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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. And he can see no reasons
Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be sure?
Tell me why I don't like Monday
Tell me why I don't like Monday Tell me why I don't like Mondays. Tell me why I don't like Mondays.
It's the bluest Monday of the year, folks, according to some fucked up formula.
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
Ooh.
Yeah.
January 19th.
The whole day down.
Yeah, if you want to believe that horse shit, I don't.
Yes, I do.
Actually, I hate Mondays, but...
That's the Boomtown Rats.
Remember, uh, that song was written after some girl who, like, shot up her middle school back in the 80s.
Because she didn't like Mondays. That was her reason.
Yeah, it was going on back then, too. That's right.
Crazy, huh?
Yeah, there's some formula somebody came up with.
I love this shit.
Yeah, it's the saddest day of the year that some pseudoscientists
came up with a theory. It dates back to 2005. It's a campaign by Sky Travel, whatever the
fuck that is. The company enlisted former Cardiff University lecturer Cliff Arnall
to develop an equation to find out what day is the most depressing of the year.
First of all, today is MLK Day,
so I hope Sharpton doesn't get a whiff of this.
You know, he'll go crazy going,
really, you label it the saddest day of the year and it's MLK?
I suppose there ain't no irony in that. It just proves the country is racist. You know, he'll go crazy going, really? You label it the saddest day of the year and it's MLK?
I suppose there ain't no irony in that.
It just proves the country is racist.
I did not say what I said was so right.
What I said was... Working on my Sharpton.
That was pretty good, actually.
But the formula is...
In the equation, it's the six factors.
W stands for weather.
D stands for debt.
T stands for time since Christmas.
Time since failing our New Year's resolution is represented by Q.
Low motivational levels, M and N.
So it's W times D, debt, times T, which is time since Christmas, to the Q power.
Q, again, is low motivational levels.
That's divided by M, low motivational levels, times N to the A, whatever the fuck that is and um i gotta be honest with you
though i know it's a bunch of hooey but i did feel kind of yeah i looked at my week ahead
and i did kind of have that beginning of the year oh who gives a shit back to playing the clubs again
and that's uh yeah i did have that kind of, ugh.
So, I don't know.
Maybe there's a little something to it.
But, yeah.
Depends if you're a pessimist, which I am, an optimist, I guess.
But it is MLK Day.
A legitimate civil rights warrior.
That's understating the fact.
But, you know, they talk about Obama being such a great orator,
and, you know, he couldn't carry MLK Jr.'s bag as far as speaking. I mean, this guy actually had some, you know, import to his speeches.
And he was doing it, you know, he's putting his life on the line, basically,
because his country was way behind at the time in race relations.
So he put his neck out there and paid the price for it.
But man, you listen to his speeches, even today you get a chill,
because they, you know, he's taken a huge risk.
But let's listen to some of the great MLK Jr.
When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city,
we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men,
Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands
and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual,
Free at last, free at last, thank, free at last, free at last.
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.
It's also a married man spiritual.
It's been around a while.
Yeah, so we go from that.
Did you hear that?
I mean, that's a speaker.
We go from him to today's civil rights leader and a guy that goes to the White House 40 times a month and who our President Obama puts his faith in when it comes to race relations. The only nigga in the news, the only nigga can talk. Don't cover them.
Don't talk to them because you got the only nigga proper.
Because you know if a black man stood up next to you,
they would see you for the whore that you really are.
Talking about David.
We've got chicken fries in the universe.
But we don't go by some kind of sandwich chicken.
Then the Chinese have been coming in and throwing some hot pizza for the church. He's talking about chicken right now.
And Chinese restaurants selling chicken to black people.
This is what he's riffing on.
It's like a stand-up bit.
Huh. korean set us watermelon white in the lopi i said i was wrong uh uh cracker though i think cracker is a certain
personification of a certain type of person down south. Imagine we go from MLK to this guy.
And again, I'll say it again,
the president is best friends with this guy.
He's had him to the White House 80 times.
It's hilarious to me.
If a Republican even speaks,
remember with David Duke?
I mean, it would be whatever.
Strom Thurmond, who was the other guy that got booted out of Congress?
Because he made a joke about Strom Thurmond being right or something. Or some well-known white congressman who was considered racist at the time.
But it's just hilarious.
Can you imagine?
This would have been worse than having David Duke to the White House.
I mean, listen to this guy.
It's like redneck.
I mean, you know, some people misinterpret cracker meaning all whites is not true,
but the confusion means you shouldn't use it.
I mean, sometimes being flippant, you say things you shouldn't say
because it gets in the way of your message
and people don't really understand what you're saying.
From that to this.
When we allow freedom ring when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet from every state and every city we will be able to speed up that day when all of god's children
black men and white men jew and Gentiles Protestants and Catholics
will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual
free at last free at last
We learned to admire them, but they knew to admire us.
I think that hate is an emotion.
I would love to use love, but if I've got to use hate, I'll deal with what my hand calls for.
I think you get the idea.
Oh, man, we're going backwards.
We're in reverse with both feet on the gas pedal and as soon as this guy gets out of office i think we can turn the car around
maybe start uh heading forward
it really is well let's stay on the sharp i can't help it i can't help i don't want to talk about
him every week but i mean when he's uh you know like i said to the white house 80 times a year he is relevant and in the news and
the latest shenanigans uh of sharp well let me hold on before i do that let me plug my dates
okay because i'll forget this stuff you know me i'm a bad self-marketer first of all go to nick
dip.com get the uh my new hour special another senseless killing again you can get the you know
you can get the video portion or the audio or both or it's eight bucks or whatever you want to pay
eight is a minimum and like i said last week some guy paid 208 so um but it's good it's in the uh
it's in the top 100 or the top 50 uh pre-orders on it, but go to nickdip.com
because it'll be a lot cheaper now
than when it comes out on iTunes
in February sometime,
and Amazon and all that.
So you can save yourself a few bucks.
And it's moving.
I'm very pleased.
Once again, you fans,
the Apollo fans are coming through.
And quickly, dates dates before I forget.
This weekend, Friday the 23rd, I'm at the Suffolk Theater, Riverhead, New York.
It's a great theater.
I did it earlier in the year.
And then Saturday night at the Sports Haven in New Haven, Connecticut,
which I keep hearing nice things about.
So that's on the 24th, Saturday night.
All right?
And the following weekend, Bananas in New Jersey, Hasbro Heights.
Also, I think I'm skipping one.
Oh, Levity Live this Wednesday.
Levity Live, West Nyack, New York.
It's at that mall up there.
It's a beautiful club, by the way.
And Levity Live on February 4th, which is a Wednesday night.
All right, enough.
But I thank you for purchasing this special.
And it's moving very well.
