The Nick DiPaolo Show - 158 - Easy Comey, Easy Go
Episode Date: November 1, 2016Easy Comey, Easy Go...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh Oh, no! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah.
Yeah.
Happy Halloween, Hillary.
Happy Halloween, Hillary. Happy Halloween.
Oh, it really is a nightmare come true for her and the celebration come true for me.
People who enjoy her company.
Yeah, how are you, folks?
Nice to be with you. Happy Halloween to you.
What is going on? Not much to talk about, huh, over the weekend?
You kidding?
I was headed on my way to the Suffolk Theater in Riverhead, New York on Friday.
In my car.
I got on the road around 2-ish.
And yeah, heading out.
And I put on the radio and I hear all this shit going on.
And unbelievable.
I couldn't get a smile off my face.
I was actually getting a bit of a chub.
I swear to Christ.
I don't know if it was from the vibration of the car
or the two Viagra that I took intervenously before I left.
You never know.
As a drunk waitress, I might want to throw you on if you have a good set.
Again, that's a joke.
But anyways, who am I, Carlos Danger?
What the fuck?
But yeah, I mean, the breaking news of Comey opening the reinvestigation.
The reinvestigation into the Hillary email scandal.
Holy fucking moly, I almost went off the road laughing.
I couldn't fucking control myself.
Did you feel that way?
I couldn't fucking stop laughing.
Holy Christ.
What a weekend of events, huh, folks?
Holy shit.
James Comey, FBI director,
who was obviously hated a few months ago by Republicans,
now they're kissing his ass,
and the opposite, the Democrats were blowing him
back in July,
and now they fucking have their claws out
and want to have him whacked.
If I was Comey, I'd be looking over my back.
You know, we know the history of the Clintons.
Turns out, this is the beauty of this thing.
They make the Gambinos look like the fucking Osmond family.
Do they not?
Oh, fucking yes, they do.
These guys, what the Clintons are are criminal geniuses, is what they are.
And I got to say this up top, folks.
Even if Trump loses, even if he loses, I mean, she's fucked. That's why I'm in such a glorious
mood. She's fucked. It doesn't matter if she wins or loses. You think this shit's going away?
Oh my God, she's fried. Oh, but this, this new batch of 650,000 emails, it might, they might
just be duplicates. And, uh, Uma was, uh, CC'd on a lot of this shit. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, right.
Like, there's not something in there.
And if there isn't something, you got Julian Assange saying,
hey, I have shit that I'm going to release this week that's going to have her arrested.
I think he said that, but then I heard him denying it, so I don't know.
But she's got to be.
How do you sleep at night?
I was a little, I had trouble sleeping because I knew I was doing a one-hour special that nobody's going to see.
And, I mean, that's going to be on CISO.
And I couldn't really, you know, I was a little tense all week.
How do these people like Comey and Hillary, what do they do?
Apparently, according to some of the email hacks, Hillary likes to, you know, have a few shots during the afternoon there up in Chappaqua.
I got to go by, bring a nice bottle of Jack laced with rat poison.
What? You can't say shit like that.
Hey, I'm just fucking around, but I'm just saying.
How do these people sleep with this type of pressure?
I can't fucking.
I thought I had problems.
Holy Christ.
But, you know, Hillary's in her late hundreds, so a couple shots of booze and I'm sure she's fine.
She must be popping fucking Xanax, as Big Pussy said, like juju bees, T.
But holy fucking moly first before i get to all this uh riverhead new york suffolk theater
friday the place riverhead new york suffolk theater boom de palo hits a home run uh it was
great thank you people i and i hope a lot of people in the audience subscribe to this although
this is the itunes one so they might hear it anyways.
Thank you for coming out.
Place was packed, even the balcony.
And it went down without a hitch.
I mean, unless you include the shit I was saying about liberals.
And once we sit down to edit this, I'm sure people will be like,
the fuck, do you know you're in show business?
And I'm like, no, creating my own cult following. But I said shit, again, that won't do you know you're in show business and i'm like no creating my own cult following but i said shit again that won't uh you know anyhow it's not going to endear me to
anybody uh in show business but so what it's too late for that anyways but i'm saying it was packed
the place looked fucking gorgeous uh comedy dynamics lit the you know i had it the curtain
we used the curtain that was there the the backdrop, in a beautiful theater.
And, you know,
just fucking gorgeous.
And the crowd was killer.
Again, I played this place
three or four times.
Kendrick Cunningham
did a great job opening.
I just,
these people like it.
They don't mind
the political correctness.
Again, I always push it
to the point where they do mind,
and then I scold them,
and we get back to business.
But they were killer.
It was a killer response.
I think it should make for a great special.
So we shall see.
I can't thank you enough.
It was just,
it looked beautiful.
It sounded great.
Everybody was happy afterwards.
And yeah.
So again, everybody was happy afterwards and um yeah so again uh see so s-e-e-s-o.com i don't know when
the finished product we still have to edit it and all the people asking me that night when are we
gonna but the comedy dynamics they can turn stuff around pretty quickly from my past experience it
depends still got a few things to work out there.
But so I don't know.
I don't know what to tell you.
But I wouldn't,
I would think a few months maybe.
Again, a lot of work in the editing bay and stuff.
But we shall see.
Thank you, Cisco Henson
and everybody at Comedy Dynamics
that night that, you know,
they have to load the shit in
and pack it up.
But again, I made it easy on them because I did one taping.
Most of the time, somebody shoots a special,
you do two shows that night.
Not all the time.
So I just knew I had this material down,
and I think we fucking nailed it.
So it was an easy night for them.
I mean, even the guy said to me after the show,
one of the sound guys said,
beautiful, no second show, this is how we like it.
So thank you guys so much, Riverhead, New York,
which is a funny place.
They're like, and thank you, Dan Binderman
and all the people at the Suffolk Theater
who did a great job in making the place look good.
What a difference.
