The Nick DiPaolo Show - 115 - Militia in Oregon, Legal Discrimination, Oscars Colorized
Episode Date: January 4, 2016Militia in Oregon, Legal Discrimination, Oscars Colorized...
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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. hey happy 2016
ah that's a nice number because that means stupid in chief is almost finished
it feels like to people on my side of the uh political spectrum feels like two decades
i'm sure it felt the same when uh george w was in office for you guys
but uh this guy makes him look like a genius let's be honest really nick i can't you can't
you can't be serious shut up that serious hey how to get off of the 2016 on a positive uh foot first of all
thanks again contribution wise uh jonathan keller again has thrown into the pot thank you jonathan
michael uh kick him very nice contribution i'm gonna call you mickey mike mick michael kick him
that's a good name.
Thanks a lot, man.
That was very generous of you.
And Pauly Frederick, once again, this guy,
he's keeping the show alive on its, by himself.
I'd love to know what this guy does.
Maybe a drug cartel.
But thank you guys so much.
And let's keep it going, huh?
Let's keep it going huh let's keep it going come see me this weekend too at levity live in west niac new york friday saturday and sunday if you're in the area the tri-state area it'll be worth the ride in i'm
i'm pent up i haven't been on stage in a while it's gonna you know i feel a good one coming on
a real like a real dump if you constipated for a week.
Should be beautiful.
Thank you guys so much.
Let's get to it, huh?
What do we do first?
Yeah, let's start off with sad news.
Natalie Cole.
These are the people we lost since I talked to you last.
But a little soft spot because this song was really popular when I had my first girlfriend.
This came out in 75 and, you know, me in the back of my, well, I was only 13, but, you know, I'd get in the car.
I wouldn't drive it, but sneak the girl over.
Anyway, she died 65 years old, too young.
Nat King Cole's daughter.
And if you don't know her for that song, you definitely know her.
The duet she did with her dad.
They spliced his voice in after he was gone.
Sold like 14 million copies and won all kinds of Grammys.
Tough lady, man.
She was a heroin addict, crackhead, and she kicked all that shit, but she blew out her
organs in the meantime.
Had to have a kidney transplant.
And she'd do dialysis while she was on the road traveling.
I mean, that is dedicated.
That's a tough, tough lady.
Anyways.
Like a song of love that clings to me.
Who else?
How the thought of you does things.
Also.
Have someone in your life. A little rusty over the break
trapper john wayne rogers passed away 82 i believe but tell you when i was at the university
of maine and i think the mash came on at seven o'clock. From 7 to 8, that campus
of 12,000 people
was silent. You could hear this coming out
of everybody's dorm room.
It was huge.
Early
80s. But Wayne
Rogers had a lot of dough, became an investor.
He was on Fox Business News
a lot.
Another guy went to Princeton?
And, yeah, went to Princeton.
Smart guy.
And eventually replaced by Chuck Farrell.
I don't know Farrell's first name.
It's probably wrong.
Big lib.
But anyways, he played Trapper John, and him and Alan Aldo, the funniest.
I think he was there for the first three seasons.
And then they said because it started to focus a lot of the episodes on Alan Aldo's character,
that Wayne Rogers' nose got a little bent out of joint.
Who knows if that's true or not.
But he left the show after three seasons, which was a huge mistake because that show went on to be as big as anything.
Everybody hit television.
And anyways, rest in peace, both of you.
Real quick, let's get through over the weekend.
And you guys at college, well, you're football fans like I am,
and the bowl games really stunk i gotta be honest
with you there was only a couple of close ones but the major ones the ones that the matchups
that look great on paper really uh like the rose bowl stanford and iowa stanford just kicked the
shit out of iowa and uh this kid christian maffrey, white running back.
He was almost nominated for the Heisman.
I don't think he did this year, but he's a sophomore.
This kid is his, you know, why is that important?
Let's be honest.
It's not important, but he's white, and he's a kid that's unbelievable.
I mean, he literally reminds me of Gale Sayers.
He can cut without slowing down.
He set a
Rose Bowl record with all
purpose yards. I don't know,
380, 370 something.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable. I cannot wait to see what
this kid does if he stays healthy.
But it is funny to see a white guy leaving
black guys in the dust on a football
field. This kid is incredible.
I hadn't seen enough of him, you know.
But, you know, you heard about him throughout the anyways.
Stanford blew them out.
But in the big games like Cotton Bowl, Alabama, Michigan State, Alabama once again.
SEC just takes apart a Big Ten team.
38-0.
Dismantled Michigan State, who was a great football team.
And Orange Bowl, Oklahoma got their clocks cleaned by Clemson,
who was number one in the nation.
Again, that was supposed to be a great matchup.
Wasn't much of a matchup.
But that leaves Alabama and Clemson.
Clemson number one, Alabama number two.
Meeting for the national title, which is the way it should be.
That should be a frigging doozy.
Ohio State kicked the shit out of Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl.
The best game, the best game, TCU-Oregon.
TCU-Oregon, unbelievable.
