The Nick DiPaolo Show - 144 - DNC Disarray, E-Mail Leaks, Trump
Episode Date: July 26, 2016DNC Disarray, E-Mail Leaks, Trump...
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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on, kids?
How are you?
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And yeah, let's keep this train rolling, huh? Haven't talked to you in a while since the middle of last week. And every time we do these Monday shows,
I laugh because so much shit goes on,
you know,
because of the,
you know,
we're in the political season.
We're at the peak.
And between that and ISIS,
it's like,
Jesus,
I'd like to do a show with a few dick chokes and have some fun,
you know,
but that's the beauty of this show.
You get both.
We get fun and all right. Depressing
news. Thank you so much. As usual, top of the show to the contributors who contribute money
on top of the subscription. Feel free to do that. Aaron Calhoun, regular contributor. David
Daughtner. Thank you so much, David. Timothy Ewell. That's Timmy from Cincinnati.
Brandon Lowe.
Thank you so much, Brandon.
These are all multiple guys.
Kevin McArdle with another really fat contribution.
I think he just sent one in last week, too.
I mean, thank you guys all so much.
And that's the lifeblood.
It keeps it going.
And I appreciate that.
What is going on?
What isn't going on in the goddamn world?
I mean, since I spoke to you last,
I think the Trump acceptance speech, right?
We had another terror,
a couple of terror attacks in Germany.
Some psycho at a McDonald's.
Looks like he was just a mentally ill fucking nut
who was obsessed with mass killings.
And depends what you want to believe.
He said he was bullied as a kid.
And looking at his picture,
it doesn't look like the type of kid would be bullied,
but who knows?
But really, can you ever justify the sickness?
He killed nine people at a mall in Munich.
I think that was Saturday.
I can't even keep them straight.
It's like it comes out like sports scores now.
Then after that, a pregnant woman was pretty much hacked to death, I guess,
with a machete by some Syrian refugee in Germany again.
I mean, and then,
I'm not even getting them all.
Another guy get turned down
at some music festival.
They wouldn't let him in.
I think he was a refugee too
and blew himself up.
They think it was,
you know,
they don't know if it was a suicide or what.
But,
and then you had an attack in Afghanistan,
and the last count I had, it was like 140, 150, and it was still climbing, I mean, how are there
any people left, I mean, Jesus Christ, in the Middle East, between them killing themselves
and each other, it's something going on since I was in like second grade
that I can remember when I started watching the news.
It feels like there should be like 11 people left
in the Middle East total.
I mean, what the fuck?
What's the matter?
What's the world coming to?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't fucking know.
I mean, this is all since I talked to you last.
Jesus Christ.
Let's give it a rest.
Excuse me.
I was up about six in the bathroom this morning.
I made jerk chicken yesterday.
And, you know, an authentic recipe like theamaicans do it and the people in the islands
and it called for i don't know 15 to 20 scotch bonnet peppers and if you're familiar with those
it's just like holding a big lighter to your asshole when you're on the toilet that is the
end result it was i cooked the stuff on the grill it was it was the best jerk chicken i've ever had
sorry my jamaican friends all three of them uh i mean holy shit
i i i my wife couldn't eat it was way too hot for her like her nose is running her eyes are
running i'm eating it like it was candy she's like you're gonna pay and i'm like nah i
don't know lately i've been getting away with this stuff uh right before i go to bed you guys you
feel anything yet i got numb i'm fine i must ate a whole chicken, cut up chicken. I think there was, you know,
a fucking half a wing left. And, uh, like I said, she couldn't eat it. So I'm, I'm bragging. As I
go to bed, I go, nah, I feel good. You can't handle this stuff. All of a sudden I opened my
eyes about five or six this morning. I felt like I was having triplets 40 pounds each baby and uh these searing paint
and i mean jesus i was in the bathroom right about 45 minutes and not to get too graphic but
jesus christ did that hurt it must be like childbirth right ladies i'm sure you can compare it to that, although with the Zika fly now, like I said, you know,
you get pregnant and you get bit with the Zika fly and you can have a baby with an M&M
head, so that's not that painless to squirt out a kid with a little M&M head, but oh my
God, I was in fucking serious pain this morning.
And see, the seeds actually touch your asshole on the way out.
That's what my mechanic told me.
No, that's what.
But I'm not exaggerating.
15 to 20 scotch bonnet peppers.
You put it all in a blender.
You know, you guys have made jerk chicken, I'm sure.
And it was tremendous.
A little bit of, you know, it had allspice in it.
Garlic, scallions, regular onions, soy sauce.
Crazy, crazy fucking good.
On the grill, it's 110.
I'm out there.
And you could melt copper.
You could melt pennies in my asshole right now.
That's all I'm saying.
I just wanted to get that out.
Why do you start with a...
Well, I don't know.
I guess I can segue right into this story before we get to the politics the dnc falling apart on day one of the convention as you know
over the weekend the bunch of those emails were leaked from guccifer or whatever whoever the
russians that hacked into the and uh oh my god they have set off a firestorm and the fucking
the democrats all those jerk offs on tv who are making fun of the Republican National Convention and how, oh, they're a little disorganized and blah, blah, blah.
There's no unity there.
Oh, wait till we talk about those suckers of Satan's cocks.
I mean, oh, that dirty cocksucker.
Exactly.
But speaking of chicken stories, I wanted to get this real quick.
I was laughing my ass off right before I went on.
I saw this.
A 30-year-old man headbutted his mother in the face because she brought home Chick-fil-A for dinner, cop says.
His name's Derek Foreman, this kid.
They got his mug photo in there.
He's got like a bandage on the bridge of his fucking nose.
Oh,
God. How funny
is this?
