The Neighborhood Listen - Father's Day Dreams, Creams and Schemes with Laci Mosley

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Joan + Doug share their latest home renovation while Burnt reveals the strange object that was buried with his long time deceased mother. Plus, special guest Ginger (Laci Mosley), explains why she randomly talks to strangers at the Target in Dignity Falls.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone.

You've got the NeighborHap app and us. Burn. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again to, or for the first time, to The Neighborhood. Listen, this is the podcast all about the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. We take a post from the NeighborHap social networking application,

and we interview our neighbors and get to know them. My name is Burton Mia Payday. I am a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls. Hi, I'm Joan Pedestrian. I'm a realtor, and we are just so happy to be here. It's summer, Bernd. It's summer, Joan. Yeah, and I just, I got to tell you, I love summer, but I wonder, because I've always had you pegged as a winter fellow. Would you say that you're more of a winter person than a summer person? You know, you don't like to go out a lot. I don't like to go out a lot, except, of course, to prevent crimes. I did consult with a colorist one time. Someone gave me a gift certificate

to consult with a colorist, and it turns out that I am a spring. Oh, so a colorist for, like, you know, the colors you should be wearing? Yes, exactly. See, if you say that to a woman, of course, she's going to think coloring for hair. Oh, I see. But, yes. You know what's crazy? I have never seen a single gray hair. Oh, I see. But yes, you, I've never, you know, it's crazy.

I have never seen a single gray hair on you, Burnt. No, I have yet to go gray. And I don't know what's keeping it because this is about the time when I should have a few at least. And I don't know what it is. The hair on my arms is bone white. And I don't know why the hair on my legs is sort of an Auburn.

Uh, and my underarm hair is blonde, platinum blonde. You're kidding. I don't know. You are color. You're colored with the whole spectrum. I guess so. Like every, every color hair could be saying that about your arms, because I have seen, it was very rare to see you in a short sleeve shirt. Very rare. Well, because I don't want to give people a scare. Well, right, because your arms look almost see-through. Yeah. People think that they're seeing my bones, my arm bones. That's right.

And it's alarming is all. It's just alarming. Especially when you're riding a bike because that's a very, it's a, it's, you're kind, it's almost like you're a little bit like a ghost riding a bike. Well, an arm ghost, I guess. Yeah, an arm you're a little bit like a ghost riding a bike. Well, arm ghost, I guess. Yeah. An arm ghost,

just an arm ghost. The legs look fine. It's like the opposite of when a Muppet rides a bike and the legs do not look correct. That's right. Can you imagine seeing somebody riding a bike down the street? He's, Oh, his arms are ghosts.

Just the arms. Just the, his arms died and they have unfinished business. And it's to signal left and right with those arms for that bike. I mean, if your arms can fall asleep, can they not then die? These are very philosophical areas of questioning. They are. They're very philosophical, which I would expect nothing less from you.

But so getting back to this colorist. So you were told you were a spring. Yes. Then I should wear pastels. Pastels. Yes, and I should wear. You were to wear pastels. Pastels, yes, that I would look the best in those colors. You are to dress yourself like an Easter egg. That's correct. As if I had taken a bath in paws.

Oh, boy. You remember doing that? I do. I do remember, you know, I was not raised with religion, but we did all the pagan stuff. And I do remember coloring the eggs and talking about the harvest and talking about all that stuff. Doug loves to color eggs. He's always loved doing it. He gets very, very, he does little scenes on them. Like

he draws little, he did one year he just did movie posters. It's very, very tiny. It's very delicate work. Doug, what are some of the movie posters that you painted on eggs? Doug, my husband, of course. Hey, babe. He's our engineer. And Doug, before you answer the question, and you must answer, where

are you today? Where in the house are you? I am in the ballroom that's right the ballroom yeah i thought it'd be nice for joan and i to to dance more okay so you need that type of ballroom i want to make sure yes because you never know with uh with the pedestrian corn household i know or the, you know what I mean? Corn pedestrian. I just love that scene from Beauty and the Beast so much. You know, when, with that, that's what we based it on.

When the candlestick says, we will die. That's right. Well, at the end, when they're all happy and they're all humans again. Wow. Wait, which one are you talking about, Berndt?

Oh, what's that production I saw? I did see, I saw a saw a you know they have those at the at the at the at the at the at the at the supermarket you can get um in that one row you can get knockoff videos um and uh there was a beauty and the beast what was it called monster in me and uh it was the essentially the same story as beauty and the beast i don't know why they did that i think it's public domain knockoff beauty and the beast video well it's this it essentially the same story as Beauty and the Beast. I don't know why they did that. I think it's public domain. You're buying a knockoff Beauty and the Beast video. Well, it's the same thing, but it's half the price. And video?

Are you still using a VCR? Of course I'm using a VCR, yes. Oh, boy. We've got to bring you into this. We have got to bring you into just even this world. I mean, you've got a Murphy bed. You're in a different universe sometimes, I think. You got a ventriloquist dummy,

you got a Murphy bed, and you got a VCR. Well, now you have some sort of a house moving castle that you live in and it's filled with all kinds of strange rooms and you have your twins, your pyromaniac twins, and Jaliopi, her traits.

You know, you have this 100-year-old dog. I meanaliopi, her traits. You know, you have this 100-year-old dog. I mean, you know, we're both interesting. I'm just saying, we're both interesting people, Joe. We're both interesting, so therefore we have a podcast. And there's Doug. So Doug's in the ballroom. Yeah, tell me about the ballroom.

Oh, it's just, it's your typical ballroom and, you know, wood floors, very squeaky. It's not great for recording. It's very squeaky and very slick, actually. And we have a lot of... Are you sure this isn't a basketball court?

Well, when we talked about it, as I could see Doug sort of working with the people that were putting the floor down, I could see what he was trying to do. He was trying to get a basketball court put in there. So we basically call it our ballroom court. I usually associate wood floors and squeaking with sneakers, and I don't associate those with ballrooms. associate wood floors and squeaking with sneakers and I don't associate those with ballrooms. I need to wear sneakers for when I ballroom dance because just because of my hip. We've never talked about this. No.

What happened to your hip? Yes, Doug has a bum hip from an old high school injury. You want to talk about it, babe? Oh, sure. Yeah, it's pretty unusual. I can't stop sort of shimmying it like normally. Normally, a bum hip. You know how normal people can stop shimmying whenever they want. Okay. Are you talking like you're popping it out like a backup singer of some kind?

Is that what's going on with you? And you can't control that? A slight undulation, a slight shimmy back and forth. So it makes for good dancing. It makes for good ballroom dancing. He's got great hip action, as they call it in the ballroom world. Great hip action. But the sneakers somehow aid you in

doing the work. Yeah, I do need the orthotics, the special orthotics of the sneakers, so I go in the correct direction. It was a go-kart incident, right? Wasn't it a – it was – Yes. Did you say this was in college? High school.

High school. I'm sorry. Yes. I drove a go-kart a lot in high school. Like not on a track. Just around? Yeah. Yeah, to and from school.

