The Nick DiPaolo Show - 072 - Leftist Lunacy!
Episode Date: March 17, 2015Leftist Lunacy!...
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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Yeah, kids.
How's it going?
What's happening?
Let me get up on the mic up in this middle.
What's going on?
A hell of a lot since I last talked to you, I guess.
I don't know.
It seems like the same stories, but they progress.
You know, I don't even remember what we were talking about last time.
Well, I do remember the...
I was talking about the Sopranos and that song.
I couldn't...
I was talking about how, you know, you have a song like Layla.
You've heard that song for years, then Goodfellas comes out, and you never think of it in the same way after you see Goodfellas.
And I had that Shy Lights tune, Oh Girl.
And that's what we were talking about.
I'll get to that in a second because I finally have the clip.
For some reason, I couldn't steal last week.
Anyways, let me plug the gigs real quick because it's how I make a living.
That and I make my own hash.
Not a big market for it up here in Westchester.
Anyways, and we all know why that is, don't we?
No, that wasn't a special effect.
This weekend coming, the 20th and the 21st.
Spring begins.
My tits, it begins.
It begins when God says it begins.
Apparently God's a big fan of skiing, this jackass.
The 20th and 21st, I'll be at the Arlington Draft House, Alexandria, Virginia.
That's this Friday and Saturday night.
One show each night.
One of my favorite gigs, by the way.
Good gig.
Nice theater.
I like it.
Had a good time there, many times.
And then the following weekend after that,
the 26th, 27th, and 28th of March,
I'll be at the House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona.
All the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA,
Northern Arizona, where the pigs are whatever
and then uh acme comedy club april 9 10 and 11 i returned to the scene of the crime
which reminds me another census killing is still selling well it's on the top of the charts there
on itunes let's keep it going mama needs a new fucking whatever hat.
Yeah, so thank you for that.
Sales are brisk.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
Because let's be honest.
This supposedly started playing it on Sirius Radio.
It went into rotation this weekend.
But what am I going to do?
Sit in my car and make sure?
I was trying to listen.
Went up to visit the parents in Boston. Hadn't seen them in a while.
And, you know, so I headed on the way home going,
hey, what's going on?
I don't hear anything.
Did hear something from my older album,
and I appreciate that.
It's another 13 cents.
In Treehouse Comedy Club at Marissa's
in Trumbull, Connecticut, April 18th.
That's good enough for now, right?
We'll get to April when April comes around.
That's how I do things.
I don't know how to market myself.
You know that.
So, yeah, I was talking about that clip last week about one of my favorite episodes on The Sopranos.
And Tony Soprano is never scarier as when he works with a guy named Zelman, a city councilman.
And the city councilman says, look, Tony, you know, the girl, the Russian girl, you should see.
Well, I'm seeing her now.
Tony had broken up with her many times.
Hot piece of Russian ass.
And, you know, Tony gave his blessings.
No big deal.
And then he has a few bad days, and has a few cocktails in him, and
throughout the whole episode, old girl from the Shy Lights is playing, and so that comes on the
radio in Tony's truck, he gets a little misty-eyed, and decides to visit his buddy Zelman, anyways,
let's play the clip, it's one of my favorites even even just listening to
the audio of the sopranos it's just i just fucking i love it more than anything i really do
uh-oh imagine having a jersey boss the head of the fucking crime family in jersey
in your bedroom you're in your underwear.
Is anyone in?
You got anything to drink?
That's Irina, his Russian girlfriend.
Former girlfriend.
Now he busts into the bedroom.
His almonds in his underwear.
Tony.
What's going on?
Awkward.
What's up?
Listen to Tony breathing.
Oh, that's the belt.
I know that from my death.
Why don't you just calm down
and perfectly calm?
Oh, we can talk about
whatever's bothering you.
Yeah.
Tony, this is crazy.
Oh!
Tony! Tony! Tony!
Tony!
Come on!
Come on!
Tony!
Tony!
Oh!
Ow!
Fucking Red Welch.
Well, the girls are no judge of you.
I had to fuck this one.
Quiet. Quiet like a bitch.
And what's great about the end of that scene, she's actually turned on by Tony as he's leaving, gets right in her face and just stares at her.
And she's staring back
unbelievable acting of course on her part
you can tell she's like sexually aroused
that she just you know
she fucking loves Tony she's a Russian she likes that Putin type behavior
but the sexual arousal
I mean they didn't miss a trick.
And then as an afterthought, she looks at her Zelman on the floor
with all these red welts and marks on him, and she just...
He was like an afterthought.
She goes, Ronnie, oh, Ronnie.
Two minutes after, she's staring at Tony lovingly.
And then later in subsequent episodes, apparently she breaks up with zelman
because he couldn't perform sexually after being emasculated like that and uh that's understandable
anyways why i find that so uh so funny well again it came on the conversation
of me talking about songs that just get totally changed in your head.
Yeah, I can never hear that song now on the radio without thinking of Zelman and his underpants taking a beating.
Anyways, kids, what the hell is going on?
Well, we know what's going on.
Hillarygate.
She has to be asking herself with this whole email thing. i don't even remember if we got into it we
probably did or maybe it happened after the last show i don't even i have no sense of time anymore
it's what happens when you're addicted to advil pm um this whole thing is just tremendous isn't
it the entitlement she has to be saying to herself she's what is she how old is she 67
she has to be going what the fuck do i really want this at this point because you saw during that press conference
huh did you see her she just was nothing new about her nothing young nothing exciting just
a sense of entitlement and that fake smile fucking she has to be gone i still predict i said this on the last episode that she won't run
i predict that she won't there's too much baggage there and she's being treated talked about this
with quinn on the phone and i said something's up because the left is going after her she's being
treated like she is republican and then sure sure enough, in the papers, the Sunday papers today, big story about, well, again, this is all alleged, but it seems, you know, these guys that write in these newspapers have sources.
They're not just going to put the shit in because you can check it. um they uh the story is at the obama administration uh specifically valerie
jarrett is fucking the one who leaked the story about the private emails about hillary's emails
and that started all this shit because you know if you follow this stuff there's no love laws between the Clintons and Obama.
And you could see that.
I mean, Bill came out and said,
there's no man I hate more.
Remember when Hillary in 2008 was getting her ass handed to her
or whenever it was, 2012?
2008, what am I saying?
Remember Bill said,
he's been quoted as saying.
Anyways, the story now is, yeah, this guy, Ed Klein in the Post has a story.
And he's talking to his sources.
