The Neighborhood Listen - My Property, My Mineral Rights with Anna Garcia

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Burnt begins the show with an out-of-body experience, Joan remembers another clip from a movie even though this is NOT a movie podcast, and Doug invites strangers into the house. Today's guest is Garrett (Anna Garcia), who is looking for help from any prospecting groups.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With new McValue at McDonald's, you get more than you expect for breakfast. Like buy a sausage burrito and add a sausage McMuffin for a dollar. Get more than you expect with new McValue at McDonald's. Prices and participation may vary. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.

And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise and character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of...

The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half app and us! Bert!

And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all! And meet new neighbors as well! We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to the neighborhood. Listen, and welcome once more to the neighborhood. Listen, this is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of dignity falls via your two hosts. One of them is me.

And one of them is sitting right here with me. My name is Bert Mia payday. I am a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity Fallsmasy, the biggest pharmacy in Dignity Falls. And with me as always is. I just want you to keep talking. No, I ran out of words. Bert, it's so funny

because I know sometimes we talked about this. Maybe we even talked about in a while. Sometimes when you were doing the intro, you float above your body and just see yourself down below. That's right. And it's been so long since I saw it happen. This time I saw the light go from your eyes. Yes, here's what this one was like.

Take us through it, walk us through what happened. That was like where I was floating above my body, looking down at myself. It was going well. Trying to talk. Mm-hmm. And then, but then my body was looking up at me. Oh, like, Hey, what are you doing up there? Yeah. Oh, you became aware. It was

like a lucid moment. We were looking at each other and then we just shrugged. But anyway, introduce yourself. Maybe the word via is what kind of caused it to happen. Via. You know what? Was the via because I realized I didn't know what word was going to be next. And I couldn't say via the podcast because I'd already introduced the idea of the podcast. We do explore it via the, the neighbor app. That's it. But I felt that was the catalyst. I think in the moment, I was like, it's too early to introduce the concept of the neighbor app. That is later. That comes later. Well, maybe later's now.

Should we discuss it? Wow! Answer song to Morse. Wait, what? How soon is now? Later is now. Bert, you have such a, you have such an encyclopedic knowledge of film and music. I wouldn't, no Joan, encyclopedic. I think so, especially of music. For someone who can only sing one tone, you know a lot about music. You can only sing on one note.

Maybe I just love to hear music, of course. Of course. Not from myself. Because you can hear all the tones when you listen to music. I can hear all of them. You know all of them. Okay, that's good.

That's comforting. At least three. Oh, at least three? Yeah. Okay. Wait, well, I want to get into that. But why don't we? Oh, it was a joke.

Okay. Reference to Joe Biden, who one asked if there was how many genders there were. He said, at least three. You have such an encyclopedic knowledge of Joe Biden. That's the other thing. You know, I miss him. That's the other thing.

I miss him. I wish we had Amtrak here because I'd love to I'd love to have that experience that Joe Biden. It is weird. It is strange about the rail system in Dimney Falls. It was specifically built to go around our town. Yeah, it was not like a real train. Yeah, you have to go outside the town to catch a train. A train does not run through our town. No, it was not like a real train. You have to go outside the town to catch a train.

A train does not run through our town. No, it just runs around it. It just arounds it. It just arounds it. I mean, if you want to get to the other side of town, you can take the train. You sure can. Or you can take the plane that we've established. It's like you can take a plane from one end of Disney Falls to the other. Yes, this is established knowledge. That's right. We do have an internal train that we did a sadless, but Yeah, that's right. We had there we had we had Pam. It was to chew Pam who runs the local tiny children Yeah, it's like a children's size train. I heard she passed away. Oh, no, are you serious? Yes, but then I heard that that was not true. Oh good. So maybe we can have her on a follow-up episode Yes, unless she's a ghost. Well, we've had a ghoul before, haven't we?

No, we had a ghost. Oh, we had someone who, that's right, we had a ghost. That's right, that's right. I don't believe that person was a ghost. You don't believe in ghouls. I do believe in ghouls. Oh, you do believe in ghouls, not ghosts. I do believe in ghouls.

I'm Joan, I don't know if I even said who I was. No, you haven't. Yeah, my name is Joan Predestrian. I'm a realtor and a local actress here in Dignity Falls. That's correct. And my husband was the other person you heard. That's Doug, babe, where are you recording from today? The podcast.

Oh, Doug. Good for you. I see. You know it's Viva, right? Not Via, but that just, it was just fun, right? Right. You were doing like a weird Al. There you go.

You were doing a weird Al. Where are you today, babe? I am in, let's see if you today, babe? I am in. See if you can recognize this. What am I talking about? What do we care? Are you at someone else's? The pickleball court.

You're not. Oh, you're at the pickleball court. Wait, the one in our house? Now it is. Who is it? Whose voice is worth? And why don't they care? Yeah. It's really creepy that you're just recording their game. Yes. First of all. Who are it? Who's voice is worth? And why don't they care? Yeah, it's really creepy that you're just recording their game.

First of all, who are they? We need some people to test it out. Right, but I thought we were going to invite friends over. Why didn't we test it out? Who are those women? Isn't it just lines on the ground? Yeah, and then the rest takes care of itself. They make sure the lines hold. Hold?

Yeah. What did you make them with? Are they salt? What are they? You're trying to keep out a demon? It's white out. I use a lot of white out. You used white out?

Do they even make that anymore? Who remembers white out? I mean, no one knows what that is. Anyone younger than a certain liquid paper. That's right. That would be sad if it doesn't exist anymore. Well, I found a bunch. Why would you? And you can get really high.

Did you get really, really high off that stuff? Because the fumes of that stuff were crazy. Not on purpose. Did you I have to ask, Doug, did you did you paint this pickleball court using white out with one million tiny bottles of white out? Or did you somehow get like a big jug of white? I don't know. I don't know how to get the industrial strength stuff.

You know what I mean? Like the cost of the size. It's not the matter of strength. I also- Sorry, I mean the size. I also have a further question. Were you actually first starting to do the lines with like black pen that you messed up?

And so then you use the liquid paper covered up and start over again and then realized, oh, this works better. No, it's just- Oh, I was wrong. It was white the whole time. Married this long and I was wrong. I've never seen... Got a real no, however from Joe. Is that a t-shirt?

It's okay to be wrong. Married this long and I was wrong. I don't know. Sometimes I get this spidey tingly sense that something's a t-shirt. I get all excited and then everyone's like, no, it's not, Joe. That feels like a front and backer to me, where it says married this long and then in the back, but I was wrong. Right, but if you take too long, you know, if you're walking towards someone, you're not going to turn around to see that back maybe.

If I see a graphic T, I always turn around to see if there's a penis on the back. Okay. Well, I'll take your word for it. Count on it. I've been trapped. Count on it. Yeah.

So wait. I've fallen for that too many times. How about, I don't think that the pickleleball Court A is a great place to... What have you fallen for? Sorry. Just the missing the back message, you know, not understanding the shirt. Fallen for. What does fallen for mean? How did you...

Somebody's tricking you? Well, it's somewhat of a trick. It is. You mean you were just let down because you turned around and there was nothing on the back. Is that what you mean? No, I mean where I didn't see the punchline or the twist. Right. And you just wondered for the rest of the day,

how did that story end? How did that t-shirt end? Yeah. And then do you go to these people and say, you swindled me? I would never. Okay. No.

I would never. But I would say like, good play. You know what I mean? Good play. You got me. If they're walking away. Speaking of good play, can you leave the pickleball please babe? Because I don't, at least let those ladies play. You got me. If they're walking away. Speaking of good play, can you leave the pickleball please, babe?

Because I don't, at least let those ladies play. Who are those ladies and how'd you find them? Oh, they were just walking down the street. And then what'd you say? You just came out of the house and you were like, hey. Yeah, for some pickleball. And they said yes. Yeah.

What? Everyone loves pickleball these days. Who does that? Who just willingly walks into someone's house? I mean, I'm glad that they trusted Doug, but I don't think that's great. It's not great. I mean, even fairy tale children

are more cautious than this. I mean, yeah, exactly. Hey, do you want to play some pickleball? Like walk into a man's house? What is wrong with that? The odds of being- What is this, white lotus? The odds of being in the mood for it at the moment,

first of all, very high, but then also inside someone's house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, babe. I think they're very high right now. What? Oh, because of the, oh God.

