The Neighborhood Listen - Power Surges, Sandwich Brags and Young Male Marcus with Tim Baltz

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

This week in the NEIGHBORHOOD, Joan expresses her fear of demons, Burnt reacts to a very overwhelming post about a sandwich and Doug recovers from a mosquito attack. Plus, young male Marcus (Tim Baltz) joins to discuss reusable bags, his clothing mugging and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is. All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets.

And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest, Tim Baltz. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone.

You've got the NeighborHap app and us. Burn. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. I'm Burton Mia Payday. And I'm Joan Penestrian.

And we are your hosts for this look at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. That's right. Hope everybody is doing great this week. I do too. Yeah. I mean, I think about our listeners a lot now. Now that we're starting to get, I appreciate your emails. It's true. I appreciate the concern

about Doug with you know, I don't know which order these go in, but I think people are concerned about the mosquitoes. We had him outside recording. Yeah, that's right. And he got, I will tell you, the last week was rough. He got bit a lot. I was shocked.

He got chewed up. We're not going to do that again. No. He was almost unrecognizable. Yeah. And so he's in the garage in his car this time for a recording. And hey, babe, how you doing? Sounds great in here.

Oh, good. Good. Well, no mosquitoes out there. Right. Nope. No mosquitoes out here. Yeah. Any other creatures that you feel the need to worry about? Maybe what's in the daddy long legs or two.

I mean, a black one, a spider here and there. But they're more afraid of you than they are that really accelerated went from a daddy long legs to a black widow well they're here they exist

but you know as long as you stay out of their way they'd stay out of yours but Doug loves his car so I figured well that would be a nice place for him

to be today he's been restoring that car he has for as long as I've known the both of you it's crazy to spend so much time restoring a Ford Explorer.

But boy, oh boy. I mean, it looks brand new. Thank you. 1998. You wouldn't know. It doesn't yet run. Is that correct, Doug? No, it doesn't run, but who would, I don't want to

drive this thing. It's like a museum. Yeah, you just like to sit in and listen to old FM radio, you know, he just enjoys it. And the value decreased the value of that Ford Explorer would decrease the moment you took it out of the garage. So yes, you're right. You're right.

Absolutely. And I got an old FM player in here too. I know. You're the old stuff. Are you under the impression that if you buy an old radio, it will exclusively play old stuff? Well, the radio is from 1998. Right. But it will. Classic 1998.

He says it sounds different. He says it sounds, you know, it's just like the difference between vinyl. I see. I was afraid that he was under the impression that 1998 broadcasts were stored in the radio. Oh, I don't think that's what he thought. That's exactly what I thought. Oh, well, okay. That is what he

thought. Well, that's not true. That's not true. Okay, well, a semi-sonic song just came on. Well, but yeah. Well, turn that off. We're recording. That's a good point.

Are you listening in your other ear? Of course he is. That doesn't surprise me at all. That doesn't surprise me. That's fine. Let's leave him to it. But yeah, he was just, the last time I saw Doug, he was chewed up by those mosquitoes, covered head to toe in calamine lotion.

Yep. Looked like a hairless cat. He sure did. Yeah. Just pink and lumpy and yeah we have some regrets about that episode but anyways we're moving forward we are moving forward uh joan that's my name is there uh what's the what's the latest on the uh on the on the my fair lady interesting yes as you know we're putting we're returning to community theater i'm gonna

get back up on the boards and uh we're working on our very woke My Fair Lady. That's right. Tim, the choreographer, has returned. He has returned. He has some great ideas. And we're trying to set a date. We're maybe trying to set a date and some auditions fairly soon. But what we might want to do is a reading.

Now, this is what happens in New York sometimes. They'll do a workshop. I've heard of this. Right? And so you sort of get a bunch of people together. You get around a table, and you just work through it, and you just sort of say, oh, well, let's just throw everything at the wall. Let's put it up on its feet. You know? You have these readings where it's like people that you know that are very talented,

and they get together, and of course they know that they will never be allowed to be in the actual production. Probably not. No, allowed to be in the actual production. Probably not. No, we're placed for the famous person. Exactly. This is someone you know, you've known for a long time,

super talented, and you say, please, will you come do me this favor for free? And then when it comes time to the production, you will be nowhere near it. Okay, well that is not the case here in Dignity Falls. Okay, burnt? Because no one's going to come to this reading for crying out loud.

No, everyone will be involved, okay? Rightnt? Because no one's going to come to this reading for crying out loud. No! Everyone will be involved, okay? And what's really great about that is I can get feedback from everybody. I'd love for you to be there. I'd be honored. I would love if maybe you'd read a Colonel Pickering maybe? Well, I mean, I was thinking for Colonel Pickering.

Colonel Pickering, what's he all about? He's the one who helps Henry Higgins teach. Oh, that's his little friend. The rain in Spain, that's his little friend. That's his little friend. Yes, yes. I mean, now, as you know. The Dr. Watson of my third lady.

You would be a wonderful Henry Higgins, but of course, as you know, we have Nigel Jensen, who is one of the professors at the college. And he is of British descent. Yes, he is. And I just think if I can get him to agree to it, I have a – so that's the big news right now. I'm going to approach him next week. I've reached out with an email. And so I'm hoping. I'm hoping.