And members of Bill Clinton's camp say the former president suspects the White House is the source of the leak and is furious.
president suspects the white house is the source of the leak and is furious my contact my contacts and friends and newspapers tell me that they've been contacted by the white house and offered
all kinds of negative stories about us one of bill's friends quotes him as saying the obamas
are behind the email story and they're spreading rumors this is bill talking man this is quotes
from bill clinton the obamas are behind the email story and there's i'm not going to do the whole voice for the whole thing i'm not daryl hammond
i could do it but uh come on the obama's are behind the email story and they're spreading
rumors that i've been with women that hillary yeah that's a room yeah uh that hillary promoted
people at the state department who'd done favors for our foundation that John Kerry
had to clean up diplomatic messes Hillary left behind. That's called getting in front of the
stories, folks, because those are all true. Bill's just trying to help the chubby wife out.
Then according to the source, Bill added, the Obamas are out to get us in a way they can.
The sabotage is part of an ongoing feud between the Democrat
powerhouses. Last
fall, during the run-up to the 2014
midterm elections,
Jarrett was heard to complain bitterly that the
Clintons were turning congressmen, senators,
governors, and grassroots party members against
Obama by portraying him as an unpopular
president who was an albatross around
the neck of the party.
Ah, this is interesting interesting isn't it i believe and like i said the media is going after them pretty good i think was it wasn't
the new york times that sort of broke the thing um and that seems suspect to me but my my opinion
on that is they those the mainstream media the most of the lefties, they don't want Hillary in there anyways.
She's not left enough for them.
She's old news.
They want Elizabeth Warren or Martin O'Malley, governor of Maryland, who makes Obama look conservative, for Christ's sake, in my opinion.
But that's what they want.
The real lefties, they don't want Hillary in there.
She's too hawkish.
You know what I mean?
Let's listen to some of her beautiful press conference.
I was laughing till I shit blood.
I just hate this woman's guts.
I want it all out there.
Now I'm happy to take a few questions.
If you were a man today, would all this fuss being made be made?
Well said, guy from Turkey who fucking Englishes his 48th language.
Already starting.
Did somebody tell him to ask that?
Why would a guy from the Middle East be asking a question that defends fucking, you know feminism in this country yeah no no yeah if
she had a dick yeah this would all just nobody would even be asking her about it can you imagine
we're already starting with this shit this is why we can't let her be the fucking nominee or the
president i mean after sitting through this fucking eight years of horse shit with this marxist
in office i i can't you know where every every white guy who disagrees
where every white person is racist now we're gonna have i'm gonna have to listen to this
fucking shit every time she's asked a question well you wouldn't ask me that if i had a cock
well you do get a cock you get a big fat cock hillary to go with your big fat ankles oh my god
it's fucking how long before the next election?
Oh my God.
And it's already starting at a freaking press conference
where she's clearly guilty of some shit.
And I know what you're saying out there,
all you nightly show fans go,
she didn't do anything illegal.
It's not about that.
She's not in court yet.
It's about fucking ethics.
There is a space there
yeah everybody did it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody wasn't secretary of state she obviously
deleted all the shit that she wanted you don't get to do that you don't get to fucking pick and choose
unbelievable unbelievable Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
But, yeah, they say this is Valerie.
Obama and Valerie Jarrett will go to any lengths to prevent Hillary from becoming president.
A source close to the White House told me they believe that Hillary, like her husband, is left of Senate, not a true blue liberal.
She's going to destroy Obama's legacy if she gets in there. Jesusesus christ they talk about her like she's actually concerned it's unbelievable the whole thing is off its axis in my opinion
holy christ let's listen to more of the beautiful uh press conference how you decided which of the
personal emails to get rid of if you think that you decided there were
ones that you know incriminated me I decided that those are the ones that I
toss you know the ones that mentioned recipes for diet cookies nobody's gonna
believe that horse shit by the way she mentioned didn't she mention some of her
person emails she said like planning Chelsea's wedding and yoga. She mentioned downward facing pig.
Made a mistake
either and exclusively
using your private email.
How can the public be assured
that when you deleted emails
that were personal in nature
that you didn't also delete emails
that were professional
but possibly unflattering?
We have no way of you have no way of knowing that.
That's why I did it.
But you see, I'm entitled.
I'm the queen.
I'm next.
I have a vagina.
We had a black fella.
I stepped aside for him.
But I have a pussy.
So I'm next.
And there'll be a gay fella after me or a lesbian next.
And then after that, somebody in a wheelchair with one eye and three tits
he or she will be next because we can't have a straight white heterosexual male
even though that's we all know the country runs best when that's who heads the ship
oh my god did he really say that yeah Yeah, he fucking did. Yeah.
Oh, help me.
You know what?
I would vote for a woman president.
It would be Judge Judy.
I'd marry that broad,
even at her age.
I love that broad.
Okay?
That's somebody who tells it like it is.
That's what we need,
some Judge Judy justice.
So, you're at home, and you don't have a job yet you have
two cars and fucking stand up straight fix your tie look over here i love it though she lays it
right on the line right oh you're sucking off the country's tit is basically what she says to every
deadbeat that comes into her court which the country's filled with by the way that's the
whole goal for half the country we are to be paying for the other fucking halves.
You know, entitlements.
That's where we're headed.
We're almost there.
We're rotting from the inside out.
It's beautiful.
It's a beautiful plan being executed beautifully.
Anyways, more of Kankles.
Do you or any of your aides delete any government related emails?
This was a server that you owned.
Is that appropriate?
White House. Yes, it's appropriate.
I live in Chappaqua. I do whatever I want.
I will take a shit on my front lawn.
It's private property and
she says nobody's going to get that server.
I wonder how this is going to go down.
Nobody's going to get that server. She wouldn't
use two devices. This is a woman that, as we hear about how genius and how smart she
is, but two devices. I'm a mental midget when it comes to technology. I get six devices.
Fucking iPad, laptop, cell phone, whatever else that Apple has put out in the last 19 years.
Ukulele, DVD player.
But she couldn't handle two devices.
What a shitty excuse. That's the best that they could come up with.
Oh, God, help us.
By surprise, and then just one last political question if i yeah why'd you wait two months to turn those emails over well i was busy with yoga, and yoga,
and what have you been doing?
Remember, nobody saw her.
She was out of the limelight for a few,
that's what she was doing.
She was sitting down in her basement
with 19 liberal strategists,
Dem strategists,
and fucking trying to delete the shit.
I would love to see what's on there. Maybe she had an affair. Something tells me. Her and some thick-necked
diesel dyke from, like, Tennessee. There's something there. You know. You know. Gotta
be something there. Maybe Oprah was licking her ass. Again, I'm just throwing that theory
out there. I'm not saying it actually happened. Again, I'm just throwing that theory out there.
I'm not saying it actually happened, but there's got to be some juicy shit on there, huh? But I
really think this is too much, don't you? This has to suck the life out of her. She could handle
this in her 50s maybe, but she's got to be going, oh my God, I can give speeches the rest of my life
and have all kinds of nice shit that's she just wants to be
waited on hand and foot right i mean who needs this imagine wanting it that bad i i still say
bill's gonna step and go time out honey fuck that you're gonna expose me too they uh they fucking i would love to be a fly on the wall to listen how like the obamas talk
about the clintons when they're alone and the clintons talk about the obama that come on
snowden give that shit up man would i love to hear that supposedly political allies
right here supposedly political allies. Right here. Under the rule, say you have to...
