The Neighborhood Listen - Tea Towels, Burnt's Murphy Bed Update + A Succulent Surprise w/ Amanda Lund
Episode Date: September 7, 2020This week, Joan and Burnt discuss Joan's failed Etsy shop, scandalous park activities and an update on Burnt's murphy bed! Plus, Andrea (Amanda Lund) comes into the studio to discuss her succ...ulent business.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
And I'm Nicole Parker.
On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood
networking website.
That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.
All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this
neighborhood website.
Occasionally, we change the names of some streets.
And that's all you need to know.
And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen.
This episode's guest, Amanda Lund.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your neighbor.
Good.
In Dignity Falls, you're never alone.
You've got the NeighborHap app and us.
Burn.
And Joan.
From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.
We'll cover it all.
And meet new neighbors as well.
We'll chat about any posts meet new neighbors as well.
We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen.
Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. Hello. I'm sorry. I'm so excited. I'm excited.
You know what, Joan? I'm always excited to record this show with you.
Isn't that lovely?
So am I.
I feel exactly the same.
I feel exactly the same.
I feel like it's great that we're getting to know our neighbors.
Yep.
It's great that we're spreading the word about Dignity Falls.
Yep.
And it's great to be able to spend some time with a friend.
Hear, hear.
And it's working, right?
I think the podcast is working for the goals that we set out.
I think it is.
I think it is.
And I think the proof of the effectiveness is that we're still doing it.
I agree.
And people are stopping me in the grocery store and saying that they're having a great
time listening and learning more about the neighborhood.
And I just think, hooray.
Do you know, I got recognized.
Oh, you did?
At the Best Foods Pavilion.
It's the best.
Which one?
It's the one that sells Hellmann's.
It's the only one like it.
It's an all mayonnaise pavilion.
You do love Hellmann's and I have to say, I have a strong aversion to Hellmann's.
But do you like Best Foods?
I do.
They're the same thing, Joan.
What?
This is what-
No.
No, exactly.
What are you telling me right now?
Hellmann's and Best Foods mayonnaise, they're the same mayonnaise with a different name.
That's like saying that Heinz ketchup is the same thing as the thing you get that says
catsup, like when you go to like Carl's Jr. or something.
It's not the same. I don't know what the difference is between ketchup and catsup. It just reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, it reminds me, side cartoon. Yes. You know, like how someone's trying to trap, like a cat's trying to trap a mouse.
Exactly.
And it's put a sign that says, cats up.
Like, just the same thing where I think one time there was like a.
Why would the cat give the mouse a heads up about cats?
No.
I told you it was, it wasn't thought out.
But, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like when a, when a dog's trying to trap a cat in a far side cartoon.
There we go.
Now we're talking.
It says cat food and he spells it F-U-D or something. Cat fud. Cat fud. Isn't that fun? That's right. It's like when a dog's trying to trap a cat in a Farsight cartoon and it says cat food and he spells it F-U-D or something.
Cat Fud.
Isn't that fun?
That's right.
It's so fun.
We have the whole anthology.
The twins used to be very into Farsight.
And then they tried to sort of reenact some of them in real life, you know.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, you know.
Same thing with Calvin and Hobbes.
You know, I was definitely the house that had like massacres of like, you know, bloody snowmen in the front yard.
Doug remembers.
He had to clean up after it all the time. god where is doug today by the way oh he
is in the uh well it's in the the craft slash memorabilia room oh you to be honest it's also
where it's become sort of a catch-all we call it we call it the we were just talking about we call
the room of requirement you know like in harry potter where it's just kind of it's kind of
whatever you need it for what is that oh burnt do you not know the harry potter series you know, like in Harry Potter, where it's just kind of, it's kind of whatever you need it for. What is that?
Oh, Bernd, do you not know the Harry Potter series?
Do you not have, you haven't read them?
I, is it like the Bourne Identity?
Oh, wow.
Doug, are you getting this?
Can you believe this?
Well, I do love the Bourne Identity.
Sure. He does love the Bourne Identity.
He tried to take that fighting style the year it came out.
Magazine fighting?
Really fast, really fast.
I love running.
And he wore a lot of black.
He was running through the city a lot.
He loved running through the city and he drove down the stairs once because that's what he does in Paris.
And he wore a lot of black turtlenecks.
And he made me like cut and dye my hair like a girl.
Oh, that's.
It was a whole thing.
We went to a bank and tried to get into a...
We have a security box,
and we went in and pretended as if it was, you know,
a super espionage moment.
Okay, but it was your security box.
It was our social security.
You were not trying to...
All that's in there are my kids' teeth.
Those will be worth something someday.
Ooh, I don't know about that.
You know, their baby teeth. Their baby teeth. That's I don't know about that. You know, they're baby teeth.
They're baby teeth.
It's one of the first things that they ever, oh, I could just cry thinking about it right now.
This is astounding information, but may I press pause on our conversation and may I ask Doug, where do you think these teeth are going to be worth something?
Where?
Yes.
Well, let's also find out when.
well let's also find out when well maybe in a
sort of a post apocalyptic
world
where we have to barter
items and body parts
and you know
babies too that I could imagine
Doug I wouldn't want to give them away
well I think it would be
I gotta ask you just to
give me one second with Doug here
who would want the baby teeth and for what purpose be our ancestors. I gotta ask you just to give me one second with Doug here. I'm sorry.
Who would want the baby teeth and for what purpose?
Well, the
tooth fairy definitely wants baby teeth.
Okay.
So, in this
post-apocalyptic future, you're
thinking that maybe
mythical creatures will come into
existence?
Will Santa Claus,
the Easter Bunny, the whole gang?
I wasn't thinking about it to that extent necessarily.
I was just thinking of an example of someone
who does want baby teeth. So I know that
that motivation does exist
for some.
Alright, T-Pose. And you're a father
of three. Yeah.
That's right. Okay. So, you know, anyways.
Lots of baby teeth.
He loved, how did we get on this?
Oh, the Room of Aquirement, really quickly.
The Room of Aquirement is a room in Harry Potter where it's in Hogwarts and it basically becomes whatever you need.
So if they need a place to store things, they open it up and it's got all this room to store stuff.
And they need a place to practice.
Like if they wanted a gym, they open it up and it's a gym.
It's like the holodeck from the Star Trek series.
That I understand, of course.
Okay.
Let me ask you this.
When you say a room in Harry Potter, is he like a sentient building?
Is this like a meet Dave situation?
Oh, come on.