It would lend an air of authenticity to the proceedings. He is of British descent. He was raised on Long Island, and he has a very, very thick New York accent. But, but I think that if he has any skill at acting at all, maybe he could attempt an English accent. Sure. He's now,

he's a, he's a, he's a botanist. He's a professor in, in that, of that botany. And I don't know if that, I mean,

I've heard that his classes are just spellbinding, you know. Really? Yes, I've heard that he dresses up as plants and that he assumes different characters. And so that's why I thought, well, that's really great. It sounds like he's willing to sort of, you know, step outside of the comfort zone. Do people like his classes unironically or do you think it's uh it's just that they they think it's uh weird well i know this is what my this is what the twins my boys who are going to school there this is what i had a roommate tell me about that they're not taking any of the classes they should be taking

right now to be honest i that's a whole nother story this is the twins matt and trib yes matt and trib and um they're just they're struggling a little bit. You know, they're both swimmers, and that's how they got in. And so I know they're doing well there, but the classes are not, they're going downhill. And God forbid, they're not going to take a botany class. You know, they're not going to choose that. Right. They're going to choose the wood shop. They're going to choose the ceramics class.

They're real boys. Just like they did in high school. Yes, exactly. Of course they are. Wood shop, ceramics. Yeah, exactly. Of course they are. Wood shop ceramics. Yeah, exactly. And so they're not probably going to end up in Professor Jensen's class, but I have heard tell of what sounds like very unironic praise of his class.

And so I'm going to audit. I'm just going to go sit in. Oh, fun. And see, I haven't asked him if that's okay yet, but I'm just hoping I'll just show up. I can pass for a college student, right? Sure. Right, Doug? I'll just put on, I don't know, a tank top?

Put on a raccoon coat and a carrier pennant. A raccoon coat. What do you mean by a raccoon coat? Well, I'm being facetious. It's, of course, the old, you know, the 1920s college student with the raccoon coat and riding around in a jalopy with a rumble seat and, you know, waving a pennant, swallowing a goldfish in a contest, sitting on top of a flagpole. None of this sounds even vaguely familiar. No, the funniest things. You're so, I love what a renaissance man you are.

You have knowledge of other times. I can't even wrap my head around. I mean, that's pretty much it. Okay. I think that's my knowledge just extends back that far. Okay. All right. Well, you know, we definitely, we have a great guest today.

We're very excited to talk to him. It should be very interesting. He's an interesting person. Very interesting person. We're lucky that we live in a neighborhood with such interesting people. We are. And, you know, of course, we're always on the lookout for any posts that we think need a little extra attention on our neighbor app.

And Bernd, you had one, I believe. I did. This one is, I thought was very interesting. Uh-huh. This comes from Chris. Okay. Who asks, this is the subject line, electrical surge in neighborhood? Who asks, this is the subject line, electrical surge in neighborhood?

And he goes on to say, anyone else experience a surge in the last few hours? Didn't plug anything new in, and all of a sudden, our power strips all light on fire. Oh, my. Right by the corner of... Right by the corner of Glenhurst and john quincy adams boulevard so i mean that's an extreme occurrence wait are they saying they live right on the corner they say they're by the corner okay so i was gonna say there's a there's a kmart on that corner they don't live in the kmart i should hope not what is this the mixed up files of mrs basilie frankweiler no who is that did she wear a raccoon coat no that was that was a book that was a children's book from when i was young and uh uh there were these uh there was a brother

and sister that uh uh this is all i remember is that they would hide in a department store until it was closed for business. And then they would steal change from the fountain in the department store. And they would buy food in the automat. Really? What was this called? From the mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. And who's Basil E. Frank? She's like a mother goose?

I do not remember. I don't know. I don't think so. I think she was, my vague memory is that she was some sort of eccentric rich lady. Okay. Yes. And maybe she solved crimes.

Oh my, I am going to have to look this up. That sounds like a Netflix franchise to me. Get it going with Meryl Streep. Do you think, here's what I would like to see. I'd like to see her wear some other fake appendages. Like she's got, she's in that big little eye. She's got the fake teeth going.

Yes. Maybe something like if she had an obvious glass eye. An obvious glass eye. It's like sticking out a little bit further. Yeah, slightly bigger, different color. Yes. Sure, sure. Something real crazy like that.

Yeah, like an arm made out of leather. Oh, my. That's terrifying. And she's always wearing like a sleeveless sundress. And then the one arm is just clearly just oiled leather. This sounds horrible. Wooden fingers. That's horrifying.

But you know what? I know she'd be brilliant. And it's never mentioned. And it's never mentioned. And it's never mentioned. Somehow that's not the creepiest, craziest thing about her. Yeah, I'd like to see her put more jewelry on her face. Well, you might just get your wish,

because she's being put in everything. Are you familiar with the show? Have you seen her in the show? Oh, Big Little Lies? Yes. Oh, wait. She has a lot of jewelry on her face Oh, Big Little Lies? Yes. Oh, wait. She has a lot of jewelry on her face in it? No, not a lot.

Oh, okay. But there was one scene where she's talking to someone. Of course, she's very suspicious about the death of her son. Oh, she drives me crazy. I guess that means she's a good actress. She reminds me of my- Well, she's got you talking. Oh, I'll just say she does an accurate mother-in-law.

Sorry, Doug. He's not listening. He's listening to- Talk about cats. Listen to Semisonic or maybe Closing Time. There are things that remind me- Oh-law. Sorry, Doug. He's not listening. He's listening to Ben Healy. Talk about cats. Listen to Semisonic or maybe Closing Time. There are things that remind me. Oh, that was Semisonic. That was Semisonic.

All right, Doug. Okay. There are things that remind me about Kathy. I'm trying to take that away from Semisonic. Their only song. I understand. I understand. I forgot that for a minute.

So you're just saying there was one time where she was wearing a lot of jewelry. I'm trying to remember. No, she has a little cross necklace. And so she's sort of giving someone, you know, one of the big little liars. Oh, that's a classic Meryl Streep move. She kind of put the cross up on her chin and put it down. You're right. Something like an old lady would do.

