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And now, the Nick DiPaolo Show.
Oh yeah, it's Monday. P-fucking-U, I say.
How are you, folks? Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Radio Show.
I'm your host, Kevin Brennan.
What?
How's it going? How was your weekend?
Huh?
That was terrific.
Father's Day.
It was Father's Day.
Did you enjoy Father's Day?
Did you enjoy Major League Baseball dressing all the teams in
faggy powder blue?
Can anybody enjoy that?
You couldn't pick a royal blue.
It had to be a faggy powder blue.
The emasculation continues.
I'm watching the Sox and the
Astros with my
dad, who suffers from Alzheimer's, but
I couldn't figure out who the teams were.
Exact same uniforms, with light
blue, powdery, faggy
colored blue.
Seriously, it's just...
Anybody else had enough of oh oh let's talk about prostate women
prostate cancer it's breast cancer where it's osteoporosis weekend at the ballpark can i enjoy
my sports without you dragging some type of disease into it can i have that much isn't that
what facebook is for you can take pictures of your friends and you running a 10K for breast cancer
and can you just let me
have my sports?
Please.
It's a place.
It's supposed to be
a release from that.
That's what we used to do.
Go to the ballpark.
Get away from it.
Now everybody's got a ribbon on
and prostate cancer
and Michael Milk
and they have him in the booth.
Guy talks for about 32 minutes,
32-minute monologue on prostate cancer.
We're aware of that, folks, you know?
But we don't need the light.
We don't need the pink in the NFL
and the light blue in the baseball.
Just keep your activism where it belongs,
on social media.
But we're making people aware.
We're all aware.
If one in three guys get prostate cancer,
we're all aware of it.
You can't avoid it.
Personally, I don't mind a prostate exam.
Sometimes the wife weeks on end
where she gets frigid.
Anybody can stick something in there.
What?
What kind of talk is that?
I can't believe it.
I'll tell you, the last prostate exam I had i had my doctor this is what i thought i'd question
his credentials because he put the glove on he put the finger in there when he was done he went
over the wall he put an x on the you know marked off like you know what do you call those when you
put five and then you cross it there's a word for that but I'm looking at my producer, Andy Flowers. It's a tally mark.
A tally.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Brendan Scores, the kid out of Kentucky.
He's used to fingers up in there.
They do that.
That's a family reunion for Kentucky.
But yeah, a tally mark.
The guy tally marked with his dirty rubber glove.
I used to have a great bit about that.
I said the guy was in there.
It was like he was a homeless guy looking for a quarter on a payphone,
which is a tremendous line.
But again, payphones went the way of the fucking.
It's one of my best lines ever.
Quinn said it was the quintessential.
But yeah, I don't need to hear that shit when I'm watching a ball game.
I'm just trying to enjoy the Astros and the Red Sox.
And by the way, the Sox took two or three from the best team in baseball.
What are you pointing at?
That kid died.
American dies after returning from North Korea.
That little zip-ahead cocksucker has to die.
I'm talking about Pudgy with a Shemp Howard haircut in North Korea has to go.
He's got to go.
They did something to that kid yeah they gave him a uh cuckoo's nest
mcmurphy special they probably tortured him choked him out i would be i don't know what i'd do that's
my kid north korea is not it's not like going to la to get the guy it's a bit of a flight but
somebody has to die i hope mad dog mattis's an American. I don't give a shit.
And by the way, if you don't know
what I'm talking about, the guy got 15 years of hard
labor because he stole a poster off
a wall over there in Jingfau
Fling land.
Scum bucket.
Fuck stain.
Starving zone people. That shemp
haircut.
It's incensing me i bet you're uh joy reed what's her name the one that was tweeting about the steve scalise being you know what does that mean we i'll get to her in a few minutes
racist anyways it knocked me off my game anyway so that kid died that kid's It's racist. Anyways.
It knocked me off my game.
Anyway, so that kid died.
That kid's...
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
What a world, folks.
What a world.
I am furious.
By the way, this week we got John Fish, who I love.
Another Massachusetts guy, by the way, I think.
Or am I making that up? No, you're right. andy yep uh john fish funny and i'm not trying to be biased here but kendrick cunningham another massachusetts she's she's open for me all over
the country i call her the may west of uh our generation busty blonde with a sarcastic streak
not an ounce not a mean bone in her body,
one of the most likable, funny broads.
And that's right, I use the term broad because some lesbian told me that actually they like that.
Who's that lesbian? Judy Gold, 6'8", 275, out of the University of Oklahoma.
For Keith Jackson, Judy Gold.
Brandon likes it. Kentucky football. I like southern guys they know they
uh
if you want to check out
my tour dates
uh
call my wife
she'll be at home
answering the phone
uh
nickdip.com
is my tour dates
and follow me on
Twitter
and Instagram
could you follow me
on Twitter folks
on my personal
at Nick DiPaolo
hit me up on there
I need some followers
for Christ's sake
I'm being outdone
by kids who
you know
are on YouTube teaching people how to use a fucking dreidel uh I need some followers, for Christ's sake. I'm being outdone by kids who, you know, are on YouTube,
teaching people how to use a fucking dreidel.
I need some hits.
That made no sense, but what can I say?
Look at Greta Van Susteren with her crooked bass mouth,
this stroke-faced.
Boy, when she left and they got Tucker Carlson,
that was, man, that was just big for me.
Also, follow live up, for live updates,
follow the show at DePauloShowSXM.
If you're that bored.
Please do it, though.
It means a lot.
Yeah, I went up to, uh,
oh, I'm furious.
