The Nick DiPaolo Show - 089 - More PC Horse Shit
Episode Date: July 13, 2015More PC Horse Shit  RiotCast.com...
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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hi kids, how are you? Good?
No you're not. Look around.
We're rotting from the inside out.
Just looking at the Sunday Post picture of this this guy he's been on the fucking paper
every day this week he's got more ink than amy schumer has for christ's sake in the last two
weeks the same homeless guy looks like he's from some third world shithole he's got a blanket tied
around him like a fucking poncho it was actually a Mets blanket. But this piece of shit has been just pissing and shitting
all over the sidewalks on the Upper West Side of Manhattan
and various neighborhoods.
They keep moving him around.
And they arrest him, and they put him in jail for leg,
and he's out two hours later laying in the same spot shitting,
threatening people with broken bottles. But this is is the liberal way this is what you want we're watching uh 20
years of greatness created by giuliani and bloomberg being uh just fucking uh pissed away
as the paper says fucking libs you really do have a you have mental disorder. I don't know what it is.
You have to be liked.
You have to, you know,
have to think you're more compassionate than everybody,
even if it's, well, it's not even that.
You just want to lock up the Democratic vote
for the next hundred years
by turning this country into a third world shithole.
Congratulations, you're well on your way.
You're fucking winning big time,
which means the Republican idiots on the right are just fucking just that, idiots.
Anyways, how are you? Good afternoon. You know who I am. You know who I am.
You're goddamn right. Time to infect your brain with a little Apollo mind control.
Spreading my love.
Spreading it throughout the universe via one podcast at a time.
This should be the new song for New York City.
You know what I mean?
Just see 50,000 cabbies at noontime doing this dance in Times Square.
In that pedestrian area that they have roped off.
That's caused all kinds of fucking havoc with traffic and everything else.
Kids being molested by guys dressed up like the Cookie Monster.
Fucking rotting from the inside out.
Play that fucking flute, cocksucker.
I mean synthesizer.
Sorry, Sing.
Oh, you got to laugh at it all.
If you don't, you goddamn cry.
Oh, that de Blasio.
He's a big girl, in my opinion, by the way now we'll get back to you
later there punjab uh yeah but can i think uh de blasio is a big girl you know he married a
bisexual black woman uh you know which really means he doesn't like pussy i think he's a big
girl okay just my opinion and she's a big man. I mean, she's proved that.
And like I said, he married a woman who looks like a young Al Sharpton.
And he's a big goofy fuck.
He was on the float during the women's soccer parade.
I'd say congratulations, but it really kind of depressed me.
I was pulling for Japan, to be completely honest with you.
I don't want anything that can increase the popularity of that faggy sport in my country.
And it's just that.
It's for 10-year-old suburban girls.
Let's leave it at that.
And, you know, a few guys in Europe and a few women slash guys that play in the women's league here.
Anyways,
did you see him?
De Blasio up on the float
trying to fucking suck up all the...
Just so transparent.
He's been out of town for a couple weeks.
All of a sudden he shows up for the parade,
his big goofy head
up on the float.
You could see the soccer broads
wanting to just punch him in the head.
They're like, it's our time.
Can we have it?
And by the way,
they keep bragging.
I keep hearing this.
I can't even,
I don't even watch it anymore.
ESPN, thank you.
I'm being whittled down with channels.
I don't watch,
I can't watch Meet the Press anymore
or George Stephanopoulos.
So I meet with 12 ladies
to play bridge on Sunday morning morning now um to fill the time
like i i can't even fucking sports sports on espn is so politically correct and then
around the horn with anthony reali you know another big lib and uh professor blackerstone
and his politically correct horseshit. He's whining.
And, you know, the girls' soccer team had 25 million viewers,
which begs to ask the question,
how come they're not paid as much as the men's soccer players?
That would be because when you win the World Cup and the men's league,
you're the best in the world.
I'll try to explain this to you.
See, that still means something.
That's why they don't make what fucking men make.
Because everybody knows
that this women's soccer team
isn't the best in the world at what they do.
And what they do is the game of soccer.
And the best soccer team would be would be whoever wins that the men's league
that's why they don't make what the men make can you get that three little fucking heads
yeah and um i'm sure that'll change though you know just out of fairness i mean i've been hearing
about this fucking soccer since i was three i know we
talk about it almost every episode but it was such a big hit the woman's thing i know the ratings are
through the roof yet they couldn't get enough money together to to throw the parade down the
the uh the canyon of heroes by the way that's where you know that's where we used to reserve
the uh canyon of heroes for you know astronauts when they came back from the moon.
Veterans when they came back from World War II.
Now it's girls' soccer.
My, how the mighty have fallen.
Yuck.
And I know some of you have listened to have kids that play.
Good for them.
Congratulations.
kids that played good for them congratulations if they're girls they'll they'll quit after college and realize they can just marry a guy that's got a lot of dough that was sexist you're goddamn right
it was put that in your pipe and smoke it i'm fucking waging war against the politically correct
horseshit but um anyways how are you? Good? Good.
What did I do this weekend?
Well, let me get the plugs out of the way.
This Saturday night, finally.
This Saturday night, July 18th, I'm at the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut.
Come on out.
It's my favorite venue.
I really, I put out at this venue.
I'm like fucking Springsteen.
I'm going to leave it all out on the floor.
