The Nick DiPaolo Show - Air Force Cans 27 | Nick Di Paolo Show #640

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Biden the BS artist. USPS election experiment. NC pizza joint owner knocked out. Air Force fires 27. Prohibition in Norway. Wig store burglarized in FL....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, if you're not a paid subscriber to the show, please take a moment and subscribe now. Starting today, we are introducing the Nick DiPaolo Show phone line, where you can call up and leave a message for me to play and respond to on the show. This number is only available to subscribers. You'll also get access to the daily Encore episode, which nobody else gets, and hundreds of show archives. Plus, you'll get a discount on merch and free merch, depending on what level you subscribe at.
Starting point is 00:00:30 You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash thenickdapaloshow. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. It's freedom, baby. Yeah! How's it going, folks? Welcome to the big show to you.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Good morning, my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! If that doesn't sum up the world we're living in, I don't know what does. How you guys be doing? Aight? That's street talk. Anyways, boy, I look like I'm 78.
Starting point is 00:01:50 You know, fuck it. I'm going to shave my head and get fake tits. What? Yeah, then become a swimmer and beat all the girls. We'll get to that fruit cup in a second. Anyhow, any he, Monday night football, Arizona got exposed. For Christ's sake, the Rams weren't even at full strength, you know, with injuries and whatever the fuck else they were talking about.
Starting point is 00:02:14 But Jesus, come on now. They looked like the kind of old Rams of a few months ago, what we expected. Does this bore you when I bring up shit like this, folks? I'm hoping most of you guys that heterosexuals like myself and like sports, if you're fans of mine, or you're a gay guy
Starting point is 00:02:32 and likes football because the pants are so tight. You know what I'm saying? Anyways, yeah. So the motherfucker I'm chasing in the pool, he had goddamn Rams last night. I had the fucking,
Starting point is 00:02:44 I think I went with the smart money would go. You're fucking Arizona at home and Rams haven't been fucking anything special. But of course, you know, Kyler Murray has the worst game I've seen him play in a long time. But anyhow, let's get right to it.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Let's talk about fragrances and pantsuits. What? Kiss my ass. Alright, let's get it over with. Iuits. What? Kiss my ass. All right. Let's get it over with. I mean, let's do the show. All right. In the N-word segment tonight,
Starting point is 00:03:13 transgender University of Pennsylvania swim team member Leah Thomas, you know who it is, taunted natural-born female opponents saying that beating them was so easy I was cruising, according to one swimming team member. I wonder if he changes in the locker room with them, you think, lucky bastard? Wow, though, what a great guy, huh? What a great combination. He's a biological aberration, and he's conceited, too. All due respect, fella slash bitch, cruising is probably what you were doing Saturday nights before you became a woman.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I'm guessing an assless leather chap at 2 a.m. in a bathroom of a Greyhound station. Excuse me, Nick, you said, you meant to say she, right? Not he, right? No, no. Well, she was a he who became a she. No, but I meant to say he because I was a dick who just became a bigger dick. Fuck this guy. Oh, by the way, if you do fuck him and you're a guy, you're a homo. And if you're a woman, you're a dyke. Now, a lot of you are saying, but Nick, that's really not how it works anymore. And I say, says who?