Thank you very much.
Better than my weed to my school children.
Yeah, so Sharpton, since I talked to you last 9-1-1 what's your emergency
he actually had an emergency meeting about uh the Oscars nominations apparently they were all white. Holy Jesus. Can you imagine?
Can somebody please explain to Al Sharpton and de Blasio's of the world that the country, as much as you want it to be all black and brown, it isn't yet.
It's still almost 69, 68% white.
So things like this are going to happen.
If you're actually handing out awards on merit the chances
are good a lot of time they're going to be predominantly white okay al sharpton went
fucking ballistic because again he that's the only way he sees the world as black and white
being the ignoramus that he is um but uh yeah he he uh he uh you know he wants an emergency. He had an emergency meeting with Hollywood.
Because again, all the nominees and nothing.
There was no black in it at all, I guess, as far as nominations go for actors and actresses.
And can you imagine?
Oh, my God.
That really is an emergency.
Never mind, you know know black on black crime and
poverty and education being on the toilet as Archie Bunker would say he's panicking
can you imagine did I didn't even know that this makes it even more asinine. Do you know who Cheryl Boone Isaacs is?
She's the president of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.
Okay?
By the way, she's black.
Because Sharpton said Hollywood.
I made a reference to the Rockies.
The higher up you go, the whiter it gets. I can make a hip hop ministry joke,
but I can't think of one right now. Something about the lower you go, the blacker it gets.
It's like, I don't know. Somebody figure it out. If I can email me. Yeah. So he's going nuts. Even though last year, Best Picture was what?
12 Years a Slave.
And that also had,
it won Academy Awards
as Best Supporting Actress,
Best Adapted Screenplay.
It was nominated in six other categories,
including Best Director,
which was, I believe,
McQueen, Steve McQueen, black fella,
not the white Steve McQueen.
He'd be dead now.
So Sharpton believes.
It just took a year or so.
Yeah, it took a year or so, and they turned all racist in a year.
You know what it's about, kids.
We talked about it last week.
Didn't we talk about what he does?
He'd go to corporations like Toyota and say,
if you don't hire more black people or give more black dealerships,
then we're going to picket in front of your place.
And to shut him up, they would write a check to his National Action Network,
the one where he owes like $ and a half million in taxes.
If this guy was white, he would have been in jail eight years ago.
Fucking racist, my ass.
This just makes me sick to my stomach.
But that's what he's going to do, right?
He's going to shake down Hollywood.
Wants to put together a commission.
Let me tell you something, which is hilarious. And by and by the way yeah most of the voters
of the academy are old white gay guys i'm just guessing a gay most of them i can tell by what
they you know budapest hotel give me a break um but uh yeah it I mean, in my opinion, black people make up, what is it, 13% of the population in this country?
And, which is about what, 1% when it comes to actors and actresses? Not even, what am I saying?
What we're talking about here? You can make the argument they're overrepresented.
you can make the argument they're overrepresented since there are in every tv commercial you see uh every sitcom you can't have a commercial like i said i've been over this a million times if you're
just bear with me for you people who had never people who follow me but we all know by now and
i've been saying this for 20 years i was a little ahead of the curve but you can't have a commercial
right you can't have four white guys sitting there drinking Budweiser.
Or you can't have two white anchormen on a local news.
When's the last time you saw that, right?
Until we get past that, and I know people go,
well, no, the reason they make TV shows and commercials diverse
is they're trying to appeal to a wider audience
when they're selling Coca-Cola.
That's really kind of an insult to minorities.
So a black guy's not going to go into Burger King
unless the commercial has a black guy in it or whatever.
It's just, I think it's a little deeper than that.
That has something to do with it,
but I really do think it's deeper than that.
So Sharpton, yeah, he's got his panties in a bunch once again.
Can you imagine considering that an emergency?
Can you friggin' imagine with the world we live in,
with ISIS and the shit going on in Europe right now?
This is what's on his mind.
So, you know, I'm sure he'll go to each individual Hollywood studio
and require, you know, I'm sure he'll go to each individual Hollywood studio and require, you know, some type of quota.
And they'll give it to him because Hollywood's run by cowards.
And this is how we got to this point as far as political correctness run amok.
I think we can all agree it's a cancer.
Well, not all of us.
Most of us can.
But I got to tell you, as a guy who leans right in my politics, this is fun to watch libs attacking other libs.
You know what I mean?
Because all the nominees were white.
And if it was something else, you know, that wasn't Hollywood related, if it was a corporation, IBM or something, you know, Sean Penn and his boys or whoever will be, you know, pointing the finger.
I love it.
So they're attacking each other now.
You know? It's fun. be you know pointing the finger i love it so they're attacking each other now you know it's fine let them rip each other apart that's how i mean
you can argue the industry hollywood is the most least racist i mean i remember even hearing bill
maher saying his show a couple years ago arguing you know saying that come on if rep he actually
said if reparations are alive and well it's in hollywood i remember know saying that come on if rep he actually said if reparations
are alive and well it's in hollywood i remember him saying that and that's coming from you know
bill maher so the fact that sharpton thinks that there's some type of
oh man does he let it go does he ever let it friggin go for a second. Speaking of Big Al
Sharpton,
a woman has a book out. Her name
is Joyce Carol Oates.
And
she's got a book
out called The Sacrifice.
And what it is, it's based on
the Tawana Brawley scam.
And a few people, again, if you
I don't know, you must live in a cave
if you don't know about
the history of Al Sharpton.
We've been over it many times.
But again, since he's in the White House
so much and sits next to de Blasio
here in New York City at meetings,
we have to rehash his history.
But she's got a book.
Yeah, it's called The Sacrifice.
It's basically, it's
a, you know, a fictional version of the Tawana Brawley thing that went on here in New York
City. And I say you pick it up and read it so you can see what a disgusting ass he really
is, Sharpton. And, you know, the fact that people aren't chanting to have him banned from the white i'm interested to see what
goes on now you know after the cops get the two uh cops assassinated new york city a few weeks ago
i don't know if he's been back to the white house since i want to see if obama's still chummy with
him but that's enough uh yeah makes me sick so um yeah but the libs are eating the libs. They're tearing each other to shreds.
911, what's your emergency?
Yeah, I was watching the Oscar Awards
and there were no black people nominated.
Sorry, that's really not an emergency.
It most certainly is.
Because we're obsessed with race.
Yeah.
What else is going on
on MLK
Day?
Bill Cosby, back
on the news this weekend.
He performed in Denver, Colorado.
Apparently to a couple of packed
houses. I want to know the racial
makeup of that audience.
Just curious. Got a standing
ovation, I think, on Friday night. Can you friggin' imagine? I'm sorry, but I think the
evidence is in on that one, don't you? Why would you go out to see him? I mean, if you're
paying attention to the news,
are you that enamored with people you see on TV?