Secretary, please delete the personal emails.
Why did you wait?
Period.
What about the Bastard's?
What about the Bastard's?
The Bastard's operation who was forced to resign two years ago.
Why did you make it all for you?
Now, could they miss you, maybe?
What the hell was that?
Hillary was smart, man, you know? They asked her all these questions why you think you
have the right to do that she should have given the answer that gets everybody out of trouble
i'm black y'all and i'm black y'all and i'm blacker than black that's all she had to say
and i'm black y'all and i'm black y'all and i'm blacker than black and i'm black y'all
i'm black blacker than black black i'm blacker than black yo I'm black, yo. I'm blacker than black, blacker than black, black. I'm blacker than black, yo.
That's all she had to say.
It would have went away.
I'm black and I'm black.
Yo, I'm black and I'm black, yo.
And I'm blacker than black and I'm black, yo.
And I'm black, yo.
Oh, she has to be going, what?
Well, she hasn't declared yet.
I mean, like I said, I don't think she's going to.
Martin O'Malley's smelling blood, isn't he's like yeah man heading to iowa new hampshire all
those other places who else jim webb saw him but i didn't see any of this on the sunday uh they
didn't mention any of this this backbiting by the obama by valerie jallor jarrett and the obama
administration i mean they didn't mention it on the Sunday shows. I wonder where that is.
Huh?
Couldn't be that Stephanopoulos worked for the Clintons.
Probably has their back.
He?
Why wouldn't he bring it up?
Right?
Maybe he did.
Maybe I was making an omelet or something, you know?
Didn't pay attention to the whole show.
I got to be honest today when I got up this morning.
But, yeah, I'm surprised it didn't come up.
And all I, I think I watched all of Meet the Press.
I don't believe it came up on there either.
But don't tell me that's not out there in D.C.
It's got to be on the streets.
In D.C.
That theory.
It's going to be on the streets.
Anyways.
Sticking with.
With politics.
Went on the nightly show.
Last week.
I don't remember what night it was.
Doesn't really matter.
With Larry Wilmore.
And very nice guy.
Loved the staff.
They were very nice to me. But I know
what I was walking into.
Because people on Twitter go, no, you got
set up. I didn't get set up. I've been around
long enough. You think I was going to go on there and get a fair
shake? They tell you who the
guests are. But they even slant that, too,
when they tell you who's going to be on with you.
This guy, John Avalon.
Oh, yeah, he used to write Giuliani speeches.
The guy was more left than Eric Holder.
And Liz Winstead, who I've known.
She helped create the daily show she's a stand-up comic that i've
known forever i don't she does stand up anymore but she's as left loony as you can get don't hold
it against she's so she's so loony left that i it doesn't even she's harmless she's almost
fucking nuts but uh you know i've known her for while. She's always been nice to me and vice versa.
I don't hold shit against them, but oh, my God.
I'm sitting in the green room, like, you know, eating candy and shit before the show.
She's getting her hair and makeup done next, you know, in the next room.
And she's on her phone yelling about some somebody trying to prevent
abortions and she's talking to one of her underlings so i don't know i don't know what
group she works for but screaming about a boy you would have thought it was 1966 for christ's sake
i even said it to her i go really liz in fucking 2015 how many how many babies have been killed since the 50 million since roe v wade passed
yeah it's a real problem finding fucking fetuses and toilets at proms and mailboxes
uh uh yeah like anybody's getting turned down for an abortion like that wouldn't be fucking
the lead story every night i was laughing she was even laughing i go
you're fucking crazy but uh she's a nice person and she thinks i'm cuckoo i'm sure but the whole
gist of the show and uh by the way if you don't know who it is the nightly show it's the show that
replaced in the colbert slot i guess whatever i don't know i don't watch comedy center
but uh yeah larry's a good nice guy
or whatever but i mean you know just another brainwashed lefty who the the topic was um
this governor of florida rick scott told some of his uh people under him not to use the word
climate change so larry used that as a segment as a we, you know, when you censor words or banning
words, it makes the words more dangerous. He takes, you know, he takes an example with somebody
on the right, like Rick Scott actually tries to ban a phrase, which he denies he even tried to do
about climate change. And that was to kick off the segment about of you know censorship and
political correctness was the larger topic and of course my angle was and it it's obvious and
if you disagree with this you're just being intellectually dishonest 99.8 percent of
political correctness comes from the left today it didn't back in the 50s and 60s when the religious right
had some sway and uh whatever but but uh are you shitting me today every time somebody yells
racism uh sexism homophobia xenophobia ageism you're gonna tell me those are republicans people
on the right yelling that shit and passing speech codes on campuses.
That's what my point was, that all that shit emanates from college campuses, which you're not going to find conservatives that run any college.
There's no there's like point oh one percent of the professors considered, you know, right leaning on college campuses.
It's no exaggeration either. They're there. You know, college campuses are just places where you can get indoctrinated into liberal horseshit.
And how anybody can disagree with that.
But that was my point.
And Larry kept saying, you're not listening.
We're talking about, you know, off-college campuses in the real world.
And my point was, yeah, but it emanates from colleges.
It has been for 40 years. That liberal orthodoxy comes from college campuses
and those people graduate and they bring it into the real fucking world but i didn't make that
clear enough i don't think but it was still fun i don't take this shit personally until you get
on twitter and these fucking assholes i don't know how people do it like hannity o'reilly or anybody
or even colin when he was hosting Tough Cry.
Fucking idiots.
They're just fucking blinded by their party.
How the fuck can you argue that?
Political correctness, the majority of it today comes from the left side.
And then I had a few people on Twitter agreeing with me that said they were liberal and said Nick is right on this.
So, you know, like two.
But other people going, oh, he's a fucking whiner. And then there were other comments going, you guys could
have had a good discussion if he wasn't there. That shows the fucking open mindedness of
people on the left. In other words, if you had five people that all agreed and thought
like we do, we've been a better discussion. Oh, people actually said that. It's fucking
hilarious.
But that's all my point was and how you can argue
about this beyond me
in the next few stories
I read on this episode
will prove that.
How the...
That's what I said to Larry.
I go, you're making it sound like
that both the left and the right
on college campuses
are equally, you know,
guilty in creating
this stifling environment.
You know? But to use, you know, guilty in creating this stifling environment, you know.
But to use, you know, Rick Scott, some obscure governor from Florida,
you know, for every Rick Scott, I could bring up, you know,
10,000 college professors or how about every time a conservative goes on a college campus and tries to ask Ann Coulter or Michelle Malkin,
they get hit in the face with a pie or something's thrown at them or they bum rush the stage.
I forget.
They had a military guy at Columbia.