Starting point is 00:04:20 If we've learned anything about gender in the past few years, it's that all this shit seems to be up for grabs. It seems to be. If I live in a world where a guy can point to his dick and say, I'm Sharon today, well, fucking all bets are off. I'm making my own rules. It seems subjective, so I'm playing by my own rules. This he-she, Leah, seems to be doing just that. He insists he's a woman because by new NCAA sports rules,
Starting point is 00:04:44 he has to have suppressed his levels of testosterone down to that of a biological woman for at least a year before he could start competing. So in his little woke world, that makes him a chick too. Even though when he's in the water, he has a distinct edge because number one, he's got a rudder they don't have. That's a dick joke, folks. Also suppressing his testosterone levels didn't shrink his physical size and strength he's not all of a sudden shopping in the petite section at the dress barn he's still bigger stronger and faster
Starting point is 00:05:14 because he's a fucking guy so he's stronger and faster than a biological woman and that's why he's beating them like James Brown used to his ex-wives after a few drinks You know I'm saying you people in your late 80s and biological women are at a distinct Disadvantage and should be pissed what if Mike Tyson declared tomorrow he wanted to transition so he could fight professional female boxes Look, I already know he has the voice for it
Starting point is 00:05:42 But that's besides the point even if he suppressed his testosterone levels to that of Lady Gaga, he's still going to look like he just did a 10-year stint at a federal pen. Am I right? Then let's say after his first eight fights, his record is 8-0, two by knockout, three by paralysis, and three by, as Mike would like to say, kill a bitch. Don't you think people would be furious? So why are we letting this chick with a dick,
Starting point is 00:06:09 this twit with no slit, this slob with a knob, get away with it? Yes, the part of me that hates radical feminists, you know, the ones who have been spouting that dog shit for years, the only difference between men and women are socially constructed ones, and we can do anything a man can do, blah, blah, blah. Part of me is enjoying watching them get slapped across the face with the big, thick cock of reality. But the rest of me sees how clearly unfair it is to ladies who were born ladies. So, Leah, quit bragging about how easy these races are as you're cruising to the finish line.
Starting point is 00:06:43 The only thing you're cruising for by being a showboater is a couple of fat lips, which I'm sure you've already made an appointment for with collagen shots. Anyways, that's the N-word. Let's move on to the O-word, the J, and the C. Is there anything left I can say as a white guy? The show's gonna be a Charlie Chaplin film in a few weeks. My fucking face is holding this coffee. I don't know what the fuck happened. I ate two bowls of fucking raisin bread. Yeah, let's move on with the show.
Starting point is 00:07:20 I fucking love cereal now. Like I did when I was a kid. I haven't eaten it in years. Now I love it. Anyhow, what's that got to do with anything? I don't know. Not a goddamn thing. It's just so hard to go into a story about my fake president.
Starting point is 00:07:36 It's one thing if you stole an election and you were good president. Maybe I'll look by it. But then you wouldn't have had to steal it in the first place if you were a decent nominee. What a fucking train wreck. And you know what's funny? There's nobody's worrying if you're a Republican. There's no danger of them turning this fucking ship around.
Starting point is 00:07:56 They, every time they make a move, they dig a deeper hole. Because capitalism, which this country is, is having an allergic reaction to Marxism, the way it should be. Anyways, Biden, the bullshit artist,
Starting point is 00:08:17 a CNBC poll released Friday showed Biden with only a 41% approval rating. First of all, all the ones I'm seeing, he's in the 30s. So I don't even know what article Tommy got this from. But 41%, you fucking wish. He's got a 41% chance of living past next June. Approval rate. With Americans giving him only a 46% approval rating on handling the coronavirus.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Who would do that? More people have died under him. So how could he even a 46% approval rating on handling the coronavirus. Who would do that? More people have died under him. So how could he even get 46%? Almost half think he's doing a good job. Please explain that. It's all a lie, right? I'm just playing along anyways. I have to make a living.
Starting point is 00:08:56 And only 37% approving of his handling of his own junk. What? Oh, of the economy. What is it? 37% 37 that's still way too high biden laughed off his poor approval number it's funny to him uh poor approval numbers during a virtual appearance can't even go to the show uh with uh Show host Jimmy Fallon joking that he did not even look at the approval numbers anymore. But he ultimately blamed the ongoing coronavirus like a typical lib does.
Starting point is 00:09:37 What did he blame? The coronavirus pandemic is making us upset with his job performance. It's affecting us somehow. Does this guy have any character whatsoever as far as being a leader? Any qualities? I'm sorry Dallas had to pull this. I couldn't even watch this fucking. First of all, I didn't even know he was on.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Which means I don't think they marketed that well. I can't believe they let him loose. Here's a little bit of. You know what? Jimmy's just doing what he has to do. I understand. He's in position. What's he, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:08 Although he did mess up Trump's hair. You know what I mean? So why didn't you fucking, I don't know, you could have put a whoopee cushion on Biden's seat and he might have had a heart attack and that would have been funny.