Have you not even seen the movies or anything?
Harry Potter?
Oh, there's movies.
Oh, wow.
You know what?
I thought it was weird that you couldn was weird that you never made a sandwich.
But now I actually think this is crazier.
How have you walked through this?
How have you walked this earth and not learned anything about Harry Potter?
This is news to me.
I don't know.
It was a zeitgeist.
It was a movement.
Was it really?
Because millennials introduced themselves as one of the four houses.
They say, hi, I'm Harry.
So he is a house.
I'm a Hufflepuff.
Oh.
No, okay.
He's a wizard. It turns so he is a hufflepuff oh no okay he's a he's a wizard he's he turns out
he's a wizard he had magical appearance and they were killed uh by a evil wizard whose name we
don't mention and uh why do we not do that because it's he's evil and he might come and get us yes
all right it's voldemort okay it's voldemort you made me do it and and he we seem to be safe he
gets he gets spirited away to hogwarts which is basically like a Harvard for wizards and witches.
And there's all these great British actors there.
In the book?
Well, I mean, it's just Maggie Smith, Dame Maggie Smith.
It's amazing British actors.
They've written these actors into the book.
Oh, my God.
So Harry Potter goes into the magic Harvard and he says, oh, nice to meet you, Dame Maggie Smith.
I'm a huge fan.
I love Tea with the Dames.
This book would never have worked out
if that's how it went.
No, he has a vendetta against this.
Well, you can imagine my surprise.
Of course.
Listen, it's just a fantastical thing.
There's dragons and spells, and it's wonderful.
Like Game of Thrones?
Yes, but less disappointing at the end.
Depending on who you are.
I don't know.
Well, it sounds interesting.
Listen, the kids read them a million times over.
I will lend you the first one, okay?
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Or if you're from Britain, the Philosopher's Stone.
I have that version too.
Well, and it doesn't matter.
It's just sort of a fun, it was a fun trivia bit.
But anyways, he's in our room of requirement, which has some crafts from when like I had
a fever dream and wanted to be a crafty person.
And guess what?
Didn't work out.
I hate a hot glue gun.
Well, you, I remember you saw that interview with Candy Spelling and you said, I need a
room like that.
I did.
It was, I was going through a bit of an identity crisis.
It's when, it's, it's, it's, it's when I decided to take a year off from real estate
and it was a bad idea.
I went crazy. I didn't leave the house that was a dark it was a dark time it
was a dark time and you opened that etsy shop i opened the etsy shop and it was just it was tea
towels with um you know sort of just like i tried to hand so you know different insects on the lady
bugs or whatever and it was just it didn't. And then I tried to do like personalized tea towels. You had a black widow one?
I had a black,
I had a black widow,
um,
trivet.
And,
and,
uh, you know,
and you put,
you put the,
the,
the hot stuff right down on the red hourglass.
Um,
but unfortunately,
uh,
when you put something hot on it,
it melted again.
I just,
I didn't do it right.
I mean,
I used a very melty thread.
Yes.
I remember you and thread in a trivet.
Um, cause it was, it was the, uh, it was the, it thread in a trivet, because it was the,
it was the,
it was the,
it was the,
the,
the,
the,
the,
the,
the fabric trivet,
not the ceramic.
It was like the woven.
Yes, it was the fabric woven.
Yeah.
Well,
because I was trying to think,
oh,
he's a spider web.
Of course,
of course.
What weaves it,
so I wanted to be woven.
Yes.
It didn't work
and I only sold a few things.
And so now all this,
I made,
I made thousands.
I made thousands because I didn't leave the house.
And now they're just sitting there in the room next to all of Doug's memorabilia because it's all of his stuff.
And the biggest thing that's taking up space is the desk from L.A. Law.
You did win that auction.
He has a Susan Day thing.
It was like a whole thing.
It was a desk that she used, and it is huge.
It's a hero desk from L.A. Law. used and it is huge. It's a hero desk from LA law.
Yes.
Is that the proper term?
A hero desk?
I see that a lot on eBay.
Yes.
Oh, a hero desk.
Okay.
I like that.
Yeah.
It means it was actually used in the production.
Oh, how fun.
Doug, did you hear that?
Isn't that funny?
You have a hero desk.
That's news to me.
Are you sitting at the desk?
Where are you sitting?
I'm standing.
I like to stand while I record.
Well, there's also not a lot of room in that.
I mean, it's also where the twins keep their paintball guns.
It is packed to the rafters.
It's packed to the rafters.
Yes.
So that's where he's at.
And he sounds pretty good.
You sound good in there.
Sounds good.
Oh, thank you.
I feel good.
Well, that's more information than we were going for.
You didn't care about that?
That I feel good? I mean, it's more information than we were going for. You didn't care about that? That I feel good?
I mean, it's nice.
Burton, sometimes I feel like you and Doug, we're going to have to get into this one time.
Sometimes you guys, I don't know, you guys kind of butt heads a little bit.
Oh, I don't think that's true.
No.
No.
See?
I know.
Okay, well, you know what?
That's just.
No, we do sometimes.
That's the difference between guys and gals.
Sometimes I think that guys are fighting and they're just not.
They're just communicating. Women, you always know? That's just... No, we do sometimes. That's the difference between guys and gals. Sometimes I think that guys are fighting, and they're just not. They're just communicating.
Women, you always know when they're fighting.
Always know.
And we kind of never aren't.
Well, anyways, I feel like maybe we should get on to the first post, right?
We should.
We should.
I went down a long path teaching you about Harry Potter, but listen, I'm going to send
you home with the first book.
It's magic. It's magic.
It's magic.
I don't want to ruin anything for you, Bert.
No, I know.
It's about magic.
Yeah, it's wonderful.
You're just going to love it.
I hope so.
I hope so.
All right.
Well, I want you to read a couple chapters so that next week when we sit down, you can tell me one thing about that book.
Okay?
I'm always hesitant with anything with magic because I was so terrified by the Anthony Hopkins film Magic.
Oh, is that the one about the dummy?
He plays an emotionally disturbed ventriloquist.
Yes.
Yes.
I mean, that's redundant, right?
That's redundant.
Is there another guy?
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, I will give it a shot.
I'll give it a shot.
There's no ventriloquist dummies in there, is there?
No, and it's not creepy.
It's magical in a non-dark black magic way.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Fantastic.
I mean, until you get to the Voldemort stuff.
And actually, it's pretty quite dark, especially for a children's book.
It gets heavy.