Sure. Yes. Yes, exactly. But I really loved it. I want to remember that as an acting tip. A lot of people liked it. To put jewelry on your face for emphasis. I want to remember that as an acting tip. A lot of people liked it. To put jewelry on your face for emphasis.

I don't know a lot about acting. It seemed like good acting to me. I think it was. Because it was such a very specific thing that your attention was drawn to. It was. It got me. I couldn't remember anything that was being said. And all I could remember was she put a necklace on her chin.

Yeah, but it was a cross. So she's judging her. Right. Oh, you think that was part of it? Absolutely. She's a pious woman. can remember was she put a necklace on her chin yeah but it was a cross so she's judging her right oh you think that was part of it she's a pious woman oh i see well that's what i got out of it anyhow now okay first of all i'm gonna have to go look up those those books uh second of all um did you what time did this occur and do you remember sensing an electrical surge i'm trying to think myself it was posted it was posted it says the date that it was posted, but it doesn't say the time of day. Oh, people.

You know what? You have got, again, you're missing a tortoise. Please don't wait three months to mention it. Do it right away. If there's a power surge, give us a time. Yes. I mean, that's the least you can do in the last few hours. Well, when am I reading this? I'm not reading this on your schedule. Exactly.

You know? And, you know, I could say I felt it, but God, we have power surges all the time because between Doug Buff and the Explorer and Jaliopi plugging in all of her devices. Yes. You know, we're constantly blowing a fuse. And, you know, look, I have electrical strips in my home catch on fire all the time. Oh, they do? So, not every day, but it's... Well, you fire all the time. Oh, they do? Not every day, but it's... Well, you said all the time.

I would say probably a few times a week. Oh, my goodness. I think that's frequent, Bernd. Do you? I do. How often do your electrical strips catch on fire? Never. Never? Well, okay. Doug, have they ever caught on fire? The strips? Yes.

No. See? Never? Never. Never. That's not safe. Wow. I don't even have that many things plugged in in my home. That's not safe. You might want to get someone in to take a look at that.

I'm worried about you. I'm worried that guy Frank is going to come back. I know. I'm worried about that, too. And I just don't want those things catching on fire. And your name is Burns, and I don't like it. That would be a sad headline. It would be.

Can you imagine? I know. People would make jokes. Well. And I don't like it. That would be a sad headline. It would be. Oh, can you imagine? I know. People would make jokes. Well. And I wouldn't blame them. I mean, of course. Sure. But I wouldn't.

I know you wouldn't, Joan. No, of course. All right. Well, I guess I can't help you. I guess I can't help this poster. I can't help you, Chris. I'm sorry. You're saying your power strips all lit on fire.

But you don't say when this happened. Because if we could coordinate and if my power strips are lighting on fire at the same time, then maybe we could figure something out. Because we don't live even remotely close to each other. If he lives at Glenhurst and John Quincy Adams. They all went on fire at the same time. I mean, that sounds like he might need it. That sounds otherworldly. Oh, it does sound a bit spooky well

that's where i go to i'm so afraid of demons anything extra i can't do any of it i scared of all of it that paranormal activity franchise we saw one of those we saw the very first one doug and i saw the very first one slept with the lights on for the next two weeks he did not get any i could not handle it were you scared of the supernatural before seeing this film oh yes i already didn't like it i I just thought it'd be fun. I thought, you know, I went with the kids because they all go on the opening weekend, you know, like a horror movie. And I realized

why I don't do it. They would have been very young to see that movie opening weekend. Look, I'm not a parent, and I don't pass judgment on other people's parenting. I'm just surprised is all. Look, the boys thought it was, they laughed through the entire thing.

They thought it was hysterical. Sure. Sure. Well, that's good. I might explain more about July. She was, she was three. So that was a little tricky. Yeah.

Anyhow. Anyhow. We're not here to talk about kids. We're not here to talk. I don't want to talk about that anymore. It's my least favorite subject. No demons and whatnot. Not my children.'re not here to talk. I don't want to talk about that anymore. It's my least favorite subject. No, demons and whatnot. Not my children.

No, no, no. I understand. I'm just sorry we accidentally ended up touching a monitor. Well, we do have to take a break. And when we return, we will have a very interesting guest right here on The Neighborhood Listen. Stay tuned. Hi. This is Melanie. Never worn wedding dress.

$270. Lillian West, $62.91 wedding dress. Side winter wedding dress with a clean silhouette. Sweetheart neckline, waist with a testicle felt Outstanding quality Brand new, never worn Never worn I decided I wanted a different dress

I'm sorry, I have a cold Couple of buds are missing Sad cover, but I'm sure it can easily be replaced Right, I'll stop Dress length is in front of the city's execution. It doesn't have straps, and that's from the sweetheart neckline down. I am 5'3", and if I had worn it, I would have had it shortened. Again, I just wanted a different dress.

I am not crying. I have terrible cold and allergies. And welcome back to Neighborhood Listen. I'm still Joan. And I'm still Burnt Me a Payday. I really enjoy that, the saying, I'm still. You get a kick out of it when you change your name in between the break. Have we been replaced by aliens?

Oh, I sure hope not now our guest is here yes he is this is very exciting you're going to read the post uh that our guest inspired yes i am um i this is one of those cases where we we came upon this post this gentleman contacted me because i guess he had read this post as well and he and he knew of our podcast and felt that uh he wanted to explain himself and that maybe he was being misrepresented that's nice that's kind of the whole point of why we're doing this exactly great this comes to us from Cree Cree Cree uh all you fans of uh Captain Marvel out there that's's right. That's right. Cree writes, the subject line is Red Truck on Talmadge

near Hazel, Kirk, and Clarissa. That's three street names. We got a total of four street names going on, so I'm not really sure where this took place. No. Hopefully we can nail this down.

