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You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. No, goddammit, it's Monday. How are you, folks?
I'm telling you, there's 10 to 11 Mondays in a week and one Tuesday and no Fridays.
to 11 Mondays in a week and one Tuesday and no Fridays.
How's it going? 866-969-1969.
866-969-1969.
Thank you to the people of, let's see,
Rutland, Vermont on Friday night
and then Saturday night, Pittsfield, Mass.
The great Barrington Stage Company.
And fun gigs, And uh Fun gigs man
Fun gigs
I gotta say
It's just nice
It's nice to be out of the clubs a little bit
I'm sure I'll be back soon
Um
But uh
Good crowds
People who
You know
They're working class people
You can tell
As they come in
A lot of trucker hats, work boots
And
Just a fucking blast
And Tommy Nicky's banging it out beautifully
The guy gets us a deli platter everywhere we go
And we hardly touch it
Because we
No bottle of rum
I go, dude, you don't have to do that every
It's two tickets
Then I see that's how they look at stuff, guys who promote and that's how they look at everything yeah the cheese is a half a
ticket so uh but yeah the crowds are great just it just you know just free whaling up there and
having fun and uh it's a it's a real it's such a relief not to be like,
and again,
I love these clubs,
helium and plays like that,
but to have to do
two shows on a Friday night
and you're sitting around
in between
and, you know,
the other two blowjob hacks
around before you
and the night's so fucking long
and the waitress forgets
to come back to the green room
and you go out to the bar
and they're nine deep
and nobody's paying attention to you.
So you throw a full Heineken at a girl's head and they go he was difficult
thank you to a robin a shlue eater dennis paul and my boy jonathan keller who's a heavy hitter
they all have contributed to the nick de palolo podcast. If you'd like to subscribe
to that podcast,
you go to
connectpal.com
slash Nick,
connectpal.com
slash Nick,
$3.99 a month,
five shows a week.
We take the two hours here
and boil it down to an hour
if you don't have serious radio.
And you can contribute
on top of that,
which these guys do
every month.
I appreciate it.
People are still signing up. So uh thank you so much for that and uh who died today r lee ermy the drill
instructor from full metal jacket who said that who the fuck said that who's the slimy little
communist shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here
who just signed his own death warrant?
You know, James Comey.
You got more of him?
Yeah.
Only 74.
I thought when I see a guy like this in the movies,
and he's, you know, a Marine,
and he's in good shape for a guy that age, you know?
But I thought, like, Full Metal Jack,
and I thought he was 74, you know?
Fucking turns out he was 28 in that movie
And uh
But he died at 74
Which is
A little young for a marine
Although he got hit in action
You know
He had
Wounds and stuff
Fucked up his back and arm
And was in a hospital
For four months
I think it was NAMM
Was it not?
Uh
Anyways
Here's some uh More of the the great Arlie Ermey.
How tall are you, Private?
Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
Sir, no, sir!
Bullshit, it looks to me like the best part of you ran down to crack your mama's ass
and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
I think you've been cheated.
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
Sir, Texas, sir!
Holy dog shit!
Texas only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy.
And you don't much look like a steer to me,
so that kind of narrows it down.
Do you suck dicks?
Sir, no, sir!
Are you a Peter Pepper?
Sir, no, sir!
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass
and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around.
I'll be watching you.
Where's the rest of this shit?
I got another one.
Don't be a pussy.
Play the fucking shit that you played for me.
Because I am hard, you will not like me.
But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.
I am hard, but I am fair.
There is no racial bigotry
here. I do not look down
on niggers, kites, wops,
or greasers. Here you are
all equally worthless.
And my orders are to weed out all
non-hackers who do not pack the gear
to serve in my beloved Corps.
Can you maggots understand that?
Sir, yes, sir!
Bullshit, I can't hear you! Sir, yes, sir! Bullshit, I can't hear you!
Sir, yes, sir!
What's your name, scumbag?
Sir, Private Brown, sir!
Bullshit, from now on you're Private Snowball.
Do you like that name?
Sir, yes, sir!
Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball.
They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.
Sir, yes, sir!
No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
That's today's response.
Could you even talk like that today in the military?
No.
Might hurt their feelings.
Yeah, but they're going to step on an IED in ten minutes, so...
866-969-1969.
Anybody watch the interview last night?
I made the mistake of doing it.
What a fucking, why is George Stephanopoulos?
You know, Sean Hannity, did you hear the whole breaking news today?
He's Cohen's third client or whatever.
It's just a big distraction.
There's fucking nothing there.
But they're on there. I watching cnn msnbc but he's a pundit on you know on fox news and he's very pro trump and
bubba they don't bring up fucking donna brazil on cnn during the election having the questions
for fucking hillary before the debate that doesn't even come up it's like watching children these
fucking people are bad at their own job they don don't even, they're so fucking ignorant.
It's just, and what a, Stephanopoulos, what a, just pitching him softballs.
So you think Trump is mentally unfit.
It was all the talking points you've heard for the last fucking year.
Comey didn't even need to be in the room.
It was such a dog shit fucking partisan hack.
