The Nick DiPaolo Show - 078 - Earthquake, Riots and Jenner

Episode Date: April 28, 2015

Earthquake, Riots and Jenner.   RiotCast.com

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hi, kids. How you with? What it is? Monday, once again. Plugs, let's get them out of the way. Of course, another senseless killing at nickdip.com. Use the code Nick or radio and get three bucks off or pay as much as you want eight dollars and up you can pay as much as you want

still or use the code and save three bucks i mean obviously i can't blame you for doing that and uh it's still moving well and i appreciate the support uh this weekend come see me at the helium comedy club in philadelphia one of my favorite cities uh that's gonna be thursday this thursday friday and saturday one show thursday to friday to saturday helium comedy club in philly one of my favorite gigs great comedy town that city's come a long way man i used to go there in the uh i don't know early 90s when i first started and uh it was kind of creepy but now there's beautiful parks and there's a lot of ass walking around some of the female and i enjoy it not to mention ice cheese steak and uh the crowds are good comedy crowds. They know their shit.

Informative. Pretty well behaved for the most part. And yeah, I usually enjoy myself. I usually fuck up getting down there. But now that I have my Waze app, I suggest you get it too. I don't even use my GPSps my car anymore because this ways app it's just uh it's you know it's based on real-time data other drivers reporting it in and then it's it makes adjustments on the fly as far as traffic goes and and it's uh never let me down except for

once i got lost in queens and get stabbed in the ass but uh i'm not gonna sue but uh yeah matter of fact i used it on the way to anthony comey his house i did his show last thursday uh which was a blast i just crack up every time i uh walk up his driveway to that mansion and uh i mentioned on the show i i expect it it just reminds me the big doorway in the front. When he opens it, I'm going to see that guy from Boogie Nights. Remember the drug dealer and his bathrobe? Little Asian kid throwing firecrackers in the living room. Sister Christian blaring.

That's all I expect. Either that or, you know, to see my sister up on the balcony. Like in Scarface as Manny opens the front door that house just cracks me up come here just look there's a few people only a few people that make me laugh I'll get to that in a second anyways um yeah Acme in Philly this weekend and after that uh Main Street Armory in Rochester, New York on the 16th of May. That's a Saturday night. And still have a dentist appointment on the 19th.

And then Tampa, I'm going to be at Sidesplitters June 4, 5, and 6. Great gig. My buddy Bobby Jewell runs the joint. Former Staten Island guy. Played football, I think, at Wagner. Told me he ran a 4-4. And he's white. Yes, he is white.

4-4 or 4-3. I just didn't want to believe him. But he looks like something tells me he did. He wouldn't lie. A comedy club owner. He wouldn't lie about figures, would he? Yeah. So, all right.

Those are the plugs. Yeah, comey uh did the podcast uh third time and uh it's weird i have bittersweet memories when i go to because the first time i did his show last year uh in august um that was the night i came home my we lost my brother-in-law bobby on that night so every time it's a weird weird feeling when i go into that house i have but um he's so damn funny man he must have a million dollars worth of equipment tv equipment down there the minute i get there somebody hands me a guinness which is like a liquid loaf of bread. Holy shit, is that shit filling? And he just cracks me up, man.

We, you know, eventually everything we talk about leads to the Sopranos or a Goodfellas reference, whatever. And he does a fucking mean Tony Soprano, Anthony, if you haven't heard. He's a dangerous situation. Dangerous situation. He must have said that 40 times during the interview. And, yeah. And people clamoring. Look, I'm going to be honest.

People clamoring. DiPaolo and, you know, you got to be his co-host. Hey, who knows? I mean, I get feelers out. I'm not, you know. So, who knows what could happen i am i have other stuff planned he has stuff planned but don't think it hasn't crossed both our minds and and uh i know people i'm reading you know like on my twitter going or actually on the internet

people saying like yeah but they they're two alike or whatever or they have the same but we wouldn't jerk each other off let me tell you from doing radio uh trust me you're going to talk about enough subjects if you're doing radio five days a week where you're going to bang heads you're not going to agree on everything but you got to enjoy each other as far as that's what chemistry the most important thing is the uh making each other laugh he legitimately there's about five people that make me laugh out loud in the world and he is one of them he is so goddamn funny i'm not just kissing his ass he really is and uh you know and he's well read yes our politics are alike but like i said you know it's not just strictly politics when you do uh shows like that uh you're going to come across

all kinds of stuff and uh all kinds of subjects and you're not going to come across all kinds of stuff and all kinds of subjects, and you're not going to agree on all of them. But you can still be funny when you do agree. I mean, Jesus, every goddamn TV show you watch as far as, you know, news, quote-unquote news is, you know, at least from the liberal side, is, you know, it's people who do think alike. They're not comedy shows, but what I'm saying is we have a great natural chemistry,

so it would be great if something happened. I would really like that. So I don't think it's any secret, but people keep clamoring about it. And then you always have the detractors. Like today, I go online. I try not but you can if you stay on long enough you start to find people and and and you know there's one guy i don't i don't know this is a chat room just in the comment section i don't know where i was looking i forget you want to go into those you know you start with a google search and you

end up in whatever in this comments after and one guy's like well topalo just his podcast you know he doesn't have any guests on he just rambles he's really not that good hey stupid i don't have any guests and i don't uh i don't have phone calls and i don't do ads i talk for an hour straight and sorry uh i i move it forward and and and i've asked that on my twitter a couple times and and and most of the feedback was just do it yourself solo i mean uh you know there's a million podcasts out there where you know it's a bunch of guys talk and that's fine too but uh don't tell me i can't do this because i can all right youoch, there's so many, people just, they have a preconceived notion, this goes for stand-up comedy too, they have a preconceived, and yes, I'm rambling, I'm talking

for a fucking hour by myself, dimwit, and I don't just talk about nothing, I'm talking about you right now, dickhead, and people come with a preconceived notion instead of just taking what they're watching or listening to for what it is at face value they their first instinct is to compare it something else they like and if it doesn't meet that they just shit all over it it's a really simple fucking way of thinking and anyways it was only one out of 100 comments and i shouldn't even be wasting my time but uh no now i'm making his point i I am rambling. Okay, so you got a point, Dick Cheese. You win. Anyways.