Yeah.
He's nursing a boo-boo.
He got Thursday night after headbutting his mother in the
face during a confrontation
at the Oak Crest Manufactured
Home Community. You can just tell
right there. It might be some hillbilly type
white trash. Boy, Florida's
filled with some scary people, isn't it?
He
batted his 55-year-old parent.
Jesus Christ.
You want to say, I don't...
Defendant and victim
had a verbal disagreement because
the victim brought home Chick-fil-A
and the defendant did not want to eat Chick-fil-A.
Faced with fast food grub, Foreman
became upset, headbutted his mother,
causing her bottom lip to split.
Investigators
alleged Foreman was arrested
for domestic battery
misdemeanor and having a horrible
taste in fast food restaurants because
Chick-fil-A is fucking delicious if you know anything about it.
If my mommy brought me home Chick-fil-A, I'd give her a kiss on the forehead.
And I'm not even from Hillbilly Town. So he was booked into the county jail
and after a hearing was released and directed
to have no contact with his mother other than, you know, the usual finger popping
on Friday night. A judge also ordered Foreman to be outfitted with a device that monitors
his alcohol intake.
Jesus Christ.
What kind of country
are we living in?
What's the world coming to?
Anyways,
I thought that dovetailed beautifully
from my jerk chicken story.
God, I'm going to have it today from my jerk chicken story. Gotta.
I'm going to have it today, too, after I work out.
You know, I don't mind getting the shits.
It's the only time I look ripped.
You know how that works?
I'm sure you do.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
So Trump accepted.
I think I hadn't done a show to that point, right?
I only did three last week i believe i do
believe but uh he was like uh he had the r of a nice all the libs of shit in their pants oh he
was like hitler again what's his name what's the guy that does a documentary burns ken burns that
self-hating white loathing just a self-hating white guy can't do a documentary he could do a documentary about
fucking cowbells and it'd have to bring black people into it just he can't fucking help himself
but of course he came out with that brilliant that brilliant comparison of trump and hitler
nobody's thought of that yet yeah just and how about his members daughter made a fucking whole
documentary about rape but it
didn't really it only gave one side of the story that's what a hitler like isn't it yeah sure it is
kenny is that your name i don't even know if it's ken anyways uh yeah trump so he was scared shit
of trump speech trump was up there oh that fucking laughing he'd give it deliver a lot he's got to learn to
be able to read a speech these these you know he does these three word clips at a time you got to
be able to please put the whole sentence together i i know you're going to simplify the working folk
but and i i appreciate that but that speech could have been done in 40 fucking minutes flat but um
anyways uh and i was just laughing he'd deliver a line we get a round of applause he'd step back fucking minutes flat. But anyways.
I was just laughing.
He'd deliver a line.
We get a round of applause.
He'd step back from the podium then look to the right.
Actually turn to the left.
Bow.
Turn to the right and bow.
And people are scared of him.
But the whole hour
and seven minute speech
pretty much be summed up
with this line right here.
I am your voice
and that goes for me for this show i say to you at the top of the show i am your voice
anyways it was fucking hilarious you know uh he hit all the points he trashed hillary like he shouldn't pointed out all the shit that's going wrong in the country and people go oh that's too
dark and gloomy uh sorry you have to don't let the truth hit you in the fucking ass over there
you big girls cops being shot fucking people being
gunned down in nightclubs but don't bring that up that's uh that's too doom and gloom bring us hope
and change your motherless fuck your head bring us some hope and change fucking loved it it was uh
based in uh it was uh what they call you know my wife always says you're too negative. You're such a fucking pessimist.
No, I'm a fucking realist.
Jesus Christ.
Get with it, will you?
Get with it, I say.
Oh, that dirty cocksucker.
But anyhow, Ted Cruz spoke.
And did we go over this?
This is my memory so bad.
I don't think so, right?
I only did, all this shit went down on Thursday, didn't it?
Please tell me.
Do we talk about Cruz?
He was, you know, he didn't endorse and he didn't endorse Trump.
And I don't fucking blame him.
I got to be honest with you.
Okay.
And again, and full disclosure, I voted for Cruz during the primaries just because there's
nobody out there right wing enough for me.
voted for Cruz during the primaries just because there's nobody out there right-wing enough
for me.
And
you know, he didn't endorse and
they started to get, he went too long
and they started to boo him off the stage.
But
you know,
everybody making a big deal of it. Trump
and all the people, they get to see the speech
beforehand, so it's no fucking
big deal.
But he was getting, but like I said,
if you make fun of my wife's looks,
I'm not going to fucking open a door for you at a restaurant.
Never mind endorse you for president of the United States.
So I don't give a shit.
I like people who go against the grain, okay?
And he, so I don't give a shit. I like people who go against the grain, okay? And,
and he, so Cruz wouldn't, he said, vote your conscience. And by the way, if you vote for Hillary, you have no conscience. Can I throw that in there, you fucking knuckleheads?
And we bending over backwards to put a fucking woman in the office or what?
Between the fucking, you know, between the FBI caving to political pressure,
doing everything but indicting her.
She fucking committed felonies.
She lied on the oath.
We all got to look the other way.
And now, and we're going to get this in a few seconds,
all these leaks coming out.
The DNC, the computers hacked into,
and all these leaks coming out and seeing what a rigged game it was.
And Bernie Sanders was fucking right, right from minute one.
I mean, can we do enough to put this bitch in the fucking Oval Office?
Letting her slip, fucking letting her commit felonies.
Fucking rigging the system.
I can hear the lesbians out there now.
That's what you have to do to get a woman in office.
When I say lesbians, they don't even like her.
What am I saying?
