The Nick DiPaolo Show - 212 - NYC Terror Attack
Episode Date: December 12, 2017NYC Terror Attack...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And now, The Nick DiPaolo Show. Hey, how are you?
Monday.
None down, five to go.
Who's enjoying their job?
Is that bad when you start counting?
Eight months into a job?
Seven months?
I fucking love this job, I'll be honest, but I'm just lazy.
You could give me a...
Whatever.
I could be managing Heidi Klum.
And I'd be bored half to three seconds.
Why Heidi Klum, Nick?
I have no fucking idea.
How are you, folks?
Great to be with you.
Happy Hanukkah to you in Kwanzaa,
and Merry Christmas and Ramadan and Flag Day.
I hope you get a nice cheese log in your sock.
He's talking sock.
My dad used to get very bitter.
We didn't have much money growing up, you know,
and he'd get bitter because he couldn't afford the gifts around the holidays,
and I remember he gave me an Etch-A-Sketch as a kid.
I opened it.
It said, fuck you on it.
Now that sounds hateful, but it takes a lot of love to make a you on an Etch-A-Sketch.
So he told me, my brother, if we broke it open and ate the silver stuff, that it was
protein powder.
stuff that it was protein powder.
I'm telling you.
He would buy gifts that were off season.
My parents,
you know,
cause they were cheaper and he gave a slip and slide,
but Christmas it's eight degrees in my underwear in the fucking driveway.
He's hosing me down.
Get on your stomach,
bitch.
Let's see what this thing can do.
Was that the most dangerous game ever?
Fucking slip and slide.
I loved it.
You know it was dangerous because on the picture on the box, remember what it was?
It was a couple waving to their kid as he'd be in medevac to a spinal cord injury hospital.
Got to get a little Timmy a bag with a Mets emblem on it.
Yeah, that game should have come with a wheelchair, a board and a good lawyer's phone number you doing bits yeah i am that's what people think you're supposed to do
anyhow and the other time my cousin eric gave me a fake lottery ticket on christmas eve
doesn't tell me the whole party's in on it.
I'm jumping around all night
thinking I won five grand or 7,500,
whatever the fuck.
All excited.
They were all in on it.
Oh, humiliating that one.
That was like four years ago.
I got them back last year, though.
I stabbed my grandmother to death
in the driveway on Christmas morning.
They weren't laughing then, were they, huh?
What were the winning numbers?
31, 33, 34.
All true stories, folks.
I had a good lawyer.
I got out of that one nice.
So I'm going to spend Christmas Eve with Judge Roy Moore.
Yeah, I won't go into that.
Anyways, thank you, Robert Schloeder and Dennis the Grab Bag.
These guys, yes, every month they contribute to the DiPaolo podcast.
If you want to subscribe, you go to connectpal.com slash Nick.
Connectpal.com slash Nick.
And yeah, $3.99 a month, you get five shows a week.
Monday's free on iTunes and riotcast.com and Stitcher and whatnot.
And it proves very popular and people contribute on top of it
And yes, I do need the fucking money, okay
I have a champagne taste
Right now I'm wearing alligator shoes
Anyways, Palumbo, how you doing, alright?
You look fucking bored already
I don't blame you
I didn't get invited to the Christmas party
By the way, I'm not doing
Hot Comedy Club on New Year's Eve
They sent me a text going
Hey, um
Our building permits haven't cleared yet
They didn't tell me the fucking place wasn't built yet
Jesus So I'm not doing New Year's Eve At Hot Comedy Club in Yonkers permits haven't cleared yet. They didn't tell me the fucking place wasn't built yet. Jesus.
So I'm not doing
New Year's Eve
at Hot Comic
or the Yonkers.
Get out of here.
They promoted
the shit out of it.
Who did?
Hot Comic.
I know.
You'd think the place
would have been built by now.
It's some permit
that didn't clear as shit,
but...
Okay.
Do you fucking believe this?
No, I don't.
That's ridiculous.
Now I have to do a bris
for $2,500 in Brooklyn.
Mazel tov.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
The fire marshal said we couldn't do it yet.
Which is funny because when I first started with these people,
it's exactly what happened when they started the first hot comedy club
at Ridgefield Mall or Ridge Hill Mall, I should say.
Same thing.
They moved on to...
But, you know, you think they let me know
that all that shit wasn't in place?
I don't know.
I don't know anymore about these people.
Buffalo, thank you for coming out.
I'm to blame.
The numbers weren't that good
because I did no local radio.
And again, not my fault.
I told you what happened.
You send a contract with your rider, your rider stuff that you request.
And I request really outrageous shit like don't drop the checks in the middle of my set.
Wait till at least the 40-minute mark.
They crossed it all out in red.
I told you about this last week.
And they crossed like five things out there.
Really, no other clubs ever had a problem with.
They've actually thanked me for some of the suggestions.
And, you know, so they sent that back with all the shit crossed out.
So when they asked me to do local radio, I said, nah, I'm fucking, I'm busy.
And you know what I learned?
You need to do local radio.
And you know what? The people that show up, it's a good comedy. The club is great. It do a local radio. And you know what?
The people that show up,
it's a good comedy.
The club is great.
It's a beautiful club.
And the crowd,
Buffalo, they get it.
They're working class stiffs who get it.
And you know,
but I'm just saying.
This is how I live my life.