What a difference when you're playing to an audience that, like I said, aren't knocking chicken fingers on the floor and fucking spilling drinks and actually focused and paying attention.
Anyhow, thank you so much.
Anyways, this is the iTunes version, the Riotcast.com version, the free version of the Nick DiPaolo podcast.
And if you like it, you can go to ConnectPal.com slash Nick.
ConnectPal.com slash Nick, connectpal.com slash Nick. We are edging in on a record for contributions this month. We set it last month
and we're like, I don't know, $50, $100 behind that. And this today's the last day. So we're
going great guns here. And I suggest you jump on the bandwagon. You're not going to be able to hear
political talk. And that's not all the show is going to be. We just happen to be in the most interesting fucking political times in
the history of this country, so there's a lot of that. But connectpal.com slash Nick if you like
the show. It's $3.99 a month. You get two to three more shows a week. That's a dollar a week. I can't
make it any cheaper. All righty? And contributions that keep the show alive. Kathleen Nord. I think this might be a new one. Big fat contribution. I can't thank enough, Kathleen. Jonathan Keller, our usual buddy who lives in St. Louis. He flew to Long Island to see me. That is a goddamn loyal fan right there. And he contributes a fat amount every month. Thank you so much. His wife, Renee, couldn't make the trip.
She had lessons with a tennis pro.
Valerie Burton, a regular contributor.
Thank you.
Paul E. Frederick, another regular.
And these are healthy contributions.
Dino Cantillo, however you want to pronounce it,
also contributing always.
Thank you guys so much.
Let's get to the goddamn stuff that first of all
uh i don't know i'm giddy i am giddy about the latest uh things going on in the uh you know
like i said i was in the car listening on the radio and just laughing my balls off
sorry about that that's a goddamn iPad.
Anyhow, let's listen to Donald Trump.
I think this was on Friday, him at a rally, and he broke the good news to some of his
people live.
I need to open with a very critical breaking news announcement.
Apparently the people are already on it.
The FBI
has just sent a letter to Congress
informing them
that they have discovered new emails
pertaining to the former Oh, boy. That they have discovered new emails.
Oh, shit.
Pertaining to the former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's investigation.
Sounds like Yankee Stadium.
Oh, a little chant to block her up.
Oh, come on, kids.
That's over the top.
No, it isn't.
She was a guy.
She should be in jail.
I'm telling you.
Her vagina's keeping out of jail.
I don't know. And they are reopening the case into her criminal and illegal conduct
that threatens the security of the United States of America.
Oh, goodness gracious.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Hello.
Oh, that's Trump laughing.
That's not the narrow.
Goodness gracious.
Hello.
Hey, and, you know, they're all everybody's jumping around trump fans and everybody's all excited but don't uh you know i would say proceed with caution because
you know nbc or cnn or or abc or cbs are one of the one of the many minions that hillary has in
her pocket as far as the mainstream media they media. They could probably have a tape they're going to drop this week, you know, with Donald, you know, I don't know,
you know, audio of him trying to make out with his daughter or, you know, something fucking crazy.
Who knows? Maybe he, whatever, you know, grabbed some waitress's tit at Applebee's in a drunken stew.
I don't know. I'm just saying.
Proceed with caution.
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
That's how paranoid I am.
But everybody that knows anything is saying this makes Watergate look like a parking ticket.
Okay.
But again, you can't dismiss.
But everybody's on the take.
And seriously, folks, like I said, even if she gets elected,
I mean, she's fucked.
Is she not?
And I didn't vote for Trump.
I always say this.
I'm always saying this on the show.
I didn't vote for him in the primaries and shit.
But he has won me over 100%, okay?
Yeah, he's braggadocious.
Yeah, he's not the most eloquent.
That's not important important he's right on
the big things and uh he has exposed the democratic machine especially the clinton machine for what it
is it's like fucking uh it's like the gambinos how do we get this far um so you're talking about rico statutes and shit the same shit they used on gaudy
believable and uh so uh you know and let me say this about hillary clinton and i know i make fun
of her and shit man the fucking she has a iron jaw to use a boxing term she just won't go down
she's like uh stallone in the first Rocky against the ropes.
Apollo's just bitch slapping her.
Blood's coming out of her nose, her fat ass.
Blood's coming out of everywhere, as Trump once said.
And she's still, she's staggering around.
She's still standing.
She's relentless.
She's out there two minutes later after this announcement,
poo-pooing on it, or the next day, whenever.
But, you know, Jesus Christ christ can she take a punch and um but she's in deep shit i'm trying to be doesn't
matter even if you're not a trump fan you can't look at this and again i don't know how you could
vote for this person seriously no i'm talking about hillary not fucking trump seriously some
else some guy tweets me,
yeah, but he doesn't even know how the Constitution works.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You know, if you caught Hillary cutting a baby's head off,
you'd reply the same way.
But he doesn't know the Constitution.
He'll learn it on the run.
She's like Mar Barker, her and her fucking husband,
Bonnie and Clyive to politics
you really got to look yourselves in the mirror if you're still voting for her
because you're not doing what's best for the country you're doing what's best for your team
seriously i still say if she had a cock she'd be in jail well that's a bit of a leap nick yeah well
whatever but how about call me the poor prick he can't win he can't lose if he if he you know if he didn't if he sat on this new investigation
and again we'll get into it you know what i'm talking about you all read the paper 650 000
emails on carlos dangers's computer or whatever and some of them apparently
they were doing an investigation on him you know sext, sexting, texting with a 15-year-old girl,
and they fucking stumbled onto this. At least that's the excuse they're using. I think,
I think Percy Comey's like, fuck this. He was taking a beating, his reputation. Everybody's
like, fuck this. Yeah, there's plenty to go on. Right now they're saying they don't even know
what's in the email. Of course there's something in there. He would not reopen this case this close to an election without there being a bombshell in there.
Wouldn't you think?
I don't know.
He's not going to further damage his reputation.