It was close. It was close by. Any hills that you had to worry about? Oh, lots of hills. Sure, yeah. I feel like half of that journey sounds like smooth sailing. North Dignity Falls, full of hills. Oh, I do forget you are a native of Dignity Falls.

You were born and raised here. Born and raised, yes. Yeah, but you were born in No Dig. No Dig is notoriously hilly. Born and raised. Yes. Born in No Dig. No Dig is notoriously hilly. Actually, yeah. So my go-kart of course puttered out one day. It no longer ran.

And I had to push it to school. And pushing it really did a number on my hip. That's what took it out of its socket. Yeah. It's been really It's been really, it's been a really long journey with this,

with this hip thing, but he found that one upside of it is that he has great ability to do the Samba. The, the he can do all he, the cha-cha-cha. He does very good at that, but yes, he does have to do it in sneakers.

Is it called the cha-cha-cha? The cha-cha. I like to add an extra cha. Because you know what? He does an extra cha because he's got that extra shimmy. Can he do the, I'm sorry. Can he do the da-da-da-da-da-da? Which one's that?

You know that dance? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, he's doing it right now. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The Argentine tango, he's very good at that. He doesn't mean Argentine tango Wow and Joan you can do all these dances as well Of course

Oh honey can you not do that while we're recording though Can you maybe not do that while you're recording I just I'm just rehearsing I know I know it's just oh it's kind of loud it's very

but that's what it sounds like Bert so there you go yeah classic ballroom yeah oh and yes we took a couple classes

and I just I love it and so you know we do our best between his extra hip motions and his special orthopedic shoes and

my costumes. Cause of course I do full costumes. Of course. That we, we, you know, we, we,

we have a good time. We have a really good time. I don't, I don't, I don't doubt that for a second. And Doug, I am going to need an answer about those Easter eggs in just a moment, but I did want to find out,

Joan, you, how do you feel about the summer? Cause I remember you were in, you both, all your children were born during the summer. Oh yes. And not, don't recommend it.

Right. You're just, you're so big, you're so hot, you know, you just want to be in a, in a, in a, in a vat of cold water and you don't, you don't want to move. And it's just a haul. It's a real long haul. But, but after they're born, then summer's really great, especially, you know,

as they get, well, they could be outside. They're not inside the whole time. You just send them out. They play. It's your birthday. Go outside. Love to grill.

I don't know why I said it so weird. Love to grill. Grill. We like to do a southern-themed grill, and that's just kind of what we get into. That sounds very exciting. It is. What do you,

what do you serve? We serve, um, uh, chicken. That's right. Doug really likes doing a Southern accent. He thinks it's super fun.

Um, Oh, do one. Oh, I thought I just did. Oh, I, my apologies

And a grill He's more comfortable doing it on just one word It starts to, it's a little tricky when you have to do a whole sentence Sure But yes, I really love, I just love Out like lots of paper plates You don't have to, you know, you can get away with not doing dishes You just do lots of paper plates

You do lots of Margarita blender pitchers You do lots lots of it's just a lot of outside fun for the food is more fun uh i just think it's really great now i i know that um you have this hair on your arms you have ghost arms so is one of the other reasons why maybe you i don't peg you as a summer person is do you do you get burned burned real easily on your arms? Ironically enough, considering my name, I have never had a sunburn in my life. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Really? Never in my life.

I've never tanned. My skin tone has never changed. But is that because you just don't go outside a lot? Or you've actually been in the sun and there's just simply no change? I don't know. My skin might have just stuck at birth. You know, I saw the splotches on my face from when I was born. What do you mean?

You know, when a baby's born, it's all wrinkly and splotchy and stuff. It can be, yep. Yeah, and so I still have some of those marks. You do? Yes. Oh, little birth marks. Yes. Well, big birth marks.

Mostly covered by my hair. Doug has one on the back of his neck, a big red mark, and that's kind of where the head passed through and kind of was pressed against the cervix, and they call it a stork bite. Isn't that cute? I've heard that term, but I never knew what that meant, the stork bite. With my receding neckline, it's really showing these days. It is. He has a receding neckline and he

likes to, I have to get him special t-shirts that go low on the back because he hates anything that rides up on his neck like a shirt so he doesn't like collars or anything. I have to get these weird shirts that are almost like adult onesies where the neck stretches a whole lot. Like a flash dance look.

Correct. Yeah, he loves an off the shoulder shirt.an do you think that uh your your twins being born in the dead of summer is why they're so attracted to fire well sure they are leo's that's a fire sign you know their birthday is coming up and so i think that's exactly why they gravitated towards that that and also doug accidentally burned a lot of things when we when they were growing up. Before he got better at the grill, it was always on fire. The grill was always on fire.

It was always on fire. He was always, it was always, we would just forget. He would just forget. All of a sudden it'd start smoking. And then out came the fire extinguishers. And I think they saw it enough times that they got used to it. They enjoyed it. And so I think they saw it enough times that they got used to it. They enjoyed it. And so I think they sought it out.

Hmm. So you think that Doug could be responsible for them being— Oh, I'm not trying to point the finger. I'm not trying to blame him for any of that. Oh, no, I'm not saying that. You asked me. Yeah, right. And then I'm—you know, you answered me. And it sounded like from your answer that it was Doug who was—

I mean, it also could be that, you know, that there was, there was a fire in the hospital the day they were born. Now, Joan, I believe me. I know how crazy this sounds as I'm about to ask this. What? Do you think the twins had something to do with this?

You know, there was an hour they were not accounted for. And I thought you lost my babies. And I was like, I knew what this was going to happen to me. You read about it all the time. Doug, the second they were born, he put a Sharpie marker on the bottom of their feet so that if we were handed a baby,

we'd just check their bottom of their feet to make sure there's a big Sharpie mark. And, but, but they, but so he did that and then they took them away. But then, and then they were, and then they were gone. I said, well, can I see the twins? And they said, we're looking for them. They actually said those words to me, to a new mother.

They didn't even try to lie. Nope, didn't even, you could see it in her eyes. She was new. I think she was a new nurse. And you could see it in her eyes. She was going to come up with the lie and that it just came out. It just fell out of her mouth just like that.

And yeah, you know, it's, I think it's crazy. They were just newborns, but what could they have possibly done? I think I'm not even sure it was on the same floor, but I do remember hearing the alarms and I do remember hearing they were evacuating a certain section. Right. Uh, but, uh, yeah, they came, you know, I will say their feet were very black and I knew it was because of from the from the the the right, the Sharpie. But they were a little I don't know. Some of it came off. Some of it was like powder. I don't know. I just chalked it up to I'm not saying it's soot, but I just chalked it up to them being marked on the bottom so that we didn't lose them.

Right. But listen to you. You're making me try to. And this is how crazy this is. My children now are so suspicious that I'm actually trying to work it out how they could have started a fire as newborns. Listen, if there's anyone who could,

it was the two of them. Matt and... Church. Church. Matt and Church. I always forget the second one's name. And, Joe, what are you going to get them for their birthday?