Not that I don't do that at Uncle Funny's in fucking Bora Bora,
but, you know,
I really let it cut loose
and I'll leave a wake of bodies
behind me as I leave
the bucolic Ridgefield Playhouse,
which is a gorgeous venue.
And so come on out.
Come on, you got nothing better to do.
What are you going to fucking watch?
I mean, women's soccer is over. What are you going to fucking watch? I mean, women's soccer is over.
What are you going to do?
Yeah.
And then July 22nd, which is a week from this Wednesday, I'll be out in L.A.
I'm going to go out there and do, I think, Rogan's podcast, Carolla, Greg Fitzsimmons,
and I'm lining up a few others.
And while I'm out there that Wednesday night, July 22nd,
I'll be at the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club in Ventura, California.
Right up off the 101, I believe.
I'll have to look at my map and use my Waze app to get there.
Boy, do I rely on that fucker.
Man, I think I would have 12, 13 tickets in the last six months
if it wasn't for that app. Anyways, I'm sure the lot. I think I would at 1213 tickets in the last six months wasn't for that app
Anyways, I'm sure the cops excited. I said that I
Am the love charger. I am the love charger. I am a motherfucking love charge
Sing it, bitch.
I'm sorry, man.
I need something to make myself laugh.
What the hell did I want to talk about today? I'm going to Amy Schumer's premiere Tuesday night.
Trainwreck.
Be fun.
It's somewhere off of Broadway, on Broadway, whatever.
One of those theaters down there.
And I'm actually looking forward to it.
Because our buddy Colin Quinn plays her father.
I heard he's hilarious in the movie.
I think Dave Attell has a part in it, playing a homeless guy and whatnot,
and a few other friends.
And, yeah, I like those.
Last premiere I was invited to.
It's better when you're in the movie, obviously.
I think Beer League gave me an idea how in the movie, obviously. Beer League.
Give you an idea how my film career has gone since Beer League.
Beer League, yes.
Artie Lang's movie, which was a goddamn good movie.
I'm not just saying it.
Even Roper, Richard Roper, our friend that actually gave it, you know, a thumbs up or whatever the fuck they do now
four nipples two taints um but uh that was fun that was a fun night me and my wife was sitting
right behind howard stern and beth talking about feeling like a nobody in the industry
but uh yeah it was fun i couldn't even see over howard's big hairdo
and uh i was staring at beth's you know the nape of her neck
missed the whole movie but uh after the movie this guy comes up me and starts talking to me
and i'm going how do i know this guy and i'm like oh duh no it was
before the movie it was uh it was uh a guy who was in beer league obviously he played the asshole
remember the guy with the big italian hairdo um he's uh but i'm talking to him and not recognizing
i must have had a few in me i just you, we hadn't gotten to see the movie yet,
but he's talking to me before the movie,
telling me how much he loves my comedy.
And I didn't even put two and two together
that it was this actor who I love, Anthony DeSando.
He played Brendan Fallone on The Sopranos.
Remember Christopher's meth head buddy?
If you don't remember him i watched uh you know i watch he uh that's how i fall asleep every night watching episode of the sopranos i watched uh an episode the other night and it
was fallone brendan was in it because he's such a great actor uh it was when uh tony's kind of
chewing out Christopher.
They had just knocked over a truck,
calmly trucking.
That was Uncle Junior's territory.
They didn't know it.
So Christopher's refusing to, you know,
pass on the goods.
And Tony's giving him a lecture.
And Brendan Pallone's next to him.
And Brendan Pallone throws his two cents in
and Tony gets up and tosses them.
Oh, here it is.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
You've got a reputation for immaturity,
and it's not going to be improved by not paying the tributes
the acting boss demands of you.
Acting boss, my ass, Tony.
Come on, everybody knows you really run things
since Jackie became the Kimo Sabe.
Open the fucking door.
He laughs at his own joke.
Open the fucking door.
Oh, he fucking cracks me up. He laughs at his own joke.
Oh, he fucking cracks me up.
Since Jackie became the chemo-sabi.
Jackie was acting boss and was going through cancer treatments.
And Brendan Valonza, that's how he refers to him as in chemotherapy, chemo
sob. Then he laughs at his own joke like an
asshole. And then he's trying
to fuck with a Meadows girlfriend. The guy
is so good. He was so good in Beer League
and
that's what scares me about acting, man.
I mean, the few episodes
he was in
in Sopranos, he was, I mean, he was better than
great, and then you don't see him, then you don't see him for five years, or whatever, I'm sure he's
done other stuff, but my point being, that's the kind of life that actors live, man, even when you
fucking knock it out of the park, you're like, what happened to that guy, know and uh it's really crazy we were talking about that
how they're just out there you know at least as your comic you can you get steady work
thank god if you're you know semi-decent even if you suck the people don't know the difference
between a good comic and a blowjob hack let's be honest matter of fact the hacks make the bigger
money when i think about it. But that should be fun.
Tuesday night, Amy Schumer train wreck.
And it comes out on Friday, I want to say.
I believe.
She's fucking huge.
I can't open the paper or magazine without seeing her.
And I'll find out.
Again, this is a long shot.
But I think they announce Emmy nominees on this Thursday, I believe.
And again, I'm not holding my breath.
You know, I mean, they know my politics.
I mean, during the Larry the Cable Guy roast, I think it was, you know, right in the middle of it,
when they moaned at one of my jokes, I went, fuck you liberal faggots, and gave the crowd the finger.