So they're having a great time. Okay. All right. That's why this one woman said, what do we care? One of the classic sounds of pickleball. That's right. What do we care? So Berndt, we kind of avoided it last week,

but Gabby was thinking of moving in, or you were thinking of moving in with Gabby, and you were feeling a little bit strange about it. So what's the latest on that? Can we talk about it now? We talked about it. We went to a couples counselor. Oh, good for you.

And we talked about it, and I was really hoping I would win. Win, let me just stop you there. It's not about, that might've been part of the problem is that it's not about winning when you go into couples therapy. There's not like a, it's not like a pickle ball. You know what I mean?

I should not have said win. Okay. Was that just a slip? I was hoping to be the one who was right. Oh yeah. I get the same. It's kind of the same. Cause I think immense might. But you don't say that about pickle ball.

You don't say about who was right. Who was right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't say that about pickleball. You don't say about who was right. Who was right? Someone that would take the sting off of it. That was a pickleball game. Who was right? I was wrong by five points. So. Okay. So, all right.

So first of all, I think you maybe went in with an attitude and an expectation that wasn't conducive to therapy and being open to it, but continue. That's easy to say now. But I did find out, we talked about what my issues might be. And of course I'm an only child of only children. So no siblings, no cousins. Yeah, that's tough.

And I sharing space with someone on a permanent basis. I see. Was very scary to me. Did Connie come up, you know, I don't know if we've discussed him in a long time, but you're- We haven't talked about him in a while. No, my ventriloquist dummy.

Who do you have shared space with? Was that in any way similar or was just, it was different because, you know, he was quiet and good to himself. Joan, I feel like there's a tendency to treat me as if I think Connie is sentient. And I know that he's not. I know that he's a doll.

Maybe it's because you make him sound so vibrant and alive in all of your stories about him. Maybe I'm putting that on him. That's for fun. You know what I mean? I know he doesn't see me. Well, you know what? I think it's good doesn't see me. Well, you know what? I think it's good that you clarified that.

So it feels so good. I'm glad, I'm sorry that I made you think that. I will again next time. Okay. All right, so then what did the therapist say to this? And what did Gabby say to this? Gabby was very sympathetic. She has a big blended family.

Oh yeah, that's right. And so she was able to understand why that would be challenging for me. And then once I once I, you know, figured that out, right, of course, I felt better about everything. I did have to talk about how the fear of sharing space stems from the idea that my parents would let people stay with us frequently who always robbed us. Oh my word.

Every single time. How did this happen even a second time at all? They would, well, because they were very generous people and since they were only children, they felt like we should make an effort to help people who need help. And so they put an ad in the paper that said, free place to stay.

What? Wait a second. What? This is absurd. Yeah, they put it in the, they put it in the flyer. This is negligent. This is terrible. Why is it negligent? Because they have, you know, they have a child at home and they're letting in strangers. That's kind of dangerous.

But they're there. I know, but it doesn't matter. The worst thing that happened was every time they let somebody in there, we got robbed. What things did they rob? Everything. So you just ended up with nothing. How many times did this happen before they said, that's it, we're done? This was eight times.

Oh my word. Over the course of, I would say between the- Please don't say it was the same people ever. There was one repeat. But they come back in disguise. Barely. And it wasn't even a disguise. He came back with glasses, which he needed

between the time that he first robbed us and the time that he came back. His eyes just got a little worse. Wow. I think he just had readers before and then he came back, his eyes just got a little worse. I think he just had readers before and then he came back with progressives. This is, of course you have issues, Burns, and this makes so much sense.

By the way, babe, I hope you're listening because we just let strangers into our house and now they're high, so can you please get them out of here sometime soon? Well, they're not, there's nothing here they could steal. What are you talking about? We have like 150 rooms at this point in our house. Full of all sorts of technology.

What about a coin room? Oh, good point. I'll keep them to the court. Right, confide them to the court. Yeah. All right, but you can't lock them in there. They also have, oh, I do not like the sound of this. Hopped up.

What kind of drug have they been taking? Well, it's the Wyatt out. Oh, you did say that. Yes, it's the Wyatt out. Oh, I did say that. It's the white out. It gets you very excited. I've been serving them cornichons. I have a big cornichon platter. Did you say you consider them cornichons? I've been serving them. Oh, I consider them cornichons. I didn't know what that meant. I consider them cornichons. I didn't want to unpack that.

They're less than nothing to me. I consider them Cornish. Yeah, it was real V comped kind of language. They are nothing but Cornish. They are nothing but Cornish. Now Cornish are the little pickles. Correct. Which also sometimes called mini gherkins if you're in Britain.

But yes, Cornish. I thought they were just gherkins. That was after the Iraq war. They called them mini, mini gherkins. France did not join the coalition of the willing. We've gone from, we took a really wacky turn just now. We were talking about something very, very serious and people entering your home and robbing you of things.

All right. Yeah. I just want to, I want to wrap, wrap this up neatly in a bow as much as I can. How did this session end? Now that you got all of that, what is the- It ended, we're going to try it. Are you gonna go back or- No, we'll go back if we need to. Okay, great.

But we're moving forward with the plans. Great. A big thing from the therapist was that I should take the locks off of several things in the home. Oh, like what? And why were they there if you lived alone? Well, once we started talking about this,

I put locks on things, which you know, Gaby was rightfully a little insulted by. Sure. Like what kind of things did you lock? The refrigerator, of course my jewels. Your precious gems. My precious gems. Your uncaught gems. Uncaught gems. My precious gems. Your uncut gems.

Uncut gems. My pearls. I did not know you kept pearls. Yes, from my mother. I inherited some- Oh, well, I understand. I understand. Interesting.

You call them your pearls though. It's just a phrase. My pearl. I guess so. Sure enough. She's dead. Sure. Sure. Okay. So you're going to take the locks off of those. The refrigerator I think is key.

What babe? What'd you say? I was just saying, well, I mean, they still belong to the oyster in some ways. In some ways. Doug is a real oyster activist. He's really trying to give the pearls back to the oysters. You know? Yeah. He's gone to some protests. Pearl back. It's. You know? Yeah. He's gone to some protests.

It's the one thing they have. It's called hashtag pearl, but he stood outside of the grocery store. Excuse me, can I have a minute for your time for the oyster? People saw the Pearlback shirt and they were like, I don't trust this. I want to talk to this guy. Do you lock your like your toiletries up? I wondered if you lock your toilet. Well, that's that's a habit I got from the drugstore from working at the pharmacy.

Sure. Yeah. I put all my my razor blades. Yes, absolutely. Also, you need the magnet thing to open it. Yes. Yes, yes. Yes.

And and it is, you know, when Gabby would have to call me to say, hey, can you unlock the medicine chest so I can get my Motrin, then I would have to accommodate. So it looks like you're going to have to finally address some things that maybe you've never really faced since you were a child. This is big stuff, Berndt, this is really amazing. It's big stuff and I, you know, there's a certain amount

of it that's difficult because I experienced it. There's no one else around to experience this. Sure. It's just me. So I have to process it. It's just you. Not Connie. Yeah.

Got it. Why is deodorant behind that lock? You don't know in the pharmacies. Oh, there was apparently a guy. I mean, yeah, I know everything's behind that now. Now you have to push the button for everything. Deodorant is the number one stolen item. Really?

From the pharmacy. What? From the pharmacy? Come on. More so than like any kind of cough medicine. Any, I'm telling you Joan, there is an ingredient in all commercial deodorants. Okay. Not antiperspirants.

Interesting. But deodorants. Oh, I know whaterspirants. Interesting. But deodorants. I know what you're gonna say. Well, wait, let's let him answer. What is it? It's delicious. Oh. I'm sorry, are you saying that's the name of the ingredient?

That's the street name. That's the street name. People are saying, I gotta get some of that delicious. If you are to, if you take the, like it's your standard, you know, what we used to call roll on, but you have the little screw, you push it up. Okay. Push up, deodorant.

Yes. Deodorant stick. If you push it all the way out and you cut it with a pen knife, Irish spring style. Okay, sure. Like the commercial. Like the old commercials. Yeah, we're curled with beautiful curl.

Just the most beautiful curl. That looked delicious to me. It actually did, kind of like a minty snack. And they cut that soap, I was like, ooh, I wanna bite into that. I don't wanna just wanna bite directly into it. Then maybe you wanna shower, maybe you wanna eat. I wanna eat and shower.

Oh, you wanna eat and shower? I'm hungry and dirty. Okay, so then, so they cut up, then what do you do? You have to like boil it or what? Once you cut it, you can then melt it down. It has to be broken in order to activate this ingredient, which is dormant when it's just deodorant. Where is it sourced from?