Huh? Yeah. Let me get this date book out of the way. And Jesus, what's going on? Oh, the insomnia is back. You know, the last few months, you might have noticed I haven't been mentioning, at least the last month or so

because I've been sleeping pretty goddamn well. To be honest with you, I don't know what changed. Again, it might be stuff in your life. Maybe I was stressed out about getting the new album out. I don't know. Something was bothering me internally.

I have insomnia. I was diagnosed with that, which is horrible. I'm not one of those people that can get by in a few hours. I can sleep for a week straight internally. What happened to that? Fucking warm milk. You know, I saw a lady breastfeeding at the mall. I went up to her and said, I noticed you have one open. And if I sit in with a kid next to me, you know, I'm out like a light in front of the yarn barn for doing enough work. Something about that magical tit milk who whiskied at the... Fucking warm milk. I'd rather be up for a year straight than drink warm milk. Who the fuck likes a taste of warm...

You know who likes warm milk? Brand new babies. You know why? They've never had anything else. You can feed a brand new baby a fucking pound of its own shit, they'll be happy. Have you tried, fuck, have you tried chamomile tea? All the cures for insomnia are very effeminate. And my male friends are telling me that. Why don't you just suck my dick? I'll pass on five minutes. Have you tried rubbing warm yogurt on your taint while you're doing a word scramble?

That makes my Aunt Helen drowsy. Well, does it? She sounds like a sick fuck. They're all really effeminate. Nobody ever goes, have you tried snorting Valium, drinking whiskey, and jerking off? Matter of fact, I have. That's why I'm still tossing and turning. That's why I don't think a bottle of Yoo-hoo at room temperature is gonna do the trick.

I'm watching infomercials every night. I'm up all fucking night watching infomercials. I know more about Cindy Crawford's oily skin. Again, six people know what that is. Fuckin'... everybody's in bed. I guess you have jobs and shit. You work with a man and do idiots. But, uh... Yeah, fuckin'... It's three in the morning. I'm ordering love ballads of the 70s.

I've got 19 hours of air supply in my iPod. I'm calling up, I'll take the porcelain doll with the hooded out dress for nine bucks please. The sun's coming up, I'm trying to get a nut off to Elizabeth Hasselbeck in Fox and Friends. I tried Yambian, I don't know if you've tried that, that's a sleeping pill mixed with some type of medication and devil's semen and Clorox. That shit is the most evil fucking stuff. It'll wipe my memory out for three days completely.

Just wipe my hard drive fucking... I look like Nicholson in fucking Cuckoo's Nest after the brain operation. I came out of the kitchen and I fucking drooled. My wife's like, you want coffee? I'm like, who the fuck are you? Why are you in my house? I tried to stab her with a fucking turkey fork. Then my neighbor calls me like at noon time, you know you tried to finger my wife on the front lawn this morning? What's your point? It's got nothing to do with my toe problems. You got a nice ass.

The Ambien, it was time release. I don't know anything about time release pills, but apparently they have coatings on them. When each coating comes off, that's how they release them. I was cutting these fuckers in half and getting right to the nougat center. When do I have to eat minutes? I'm shitting in my robe. I'm fucking pissing myself.

Holy shit, this is going to kick. I'm crawling on the kitchen floor like Leonardo DiCaprio. Anyways, yeah, it's back. Last, I'd say the last four or five nights. Go to bed, bang, exactly two hours later, up, wide awake. I don't know. And this is after working out. Doing Sean T's insanity.

30 minutes. You got to focus. You got to put through. You got... Guy's so gay. It's so goddamn funny. But I've never seen a guy in more goddamn shape. This guy talks while he's doing a 30-minute brutal workout

where you get like a fucking five seconds rest every six minutes. And he can talk his way he can talk while he's doing it i don't know how he does it but anyways usually when i worked out i'd sleep like a baby that night and uh yeah went to bed 110 last night woke up at 310 wide a fucking wake they tell you don't just lay there, but sometimes you do fall back to sleep. So I lay there for a few minutes and then I was like,

ah, fuck it, I get up at 410. And, you know, went out and put on the goddamn TV watching, once again, Cindy Crawford. That's the bit I'm doing about insomnia. I know more about her oily skin than her dermatologist.

And I'm ordering porcelain dolls and love power ballads of the 70s. And I've been taking Advil PM, which I didn't last night because I took it three nights in a row. And once again, it scrambles my brain. And that's just Advil PM. I have no constitution for fucking drugs. I don't know how these guys do it. They take Ambien and shit but Advil PM does knock me out

after I wake up it does put me back to sleep but I'm gonna fog the next day any of that shit doesn't matter I've tried it all I've tried natural kava I've tried it all I've done it all

and it all it just makes me hazy and feel weird the next day. Because it's fucking with that part of your brain. I have crazy dreams on this Advil PM. Crazy. The other night I take it, I had a dream. I'm in like, I don't know. It was somewhere in Europe at a beautiful resort with Dustin Diamond.