And I think I said, God bless Hank Holter.
Yeah, you don't think they fucking put that in the back of their mind?
But I shouldn't be reminding them, but they're not going to hear this.
But yeah, the Emmy nominations come out, the announcements, I think Thursday this week.
And then, yeah, Saturday night I'll do Ridgefield.
And Sunday night I'm going to go on a plane to L.A.
And go out there and have some fun with Joe Rogan,
who I fucking love, by the way.
Guy's like a bottle of testosterone.
I told you I'm out there.
I go, yeah, I'm thinking about juicing, Joe.
And most people go,
well, why would you do that?
You know, it's not good for your body.
It'll fucking hurt your kidneys.
Joe looks at me and goes,
why wouldn't you think about doing that?
I'm like jesus
christ really what do i have the physique of uh fucking sandy duncan what do you mean why wouldn't
i do that but he's like what's the option you're gonna get older and die and it's like holy shit
and then he i told you this before and i came back from uh the west causing gym but then he puts up a
picture of stallone that i'd never seen before and again this is like a from a year or two ago
stallone in a gym he looked more ripped than like he did when he did uh you know first blood
it's fucking scary guy must have nuts like Spanish peanuts mink yeah uh yeah so uh good
luck to Amy Schumann not that she's gonna need I mean, everybody's in the goddamn room. Bill Hader, LeBron James.
I heard he knocks it out of the park in his little piece.
And, uh...
Hey, you know.
She's going to be a multi-zillionaire.
Me, I'm rolling dime bags on the corner of Broadway and High Street.
I'm trying to... I'm trying to burp, but I can't do it.
I got about 11 mosquito bites on my back.
Me and the wife went, found a few trails around here,
up in the woods of Westchester.
And around, you know, you guys have driven by these beautiful reservoirs
with bridges going over them up in Westchester.
I want to tell you exactly where,
but, you know, up in the Millwood,
Briarcliff Manor,
whatever the fuck area.
These beautiful reservoirs.
Actually, they provide the drinking water
for New York City.
So every time I have a bad show in the city,
I come up here and I go over to the reservoir
and I drop a deuce in it,
hoping it lands in somebody's sink on the east side
oh come on that was kind of a good one wasn't it sure
yeah so we found some trails and... Fucking great, man.
One of them was kind of swampland, though,
and it was like fucking Nigeria.
I felt like one of those little kids, you know,
with the bloated bellies, looking for a sandwich.
Just got the shit bit out of me.
Walking, just piles of mosquitoes,
and something's going on.
My pond, you should see the goddamn...
I told you about how i how i sent away
with this giant rake and i pulled all this i pulled enough seaweed and algae out of there to
fucking you know feed six towns and um it all grew back plus some and uh yes i sent away don't
you don't have to hit me up on twitter i've done all the research
i sent away for all the shit i'm throwing stuff in there to get rid of it and you know fish are
floating to the top of the look on their face like what the fuck you choking us out um no i'm not
killing the fish it's all natural it's just you know basically it's uh fruit loops some uh whole some whole brand cereal. But I have to get some carp illegally.
I have to sneak some carp into the state.
I know of a carp dealer in the Bronx.
I'll meet him on the corner of Fight the Power
and Die Whitey Avenue at 3 in the morning.
He'll slip me a couple of fish nice.
Yeah, so we found these.
They're actually bike trails.
Some of them are paved that i mean that go around the reservoir and um it's fucking unbelievable there's a bridge that used
to be a bridge for for trains i got one of those wooden wooden partly wooden partly steel bridges
there's a sign that says don't jump off it but but I got to do it before the summer's over.
It's like, I would say 50 feet.
I did 76 feet in high school.
It was the stupidest thing I ever did.
I told you, I tore my shoulder out.
Could have went right to the bottom
because I had two bad shoulders before I took the leap.
But this one's about, I would say, 45, 50 feet.
It looks just so tempting.
I bet you the kids do it all the time.
If I go over there and I see young kids doing it, I'll do it.
But just a beautiful day.
Just fucking walked around.
Everybody's biking.
You know, watch these pricks on their bikes do 60 miles an hour.
But it is a bike trail.
But just gorgeous. bike trail, so. But, and just gorgeous.
Frigging gorgeous.
There's all kinds of trails, man, that you could find.
Every day you go out, you could find a new one.
Just a good day.
And then on the way back, went to the, picked up three lobsters.
Went to the, picked up three lobsters.
Had lobster outside on the patio with a few Heinekens.
That's why the terrorists have to die because of days like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Do you know what I'm saying, kids?
Just a fantastic day.
Ate and drank like a king. Then I got up i said i'm gonna do a t-shirt there you gotta
focus you gotta stay with it 30 minutes to let and i said i got up and i said fuck that i'm exhausted
what did i do today not much did i guys tell you did i tell you the story i'm jesus christ i have
no memory did i tell you the story about me on the sit-down lawnmower that went out of control a couple weeks ago?
I'm cutting this bank.
I hope I didn't tell you this last show.
Maybe I did.
Maybe I mentioned it on Joe Matariz's podcast.
I'm cutting my lawn, and there's a deep embankment that you have to be very careful.
And I have one of those lawnmowers
that, you know, it doesn't have the steering wheel and has the two handles, the left and right.