Is this like an opium situation? Does it come from like a plant or is it just like a chemically manufactured? It is an opium situation. And it comes from Afghanistan. It's a great Barbara King Salver novel, by the way, I just read it. The comes from the opium situation. Really riveting. It's a page turner.

Anyway, so it was just a little recommendation. OK, go on. Barbara King Salver wrote that. It sounds more like a Richard North Patterson. She decided to get into the thriller. She got into airport thrillers? Yes, she did. She's like, I don't have an airport thriller. How come I'm not having some news? No one at the airport wants to buy a book about me farming for a year.

I'm all the way in the back. That's right. I want to be up here with the thrillers. The opium situation catches that businessman's eye. He's like, oh, what's this situation? A situation. A situation. I'm in.

I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I want to be up here with the thrillers. The opium situation catches that businessman's eye. He's like, oh, what's this situation?

A situation. A situation, I'm in. I know about those. Okay, so why is it an opium situation? You melt it down and that releases a powerful hallucinogenic. You then, so you boil it in a pot or a pan, I guess. Double boiler, anything, something.

Okay, sure. And you put a towel over your head. Not an air fryer, babe. Not an air fryer. It's a totally different situation. That's not boiling at all. Let's maybe just let him finish. Okay.

And then, can I finish? And then you put a towel over your head and the pot and you inhale, you deeply inhale it. Really? And then you are, as they say, tripping balls. Wow. This reminds me of a movie. Oh no, I'm sorry. I always try to not turn this into a movie podcast.

We do. Again, if you're a first time listener, this is not a movie podcast, but we do talk about movies quite a bit. But I'm gonna, and here's the problem, and this is why I'm gonna deeply regret bringing this up. I can't remember what the movie is, but I'm wondering if you remember the scene.

OK, it's going to be a fish out of water scene. I feel like maybe it's a Tom Hanks movie. I don't know. All I know is some classic F.O.W. Who's classic F.O.W. Some foul is at some party. Wow. It's too old. So is a real foul. You're a foul. Oh, wait.

You would be what? Fish out of. Wow. Because there's the two. Is it real foul? He's a real foul. Look at this foul. Oh wait, it would be what? Fish out of a hole. Foul. Because there's the two of us. Foul. Foul. I don't know what's happening anymore. Is there liquid paper in here?

Because I feel like it. I feel like the fumes are coming down the stairs. Oh, you're asking me? Anyways, what happened is there's a man in a bathroom or a kitchen somewhere trying to snort cocaine. And then instead the person who is a pho-wow is like, no, no, here's what you have to do. Pours the cocaine into a bowl of water, puts a towel over the guy's head and he says, now breathe it in. That'll clear up your sinuses. You know, he ruins his batch of cocaine because he doesn't know what it is because it's either like a Robin Williams or a Tom Hanks.

It's someone who's like, I can't remember. It's a pointless story and we'll probably cut it. But I think what I'm going to do is look it up at the break because it's such a, because at the time I didn't get the joke because I saw it as a child. Right, right, right. Of course. And you're like, what does this guy care?

Exactly. But it's just weird that you describe the exact same method. Well, I mean, it's so much different than cocaine because you will be out of your mind on this. Just by breathing it through your nose. It alters reality. Have you done this before? Because the way you're talking about it almost sounds like you have. You have to do it in pharmacy college. They make us all do it. You had to do it at Mount Olympus? That's where you went to pharmacy college.

That is correct. Which we've established is easier to say than pharmacological college. So you just said pharmacy college. Pharmacy college, yeah. Mount Olympills, when you're in your final year, you have to do delicious. It's like, you know, like doing your thesis, but that's what it is.

Exactly. They say you have to understand how good this feels to know why people are trying to steal this deodorant. Wow. So how, how does that work? Do you all go in together? Do you, I mean, No, that would be a disaster.

You have to go in one at a time. Now listen, when like Marines are going through their final sort of like training, they all have to go in together and get CS gassed at once. They take off their gas masks and they just go into some room and they just get bombed with this crazy CS gas. Like a prank?

No, like to be able to understand how it feels, just like you're describing. Like in order to go forward in this business, we have to explain, we have to understand what this does to the body. So they did it all together, that's why I asked. But you do it individually? Yes, we do because it's,

because of hallucinogenic properties, it's unwise to have a bunch of people just out of their mind. Can you share really quickly, because we probably have to go to a break soon, but what your experience was then when you did it? I saw the devil, and he was adorable. He was a cute little fat devil,

little horns and chubby cheeks. And he said, I'm not so bad, right? Oh, well so far it sounds okay. And I said, you know what, you're not. And then God came in. Oh boy. And God looked like the leprechaun from the movie, The Leprechaun. Oh, that's horrifying. Except in white robes, looked like the leprechaun from the movie,

The Leprechaun. Oh, that's horrifying. Except in white robes, not in a leprechaun costume. That doesn't make it any better. And he said, and I'm not so good, am I? Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. And I said, you guys are just canceling each other out. And they looked at each other. Wow. And they went gulp. And then they turned to dust. That's really powerful. Well, it's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I learned something new today. What about you babe? I woke up in the train station. Oh, you did? Wait a minute, but I thought they were supposed to be monitoring you.

You're at your college. I never said that. Oh, you're just supposed to go do it on your own? To get the full experience. I thought it was like monitored, like you had a guide. No, no, no, no. Oh, that seems very irresponsible. They give it to you at the college. That seems very irresponsible.

They give it to you at the college so you have the complete experience. You understand what it does. They must lose a lot of students. I mean, we're not, I mean, this is no, I'm not trying to denigrate the Marines at all, but it must be nice to just be in a room and stay there and have a little nap. Oh, I don't really nap while their sinuses are being burned from the inside out. Can't argue with that. Babe, is it time to go to break? Yeah. All right. We'll be right back.

We need to really acknowledge that. He just gave us a straight yeah. Well, because we didn't ask him how long we've been recording. All right. That's what I'm going to do from now on. And I was scolded and condemned. Oh, and condemned? Oh, by the women? By the pickleball women? No, for speaking up.

What happened? Just now? When I interrupted you just now. Condemned feels like a very harsh word, babe. I felt the rigid finger of blame. What? Are you on Delicious right now? What's going on? The rigid finger of blame. The rigid finger of blame. Is that like the cousin

to the fickle finger of fate? Indeed. Indeed. Well, we're going to take a break and when we come back, the neighborhood listen will continue. Nicole, great news. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns Early. Oh. Now, April, as we've been talking about, is Financial Literacy Month, the perfect time to start teaching your kids the value of money. And Acorns Early makes it easy with their smart money app and debit card for kids. Acorns Early's Ch early chores tracker teaches kids

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Goodbye! Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen, and we have a guest. Yes. As we do on every episode, we have scoured the NeighborHab, the social networking application for neighborhoods looking for interesting people in Dignity Falls to talk to. With whom to talk. Uh oh. And this week is no different. We have a to talk. Uh oh. And this week is no different. We have a guest here.

This is a post sent in by a listener. If you see a post that you think we've missed and you'd like to send it to us, write to us at burtandjohn at gmail.com, screenshot the post and put it in the attachment. Burt, that was great. And this person did that. His name is Tom Cross.

He submitted this, this is the one we when we missed this in the in search of section. And a person named Garrett says any process. It's okay, don't look at the guy. Don't look at the you above you. You can do this. Garrett says any prospecting groups on here? Money ain't worth nothing no more. So I figured I'd get to digging. My property, my mineral rights is my thinking. I'm down about 20 feet. I'm down about 20 feet, but gonna have to find a way to start moving these dirt and

clay mounds running out of space in my lot. Also need to figure out how to keep these T totalers from the city out of my business. Well maybe we can help. Here is Garrett Garrett. Welcome to the neighborhood. Garrett morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning to you. Good morning. Morning to you. Morning, boys. You know, it's so funny. Sounds exactly like I heard in how that post was written. Absolutely. It was very tempting to do a voice and I felt like, oh, it doesn't speak.

I'm sure, but no, we have the burnt man right here. We have the burnt man right here. Hello. Hello. So I guess first, can you tell me what area that you're in? Cause I know we do have some interesting minerals in dignity falls. Yes. Some that are native only to our town. But what minerals are you looking to dig up?

Wait, one more time. Where am I? Oh, sorry. What'd you ask me? You did. I was confused by that as well. Cause you said, where am I? And then you said what minerals? Oh, I'm so sorry. I guess I meant what area of dignity falls? What neighborhood do you live in in Dignity Falls? Because I would determine what kind of minerals. That's right.