Not sure what I just saw, but came outside, witnessed a young male with a baseball cap run across the street with several reusable type grocery bags thought nothing of it at first actually thought someone had shopped for groceries and enjoyed running home but he stopped in front of this tall foliage my neighbors have across my way and i can hear some rustling i I thought that was odd. He emerged in different clothing and no hat. I feel like I almost sound like Keith Morrison.

He emerged in different clothing and no hat. That's good. And kept running with said bags. I looked to see how far he was heading and saw nothing. Then suddenly heard a clang and then a red pickup truck took off north on Talmadge rather quickly. I'm not reporting this to the police. I'm not positive a crime occurred, but figured if one has, this may be useful.

I couldn't get a plate ID either. Ooh, sounds very like a crime show. Just an FYI, if you live in the neighborhood and something has happened to you. No, that's... I assume he means not just anything has happened, but if he sees this guy or someone else sees this guy. Yes, here's the details.

Person, one. Hair, black curly. Butt white baseball cap at first. Oh, right, because he changed caps. Yes, top, red. Butt hat, jacket, and briar. Oh, this is confusing. Bottom, dark.

Can't remember if they were denim or otherwise. Shoes, white. Maybe his name is Daniel. Damn Daniel. Age, 20s, sex, male, race, unknown, physical build, slim. Wow, and here he is. Now, this gentleman told me his name is Marcus. Marcus, thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for name is Marcus. Marcus, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for coming, Marcus. So, Marcus, you emailed us at our account, which is the Neighborhood Listen podcast, cojonanburnt.gmail.com. dot gmail at g... Slash. No, don't forget the backslash. Dot gmail backslash at gmail.com. Yeah, we're working on that.

It was too long. It was too long. I tried emailing several other addresses and I got something wrong every single time. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad

you got a hold of us. If you don't have it right in front of you already written down, it's impossible to remember and I do apologize. So hard. And also, we've never given it out on the podcast. Nope. And even have it right in front of you already written down, it's impossible to remember, and I do apologize. So hard. Thank you. And also, we've never given it out on the podcast.

Nope. And even getting it right, my email refuses to autofill it in subsequent attempts to email you. I don't doubt that. That's a hassle. That is a hassle. But thank you for having me on. Because I have been slandered. I saw this on the Neighborhood app.

I have been slandered by someone who thought that I was the perpetrator of some kind of crime, when in fact, the opposite was true. The opposite of perpetrating a crime is preventing a crime. Am I correct? Oops. Nope. No. I meant a crime had been perpetrated upon me.

Oh, I see. I see. Oh, well, please tell us what happened. Now, walk us through this. Let's go back to the beginning, okay? Yes. So you've got several reusable type grocery bags. Several of them.

First of all, I'm a young male. That's real early in the description. Yes. Thank you. And very slim. You are very slender. Thank you. I like to, well, actually, I have some stomach issues.

I get diarrhea quite a bit. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. So sorry to bring that up. Sorry to bring that up. Sorry to hear it. Me too. You never know what's going on with someone.

I'd love to put on some weight, unfortunately. The diarrhea won't let me. All right. Well, it's okay. So reusable bags. Sorry to bring it up. Anyway, so yeah. So when I go grocery shopping, I don't know if you're like me, but I like to park far

away from the grocery store, get my reusable bags out and run to the grocery store. So you do indeed like just running. Absolutely. So you like to run not just from the grocery store, but also to it. Yes. Okay. And then on the way back, I've got a little extra weight, so I'm building muscles. There's more resistance to my run. Why bother spending money on ankle weights or wrist weights when you can just go grocery shopping, which you have to do anyway. Sure. And so Cree was right about that. You are someone who had shopped for groceries and enjoy running home.

Yes. I mean, from Cree's vantage point, there aren't a lot of facts to dispute in Cree's account of this occurrence. It's just the context. It's just the context. Cree is doing a lot of supposing after the fact. Yes. And that I don't appreciate. I don't blame you.

Okay, so then I stopped in front of this tall foliage that Cree's neighbors have across his way. Or her way. Or their way. And I can hear some rustling, right? So I get curious. Now, I've got all my bags. I'm sweating pretty hard. Sure.

Of course. I got so many groceries, I wasn't able to put my jacket into one of my reusable grocery bags. So I'm wearing it, sweating profusely. And I hear some rustling. And from inside the bush, I hear, hey, buddy. I'm like, oh, you got to be putting me on. This must be someone's used old Halloween decorations that has a motion sensor. Oh.

One of these skeletons. You thought that was hiding in the bushes as a prank. Yeah. Maybe it fell out of the tree and they couldn't find it and it was in this foliage. Can I say, I mean, we're certainly taking creta tasks for making a big supposition, but this one seems huge. Right. That your first thought is it's a motion sensor. That you didn't think it was an actual person.

Yeah. But a motion sensor Halloween costume. And that a Halloween would says, hey, buddy, I'll fully admit I I saw what I wanted to see. And what I wanted to see was a motion sensor Halloween decoration with an older Italian gentleman's voice. So so that's what you actually did see. Well, here, look. What month are we in right now? Oh, this is probably October.

Yeah. Right. So this has been here a year at least. Yeah. So what I'm thinking is this is a free motion sensor Halloween decoration because this person has left this out, forgotten about it, and I'll call myself out. I was going to grab this and take it home for myself. Interesting. And I'll call myself out.

I was going to grab this and take it home for myself. Can I say, Marcus, if you see someone who leaves their Christmas lights up for too long, do you think they're free Christmas lights? Fair point. Don't make me answer this. Yeah, I do. Oh, dear. If it's October, if it's October, why don't you assume they're putting them up too early? Exactly, because Christmas is right around the corner. Why don't you assume they're putting them up too early?