So, you know, Carlos Danger.
Remember Hillary said when somebody asked her, well well did you wipe the cervical what with a
cloth i said on twitter today you know homa actually has to use a cloth to wipe a server
down when her husband's down with either her or his laptop 650 000 emails with a couple thousand
they say that involve you know government.org or clinton.org so uh that ain't good these could be people are saying again on the left well these have already been you know she government.org or Clinton.org. So that ain't good. These could be, people are saying again on the left,
well, these are already been, you know,
she's out there and they already found, you know,
this is already found stuff.
People already know about the blah, blah, blah.
I don't think so.
I don't fucking think so.
Holy Christ.
Can you imagine the pit in her stomach
when she heard this news?
And she was up in a plane.
She was up in her plane, a campaign plane.
And when this shit broke on Friday afternoon,
so somebody had to break it to her when she landed.
What poor soul got that job?
He's probably got track marks in his ass and balls right now from heroin.
Maybe it was, I don't know who it was.
Can you imagine drawing that?
Oh, by the way, Mrs. Clinton, yeah,
they found a bunch more emails on Homer's server, and they're reopening the case.
And I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall there for that fucker.
But like I said, Hillary's out there, and this is how she addressed the situation right after it broke or
the next day whenever good afternoon oh you sound tense say a few words i bet you would
your question you lion motherfucker i have now seen director comey's letter to congress
we are 11 days out from perhaps the most important national election of our life yes Yes, that makes it so delicious.
Oh, bullshit. He knows. I'm confident whatever they are will not change the conclusion reached in July.
Therefore, it's imperative that the Bureau explain this issue in question,
whatever it is.
So I look forward to moving forward to focus on the important challenges
facing the American people.
That's right.
Pivot.
Pivot on those ankles.
Pivot.
And working with all Americans to build a better future for our country.
Yeah.
And you're the person for that.
Exactly.
To build a better future.
More of the same.
What a fucking joke.
What a, nobody knew how bad a candidate she was.
We knew she wasn't great.
Holy moly. How about her demanding that comey put it out right now all the
information they found do you know why she's doing that you have to know why she's doing that because
there's no way they can do it it's 650 000 emails we're not going to get to the bottom of this until
2019 are you shitting me and she's demanding to put it all because she knows he can't do that
physically impossible logistically impossible. What a fucking
can see right through her.
Come on. That was silly.
Silly shit.
Oh my God. Has email
changed the political landscape?
Huh? I mean, Nixon used to,
you know, the recordings and shit, but email.
Oh my goodness gracious.
Helloise. And thank God. Thank God for you know, the recordings and shit, but email. Oh, my goodness gracious. Hello, Weez.
And thank God.
Thank God for WikiLeaks and Julian Assange and Kim.com is the other thing that a few people have brought up,
but I haven't heard it mentioned on TV.
Kim.com
that's the guy who kim.com was i think he he was uploading illegally all kinds of pirated
movies and shit and and uh he's from germany now he lives in new zealand i think
but the uh the u.s government he cost ho cost Hollywood a half a billion dollars now he put out
something saying that uh there's some address you can go to and that he has some of those missing
33,000 emails and that we could actually the public could look at him they're actually they're
not Podesta's emails they're actually Hillary's and somebody called into a radio show saying that they think Obama knows about this that
those emails are eventually going to be found and that's why he's sort of distancing himself
from Hillary I know at the end of last week or yesterday or two days ago he said he's not
campaigning with her anymore I don't know if that's still true or not holy fucking moly he's
like I'm not going down for this don't worry your legacy's already true or not. Holy fucking moly. He's like, I'm not going down for this.
Don't worry.
Your legacy's already ruined, okay?
Obamacare's in the fucking toilet.
Trump was gaining on her in record speed before this shit came out
because of the Obamacare news and that death spiral.
So throw this on top of it.
Holy fuck.
Talk about an October slash November.
Well, it's still October, right?
Crazy. But i love him i'm watching tv and they're going he can't do that you can't there's some protocol
with the department of justice that you know the fbi is not supposed to put stuff like this out
this close to an election well well you either you can or you can't is it illegal what he's doing
no it's just tradition.
Okay, then shut up.
So if we caught, if we had audio or video of Hillary, like I said, choking a baby or something,
and it happened two days before the election, would I have to sit on it?
That would be criminal.
You know what I mean?
So that's fucking, like he can't win either way.
If he sat on it, the Republicans would be going, what the fuck? Why did you sit on that? You could have changed your let. Now the Democrats go, why did you release that? Why did you do that, Karen?
Oh, boy. She's right out there, though. God.
Unbelievable that that tape about Trump grabbing pussy.
Boy, that seems like a fucking dozen roses. Now, it seems like 10 years ago that was released. Boy, is that in the rearview mirror in a hurry?
That's a difference, though, folks folks between talking a little locker room talk and yes misogyny and nobody can defend those remarks
blah blah fucking blah even though it's how guys fucking talk compared to a criminal enterprise
that fucks over the american people that's what way the two and be honest with yourself
you know i'm watching meet the press and chuck todd that fucking guy
might as well have a giant d tattooed on his forehead what a bias um
he was interviewing robbie mook mook hillary's uh campaign, the pretty boy.
And he goes, but Chuck Todd actually asked this.
He almost fell out of my seat.
He goes, do you think Comey has put his finger on the scale for Trump?
I almost fucking shit my pants when he asked that.
I don't know, Chuck.
I felt like calling into the show if they had him. Chuck, did you ask that to Trump's campaign manager
after the initial Comey announcement not to indict hillary did you did you ask that you might have in
fairness to him maybe you did i don't remember it i think i would have seen it on the internet but
maybe you did do you think comey's put his finger on the scale for trump no he's put his whole left
ass cheek on it i hope hope. They're actually going,
you know, it's like, holy shit, never mind
the truth. She's got to win this thing. It's owed
to her. She has a vag.
Ugh.