I'm so sorry. No, it's cool. I'm really high from some liquid paper fumes that my husband has been using. It is kind of seeping in. I apologize. That's all right, I do that all the time. Go ahead, Garrett, tell us your story.

Tell us some things. Sorry, what do you do all the time? Oh, I do, I do, I do liquid paper. Oh, you do it. Oh, you do. Like you inhale it? Yeah, yeah, yeah do liquid paper. Oh, you do it. You do inhale it. Yeah. Oh, interesting. What a coincidence. Isn't that a coincidence? It's a real coincidence. So, uh, sorry, can you rephrase my question? Burnt? I think I did it wrong.

Garrett, what part of, what part of the neighborhood do you live in and what minerals are you looking for? It's a two part question. There it is. I'm on Abraham Lincoln Boulevard. Oh, okay. All right. Sure.

Our 16th Boulevard. That's correct. They did him an order. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I know they've got a lot of copper down under. Oh yeah, the mineral part. I'm looking for rubies. You're looking for rubies?

Oh, rubies. Really? I'm looking for, I'm looking for rubies. You're looking for rubies. Really? Now I'm going to tell you, I don't know much about rubies. Do they come from a mine? I guess they do. Everything, all these precious gems come from mines. Sure.

Diamonds, emeralds. Yes, all rocks come from the dirt. Right. All rocks come from the dirt. That is the truth. That is true. Right. Even in the mighty mountain. Started out in the dirt. That is the truth. That is true. Right. Even in the mighty mountain.

Started out in the dirt. That's right. So you say you're 20 feet down. Are you doing this by yourself? That's a long way to go down. What is that? Like just a shovel? Yeah, how are you doing that?

I got a shovel. I got a shovel from Ace Hardware and it's- Shout out. And it's pretty, it's pretty good. I also sharpened it myself. So. Sharpened it. Yeah.

The shovel. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I infer that. And so I can dig probably better than anyone with that. I mean, I would say so, but how-

Because it breaks ground so well. Okay. With one single shovel, you dug 20 feet down. How long did that take? I was, Joan, you 20 feet down. How long did that take? I was, Joan, you read my mind. How long did it take? Yeah. Yeah.

An hour and a half. You dug 20 feet in an hour and a half. Excuse me? Wow. Sharp shuffle, sharp shuffle. I mean, I guess, but still you have to lift up the dirt and throw it. Yes, that's a lot of manpower.

The hardest part is dealing with the mounds. Oh, sure. Yeah, you were saying, yes. Yeah, because they take up so much space. So, yeah, now that we're, yes, let's get back into- Dirt and clay mounds. Dirt and clay mounds. The clay has been exciting.

The clay has been exciting. The clay- The clay- Are you making fun of me? I'm not. I'm not. I really, what I meant to do with that question is get some detail as to why it was exciting. I see what kind of people you are.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We always want everyone to feel comfortable, come as you are. I see what's happening. To be honest, it's almost hypnotic. I find your, your, you know, listen, I have to say, I am a local actress. I find myself sort of emulating people's energy and sometimes their accents. Were you in a musical recently? I was.

Okay. The one about birds. Yes. Yes. I did birds the musical based on the Hitchcock film. Oh, yeah. I saw that. You did? My buddy Clark was in it. Oh my goodness. I didn't know that you two were friends. He was pigeon. Yes, Clark was pigeon. And there were two roles. There was there was me and there was pigeon and and Clark had to actually portray a bunch of different birds as well. But the main one was pigeon. Oh yeah, he was more than just pigeon. Yeah, yeah. No,, there was me and there was pigeon and, and Clark had to actually portray a bunch of different birds as well. But the main one was pigeon. No, but that was his main, that was at the crux was a love story. Yeah. With the big song. Yes. Which I thought was beautiful. I had never seen, I had never seen a musical theater before, so I was really excited. How did that song go again? Well, it was a rap song. Yeah, Clark practiced it for weeks. Which I thought was very odd to shove in there, but now... It's the only rap song in the musical.

Yeah, because it's these two upstart lyricists and musician, Pickwick and paper. And they went to college together. They've done all these musical workshops. You know, they're a big deal. Everyone wants to sing a Pickwick and paper song. They do a lot of song cycles, you know. They're inspired by Pasick and Paul,

who wrote Greatest Showman. And they did La La Land. That's right. Is that true? It is true. Yeah. The Showman. And they did La La Land. That's right. Is that true? It is true. Yeah. The Greatest Showman people did La La Land? I think so.

I actually don't know if they did Greatest Showman. I think it's amazing that you know these shows though. I wouldn't guess that you, a prospector, digging in your hole actually knows about theater. Here's the thing, I went and saw that musical, The Birds, and I really was sort of taken by it. So I've been listening to a lot of cast recordings. I watched some musical movies.

Wow. And you know what? He really calls it the right thing because it's not an album. If it's a musical, it's an original cast recording. Yeah. Thank you for that. All because of your friend Clark? Clark, yeah.

I would say he's probably my third best friend. Oh, and who were the other two? Simone and then my mom. Oh, that's sweet. Oh, and who were the other two? Simone. Okay. And then my mom. Oh, that's sweet. Now, do you live with your mom? No.

Okay. She's far. She's really far. She's far. Where is she? So she's on a worldwide cruise. A worldwide? Wow.

How long has she been at sea now? 276 days. Excuse me. Wow. I'm not even sure. I didn't know they allowed that. Is it the same cruise? How long is the trip total? So it's as long as you want. Oh, right. Really? I just haven't heard of this kind of cruise. How interesting.

You can go for as many dates. Like my mom is currently scheduled for 450 days on this. Wow. Okay. Okay. That must be hard with her being one of your best friends being gone. It's really difficult because the cruise doesn't have Wi-Fi. Oh, really? Oh, wow. Yeah. And then who is Simone? Oh, Simone lives three doors down from me. Oh, great. Yeah, she's awesome.

OK, so do you live alone? Yeah, yeah, I live alone. OK, and what do you do for a living? I dig. OK. You mean in other places, though? I mean, you're not talking about your like, are you paid to dig someplace else? Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. I'm going to be doing I'm going to be digging for a living once I get the rubies.

I I sell mortgages. I'm a laptop. Oh. Now you said on my laptop. Yeah, I know. I think we both heard I'm a laptop. I'm a laptop. And you guys make my mics in again.

No, I'm so sorry. No, no, we were just clarifying what you said and I'm very sorry. Maybe there is a little bit of a delay in what we're hearing. I can hear you guys in real time. So it's just interesting. Where are you from originally? Oh, that's a great question.

I'm from way down South, Southwest, Southwest dignity falls. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. It's a, it's a part of it. Like if you looked at a map of dignity falls, it kind of jets off the down down to the, like, like it looks like Florida. Basically we have like a mini Florida Indignity fall yeah, we call it the Florida dignity falls it is It's the Florida dignity and that's that's where like the French Canadian quarter is yeah good poutine Now, Garrett, what? That's one of my favorite greetings.

Oh, it's so nice. It originated from that area. We can say it again. Isn't that nice? Right? Thank goodness. So now, Garrett, what- We can put poutine on the coffee cups again.

What put rubies into your mind? Yeah, good question. So I was looking, well, so here's the thing, geographically. So, okay, so I was on Craigslist and someone said they found a ruby ring on the street. And I was like, oh, there must just a Ruby naturally found in my area. Like, well, okay, go on, go on. So I assume like rubies must be natural to the area. And so assumption is, yeah.

And I, you know, I haven't found any yet, but I think that I just have to get deeper. Um, have you found, I also love wizard of Oz. Oh, that would make sense. Yeah, the trick with the Ruby is that it was in a ring setting, you know, which means it probably didn't, you know, it was probably bought in a store and someone just dropped it or lost it. Yeah, but they probably bought it around here. That is true.

It could be, yes, but that doesn't mean that they- It probably wasn't mined here. Yeah, it's locally sourced Rubies. Yeah. Okay. You guys are gonna feel so stupid when I find Rubies. Well, you know what? to feel so stupid when I find rubies. Well, you know what, if you do, I will. Uh, yeah. I mean, the only, the only sort of naturally

current, like we know we've had some digs and we've had some, uh, some, what do you mean you had some digs? Well, in, in, in town, diggity falls, it's sad. I mean, that's, yeah, that's exactly what you guys find out when you were digging. Well, no, well, my husband has Doug, his name is Doug, but he's Well, no. Well, my husband has Doug. His name is Doug. His name is what he has done. That's pretty cool. Lots of cans, lots of tabs, like the old 70s tabs that would slice your foot open. Yes. But so what have you found, babe? In the Jimmy Buffet song?