That's how you turn. It can turn like on a dime. Anyways, I've cut this bank many times. At the
bottom of the steep bank is a brook that runs in front of my house. And there's big rocks,
like rocks that are too big for me to actually lift all along that
brook i had my guatemalan friends leg down there and anyways you know my wife's in the house doing
whatever i'm out there i got my headphones on i think i might have had a couple beers and um
i i got a little cocky on my sit down mower and uh i started to come down on this angle thinking
i was gonna make like a hard right
but it was a little wet from when it rained last week and i'm trying to turn right and the weight
of the lawnmower is just sending me down that fucking hill heading for the rocks in the brook
what's funny about it was i had my headphones on and i'm listening to pavarotti it was the most
surreal i thought i was gonna die you never know, the fucking propellers are flying,
but I have Pavarotti in my headphones,
as I'm trying to cut right,
and this thing's just sliding down the hill,
right up on the,
but you hear the propellers,
luckily the engine's cut right off,
they have something built in for that,
and the thing's up,
sitting up on like rocks,
the front of it's a little bit in the water, front wheels in the water and the fucking the uh part with the
the part with the blades that part is sitting right on fucking it's like balancing on rocks
and i'm cursing the wife fucking looks out the window starts laughing comes down and she's like
you can get
that i'm like are you fucking high i was ready to call my neighbor he's got a golf cart a couple
years ago he had to pull me out of not not this brook a different one but um and apparently i'm
not the only one to do it because the guy that owned the house before me when my neighbor pulled
me out a couple years ago he goes yeah paul used to do this three times a year but uh i'm out there rocking it luckily my wife said like she's got the strength of a
she's like an ant she can lift a thousand times her weight she's helping me rock this fucker
and uh somehow we got it loose but uh just the i you know i jumped off it i go right i go into
the water in my fucking work boots like an idiot.
I'm just thinking.
Luckily, I don't have neighbors that can see through the woods.
I mean, I have one house that could see what I'm doing,
but they were on vacation, luckily.
But what an ass.
I go flying off the front of it, fucking headphones into the water.
But the funny part was the Pavarotti in my ears.
And you're like, you have Pavarotti?
Yes.
Yes, it's on my iPod.
Sometimes I play it when I'm eating dinner,
when I'm cooking.
Pretty greaseball, isn't it?
But how did I get on that?
I don't know.
I'm all over the fucking place.
What the hell?
Oh, hey, Goodfellas fans.
You got to be excited, don't you?
I don't know if you...
Again, a lot of stuff on the paper today.
But you Goodfella fans, and who isn't that listens to this podcast?
Maybe a couple of gay fellas.
But we've got a book coming out, huh?
It's at the end of the month, or I don't know, 1st of August, the end of this month.
The Lufthansa heist.
Big expose about it.
In the paper today.
It's called the Lufthansa heist.
Henry Hill and Daniel Simone wrote it.
Goodfellas rat reveal story behind murderous mob thugs 1979 execution.
Tommy, Tommy Damone.
The character that, obviously, that Pesci played.
Well, this explains all the shit.
You know who really killed him?
According to this book.
And we have no reason to doubt it.
Gotti.
But the reason it wasn't in, again, Wise Guys was based on Nicholas Pelleggi's,
I mean, Goodfellas was based on a book called Wise Guys by Nicholas Pelleggi.
But Henry Hill wouldn't spill the beans about Gotti because Gotti was, you know,
just head of the Gambino
family at the time. So they weren't going to
put that in the movie.
You know?
But it turns out
it turns out that
yeah, a lot of
stuff. Some true and some not. And good
fellas. I'll give you a little rundown.
But Tommy DeSimimoni who's
a by the way in real life the guy that you know the character that pesci played the real life guy
was a big motherfucker he's like 6'4 250 and just the he was crazier than pesci's character they say
there's a picture of him in the paper he He's got a mustache. Just looks like a real fucking badass.
Anyways, he had killed two made guys of the Gambino family,
which is what, you know, Gaudi was a part of, right?
So fucking Gaudi hated this guy and wanted him to go anyways.
But it was crazy because, yeah, so Tommy, all this shit came,
he assaulted Henry Hill's wife, like sexually assaulted her.
Well, Henry was in prison, and it got back to big Paul,
you know, Paul Savino's character, Pauly.
It got back to him.
He was the head of the, you know, at the time, Luchese's, and he was fucking furious because you know him he was the head of the you know at the time lucchesi's and uh he was fucking
furious because you know why he was furious he was uh he was banging karen this is the real life
story this is the shit so uh yeah anyways one of the scenes the billy bats scene right that didn't happen go home and get
your shine box that was all um poetic license as they say in the business that really didn't happen
but um what happened was uh tommy decimone you know crazy tommy the one that pesci played he was in jail
so uh jimmy burke which was jimmy conway played by denaro and tommy the guy played by pesci they
took over the guy's name wasn't billy batts in real life he had a different name but uh
well he was in billy batts was in prison uh tommy and jimmy burke took over his
loan shocking business and they and they and when uh when billy batts got out they didn't want to
give it back to him so they killed him instead jesus christ oh they fucking whacked him instead
so that's that, anyways,
Gaudi,
as far as the Lufthansa heist,
he was going to provide a warehouse,
he had a lot to do with the planning,
and he was going to provide the warehouse,
you know,
where they were going to hide everything,
and he was going to provide the getaway vehicles,
and then crush the vehicles at a scrap metal place, that he owned,
that he controlled or that he
controlled in brooklyn or queens or whatever but uh stacks that part's all true stacks who was good
in real life was good friends with tommy decimony the guy that pesci played um and they made tommy
kill stacks even though and he didn't want to do it. Crazy Tommy was like good friends with Stacks.