It's a bit of a flip-flop.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to talk myself out of it, and I need to talk you back into it.
So I'm going to send you home with the book. Would you want paperback or hardcover? I'll take paperback
in case I drop it in the tub. You read most exclusively in the tub? 90% of the time, I
would say. Okay. You know, because my Murphy bed, it's still broken. Still? Still broken.
Burns, this is terrible. I know. I've written to so many people. Can anyone help me with this?
Who have you written to?
Well, I put it on NeighborHap, of course.
You did.
I didn't see that post.
Is there anybody out there who's an expert in Murphy beds?
Not a single person wrote back.
And so now I am just, what I'm trying to do is sort of, so I don't have all the blood
rushing to my head or I don't feel like I'm sliding down a chute.
Right.
What I've taken to doing is sleeping sideways on the bed.
Well, then how do you not just roll constantly all night long?
How do you not?
Well, I end up just at the headboard.
Oh, God.
Why don't you place some bolsters on either side?
You can put like two bumpers on either side.
Like, you know, roll up some towels.
Well, then I feel like I'm creating less room for myself.
If I'm perpendicular to the bed, you see, because I'm lying sideways.
So my head and my feet are hanging off the bed.
Oh, it's very small.
Because you're sort of an average height.
How tall are you, Bernt?
I am famously very tall
my mistake for not remembering that you know you know what it is it's because we're always sitting
we're always sitting across from each other and i always forget all right so now every as as
listeners know we discuss uh posts from the neighbor hap app app relevant to the goings-on in Dignity Falls.
And Joan, you have one for us today to start us off.
I do.
Now, here we go.
This is from Elle.
The title is,
Two Kids Totally Having Sex in the Park.
While walking my dog in the park
near the fountain at 7.30 p.m.,
I observed a rustling gray blanket mound.
As I turned the corner...
That's one of the most fearsome creatures
in Dungeons & Dragons.
Oh, is it?
Rustling gray blanket mound?
I find it so funny that you know D&D
and not Harry Potter
because they really kind of go hand in hand.
Yeah, Harry Potter, yeah.
All right.
As I turned the corner,
the blanket lifted.
A girl popped out,
adjusting her underwear and dress
and wiping her mouth.
Boy got up, adjusting pants and hair.
This woman does not believe in articles of any kind.
She's just giving you the Tarzan facts.
Boy got up, adjusting pants and hair.
Called security about it, but it didn't sound like the guy.
It's like she's on a walkie-talkie.
She's got to get the facts out fast. Called security about it. Here's why. Do like she's got to get the facts out fast.
Called security about it.
Here's why.
Do you know why?
I'm going to reveal why.
Called security about it, but it didn't sound like the guy was all too concerned.
They are still there with said gray blanket.
As I post this, she's doing this in real time.
OK, they look to be about high school age.
Stay classy.
Dignity falls.
And here's my question.
Stay classy. why are you
still watching the girl the kid's doing it that don't absolutely get out of there ellie you're
kind of pervy four fingers pointing back at you that's exactly right yes i mean she's sitting
there staring that's why she's texting or how i'm texting i don't know but or maybe through a
microphone she's saying this but that's why she's saying it with this clipped speech because she's
she's like i'm a stakeout watching these two.
And then guess what?
She describes them.
Person one, hair.
It's funny that she says person one and person two, not boy and girl.
Person one, actually it just says person one, girl, long, black hair, wavy, boy.
Here's what's confusing.
She says person one and then she says girl, long, black hair, wavy, boy, long brown hair, ratty.
She's all over the place with her list making.
Could this have been a threesome?
A boy and a girl and then person one?
Who's this mystery person one?
And she describes just the hair, and then she describes the top.
Girl, black dress.
Boy, brown pants, plaid shirt, bottom, skateboard.
Now, is that a euphemism or what's happening?
Skateboard?
You know, what makes me think of is, you ever see the film Trading Places?
I have. With Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd.
Yes, yes.
Great movie. Yeah, and at one point, Eddie Murphy, he's a confidence man at the beginning of the film Trading Places? I have, yes. With Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. Yes, yes. Great movie.
Yeah, and at one point, Eddie Murphy, he's a confidence man at the beginning of the film.
And he is pretending to be a legless person.
Ah, yes.
And so he's got a sort of skateboard that he's kneeling on to make it appear that he does not have legs.
Yes, yes.
Could this have been that situation?
I don't know. But the problem, again, I come back to is, lady, if you stayed long enough to describe this much detail.
I'm sorry, but plaid?
You were able to see plaid?
And I'm assuming this is at night.
I don't know what time this was, but I think this is at night.
You know what's funny is I imagine it was during the day.
You did?
I did.
Sex under a blanket, a gray mound of blanket in the middle of the day.
On a nice afternoon.
I mean, for two teenagers, I mean, they should be in school.
I just hope they're practicing safe blanket mound sex.
True.
Yeah.
I mean, a blanket mound is not protection enough.
It's not.
Not these days.
As a pharmacist, I can tell you.
Oh, sure.
I bet you can.
A blanket mound is not going to prevent a pregnancy.
Amen to that.
Everybody, just in case you were wondering.
A lot of kids think if we're in a mound, you can't get pregnant.
It's not true.
Exactly.
And also, if we're in a mound, no one can see us.
Guess what, kids?
Everyone can see you.
Elle's going to watch you.
Well, that's great.
And she's going to report on you.
And so, you know.
A little of our own Dignity Falls' own James Elroy.
And I think the lesson is here, just keep
your skateboard zipped. You know what I mean?
You know what?
Here's what I will say.
Speaking as a man, or if I can speak
to the younger generation.
You can do both. A gentleman,
I'm not trying to kink shame anyone,
but I will say that
a gentleman
leaves his mode of transportation outside of the canubial bed.
Oh.
If you're going to have sex with a young lady, well, don't bring your skateboard into the lovemaking area.
Oh, I see.
Oh, is that your thing?
Yes.
I think it's still very unclear what in the world Elle means by skateboard, but she must have just seen one.
It was in the mix somewhere.
Maybe that's person one.
Maybe that's the threesome right there.
Maybe.
Boy, girl, skateboard.
She said they were still there.
It's the new two girls, one cup.
I never saw it.
The twins talked about it,
but they said I would never want to watch it.
Doug watched it.
You watched it, didn't you, Doug?
Watched the entire thing multiple times.
Multiple.
Multiple times.
Yeah, I had some questions.
Some questions? There were just some parts I wanted to... Were those questions? multiple times. Yeah, I had some questions.