In the Jimmy Buffet song. There you go again with that knowledge of music. What have you found when you because because Doug has, has digged, however you want to say it, into our earth. Doug is Doug. And what have you found? Have you found anything? Doug is Doug.

Doug is Doug. I'm Garrett, it's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you, I'm Doug. Hey. And I have Doug a lot. And there are gems in that, in those holes. What kinds of, take those holes. My man, tell me everything.

Well, first of all, tell me how many feet. Take it away, Doug. I got a good, what do you say, 35, 40 foot? What do I say? What do you say? He wants me to say, but I've never been down there digging with him. Here's the thing. I agree with you entirely.

We own down to the magma in this town. That is my staunch platform that I'm sitting on. Oh wow. Then you are in a great place right now. But I'm telling you, people from the freaking city are coming breathing down my neck. You call them T-toddlers. Well, they are Tetotallers. Oh yeah, let's get into that.

What does that mean to you, that word? Yeah, yeah. Teetotallers. I love that word. It's a good word. It means that they're no fun, tight-lipped, raw brained, no boozers. Raw brained.

Having thawed a thawed in their lives. Such an incredible slight to say so. Raw brained. Having thawed even one thaw. It really is. Raw brained. They haven't had a thawed. That's why their brains are raw. That's how I see them and that's how they act. Wow. And who are they? Like, who are you talking about?

Oh, well, well, I mean, everyone from the city is breathing down my neck. I'm telling you, like city council sort of come for me. I had a representative from the state come. Oh, wow. I know. I know. The mayor has paid. Well, he had he's he was two towns, but he was close. OK. But he was upset when he heard about what was going on with the dig in.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Can I ask you if you have found anything as you dug? Like anything at all that was interesting? I found so much. What'd you find? There's a bunch of porcelain dolls.

Oh, that's a little creepy. Intact? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, no, no. I started by finding the face of a porcelain doll. Oh Lord, I would have been frightened. Cut my finger on it. Oh dear.

And then I kept digging. And about in the same area as the face, I found two intact porcelain dolls, in dress. Okay. In dress. In dress. Okay. And so are we assuming that maybe someone

who previously lived there buried these dolls or maybe just they I would be I would be shocked if everyone Went into their backyard and dug and didn't find a porcelain doll specifically a porcelain doll. Why you found three? There's apparently no more explanation needed, Burns. I mean, I have to concede it is more porcelain dolls than I would expect to find if I was taking it home. Same, same. I don't know, but I noticed, Garrett, I think you have a tendency, if I may,

to extrapolate from a- I don't know that one. Well, that's, you sort of say, okay, found a ruby ring on the ground. Yeah. You found one? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's doing a, he's just, he's repeating what you said.

Oh, sorry. Yep. I'm doing at least a loop. You say that you found a ring on the ground. There must be rubies around here. Sure. You say you found three porcelain dolls in the ground. They must be all over Dignity Falls.

I agree. Note, well, you agree because this is what you said. But I mean these are big leaps is my point. Yeah okay and anything else about that? Well I mean okay let's confine it to the rubies just for now. You say you have a laptop. Have you done any research into where rubies might be and how easy they are to find? Oh, interesting. That is a good question. I texted my mom. Okay, that's not okay.

But I thought you said that she didn't have wi-fi. Yeah, it actually hasn't responded yet. Oh, okay. Well, that's as far as the research has gone, I guess. So until you hear from her, it's full steam ahead. Well, that's right. She the research has gone, I guess. So until you hear from her, it's full steam ahead. Well, that's right. She's going to know better than anybody. Because we really I mean, we are known for having we are known for having some naturally occurring minerals.

I mean, we have a naturally occurring styrofoam that many people have dug down and found. Sure. We have a steel wool quarry. What was it? Steel wool quarry. Say that three times. Steel wool quarry. Steel wool quarry. What was it? Steel wool quarry. Say that three times fast. Steel wool quarry. Steel wool quarry. Steel wool quarry. Steel wool quarry.

It's just not been a good business because nobody can say it. Right. But I've never ever heard of someone striking rubies in the ground. No, something valuable? No, I've not heard about that. Well, that's just a matter of time. I don't think anyone's been digging quite as fast as I have. It could also just be a matter of it that they're not being here, you know?

So you guys aren't dreamers? Well, I hate to be put in that box. That seems unfair. But I mean, I would say it's practical, you know? And but I really, man, I really am still just shocked that you were able to dig a 20-foot hole in an hour and a half. Yeah, where's Dig? Dig? His name's Doug.

Oh, dig, Doug. Okay. So his name's dig, Doug. Dig, Doug. It's one of his favorite games. How fast do you dig? Not as fast because I didn't sharpen my shovel. It's all about sharpening. But when he was digging, he did have the soundtrack back then. I think I did.

Banging, banging, banging, banging, banging, banging, banging, banging, banging. Okay. He said it helped him get in a rhythm. I think I did invent a shovel at one point. I think I did talk about that. You think you invented a shovel at one point? Yeah, like I'm pretty sure on the show. Doug Feetsey invents things all the time.

It kind of shot out, you know, like a lightsaber. Oh yes, I think I remember this. That sounds so awesome. Yeah, I just did not throw the dirt far enough. Just went in my face, mostly. Got it. What'd you end up doing with your... What'd you end up doing?

That's inconvenient. What'd you end up doing with all your mounds, my dude? Yeah, Doug. This is a problem with Biggie. What did you do? Did you have any clay? Which was awesome. The clay was awesome.

Yeah. Everyone agrees that the clay is awesome. The clay is really good. What is it about the clay that you did? There's something so exciting about hitting the clay. There's something really thrilling about getting that the clay is awesome. The clay is really good. What is it about the clay that you took? There's something so exciting about hitting the clay. There's something really thrilling about getting to the level of clay.

Really? I would think it'd be harder to dig through and that would be not exciting. It is harder to dig through. So I have to have a sharp shovel. You have to have a sharp shovel. It's really rewarding and you can build stuff out of the clay. OK, that makes more sense. Build stuff. Yeah. What did you build? Sculpture. OK. Okay, that makes more sense. Build stuff. Like what did you build?

Sculpture. Okay. Sculpture. I guess it counts as building. You can do claymation. Yeah. You could, well, yeah. That would take some time.

Not if you sharpen the clay. Okay. It's fine. Well, you got the clay. Clay is a very important one. I do love claymation. I love it. I love it so much.

Wallace or grommet. Wallace or grommit, either one. Yeah, isn't that? Teletubbies. Did you do a claymation of Teletubbies with the clay? No, aren't those little guys clay? No, they're not. Why wasn't under the impression they were?

There were people in costumes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No way, those guys are like one foot tall. No, no. Oh, I think that they're men in suits. I think that's a little movie magic. Yeah. Or women. That people watch's a little movie magic. Yeah. Yeah. Or women.

That people watch while they're doing delicious. So, okay. So the clay's exciting. We've established that. Sure. And so what would make you decide, guess what? I think there might not be rubies in here and then you would move on to something else.

Well, here's the thing. And I'm going to be completely honest with you. Please. Yeah. Finding a ruby would be awesome. Sure. I've now grown a big passion for digging. Okay. I said you wanted to do it for your living now after this. Yeah exactly. I want to do it. That was contingent on you find the ruby right? That's what you had said. So so. That once you found the rubies it would then become your profession. Yeah because I need to prove worth. Okay, so what happens if you don't find a ruby?

I'm gonna have to figure something else out. But you can think about that now. No, I have to find the ruby first. I think you really need to find a ruby. Once you got rubies, you don't need a job. See, I think that's what he's betting on, but that's like expecting every lottery. This guy gets it.

How old are you? I'm up there. You and me both, brother. Been around this block a few times. Nice. I feel kindredship here. Kindredship. Now, I almost called you Doug.

Garrett, I do think, and this is, I'm not trying to talk you out of your passion for digging. Okay, you guys sound like some of those teetotallers. No, no, no. I don't want to be labeled a teetotaller. Look, I sometimes will drink an entire handle of vodka by myself. Yes, this is true.

I've seen it. Fridays. It's my Friday jam. Dark stuff, dude. I think you can dig, but I do think that it's good to have just an idea of what to do in case this doesn't pan out. How long are you going to give it before you say? Yeah.