Oh, you guys have been asking me about Sirius Radio
and whether I'm going to do more of that
uh stuff uh i don't know i'll keep you posted it ain't done yet
so i don't know it ain't done hey could you be more uneducated it ain't done yet
it ain't done yet it's a dangerous situation over there i don't know it won't be all politics again
even i i like to fucking talk about other shit but this is is this the best soap opera ever
have you ever if you wrote this script and handed it to hollywood and i got a great great idea for
a movie about the presidential election and it had this many twists and turns and it involves uh
the the democrat first president a woman possible woman
president in the history united states and a close aide to her whose husband likes to jerk off and
and sexed underage girls what's that character's name a wiener anthony win get the fuck out of my
office with that wiener shit really you cornball get out of here you couldn't make this shit up, could you? It is fun. And then Trump grabbing pussy tape.
It's just,
oh my God,
I'm loving it.
This is better.
Any better than any of those,
uh,
Latino soap operas on Univision or Telemundo,
whatever,
or all the hot bra.
Boy,
they gorgeous.
Mother of Christ.
That's better than any porch.
I love Latina girls.
Don't you fellas?
Robbie Mook,
you don't i didn't
think so okay back to the show what
liar liar liar
but uh you know hillary should probably i wonder if she got in homer's face and said what the
fuck did that psycho husband of yours that perverted
and homer's like oh what are you shitting me who are you to talk have you checked out your
husband's record lately there fuck face how the fuck you think you're talking to your motherfucker
can you tell i'm all energized by this i couldn't wait to get up this morning
because i checked all the internet sunday night and i'm like ah any more breaking though and
somebody wrote an article saying you're gonna miss this shit when it's got boy I guess the fuck
I can't stop with this stuff it is it like I said it's the best movie slash soap opera
ever ever but I'm waiting for something to drop on Trump too you know
they keep bringing up his taxes you know even so what if he released him tomorrow and it's like
okay whatever you you you know you whatever you didn't pay federal tax whatever you fucking
you're not half as rich as we thought you were you didn't pay yeah but but but look what she did
she first even if the second uh investigation this reopening even if it didn't happen she
still should be in jail.
That's the thing we can't forget.
She lied under oath.
We have her lying fucking about classified information on a server,
deleting 33,000 emails after being subpoenaed by Congress.
Excuse me.
All that shit.
All that shit was illegal.
And then call me, obviously. Obviously, the other big part of this story is the Department of Justice.
It's so obvious now.
We have evidence that they didn't want the FBI to investigate the Clinton Foundation.
And there's a ton.
There was a rebellion going on in the FBI.
The rank and file were furious at the results that, you know, the end result that Comey came up with the first investigation.
They were fucking furious.
Some of them thought he was right.
Some of them thought he was wrong.
And then you get the Department of Justice now.
It's so political.
Loretta Lynch is a fucking OG.
I thought, I never thought I'd miss Eric Holder.
She makes Eric Holder look ethical.
Mother of God.
What a legacy Obama's leaving. just a trail of dirt bags and i give a shit what happens from here on in oh he's got to be running from hillary
isn't it beautiful sure it is
so anyways comey is enemy number one on both sides of the aisle but uh
let's listen to the let's listen to people, some higher-up Democrats,
talking about James Comey back in the summertime
after he decided not to bring charges against Hillary.
Let's listen to some of these two-faced cocksuckers.
This is a great man.
We are very privileged in our country to have him be the director of the FBI.
No one can question the integrity, the competence.
A wonderful and tough career public servant, Jim Comey.
Jim was in the U.S. Attorney's Office in the Eastern District of Virginia
when I was the mayor of Richmond, and he's somebody with the highest standards of integrity.
Excuse me.
You still feel that way that was harry that last one was tim kaine her running mate praising him and now he's like flabbergasted and then you got uh that was harry harry reed
who talks like this he's one of those upstanding and of course pelosi the fucking lunatic who again i would have loved to bang when she was
young i want to see some pictures of her uh when she was uh younger than 77 and uh because she got
big swags and a pretty face and an empty head that skull is filled with dog shit and spaghetti
am i right it really is but they were all praising uh James Comey. Now they, you know, ask him to comment now. This is what you get.
situation again folks uh connectpal.com slash nick if you want to subscribe to the podcast i just said podcast like i'm running back for the eagles uh connectpal.com slash nick
um but yeah all kinds of shit all kinds of shit about the department of justice
and how they were coming down hard on the FBI not to go after the Clinton
Foundation. But Obama today actually came out and said, Obama doesn't believe, well, his spokesman
said that the president doesn't believe Comey is trying to influence the election. The White House
said on Monday that Obama does not believe that Comey is trying to influence the election with his decision to review new evidence in the probe into Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server while she was Secretary of State.
Again, they don't fucking like each other.
They don't like it.
Do you remember Bill, and I keep bringing this up, remember Bill Clinton said, this whole thing's a fairy tale.
A few years ago, a guy like this would have been getting us coffee.
That which was, to me, kind of a racist crack.
You know what?
And you think Obama or his wife fucking forgot about that.
She's out there trying to pretend she's Hillary's friend.
It's fucking.
Like I said, this is the best soap opera.
You got race involved.
You got gender.
And this is the spokesman.
The president's assessment of his integrity and his character has not changed.
White House press secretary Josh Earnest told reporters,
the president does not believe Comey's intentionally trying to influence the election.
I got to believe that means he's fucking done with Hillary, right?
Has to be.
The president does not believe that he's secretly strategizing to benefit one candidate or one political party.
Party.
Comey has come under fire.
Fierce criticism, including from Clinton's campaign, for telling lawmakers of his decision to revive the FBI's inquiry just 11 days before the election.
Donald Trump has seized on the news, which we played earlier, to drive home the idea that Clinton has thick ankles, leathery nipples, and can't be trusted.
No, that Clinton can't be trusted and would enter the White House under a cloud of criminal
suspicion.