Starting point is 00:10:17 But here you go. Watch this putrid shit. Well, look, here's the deal. I think that it's- Here's the deal. Shut the fuck up. We've been in less than a year. A lot has happened. And look, here's the deal. I think that it's a deal. We've been in less than a year. A lot has happened. And look, people are afraid. People are worried.
Starting point is 00:10:31 And people are getting so much inaccurate information to them. I don't mean about me, but I'm about this situation. And and so they're, you know, they're being told that, you know, Armageddon's on the way. The truth is the economy has grown more than it has any time in close to 60 years. What the fuck did you just say? And maybe it's true, but inflation has grown higher than it has in the last 60 years or whatever the fuck. How dare you just look into the camera and insult you people? And you wanted this over Trump. How does Jimmy Fallon not pass out laughing right here?
Starting point is 00:11:19 Go ahead. The unemployment rate's down to 4.2%. It's going to go lower, in my view. We do have inflation on things that, in fact, matter to people's lives. You know, when you show up at a gas station and it's three dollars and 50 cents at your pump. Although now, because I took 50 billion barrels, a million barrels out of what they call the oil patrolling reserve, the gasoline is down below three dollars in many places. It's going to come down. It's going to move.
Starting point is 00:11:47 But in the meantime, people are worried. And they're worried about whether or not, you know, they have a brother, sister, uncle, aunt who has gotten COVID and they don't know what to do about it. I mean, so there's a lot of anxiety. And my job is to be straightforward, shoot from the shoulder. Why don't you shoot from your mouth with a gun? And lay out how I'm going to try to make life better for them. He sounds like an old man trying to explain the news, reading the newspaper to his grandson.
Starting point is 00:12:15 And it's a barrel. They call it the petroleum. Jill likes to rub some of this on my dry sack in the winter. Fucking dumb mutt. Jesus, what a sad excuse. Oh my God. But Trump had mean tweets. Get him out of there. So what if he had the best economy ever in the history of the United States? Lowest unemployment in every demographic you could look at. Crushed ISIS in five minutes. didn't get us into any wars. So what? Sealed the fucking gate, didn't let the whole world come in, by the way. People come and they
Starting point is 00:12:53 said, I watched your report last, 39 different countries yesterday. We're talking Tajikistan, Pakistan. Are you dog styling me? Good luck, folks. I am glad I'm 50 fucking nine. I hope I have a fucking heart attack on my Peloton. I don't have a Peloton. I can't afford that. It's another thing that bugs me. You need somebody in a mirror to tell you to fucking do curls? You stupid fucks.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Really? You're that weak? There's always some Puerto Rican chick with a nice ass. Come on, Bill. You can do it. Shut the fuck up. Fucking twat. Anyways. Fucking twat. Anyways.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Fucking. What an asshole. People are afraid. Yeah. You're making a point for us. What are we doing? What's going on right now? I don't know, jerk off.
Starting point is 00:13:44 La, la, jerk-off. The White House claimed Friday Biden's numbers on the economy was so bad because of the psychology that came with the coronavirus pandemic. What does that even mean? Really? Somebody's at the pump going, you know, this is $2 cheaper at this time last year. Oh, I got the sniffles. That must be it. I got a fever. I'm dizzy. Those numbers can't be real. I'm hallucinating. What we're seeing in our data is people's psychology on the economy, on how they're experiencing things in the country right now is related to COVID. White House press secretary, Jen Freckleface Sackey. I just want to spank her.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Not because she's good. I just want to spank her. I mean, with a belt like my father used to. Right across the ass. Knock those freckles right onto her pillow. Who's with me? Dallas is.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Jen Sackey said to reporters during the daily briefing, they make up this shit. Seriously. Don't you want to go, what are you talking, what has COVID got to do with inflation? What the fuck are you talking about? Will you shut up?