And it's so fucking clear to me how much comey hates trump
he's just a fucking just an ego driven he even admits he has ego problems
whatever but uh oh it was just horrendous and i don't know how he can be commenting on this shit
it's an ongoing investigation somebody call me who's a fucking lawyer
and explain to me how
the Steele dossier,
you know, he thinks,
he said they still might,
Russians might have shit on Trump.
Can you say that
during an investigation?
And he's totally political.
You're supposed to be apolitical
when you're in the FBI.
Just totally.
Covered fucking Hillary's ass more than one time. political you're supposed to be apolitical when you're in the fbi just totally covered
fucking hillary's ass more than one time didn't even come up about uh the the steel dossier and
and that's what you based on getting the pfizer warrants on that didn't even come up
it was so fucking and i like what Chris Wallace said for Fox News.
He goes, he read the book.
He goes, I was surprised how bitchy he was.
Like he's talking about Trump's hair and his hands and his fucking, kind of petty, you know?
I mean, he was just so political.
He admitted to being so political.
That's what's fucking, what struck me.
But Stephanopoulos, how the fuck can he be so influential?
You know, press secretary for whatever he did for Clinton.
Chief of staff, wasn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just, uh, was all the left-wing talking points.
Uh, yeah, he asked him, uh, the only, here's the only, like, real question he asked him. was all the left-wing talking points.
Yeah, he asked him,
here's the only real question he asked him.
He said,
well, Comey repeatedly failed to tell Trump the dossier was produced by, you know,
Fusion GPS, political opposition research,
funded by the DNC, Clinton's campaign.
Comey first briefed Trump about the dossier claims
at a pre-inauguration intelligence briefing at Trump Tower. Stephanopoulos asked, call me whether he informed
Trump about the dossier's political origins or whether Trump had a right to know.
Did you tell him that the Steele dossier had been financed by his political
opponents? Call me. No, I didn't. I didn't think I used the term Steele dossier. I just
talked about additional material. Did he, but did he have a right to know that?
That it be financed
by his political opponents?
I don't know the answer to that.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do.
Yo, fuck it.
I was trying to stop,
but I wouldn't stop.
I don't know the answer to that.
It wasn't necessarily for my goal,
which was to alert him that we had this information.
Again, I was clear on whether it's true or not.
It's important that you know,
both because of the counterintelligence reason
and so you know that this may be going to hit the media.
And then Stepanov said,
and at the time, did you know it had been financed at the beginning from
president trump's by president trump's political opponents call me yes i i was told at some point
that it was the effort had originally been in finance by a republican source to develop material
the effort was taken up funded by a democrat aligned group trying to get opposition research
on trump i never knew which who the groups were, but I knew it started with Republicans paying for it
and then Democrats were paying for it. Right there
you can tell he's being political and slimy
and right? He ain't a
slippery fuck.
Then he had dinner with Trump.
At the dinner, Comey pushed back against
Trump's suggestion of probing the claim inside
the dossier that he had Russian prostitutes
perform a golden shower romp
in the presidential suite at the Ritz-Carlton
Hotel in Moscow.
This while Comey was aware, but still kept it to himself
that the document was funded by Trump's main
political party. I mean,
I think he didn't did himself
a disservice with this book.
Because this is an ongoing fucking
investigation, right?
Can he be called as a witness? I don't know.
Get Dershowitz on the phone.
Alan?
Nick DiPaolo?
The fuck's going on here?
But that's what I'm saying.
I see guys like Dershowitz, who's no right winger.
He can't believe what's going on.
Them breaking into Cohen's office and shit.
And Sean Hannity's the third.
That made me fucking belly laugh.
Hannity's the third.
Which means absolutely fucking nothing.
Means nothing. Yeah, but he's a pundit on Fox News, which is a lot pro-Trump.
Yes, and Stephanopoulos is on ABC
this week on Sunday mornings and every other talk show
and a fucking left-winger as lefty as they come.
He fucking,
and he admitted
he thought Hillary
was going to win.
That's why he reinvestigated,
opened the investigation
about her emails.
Because it was a foregone conclusion
that she was going to win.
This guy's as political
as anybody.
What the fuck?
Of course,
he grew up in Jersey.
That's why his political leanings are
Bluer than my balls
This fucking tri-state area needs a douching
Politically
You all lost your fucking minds
You should come down where I live
Alabama
Where Brendan's from Kentucky
The GOP
oh then you got the
remember he took notes
after he had dinner
went home and wrote notes
those memos
we have a right to see that shit
apparently
from everybody on TV
they were supposed to come up
with that today
some GOP committee
Devin Nunez
whatever
demanded that shit
I don't know why I'm getting
this fucking political
what else we gonna talk about
Amy Schumer's fucking movie?
Who cares?
You know?
Nothing else out there.
I'll get to the black guys at Starbucks
in a few seconds.
That's what I meant to open with.
I had more opinions.
I saw a clip of that star.
I saw the news.
You know, NBC News did a story on it
You know like a three minute hit piece
It was so partisan
It was so stupid
I was half asleep it woke me up
It was so
I must have dreamed this I can't believe what I was just hearing
And
It was the worst
I'll get to why it was the worst
NBC's fucking evil.