I'm fucking angry right now.
Trump slams brutal North Korea for former U.S. captives.
Good. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Trump?
What are you going to do about it?
I say a small nuke.
First of all, half the...
You know how you can really get him back?
You drop a trillion sandwiches over there because he starves his people.
Feed the people.
Drop him a bunch of six million BLTs. Well, whatever they eat over there because he starves his people. Feed the people. Drop him a bunch of six million BLTs.
Well, whatever they eat over there.
What are they like?
Fucking clams.
BRTs.
BRT.
Yes!
Andy Flowers.
Fastball down the middle.
He got all of that one.
BRT.
You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt.
That goes out to Ching Pang Hang, whoever fucking.
And Brett Baer, please, I enjoy your show,
but you got the haircut of a 14-year-old wrestler in high school.
God damn it.
How are you, folks?
866-969-1969.
866-969-1969. 866-969-1969.
I like to open a show with, you know, ever since that guy got furious that I go off on tangents.
That's how I like to open the show.
It's my favorite thing.
I went up to see my dad on Father's Day up in Boston.
It's hard to go home.
It really is.
I'm in my 50s.
I go and the TV is on 11 volume-wise on a scale of 5.
I go in, the TV is on 11 volume-wise on a scale of five.
And it's, I just, there's an infomercial and he's grooving out to some, some, some fucking Doobie Brothers infomercial.
You know, the power hits of the 70s and shit.
I turn it down a little.
My mother starts yelling at me.
And I'm, what did you date Michael fucking, what's his name?
The lead singer.
God damn it.
Can't remember.
I'm asking two kids that are 11 years old with Adobe singer.
But yeah, so I hit the mute button every time a commercial comes on.
And that throws the house into a frenzy.
My mother's like, what are you doing?
Why do you have to?
I go, what the fuck are you talking about? You taught me to hate loud commercials.
Now you're fucking enjoying.
Yes, I like to hear.
I don't like the silent.
You don't like the silent you don't like
the silence have more kids i know you're fucking 80 but have more you'll make the
oh god my sister had a cook out and it's hard man a ton of babies around i do i i admire women
as you get older you're really my sister has a she has a
party with about 40 people does all the cooking not to mention takes time to play with the 11
babies that are there stuff that i couldn't do in a million comedy made me very lazy and uh
but uh anyhow it was it was a decent weekend i guess it's hard to watch
people get old
and everybody there
a few people I haven't seen
in a few years there
it's like
oh my god
is life really that short
these kids that I met
a few years ago
they were like
literally in diapers and shit
oh he's a freshman
in high school
what
what do you mean
first of all
he didn't strike me
as bright enough
to go to high school
thought the kid was retarded
when I met him.
While he was four, he had a shit in his pants.
Anyhow.
I ramble.
Anyhow.
It's a dangerous situation.
Carrie Fisher had every drug in her body but fucking Advil PM.
Am I supposed to be upset?
I didn't care for Star Wars.
Boo fucking hoo.
She had cocaine, mdma so they found they they found a telethon in her body mdma isn't that like they found jerry lewis in
her blood hello she had uh heroin cocaine mdma which is ecstasy. We all know that. I like to take that and cuddle with my dog.
Anybody?
Raise your dirty hands.
Investigators could not determine what impact the drugs found in her system had on her death.
Well, let me help you out, investigators.
It fucking killed her.
It killed her.
We don't know what effect.
What do you mean you don't know what effect?
Well, technically, maybe cardiac arrest.
Yeah, you do an eight ball before you get on a plane.
It might have something to do with your death, you titmouse.
866-969-1969.
Again, I was never a Star Wars fan.
I was a weird little kid.
I liked pussy and sports.
I'll say it again.
It has to be a great movie.
I've never heard anybody who saw that didn't like it other than me and a couple of gents.
You know, me and Lawrence Taylor didn't like it.
I am out of my gut.
It found traces of heroin, MDMA, which is known as ecstasy.
But they could not determine when fisher had taken those drugs i'd
say right before she fucking died i'm gonna go out on a limb the findings were based on
toxicology screenings done on samples taken when the star wars actress did they have to put that
in there can't she just be a human being when the star wars actress could be a little cold about it
when the bitch who was in the background uh at L.A. L.A.
Hospital.
Coroner's officials ruled Fisher died from sleep apnea and a combination of other factors.
Yes.
The drugs knocked her out.
My wife has sleep apnea.
I'm trying to find one of those masks that looks like J-Lo.
I was trying to think about Hot Rod.
I can follow that one off, didn't I?
But anyways, you guys all know her.
She was Princess Leia.
And you know what?
I'm proud that I don't know that.
I know her mother was a hot shit
and they were good together.
But they die, what, a day of each other?
Yeah.
That's unbelievable.
I hope I don't die a day
when my mother dies because she's 80 and i'm 55 that'll be tragedy huh wait till they wait do you
see what they find in my bloodstream and they'll find uh reese's pieces and some yahoo yahoo
now they're gonna they're gonna find part of a fucking do you mean you
yahoo they're gonna find yahoo in my blood a failing search engine Yahoo? They're going to find part of a fucking... You mean you? Yahoo.
They're going to find Yahoo, my blood.
A failing search engine.
They found a failing search engine in Xbox.
They found a bit of Microsoft in his colon.
What?
Oh, my God.
Well, you know, I don't know what to tell you, folks.
She had a bunch of drugs in her.
She was a Hollywood star from a dysfunctional family.
It was a big surprise.
You know what I mean?
It's like finding Budweiser in Keith Richards when he dies.
Oh, Jesus H. Christ.