Yes. Well, I want to make it to 200 feet. What? Okay. That's a lot. Although I was going to say it's actually not going to take him that long. It's not going to take me that long. But if I can't find anything and I'm trying to get,

I'm going 200 feet deep and then 40 feet wide. Whoa. So the whole yard. That's the part where. So the whole yard, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I know that you said that, I'm so confused as to how you are able to support your lifestyle right now because you said that your job will be digging. What do you do? Good question, Joe. What did you do before you started digging? I sell mortgages on my laptop. That's correct. So then let's get into that more.

But you have a laptop. No, I'm clearly not a laptop. Are you successful at it? Because it's interesting, you know, I'm a realtor. I just haven't, I haven't been familiar with your- That's a great question, I think, to ask anyone. When they tell you what their job is. If I'm successful at it?

Are you successful at it? Yeah. I'm only asking because I'm a real turn. Maybe I want to, maybe I want to work with, let's not just confine it to show business. I think anybody you should ask and, and are you successful at it? I would be, why did showbiz come up? It seems like it's a question that people ask people in show business a lot if they don't know who you are. Well, when I found out you were an actor, I almost asked you if you sucked ass or not. Oh, well. Well, I'm in Dignity Falls,

so maybe there is a little bit of truth to that. I don't know. Joan, you're the top, you are the best actor in Dignity Falls. Sure, but. Hands down. What about my, hey, hey, hey. No offense to Clark.

Clark is great. Clark was incredible. He played 17 different birds. He spit those pigeon rhymes so, so great. He really incredible. He played 17 different birds. He spit those pigeon rhymes. So, so great. He really, he nailed those pigeon bars. Doug immediately went to a rhyme for the word pigeon. What was it babe? Smidgen. Okay. Yeah. That's the only one I could come up with. Friggin. Friggin. That's what he calls going for a snack in the middle of the night.

What do you think? Legion. Legion. You can make it work. I made him a sign called says has gone fridgin. Fridgin. Women love him. Fridges fear him. So sorry. I didn't mean to. Okay. You don't have to answer that question. What I do want to know is- No, I would be offended if I wasn't amazing, but I'm so good. Oh, that's so great. Yeah.

Well, maybe I'll have to, you know, I love to always have people's recommend, you know, to any client. People are looking for an escrow company or mortgage company you work with. What is your, do you have a company name or is it just your name? No, it's a company that I work for. Oh, okay. Where's the company? It's called Hanks. Oh, okay.

I think I maybe have heard of Hanks big mortgage house. Yeah. Oh, right. I have seen the building. Right. It used to be a bakery. It's a gigantic muffin. Oh, that's actually a big topic.

Good to be. Why is it shaped like a gigantic? Well, because it used to be a muffin warehouse. Right. Muffin warehouse. You know the muffin warehouse that we had. I forgot about the muffin warehouse. They don't bake the muffins there,

but they keep the muffins. No, they keep them there. And I remember you'd buy one and it would say stored with pride at the muffin warehouse. Yeah, there's a seal on it and everything. You know, that's where it keeps from. They're really bragging about it being stored there. Well, apparently it had the ideal humidity and temperature,

which is very difficult to achieve. Yeah, really hard. To keep muffins moist over the course of like a decade. Yeah. Right. Because you would see the date on it. Yeah. Yeah.

It would not have an expiry date. It would have the date baked. Yeah. The date baked and then the day they started storing. 1986? I remember they put the muffin dress, they just put that on everything. The muffin dress? I'm sorry. The paper, the dressage. Of course my husband would call the paper the dress. I've never heard you say that babe. The muffin dress.

The muffin dress. Oh my goodness. What are they called? Paper cup? Yes. Sleeves. Sleeves. Yes, your sleeves. Certainly not a dress, but you know. No. But it's beautiful to think of it that way. It sure is babe.

On all the doorknobs you had to peel that off and the way they store the muffins, there was like multiple layers of that. There was, yeah. They did a documentary on it a while ago. Oh, the doorknob. He means in the storage. In the old muffin stores. For sanitary purposes. Okay. So I've never been inside. So the idea was, I really do have to get clarity on this. I haven't ever been inside. So the idea was, I really do have to get clarity with this. So the idea was in the muffin warehouse itself, there would be those paper things on the doorknobs

and you'd have to peel those off before you could turn the doorknob. Okay, then we can move on. And they did store muffin tops as well. They did also sell exclusively muffin tops. Two people for muffin tops as well. They did also sell exclusively, you know, muffin tops. Which two people with muffin tops. They said this is only for you guys. Yeah.

And that's ultimately why they went out of business. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Cause I don't know if people wanted to- There's just a bunch of bottom hats. They didn't want to show up there with their tightest pants on. Yeah.

Decapitated muffin bodies in their dresses. I mean, that's just, it's bleak. So, all right. So now I understand. Now I have an idea of where you work. And then the other question I had was, when did you post this? I don't know if we saw the date on there.

Have you heard from anybody else that has found other minerals? Because that's what you were asking, I think, right? Yeah, I was asking if there was any fellow prospectors. I've heard from two people, which is really thrilling. Well, the first person was like, kill yourself. Oh, that's not very strong. That's that's, is that all it said? Yeah, that's it.

Oh, I'm not sure that that counts as hearing back from two people. Kill yourself. That's horrible. Because you expressed a desire to find... I think it was my across the street neighbor. Really? Why do you sort of have an ongoing contentious relationship with? Yeah. Jami's upset because every time. What is it? Jami?

Jami? OK. Now, in that case, in that case, we heard correctly. Yeah. Yeah. Jami. Jami is upset because. Is that short for something? Like Jamison? I don't. I've never asked. OK. But yeah, Jami, it's J-A-M-M-I. Oh, okay. Okay.

So Jami is across the street and has never been a fan of any of my sort of excursions or adventures, but has- What are some of the other things? Yes, I'd love to know. Cause do they affect- Excursions. Do they affect Jami's life in any way? Well, sometimes it's loud.

What's another example of one of your excursions or adventures? Well, I tried to cook an entire meal on the hottest day of the year on the sidewalk. Oh, like, you know, frying an egg on your car, et cetera. Yeah, but I wanted to do a turkey. Oh. Wow, like a Thanksgiving turkey on the sidewalk.

Yeah. That doesn't sound appealing. Did it work? No, and then because it didn't. No, and then because it didn't work, I abandoned it. So I left the turkey on the sidewalk. Oh dear. Oh goodness.

Which Jammie was upset about because she could see it. Oh. Sort of getting ravaged by the local creatures and stuff. Oh dear. That's. Those local creatures. So is it just the turkey, just the turkey on the side? Or do you have like other fixed things on it?

No, no, no, there were mashed potatoes. Gotta have the sides. How'd those do? Mashed potatoes and green beans. And I also did a bread pudding. The green beans actually turned out not bad. Okay. I do feel like it would be hard to bake on the sidewalk, much less cook.

Yes. Yeah, but I had like three magnifying glasses all supporting it. Okay. Trying to picture this as just something else. I can see why Jammie might've been upset. It's a little unsanitary really, you know, just some raw meat. I'm just saying not if you cook it. Sure. In the best situation you will have cooked it. Okay.

So I don't like the fact that you got a first response that was just that kill yourself. What was the other one? It was signed. Jammy. Oh, it was definitely jammy. Okay. Who was the second one from or what did it say? The second one is a person I didn't, I hadn't, I had never even heard of her name was Emerald. Oh, promising. Um, and she was like, we have, we have meetings. Um, we have meetings of, of people that are trying to find like precious material in the town. So you are not alone. There are other prospects. It seems to be that there's at least two others. Emerald was implying that there's a group that

meets. So I guess two or three others. Did she invite you to a meeting? Yeah. Oh, did you go? Yeah, I went to the meeting. What happened? How many people? It was on Sunday. Oh, this is so exciting. It was in the church basement. Okay. Okay. What about it? Yes, would love to hear more. Less logistics, I guess. It started at 2 30. Oh, okay. Can we skip ahead to how many people were there and what they said? Can we skip ahead to how many people were there and what they said? Yeah, so we got out by 545. Uh oh.

But that's a long meeting. It is a long meeting. We had a lot to go over. Like what? Oh, well, we talked about we talked about the best kind of minerals to find, how deep you need to dig. Okay. Right. And what are the best ones? Well, the best ones are just quartz because quartz is incredibly versatile. Oh, okay. Yeah. And have, what did people say they had found here in Dignity Falls?