Is that his name? The guy that played Screech? Him and his girlfriend. I was like third man out. How fucked up is he? What the fuck is that about? Yeah. But the dreams aren't just like short.

Usually when I dream, when i'm not taking medication i can't remember the dream but with uh when i take the medication whether it's ambien or any of this shit and it fucks with my brain i dream all night it's kind of crazy but um Yeah, so watch TV this morning. We'll try to go back to bed. Get up. Put on, what did I put on? Oh, Imus in the morning. I always put on Imus.

I ain't sitting on his head. I ain't talking like that. I ain't a stupid. He had Bo Dietl on. Bo Dietl is the guy, if you don't know, who's a detective in the 70s in New York. And he's the guy in Goodfellas when Henry Hill's backing out of his driveway. Remember, the cop puts a gun to his head and said, don't you move, you motherfucker.

I'll blow your brains out. That's Bo Dietl. And very interesting guy. They were talking about this weekend, and I think Anthony Cumia went to it. They had a 25th anniversary it was part of the tribeca film celebration uh the 25th anniversary of goodfellas so they showed the film and then they had uh you know they had a uh q a period after with denaro and all all the guys i guess and and uh bo deedle was on imX this morning talking about how he grew up with Burke, who was the character.

Jimmy Burke is the character portrayed by De Niro, which was Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas. But Bo Dietl's talking about how he knew these guys growing up in ozone park and he's like yeah he's a good guy i mean he did what he did but but but he's almost it's really creepy how uh cops how close they ought to be and and he said uh i think imus asked him why you know you grew up around these how come you didn't end up in the ma and he said because my old man my old man kept me on the straight and that his old man was german i guess it was a deetle comes from and his mother was sicilian and his father when his father used to get mad at him and smack

around he'd he'd call bo bo deetle his son a fucking guinea you fucking guinea. And he used to give him the belt, which I can relate to a little bit. But yeah, he said because of his old man that he instilled the right values in him. And he ended up, you know, like ended up busting Henry Hill and the boys and part of that Lufthansa thing. And he knew all the guys. And just crazy.

And I guess he hooked up with, P wrote the book wise guys and and uh and uh then they were talking about making the movie and scorsese asked bo diddle to bring him up to rails which is this italian italian restaurant in harlem it's very famous it's almost impossible to get in unless you know somebody but that's where all the guys hung out so scorsese would bring him up there and introduce them to a lot of these. These are the actual guys that you see in Goodfellas, actual criminals. I mean, really interesting guy. I got to read. There's a book about Bo Dietl himself out there.

I'm not sure of the title, but I want to check that out. Can you imagine knowing these guys? Jimmy the Gent Burke. He was doing hits at 15 remember uh anyways what else kids is going on um yeah the comia show uh there was a transgender woman there named Mia. And I didn't know what to expect. You know, I guess Anthony, when he did O and A, they always had these people in because Norton has all these fetishes and stuff.

And I didn't know what to expect. And it's, you know, I come in and this, you know, I guess she has a dick. I don't know. It gets really confusing, but she was a woman. She had a woman's face. She talked like a woman. She had breasts and an ass and, and, uh, I didn't feel any need to like make fun of her or anything. It was like a woman. She kept kind of, I think she was kind of hitting on me, if you watch the podcast. But, I mean, you know, she was nice, and, you know, what are you going to do? I understand people freaking out here and there, but come on. Maybe I'm mellowing out my old age, but... Because after the podcast, I was reading, you know, some of the clips on the... DePaulo was really polite.

What am I supposed to doPaulo was really polite. What was... What am I supposed to do? She was being nice. If you're nice to me, I don't... That's why... If you're nice to me, I don't care if you got a dick, a clit, both, a clam, a fucking... Rhino horn. I don't...

Just be nice. That's all. But I mean, because you're easy fodder if you're not gonna be if she was an asshole and then i'm gonna go after but isn't that shouldn't that be the litmus test if people don't give you a hard time don't give them a hard time but i i was sort of surprised myself it was just like sitting there listening to her you know christ said she gets more work than i do she's in like uh i'm sure she's you know done many adult flex but she's in uh grand theft auto and shit like that i'm like who's your agent i'm going to

helium for the 51st time in my life i'd like to be in a dirty movie i'm packing well let's let's skip that but uh yeah so uh you know she just sat there i moved over and let her sit next to anthony and then uh you know she takes she wants a picture after and she's pushing her tits against me and i was like okay i don't mind from the waist up but i don't know what you're gonna you know whatever she kind of almost wrapped her leg around me. I was getting a little nervous. But obviously that leads to the big interview this weekend. I guess it was Friday night. Diane Sawyer, who, by the way, for an old lady, I still think she's a piece of ace. She's a piece of ace.

She's a digital Asian. But she did the Bruce Jenner, the big Bruce Jenner which isn't a real shock i guess you know he's been in the news and the tabloid you can't get away from it i don't even follow the kardashians and shit but every time you pick up the post there's a picture of him coming out of a starbucks and malibu with a hoodie hoodie on and you know but uh it's really interesting for like guys my age because jenner i mean he was the gold medal decathlon winner in what 76 when i was 14 he really was a hero i'm like this guy can do it all man so it it still really is fucking mind boggling but um she asked him a lot of good questions it was fascinating and he just overall just seems like a nice guy

just what are you gonna do you're born a little i don't want to say messed up because that's pejorative and people could but you gotta it is it's a little confusing and the thing is he says that he's a woman but he's still attracted to women and and i'm sitting home going what does that mean and diane saw you beat me to the punch. She goes, does that make you a lesbian? He couldn't even answer it. So you transgender people don't get pissed when, you know, we can't, when we get confused. You know what I mean? Everybody's supposed to be so understanding, but it is a little frigging confusing.