Ugh. I don't know. Now, now this is, you've made some, some questionable choices in the past. You did get them. What do you get for the people who always said whatever they get on fire?

I mean, what do you get for them? Well, you certainly don't get them flamethrowers, which you did one year. I did. Look, I'll, I'll eat that one.

That was on me. So having gone through that experience, what do you think you might get them this year? I was just thinking maybe I would get them. Here's the thing. We've never taken a trip as a family, ever. We've gone nowhere. I've never taken a trip as a family ever we've gone nowhere i've never left dignity falls you've never in your life born and raised doug's never been on a plane have you ever been on a train doug no he's been on the one at the petting zoo that's it though

and he he was so excited. He thought it was so great. I was like, well, wait till you try the real thing. Is it faster than that? The real thing? Yes. Because that was pretty fast. Okay.

Well, only because you have nothing to compare it to, honey, except for that and the go-kart. Regular train is faster than a petting zoo train. Much. So here's the thing. I was thinking I would get us all a trip. It would be partly a gift to a train. Much. So here's the thing. I was thinking I would get us all a trip. It would be partly a gift for the twins.

Yes. Teenagers love this. They love, they love a family trip. They love, right? Do they? I don't, you've never taken one.

I thought they'd love it. As their primary birthday gift, you bet. And I thought we'd go to... This is the trouble of having to ask. That's right. Can we please go to Iceland? Is that where you're headed?

Yeah, we're going to do a cruise. It's going to be so... You're going to take a cruise to Iceland? Yes. Now, why? Can I ask why the cruise instead of a plane? Is it because does someone have a fear of flying in the family? Well, you do have to take a plane. Listen, you have to take a plane because it goes out off of the East Coast.

So you have to do both. So we are going to get Doug on a plane for the first time. Everyone on a plane and then a boat. The boat, I thought, sounded fun. And, you know, it's sort of you don't have to worry about sort of setting up all the rest of the travel in the country. And they take care of all of it. It's a really nice, all-inclusive situation. And it sounded really great.

So you will get to Iceland and then you'll get on the boat and then you will. Well, get on the boat. It goes to Iceland. Where do you get on the boat? In New York. You land on the boat. The crew that comes into New York Harbor, you get on the boat, it goes to Iceland. Where do you get on the boat? In New York. You land on the boat. The crew, it comes into New York Harbor, you get on the boat, then you go to Iceland. Okay, how long of a trip is that?

That seems like more than a cruise. I don't know. You should look into this, Joan. Maybe look into, maybe. Look, I haven't bought it yet. I might not have read all the fine print. Maybe look at the brochure again. I saw cruise and I saw Iceland and I filled in the blanks.

Sure, sure. You want to be honest? I saw all you can drink mimosa brunch every day on the boat. And I was like, that's for me. Because why can't I have part of the present? Why can't part of the present be for me? I gave birth to them. Right.

So you're right. There's probably a couple steps in between boat and Iceland. Well, I mean, it's, it's probably good to keep them away from fire as long as possible. That's what I was thinking. But,

but I think a boat, there's too many opportunities. That's why Iceland is a good choice. Thank you, Doug. Yeah. I think we, I think we were there already,

Doug. No, I'm saying for the fire. Okay. We got it. We got it. Oh, you covered that.

Doug's caught up now. It was, it was applied. I think he's caught up. Yeah. I think it was applied. Good. Okay. We got it. We got it. Oh, you covered that. Doug's caught up now. It was implied, I think. He's caught up. Yeah, I think it was implied. Good. Okay, well, and Doug, now before we go to break, what sort of scenes from movies have you painted on the Easter eggs? Oh, Bert did not forget. Scarface, you know.

Revenge of the Nerds, The Natural. That's not bad. Oh, he loves that movie so much. It's a lovely film. That's it. That's it. That's it. Which scene from Scarface? Because I'm thinking of one.

Well, sometimes he'll do the poster of him. Is that the Scarface? I mean, he's done the poster. So, you know, just that iconic poster. I like the right. Yeah, the poster, of course. But then you're probably thinking of the say hello to my little friend. No, you know what? That's my second choice.

But the first choice was him sitting in front of the big bowl of cocaine. That's exactly what it was. That's exactly what it was. Just a mountain of cocaine. I was going to say that's probably easier because it's less, there's less you have to paint because the egg, of course, is white. That's right. And we bought, instead of green Easter grass, that Easter grass,

I bought white Easter grass and we just put it on top and it was just a basket of Easter cocaine. that Easter grass. I bought white Easter grass and we just put it on top and it was just a basket of Easter cocaine. That's perfect. And it's much like Michelangelo chipping away at whatever is not David in the block of marble. You are painting whatever is not cocaine on the egg. I know he's going to have a hard time following that. Good for you.

Good for you, Doug. I understood Michelangelo thought there was a statue living in the block of marble. He was just uncovering it. I don't know. Well, I mean, we can't say for sure if he thought that David was alive in there. This is true.

This is true. And so he was just freeing him. You can't prove a negative. All right. We should take a break. And when we return, we will have a neighbor of ours from right here in Dignity Falls. And we'll be right back. We'll have a neighbor of ours from right here in Dignity Falls. We'll be right back.

Free. Curly central vacuum with attachments. Haven't used it in years. Please take it, or it is going into the landfill. All right, here. Welcome back. Oh, you want to, okay. I thought you said I could do it.

I did, but I think I forgot because we did it. What we should do is we should do it right before. We should have this conversation right before. We should have this conversation right before. Because this time we had it before we even started recording the episode and i think that's what it yeah anyway okay you know what i have a fun idea yeah let doug bring us back in is that why welcome back oh he was right he had that in the chamber ready to

go oh he's been waiting for his moment he's like i, I know all the lines. I know all the parts. You didn't think I could do it. I never said that. I think he was talking to you, Burt. I think Burt didn't think I could say it. I didn't think it would be as smooth as it was, Doug. I'll be honest. I thought that was very smooth. I gotta say, finding the

announcer voice sexy, babe, I liked that. Oh, he's back to his He's starting to dance again. Oh, there he goes. Squeaking up a storm. Remember, babe, it's hard if I'm not there to balance you and you could still get hurt. So it's a little dangerous

to do it on your own. You need your hand on that hip. That's right. And when you dip, we dip. When we dance, I do the male arms and he does the female arms. I have to do that. Okay, but we do have a guest. So Doug, maybe stop dancing and give that hip a rest.

All right, this is a post sent to us from Gabby. And Gabby says, the subject line, weird experience at Target. Gabby goes on. Today I was at Target around 9 p.m. and a ginger hair lady came up to me and asked me a bunch of questions. I was looking at the Father Day cards

and she came up to me and complimented me by asking where my purse was from and later asked me about my Father Day plans. The conversation kept going, but the entire conversation was really uncomfortable then a girl interrupted us middle of our conversation and said i don't know what this pyramid scheme is all about but i've heard you fake this story to other people in target and she looked at me and told me to stay away and not talk to this girl. Has anyone been in this situation?