And like my buddy Kenny Rogerson said,
a comedian from Boston,
when I was first coming up,
he was amazed that some comics were selling out
that, you know, some famous people,
I won't mention names,
but he said, you know,
if you put a dog on TV enough,
people will come out to see it.
And that really is the power of television.
Yeah, he was at the Buell Theater
in Denver, Colorado Saturday night.
I guess there was a handful,
about 100 protesters out there.
But this is what Cosby said to NBC before the show.
What you'll see tonight is history.
You'll get to see me on stage.
You'll see this wonderful gift on stage tonight at the show as well as the people of denver you will see a master at work
you see a master at work
hmm i guess you could take that two ways yeah let's see a master rapist at work again my opinion
only i love how you have to do that you got to coach your opinion you know i guess the 48 women
who have come forward and all have the exact same story i guess those are just 48 coincidences but
everybody knows he's fucking guilty, scumbag,
in my opinion.
There was about 100 protesters out front,
and got a standing ovation.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
The night before he was in Pueblo,
before a packed audience.
So Colorado, once again,
is a state, you know,
it's really, really turned blue.
Blue as in no oxygen to your brain
and fucking retarded.
But that's what it breeds, right?
Liberal thought is, you know, don't judge anybody.
Don't judge anybody's behavior.
That's how we get to where we are.
If you judge somebody's behavior, you're an asshole.
Really?
Even a bunch of chicks are saying they were raped?
Yeah.
Even a bunch of chicks are saying they were raped.
Yeah.
Prior to his Colorado performances, Cosby issued a statement saying that the North American comedy tour
would continue despite the backlash against him.
Just shows how fucking retarded the world is.
Un-fucking-believable.
Unbelievable.
Uh. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
But NBC surprised the hell out of me,
because you know how I am.
You don't get a more left-wing network.
I'm sure people are blowing this stag over there,
commenting, how do you figure that?
I can't go into it.
If you don't understand by now you never will
in addition to canceled performances institutions and media networks have cut ties with cosby on friday nbc stated it would not work with cosby ever again so you know it's real okay but
a network like nb say, fuck you.
You know there's going to be a lot,
a lot of shit flying around out there.
I mean, every girl has almost the same story about his M.O.
I shook his hand.
He gave me a glass of Yoo-Hoo.
I woke up hanging from a ceiling fan
and he was peeing on my tits.
I told you.
I thought.
It's.
I was arguing with somebody about this.
In the 90s.
When I first came to New York.
And Caroline's in the green room.
I can't remember who the hell.
I was arguing with.
I didn't know if it was an argument.
I was just telling all the stories.
That I was hearing.
About Cosby.
But this shit's been around forever.
But yeah, go out and pay good money to see him.
I would just love to interview a couple of those people and what their logic was behind it.
And I'm not a big, you know, boycott, whatever,
but when the evidence is over,
if you interview him, they're going to go,
well, I don't care if he raped 28 girls
he's just really funny i mean this guy is a master at his craft okay so he he drugged a few girls and
and ruined their lives and but come on have you heard his bit about being at the dentist and
when he's trying to the he's got the dentist has the the hook in his mouth the thing it sucks to
spit up and and then that's the time the dentist starts to ask questions.
So where'd you go?
I mean, come on.
That is some of the funniest shit alive.
And then his kids, when they break shit and they lie to him.
You're going to let a few rapes get in the way of me seeing that type of material.
Come on.
Guy's terrific.
He wasica's dad
like pakistan's dead fucking
so yeah you people in colorado that went out to see him you fucking idiots and morons how about that
in my opinion. Excuse me.
Let's stay on sexual assaults, shall we?
That seems to be in the news.
Then there was headlines this weekend here in New York.
The governor.
Boy, what a two-faced cheesy dick he is too. He couldn't carry his old man's briefcase.
This guy's a fucking bleeding heart through and through.
But in relation to what we were just talking about,
Cuomo wants New York's private colleges
to spell out their legal definition of sexual consent
to an unequivocal Y-E-S.
This has been around for a while, too,
because I had a bit on it.
About, God, it had to be seven, eight years ago,
they were talking about how you had to get oral consent.
If you were with a girl, you know,
in her dorm room or wherever, your bedroom,
you had to get oral consent.
I remember they were trying to pass this on a few campuses
from the woman to go to the next level.
In other words, if you were grabbing her tits
and you wanted a finger popper,
but you had to get oral consent,
and my joke was, well, that's not going to work.
It's very hard to understand a girl
when she has a penis in her mouth.
Do you want me to kiss your neck?
What did you say?
Bite your tits?
So now, and we talked about this on an episode of Red Eye a year ago.
By the way, they don't call me anymore.
I don't know what I did to piss them off.
You know, made a gay crack or me anymore. I don't know what I did to piss them off. You know, made a gay crack or two, maybe?
I don't know.
Gutfeld seems very sensitive about that,
because I remember he's getting makeup put on,
and he goes, Nick, no, I'm gay, I jump over to...
Whatever.
Anyways.
Yes, the governor announced Saturday
he's submitting a bill to force private colleges
to adopt the same strict sex assault policies as those Cuomo recently mandated at all 64 SUNY that will be state schools
institutions he wants that uh this he wants that to go on at private schools now
under the guidelines partners must get clear involuntary consent for every advance in a sexual encounter.
Do you fucking believe?
And the libs were the ones who always used to make fun of the conservatives and say, stay out of our bedroom.
When there were laws and the books for sodomy down in Georgia and whatever.
It was always, stay the fuck out of our bedroom.
Can you imagine? Now they are actually, actually.
And again, this is part of that feminist horseshit to protect women.
Once again, women are victims here.
And I know sexual assault is a problem on college campuses,
but it's been disproved that it's one in five girls who get sexually assaulted.
Because, again, they keep expanding the definition of what sexual assault is.
If you brush up against a girl's tit at the student union while you're buying a Snickers bar,
you can do five years
in a Turkish prison, apparently.
I mean, that's considered assault.
It's ridiculous.
The feminists play these frigging games.
So, yeah, so now you,
I don't understand how this works.
You're going to record it?
I said this on Red Eye
when we were talking about it.