There's just some parts I wanted to relive.
So you had questions, but also some parts you wanted to
relive. I see.
Did any of those questions get answered?
I couldn't answer any of them. He was asking
me.
Because you're a girl, presumably.
And also hadn't seen it. And also, no, thank you.
I believe I answered it for myself.
Yeah.
Satisfactory.
Good.
Well, I'm happy for you.
It was, to be fair, during the time when I was crafting and not speaking and not getting out of my pajamas.
So he was left to his own devices.
And, you know, some mistakes were made.
Do you know, the strangest thing to me about your crafting phase was uh when you got so frustrated with it and the last thing you put up on the etsy shop
was a tea towel that just said fuck you and it went instantly oh yeah which is ironic you know
how many etsy accounts are now cross stitches of just like like absolute swear words right and just
you know that see you next
Tuesday or whatever.
You know, I started that.
I was ahead of my time.
You really were.
I don't have any recollection of making that tea towel.
I woke up, I had, I took several Ambien.
Yes.
And, and that was the product of it.
Like seven, eight.
I mean, yeah, that's about, that's, let's, let's call it seven.
I know we've discussed this before, but you shouldn't do that.
I know, I know.
And as my local pharmacist, pharmacist, pharmacist.
I do not prescribe pills to animals.
That's funny.
I also don't prescribe pills at all.
I'm not.
I can't get.
Wink, wink.
I can fill prescriptions, but I cannot.
Well, come on.
Okay.
Remember when the twins stole my pad?
Oh boy, that was quite a month. That was quite a month. I can fill prescriptions, but I cannot. Well, come on. Okay. Remember when the twins stole my pad? Oh, boy.
That was quite a month.
That was quite a month.
All they did was used it for ED medication, which two teenage boys do not need.
They were in the hospital for a week.
Well, Tim broke his penis that time.
He broke it.
All right.
We have to take a break.
Yeah, we should.
When we return, we will have a guest in studio as we always do here on The Neighborhood Listen.
Hello, this is Carmelo.
This is my listing.
Free pumpkins.
Price?
Free. Five medium-sized pumpkins need to be gone today.
Message me for address. Serious inquiries. They are curbside. I just want to reiterate.
Serious inquiries. Don't jerk me around. I don't want to get a bunch of looky-loos who just want to see five pumpkins together. These are free. If
you are serious, free pumpkins. Message me for address.
Carmelo has spoken.
Do you want to welcome us back?
Oh, yes.
Welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen.
I am Joan Pedestrian.
And I am Burnt Mia Payday.
We are the same people from before.
We have not changed.
No, you're still listening to the same show.
And Doug is still in the room of requirement.
Still there, surrounded by all of your items.
Well, and a big desk.
And a rather substantial television desk.
The hero desk.
Covered with items.
So we...
Is that an issue for you, Doug?
There's stuff you would like to do on the desk?
Is that an issue for you, Doug?
There's stuff you would like to do on the desk?
Well, it'd be nice to sit at a place and put my recording equipment on a flat surface.
Right.
Oh, but be honest.
He also does have a bit of a fantasy.
He wants to do some role playing where we do like a whole LA Lost scene, you know.
Where he would be Susan Day?
Yeah, that's the weird part.
And you would be Corbin Bernson?
Jimmy Smits.
Oh, Jimmy Smits.
Sure. Yeah.
And you would be Corbin Bernson?
Jimmy Smits.
Oh, Jimmy Smits.
Sure.
Yeah.
You know, and we have a real sort of like, this is, you know, this is going to go to trial.
No, it's not.
You know, this is a violation of Code 565.
Just a lot of technical law jargon.
Exactly, jargon.
Just gets him going, you know.
It's out of your jurisdiction.
Stuff like that just gets him real hot and heavy. When lawyers tell each other they're out of your jurisdiction. Stuff like that just gets them real hot and heavy.
When lawyers tell each other they're out of their jurisdiction.
I know.
I know that one's definitely more for cops.
Oh, I guess it is.
Is it?
I'm not sure.
All I know is that's what they say.
And also, watch yourself, counselor.
They say that a lot.
Okay.
So now we have our guest here. Yes, we do. This is kind of kind of a this has been i don't know if you've been following this this has been a major oh yes indeed on our local
neighbor half okay quite the drama boy oh boy quite the drama now it started with this woman
named andrea and she asked a innocent question violating rules i keep getting a message from a
lead named rick olson who is telling me I cannot post my succulent arrangements
in the for sale section of Nextdoor. Apparently, I am violating some rule. Does anyone know what
rule I am violating by selling my items to neighbors on Nextdoor? Rick, with just no K,
R-I-C, doesn't seem to be responding to my question. How else do I reach the community
other than by using a community app? Fair question. On another note, I'd like to say
thank you to all of the wonderful neighbors on this
app who have been supportive.
I really appreciate it.
Hashtag support local entrepreneurs.
Very long hashtag.
And she has spelled entrepreneurs incorrectly.
Well, that's a tricky one.
And maybe it's on purpose.
It's so many letters.
It's so many letters.
And now underneath, people had a field day.
They just took Rick out to, just dragged him.
I mean, this one guy says Rick sounds
like a complete ass clown. If I were you, I'd tell Rick he has a K to Rick's name. That's a real
that's a real diss. And she says, OK, well, these are succulent arrangements I'm making for my home
and they are personal items I'm selling. So it's confusing to me. I guess she doesn't understand.
People are saying, well, you can post them under the for sale sign for free. Sure. There's a lot of issues.
And then Rick came on, and I mean, he just, hey, he had a lot to say.
This way.
Really heated up when Rick got on.
Yes, he said, please be civil, everyone, calling someone names because you don't understand
the situation.
Only throws gas on the fire.
Ask a few questions first, and then post a protest.
This is not my job.
I started this site for our neighborhood because I like living here, and I think it's a great
tool.
So I didn't realize that Rick is, I guess. Rick, I think it's a great tool. So I didn't realize that Rick is... Rick, I think you're
a great tool, someone responded. Yeah, exactly.
Not really, I'm just saying.
They might as well have. It's a thing that somebody could have said. I didn't realize
that he was the Leonardo da Vinci of the
neighbor-hap. I wasn't aware of that. Do you know,
Jonah, this calls into question
something that I never thought about was
someone starts the
board for the neighborhood.
And I guess it was Rick.
I don't know this guy, Rick.
I don't know Rick either.
With a one C, it's either legendary wrestler Rick Flair.