But they said if you do it, we'll see that you get made.
So he kills Stacks because Stacks left the truck, as the movie showed you.
In real life, he left it near a fire hydrant for a couple days,
and the cops got involved, and the FBI found it.
So he had to go, and they had Crazy Tommyy do that which holds true in the movie but uh then
they told tommy that he was going to get made and uh when john gaudy heard that that this tommy was
going to get made he was fucking furious because this crazy tommy guy had killed two of two of his
guys made guys so he went to the head of the he went to paulie the guy that played you know
paul savino played god he went to him in real life and said you can't you can't fucking make this guy
i want him fucking whacked and paulie agreed to it because he heard out he heard that tommy was
trying to bang henry hill's girlfriend while paauly was fucking banging Henry Hill's girlfriend.
So he gave Gotti the yes.
So they invited him to a restaurant on Arthur Avenue in the Bronx.
They had tremendous restaurants up there, by the way.
Me and Artie went there before a Yankees game.
I remember I had the veal and the sweet vinegar peppers.
And it was tremendous.
Anyways, this is a ton of restaurant.
But they invited him to some restaurant.
He thought he was going to get made just like the movie.
He goes downstairs and he sees Gotti sitting at the table.
And he was kind of curious because Gotti was a Gambino guy.
What's he doing in a Luchese thing?
And Gotti says, sit down, Tommy.
This is a big night for you.
And Gotti, three seconds after tommy sits
down john gaudy pulls a gun with a silencer out of his breast coat pocket camel hair coat and puts
like three slugs in tommy's head and they said he gets up he adjusts his appell and he walks out
all chest puffed out that's all true but that But that book's, you're telling me this book
isn't going to sell a trillion?
How is this going to miss, right?
Fascinating.
Fascinating shit.
And I can't hear Layla.
I don't know,
it's one of those songs,
I can't hear it anymore
without thinking
of fucking Johnny Roast Beef
and his wife in the pink Cadillac.
Remember the kids playing stickball?
You'd find them fucking dead in the Cadillac.
This song has never,
has never been the same since this came out.
But yeah, that book's out at the end of the month, I think.
The Lufthansa heist.
And again, they wouldn't reveal all that shit.
Well, God, he was alive.
Well, he was still on the streets.
Yeah, we're going to make a movie about you, John.
You don't mind, right?
We're going to fucking tell some of the handy shit you did.
Smart move.
So look for that.
That's going to be fucking tremendous.
You know where I want to go?
I want to go to Antarctica.
You know, at the very bottom of the planet.
Saw a documentary on it last night.
Holy Christ.
That place is like another planet.
This documentary, you might have seen it.
The guy used time- elapsed photography over
like 10 years but just the sky itself you know they have four months of darkness followed by like
four months of uh light and then there's like two months where it's they get both but it's
fucking crazy 220 mile an hour winds they'll have like a a stage five a stage five you know like a hurricane only
with snow they have once a month they have those and like a stage one or two once a week
and the sun you know the sun disappears for four months it's the scariest but he used time-lapse
photography and the shit that goes on in the sky,
the, you know, aurora borealis or whatever, these green lights and shit,
it is unfrigging believable.
I mean, it looks like a depressing yet just, I don't know, magical place.
I would love, maybe spend a couple weeks.
Maybe I'll take the wife there instead of St. Bart's,
see how that sits with her.
But they're talking like 80 80 minus 80 degrees and shit and uh they showed like these structures that they put up you know there's like dormitories that they would live in for a
while well it was you know summertime quote unquote summertime and um in the winter they they move out of them but they open
they they once the storm hit they uh open the door to show you what happens to these structures
and they fill with snow because the wind is so strong all the little crap it's i can't even
describe it the ice and snow somehow as sealed as those rooms are, get filled with snow. Just fucking amazing.
It looks like a different planet.
It is crazy.
And one of the sad things is like these seals, you know, there's obviously seals and all kinds of aquatic life.
They get lost.
Some of them get confused, you know, when the months change and it gets dark and shit. Some of them get
lost and they end up way inland.
You know, they show this poor seal
on his belly, hopping around
and shit. And they can't,
they're told not to touch it, to let
nature take its course.
I guess because you can't bring it all the way back to where
it came from because you could fall through ice and die
yourself. I don't know what the
reason is, but they just have to let him die. So so you see these seals it's like baby seal corpses everywhere and shit
crazy of course the penguins show up every march to get laid it's like a fucking dance club with
them but um yeah uh i think it was just called antarctica it look at the, on Netflix, go to documentaries.
And it was frigging fascinating.
Just fucking fascinating.
And group, you know, they're doing research.
I don't know.
They didn't get too specific what they were doing.
But this big, like, C-17 or C-130.
c17 or uh c130 it was one of those big uh cargo jets that me and arty and uh florentine and the guys flew on over in afghanistan they bring in like a whole bunch of scientists you know like
a couple hundred of them at a time and they dump them off and they they're there for six months
they can't get picked up for six months for some reason because of the weather or whatever so if you're getting sick or something happens to you you're fucked it's really crazy
and uh there's i think as they said during the summertime there's uh
i don't know like 5 000 people on the base there's like bases throughout antarctica across the ice
uh but come wintertime there's like bases throughout Antarctica across the ice. But come wintertime, there's like 700.