I go, this is the perfect excuse
to have a girl
film the encounter if you want to you know guys like to film girl you know having sex with a woman
now this is the perfect excuse right it's just like cops wearing body uh you know body cameras
now we'll see what happens do you see what's happening big brother is jerking off well you're fucking some chick he's watching he's sitting in a chair in dorm room 205 spanking it but that's what you're
gonna do you're gonna film every sexual encounter now you know what i mean and then you'll see why
guys get so nuts when a girl says yes yes yes yes yes and then the last minute your balls are about
to explode like mount saint helen
she goes nah better not i'm not tight i'm not that type of girl yeah you are my brother brian
told me you were so uh yeah this is a perfect example perfect reason to say we have to film
the encounter and then that'll get leaked and it's we've turned the
world into a fuck i mean not we but uh again governor cuomo and his ilk can imagine actually
wanting to i mean this is more social uh this is experimentation you know social engineering
it's about protecting women from the big bad men.
Oh, it's fucking sickening.
So now you're going to bring a lawyer.
You want to pork some chick.
You show up with Ellen Dershowitz and she shows up with whoever.
Barry Sheck.
And it's hilarious.
That's pretty romantic, huh?
You thought having to rip a condom open at the worst time,
that was the worst time you were about to fuck a chick, you had to rip a condom open at the worst time, that was the worst time you were about to fuck a chick,
you had to rip a condom open.
Now you have to open your briefcase and exchange documents
and have a notary stamp it.
Stamp the head of my cock when I'm done.
Isn't it unbelievable just taking the fun out of life?
That's what overreach of government does
it just sucks whether it's fucking health care or this shit you just can't keep your nose out
of other people's business you elite assholes because you know best you filthy fucks
oh god how do you how do they how are they going to enforce this i just it's
if the bill becomes law private colleges in the state would amend their codes of conduct to comply with Cuomo's definition of consent.
With Cuomo's, Cuomo's definition of consent.
And other aspects of his yes means yes sexual assault prevention policy.
And here's, and it gets even a little more complicated.
The law would require that private schools
grant alleged victims of sexual assault on campus
amnesty for related offenses,
such as underage drinking,
to encourage them to come forward.
In other words, now, you know,
a lot of girls supposedly don't come forward
to report sexual assault because they were underage and they were drinking on campus.
So, you know, they would get in trouble, but they're going to get amnesty for that.
I think they meant immunity, but it says amnesty.
Oh, campus amnesty.
Okay, that makes sense.
Un-frigging-believable.
Real, oh God, I'd hate to be your age man when i was up at you main christ back in the 1850s uh
no back in the uh back in the early 80s you couldn't it was unbelievable and again i know
it's gotten worse there are uh there are uh you know
it's it's changed obviously but i'm just saying you couldn't get through my dorm room
on a tuesday night you couldn't get through the hallway there was kegs in the uh literally in the
men's bathroom there was kegs in the on like a tuesday night so some shit was going down but
you know but uh you know and alcohol has always been part of that formula since uh man could walk
upright and then now now it's a problem once you lead his assholes and and and uh the lawyers get
involved and i mean that's just unbelievable are you saying yes can i put my thumb in your asshole
are you saying yes mary yes todd fuck me fuck me hard okay I just
want to get just want to record this I'm gonna put this a voice memo on my phone in case any
shit goes down there were a few incidents when I was up at Maine I'm not saying but a lot of
involved uh I remember there was a couple broads that like emotionally you know they came
from small towns way up in maine and who knows what went on up there with their uncle and um
you know went on the cob and a bottle of whiskey but they had emotional problems and every once
in a while they take on a whole male dorm with their consent imagine that going on today? Holy Christ. Guys would be let out in leg irons.
But, I mean, they're just
taking all the, just all the,
I don't know what you call it,
spontaneity? Could you sign
this, please, before
I lick your taint?
Just horrible. Horrible world.
I don't know what
to tell you, kids. I don't know what to tell
you.
But Cuomo and, you know know elitist jerk offs like that
and the late great Ted Kennedy
you know
insisting on busing
and integrating neighborhoods
and who the fuck do they think they are
honest to God
see then they
but they're all lawyers too
so that's where they can execute
their stupid ideas
time for a revolution.
Who was it?
Was it Shakespeare that said, kill all the lawyers?
Was it Shakespeare?
Or was it Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Killers?
I don't know.
So good luck having fun trying to get laid on campus.
That ought to be great if you go to a private school here in New York.
What do you do?
You wonder why.
Now you wonder why guys are starting to drop, you know, dropping pills in girls' drinks.
They can't afford a lawyer to get laid.
I'm not justifying that either.
That's horrible.
I told you on one of my episodes that happened to my girlfriend when I first moved to New York City.
My old girlfriend, Nancy,
went out to a club and she wasn't there 20 minutes.
Goes to finish her drink.
Next thing you know,
she couldn't even walk.
Started throwing up,
stumbled into a cab.
Gotta be a real scumbag,
but I don't know.
I don't think that's the way to go.
Film it. come back but I don't know I don't think that's the way to go film it you got to film it fellas that is the solution it's the same as the police brutality remind me to jot that down there's a
bit in there somewhere body cameras you know Christ you could put one right in the vagina, they make them, you know, I mean,
you go for a colonoscopy, that's a camera going up your ass, I think CBS puts these cameras up,
you know, you could just clip one on to the inside of your vagina, and a guy could clip one
on to his balls, and the audio has to be good though that might not work um but yeah body
cameras i think is the solution and there are girls i think who like to be filmed when they
having sex usually when it's a relationship guys you know guys are sick bastards so you read about
this in the paper all the time a guy will hang a camera in a or he'll punch a hole in the ceiling of a woman's room at work and put a little camera in there oh you hear superintendents
of buildings do that they'll hide a camera somewhere in a girl's apartment and uh you know
just to get a nut off um why the fuck would you do that would you click on you know uh whatever
you porn or red tube or whatever the fuck.
Yeah, like there's a real shortage of that shit going on.
No, I'd rather risk my future, my career, my life.
I want to do my own film work.
I always wanted to be a director.
I don't want somebody else shooting these scenes.
But I know girls are more apt to do that when they're in a relationship.
Right now, feminists are going, that's bullshit.
We're just as much pigs as you guys.
We'll fucking film you for one night.
We don't care.
Good.
I'm not happy I'm 53, but I'm glad I'm not 23.
I'm going to be honest with all this shit.
Jesus H.
Okay, Cuomo.
Why does he get a pass too, this guy?
This old man, you know, is quite a guy.
But why does he just...
He ran against this guy, Rob Astorino,
who's like the county executive of where I live.
And this Cuomo just gets... It's like an county executive where i live and uh just como just gets it's like an
election in uh you know in iraq when saddam ran it not much opposition did they have elections
back then not really yeah think of a better example anyways uh russia i should have said
really putin won again he got 99.9% of the vote.
No kidding.
Let's stay on the sex topic, shall we?
Billy Crystal.
Another lib.
I love these libs.
They get older.
They get a little more conservative in their views.
And now they want to turn the tables.
After they turned the world into a nightmare
with their political views when they were in their 20s.