I show you the fucking respect
that you show me. That's how I live my life, I show you the fucking respect that you show me,
that's how I live, I still get paid, I wasn't gonna get paid much fucking more,
it's not, they weren't gonna bonus me an extra five grand if I sold out the place,
and this is how I live my life, and people call me an asshole all the time,
most people I call my family,
866-969-1969 I don't know why I gave out the number
I haven't said anything yet
But fuck it
Well, well, well
Here we are in New York City
And you know what happened today
Some Bangladeshi Another fucking piece of scum that
came in on the uh chain migration thing that trump's trying to once again trump's right sorry
to point that out to people who are bleeding heart liberals and think everybody should live here and
nobody should be judged and there should be no borders and whatnot but a bangladeshi man, Bangladeshi, he detonated a pipe bomb underground, New York City's Port Authority bus terminal.
I know exactly where, too.
Because I've walked through there years ago going, this would be a good place to fucking set something.
Because it's just, you know, got to be the most densely populated hallway in the country.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, he got here through chain migration.
He set off a pipe bomb. Luckily, he didn't know what the fuck he was doing. You know saying. Well, he got here through chain migration. He set off a pipe bomb.
Luckily, he didn't know
what the fuck he was doing.
You know,
it was like he was
a DMV worker.
He burnt his balls and ass.
Nobody got hurt.
A few people had
some ear problems.
But his name is
Akayed Ullah.
Just on his name alone,
I'd profile him
and follow him for two years.
That's how I fucking live, folks.
Well, that's racist.
This guy couldn't look
any more like a...
This is actually... Look this picture up. This guy couldn't look any more like a terrorist. This is actually,
look this picture up.
This is an argument
for profiling.
If you ask the guy
to sketch a terrorist,
he looks different
in every picture, though.
Anyways.
Emigrated here
from Bangladesh
seven years ago.
He was admitted to the US
after presenting
a passport displaying an
F-43 family immigrant visa
in 2011.
Ula, who
is a lawful permanent who benefited
from extending family, that's when somebody
migrates over here
and then they can bring siblings over, basically.
You know,
what it does do, it cuts out the American
voter as to how many people we want in
here and who and right it goes around you have no saying if you're your palumbo or me that's what it
does ula was one of uh 141 000 immigrants who have entered the u.s from bangladesh through
chain migration since 2005 or as tony Soprano said, chain migration.
Chain migration occurs when immigrants enter the U.S. through sponsorship from family members
already settled in the country.
Critics have said it theoretically could trigger an endless flow of family members immigrating.
Yeah, you don't say.
Didn't the guy with the truck that ran over eight people back in November,
he came through that visa lottery thing, remember?
Schumer set up.
Sure you do, lefties.
Sure you do.
What was his name?
Sefulo Sapov.
He came through the diversity visa program,
a state program which allows a maximum of 50 000 people
from countries with historically low rates of immigration into the u.s and then white house
press secretary sarah sanders noted on monday president trump's policy there's a call for her
into immigration i fucking love her she's fucking she is balls to the wall she doesn't even look up
you can you can smell the disdain she has for these people in the press corps I fucking love her. She's fucking, she is balls to the wall. She doesn't even look up.
You can,
you can smell the disdain she has for these people in the press corps.
The Trump's policy,
a call for an end to chain migration. If that has been in place,
if that was in place,
that would have prevented this individual from coming to the United States.
And,
uh,
good for him.
He came through on an F 43.
I think,
uh,
Fiori got here on an F-43 I think Fiore got here
on an F-41
by the way
I'll be
at the Comedy Works
Saratoga Springs
January 26
and 27
and February 23
and 24
Governor's
11th Town
Long Island
go to
nickdip.com
for tickets
and all my dates
and the tour
we're putting together a tour
starting in the middle of March.
An actual tour, folks.
I'll go to fucking counties that Trump won.
An actual tour, like my agent should have put together years ago,
but it was too fucking lazy.
Anyhow.
Durka, Dur Durka Muhammad Jihad
Exactly
Hakka Sherpa Sherpa
A bacala
Fucking bacala
He throws in a nice
Dry codfish reference
That was
That was
A Kayad Ula
The 27 year old guy
That tried to
Blow himself up
Let's listen to
De Blasio
I think it's De Blasio
It might be the governor. I forget.
No, it's the police commissioner of New York.
Bratton? No.
Bratton. I think James O'Neill
is his name.
Approximately 720 in a below ground
walkway which connects the
IND line at 42 and 8th Avenue
with the IRT
line at 42 and 7
and that's the shuttle at Times Square and the 1, 2, and 3 train.
Police were called to a reported explosion.
Responding units found an injured 27-year-old male.
We've identified him as Akayedullah, A-K-A-Y-E-D-U-L-L-A-H.
He had burns and wounds to his body.
Also known as Y.E.B? He had burns and wounds to his body.
Preliminary investigation at the scene indicates this male was wearing an improvised low-tech explosive device attached to his body.
He intentionally detonated that device.
Cut it at Radio Shack.
Durka Durka, Muhammad Jihad.
Hakka Sherpa Sherpa. Abakala. Aloha Akbar! Aloha Akbar!
Aloha Akbar!
Aloha Akbar!
Dude.
You know when you see something, you're supposed to say something?
I did that a couple months ago.
I saw something.
I said something.
I said the wrong thing.
I said, Aloha Akbar.
I was tackled immediately by three fat lesbians in the village.
Hey, there's three calls up there.
Nobody wants to talk about what I'm talking about,
so you guys can hang up,
because you don't set the fucking show here.
I do.
866-969-1969.
What the fuck's the matter with you?
We had a terror attack here in New York,
and you guys,
football sucks.
No shit.
Call back, Mo.
Mo from Brooklyn.
It's probably a relation.
I always think.
Durka, Durka.
Muhammad Jihad.