What a guest.
But she's gone.
What do you mean?
She's gone.
Now we can do about it.
She's gone.
What do you mean?
She's gone.
And we couldn't do nothing about it.
866-969-1969.
So it's a combination. A dangerous combination of drugs.
Speaking of drugs, folks, I'm off the Trazodone because that wasn't doing anything.
I was still getting my three and a half hours sleep, even on Trazodone.
And I was about to call the doc. That's why this guy's Dr. Rudin, by the way.
I don't know if I should mention his name, but I think he's great.
No, he called me today. I was going to call him, saying this isn't working.
He calls me, and I had seen him like a month ago.
Some people really do care.
Maybe he wants to sleep with me.
What?
So he calls me.
I'm kidding.
Good guy.
Very heterosexual.
And he says, how's that going?
I said, it's not working.
I was just about to call him, because he had mentioned doubling that up with Lunesta.
But I didn't like the word
esta and my drugs i uh so i may have a mean aunt i had no so he calls and says and i said yeah it's
not working and he says well what does work for us at avril p.m if i take two of those that'll
knock me out but then i have the mind of an autistic four-year-old boy
for the next two days.
And he replied to that,
but he said,
okay, he said,
well, I said,
I don't want to take Advil PM.
He goes, I know,
the ibuprofen's a little rough
on your stomach.
He goes,
Benadryl is the active ingredient
knocking you out
and Advil PM.
So take Benadryl.
So that's the next step.
And if that doesn't work,
I'm going to do the Carrie Fisher thing.
That seems to really put you to sleep.
Some people out there are upset.
I liked her.
That's not funny.
I didn't like Star Wars.
Like I said, it looked like a bowling trophy talking to a vacuum cleaner.
I couldn't follow it.
You know?
Chris in Rochester.
How are you, Chris? Welcome to the show. First caller of the week how you doing guinea boy no not too bad i'm going pretty good fuck baby uh happy belated
father's day listen yeah nick maybe if you didn't fucking snort coke all the time you'd
get some sleep and i don't know if you do or, but every goddamn show, you fucking find a way to mention snoring coke.
Well, I'm reading about an autopsy with a girl at Coke.
Should I have not mentioned that?
Well, you do every episode, though.
I know.
I think maybe, why don't you stay off the stimulants and start focusing on some depressants?
You know, take a little ketamine, a Vicodin, a Percacet, a cyclobenzaprine, something like that.
Or maybe a phone call from Rochester.
I agree.
Something depressing.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
You don't have to get fucking personal.
That's hurtful.
You know what, Chris?
It's funny you say that, because I did mention on the last show, my wife kept saying,
you keep mentioning cocaine, and they're going to think you're doing it.
And I said, who says I'm not?
Oh, did she really?
Yeah.
Oh, fucker.
All right, Chris.
Thank you, brother.
We'll talk to you later.
That was a good call.
Guy's actually funny.
I don't know.
I do mention it.
It's a reference, a drug reference I like to do.
Jesus H.
Is he really bothered by that?
I can see my wife being bothered by it.
I'm laying next to her grinding my teeth To a fine powder
Speaking of coffee
I just got another one from the Starbucks machine
I don't need the history of the coffee bean
With that little movie they show
You're not going to make me feel bad
Because a brown guy picked my beans
Okay?
Put some porn on there while I'm waiting for my coffee
Show me somebody getting banged right up the ass as I'm putting cream in my...
Guy or girl, I don't give a shit.
Mike in New Hampshire, welcome to the show.
I love New Hampshire.
I have two summer homes up there.
How are you?
Doing well.
How are you?
Yeah, pretty good.
So I think we just learned that Chris from Rochester is your wife.
So listen, I wanted to give you a call, man.
You fucking killed it at Comics Come Home.
You were the highlight of the show, so thank you for that.
You got it, brother.
But more on topic.
So I had to go home to Quincy to see my dad.
He's 77.
Just moved him a couple weeks into a different apartment
and took him out to dinner.
Got to bring the kids down there, do a Father's Day
thing. You know, he's got his
fried chicken dinner. He's fucking
falling asleep at the table.
You get back, he's got his TV.
It's like three apartments over. You can hear it.
So, dude,
I feel your pain.
Well, and God bless, you know, nobody i love more than my dad i you know
me and my mom are each other's throats for a long time i don't know but uh me and my dad and my dad
if you like my sense of humor it's where i got it my old man used to riff when we had company over
this guy was riffing uh you know off the top of his head and he would have people doubled over he had a natural gift
and i got about one-eighth of it but uh yeah it's uh it's tough to go home isn't it mike
it is but you know to your point again i'm 70 he's 77 years your parents in the 80s yeah you
got to do it it's part of the gig and uh you know just trying to keep funny with it that's right
you're killing the show man i love it thank trying to keep funny with it that's right you're killing
the show man i love it thank you mike appreciate it i like that the relationship with your parents
is a gig you gotta show up sometimes it's a shitty crowd but uh you know you can mail it in
it's part of the gig it is you gotta show your respect you know you got to what they did for us and again
i'm watching my sisters with her grandchildren and her daughters with their kids i really really
do have a respect you know i became a comic in my 20s when you do that you go on the road you
chase pussy you do whatever you're not paying attention to family matters.
Then you get to my age, and you go, and you see the, it's like, oh, I couldn't handle it.
I can see why I was telling dick jokes at midnight in Denver.
I couldn't handle what they do.
My sister had 40 people at her house.
She did all the cooking and everything.
Me and my asshole brother-in-law were sitting on the couch watching.