Exactly, because Christmas is right around the corner. Maybe they're very religious and they don't celebrate Halloween because some religious people think that Halloween is against God. This is true. Pagan holiday. Which religious people? Jehovah's Witnesses. Uh-oh. Regular Christians sometimes.

Regular Christians. Jehovah's Witnesses and regular Christians. Well, Christmas lights, I take issue with that. They're not designed to scare someone. They're not designed to freak out a passerby. Now, Halloween decorations usually are. They're designed to spook you. So early October, you're putting them out in early October or maybe even late September. We're not really sure what month it is right now. I'm pretty sure it's October. Me too. Me too. Yeah. All right. Well, I think it's poor form. I think you put your Halloween decorations up a few days before Halloween. Just a few days.

You don't... Something spooky like... But what's the fun in that? Well, okay, but regardless of all that, when you went into the foliage, what did you actually see? No taller than four foot eight, older Italian man. Four foot eight? Incredibly stocky, rippled muscles. No taller than four foot eight, older Italian man. Four foot eight? Incredibly stocky, rippled muscles.

This guy, I just get thrown into the tumbler. We look like Tasmanian devil, like cartoon characters fighting. You start fighting right away. We start fighting. This guy starts rolling me right away. So a passerby would see maybe a cloud with, like a cloud of dust with just the occasional foot or fist flying out of it. That's right. That's right.

This guy rips my jacket off, takes my hat. Oh, no. Yeah. And I'm, you know, so I'm begging with him, please, what are you doing? I'm just trying to get back to my pickup truck, which is across the way. Sure. With my groceries. From Cree's neighbor's place. Yeah.

And he says, I'm not. With my groceries. From Cree's neighbor's place. Yeah. And he says, I'm not interested in your groceries. Give me a jacket. Give me a head. So he's mugging you for your clothing. Yeah.

I think he wanted a disguise. Because this guy's most likely a criminal. Well, if he's hiding out in the bushes. And he's getting in a fight. He's throwing people into the tumbler.

Right into the tumbler. Right into the tumbler. Right into the tumbler. No questions asked. He sounds like a criminal to me. Yeah. I would say so. Well, I didn't want to stick around to find out. So I get out of there, you know, my body intact, my groceries intact, missing my jacket and

my hat. Didn't even realize it. I didn't even realize it. My curly black hair exposed to the sun. So when Cree said he emerged in different clothing, he just meant less clothing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You didn't really change clothing so much as clothing was taken away from you. That's true. Which is different. I think

that's very different. I think it's an important difference, especially if you ever get to the point where you're in a courtroom. Right. I think that a judge would find that very different. Absolutely. Yeah. Anyway, yes. Marcus, can I say this? And I want you to continue to tell your story because I'm interested in what happened after

that. If you are someone who suffers from these intestinal issues and you are constantly, you know, losing weight and not gaining weight, why would you be running in a hat and jacket? You're saying it seems like that would contribute to your digestive problems. You're sweating even more. Well, you'd be sweating even more and you'd be losing even more weight. Uh-huh. Oh, sure.

Not that a hat and a jacket would contribute to your digestive problems. Well, if you're hot sometimes. But yes, okay. So it would just contribute to your weight loss. I see what he's saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's a great point. You know, I can't even, I can't argue with it.

You're right. You called me out. I'm busted. Well, I didn't see that. This is not a gotcha moment. That was not a gotcha question. No, not a gotcha question. No, but I've been gotten 100%.

It is not good for me, but it's a remnant of an earlier part in my life where I used to work out a lot, and I didn't have to worry about these things. But, you know, some old habits die hard, as they say. So you used to be maybe stockier, like this 4'8 gentleman that assaulted you in the bushes. Not quite as stocky as 4'8, but yeah, I was definitely a beefier guy. And was that here in Dignity Falls? Have you always lived here? Yeah, yeah. Born and raised in Dignity Falls? Have you always lived here? Yeah. Yeah. Born and raised Dignity Falls.

I could tell by the way you said port earlier. That's part of the Dignity Falls accent. I caught that. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I got all the trappings of the Dignity Falls boy. You could hear it loud and clear.

Did I say grocery store earlier? I think you did. Yeah. Yeah. Which I used to say when I was a kid. That's a classic. Yes. I had to make myself not.

When I went to college, of course, I was ridiculed for saying grocery store. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Now, so what happened to this stocky little older Italian man? Well, he kicked me out onto the street. So for a moment, you know, I thought about, okay, do I try to get my jacket and my hat? But this guy rolled me so good, threw me in such a tumbler.

Boy, oh boy. That I thought, I don't want to get tossed in this tumbler again. No. No. No more tumbler. I didn't want to get rolled twice. Uh-uh. Right?

So I just ran across the street, which probably from Cree's perspective, seeing me run, and then I disappear from view. The clanging in my pickup truck was me just tossing my groceries in, slamming the door, and peeling off. Now, at this point, you're on Fust. Sorry, that's my accent. That's your accent coming out. Did it come out earlier? He said it earlier, but... I said I was on Fust.

He said... Oh, no, you're right. When he was in the Tumblr, I think of the Fust and the fist climb. I didn't say anything, but I did cast that. Did you say cast that? Probably. Also from Diggity. Classic.

That's right. You guys. And then I peeled off. And Cree is also right that you couldn't get a plate ID because, you know, I smear yogurt on it so that the cops can't tell that my sticker isn't up to date. Oh, no. Well, why have you not kept your plates up to date? I'm bad with deadlines. Right.

