The Nick DiPaolo Show - 14 FBI Whistleblowers? | Nick Di Paolo Show #1257

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

CBS lies about Trump passports. 14 FBI whistleblower claim. Liz and Dick rinos. Trans in AL sorority. Frats leave USC. Minneapolis union openly racist.

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Visit HyundaiUSA.com to learn more about the new Hyundai Palisade. Call 1-866-930-8006 for details. Here's Nick. It's Nick. Great to be with you, folks. Great show tonight. Great guests. Got a young comedy duo, Tom and Dick Smothers. They'll be out later to tickle your funny bone.

Very, very talented, sexy black woman, Diane Carroll. And of course, our friend, the astrologist, Carl Sagan. Great show. And we've got a talking parakeet and some lady who collects chips shaped like Richard Nixon. All right. How you doing, folks? Before I get started, thank you to everyone who has already moved their support from the Comics Gym to Patreon. I appreciate you getting this done as I'll be off

the Comics Gym completely by the end of this month. So please take care if you haven't done it yet. Please take the time today to join me on Patreon. Thank you all again

and enjoy today's show and there is no global warming. Fuck your sister. Okay? Okay. Well, well, well. I have the second part of Knocking on Heaven's Door, the solo. I've completed it. Now I've got to take the rough edges off it. What a fucking thrill, man, when you hear it coming out like, holy shit. Wife's very thrilled. She hasn't seen my dick in two years. I'm down there with my headphones on, like a 15-year-old. I'll tell you, it's not a good sight.

Let's get right to it. What the hay, what the hell? Trump is a flight risk, apparently, and CBS caught lying. You can take either one of those. What am I talking about? Well, the Justice Department, yesterday Trump was on Twitter claiming that they had stole his passports, the FBI, during the frigging raid. And, of course, jerk off CBS went out there and said he was lying. The Justice Department admitted late Monday, that was yesterday, that former President Donald Trump's passports were taken by FBI agents who searched his Florida home last week. This is hours after CBS Evening News, lying cocksuckers, I should not say that, will try to make, uh, anchor Nora O'Donnell tweeted that she had been told otherwise.

Of course, of course she listens to her boss. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Late Monday, Trump spokesman Taylor Budowich tweeted a screenshot of an email from a member of the Justice Department's National Security Division that acknowledged the Bureau removed the 45th president's travel documents from Mar-a-Lago. You know, because he's like a flight risk. Folks, if you're falling for this, it is, and you're the bad guys, by the way. If you say this is all baloney and shit, you're a law enforcement hater now.

You're putting the FBI in danger. They're saying it on every channel. We're on to you. This is the formula that worked for the left for years. We are on to you this is the formula that worked for the left for years we are on to you we have learned that the filter agents seized what the fuck's a filter agent seized three passports belonging to president trump two expired and one being his active diplomatic passport at the email so can you imagine the balls on these people.

First off, a flight risk with a diplomatic passport is a little impossible, actually. Well, yeah. Yeah. Maybe they weren't afraid of him. You know, back up even before, they were worrying about nuclear secrets. And you waited 18 months to make a move on it? This is such an, it is, a 12-year-old can see through this. They were hoping to find something else.

But they don't need anything else. They can plant it. And no, that's not paranoid thinking. No, I'm not putting the FBI in danger. You people on the left are always accusing law enforcement of being crooked and setting up. You don't think the frigging FBI or the CIA, who've been known to whack people all over the world, they're not going to do it? It would be funny if they left like a bag of Coke and then Trump blamed it on like, I don't know, Don Jr. That's how stupid the FBI, the email added that the agency was returning Trump's passports and that they will be ready for pickup at 2 p.m. Yeah, I'll send Melania to go get them.

What are you talking about? In executing search warrants, the FBI follows search and seizure procedures ordered by courts, then returns items that do not need to be retained for law enforcement purposes, which should be, the Bureau said that in a statement. Why are we listening to the... And again, and it is true. Look, it's the upper brass that's filthy. I'll tell you why I believe that. And because we got a story sort of backing it up a little bit.

Wow, as Donald Trump says, in the raid by the FBI of Mar-a-Lago, they stole my three passports. One expired. Oh, my God, he's lying. Along with everything else, the former president wrote. They took two bowling trophies and a half a club sandwich he was saving. Yeah. This is an assault on a political opponent at a level never seen before in our country,

but obviously seen all over the world in third world shitholes, right on the money. Yes, sir. On Monday evening, O'Donnell, still a looker. You got a dumb whoa. According to a Department of Justice officials, she said, the FBI is not in possession of former President Trump's passports. Trump had accused the FBI of stealing his. He accused them. And rightly so. Because they did it. Yeah, because they did it. What are you, allergic to the truth over there?