I'm so confused. And then she has a description. Person one, hair, ginger, top, blue or green dress, shoes, sandals. Now, we don't have Gabby, but we do have the ginger hair lady from the Target who wants to explain. So please welcome this ginger hair lady and hopefully she'll tell us what her name is. Yes, I hope so. Hello. Hello.

What is your name? Yes. Can we ask you what your name is? Hello. My name is ginger hair lady. Okay. I see. Ginger is my first name.

Hair is my middle name. Lady is my first name. Hair is my middle name. Lady is my last name. So this is just a wild coincidence that your name and your description are the exact same thing. I told that lady my name was Ginger Hair Lady. And she didn't believe me. Oh, so maybe. She didn't believe you. Oh, she didn't believe you.

So then she just, because I'm looking at your hair. Actually, I don't know how I could describe the color of your hair. It's a really beautiful color. Thank you. It's Clairol ginger. Oh, I didn't know they made a ginger colorist. My colorist. Very good colorist. Oh, see what I'm talking about? Burnt sea and he knows colorist means very something that means something very different to us. Maybe I didn't see a colorist. Maybe it was just some person that thought they could tell me how to dress. So your name is Ginger Hair Lady. Yes. And why

can't I see your arms? Oh, I'm sorry. Why are they invisible? Why are your arms invisible? I get this a lot. My arms are not invisible. They are just covered with white hair. So you say. So my hands look very visible, and my arms, I should have rolled my sleeves down.

I apologize. You're like half a ghost. You're like half a Casper. Casper is my favorite ghost. He was nice. Well, he's the friendliest, absolutely. He stuck around a little too long for me, but he is very nice. What do you, what does that mean?

He stuck around a little too long. He had a lot of demands. Casper wanted to go to the dance. Casper wanted to hang out with everybody. And it's like, God damn, you dead. Like chill, you know, Casper was hitting everybody up in the group chat. It's 3am Casper. We got, we in bed.

I never thought about it that way. You're right. I never thought about, but here. You're right. I never thought about it. But here's the thing, though, Ginger, is that ghosts famously have unfinished business. And so he can't rest until he completes whatever task it is that he's supposed to complete. Yeah, but you shouldn't be bothering people when you're dead. You know, we got enough to deal with the living. I agree with that. Absolutely.

Ghosts, do what you got to do, but leave people out of it. Right. Ghosts, if you got to pay your Con Edison bill, if you got to pay your taxes, like leave us out of that. We don't need to be involved. Now, I don't know if this on purpose, Ginger, but boy, oh boy, have you gotten us off the topic of what was actually going on here in this target. Joan, you're right. And so we got to be on our guard, Bert. Because this is what this is what this lady said is that she came up to her and asked her started talking about a bunch of different things now what kinds of questions

did you ask this lady this uh this lady gabby could you tell us walk us through what you asked her listen i love going to target it's where the world melds okay that's when you meet all different types of people ending up buying more than they expected. So I walk around Target giving out baskets and cards because I know that people's hands are full because when you go into Target, you go to buy one thing, but you leave with everything. And I know that, you know, I'm a Target enthusiast.

So you will see people who are maybe, they've been off more than they could chew. And you will come up with a basket or a cart and say, here, put those things in here. I'm the angel of death of Target. Oh. How's that? I would have thought guardian angel perhaps,

but you describe yourself as the angel of death of Target. Yes, you got to help people ease into their demise. Everybody knows when you're going to Target, it's over for you. You're trying to usher them. You're ushering them into the financial depletion that they always experience as they as they finish shopping at Target. I know what you're talking about. But so you're telling me that you were just trying to help this lady. I still would love to know some of the questions

that you were asking her. Do you mind sharing? Listen, I was trying to connect with this woman. I saw her in the Father's Day section. I asked her what she was doing for Father's Day. I feel like we don't do enough for Father's Day. We never, where's the Father's Day barbecue? Where's the Father's Day pool party in Vegas turn up? You know, what are the fathers getting? They're not getting anything.

So, you know, I saw her looking for? They're not getting anything. So, you know, I saw her looking for a card and I asked her what her father's day plans were. Cause you got plans for new year's Eve. Why don't you have plans for father's day? I mean, actually we always do a really fun thing for Doug. I mean, this, this time we, we did a Southern grill for, for father's day. A Southern grill. Did y'all do it in that basketball court? You call a ballroom. A southern grill. Did y'all do it in that basketball court you call a ballroom? She knows about the ballroom. She does.

How does she know about that? Well, it's possible because she, again, I don't want to approach you, Ginger, as assuming that you are part of a scam. But the fact that you've managed to hear some of our conversation now makes me think that she's got some some some tricks up her sleeve. How is it a scam that I have two ears that listen? I just have two ears that listen. That's all. Was I in a bush while y'all were talking? Maybe. But I like to be in bushes. You know, you hear the best thing when you're behind a bush, you know, and more people should do that. More people should get behind bushes and really take time to absorb and listen. You know, it's true.

Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. And you hear the best things when you're in a bush. So, Ginger, you have been accused of there was a there was a third person there who said you were this was some kind of pyramid scheme or something. Why would someone say that? I mean, can you think of any reason why someone would accuse you of such a thing? That's a terrible accusation. And honestly, it hurts my heart, my ginger heart. I get discriminized against a lot. People discriminate against me because I have red hair

and everyone thinks that people with red hair are the devil. And they may be right. I wasn't hair and everyone thinks that people with red hair are the devil. And they may be right. I wasn't aware that everyone thought that. I didn't either. And I'm so sorry about that. It's a widespread trope. Widespread. And when I approached this woman in the Father's Day section, yes, did I talk to her about

some creams that she could be selling to her father? Absolutely. I have a very specific business that counts on fathers. You know, fathers on the up chain, fathers on the down line, fathers fostering business. That's what it's called. Fathers fostering business. Fathers fostering business. But the product is creams?

It's a lot of creams. It is. What do the creams do? The creams keep you creamy and moisturized. And fathers don't care enough about being creamy, you know? That's true. You get on the TV. Have you ever got on the TV?

Do y'all get on the TV sometimes? Do we watch it? We get on the VCR, but yes, we get on the TV. Yes. And when you get on the TV, you see all these commercials with mothers talking about ceramides, talking about rubbing creams on their faces. But what about the fathers? Fathers also need creams.

So when I see someone who clearly has a father because they're looking at Father's Day cards, then I have to approach them and let them know that i have things for their father so okay so then when this person said this is a pyramid scheme and she doesn't know what it's all about but i've heard you fake this story to other people in target what story was it that she accused you of faking? Good catch, Joan. She saw me trying to connect with people, you know, and a big connection that I have with every human being is that they have or had a father because otherwise they wouldn't be here. You need sperm into the egg, you know, so that's a human connection that we all have. So that's a human connection that we all have, whether you like your father, whether your father ran out for cigarettes and never came back, whether your father is in the prison, under the jail, whether your father is in heaven or in hell, we all have a father. So I try to make connections on that so that I can get the father to sell the creams that I know that the fathers need. So do you warm up by asking where the father is and you run through those possible locations?