Could be.
Or deceased Cars lead singer Rick Okasik.
Those are the only choices.
The only two RICs that I know.
The only two RICs.
Of.
Of.
I don't know the person. You know of. I don't know the person.
You know of.
Right, right, right.
But wouldn't that be exciting to find out that a celebrity lived here and didn't be false?
Wouldn't that be great?
So, so basically, Andrea just decides that she's going to take her succulents and go someplace else and that she has started her own succulent site on Instagram.
It's called And Succulents.
I suppose that's because her name is Andrea,
you know,
and,
but it does make you,
well,
we'll get into it.
Okay.
Well,
because we have her here in case you were wondering,
she is a white woman.
Most definitely.
And,
and we have her here and you know what?
She's going to tell us all about what,
because I mean,
this is,
this has been, it seems like
a very emotional time.
And I just want to see how she's doing.
Also find out more about these succulent designs.
Because to be honest, I don't really know all that much that you can do with succulents.
So.
I mean, I, I've, let's, let's bring her in and then we'll ask her our succulent questions.
Well, we have to bring, she's right here.
We've been talking about her.
Andrea.
Andrea.
Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks, Doug. Yeah.. She's right here. We've been talking about her. Andrea, everybody, please welcome Andrea. Andrea, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me.
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, we couldn't quite hear Andrea.
Am I live?
Am I live?
Maybe Doug should not have opted to go into a room crammed with junk.
Probably not.
Right now, it's the room of requirement.
We require you to do the sound, Doug.
One mistake ever.
Now, I have to say, thank you so much for having me here.
I am so excited to take this opportunity to clear the air.
Oh, great.
Because this, you know, I am a small business owner.
And all I've ever wanted to do is sell succulents.
Oh, you've ever wanted to do.
All I've ever wanted to do.
You're saying since childhood.
Since childhood.
It's been a dream of yours.
And when you say you're a small business owner, you mean you were one before you started this small business?
Oh, no.
This is now.
And I am a small business owner.
Now you are.
I am.
And I really always have been, although I've just started the small business.
But I've always been a succulent enthusiast.
That's absolutely right.
And in fact, I brought you both succulents here today.
Look at these.
This is adorable.
Well, this is very nice.
That's so cute. That's amazing. And, this is very nice. That's so cute.
That's amazing.
And okay,
so keep them inside
in semi-light.
Semi-light.
Semi-light.
That's like sort of a shade,
a half shade,
a half semi-light
and give them a little spritz
every couple of days.
Oh, I'll put mine in the sunroom.
That'll be a great.
No, that sounds like light.
The sunroom is too light.
I would say if I were you,
I would keep them
at the foot of your bed.
At the foot of the bed?
That's dangerous for you, Bert.
Just like on the floor?
Oh, you'll have sweet dreams.
But what about stepping on this cactus part?
This part's really spiky.
Oh, no, you'll get used to it real fast.
You should see all my calluses.
Yikes, those look infected.
They really, your hands just look like, it looks like you're wearing like fake hand gloves.
Oh, I never wear gloves when I'm handling the cacti.
Why don't you?
It's a more personal experience.
And that's with and succulents, you're never going to get a glove handled succulent.
Now, let me, this was my first question.
Okay.
So and succulents appears to be a play on your name.
Do you worry that it may cause people to believe you're selling something else primarily?
Yes.
And then also succulents.
Right.
What's happening before succulents?
Well, thank you so much for bringing this up and giving me the opportunity to clear up any confusion surrounding the name of my small business. So you're absolutely right that and succulents derived from my first name,
Andrea. Okay, we were correct. But there's another side to this story. Oh, this is exciting.
So growing up and loving succulents as much as I do, I developed a little bit of a reputation.
loving succulents as much as I do, I developed a little bit of a reputation. So any chance I got,
whether at a dinner party, a friend's wedding, or even the birth of my child, I love to talk about succulents. So my husband, my ex-husband, started to tease me that anything I was ever
talking about at the very end, if I hadn't brought up succulents, there was always a moment where he'd go, and succulents?
Oh, given that you said he's an ex-husband, was he teasing or was he pretty upset that all you talked about was succulents?
That is why we were divorced.
It sounds insulting.
I wondered that.
It does sound insulting.
Oh, yeah, it did.
It sounded like an aside, like a sarcastic aside.
How long were you married to this mean man?
Well, we have to go into it.
We were together 12 years.
We met in college.
That's a long time.
We were college sweethearts, got married right after we graduated.
I'll say with me and Doug.
Isn't it wonderful?
Yes.
But I have to circle back to my succulents.
Sure.
Because that's what it's all about.
A lot of people have preconceived ideas about succulents. I have all sorts of prejudices. People think,
listen, I'm not a plant person. I have a black thumb. So what am I going to do?
This is me. This is me, a black thumb as opposed to a green thumb. I cannot keep,
and you know, it's terrible because I am a pharmacist and part of that is wanting to
help things continue to live.
But I cannot keep a plant alive.
Right.
And so in your mind, people have probably suggested to you, well, why don't you try succulents?
Every single time.
Because they're hard to kill.
But they aren't hard to kill.
No, they're not.
I am spreading a message here today of love to succulents because they need attention just like a fern.
So you're positing yourself as a sort of ambassador from the succulent world to the human world.
That's right.
Yeah.
So is it less about selling these succulent designs and more about, I don't want to say this word, is this correct?
Advocating for the succulents?
You know, I like that.
And I like you.
I am a succulent advocate. Thank you.
I absolutely am.
What was it, when you were a child, what was it that drove you to succulent?
Oh, yes.
I wanted to know the same thing, Burns.
Yeah.
Well, this is the thing.
I've just always loved them.
And my mother.
Yes, that's been established.
We're trying to figure.
We're trying to find why.
We're trying to get to the heart of the matter.
Well, growing up, I lived outside.
I beg your pardon?
It was a communal living situation.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
And so there wasn't a lot of privacy, like a hippie sort of commune, like a commune, like a...
We weren't hippies as much as we were religious fanatics.
Okay.
So there wasn't a lot of shelter or privacy, but there were a lot.
There was a gorgeous cactus garden.
Okay.
All right.
So when I wanted any sort of privacy, I would sort of burrow myself
away among the cacti because no one was brave enough to go in there because you'd get real
scraped up. Well, sure. Right. And presumably you would as well, right? If you're sort of
burrowing into the... Yes, again, but you have to walk over the hot coals enough times and
eventually you develop the calluses. Is that something that you did in this community? Yes. Feel my skin. Oh Lord.