Starting point is 00:14:53 Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? Imagine trying to date her. She's like a great fucking liar. She does it so,
Starting point is 00:15:03 she's actually good at what she does, which makes her a dirty little asshole, in my opinion. Nick, don't go too far. Let's stay on President Biden. He seems very popular in third-row shitholes. Just remember what I told you, people. There's people coming in. Yesterday, it was just 39 different countries. Just think about that. And he's flying them at night and planting. How that's legal is beyond me. Anyhow, we'll find out in a few years when, you know, people start getting raped.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Oh, Nick, you're being stereotypical. No, I'm not. Go fucking look what happened to Norway, the Netherlands, all that shit. Most of Western European countries. Check out what's gone on in the last 10 years and see how unmitigated immigration has affected the SSI. Mama Luca.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Roughly 3,000 pounds of Let's Go Brandon wrapping paper. Let's Go Brandon wrapping paper was paper. What did I just say? Paper. That's Spanish for paper. 3,000 pounds of Let's Go branding Christmas wrapping paper. Oh boy, is this great? Families may, I wonder like when Biden gets Christmas gifts from his family, they'll have the same.
Starting point is 00:16:27 What, are you going to give them dump Trump? Families may find Christmas presents under the tree they share, wrapped in paper, printed with the phrase, let's go, Brandon. The founder of bringammo.com. What the fuck? Is that where you get your bullets down? Bringammo.com. Seth the fuck? Is that where you get your bullets, though? Bringammo.com. Seth Weathers told Washington Examiner,
Starting point is 00:16:49 we've never seen anything like this. Thanks, Joe. He continued, since launching, we've printed over 260,000 square feet of Let's Go Brandon wrapping paper. That's enough to completely cover six NFL football fields. That's some wild shit. That's wild, man.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's running around. As the outlet noted, that's roughly 3,000 pounds of paper. It sells for $19.95 a roll, if you do the math. According to the website, the company also sells Let's Go Brandon ornaments
Starting point is 00:17:19 and sweaters. We have a video? Oh, terrific. This will make me hot. Launched the new gear a few weeks ago and told its fans the new 132,000 square foot paper was enough to cover three football fields or three acres. Those who have bought the popular wrapping paper have sent in photos of their Christmas decorating, along with other merchandise like stickers, tree ornaments, flags, hats and t-shirts. According to the website, there has been over 15,000 sold. In a statement, the founder Seth Weathers said, what started as a fun idea for current
Starting point is 00:17:56 customers turned into a nationwide frenzy. Since launching, the wrapping paper has consumed 3,000 pounds of raw paper and kept a family-owned Georgia print facility busy around the clock. We've never seen anything like this. Thanks, Joe. That's England's version of a Fox News girl. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year? What? A big fat cock in my ass.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Gave you that last year, little girl. Oh, Joe, that can't make you happy. Put a spin on that one, you old wrinkled dick cheese, you. In October, the phrase became popular, like you guys don't know this, after an NBC reporter, it was abroad, by the way, thought she heard, even this article slanted. It's not what she thought she heard. She knew what she heard and did some quick thinking on her part
Starting point is 00:18:51 because she's an NBC company girl. She thought she heard cheers for NASCAR race winner Brandon Brown when they were chanting, fuck Joe Biden. Yeah, I can see how you can confuse the two. You dirty little pecker, you. Oh, my, my, my. Hey, does Biden get a cut because his name's on it? I don't know how that works.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Let me call my agent. Anyways, staying on kind of Biden-related shit. Why? Well, he stole the election. election well how'd he do that well they use uh covet as a pretext and uh that made people stay home because it was dangerous you could get sick so you'd mail in your vote and everybody knows that uh you could win any election doing that and uh here's a nice story for election experiment the united states postal service uh pursued a project to build and secretly test a blockchain-based mobile phone voting system before the 2020 election experimenting
Starting point is 00:19:55 with a technology that the government's own cyber security agency says can't be trusted to securely handle ballots. Yeah, no kidding, huh? Are you interested in the real story? Yes, I am. The system was never deployed in a live election and was abandoned in 2019, Postal Service spokesman David Partenheimer said.