No, that's the beauty of the card section is I always know where the father is because either they saying happy birthday, daddy, which means the father got a birthday or they're saying goodbye, daddy in a card where it's like, oh, your father died. You know what I'm saying? There's a new section it's like, oh, your father died. Oh, wait.

I'm sorry. There's a new section. There's a new goodbye daddy section. If you haven't been to Target lately, it's sort of controversial, actually. But some of them are quite touching, I have to say. I thought it was just a Father's Day section, but it's just a father's section. Oh, yeah. Where there's any possibility. They got all types of cards.

They got sorry your daddy is locked up. Here's some money for his commissary card. You know, they got sorry your daddy is with Sky Daddy now. You got a Sky Daddy and a real daddy in the sky. That means he's dead. And you open that one and it plays Spirit in the Sky. I mean, they're kind of sweet, some of them. They're beautiful.

Yeah. And you open that one and it plays Spirit in the Sky. I mean, they're kind of sweet, some of them. They're beautiful. Yeah. So you were, okay, so you, but you're approaching a woman who's getting a card for her father. But what we ultimately want, did you say this, that what you ultimately want is for the father to start selling the creams? Mm-hmm. How would you get that done? How do you, how? I make a connection with the proxy of the father.

You know, sometimes it's the mother who was married to the father. Sometimes it's the grandfather. Sometimes it's the grandmother. Sometimes it's the daughter, the cousin. You know, but if I see you looking at father's cards, I know you're talking about a father. So you look for someone who has some connection to a father and then you make the connection. Yes, it's absolutely what I do. Can I ask how many times this has actually worked for you?

Many times. Many times. Now, that woman who came up in the store and tried to thwart my mission to help fathers, you know, she did that out of her own volition because when I talked to her about her father, she didn't like him. You know? And sometimes people don't like their fathers. That's not my fault. I'm just trying to get your father some business. Some work. You know? So they sell the cream, but then you get

a point. You split the profits. How does... I just am very curious about your business model. Yes. Well, look, it's not a pyramid scheme, okay? It is a triangle business, okay? Okay. Okay. That's, all right. I'm stumped, Bernstein.

I don't really know what to say. So let's say it's not a pyramid scheme and we agree with you on that. It's not. And we'll accept your term, a triangle business. Thank you. How do you make the money though? Because that is something that you have that. It's not. And we'll accept your term, triangle business. Thank you. How do you make the money, though? Because that is something that you have not disclosed. Right.

You know, normally I don't disclose how I make money because, you know, capitalism and Jeff Bezos, whose head looks like a cue ball in a pool game. Yes. But what really, what I do is I motivate. I excavate. I contemplate and I relate. That's what I do. And that's how I make my money. Walk me through the excavation process. Please do. So the excavation process is literally what you just were talking about. I go to Target. That's my main source of resources. And I hang around, you know, and I support and I make connections with people, you know, people like to be complimented. When I saw that lady, she had a nice purse. I said, lady, you got a nice purse. You know, I gave her the attention for the purse that she wanted. You don't buy a nice purse if you don't want people to say you got a nice purse I never do I don't buy it unless I want to hear someone

say something about it why would you carry it unless you want me to tell you you got a nice purse this is what is so frustrating about wallets is that you very seldom as a man you very seldom get complimented on your wallet because it's hidden away. You got to start taking it out.

Take it out. Wave it around. Let people see what kind of wallet you got. I didn't know you felt that way, Bernd, about your wallet. But yeah, she's got it. I didn't either. Until just now. Until just now.

So excavate. I guess I'm still a little lost. But so the natural resources for you that you're excavating are just these people that have a father. Mm-hmm. Or a connection to one. Or a connection to one. And you'd be surprised how easily it is to find people who have fathers. I don't know if I'm surprised about that. They're everywhere.

Right. I don't know if I want to write about that but everywhere so then do you talk to these women about the creams? it's not just women I will admit I forgot about the creams

Bert I can't stop thinking about the creams believe me it is all I can think about I have so many cream questions. Yeah, sure. Is that okay, Ginger? Can we ask you more in-depth questions about the creams? Absolutely.

I love to talk about the creams, you know? Did you go on? I was just saying after I excavate people who I think who would be interested in the creams, that's all I do is talk about the creams. So go ahead. Well, I'd love to hear your pitch about the cream. So go ahead. Well, I'd love to hear your pitch about about the creams. That's probably the best way to learn about them, isn't it? Because I was just I would assume you'd give me all the details that would make me say

I'll hear more. Absolutely. So the creams, they moisturize, you know, right? You said that hydrated, you know, and as a human being, hydration is very important. You can only survive, what, three days without water, four days, maybe seven. I think it's three. But now the cream doesn't take the place of the hydration you get from drinking water, does it? You're not saying that, right? I am saying that. Oh, this is a breakthrough. This is a very bold claim, Ginger. Look, I don't know if y'all know, and this is a real fact,

but most of the water intake that you get is from the food that you eat. So when you eat celeries and when you eat tomatoes, which have lycopene and fight cancer, and these are all facts, Google them. You know, that's how you get your water intake. But you can also get it through creams, slathering, slathering yourself in creams. I'm curious, are there any creams you're supposed to take orally that you are trying to sell these fathers? Like whipped?

We do have some oral creams. We absolutely do. I wanted it to be a full body experience with these products. So we have oral creams, anal creams, vaginal creams, eye creams. I'm sorry. Did you also say eye creams? Is this, is this, now I've heard the term eye cream, but now you're sort of suggesting you take the cream in through your eyes? You put it in your eye. How did you're sort of suggesting you take the cream in through your eyes you put it in your eye how did you develop these creams honestly did you develop the cream you don't even

know yeah right well it came to me in a dream um and it came to me in a dream and it was called L'Oreal Paris and then I went to the drugstore and I bought all the L'Oreal Paris I could find and I put it in different containers for what it should be used for. I see. So you developed the creams by buying L'Oreal Paris cream

and putting it in different containers with no labels. She's being very candid right now. I don't know. She truly is. It's not a complicated process, but it's nice to hear. This

seems maybe like a silly question, but you know what? Where did you get the jars? Do they say something else on them? Absolutely. They say ginger hair lady. GHL. You've got a brand.

I like that. So you got those made. I did. I absolutely did. And by made, I mean, I got a Sharpie and some mason jars from Goodwill. Okay. And then I made.

Now I understand. Got the mason jars from Goodwill. So you've got mason jars with Sharpie. It says GHL. It says probably hydrating cream. Goodwill has a lot of mason jars. Are they all different names? What do you call it?

You know how sometimes it'll be like, oh, hydrating cream or overnight cream. Do you have names for them? Yeah, most of the names are dad cream. Dad eye cream. Dad hair cream. Dad vagina cream. Dad hair cream. Dad vagina cream. Dad penis cream. Penis cream?