TCU's down 31 to nothing at halftime in the Alamo Bowl comes back and wins
in triple overtime 47-41 and they were playing without their starting quarterback Boykin
Trevon Boykin because he punched a bike cop in the face in San Antonio a couple days before the game
which is a good career move nice Nice going, stupid. Anyways, the backup quarterback, Bram Kohlhausen, was unbelievable.
He's going to go down in folklore for the game he played.
Tough as nails, stand in the pocket passer, can run.
And that was an incredible, incredible,
that was the best game of the thousand bowl games.
Anyways, and West Virginia and the Cactus Bowl,
43 to 42 over Arizona State.
That was an unbelievably fun one to watch.
And you guys are like, okay, who gives a fuck?
I do.
I give a fuck.
That's who.
That's who.
And quickly, NFL Patriots took a big runny dump.
I don't give a shit.
They're not healthy.
But, again, even a fourth-string Patriots team should big runny dump. I don't give a shit. They're not healthy. But again, even a
fourth string Patriots team should beat a Miami team who outright stinks. But they laid a big egg
and they almost lost Brady. That fucking Nadarmik and Sue, that dirty MF-er, who I love, by the way.
If I started a team, I'd start with him. But he fucking rolled up on the back of Brady's leg.
Didn't roll up. He threw himself. I thought he blew both Brady's knees up.
And just a fucking dirty play.
No doubt about it.
And the refs don't even mention it.
The fucking announcers don't.
Oh, he kind of fell on him.
No, he went right after him.
Like he doesn't have a reputation.
And then another guy did a couple minutes later.
Went after Brady's knee.
The Dolphins had a real chip on their shoulder.
But anyways, Patriots took a big runny dump.
And what happens? They could have been number one seed throughout the playoffs. No. They lose to shitty Dolphins had a real chip on their shoulder. But anyways, Patriots took a big, runny dump. And what happens?
They could have been number one seed throughout the playoffs.
No, they lose to shitty Dolphins.
And Peyton Manning comes off the bench and pulls it out for Denver against the Chargers.
And so now Denver's the number one seed.
And it looks like we'll have to go to Denver if we can get through, if we get healthy.
Which the Pats, I think, are going can get through, if we get healthy, which the
Pats, I think, are going to get much more healthy once they get Edelman back.
But they're missing the offensive line stinks because it's all fill-ins.
And that's not going to, I don't think that's going to change.
So anyways, that's enough sports.
Fuck it.
We're not here to talk about that.
We're here to fucking cause tension.
Not cause tension, but report shit that causes tension
which is usually race related in this country and uh
but here's let's start before well this is kind of race related how about uh this armed group
they could be calling a militia but i don't think they're really militia but uh anti-government
protesters have taken over a building uh in a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon.
Accusing officials of unfairly punishing ranchers who refuse to sell their land.
And one of them is Eamon Bundy.
He's the 40-year-old son of Cliven Bundy.
Remember Cliven Bundy?
Last year he had a showdown in texas uh about cattle and shit like that remember they showed up armed and and the fed showed up
and my buddy who i had on the show a few weeks prior the cop from miami sergeant zook said that
was the closest he said if anybody took a shot that would have tipped off like
fucking next civil war in this country and and so anyways so it's uh clive and son amen anyways um it's a federal uh it's federal lands but what tipped it
off it by the way it's called malheur national wildlife or malheur National Wildlife Refuge right outside of Burns.
These protests are demonstrating in support of Dwight and Stephen Hammond,
their father and son ranches who were convicted of arson.
The feds are saying Hammond set a fire that burned about 130 acres in 2001 to cover up poaching.
They were sentenced to five years in prison.
The Hammonds said they set the fire to reduce the growth of invasive plants
and to protect their property from wildfires.
I don't know about that either.
Who knows what really fucking happened.
But according to, you know,
Bundy and the rest of these protesters,
the federal government is kicking ranchers off their land
and, you know, and just taking over and literally putting them out of, taking away their living.
They say it's happened to over 90 or 100 ranchers in the area,
and this has been going on for years.
So they're saying enough is enough.
But the Hammonds have been clear they don't want help from the Bundy Group.
That's according to the Hammonds lawyer.
I don't know if that's true or not.
But here is Mr. Bundy speaking to reporters,
and they're asking him why he's doing this.
Taking over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.
And this will become a base place for patriots from all over the country
to come and to be housed here and live
here. And we're planning on staying here
for several years.
By the way, it's a vacated
building that they took over.
And they don't plan on leaving
anytime soon. Here, what we're going to be doing
is we're going to be freeing these lands up and
getting the ranchers back to ranching,
getting the miners back to mining, getting the
loggers back to logging,
and where they can do it under the protection of the people
and not be afraid of this tyranny that's going to come upon them.
And what will happen is Harney County will begin to thrive again.
And one time they were the wealthiest county in the state.
Now they're the poorest county.
And we will reverse that in just a few years
by freeing up their land and resources.
And we're doing this for the people.
Fuck the government.
We're doing this so the people can have their lands and their resources back where they belong.
And it's really that simple.
But we're the point of the spear that's going to bring confidence and strength to the rest of the people.
And we're calling people to come out here and stand.
And it's really that simple.
We have a place for you now. We have a place for you now.