They accused the FBI. He accused them of stealing his free passports during the search of Mar-a-Lago home. And then she had to, you know, back up and whatever. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? Let's hope so. In a follow-up tweet, O'Donnell hedged,

of course, they can never just come right out. We are also learning tonight that if any items not contained in the warrant were retrieved during the FBI search at Mar-a-Lago, they will be returned.

Everything on the side of the FBI, you people are just, you see how they, here's my other thought, not to get too political. How do we ever break this up, this synergy between the mainstream media and the Democrat Party, which is

not the Democrat. It's a socialist Marxist party, right? How do you ever change that? Can you? I don't think you can, unless you have a civil war. I'm just saying. I'll be involved, but I got some tightness right here, so I might sit this one out. There's a Green Acres marathon on.

You guys go out there and fight. I watch Jeb. Anyways, the point of that story was, once again, the legacy media, meaning ABC, ABC, CBS, once again, jumping out over their skis and, uh, you know, and then backtracking, but doing it with no apology and no retraction. And well, they came out and said, whatever. But the point is a lot of people who saw the initial story won't see the retraction. You know what I mean? And they count on that.

It's baked into the, oh, my God. MSNBC, holy shit, they're off the rails. You notice I don't even talk about them anymore? It's embarrassing. I can't even. And CNN, oh, Wolf Blitzer still there just feeding softballs to Cheney and Adam Kinsey. They just nod their heads. And it's fucking gross. It's gross. To stay on the FBI. Now, here's the thing about people always go,

well, look, most of the rank and file of the FBI are good patriotic people, which I believe for the most part. And it's the upper brass, the fucking, like, what's his name, Ray? The head of the, that guy's as crooked as, how did he get in? How did he just slid in?

And that was a Trump appointment. i you know i don't know who you blame on that one anyways you guys know ranking member of the house judiciary boy this is sounding too political i'm gonna start not folks what do you want me to do i'm gonna come in here and we'll start doing stories about i don't know martians getting blown on a fucking whatever. I didn't mean to. Ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee. I hate saying that. I sound like I'm a fucking news anchor. Only news anchors don't say fuck a lot.

Here's that cunt Jill with the weather. Judiciary Committee, Jim Jordan, Republican, Ohio. Another guy who, you know, defended Trump all the time for the last five years. And I was behind him until I said, wait a minute, all he does is yap and oversight committees, but nothing ever changes. So I'm wondering what part of the script is, you know. Anyways, Jim Jordan, Republican Ohio, claimed during an interview Sunday evening that 14 FBI whistleblowers have come

to him. I'll say that again. 14 FBI whistleblowers come to him with complaints about the political nature of the Justice Department. Really? Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger.

Well, like somebody said online, and I agree, when you do that, when somebody comes a whistleblower, they have to fill out paperwork. So why don't you wait till you have all the paperwork to tell us you have 14 whistleblowers? I'm sure he does. I don't know what to believe anymore. You know, that's why I'm learning guitar. I'm going to go out on the road. Strike it big at 60. Playing fucking songs at 80 years old. here is jimmy jordan who tries

and puts up a good and and you know i i want to believe him but like i said somebody also said which i i read a lot about it's really true there's enough globalists in both parties you understand and there's enough that aren't in both parties to keep you and I. But don't forget it. There's globalists in the Republican Party, too. And, you know, the Kinzinger's and the Cheney's of the world. And that's where it's friggin' headed, I think. But here he is talking about the whistleblowers that came to him. From the FBI.

Fourteen FBI agents have come to our office as whistleblowers. And they are good people. There are lots of good people in the FBI. It's the top that's the problem. But some of these good agents are coming to us telling us, this is baloney what's going on. The political nature now of the Justice Department, God bless them for doing it, coming and talking to us about the school board issue, about a whole host of issues. I mean, it's becoming a well-worn trail of agents who say this has got to stop.