And that's also a L'Oreal Paris cream? I certainly hope no man has actually applied this to his penis. Can I ask, Ginger, this may be a silly question, but are all these creams the exact same cream? No. They're definitely different creams. They're different creams because they're in different jars. No, no. I understand.

All right. Okay. So you're saying that the power, the being, just the act of being in a different jar is a transitive sort of, yes, they are now different creams. Yeah. You know, the penis cream jar is much smaller than the body cream jar because you got more body than penis. That's very true. Unless you're very lucky. Well, even then, I mean, for it to tip the scales in that direction.

for it to dip the scales in that direction. This reminds me, has anyone seen the movie Zola? Because there's one specific thing that I'd like to ask a question about. I have seen that movie. Oh, shoot. I have not yet. I can't contribute, but go ahead.

Given what we've just been talking about, do you know what I'm going to ask, Ginger? I do not. Well, there was a sort of montage at one point, and you saw various male members. And then there was this one that just seemed like it was a water balloon or something. I didn't know what was going on there. I know exactly what you're talking about. You know, I tried to tell the production company in Zola that they needed to buy more creams because the men's dicks were ashy.

They were ashy and they were dehydrated. And I said, nobody wants to see a dehydrated penis in a movie. Ain't you full? Nobody wants to see that. And you contacted the production company. I did. Wow. You know, people, they get very suspicious of me, which is so bizarre because I have so much in common with everyone that I meet because I have a father.

A father, yes. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. Were you very fond of your father? Did you get along? Because as you said, some people don't. I never fondled my father. Is that what you asked?

Oh, no, no, no. Fond. Oh, boy. You got to be, you know, you got to enunciate. He said fond of your father. Yes, I do apologize if I was a little mush mouth there, but I was asking if you liked your dad. Oh, yes. I'm very fond, fond of my father.

And is he still with us? He is. He's still here on Earth. Wonderful. Oh, and is he still with us? He is. He's still here on earth. Wonderful. Absolutely. And does he use the creams? Oh, gosh, you took it right out of my mouth. Absolutely.

My father slathers himself in creams every night because he knows what's good for him. And I'm trying to get more people on this train, you know. Well, my dad, he loves to play basketball and golf. So sometimes when he's playing basketball with other fathers, I will go there with my creams, offer them out. Now, you shouldn't put creams on

when you have to play sports because it makes everything very slippery. Sure, sure. Oh, for sure. Maybe for after. But now, if your dad's playing basketball, how old a man is he? Oh, for sure. Maybe for after. But now, if your dad's playing basketball, how old a man is he? Oh, good question.

My father is 32. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, wait a minute. This is a bombshell. This really is. Maybe you should ask, Joan, because I don't think it's polite for me to ask. So he was how old when he had you? Two.

I actually think this, this, now I can't remember anything else we were talking about prior to this moment. This has absolutely taken over the conversation. You really buried the lead, Ginger. You really did. You're saying your father, when you were born, your father was two years old. Is that correct?

Did I hear that correctly? Yeah, but it's not as seedy as it sounds. I don't even know if I got the seedy. Seedy is the word. No, it's not that. Maybe completely impossible comes to mind, but okay. It's very curious. I know.

And obviously I'm going to ask how old your mother was as well. My mother, you know, I don't like to talk about my mother. But listen, when I say father, I'm talking about all the people in my life who are men, who are my father, you know? It's not just about biological, you know, you can have many fathers. You can have so many daddies. Well, I'm embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed. I didn't intuit that. But so, so you, you're, when you say father, you're talking about a collection of people. And one of them is two years old. Bernd, you are also my father. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I didn't realize. Wow.

Did that just happen? Or is this? No, Bernd has always been my father. And that's why you need to buy these creams. Oh, I was waiting for this. Well, you know, I am a pharmacist, Ginger. And so I don't really do much with creams in terms of my general health. And so I may not be a customer for you.

I apologize. You know who I think is probably very interested in them? Who? My husband. Wow. And that's Doug. I think so too. He could stop squeaking around on that basketball ballroom floor if he had some cream.

Do you think not? Doug has a terrible hip. Do you think that the cream would help his hip? Do you have hip cream? And when we say that, we're just asking, would L'Oreal Paris help your hip? That's what we're saying. Absolutely. I have a cream in a jar that I can put a

Sharpie on right now to save hip cream. Oh, I have a Sharpie. Oh, that saves you trouble. You can get the cream even faster that way. That would be unprofessional. I have to write hip cream on it. I will do that saves you trouble. You can get the cream even faster that way. That would be unprofessional. I have to write hip cream on it. I will do that for you.

So I guess what we're saying to our listeners is you actually have all the information now. And if Ginger comes up to you in the Target and starts asking you questions, there's no, what am I trying to say? There's no mystery now. So we either know either this deal is for you or it's not. But you can just sort of politely let her know there's no need to, for a third party to run up and accuse her.

Call it a pyramid scheme. Well, it's a triangle business. So we cleared that up. Let me ask you this, Ginger. And I don't, because I don't think we've covered this. Is this your only source of income? Yes, it is.

This is how I make my money, connecting with people who are connecting with their fathers so that I can connect with their father and get them on the up chain on the down line of the cream. Because once you try the cream, you will be selling it to every father you know. All right, then what kind of money are we talking about? What do you charge for a jar of cream? I charge based on vibes. So whatever money vibe you got is what I charge. Okay. Like if you are sensing they don't have a lot of money to give you lower the price.

Yes. But if I sense that they do have a lot of money to give, I raised the price. It's about equity. I'm not, I don't believe in capitalism. I think that's, there's something that's very noble about that.

I think that if our entire world were, we're doing economics based on a vibe system, I think that things would work out a lot better than they do now. Sure. I mean, I love a pay what you can, you know, as long as everyone's sort of honest on what they can pay. Exactly. Does this work for you? Are you able to support yourself? It absolutely works. You know, I'm charging a different price for cream if you have on a fossil watch versus an AP. You know, I know the difference. I mean, this sounds I hate to say it.

This sounds foolproof. It sure does. It's according to her. It is. It absolutely is. And y'all looking very dry. I think you could all use some cream. Well, I mean, if you want to see me, I'm always in the holiday card aisle of Target.

On Sunset. Do you ever do you ever go to any other targets? Is it just this one specific target? Or do you ever go to any other locations that that aren't a target to sell your creams? I have tried other locations. They have not worked out as well for me there's just something about target probably because there's no other store like target where you just go and spend spend spend so much i used to go to the gift card section at papyrus that wasn't working out so

well the hallmark store they told me to leave after several visits without purchasing anything so that's why i like target there's so many people in there getting sucked in by the vortex that is the devil of target and no one pays attention to me lingering now ginger are you yourself immune to the target vortex do you when you go in there to to sell the creams uh well to make the connection to to get people to sell the the creams, do you end up buying things by the time you're leaving there? Every single time. I buy several socks. I bought wine glass markers.