Frank, hang up. Call back back stay on point
don't throw the guy in line
three off he said he renewed his
subscription because of me he can talk
but not yet
but you guys you make fun of Trump racist
all this horse shit why don't you just fucking admit
bing ding bing right again
chain migration well not all the people who use chain migration come out with it most make fun of Trump, racist, all this horse shit. Why don't you just fucking admit? Bing, ding, bing. Right again.
Chain migration.
Well, not all the people who use chain migration come out with it.
Most of them from South and South.
That's not the fucking point.
The point is, the voter,
the American taxpayer,
should decide who comes in here and why.
Not who they know.
How about somebody with,
let people in here to have,
you know,
over a fucking eighth grade education.
Would that be asking too much?
I say we shut it off.
We turn the spigot on back to Europe,
Ireland,
Ireland,
and England.
Yeah.
He said that.
Remember back,
was it back in November,
that attack with the truck?
It was right.
We're already in the halfway through December. Uh, remember Trump? He called that. That was the, it back in November, that attack with the truck? It was, right? We're already halfway through December.
Remember Trump?
He called, that was the diversity visa lottery.
He called it Chuck Schumer beauty.
Referring to Senate Minority Leader, Mr. Trump called for a merit-based system of long people
in the country. I am today studying the process
of terminating the diversity
lottery program.
Diversity lottery sounds nice.
It's not nice. It's not good.
It's not good, folks. Believe me.
It hasn't been good.
We've been against it.
I love how we
the redundancy.
That's what I did when I was a salesman.
You know, you got to think of something to say.
These steaks are delicious.
They're delicious.
They're flavorful.
They're delicious.
You say the same thing nine times with eight different words.
You know.
But he tweeted back then, right after that truck attack,
we must not allow ISIS to return or enter our country after defeating them in
the Middle East and elsewhere.
Enough.
This guy today said he did it for ISIS,
you know,
and they go,
that's a lone wolf attack.
Who get rid of that term?
Lone wolf.
If he was inspired by ISIS,
he's part of fucking ISIS as far as I'm concerned.
What?
He has to show up with 40 other guys?
Come on.
I mean, come on.
And can I just, can I, you know what I
do? I read these stories from certain websites and
shit, right? I just grab them at random. I don't do this purposely,
but obviously when you get anything from the Daily Mail
or anything from England,
it's slanted left
because the place is just a shithole.
Makes us look conservative over here.
There you go.
See if you can pick up on the slant.
Former NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton
said the suspect supposedly was setting the device off in the name of ISIS.
Definitely a terrorist attack.
CNN reports that the bomb detonated prematurely, that if it had gone off as intended, damage could have been catastrophic.
ULA allegedly told investigators at the hospital he carried out the attack because they've been bombing in my country.
Bangladesh is an ally of the United States, by the way, so.
Maybe they have a comedy club over there
they're talking about.
Fuck them.
He also revealed that he made the device
at his job at an electrical company.
At least somebody's working.
But here you go.
See if you can pick up on the bias.
The incident happened just days after
President Trump sparked demonstrations
across the world by recognizing Jerusalem as a capital city.
One of the largest demonstrations took place in Muslim-majority Bangladesh.
Oh, so I guess Trump's fingerprints are all over this, right?
It was the second time in two months New York City was the target of a terrorist attack,
and the first one on U.S. soil since Trump last week sparked Muslim outrage around the world by identifying Jerusalem as the capital of a terrorist attack. And the first one on US soil since Trump last week sparked Muslim outrage around the world
by identifying Jerusalem
as the capital of Israel.
Are they really?
Are those two things connected?
You people ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Fucking Daily Mail online.
England, motherland,
who's fucking gone on the toilet.
He had a low-tech explosive.
He got it at Best Buy.
It was $51,
marked down at $21.99.
Velcro,
he had Velcro and zip ties.
He had fucking zip ties.
You know you're a good terrorist
when you're using the same shit I use
to take out the garbage.
Another five-inch metal pipe bomb was found on his person. a good terrorist when you're using the same shit I use to take out the garbage. Another
five-inch metal pipe bomb was found
on his person.
On his person.
Guy's not a
person. It was found on his animal.
Piece of shit.
Go back to your third-world shithole and take
your family with you, please.
You motherless fuck.
Durka, Durka.
Muhammad Jihad.
Haka Sherpa Sherpa.
A bakala.
Fucking bakala.
866-969-1969.
I haven't taken the subway in years.
And I know, you know,
de Blasio's on there and the governor, you know, we're New Yorkers. We're getting on the subway tomorrow. Haven't taken it subway in years. And I know, you know, De Blasio's on there and the governor.
You know, we're New Yorkers.
We're going on the subway tomorrow.
Haven't taken it in a fucking year.
Again, I drive into the city from the suburbs.
When I lived in the city, I took it everywhere.
But, no, I know.
You're in Astoria.
You have to get here.
But I'm just saying, there's a good chance you're going to come.
A torso is going to show up here to produce the show.
And I'm going to be laughing my balls off.
I'm shocked they haven't done it yet.
It's ever since 2001.
It doesn't seem like the most obvious spot.
Of course.
I am shocked.
I mean, it's happened in Spain and, you know, I worry more about, and again, I live in the
suburbs and I don't take this anymore, but I worry more about Metro North.
Metro North, you is not Metro North.
You can get on there with 11 sticks of dynamite sticking out of your pocket and nobody's checking.
What do you got over your shoulder there?
It's a book bag filled with ricin.
Okay, well, I think there's a seat open near the cafe car.
It's a quiet car.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, the quiet car.
You wonder why everybody's quiet.
There's no.
