The Nick DiPaolo Show - 170 - This is What Change Looks Like!
Episode Date: January 31, 2017This is What Change Looks Like!...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast. Wow. Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. Wow. Peace! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
That's right! That's right!
Break it up!
Peace! Peace!
There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear It's called real change
There's a man with a gun over there
I got to beware
I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
How are you folks? What's going down?
How are you, folks?
Oh, yeah.
The shit is hitting the fan.
Because this is real change.
For the good.
In my opinion.
You could disagree.
Go to the fucking airport if you disagree.
You get that kind of time?
Oh yeah.
Welcome to America 2017.
Civil War is right around the corner.
I've been saying it for a few weeks now.
Not a real bold statement.
How are you, folks?
Holy shit is exactly right.
That sound you were hearing, that turbulence, that was some little leftist douchebag sucker-punching a Trump supporter
at an airport in Portland somewhere.
It was like 10 against 4, because that's what the little fucking worms of the left do.
I hope California secedes from the union, and please take fucking Oregon with you.
Please.
Could you do us that favor?
You fuckers that are living like it's 1965.
It's funny.
I was on vacation.
Yeah, before I get to that, let's...
Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo podcast.
Fresh back from vacation.
This is the Monday edition,
the free edition on iTunes and riotcast.com
and Stitcher and other places.
But if you like the show, folks,
you go to connectpal.com slash Nick
and sign up for $3.99 a month.
You get two to three more shows a week.
Connectpal.com slash Nick to subscribe to the podcast.
And yes, sirree.
This particular episode of the DePaulo podcast brought to you by Blue Apron.
That's right.
Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country.
Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone.
I've had this stuff.
It's really good.
It really is.
Because it's all fresh.
And it's all organic.
And they're not shooting chickens in the ass with hormones like he's a strong safety for the Denver Broncos.
That type of thing.
Blue Apron's established partnerships with over 150 local farms, fisheries,
and ranches across the U.S.
It can be delivered to 99% of the continental U.S.
and 99.5% of food deserts.
Because Blue Aprons ships the exact amount
of each ingredient required for a recipe,
they are reducing food waste,
which is a big problem.
You're in a restaurant, even when I'm with my wife,
you know, we order something my wife i you know we order
something and and it's like no way she's going to finish that it goes right in the trash well
there's none of that with blue apron and here's some of the those who spend a lot of restaurants
are high in grocery chains can now spend under 10 bucks per person for a delicious meal and you're
like what what meals you're talking about nick well here's some of the upcoming meals from blue
apron cashew chicken stir fry with tango, mandarins, and jasmine rice.
What, that doesn't sound good?
Roasted pork with apple, walnut, and farro salad.
Crispy barramundi with quinoa and roasted carrot salad.
I've had this stuff, and it's delicious.
And here's the other things that I think is great about Blue Apron.
Variety.
Choose from a variety of new recipes each week.
Or let Blue Apron's culinary team surprise you.
Recipes get this.
They're not repeated within a year, so you'll never get bored.
It's easy.
Each meal comes with a step-by-step, easy-to-follow recipe card and pre-portioned ingredients
and can be prepared in 40 minutes or less.
You'll be cooking like you're Mario Batali.
It's guaranteed, too, by the way.
It's guaranteed too by the way it's guaranteed uh blue apron promises that every ingredient in your delivery arrives ready to
cook or they'll make it right check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free
that's right with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash Nick D. You'll love how good it tastes and feels to create incredible home-cooked meals with Blue Apron.
And it is good, so don't wait, folks.
That's Blueapron.com slash Nick D.
Blue Apron, a better way to cook, and it really is.
Also, making this episode possible, my contributors.
Darren Card, a regular contributor. thank you so much darren kevin
mccardle with a big fat contribution timmy huell timmy from cincinnati a regular contributor
anthony andrea or andrea a nice contribution my boy dennis these are all regular contributors
to the show on on top of paying the subscription daniel pamatuan thank you so much danny and my girl bunny
galore also known as a cherry patrino duger thank you guys so much and uh appreciate it what i i go
away for a week i went to st bart's on vacation come back and all hell has broken loose because
you know what this is what change looks like when somebody really
does what they say but before we get to that i mean more uh tragedy
more of this shit going on uh last night in quebec there was an attack at a mosque.
I guess the two
gunmen who shouted
Allah Akbar. Boy, once again,
boy, this makes Trump look right
again, doesn't it? Even with all the horseshit going
on. I'll get to that in a few minutes. They opened
fire at a mosque in Quebec City.
And one of the shooters was of Moroccan
origin. I guess we don't have
them on the list yet, but we will.
Revealing the first details about the massacre that killed six people, killed six men.
And the terrorist suspect was identified as Mohammed.
Oh, no, you're kidding.
It wasn't Kevin.
No, it was Mohammed Qadir.
Like I said, I would.
And folks, keep in mind, this isn't meet the press.
So I would just and this would take a lot of time. Let's expand the ban, not just to the seven countries that Trump included.
How about let's just ban anybody named Muhammad. Does that sound ignorant and prejudging?
Good. Good for you, because we could never do it. There's so many Mohammeds. But anyways, Mohammed Qadir and Alexandre Bissonnette.
Those are the two guys.
The two men were arrested soon after the shooting in Quebec Islamic Culture Center Sunday night.
We're expected to appear in court today.
One of the gunmen actually turned himself in.
He turned himself in?
What a fucking boy.
He's going to be in for some deep shit.