It's more like fucking women in their 50s who like her.
But yeah, can we break our back?
I told you, and I always say it on this show.
No more, and you can ask Colin Quinn and everybody,
no more dangerous fucking insidious movement than the
feminist movement. The power
they have, whether it's in the fucking newsrooms
at the networks or whatever, is just
fucking frightening. Anything
to get a slit.
Don't be so fucking rude, Nick.
In the Oval Office.
If she had an
ounce of fucking integrity,
this thick-ankled dog face,
she would fucking resign.
From what? I don't know.
She would step down as the candidate and say,
you know what, this is embarrassing.
I don't deserve it.
Put good old Bernie up there.
They must be pissed, the fucking real...
The base has to be like, what the fuck?
In all the polls bernie was
beating trump remember but no debbie fucking wasserman fucking scary greasy haired schultz
fucking pulling all the strings and boy did she pay but uh thank you oh the other thing i wanted
to get to real quick about uh they keep talking about Trump's ego after the speech.
All the fucking, you know, leftist douchebags on CNN and MSNBC.
I keep hearing it on the Sunday morning about his fucking ego.
Because he said, I am the one alone that can fix these problems or whatever.
And we keep hearing about, and yeah, he does got a big ego. And he's
narcissistic and so is fucking
Obama. Do I have to
remind you of this speech in 2008
when his inauguration speech or whatever?
Listen to the fucking,
listen to the grandiose terms he throws around on this one.
This was the moment
when the rise of the oceans
began to slow and our planet
began to heal.
Oh, my God.
Do you believe this shit?
Take it easy, Hillary.
He's gone.
You don't have to worry about it anymore.
He's going to heal the planet and the oceans are going to recede.
The tides are going to recede.
And oh, my God.
And here we are in a billion pieces
um couldn't be more divided as a nation and the world's on fire and uh the world is on fire
anyhow talk about fucking egos are you kidding me and even the press was saying remember when
they first started following him how how narcissistic he was?
And come on, guys in love with themselves.
You have to be to take on a job like that.
And yeah, Trump is all those things, too.
So the fuck what?
If you want, if you don't want that vote for somebody like Tim Kaine.
Anyways.
We'll get to him in a few seconds.
Seems like, you know how I know he's a decent guy?
The fucking bass is furious.
Not liberal enough, I guess.
Hillary looked happy.
Her big fucking brown pantsuit.
Duck feet.
God, I've got so much material here.
I can't, I don't know where to fucking, where to start.
But yeah, I don't blame Ted Cruz going, fuck you, I'm not going to endorse you.
But I want to see his career, his political career.
I don't know.
But you never know what happens in the world, right?
But things can change.
But how about this?
This is a bit, this cracked me up too.
The DNC, they erected a four, four mile,-tall fence around the Philly convention site this week.
Isn't that ironic?
Isn't that ironic, huh?
Walls don't help.
Fences won't help on the border.
What a fucking...
You know, they want to keep the average Americans away from their convention.
But when it comes to you people living in Arizona, on the border,
wherever, Texas, whatever,
let your kids be fucking beaten and raped in your front lawn.
Fences are wrong.
They're, you know...
Yeah.
Four-mile fence.
That's a big-ass fence around the Fargo Center.
Eight feet tall.
I haven't put on the TV today.
I can't wait to see this, people trying to climb over it like Bernie supporters.
By the way, hey, wasn't very violent, was it, in Cleveland?
They must have put down some serious, some serious, the cops weren't playing.
There's some serious security there.
There's a couple, you know, arrests, scuffles and shit.
The usual dickheads.
But, yeah.
So, if you guys are in Philly, if you're going to the convention,
the fence is erected near the intersection of Patterson and Broad.
You know the Broad Street bullies?
Guess who? It'll be the Democrats now?
Acres and acres of fence.
That's what somebody put on Twitter
who visited the wall around the DNC convention.
This is classic, isn't it?
They must have known what they were putting up.
They're going to go,
boy, we're going to catch some shit for this,
huh, for being hypocrites.
You know, it's the same
shit. Yeah, no, we have to take
away too many guns in the world, but everybody who says that
is being guarded by 20 people with a gun.
Don't build a fence on the
border. Meanwhile, the White House is fucking
surrounded by a fence. Just
hypocritical suckers
of satan's cock each and every one of them oh that dirty cocksucker yeah any who any hangang
so how about the leaks you know we'll get to debbie wasserman schultz in a second stepping down
she's a political hack anyways she used to fuck i'd grind my teeth every time i saw her
just i can't believe she lasted five years.
Only in this feminist loving world could that happen.
But she resigned yesterday.
People wanted her,
had been wanting her to step down for fucking years
because she sucked at what she did.
And if she was a fella,
she would have been fucking fired years ago.
Don't you think?
Hillary, are you with me?
That's right, you big fucking bitch.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Here are some of the WikiLeaks released.
20,000
on Friday.
Emails were released
that were hacked into.
Oh, this is fucking priceless.
This list I'm reading from was compiled
thanks to the work of Reddit
Bernie Sanders supporters and Donald
Trump supporters. Ooh, they're working together
for a better America.
Oh, the Dems
have to be furious. Like I
said, Bernie, you know, I mean, every
poll, remember when they when they
were still running the primaries are going on he was like beating fucking trump in every poll
and now they're stuck with this this old lady who has the charisma of a pair of fucking great
things balls makes no sense anyways uh i'm not even gonna get into get into the nuts and bolts of each leak. I'm just going to read you the headlines of a few of these email leaks.
DNC member killing horses for insurance money.
Some guy paid to have his horse electrocuted, and he was going to speak at some.
DNC making fun of black women's name.