Despite having filmed gay sex scenes himself,
Billy Crystal believes homosexuality on TV is too much for him, quote-unquote.
He played one of the first openly gay characters.
There was a show in the seventies.
I know a lot of my fans probably, uh, weren't even born then. I'm hoping that means I still
have young fans, but, uh, he was on a show called soap and he played, uh, I think the character was
Jody Dallas. And he was like the first like openly character on TV in the United States.
Late 70s, 77 to 81.
And it was a funny, really funny show.
Not just because of the gay thing, but that's the first example I remember.
You know, I was like 15 at the time.
Let's play a clip.
It was a little lighter in nature when they addressed the subject of homosexuality.
You know, it wasn't as deep.
I'll play a little. The Sopranos
also addressed it. Greatest TV
show in the history of TV, in my
opinion. They addressed it
in their own way. But let's
first listen to a little clip of Billy Crystal
playing a gay fella on Soap.
Well, Jody,
you're going to get married, huh?
Yeah, it looks that way.
Isn't that nice?
Yeah.
I guess that means you're not gay.
No, Aunt Jessica, it doesn't.
You know, Jody, when we were younger, there was no such thing as homosexuals.
Yes, they were, Aunt Jessica.
The homosexuals go way back in history.
Who?
Alexander the Great was gay.
Plato was gay.
Plato?
Plato?
Mickey Mouse's dog was gay?
That rocked a house that line huh she was a dummy on the show aunt jessica was that her name maybe i got it wrong but uh she's still around that and she still looks the same
you must have soaked her face in formaldehyde every night she She, uh, but yeah, that's, that was the, uh, that was the first openly gay character on TV.
And Billy says now, you know, it's getting too much for him.
Yeah, but you helped create this environment.
Don't be backpedaling now.
And of course he took all kinds of shit on social media.
What, just what is too much gay, Bill?
You homophobe asshole.
Fucking
take it down a notch, gay people.
Alright?
Yeah,
he got lambasted.
And then, of course,
most of you
who are fans of mine have obviously been fans
of Sopranos. Vito, they had a character, Vito you who are fans of mine have obviously been fans of The Sopranos.
Vito, they had a character, Vito, who was gay.
Which, you know, happened in the mob.
And you would, back in the day, if they found out you were gay, you would get whacked.
Okay?
There's some real forward thinking.
But some of the funniest episodes on The Sopranos near the end is this guy playing Vito.
And he goes, you know, he's hiding out in some small town up in New Hampshire or somewhere.
And he like falls in love with the guy that works at the diner.
He's a local firefighter and he's a short order cook at a diner.
And he makes great Johnny cakes.
Pancakes made out of white cornmeal.
And anyways, they fall in love.
And it did.
I'm going to be perfectly honest.
I'm like, really, HBO?
You can't give it a fucking rest.
You know?
I've got to be honest.
But what was good about it, it did show, you know, it's twofold.
It did show how ignorant some guys approach it and how they're living back in the day, these guys. And it made for some funny-ass stuff.
I don't know if it was, you know, meant that way.
But, of course, you know, it just showed these macho, obviously these overly macho organized crime figures and how they detested that.
But there were a few in real life.
And yeah, you could get whacked for it.
That's what the, I suggest you watch a couple of these episodes.
Let's play a clip.
This is Vito.
Vito is a heavyset guy,
and he ended up being the gay guy character on The Sopranos,
but nobody knows about it.
And a couple of the low-level associates of the Soprano family
go to a bar in the West Village here in New York City,
a gay area, to collect.
They go to the bar. They're shaking here in New York City, a gay area, to, you know, collect. They go to the bar.
They're shaking down these bars for money.
And they run into Vito, who's dancing.
And he's dressed, you know, in leather, you know, leather chaps with a biker hat on, leather.
And, I mean, and just their reaction.
I hope this is the right clip.
I got a couple here.
Vito?
What the fuck? Sal, hey. What hi to your wife. I'm serious. Sal, please. It's a fucking joke. Right. Sure. Say hi to your wife.
I'm serious.
Sal, please.
Don't say nothing, Sal.
Fuck those jerks.
What do you care what they think?
What?
Leave me the fuck alone.
Sal, the fuck?. Sell the fuck.
You're a fag.
No, it's a joke.
He's in a leather getup.
The whole fucking thing at a gay bar.
He wants them to believe it's a joke.
And then I was going to pull more, but I want to play Dominic Lips.
And then the reaction when it starts to get around and they have a meeting about it.
And and Polly Walnuts just fucking you know just snaps just can't tolerate it at all and and tony was actually a little more open about it you know the smarter one of the bunch
because obviously because sal was a great earner
tony's like we got to think about it some more Paulie says I'll say it again
fuck that what's there to think about Tony's like sit the fuck down are you gonna take care
of his kids exactly and um yeah so it's fun to see how they treated it and the Billy uh
So it's fun to see how they treated it.
And Billy Crystal was, you know, kind of a pioneer.
Playing that character on Soap.
And now he's backpedaling a little bit.
I can't imagine he's getting too many gay roles.
Most of the gay guys on TV are really good looking.
Billy's, you know, it's been around a while.
So. I'll say it again
what the fuck's here
to think about
but come on
even I as a kid
I remember watching
you know
Bewitched
Hollywood Squares
and one of my favorite guys
and I know he talked a little like a woman
but uh
and I always play him
he's one of the clips we always play on this show
the great Paul Lynn
now it's funny
I look back on it
it's like he wasn't out back then
but no
no he wasn't
but he was a lobby
right Paul when a man falls out of your boat no. No, he wasn't. But at least I want to be. Right, Paul?
When a man falls out of your boat and
into the water, you should yell,
man overboard. Now what should you
yell if a woman falls overboard?
Full speed ahead.
Full speed ahead.
I want to hear the reaction again.
One of the friends, Vito's friends, bottom of the bar.
Vito?
What the fuck?
Sal, hey.
Fuck you doing?
Nothing.
I was here.
It's a joke.
You're a fucking fag?
Watch it, buddy.
You fucking watch it, cupcake. Guys, come on. It's a joke. You're a fucking fag. Watch it, buddy. You fucking watch it, cupcake.
Guys, come on. It's okay.
You think so?
Fuck you doing?
He's standing there in a getup in a gay bar dancing with another guy who's dressed even more fucking ridiculous.
It's a joke. It's okay.
Oh, man.
We've come a long way, okay?
But, you know, the whole business is very effeminate.
Let's be honest.
I don't think it's an accident I'm still playing clubs.
Anyway.
Well, let's stay on this kind of, let's stay on the subject kind of in an indirect way.
I, uh, I had a prostate exam on Wednesday, kind of an unannounced one.