Yeah. And then what do you do? Go back to your office and take a 12-hour nap? For the love of Christ? Look at Trey Gowdy's hair in the middle. I gave Gutbell a great line about him in his monologue. He went into the men's room at Fox, and he said, only Bill Hemmer was in there, and I said, Trey Gowdy under the hair dryer, I mean the hand dryer, combing his hair. It killed folks, trust me, if you're up that late. The next day, a week after the FBI raided former President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago residence, Jordan sent letters to the Attorney General. folks trust me if you're up that late the next day a week after the fbi raided former president

donald trump's mar-a-lago residence jordan sent letters to the attorney general boy that's it we'll send him a strongly worded letter is that an actual picture a current picture that is right what's with the fucking mask and people go you don't know if they have cancer or not and i go i hope they do and it's in their brain and they'll be gone soon. What's with the mask, you jerk off? Nothing says I'm a puppet and I will follow orders like that. The attorney general director

of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the president's assistant arguing the Justice Department has shattered public confidence in the equal application of the law. Yeah, yeah. His claim sparked a wave of skepticism. Did you see Hillary?

I never showed you this with a hat on. We didn't show that, right? That says, but her emails. Mocking, mocking us. When she was breaking cell phones with a fucking hand. Now she's mocking. Wow. As many doubted that 14 federal agents would come to him.

That's what the people online are saying. Since when do you listen to them? Who gives a fuck what you think? Yeah, exactly. In May, Jordan similarly reported FBI agents had approached him regarding accusations of politicization, I can never say that, at the Justice Department. However, some critics couched their skepticism with the possibility that Jordan might be onto something, Newsweek noted. I bet they hated to note that. Who fucking reads it? I know it's online now, but if Jim Jordan has 14 FBI whistleblowers going to his office,

somebody else wrote online, many more are probably going to other places as well. I don't know why you'd assume that. Another user tweeted, named Donald Trump. Hopefully the Democrat Party's activities at the FBI will be exposed and people will be held accountable. Yeah, that's what's going to happen. You know how, that's what she does, Hillary,

and she watches TV probably. You know, but, they say this is, she's behind this, by the way. This is revenge for when they went after her 30,000 emails. That's what people are saying. I'm sure, you don't think Obama and Hillary are on the phone every night and all the other

fucking communist twats that we hate on a party line. Hillary's chewing candy right into the phone. They're like, Hillary. On a Zoom call? Yeah, exactly. On a friggin Zoom call. Hillary's like, she's in a see-through nightgown.

All the other guys are fucking pausing and puking in their wastebasket. Well, there goes my hard-on. Here it goes. Bye-bye. Guys, make plans to come see me on the road or at my house. I'm having a cookout Tuesday here in Savannah. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Please come out. And here's my new method, folks. I show up.

I'm not going to do my fucking act. I show up and I spew. That's when you get really funny. And I'll say it again. The great Kelly Rogers. Okay, the mediocre Kelly Rogers once said, your act is what you do when you're not feeling it. You're not in a funny mood.

Don't get me wrong. The jokes are great and shit. I'd rather just let her fly. It's a hybrid of both. My point is, come on out. You won't be disappointed either way. Friday, September 9th, Soul Joles Comedy Club, Royalsford, Pennsylvania. The next night, September 10th,

Algonquin Arts Theater, Manasquan, New Jersey. Sunday, September 11th, Sugarloaf Arts Theater, Manasquan, New Jersey. Sunday, September 11th, Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center, Chester, New York. That's three nights in a row. Then in November, the 11th, at Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach. Saturday, November 12th, this show just went on sale, Snappers Comedy Club. Boy, it sounds like I'm getting, it sounds like a room I'll be doing five years into my career. It sounds like I'm getting, it sounds like a room I'll be doing five years into my career.

Hey, Nick, I got you at Snapper's in Nashville, 1250 in Airfield. Snapper's Comedy Club, Fort Myers. I love Florida. Just, guys, do me a favor. Don't wear flip-flops at a show. Show some fucking respect. And Sunday, November 13th,

Sidesplit is one of my favorite clubs in the country, comedy club in Tampa. And at the Tampa show,, Sidesplit is one of my favorite clubs in the country. Comedy club in Tampa. And at the Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A after the show about stock prices and with VIP ticket holders. So grab them before they're gone. You can get all

tickets to all those shows at Nicky. Nickdip.com. Nickadip a dot. I say Nickadip a dot. She's a com. Okay, nice. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Tell me what to do, you prick face.