His bosses are not gonna like that yeah he called called 9-1-1 less than 20 minutes later gave officers his location and they arrested him just and prime minister justin trudeau who makes
fucking obama look like uh strom thurman what i'm saying is he's so far to the left and makes me sick to my dirty stomach.
He condemned
the attack. Ooh. Calling it a
terrorist attack on Muslims. But you know what he didn't
include? Mr. Trudeau, Mr. Pretty Boy.
He didn't include. It was probably
by Muslims. I don't
know that yet, but, you know,
they yelled out al-Akbar. Sort of a tip-off.
They didn't yell, you know.
Whatever. Think of something tip-off. They didn't yell, you know. Whatever.
Think of something funny and fill it in.
Un-fucking-believable.
Just horrible.
Plus, I don't know, five people
in critical condition with 12 to 15 others
injured. Critical condition,
five of them.
Just horrible.
The dead people range from age 35 to 60
uh listen to this this is so canadian and so american and so a possible motive was unclear
police said they did not believe there were other suspects really possible it's unclear
till you're still huh one of the gunmen had an ak-47 that's the weapon of fucking choice
uh witness who asked to remain anonymous told radio canada the two shooters were masked
and uh it seemed to me he said they had uh
a kind of a quebec accent a french accent they started to fire and they yelled
a la akba that sort of tips off the motive hate to
connect the dots yeah but uh just horrible seriously praise to those people who are lost
and injured it's just fucking okay and and so again once again this is uh the backdrop of you
know um trump putting in this ban of the seven countries and and this country in an uproar over it.
But, boy, this sort of just backs it.
Well, look, it's not the United States.
That would happen in Canada.
Please, it's North America.
It's here.
Just fucking get used to it, okay?
You can't have it both ways.
They started shooting up the Islamic Center
around 8 p.m. Sunday night.
More than 50 people were praying at the time.
Just un-fucking-believable.
Imagine.
The CBC reported that someone left a pig's head
on the mosque doorstep this past June
during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.
Because, you know, they can't eat pork,
so I don't know what you're implying
there but uh you know if you read this you got to read through the lines because if you just read
you know the surface of this they're like well somebody six months ago left them so it's somebody
who's anti-muslim well not necessarily we don't know that do we but uh because these radicalized
people kill their own,
you know, they're Muslims and they kill Muslims most of the time.
So the point being is,
Trump's doing the right thing, in my opinion.
Because, give us a break.
The neighbor to the north, it might as well be northern United States.
But what the fuck, okay?
Just unbelievable.
So yeah, I come back and protesting,
and I flew into Kennedy.
I didn't really see any of it.
I must have been at the wrong terminal.
I'll get to that in a minute.
I'm lucky I get back, huh?
Because that ban he put in is so overwhelming.
If you saw the picture on my passport and my global entry
card, you would arrest me just on the
looks. I couldn't look more like a fucking
terrorist if they strapped a chin strap
beard and put one of those Muslim
skull caps on me.
I'm almost indicting myself when I
show the friggin picture. They look at me
for five minutes. I gotta change the picture.
I'm gonna dye my hair blonde and put it in pigtails
and put on a nice halter top.
What?
Anyhow,
so anyways,
yeah,
through executive order,
Trump issues this ban
on, you know,
refugees from seven
different countries
and of course,
the leftist jerk-offs
are in a fucking uproar
because they just,
they don't know
what the fuck they're doing.
They have no way to,
they don't know how
to defend the country
and they can't believe that he's actually doing what he said.
And they're just in a fucking frenzy protesting at the airport and shit.
Do you guys ever fucking work on the left?
Seriously.
But over the weekend, there was some embarrassing displays by one Chucky Schumer.
Talk about a bitch every time i listen to him talk every time i can just hear fucking nicholson in the back of my head people
you have no idea how to defend a nation here is chucky schumer actually crying a couple days ago at a press conference in response to Trump's, you know, executive order.
Banning migrants and refugees from seven different countries.
Actually, ones that were the ones the Obama administration had on their radar as the most problem countries
but listen to Chucky I love the fucking camera I really think deep down he's a he's just a
frustrated a Broadway player he wants to be an actor I can't believe he you know wasn't on the
West Wing and shit this guy it's just so disgusting so just to turn on the tears made Meryl Streep look like Larry Storch
as far as acting goes that means he did a good job Larry Storch was never mind here is Chucky
Schumer and this is what the libs do best the left they play on your emotions they're fucking crying
I mean we got people getting gunned down in this country 9-11 terror attacks
and this he goes on and you know because everything goes on the internet it goes across
the world he has one of our strong leaders crying like a little bitch listen to him at this press
conference i think he did the old burt reynolds thing burt reynolds when he had a scene where he
had to cry he used to have somebody on the set set pull nose hairs with tweezers out of his nose
to make his eyes water.
I think it's what Chucky...
Listen to this acting.
Oh, my God, what an embarrassment.
Oh.
So, this executive order...
Here's the snip.
...was mean-spirited... Mean-spirited....un-American. is the snip was mean spirited
mean spirited
un-American
it was implemented
in a way that created chaos
and confusion
and it will only serve
to embolden and inspire
those around the globe
who will do us harm
it might be reversed immediately
listen to the sniffing
chuck schumer is one of our strong leaders from the democrat party
chucky it's gonna be all right there's an adult in charge don't worry then he started reading
from the uh statue of liberty give us your tired your poor your huddle math what a jack off all do
respect to amy schumer who is related i think you used to say that i don't know she's kidding
oh come on ch. Somebody stick a tit
in his mouth, please. He's really upset. Don't worry about it.
Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Can you fucking imagine and this this mentality if i am a person this is just going to embolden terrorists
so the people are already killing us we're going to make them more mad
by trying to by actually trying to stop them oh you're going to piss them off. They're going to kill us even harder.
Oh, my God.
The people who we already know hate us and have already killed us, including 9-11 and every other fucking town.
Oh, no.
This is just going to be a recruiting tool.
What a crock of shit.
All due respect.
Don't piss off the terror.
Don't piss off the guys who crucify children and behead
people don't piss them off you're gonna get them mad what kind of fucking girly mentality oh my god
and if i hear this one more time from somebody on the Democrats, that's not who we are as Americans.
How rich is that?
You just lost an election.
You are so far out of touch with what being an American is.
And by the way, 70% of people agree with what Trump's doing right now in Nepal.
Wait, that's not us as a country.
That is, those are against our values.
Hey, the fucking, I got news for you.
The Constitution isn't a suicide pact.
Okay?
It's about survival of the fittest.
You got the instincts of a two-year-old girl.
That's not who we are as Americans.
You have, you don't know who we are.
You just get beat by trump in an election that proves
you have no clue who the fuck what americans want and who we are
i mean come on now come on there come on your tears are so yummy they are in disarray
senator's crying on national TV.
Just read a story.
I'll get to it later.
NBC News wants to become the new Fox.
When you shake the core of NBC, which is, you know, they carried Obama's water for eight years.
The most fucking liberal of the major networks.
And when they're thinking about moving right, they are.
Nancy Pelosi's giving a press conference.
They are lost at sea, folks. They are low. We have them on the ropes. They are lost at sea, folks.
We have them on the ropes.
They are lost at fucking sea.
Just, it's unbelievable.
Oh, God help us.
And the left just, I mean, they're just not going to lay down.
They're just coming at Trump fucking, you know,
they'll try to impeach him in the next couple weeks.
They've lost their fucking minds.
It's crazy. I don't see how a civil war can't happen in this country,
especially if you're sucker punching people who you disagree with at airports and shit.
You know, this is what real change looks like.
You know, this is what real change looks like.
You can't have it both ways.
You know, Americans getting killed, whether it's San Bernardino or it was Boston Marathon or the Pulse nightclub in Orlando. And their argument is, yeah, but none of those guys are from these countries
that Trump's been.
What the fuck difference does that make?
There's still hotbeds of terrorism,
even according to Obama.
If Trump banned all the countries that he'd like to,
then you'd really be shitting your pants.
But I do agree,
and I do agree with this though,
Saudi Arabia is where all this shit starts, with the madrasas and all that shit.
And the people are saying, well, Trump does business here.
That's why they're not on the list and blah, blah, blah.
And there's some legitimacy towards that.
But what if he did put them on the list and like nine other countries, Egypt, and you'd be screaming even more.
There don't be a ban against all Muslims.
But, you know, so I don't totally disagree with that argument.
I say more.
Again, it's temporary.
It's 90 days.
So, but you would think the fucking sky is falling.
And again, it's the same arguments.
It's unconstitutional.
It's racist.
It's big, bigoted.
It's the same horseshit.
You guys just lost an election.
That shit doesn't fly anymore.
But I'll tell you what I'm loving.
Is how Sean Spicer, the spokesman for Trump and Reince Priebus, when they go on these Sunday morning shows,
they are taking no shit from
fucking weasel Chuck Todd and meet the press it's hilarious I thought Chuck Todd was gonna cry
he was being interviewed I'll play in a few seconds Reince Priebus was on with him of course
having to defend Trump's uh policy here his executive order and I it's unbelievable they
are taking whether it's Kellyanne Conway or, like I said, Sean Spicer,
they are taking no shit.
And I love the fact, this is my most, this is the most enjoyment I'm getting out of it.
And that Trump, you know, considers the media, you know, like an opposing party, the enemy.
He comes right out and says it to the opposition party.
And they are the fucking media in cahoots with the democratic party has us headed towards civil war
and i and there's dickheads on the internet blaming trump he's been in office what fucking
10 days already like he started all this shit like obama didn't put us in this fucking mess
after eight years of his shit foreign policy and and now
trump has to clean up his mess but you can't have it both ways you can't have people being gunned
down on american soil and then saying but it's gonna hurt facebook and all these high-tech
companies they're not gonna be able to get the smart immigrants and the good ones um we get a
lot from you can't have it both ways, folks.
How the fuck can you argue?
What are we, 16 years from 9-11?
It's like they have no memory on the fucking left whatsoever.
Somebody has to take charge.
It's so refreshing to me.
Oh, but it's steeped in racism and Steve Bannon's a fucking Nazi.
They were bad-mouthing Steve Bannon because Trump is mixing up the order on the National Security Council.
And he's including Steve Bannon. And I'm watching TV when I got home.
I watched all the Sunday shows.
I caught up last night.
I was still drinking when I got to the airport.
But they keep bringing up Steve Bannon.
How can he be sitting on the National Security Council?
The guy, he's a fucking website editor.
They keep bringing,
they don't mention that he was a naval officer.
Oh, by the way, he's a Nazi too,
and he hates Jews
because they didn't mention Jews
in a Holocaust statement.
And they are just in a fucking,
they are making such asses of themselves.
A lot of Holocaust deniers you think would work at Goldman Sachs?
I don't know.
That seems kind of fucking odd to me,
but they don't even mention that he was a naval officer, you know.
And this is real change, folks.
This is what it looks like from the right.
So don't lose your tits, okay?
Let the adults handle it.
Go about your day.
Churn out more commercials
where you make fucking
white Republicans look stupid
in sitcoms and movies.