I, uh, you know, my sleeping problems have been well documented and, uh, you know,
Sleeping problems have been well documented.
And, you know, a lot of times when I do wake up,
first thing I do is piss at four in the morning before I lay in bed for the next two hours wide awake.
So, you know, somebody said it to me, and I've been through this before.
I'm 53.
Your prostate starts to enlarge when you're in your 30s.
So, you know, I've been through this a long time ago, but I sort of forgot.
I wonder if that was a trigger. And somebody said said to me i don't know who's explaining it but said even if you
don't have to piss just the message if your brain's getting the message you have to piss
that's enough to wake you up and then i started whizzing i don't know eight times an hour
i love how every week i have an update on my physical um i'm actually pretty pretty good shape for 53 despite what i tell you every every week with my memory problems and my sleep problems
and my my hips um so i said yeah maybe you get a point there and uh so i go you know i talked to my
talk to quinn i talked to quinn it. He goes, yeah, I use Flowmax. It works great.
So I'm like, there it is.
There's a solution.
I took shit when I first was diagnosed in my early 30s.
I remember the guy game, but I don't even remember what it was.
After that, you just get tired of it.
I just like, you know what?
You get done pissing.
There's more piss in there.
I put two fingers up under my balls, and I have to milk myself for the next 10 minutes
to get the rest out.
And I'd just been doing that for 20 years.
I'm like, fuck it.
It's enlarged, okay, I'm having a little trouble pissing.
And it just gets,
so I didn't really take any medication for it,
but now they have good stuff.
Flomax.
So I figured, you know, I'll just just call it so i call the doctor's office and
of course i get the nurse they put me on with his nurse and i go yeah i'd like the doctor to
prescribe me some plomac well has he and i knew that was coming that question has he prescribed
it to you before no he hasn't what the fuck does that matter of course it does matter i'm just
i go she's like well it does matter
i'm like what i go it's obviously i have an enlarged prostate she goes why do you think it's
so obvious i go i'm pissing you know eight times a day and at night it wakes me up to you know
and she goes well it's not that obvious it could be an infection prostatitis whatever i know what it is so um i had to go in and i'm already on the defensive okay because i
had a i had a physical 18 months ago where he had to do that all right i like to have that done
once every 10 years usually by a whore for seven dollars.95. Two easy payments.
So I'm waiting.
He comes in and he goes, what can I do for you?
I go, I'll tell you what you can't do for me.
Stick your finger in my eye. And I thought he'd laugh, you know, and he kind of got stern with me.
He goes, hey, you come in for something like this, you got to expect that.
He had a real serious look on his face.
But before I even get to that, there's a
thing on the wall, and I think I brought this up maybe last time I had a physical. There's a piece
of paper on the wall in his office printed out. And again, I wanted to take a picture to remember
what exactly it said, but it was something about that this office visit could be monitored by a
medical documentation expert or something like that.
In other words, they're going to record the audio of the visit
if I okay it and green light it.
And on the piece of paper, there's like red dots in a circle.
And if those are lit up, it means it's being recorded.
If they ask you
it's been there it was there my last couple visits nobody asked me i read it and i and like
an idiot i didn't even think to ask the doctor about it but this young girl who brought me into
the room you know finally addressed it and um like an idiot i go yeah whatever
me mr mr paranoid mr the government's watching every
move i make i just went yeah whatever i was just in such a dog shit mood these are the type of
decisions i make that put me in the position i'm in bent over a table screaming um yeah so the
doctor comes in and uh so i say that and i didn't even bring up, again, I forgot to address it with him
about the recordings, I'm guessing it's to protect him from being sued, in case, you know,
you know how it is with malpractice suits up the gazoo, no pun intended, so, you know, we just,
I go, can you just write me a prescription, I actually said it to the young girl, I go,
she goes, she goes um she you know
height weight and all that takes my blood pressure then goes she goes there's a gown in their club
i go i'm not putting that and she goes why not i go i'm gonna just talk him into giving me a
flow mag and she started laughing she goes okay and uh then he comes in and you know, levels of boom on me. And it's just so friggin' uncomfortable.
It's just like, you know, you're talking.
This is after we've decided that I have no choice.
He's not going to write me one.
He has to check my pros day.
After that's decided, it gets all awkward.
I'm, you know, we're doing, joking about stuff in the news.
And he's, you know, he's putting the gloves on.
And I'm like, hey, I'm undoing my belt.
It's like when you're on a date with some chick that you've been dying to fuck for years.
And now it's, you know, first time you're going to kiss her.
And all that stupid talk.
Oh, I like the hubcaps on your car.
What is this?
A Volkswagen Beetle?
Huh?
And then, you know, just all this fucking tension.
And it's just horrible.
And then the act itself is just, and man, he was pushing hard.
I had a bit, like I said, this is how I know I've had this problem for at least 20 years,
because I have a prostate bit that was on one of my albums, Road Rage.
Let me, actually, I'll play it for you.
I have the clip here.
Remember, this was 20 years ago I wrote this bit, but I think I did this at the laugh stop in Houston.
It's on Rogre.
You're 33. Have you had a prostate exam yet?
I just had my first one a couple weeks ago.
That was so humiliating.
I have a new respect for women now when you go to the gynecologist.
Slow down, Nick.
I had to go into a room, pull my pants on my ankles,
bend over a table.
This guy put on a rubber glove and proceeded
to do shadow puppets on my ass for 20 minutes.
He's like, let me do an eagle for you, son.
Let me do a rabbit.
He's like, could you do an alligator?
They don't have any ears.
That last one kind of pinched.
Sorry, Todd.
This guy was poking at me with his index finger
like a homeless guy trying to get a quarter out of a payphone.
Remember those payphones?
He goes, I'm going to push on your prostate.
You're going to feel like you're going to want to pee.
I said, I had that feeling when I saw you put on the glove.
And when you're all done, you got lubrication over your ass.
He throws you a bunch of napkins like you're a $5 crack whore.
I had a motel in New Jersey. What's going on here?
Why New Jersey, Nick? You're stupid.
Then I see him writing something in his file.
I'm just praying he's not doodling a heart with my initials in it.
He's like, I'll see you in ten months.
I'm like, fuck that. I'll see you in court on Tuesday.
Yeah, that was my prostate bit.
I actually mentioned my age, didn't I?
I had like the 33 right in the bit.
It's about time I do something about it. I have the my age, didn't I? I think the 33 right in the bit. It's about time I do something
about it. I have the prostate of Hyman
Roth.
Your brother,
your father,
last time from Texas, your father's tracks.
I'm a Jew living in a
pension in the twilight
of my life.
I'd give six million to take
a piss without it hoiding.
I still use that on stage.
I got the prostate of Hyman Roth.
Just look at the puzzle look.