People have found tons of coins. Oh, okay. A lot of coins. People have found a lot of trash, but we have had some. How about porcelain dolls? Well, what's crazy is that Emerald and Stephen, both of the people at the meeting, had found porcelain dolls. We haven't heard about Stephen yet. So they both found porcelain dolls in their property. The three of you separately found porcelain dolls in the ground.

Now it makes more sense that you were saying earlier, you know, like you were aware that other people really have found them. Stephen only found a leg. Oh, okay. And then Emerald found three. Legs. Dolls. Okay. Three fully intact dolls. Yep. Wow. Close to me. This is a little bizarre. Um, and so do you feel like you got what you needed out of this meeting?

Would you stay with these, this group of people? Is this your place? It's going to become a monthly thing. I think. Um, Steven said he's going to bring donuts from happy's donuts, which is ironically in an old mortgage building. That's correct. That's correct. And then we're probably going to start, we're going to move the meetings a little earlier. So they'll probably be at like 130. Okay. And then back to the logistics. I don't think we need to know that.

But I did, I'm interested hearing about that meeting. I'm glad that you did kind of, it looks like this is maybe one of the few instances where someone put a post on the neighbor app. Someone responded, we'll forget the first person. And that second person provided a community for you. Absolutely. I know. And now it doesn't mean you're necessarily ever going to find a Ruby.

I don't think that's ever going to happen. No, but, but I'm so glad that you have found a community. I think that's great. Yeah. I would say that, you know, it's hard because I've got such three close best friends, but Emerald and Steve do seem like people that I'm excited to get to know. Cause I have found the digging experience to be,

while inspiring, very isolating, because it's just you in the dirt. It's you in the shovel. Well, especially you're 20 feet down now at this point. So that's, I mean, how do you get up and out? How do you get like out when you need to? So I have, I have been using my arms and legs. You don't have like a ladder.

That seems very dangerous. You've just been clad. Wait, what? I mean, I will say, I hadn't mentioned it because I don't usually, but like, you are jacked. I mean, like your arms. You're a terrific shape. Well, thank you for saying that.

Thank you for saying that. Scurrying is a great workout. I don't think it's, I don't think you're scurrying. Yeah, I'm not sure. That's a, it sounds grueling actually. There's no speed to it unless, I don't know, I guess you explain it. I'm not doing this're scurrying. Yeah, I'm not sure. That's a straight up a grueling actually. There's no speed to it unless I don't know. I guess you explain it. I'm not doing this exorcist style.

This is not, this is not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You, when have you scurried my brother? That's, that's how I got out of, out of the whole. You scurry babe. Yeah. Maybe when you were digging for it. I don't know the exact definition of scurrying. I don't think you do.

I just felt it was just... It's not something you do going up. Yeah, it's something you do to satisfy. I just think of all fours kind of wildly. I just say 100%. Yeah, it's the thing that animals do. But they're on the ground, not in it. Yeah.

Gotcha. Sorry to burst your bubble like that. Yeah, no, I'm sorry for messing that up. A squirrel can scurry up a tree. No, you're right about that. But humans don't scurry up. No, not generally. We can't do it. So you have to, you have to gruelingly like, like get a handhold in the dirt.

Which I imagine, I mean, can you get find purchase in sort of this loose clay and dirt? Well, in the clay, since I've reached clay, it's sort of sculptable. So you can, you have been able to make grooves, but once it gets to the loose dirt, that's that's sort of a speed thing. That is a screwy moment. So you have to get like a good head of steam going on the clay. Uma Thurman, Kill Bill kind of just like we didn't really understand how,

but you got out of that dirt. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never seen that movie, but oh, it's great. I have and I don't remember that. Because you can remember when everyone, remember when everyone in every show and everything did slow motion walks for well up to now, yes, still because of that. Do you know what I like that's still happening in movie trailers is this?

Yes. As a tidal wave crushes a city. Moo. Yeah, yeah. Or a loud car. Love a loud car. One of my favorite things in any show is a car accident that just comes out of nowhere. And it's so loud.

And the high-pitched ringing. Yeah. We could do a whole other podcast about that, but I think this one is done. I think so. Garrett, I think, that's a great segue joke. Wow. Garrett, I don't know,

I hope we helped amplify your message. Yeah, because you know what people, you might get some more people showing up to the meeting. Did you want to tell them what church it was or maybe what street it's on and how to find them? Yeah, it's our church in Little Bethlehem. Uh-huh, in the basement. It's on the corner of

Taft. Yep. And it's Taft. The Taft curves. It goes in it. Right. Taft actually goes in a square. Goes in a square. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's in the basement and we're going to start meeting. Like one thirty. Well, we're thinking one thirty. Okay. Depending on when Steven can get, get the, um, don't don't it's because that place closes from 12 30 to 1 30 for lunch. That's right. It kept the mortgage hours. So we're trying to figure out if he can get in a, maybe a little bit early to get the donuts.

So then he will be meeting us maybe 1 35, but I'll be there with Emerald. You know what? This kind of scheduling is just going to be just right for some people. You know, people, some people are going to really love this type of detail. They really will. For sure. But I mean, any perspective prospectors. Correct.

When you say he's going to get in early, he's going to get in early to where? Because 135 is after the meeting starts. Right. So he'll get, we'll see if he can get an early to Happy's to get the donuts. You know, because sometimes when you return from- But he wants to get there, cause it's there on lunch from 1230 to 130, right? So he wants to get there at 1225.

Right? I think he wants to get there an hour earlier. He would need to get into Happy's Yeah. At 1225 to order a dozen donuts. He's trying to get to Happy's at the tail end of their lunch break. Oh! He's trying to get to happy at the tail end of their lunch break. Oh, I love their lunch donuts.

Delicious. But it's, but the terrible thing about the lunch donuts is they look so good, but you, they're closed. So you're looking in the window at them eating lunch. Donuts. Yeah. Here's the thing. They're there.

And Steven knows one of the people that works there. So he's okay. That's the thing, they're there. And Steven knows one of the people that works there. So he's open. Okay, he has an in. Yeah, he has an in because he went to summer camp with one of the people that works there. And so they went to summer camp like two hours outside of town. Okay.

It just went for two hours total. That's what I thought. No, I think they went for a week. Oh, that's a good time. And it was a sleep away camp. So he's probably gonna knock on the window, see if he can get some of the donuts, bring it to the meeting,

which we'll probably start 10 minutes late. This sounds like a perfect plan. And I wish you well in this. And I'm really glad we met you, Garrett. That's really nice. Thank you for coming in. And it sounds like you and Doug are maybe gonna, I don't know, hang out and dig together sometime.

Let's do it. I'm a shovel brother. I'll show you some techniques because if you want you to get it sharper, And it sounds like you and Doug are maybe gonna, I don't know, hang out and dig together sometime. Let's do it. I'll show you some techniques because if you, when you get sharper, you'll be, you'll be surprised. Like you'll be surprised. You'll be surprised. I think it's going to be good. You guys are, you guys thought you guys might at the beginning might've been T-toddlers,

but we're not. Oh, I'm so glad. Came around. There you go. And I would, I would consider investing in a ladder. Agreed. Yeah, I'm so glad. Came around. There you go. And I would consider investing in a ladder. Agreed. Yeah, but if you say rope.

But I'm really sure. For what? To get out of the hole. Yeah. If you get deeper than that, I worry about you. I worry about the ground caving in on you. I really need you to make sure you build that up. I would hate for you to befall the fate of our friends, Miles Teller and Anya Teller-Joy

in The Gorge. Oh, on Apple TV Plus. That's right. Ah, shut up. All right, well thank you so much, Garrett, and we're gonna take a break, right? That's right. We'll be back when The Neighbor Listen,

when The Neighbor Listen returns. Bye, everybody. ["The Neighbor Listen Theme"] Hi, everybody, it's Anastasia and I have these grape-shaped salt and pepper shakers that I am selling for $10. Decorative grape cluster design. Now, as you can see, these are clearly two bunches of grapes with leaves. Okay?

My four sons at the dinner table every night when we sit down just comment on how they look like a pair of testicles. I can't do this anymore. I absolutely can't. And so now I'm going to get rid of them again. $10, $5 for each ball. Thank you. And welcome back to the neighborhood list and well. for each ball. Thank you. And welcome back to the neighborhood listen well. I thought it was a fun. Garrett's fun. I mean, I'm very, very worried that he will literally be

buried in his own yard. Oh, 100%. It's a miracle it hasn't happened yet. It's going to happen though. But hopefully one of these other goofballs will be there. Goofballs. Throw a line down. It's fun to call people goofballs sometimes.