We should be cooking the chicken outside, grilling.
We were in there hammering, you know. It's, I don't know what i'm talking about talking about carrie fish oh yeah she showed up at the cookout she was really drugged up and then she dropped dead
dave in alabama says benadryl has been linked to dementia yes dave so is not sleeping though
you realize that right good point um i uh first of all one of the
main reasons i wanted to call was just to tell you how much i enjoy the show and it's very refreshing
to hear uh a non-liberal voice from the north so uh give some hope for the rest of the country you
know what dave i and i appreciate you saying that that's why you got to give it i'm not kissing my
bosses out but you got to give serious radio thumbs'm not kissing my bosses out, but you've got to give Serious Radio a thumbs up for, you know, putting me on.
They, you know, I mean, so, yeah, I'm glad you appreciate it.
I have a lot more politically in common with people down south than I do up here.
Well, it's a great show.
And, you know, I love the Opie show, too.
I mean, absolutely.
But it's refreshing to hear a conservative voice from
the north and uh yeah when you mentioned benadryl my wife used to take it every single day yep
because she couldn't sleep and now she's had to quit taking it because she's scared she's
going to get dementia so how long was she good how long was she taking it then
oh probably the last five years, every night.
Yeah, all that stuff. I'm convinced all that stuff.
And like I said, I said it to my wife today.
I said, I'm weighing whether, you know, not sleeping, which they said leads to dementia too.
I've read 19 articles on it.
And the sleep medication?
I told you, I took Ambien a few years ago.
I said to my doctor, this is making me almost violent the next day.
And he says to me over the phone, and I quote, he goes, yeah, they really don't know how this stuff works.
Well, yeah, so same thing happened to my wife.
Took an Ambien and made a Facebook post about me.
And I wake up the next morning, I'm like, hey, that was the sweetest post you've ever made.
And she's like, what are you talking about?
Oh, my God.
She had no recollection of it.
And that was after Ambien?
It makes people do crazy things.
Yeah, it makes people do crazy stuff.
Well, your wife could have done worse.
She wakes up and Terrell Suggs is in a bed.
She could have killed me in my sleep.
That's right.
She could have woke up with a meat cleaver in your floor.
She could have pulled a bobbin on me.
I'm telling you, at this point, it's almost welcome.
Anyways, David, thank you so much for
the call brother i'm still gonna take care take care and he's right but i'm gonna i have to do
something i slept uh honest to god three hours every night this way it was it ages you you get
the black rings under your eyes and you know it's kind of kind of depressing. Bill in Detroit on line three.
Bill, welcome to the show, sir.
How you doing, my man?
I'm doing good.
How you doing?
Very good.
Hey, I just got out of my car and I just caught the tail end of you bitching about...
Prostate cancer.
Somebody giving you a prostate cancer PSA during a baseball game or something?
during a baseball game or something?
Well, just not giving me a PSA,
but the increasing use of sports, broadcasting sports,
to make people aware of diseases that we're well aware of.
I'm just, you know.
I got you.
Look, here's why I'm calling you, man.
I just recently got diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Okay.
I had no idea, no symptoms, no nothing.
Right.
Just went and got a physical, found out I had stage two, right on the verge of stage three.
I'm 53, so never would have thought that was an issue.
And I kind of see it differently in that I get tired of the NFL and Major League Baseball doing the pink socks and the pink bats for breast cancer.
They need to pick something that their demographic actually has a chance of contracting.
Right.
You know?
And so anyway, my pitch is everybody's got to get the check because it's one of the easiest cancers to manage if you catch it early.
That's correct.
And I just barely caught mine early.
Right.
No symptoms.
Right.
So anyway, you got to get the word out somehow.
I don't know how they do it, but I'm doing my little piece here for all your listeners because I know you got millions of them out there get it checked okay it's so easy you know it's five seconds of it's a psa yeah get a blood test it's easy but too many too many guys die of this every year
and it's unnecessary it is it is unnecessary All right. I hope you never get it.
I probably will.
Sounds like you're up for the regular check.
Yeah.
I enjoy it.
That's good.
Yeah, I know.
I know you do.
I'm glad they caught it, Billy.
Seriously, I'm glad they caught it.
Yeah, we'll assume it.
Thanks, man.
Thanks for letting me say my piece.
You got it, brother.
Thank you.
Take care, brother.
Keep up the good work.
Andy, what'd you do?
Wrong mouse.
I love it.
This is so funny.
He's got a good point,
but my point is
I don't need to hear it.
I don't need to hear it
every game on the Red Sox.
It's not just on Father's Day.
Doing the sports,
it's just,
I don't need to hear it every day.
There's other ways
of making people aware. I say if you're going to do it's just, I don't need to hear it every day. There's other ways of making people aware.
I say if you're going to do it in the NFL, you're going to make prostate cancer weak.
You have the quarterback has to wear those surgical gloves when he comes up to the line.
You know, the center bends over.
You know what I mean?
The middle finger should be brown.
He pulls back the pass.
Is that too graphic for you, you big girls out there?
Is that too graphic for you, you big girls out there?
Anyhow, when we get back, I want to talk about a couple of rulings by the Supreme Court,
one of them on offensive trademarks, and it involved the ban of the slants.
And that's right, it's as racist as it sounds, but it also applies to the Washington Redskins.
I want to talk about that and get your opinion.
I thought it was a good ruling, and I'll see if you agree or if you don't agree.
I'd also like to get to this girl, Michelle Carter, who talked her boyfriend into committing suicide through texts.
And the ruling came down on that twat, I mean that woman, and we'll talk about her.