I'm real bad. How out of date is that sticker? Probably two and a half years. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, Marcus, that's a long time. I know. Yeah, you got to do that. And I got to be honest that I'm not sure that smearing yogurt on it makes

it better because it's always a color of some sort. So I'm assuming if you're using white yogurt, it's going to make it look like there's no sticker at all. That's true. Better to look around town and see, oh, this year it's a green sticker. Find something fairly easy. I mean, I don't want to encourage you to break the law, but I mean, gosh, as a placeholder, yeah,

exactly. If you're going to do it, do it right. Any kind of small green with black. Avocado. Get a Sharpie. You can make your own. Yeah. Again, not advocating that. I still want you to go with the DMV.

No, that's good. I'm going to break the law that way from now on. Oh, gosh. No, no, no, no. That's the wrong lesson to take. Oh, I knew it. No, that's good. That's the wrong lesson.

But it is something, yeah. I mean, you can't help but express it out loud because it does seem like a very inefficient way to break the law. It sure does. But if I get caught, can I cite you? No. Oh, please don't. My neighbors. Please absolutely do not do that.

Don't do that. Nope. Okay. Speaking of the law, did you go to the police and give them a description of this little violent gnome? I was terrified. No, I didn't at all. First of all, it felt like a fever dream. I got home, you know, sweating profusely, paranoid, putting my groceries away.

You absolutely went to the bathroom. Why? No. What? Because that is a traumatic event. I took it for granted. The fear wasn't just coursing through my veins. I'm sorry, I'm a mom. No, I understand.

I'm a mom and bodily functions do not embarrass me. Of course, that makes sense. Okay, ask Doug, all right? You're constantly asking your kids, did you do a two or a one? Did you go? Do you need to go? Your youngest is in high school. I'm still asking her sometimes, do you need to go?

You never stop. So I am sorry. I do apologize for that. I wouldn't categorize what I do as a two, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I do. Okay. I do. Good.

I didn't want to have to describe that one any further. I'm not going to ask for that. I'm not going to ask for the description any further. So you got home. I was. Yeah, I was terrified. And then once the fear settled out, boy, I got incredibly sleepy. I napped.

I slept right through to the next day. And then I thought, well, I can't call the cops and report this. This was from yesterday. They're going to get suspicious. And then they're going to run me through all this line of questions that makes me seem like a weirdo for parking far away from the grocery store and running with my bags. Exactly.

And I knew someone had seen something. I knew how suspicious I looked from another perspective. That's why you peeled off. That's why I peeled off. Well, okay. It sounds like it's all very innocent. If Cree's listening, you can now obviously see how this was

something that was actually a crime perpetrated on him, like he said. It's an extremely simple misunderstanding. And we've got a problem here of a short, angry Italian man throwing people in the tumbler left and right. We don't want that to happen anymore. We don't necessarily know that he's Italian. We know that he spoke in the voice

of an old Italian man. Was it? I mean, it did almost sound like, what did he sound like again? Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Yeah. Old Italian. I don't know. That was my impression. Like New York Italian, you're saying. Yeah, New York Italian. But again, he was beating me up, so

maybe I'm applying some prejudice to this short stocky man, you know, but his eyes were black as coal. So you can call it my prejudice. Go on record and say that, but if your eyes are black as coal,

but it does sound like a prejudice. It sure does. I don't know. Yeah. I think we probably shouldn't go with that. You're, you're reducing one physical character characteristic to, to describe an entire race of people.

Yeah, that's not. That's not. What, criminals? That's what we do. Oh, no. Nope. Nope. Well, have you ever been assaulted like this before?

I'm wondering if this guy is targeting you specifically or if anyone else is. I haven't seen any other post similar to this on The Neighbor Hab. That's what I was wondering. Come to think of it, I have been beat up before by a guy who sounded remarkably like that and was under five feet tall. Well, can you give us the specifics of that moment? When did that happen? I had my reusable grocery bags probably three weeks ago. Sure.

Great type of grocery bag. I parked a few blocks away from the grocery store. I started running to the grocery store. That's what you do. Heard some rustling in foliage. Oh, this is very similar. So far very, very similar. Almost the exact same story. Yes. Geez, I must have blacked this out.

The guy says, excuse me, buddy. So a little more polite. A little more polite. I poke my head into the foliage. This guy grabs me, throws me in the tumbler. Oh, buddy. So a little more polite. A little more polite. I poke my head into the foliage. This guy grabs me, throws me in the tumbler, rolls me a couple times, spits me out with, let's closing up.

Jeez, boy, my Dignity Falls accent is really coming out. Well, it's because we're all together. Then he said grocery normal twice. It's so weird. Yeah, but then he did, I heard a grocery in there at one point. Okay, fair enough. I had college theater professors just pound the accent out of me. Oh, were you a thespian in college? I was.

So was Joan. Joan is a fellow actor. You've probably seen her on stage here in Dignity Falls. Oh, please. Well, yeah, but you probably disappeared in your role so successfully that I don't recognize you right now. Now that's a compliment. Doug, that is what you're supposed to say after the show. Did you just hear that?

I've spent years trying to get him to say exactly that. Take notes, honey. Roasted, Doug. Is this your husband over here? Oh, Doug, what are you doing in here? You're supposed to be in the garage. You said to take notes. Oh.

Well, you could take. I meant you could take them from the Explorer. You don't have to be physically present. You could, yeah. It's all right. Here, grab a snack and go back there, honey. It's okay. Okay.

Wow. You know, while the door to the garage was open, I heard Fastballs the way playing. It seems like he's got pretty tight taste in music. Well. Tight. Tight. So, you're describing something that sounds exactly like what happened just a few days ago. Yeah, boy.