But overall, I mean, it was crazy. They showed him in, they were doing some of the interview in tarrytown and they were in a car and he's like this is the parking lot where my dad taught me to drive and that parking lot was the parking lot that was stop and shop that i used to go to when i lived in tarrytown they're driving around and i'm noticing all the scenery i'm like that's where my bank was that's where the dry clean is and then uh who knew you know, 30 years earlier, that's where he learned to drive. It was crazy seeing all that. He hadn't been back there, I guess, in 55 years.

But even as a kid, I guess, well, right at the bat, let's play some of the interview. He considers himself a woman, you know, even though he's in the, I call it the lava stage, like in between. But here's a little bit of the interview. He considers himself a woman, even though he's in the, I call it the lava stage, like in between, but here's a little bit of the interview. Are you a woman? Yes. For all intents and purposes, I am a woman. People look at me differently.

They see you as this macho male, but my heart and my soul and everything that I do in life, it is part of me. That female side is part of me. That's who I am. And the media loves this angle. They love it. They love the story because it's one thing if he was, let's say he was a male entertainer or a singer or a magician or an actor.

That's one thing. But when you're the greatest athlete in the world at one point, the, you know, come on, the nerds and everybody that runs this business and all the libs love this because it's really saying, look at you heterosexuals. Deep down, you really, you could have the soul of a woman. They played this up so much not with diane soya but another show that came on on another channel one of the local and they kept going they kept showing his prom pictures and they were stressing on what a great athlete you know they

interviewed the high school coach and how handsome he was they interviewed all his old girlfriends in high school and they they they just loved playing up that angle. You know, that look, the greatest athlete, male athlete in the world in the 1976 was actually a woman. They love this. Do you know what I'm saying? They fucking love it. Because they hate jocks. The people that run showbiz. They hate us.

Every movie you see, who's the asshole? The kid with the leather jacket. He's always the date rapist. And, you know, the old buck and the nerds can't let it go. So they love this. That this guy that was so masculine had everybody fooled and he had the soul of a woman. And they just, it was Channel 5. It was a half hour show like after the interview.

And they were just harping on this, how handsome and masculine, and now he wears dresses, and just, it was just, I felt bad. And again, by the way, let me preface all this by going, I realize these stories are a distraction. I swear to God to keep us distracted from what our government, you know,

and what's going on in the world. I really do believe that all this fucking fake rage about gay marriage and all this horseshit. By the way, that's being decided, I think, tomorrow by the Supreme Court, isn't it? On a federal level. But I understand all that. But I usually don't get caught up in a lot of this stuff. But this is Bruce Jenner, man.

This is a guy, like I said, when I was a kid. And it's fascinating. You got to admit, it's kind of fascinating to see that he must have been, I don't want to say he was juicing in the 70s, but the guy was so ripped and shit. Apparently, he's been taking hormone treatments for years to become a woman. It's crazy. You should watch the interview if you have nothing better to do. But I came across feeling really sympathetic for this guy.

Just you know. It would be horrible. I mentioned that to my wife. She goes yeah. She goes imagine if you feel the way you do. But you had to put on a dress every day. And shoes. And I said what do you mean imagine.

Every time you leave the house. I throw on your fucking skirt. And a nice blouse. Then I make myself a sandwich and watch the socks yeah well you're gone i walk around in your pumps watering plants and i ain't gonna imagine nothing but uh you know some people don't take it so well and um live and let live, man. What are you going to do? God. A guy's been through it. I wouldn't put anybody through it.

It's going to be horrible. Some people don't take it that well. And a lot of these transgender people commit suicide. They get beat up. They get murdered. And of course, they showed a couple clips

of where transgender or transsexuals get the shit kicked out of them and guess who did that uh anyways but some people don't take it so well some people flip out that somebody's gay you know here's a couple of uh friends who didn't take it so well when they found out one of their friends was gay it kind of reminded me of this. A mistake now. I can't believe I stuck up for him. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. We can't have him here in our social club no more. I mean, that much I do know.

The social club? He's got to go. I want to think about it. Yeah, I don't know. What the fuck? What is there to think about? Shut up. Fuck that, I'll say it again. What the fuck is there to think about? Shut up. Fuck that, I'll say it again.

What the fuck is there to think about? You're going to take care of his kids? Hide through his gun? It's true. They didn't do nothing. Poor little guys. That was one of the points that was interesting to me in the interview. uh that was one of the points that was interesting to me in the interview she asked uh dan so i asked him why you know it took him so long or whatever and

and he said he didn't want to make it public sooner because of his kids when they were little he's got like he's been married three times he had kids by a couple different women and and um he didn't he thought it would be harmful you know well if it's this i don't know how do you do that one but um you know the sopranos boys weren't so understanding again that's a different situation it's a different situation it's a different situation veto is gay this guy's transgender that's the other thing he was saying. He goes, that I learned, that I didn't understand. Sexual orientation is one thing, and sexual identity is, they're two different things. They're not the same thing. I don't know how to separate those two, but apparently they are.

Anyways, I came away, like I said, just just saying god bless the guy but uh it's uh what else did he uh she asked him oh he you know he knew and and this is what when i was on anthicomia talking to that transsexual mia i'm like well how do you she said she knew when she was a little and i'm like how do you know well she goes I didn't want to play in the dirt and Bruce Jenner this is how he knew. He felt a deep yearning to do something he had never even

heard about before. He wanted to put on a dress. At that time Hey who doesn't? I didn't know why I was doing it. Besides

It was a sale at TJ Maxx. It just made me feel good. It made you feel good. So does a pair of tight blue jeans, though. I mean, come on. But yeah, even as a kid, he tried on his sister's clothes and stuff. You know?