We have a place for you to come.
We have a place for you to stay warm.
We have food planned and prepared.
We need you to bring your arms,
and we need you to come to the National Wildlife Refuge.
I find it refreshing.
Hey, who knows the whole truth?
But you can't argue that the government's not becoming a little tyrannical.
And, you know, in your face at every turn,
whether it's telling you what kind of fucking toilets to buy
or light bulbs or whatever.
Yay for the fucking, yay for somebody taking a stand.
Yeah, but are you really going to take on the U on the u.s government i mean with all their weapons and
shit yeah what do you think the fucking argument was back in it's the same mentality would you
really take on england it's the whole it's it's good it's what this country was founded on yay
yay for these people take a stand being taxed up the ass forcing forcing people off their land. You can look that up. That's not,
they're not making that shit up.
You know?
I mean, come on.
He's the, you know,
well, he reminds me of this guy.
And I see a whole army of my countrymen
here in defiance of tyranny.
You've come to fight as three men.
And three men you are.
What will you do without freedom?
Will you fight?
Fight? Against that? No!
We will run!
And we will live. We will run and we will live.
You'll live. many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that
for one chance,
just one chance,
to come back here
and tell our elders
that they may take our lives,
but they'll never take
our freedom!
That speech,
speech still gives me a heart, huh?
Yes, that was Mel Gibson of Braveheart, who has a lot in common with Mr. Bundy.
Not a big fan of, you know, certain people and things.
Ah, love it.
Anyways, the old man was Clive bundy i told you he's the one he took on the federal
authorities over a bureau of land management dispute something to do with grain paying for
grain fees and uh in protest protests he wasn't paying his fees so they try to kick him off the
land and next thing you know a bunch of his pals showed up with guns and had a face-off with the feds. I think it was 2014.
Anyways, of course, the feds have a different view.
Acting U.S. Attorney Billy J. Williams.
Five years ago, a federal jury charged White and Steve Hammond with committing arson on public lands and endangering fire.
What they were doing, witnesses saw them shoot like six or seven deer.
They were like poaching, supposedly.
And the feds are saying to hide that, they lit the fields on fire
and charged them with public arson, endangering firefighters.
And then Steve Hammond was found guilty of committing a second arson in 2006.
They had illegally slaughtered a herd of deer on public land.
And at least seven deer were shot, I guess witnesses say.
And a teenage relative of the Hammonds testified that Steve Hammond gave him a box of matches,
told him to start the blaze. The fire destroyed evidence of the deer slaughter and took about 130 acres
of public land out of public use for two years. That's what they were being charged with.
That's what the government says. And they're saying they're full of shit. Anyways, and
then Bundy gets involved. So, yeah, good for them. Fuck the government. Get out of our faces. Get rid of the IRS.
Get stupid out of office.
And let's clean it up.
Are you really?
Yeah, I am.
Yeah, I am.
Anyways.
Anyways.
And then, what the hell else is going on?
Oh, Black Lives Matter.
Once again, they were...
Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter!
Can't do a show without them. Sorry.
The computer's acting a little weird today.
Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter!
Black Lives...
Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, sh...
Shut up! Shut up! shut up shut shut shut shut shut up shut up please they were in chicago fucking up a brunch people just did you see the clip on just uh but you know because of another shooting by a cop
blah blah blah i think it was the kid with the pellet gun i can't keep them straight
but it's not because
there's so many of them then let's keep that myth alive again it's uh the statistics don't show that
but uh what was funny about the clip was they're in the it's a restaurant and people just don't
have bread and there was one guy right in the middle white guy just eating away like it wasn't
even phasing him i'm sitting there going well he's from chicago so either he's really pissed and sick of this and that's why he's just ignoring him or he probably agrees
with uh with the black alive mad as people that were fucking up his breakfast and he just
it didn't bother him at all that day but he was just shoveling his face it really was fucking
cracking me up you can find it online somewhere but um it's just, will they ever go away?
For Christ's sake.
But again, let me rehash statistics again.
White cops shooting unarmed black men account for less than 4% of fatal police shootings.
Less than 4%.
In three quarters of the incidents, cops were either under attack themselves
or defending civilians.
The majority of those killed
were brandishing weapons,
suicidal or mentally troubled,
or bolted when they were told
to stand down or surrender.
And you're going,
well, you just said, Nick,
you weren't for,
you're against government,
but, but, but, but, but, but,
no, this is what government,
the only thing the government should do is protect us, including the cops. That's all we need them for, Well, you just said, Nick, you weren't for it. You're against government. But, no, this is what government's,
the only thing the government should do is protect us,
including the cops.
That's all we need them for, the shit that we can't do.
Nearly a third of police shootings resulted from car chases that began with a minor traffic stop.
By the way, this is based on 965 people
that were killed by police.
I repeat that.
965 people as of December 4th were killed by police.
Less than 4% were white cops shooting unarmed black men.
Okay?
So you can scream and yell all you want, the truth's gonna win out you're just gonna cause
a lot of fucking havoc though uh since the population this i like this article it puts
it in perspective is uh of the u.s is about 318 million people a thousand deaths at the hands of
police works out to one in 318 000 you got a better chance of being killed in a violent storm,
which is 1 in 68,000,
or slipping in a tub,
which is 1 in 11,500.