That's a fucking understatement.
Then you got jerk off Harry Reid, who I just played for you praising Comey this summer,
right?
Saying Comey might have broken the law, that's in quotes, with his latest move.
Harry Reid. broken the law that's in quotes with his latest move harry reed boy i can't wait till he fucking tries to work out again and drops a dumbbell on his fucking ugly ignorant face he's retiring right let's hope he let's hope harry reed the
same thing that happens to him that happens to like college football coaches like bear bryant
and uh woody hayes and paterno a week after they retire from what they do for a living they fucking die
oh are you wishing death on harry i sure and fuck him he is the worst of them all
hey it's the worst of them all
but that's interesting right so first thing i going to do when I'm done with this show
is turn on the TV to see if Obama has indeed stopped
touring on Hillary's behalf.
Not only that,
not only that, we have more news of Donna Brazile.
Remember Donna Brazile?
Yeah.
Everybody goes, she seems like a nice lady.
Do we have to say that?
Because she's a black woman.
I used to think she seemed like a nice lady.
Now I think she's a crook and just a liar
and a fucking typical, you know,
you remember she had the,
she had the question, one of the questions on the CNN.
She used to work for CNN.
She's a commentator on there.
But, you know, she now she's like the interim heads up the DNC.
And, you know, she had during the primary, she had a question beforehand at the town hall debates.
She gave it to Hillary beforehand.
And guess what?
It's happened again.
That's right.
You just corrupt to the bone the whole fucking party.
Whether it's sending goons out to start violence at Trump rallies or the email scandal,
hiding Benghazi or Fast and Furious, the gun running thing, or IRS going after conservatives.
You just fucking corrupt to the bone, aren't you?
Yeah.
Not saying the Republicans aren't,
but bring it out.
Let's see it.
I don't give a shit.
I'm not going to vote anymore
after this one anyways.
A new email released by WikiLeaks
as part of the Podesta dump
reveals that former CNN commentator
Donna Brazile
and current chairperson of the DNC
gave Hillary Clinton another question the day before a major debate. Let me tell you something, you Bernie, that former CNN commentator, Donna Brazile, and current chairperson of the DNC,
gave Hillary Clinton another question the day before a major debate.
Let me tell you something, you Bernie Sanders voters.
You ought to go out and vote for Trump.
They really fucked this guy. I knew it was rigged.
It's rigged.
They have the questions beforehand.
Nobody believes me.
I talked to Donna Brazile after the show.
Yeah. me i talked to donna brazil after the show uh yeah one of the questions directed to hillary rodham clinton tomorrow is from a woman with a rash the email is titled it was sent on march
5th the day before clinton debated bernie sanders in flint michigan and and this is uh this is what
it said in it her family has led poison and she will ask what if anything will hillary do as
president to help the
people of flint reads the body of the email she's a two-time offender according to debate commission
rules no candidate is supposed to be given any question in advance of the debate really maybe
hillary didn't know that i mean she's a newcom right? This is not the first time that WikiLeaks emails have revealed how Brazil tipped off Hillary's campaign with the debate question in advance.
A previous email entitled, From Time to Time I Get the Questions in Advance, gave Clinton the nod that a question would be asked about the death penalty.
The latest email completely demolishes Brazil's claim made during a fiery exchange with megan kelly that she didn't receive
debate questions in advance do you uh do you want to hear that i played it uh last week but
you remember this megan kelly just making a fool of donna brazil about the the first time she got
the questions for hillary ahead of time you say that you say you say that you play straight up, but I have to ask
you because you were accused
of receiving
a debate question before a CNN
town hall where they partnered with TV One
and that you had this question
on March 12th
that verbatim
was provided
by Roland Martin to CNN
the next day.
How did you get that question, Donna?
None of your business, white bitch.
Well, Kelly, since I play straight up and I'll play straight up with you.
She's calling Megyn Kelly, Kelly, thinking Kelly's her first name.
But you can't blame her.
She is kind of a stunner.
But back to the show.
She looked really tired, Donna.
Again, this isn't even this week's
this is her lying to megan kelly uh i did not receive any questions from cnn let's just be
where did you get it first of all what information are you providing to me that that will allow uh
you're on the stand you're talking about me about. You got the WikiLeaks released a March 12th Podesta email
showing you messaging the Clinton campaign
with the exact wording of a question asked at the March 13th CNN TV1 town hall debate.
Where did you get it?
You know, as a Christian woman, I understand persecution, but I will not say...
Oh, here we go.
The old, let's get into religion.
I understand persecution, but I will not sit.
Oh, here we go.
The old, let's get into religion.
I love how the Dems and people like Donna Brazile like to bring their holiness and religion into it.
It's like the football players that, you know, well, I knocked the motherfucker out with a straight left hand.
But I'd like to thank Jesus for letting me win the belt, even though he's in critical condition up in there.
You're going to be persecuted because your information is totally false.
What you're telling the American people. I'm getting it from Podesta's email.
She's literally getting it from Podesta's email, Megyn Kelly.
Don't ever see how so stupid.
Saying your information is false.
Yeah, my script writer fucked it up.
Well, Podesta's emails were stolen.
Yes, by the Russians, which we know is true.
So you deny it.
You're like a thief that want to bring into the night the things that you found that was in the gutter.
What?
What?
Translator, please. what what translator please you're like a thief in the night they like want to bring in the thief
there they fucking got her yeah yeah yeah huh megan was so nice that's where i couldn't uh
be professional i'd go uh could you fucking repeat that there
you lied in swahili what the fuck did you just say, Mrs. Brazil?
Oh, for the love of Pete.
But yeah,
so she's been busted twice now and still lying about it.
You're fucking...
Oh, she short ear.
That was she ear.
But yeah.
But I think that the important thing is
burping up i ate about seven pounds of pasta this weekend i had a you know stressful october so i
said once i shoot this special and luckily i had a stomach flu all week you know i like to you like
to work out and look like decent if you know you might be on TV. But I couldn't because I had that fucking hernia operation because I'll be 111 on Thursday.