They really are evil.
Especially with the race shit.
I love how these conversations take place in a vacuum.
And all the fucking stupid people on social media just,
it doesn't happen to white people.
I'll get into why in a second if you can't figure it out on your own
I'm not even saying these guys did anything
wrong but I'm just saying let's pretend
let's not pretend we don't know
why this was an issue in the
first place that's all I'm saying
and if they were wrongly done
don't get mad at the cops they were
doing their job
get mad at Starbucks
nothing would make me happier
than see them go down.
You know what I do sometimes?
I order a fucking,
I order a large coffee
at Dunkin' Donuts
and then I walk into Starbucks
and I throw it at people.
I go,
that's what it's supposed to taste like,
you big dinks.
866-969-1969.
866-969-1969. 866-969-1969.
It was a fucking horrible interview.
He called me, didn't even have to be there.
I'd heard all these questions for a year.
You think he's morally unfit?
Yes, I... And Melania said, you know, Trump said,
if there's even a 1% chance that my wife thinks this is true
about the prostitutes and stuff, you know,
that's horrible. And then Comey gets on
his moral high horse. Well, I'm a
flawed person, but what kind of marriage is that if your
wife, you know, only 99%
believes that that might not have happened?
Fucking dink.
This is how he should have answered
everything. I don't know nothing about that.
What do you know about
the law? I don't know nothing about that.
But how about when you talk to the
FISA courts about the...
But it was all lies.
Yeah, it was all lies. Yeah, fucking.
Yeah, it was a fucking, Stephanopoulos just made me angry.
He did, he just threw in that, like, out of the whole hour, there were like two questions that might have been, you know, pro-Trump, defending Trump a little bit.
But it was just fucking, watching a, you know, watching like a dad throw softballs
to his retarded kid.
Whoops, can't say that.
Where'd the first guy go?
He had a good question
about why isn't Hillary in jail.
We all know why.
There's not a jail big enough
or fucking shackles wide enough
to put around her Clydesdale feet.
Isn't that the answer?
That vile twat's own.
This week, the Nick is Right talk continues.
Friday, April 20th,
at the Cortland Repertory Theater,
Cortland, New York.
Saturday, April 21st,
the Steel Stacks in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
The following week,
there'll be next weekend,
April 27th on Friday
at the Majestic Theater, Pottsville, PA.
And then Saturday, April 28th, at the Kirby Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
For tickets and info, go to
nickdip.com
and, uh, might as well finish that.
Uh,
and then, uh, May 4th, oh my
God. Huh?
No, I just plugged the, and then May 4th
Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine, and May 5th
is the final day at Schubert Theatre, New Haven, Connecticut. When is that time? Oh, I just plugged her. And then May 4th, Jonathan's in a gunk with Maine. And May 5th is the final day at Schubert Theater in New Haven, Connecticut.
Where is that time?
Oh, I want to know.
You know.
But yeah, Comey didn't come across as like this really smart guy.
And you can see, I mean, he's just fucking furious that he wanted.
He just fucking despises Trump.
Ron in Massachusetts on line two. Ronnie, how are you how's your onion you're back i'm fine how you doing i'm hanging in
it yeah i just wanted to let you know uh the other night when i found out that harley ermy died i was
tweeting out pictures of him as uh sergeant hartman you know pointing his finger and screaming
right at you yeah i actually sent one to you to tell your father I said Semper Fi from heaven.
And I was saying some other stuff that got deemed abusive language by Twitter
and actually suspended me for 12 hours.
Wait a minute.
What did you send?
You didn't send, did you send clips of Armynie, or was it the stuff that you sent?
No, it was a still picture, and I would put something on top, like the last one I just sent to Adam Carolla,
that just said, USJWs better shut the fuck up. I had to leave the planet to get away from you fucks.
And that was the last one I sent, and they actually put up this screen that told me I was suspended for abusive behavior.
Wow, huh?
What a surprise.
Dorsey, Jack Dorsey, who came out, remember?
Remember last week we covered that?
He endorsed that article.
These people that wrote, said, you know, Republicans and Conservatism has to be wiped out.
Wiped out of the, you know, Republicans and conservatism has to be wiped out, wiped
out of the, you know, I'm paraphrasing the political conversation completely.
We have to be, California is the way to go.
So who would have guessed that Twitter, they, what a fun, and that's the only fun thing
that was about Twitter.
You could go nuts on there and go fucking crazy, but not anymore.
Well, wear it as a badge of honor, Ron.
Yeah, I did.
And I'm back on.
I'm not sure if it even did anything.
They just claimed I was suspended, but I was still using it.
Yeah, I got booted for like 12 hours, too, and I wished Barbara Streisand would die in her sleep.
Yeah, and I think they specifically said it was 11 hours and 59 seconds.
I was in the penalty box, supposedly.
All right, Ronnie.
Thanks for sending that.