And you're going to go, well, come on, Nick.
You fucking do shit like
yeah I do
I don't but I don't pretend
to fucking
represent black people
and have their best
interests in mind
I'm a fucking comedian
this is the party
the DNC
the party of the
African Americans
and
apparently they're making
fun of your names
black ladies
Leticia and apparently they're making fun of your names, black ladies.
Leticia.
Who ever heard of Leticia?
Aisha.
Here's another headline at DNC telling each other in one of the WikiLeaks emails,
I love you too, no homo, it says.
Again, this is the feely, touchy Democratic party who pretends to have your back gay folks but uh they're making fun of you too uh here's another one dnc requesting
a poll uh pull an msnbc commentary segment that was the most fascinating thing to me with these
leaks just how in bed they are like one of them even chuck taught him meet
the press he's fucking shameless he goes yeah i got one saying you know they were pissed at me
i think debbie wasman schultz said we need to talk or whatever yeah dnc controlling the narrative
with time released to stories dnc conspiring to create false trump information. And release it with Reuters. See.
It's uh.
Can we finally agree now.
My lib friends in show business.
Quit trying to deny. That the fucking media.
And the Democratic Party.
Aren't one and the fucking same.
And if you didn't have control of the media.
You wouldn't even.
You'd never win an election.
That's the truth of it.
Because your ideas blow.
DNC conspiring to create false Trump information.
Really, I just read that.
DNC members going to complain to Morning Joe producers about his mentioning of a rigged system.
Can you imagine?
They go right to the networks and go, hey, you can't say that.
You can't fucking say that.
You can't say it.
You can't say that about my, you can't say it. You can't fucking say that. You can't say it. You can't say that about my, about my, you can't say it. You can't. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. Oh,
Uncle Junior. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. I didn't even touch that twice uh dnc and another uh leaked email discussing their relationship with
nbc slash msnbc slash cnn and how to get better treatment are you how to get better treatment
are you kidding me what are they using their teeth when they suck your dick? Debbie? Huh? How could you
get better treatment? Un-fucking-believable. That's hilarious. Super PAC paying young voters
to push back online Sanders supporters. Paige Hields.
Then you can click on these and read in fucking detail.
I only do an hour show.
How about Debbie
Wasserman Schultz, real piece of ass,
having an off-the-record
meeting in MSNBC
President Phil Griffin's office.
Wow, they're not...
Does that happen? does trump get to
go into the head of uh dnc being uh messed with by the washington exam a dnc discussing hillary's
policies as unfeasible uh 200k for a private dinner with hillary offering to send interns
out to fake a protest against the RNC.
You're the fucking problem.
You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble.
I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.
I promise you.
Not this time.
Not this time, Hillary.
Not this time, you thick-angled dog face, you leathery nipple bitch.
Not this time.
Not this time.
Possible money laundering by moving money back and forth to bypass legal limits oh they all do that nick yeah whatever you're gonna
be fucking uh political writer sending his stories to the dnc before he sends them to his own editor
boy you know you know you're not fucking the media's not in the bag for the democrat part
dnc feeding cnn the questions they want to be asked in interviews.
Oh, my fucking word.
Oh, that dirty cogsucker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where am I? There's so many of them
a mole working inside of the sanders campaign they had bringing up sanders religion to scare the southern voters yeah some guy named marshall said hey uh can we get to i think he's an atheist
and uh you should bring that up because it would really piss off the people in West Virginia and where the hell else?
Creating a fake job ad for a Trump business to paint him as a sexist.
They did that on Craigslist.
did that on craig craigslist you know it was like ad saying wanted fucking uh you know hot chicks with nice legs who won't uh complain when i grab their ass you know something i'm paraphrasing
but uh just fucking dirty tricks um clinton foundation quid pro quo where he's a lingering
will be exploited in general you can't make it up.
Okay?
I hope your people on Trump's team have taken note to this shit.
They're worried about you going after the Clinton Foundation.
That's got to be coming soon.
I mean, I don't see, like I said,
and I predicted this, what, months ago on this show,
I said by the fall, Trump will be ahead by 15 points.
Let me rephrase that.
He'll be up by 40 points if there's
any justice in the world.
And again, folks,
I'll say it. I didn't even vote for him in the primaries. I'm just
saying. I'm voting by default.
But he won me over. When did he win
you over, Nick? When he started making fun of the
disabled reporter. I'm a comedian.
Don't forget. I fell off the fucking couch laughing
my ass off.
BuzzFeed and DNC Connection.
Draft linking news articles about Trump to use as negative press.
They got the fucking press doing their dirty work for them.
It's just outrageous.
Excuse me.
The fact that she hasn't fucking stepped down.
Hey, you guys, if you can hear a little white noise,
that's a fan I have blowing on me.
Can you hear that?
Let me shut that off.
See if it makes a difference.
Well, all righty then.
So need I go on?
Press talking points.
States Hillary is their candidate.
Can you imagine?
This is the DNC.
This is a Democrat.
They're supposed to represent, you know, everybody.
Bernie, anybody who's running. And they got their fists so far up her, I was going to say vagina,
but Hillary's got a big nut sack um that was dated may 5th uh there was a here's another one consultant
calling megan kelly a bimbo has pdf attached that says the same
uh democrats using interns to organize fake protests And on and on and on it goes.
See, these are Russian hackers.
And Robbie Mook, you know who that is?
That's Hillary's campaign manager.
Young fella, another soft white guy.
Everybody just seems slightly gay.
Every white guy involved behind the scenes with Hillary.
And I'm sure i'm just
imagining that but uh um he was on uh one of the sunday morning shows and um he has a theory
about the hack the hacking you know by the russians and uh gifer, whoever. And here's his theory.