And you hear this all the time. I got a friend who's got uh well they're kind of grown up now but seven eight years ago we were you know went up to visit him uh i was on vacation and uh one of his sons was you know obviously gay we knew because they come the the daughter and uh two other kids come over and say we're gonna put on a play about uh they said about about one of the presidents and and the son said i'm playing the president's wife and we all just looked at each other and uh whatever i'm just saying i don't think there's any doubt they're born that, you know, this way.

That's how I look at it. It's a chemical imbalance or whether it's hormonal, whatever. I mean, you look at a transgender, like the woman that was on Auntie Kumia's show, and I don't know how much work she had done, but she had the facial, the structure, the bones and everything of a woman. You know what I mean? It's kind of obvious. I don't think anybody would choose to go through this shit i know there's a few i mean i know some people there's uh people

who gay people who are molested and uh but i think very few that choose especially as far as transsexual i mean because let's be honest we haven't caught up to that yet. But Jenner, that's his whole thing. He thinks, and I think he's right because he's such a high-profile guy between him being a former Olympian and the last, I don't know how many years on the Kardashian show. You know, I learned a lot from this interview. I'll say it again. What the fuck? So he could do people a lot of good he uh because they do a lot

a lot of transsexuals uh commit suicide he actually addressed that too walking up and down this hall right here back and forth back and forth all night long hearts pounding and i thought wouldn't the easiest thing to be right now, and I could see where people get to that, is go in the room, got a gun, boom. You know, pain's over, it's done. You know, go to a better place. And I thought, I can't do something like that.

I mean, I want to know how this story ends oh boy we all do bruce um better place everybody says that go to a better place i addressed that in my another census killing special better place where what are you talking about a better place for him that would be like uh you know i don't know i'm trying to think of a female store victoria's secret i don't know uh where's the better place it's another thing i'm trying to wrap my head around but um but i think it'll help a lot of people a lot of young people you know so that's that but it was interesting and yes i realize it's pop culture and a lot of people like

well who gives a fuck well again uh he was sort of an idol of mine growing up, and it's kind of fascinating to shed light on shit. But again, in the transgender community, again, don't get pissed at people who don't quite understand it. You see all kinds of stories in the paper now where some kids declare themselves transsexuals or transgender in middle school, and the they want to use uh the the girls want to use the men's room because now she thinks she's a boy and and there's

been all kinds of conflicts and you can understand why some parents would get upset so it's it's not an open and shut thing let's put it that way anyways what the hell else crazy out there isn't it how about poor uh nepal nepal uh the earthquake that hit this weekend nepal is on the border of uh china and india a little country in the strip in between there and uh just a massive, massive 7 point whatever. And they don't have the infrastructure that we do. So some serious damage. And Mount Everest is over there. And 18 people died on Mount Everest. I never understand why the fuck people are up there anyways.

But injured 7,000 people, I guess. And yeah, and they're thinking up to maybe 10,000 or more dead, which is just horrendous. Vast tent cities have sprung up in Nepal's capital, and that would be... I never knew that was Nepal's capital and that would be... I never knew that was Nepal's capital. But 7,000 people setting up tents. Camping outside, no electricity, disease. People are sending

all kinds of shit over there. It's got to be bad if Pakistan is helping out. Although they are arch enemies with India. But they need everything. Blankets, dry goods, mattresses, medicines. It's the young kids. And it's just people. They'll be digging them out for weeks over there.

China. kids and it's just people they're still they'll be digging them out for weeks over there china uh dozens of people reported dead in china and india which i said borders nepal um they're trying to get rid of the bodies as quick as possible because you know then disease starts but there's all they're getting help from everybody, but the airports are getting clogged. UN planes are trying to land and they can't. BBC says entire villages of up to a thousand people could be buried.

Mamma mia. And there's all these, there's a lot of history over there, obviously. 19th century, 200 step Dharahara Tower in Kathmandu. Kathmandu has just crumbled to bits. Durbar Square, an old city that's completely destroyed.

Several buildings in Pathan's 3rd century Durbar Square have completely collapsed. Destruction, culturally speaking, incalculable loss, the Nepali Times editor said. 80 people dead on the mountain. And they put the rebuilding costs at 20% of Nepal's GDP. Or that's about 5 billion, I think, American. Building costs at 20% of Nepal's GDP, or that's about 5 billion, I think, American. UN Children's Agency says nearly a million children in Nepal urgently need humanitarian assistance.

Mama. You know what they need. And I'm not playing this. I'm not doing this tongue in cheek, but we need, I know who could do a benefit because he's from that area and could raise a ton of money

because he's huge over there and I'm making him huge over here. You know who I'm talking about. I don't even know his name. I just know he's very popular from India. That's right, the Love Charger, motherfuckers. He better step in. He's a man of influence over there. Say a prayer

for them folks. Oh my God. Let that sink into your heads for the next month. Keyboard solo. Hit it. Hit it, Jabal. That's a beautiful, he's got a beautiful voice. A beautiful voice. I should really have his name, but I don't.

He better step in and do a benefit. He's big in the area. He's like the head of a cult. I told you that when I first introduced him to you guys, right? And he's got like millions of people in this cult and like 400 are suing him because he talked them into removing their testicles. You can actually Google that. Oh, yeah.