Lizzy, Lizzy Chaney took an ax. Gave her dad's crusty heart 40 fucking whacks. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, tonight, Liz, I'm not sure I'm heterosexual, Cheney, whose net worth has grown perhaps 600% since being first elected in 2017, will be judged at the polls tonight, right? Yeah, Tuesday, after the opposing former President Donald Trump and voting with Democrats five times,

she voted with them five times, globalist, in the current congressional term. If Liz Cheney loses, she would be the eighth pro-impeachment Republican. Remember she said impeach Trump? She'd be the eighth one that said that to exit Congress. Guess what? I heard she's getting smoked

as far as the latest numbers too. Bye-bye, dickhead. God, does she look like my acting teacher Joanna Bexson. Oh my God, it's unfrigging canny. I keep waiting for her to say, Nick, take your hand off Marie's ass during the scene.

Oh. And cut. What'd I do? Those after classes were great. You know, if she'd hand me a scene, it would always be like, I don't know if I could. And I'd go, come on, something with some frontal notity. Not me. The partner. Do you know I had a, and this is true. When I was in L.A., I was taking acting classes. And my partner one weekend was Roseanne Barr's

daughter. What's her name? Brandy, I think. She came... Why am I saying this out loud? Nothing really. But she came to my apartment. She fucking tried to rape me. The scene didn't even have any kissing in it. She starts mauling me. I couldn't do anything. I had a steady at the time. So I made her banana bread and sent her on her way.

She's kind of a hefty girl. Liz Cheney's loss would mean a two-generation establishment dynasty would come to an end. That's what happens when you send a woman to a man's job. In a state where her name recognition is nearly universal

and her family's political roots run deep, the AP reported Monday. Well, it's Wyoming. There's eight people there. As the daughter of former Vice President, it why it is wyoming i always can feel you my own montana and wyoming it's wyoming uh as the daughter of former vice president dick cheney lizzie lizzie uh cheney ouster the woman who's going to beat her would also highlight the Republican Party's ongoing transformation from an establishment uniparty, whatever the fuck that is.

Is that like a unibrow? What are you talking about? To a populist party, which that's what should always be, in my opinion, that is less interested. Listen to how this is worded. Who wrote this? Nor O'Donnell. In the globalist agenda and more interested in America first policies. God forbid. See, folks, what people forget on the left is we've been the only

superpower left on the planet for I don't know how many years now. You see, we sort of like that role. But the globalists have been hating it as long as we've been liking it. In the closing days of the race, Cheney deployed her father in a TV ad which did not mention the state of Wyoming. He doesn't mention the state she's running for in, but he mentions frigging Trump six times. First of all, I admire this guy because he's, Six times. First of all, I admire this guy because he's, well, I hate Democrats. I wasn't crazy about George W. Bush either. He was too fucking neocon for me. But I really hate Democrats.

Anybody that hates this guy this much makes me like him. Remember, they despise this motherfucker. And Adam McKay made a movie about him, which I liked about him, because when he was younger, he was a bit of a hell raiser. He'd go into bars drunk and start whacking people. Yeah, he's a cold-hearted motherfucker.

Hey, whatever. Whatever you're going to do to get through the world. But my point being, I hate his guts now. My other question, how's he still alive? I used to have a joke that killed my act because Bush was president. He was the vice president. And I would say, Vice President Cheney, the only vice president you could assassinate with an air horn. Hit!

Would murder. So how's he still alive? This guy's had more heart work done anyways this is him doing an ad for his daughter but not mentioning the state once obsessed with trump go ahead in our nation's 246 year history there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than donald trump he tried to steal the last election, using lies and violence to keep himself in power. Look at those dead eyes.

Look at those dead eyes. I've never had pains like this before. Oh, this is the worst one I ever had, son. Oh, it's the worst one. This is a big one. I'm dying. You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you. Go ahead.

Oh, go shoot your hunting partner. What else? Not the end? That was all I gave you? No, I didn't. Are you sure come on anyways you get the idea never mentions what's her name

so yeah Liz Cheney is gonna get smoked you fucking whore yeah that's it go home get my dinner ready that's what I'd say to Lizzie. Lizzie Borden took an axe. Here's some good news for Dallas.

As you know, Dallas went to Auburn. University wore Eagle. Tremendous football program. They gave us crs like Kenny Hill and Dave McGutty. I'll tell you about, can I tell you about Auburn, though? My comedian friend who passed away from COVID,

Vic Henley, Alabama guy. Alabama guy? His brother, anyways, yeah, I think, yeah, his brother, white guy, was running back, starting running back for the War Eagles in the 70s. Can you fucking imagine? Bo Jackson, Frank Thomas, Cam Newton.