This is CNN.
He's on with Jake Tapper.
Evidence is there that the Russians were behind this in terms of the hacking or in terms of
the timing by WikiLeaks.
Well, we need to let the experts speak on this.
It's been reported on in the press that the hackers that got into the DNC are very likely to be working
in coordination with Russia.
And again, I think if the Russians, in fact, had these emails, again, I don't think it's
very coincidental that they're being released at this time to create maximum damage on Hillary
Clinton and to help Donald Trump.
But it's a very, very strong charge that you're leveling here. You're basically suggesting that Russians hacked into the DNC and now are
releasing these files through WikiLeaks to help elect Donald Trump. Well, this isn't my assertion.
There are a number of experts. Experts. This is the third time he said experts. Can you name
some of these? Can we get specific? Experts. Who would that be? People I hang out with at a DNC.
We were at a bar last night, and one of them said,
I think the fucking Russians are in Trump's pocket.
And that was the expert.
The experts.
Who are the experts?
Who are the experts?
Who are you talking about?
You know, the experts.
I can't say who.
We're in collusion with them, too.
It's a nice theory they're trying to put out.
See, you put that theory out there, and then, you know, it changes the subject of, you know,
puts the onus on, it's a distraction.
You know, they're not even good at it anymore.
They're not even good.
You know, it's the same.
They're not even good at it anymore.
They're not even good.
...that are asserting this.
I think we need to get to the bottom of these facts.
But that is what experts are telling us.
Experts have said that it is the Russians that in fact went in and took these emails.
And then if...
You need to shut the fuck up.
The experts.
The experts.
See?
So in other words, never mind Hillary and this thing being rigged.
It's rigged for Donald Trump.
You can't say, see that? That's how they can take that argument off the table.
Hey, who knows in this world, but I'm guessing that's a bunch of horseshit. I might be wrong.
Could be wrong, but what a fucking horrible young guy too. Like I said, if you're a guy
and you're voting for Hillary, you're not a guy.
You have a big, sloppy badge down there.
You don't even know it yet.
And so all this turmoil.
What is it?
Let me, here's a couple.
I just wanted to get into a few specific emails. One of the emails said a DNC staff asking how they can reference Bernie Sanders' faith to weaken him in the eyes of Southern voters.
Another seems to depict an attorney advising the committee on how to defend Hillary Clinton against an accusation by the Sanders campaign of not living up to joint fundraising.
That's beautiful yeah on may 5th the dnc employee asked colleagues to get get someone to
ask his belief get someone see how they are in bed with the media get someone to ask his belief
in god and suggest that it could make a difference in kentucky and west virginia
santa's name is uh not mentioned in the note this could make several yeah i wonder who they
were talking about burt convie uh this could make several points difference with my peeps.
My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist.
DNC chief financial officer Brad Marshall wrote. Marshall did not respond to a Crespo comment.
I bet the fuck he didn't. Probably hiding behind that eight foot wall.
to a Crespo comment.
And I bet the fuck he didn't.
Probably hiding behind that eight foot wall.
Ah.
Ha ha ha.
Holy moly.
So, um, yeah.
So, Debbie Wasserman Schultz
fucking resigned.
Like, she was gonna stick around
even after all this.
She was gonna open the convention
and then close it
and then step down.
But there was so much hate for her
inside the Democratic Party
that she had to resign Sunday night.
Somebody got her in a fucking
naked chokehold.
Excuse me.
I'm smoking cigarettes
after I work out.
I think Schwarzenegger did that.
Ice coffee. after i work out i think swartzenegger did that iced coffee anyhow uh yeah so she had to step down and it was beautiful because i think this morning she
tried to speak in front of her florida florida delegates i'm talking about debbie washam and uh
in front of her Florida delegates.
I'm talking about Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
And this is how that went.
Good morning, Florida!
Can you imagine having to go out there,
fucking knowing everybody, not everybody,
a lot of people in the room hate your guts, and you got to put on that fake fucking dog shit smile,
like I do when I come out on stage,
and go, how are ya?
Half these people want to fucking slice her throat.
But listen to the,
she couldn't even get control of the room.
She was like a weak feature act.
It's so wonderful to be able to be here
with my home state
Alright everybody now, settle down
Everybody settle down please
Alright, we have a big program
We have a big program today
Let's hear, let's be respectful
Please be quiet so Demi can speak.
Tell me how to go today.
Another woman had to step in with a gavel.
Please, you got to, you guys, you got to cut it out.
She's not that much of a cunt.
Come on.
Give her a chance, for Christ's sake.
She did a good job for
five years they say obama they see uh obama wasn't happy with her a while ago but he didn't want to
can her he didn't want to deal with the fucking fallout like a year ago they said last october
whenever and he didn't uh he didn't want to fucking get his hands dirty you know so he said no
fucking put it in Hillary's lap.
I can't blame him there.
Anywho.
So I'm going to miss her.
But it says she's going to stay on at some type of advisor
during the campaign and shit.
Really?
Wow.
Fucking shameless.
Folks, again,
if you like the show,
go to connectpal.com slash Nick.
Connectpal.com slash Nick.
Put two to three more shows a week.
$3.99 a month.
You know what's funny is some of her critics passed around a tweet that
Washington Schultz sent.
She sent it last week to her counterpart at the Republican National Committee, Rince Priebus.
He heads up, you know, the RNC.
And she said, hey, Rince, I'm in Cleveland.
If you need another chair to help keep your convention in order. tell me rent fucking wasn't sitting in front of his tv jacking it all weekend just
laughing his balls off oh my god and i gotta figure hey it's a hundred it's a hundred degrees
in philly have you ever been in fucking Philly?