Starting point is 00:20:19 That was after cybersecurity researchers at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs conducted a test of the system during a mock election and found numerous ways that it was vulnerable to hacking. I'm surprised they didn't use it. They said, we'd rather do our own hacking and cheating. We don't need it. The project appears to have been conducted without the involvement of federal agencies. Well, it's only a presidential election. What the fuck? More closely focused, oh, on elections, which were then scrambling to make voting more secure
Starting point is 00:20:51 in the wake of the Russian interference in the 26th. They're still writing that? You know what the Russian interference turned out to be for? Literally, a couple hundred thousand dollars of Facebook ads. Literally. Adam Schiff, may you burn in hell, you filthy. He's got those rosacea cheeks. Oh boy, I almost blew a snot at the screen. Anyways, those efforts focused primarily on using paper ballots so the voter could verify their vote was recorded accurately. This is what I always said. You should have a paper trail, no? Then you could have it
Starting point is 00:21:31 in your hand and go, look. But what are they going to do? Question these? I don't know. Let's admit it. They're all full of shit. You can't do this. You know, it's one thing to vote for a president in high school and there's 40 people in the class. It's another thing when there's, you know, a couple hundred million. You can't do it. You can't. Not cleanly. How do I know? Well, I'm half Italian. I've seen what they... Anyways, could record their vote accurately, and they're worried about if you had a paper trail, wouldn't record it, blah, blah. Would be a paper trail for auditors, something missing from any mobile phone or internet-based system. The secrecy of the Postal Service's mobile voting project
Starting point is 00:22:06 alarmed election security officials and advocates who fear it could spark conspiracy theories. As opposed to how he did it? And degrade public faith in the Democrat. Yeah, that didn't happen by all the mail-in voting. Am I fucking... Hello? Hello?
Starting point is 00:22:22 Yeah, that didn't happen by all the mail-in voting. Am I fucking... Hello? Degrade public faith in the democratic process. Those concerns have grown immensely since the 2020 election, bolstered by, and here comes the word, I taught you people how to read the news, bolstered by baseless claims of election fraud by former President Donald Trump and his supporters.
Starting point is 00:22:47 They're still calling you guys fucking liars and shit when there's overwhelming... You guys, look around the world you live in. You really don't think they're fucking trying to hide shit? Huh? Matt Masterson, who was then a senior advisor to the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, enough bureaucratic names, can you just layer upon layer? And the federal government's chief liaison to state and local election officials said he was never aware of the Postal Service Program while in office. I don't know nothing about that. If you're doing anything in the election space, transparency should be priority number one.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Exactly, my friend. There should be no guessing games around this, Masterson said. It's scandalous for a government entity to conduct research into the security of blockchain online voting, which shows how insecure it is, but then hide the results and deprive the public and officials
Starting point is 00:23:46 of these findings for over two years. Why would they do that? You know, why are they going, we'll work the kinks out of it. Don't tell anybody about this yet. Said Susan Greenhalgh, seen here, a nice 14-year-old blonde boy, senior advisor on election security for free speech for people, which advocates for election security and opposes mobile voting. Good for you. Who the fuck she looks like? She reminds me of, I don't know, Judith Light when she was going through cancer. Anyways, CISA declined to comment for this story.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Hello? Hello? Always trying to cheat us people, huh? You dirty rotten. Nobody knew about it. Even people in Poland. I'm going to come up with a way. I know what we'll do.
Starting point is 00:24:39 We'll dink our, we'll stick our finger in purple ink like they do in fucking Tehran or wherever. Where do they do in fucking Tehran or wherever. What do they do? Iraq. Everywhere. That's just tremendous, huh?
Starting point is 00:24:55 I just don't, I'll tell you, that last election, presidents took the wind star chart of me. I don't know that I'll be voting anymore. Dallas, am I wrong? I'm not. This guy's a goddamn patriot. Vet., am I wrong? I'm not. This guy's a goddamn patriot. Vet.