There is no. And there's really no in
the subway right i mean there's cops around but they don't check you occasionally there's
you know pop-ups where they check your stuff random inspections but i haven't seen one of
those in a year you get on a goddamn subway train here folks in new york city or whatever
there's 11 book bags next to you people are fucking sleeping on them for pillows and manspreading and whatnot but I just
I say and I've said it before
I'm calling for it again
we need a break
a moratorium
on immigration
legal and illegal
nobody comes in for the next 10 years
until all the goons we've let in
assimilate.
And they can say the, uh,
they can say the,
they can sing the Star Spangled Banner
without fucking it up.
That should be the litmus test.
There's professional singers
who grew up in this country that can't do that.
Have fucking Ahmed Alula
cite the Pledge of Allegiance.
That's kind of jingoistic, isn't it?
Yes.
A professor in Birmingham,
I wonder if that's England or Alabama,
wants to tell me how stupid his students are.
Go ahead, professor. You're on the air.
Wow.
Wasn't supposed to come out like that.
I'm going to stay anonymous because my family does come first,
and I don't want to lose my job.
That's fine.
I'm a prior vet for 10 years and went from troops to teaching,
and I couldn't do it at the high school level.
I thought I was going to come in and teach discipline and
stuff and instead they wanted me to teach the exact opposite where failure was perfectly
okay. So I went and got my degrees to where I could teach at a university and we just
had our finals. Listen, we have some country kids that are stupid as fuck. Right.
One of my best students is this middle-aged African-American.
Brilliant.
But the other kids, and mostly African-Americans, they're just lazy.
I wouldn't even say they're dumb.
They're probably not.
But they're so lazy, I don't know what to do.
I don't know the blow the whistle. I mean, these kids
that we see out demonstrating, we're not fixing that. We're producing more of them. I don't
get it. I was a little hellion in high school. I thought I'd be in touch with these kids
doing it, but it's almost scary how out of touch they are with my beliefs and values.
And they just came and did this final, and most of them got under a 50 on a final for a college exam.
And like I said, I don't know if I want to use the word stupid
because I'm not supposed to do that kind of stuff,
but damn, these fucking people are stupid.
Yeah.
I mean, the lazy thing cuts across all races.
Especially, you were in the military.
So, you know, you were used to a regimented life based on discipline.
It has to be a real shock to you when you went to teach at a college. Did you have any idea what you were stepping into and how far it's eroded?
I really didn't like i said
i was a little hellion in high school so i thought i'd be the cool teacher and um these kids don't
even do bad things anymore they're pussies no exactly exactly they uh they they are and it
breaks my heart because i want to help them i've dedicated my life to help them so for all you
haters out there like this guy shouldn't be a professor.
Fuck you.
We need more people like me because when I go talk to my boss about this stuff,
it's like, hey, you can't say that stuff.
You're going to hurt feelings.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
Watch these YouTube videos of what these people are going to turn into.
Why are we enabling this?
Why are we part of this problem?
Why don't we put a foot down?
Why are we afraid of their parents calling us?
We're afraid that if we – I can't fail these kids. I cannot fail my class. Why are we part of this problem? Why don't we put a foot down? Why are we afraid of their parents calling us?
We're afraid that if we, I can't fail these kids.
I cannot fail my class.
Otherwise, I will not have a job or my other teachers. Us teachers talk, and we have to give grades.
Because if we have half our class failing, which actually my whole class failed,
but if we have half our class failing, we're not doing our job, so they let us go.
Right.
You get blamed in the end.
I'm sorry?
I said you get blamed in the end.
Absolutely.
And it's hard to sleep on it because I know in the end I'm producing these kids that I'm out,
that we're talking about, that you're talking about every night.
And I'm part of the problem, and I've never been that in my life.
And it's a real catch-22 well yeah if you're on a college campus look they're indoctrination camps for liberalism and and a guy like you was in the military it's no place for you i'm surprised they
even hired you knowing that you were in the military uh but but it makes you believe it
it's all it's all deliberate isn't it i? Because it's not just going on in your campus.
It's a fucking nation worldwide movement.
I don't know what the end goal is, especially in this country.
When you look at, you know, we were the only superpower left.
And education was one of the things we used to brag about and separated us from these third world shitholes.
But no, people on the left want to go that way.
They keep pointing to other places.
No, people on the left want to go that way.
They keep pointing to other places, or they have this wet dream that it's, you know.
I wish you could tell us what school, but I don't think it's anything unique.
Yeah, well, I'll call again in the future.
But I do want to say it's nice to have someone on SiriusXM that doesn't talk about anal sex and getting fucked by guys like Howard Stern and everyone else on this, uh, on one Oh three.
Yeah.
I quit the anal sex in seventh grade.
All right,
man.
Cheers.
Thank you for your service,
pal.
All right.
Thank you.
All right.
See that?
That's a guy's trying to do the right thing.
He's shoveling shit against the tide.
Unfortunately,
Palumbo,
cause your people,
she's looking,
she's typing on her,
she's doing stuff for me,
but I'm still interrupting her.
Goddamn liberals,
you fucking,
people are gonna wake up.
You gonna blame
the whole thing on me?
Not you, but,
Oh, okay.
People who vote like you.
How's that?
We gotta make the world
go around somehow.
Yeah, and you know what?
This isn't the way to do it.
The way to do it is to, you know,
let's go back to the goma pile days.
Just fall right in line.
Goddamn right.
Oh, it was bad for black people back...
I know, we've fixed that.
I know you don't want to acknowledge it.
Yeah, we have.
I don't know.
Oh, you don't?
No.
When will...