I have.
I've been in Philly in the middle of July and August because I've played that city many times.
And I've been there when it's 101 and shit.
You might as well be in fucking Vietnam as far as the humidity and shit.
It is brutal.
And I'm telling you, I'm hoping a bunch of pissed off Bernie supporters get out there.
Oh, and they tear down that wall,
Mrs. President. I don't see how it's not going to get ugly. Philly, the tension goes up in
Philly on just a normal day when there's no fucking nothing going on in Philly. When it
gets up to 100 in Philly on a Tuesday, you can feel the tension. People just want to punch each other in the face.
I can imagine what the fuck's going on.
Can't wait to watch the TV tonight.
After I work out, because my hiney's getting really wide and hairy.
Anyhow, Debbie Wasserman Schultz getting booed as she's trying to speak it was like watching porn it was
it was absolutely delicious um let's hear from some of the bernie fans uh now that it's official
they they knew it was rigged and they were getting fucked in the ass but uh it's like uh like when
you hear that hey your girlfriend uh you hit through the grapevine has been cheating on you
and you know you fucking you don't want to believe it and shit. And then you see her, you know, face pressed up against some guy's window on the fifth floor.
And her tits are pushing against the glass as some guy's banging her from behind.
I think we've all been there, haven't we?
Sure we have.
Okay.
But, yes, here's a few interviews with Bernie supporters.
And now that it's, you know, now we have confirmation,
the whole thing was rigged.
Not that we really didn't know either way.
When I say we, I'm not putting myself as a Bernie supporter.
I'm just saying.
He was great on the Sunday shows.
He showed, Bernie showed a lot of our class.
W. Wasserman Schultz should step down and we should proceed.
As I was saying on the show months ago, the game is rigged.
I wish he went on.
She's a lying twat.
I said that.
She's a lying twat.
I'd like to kick her in the nuts if I see her.
I could have beat Trump.
Everybody knows that.
But this fucking greasy blonde-haired twat's own fucked it up for me.
But here's some of Bernie fans being interviewed.
And I wonder how they feel.
My message is to Hillary Clinton, drop out.
You have made a mockery of our democracy.
She's not a progressive candidate, and I don't intend to vote for her in November.
I'll be voting for Jill Stein if the Democratic establishment
has their way and proceeds
with the coronation of Hillary, despite
the will of the people being behind Bernie Sanders.
How would you describe
Hillary in your own words?
I think I'll go with Donald Trump's on this one.
She's crooked.
She's part of the Clinton crime family, and
she needs to be put in prison right away. She's part of the Clinton crime family, and she needs to be put in prison right away.
She's part of the Clinton crime family.
We have the Salazos.
I'm glad you guys could make it from Jersey.
My son has to hide out in Sicily because of the Salazo business,
but let's listen to Mrs. Clinton.
She has things to say.
What her and Debbie Wasserman chose to do
to all of the voters in this country
is unfathomable.
They haven't put her in jail yet.
Hillary Clinton's followers.
Can I ask you folks a question?
When did we start dropping the T
in words? Hillary Clinton.
I saw a white
and I said this on stage at carolines and thank you guys for
coming out by the way it was a fun weekend at carolines and uh for the middle of the summer
it's tough to get people in there and you know what it was uh it was damn fucking fun and uh
clinton i actually saw a white ankle woman i swear to god in her fucking 50s and she the guy's name
was martin in the story she goes and john, are you fucking, are we that media driven?
You don't even know who you, you don't even have, you've lost who you are.
Really?
We glorify in ignorance.
You happy that you sound illiterate?
And I didn't do it.
Like Christopher, even Christopher Moltisanti, but he was a street kid on the Sopranos.
He goes, Tony,
I didn't. I didn't.
God, did that fucking infuriate me.
But these are just Bernie supporters, so it's understandable, the young people.
Of no problem, and they have denied
election. This lady's like 60.
Hillary Clinton is in a syndicate.
She's in a syndicate.
She's controlling or attempting to control all of our
government, and no one seems to care about it. I care. I'm out. If you're in government, you're in a syndicate.
All sides.
I want to defend my right to vote.
I don't want government corruption.
Just the picture of corruption.
You're probably about the fourth person I've interviewed today since I came.
Well, I mean, she's been corrupt since 92 when Bill was elected.
And now it's just getting that much worse.
I mean, she made, what, $21 million from speaking to different banks and Wall Streeters?
Different banks?
Why do you think a lot of those speaking fees were kickbacks or deals?
I think anyone who doesn't is naive.
Now listen, Hillary Clinton, I didn't vote for you.
This lady, this is the one,
this lady talking now,
she was the first one too.
She's like,
she's like in her 60s.
She looks like she smokes
three packs a day.
She's from Michigan
and the fucking hate
in her eyes for Hillary.
I was belly laughing
watching her,
this feisty little woman.
Oh, hey,
I voted for Obama
because he wasn't you.
You know what?
You're a liar.
You're a cheat. We don't raise
our children to act this way. And you're going to further it? You got superdelegates that you
bought before the election? I'm in Michigan, Hillary. We uncrowned you, you fracking queen.
And I'm going to tell you what, all you superdelegates that are standing behind you in
Michigan, the finger isn't on them when it comes August and November to vote.
We're voting you out.
We're going for a new Congress.
You don't win anything because we're not going away.
Our job is just beginning, and our job is to shut you down.
F you, Hillary Clinton.
And all day I've known... F you, Hillary Clinton.
I smoke 12 packs of unfiltered Paul Malls a day.
You're not going to tell me what the fuck I don't?
You fracking queen.