All right.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. alright Ronnie thanks for sending that alright bye bye
bye
866-969-1969
866-969-1969
uh
anyways
nobody gives a fuck about the Comey interview
y'all know he's a blowjob hack
I don't know what to tell ya
it's not even about him
it's about Stephanopoulos
and the networks
who are so far in the fucking can for this
Just to destroy this guy
Is just unbelievable
What I'm watching here
They hate him
And I guess today
Michael Cohen's lawyers
Tried to file a restraining order
So you know
They could see the shit first
That was confiscated from
cohen's room but the judges said no not female judge i think it was female kimba wood was that
a wrestler remember kimba what was his name he's dead too who was it uh brennan kimbo slice
can't hear you dude kimbo slice kimbo slice he's dead right yeah that guy was not made for this
earth but what's the judge yeah oh judge kim is that her so you know she's abroad and she's a
judge gee i wonder she went to an ivy league school and if she did do you really have to
know any more about how she fucking is politically? How she votes?
What are you saying, Nick?
She can't be impartial?
Exactly what I'm saying.
AKA the love judge?
What?
Ugh, fuck this.
Nobody else wants to talk about it, neither do I.
Well, this better catch on or I'm going home after the first hour.
either way well this better catch on i'm going home after the first hour um calls grow to boycott starbucks after two black men arrested for not making order
i couldn't believe i should have have pulled the clip, the NBC clip. They had the female, they had the lawyer on representing these two guys.
866-969-1969.
You know the story.
Police were filmed arresting two black men waiting for a friend in a branch in Philly.
Under the hashtag boycott Starbucks hashtag.
People accused the chain's employees of racially profiling the men and
criticize police for arresting them when they refuse to leave um what color were the employees
can i just ask that question at a starbucks in philly do you really think it was all white
barista team behind there seriously i guess that's not relevant to the conversation.
But the NBC clip just infuriated me to no end.
Number one, why?
All I heard was from that side,
the two black guys,
and again, I'm not saying whether they, you know,
if they were asked to leave,
they were supposedly waiting for a friend,
they didn't buy anything,
and you're asked to fucking leave. That's a policy policy and it said they were arrested for waiting at starbucks no
it's called loitering it's called fucking loitering and their their lawyer comes on some
chick again another fucking broad with a fucking law degree in her late 20s who buys into this shit
she goes here's a phone call
you've never heard from Starbucks.
Yeah, there's two white women
who refuse to buy anything
and they won't leave,
so we're calling the police.
There's a story.
There's a phone call you never...
Yeah, here's another phone call
you never heard.
Two white women just stole
a bag of French roast.
Two white women just came in on PCP
and beat up a transgender.
These are all clips I've seen not happen at Starbucks, but I'm just saying, let's not
have this conversation in a vacuum.
And again, if what they're saying really happened to these guys, I hope Starbucks gets fucked
over.
I'm just saying, but don't be children when we're having a conversation about race.
Don't act like there's no history of shit going down,
whether it's a Starbucks
or a fucking Arby's or a...
You don't think that's important?
It's like not bringing up a rapist
and you can't bring up his past
when he's on trial.
I'm just saying,
if we're talking about race as a whole,
but again, if it's a policy
and the store says you gotta go
because you're not buying anything
you gotta go
especially when the cops get there
but all you fucking white sheep
on social media
this never happens to white
here's a chart to show you how
some guy puts up a chart with different
skin color you know
don't act like but but, oh, that fucking lawyer.
And the only argument I heard from the other side, the Starbucks CEO said, well, this is horrible, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Which it might be.
But I never heard from the actual employees.
How you call that reporting is fucking unbelievable.
I don't want to hear. Of course the CEO of Starbucks is going to cover his ass,
but I want to hear from the employees who asked him that they, you know,
told him they had to buy something or leave.
But that's not germane to the story.
That's NBC.
They are fucking evil, man.
They are cowards or they want a race war.
I don't know.
They're cowards or they want a race war.
I don't know.
We heard nothing about when they were asked to leave what, you know, how they responded to the barista, whoever the manager or whatever.
And the black cop, the cop, the police commissioner or whatever is actually defending.
Don't get mad at the cops.
They were called by a business and said these people are violating our policies
won't leave the premises.
So don't get mad at the cops.
Get mad at fucking Starbucks
or whatever.
I'd love to see them. Boy, I fucking
hate Starbucks.
First time I ever went into it was in Seattle. I run
the coffee capital of the world.
And I got the fucking cuntiest attitude.
I just wanted an iced coffee.
And this fucking, this girl could have been more fucking,
because I didn't know how to order it.
Oh, she could have been more of a twat.
I took a sip and I put it back down.
I go, that's horrible.
What do you got here, Fiore?
Just trying to get some more information on who.
Yeah, you'll never know. Because they'll never, he quit, by the way.
The kid quit his job today, or whatever.
Yeah, this says the store manager who called police is no longer at that store, so.
Yeah.
866-969-1969.
But don't act like, and I heard another woman say, uh, this happens all the time.
No, it doesn't. time. No it doesn't.
No it fucking doesn't.
If people
behave in whatever color they're not asked
to fucking leave.
This happens all the time to black men.
If you want to have a
discussion about race let's fucking have it.
Let's not have it in a vacuum.
I couldn't believe what I saw on NBC.
It woke me.
My wife had a fucking con.
We always got in a fight because I was screaming for the rest of the fucking night.