Do you know what those are? That's where you get a little circular kind of key chain to put on the wine glass to see it's yours. I never throw parties. I just put the markers on my own wine glass and i live alone but at least i know it's my wine glass no one can take that away from you there is a comfort in that uh now and how many days a week are you at this target doing this job i'm at that target seven days a week so seven days a week you're purchasing things i can't believe I haven't seen you there. Sunday is my best day, especially around 11 a.m. I don't know if y'all know this, but a lot of fathers die at 11 a.m.

That's a good time. I did not know that. That's a good time. So the fathers die at 11 a.m. People are instantly going to buy cards. They're in shock. What do I do? I have to go get a card right away. That's what they do.

I don't understand what kind of card they're buying. My dad died card. My dad died just now card. I think they might have one of those. They do. You might be interested in knowing. All right, well, you give the card, too, because the dad's dead.

Yeah, exactly. Yes, I'm gathering it's not for the father, that particular card. That's to inform other people of what you're going through, which you'd think would be on a group text or an email, but they have a card for it. Well, I wonder if there's cards that you can, you know, make out to your dad and put in the coffin. Oh, well, that's sort of a nice idea.

People are sometimes buried with keepsake items or nice things that are just a memento that is a connection between that person and the daughter or the son. I don't know. My mother was buried with my father's wooden leg. And it's weird because she pre-deceased him. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Bert. Yeah. So real, real, real wrench to throw into these works near the very end. I'm so sorry. I do apologize. We don't have wrench to throw into these works near the very end. I'm so sorry. I do apologize. We don't have time to get into that. Well, guess what?

We're going to get into it as soon as we come back from the break. Well, Ginger, you know, we wish you the best of luck with this entrepreneurial adventure. Yes, I appreciate your philosophy. I love that you're trying to do something for fathers. I always love someone trying to do something for fathers. I always love someone trying to make a connection with another human being. I hope you can understand why many people it might not be for them.

And so hopefully we'll take it to Everybody has a father. I think I'm talking about the creams. I'm talking about the creams. For some people it seems suspicious that it does seem like a triangle business. I understand that. What I'm just saying is For some people, it seems suspicious that it does seem like a triangle business. Yeah. I understand that.

What I'm just saying is, is everybody, everybody listening. Who amongst you can say you don't have a father? I think that is, I think what we've established is that's not an issue. This is the hill that Ginger's going to die on. Exactly. If you came here to just get that point across, I think you were successful. I think you've done it. One final thing, Ginger. If you could say something to Gabby who posted about you on The Neighbor Habit, what would you say to Gabby?

I would say, Gabby, you know we had a real connection. You love your father. And if you really love your father, you would allow him to meet me so that he could buy into life-changing creams. All right. Well, Gabby, if you're listening to that, I hope you heard that. If you're listening to that, I hope you heard that. I'm going to stand by it. We're starting to talk

in circles. I don't know how that happened. I don't know. It's so strange. All right. Well, thank you very much, Ginger, and best of luck to you, and we will be back with more of the Neighborhood Listen after this. Hi, this is Audrey. Look, I'm looking to buy a ski jacket.

Do you have a ski jacket to sell? It's for a 13-year-old boy who needs to have a snow apron and a? It's for a 13-year-old boy. Needs to have a snow apron and a thumb thing. I don't even know what that means. My husband's making me do this. I don't even... Oh, God. I don't even know that I was recording. Doug, you want to do it one more time?

Welcome back. Oh, I just love it. That one was a little aggressive i'm gonna be putting some cream on him later oh did you pick some are you gonna buy the you're gonna buy the creams no no i just he does have some dry patches and i'm not gonna buy the creams honey because it really is not a good idea and it seemed like a scam right of course i mean of course it is but i i i but i kind of like she kind of owned it. And I think that that was great. We cleared it up, I think, for people when they see, you know, they know what she's all about.

And you could either hang on. She's kind of fun to talk to. But you can move on and continue your shopping. Absolutely. I don't know if we cleared it up, but I do know that people know what she's all about. That's right. Yeah. So speaking of knowing what someone's all about, you mentioned an insane bit of trivia about your life.

Well, you, I'm surprised I have to tell you what I'm referring to. The part where you said your mother was buried with your father's wooden leg. That's correct. But she died before, I believe, pre-deceased is the phrase you used. Yes. So was your father wandering around without his wooden leg for the rest of his life? Well, it's- And was this just something he used for a time? He used to have a prosthetic leg.

How did he lose the leg? Plus, please, just answer the question. Oh, so many questions. So many questions. Well, my father, he lost his leg when he was- Oh, boy. He lost his leg in an escape room and he got his money back. Of course.

Those are hard. And this escape room was when? What was the year of this escape room? Oh, this was a couple of years ago. Oh, so this is recent. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I wouldn't have guessed that your father would love escape rooms at his age. He didn't. And he certainly doesn't. This didn't change his mind. But it was it was it was a gift that that his friends at work gave him. And they thought that he would enjoy it because he likes puzzles and things like that. But he doesn't like doing puzzles in front of people. He he gets very frustrated.

Like if he's doing a crossword puzzle, you walk into the room, he'll start he'll start he'll start just trembling with rage. Oh, he's puzzle shy. He has puzzle shyness. He's got puzzle shyness. Uh-huh. Or he did. He's dead now. And so when my mother died two years ago,

she said she wanted his prosthetic leg. Wooded leg? It was wooden, yes. You said wooden. It's also prosthetic. All right, I just want to be clear, but because wooden is just not the general, especially because I thought this happened a long time ago,

like in the fifties, but the fact that he chose wood. Joan, how old do you think I am? I really don't know. You've never told me. I never will. I think we made a pact long ago. We made a pact long ago.

We became friends. We would never reveal our ages to each other. And I think, I think that is, and it's almost like, don't, it's almost like by not doing that, it's like we sort of say the same age forever.

Isn't that nice? That is nice. Yeah. It's nice to think about. I, what I meant to say is I thought your father maybe lost his leg as a young child. No, no,

no, no. He lost it. He lost it as a, as a grown man. And so, cause when you say wooden leg, it sounds much more,

uh, sort of a crude, sort of almost pirate type thing is what I picture. Well, he was- Brand new prosthetic development they have. He was a little thrifty, my dad. So he didn't want to spend a lot of money on the leg because he was like, well, most of the time it's going to be covered up. Well, it sounds like he didn't.

He sure didn't. And I mean, it wasn't a peg. I'll give him that. Okay, that's the right picture. Yeah, it had a foot. Yeah, it had a foot. No, it had a foot. So are you telling me it just was sort of wooden and then it's almost as if he,

those shoe, those cedar shoe things he put into it. Yeah. So it's just a shoe tree attached to a shoe. It was a jointed stick with a shoe tree on the end. And, you know, and he was right. He always wore long pants. So who's going to see it? So, um, my mom, uh, my mom said, I want to be buried with that because I love it so much. It reminds me of you. And I'd like to take a piece of you with me. What a strange thing to say.