I mean these are goofballs. These people think they're going to find room. We reach a certain age and call someone a goofball, right? I like to think so. I like to think so. Let us have something. But I mean, the porcelain doll thing is interesting. That is a little, I mean, it's so very dignity falls, right?

You know, it's like, and I'm sure, and I, you know, I don't want to really be on the nose of this, but I don't want to dig deeper into that because it probably is a dark story. Well, there's no way it's just an innocent coincidence. There's nothing about that story that makes you go, oh, that's charming. You know what I mean? That's not what it is.

It's not charming. Oh, cute. Oh, fun. Oh, you all found porcelain dolls? And Doug, what did you say? So that's finding a ladybug. You know what I mean? Not a porcelain, not multiple porcelain dolls and legs.

If you find a ladybug under the ground, I think there's nothing to write home about. I just meant, it doesn't have to be under the ground. I just meant a fun discovery. It's a ladybug anywhere. It's true. What were we gonna say, baby? Oh, I never found a porcelain doll.

I found a life-size porcelain. Like a mannequin? It was a Pazuzu. Oh no. You found a porcelain Pazuzu? Yeah. No, this is a demon thing. You know I hate thisuzu. It was a porcelain Pozuzu. Yeah. No, this is a demon thing. You know, I hate this.

The demon from the exorcist. No, I don't appreciate this. We can't, we can't talk about this. You know, I don't like this. Why does it have such a cute name? That's why I never mentioned it. Why does it have such a cute name? Pozuzu.

I know. It does. It does sound like a, like a delicacy, like dessert from some other country that becomes real popular. He kind of has a cute. Now we finish with the Pazuzu. I guess it makes me think of Pazuki. Now I'm hungry. He kind of has a cute face.

My mouth is watering. It sort of has a Looney Tunes-ish face on Pazuzu, on the statue. It is? Oh God, I don't even want to, please don't show me a picture. I don't- We will not show you. Did you get rid of it? Please tell me you got rid of it because if you didn't. The twins are going to use it as a question.

Yeah, I left it down there. I didn't want to touch it. That's fantastic. I did expose its head. You should. What is that? Oh, is that a thing? Expose its head. Well, is that how you defeat Pazuzu?

I don't know. I don't know. Is that how you activate Pazuzu? Yeah, I don't know. No, not activate. Or yeah. Let's not worry about. Yeah, let's worry.

Yeah, let's worry about those women. What is going on with them? I can't believe they played this entire time. Oh, it sounds like there's new people now. Oh, this is a completely different one. Yeah, they invited all their friends. Why is there a helicopter? Did somebody say, auction?

Why is there a helicopter? It sounds like it's in the house. Okay, it's getting closer. That helicopter is very, it's getting closer. It's very low. It's very loud. Oh my God. You know what's funny? I never thought of a helicopter

as one of the sounds of pickle ball. Me either. Now all I hear is helicopter. What is going on? It's really taking over everything. People really complain about the sounds of pickle ball. That's why. So the helicopter drowns that out.

It's just the helicopter sounds. So you just pumped helicopter sounds into the room? Why? This makes no sense. It's sort of a combat pickleball or battle pickleball, I call it. Battle pickleball. What does it mean? Oh, it just got louder.

It just got worse. Just so you can really hear what's going on. Is that an industrial fan? Oh, that's great. We'll check back with you later, Doug. That one hurt. That one hurt. It sure did.

Turn off the helicopter. Sorry to our listeners. We'll check back with you later. That one hurt. It sure did. Turn off the helicopter. Sorry to our listeners. We have one more post here. Yes. Let's do this one.

This one is from Sergio and it just says, I have a small kid's desk. It's white. It's used. Could be cleaned up a little. If anyone wants it, let me know. Send me a message. I'll send you some pics if you want to see it.

There's no picture. Which no, and that's kind of like a weird thing I'll send you some pics if you want to see it. Which... There's no picture? Which, no. And that's kind of like a weird thing to request a picture of a dirty used kid's desk. What's weirder? Why is there something so unsavory about this? I know. Is it weirder that somebody would want this? Yeah.

Or is it weirder that he's saying, if you want this, I'm not going to show you a picture unless you ask. Yes. I think the second. Yeah. I think there's something very upsetting about, I mean, maybe he just really thinks that he only wants to deal with people who are serious about getting this worthless desk.

Which a kid's desk, does he mean like a school desk? If you ever wanted to sell something, literally or figuratively, this is not how to do it. No, you put it- This is not it. You put it in the for sale and free section. This is now I wish I never heard about this desk. And I don't wanna pick.

This is really taking over your life. I don't want a desk pick. I don't want it to pick at that desk. But you put it in the for sale and free section, you have a dumb picture and you say, here it is, take it or leave it. That's right. Yeah, because he's trying to sell it or he's giving it away. And see, he doesn't even say, it doesn't even say. And actually it doesn't even say if you want to

buy it. It says if you want to see it. Is this a kink? Do you think it's code? Oh, yes. I'd rather see it than buy it. Oh no, what's code for kids desk? I don't want to get into this any further. Oh no, what's code for kids desk? I don't want to get into this any further. Sergio, if you're listening to this, get a life, get it together. Grow up Sergio, knock it off. You goofball. He's been a real goofball.

He's been a real goofball. Hopped up on goofballs. That's right. That's right. Or white out or delicious. Oh gosh. Why did they spell white out without the H? They did?

Is that true? Oh, this is a very Mandela thing. Is this true? Wait a minute. I remember it being W-I-T-E. No, I believe you. I believe you, Bernd. I believe you.

I believe you. I'm not saying you're. Oh my God, you're right. Well, I feel really defensive because the whole Connie thing, and I really want you to know that I believe you when it says it's WIT. Can you show me?

Did you find a picture? Big, big whiteout. Oh yeah, big. Big. Big. Little big. But you said liquid paper. No, you did babe.

No, I did. You're the one who called it, okay, Burke did. I introduced the idea. I believe you, I believe you Burke. There's that old rigid finger again. Oh, stiffened in my direction. The rigid finger of shame. Oh, shame?

Shame or blame? It was shame. We're gonna have to listen back. You can't blame it if you can't shame it. Oh, it was blame, wasn't it? Okay, well, I guess I learned several things this time around. Can we find out what is,

Liquid Paper, is Liquid Paper the brand name of the one that Michael Nesmith's mother invented? What? I thought they were the same thing. Well, but I mean, now I'm doubly confused. Liquid paper, correction fluid. Yeah, I thought it said liquid paper and white out on both of them. But was white out just what people called it like colloquially? And it was always called liquid paper.

I'm rethinking everything right now. Liquid paper is an American brand of the new will brands company marketed internationally that sells correction fluid, correction, which sounds awful. That happens in jail. They also make the correction tape. Do you remember the tape? No. See, I was going to mention the tape. It would be super skinny.

Oh yes. You would have a little dispenser. And you could type over it. It makes my hair stand up. You type over it, but you had to wait. That's because you put it on your arm, then you rip it really fast. I know, but do you ever have like texture sensations that are like fears? Are you still like writing things in your arm hair?

Well, he and the twins started that. He and the twins started that because I wouldn't let them get tattoos. So then they started writing things. Of course, I'm talking about my twins, which we haven't even talked about. We'll talk about them next time, but this is Matt and Sharut. Oh, well, Bernd, I think it's time to sign off. Yeah. This has been an interesting episode. It has. It was fun. I enjoyed it. Yeah. Good luck together. I didn't like the fact that there are

strangers in the house. That part I didn't like. Next time, babe, you need to run that past me. Okay. Sounds like you two might need couples counseling. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of heat. I will definitely win. I will definitely win for sure. Somebody's having... We have two sizzlers full of strangers. Two? What are you talking about two? Well, there's the one sizzler. You're talking about the airport sizzler.

Sizzler Express. Oh God, I'm exhausted. Sorry, two and a half. I'm exhausted. I'm going to go take a bath. Which one is frequented more, the sizzler or the Sizzler Express? Express does some pretty brisk business, I think. I'm sure brisk business. Well, there you have it. All right. Well, we'll be back next week. Be sure to follow us on the socials at The Neighborhood Listen.

And if you'd like to write to us, BurtonJone at gmail.com. And if you'd like access to the bonus content that we put out once a month, And if you'd like access to the bonus content that we put out once a month, go to CBBworld.com, sign up for the Maximist here, and you will get stuff from behind the paywall. I can't think of anything else to say, Joan, so I'm just going to say goodbye. And bye.

All of the posts used in this episode were real, only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Anna Garcia. The Neighborhood Listen is a production

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