And so I couldn't work out for a month.
But you know what?
I got this beautifully timed stomach bug last Monday.
And I was spray painting the bowl for six days and dropped seven pounds.
Anyhow, you're not going to hear that stuff like this, are you, on a political show?
But here's the big fucking thing that nobody's barely even talking about.
Senior level Justice Department officials pushed back heavily on an ongoing FBI investigation of the Clinton Foundation.
According to a bombshell report from the Wall Street Journal, the newspaper laid out numerous examples based on law enforcement sources of senior DOJ officials intervening to quash the probe. Prosecutors with the U.S. Attorney's Office
in the Eastern District of New York, which Loretta Lynch led before taking over as the AG last year,
refused to allow FBI investigators probing the Clinton family charity to review emails found
on devices turned over this year by two of clinton's lawyers
during the uh separate investigation into the mishandling of classified information on clinton's
private email system it's unbelievable how corrupt the doj is under obama the rationale according to
the journal was that the devices were covered by partial immunity and limited use agreements that
the clinton lawyers cheryl melz and he Samuelson, agreed to with the Department of Justice.
Information recovered from the laptops could only be used in the email investigation and not in any others.
I don't want to read too much, but that's what we're doing here.
This is the Journal's report.
That's the Wall Street Journal.
Largely confirms reporting in August from the Daily Caller News Foundation's Richard Pollack
that the FBI and several U.S. attorney offices were conducting an unorthodox joint investigation
into the Clinton Foundation.
CNN reported at around the same time that a Clinton Foundation probe was tabled by the Justice Department.
Pollack's report and the new piece
from the journal undermined cnn's reporting once again cnn doing their best did you see the british
lady she was being interviewed this weekend on cnn and she called the clinton news network
she was like a british and coulter she fucking gave the cnn girl a beating like she we wouldn't
believe while the investigation has gone forward the Justice Department has stymied the investigation at several turns, according to the Wall Street Journal.
The DOJ refused to grant the FBI the power to issue subpoenas or conduct formal interviews.
It also refused to convene a grand jury to weigh evidence in the case.
More pushback occurred in August when a senior DOJ official contacted the FBI's
deputy director, Andrew McCabe. I'm not going to get into all that. You know, he's married to a
woman who's running for a seat in Virginia, and Terry McAuliffe, an old Clinton ally, gave her
$475,000. We went over that last week. I don't want to get into it anymore. To voice his displeasure,
this guy actually sounds honest, McCabe. To voice his displeasure, the New York field office agents weren't, I mean were, sorry, continuing the investigation, even though the DOJ had declined to provide investigative support.
The official was very pissed off that the FBI was continuing its efforts, according to the Wall Street Journal.
Bah, bah, bah.
I'll just, just one more paragraph.
According to the journal, McCabe refocused the Clinton Foundation investigation a week after FBI Director James Comey announced in early July that he would recommend to the Justice Department that charges not be filed against Clinton for mishandling classified information in her emails.
But we all know Comey just, you know, he laid it all out there so we knew Hillary was guilty,
but then he undercut his whole thing by not charging her.
The charity probe, again, this is about now
the Clinton Foundation, would be led by the FBI's
New York office with help from Little Rock office,
according to the journal.
Also, FBI field offices in LA and Washington
were also involved in the Clinton Foundation investigation.
And I'll skip to the end sentence.
While the FBI has insisted that McCabe is not compromised in any of the investigations,
he's the one who's heading up the investigation on Hillary's emails.
So, but he recused himself from the other investigation.
The email probe, the Clinton Foundation.
While the FBI has insisted that McCabe is not compromised in any of the investigations,
the email probe, the Clinton Foundation, or the McAuliffe matter, the Journal reports that some agents believe he has issued, and this is in quotes, stand-down orders in the Clinton Foundation inquiry.
That claim came from FBI agents lower on the chain of command from senior level officials.
Still other sources denied that McCabe issued a stand down order.
They asserted that McCabe ordered investigators to continue on the investigative path.
McCabe's August 12th phone call conversation with senior DOJ officials
would seem to suggest he supported the investigation.
He actually said this.
So this is why I think he might be a straight shooter, even though his wife got money.
Are you telling me that I need to shut down a validly predicated investigation?
McCabe asked the DOJ official, according to a journal source who was familiar with the conversation.
Of course not, the official reportedly said after a brief pause.
Wink, wink.
Anyhow, not to get too in the fucking weeds.
But you can see there was turmoil because of the, the, uh, conclusion Comey reached.
And then, uh, as far as investigating the Clinton foundation, Loretta Lynch, the whole fucking meeting on the plane, you just put it all together.
Okay.
You know, Bill's like, well, you know, if she wins, you get a place in the cabinet.
Just don't, uh, don't investigate our shit about the Clinton file.
You know, it's just,
you can be a fucking three-year-old detective
to figure this out.
Anyhow, anywho, anyhow.
So the Department of Justice is, you know,
depending on who you believe,
is trying to impede the investigation.
Investigation's a dangerous situation.
depending on who you believe, is trying to impede the investigation.
Investigation. It's a data situation.
Let's cut to Carlos Danger on his computer.
Or on his computer, his wife's computer.
Any computer in the Wiener household.
Let's cut to the bedroom. It's one in the morning and he's probably texting with a nice young girl.
A nice 15-year-old girl somewhere.
That's him cranking his own ham and just going to fucking town.
Uma's in the kitchen making a sandwich.
You've got mail.
Oh, no.
You've got mail.
You've got mail. Oh, no. You've got mail. You've got mail.
Oh, yeah, you sure do.
Can you imagine?
Trump was like thanking Wiener today.
Priceless.
Fucking priceless.
I'll tell you the other thing today.