That's serious influence over your fans. You know, I don't think Justin Bieber's fans would remove their clits. Maybe they would. Yeah. So best of luck over there. Hope they get all the once again, the u.s is in the lead sending shit i wonder if russia's sent anything uranium or something um what else politically to politics fucking hillary okay i've been saying it's now

been saying it for months that she's had too much baggage that was before all this came out all this quid pro quo stuff and the Clinton foundation accepting money from uh foreign governments and returned for favors by the secretary of state Hillary Clinton at the time and and uh of course everybody on the talk shows on the left saying well there's no smoking gun there's she hasn't done anything illegal which is apparently you don't have to the threshold is lower than that if you read up on all this stuff i think she's fucked i don't know what you people on the left are gonna do i don't know but uh i know people like martin o'Malley are doing more investigating into jumping into the race.

I wouldn't be surprised if Elizabeth Warren is, she keeps saying she's not gonna, but the more this shit builds up with Hillary, it's just unbelievable. And I think Meet the Press gave it, of course they opened with, I don't know what they opened with, I think maybe the earthquake. I think they touched, the 60 minutes, they touched on Hillary for about four minutes. Can you imagine if it was Mitt Romney

and some of his foundations and there was this type of impropriety going on? Can you imagine? Can you imagine if any Republican republican if they had this shit in their history and they i mean it would be a feast that's all you'd hear about they barely touched on it and of course george stephanopoulos was defending hillary he had the author of clinton cash i think his name is peter schweitzer that's the book that's revealing all these things and um he was on the sunday talk shows and and just stepping off less veins coming

out of his forehead trying to defend his old pal hillary and it's unbelievable they don't even try to hide their bias it's fucking outrageous um but i gotta believe she's toast she's toast and it's so weird the polls like 65 of the country say she's untrustworthy yet she's still winning uh in all the polls against everybody that would run against her rubio's the closest i guess but uh what does that say yeah we know she's a lion and a fucking cheater and but uh she's the most suitable to be president and i know you're thinking oh that means republicans but but bullshit the clintons are just plain shady and it's it's just her sense of entitlement are we really supposed to believe now her wiping her personal server clean she wasn't trying to

hide the shit all these favors and she helped set up and she helped this guy this juicer guy in canada who owned uranium plants in like afghanistan and here helped set up a deal so he could sell it to putin a company owned by put. $141 million worth of uranium. So now Russia controls a lot of uranium. Are you just done that alone? Are you kidding? Not to mention money from Hamas supporting Qatar. And obviously Saudi Arabia, where women can't even drive. And they're abused. Not to mention money from Hamas supporting Qatar.

And obviously Saudi Arabia, where women can't even drive and they're abused. And then again, the money I just mentioned from Russia. Purchaser of uranium who can now hand it over to Iran. Yeah, and she was the secretary. Boy, you really reset that Russian thing. I'll say you reset it. Right back to 1954. I still say she's got to drop out.

She's got way too much baggage. I mean, even the New York Times is up her ass. What does that tell you? And the Washington Post, all these liberal rags, they're all over her. It's so glaring. She's just so pompous about it. But like I said, she has a vagina, so, you know, she'll be immune to all these attacks from most of the media, at least on TV.

I couldn't believe, meet the press, I couldn't fucking believe. They talked about it for about five minutes, like it was a passing story, and I'm sitting there going, Jesus, when Mitt Romney made that comment, remember he didn't know he's being recorded he said something uh he could only he couldn't help the 99 or whatever he's talking about a certain segment of the population that he could never help that was his big remember his big sin they had him saying that and when he didn't know he's being recorded and they spent weeks on that showing that finger it's just so out of whack.

It really is. The media is so fucking out of whack. But I was reading in the Post. This guy really sums it up. Hillary destroyed thousands of emails about her private dealings. Private in quotes. Destruction of evidence, not to mention leaving foreign donations off the foundation's tax returns. That's another thing she did.

Tends to underscore that the couple was hiding something. Gee, you think? And that the evidence in those emails or the entities listed on the tax returns would have been incriminating. In this case of the emails, there is a legal concept known as spoliation of evidence. In short, if a court finds that a party has destroyed evidence, it is permissible to assume that it would have proven guilt. Courts have long employed the adverse inference jury instruction or

spoliation inference to sanction spoliation of evidence spoliation that's how it's pronounced under this inference the jury is instructed that it may assume that the lost evidence if available would have been unfavorable to the spoliator again we are not in court but the common sense inference that

many voters and the media may make is that destroying the emails was, in essence, a cover-up. Yeah, no shit. Whatever. Don't want to get too technical. Sorry. But wouldn't you say she's fucked? If she's not, let me tell you something. If she's even the nominee, I don't think I'll ever vote again.

I really don't. People, you know, a lot of people say that you're a sucker if you vote. And, you know, the older I get, the more I'm believing that. Because even with Obama, it's like, really? Nobody knew a thing about him? We still don't? Somebody said he was selected, not elected. It feels that way, don't it?

Sure do. Hey, that reminds me. Bill Hicks. New Wave Dynamics. ado hey that reminds me uh bill hicks uh new wave dynamics i don't have the article in front of me but uh dynamics i don't know go to the website they're gonna tomorrow they're releasing all bill hicks's stuff he would have loved this stuff this conspiracy stuff but all his stand-up i guess uh one of his films relentless one of his specials called Relentless, is going to be played in theaters tonight, but the article didn't mention where the theaters were.

But I want to say New Dynamics is the company, part of New Wave, which did my Raw Nerve album special. Matter of fact, in the USA Today, there was pictures of some of the specials that they've done, and Raw Nerve was in there. I was kind of proud of that. But yeah, if you're a Hicks fan, it all comes out Tuesday.