All this and more on the Nick DiPaolo Show, 866-969-1969.
Take it easy, back after this.
You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show. And now, back to The Nick DiPaolo Show on SiriusXM.
Faction Talk 103.
Yeah.
How are you, folks?
Welcome back to the show.
866-969-1969.
Currently talking about Michelle Carter, the 20-year-old accused
of persuading her boyfriend to kill himself in 2014. She was convicted Friday of involuntary
manslaughter in a case that, well, it's about, can a person's words cause another person's
suicide? I say no. I say no. say no You say yes
But what a horrible person
Either way
What kind of
I would like to know the history
Of why she would do that
Other than she's psychotic
And needs a real spanking
But
I don't agree with the ruling.
Because like I said, a guy's on a ledge,
he's about to jump, and there's a hundred people going,
jump, jump!
They're all guilty of his death?
Get out of here.
She actually told the kid to get back in the vehicle,
knowing it was filled with carbon monoxide.
I mean, what in Christ's creation?
I really have to find out. I would like to know back in the vehicle, knowing it was filled with carbon monoxide. I mean, what in Christ's creation? I really have to find out.
I would like to know more about the relationship between
the two.
Maybe she thought she was doing an act of love thing.
And again, that's where it gets muddled.
That's why it's controversial, the ruling.
But, uh,
like I said, Massachusetts, one of the
few states where
you can't be convicted of that,
doing what she did.
Let's go to Jessica in Long Island.
Jessica, welcome to the show.
Hey, Nick, how are you?
Good. How are you doing? Thank you.
Good, good. Thank you. Good. So I just read a little more information about what had happened the days leading up to his suicide.
Apparently, she had told her friends already that she was texting him to kill himself because he was just going to do it again the next day.
But she lied that he had been missing for a few days to get sympathy from her friends just to be
like oh he's missing i don't know where he is and it's all my fault that he killed himself while he
was still alive so oh boy i did agree that she should not have been convicted of manslaughter
but now after reading that fuck her yeah yeah but yeah but you see you say yeah but Yeah, but you're getting emotional and saying, fuck her, yeah, because she's a horrible person.
Yeah, but I mean, lying to her friends about him going missing, and this whole thing was a plan.
So what?
So what?
It's still her words.
It can't be, you know what I mean?
Like I said, if I told you to put your head in an oven tonight, I kept going, Jessica, put your head in an oven.
Put your head in the fucking oven.
And you're completely saying, well, put your head, and then you do it?
It's on me?
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, this kid was obviously emotionally disturbed, and she just kept feeding him, you know.
Doesn't matter.
He kept getting fueled with the fire.
I know, but then, Okay, then you can...
I just...
Okay.
I just think she's a bitch.
That's all.
Yeah, there you go.
But who doesn't?
Thank you, Jessica.
But that's the point.
That's the whole case.
We all know she's a bitch.
But that can't be...
That's not the ruling.
That's not how the law works.
Eh, she's kind of a cunt.
Let's kill her.
Let's lock her up.
No! Do you know what I mean? Can't be, that's not the ruling. That's not how the law works. Yeah, she's kind of a cunt. Let's kill her. Let's lock her up. No.
Do you know what I mean?
We all know she's a bitch and reprehensible and a horrible person.
I think we can all agree on that.
And if we can't, you people disagree with that,
I think you ought to be getting in your car and commit suicide.
Get in there right now.
Take a garden hose, hook it to the, or put a potato on the tailpipe
the old potato trick
I tried that
I used a french fry
it didn't
apparently
anyways
the poison leaked out
it was a steak fry
to be honest
it was thick enough
I stuck a steak
what do they
they don't call them steak fry what do they call it Andy would know they call them steak fry is it a steak what do they call they don't call them
steak fry
what do they call it
Andy would know
they call them steak fry
is it a steak fry
I thought there was
another name for it
fucking home cut
whatever
curly
something like that
right
um
yes we all know
she's a bitch
but that's not the
parent
that's not the
parent Edith
the parent is
can you kill
somebody with your
words
no
I say no.
Zach in Indiana, welcome to the show.
Hi, Nick.
How are you doing?
I'm doing pretty good, Zach.
How do you feel about this?
Should she have been convicted or not?
What's your take on this?
Well, there's a couple things that kind of go into it.
And looking at it from a law perspective, with the three tenants that go into a manslaughter case yeah unfortunately the case does fit the bill on each side of it this is going
to be a little bit different than saying like a deadly car crash or something of that nature
individuals the influence of drugs or alcohol right but the big pushing point on this is it
is actually more of a premeditated decision on the case of the defendant one of the things that
was done that was interesting and at least in my opinion decision on the case of the defendant. One of the things that was done that was interesting,
at least in my opinion from watching the case secondhand,
was seeing a lot of the information coming out that they were actually going to
attempt to, instead of have a jury look at it,
actually take it to the judge, hoping that a jury would look at it
and say, she's a bitch, this is absolutely awful what she did, she's guilty,
and taking the opportunity to see a judge and have him look into it.
I'm sorry, it's raining really bad out here.
Okay, that's all right.
I'm going to take off speaker.
All right.
And one of the things that has become more apparent as time has gone on,
as the information is more and more spread out pertaining to the case,
especially in regards to her text messages,
it was something that was continually pressured upon the individual,
and that's what the judge looked to, and that's what was ruling him.
Okay, but in the end, he had to make the decision himself to actually do it.
So we're convicting her on her words, and I guess there's a few states,
Massachusetts being one of them, where you can't be convicted.
Do you know what I'm saying?