It made me.
I've never seen more biased horse shit journal.
How can you do a story and not have two sides to the fucking story?
All we heard from was the fucking, the guy's lawyers.
That woman.
And a, you know, CEO of Starbucks
had a statement, naturally.
But let's not pretend we don't know
why there's an issue here.
And if you want to make it into a full-blown
viral thing about race and accuse this country
of being racist, I want to know,
since you made it into race,
I want to know the employee's color. I want to know the manager's color. I want to know, since you made it into the race, I want to know the employee's color.
I want to know the manager's color. I want to know
all the cops involved, their color.
I want to know, if you want to have an honest
discussion, which is all we've been hearing.
But these dumb broads on Twitter,
too little, too latte.
Get it? Oh! Broads holding a sign,
too little, too latte.
She should be arrested.
Was it a suburb of Philly?
Plenty of libs down there.
I'll try and find out.
So, all right.
When we come back, let's talk about this.
But NBC News, Google it, please.
It was like Lester Holt.
I don't know. Sunday night, I was half asleep. But NBC News, Google it, please. It was like Lester Holt. I don't know.
Sunday night, I was half asleep.
But it was such bad journalism, it woke me up from my slumber.
Absolutely.
And yeah, the protest grows.
Of course it does, because the lie has become the truth.
Starting with fucking hands up, don't shoot.
Black lives matter.
And there's enough dumb white people
to believe this shit.
They really believe it's 1955.
And again, I'm not saying these guys are guilty of anything.
And if they're not, if they're asked to leave
wrongly or whatever,
Starbucks will fucking pay.
That goes without saying.
But the journalism,
the fucking yellow journalism,
chicken shit, NBC, just ridiculous.
866-969.
I've been made to buy.
You want to go to a gas station?
You want to use the bathroom?
Totally.
Fucking hell.
I know this is different.
They were waiting for a friend to show up.
I want to hear the whole conversation.
Don't fucking give me one eighth of the story.
I want to hear how they responded when they were asked that they had to fucking leave.
And I'm sure they thought, oh, this only happens.
This only applies to black people.
We have to buy something.
We can't use the bathroom.
But that lawyer sent me through the roof. They're like, here's a phone call.
You'll never hear to white. Let me just here's a phone call you'll never hear. Two white women just...
Yeah, exactly.
You'll never hear that
because they're mostly well-behaved
and I'm not saying these guys aren't,
but I'm saying there's enough video.
Like I said,
you've seen it online
and I've seen it where race is involved.
866-969-1969.
I'll be back and take your calls right after this.
You're listening to the Nick DiPaolo Show
on Faction Talk
Sirius XM 103.
Come on, folks. It's a fucking...
It's a...
But it's all lies.
Anti-Trump American history textbook, blatantly biased.
A student at Rosemount High School in Minnesota who saw a copy of the book sent to her school told Fox News she was appalled after seeing how blatantly biased the newest edition of by the people a history of the united states was toward trump and his voters she said it also
glossed over all issues uh then democratic presidential candidate clinton faced during
her campaign the textbook published by british own pearson education anything that comes out
of britain is just left-wing garbage. Fucking burn it.
By the way, London,
stabbings are up
since the Muslim took over.
Somebody seems really emboldened out there.
People are getting stabbed, acid thrown in their
face. Yay for diversity!
Yay!
Yay!
The textbook was authored by New York University
professor James Frazier that's who you want
writing textbooks a fucking NYU
professor right because it'll be right down the middle
currently being pitched to public
high schools in an effort to get them to buy the latest
edition of what propaganda
Alex Clark co-host of the Joe and Alex show
on WNOW Indianapolis, tweeted the book was the latest
example of an effort going on in public schools to
indoctrinate kids with their anti-conservative agenda.
The final section of the book, titled The Angry Election of 2016,
that's what it's titled,
is highly critical of Trump.
Most thought that Trump was too extreme. This is a quote from the textbook. Most thought that Trump was too extreme.
This is a quote from the textbook.
Most thought that Trump was too extreme
a candidate to win the nomination,
but his extremism,
his anti-establishment rhetoric,
and some said his not very hidden racism
connected with a significant number
of primary voters.
Trump voters are described in the book
as mostly older, often rural or suburban and overwhelmingly white.
While the book uses the viewpoint of Clinton voters to describe Trump supporters as fearful, backwards, sexist people who supported a mentally ill candidate.
This isn't a textbook, folks.
This isn't an article in the fucking New York Times.
Or, you know.
article in the fucking new york times or you know clinton's again this is another script from the book clinton's supporters feared that the election
had been determined by people who were afraid of a rapidly developing ethnic diversity of the
country discomfort with their candidates gender and nostalgia for an earlier time in the nation's
history they also worried about the mental health.
Stability of the president.
And the anger he and his supporters brought to the nation.
This is what they're teaching your fucking kids.
Or will be.
So either don't have kids.
Or let's start the civil war now please.
Can we?
Can we please? I got a nice shotgun.
I keep under my. my canoe in the garage.
Oh, there's a section in the textbook, 866-969-1969, by the way.
There's a section titled Black Lives Matter.