I want to say New Wave Dynamics, I'm not sure. Anyways, that'll be pretty awesome. I'd like to know what theaters they were showing Hickson. And again, he was like a real liberal guy, but really funny and mean and smart. And his politics, I thought, were way off. One of his quotes was, there's nobody out there that's a threat to us.

Yeah, cut to 3,000 people on 9-11. But really funny, really enlightening, and fucking just an awesome comic. And, you know, he died of pancreatic cancer at the age of, Christ, what was he, 33, I think? Pretty goddamn sad, but he was a bit of a genius. So if you're a Hicks fan, go find that and let me know where you found it. What the hell else?

Yeah, so I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out the Dems, the B plan, if it's not Hillary. Joe Biden, they got nobody. They got no backbench. Joe Biden, they got nobody. They got no backbench. They got nobody. Martin O'Malley's a real mama luke. And Elizabeth Warren and her, you know, fucking inequality, income inequality horseshit.

She's one note. You know, you're supposed to have income inequality in a capitalist system. You know that, don't you? Some people are going to do better than others. That's the beauty of it. And the ones that do better pull up everybody else. Yeah, that's how it works. Try grasping that, Mama Luke's.

What the hell else is going on? Oh, what else? It wouldn't be news in the United States without a little racial tension. Baltimore. Baltimore, this young black kid, Freddie Gray, was apprehended by the cops and ended up, cops ended up,

well, they don't know yet, but he ended up with a severed spine and dying in custody. And obviously there's been protests for the last few days that turned violent this weekend because a certain segment of the population will not wait till the facts are in before they fucking start destroying shit you know didn't we learn anything from ferguson and um it doesn't look good for the cops and if that's the case case, they are guilty of this. They'll all be, you know, the system will work and they'll be sent to jail for life or whatever.

But don't start with the fucking shenanigans. And then nobody's going to fucking respect your point of view. But the big story once again here is how the media fails to identify the leader of the riots in Baltimore this weekend. And that being Malik Shabazz. Major news outlets, media outlets have failed to report one of the main leaders of the splinter group of the Baltimore protesters who turned violent. And the leader is a notorious racist and the former national chairman of the new black panther party and that is uh malik shabazz you've seen him on i think o'reilly's had him on and hannity and just a hateful he was responsible for the uh the two uh black panthers

back was it 2008 i was standing in front of the polling booths with billy clubs in Philadelphia, just calling white people crackers and yelling all kinds of racial shit. But the New York Times and the Associated Press, all the typical suspects, the New York Daily News, CBS Local, and other news media outlets all named Malik Shabazz as leader of the breakaway chaotic protest. and other news media outlets all named malik shabazz as leader of the breakaway chaotic protest yet each of these news outlets only identify shabazz as president of black lawyers for justice that's how they referred to him in all their stories fucking white cowardice unbelievable the media is just playing they just want to throw gas on this fire it's unbelievable don't even have the balls to mention you know his history

just fucking priceless the new york times said uh there malik shabazz president of black lawyers for justice a washington dc-based group that called for the demonstration and advertised it on social media told the crowd he would release them in an hour, adding, shut it down if you want to, shut it down. The New York Daily News informed its readers, things will change on Saturday and the struggle will be amplified, said Malik Shabazz of Black Lawyers for Justice. CBS Local featured a photo of Shabazz leading protest chants in Baltimore yesterday with a caption that identified the radical simply as attorney Malik Shabazz. Yeah, he's a regular Alan Dershowitz.

Just a violent fucking racist anti-Semite is what he is. But none of these frigging liberal rags would point that out. Pee fucking you. Not a single news media outlet quoted above informed its readers of that, which is a simple Google search of Malik Shabazz reveals. He served as the national chairman of the New Black Panther Party 2013. Oh, my God. That case in Philly in front of the polling booths in 2008. that case in Philly in front of the polling booths in 2008,

according to the complaints, both men standing in front of the, these are the two Black Panthers, new Black Panthers, standing in front of the polling station pointed at voters and shouted racial slurs using such phrases as white devil and you're about to be ruled by the black man, cracker. Ah. Oh, my God. And he's a lawyer. Yeah.

He's done a lot of shit. He's got, you know. But I, you know, let it play out. And the system will work, man. You know, they threw this kid in the back of a paddy wagon, and boy, from the clips I see on TV, it looked like his neck was already injured, I mean, he was dragging his legs, I don't know if he was paralyzed at the time, but they didn't strap him in the paddy wagon, and he was bouncing around, and they didn't get him to EMTs in time, they didn't stop, they drove around for like a half

hour, and I mean, if that all comes out, those guys have to go to jail forever. Same with the South Carolina, the Charleston, that cop who shot the black guy running away.

He should get the frigging chair. If that's, again, let it all play out though. But I mean, that one was on tape. It looks pretty obvious. But don't try to lump all these into one thing, you know but don't try to lump all these

into one thing you know don't try to because they bring it up they go yeah ferguson this that no no you can't lump in ferguson we let the system play out and it turned out the cop was right and holder and all the other races were wrong but let it play out. Don't start fucking rioting. And the Red Sox, I was watching the Sox. They were in Baltimore. And I'm watching the game, and the announcers go, oh, there's a statement up on the Jumbotron telling the people, it was like the ninth inning, Sox are getting beat bad, and it said telling the people inside the stadium to stay inside the stadium when the game was over.