You know, Peter Thiel? he's the openly gay guy that he
founded you know a paypal brilliant guy he gave a speech today in front of the national press club
about why people are voting for donald trump as you know he's like the only guy in silicon valley
that has the balls to admit he's voting for, that's like courageous on a couple levels.
Number one, he's openly gay,
and we all know the fucking gay groups,
how militant they are if you disagree with them.
And he actually points this out today in his speech.
But this guy invented PayPal.
He's supporting Donald Trump.
He gave a speech in front of the National Press Club today
that, in my opinion,
if Trump gave this speech every day
for the next, what are the eight days left
to the election,
he would sew it up.
And if he was giving it,
let's say for the last month,
he'd be 10 points ahead.
It was so concise.
And again, you people who aren't voting
for Trump would disagree,
but he doesn't, you know, he,
well, I'm going to play a couple of clips from it,
but it was so concise and so smart and no fat whatsoever to the speech like I said I think if Trump was smart um which they are that's Steve Bannon and that Kellyanne Conway uh big props man
those two it was like they had to paper train Trump.
Like he was a puppy, shitting and pissing every chance he could get in the living room.
And then whacking him in the face with a paper.
Going, focus, you little cocksucker.
But here is Peter Thiel, again, the openly gay guy who invented PayPal.
And like I said, he's out there in Silicon valley with all the lefties as we know we know that fucking zuckerberg and the guy from google and all of them are in the tank
for fucking hillary not just through donations but like you know trying to shut down conservatives
on twitter you know the whole fucking left lane all the elitist jackoffs that I hate and a lot of Trump supporters hate.
But here is Peter Thiel. Here's the first clip talking about Donald Trump and why people are voting for him.
This election year, both major candidates are imperfect people, to say the least.
Both major candidates are imperfect people, to say the least. I don't agree with everything Donald Trump has said and done.
And I don't think the millions of other people voting for him do, either.
Nobody thinks his comments about women were acceptable.
I agree they were clearly offensive and inappropriate. But I don't think the voters pull the lever in order to endorse
a candidate's flaws. It's not a lack of judgment that leads Americans to vote for Trump.
We're voting for Trump because we judge the leadership of our country to have failed.
the leadership of our country to have failed.
Amen. Amen.
How can you look around at where we are?
And again, people on the left who complain about income inequality,
it's never been worse than under Obama.
Racial, I mean, cops being gunned down.
Fucking, we've never been more divided racially.
Whatever it is.
Slowest recovery ever what is it
fucking 94 million people out of the workforce and go yeah yeah more of the same yeah but trump
he grabs pussies he thinks it's all right no he doesn't that was billy bush
i'm just saying, really.
And I don't know, headlines today said Trump plus four in a national poll.
Like I said, he was already gaining momentum.
But then Peter Thiel, founder of PayPal, goes on to talk more about what happens when you don't conform out there in Silicon Valley with his, you know, his competition in the high-tech world?
And what happens when you don't conform to their worldview and whether you're straight or gay?
The Advocate, a magazine which once praised me as a gay innovator, even published an article saying that as of now I am.
Gay innovator? Wasn't that Liberace?
Quote, not a gay man, unquote,
because I don't agree with their politics.
Did you hear that?
I interrupted with a stupid Liberace joke.
But the advocacy, it's a gay magazine,
a publication said he's not a gay man because he doesn't vote like they do.
Hmm, really, is that the criteria?
do? Really, is that the criteria? The lie behind the buzzword of diversity could not be made more clear. If you don't conform, then you don't count as diverse, no matter what your personal background.
Exactly. How many times on this show in the last year
have I been talking about the buzzword diversity
and how
it's such a crock of shit when the left uses it
it's such
a crock of shit
they don't believe in diversity of ideas
look at the college campuses
I mean this is all
right out in the open okay if you choose not to
believe it and whatever, whatever.
You're just fucking psychotic.
And finally, one more clip from Peter Thiel.
Why people are swarming towards Trump.
His larger-than-life persona attracts a lot of attention.
Nobody would suggest that Donald Trump is a humble man.
But the big things he's right about amount to a much-needed dose of humility in our politics.
Very unusually for a presidential candidate, he has questioned the core concept of American exceptionalism.
He doesn't think the force of optimism alone can change reality without hard work.
Just as much as it's about making America great, Trump's agenda is about making America a normal country.
A normal country doesn't have a half trillion dollar trade deficit.
A normal country doesn't fight five simultaneous undeclared wars.
In a normal country, the government actually does its job.
And today it's important to recognize that the government has a job to do.
Yes.
And then he goes on to state how there is a place for government, right?
They came up with their highway systems and and nasa and whatever there is but uh it shouldn't you know consume us it's supposed to serve us he may again like i said
if trump i hope trump uh took note of that speech i i really think if he just came out
delivered that for the next seven days he'd be fine fine. But again, like I said, keep an ear out for another tape or something to come out on Trump.
All those people at the New York Times must be digging through his dumpster behind Trump towers or whatever,
looking for a used rubber or some shit.
Anyhow, any he.
And finally, I'll end on this.
They sure are.
Headline.
This is from, I think it was from Breitbart, Texas.
Agents accuse feds of covering up record border detainee numbers for 2016 election.
A record number of illegal aliens have crossed the U.S.-Mexico border
and are in U.S. Border Patrol custody
in Texas' Rio Grande Valley
sector, that's RGB,
according to the National Border Patrol
Council, NBPC.
Border Patrol agent and NBPC
President Brandon Judd
spoke exclusively
with Breitbart Texas and condemned
the leadership of the Border Patrol's parent agency
which is Custom and Border Protection CBP
for allegedly keeping this information secret
ahead of the 2016 U.S. presidential election
to me this is the biggest scandal in Obama's 8 years
what he's done with the executive order
and opening the fucking borders
this guy says we are at a breaking point we have the highest number of illegal aliens in custody in history with executive order and opening the fucking borders.
This guy says,
we are at a breaking point.