Starting point is 00:25:08 And he's like, I'm not. Really, I felt used. I stood in that line and put up with that horse shit for almost six minutes. Come on. No, I was out there quite a while. Seven. Anyways, you know what's not fair besides the elections we were talking about? Netflix hides thousands of shows and movies from you guys based
Starting point is 00:25:27 on location and then has the nerve to increase their prices on you. That's right. They just raise their prices once again. Now, you could just cancel your subscription or you could be smart about it and make sure you're getting your full money's worth by using Express VPN like I do. This is one of the best products. You might not know this, but what's on Netflix in America isn't complete. It's completely different from what someone in Canada or Japan has on theirs. Using Express VPN, I can control which country I want Netflix to think I'm in. Right now, you could be watching the De Niro classic, Once Upon a Time in America. For some reason, it's not on on US Netflix, but with just one tap of a button, ExpressVPN lets me change my location to the UK to watch it.
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Starting point is 00:27:30 bananas what pizza with bananas what the hell is that that doesn't sound right I don't like pineapple on you you don't like that to your delice oh good you sure yeah all right yeah he likes me that's my boy pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Somebody asked me what I have at dinner five nights in a row. A North Carolina pizzeria owner was knocked unconscious and stomped on. Right there I stop and go, let me see. North Carolina. Guy was unconscious and got stomped on.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Sounds black to me. Sounds like a very black crime to me. I'm getting probably get sucker punched too because that's how they roll. Pizza owner was knocked unconscious and stomped on while trying to break up a late night brawl at his own restaurant. How dare he? On December 5thutal video footage shows this. Mike Skoda-Defrago was sucker punched around 2.30 in the morning at his Winston-Salem restaurant, Brother's Pizza. Still trying to get the story all together, but I was breaking up a fight, this is the owner talking,
Starting point is 00:28:38 between two girls and three guys got involved, and I got jumped and stomped until I was unconscious. I have two boys and I'm a single dad. I don't need this in my life, DeFrago recounted on Facebook. Winston-Salem Police Sergeant Kevin Bowers confirmed that there was a fight between five people that occurred before DeFrago was attacked. There were two different patrons with tables in there, and somehow an argument started, and then from the argument, a fight began,
Starting point is 00:29:08 and then the business owner tried to break things up, and he was assaulted, Bauer's told Fox 8. There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! Surveillance footage obtained by the network shows two groups of people walking angrily towards each other. And do you really, if you didn't know, could you figure it out on your own? Honestly.
Starting point is 00:29:31 And pointing at each other, probably somebody disrespected somebody by looking at him too long. You know, something really huge like that. DeFrago can be seen trying to stop others from heading into the confrontation and then begins to walk over to try and break things up. Suddenly, he's sucker punched because these are chicken shit people from behind in the side of the head and collapses unconscious.
Starting point is 00:29:53 His attacker appears to stomp on his, you know, unconscious fucking head naturally. I'll say it again. We don't have a crime problem in this country. We have a black crime problem. I can't make it any clearer. Anyways, let's take a look at footage that we've seen, I don't know, 400,000 times since I was 18 years old.
Starting point is 00:30:17 He's in the black T-shirt, the owner right here, looking back at us. Okay? Now here comes, here come the chicken shit scumbags from behind. Here you go. A lot of balls, huh?
Starting point is 00:30:35 A lot of balls. And now he's stomping on it. It's not enough that he's, okay? But let me guess. You guys don't have enough footage to find out who it is? Is that how it fucking works? Huh?
Starting point is 00:30:52 Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. Again and again and again. But we have to keep believing. Hey. Just got to keep believing. We don't have a problem all people the same but inside and out oh Nick I find that statement astoundingly ignorant that you okay you find the truth astoundingly ignorant because you can't recognize it if it knocked you out and stomped on your head. How many times have we seen that? That takes a lot of ball. How you got
Starting point is 00:31:31 a guy unconscious to stomp on his head? Number one, you could kill him and you're going to go to a, you're going to go to a and spend the rest of your life in jail. Oh, wait a minute, what am I saying? You'll be out on bail in two hours. Excuse me, now I see why they do it. Okay, let's move on before I kick myself off the show. Headlines air forced out. The Air Force has discharged 27 people for refusing to get the COVID-19 vaccine, making them what officials believe are the first service members to be removed for disobeying the mandate to get the shots. Can you imagine that? You're fired.