Frazier wrote that after the shooting of Michael Brown, he says Brown's parents were kept away at gunpoint.
He paints a negative view of police while glossing over violent tactics carried out by some of the writers
here's a quote from the textbook that your kids will be reading the nearly all-white police force
was seen as an occupying army in the most mostly african-american town the police increased the
tensions defacing memorials set up for brown and using rubber bullets on demonstrators
no mention that the whole thing was a hoax
and his hands weren't up and that Black Lives Matter
was founded on a myth. That's not in the textbook.
You fucking...
Mama Luke.
Shut up!
Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Oh, that dirty cogsucker.
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.
Oh!
My sisters did backup on that in the 70s.
In the Starbucks, the racist Starbucks.
Black people are arrested for no reason.
Absolute horse hoggy.
Now, Garrett, the gay truck driver from Alberta.
How are you, Garrett?
What are you sitting on?
Garrett, how are you?
Ha, I see what you did there. yeah um i just did two things real quick i'm gonna try and get
through as fast as i can yeah i got just one go ahead it's my show you get one go ahead pick it
fine then be like that um so i was in a i was in a restaurant and uh yes i feel like there's a lot
of divide that goes on with this shit um there was
probably i don't know like five or twelve black dudes that walked in they were all clearly drunk
and they're really really really loud and you could feel the tension from everybody else in
the restaurant of wanting to be like could you guys could you guys shut the fuck up but nobody
wants to talk to nobody wants to say it to the guys in the restaurant because they're that we're
all just like is it racist if we tell them to be quiet?
But I mean, if it was a bunch of white guys, would we say it anyway?
I don't know if I want to, do I want to get involved with this?
You just kind of don't say anything.
All right, I'm just going to say it and see if you cut me off.
I was at a gas station recently, and it it made me laugh because there was these two Punjabi
guys talking to one another at the gas station.
They're two taxi drivers.
One guy said to the other one,
I've seen you out there. You don't know how to drive.
And the other guy goes, God, fuck you. You don't know.
You can't drive either. You're a
bad driver. And I'm thinking, man,
Canada's neat.
Because that's the conversation
that white people have.
Like, it's kind of cool that they're kind of coming into the culture, you know what I mean?
They're just fucking with each other the same as we do.
Well, what's funny is...
I don't know whether they do the same thing over there or not, but I thought that was cool.
Well, what's funny is that you two Punjabi cab drivers sound like they're from Dublin, Ireland.
Yeah, I can't do accents terribly well, but you see where I'm going.
I do get it.
I prefaced it with Punjabi.
Yes, Punjabi.
All right, Garrett, good call.
No problem, man.
Take care, Bill.
Garrett, the gay truck driver, he must get a lot of cock at those stops, huh?
Oh, boy.
Come on.
No?
Sure there's a homeless guy hanging there.
Hey, this week the Nick is Right talk continues on Friday.
This Friday we'll be at the Cortland Repertory Theater,
Cortland, New York.
And then Saturday night, April 21st,
the Steel Stacks from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania,
which I've played at a couple times.
I love that place.
It's a big, scary steel mill
that like closed in the 50s or whatever behind you.
Big, rusty thing.
It goes on for like fucking two miles.
It looks like a dinosaur behind you.
It's fucking awesome.
Then, not this week, but the following week,
on April 27th, we'll be at the Majestic Theater
in Pottsville, PA.
And Saturday, April 28th, the Kirby Center,
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
Might as well do the rest of them,
since it's short now
Then May 5th
4th
Jonathan's at Gunquit, Maine
May 5th
The Schubert Theater
And go to nickdip.com
For all the ticket information
And
My store is open
Buy
You want my DVDs
CDs
Podcast hats T-shirts The nice stuff too A hat that Garrett from Alberta My store is open. Buy, uh, if you want my DVDs, CDs, uh, podcasts,
hats,
t-shirts,
the nice stuff, too.
A hat that Garrett from Alberta,
the gay trucker,
would enjoy.
I mean,
he really would.
That's nice
that, uh,
they're putting
that type of shit out.
Matt in Utah
is gonna try to put a spin on it.
No, I'm kidding, Matt.
Go ahead.
No, it's good.
What's up, buddy?
Yeah, man.
So,
in my job,
I have to look at the
power poles
and back people's yards and stuff.
So we go house to house
and it looks really sketchy.
I worked with a black kid
that was always worried
about talking to the cops
because of all this
racial bullshit
that gets blown out of proportion right but it so he talked to cops two times a week for a year
and never had a problem and i was like yeah keep being respectful and you won't have any problems
and then on the other hand you've got me i've been i'm a gambler so i go to casinos a lot and
i've had a couple times when cops come to me and say, hey, we need to speak with you outside.
Right.
And I said, okay, every time, and I'm respectful, and nothing happens, you know, and I'm a white 28-year-old man.
Right.
And one time I was feeling a little ballsy and looked at the cops and said, fuck you, and realized really quick, it doesn't matter the color of your skin, you'll get tuned up.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Could we
please, could you go on national TV, Matt, please
once a night on NBC Nightly News and tell that story?