Not on Hollywood,
had the SAG Awards.
I didn't even bother.
I didn't even bother
pulling those clips.
I couldn't fucking,
I couldn't take it
because I'm so embarrassed
that that's the industry
I want to be a part of
or did
some guy from SAG some guy from like the head of the unions uh after the Trump inauguration he'll
go don't worry we'll find out who we'll look in the credits to see who helped him put it on another
just outwardly threatening anybody that in the entertainment industry that helped Trump with his inauguration.
They're going to, you know, blackball him and shit.
What fascist little cocksuckers.
Speaking of fascist little cocksuckers, let's go to NBC before they convert to being like Fox to meet the press with Chuck Todd.
He had Rents Prevus on.
And I love, again, this is my,
since Trump became president,
this is my favorite part,
how they are taking no shit,
especially like Chuck Todd,
who is so, he makes David Gregory look like he was unbiased,
but here's Chuck Todd and Reince Priebus
trying to defend what Trump just did
with the executive order,
banning, you know banning refugees and migrants for this by the way the seven countries are iraq syria iran libya somalia sudan and yemen and they can't come into the u.s for the next uh 90 days
oh my god how drastic.
But like I said, Obama,
he labeled these countries of concern.
And yes, it's different what he did. It wasn't as broad as what Trump's doing, blah, blah, blah.
But here's Chuck Todd
and Reince Priebus. I swear to God, I thought
Chuck Todd was going to cry. He like
made a weird move with his mouth and he swallowed real hard
because Reince wasn't having any of his fucking horse shit.
Here is that clip.
Where the hell is it?
Are you, by having to put in an extra hurdle for a green card holder in order to get back into the country,
how are you confident that doesn't violate their rights and that it doesn't end up making this order unconstitutional?
First of all, the order is not affecting green card holders moving forward, okay?
That's number one.
I'm confused by that.
You keep saying going forward.
You just said it did. I'm confused by that. You keep saying going forward. You just said it did.
I'm confused.
You said it does.
Green card holders from those seven countries.
If you would just slow down for a second and listen, I could answer your question.
I understand that, but you've twice confused me, so I'm trying to understand the clarity.
It's because you don't stop talking, Chuck.
I love you, but let me answer.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. let me answer oh my god
when he said
because you don't
stop talking
Chuck Todd
made his little
his lips get all tight
I thought he was
going to fucking cry
I fucking love it
it's just a whole new attitude because these fucking shows have been fucking cry. I fucking love it.
It's just a whole new attitude.
Because these fucking shows have been lying
the whole fucking mainstream media
is so far left in the tank
you can't fucking deny that.
They don't even deny it.
Oh, I just
loved it. I thought he was
going to goddamn cry.
It really was
beautiful.
Fucking people.
You have no
idea how to defend a nation.
Yeah.
Here's a little bit,
here's the difference between what Obama
did and
what, you know,
what Trump's doing.
In 2015, December of Obama signed into law a measure placing limited restrictions on
certain travelers who had visited Iran, Iraq, Sudan or Syria on or after March 1st, 2011.
Two months later, the Obama administration added Libya, Somalia and Yemen to the list
in what it called an effort to address the growing threat from foreign terrorist fighters.
Foreign terrorist fighters.
Can there be any more fucking broad with the line?
The restrictions specifically limited what is known as visa waiver travel by those who
had visited one of the seven countries within specified time period.
People who previously could have entered the United States without a visa were instead
required to apply for one if they had traveled to one of those seven countries.
Under the law, dual citizens of visa waiver countries and Iran, Iraq, Sudan, or Syria
could no longer travel to the United States without a visa.
Dual citizens of Libya, Somalia, and Yemen could, however, still use the visa waiver
program if they hadn't traveled to any of the seven countries after March 2011.
Trump's order is much broader.
It bans all citizens from those seven countries from entering the U.S.
and leaves green card holders subject to being rescreened after visiting those countries.
The executive order specifically invoked the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack.
But where were the protests back then even back then
uh yeah yeah and where are all the protests trump tweeted i think this morning where were all the
protests when the because all the jobs that were fleeing this nation because the big argument now
from the left is well this band is going to affect us getting people over here on working visas
and that you know that that source of talent where facebook and all these high
tech companies get these smart people uh how you know if you're going to keep them out of the
country we're fucked but you weren't you weren't whining you weren't fucking protesting when jobs
were fleeing the country to mexico and china or wherever else the fucking media you just
it's so blatant it's so blatant now that trump's in office what they used to be up to
i hope trump comes out and goes you know what i am gonna fucking include egypt saudi arabia turkey
uae he should and i agree with those people saying hey just because it's funny you do business in
those countries are we supposed to believe that didn't have i think it did personally but uh but like i said if he did include those countries then
everybody would be shitting you're not letting any muslims in just for 90 days
trump sounds like the mayor in the the movie jaws
just for a few just for a few days. The beaches will be open just for the week.
Ah, mama mia.
So, but, you know, the fucking
protesting and the...
Which is fine.
Which is fine.
But, you know, to suck
a punch on some kid, it was like
10 leftist scumbags against four Trump supporters.
That's what it said in the article I read.
But you know what's funny, folks?
While I was gone,
I read a book that makes me,
I don't know that I'm ever going to vote again,
and you guys probably already read it,
because it probably came out like 10 years ago or so,
but it's been updated a few times. But
the book is The True Story of the Bilderberg Group by Daniel Eschelin. If I'm saying that
right, I hope. But you guys might have read it when it came out. But if you haven't, get
it today because you'll never, you know how we always, a lot of us jaded people believe
that, you know, the world is run by 12 people in a room.