Nobody's out there shouting about getting rid of tubs.
Oh, a few people.
A few of my fat, dirty friends.
But even those figures are deceptive.
Of the 965 killed, only 90 were unarmed of the almost thousand people and the majority of those were white people so you fight the facts and
figures don't fucking lie so ruin all the brunches you want fuck up all the college campuses you want
and uh you're gonna have a certain part of the popular well a big part of the population buying into it because of the fucking media which is just hell-bent on saying that this country is
fucking racist and they cherry-pick the stories imagine if they cherry-pick the store imagine if
there was equal coverage of every time cops helped minorities in the projects and how many cops got
shot and every time if a cop got shot or put his life on the line, that that was the story for the next two weeks.
Can you imagine?
That would be called perspective.
And we wouldn't have all this racial tension.
But because of the cocksucker left-wing media
cherry-picking these fucking stories
and just blowing it out of proportion
and just reporting one side of the story,
yeah, the lie becomes real
to dummies who don't want to read into it
so uh it's just total bullshit but they still you know the killer cop narrative isn't going to go
away and then you get the washington post which is you know wacky fucking left paper
they uh they throw fuel on the fire
with headlines like this.
Although black men make up
only 6% of the population,
they account for 40%
of the unarmed men
shot to death by police this year.
Of course, that ignores the fact
that black violent crime rates
are far higher than white ones.
Here's a statistic
that sort of puts it in perspective.
Since 1980 to 2008, that's 28 years,
pretty good sample size, wouldn't you say?
According to the Department of Justice,
yeah, but those are white man statistics.
Yeah, okay.
Blacks committed 52.5% of the murders in America
from 1980 to 2008.
More than half of the murders.
While they only represent 12.6% of the population.
See, if the media gave equal time to those statistics,
shitheads at home and people in L.A. and the fucking dummies,
you know, even then they would probably ignore it
because it doesn't fit their narrative.
So maybe it doesn't matter.
But the cops, they're all scumbag cops nobody's saying that there's not and um you know remember the guy that walter scott
in south carolina they remember the guy he was fleeing and the black guy was fleeing and the
white cop shot him uh after a routine traffic stop that guy's gonna be uh he's gonna rot in a jail the point is the system works not all the
time but it's simple it's numbers okay most of the crimes going on in black neighborhoods so that's
where cops of all colors are going to be so there are going to be incidents and there are going to
be cops who make mistakes and there are scumbag cops okay but but less than four percent it's it's it's not an epidemic so stop
so uh and and and that scumbag uh van dyke was that his name the kid that the guy that shot the
16 year old remember there was footage of that the one in chicago he's gonna he's he's fucking
finished i'll bet you a zillion dollars he's gonna rot in jail like
he should for the rest of his life you don't know all the fat yeah we do saw it on the video and um
but the you know the washington post they just feed the fire they don't mention like uh west
garfield park in Chicago.
That's where there's more gangs than anywhere in the country.
They have a murder rate of 116.7 per 100,000.
That's more than murder capitals like Honduras, which is at 90.4.
But again, if they put
you know
you're not gonna hear
those statistics
anyway
it's just so
I can't help it
I watch the fucking news
I can't get away from it
I was
going through the internet
and there's a little,
Oh,
a little controversy gone for bid.
There's a billboard somewhere in Utah,
West Valley city,
Utah.
It's a billboard along the highway state route two Oh one and West Valley
city.
And it's an ad for a dating website.
And the,
and the billboards is where white people meet.
That's their big ad.
And that's controversial, even though there's all kinds of websites that are, you know, exclusively for all different ethnicities.
When it's white people, somehow.
Let me just help you people out. this is a predominantly white country still so when the numbers don't match up and i'm going
to get into a few stories where obama and his bean counting um it's like it's like me moving to uh
nigeria and going why is everybody black on the magazine? They have magazines. Why is everybody black on television in Nigeria?
I mean, but anyways, yeah, it's where white people meet.
Why should anybody even blanket that twice unless you're fucking brain dead
and bought into this PC cockapoo poo?
And, of course, the interview,
the local nose has to interview, again, Kim Gilbert.
I just don't think it's the way to teach our kids
to love all when you see billboards like that.
Michelle DeSau says,
she thinks the billboard represents exclusionary views.
I think women are much more susceptible to this PC shit.
That's sexist, Nick.
Yeah, I know.
Good.
Call the fucking cops.
I just feel we should be past the whole mindset of staying within our own race and segregation pretty much.
That's what Michelle said.
And then Kayla Lemon said she's opposed to the idea of dating sites aimed at a single race.
Okay.
Well, I don't hear it. Were you speaking up about the ones that cater to black people solely?
Or Asians? Or West Africans? Or Indians?
No, you didn't fucking, oh, that's because they didn't do a story on them.
Oh, okay.
I have a lot of friends who are biracial couples, and they're in love and they're happy, she said.
This is Kayla.
I don't think we should have a dating site with only one race.
I think it excludes someone who could be your soulmate and is a different color than you.