I wouldn't say anything is fixed. That's a little broad. No, because then you don't no when will let me when we say anything is fixed that's
a little broad no because then you wouldn't have anything to hang your hat on you'd have to fucking
make something else up i mean it's as close as it's gonna come what what is the definition of
fixed according to l sharpton me and fucking chains yes yes pal Yes, Palumbo. Yes.
Of course, there's always going to be racism.
You're not going to live in a fucking...
You got to be a little realistic.
We're never going to hold hands and live in a borderless world.
Right.
I am being realistic, which is why I'm saying it's not fixed.
It's not ever going to be completely fixed.
Okay.
Then we agree.
This is as close as...
No, but you fucking...
The way you vote, this is the worst place on earth, your party. The way I vote. I know then we agree. This is as close as... No, but you fucking... The way you vote,
this is the worst place on earth, your party.
I know how you vote.
I looked it up. I did some research on Google. Yeah, you did some research. Some
guy called and said, I don't want to throw Palumbo under
the bus, but she's a liberal.
Close enough. Anyways.
All right, we got a break.
Stay on the line, folks. I should have teased another
story, maybe. I don't know.
But when somebody has a terror attack on my time...
Hold on.
Relax.
Wait, it's a floating break.
Staring at me like we're fucking...
I'm just waiting for the cue.
Yeah, do this.
How about that?
So, enjoy your cake.
Oh. I wanted to talk about those dirty who-is that are accusing Trump of molestation.
They were on with Megyn Kelly today, who I really don't have much use for her anymore either.
Three women previously accused Trump of sexual misconduct.
They banded together Monday to call for a congressional investigation that's why like we said on this show last week when they were all the dems are going we got to get rid of franken he's a we all knew why so they could fucking take
the moral high ground on trump that's what the play was you could see you don't even have to
understand politics to see that coming so now they can and the same thing they were talking
about clinton they were all going we should, we should have done something back in the day about him too.
They're clearing the ground so they can do this to the president, which is, you know, hilarious to me.
So I want to talk about that, because apparently Trump back in the 80s was enjoying his cake.
Gonna tell me a billionaire developer with these young bruh, of course he was, he was trying to get some snatch. They're not giving it away.
But there's no picture of him
grabbing a girl's tits
or hanging out at the mall
in front of one potato tube
trying to finger pop a teenager.
866-969-1969.
Back after this.
You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show
on Faction Talk SiriusXM 103. We'll be right back. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now.
Here I come again now, baby.
Oh, yeah.
Like a dog in heat there.
Very appropriate line for this segment.
Talking about all those dirty birds out there trying to grab ass.
Cup tits and whatnot.
Come on, I took pictures at Buffalo and...
I went like this every time.
My hands are up here, everybody!
You know what the broads say?
Don't give a shit.
Of course, a lot of them were.
5'1", 376.
shit.
Of course, a lot of them were. 5-1-376.
Ah.
Anyways.
Yeah, so you got these 16 women I mean, this is just
fucking, I guess the collusion thing
isn't working, so we'll go with the sexual thing.
You think after having him on tape
during the election saying, yeah, grab pussy, they let you do it, and that didn't work, this is going to work?
Yeah, but we told Al Franken he had to step, he hasn't officially stepped down yet.
He's waiting to see what happens with Roy Mortimer.
I'm telling you.
All I know is you fellas are a little too horny out there.
Do what I do.
You date a girl for a good month, month and a half
before you get any sticky finger.
You treat her like a lad.
What the hell's the matter with you cupping their tits
at a state fair?
Winning them a stuffed animal than demanding a blowjob.
Have a little couth.
State fair.
That's what Al Franken did.
One of his cues, remember?
Did some grab ass taking pictures.
I'm not making this stuff up.
But, you know.
But I did.
The classic definition to me,
as far as the workplace,
is, you know,
sleep with me or you're going to get fired or I'm demoting you.
And that can come both ways.
But there's no guys out there complaining that they're female boss.
I'm sure there are, though. They've bought into it.
We've become so feminized and PC that they've bought into this shit.
Oh, she's making me uncomfortable.
I read it when I when I was doing my there were a lot of stories where a straight guy
would accuse a gay guy
of grab ass
at work or whatnot.
I think they were
just homophobic myself.
You know?
Hmm.
Chris,
let's go to Alberta again.
Chris,
what's going on?
Hey Nick, how's it going? Pretty good., what's going on? Hey, Nick.
How's it going?
Pretty good.
Alberta's a good city for us, I'll tell you.
Yeah, not bad.
So I don't get to hear every minute of every show here, but have you covered the Mariah Carey story yet?
I have not.
I find her very heavy and disgusting.
Apparently her bodyguards felt the same way when she shoved her snaps in their face.
Is that right?
These are the allegations that are going around now that she hired these two guys with this small close-quarter security company.
And I guess on tour, I don't know if this was on a bus or a plane or whatever, but they're traveling together.
And I mean, she's getting liquored up and swinging around all over them, walking around
the place basically naked, going into the bedroom, you know, buzzing off with the pocket
rocket with the door open so they could watch all this shit coming out.
Are they suing her, Chris?
Oh, they are, absolutely.
And on top of this, whenever, whenever you know they brushed her off and
turned her down she'd start calling them white supremacists and everything else yeah but uh yeah
no they're suing her uh they didn't you know she never paid them uh she owes them like a quarter
of a million dollars just in back pay alone plus there's you know the allegations of uh harassment
here for the guards but uh yeah no it's funny you didn't
hear the story this broke like three weeks ago and you didn't hear a story about a minority woman
who was being accused of doing something bad i wonder why yeah exactly it's not a little back
burner yeah and um it's gonna come around to bite them in the ass eventually you know it's gonna
come you know guys can falsely accuse women of shit, too.