I was wrong about that.
It's about 30 people.
But I'm telling you, I don't know that I'm ever going to vote again.
I really don't.
Just get the book and read it.
It's just the creepiest.
And who belongs to it?
What a book. I couldn't put it down.
It's crazy good.
And it's like, oh, my vote has never really mattered?
I knew, like, Bill Hicks used to do a great bit about,
you know, I agree with the puppet on the left.
I agree with the puppet on the right.
Wait a minute, there's one guy controlling both puppets.
Well, this book just sort of confirms all that shit.
The Council on Foreign Relations, CFR, and the Tri-Lateral Commission, and the Bilderberg Group.
Those are the three groups. And like every president since the 1920s has gone.
It started in the 50s.
They started the 50s, like 1954.
They started meeting it.
And it started at the Bilderberg Hotel.
And so every year, it's like, you know, it's grown and grown.
And even like Tom Brokaw attended the meetings.
He's like a Bilderberger.
But you notice the mainstream media has never reported on any of this shit.
Why? Because they're part of this.
It's so creepy.
Just read it.
I'm not going to go.
You probably, a lot of you who are kind of politic junkies probably read it when it came out
but holy shit i was it made me so i thought i was cynical but uh it's like all this shit and
then i'm looking at trump going now he hasn't been included in the meetings yet. But, you know, I mean, what they describe in the book is like, you know, Trump is like,
he's like one of the puppets being played and probably doesn't know it.
Nixon was fucked.
Fucking Henry Kissinger fucked Nixon right in the ass.
The whole Watergate thing was like planned with Kissinger right in the middle of it.
So creepy.
Read it.
I mean, I knew a little of this shit went on, but holy Christ, felt like a virgin reading this shit. The true story of the
Bilderberg group, Daniel Estulin, E-S-T-U-L-I-N. Get it? You'll love it. You'll fucking love it.
You'll fucking love it.
And then I, you know, then I read The Life Story of Kim Kardashian.
No, I didn't.
I had a bunch of books with me.
I had U.S. Constitution for Dummies, Politics for Dummies.
It was embarrassing. The guy's going through my bag on the way there.
What are you, fucking retarded?
All your books say dummy on them.
I said, shut it.
But yeah, get that one.
Fucking crazy.
But I'm just so tired of this.
This is not us.
This is not American stand for.
The fucking left. You know what we stand for either watching our country you know just by the way and there's people for and against what
there's actually uh some you know victims of the uh marathon bombing in boston there's one guy
defending trump and and there's some who uh know, say what he's doing is fucking wrong.
Ba-ba-bum.
So, but it looks like the 60s, doesn't it?
I get home.
I'm fat and I'm brown right now.
I'm surprised.
I come back from vacation. I probably put
on five and steady diet of rum and cheeseburgers, late night eating. And yeah, I was fucked
up for a good week. This is me.
This is what I sounded like the whole week.
Excuse me. Have you ever been in Schenectady?
No, I never was in Schenectady.
Neither was I.
It must have been a couple other guys.
That's me at immigration.
I started feeling I've seen your face someplace else.
No, it's always been right here.
On top of my neck.
Maybe you've seen me on television.
Oh, no, I've never been on television.
See, is it our home?
All right.
If I join you, I'll just drop in for a little drink
To settle my nerves before I go to work
Work?
What sort of work do you do?
I'm an airline pilot?
I used to be a bus driver.
But I quit.
Too many drunks on the road.
Oh, yeah.
El Presidente beer.
I must have had, I don't know, seven of those a day.
That's not that, that's puny compared to some people I know.
But I went to St. Bart's, and you got to land in St. Martin.
Then you take a little puddle jumper, and, you know and it's just a little plane that holds about 10 people.
It's really fucking hairy, but it's well worth risking your life.
I told on an earlier show I had mentioned, I was doing that show, Dumbest Criminals, True TV or whatever.
One of the clips was like it showed airplane crashes
and one of them was a plane going off the runway when it landed at saint barge at that little some
of you guys have been they know what i'm talking about it's really kind of fucking hairy and my
poor wife who has panic attacks um she started to freak out i couldn't believe she even gets on one
of these things um but luckily she she like focuses
on her like iphone or something and gets it but uh uh i can't believe she even gets on this plane
but she started to freak out and she's then she's added look down on her phone like to distract her
there's certain ways you can prevent panic attacks and uh it was kind of fucking weird anyhow and you
know sometimes when she has them she'll she'll off her, she'll start sweating, she'll rip off her top, whatever she has on,
it's kind of fucking, anyhow, why am I telling you that, oh, I don't know, but, uh,
it was great, the hardest part, though, isn't it? Going to the beach when you're married is,
you know, I'm carrying all the shit. I got the beach chairs and shit. And, you know,
I'm the one that'll pick a spot to lay down on the beach. And, you know, it's French. A lot of
French, a lot of European on this island. And my wife's behind me and, you know, I'm trying to
make it not look too obvious, but there's a girl laying on the towel. She behind me and you know i'm trying to make it all look too obvious
but there's a girl laying on the towel she's about you know on a scale of 10 she's about a 12
like probably 21 years old and i kept putting down the umbrella right next to one of them and she's
like what the fuck i'm like what where do you want to go the other choice is those two fucking
guys in their late 80s down there playing frisbee naked with their balls hanging down like great things want to go sit down by them and then uh you know then i end
up tearing a muscle in my eye trying to look out of the corner of my eye my wife's on my left and
the girl in the blanket's two feet away but uh i'm sure you can all relate to that um
so i come back and i get that global entry thing,
and if you don't have that, folks, you got to get it.