Remember about a year ago?
Something like that.
Like a vet.
Some like fucking literally a military army guy that did tours in Afghanistan.
They like bum rush the stage.
You know, and but these fucking nitwits are like,
Hey, what are you talking about, DePaulo? You're being willfully ignorant.
Really? Really? Who's ignorant?
Let me try and hang out with people that don't think like you.
Because that's what I do.
And I can prove that.
Because, you know, I'm a righty and I'm in fucking show business.
Not exactly surrounded
by people who think like me for the last 25 years none actually but that doesn't mean i'm gonna hate
them and i get nasty with them because i don't but you can do that on twitter you know people
get it's like beer balls um but i knew i was going to be outnumbered. And then we played some silly game.
If you guys probably saw it anyways.
They had like a winter hat with something written on the front of it.
And you put the hat on without, you know, you don't look at what's written on the front of it.
And then you try to guess what's on your forehead, what's written on your hat.
And, of course, mine was white devil.
Isn't that hilarious? White Devil. Isn't that hilarious?
White Devil.
Isn't that a good one?
Can you imagine doing that?
Like, I don't know, Gutfeld and Red Eye have a black person on there.
And, you know, shoplifter.
That's what it says on your hat.
I actually went WAP.
Does it say WAP?
Larry goes, oh, it's not mean.
No, White devil's fine.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Yeah, it said white devil.
I was proud to wear it because what's funny is I love how I'm called white because every time I defend the white point of view,
like Patrice, my late great buddy or or Keith Robinson, anybody black, I know.
DePaulo, you're not even fucking, you're not even white.
What are you defending that fucking shit for?
You ain't even white yourself, man.
Well, on my mother's side, they were from Scotland and England.
Oh, yeah, I have one-eighth an ounce of Moors blood in me.
But I love that, you know, when I defend the white,
but you're not even black, you shouldn't be defending that, Nick,
because you're not even white.
And then on Columbus Day, I'm the evil white European male,
according to all my black friends, all six of them.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So, but it was fun.
What the fuck?
You got to get it.
I know I was going to be outnumbered.
Someone's like, yeah, they set you up.
No, they didn't.
I know what I'm walking into.
You still have to just let them know that you exist out there.
You know?
So that's why I did it.
And yeah, Larry seems like a good guy.
And Maz, the comedian Maz, I forget his last name, the Iranian guy.
He's an actor too.
Good looking guy.
I liked him the best of everybody I met at the show.
He was like this cool headed guy.
And we chatted in the hallway.
Maz Jabrani?
I forget his last name that's
i should know that but he was very cool and the minute i saw his face i'm like i've seen this guy
and stuff a lot of stuff so um yeah liz and then that guy and then uh yeah and uh
it was fun heaven i have to remind Comedy Central that I'm still around, you know?
It's so funny when these roasts come out like Bieber.
I get asked everywhere, you know?
Everywhere.
I make it sound like I'm Elvis in 1958.
I don't hear people mauling me.
Are you going to do the Bieber roast?
But people ask me, you know, know the comedy clubs and uh on airplanes and the ones that know that
i'm a comic if i'm gonna why don't you do the roast anymore they think it's like it's up to me
well i just get tired of uh getting a nice fat paycheck and uh getting paid more for one night
than i do for three weeks of comedy i get sick of that shit and i just stepped out but i gotta be
honest with you let me let you in a little secret i don't like even when i did really well i don't feel good saying mean shit about my comedian friends even
when i'm kidding i don't know i mean i wouldn't mind busting bieber's balls whatever you know
pam anderson or larry but you want larry the cave but dan whitney i know i don't even like zinging
i feel weird after i don't know because the joke's cut a little deep.
I don't know how to fucking write anything less mean and funny.
The more mean, the funnier that is.
But this Bieber thing, it's like Kevin Hart is hosting.
He's the most famous person on the planet right now.
And Roseanne Barr and who the hell else?
Who's the German guy?
They used to have the talking car.
The alcoholic.
Haas Stettler.
That's the quarterback.
You know who I'm talking about.
It's all big names, the point is.
It's not even about having funny comics on anymore.
It's about TV.
It's about the bottom line.
And the bottom line is the bottom line. They want to get a million comics on anymore. It's about TV. It's about the bottom line, and the bottom line is the bottom line.
They want to get a million eyes on it.
The bigger the names,
and now what they figure is,
oh, we can write shit, you know,
like they did when I did Larry the Cable Guy.
Maureen McCormick, remember her?
She used to play Marsha Brady,
but they wrote stuff for her
and it went over pretty well,
and they write stuff for Gary Busey and they can write stuff for long
comedians and it works well enough.
Again, that's what you have to understand about TV.
The bottom line is the bottom line and they want to get big numbers.
And apparently I am not famous enough, but that's okay.
I figure if I went on there though,
and like a jock strap and a nice brown leather vest and a cowboy hat.
You know what I mean?
Kind of an Andy Dick getup.
That's right.
I don't know what the fuck that meant.
Holy shit, it's hot down here.
But let's stay on the liberal
fucking lunacy, huh?
But I love that fighting,
that infighting going on.
Where's this story
about what's going on
in schools today?
If this isn't a ploy
to bring down this country,
I don't know what is.
Hold on.
Got it right here.
There it is.
Yeah, by Paul Sperry
in a Sunday Post.
I'm going to read a lot of this.
If you don't want to hear that, I don't know what to tell you.
But there's very few things left that can enrage me
as far as politics and liberal fucking lunacy.
But this article just made me so angry.
I was getting dizzy.
I had to fucking lay down after I read it.
Oh, mama, son. I'm'm gonna read a lot of it um new york public school students caught stealing doing drugs or even
attacking someone can avoid suspension under a new progressive discipline rules adopted this month
most likely they meaning the students,
will be sent to a talking circle instead where they can discuss their feelings.
That's no bullshit.
I'm not saying that.
I know you think I'm joking there.
No!
Yeah.
Convinced traditional discipline is racist
because blacks are suspended at higher rates than whites.
New York City Department of Education has in all but the most serious and dangerous offenses
replaced out-of-school suspensions with a touchy-feely alternative punishment called
restorative justice, which isn't really punishment at all. It's therapy.
Every reasonable effort must be made to correct student behavior through restorative practices,
advises the city's new 32-page discipline code.
But here's the problem. Everywhere it's been tried, this softer approach has backfired.
Yes, other large urban school districts are reporting fewer suspensions
since adopting the non-punitive approach, but that doesn't necessarily mean fewer infractions.
In fact, many districts are seeing more classroom disruptions and violence,
a national trend that ought to set off warning bells for New York school.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure they'll take that into consideration.
What's more, the movement, which is driven by new race-based anti-discipline guidelines
issued by the Obama administration,
is creating friction between teachers' unions and the liberal mayors they otherwise support.
Well, there's an upside to everything, I guess.