Your arms.
It feels like a rhinoceros.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
So you,
you've also been badly burned.
Is that what you're saying?
Oh no,
no,
no.
It's just from the scraping of the,
of the.
I see.
I'm sorry.
I thought,
I thought at some point the coals got literal,
but you,
you've been figurative this whole time.
Okay, but not figurative is you somehow finding solace and comfort in the bosom of a spiky cactus.
And ironically, the bosom of the spiky cactus was a lot warmer than the bosom of my own mother.
Oh, no.
This is devastating.
Terrible to hear.
And that was a metaphor.
Right, right. Sure, sure. Okay, yes. Yeah. Yeah. own mother oh no this is devastating and that was a metaphor right right sure sure okay yes yeah yeah uh your father what was he like well uh my father left when i was very very young um yeah so
he wasn't really around but i was afraid of that his presence loomed. Really? Yeah. And actually, he runs a Conroy's.
A flower's.
Does he really?
One of the last few ones.
I think so.
Yeah.
Maybe the last one.
Perhaps.
The last one.
Where is that one?
In Alaska.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, all right.
So, you didn't, I'm assuming, any siblings?
No. It's just me.
It's just you and the cacti.
Me and the cacti, right.
Anyway, so you might be able, you know, you could say I was raised by succulents.
I mean.
I don't want to say that, but I guess you could.
I guess if you'd like us to say that, we could say that.
That'd be great.
Okay, yeah.
So you were raised by succulents.
And then you carried this love of succulents into adulthood.
That's absolutely right.
And you said this is your first small business, but you have always been a small business owner.
Right.
So you mean like at heart, you've been a small business owner.
This was my destiny.
Wow.
So you can imagine how upsetting it was when certain people who I won't say their names
because I seem to get in trouble
when I do. Rick with an okay.
That might be
safe. I'll say it for you, Andrea.
I'll say it for you. Because there have been people
my entire life.
One of the leads. What is this, Glenn Gary
Glenn Ross?
There have been people my entire life trying to hold me down.
Not to mention the cactus, probably.
Right?
Well, they were lifting me up.
It must have been so painful.
So, yes, it was very painful when Rick decided to try and stop me from selling my succulents to the community.
And frankly, I was doing, you know, I was really bringing people together.
And you should look at my Yelp reviews.
Oh.
Because people were really enjoying these succulents.
And they love supporting a small woman-run business.
Were they reviewing the business itself or were they reviewing the actual succulents?
Well, they were reviewing the succulents.
I can read you a review.
I'd love to hear one.
I'd love to hear one.
This comes in from Chena.
Chena?
Chena Davis.
Like, is it a double E?
C-H-E-E-N-A?
Yes, C-H-E-E-N-A.
Chena Davis.
She says, I had the pleasure of purchasing a succulent from Ann Succulents for my mother's 65th birthday.
Andrea even gift wrapped the succulent for me.
How?
Very nice.
When my mother opened the gift, she couldn't believe it.
She said she'd always wanted a succulent, although she didn't know it until this very moment.
I'll never buy my succulents from anywhere else.
Those big succulent stores, well, they have nothing on Andrea.
All right, so that's just a taste.
Oh, she's talking about big succulent, you know what I mean, which is a problem in this country.
Yes, of course.
I mean, I wasn't aware.
You've got to go after anyone.
Go after big succulents.
I mean, look, I've never heard of Harry Potter, so this is another cultural blind spot for me.
I didn't realize that there were sort of big succulent stores.
Oh, well, have you heard of Home Depot?
I have.
I thought they sold other things, but they're pushing succulents mainly.
They're pushing succulents hard, but I'm going to tell you something.
The succulents there, they're not succulents. they're pushing succulents hard but i'm going to tell you something the succulents there they're not succulents what are they holograms what did not see that coming i i'm sorry what are you saying i'm saying they might as well be holograms
because those are mass-produced succulents i see i see glove handled mass-produced succulents. I see. Glove-handled, mass-produced succulents.
I didn't realize
that there was such a conspiracy
going on.
I just always, you know,
I thought succulents
were very innocent.
I also do have to say,
it's kind of amazing.
I thought they were
very innocent.
I thought it's amazing.
If I was given a cactus
that was gift-wrapped,
I would definitely know
what it was.
And I'm shocked
that you were able
to gift-wrap it so that the person did no idea what
was underneath that.
I mean, now that's, that's a skill.
Like if you get a basketball for Christmas.
Exactly.
That's interesting.
You say that because I put the succulent inside a basketball.
There you go.
And it didn't pop it?
That sounds like a lot of work.
You have to cut open a basketball.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
And then put the succulent in there, but you still want the basketball shape.
It's like a ship in a bottle situation.
It's a succulent surprise.
Oh, that's the succulent surprise.
That's what you order.
That's what you get.
That is a big part of the succulent experience is the succulent surprise.
It's the prestige, if you will.
Wow.
And the ex-husband, he used to say this and succulents sarcastically, but you've taken it back.
You've reclaimed it.
Absolutely.
I had to.
What was the other choice?
I was going to give up my love of succulents, feel shame.
Well, no, you could have called it Andrea's succulents.
Andrea's succulents.
You're right.
There has been a lot of succulent shaming, and we do need to put an end to that.
That's true.
You know, I realize that this is probably a more important platform than I mean, like I thought there was a lot of stuff going on in the world.
But now you've alerted me to this problem.
I mean, what's really been wonderful is that it's it's become such a topic of conversation for the neighborhood.
And how does that make you feel?
You have a sort of fame now.
People really ran to your defense.
I mean, they really were on your side for the most part. Listen, I'm just happy that
we got a conversation started.
Because people aren't talking about this.
A dialogue. A dialogue.
And I am so grateful for all
of the support. Because I'll tell you
what, despite Rick's attempts
at taking down my female
owned business,
business is better than ever.
And I have an announcement today.
Oh, that's good.
For all of your listeners.
Very exciting.
Another succulent surprise.
An exclusive.
An exclusive succulent surprise.
I'd like to announce that And Succulents is having a BOGO.
A BO, these are exciting.
Yeah, that's-
Buy one, get one.
Oh, you know.
Okay, good.
Yes, I do.
Well, I'm just not sure what you know
and what you don't know these days.
For all I know, BOGO could be a character in Harry Potter.
Oh, it should be.
There is a Bogart.
No, what's it called?
Help me, Bogart.
A Bogart?