Yeah, I've got a couple of them, because trust me, I'm a dumbass
and don't learn very quick. And about three times
I have said fuck you to a cop quick and about three times i have said fuck you to a cop and all three times
100 i ended up in jail yeah well and then and then 60 70 other times you know i've been pulled
over or talked to cops at work or whatever when i'm respectful never have a problem yeah that's
pretty much yeah less of a color thing and more of the way you fucking treat people.
I mean, I know that there's some that are, you know, instances where shit goes awry.
Right.
But for the most part, man, be respectful.
Yes sir, no sir.
And when they ask you to do something, whether you like it or not, guess what?
They have the authority to beat your ass.
So you might want to do it.
Yeah.
Well, you know, but these kids brought up, they watch the media, at least in this country,
and you watch NBC Nightly News or CNN, MSNBC, you think it was 1955, the way they report
on cops and how they treat you.
And it's a total fucking myth.
99% of the cops are good.
And like I said, they literally have two to three million they they have tens of
millions of contacts a year with civilians doing their job and you know as far as shooting unarmed
black it's literally it's it's infinitesimal that number but but but they cherry pick the stories
the mainstream media cherry pick the stories and they put this narrative together and they've been
doing it since i was in my 20s. I remember watching CNN go to my
buddy, what do they want, a race war on this country?
They've been doing this forever, and it's coming to
fruition. You get a whole generation of
nitwits out there who take whatever
they see on TV as gospel or online,
and it's finally
the lie has become the truth, in my opinion.
Oh yeah, my
opinion, I'm 27,
28, so
I grew up in the younger generation the first part the first
thing you have to do in fixing a problem is recognizing that there is one in the younger
generation just leave no problem with the fucking ridiculous way they act yeah well not even the
younger generation the media in this country will fucking won't acknowledge it they i just
explained how the nbc reported this thing at starbucks it's based in cowardice they are the it's unbelievable
they won't go near it it's what fucking white cowards that run the media thanks for the call
matt appreciate it hey all righty then what what what did i do Alrighty then. What? What?
What did I do?
Eh, I just feel like hitting one of these buttons.
Problem?
You're the fucking problem?
You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag
onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H.
You keep looking at me, I'm gonna put you
in the fucking ground, I promise you.
Not this time.
Ah. You keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. Anybody care about the kids?
I'm just going to come on here tomorrow and I'll be funny.
Not bring any stories.
I'm just going to sling shit.
You watch it.
Let's go to William in Texas.
Hey, what's up, William?
Hey, Nick.
How are you doing this evening?
Pretty good, thanks.
How are you?
Man, I get, not too bad.
I'm trying to subscribe a couple times.
I get booted off.
I'm like, man, this is bullshit, you know?
But you got booted off what?
Yeah, I went to nickapolliford.com trying to subscribe, you know, because you're my favorite comedian.
I like listening.
I like buying your movies, everything.
Right.
Your shows.
And I'm just saying probably my fault because I am not nowhere near tech.
I'm old school.
I'm 60 years old.
I hear you.
You know what gets me?
When you see the people that are ganging up on Trump, and I know the con job.
They're trying to railroad that man out.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
And we have got a nation of wussy-fied men that are too scared to stand up on their feet and say, hey, this is bullshit.
You know?
And I was in the Marine Corps back during NAMM and after NAMM, and I saw the change.
I saw the change.
People are, it just, it's so feminine now, and I'm sick of it.
I'm an old man that lives in Texas.
I don't start crap with nobody.
But I'll tell you one thing.
You'll end it.
When Trump gets booted, you're going to see about
10,000 veterans with loaded weapons
ready to get boogalooing.
I hope that's a truth.
I hope that's a truth.
If they railroad him
out of office, I'm not shitting you.
Time to kick off the fucking revolution.
We made it Nancy Pelosi's house.
There's a lot of men in this country
that need to get a this country they need to
get a backbone they need to get a backbone and and say it and get in the media you know the media is
the only place that nobody's ever threatening anybody's all hug hug yeah it's fake fake shit
yeah and and people are sick of it and i'm just saying from my heart, man, I fucking put my life on the line for this country.
I would have died.
I would have gladly died to know that America was a better place.
And I can't believe, I can't believe I served so long ago
to watch this country become a piss hole
for every little nanny boy and girly man.
It just defies imagination, you know.
My grandfather was alive.
He said, you know what, this is bullshit.
It's got to stop.
It's got to stop.
People need to grow up and accept responsibility for their lives and just stop blaming Trump for everything
and that traitor Hillary, she needs to be behind
bars. She's already sold this country down the river and she's got all
these many boys and all these manified
women covering her ass and people need to see
the truth. Well, you're right. And William, hey,
thank you for your service.
It really gets to be
mixed. You know, you're my favorite comedian.
I love listening to you. I'll bust
a gut every time. We have
got all your films,
all your tapes. We love you.
We appreciate that. We want you to get
bigger and bigger and better and better.
And don't worry, when you come to Texas, don't worry about security and all that.
Somebody's caught someone, Nick DiPaolo in Texas.
These cows, we don't play down here.
I know you don't.
I know you don't.
Nick DiPaolo, we will take you outside and show you what a good old-fashioned barn is.