Yes, yes, we know all the colored guys that are very talented. I'm bringing up the white guy that ran a 4.64. Where were we? Yes, where were we? Bo Jackson, my favorite. Love him. You know what he does now? He whittles like bow and arrows. He sits in his, they did a whole thing on ESPN. Of course, he's deadly at that too. Anyways, let's move on, shall we? Why am I bringing that up? Anyways, let's move on, shall we? Why am I bringing that up? Tide turning at Alabama sorority.

Get this, folks. I'll give you a trigger warning here because I broke my fist on the blender. Biological, it says makes. Biological males joining Rush Week to join a sorority at the University of Alabama. Are you... See, this is why... Don't give it away. This is why

it's the University of Alabama. I mean, you're not going to get any more, supposedly. So this woke shit, I call it Marxism, has... It's in our bone marrow. It's in Alabama. When I play this guy, you guys, if you're not homophobic, you're going to be after. This should be the litmus test.

I've never met a girl this feminine. Now, keep in mind, even though he's got nice legs, he's got a cock. Got a cock. Got a cock. Got a cock. Cock-a-doodle-doo. Can you imagine Bear Bryant watching this? Bear Bryant used to punch linebackers in the face in practice. I'm not shitting you.

A fucking tough guy. But this guy, this guy slash girl, I guess it would be a a trans woman is rushing a sorority in alabama and he slash she wants and again i'm not i have to say this because again and i've said it before in full disclosure i have a nephew who was once you know what and he's much happier now than he was so i'm saying it works for some people but don't take it this far if he now than he was. So I'm saying it works for some people, but don't take it this far. If he did, if he was like this, I'd smack him in the face and I'd be sued. But anyways, check this out. Hey y'all, it's Grant. Today is day five of Alabama Rush and it is the first day of sisterhood around. I'm so excited. I cannot wait. So I'm'm gonna give you guys an OOTD and yeah so my shirt is

my dress is from hello molly thank you so much hello molly love you my like this thing is from shin my shoes are from shin and my ring is from graduation oh not again that is so funny and yeah that's it so wish me luck today and thank you so much and my makeup is done by me again oh that dirty cocksucker girl i'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face in oh my god Dirty cogsucker. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Oh, my God. Now, here's Bear Bryant. He wants to put that cigarette out on that guy's hip, either his clit or his dick. I'm confused.

Either way, but that is a boy running, rushing a sorority in college. Proves that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong. Oh my God. I think we have the things all. Anyways, I don't know. Hazing of frats.

We'll stay on the frats. Well, we also have another video associated with that one. Oh, I'm sorry. What is it? Jesus Christ. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mr. Carter. Yes, I just while I was doing research on this, Anita Bryant popped up.

You don't know who she is if you're much younger than me. She was a singer who had a couple of top 40 hits. One was called Kill the Fags. She was kind of, she was kind, she's very conservative and was, didn't, you know, was against homosexuality and wasn't afraid to say it. This is long before cancel culture. But so she used to get out there and she was kind of a controversial figure. And I just want to show you how the left, even back then, this is in the 70s,

how they react to anybody they disagree with. Let's take a look at Nita O'Brien at a press conference. If we were going to go on a crusade across the nation and try to do away with the homosexuals uh then we certainly would have done it on june the 8th after one of the most overwhelming victories in the country um but we didn't we we we tried to avoid it and went into a place called norfolk virginia and were met with protest and all kinds of problems. And every... Security agent, security agent. No, no, let him stay. No.

Let him stay. Pause. Pause. It's a fruit pot. Pause. Somebody said security, and these are all conservatives there, and the guy next to her said, no, let him stay. They're actually going to pray for this guy, which I'm sorry, I'm with Antifa on this one.

I get violent right now. Fuck praying. That's right, I never said I was a real conservative. You guys gave me that label. I'm a fucking Italian first. I'd give you a plate of ziti at 180 degrees, right in your fucking mush. But watch this.

She's going to be praying as this pie falling off. It made me laugh. Go ahead. Let's pray for him right now, Anita. Let's pray. Anita, why don't you pray? Pause. That's all right.

Our father, who cooks in heaven, banana cream pie. Go ahead. Father, we want to thank you. Bryant burst into tears as the pie ran down her face. A little while later, Bryant... Let's pray.

