can you help me? Or more than I'm sorry. Maybe talk in a nice way about how much he means to you. This is why I need you to move in with me. Again, that's just not gonna happen. But you said, you mentioned therapy. I think that's a wonderful idea.

Absolutely. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Good luck to us all. You're a very handsome woman. You are a very handsome woman. Thank you, Chris.

This is my second mask. No, the second mask. This is what I really look like. Ten more years. Do I look still handsome? Still handsome. Maybe I don't need to wear these masks. Skin drawn so tightly over that skull. I gotta open the drawer and take my...

Oh, yes, please. Yes, you do have to. Oh, he stopped laughing. Stop laughing you do have to. Oh, he stopped laughing. Stopped laughing. Oh, no. There he goes. Now it's playing music. Oh, it's creepy music. Oh, no. Absolutely not. Slam.

We'll be right back. This is TJ. Large Beanie Baby Collection from mid-1990s. Many rare and error beanies. Comma ellipsis. $12,000. Large Beanie Baby Collection from mid-1990s. Many rare and error beanies.

Princess Di. Hope. More. These have been a protective tag plastic and protective cases since first purchase this lot includes almost all of the rare and sought after beanies this is being sold as a lot only unless the offer for a single one is very competitive for example hope bear has all the errors with the beanie and tags that make Hope worth more. Same goes for other error beanie slash animals. This lot even includes the first bear introduced to the beanie line. Any reasonable offer will be accepted. Local cash transaction only.

No shipping. No payment apps. Oh, TJ. This is how you win. This is only the beginning, TJ. People still care about these Beanie Babies. I know they do. They pretend not to sometimes, but I know they care.

They care about the rare. They care about the error. They care about honoring Princess Di. Okay, TJ. Don't spend all the money just yet. Definitely buy the hot tub. Okay. All right, TJ. I believe in you. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen.

Boy, Chris was really something. She kind of broke my heart a little bit. She broke my brain a little bit. Indeed. I was a little surprised about, I can't believe, why did she want me to live with her? I was not expecting that. Why was that the solution rather than just talking to her son?

I mean, I'm flattered. I like that I'm seen as someone who can help fix things. You know, that part is, listen, it's not every day that someone asks you to come live with them. I know. I don't think you should be looking for a silver lining in this. It's not good

that she asked you to do that. I think the bar has just been lowered for me as I get older of what really makes, really flatters me. I understand. Well, look, a lot of women, you know,

you hit a certain age and you feel invisible. Nobody's asking you. Strangers aren't asking you to live in their homes. You want to feel like you still got it and that peopleangers aren't asking you to live in their homes. You want to feel like you still got it, that people will still ask you to come live in their homes. And help them with internet posting.

Yes. But I do hope she makes up with her son. It does sound like it's all her fault. And I hope that it's- And we got to get that man home because a 97-year-old should not be walking around. I mean, don't mean to be ageist, but that's really Charles.

That's tragic thinking of this elderly man selling pillows. I know. People already have pillows. That's just a tough... It is. It's quite a literal tough sell. Not me. Not right now. I know. You've got all... That's on you. Why would you go...

Why would you have a lazy room without pillows? There's so many other areas of the house where we can be lazy. I am surprised about that. Not this lazy. Can you describe the level of lazy? What is it that you're doing that goes beyond normal lazy? So I have my microphones on a Bob Dylan kind of harmonica. Oh, sure.

Situation. Okay. I'm lying on my back with all four limbs. We know you're lying on your back. I know, but all four limbs are hanging, like dangling down over. What are you lying on? On a balance beam? Kind of on a beam type of thing.

That doesn't sound relaxing. It actually sounds like work. That doesn't sound lazy to me. Well, so none of my muscles are engaged at all. Okay, but I thought that you can do that just by lying on a yoga mat and not engage any of your muscles. Or you could lay on a bean bag or a sofa or a feather bed. Well, this is what I went with. All right.

Okay. You know what? He doesn't want to talk about it. My recording equipment is split between two hands. So there's no... But you can't see anything because you won't turn your head. below me. Yes. So I just have buttons, you know, I just, I have to say, this is a very strange visual. If this one comes out, I'll be surprised this episode.