You know, I get back through, my wife's still there, by the way.
She's still in St. Barts with her girlfriend, Stacy.
I wanted to get back because I had to do this and other stuff,
a lot of other stuff.
So I said, hon, I can do seven days.
You can do the 10.
So she calls her girlfriend,acy in los angeles who flies from listen to this flies from la to new york she's from bulgaria so she's always she has no problem flying like these long this is
she goes from la to new york and then has to connect in New York which is another four hours to St.
Bart's actually to St. Martin and then a 10-minute flight to St. Bart's can you imagine all that for
three days of fun in the sun what the fuck but anyways uh yeah so I left uh yesterday and uh
thank god for the global entry fucking thing. I get to immigration at JFK
and there's a long line of people
and the one I would usually be in.
But then there's that line,
global past people.
I show the guy my thing,
walk right up to,
there's a bunch of kiosks
and I thought I was gonna be able
to just blow through
and show him the thing.
I didn't know you still had to go to a kiosk.
Really, I'm clueless when it comes to this shit but uh you know they make it so easy a fucking
retard can handle put the scan in my passport take a picture of myself it's then you put your
four fingers down it takes your four fingerprints which they've already done when i signed up
obviously right and uh back in october me and the wife went to JFK and did this on a Wednesday afternoon.
So then you put your four fingerprints down,
that lights up, and it spits out a receipt
with a picture that you took of yourself.
There's a camera you're looking to.
And then you head the hell out.
It literally took 30 seconds.
And I'm looking at this long line going,
that's right, suckers.
And then I handed my thing to some guy,
TSA, immigrationigration Customs guy,
and I started to go a little further.
Another guy stopped me and goes,
where's your receipt?
I said, I gave it to him over there,
and the guy goes, hey, you got this guy's receipt,
and he starts chuckling,
and I go, yeah, he's got it,
and he goes, I'm a comedy fan,
but this is the third or fourth time
that I get recognized.
I'm so famous, folks.
I can't go to the fucking mall without being mauled by people. I said with my tongue on my cheek. But immigration,
everybody seems, there are guys that are like a little younger than me, so they would be comedy
fans and shit. But it kind of makes me nervous. It's like, really? You're a Comedy Central fan
and you're keeping us safe? What the fuck? Are you kidding me but uh yeah so then i i go outside
a kid on the plane told me this young kid long island kid said that the cab driver's union was
on strike in new york that is probably going to be a nightmare it's always a nightmare getting a cab
at jfk because it's an international airport and there's 90 people in line just to get
a cab. So I have one carry-on bag, so I didn't have to do that. I'm just following all these
makeshift signs they put up saying taxi through Kennedy Airport. It was a bit of a walk,
but I finally get outside after about a five-minute walk and there's one guy in front of me.
The cab guy comes up to me, the in the booth he goes your cab is the
second one where you going i'm i'm back to the fucking hotel where i left my car a week ago in
about eight minutes and i made it home in 51 minutes 52 minutes and it's 52 miles away i'm
just saying get the global entry thing it's like 80 something dollars if you travel a lot
internationally and shit i got the pre-check thing on it so like 80 something dollars if you travel a lot internationally and
shit i got the pre-check thing on it so when i go through security you know whatever any i'm just
saying and then i come home and put on the tv and i'm seeing about all these people being detained
because of trump's executive by the way three did it bother anybody 325 000 foreign people were
trying to get into the country just on like on yesterday.
And 109 of them were detained for further questioning.
Oh, my God.
How horrible.
How horrible.
And what a blanket of just, you know, just generalizing it.
109 out of 325,000 people, you know, that needed some extra questioning,
it doesn't make you feel a little more comfortable, that's not who we are, oh, shut the fuck up,
yeah, it is, we're smart, please,
but they're fleeing from, and we're all immigrants.
Yes, yes.
First of all, we're not all immigrants.
Yes, our grandparents were immigrants.
Please separate illegal from legal.
Can you separate refugee from immigrant, migrant from,
can you please distinguish?
Oh, God help us.
So what are you saying?
You just want the status quo as is, the way it was?
No fucking borders?
Is that what you're saying?
People who are protesting and calling Trump a Nazi and racist?
What the fuck do you want?
Then don't come whining the next time a nightclub is shut up
or people are killed at Fort Lauderdale Airport, by the way.
By the way, that kid, don't you like how that news leaked out like a week later?
That he was radicalized online and shit?
They kept that hush-hush.
So keep an ear out for what happened in Quebec last night.
Because, you know, once again, they handle it like here.
We really don't know who and what the motive.
You'll find out.
They'll release that shit three weeks from now.
Another trick that the media does.
So do your own research, folks.
Jesus Christ.
You can't have it both ways.
Do you want to live in a secure country?
Maybe you don't.
Maybe you're like John Kerry and you're like, hey, you know what?
We can afford to take a hit here and there.
Or like Obama's attitude.
Well, you know, terrorism is the new normal.
Every once in a while we're going to get whacked.
But fuck it.
The odds of you getting whacked by a terrorist are just ridiculously low.
So go on with your lie.
Maybe you believe that shit.
Not me.
Not me.
I like to dance at places like the Pulse nightclub.
And I don't want to get whacked at the mall.
I'm kidding about the dancing, by the way.
But I'm just fucking saying. you can't have it both ways.
Okay?
Stop with your politically correct horse shit.
That's what I learned from watching TV today.
Last night for eight hours.