If there's a guy on a ledge, like I said earlier, and he's threatening to commit suicide,
a bunch of people are yelling, jump, they should all be convicted?
No, I think there's a little bit of a fine line between that,
where an individual will be on a ledge and people are goading them into it in a way that is a somewhat comical kind of response i
don't really believe there was ever a malice attached to it
and the situation that's going on with her i believe that there was a
a large amount of malice as well as attention to because
the things she did after the crime or excuse me after uh he committed
a suicide that has become more and more apparent to the public
yeah it was really just an opportunity for her to get as much attention as possible
and use this as a way to inevitably get the looks from people she wanted.
Some of the stuff that's been absolutely mind-boggling,
she took the opportunity to set up a memorial baseball game for him
when he didn't even go to the high school.
Okay, I know, and that is all premeditated, and I take all that into account.
But then it comes down to her.
So you're convicted on somebody on their words.
Well, their words can actually still be something that can be liable,
especially in a situation where, you know,
a lot of people like to say the classic shouting fire into a movie theater.
Right.
It really isn't a function of manslaughter, that kind of case,
but using very pointed words in a way that would actually affect somebody
who might be mentally unstable and be held against you.
Okay.
But was it proven he was mentally, well, because he committed suicide, but...
All right, well, again, you're a lawyer, and I'm a comedian doing a radio show,
but I appreciate the... I love the show, Nick. I hope you have a good rest and I'm a comedian doing a radio show, but I appreciate the...
I'm a single lover show, Nick.
I hope you have a good rest of the night.
Thank you, Zach.
I hate when people bring their logic and the law into it.
But no, but it's...
Again, that's his opinion, and I'll get...
There's plenty of lawyers that would argue with him and be on my side.
I only know why.
I...
But do you want... I do understand why it's in Massachusetts.
You know what I mean?
This is a precedent.
Um, I don't know.
It's a tough one.
Let's go to, uh, let's go to, uh, Jeff in Toronto.
Jeff.
Nick. What up, brother? Good to talk to you. Toronto. Jeff. Nick.
What up, brother?
Good to talk to you.
Legal schmeagle stuff.
I want to talk to this girl to see how she did it.
If I could get some people in my life to commit suicide with a couple of thumb clicks, I'm all over it.
Oh, goodness gracious.
You must have some real horrible friends.
Oh, they're great friends.
I just wish they're great friends.
I just wish they'd kill themselves.
Are they Maple Leaf fans?
Habs fans.
Oh, there you go.
Speaking of which, I don't think the Montreal Canadiens should be able to call themselves Canadians.
I'm a Canadian, and I hate the Habs.
Yeah, what should they call themselves?
Exactly, assholes. I'm an idiot and I hate the hats. Yeah, what should they call themselves? Exactly.
Assholes.
Jeff, you might have... But that's just my opinion.
You know what, Jeff?
You have more personality than anybody I ever met from Toronto in my life.
You're probably a transphobe.
Oh, it's a boring-ass place to live, let me tell you.
That's why I listen to XM all day.
Oh, good.
Good for you.
Loving the show, dude.
Thank you, Jeff. Keep doing it. Doing a great job.. Oh, good. Good for you. Loving the show, dude. Thank you, Jeff.
Keep doing a great job.
Thank you, brother.
Talk to you later.
Let's go to Josh in Texas.
He says the girl should not be convicted.
I am in agreement with Josh from Texas.
Josh, your thoughts.
Hey, Nick.
Hey, buddy.
I love you, man.
I love you.
Thank you.
Hey, you need to stick to comedy, man, because this show sucks a dick.
I love your comedy.
Yeah.
And I love you.
I love your radio.
I love when you do radio with Sam and Jim.
Yeah.
This show sucks a dick.
Well, who would know better about sucking dick than John from Texas?
Josh?
You hung up. Josh? He hung up.
Josh!
First of all,
when a guy named...
This show sucks so bad
the phones have been lit up
since we got here.
Before we even opened
the goddamn lines.
You don't want to be named
Josh and live in Texas.
That's just gross.
Hey, Tony in Ronkonkoma
has an opinion about this woman.
Tony, what's going on?
Nick, that was a great burn.
I loved it.
I loved it.
Even though I don't agree with you on this and many other things, let me just say this.
Yeah.
Our government long ago has set a precedent that our words, which are lies, are directly related to millions of people being murdered.
So, yeah, our words do have consequences, don't they?
The Gulf of Tonkin thing, that didn't happen.
The weapons of mass destruction lies, that didn't happen.
Left millions and millions of people dying in both those two conflicts alone.
So, yeah, words matter.
Well, they don't matter in Massachusetts.
They don't matter in Massachusetts, in this case, and a few other states.
Yeah, it's a shame.
It's not a shame.
I don't think we're...
So, you're going to let the government eventually, I mean, determine all this?
I mean, that's a slippery slope.
Well, I think it's wrong that a handful of people
should have determined
let's send off our troops
to die in an unjustifiable war,
a war of choice, not necessity.
Okay, but now,
I don't know what that has to do
with what we're talking about.
That's not law, right?
Millions of people died
because of those two wars
and based on a lie.
What lie was that?
Let's change the law.
Bad intelligence.
If you're talking about Iraq, I don't want to get into that.
Let's stick to what we're talking about here.
So you're saying
if I told you to stick your head in an oven
tonight,
I should be convicted
if you did it?
If there are witnesses to back that up,
there's a good chance, yes.
Who cares about the witnesses?
It's just me and you.
It's just me and you on the phone.
And I'm telling you,
turn off and on and stick your head in it.