It's unbelievable what we've been reduced to in this game.
It just is unbelievable.
Isn't it?
It's just in all facets.
How about, like, you know what's scaring me?
The sports world.
It's kind of quiet right now.
And you know this shit's been going on every day every minute of the day in in the pro sports
world so i'm waiting i'm waiting till that until that the iceberg appears and uh every facet but
yeah i would like to see i want to hear from some male accusers um and i'm sure you know mariah
carey she when she first when tommy matolo was dating her, she was, you know, good looking.
But she never did it.
She never did it for me.
Well, I guess it didn't do it for the guards either, like I said.
But, you know, the biggest piss off is not so much that a woman actually did this.
It's the fact that if you Google her name, you'll get three pages about what dress she wore last night.
Yes.
And this story is buried.
Of course.
You've got to know the times you're living in.
It's been an anti-male thing forever. All right, Chris story is buried. Of course. You've got to know the times you're living in.
It's been an anti-male thing forever.
All right, Chris.
Good call.
Thanks a lot.
I'm going to call Mariah now.
I want to see that giant blouser.
Her weight goes up and down like a fucking...
Curtis in North Carolina has a comment about men getting harassed.
Curtis, how are you?
Welcome to the show.
Yeah, how are you doing?
Have you been a victim of harassment?
I'm sitting up here beside the State University of New York Farm and Dale.
I delivered a load to a restaurant supplier post up here.
I'm a truck driver.
Okay.
I wonder why nobody's keyed the term reverse flesh shaming yet.
That's pretty much
what's happening
to these guys.
Yeah, that's coming.
Yeah.
It's not politically correct
to do to women like that.
You know what I'm saying?
You can't flesh shame
a woman anymore.
Yeah.
And guys,
just don't you agree
with me, Curtis, on that?
My theory is
we're wired differently and if there was some girl, you know, who wasn't totally disgusting, you know, slapping you in the ass every time you get out of your truck, I don't think you'd complain, would you?
Nope.
image of her and uh i have a whole bit on it and one of my albums of course i can't remember i think was another senseless killing about the about the young kid this is what the school
teachers and shit and uh they said the kid will never be the same and i go yeah i'll have to sign
a thousand autographs before lunchtime they're building a statue of him in front of the gym
but uh you know you're right but there are going to be uh eventually because this is how this country
works now there's going to be guys coming out with accusations and and uh i keep hearing about
how many fortune 500 thank you for the call curtis how many fortune 500 company companies
are run by women and shit you always see these statistics so i'm waiting for these male underlings
but you know what women behave themselves, we are the pigs over here.
We are the pigs.
I have Nick the pig as a friend.
Yes.
Shut up.
Shut, shut, shut.
Glenn in Canada doesn't want to give the,
uh, Tom,
because we might follow him up there and find Glenn.
What's happening.
You're talking to Glenn or slim.
Uh,
it says Glenn.
I don't know.
Well,
slim,
the fat trucker,
you know,
five,
10,
three,
80 again.
All right.
It says Glenn,
but a slim,
it is what's happening.
How's your cholesterol?
I heard,
uh,
I heard it went down.
You're down to 1175.
Oh, it's good. Like a good brie right now.
A good brie.
Anyway, I took your advice.
I'm down 10 pounds.
That's shit.
Oh, goodness gracious.
You told me to take a dump, so I'm down 10 pounds.
You dropped them.
No, I called.
This guy shits out the equivalent of a fucking pot roast.
Go ahead.
Oh, yeah.
I could take the four sips in with me every time I go.
But anyway.
Jesus Christ.
Tip your waitress.
Go ahead.
Anyway, I called because my brother used to work for this advertising company back east.
And they had a billboard that should come off the bridge connecting the Twin Cities and Halifax Dartmouth.
And it said, remember when harass was two words what was the joke what was the joke again
remember when harass was two words
it's not a joke it just like that was their advertising thing about harassment
and they got so much shit instead of harassment.
They had harassed, and it was talking about her ass.
It's always better when you explain it, I guess, yeah.
Is that crickets?
Yes.
Well, you know, everybody's got a bomb once, right?
Yes, harassed. That's what you call it for, Glenn? I mean, right? Yes, harassed.
That's what you call for, Glenn?
Holy, I mean, Slim?
Oh, fucking Glenn.
I fucking hate Glenn.
It says Glenn on the screen.
Anyway, you were talking earlier about Hillary Clinton
had to blow some guy to get where she was.
Yeah.
Can you imagine the fucking whisker burns in his pelvic area
from that fucking bearded
bitch?
Oh, more crickets.
Here we go.
Jeez.
Tough crowd.
Hey, Slim.
I got one thing to say to you.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
So, enjoy.
Love the show, buddy. I don't miss it. All right. Never miss it. You know what? We're glad you the show, buddy.
I don't miss it.
All right.
Never miss it.
You know what?
We're glad you love it, man.
We need guys like you,
so hang in there,
and again...
Enjoy your cake.
Enjoy your cake,
and...
Yeah, I tell everybody,
man,
you got to fucking tune into the show.
Like anybody that's got any red blood...
And by everybody, you mean your calves and feet.
I don't know.
I haven't seen them in a while.
All right, Slam.
Thanks for the call, pal.
See you, buddy.
Enjoy.
All right.
That guy, by the way, told us last week he was five, how tall?
Five, eight?
Yeah.
Three something?
Three seventy? One good.
He's going to pull a Ralphie Mae. I'm just making a prediction. I hope I'm wrong.