Listen to the brainwashing, the just reflexive political correctness, the dummying down.
If these broads looked a little further into it, they'd find out that this website doesn't
exclude anybody by color. And I love it because the website put out a statement
answering people like this.
And they say, this is from the website,
I'm sure some of you are wondering about the concept
and the need for a dating website titled
wherewhitepeoplemeet.com.
Our answer to that would be why not there's various dating
websites that promote and cater just about every origin race religion and lifestyle so
again why not where white people meet.com the question naturally arises can anyone join the
answer to that is yes as long as you're 18 years of age and you agree to abide by the rules and
the regulations set forth for all members to follow.
So, girls, don't get your dirty panties in a bunch.
If you looked into it a little further, instead of just having that dumb knee-jerk reaction,
you'd see.
Here at whitepeoplemeet.com, we believe in the concept that all people have the right
to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Now, why are you trying to meet somebody?
Stay single, get out there, and bang all that shit. That's how you pursue happiness. I'm speaking from experience. You know, I'm semi-happy, but let's be honest.
When I was saying, anyways, we also believe that the finding your perfect partner, your soulmate,
is one of the best ways as humans to obtain happiness. Furthermore, we believe that all men are created equal.
Boy, they really laid it on heavy.
You see what they, this is what they have to put out.
Just because they fucking have a website where white people can be.
By the way, furthermore, we believe that all men are created equal.
And then parentheses there.
Boy, it says the word men stands for a species, not a gender.
Can you imagine all the explaining you have to do?
I fucking hate the times we're living in.
I really fucking do.
And my act right now isn't even representative of how angry I am.
And I can't wait.
I'm going to put this out of bed, I'd say, by the middle of this year.
And no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Maybe I'll start it like in March.
I'm fucking done. I'm through through i'm tired of getting on planes anyways we'll get to that in a few seconds i'll give
him a reason to kick me out of this fucking business if this show isn't enough we sincerely
hope this is the website again that you decide to join today there's hundreds of dating websites
to choose from so please join ours if it fits your preferences and helps bring your ideal soulmate that much closer.
And let's be honest.
If you're a white person, your soulmate probably will be white.
Or if you're a black person, your soulmate probably will be black.
How can you say that, Nick?
It's about the soul.
The soul has no color.
Bullshit.
My heart is as black as a deskum sitting on as I do the show in a tight pair of red shorts.
What?
So, by the way, where white people meet, to date,
yeah, any color can join the website and meet this soulmate.
What movie was it when the guy gave him a weird white pussy hat?
I couldn't find that clip.
We used to play it on Nick and Artie, didn't we?
One of those shows.
Anyways, see, but so all your fear is put to rest.
Let's lighten it up a little.
Anybody see, again, this happened a couple weeks ago,
or maybe a week and a half, two weeks, I don't know.
But do you guys, did you see President Obama, who i guess feels he hasn't been on tv enough do the uh you know comedians getting
coffee which i thought was good because he really is a comedian he sure in hell ain't a president
but with jerry seinfeld the one lib that uh who i know jerry a little bit you know
i go through colin and you know for thear and I've been to his house and I like him.
He's prickly.
He's prickly.
He's very liberal, but he doesn't throw common sense out there.
Anyways, he had the president on his, you know, comedians getting coffee.
Did you see it?
I'll play a couple clips.
It really shows Obama, though how much he like kind of thinks
of himself but i'd look i'll say it is definitely the funniest of he's just it's you know he's he's
good with these things with those correspondence dinners and shit he just had a delivery joke and
he's got a smooth delivery and um but
you know i really do think he's in love with himself a little bit but but again almost likable
that's right i just said it you know it's the politics that fucking the shit that he's doing
and i'll get to it in a few minutes to reverse everything that made this country great and by
that i mean lowering standards and just being focused on diversity instead of merit.
And that's how this country get great.
I don't give a fuck what you say.
But Jerry Seinfeld went to the White House, picked him up in like a, I don't know, 65 Corvette or something.
And they had some funny little exchanges.
And it's funny.
Jerry seemed actually like a little nervous at the beginning.
And Obama's like, what, this is more pressure than doing like Letterman or Leno?
And, you know, Jerry's like, absolutely.
They just started.
But there was some funny little exchanges.
But there was some funny little exchanges.
Jerry asked him about what he does to get ready for the day in the morning,
and they were talking about shaving.
Get out of bed.
Brush my teeth, shave, put on some workout clothes.
I go up, work out.
Shave, then work out.
Yeah, I believe in shaving before the workout.
Okay.
Because that's how I do it, and I don't really need a reason.
I see.
Okay, tell me that's not an executive order mindset.
That's how he governs.
I don't really need a reason.
I'm the fucking king and dictator, and I'll do it the way I want. That's the most honest I ever heard the guy. He goes, let's be honest. I don't need a reason. It doesn't show too much smarts. Everybody knows you don't shave before you work. You shave
right after you get out of the shower. Unless he doesn't shower after he's done working out,
which I think he does. As Joe Biden said, he's very clean and articulate.
out which i think he does as joe biden said he's very clean and articulate that one even got me
that was a good one nick god damn right it was
um but i love it he goes i really don't need a reason to yeah that's exactly how he governs
um don't need a reason to yeah that's exactly how he governs um and then they were talking about uh
laying out his clothes and picking out suits and again he refers to himself as oh listen in
well with the suit i only have blue and and gray suits right no black i have one black suit black's too rough for a president. You got to soften it a little.