Yeah, we live in a society
and we are influenced by the other people in that one.
Yeah, well, you've got to have
some personal responsibility.
Otherwise, I mean, it's a slippery slope.
Then everybody's going to be in charge of everything.
Oh, definitely a slippery slope.
I definitely agree.
Yeah, that's why I don't want to do it.
That's why I disagree, you know?
I'm just talking about in this particular case with this girl,
making the analogy of Iraq and Vietnam.
Right.
Not every case in the history of the country or the world has ever happened.
But these two particular cases, yes, I do think words did matter and do matter.
And it's obviously why this guy, or at least it was a big factor in why this guy committed suicide,
because of what his girlfriend's text told him or provoked him into doing.
Just like we got provoked into fighting an unjustifiable war
with people that did nothing to us.
All right, Tony, thank you for the call.
It has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
What are we talking about here?
That's a whole different argument.
That's not law.
Let's go to Ryan in Ohio on Live 5.
Ryan, your thoughts
hey nick how are you man love the show thank you i gotta say you know i i kind of agree with you
on this some things i do agree with you and others i don't but this one you know we can say that she's
a dumb bitch and that all her words were terrible things man but ultimately she is not responsible
for that kid's death, man.
You know,
she might have,
but you can push somebody
and do that,
but at the end of the day,
you're not responsible,
you know?
Right.
Yeah.
So,
I think that it's,
I think it's awful.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not condoning her behavior
by any means.
Yeah.
She's, you know,
I think we can all agree
that she's an awful person,
but at the end of the day,
yeah,
I don't think
that she could convict her
for murder,
but she didn't do it.
And I'm in agreement
with you on that.
So,
and again,
law professors
who are much brighter than us,
they're both,
you know,
you have both opinions
on this one,
so thank you for the call, Ryan.
Um, comes down to responsible for your own.
Cause like I said, let's say you're emailing somebody and they're like, yeah, I'm thinking about killing myself.
And, you know, even jokingly you're with your buddy, your buddy, like, yeah, go ahead.
You know, then a week later he does, or a year later he does it, and they go back into your emails.
It's given, again, it's given the government too much power.
What's, what's the matter?
Just looking at line one.
Ah.
Maybe laugh.
Ah, the old, uh, the old fucking hockey wars up there.
Um, let's go to, uh, Let's go to Kurt in Iowa.
Kurt, what's going on?
Hey, Nick.
I'm over here on the road doing a little road trip with my son.
And so that made me think about Call of Duty, a video game that's on all the different platforms.
Yeah.
And, you know, when I go on there, I'm premeditated by wanting to go on there and kill people.
Sometimes I go so far as telling people to kill themselves.
Now, they can actually do it on the game, but they can also do it in real life.
Maybe it's a depressed little kid.
Am I responsible for that?
I never played Call of Doty, so I don't know.
But, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm talking about with the slippery slope.
Whenever you give the law or government too much power,
they can't, you know what I mean?
You got to, the less intervention by them determining stuff like this, the better.
No?
Yeah.
I feel like, uh, there's definitely should be no room for, for gray areas in this one.
It should be a little bit more finite and, you's a lot of gray, as we determined by this
discussion. Yeah.
Absolutely. Go ahead.
By the way, I disagree
with the other guy who said about the show not being
good, but I do agree with you saying that he's
the dick sucker in Texas or wherever he's from.
Thanks,
Kurt. You're always
going to hear, it's like what we're talking about, you're always
going to hear two sides. People like the show, don't like the show. Usually it's the dummies who, you're always going to hear, it's like what we're talking about, you're always going to hear two sides. People like the show, don't like the show.
Usually it's the dummies who, you know, they want to hear filth and blowjob talk and, hey,
Beyonce's got a new album on.
We try to talk about real shit, and the real knuckleheads don't like that.
Let's go to Bill in Kentucky.
Billy boy.
Billy.
Hello?
Yeah, welcome to the show, Bill.
What do you got?
Hey, what's up, Nick?
I got a question, though, on this little topic here.
Yeah.
The guy attempted your so-called attempted suicide several times.
So wouldn't he be like in a mental disability state type?
So if you're pushing somebody that has a mental challenge,
I mean, like if you went up to a kid that had a low IQ,
you wouldn't stick his head in the oven.
His brain's going to taste like bacon.
And he does it.
Wouldn't you be a little bit liable for that?
I don't know, but I like to taste that fucking brain.
I'm loving that bacon.
It depends what the law says, Bill.
And the law doesn't say that,
at least in Massachusetts.
Whether the kid's mentally ill or not,
or whatever.
Like I said, I keep going back to it,
but the guy on the ledge
who's suicidal,
first of all, now we're getting into the distinction of suicidal mental illness, just depression.
But, you know, you have to go by the law.
And the law in Massachusetts is you can't convict somebody for doing what she did.
And this judge is like setting a precedent, I guess.
But yeah, of course, ethically, morally, that's wrong.
But in the end, it was his actions.
And she was removed from, you know, physically being there.
So that's the big issue.
But yes, we can all agree, if you talk to a mentally ill person into killing themselves, reprehensible.
But, you know, it gets a little...
Maybe they should be held a little liable for that, you know, for taking advantage of somebody with a weak state of mind.
Well, but then you're going to get into the argument of who has a weak state of mind and who determines that.
And I'm just going by what the
massachusetts law is and um i got you i got you you know it gets it's a good point it's a good
point thank you bill i don't know the exact statute in massachusetts but uh
let's go to Matt in Connecticut.
Matt, what's going on?
Hey, Nick.