There's something.
A Bogart.
There is something called a Bogart.
There's Bogart.
No, it's B-O-G-G-A-R-T.
And I believe that it's something, it's a magical thing.
I'll look it up for you as a break.
Andrew, are you familiar with these Harry Potter books? Oh, I love them.
See? I feel a fool.
Listen, what house are you?
I think I'm Mufflefart.
Oh, she has not
read them.
No, that's
what my ex-husband used to tell me.
Oh, this meanie. I do not
like this guy. Andrea, you belongie. I do not like this guy.
Andrea, you belong to the House of Mufflefarts.
Oh, brother.
For the record, that is not a house, Burnt.
That is an insult.
He sounds like a real... Slytherin.
That's what you say.
What's that?
That's the bad house, depending on who you are.
Oh, I was trying to think of the guy that doesn't have the name.
He's a real no-name.
Voldemort.
But he was from House Slytherin. He't have the name. He's a real no-name. Voldemort. But he was from House Slytherin.
He does have a name.
He who must not be named.
Which is probably what you say about your ex-husband.
What was his name?
It was Crafty.
His first name was Crafty.
With a C or a K.
With a Q.
Now that I did not see coming.
Q-U-R-A-F-T-Y.
Those are like the Quran.
What's the provenance of that name?
Where's he from? He's from Alaska.
Oh, where your
deadbeat dad lives. That's right.
That's exactly right.
Now, Bert, I cannot but notice that your succulent is already dying.
Yes.
Just from being near you.
I didn't do a thing, I swear.
I've just been sitting here.
Mine is pregnant.
Three flowers.
I barely looked at it.
Yours is beautiful, Joan.
It's gorgeous.
And I mean, it is just, it's beautiful that, now, do you do this often?
Because it looks as if you meant this to spell strength.
That's right.
Yeah, no, that's right.
That's a collection of the flowers are arranged to spell strength.
Right.
And do you tend to do a lot of messages with the succulents?
Absolutely.
I can spell and this is my guarantee.
I can spell anything out of succulents.
Wow.
Right?
I just had an order come in yesterday that wanted me out of agave.
They wanted me to spell dye.
Why?
D-I-E.
D-Y-E.
D-Y-E.
Okay.
Why did my mind go to the most negative thing?
That's terrible.
No wonder your cactus is dying.
And why do they want this?
I don't ask questions.
Oh, fair enough.
That's another great thing about my company is that it's succulents for everyone.
I do not discriminate.
Do you ever worry that it's going to be like that cameo service where somebody might get
you to spell out something?
You know, they get celebrities to give well wishes to whatever.
But then you don't know what you're saying and they could be making you say something stupid.
Do you ever wonder if somebody's going to get you to spell something out that's not good?
Funny you should bring that up.
There was one order.
Don't match my energy.
There was one order that I had to say that's a no-go.
Oh, dear.
No-go for this bogo.
Yes, there was a...
And it was a succulent swastika.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
I was not about to do that.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Oh.
I don't like that there's someone even in this town that wants that.
No, you know, there's two Proud Boys here.
Explain.
Dignity Falls has two Proud Boys.
Now you have to teach me.
Proud Boys are this group.
Sure.
And they're a little, they're not good guys.
They call themselves Proud Boys.
Are these like tiki torch guys?
Some of them, yes.
Exactly.
I mean, these two guys in particular, I don't know if they have torches or not, but they're very proud of being white men and Western civilization and everything.
Doug, don't get any ideas.
They're led by this goofball who makes them promise not to masturbate.
Isn't that funny?
What?
Yes, that's part of their belief system.
Now, I don't know this for sure.
That sounds interesting.
Does it?
Doug, that's the part that gets you?
I know you warned me not to pay too close attention, but that part.
No, listen, Doug, I can tell you, I'm not a doctor, but I am a pharmacist.
And I can tell you that you need to masturbate and you need to do it a lot.
Well, this is taking a turn.
Well, it's just a public—this is just a PSA, I guess.
You do not need—my twins listen to this.
You do not need to tell them that.
Well, of course.
They're at that age.
By the way, it never ends.
Literally don't have any good socks in the house anymore.
Oh, girl, tell me about it.
Oh, really?
Do you have teenage boys?
No. No. boys? No.
No.
Well, Andrea, what would you like to tell people?
You have a BOGO going on.
I've got a BOGO.
She's got a BOGO, so buy one, get one.
How long will this offer last?
I'm going to just do something crazy right now.
Oh, wow.
I'm going to just do something crazy right now. Oh, wow.
I, for the next 24 hours, I'm extending my BOGO to become a BOGOGO.
Now, okay.
Spell that out for me, and then let's see if I can divine what the letters stand for.
A BOGOGO.
B-O-G-O-G-O.
Buy one, get one, get one, get one?
Is it get one more?
Should it be BOGOGUM?
Buy one, get one, get one.
So I'm no math genius, but I believe that's buy one and get two more.
That's three.
That's three.
Buy one, get three.
Yes.
Well, buy one, get two, making three.
Buy one, get one.
And one more.
Get one.
Go, go.
Bo, go, go.
You said bo, go, go.
It's bo, go, go.
So it's buy one, get one, get one.
That sounds like three.
That's what I'm saying.
Okay.
It's a good thing we're working this out right now for you.
Because there's a lot of confusion just in this room.
Now that it's been spelled out, we're all on the same page.
Do you want to do this? Because that's a lot.
The go-go, baby. Come and get
them. Now that's for the next 24 hours. Of course
we record these in advance, so that sale will
be over by the time you hear about it.
So that makes it even more
exclusive for the people that did. It sure is.
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
Listen, congratulations on this business and the best of luck to you.
I really do hope that you find love from another human person maybe than just the plants.
If that's what you're looking for.
Unless all you need is the plants and I guess Godspeed.
Well, Godspeed to you.
And what is your child's name?
Rekha. Okay. Thank you veryspeed to you. And what is your child's name? Rekha.
Okay.
Thank you very much,
Andrea.
We will take a break.
And when we return more of this show.
Hi,
my name is Susan and I have Star Trek Christmas ornaments for sale.
Three different vintage ornaments, two of one smaller ones.
I don't know what that means, but my husband told me to write it.
Larger ones, $15 each.
Smaller, $10 each.
They're from the 1990s.
My husband and I have decided together that it's time that these are not in the tree anymore
so that I can put more of my gold balls up.
Welcome back to The Neighborhood Lesson.
We just have time for one final segment.