Well, but I'm a cool president.
Right, that's true.
I'm a cool president.
Again, yes, self-deprecating, but I know damn well part of him means, and he is, out of all, come on.
He is.
I mean, just a horrible president, but he's definitely the coolest.
Definitely the worst.
But definitely the coolest definitely the worst but definitely the coolest and uh dare i say very likable and it's that charm that fooled all the stupid white libs i mean we all know why black people voted for him and they come i don't say
because he was black which is fine which is that fine but But you dummies fell for his charming horseshit.
Unbelievable.
Oh, goodness.
But Seinfeld, what a life he's living, huh?
My God.
It was funny at the beginning, they show Obama like in the Oval Office.
And Jerry tapping on the window behind him and as far as
you know this this controversy uh um even david spade said it i guess in a tweet that you know
he thinks it's below the president i guess he was on that show with that outdoor guy on a and e
grillis whatever the bear grillis whatever the fuck his name is and uh i don't buy any of that
it's you know beneath the presidency and blah blah blah no it ain't because he works for us
he's below us i know that that concept has gotten lost but he's one of us so i don't believe that
going on the tonight show and he shows you know know, is beneath the office and horseshit.
I don't believe that at all.
He's one of us.
He works for us, so he really is below us.
I know that's a concept that's very hard to grasp,
especially the way he governs.
I don't like that.
Executive order, bang.
Wiping his ass with the Constitution.
The media applauding while he does it.
But I don't buy any of that shit shit i'm sort of with him on that you know if he wanted to go on uh i don't know the kardashians
you know that would be fucking hilarious
uh i'd like to see caitlin and him dancing. But I don't buy that shit.
Because, like I said, he's our servant.
Even though, you know, if the people would wake the fuck up and realize that.
What an awesome country.
Other than Clive Bundy and his kid.
And a few of those protesters out there.
And then Jerry let the president ask him a few questions,
and Obama asked him about hecklers.
I thought this was a cute exchange.
Do you still get hecklers?
What's your theory of handling hecklers?
I say, you know what?
You seem upset.
I'm so sorry.
I know that's not why you came in here.
Let's talk.
What kind of...
I thought that was funny.
Imagine that's how I handle hecklers.
I'm sorry.
Seems like you have a problem.
I know that's not why you came in here.
And that's probably exactly how jerry does it
you know bill hicks used to have a bit about heckling uh jerry i guess bill hicks wasn't a
huge sign velvet but uh he used to do a bit about jerry's up there going why do women use so many
cotton balls to take off their man i don't know why do women use so many cotton balls to take off their makeup? No, why do women use so many cotton balls? And Hicks goes, I had a fantasy. I'm in the first row. I raised my
hand. To take off their makeup. Zing, zang, zing, zong, zing. Also, Obama mentioned, Jerry
asked him, I don't have a clip for this, but asked him about what awards that, you know, you haven't won political awards, would you?
And he mentions, you know, that he might want to be on Mount Rushmore.
I thought that was pretty ballsy.
I know he's the first black president, but come on, man.
You've done a horrendous job, even by some liberal standards, they're not happy with you.
So Mount Rushmore,
what are you, shitting me?
Should be the bottom of Mount St. Helens.
What?
I don't know.
I just fucking said something.
Uncle Junior, kick it in, brother.
Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife.
I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says.
Why, he asks.
Don't you have a vase?
I'll laugh at that till I'm fucking 79.
Why does that fucking crack me up?
Because I'm three years old mentally.
Well, that's fine.
Anyways, hey, I'm doing Anthony Comey.
I don't know when you're going to listen to this.
This is coming out tonight.
I will have done Anthony Comey, but you can watch the rest of the week.
I'm doing his podcast tonight.
And I'm doing Race Wars with Kurt Metzger and my buddy Sherrod Small.
I don't know when that, again, it's a podcast,
so find it on the internet, listen to it.
How can't that be interesting?
Me doing a show called Race Wars,
which, by the way, is a radio show on Sirius, too, I guess.
Why don't they fucking listen to this and throw me a bone?
Jerks of all cocks.
Anyways, I don't know who's running that station.
A new guy took over.
I told you that Norton introduced me to him.
The guy couldn't have been less interested.
He must fucking despise me.
He went, yeah, how's it going?
He didn't even finish, how's it going,
when he turned his fucking right shoulder to me.
And then I noticed my checks from Sirius.
You know, I get checks, residual checks,
once a month for them playing my stuff.
And mine was down, oh, I don't know, about 4,000%.
And I called the guy,
and I go,
is it, what's going on?
Please tell me it was just
holiday programming,
or are you guys doing
a new format?
And he's like,
yeah, we're playing
more unknown comics.
Well, yeah,
there's a recipe
to get your ratings.
Huh?
What the fuck?