Starting point is 00:32:07 You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. What a good way to weaken the United States military, huh? Inbelievable how much mileage they got out of COVID, whether it's stealing election.
Starting point is 00:32:20 It's doing everything. It's like a Swiss army knife, weakening the fucking military, keeping you people at home on the dole so middle-class businesses will crash and they can replace it with whatever the fuck they want to. Do you see it all? Oh, you're wearing a tinfoil hat. Yeah, it fits perfectly. Suck a dick and die. The Air Force gave its forces until November 2nd to get the vaccine, and thousands have either refused or sought an exemption. Air Force spokesman Anne Stefanik said Monday that these are the first airmen to be administratively discharged for reasons involving the vaccine.
Starting point is 00:32:57 She said all of them were in their first term of enlistment, so they were younger, lower-ranking personnel. And while the Air Force does not disclose what type of discharge a service member gets, legislation working its way through Congress limits the military to giving troops in vaccine refusal cases an honorable discharge or general discharge under honorable. They're proactively pushing against the military, against people who are signing up to defend this country. What more do you people need to fucking know? Look me in the eyes, you pricks. You all voted for me.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Voted for you. I mean, you're all fans of mine. Voted for me. Let me do the Mussolini thing. Were you here for that or is this before? Did we talk about Mussolini thing. Were you here for that? Or is this before? Did we talk about Mussolini? You know how when a guy scores a touchdown in the NFL, a brother usually goes like this?
Starting point is 00:33:52 You know how they do that? Fucking Mussolini invented it. I know they don't know it. But I'm telling you, there's a famous, you can Google it, any speech. There's a speech where Mussolini's going off, and when he's done, there's like thousands of people. He goes like this. Dude, it's like he just caught a pass in the corner of the end zone. It's so perfect. You started that, Mussolini, you son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Can you imagine? We're not going to let him be discharged with honorable. Can you imagine? I can't even. None of the 27 sought any type of exemption, medical, administrative, or religious. You know why? They just said, fuck you. I'm not putting that in my body. Stefanik said several officials from other services said they believe that so far only the Air Force has gotten this far along in the process and discharged people over the vaccine. Well, let's applaud them for being ahead of the curve. Fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. As a result, they were formally removed from service
Starting point is 00:34:57 for failure to obey an order. Boy, that doesn't say it all, huh? Stefanik, or Stefanikik said it is also possible that some had other infractions on their records. Oh, is that right? And the fucking Air Force get over it. Yeah, there you go. What are they, pinching ass of a lesbian? But all had the vaccine refusal as one of the elements of their discharge.
Starting point is 00:35:23 According to the latest Air Force data, more than 1,000 airmen have refused the shot and more than 4,700 are seeking a religious exemption. They're fighting to defend our rights, to not have shit like this imposed upon us. Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!
Starting point is 00:35:57 I have a need for speed! Whatever that saying was from that corny movie. What was her name, the lead, McGillis? Big lesbian. And Tom Cruise, we don't know where he sits, actually. Imagine that, that love story, no straight people involved in it. No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I don't think that's true about Cruise. Only reason I say that is because Jay Moore did a movie with him. He goes, yeah, that guy's about as gay as fucking Dick Butkus. So I just made that up. But that was paraphrasing what Jay said. Anyways. Booze, a no-no in Norway.