Here we go.
Something on my computer.
I was going to fuck up the show.
A new version of DivX software is available.
Yeah, great.
Anyways, watch it if you get a chance.
Either that or Joe joe dirt too i'll actually want to see that too because i love david's bake um
what the hell else in the sports world no let's not get there yet oh uh
Oh, yeah.
I was talking about the homeless guy, and I got off on a rant on the cover of the New York Post,
the guy that's shitting and pissing everywhere.
But Melissa Mag Viverito, she's the city council speaker for New York City.
She doesn't want to, she's trying to decriminalize things like pissing in public and hanging out in parks uh in groups after dark and she's trying to decriminalize all the shit that giuliani
criminalized in bloomberg and um yeah she's undoing all that shit this guy that was uh walking around
with a dirty blanket after i was threatening people with a broken bottle and shit.
But, you know, this is how the libs think.
They don't see anything wrong with that because, again, you know,
it's about getting the vote, isn't it?
And you can't be seen as judging anybody.
But it's just sick what's happening to the city,
these fucking homeless people.
It's happening faster than they said.
And de Blasio's out running around, like, doing shit across the country,
thinking someday he's going to run for president.
You've got to be shitting me.
Guy is fucking lost.
But it's crazy.
You read the paper.
The fucking people getting mugged left and right and assaulted
and homeless people spitting on them and shit.
Just like when I came down here in the nineties, it's,
it's happening so quickly. It's amazing. And then, uh, just before I came on the air here,
Chapo Guzman, Mexican drug cartel. He's the kingpin, right? We, we talked about him on one
of my first podcasts, I believe, cause they, they had just captured him. He was on the run for years. Guess what?
He just broke out again today
or yesterday or whatever.
Maximum security prison,
if there is such a thing in Mexico.
And yeah, he almost pulled a...
I'm wondering if he got the idea
from the guys in upstate New York.
Well, they got the idea from him
because he's done it many times, but, uh, yeah,
tunnel, a tunnel right under his cell. Sure. He had help, but really you wouldn't think
it wouldn't. And the guy, the guy who's the president of Mexico, Nieto, whatever his name
is, when he captioned him, you know him a year or so ago, he said,
well, if he ever gets away again, there's no excuse for it.
Well, guess what?
He's out.
He busted out again.
And I'll give you a little tip, Mexican authorities.
My first place I'd check would be like San Francisco, a sanctuary city.
Because that seems to be where anybody illegal likes to go.
Yeah, that's where I'd check first.
Can you imagine the concept of a sanctuary city, you fucking idiots?
How'd that work out?
Yeah, Trump was so wrong, huh?
You know, I'm not even a big Trump fan, but I'm becoming a big Trump fan
when I see the lack of response from the other Republicans, the chicken shits.
But he couldn't have been that far off with his remarks, now could he?
Because that woman was gunned down in San Francisco, Catherine Steinle, beautiful young lady, walking with her dad in the Embarcadero, which is like a tourist area.
You all heard about it anyways.
So, you know, Trump's not going to fucking back down.
And again, like I said, I was never impressed with his intellect or anything,
but he definitely gets shit done,
which is more you can say for any politician at any level,
state, city, local, feds.
And I love it.
I hope he keeps shooting his mouth off.
He was in like Arizona yesterday.
He had a couple,
he got thousands of people coming out to see him.
He knows what he's doing.
I mean, obviously,
I don't think he's going to get the nomination,
but Jesus Christ,
it'll raise his profile if that's even possible.
He'll get more TV shows,
more book deals.
I hope he stays in it I hope
he stays the fucking we need somebody I
don't care if he's I don't give a shit
and again I'm a fan of the Mexican
people I told you I look at him like
the like Italians at the turn of last
century hard-working religious yeah but
he didn't say that every time I look at
the paper it says trump you know
racist screed against immigrants no he's talking about illegals he was talking about illegals he
didn't he didn't have to say it specifically we knew who he was talking about for christ's sake
so um but like i say anytime you see they put names up of uh people who are fighting for us
you see a lot of latino names people dying over in Afghanistan and Iraq,
and no doubt that there'd be an attribute.
But that's not what we're talking about.
There's a lot of shit coming over the border, too, from Central America.
What do you think?
It's just people coming over that want to work?
Come on, wake the fuck up.
Okay?
He struck a nerve with people.
What, we're all wrong give me a break i hope he stays
in just to make the other guys just so you can see the phoniness of everybody else i was wholly
offended by their of course jeb has to say that he's got a mexican wife but you know
you can't tell me it's not a legitimate problem, okay?
And don't start yelling racism.
And if you do, that means you've lost the fucking argument.
The statistics are there.
Do you know what percentage of federal prisoners are illegals?
How about 37%?
Are you shitting me?
That's unbelievable.
And that's who leaves.
Uneducated people that come over there for a better life.
It's not the people who are doing well in Mexico, obviously.
So he was fucking right.
He could have been much more artful, yes, with his words.
But don't act like he was way out of line.
You know who you are.