I think that this, I think Berndt is right. I think this man is targeting you. Yeah. Are you sure he's not someone whose property you've stolen before? Perhaps his Christmas lights? Well, hold on a second. Now you're putting some prejudice on me. I haven't stolen any Christmas lights. I'm just saying I have an impulse when I walk by Halloween decorations and it's not in season to steal them.

You have yet to steal any item from someone's house. Yeah. I'm being honest about what my impulses are. But now, but now, but now, but now you have said if people leave decorate holiday decorations up too long, you consider them abandoned. So, of course, in your mind, you're not stealing. You're just taking up something that someone has abandoned. But we haven't established that these items are abandoned. So have you, let's say, picked up any decorations from any holiday that you thought someone had abandoned? Whether it was a flag, a Memorial Day.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Okay. So you got 100%. Yes. Oh, oh whoa that was quick but i did not i did not steal them i fully believe that they were abandoned okay but is it possible that this person that's targeting you uh they think you stole them huh you know now i'm starting to connect even more dots i remember on may 1st of this past year, I walked past a very Italian-themed home

that was heavily decorated in Easter decorations. And it being May 1st, I thought, Easter's over, pal. This year it was. It was over by May 1st. True. They're always different. But just barely.

Just barely. Just barely. So I pulled my pickup truck right in front of the front door of the house to block it and also to give me easier access to take these abandoned decorations and throw them in the flatbed of my red truck. Oh, dear. And then I pulled out, causing some damage to the front yard.

Wow. Just like tire divots. Before you – You peeled out. You haven't even gotten to the ceiling and you've already listed three things I think would be very unpleasant for those people. However, I did have a stack of Home Depot gift cards and I made it rain on the front lawn before peeling out. But here's the thing. If I may, Marcus, I have a question and a statement.

The statement is, I think you know you're doing something wrong and that's why you're peeling out from these situations. doing something wrong. And that's why you're peeling out from these situations. Number two. Could you describe what makes the home very Italian themed? I did want to know the same thing. I did.

I did wonder. I was curious about that. Well, there was, it was evening and it smelled like someone was cooking pizza or some kind of marinara sauce. Good gravy, if you will. And there were odors coming from the home. So the smell was the theme, is what you're saying. There was nothing else outside to indicate. Now, hold on a second. If you're saying that I am prejudiced against people based on how they smell, you know,

you know, wow, I consider myself an open-minded human being. It seems like I got some deep-seated prejudices that are revealed the second I open my mouth and state my opinions on things. That's uncomfortable for me. It's uncomfortable for you. I think it's uncomfortable for, for all of us really. But yeah, I would say that's definitely who that man is. That's definitely the man. And I think I speak for Jonah myself when I say we're not condoning the assault. He shouldn't be beating people up. It is impressive that four foot eight, he can really hold his own. Sure can. Throw somebody right into a tumbler. But he clearly had followed you and waited for you.

I mean, you should, you should, can you return the items that you took from his lawn? I think that that would make things better. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yes, I can return the Easter decorations. Yeah. Well, that would be amazing. Honestly, and this is probably going to make me sound even more prejudiced.

I didn't know Italians celebrated Easter. Does that make me sound bad? Am I bad? It's strange more than anything. Yeah. I mean, maybe ignorant. The Italians do tend to be, you know, let's see, Catholicism is a big deal in Italy. And that's definitely, they definitely celebrate Easter.

Yeah, it's carried over. Gosh, I'm learning a lot about myself and how prejudiced I am. We are too. Yes, we are. And didn't know this before we went on air. No, that was an interesting side street in this avenue of conversation. Well, let me recap a couple of things that I've learned. I'm prejudiced and I got to learn to deal with those things.

Okay, yes, great, great, great. Yeah, some of those things are deep-seated, and I didn't even know I was doing them. Right. Number two, assuming that someone has abandoned their property can easily be construed as theft. So I should kind of reel back on that. Especially if you then do steal it. It's definitely theft.

Yes. Yeah, that's a great point. Yeah, so I'll add that. I'll incorporate that. Probably won't take much to update the sticker on my pickup truck. No, it really won't. It's very easy. Yeah, you can do it online now.

You sure can. And they send you the sticker in the mail. And number four, and the final one, your husband's got kick-ass taste in music. Well. Seriously, I hear that Chicka Cherry Cola song coming out of the garage right now. Well, Marcus, thank you for being our guest. And thank you for being our guest and thank you for clearing this mystery up.

And I think we've all learned a little something. I think so. And I really hope that maybe you can make amends with this man and I sure hope that you go take that stuff back today. Well, thanks for letting me clear my name. I know that I also

smeared it while I was here sharing my opinions with you. That's all right. Well, you just gave us your first name, so I think you haven't brought disgrace to your family. No, you're fine. I think you're fine. Yeah. Well, my last name is Peterson. Well, there we go.

There it is. Okay. Well, Marcus Peterson, thank you so much for being here. We have to take a break. When we return, we'll wrap up the Neighborhood Listen. Hi, my name's Susan. Drum set and more. Check out the photos.

$10 enough. Drum set as shown. As symbols and stool and cases. Randy, no. Get out of here. I'm doing something. I'm doing something. I took them to get cleaned.

Okay? What? Drum symbols, hardware. Let me finish recording doing something. I took them to get cleaned, okay? What? Drum symbols, hardware. Let me finish recording this thing. Drum symbols, hardware, stool cases, et cetera. There's a much, much more than that on the podium. Are you selling my drums? Shut up! I'm doing something important.

Buy a piece or build a set or buy it all. Just make an offer. Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!! I Randy, just come and get that goddamn drop. You're not even good, Randy. He said I could have him if I went to military school for a year. It's going to make me leave your father. Come get the drop. And we are back with the Neighborhood Listen. We're in our final act. Oh, yes. I like that. Marcus was quite an interesting guy.