Unbelievable.
This is unbelievable.
Politicians can praise the new system, but it's teachers who must deal with disruptive and sometimes violent results.
And here's some of the evidence from schools who have already tried this.
Last month, for instance, the Chicago Teachers Union complained the city's revised student discipline code has left teachers struggling to control unruly kids.
It's just been basically a totally lawless few months, one teacher told the Chicago Tribune.
told the Chicago Tribune.
In June,
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced
the district as
part of a suspension
and expulsion reduction plan,
was moving away from zero tolerance
policy and promoting restorative
practices. Students who bully classmates
can no longer be removed from classrooms
except for the worst offenses
and only then with the consent of a district supervisor. schools aren't fucked up enough at this point okay do
you find do you fucking believe this this is what i i i just as mayor de blasio promised last month
in an announcement new york's revised discipline policy a manual assured skeptics the more holistic
approach which he says addresses the root cause of bad behavior, will still provide a safe learning environment.
But so far this school year, the Tribune reports students have suffered little consequence for infractions as serious as groping a teacher and bringing hollow point bullets to class.
You have to have consequences, Chicago fifth grader teacher John Engles told the paper.
If you knew the cops weren't going to enforce the speed limit,
you'd go 100 miles an hour.
No shit.
It's that easy.
It's that fucking, the logic is that easy,
but not for fucking leftist douchebags.
In Syracuse, meanwhile,
teachers complain student behavior has worsened
since the school district collapsed discipline structures
in favor of restorative justice practices.
They say teens are more apt to fight, mouth off to the teachers and roam the halls under the more lenient policy
they're even seeing increasingly violent behavior among elementary school children
really really so that's news if you don't discipline them you don't punish them when
they act fucking badly that they do it even more really no shit wow
uh here you go uh kids control the classroom los angeles unified school what do they all
have in common by the way so far chicago la uh very very very very very very liberal
city los angeles unified school district is seeing a similar spike in campus offenses
after its school superintendent followed federal orders to reduce suspensions of African Americans.
Even threats against teachers are ignored as administrators' hands are tied by the new policy.
I was terrified and bullied by a fourth grade student, a teacher at a Los Angeles Unified.
How can you be terrified by a fourth?
Probably because he's 33 years old. A teacher at LA
Unified School District School recently
noted on the Los Angeles Times website,
the black student told me to back off,
bitch. I told
him to go to the office and he said, no,
bitch, and no one can make me.
Oh my
God. Is this really happening?
That's all the kids have to say?
And you can't blame the kids?
Why would you blame them?
Of course they're gonna take advantage of this shit
They ain't dumb
Oh stop it Can you imagine that? this shit. Ain't dumb.
Oh, stop that.
Can you imagine that? Complaint another L.A. U.S.D. teacher.
We now have a restorative justice council,
but we still have the same problems. Kids aren't even
suspended for fights or drugs.
This is just a deliberate effort
to fucking
destroy everything that this country
stood for. I don't give a fuck if that sounds corny or not.
Kiss my ass.
In neighboring Orange County,
that used to be predominantly white,
I haven't lived there in 15 years,
teachers are dealing with increasingly violent
and disrespectful student behavior
since schools there have also switched
to restorative strategy.
Recently mandated positive, listen to this, positive interventions have only exacerbated discipline problems
in the largely minority Santa Ana public school district,
where middle school kids now regularly smoke pot in the bathrooms, some even in class,
and attack staff, spitting on teachers, pelting them with eggs, even threatening to stab them,
according to the Orange County Register.
eggs, even threatening to stab them, according to the Orange County Register.
According to a recent teachers union survey, 65% of Santa Ana educators said the softer discipline system is not working.
Dozens of teachers have filed hostile work environment complaints.
Defiance towards teachers is on the rise in Philadelphia public schools as well.
We're talking circles.
Talking circles.
What is this?
Fucking 1960?
Fucking Haight-Ashbury? talking circles. Talking circles. What is this, fucking 1960? Fucking Haight-Ashbury?
Talking circles.
They have the kids sitting in circles, the fucking troublemakers, and...
Oh my God.
A former Philly middle school teacher complains minors who act out and then dare dare teachers to kick them out of class knowing full well their hands are now tied.
I'm going to torture you, Alan Zolman says one student told him.
I'm doing this because I can't be removed.
I guess they're making all this up, huh, you liberal cocksuckers?
I guess they're making all this up, people on the right.
This can't be verified.
Try to defend this shit, please.
Please.
The whole article, it gets worse.
Let's see.
The administration,
welcome to this Lord of the Flies scenario.
Thanks to talking circles and peer juries, young people are now taking control of the environment.
He's saying this in a positive way.
Education Secretary Arne Duncan gushed in 2014 speech to black students at Howard University.
He thinks it's a good thing that the inmates are running the asylum.
It's sort of a counterintuitive thing for many of us adults,
but the more we give up power, the more we empower others.
Yes, because a 12-year-old should be empowered, right?
More empowered than the adults that are trying to teach him.
Just think about that for a second.
And empowering teenagers to be
part of the solution having them control the classroom environment control the culture be
the leaders listening to them respecting them when we do that wonderful things happen for kids
in communities that didn't happen historically this is fucking it's like, it's another universe, man.
Here you go.
Just weeks after empowering teenagers, San Diego public schools witnessed a surge in violent assaults.
At Lincoln High School, for example, students reported frequent campus fighting.
In just one recent month, there were several arrests, including one involving a butcher knife, according to local TV reports.
School officials confirm at least 16 batteries in just the first few months of the school year.
Violence is still a problem in Oakland schools after officials there substituted such restorative counseling
for suspensions on similar orders from Obama educrats.
There have been serious threats against teachers, Oakland High School science teacher Nancy Caruso told the Christian Science Monitor,
and yet the students weren't expelled.
She notes, a student who set another student's hair on fire
received a restorative talk in lieu of suspension.
So don't tell me this isn't all orchestrated to just fucking,
I don't know, race war?
I mean, is that the goal of the Obama administration?
I mean, these guys are radicals.
They're raised by fucking radicals.
They're leftist radicals.
They hate how this country was founded.
Giuliani was so right about Obama,
he actually fucking understated how much Obama hates his country.
And hold it, you can times that times ten.
Ugh.
After spending millions on restorative justice and courageous conversations about race training,
Portland public schools have seen their students
only grow more violent.
After a black high school boy
repeatedly punched his teacher in the face,
sending her to the emergency room,
the teacher, who was white,
was advised by the assistant principal
not to press charges.
The administrator lectured her about how hard it is for young black men to overcome a criminal record.
Worse, she was told she should examine what role she, as a white woman,
holding unconscious racial biases, played in the attack, according to the Willamette Oregon Week.
A white sixth grade teacher at a mostly black Washington, D.C. school told the U.S. Commissions on Civil Rights.