So keep going, Donald. keep laying that shit it's
just refreshing to hear because i heard there's a few there's a you know i think it was peggy
noonan had an article saying even a few of her lib friends actually find donald refreshing well
maybe not libs but dems um here's here's a story that maybe you you know, I don't want to shit.
This is the headline.
Offended flea market shopper calls 911, I should say 9-1-1, over Confederate merchandise.
A shopper perusing the merchandise at the Redwood Country Flea Market was so offended by a vendor selling confederate nazi historical memorabilia
the person actually called 9-1-1 oh my god jesus christ
why aren't more people in territory like me the police chief william wright tells news 8 the reason
no one was arrested was because the items were being sold on private property.
That means somebody actually had to ask the chief this question.
How come nobody was arrested?
That's how fucking stupid the journalists are.
Not to mention no laws were broken.
There was a table set up with this material, Police Chief Wright says.
Imagine they send the police chief a...
It's not criminally illegal but obviously it offended
this person it causes some people a sense of being uncomfortable can you imagine you that cops have
to even explain this now this is where we are certainly the owner could preclude this merchandise
so he's really this and here's what's. This is the state of Connecticut, by the way.
Okay, he's almost siding with the person who made the 911 call.
Certainly the owner could preclude this merchandise.
Why the fuck, why would he do that?
If it's fucking, because it's making somebody uncomfortable?
You know what makes me uncomfortable?
The New York Yankees hat.
Because every time I look in the police blotter,
there's always criminals who have raped and mugged wearing Yankees hats.
Nine out of ten of them have a Yankees hat on.
That makes me uncomfortable.
Let's get rid of that symbol.
Why don't we try that?
A lot of white people have been victim of that hat.
The town resident who called 911
said there were helmets and swastikas,
images of Hitler and other historical Nazi items.
I was shaking.
This is quote.
I was shaking and almost vomiting, he tells the paper.
I'm fucking.
I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in.
Oh, God.
I was shaking and almost vomiting.
I had to run.
My grandmother had numbers.
Yeah, so did mine. She had to run. My grandmother had numbers. Yeah, so did mine.
She used to run them.
I used to bring back the bag.
417, Nicky,
referring to the digits
the Nazis would tattoo on prisoners.
Okay.
The caller complained
that the Confederate items
were not authentic
and were replicas of flags and weapons.
Now, is he complaining because he wanted the real thing that this guy's just perpetuating?
And by the way, taking down that flag is going to do fucking nothing.
Symbolism over substance.
And if you know the history of flag, it isn't all about slavery as much as you want to make it.
It isn't.
But anyways, so let's take on, you want to make it. It isn't.
But anyways, so let's take out, you know, Jefferson Davis. Let's tear down those statues.
And, yeah, let's just scrub everything from the past so we can make a certain segment more comfortable.
I actually saw a black gentleman on TV who grew up down south defending the flag.
So, and I told you
in a poll, and again, I don't know,
it doesn't affect me the fucking way, but they're making
her out Nikki Haley to be such a hero.
It took a lot of courage to take that
down. Yeah, because a white psycho
who was holding it up in his pictures,
I mean, I don't understand
why that flag,
how come it was alright to fly it
for so long?
They were just looking for the perfect excuse,
don't you see?
And it was a blonde-haired,
blue-eyed kid,
psychopath.
Perfect excuse to take it down.
God, help us.
How much time do we spend
on this shit?
Anyways, listen to this, though,
about this story
at the flea market
in Connecticut.
Jason Teal, president of the Meriden Wallingford NAACP, was contacted to see what he thought.
Jesus Christ.
Why?
He said, at least he made some sense, it's difficult because it's on private property and it's considered free speech.
It's difficult because it's on private property and it's considered free speech.
Listen to this.
According to the paper, the complainant, also called Mayor William Dickinson Jr., who promptly called Chief Wright.
You know what the mayor should have said?
Hey, fuck off.
It's on private property, you fucking whining maggot. Some shit's going to make you feel bad, okay? But
no, the mayor calls the chief of police. That's his first call. Instead of just telling the
guy to fuck off, you know, in a nicer way, obviously. Oh my God. And the assistant regional director of the Anti-Defamation League in Connecticut
sees a difference between authentic memorabilia and cheap replicas used as a symbol of hate.
It's unfortunate that under the law, people have the right to sell these things.
Imagine, he thinks it's unfortunate people have the right to sell.
But it doesn't mean they should sell these things, says Joshua Sales.
It's not a crime, but I would call it hate.
Would you?
Well, you'd be fucking wrong.
Oh, my God.
The guy's...
Who decides what's hate and what's not?
I love it.
Anything that fucking offends liberal sensibilities is hate.
I don't know.
I'm trying to think of a case on the right where people on the right are whining.
Oh, my God.
Does it ever end, folks?
Every time I reach it like this,
I think of that guy saying to me
after my third open mic in 1987, 88,
hey, you're politically incorrect.
That's the wave of the future.
Imagine we've only been going backwards since...
That's the wave of the future.
Imagine we've only been going backwards since.
That is just fucking crazy.
Sports, quickly, because I know, again, I don't know when you listen to these,
if you listen to them in order, but the Yankees came in,
cooled down the Red Hot Red Sox,
took two out of three from the Sox.
I think the Sox are now, I don't know, five and a half back,
going into the All-Star break, six and a half, I'm not sure.
I think it's five and a half, isn't it?
Anyways, Yankees are just a better team right now, I'll tell you that much.