Thank you, William.
Great call.
All right.
Call back.
Have a great day. All right. Call back. Have a great day.
All right.
Bye bye.
Can you imagine
though if you did
serve a nominacy
and that's when it,
he's right,
right after,
that's when it
started to turn.
Fucking weasels
spitting soldiers'
faces on the way
back and shit.
Fucking,
hate Ashbury,
fucking hippie,
new age psychology,
dog shit.
Yeah. Boy, did he sound like he's from Texas
And in the Marines
Uh Steve in Florida
What's going on Steve
What's going on Nick
I'll tell you what's going on
We're on the verge of a civil war
I don't know what's going to kick off
You tell me when, Steve.
Shit, man.
If it just keeps me from going to work, hopefully it happens tomorrow.
Yeah.
What do you do for work?
I do retail in the morning and security at night.
Okay.
In the poor man's world.
You say split the red and blue parts of the country
to see who will last longer.
Yeah, man.
Can we just already split this thing up
in one side liberal and one side conservative
and reasonable people?
Because I'm telling you right now,
the conservative and reasonable people
are going to last a lot longer.
And the liberal side is going to look like
something like Brazil, guaranteed. Yes. Yes, that's my point.
With the funk of people, you know, the far left libs who really, and they really do hate this country.
They used to brag about Cuba and Venezuela and shit. You don't hear them
shooting their mouth off anymore, do you? That's what I never understood. They can't point
to another country where what they believe in worked.
It doesn't exist. So I don't
know, you know, I just
don't get it. And like you said, the
red, at least the red
states will have business, because that's
Exactly. We'll have business, we'll have guns.
We'll have business and guns.
What else do you need?
Exactly. And
last thing, Nick, who is
your favorite comedian? my favorite of all time
yeah that is a tough one man i'll tell you i'm always asked that and
i don't you know i don't know I really, I can't name one.
Robert Klein.
Robert Klein pops into my head.
And I heard him last night again on the radio.
And he tickles my funny bone.
I just love his, you know, he was the hip guy back in the 80s. And people laugh, but Jayeno in his day when jay was a stand-up uh when i used to
see him on the david lederman show as a guest to let him would have more like four times a month
that made me want to do stand-up i'm like this guy is from my neck of the woods he sounds like
me has the same attitude and boy he could he could write a joke in his day but uh then you
get you know george carlin, Class Clown, that album.
I saw Richard Pryor's movie.
I went, oh, my God, this is what I want to do.
So I can't put my finger on one, really.
It's just really weird to see Jay Leno.
I couldn't see him being like, you know, like doing any dirty jokes or like being a savage.
He was, Jay could be dirty when he wanted to.
And he was,
I mean, I saw him at a place
called Nick's in Boston.
He did two hours.
I literally thought
he did about 45 minutes.
He went by so fast.
It was so seamless.
And he was so sharp.
People heckling.
They called him Wyatt Earp.
I mean,
he just destroyed people.
But,
yeah,
those are the guys.
And then there's a bunch of local guys from Boston that you probably wouldn't know who I fucking fell in love with.
The Lenny Clarks and the Steve Sweeneys of the world.
Even the first guy you said, I'm going to have to look that up.
I never heard of him.
Who did I say first?
Robert Klein.
Oh, Robert Klein.
Yeah, he's a New Yorker.
He's from the Bronx.
And he's very professorial.
He'd have like the jacket with the patches on the elbow, but just very bright.
He's got this delivery.
I even find myself slipping into him when I'm on stage, when I'm really, his delivery
is so, he just, and he lives about eight minutes from me.
I should go knock on his house, but I'm afraid to.
Hey, Steve, I got to run.
We're coming up on the end of the show, but I appreciate the call.
Have a good one, man.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
Real quick, Ryan, real quick, new Soprano drop.
Hey, anytime you got to bring up these cunts, bring up the line from Ralph C. Ferretto when he goes,
A, she was a hooah. B, she hit me. See ya!
A. She was a hoo-ah B. She hit me
See ya!
I actually, you know, I did
I meant to pull that a long time ago
A. She was a hoo-ah
That was a brutal episode
Anyways, folks, that is it for Monday
Really?
Feels like it'll be Thursday
Anyways, Fiori, line up some guests
I don't care who they are
Bring in a one-legged fucking German shepherd
We've got some in the works.
This weekend, the Nick is Right talk continues.
Friday, April 20th at the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York.
Saturday, April 21st, Steel Stacks in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
The next weekend, April 27th at the Majestic Theater in Pottsville, PA.
And then Saturday, April 28th at the Kirby Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
and then Saturday, April 28th, the Kirby Center,
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
and Jonathan's in Gunkwit
on May 4th
and the Schubert Theater
in New Haven, Connecticut,
May 5th.
Go to nickdip.com
for all the ticket information.
That it?
I guess that's it, kids.
Thanks to all the callers.
You are the lifeblood of the show.
I'm going to go home
and enjoy myself,
get my recliner,
put on my Arsenio Hall bathrobe
and eat Cheez-Its.
Remember, you think it,
I'll say it.
You're welcome.
Good night, America. Bye.