Catching up on all the Sundays.
Martha fucking Raddatz, please go home and please cut your wrists like Frankie Five Angels
and lay in a tub and bleed the fuck out, you fucking dried up has-been
hack. Oh my God. She read a statement. Somebody called Steve Bannon. Oh, Valerie Jarrett said,
this is nuts what Trump's doing. I think it was Valerie Jarrett. I can confuse her face with the
other one. The fucking Rice, Donna Rice, whatever her name was. But it was Valerie Jarrett, I think,
who said, this is nuts and crazy
what Trump's doing with the Security Council
and putting Steve Bannon in there.
And then somebody called him nuts and crazy
and a Nazi.
And somebody, Sean Spicer,
whoever Martha Rattus was interviewing,
going, well, that's just,
those words are just, you know,
that's unfortunate and unkind, those words.
And she goes real sarcastically, what, nuts and crazy?
In other words, we all know he's a Nazi.
It was, I wanted to reach for the TV and grab her wrinkled old fucking chicken neck and choke her out.
I think it was Sean Spicer she was interviewing.
He didn't even pick up on it.
But anyhow You think abortion should be a litmus test
It's the same shit
Over and over again
God help us
God help us
By the way did I tell you my boiler last night
In my basement
I'm watching TV and then I go downstairs
And watch more TV and I come back upstairs
A couple hours later,
and I notice my boiler was off and had to fuck with that today.
Welcome back, Nick.
Anyhow, any he.
I'm like a bitch, too.
I'm looking at the burner going, if I pull this lever,
it's calling for water, but it's not getting any water.
There's 19 levers.
This house was built in, you know, 1456.
And anyways, it's going again i'm all over the map i understand folks this is how i do the show it's a fucking podcast who gives
a rat's ass are you with me but uh i had to watch i had about five uh tucker car Carlson shows backed up. So I watched like the latest one.
And he had a guy on named Kevin Appleby who directs the Migration and Refugee Services
Office of Migration and Refugee Policy at the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.
In that role, Mr. Appleby assists the bishops in the development and promotion of migration,
refugee policy positions within the context of the church's social and moral teachings.
He also implements communication, public education, outreach, and legislative strategies
that foster greater advocacy, awareness, understanding, support for the work of the
migrant refugee service and the vulnerable populations it serves in other words he's on there you know
saying why we have to take in syrian refugees and and here's the moral argument and blah blah blah
and uh tucker carlson just once again twisting this guy it's like watching it's like watching
a fucking magician at a kid's party at chucky cheese twisting a balloon into a fucking farm
animal or a poodle this guy didn't know whether
to shit his little pants by the end he was stuttering i'll play a little bit tucker carlson
is like the muhammad ali of debating and i'm sorry it's just clear he's so much smarter when he gets
up against these lefties who have all this politically correct horseshit, and just, he just takes them apart
at the fucking joints.
But, so this is, yeah, Kevin Appleby,
the Director of Migration and Refugee Services,
Office of Migration and Refugee Policy
at the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops,
telling basically, you know,
why we should take these people in.
And here's Tucker giving the other side of the story.
By the way, Tucker Carlson's ratings,
and again, you go, why are you blowing him up?
Because I've been singing this guy's praises for 15 years,
and when I did Red Eye, I said to him,
why are you not on,
why do you not have your own show on Fox News Channel?
Will you please explain that to me?
And anyways, he's doubling the ratings of megan kelly
megan kelly used to have the nine o'clock spot that he took off he is doubling the fucking her
ratings and she was pretty damn good because nbc just gave her 12 mil a year but here's tucker
carlson versus mr appleby and other experts who will say the same thing. One specific benefit, specific benefit the U.S. has derived from settling refugees specifically, not just they like us more.
We show leadership. But like what specifically we got out of it?
I think we've increased security in nations throughout the world.
If they become destabilized when you have too many refugees in a certain country or one certain area? Name one country that's become much more stable
because we've allowed its refugees to move here and paid for their resettlement.
I'll talk about countries that have not become unstable because we've helped them.
I'm just asking for one tangible benefit.
Lebanon, for example, which has 1.5 million Syrian refugees in their country.
Right.
And we've helped them with foreign assistance to maintain those refugees so that they don't go into political downfall. That's in the interest
of the United States. I'm saying how many countries can you name, or how about one,
whose refugees we have taken into our borders, and it's made that country more stable and us
more safe? Just name one. I would say Syria is one of them Syria is in pretty good shape now
Turkey
We've taken a lot of Syrians from Turkey
for example
That's all part of helping Turkey keep their borders open
so that people can flee
and have their lives saved
Turkey seems in rough shape
but the debate continues
Kevin, thanks for joining us
Stop the fight, please
Somebody jump in there.
Fucking, oh my God.
And you blew it!
You blew it.
Uh, Syria.
He asked them to name a country that was stabilized because we took refugees.
He actually said Syria.
Yeah, I got a summer home in Aleppo.
It's fucking gorgeous there this time of year.
I enjoy mustard gas and Syria.
No, Turkey.
Lebanon.
Yemen.
Oh, my God.
You can actually see his hands.
He was getting more nervous.
He was like twitching his fingers.
Again, when you cut through the politically correct bullshit,
which fucking Tucker Carlson does,
it's so obvious the left is full of shit.
If I have anything to take away from today's show,
or you should.
Oh, God.
Trump's a Nazi.
He's a racist.
He's a bigot.
Oh, my God.
Okay, next time there's a fucking mass killing here,
and we're going to get hit again.
Could be worse than 9-11.
We'll just remember that.