Is Billy Weaver,
a weak middle
from fucking Wisconsin,
doing a clapper bit.
Anyways.
So, yeah, that was a cool insight.
Jerry could never have me on that.
Well, first of all, I'm not famous enough, I guess.
But I remember one time I'm up on stage having one of my nights at the cellar,
a little drunk, a little angry, and I'm talking about Hillary,
and I call her a cunt like three times, and I come off the stage,
and who's standing in the hallway?
Jerry.
And Jerry just looks at me and he goes, brilliant, brilliant, sarcastically.
He probably wanted to pop me in the face.
And I went, yeah, I've been down here a little too long he goes you don't say i don't give a fuck
little butter my blowing your ears out tough shit wake up it's 2016
we're white we're the white pussy act well apparently it's at wherewhitepeoplemeet.com.
Where retarded Puerto Rican midgets meet.org.
What the fuck else?
Let's get back to race.
That's the only thing that matters, apparently, in this goddamn country.
Or should I save these for the next show?
By the way, Tom Coughlinlin I haven't put on the news today
he's one o'clock he's probably stepped down by now which I don't think is fair imagine being a
military guy like Coughlin he's just just a guy want two Super Bowls nobody expected that by the
way he's as good a coach as Giants ever had military guy remember he even made the transition
to being a player's coach because
the the the young guys didn't like that he had he was demanding and he yelled at him and shit
and held you know accountability all the great traits any great coach has and uh they lost to
the eagles yesterday so he's probably out by now he's probably happy god the way these guys get
their energy that guy's gonna be what 68 i don't know i don't know these guys get their energy? That guy's going to be, what, 68? I don't know.
I don't know where they get their energy.
Holy shit, I better pick up the pace.
I got to get out of here,
drive into the city and deal with that shit again.
Fuck.
What else did I want to talk about here?
What else?
Let's talk about the Oscar Awards.
They're coming up.
Headlines.
Will this year's Academy Awards see a repeat of... What the fuck?
It's my wife
sending me a picture
of a chick.
I can't look at her right now.
Oh boy,
that can't be good news.
It's either that
or a picture of her
with a car flipped over
on Route 1.
I'll check it later on.
I'm sure she's fine.
Limping around
like a fucking pirate
with that knee.
But she's up and at them.
I'll tell you
once the percocets wore off and shit and she wasn't getting sick from the pills
i mean years ago he'd still be in bed with that knee she's fucking running around
i watched her take out the trash yesterday no i didn't my way my mother hears that and she'll
fucking bitch slap me uh will this year's academy awards see a repeat of hashtag Oscars so white backlash?
As most in picture Academy members cast their ballots for Oscar nominations this week,
the biggest issue for many voters isn't about who might be nominated,
but about the diversity of this year's acting class.
Let me make it easy on you fucking liberal jackoffs.
See, these are people in the Academy who actually perpetuate all this political correct horseshit.
Let me make it easy on you.
Go by merit.
Just try it once.
I guess that's what they did last year.
And almost all the nominees, almost all of them were white.
And somehow that was wrong.
Once again, in a country that's still almost 70% white.
the Academy found itself on the defensive last year when white actors earned all 20 of the nominations
in the lead and supporting categories.
Yet there's a strong chance this year's acting awards
will once again be heavily, perhaps exclusively,
God forbid, white,
despite the efforts of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
to diversify the organization.
No matter how many gays and transgenders and minorities
they let into the Academy, it still might be.
And you know what that is?
Because majority of the actors are white.
Well, that means you're not given enough roles to...
Well, people...
We give the roles based on the characters,
which are written by all kinds of people.
But again, they write them about shit that happens in their lives in a country where they pop in is predominantly white.
So, God, help me.
Idris Elba.
Beasts of notion of beasts of no, sits among the forecasted nominees at Gold Derby,
a website compiling predictions of two dozen Oscar pundits.
I guess she would be a minority.
Is that why they're talking to her?
And she says,
and she says,
if it's all white again, nobody's going to be happy,
and there might be a growing perception that the Academy is out of touch.
Since when, you know, again, a predominantly white country,
and you're writing stories about, and a lot of the characters are white, how does that make you out of touch?
Anything white is considered passe. Is that it?
You're not going to shove me in that fucking closet.
Oh, you know who this is?
This isn't Idris Elba.
Excuse me.
This is a USC history professor, Steve Ross.
And I'm sure you're going to get a nice unbiased opinion
from a college professor at a university,
Southern California.
I'm sure he's right down the middle.
He hasn't been tainted with his own dog shit.
It's like watching a dog eat his own shit.
If it's all white again,
he says,
nobody's going to be happy.
There might be a growing perception that the Academy is out of touch.
Steve Ross says author of several books about Hollywood politics.
touch steve ross says author of several books about hollywood politics then we had a few of the oscar voters speaking on condition of anonymity because of the subject
sensitive nature imagine you got to speak in anonymity if you're talking about race that's
how fucked up we are in this country about it and And one of them says, I don't see how you can
nominate another group that doesn't include
any actor of color and
you'll think you'll be taken seriously.