I mean, it's our last one. I think it has to. God, I hope so. I hope people, we don't leave people hanging like Doug's limbs. Well, we have one final post here. Okay. And this one comes from Rosie. And she says, all caps, beware of doing business with a florist called Chris Lindsay Designs in Old Dig. Biggest scam in Dignity Falls. She goes broader.

That's saying something. It sure is. This is a pretty scammy town i've been scammed two years in a row they make appointments that's a real shame on me that is the textbook she went back for more exactly i mean i guess she's an optimist but that really is uh they make appointments with you for service, but never show up or call. That's the end.

I'm not sure what the scam is. Because I'm not sure when you need a florist to come to your house for service. What is the scam, do we think? What is the service? Thank you. Could you put these in a vase for me? Thank you. And also doesn't she doesn't mention any money that exchange.

No, no. OK, so someone doesn't call you back. Yeah. Here's what I think. OK. I think that I think that Rosie and Chris had a thing. Really? I do.

Rosie is trying to destroy Chris's business. Yes. That or like, you know, that's why he's not calling, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because this doesn't make any sense. The scam was not described. We know the neighbor very well. People will describe a scam in great detail.

Absolutely. We've had some of the scammers on. We've had some of the scammies on. That's right. This is, there's nothing here. I don't, there's nothing to go on. This is, at worst, it's just bad business. I don't think you could even make a case here.

No, you can't make a case for a scam. Because I'm not sure, but I'm not, nothing illegal is described here. Right? Not really. You can't put people in jail for saying yes.

And then they don't do it. It's bad. I mean, you didn't even describe the service. Yeah. What again? I've never needed in-home florist service. I can't imagine what that is.

Could you, could you shift these around make them look nice every time i put them in there they're just like in my in my lifetime you go to the florist yes the florist does not come to you now if this is um like uh you're catering right that's like if you're like a vendor you're likeing, right? That's like, if you're like a vendor, if you're like a wedding vendor, you have flowers delivered. But this is, I haven't, she's not specific enough. She's not said something like, oh, well, my daughter's wedding, you know, the morning of, they never came.

I couldn't call, you know what I mean? That, okay, now that's a scam. If you're going to warn people of a scammy business, you have to set up the whole drama of it. important this was my now my grandmother's dead yes as a result as a result they killed my grandmother and i'll see them in hell now that's a scam description volume eight all right well uh you know stay safe from scammers everybody uh that's all the time we have for this episode of the neighborhood listen um if you'd like your ad-free versions of the show you can go to cbbworld.com we have to find out what that means what that stands for yes we do and if you sign up really do sign up on the maximus tier you can get ad-free

versions of the episodes and also what we call the bonus room. These are additional episodes that are different than our regular weekly episodes. And they are, sometimes you'll meet other people from Dignity Falls. Sometimes we'll all watch a movie together. Who knows?

It could be anything, but they're a lot of fun. And so are we. And even though this is the last episode of the season, it's not the last bonus room. That's exactly right. It's not. Nothing stops the bonus room.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But what a season it's been. It has been a rollercoaster. Yes, it's been a rollercoaster. Rollercoaster. You did a little character there. It's been a rollercoaster.

It's been a rollercoaster. It's like a Rolla Costa. It's Beto Rolla Costa. It's like a sportscaster. Well, that's how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I've been watching a spectator sport talking to some of these people. Absolutely. And we hope that you have enjoyed listening to us as we get to know more neighbors and push reality to its limits. Which is what we set out to do. It is, if you remember.

That was our mission statement. That's what we said. I don't know if we said it on air, but we did, I remember. We have it up on a yellow piece of paper above the door. That's right, above the door. And I remember before the first episode,

we all joined hands and we said, let's push the limits of reality. And we jumped up and we touched it. We jumped up and touched it on the way out. And we all retained our faces.. We all retained our faces. And we all retained our faces. That's what I call a successful season. Yep.

So thank you everyone for listening. And, you know. Follow us on Instagram. Join us in the Discord. And we look forward to being back with season six. And until then, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. And until then, goodbye. And bye. Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers.

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