Chuck Schumer crying on national TV.
Nancy Pelosi giving a speech today, I think.
Oh my God, they lost at sea.
That's all I got to say.
And you fucking scumbags sucker punching people who are defending Trump at airports.
Just, I watched when I was on vacation, had the old Netflix, you know, the fucking Apple
box hookup.
I was watching reruns of Adam 12.
Remember that show?
One Adam 12.
See the man at the corner of Sierra Bonita and Fifth Street.
It was so, I watched the first eight episodes, eight or nine.
Listen to this not one
criminal of color by the way yes it was in north hollywood is where the show was set which was very
white back back in the 1960s late 60s or whatever um it's in the valley that that was their uh
their district they were patrolling but it was so funny one of the one of the episodes um
uh pete malloy that was played by martin miller they had to go to a college campus and you know
and uh i forget which one it was you know outside of la and the left-wing radicals uh you know
calling him a pig they trashed his car and shit because he was a cop the same exact shit that's
what i say today when you watch the news these fucking people are stuck in 1965 um but it was so funny he was a cop trying to go to a community college
they trashed his car and called him pig and shit it was so priceless but then he got he did this
whole monologue i should try to find it where he just lectured one of the professors and called
him a fool and it was so great but it's the same shit
it's the same shit how we open the show today the unrest on college campuses it's fucking and again
it's a west coast i know it happens all over the country but this this fucking mentality took hold
on the west coast this new age psychology again get judge bork's book, Slouching Towards Gamora.
That's the other one I always.
But get the true story of the Bilderberg Group.
If you did anything from this show, the true story of the Bilderberg Group.
It's so fucking good.
Anyhow, I think I've covered everything.
Again, if you like the show, go to connectpal.com slash Nick.
Connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com
slash Nick.
And you can subscribe, get two to three more shows
a week for $3.99 a month.
One final thing, like I told you,
NBC wants to be the next
Fox News.
Media
insiders are buzzing that
Andy Lack wants NBC to become
the next Fox News after he poached cable stars.
Greta Van Susteren, you remember old Stroke Mouth?
Great show tonight.
And Megyn Kelly.
He believes he's building MSNBC and NBC into the next Fox.
That must be news to Rachel Maddow and her big fat cock.
It seems that the network wants to take a more conservative tone.
Holy shit.
What are you going to do?
Replace the peacock
with a fucking dirty pigeon?
Kelly was hired at NBC
without official time slot,
but they revealed
she'll be taking over
the 9 a.m. or the 10 a.m. hour
of today in September.
Ew.
She's getting $12 million a year for the gig,
which includes a Sunday talk show. Some people fear that Megyn Kelly might not be worth the bucks
since her Fox replacement Tucker Carlson nearly doubled her ratings on Fox News after her
departure. You can't beat a smart white fella who used to wear a bow tie. I'm telling you.
Can't beat a smart white fella who used to wear a bow tie.
I'm telling you.
But, you know, Megyn Kelly was easy on the eyes, too.
You know what?
If she looked like fucking Rachel Maddow or any, pick any broad from the left with a five o'clock shadow and no tits, her ratings would have probably really stunk.
That's sexist to say, Nick.
That's not fair.
I know.
I'm just telling you how life works uh anyhow so they're thinking about moving out msnbc anchor joy reed you know that uh hateful
black woman who pretends to like white people yeah and they haven't redone her contract but
they say that's not true somebody's spokesman says that's not true she's working on the contract
whatever the point is folks of the story is story is NBC wants to be like Fox, more conservative.
Good luck.
What are you going to do with Jeff Zucker?
Is that his name?
Is it Jeff Zucker?
I should know.
Anyhow, that is it.
Again, the Nick DiPaolo podcast, available on iTunes for free on Mondays,
and riotcast.com.
But if you want to subscribe, connectpal.com slash Nick.
What am I forgetting?
I hadn't done this in a little while.
I did a show before I left for you guys.
I put one in the can.
Listen to this.
And I thought I put it in the Dropbox to, you know, Riotcast.
And then Rob texted me when I was on vacation saying, he goes, there's nothing in the Drop box to you know riot cast and then rob texted me when i
was on my case saying he goes there's nothing in the drop box he was going to release it on monday
that's why we released a best of of uh the michael dowden interview uh you know the dirty new york
cop uh we were but i but i found the show that i did for you guys and i put a lot of work into it
i was pulling all these clips of Obama
making fun of Trump.
And it was all about, I think,
the day that Trump said,
fuck this guy, I'm going to run for president.
I had all these clips and shit.
Maybe I'll release it down the road,
but it doesn't make much sense now.
But that's what happened.
Anyhow, any he.
Do we have it all?
That is it.
I will talk to you, you subscribers, tomorrow.
And it's good to be back, folks.
I missed you while I was gone.
But like I said, a lot of dirty French whores walking around on the beach.
My stunning wife, who, by the way, for somebody her age, spring in the heat.
I've got to be honest with you.
And it's natural.
It makes me sick.
She's eating like two bacon cheeseburgers, drinks two beers, and lays on the couch.
Gets up, she's ripped.
She has the metabolism of a NFL running back.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Some type of racial crack I thought I'd leave you with.
I've got to get out of here before I get in trouble.
Hey, hey,
I saved the world today.
Hello, I'm Bob!
Hello, I'm Bob!
Hello, I'm Bob!
Things go away.
There's a new sheriff
in town, folks.
Get used to it.
I'm scared to stay
Please let it stay
Hey, hey, I saved the world today
Everybody's happy and all the bad things gone away guitar solo I'm out.