How are you, man?
Pretty good.
Good, good.
So, yeah, I'm a liberal.
I love your show.
And I absolutely agree with you on this.
I really think, look, the kid is probably, you know, going to kill himself anyway.
So she may have validated his feelings.
Yeah.
But my guess is, I mean, come on, people tell me to, you know, go kill yourself.
They say that shit every day to me.
Right.
And I don't want to, you know, drive into a frickin' abutment.
But I do have one point.
Yeah. But I do have one point that this does make sense with the sort of screechy left idea of trigger words and microaggressions.
You know, it's like you tell somebody to go fuck themselves and suddenly they have to run to a freaking psychiatrist. And so the impact that kids are growing up with on what words
are, the impact to
them is just as intense
as an action.
Yes. Completely ridiculous.
Yeah, I've been saying that
for the last, I don't know how
many years now. There is no difference
to them between an
action and a word.
The left has been trying to drive that home for a year
and it's finally taking root.
It really is creepy, man.
It is.
And I just want to say that as somebody who does lean left, that shit pisses me off.
Yeah, as it should.
As it should.
Because political correctness is manipulating people's behavior through language.
That's what it is.
And they got it down to an art form, man.
And with such a media-driven society, these kids, you know, they're ingesting it, man.
And, no, I agree.
It scares me that I agree with the ACLU of Massachusetts on this one.
But, you know, so, yeah, no, I agree, Matt.
Thanks, buddy.
Love your show.
Love your show, man.
Thank you, man.
Always good to hear from a lib who gets it.
That's why this show's great, Josh in Texas, you dumb motherfucker.
Oh, fucking bitch.
Hey, Josh. Shut up. Shut, shut, shut, shut, fucking bitch. Hey, Josh.
Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up!
Shut up!
But that's what the ACLU of Massachusetts says.
Exceeds the limits of our criminal laws.
Again, this is Massachusetts specifically.
And violates free speech protections guaranteed by the Massachusetts and U.S. Constitutions.
But the fucking libs are going to go, oh!
They're real far.
No, we want words and actions to be the same.
They'll probably change this now.
The guy's trying to set a precedent.
Then this guy, Martin Haley.
Who's Martin Haley?
Chief Legal Counsel to the Massachusetts Bar Association.
The Massachusetts Bar Association said in a statement that Carter's fate was sealed through the use of her own words.
Massachusetts is one of the minority of states that does not have a law that criminalizes encouraging or assisting in suicide.
I can't get much clearer than that. Can you?
But.
Enough of that already.
But, yeah, Bill Cosby.
He's a.
Oh, no, America's dad.
A hung jury.
He's all fucking cocky, but all I needed was one.
What a dink.
Doing his fat Albert laugh and shit.
Well, you're going to be retried, stupid.
And you jury.
I don't know how you fucked that up.
I have my theories already.
I already gave them out.
Really?
60 women came forward with the same story almost. This is why we can't have j theories already. I already gave them out. Really? 60 women came forward with the same story almost.
This is why we can't have juries anymore.
Because we're so racially divided.
And some people can't be objective.
Okay?
You know what it should be?
It should be three retired judges from now on.
For everything.
What color ones?
I don't know.
Unbelievable. we can't
this shows we're doomed as a species
that you couldn't get this right
and then the jerk off representing Cosby
praising Johnny Cochran after
yeah
Johnny Cochran he says
he's looking down right now
first of all he's looking up
not looking down
you're praising Johnny Cochran who got a murderer off you stupid He said he's looking down right now. First of all, he's looking up. Not looking down.
You're praising Johnny Cochran, who got a murderer off?
You stupid.
Now here I am again, strange bedfellows, defending Gloria Allred.
Ugh.
But give me a break.
You couldn't get that one right.
Guy left a trail of pubes from here to fucking Denver.
I don't know.
That's why the jury, you know, and I said it, I have a bit about, you know,
they asked me when I went, I summons for jury duty, and they asked me if anybody had a problem with the jury system.
I rose my hand.
I go, yeah.
Well, what, what, I go, I don't know, Casey, Anthony, OJ,
a few things stick out in my mind.
I go, your lawyers lawyers there's three of you
you've all went to
Ivy League schools
you have 200 years
of education amongst them
I wonder if you can
confuse a 58 year old
cleaning woman
from the Red Roof Inn
who's sitting on the
you see what I'm saying
leave it in the hands
of a couple judges
ever see the movie
Star Chamber
with Michael Douglas
it's retired judges
they meet and you know it's a movie you guys I think it the movie Star Chamber with Michael Douglas? It's retired judges. They meet.
And it's a movie, you guys.
I think it's called Star Chamber.
There'll be a story in the nose of some pedophile getting off on a technicality.
So these guys used to meet and decide how they're going to whack them.
They were retired judges.
Great movie.
I wish the real world were.
Star Chamber, I believe.
I always liked Michael Douglas.
People tell me I look like an Italian Michael Douglas.
But I have the acting chops
of Bob Denver and Larry Storch.
Anyways, folks,
that's show number one
in the books for this week.
And I'd like to thank all the callers and, of course, the handsome Andy Flowers and Brendan Stipes.
Plural, right?
Stipes.
Yeah.
So that's Monday's show.
We got four more to go.
Live ones, folks.
I'm here all week.
So please come back.
And I don't know what's going on.
I'll get up tomorrow in my underwear,
look at the computer,
decide what we'll talk about.
And I hope you like it.
And if you don't,
kiss my grits, everybody.
Talk to you soon.
Take care of yourself. Oh, yeah!
Woo!