We have the highest number of illegal aliens
in custody in history
in Border Patrol's
RGV sector,
Rio Grande Valley.
And this information
has been kept
from the American public,
said Agent Judd.
The talk of amnesty
has once again
created pull factors.
In other words,
like a magnet effect,
pull factors
and encourage people
from all over the world to cross.
It's not just Mexicans.
Mexicans are the ones we want coming over.
And then cross our poorest southern border to illegally enter the U.S.
There's all kinds of scum coming over.
From all over the world.
We are simply overwhelmed.
This is coming from a border patrol agent.
Okay?
Agent Judd told Breitbart that Americans should vote their conscience,
but they should do so with all of the information available.
This is an issue of the federal government restricting crucial information
from the public ahead of a presidential election, and it's unacceptable.
No shit.
Americans deserve to know the truth.
Our Border Patrol agents deserve for Americans to know what they are really facing.
Too many Border Patrol agents have given their lives and left loved ones to grieve for CBP leadership
to play these types of political games ahead of such an impactful election.
Border Patrol agent Chris Cabrera spoke with Breitbart in his capacity as vice president of the NBPC local
that represents the majority of Border Patrol agents in the Rio Grande Valley sector.
He said, this isn't surprising considering the history of Border Patrol and CBP
covering up facts and falsifying numbers.
He added, in 2014, CBP didn't publicize the crowded conditions in our facilities
until Breitbart Texas published over 40 photos depicting the reality.
Only then did they properly address the crisis. So you people think Breitbart is just a right-wing
fucking, you know, website, blah, blah, blah. No, they report the fucking truth
that the mainstream media doesn't. They're the ones who put the pictures up of the overcrowded
facilities. Agent Cabrera said CBP were in fact concealing
the gravity of the current border crisis.
One side in this coming election is
downplaying illegal immigration
and concealing this information
only serves to help that agenda.
And we know what side that is.
Okay?
Listen to this. CBP's release
numbers indicating near record
apprehensions. However, the assertions from the agents in the NBPC pertain to people who illegally entered the U.S. and are currently in custody indicate that these are people who are not
voluntarily returning this indicates that these people will under current policy be really released
into our communities and given amnesty this is all so they can can win votes for the next thousand
years the democrat party that's why obama's flooding this fucking country do you understand
that and these people will go directly on welfare and every entitlement program
and the Democrats will make sure they know
it's because of us that you were able to come here
and they'll vote Democrat for the next thousand fucking years.
That's the whole thing.
And if you deny that, you're just a chooch.
What?
This record number of people currently in detention
is significant because the RGV sector
is dealing
with gulf and los zetas cartels this means our agents are busy babysitting record numbers in
facilities instead of patrolling the border and stopping these murderers kidnappers and drug Breitbart, Texas received this response from CBP.
First, the number in custody in RGV is less than half of what it was in June 2014.
The guy says, also, I'd refer you to Secretary Johnson's statement
about Southwest Border Security issued October 17th.
In it, the secretary addresses the specific issue
of unaccompanied children and family units.
Oh, that's big of them.
Anyhow, the statement includes statistics
for the full year of fiscal 2016.
Yeah, so what?
The pictures don't lie,
and what I see on the news doesn't lie.
They're pouring over in record numbers.
For Christ's sake, Hillary's got illegals
banging on
doors uh working for her campaign so it's fucking priceless isn't it anyhow
that's an agent saying that
that's a border patrol agent an nbpc president brandon judd
saying that the feds lie about the numbers of illegals coming over and shit so believe what
you want to believe i'm just reporting it folks what the hell you want from me
anyhow that's it how about the world series holy christ cubs win last night bryant went deep and uh boy that anthony rizzo man he's my new
favorite yes i'm a little partisan to the italians but anthony rizzo this big rugged italian dude
he just stands at the plate stands straight up he holds a bat like he's got a rolled up newspaper
and he's trying to kill a moth. And he's unbelievable at first base.
He made like two or three picks last night out of the dirt,
and it was a great game.
And Cleveland's pitching is unbelievable, but it's 3-2, folks.
They go back to Cleveland tomorrow night.
And again, I don't care who wins.
I love Terry Francona, and I love the city of Chicago
because the people are nice there.
And let's be honest, they've had a bit of a drought.
They've hit a bit of a dry patch when it comes to baseball championships.
But, yeah, so unbelievable.
And NFL-wise, Tom Brady, just fucking Buffalo, Rex Ryan, huh?
They got all excited because they beat us a couple weeks ago.
They shut us out in New England 16-0.
But there was one caveat.
We had a third-string quarterback in that day,
and we were missing two all-pro linemen, blah, blah, blah.
So what do we do?
Tom Brady went, I'll fix this.
They go up to Buffalo and put a fucking 41 to, whatever, 25 whipping on the Bills.
It wasn't even that close.
And there's an article on Drudge Report.
There's a picture of
Brady saying competition demoralized by 39-year-old Brady. That's how fucking good he's playing. I
can't help it. I'm from Boston. We only got a few years left where I can brag. Big Papi's gone.
You know, Tommy's a no spring chicken. But Jesus H. Christ, they have the best rec in the NFL. Did I throw that in there?
Anyhow, folks, like I said, listen to the Nick DiPaola podcast,
Riotcast.com and iTunes for free on Mondays.
If you want to sign up, you go to ConnectPal.
That's C-O-N-N-E-C-T-P-A-L.com slash Nick.
Get two to three more shows a week for $3.99 a month.
Thank you again,
all you guys contributing.
Thank you guys that came out to see my taping
at the Suffolk Theater this weekend.
You really made it great.
If you want my tour dates,
nickdopalo.com.
This Thursday, Friday, and Saturday,
I'm at the Comedy Works
in Saratoga Springs,
I think it is, New York.
Come out and see me there.
Love you guys very much
all right now i'm getting too fucking gay
hey Good day and happy Halloween to you. guitar solo I'm out.