She's too, you know, she's into frackingacking we're only sitting on the largest national reserve of
fucking natural gas and oh but some flames came out of a woman's sink in michigan let's shut it
down shut the fuck up let's start it up let's be independent of those greasy uh arabs anyways what
you heard me but that was some of bernie. And a small, a small, a small percentage will jump to Trump.
But not very, come on.
And when you're pulling for a socialist, you know what I mean?
It's quite a leap to go from that to a billionaire capitalist businessman.
You know what I mean?
Trump is everything every fucking hippie hates.
Did you say hippie? Yes, I did, mother is everything every fucking hippie hates. Did you say hippie?
Yes, I did, motherless fucks.
Anyhow, Chris Matthews, the definition of a self-hating, white, liberal, ball-less, motherless fucking puss.
From Philly, by the way.
puss um from philly by the way and uh remember he got the fucking tingle up his uh vagina when he saw obama speak for the first time his nipples uh tingled and his uh clitoris yes uh well of
course he had a take on what's going to happen when hillary speaks this thursday night and
accepts the the uh thing with their giant muff pants.
But here's Chris Matthews, Kevin Milktoast, I call him.
Here we go.
There's going to be a magic moment in this convention.
It's going to be Thursday night.
And there are going to be misty eyes all across the country.
And any men at that moment who make a wisecrack are going to guarantee another vote for Hillary Clinton.
I think it's a very emotional moment for people.
They haven't quite got to because of all this mishegoss that's going on this year. I think it's a very emotional moment for people. They haven't quite got to because of all this
mishegast that's going on this year.
I think it's going to be magical.
And if Hillary Clinton just stands there
with a little emotion, this is an amazing,
historic moment.
Fucking quiz!
The guy was a cop.
And he's like, yeah, it's going to be an amazing moment
on this felon.
Really?
Are you that fucking jaded?
You see what happens when you stay in the beltway that long?
Really?
I think he was a cop at one time.
Am I right?
Chris Matthews' cop?
Just fucking sure.
She's a felon in a pantsuit, but it's going to be amazing.
And if you're a guy and you make a wisecrack when she's giving that speech, that's going to be another vote for Hillary.
I don't even know what that means.
Who?
First of all, how are you going to hear me when I'm calling her at home?
Who are you talking about?
The pundits?
That's what he's going to be talking about.
How could there be another vote for Hillary?
Oh, my God.
He really is.
Him and Ken Burns ought to get a room together and do a nice 69 on the bed for
a fucking couple hours swallow each other's fucking white hating dna anyhow hillary how do
you feel ah shut it shut it oh my god i shut that fan off it's about 190 fucking degrees
celsius again connectpal.com slash Nick
to subscribe to the show.
Timmy Kane.
Timmy Kane
was picked by Hillary
as the vice presidential
running mate.
And the base isn't happy
because he's reasonable
and shit that he works across the aisle.
Senator from Virginia.
Bup, bup, bup.
You know, they differ on a few things.
But, you know, seems like a mild-mannered fella.
And they were like, you should have went with a giant dyke.
The half-Indian woman from Cambridge.
Warren.
You know, Elizabeth Warren, 6'3", Cherokee.
And, you know, this guy's way too moderate for the party.
And so we shall see how that works out.
Timmy Cain.
Like I said, I've seen him on TV before, and that's how I know he must be a decent guy.
Because he always, but he's, you know.
But the people who know him say, no, no, he's very progressive behind the scenes, blah, blah, blah.
It's a good pick, and it'll balance out her fucking cuntiness, because he's a nice guy, you know.
And so we shall see.
And so we shall see.
It's funny, the two, like Trump and, you know, Trump picked Pence because that guy is, you know, like a glass of milk, cup of vanilla, just to, you know, tone it down. And, you know, Trump and Hillary, they're like a bottle of Tabasco or jerk chicken.
And, you know, you got to balance the ticket.
But like they said, people are upset.
They don't think he's, you know, far enough left.
That's what we need, more liberalism, because it's going so well after the last eight years, right?
Yeah, more liberals.
You guys have fucking any eyes in your head out there?
years right yeah more liberals you guys have fucking any eyes in your head out there anyhow uh let's wrap it up with something light and uh fantastic
what i'm dying to go upstairs and uh
finish the rest of that chicken i'll try to be in pain tonight too um how about this girls are ganging
up on boys a new cyber bullying craze called roasting the experts warn a lot of experts in
the show today you notice they're calling it roasting girls are in ganging up on boys yeah
on the internet a digital safety expert is want now when you're a digital uh safety expert do you wear the
vest the orange reflecting vest when you're sitting at your computer and doing your job
your big dinks the new bullying takes place via mobile apps such as whatsapp instagram or facebook
where girls pick on a boy invent the most offensive abuse until the victim completely cracks.
Yay for feminism.
Yay.
Yay for feminism.
You've created little cunts.
A generation.
Yeah, until the boy cracks.
This form of cyberbullying can also involve boys ganging up on girls
or turning against each other
in very nasty ways,
experts have warned.
Really?
You know what it sounds like?
It sounds like
they're insulting each other.
That's what roasting is.
I'm glad they use
the term roasting.
I'll build that legacy.
Teachers and parents
at leading private schools
have been warned
to be aware of this
new form of cyber bullying this is so typical this is just so funny yes i know there are kids
who are like do get bullied and and kids have committed suicide and shit very rare cases but
to bust each other to bust each other's balls online um you know it sounds like what kids do
they just want we're trying to make the world risk-free
and it's never gonna be it's a tough place the world your kids are gonna get insulted
if they're fat kids are gonna say shit ba ba ba yes i know like i said there's rare cases where
it can end badly but um you know even the kids know to call it roasting uh yeah teachers and uh
parents of private schools have been warned to be aware
of this new form as it tends to happen outside adult oversight because teenagers regard it as
just one level up from banter yeah because that's what it is that's exactly what it is
they know more than you do the warnings followed research by a nonprofit motivational organization, DoSomething.com.