And a lot of times in these segments, Joan, we end up talking about animals.
Lost pets, found pets.
So many animals, yes.
Pets that were reunited with their owners.
This is a turtle that no one cares about except for two months later.
It still bothers me.
Anyhow, go on.
We have this one.
This is, man, I just got to say good luck to these people.
Okay.
The headline is parrot!
Three exclamation points.
All caps.
Then a picture of a perfectly
parody parrot sitting on a teacup.
Oh, okay. I was going to say
coffee mug, but sure, yeah. He's a classic
parrot. Classic parrot.
And then a description. Turquoise
green cheek conure. I don't
know what a conure is. C-O-N-U-R-E.
Must be a parrot term. Must be a type of
parrot. Over a year old.
Blue, green, black, gray. So all the colors. All the colors that a parrot term. Must be a type of parrot. Over a year old, blue, green, black, gray.
So all the colors.
All the colors that a parrot can be.
Very stubborn, defensive, bites, might land on shoulder, wings and claws not clipped, doesn't know any tricks.
Might react to name Dijini.
D-J-I-N-I.
If seen or caught, please contact.
And then, of course, the number.
Please help, the person implores.
Here's what I'm going to say.
The thing that jumps out right away to me is wings and claws not clipped.
So goodbye to that parrot.
That's right.
I think that's the end of the story.
That parrot has flown back to South America or wherever it's from.
And it might not react to the name
because the name is very complicated.
I think if you called it Bob,
you might have a better chance
of it reacting to that name.
Dijon.
How do you even know?
No one knows how to pronounce it.
So that's why he's not going to come when you say his name.
No, you can't give your pets these complicated names.
I think the most complicated name for a parrot that you're allowed to give, Iago.
If you just want to go straight, Aladdin, fan reference.
I'm so ticked off, I'm molting.
Don't fire me from Aflac.
That's right.
I'm molting.
Don't fire me from Aflac.
That's right.
So I think like a parrot, I mean, would it kill you to name a parrot Polly?
Like, why not?
I mean, would it kill you to?
Why wouldn't you do it?
Or Polly.
Polly.
Right?
Polly Parrot.
Not to be confused with the actress who was fired because of her dogs.
Who is that?
Pauly Brett.
Don't know that story.
Fired from NCIS.
No, not New Orleans.
Oh, Doug watches all the NCISs.
NCIS Prime, I think.
The one with Scott.
No, that's New Orleans. NCIS Prime?
The one with Mark Harmon.
Oh, my mother loves that one.
Oh, does she ever.
Does she really?
Mark Harmon reminds her of her father for some reason.
It has to do with his hair.
I don't know.
She's very attracted to him.
How did she feel when he got that perm?
Oh, I'd have to ask her.
I don't think he can do any wrong.
Mark Harmon could burn her house down and she would be serving him tea in the front yard.
Here's the thing.
He apparently got her fired from her job on NCIS because she brought her dogs to such.
Oh, is this the one
with the bangs?
She's got bangs.
Polly Pratt's the one
with the bangs.
Yes, yes, yes.
That's right.
That's right.
She does kind of have
a bird look about her,
doesn't she?
She's sort of bird-like,
I suppose, yeah.
But her name is Polly,
P-A-L-U-Y.
P-A-U-L-Y.
Yes.
It's a shame it's not Polly
because she is so avian.
Correct.
Did you watch that one, Doug?
Yes, I watched all of them.
All the NCIS.
He literally watches all of them.
I mean, he almost has no time for anything else.
Do you know how many there are?
There are so many.
There's so many.
Is the Navy one with Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J?
NCIS LA.
Is that NCIS?
That is an NCIS.
It sure is.
Weren't they in the Navy?
No, that's the N in NCIS.
Correct. It's Navy. That's right. Okay. All right. Yeah. So sure is. Weren't they in the Navy? No, that's the N in NCIS. Correct.
It's Navy.
That's right.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
So why is there one in New Orleans?
I have no idea.
And I don't know why Dr. Sam Beckett is there.
He'll always be.
He'll always be Sam Beckett to you.
Hoping that the next leap will be the leap home. Oh boy
did I love that show.
Let's bring back that show.
You know?
We're bringing back Full House. I'm sure
they will. I'm sure they will. And Mad About
You. Let's bring back Quantum Leap. Are they bringing back
Mad About You? Oh they sure are.
That's strange.
Whether
we wanted it or not. Bring back room 222.
And bring back the genie.
Listen, if anybody sees an all-color parrot, he likes mugs.
Everybody, it's like Elijah.
Put a coffee mug on your porch.
Why is this night different from all other nights?
Because our parrot has flown away forever.
So let's see if we can get him back, guys.
And also the rest of the description.
Bear's mentioning the rest of the description.
He sounds like a real jerk.
I don't think anyone's inclined to help him.
That's stubborn defensive advice.
I mean, well, then good riddance, you know?
I mean, I'm sorry.
Is that harsh?
Who needs it?
Who needs it?
And is it important to note that he doesn't know any tricks?
Doesn't know any tricks.
You know what?
This parrot doesn't want to be found.
He doesn't know a single trick.
He did manage to do a disappearing act.
Oh, good one.
Good one, Bert.
I stumbled over that parrot burn.
Doug could always edit a different one
You can come back to the house and record a different one
Oh is that true Doug would you mind that
If I come up with a better parrot burn
Sure we could do that
We could schedule time
Are you okay in there
I know that it is a bit musty and there's not a window
So are you feeling okay
You should come up for some air honey
Sorry
Burnt recommended that I masturbate relentlessly.
You have not been masturbating during this last section, have you?
I don't know that I said the word relentlessly, and also, I didn't say you have to talk about it all the time.
He certainly didn't say relentlessly.
Ooh, ooh, Doug, I don't want to know.
Is that what you've been doing?
Oh, God.
Is that why you've been so quiet?
I don't think we should talk about that on the podcast.
No, I don't think so. But you were doing it.
Oh, we should stop.
We should stop.
All right.
Well, our thanks again to Andrea for being here.
And as always, thank you, Joan, for making this Delight Flower.
Oh, well, back at you, Bernd.
And I really hope that you have some luck with the Murphy bed tonight.
I hope so, too.
And look how black this plant is.
It is. It is.
It has a skeleton, which is shocking.
It is like it drank from the wrong cup at the end of that Indiana Jones movie.
Yes, it did.
He chose poorly.
Well, that's it for this episode of The Neighborhood Listen.
Goodbye, everyone.
And goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.