There's always, you know, three tables.
I'm familiar with the Godfather movies, thank Christ.
Yeah, comedy's getting really...
I don't know.
Yeah, so I had that done to me.
You really do feel.
He didn't even give me any napkins on this one either.
I pulled up.
I still had the lobe in there.
Christ.
Looked like I spent the night with Cosby when I took my underwear off.
But anyway, pudding pups.
Anyways, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Yeah. Yeah. I've covered aack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. Yeah.
I've covered a lot, haven't I, kids?
Sure I have.
By the way, I did Jay Moore's podcast.
He just texted me about an hour ago saying it's posted.
So Jay Moore Stories, whatever it's called, posted it today.
So listen to that.
The reaction, reaction again from all
those the round of uh podcasts i did out in la is still it really it's amazing the activity it
creates on your twitter account and all that and uh i just hate i'm not good at promoting but um
speaking of that i was on anthony comia's show last week, and that was just fun.
I mean, we just have it, man.
We have the chemistry.
We see the world the same way, and it's just funny.
I go to his house, and one of those McMansions they call.
I love it.
It's tastefully done.
I mean, a guy opens the front.
A girl or a guy. Who was it? Who opened the front door? I think it was Keith. It might tastefully done. I mean, a guy opens the girl or guy, who was it? Who opened
the front door? I think it was Keith. It might have been his
producer. But
the front door, it reminds me of when Scarface
shot his buddy Manny.
That's how big the door is.
There's like 40-foot ceilings
in the living room, and you get downstairs
and the guy is just living what I
I mean, he's living what I'd love to do.
I said to him, I go, man,
your house just screams you hate people because he has a movie theater he has an
actual bar he doesn't have to leave the house it's like an entertainment center all under one roof
you know those places they have uh so uh that was fun jackie martin came in near the end hadn't seen
jack didn't even recognize him hadn't seen him for so long and um yeah jackie sat in for the last few minutes and it really is funny what anthony's got going on
down there and uh i i would love to work with him i think we would put on one scary show i needed
show a dangerous show and um who knows maybe that could happen someday uh real quickly obviously we
have to talk about you know the nfl right don't we uh what a weekend huh kids holy moly really
weird how this and we all know okay the Packers let one get away from them.
Just Seahawks, that type of team, you know?
But the Packers, oh my God, you poor Packers.
What was I going to say to you about what you did this week?
It was really weird.
And you blew it!
You blew it!
What the hell's going on out here?
Exactly, Vince.
Oh, my God.
Russell Wilson was having the worst day of his career
as a professional, playoffs or regular season.
He had, like, four picks, and...
Oh, my God, his numbers were horrendous.
Just really embarrassing himself.
Yet they stayed in it, you know?
And you know what?
Let me tell you something.
Of course, my wife doesn't watch the games.
I sit and talk to myself.
But right in that first quarter there when the Packers got the ball,
I think Seahawks might have turned it over.
Well, they had fourth down and a foot to go for a touchdown,
and they kicked the field goal.
Again, I'm not saying that lost the game, but you could make that argument,
and I knew that was going to come back to bite him in the balls.
I didn't know it was going to come back like that.
But didn't you know, fourth and a foot, why?
I will never understand that call, Mike McCarthy.
I will never, whatever your name is,
I will never understand that call in a million years.
The odds are you're going to get it. If you don't get it, it was literally a half a yard,
foot and a half. If you don't get it, you get the Seahawks pinned, right? You're going to end up
either getting a safety or getting great field position because the guy's going to be punting
out of the back of his end zone. And the way Russell Wilson was playing,
He's going to be punting out of the back of his end zone.
And the way Russell Wilson was playing, I called him Russell Simmons on the,
or I called him Russell Simmons last week.
Russell Wilson, the way he was playing, he was probably throwing a pick six down there.
How do you not go for it?
That was embarrassing to me. And sure enough, he comes back and it bites you in the ass.
They had a couple times.
They could have been up 14 to nothing.
I mean, early.
So, yeah.
So, anyways, they hang around long enough, the Seahawks.
And, boy, on sidekick, the tight end, the guy Bostic, I think his name was,
goes up for it and boots it.
I mean, boots it.
And Jordy Nelson, the guy with the best hands on the team, is right behind him.
It would have went right to Jordy Nelson.
This guy jumps up and blows it.
I mean, he just.
And you blew it.
You really did.
You fucking blew it.
And the other key play.
I'm sitting at home.
Remember, I played a little ball. i was screaming at the tv set again by myself that guy morgan burnett intercepts a pass with
about five minutes left 5 25 left in the game picks off a pass and he had plenty plenty of
room to return it he runs about five yards and falls down on his own and just kills
the clock, which made me laugh and go, what the fuck? Why did he do that? Because so many times
you see, how many times have you seen this? A defensive back will pick a ball off in his own
end zone late in the game. Instead of just taking a knee, the smart move, they try to run it out
and get tackled at their own five.
I've seen that.
Again, fundamentals.
I've seen that a thousand times.
This was just the opposite.
The guy picks it up.
This is the one time you should try to take the ball for a pick six.
He runs five yards.
There's nobody within 10 yards of him, and he lays down.
He could have brought that down there.
They could have kicked the field goal and put it away or whatever.
He falls down. His teammates told and put it away or whatever. He falls down.
His teammates told him to fall down or whatever.
Just the opposite.
I mean, I can count them 100 times in the last 10 years
where DB picks a ball off in the end zone and near the end of the game
and should just lay down, and they don't do it.
They risk fumbling, trying to return the thing,
and this time they do just the
op. It is mind boggling. And the other thing, this is another thing. I know last week I was
complaining how they reach over. There's no good reason to reach out near the goal line with a ball
like that. And I still say that. I don't know when they're going to stop doing that. There's no reason
to. Here's the other thing. And you can blame Deion Sanders on this one. When Deion Sanders used to intercept a pass, what he'd do would put both hands on the
ball and hold the ball out in front of him and try to run, you know, but he could do it because he
had super, super bionic speed. I mean, he was like a man among boys, even in the NFL. He could get
away with it, but you know what I'm talking about? Instead of tucking the ball under one arm and running, which is obviously the fastest way to run as opposed to
holding it in front of you with two hands. But that's what the Packers do. That's what defensive
backs do today. And I think, I don't know if it was that play where he fell down, Morgan Burnett,
but I think he did that too.
He puts two hands on the ball.
Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
Instead of tucking it under your arm, you know, under one arm and sprinting,
if you're going to be timed in the 40, and they say you have a choice,
you can hold the ball in one arm like you're running a football,
or hold the football in front of you with two hands and try to run.
Which one's going to give you the better time as far as 40 time goes?