She had similar conversations in which she was told that the bad behavior of black boys is mainly the teacher's fault.
I have been encouraged to examine and question how my own racial dispositions affect my teaching and my students, Andrea Smith testified. Holy fucking moly.
If I hear ever again a person of color say this country is racist,
I will fucking shit in blood.
Yeah, it's racist.
Reverse racism.
I'm skipping chunks of the article.
It's example after example it's even worse listen to this folks during cultural sensitivity training required of school districts under
restorative justice programs teachers are told they are largely listen to this i'll say that
again during cultural sensitivity training required of school districts under restorative
justice programs
teachers are told they are largely to blame for bad behavior of black students because they
misinterpret african-american culture the training sessions which often run several days are led by
civil rights activist groups seeking racial justice one prominent consultant group is pacific
educational group san francisco surprise surprise PEG has collected millions of dollars from dozens of major school districts across the country holding teaching workshops designed to achieve racial justice in our schools.
Among PEG's workshops, De-Centering Whiteness in School Discipline and White Supremacy, White Privilege and R privilege and racial oppression getting in on our
courageous conversation here's the course description of a 2013 restorative justice
related workshop according to peg brochure institutions are infested with token people
of color and racist white people who uphold white supremacy causing a survivor mentality among
those who encounter daily micro invalidations aggressions and assaults and hostile environments
though a historical overview learn about the oppressive system known as the american education
system a school system that was never designed for children of color at least two top obama
education officials have ever received peg awards awards at national PEG conferences.
So it's official.
Obama, your president, is sanctioning this reverse racism and this hatred towards white people
and actually, you know, making it law.
So, yeah, it's going to go down.
I'll be getting off this planet, i think it's just about the right
time um listen to this white teachers are taught to check their unconscious racial bias when
really do they tell black students to check their guns when they come in the fucking classroom
or the fucking weed or uh white teachers i'll read it again are taught to check their unconscious racial bias when
dealing with black students who act out they're told to open their eyes to white privilege and
white cultural dominance and have more empathy for black kids who may be lashing out in frustration
they are trained to identify root causes of black anger such as america's legacy of racism
teachers are told to respect black culture which is described as more emotional and physical and to give disruptive students a
pass when they curse and threaten them because african-american boys are demonstrative and
that's just how they engage in learning according to the monitor.
So, yeah, you people who, you know, attacking me on Twitter after I was on that show, kiss my fucking ass.
All I need to see to defend this horse shit.
Yeah, and that all comes from the fire fucking left, by the way.
I don't know if this country's going to survive another year and a half of this fucking idiot.
Ugh. Oh. I need a break. We need a break. We got a call on the, you know, where is he?
Uncle Joe.
I can't find it.
We need Uncle Junior to lighten things up.
Yeah, so read that.
Because there's more.
I get dizzy.
I was getting so mad.
I can't believe this shit's actually going on. Ugh.
Can you imagine, though?
Why would you send your kids, especially if they're white, to these public schools?
Why?
Because you can't afford the other shit.
That's why.
But can you imagine?
Would you feel safe sending your kids into this environment? I mean, if the teachers are considered, you know, racist,
accused of being racist just because they're white,
well, what's going to happen to the kids?
I mean, the teachers are supposed to be the authorities.
Good luck with your kids when they start getting bullied.
It's freaking homeschooling, man.
it's freaking homeschooling, man,
and it's not just, it's not just, you know, white kids who can't learn, it's other, you know, black kids and black and brown kids who take their school studies seriously,
I mean, they can't get a decent education because the fucking thugs are allowed to run wild
because of some imaginary psychobabble horseshit that some fucking psychologist
came up with?
Restorative justice.
Holy shit.
Just call it fucking reparations.
Call it what it is.
Fucking chicken shits.
What's else on the agenda here
people are going crazy because i got because i got that
that song stuck in here that indian guy i was getting a lot of that on uh on facebook
uh that's how i'll cleanse our palate with a little of a friend from india
That's how I'll cleanse our palate with a little of a friend from India.
Plant this seed in your head for another week. Yes, I am.
Why do I find that funny? I am so lucky, oh, you are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
You are my love, Chazza.
Yeah, electric flute.
There's nothing like it.
You are love, Lord, electric flute. There's nothing like it. You are love.
Love you love.
You are the powerhouse love.
Man.
Woo!
Somebody told me to go back to CBS theme song.
I had that stuck in your head for a while.
When you hear that, what do you want to do to me?
I'll tell you what you want.
I want to fucking smash his fucking face in.
I'm sure you do.
I don't blame you.
Oh, what the fuck's happening to the world?
I had another song that I poisoned you guys with, remember?
About a month back.
What the hell was it?
Yeah, I know.
Eh.
Oh, here it is. This is the guy who came up with restorative justice
Saul Alinsky wrote this song This goes out to Saul Alinsky wrote this song
This goes out to Saul Alinsky and his followers
And the joke was on me
Oh no
I started to cry
Which started the whole world laughing.
Oh, if I don't need to be, that the joke was on me.
me I
looked at
the skies
running my
hands
over my eyes
and I
fell out of bed
letting my hair
from things that I said
Till I finally died
Which started the whole world
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Woo!
Looks like I got a new toy. Over my eyes
And I fell out of bed
Hurt my head
From things that I said
It goes to Obama
Till I finally died
I started a whole world in me
Oh, if I'd only seen
Oh, yeah
That the joke was on me
Oh, no That the joke was on me I can't take it no more.
That's how I feel when I read the paper.
That's me reading the paper.
My wife crying in the kitchen.
Wow. Wow.
Anyways.
Any goddamn ways, kids.
Well, that's about it from here.
Yeah, I plugged the gigs.
Like I said,
yeah i plugged the gigs like i said uh alexandria virginia this weekend friday and saturday
the arlington draft house and then the following week in 26 27 28 house of comedy phoenix harris
hey so if you're in the either one of those areas come come by and say hello,
would you?
Sports-wise,
real quickly,
I don't do much of that,
you know,
because chronologically,
I don't know when you listen to these,
but the Patriots are doing the same thing.
It's so funny to be a Pats fan.
And like they didn't pick up Will Forks option, who's been a stud for us for years.
And Rivas is back to the Jets.
So I guess he was all about winning, huh?
Soulless, muddless, titless.
Can't blame him, though.
You got to make the money when you can.
He got his ring.
And we get rid of Shane Vereen, who was an integral part of us winning that game against the Seahawks,
one of the best pass catches out of the backfield.
He's a giant now.
And my first reaction was, what are they doing?
What are they?
And then I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
I say this every time.
And then Belichick goes out, makes a couple moves,
gets a couple of so-called washed-up players,
plugs them into his formula, and next thing you know, in the AFC Championship again.
Might not win the Super Bowl this year, but you know damn well,
like, he's looking a year or two ahead.
And who knows?
It doesn't matter if they buy into his system.