No! Let's hang him. Hang him high. All that tolerance from the left, huh? Some things stay the same, don't they? Let's stay on fraternity news, shall we? I call this one hazing fraternities by university. When University of Southern California,

I guess that would be USC. Why didn't they put that? What, do they get paid by the fucking word? Students head to classes in the fall. They may notice fewer fraternities on campus as the school has enacted stricter party rules. Following multiple reports of sexual assault and drugging on Friday, USC announced it was disappointed, that's in quotes, to learn six fraternities, Kappa Alpha Order.

Man, does that have the word order in you? Pi kappa alpha, sigma alpha mu, sigma chi, ta kappa epsilon. That's teak. That was the footballing up in Maine. There were some sexual stuff. And zeta beta tau chose to disaffiliate with the school. Yeah, I'm sure you're disappointed. The school, they've been trying to kick,

they've been trying to get fraternities off campuses for the last, I don't know, at least 20 years now. Why, folks? Well, it's all based in, you know, European white male. You've heard the term how many times? Typical white frat boy. Typical white frat boy, whatever, you know.

Even though the lacrosse Duke team was called that too and look how that turned out. Anyways, I was in a fraternity. Best time I ever had in my life. Ever, ever. I'll never forget we were sitting at a big table. We had a guy who was like 72 years old. Bob. He's an alcoholic. He was our cook down in the kitchen. So he made lasagna one night. Picture this. This is a true story.

We're sitting at this long table. I'm at the head of the table like, Jesus. We all have a plate of lasagna in front of us, and somebody said, DePaulo, you're a guinea. You taste it first. So I already planned what I was going to do. So I taste it. I pick it up, and I turn turn and I throw it off the wall.

I threw the plate and hit the wall. That's right. I was a moron. And it wasn't that bad to be honest. I just wanted to get a laugh. Anyways. They've been trying to get rid of them forever.

By the way, mine got... They bulldozed mine online like five years ago. Bad shit does go on. I'm not going to lie to you. But it also goes on in black dorms, too, and girl dorms. We are disappointed that some USC fraternity. No, you're not. Fraternities are following an unfortunate national trend.

Well, if it's a national trend, you guys might be the problem. By disaffiliating from the university against our strong recommendation. They fucking lie. They say just the opposite of what they mean to your face. By ignoring our recommendations, USC said in a statement shared on its official Instagram account, this decision seems to be driven by the desire to eliminate university oversight of their operations. Again, more semantics. USC President Carol Folt, who's adult, noted last fall that the school delayed alerting the campus about accusations of drugging and sexual assault at

fraternity parties. Because that's the only place it happens, folks. Right? Those are the only parties it happens. Where there's WICA. As a result, in fraternity council, briefly suspended all social activities for fraternity, on fraternity campuses. This year we're going to grab the bull by the balls

and kick those punks off campus. We didn't do that yesterday? No? Oh, good. A new policy was later announced that required fraternities to adhere to strict rules when throwing parties to ensure the safety. Here you go. Once again, under the guise of safety,

keep that in mind, folks, especially women. Oh, poor ladies. Some of the rules, listen to these, oh, poor ladies. Some of the rules, listen to these, they call these rules. These are called, this is when you negotiate and it's called the non-starter. Some of the rules included

posting security guards like they could afford that at stairs, at stairs or hallways leading to bedrooms. Now you're ruining it. We used to do innocent stuff. Like Danny Maloney, I came in.

He was in his room. His room was attached to a bathroom that just happened to be the bathroom we let the girls use during fraternity party. I came in on a Saturday afternoon. The party was that night. He was in his closet with a blackened deck of drill. And I go, what are you doing? He goes, look in there.

And I look, you can see the toilet. Again, just good clean fun. Now you do 10 years in a prison for that. And guess what? We were looking in there during a party. Two girls pissed in our tub. Couldn't get in there quick enough with a straw. What?

What are you german uh yes sir they know what they're doing they'll put the guards at the steps and leading to bedrooms during parties okay that's one rule banning kegs banning kegs what are you gonna do six ounce using scanners to screen for fake IDs. First of all, IDs? IDs? You need an ID to go to a fraternity party? Are you shitting me?

I let like this 14-year-old kid, he was a boy from freshman in high school at Bangor High, I let him stand on my shoulders to get in a window in the back to screen for fake IDs. And listen to this, requiring all fraternity members to undergo sexual violence prevention training. And they wonder why they want nothing to do with the campus anymore. Can you fucking imagine making white guys, because that's what fraternity, well, this is black fraternities still, undergo sexual violence.