And you see the players do it all the time because they were influenced by Deion
Sanders like I was.
But they do it all the time. Instead of
tucking the ball and running,
they hold it out in front of them.
It's Deion Sanders, man.
Nobody brings this shit up. I don't know how I don't work for
Fox or CBS.
I'd go nuts because of the theme song, obviously.
Yeah, so Morgan Burnett with a little over five minutes left
makes that pickoff and just lays down for unexplained reasons.
And then just done.
But it's kind of justice, isn't it?
It's weird how it worked out.
Remember, the Lions got sort of got fucked.
You can argue that they picked up the flag, the Lions against the Cowboys.
So the Cowboys went on to the next round, right?
And then they got fucked against the Packers on the Dez Bryant catch, right?
And so the Packers sort of got lucky to be this far.
And then they just, you know, what goes around comes around, I guess.
Karma, whatever you want to believe.
Anyways, and then my Patriots.
My Patriots did what they were supposed to do to a team that's not quite ready yet.
Andrew Lux, about all the Colts have.
You've got to give them credit to get this far.
And that guy's going to have many rings.
But I still got to pinch myself.
I know I talk about it every week.
Like I said, man, I started watching the Patriots when I was six.
That's 1968, and they were just a laughingstock.
I got to pinch myself.
I'm watching the game, and they're putting up graphics
like Tom Brady's breaking Montana's record.
Bill Belichick just went ahead of Tom Landry.
The Patriots appear in the sixth Super Bowl just like the Steelers and the Cowboys. I got to appear in the sixth Super Bowl, just like the Steelers and the Cowboys.
I got to pinch myself,
because as a kid, I hated the Steelers and Cowboys,
because they were so good,
and they were considered what was a dynasty back then.
And like I said, because of free agency,
what the Pats and Belichick have accomplished
is even more amazing.
But of course, I got to wake up today,
and the haters out there,
the haters trying to accuse the pats of using
deflated footballs and all horseshit and they brought it up to tom brady and you know he just
laughed um but uh that's the times we live in that's the times we live in um you know the 99
percenters hate the one percenters it's not fair they're that good at making money and they're successful they must be cheating which in that case sometimes it's true but you know anytime anybody excels at
something it's not fair and we all know belichick and the pats they accuse them of cheating and um
and they will find you know five belichick was fined $500,000. But people also, if you read the story again,
Jimmy Johnson and Coach Cower and about four other coaches came out.
I think Parcells was another one.
And saying everybody was doing it at the time.
And go back and read it.
They weren't doing anything anybody else wasn't doing.
It's such a crock of shit.
So they were labeled cheaters.
And here it comes again.
It rears its ugly head.
And, you know, apparently what the accusation is is some of the balls were deflated to make them easier to grab.
And you can read.
I'm not going to go through the whole article because the home team supplies so many balls.
The visiting teams bring, they bring 12 balls.
So I don't know how it wasn't that they weren't using their own balls.
I don't know.
But anyways, it's just the haters.
The Pats are that good.
Brady is that good.
Belichick is that good.
Get the fuck over it.
Okay?
Get over it.
Let them have their day in the sun.
I don't give a shit if they're using a Nerf football.
With his hoodie.
It just enhances the reputation with his hoodie and his bad guy image.
I friggin' love it.
I love it.
People hated the Raiders in the 70s with Madden.
Everybody, they were the, you know, the hated ones.
They had that reputation of pushing the envelope.
But either way, folks, Seahawks, Patriots, and Vegas got it at a pick-em,
basically, which sounds about right.
Let me tell you something.
Russell Wilson, if he plays, you know, nearly as bad as he played for three and three quarters,
you know, Pats have a great chance.
But I don't think that's going to happen.
And it should be a doozy.
Russell Wilson scares me as a Patriots fan with his running ability.
Let's be honest.
He can tuck it and go.
as a Patriots fan with his running ability.
Let's be honest.
He can tuck it and go.
And the Packers were manhandling the Seahawks.
So the Patriots, they have a running game.
They have a passing game.
And Julian Edelman will be healthy.
Toughest guy.
I think he was a quarterback in college.
Anyways.
So it's going to be a doozy.
Pats have a defense now. You've got Revis. This is what we've missed in the last few years.
I just hope they can pressure Russell Wilson, and you've got to worry about his legs. And like I said, I don't think he's going to play two shitty games like that. This is going to be an interesting
one, huh? But again, I'm pinching myself. I waited until 1985
until I was, what, 62, 23
before I first saw the Pats
in the Super Bowl
get destroyed by the Bears.
Now we're going on
Super Bowl number six.
And of course, the Giants fans,
every chance they get,
they have to throw in,
oh, but we beat you twice.
You know, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so what you're saying, you'd rather not be in the Super Bowl at all
than be in it and lose?
It's unbelievable.
How many AFC championships?
I can't help myself, folks.
Anyways, all right, kids.
Last night I watched UFC after the football.
I recorded that Conor McGregor, that crazy Irishman.
And I can't even remember who he's going against.
Seaver, a guy named Seaver, tough looking.
Another guy.
I don't know where he was from.
But anyways, the point is there were six undercards, six or seven undercard bouts.
So I'm watching my DVR, my recording, and all excited because I watched all six undercards.
And I like to listen to Rogan. And I uh all excited because i watched all six undercards and i like to listen uh rogan
and um i'm all excited all sudden i can think freezes i didn't set enough time for the main
event like a minute before the main event when i record a sporting event i always add like an hour
and a half you can do that if you have direct TV or whatever, right? But I forgot to do that for some reason.
I've never done that in my life.
I went to bed furious.
Went to bed furious.
Got my wife in a chokehold.
But what an idiot.
All right.
That's it.
That's it from here, I guess.
You know, but yeah, I went to bed pissed.
And you blew it!
You blew it!
I sure in hell did, fella.
Um,
is that it?
I guess that's everything.
But, um,
go to, uh,
nickdip.com,
get another Senseless Killing.
It's, uh uh it's doing well
I gotta thank you guys
for that
and
this
Friday
like I said
Riverhead, New York
the Suffolk Theater
and Saturday night
the Sports Haven
and New Haven.
Listen to me on Jay Moore today, or whenever.
It's a podcast.
And doing Bobby Kelly's podcast tomorrow night.
That might be a live one.
I'm not sure.
All right, kids?
That's, uh, have I covered everything?
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Yeah, that's it.
Can you tell them all over the place?
All right.
I love you for helping me to construct of my life
not a tavern, but a temple.
I love you because you have done so much to make me happy.
You have done it without a word, without a touch, without a sign.
You have done it by just being yourself.
Perhaps, after all, that is what love means.
And that is why I love you.
Good day, everybody! guitar solo guitar solo Yeah, yeah, yeah