Well, she was a strange lady and, uh, she, she, she had her, she had her ways. And, um, my my dad that was the only argument i ever saw them have and isn't that funny i was i was an adult myself and watching my elderly parents having this argument sure and it's only two years ago as you said yeah and my and my and my my dad said well it's my it's my wooden leg it's my wooden leg and my mom said you're not even using it anymore and which was true because my my dad's leg partially grew back. And so, so sorry, excuse me, Bert, I need to get out of here. I've got some, I, I ironically, I have to go to target to pick up some things. So I need to wrap this up, but this is not ever going to end because now, now there's another, there's another dangling detail. Yeah. Well,

you couldn't have said it better. Yeah, like he lost it. He lost the leg at the knee. And then like, it just like a little bit grew back below the knee. And so the leg didn't fit anymore. And he didn't want to take the chance of cutting it. So he just stopped walking. Just used crutches. Just stopped walking.

Okay. He didn't go anywhere. And how did he die so soon after your mother? He died of malnutrition because he stopped eating after a while. Okay. That's very dark. And now I think we should probably touch on that later. I second that.

It's not a very funny death is it it's not very funny especially for all the silly things that i know it's true uh i do wish my father had died in a more amusing manner but uh don't we all don't we all unfortunately this is now on the record well you know there's probably a card for a father dying in malnutrition in the section where ginger's hanging out i bet there is i bet there is now we always record. Well, you know, there's probably a card for a father dying in malnutrition in the section where Ginger's hanging out. I bet there is. I bet there is. Now, we always like

to do one more post and, you know, we're sort of talking about older folks, grandparents, parents, and here's this interesting post. Unofficial theme

of the episode. Unofficial theme of the episode. And so that's kind of why I thought this would be appropriate. But I just find this a very interesting

set of details to share for people that are not even new neighbors. Maybe they're just new to the NeighborHap. This is from Joseph. He says, hey, everyone. Hand-waving emoji. I'm Joseph. Mary and I are retired empty nesters. We've been in our home since October 1988.

No pets. We fly the American flag and an 82nd-year-old flag on holidays. That's the post. Just a very brief thumbnail bio of Joseph. And unauthorized bio of Mary.

I don't think she was consulted. Very true. But to be fair, he does not reveal many facts about Mary. He's not. She said, I don't want to be any part of that. Yes to be fair, he does not reveal many facts about Mary. He's not. She said, I don't want to be any part of that. Yes. But my big question,

especially after we're talking about your father who just stopped walking, do you think it means they've literally been in their home since 1988, October, and they haven't left? Oh, I didn't take it that way,

but I mean, I suppose that's true. There is such a thing as a shut-in and some elderly people, they're just trapped in there. This is also, I think, some of them might be vampires. But, I mean, they have to go out to fly the flag on certain days. I guess they do.

What are they looking for is what I want to know. Why are these the details they wanted to let us know about them? It is strange to get on the app to announce that you've been there for a long time. Correct. Usually it's like, hey, we just moved to the neighborhood. So that's not what's going on. Yes. These people are doing the opposite.

They're saying, hey, we've been here forever. And we're not, I guess we're not going anywhere. And this is how you can spot us. Yep. And nothing else. I guess. We don't want, we don't say hi. Don't come over.

We're not interested. We don't need anything from you. We haven't seen a coyote. They've from you. We haven't seen a coyote. They've got nothing to add. They haven't lost a tortoise. I don't know. No pets. It says it right there.

No pets. I wonder if this does mean, like, if you see these twin flags, you know the names of the people that live inside the house. And if you see us, you can call us by name. And it just says holidays. They run up the 82nd airborne flag on all holidays. Is this Halloween? Halloween? They do this Labor Day?

Absolutely. Mother's Day? It's not specific. So I guess what I'm wondering, is it a coded message that these people are really... Listen, it hasn't happened to me yet. Empty nest sounds like a dream to me right now. But I do hear that parents tend to go a little cuckoo. And so I'm wondering if that's the clue, empty nesters. So this, this guy, Joseph is just like,

please, Mary's losing her mind. We don't have pets. Can someone step in and help, uh, come by and visit? All we have in our lives is these flags. All we have are these flags. This is all we have to look forward to. Now, how old do you think these people are? I mean, I am gathering that. Now, I'm wondering, is he saying that? I'm not great with my military knowledge. 82nd Airborne, I would have to look it up as to what's specifically significant about it, unless he was part of the 82nd Airborne. I don't know.

That might be an insane thing to say. I just assumed he was part of the 82nd Airborne and not just a fan. Sure. But then I'm thinking, well, then that would put them maybe older because I don't know how many Airbornes there are. I immediately assumed they were elderly people. I did too. Well, you asked me how old I thought they were. Didn't you?

Yes, I did. Oh, okay. So then we were on the same page. Yes, we were. Okay. But I didn't know that until you told me. I felt real put on the spot and I thought, Oh, I have to, I have to bring in, I have to do my, I have to do my discovery and then I have to present my case to the jury and I got to have receipts. I really freaked out. I did not mean that. It's a gotcha. And I do apologize if my tone sounded otherwise.

No, I think that's more me. That's my own stuff. That's my own stuff that I put on that. Well, you admit it. That's good. I will just say, to look forward to your next episode, I have an idea, Doug. I think, and we weren't going to do, I have an idea.

I'm a little afraid to, but I just figured out what we should get the twins. Maybe I'll just take a cruise to Iceland myself. What if we built them? Because we have one room we haven't refurbished yet myself what if we built them because we have one room we haven't refurbished yet what if we built them an escape room they've always wanted to do that I love that okay so we're going to talk about that I can get

started no don't leave yet Dave we're not done yet oh man we really need to do something about that I can't stop this hip at this point okay okay okay all right just stay stay in place for just one second while we wrap this up well thank you everyone for listening uh we are uh you can find us at the neighborhood listen on instagram where we uh we post the uh the posts that we neighborhood listen on Instagram where we we post the

the posts that we talk about on the episodes and you can write to us if you have a post from the neighbor happy you'd like to share with us

for us to read on the on the on the thing are you okay Bert I I don't know I just got suddenly

so exhausted but if you if you would like to write send us your posts tell us what's going on at Dignity Falls any posts that we might have missed you would like to write, send us your posts. Tell us what's going on at Dignity Falls. Any posts that we might have missed, you can write to us at burtonjone at gmail.com

and we will read those posts on the air. So thank you very much for listening and until next week, goodbye. And bye. The Neighborhood Listen is executive produced and hosted by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker.

Our producers are Brett Morris and Judith Cardboe. The show is engineered by Brett Morris, who also plays Doug. Our guest today was Lacey Mosley. The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production. Want more of The Neighborhood Listen? Sign up and get a free month of Stitcher Premium. Go to stitcherpremium.com slash neighborhood, select the monthly plan, and use the promo code neighborhood.