Starting point is 00:36:34 What and why? What other reason to live there? As part of new efforts to curb the spread of the fake Omicron variant, which doesn't exist and really makes nobody sick, but you people keep wearing your mask and being fucking like pit bulls tied to a fence,
Starting point is 00:36:50 being beaten every day. As part of the new efforts to curb the spread of the Omicron variant of COVID virus, Norway has decided to ban serving alcohol in pubs because we all know that leads to, you know, a couple of fog cutters and old fashions leads to the fucking omicron variant in pubs and restaurants apart from imposing strict rules in schools and speeding up vaccinations in the country man are people swallowing this whole
Starting point is 00:37:19 it's just so ridiculous new covet 19 rules will prohibit the sale of alcoholic bars. This is a global movement, folks. It's us against them. Restaurants and other service-based venues from Wednesday, which will reportedly last for over four weeks, while Norwegians
Starting point is 00:37:41 are also being urged to work from home if possible. Son of a whore! Prime Minister Jonas Agastor warned of a serious situation where the Delta variant and the highly transmissible Omicron, who wrote that script for this guy, would create a total saturation of the health system. Are you guys fucking for this guy? Would create a total saturation of the health system. Are you guys fucking buying this still? Norway, of all places.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Wake up, white people. For many, this will feel like a lockdown. This is him talking. If not of society, then of their lives and of their livelihoods, Stor said at a news conference on Monday. What's he bragging about it? Guy looks like Bobby York. Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:36 It's a world, it's a globalist movement, folks. It's really creepy, isn't it? I see little kids and I go, oh my God, people with new babies and two-year-olds, I go, what are these kids going to be faced with? By then, it won't matter to me. Why is that?
Starting point is 00:38:58 Well, I'll be in the ground, covered with snow, and there's maggots filling my head. And my Pierre Cardin sweatsuit, I'm being buried. Like a fake gangster. Oh, my God. I'm telling you, folks. Should be getting crazy.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Am I right, folks? Should be getting crazy out there. That's every black comedian's segue. Should be getting crazy. out there. That's every black comedian's segue. Should be getting crazy. Speaking of black people, wigging. No, no, no, no! Ooh, in our FLA segment tonight, I jumped the gun on that one. Wigging out. What does that mean, Nick? Well, smash and hair grab. That sounds like a New York Post headline. This is in the FLA segment, did I tell you that?
Starting point is 00:39:46 Check out surveillance video of a wig store burglary in Florida. Is it because we're black? Of all the shit you can steal. Black people, I love you. I got to tell you, you do make life interesting. Who steals wigs? Are these all comedians?
Starting point is 00:40:10 Look at, oh man, look at that. Give that to Letitia for Christmas. My Uncle Bob, he be bald. Give him that. Oh, don't break the mannequins' heads. I'm surprised they're not stomping on those. Did they get anything? Wait right la la la la la oh I don't like these these don't match my pubes I'm coming back in Jesus they're dressed like they're cleaning a nuclear spill oh They're dressed like they're cleaning a nuclear spill. Oh, they're going to town now. Guys, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:40:54 Those are a lot of... Look at all the heads on the floor. This looks very different. Two toes around him. Yeah, that would be embarrassing if you slipped on one of those you blew out your ACL and you're holding a bunch of weeds. Oh my god. Stealing wigs. I don't know. I never stole anything
Starting point is 00:41:17 like wigs. Anyways. Is that it? That's it? That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. We ended with a nice light one. Some wig stealing. They said they're going to sell those on Craigslist? Who the fuck's going to buy a fucking used wig?
Starting point is 00:41:40 Yeah, I want some lice and my... I don't even know what to say about that. Anyhow, I think what I think they're going to do, I might be prejudging these young black fellas. I think they might be going to sell those to people that are going through chemo. I mean, give them to them. That sound right to
Starting point is 00:41:58 you people? The Christmas spirit? Anyways, that's enough. I want to go home and punch myself in the side of the face. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com the permanent home of this show if you guys keep contributing which you can do at patreon.com thecomicsgym.com I think nickdip.com too where you can buy merchandise for Christmas I think we have a little sale going on. And don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or a relative. It makes a great stocking stuffer. Not really.
Starting point is 00:42:31 I do it on my phone and I send it to you. But put your phone on the stocking and have it ring that one. I don't know. But I'll roast people. As you know, I have that skill. You might have seen me on Comedy Center lighting it up for many years.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Anyways, that's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a nice rest of the day. guitar solo Outro Music

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