Can you imagine? Gee, don't paint with a broad brush or anything. Can you frigging imagine? So what? A train takes place once every five years. As long as you're not on it, what are you giving shit? Oh, my God.

Then as of this moment, they're on double secret probation. Unbelievable. In the latest statement, USC suggested the fraternities that disaffiliated with the university were unwilling to adhere to the new safety rules. Yeah. that disaffiliated with the university were unwilling to adhere to the new safety rules. Yeah. The members are chafing at procedures and protocols designed to take the fun out of life.

I added that. To prevent sexual assault and drug abuse. Oh, really? You know what that is? Oh, my God. And deal with issues of mental health and underage dreams. You hear how they just take the... No fun. I know every year we hear of one,

not every year, once every couple years, a kid dies of alcohol poisoning during rush week. I call it thinning out the herd. You can't make the fucking world childproof, okay? That's how I used to dress in college, that statue. That was me going to a party. They also object to not being able to rush freshmen in the fall, a practice that has been repeatedly shown to be unsafe for new students,

the statement reads. Really? Want to give me the research on that? In addition, they are pushing back at the time it takes to investigate serious issues like sexual assault. Yes, they should, because under Obama and Title IX, do you remember this? It's a kangaroo court. If you're accused, you're a college guy accused of like date rape. Do you remember? You're guilty. You have to prove you're innocent.

Obama made that change. Kangaroo courts. Screwed up a bunch of guys' lives, by the way. These investigations and their length are regulated by the state and federal government. The statement continues. That's what we need, more government. Like other universities across the country, we will strongly recommend that our students not join fraternities that are unaffiliated with USC. That's faggot stuff.

Yeah. You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags. I'm trying to picture I'm not affiliated. They still use the Greek names, but I don't know. They get an apartment over Arby's or something. I don't know how we're... Because those houses are awesome. We had these big old white...

It was fucking... There was a... We had a kitchen downstairs. Listen to this, folks. I went to a store way up in Maine, which is known for clams. Yeah. Come home from a fraternity party

with 12 beers in you. Go downstairs. It's 2 in the morning. And deep fry about 2 pounds of fresh clams. We had a fryer later. How many people get burned at 2 in the morning? Sitting on your bed at 2 in the morning, eating fried clams after a dozen beers,

and you get up, you're still ripped. How did that work? In fact, we would post the names of unaffiliated chapters online and actively, listen to how they're proactive at just attacking the fraternities, and actively dissuade students from joining such organizations. Yeah, we can take care of ourselves, is what they should say. Hey, folks, we do this thing called Cameo.

Let me roast your buddy or say happy birthday to your mom. Tell her to pick up her shoes. She left that in my bed through Cameo. I really like doing these, and Dallas has the link on the screen right now. Go there, and you can see some of the Cameos I've done and order one yourself. Or just go to Cameo and search me name. All right. Is this the final story?

There are white niggers. I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. And RTR reversed the racist segment tonight. Minneapolis Public Schools and the Minneapolis Federation of Teachers have come to an agreement that will, among other things, protect members of underrepresented populations

from possible layoffs at the expense of white teachers with more experience. Did you hear that? I'll say that again. In other words, black and brown people will not get fired, even if they have less experience than white teachers. Because, you know, some reason that people on the left are convinced that it's been fixed for so long. Not that the country was mostly white for so long and that societies and stuff like this evolve at their own pace. It has to be because of racism.

You fucking people. I don't like you very much. Okay? Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? Exactly. The two sides came to the agreement back in March to end a two-week strike. According to the Tennessee Star, the agreement contains specific language to protect non-white teachers in the event that the district needs to reduce or relocate teachers within the district. which designated, outlining, it's in quotes, designated program slash staff,

may receive an exemption from layoff, the agreement states, that certain teachers may be exempt from district-wide layoff outside of seniority order to remember the continuing effects of past discrimination. It's all done in the name of past discrimination. I feel so bad for this guy. Anyways, guess what? Such teachers who will be protected, you know. Who else?