One actor's
branch member said,
F. Gary Gray, director of
the NWA
biopic, straight
out of Compton. By the way, he's
African American. He's the only one that has itpton. By the way, he's African-American.
He's the only one that has it right, by the way, ironically.
He joined the Academy this year.
You know, he'll be voting.
And he offers a different view than the white, guilty, liberal pussies of the Academy.
I'm not going to allow politics to influence my judgment,
because then that defeats the purpose said Gray
who is African American
just said he's gray hey zinger zing zing zing zing
that's not how I make movies and it's not how I'll vote
if something moves me and touches me it's probably my uncle
no oh what if something moves me and touches me
that's probably the direction I'll go in
that's coming from a black director.
He's saying he doesn't see the color and shit.
He goes on merit if something moves him.
You understand?
Why don't you white liberal dickheads listen to him and quit trying to defend his feelings?
This year's prominent contenders of color, oh, I guess there are contenders.
So what are we talking about here? Include Michael B. it's a guy that in creed young fighter will smith in concussion
and big mouth whitey hater himself samuel l jackson the hateful eight i've had enough of him
too by the way by the way he was a big black protester in the 60s anti-white fucking jerk off
and he still is by the way you can go online and protester in the 60s anti-white fucking jerk off and he
still is by the way you can go online and see him sing during the ferguson riots him singing about
the cops being killers and shit and uh there was a piece about uh this week him sort of bad-mouthing
trump and he he's you know again and if he was white he'd be just another actor in my humble
opinion it's just that tarantino fell in love with him because Tarantino grew up watching black exploitation films.
And that doesn't mean I don't like his performances.
I love them in Pulp Fiction, and I like what he does.
But he's a whitey hater, and Hollywood ought to take that into consideration.
If there was a white actor out there that spoke like out spoke out
like he does and the way he talks about white people you wouldn't see him again oh that's right
mel gibson did that um and you haven't seen him have you no you haven't
in december for a sag awards ensemble prize also in the mix is transgender actress
maya taylor oh my god do you see the confusion and division uh brought on by the fucking left
who just identity politics that's where they live they've perfected it
so last year yeah the academy responded to Oscar so-white criticism on the Internet by inviting 300, this June, inviting 322 new members, its largest class ever.
Jesus Christ, that leaves 10 of us on a planet that aren't voting for these movies.
The demographically broad group reflected a concerted move toward a normalization of our membership to represent both the industry and the country as a whole.
Well, if that's the Academy President Cheryl Boone's Isaacs said that in an interview.
Well, if that's true, then it's it's it's about right.
Because, again, 68 percent white, about 12 percent black, about I don't know what the Hispanics are, 20 percent, 18.
I don't know. So to me, it seems about right when I go to the movies.
Matter of fact, I think, I said this before, definitely minorities overrepresented on TV.
If you landed here from a different planet and you watched TV for an hour,
you'd think it was 70-30, black to white.
Wouldn't you?
Sure you would.
I get a pit in my stomach.
No, I have to, i'm i don't know
then i have to get on a plane next week and start all over again i see no end to this
fucking life um why did that just come into my head i don't know anyways it's the same old story
so um don't get all uppity and but but you see what's happening here you see the mentality
people are gonna vote academy members who can't be you can't find white um more liberal a lot of
them are gonna vote they because they don't want to they don't want to be perceived as racist so
they've been bullied into some people aren't going to get Oscars
or be nominated this year because they are white,
and the Academy doesn't want to look racist.
So once again, we lower the standards,
and I understand if this was 1955
and you had that mentality,
but we'll weigh the fuck past it,
and try doing things on merit, but you can't. You can't look at things objectively. way the fuck past it. And, you know,
try doing things on merit,
but you can't.
You can't look at things objectively
because it's been drilled
into your head.
You know?
That's about it, kids.
Isn't it?
I think it is.
Come see me again this weekend will you please at uh
lovity live in west niagara new york it's a dangerous situation and then uh chicago next
weekend oh my god yeah where's my book at can't believe believe it. Back to the grind.
I've been sitting around really concentrating on this show
more than anything
for the last couple weeks, so.
Zany's, 14, 15, and 16
in Chicago and Rosemont.
Sports Haven, New Haven, Connecticut,
January 23rd.
Comedy, the comedy shop.
The comedy shop on January 29th at Saline's in Wantage, New Jersey,
and the 30th at the Regency House Hotel, which is in Pompton Plains.
The 29th and the 30th, that is, in Jersey.
The Music Hall of Portsmouth, New Hampshire on February 12th.
Governors in Long Island, the 26th and 27th.
That's enough for now.
Enough of the plugs.
Thank you so much again
for the contributions.
That's all I can think of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Until next time,
everybody.
Why am I? I feel like I'm getting something.
I don't fucking know.
I don't know. I gotta eat something.
My blood sugar is lower than B.B. King's.
Does that make any sense? I don't know what the fuck it is.
All right, kids. Love you. Talk to you soon, huh? I won't take all that they hand me down
And make out a smile though I wear a frown
And I'm not gonna take it all lying down
Cause once I get started I go to town
Cause I'm not like everybody else
No, no
I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else
Cause I don't wanna live my life like everybody else Good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.