And I was just giggling and laughing because picturing, you know, Red Sox, you know, Boston's reputation. The crazy Irish and fucking selfie and all that. And their reputation. Them, you know, they're not known to keep their mouth shuts after a few beers them wandering out out of the stadium and running into uh these uh you know shabazz's protesters that could get ugly i guess it did they broke a few restaurant windows and trashed a few cars and uh but uh you know that going to help you cause, is all I'm saying. Haven't we frigging learned that, at least from Ferguson? But again, if that's the case, you know, let the system do its work.

This isn't 1955. Don't act like we haven't made progress on that. Send him to jail if that's the case. I don't even know what the kid did. I don't even know what started the whole thing. You know? But that doesn't look good for the cops, at least from the footage I saw.

From what I saw, it does not look good for the cops. Yeah, they threw him in the back of the minivan. He had requested help several times, but was driven around for at least 30 minutes with the cops making at least three stops before paramedics were called. An attorney for Gray's family said 80% of his spine

had been severed at the neck. How the fuck? So it started off peacefully. There's like 1,200 peaceful protesters and that was on Saturday and then there was a splinter group that looted convenience stores and threw tables

through storefront windows. Shabazz was the leader of the Splinter Group. Or as the New York Times call him, a black lawyer. Fucking gutless times. Just gutless. Fucking just throwing gas under the fire. I don't know what their ultimate goal is. I guess to bring down the country.

Quack, quack, quack. Speaking of socks, boy, they showed all their weaknesses this weekend in Baltimore. Their bullpen gave up. They got beat 18-7 on Sunday. I think it was Sunday. Their bullpen gave up, I don't know, 15 runs or 11 runs or something. And 15 hits in like five innings. And Wade Miley, our lefty, he just imploded like in the third inning.

It was like 7-1 before they took him out. And boy, you know, we worried as Sox fans. We didn't have a number one starter. How do you let Lester go and Andrew Miller, who, by the way, is the Yankees' closer? I don't understand how you let them both get away. But anyways, Ujihara, our closer, remember him? Who was like the frigging MVP when we won in 2013?

He never threw hard. He never threw harder than 88, 89, but he can't even hit 86, 85 with a fastball. All he has is that split finger. And when that thing's not working i could hit him and so he came in and got shellacked the other night and this wade miley got shellacked he's a starter all only guys we got it looks like is clay bulkholz and he's already been hammered once and so it's going to be frightening man but uh the red sox offense is Hanley Ramirez. Oh, my God. He hit two bombs. He's got eight, eight or nine.

I think he's got eight and like 18 RBIs, but he's just like Manny Ramirez. He can't catch a fly ball. He's shaky in the outfield and just runs through stop signs when the base coaches are telling him to stop when he's rounding 30 runs right through this. He's just like Manny,

but boy, can he hit the shit out of a baseball. He was a skinny little shortstop when he was a rookie. Now he's a, I'd have him piss into a cup real soon. But, so he's putting up numbers, but the Sox, you know,

lost two out of three to the Orioles, who are nothing special right now. And then last night on national TV, those super Mets who had the best record in baseball took on the Yankees in the subway series and the Yankees took two out of three from them. Merritt Harvey was the only one to win. That guy's unbelievable.

He's a future Hall of Famer if he stays healthy. I'd like to get Tommy John, if I can throw like that. But yeah, Yankees took two out of three. A-Rod hit another. Homer. And so all of a sudden the Sox are like a game behind the Yankees in Tampa, who also is supposed to stink.

They swept Toronto. This American League East is wide open it really is it's wide open I thought the Yanks were going to be a joke and you know they look pretty good

they have a great bullpen thanks to the Red Sox anyways so the Sox are going to put up mucho runs but the problem being so is the opponent if they don't get some pitching

I'm hoping this Yui Hara gets his shit together or it's going to be Sayonara. That's about it, kids. I got to be honest with you. Helium this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday in Philly. Going to be a good time.

What else? I wanted to give a shout out to my niece, Jenna. Jenna DiPaolo, my brother's daughter who goes to dayton university she's on the uh female golf team and she was in a tournament down in walt disney world florida in orlando the mac which is the uh i think it's the uh metro atlantic athletic conference she's a golfer she's a sophomore and they had her on the poster I think it's the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference. She's a golfer.

She's a sophomore. And they had her on the poster as one to watch. And so it was a bunch of teams. There was like, I don't know, 13, 14 teams, 40. In other words, she's going up against like 40 other female golfers. She came in seventh overall and got an award for scholastics. How about that? My niece Jenna.

She shot a 79, an 81, and a 78. Okay? Not too bad. She's been doing it for a few years. My brother Greg is a big golfer. I asked him years ago should i try it and he said no you're fucking gonna have to patience you'll end up in prison don't do it it's no good it's no good but uh he taught her and she's a chipper up the old block so she came in seventh out of like 40 women and uh cute as a button and smart and uh nice going jenna there were like eight schools so uh pretty cool that's how i know i'm getting old i mean she was just a kid yesterday and then

my brother greg's's son Anthony plays hockey. Let me see. I've been married, what, 12 years? Because he was born like the day I was married right before. It's like 12 years old. Can skate his ass off. It's going to be fun. That's about it, kids. I hope to see you in Philly if you're in that neck of the woods.

You know, even if you're in South Jersey. Come on down. It's going to be a good time. Anything else? I don't think so. Let's pray for the people in Nepal, huh? We're so lucky that shit doesn't hit here. But until next week.

Why is everyone so fucking stupid more people interrogate me not even what I wanted to hit how funny is that what the hell did I want I guess that's it I can't think of anything else. Except, uh... Ah, that's it. I keep doing this. We'll talk to you kids next Monday.

Good day, everybody. And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started, I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else, no, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else, well I'm not like everybody else. I'm not. guitar solo Bye.