Maybe Native Americans? That's what I would do if the teacher was Native American and a real lib. I'd get the whole class when she came in and do it. Just, hey, follow me. Mr. DePaulo, I'll see you at 3 o'clock. No, you won't. I'll be outside smoking a cigarette with these fucking potheads. Those working at one of the 15 racially isolated schools

with the greatest concentration of poverty. Members of populations underrepresented among... underrepresented. Yeah, white majority. Oh my God. But that's considered underrepresented. It's not all supposed to be

equal, you dinkweeds. Among licensed teachers in the district and alumni of historically black colleges and universities, otherwise known as historically black colleges, HBCU, tribal colleges, I had 99, 100 yards against, what's the all-black school that begins with an Howard? Scrimmage. And university and or Hispanic Association of College, anything but white, and universities, HACU programs. It can be a national model, and schools in other states are looking to emulate what we do. In other words, legalize discrimination against white people, are looking to emulate what we do. In other words, legalize discrimination against white people, said Edward

Barlow, a member of the fucking morons that I dress like a white guy black club. Federation of Teachers Executive Board. Even though it doesn't do... You're looking at a racist right there. Doesn't look it, doesn't sound it. Racist. It doesn't do everything

that we want it to do. It's still a huge move forward for the retention of teachers of color. In order to secure these race-based preferences, though other groups had to sacrifice some of their protections. Oh, is that what you call it? When white people do it, sacrificing their protections. It's not racism. The group mostly impacted by the move toward race-based protections is the group for which the union used to advocate most aggressively. That means white people. Those with the most seniority, which happen to be white people.

White teachers with the least seniority will now be accessed. You see how they have to change the words? they can't even say fired or suspended or released you see with the word george carlin had the best bid on that um accessed why don't you say sacked like they do in england now uh before teachers uh from underrepresented populations with less experience. Yeah, that seems fair. If I could, I'd grab this microphone and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve. Okay, Uncle Tom.

Wait, that made no sense. Anyways. That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, everything in between. Great to be with you. Remember to eat. My ass. Again, if you haven't moved over to Patreon from the Comics Gym, please do it now. As we're getting off that format at the end of this month, please do it.

A lot of people have done it, and we thank you very much. You're being very efficient. Before I go, I get thank yous, right? Sure I do. As I told you guys before, we're leaving the Comics Gym platform. We want to thank everyone that made the move back. I didn't know I was going to say that.

I just said that. To Patreon to continue the support to show. I want to thank Alex, our buddy, the bodybuilder with the biggest pipes you've ever seen, Lee Priest. What was that? Alex, Buddy the bodybuilder with the biggest pipes you've ever seen, Lee Priest. You fucking cat! What was that? You fucking cat!

I thought you said you fucking cat. You fucking cat! That's right. Joe Medrano, Hunter Biden's crack pipe. Mark Gag... I can't... The eyes look like L's. My eyes are all...

Mark Galgano. Douglas A. Arbrell. Jovan Vigiliano. God damn it, Vigiliano. Frazier Raymond III. Kevin B. O'Neill hat. Bill Shaw. I wonder if it's... Come here.

No, he's dead now. And Sir Jerry Curl. I get it. Jerry Curl. Come on, huh? They all signed up for a full year at Patreon. If you sign up for the full year, you get 10% discount and no annoying monthly fees. I also want to welcome our newest Patreon members.

This makes me excited, actually. Thomas Padgett. And then we got Colbio. You got to be kidding me. Colb. Thomas Padgett. And then we got Kobio. You got to be kidding me. Kobio Nakobani. Kenobi. Juan Kenobi? Kenobi?

Is that what it is? Kobio Nakobani. Kobio Nakobani. Holy shit. What, did you grow up in Japan? Kobio Nakobani. Thank you. Marco Greco.

Sean Baker. Scott Wellesley. Also, John Brumleave, or Brumleavy, I don't know, Patrick Stitz, Mark Hamblin, who signed up, I guess all these guys did, the last three, signed up for the full year, too. And a one-time contribution, our buddy Dave Hertz. So as you can see, folks, we're getting new people. We put a little effort into the marketing.

It's not easy, man. God bless the wife at home. She's got spreadsheets and shit and cross-referencing who has a different screen name. I couldn't. I really, honest to God. That is it. You guys think it. I will is it. You guys think it.

I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo Ever felt like you were born in the wrong decade? Or maybe it was the wrong dimension altogether. I'm on a mission. planet, I mean podcast, called In Our Own World. We'll navigate conversations about anything under the stars and maybe even pick up a few passengers along the way. Listen to In Our Own World on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Coca-Cola. There's magic when we eat together.