Hope he doesn't do it. Well, he's doing 75 down the highway
carrying a truck full of sweet potatoes that he probably
dipped into.
I forgot about Ralphie Mae. Potatoes. That he probably dipped into. Um.
Jay wants to know why I didn't call Palumbo out on accepting the money. Well, she was getting paid to do a job, no?
Jay?
Yeah.
Jay.
Hello?
Go ahead, Jay.
Yeah, I, uh, she's doing a job right but you know other actresses need job
harvey weinstein's a little disgusting but he can get me a job so you know i'll do what i gotta do
i guess kind of thing yeah i don't know that one's too deep for me i can't even remember what uh
what palumbo took the money for.
Watch a cat.
Cat sitting in an apartment sitting.
And you took the $300 as you were getting paid for it. I don't see where the harassment's coming in.
I don't understand why that was brought up. No, no, no. Because the caller said that he was a delivery man and people would answer the door in their bra and panties.
Women would answer the door in their bra and panties.
And so it got me thinking of that time that I went to go do a job.
Oh, the guy without the shirt on was the guy you kept sitting for?
Yeah, and he was wearing boxer shorts, no shirt or anything,
and he was cooking boiling hot dogs on a stove.
Well, I find it interesting that you saw the hot dogs and put it all together.
What's that say about you? I think you wanted to have lunch.
When you open the door, you can see the hot dogs on the stove. It was a New York City
apartment. I mean, it wasn't like I was deep into the backwoods of his apartment.
Wait a minute. Was he boiling or grilling the hot dogs? Boiling, which is a whole other
offense, in my opinion. How the fuck can you see the hot dogs from the front
door if they're boiling in a pot.
What do you mean?
The door is open, and boom, there's the stove.
What are they, footlongs?
Are they red?
No.
Sounds fishy.
All right, Jay, you made a good point.
I should have hassled her.
Thank you.
All right.
Well, enjoy your hot dogs.
All right.
No, enjoy.
Enjoy your dogs.
Enjoy your rat lips.
So, I want you to enjoy your rat lips and your rat hair.
I'm just a Jew living on a pension in the twilight of his life.
Michael, I tell you, I'd give it six million to take a piss without it hoiding.
Anyways.
Girls, I'm not trying to make light of any of it.
Put yourself in their place, though place though seriously like a Weinstein guy
or a fucking Al Franken
sticks his tongue down your throat
picture a girl that looks like Al Franken
and sticks her tongue down your fucking throat
let's be honest you'd probably like it
so would I
so
enjoy your coke Let's be honest, you'd probably like it, so would I. So?
Enjoy your Coke.
I don't know.
What the hell?
Let's go to Casey in Erie, Pennsylvania.
Casey, welcome to the show.
There's a long explanation of what you want to talk about, so long I'm too lazy to read it.
Go ahead.
I work in a male-dominated field,
and women are scarce.
And I have one woman that will not leave me alone.
I politely ask her, stop. I'm not going to go boo-hoo, boo-hoo, and all that, but I just, I don't get it. I don't understand what the big deal is, because after how many years,
now all these women are going to come out of the woodwork and say, he touched me.
Really?
Who cares?
That was how many years ago, and now you're going to come out and say something?
Fuck off.
Yeah, it has to be, you know, it has to be, at least for me, if a woman's going to come out with an accusation from 20 years ago or even 15 years ago, it better be rape.
Well, get this, Dick.
My kids, two of my sons just graduated high school, okay?
Yeah.
in ninth grade, the parents have a meeting in the auditorium, the principal, the superintendent of the school, all these so-called school executives or whatever you want to call them,
ding-a-lings.
Yeah.
They tell you, your daughter is to come to school with a skirt down to her knees and
the collar of her shirt will be just under her chin.
Boys, when they come to school, their pants will be up.
Nobody wants to see their filthy underwear.
And the first day of school,
these young ladies walk in
and everything is out on display.
They've got yoga pants on
that are like looking through the windshield
of the tractor-trailer I'm driving right now.
Right.
And you go to the administrator and you say, what is that?
Well, we can't say anything because she's female.
Okay?
If you can't say anything about that,
then how can you say anything to that little boy that just walked by
with his pants down
around his ankle?
How can you say anything
about that?
Well, that's different.
What do you mean
that's different?
You got a double standard
talker.
You can't do that.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I wouldn't want to go
to a school if I was a boy
with a girl wearing skirts
down to her ankle
and a turtleneck.
I'd fucking...
I'm not...
I'm not arguing
that point with you.
I agree with you on that.
I know you're saying it's a double standard,
but I've never heard of a school that said,
what is it, an Amish school making girls dress like that?
No, you'd be surprised, Nick.
You would be surprised.
No kidding.
I can't tell you to go hang out at a high school
because then you'd be like Jimmy Norton.
You don't have to tell me.
I'll be there with the bells on.
Well, you'd have to take a number with Anthony.
Jesus.
Yeah, that's, yeah, I mean.
Yes, there's a double standard, no doubt.
Whether it exists, look, it's the times we're living in.
And it's all done under the spirit of women were kept down,
and there's some truth to that, but
same with minorities and fucking gays.
Now it's their turn. They can do anything
they want. Don't fucking judge them
because the white, straight male has been the
fucking oppressor. We live in this patriarch
ba-ba-ba-fucking ba-ba-ba.
That's the spirit of the times
we're living in, and I enjoy making a living
pushing against it.
Okay, let me ask you this question.
Yes, sir.
If you don't want the business, then don't do the advertising, right?
Exactly.
If you see a prod walking down the street with a mile of cleavage showing.
No, that's not.
You're not allowed to say anything.
Really?