I heard they picked up Stephen Hawking on waivers.
He's going to be a wide out.
And, yeah.
And Belichick will throw to him five times a game and make it work somehow.
But, yeah.
So that's about it football news-wise.
Jets making all kinds of moves with Marshall uh the receiver and uh Todd Bowles is
that the head coach now and uh yeah Revis is back and um they're making big moves and they'll still
suck maybe not now that Rex is out of there because I thought he was a not that good a coach
maybe they will give us a challenge.
Somebody please give us
Pats fans a challenge.
Okay?
We're bored.
And the good news
is seeing
exhibition baseball,
isn't it?
It's back,
which means
spring's around the corner,
right?
Please tell me.
Sox,
even with their split squads,
are putting up a lot of runs.
They've got more offense they can handle.
I don't know about their pitching.
We don't really have a true number one.
Maybe we can sew together a bunch of number threes
to equal a number one.
But I think they're going to put up plenty of runs.
And in the New York area, Yankees,
I don't see much there.
Mets have a fine fine pitching staff but they're
already injured a lot of them i guess so they're sweating bullets but the fact that baseball is
right around the corner means i'd say everything's right with the world but after reading that
article what's being allowed in schools i can't say that really gonna go to bed depressed and
cry myself to freaking sleep. There was one funny
story about a meth lab at a fucking Walmart. Was it a Walmart? This isn't the first time this has
happened either. Oh, please. Where's that story? It was in Easton, Indiana, I think.
What did I do with it? Meth lab at Walmart. Oh, Muncie, Indiana.
Surprise.
Finally, some white news, huh?
A restroom at Walmart in eastern Indiana
has been closed indefinitely
after an employee discovered a working meth lab inside.
I remember like a year ago,
or not even, maybe six months ago,
some woman got caught.
Some guy right right in
the aisle he had all the stuff all the ingredients so he actually was cooking it in the one of the
aisles that was a true story i think i might have mentioned that on this podcast uh a walmart
employee alerted police after seeing a suspicious man enter the restroom thursday night with a
backpack and leave without it.
Police say people are leaving the deadly explosive chemicals in public places rather than risk explosions at home.
Yeah, let me put innocent people at risk.
I don't want to fucking blow up my kitchen.
Nice thinking.
That can't be good for Walmart's image.
Not that, you know, not that they cater to the upper echelon of society but you can't you
can't be mixing up a batch you can't have friggin heisenberg trying on polyester pants in the
fitting room and mixing up a nice batch um i actually uh i'm actually working on a bit about
meth let me play it for you play a little clip of the meth bit I've been working on in a
club. This is from a few months back in Chicago.
But
here's my meth bit.
Some of it.
Diagnosis of Lyme disease. Any of you know what that is?
I think I'm going to try meth real soon.
People on meth
seem very perky to me. The people that I know
that do meth, they're very upbeat people.
I mean, Breaking Bad? Was that supposed to deter me from doing meth? Meth seemed very perky to me. The people that I know that do meth, they're very upbeat people.
I mean, Breaking Bad?
Was that supposed to deter me from doing meth?
What the fuck?
Those guys were having a great time.
Guy was diagnosed with cancer.
He's out fucking biking Mexican drug cartels.
Christ's sake, I get the sniffles.
I'm on the couch like a pussy watching Friends for two weeks.
I think meth would be my drug
because I'm a pretty good cook,
you know?
Some of you,
I'll tell you,
I make a wish foundation
every day.
I don't know what he's talking about.
I want to see it.
Get back to the joke, Nick.
I want to do meth.
I just don't want the teeth
of a 30-year-old squirrel.
You see a meth addict's teeth?
Holy shit,
every other tooth is black.
They're going in
eight different directions.
When they smile at you,
it looks like somebody
knocked over a chessboard.
Do you know who invented
meth, folks?
You know who invented it?
The Japanese military in World War II.
They gave it to kamikaze pilots.
Let's think about that for a second.
That's what meth will do to you.
It'll make you so fucking crazy,
you'll blow yourself...
Now, people are taking this shit
to hang out in Vegas on a Friday night.
Replace that Japanese pilot
with a linen skidded fan,
fucking a pair of cargo shorts
and a Who Farted t-shirt.
I watched the documentary on meth,
and the guy said five different times, he kept going,
it's as easy as making chocolate chip cookies.
No, it's not.
My mother used to make chocolate chip cookies.
She didn't have to put on a fucking hazmat suit and a gas mask.
Head out to the garage with her kids.
She fucked up the ingredients. She didn't end up with 30-degree burns on her face and tits.
Comes in with a flap of skin. Who wants Toll House?
Here's the good thing about meth.
You can buy it pre-made on the street,
or you can cook it from scratch at home.
You think meth addicts have the same attitudes
towards meth that Italians do towards tomato sauce?
You're buying your shit pre-made?
What are you, a fucking hillbilly Gabon?
Look at Grammy's recipe right here
from the old country.
Buy my cock off and let's shoot a nice house.
That's how she did it.
Do you know who was a meth addict?
And this is true.
I'm not making it up.
You can Google this shit.
It's not like you can't check my work today.
JFK loved his fucking meth.
The president.
Remember he had a back injury
from a war apparently
I think it was from Marilyn Monroe
sitting on his face at 12 hours
this doctor used to come to the White House
doctor feel good
and give him a B12 shot
wank wank
it was fucking methamphetamines
how about a little bit of
flying the wall in that White House
Jackie I need you to go to the supermarket
I need 40,000 puff drops, some ether, some
drain cleaner, sulfuric acid, lithium. Never mind what's going on. Go get it. He disappears
in the bathroom for five minutes, comes back out. Who wants to play football in the yard?
Who wants to play football on the yard?
Yeah, you just got a sneak peek of a bit that'll be on an album sometime.
I don't know when.
Hey, I forgot about, I'm looking at my notes here.
I skipped a whole chunk of the show.
The whole Ferguson thing with, you know, Eric Holder and his bogus report because he lost on the Mike Brown thing
and things didn't go his way
and him being a petulant little child
had to put out a report
just to let his brothers and sisters know
that he had their back
and there were a couple of emails
that were racist going on
in the Ferguson Police Department.
Really enough to ruin people's lives
who have worked there their whole lives trying to defend shit and defend people that didn't
look like them but let's fuck it you know let's do that so um apparently they were pulling over
he looks at the statistics this is similar to the education poly they look at the final statistics
like in the school thing they go oh more blacks are being suspended than whites or
so that means that's racism instead of going uh asking going to the next level the next question well are they committing are they
behaving worse than the white students and the answer would be yes because they're from broken
homes or whatever reason right but they don't do that they stop at the statistics and just go oh
that must be racism and he does the same thing and and yes there's racist cops in ferguson obviously
you think you could deal
with that type of environment for 20 something years and not have a couple of racist emails
i mean what a childish and um yeah so he you know he we're going to talk about dismantling uh and
this was uh this was last week or whatever and um that's why i like this sheriff clark have you
seen this guy uh i think he's a Milwaukee sheriff.