He sure was. I hope he learned. was quite an interesting guy. He sure was. I hope he learned. I hope what he takes away from his appearance here today is that people don't tend to abandon things on their own porch. Yeah, you know, I have a little, a cute little sign,

a decorative sign that says something about, you know, hello spring. I sure hope, I should have Doug go see if that's out there still. Yeah, yeah. Hey, babe, can you go make sure that there's, that my wooden bunny that says, oh boy. Hey, babe, can you go make sure that there's my wooden bunny that says...

Oh, boy. No, can you turn it down? Doug, babe, we can hear you. We can hear your Everlast. We can hear you. Oh, my God. I mean, it takes me back.

Sorry, what do you need? What do you need? Never mind. I'll just do it later. We're about to finish. Marcy Playground starts playing. God almighty. Anyhow, I have this one.

This is kind of a funny. This is kind of a funny post. You know, that was sort of a heavy involved. It became very heavy. It became very heavy. So let's just lighten it up a little bit. Let's lighten the mood because I saw this. It caught my eye and I thought this was, well, it's kind of delightful.

This post. Oh, fun. It's from Lola and and it says, Sprouts Vegetarian Sandwich. That really is the title on the same app where you can list missing cats and stolen cars. I'm intrigued. A couple of weeks ago, I bragged about the vegetarian sandwich at Sprouts. She doesn't say to whom. I don't know if it was on this app.

She also doesn't mention that she is the owner of Sprouts. Nope. I think she just went there. I don't know if it's a brag to say that you liked a sandwich. It's a really strong word to use. Yes, it is. I wouldn't hear someone say, like if you said to me, say to me, I had a great vegetarian sandwich. Oh, I had a great vegetarian sandwich.

Brag. That doesn't fit, right? It doesn't fit. I know my kids are doing that all the time, but that doesn't work. All right. I had it again today. It is by far, now this is a strong statement, the best sandwich I ever had. Ready?

Coast to coast. She's saying the entire contiguous United States. Correct. This is not just the best vegetarian sandwich. It's the best sandwich. The best sandwich, period. That's a bold claim. Capital S sandwich. Today, they added sandwich. It's the best sandwich. The best sandwich period. That's a bold claim. Capital S sandwich.

Today, they added nice slices of avocado to the mix. This just happened. This just in. Sliced avocados. Nice slices. Nice slices, which I don't know what that means. Their rolls are fabulous, and the dressing is finger-licking good. Mm, disgusting.

If you had... Now, now, this... You thought she was going far. Are you ready? She can't go any further. Oh, you misspoke. You spoke too soon. If you had to choose one meal before going to the electric chair...

Oh, this has gotten grim, it would be this sandwich. I wish you hadn't raised the specter of capital punishment in this post about a sandwich you enjoy. It's only $4.99. That's reasonable. And the best thing you could ever buy for the money. Trust me and enjoy. It's just a suggestion. It's just a suggestion. Wow.

It's just a helpful suggestion to everybody. But I'm going to say, final meal. What's her name again? Her name is Lola. Lola. And man, oh man, I hate to say it. This makes me crazy because this is what's going to happen. I want to try the sandwich.

Well, here's the thing. Of course, I want to try the sandwich happen. I want to try the sandwich. Well, here's the thing. Of course, I want to try the sandwich, too. I want to try the sandwich. But Lola, I feel as if you've created such an unreal expectation in people's minds. I also wonder if Lola gets out much. Because I would need to know how much she's traveled. I would need to know if she's had an In-N-Out burger from the West Coast, a lobster roll from Cape Cod. Two things I have had

that I think are fantastic sandwiches. Has she had a Philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich? Yes, a cheesesteak. Has she had a hot beef? Chipped beef? Chipped beef. Oh, sure.

That is a thing. It is a thing. What's the one in Chicago? Well, I mean... Hot roast beef? is a thing. It is a thing. But what's the one in Chicago? Well, I mean. Hot roast beef, something roast beef. It's more like pizza and strombolis, no? Well, they have deep dish. But there's a famous, Jay Leno opened a sandwich shop there.

Oh, dear. On the street, the one of these famous sandwiches. You got me there. I don't know. I can't eat all that heavy stuff. Is it a famous French dip from Philips in Los Angeles? Sure. Is it any of those? No, it's a it's just a avocado filled.

Recently avocado filled. Recently avocado filled. And that was even before the avocados that they pushed her over the edge. That pushed her into the area of if you're going to get executed, eat this. Now she has to proselytize. She has to become evangelical about this sandwich. Yeah, and I don't know why she got so dark. I mean, that's a strong statement to say this is what you're going to want right before you die.

Because here's the thing. There's no way I'm not going to judge it by that criterion. You must. You must. You must. You can't shake it from your mind. It's there. It's out there.

Of course you can't. If you eat this sandwich. I'm going to picture myself walking the Green Mile. There's Tom Hanks. That's right. Finally able to have sex with his wife again. That guy with the flies isn't going to save me. No, he's gone.

He's gone. All right, well. I hated Sam Rockwell so much in that movie. He played such an evil, evil man. I forgot that he was in it. He loves to play a racist. He's always that guy that you hate. He loves to play a racist. Yep, he sure does.

Why is that? I don't know. He could play Marcus in the movie of Marcus's life. I don't know if that's a racist enough part for him. Probably not. Well, that does it for this edition of the Neighborhood Listen. We want to thank you for listening to our neighborhood.

Yes. And thank you from everyone here and from Doug in the garage. Thank you. Anything else to add, honey? Nothing much. Great. Yeah, that's it. All right, then.

Bye. And goodbye. Bye.