No, you don't have to.
A guy walks down the street with his bag hanging out like Turkish taffy.
Oh, he's going to jail for that one.
Not necessarily.
Not in the neighborhoods around here in New York.
That's why I don't live there.
All right, Casey.
Good night, sir.
Take care.
All right.
I got a feeling that guy might go on a killing spree.
Don't advertise if you want to do business.
That's kind of a creepy uh
that one blew palumbo right out of her chair
she put her head back hot dogs were dancing in her head she
hey palumbo i was even with you on that one that was a little uh fucking uh
a little a little a little retro yeah but... Tell me I can't wear yoga pants
because you can't control yourself.
No, but I can stare at you.
I'm going to fucking stare at your yoga pants.
Yeah, nobody says, you know...
No, you're saying nobody says you can't bullshit.
A lot of bitches are going,
what are you looking at?
Okay, fine.
But you have to control yourself.
You can't just be all Gaga on the street
like a whack job.
No, I know.
That's just good sense.
What's the definition of Gaga?
Lady?
Hello?
All right.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
What a mess we're in, huh, folks?
This is all we're... It really is.
When the guy called in early and says,
don't you believe there's a cabal running? Yes, I do. They got all we're just, it really is. Don't, when the guy called in early and says, don't you believe there's a cabal
running? Yes, I do. They got us
talking like this, fighting about
shit like this.
This week, it's, uh, this couple months
it's gender. We'll go back to race
after the next shooting. And, uh,
how about the Vegas thing?
We forgot about that in about ten minutes, didn't
we? You know, there's a million
questions that haven't been answered in that fucking,
that's just creepy.
Go look into that.
If you want to get distracted by an interesting story,
there's like 20 major questions
that should be answered by now that aren't.
That'll creep you out.
But as far as yoga pants,
I'm wearing those anywhere I want, goddammit.
I don't care what the girls say.
Let's go to Carlo upstate.
He wants to talk about men being harassed.
I'll tell you, it goes on in the watermelon fields.
Go ahead, Carlo.
What's going on, Nico? I just wanted to weigh in.
When I say this, I'll probably
speak for all men.
I'm a doorman. When I started
10 years ago, my
main objective at the beginning of the night is I can't wait
until something breaks out.
I won't fuck someone up.
Right.
Then you start getting hit on by the women.
And that slowly goes away and you start going into work saying, I can't wait until I see
someone hitting on me tonight because I want to know who I'm going to leave with.
You know?
Right.
You don't give a fuck that you're getting hit on.
You don't give a fuck that she's grabbing your fucking ass.
It's fantastic, man.
So if you're going to fucking complain about that being a guy, come on, get fucking serious.
I know.
It's just not like that.
Yeah.
No, that's what I, that you're making my point to me that we're wired differently, but there
are some guys who have bought into this, this PC, this PC thing, uh, you know, you know, it's men's fault.
We let it happen.
I mean, but you're right.
But there are some guys today who, you know,
I've read a few stories online where a guy sued his female boss for whatever.
And I don't know if the guy's a straight or not.
But, yeah, I don't know too many straight guys that would have a problem,
especially in your business, Carlo.
You know, nightclub.
Oh, that girl over there, that slut
who just had 12 martinis
and the miniskirt with the nice legs.
She's ogling my ass.
I want to talk to somebody about it in HR.
It's a different world,
but please, you have to acknowledge
in this, the feminist world,
that we're wired completely differently.
I know you believe
all these obstacles have been socially constructed
and other than that,
we're exactly the same
and that's a bunch of dog doo-doo.
What do we got left here?
Let's go to... Sorry about this.
All these names look way too familiar.
Let's go to Len in Idaho.
See what his blood alcohol is tonight.
Lenny.
Hey, Nick.
What's happening, man?
How are you?
I'm fine, man. I'm sitting here in the parking lot drinking a cold beer. You're drinking a beer? No, you're not, are you? That doesn't sound like you, Lenny.
Was that beer singular? Yes, sir. It's me. It's the same old Len. Now, Lenny, how many would you have
tonight? You got to get up and drive tomorrow morning, right? Not early.
No, I've had maybe seven.
That ain't bad.
That's a nice round number.
Yeah, round number, yeah.
Anyway.
Go ahead.
Good talking to you, man.
Same here, brother.
Hey, whatever happens to a cow and somebody said, you know,
when somebody comes on to him like that, you know, and blah, blah, blah,
and they find an offense, you know, just say it.
Don't ever speak to me in that manner again because if you do,
there will be consequences.
You know, I mean, come on, stick up for yourselves, ladies.
Don't just roll over and play dead because you're worried about your job.
Fuck your job.
If it's that offensive, do something about it.
Well, I'll tell you, Lenny, I think that's going to be the new approach by women.
Thank you for the call, Lenny.
I got a minute left in the show, but be safe out there.
That will be the new approach from here on in, I believe.
This has, you can't argue that point.
It's raised awareness.
And a lot of it's legit.
Guys are pigs and fucking need to be tamed a little bit.
You know?
This had to be aired.
I agree with it.
But there's a lot of these old accusations that are just, there's a lot of guys being destroyed.
Their reputations, their job.
It's getting a little creepy.
It's starting to turn into a witch hunt.
And I'm not the only one that feels that way.
Ask Dr. Ruth.
I had dinner with her last night.
Fun ruckers.
Anyways, that is it, kids.
We will talk to you same time
tomorrow evening.
Take care of yourselves.
This is Nick DiPaolo signing off. Bye-bye.
Hey, hey,
I saved the world
today.
And everybody's
happy now
the bad things
gone away
and everybody's
happy now