Why do you not do something?
I'm going to start a website, sit the fuck down and mindyourbusiness.com,
which suggested that girls are almost twice as likely as boys to be both victims and perpetrators of cyberbullying,
as boys tend to be more involved in physical bullying.
I used to do a line in my act because every day I'd pick up the paper and it said cyberbullying is out of draw.
And I go, I don't know.
I think I'd rather be bullied over the Internet than in person the way I was.
I'd rather have somebody write something mean on my wall than put me through a fucking wall.
But both boys and girls have killed themselves recently due to cyberbullying. Charlotte Robinson of Online Safety Consultants Digital Awareness UK said roasting was prominent among pupils of leading independent schools as well as in state schools across the country.
What is that?
You were saying what?
Rich white kids?
Speaking to the Daily Telegraph, Mrs. Robinson, whose company provides advice to independent girls schools, including those in Girls' Day School Trust.
This is in England.
Roasting is done under the guise of good humor, which is why it is so dangerous because it is often done among friends.
Okay?
What did I say to you on the last show?
I hope it was here, or maybe I was talking to somebody on the phone.
But there are people in the world, literally, who want to take the fun out of life, period.
Seriously, they're out to crush your fucking fun.
Far leftist pusses.
Roasting is done under the guise of good humor.
Because it is fucking good humor.
Which is why it's so dangerous because it is often done among
friends. Yes.
Busting balls when I was in
fifth grade, I had an acid tongue. So did my
friends.
And I remember little girls calling
me a greasy guinea and me laughing.
You know.
Someone would
just lay into someone else and completely humiliate them,
but do it in a way that's portrayed as humorous, a level up from banter.
Yeah, exactly.
She added, girls will roast boys.
They'll create an online chat room about another boy.
Ms. Robertson said, girls join in because they're trying to show bravado and competitiveness.
Yes, and who's to blame for that?
Pant, suit, extraordinaire. they want to be men okay they think they're stronger than men they think they're smarter than men they think
so you've created this fucking world okay enjoy it basking it
anyhow thought that was interesting the girl girls are ganging up and
i really like to know how many little boys are really distraught about it
sounds like they're being boys and girls and teenagers to me but that might be me
because those comedians have a skewed view of that ball busting. We do take it to dad too far sometimes, but I don't know.
Anyhow.
Anyways, kids, it's now 110 in here since I shut the fan off.
Thank God the show's coming to a close.
Thanks for coming out again to Caroline's this weekend.
I had a frigging ball.
Had a frig.
Getting there was a nightmare.
I'm not going to go into it.
I used to make it to Carolinas in 45 minutes.
I live about 37 miles away from Carolinas, directly north.
And sometimes I make it in 40 minutes.
And that was a few years ago.
No, I'm not shitting you.
And this is in the middle of the summer when the city usually is kind of quiet and shit.
Everybody fucking 90 minutes on Saturday night. fucking a little short of that friday
it's just um it doesn't work anymore the city that's all i got to say um hey i just booked
this this comedy club and yonkers hot comedy club which is up in my neck of the woods um it's
finally open i was booked there a few months back, and remember they couldn't get
their permits and shit, it was on my, anyways, I finally, I'm gonna do like, I'm gonna try to do
like a Tuesday night there, once a month, where I could do, and the guys that I can do whatever
the hell I want, it's a small room, it's like 120 seats, but I'm gonna, the first one's gonna be
August 16th, I do believe. Let me check the book.
It's right in front of me.
August 16th, and yeah, it's Hawk Comedy Club and Yonkers,
and the name of the mall skips the name of the mall that it's in.
I can't think of it.
Ridge Hill or something like that.
But August 16th, it's a Tuesday night.
It'll be the first one.
So if you're in the area, it'll be a great place
for me to work out new shit
and not have to deal
with that nightmare
90-minute trip
into the city anymore.
You know?
That's all we need
is stage time, folks.
Doesn't matter where
to develop the act.
All right?
So write that down.
Yeah, write it down.
Yeah, enjoy yourselves.
That is it, I think.
I'm going to be at the Vermont Comedy Club Burlington, August 5th and 6th.
Ran into a lady from, I said, I'm going to be in Vermont on comedy in a couple weekends.
She goes, is it the Vermont Comedy Club?
I'm like, well, I'm guessing.
It's not like the mecca of comedy.
But then she threw a drink at my chest what anyhow yeah so uh that's that and then september talia hall uh we
gotta we gotta we people in chicago we gotta pick up the ticket sales uh that's september 3rd it's
600 seats that's a you know you know, good-sized hall.
I need your help.
September 23rd,
Sacred Heart University.
That's in Hartford, isn't it?
And September 24th,
Laugh It Up in Poughkeepsie.
And then Helium in St. Louis,
September 29, 30, and October 1.
All righty then.
Again, connectpal.com slash Nick
to subscribe to the podcast. You've been terrific.com slash Nick to subscribe
to the podcast
you've been terrific
I'll talk to y'all soon
watch the convention
tonight
it should be
could get fucking
really interesting
don't you think it could
I think it could
alrighty
hey
hey
I saved
the world
today
and everybody's happy now the bad Hey, I saved the world today
And everybody's happy now
The bad things gone away
And everybody's happy now
The good things here stay
You need to shut the fuck up
Hey, hey, I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad things gone away
Everybody's happy now I'm so happy guitar solo Bye.