He's a black sheriff.
And just, well, here's him commenting.
This is before.
This is him commenting, I think, after the, you know, after Holder's report came out.
After those riots in Ferguson, Missouri broke out, the Justice Department final report is out.
And the justice finding that widespread discrimination throughout the police department there. Yes.
David Clark.
County Sheriff, but he's black.
And this is him. The Attorney General kept saying, in Ferguson, in Ferguson, in Ferguson.
But you think subliminally the message is suspect all police officers?
Subliminally?
Neil, two words.
Witch hunt.
The pattern is there.
Some of the inflammatory rhetoric we've heard from the Attorney General of the United States, Eric Holder.
He has had Ferguson, Missouri in his crosshairs ever since the Mike Brown and Officer Darren Wilson tragic situation occurred.
He did not have an open mind. He had a predetermined mindset going into this investigation.
And I think that's what we're seeing here.
I'm not buying one word of his conclusion here.
It's because the attorney general doesn't have any integrity anymore.
This is the only attorney General in the history of
the Department of Justice that's been found in contempt of Congress for not supplying
Congress with the reports that they needed to conduct their investigation. Now he goes
into Ferguson, Missouri and other cities across the United States and he demands information
and reports to see what's going on there. If I were the Chief of Ferguson at the time, I would have said, Mr. Holder, I'll be more than glad to hand over all the information
and reports you need as soon as you supply Congress with the information they need so they
can conduct their investigation. You know, I think it's a sad day. I really do. I think that
Eric Holder has an animosity, a genuine hostility toward local law enforcement, specifically white police officers.
He truly believes, and I believe this, that he thinks that every white police officer is a stone-cold racist,
and it's just simply not true.
That's from a black sheriff, by the way.
Okay.
And, of course, there's racist elements in the ferguson uh police department i'm sure everywhere
but don't you think uh and and that report said that they you know they were hitting uh poor black
people up you know as far as speeding tickets and arresting ever you know to obviously bring
more revenue that happens in in uh poor white towns too but holder wouldn't hold is like this
is just an isolated thing this isn't an
isolated thing no it's not wherever there's poor black people this is going on probably
um meaning violence unnecessary violence against the cops that's what i meant um
of course his tension but he didn't get his way with the Mike Brown thing because the report, you know, cleared Darren Wilson as much as Holder wanted it to go the other way.
So this is his final, you know, F you to Ferguson and to white cops because he's going to be gone like next week.
That lady, Loretta Lynch, has taken his place.
I kind of like, by the way, heard her a few times.
This black woman who's like kind of reminds me of Judge Judy.
She's no bullshit.
We'll see, though.
So that was after the report.
And after the report came out, what happened, folks?
Two cops get shot in Ferguson this past week, right?
So here's Sheriff Clark on that.
Well, this war on our nation's finest, the American police officer continues.
But it continues to be fueled by some very important people. on that. Well, this war on our nation's finest, the American police officer continues, but it
continues to be fueled by some very important people. I think it's empty rhetoric for what
Eric Holder offered today and the president through a tweet of all things when they have
now an obligation to stand up and remind people in these urban ghettos and these American ghettos
that they have a responsibility to comply with law enforcement officers' commands. If we want
to end these deadly encounters between police and citizens,
then we have to tell these young black men to stop attacking the police,
stop fighting the police, stop resisting the police
when they're trying to pull you over and cooperate with their lawful commands.
And if they have complaints about the way they're treated,
some of these may be justified.
There's a process for that.
So, you know, the that uh eric holder released this
report last week and by the way it was a junk report because there was no objectivity he cherry
picked a few emails and he misapplied and used a misapplication of data and statistics you're
talking about the one where he said there was blatant racism uh going on in ferguson do you
think that that fed what ultimately happened
well nobody continues to fuel this is a god copy to this anti-police sentiment
is going on in america that used to be underground we haven't seen these types
of assault on the institutional policing
since the turbulent sixties the rise of the sixties that had a lot of
urban uh... centers in America.
And now it's come to the surface because they're feeling...
Anyways.
And just as I started to do this tonight, well, this happened today.
I'm going to let you know this morning that we have filed charges just a few minutes ago
against Jeffrey Williams. Jeffrey Williams, a 20-year-old man, he is now charged with
two counts of assault in the first degree for the two police officers who were shot
a couple days ago in Ferguson in front of the police station, also charged with firing a weapon from a vehicle,
which is a Class B felony in the state of Missouri, and charged with three counts of
armed criminal action, one for each one of those. Essentially, at this point,
and the investigation, I stress, is ongoing. There's still an awful lot to be done.
But the charge at this point is a result of the
investigation so far. Essentially, what we've charged him with is firing shots. It's possible
at this point that he was firing shots at someone other than the police. They're not on the hills
in Ferguson, are they? That would be a hell of a coincidence, huh? That all this animosity between
the community and the local police
and then the Eric Holder report saying there's definitely a racist police force.
And then two Ferguson cops get shot, but the guy wasn't probably aiming for them.
Just a coincidence, right?
Poor bastards, they're on their heels.
Can you blame them in Ferguson?
What are you going to do?
But struck the police officers.
So the charge is still assault in the first degree.
They're class A felonies for striking those two officers.
There was a weapon.
Anyways.
So, well, that was a wrap up on the Ferguson thing.
Glad they got that kid.
Hold to call the kid a punk.
Like, you know, you could tell he almost said it defensively.
Like, that had nothing to do with my report.
No, they're totally disconnected, Mr. Holder.
Just my opinion and a billion other people's.
But God, God help us.
Anyways, I almost forgot that whole part of the show.
That would have been kind of silly, huh?
That's about it, yo.
All right.
Hopefully, I'll see you guys in da clubs.
I'm doing Creek and Cave, too, in Long Island City, working on new stuff.
That's like a workspace.
It's not even a comedy club.
It holds like 22 people.
And there might be 8 people in the yard.
It's a great place though.
Just to get the words out.
I'm going back old school.
You got to go back to your roots.
As far as comedy goes.
When you're starting a new album.
And what not.
But I'd say I'm at least 35, 40 minutes into a new hour.
Yeah. Got to concentrate. Alright kids. but I'd say I'm at least 35-40 minutes into a noir yeah gotta concentrate
alright kids
that is it
Liberace
tell these people how I feel
I love you
for helping me to construct
of my life
not a tavern
but a temple
I love you of my life. Not a tavern, but a temple.
I love you because you have done so much
to make me happy.
You have done
it without a word,
without a touch,
without a sign.
You have
done it by just being yourself. You have done it by just
being yourself.
Perhaps after all,
that is what love means.
And that is why
I love you.
Until next week, kids. guitar solo Bye.