Sox might have to make some big moves So that was kind of depressing
Goddamn A-Rod's playing like he's 18
He comes up
It's just funny
Comes up to bat and fan wages
40,000 people
Bowing the shit out of him
Fucking hits a home run
Does it the first night
Does it the second night
It's one in the gap
Giving his bat and glove to little kids It's like he's running for fucking governor. It's one in the gap.
Giving his bat and glove to little kids.
It's like he's running
for fucking governor now.
It's crazy.
I thought all you Yankees fans
hated his guts.
Guess not, huh?
As long as you're winning.
I never had a problem
with a guy,
got to be honest with you.
Yeah, he's juicing.
So is the rest of the league.
What the hell else yeah so
it's finally the all-star break
and again
we had no war
David Ortiz today was sick
better be something serious
some
type of blood disease
for him to be out against the Yankees
it was kind of an important game
even if it was just symbolic
and we had no Pedroia
so
I'm not worried.
I still, again, four and a half, five and a half, whatever.
At the all-star break, plenty of time.
We've got to pick up some pitching, though.
How they let Lester go and Andrew Miller as a Yankee,
I still can't fucking, can't, I just can't believe that.
But, and football knows. I just can't believe that.
In football news, let's go to Jason Pierre Paul's house.
For Fourth of July, there was some audio. Oh.
Charlie!
Wait a minute! Charlie! Charlie!
That's Charlie Hedgen, the trainer.
Charlie!
That's Charlie Hedgen, the trainer.
Eric Roberts, Pope of Greenwich Village.
Hey, yeah, so he lost his index finger, and I guess his thumb's broken.
That's what they said, but they lost the right index finger. Is that it?
Sorry for laughing.
Oh, my God.
You Giants fans.
Got to be laughing at this.
I don't see how it's going to... He's still...
You see guys playing with casts on their hands in clubs.
Ever see when they have their hands wrapped up?
And they're still making tackles and shit.
Guy's cock is probably long enough.
Cut eight inches off that
and make him an index finger.
He's 6'6", 280.
I'm sure he's got more to spare down there.
Make a thumb and a forefinger out of it.
And a ring finger.
But, uh,
and everybody's giving him shit.
I don't understand.
This shit happens.
You know,
he was lighting off fireworks for his kids and whatnot, but everybody's calling him shit. I don't understand. This shit happens. You know, he was lighting off fireworks for his kids and whatnot,
but everybody's calling him immature and shit.
Isn't he in his 20s or whatever?
I mean, this is shit you do.
No, I'm not going to handle fireworks because I'm a pro football player.
You don't think this shit's going to happen?
Give me a fucking break.
Even I'm cutting the guy slack.
Come on. We have all kinds of technology. We can make him better. give me a fucking break, keeping, I'm cutting the guy slack, come on,
we have all kinds of technology,
we can make him better,
give him four thumbs,
and three fucking forefingers,
be sacking the shit out of,
imagine if it was Eli,
it would have been funny,
if it was Eli Manning,
or something,
then there's just no,
there's no doubt about it,
and then you can,
you just have to go to his house,
and go, we can't use you,
how are you going to throw?
So that was that.
I don't know, man.
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people interrogating, like me?
I don't know.
I really don't.
Well, kids, it's about it.
That's about it.
Got a big week coming up.
Go to the premiere.
Go to nickdip.com.
Come on.
Get another census killing.
I need some help here.
It's going in and out of the charts.
For the first five months, it was up there every day.
Now it's popping in and out.
We got to keep it up there.
Come to see me this Saturday night.
Ridgefield Playhouse.
Ridgefield, Connecticut.
I've been plugging this shit forever.
I know.
I was on, you know, at Opie and Jimmy last week.
That was fun.
Lead singer from Slipknot was there.
Corey, whatever.
And you know who?
Amy Winehouse.
The guy who used to manage her
and the director of the new documentary that's coming out,
a new movie about Amy Winehouse,
and Opie had seen it and said it was amazing.
I don't know.
Again, I'm not a giant music fan,
but I know she was talented and a little fucked up,
but again, I like documentaries.
I can't go to anything else.
Everything else is liberal horseshit.
Let's watch Jennifer Aniston in a romantic comedy with Paul Rudd.
I'll just take a shit in my kitchen sink.
Thank you.
So, and then, yeah.
What the hell?
Thursday night. Oh? Thursday night.
Oh, Thursday night.
I might pop in and do a set at Caroline's
because I want to get this set together
for Saturday night
at Ridgefield.
So I might make a surprise appearance
Thursday night at Caroline's
if you're in the area
and you're not being raped
by a third world immigrant
or by somebody dressed like
fucking Bugs Bunny or Ernie
and Bert. A lot of
that shit happens on that street. Come down to Caroline's.
I'm going to pop in and do
a guest set.
And then Sunday I'll take
off to LA. I'm doing
I think Rogan's podcast
I want to say on Wednesday the 22nd.
I'm going to do Fitzsimmons and Corolla on Monday the 20th.
And a couple other while I'm out there.
That's it, kids.
That's all I got.
But you take care of yourselves.
We'll see you next time, y'all. And make out a smile Though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people in town?
Cause I'm not like everybody else
No, no
I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else. I'm not like everybody else.
I'm not like everybody else.
Good day, boys and girls and everything in between.
Talk to you next time. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.