The Nick DiPaolo Show - Anthony Cumia Part 1 | Nick Di Paolo Show #1550
Episode Date: April 8, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews Anthony Cumia! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder�...�� show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.comÂ
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🎵 Welcome to the show, folks.
Hope you had a great weekend.
Happy Monday to you.
My guest today, you know him, you love him. One of the funniest
people I know, and you know, I
fucking hang around comedians all my
life, and this guy
chose radio, and of course he kicked
ass, and he's a comedian
who just fucking figured it out and didn't have to
fly all over the country like us assholes.
Please welcome my buddy
Anthony Cumia. Ant, what's
going on, fella?
It has been too long, Nick.
Too long indeed.
Great to see you.
You're looking great.
I watch your show.
Do you?
I look at the clips that come out.
And I'm very appreciative that there's another person,
and I use the term loosely, person out there that's that's fighting the good fight jesus let me tell you something i i i same thing i i check your feed and um i'm i'm belly laughing
going i don't understand how he's i know he's got his own thing but it's still x how is how does he
his face his name's there how has he not been kicked off the planet? Because you're just telling it like it is.
It's not that it's so outrageous.
It's the truth is outrageous when we talk about race.
And you, I mean, you call every frigging, and I'm going, where does he get his footage?
You put shit up that I don't see anywhere.
I'm like, this guy's got his, how do you not get in trouble, Anthony?
I don't even know how it works.
I'm like, this guy's got his, how do you not get in trouble, Anthony?
I don't even know how it works.
I was exiled from ex-Twitter for seven years.
They took my original account that's just Anthony Kumi.
It's, you know, my name.
And I had to go under other pseudonyms for a while. And then when Elon took over Twitter, he reinstated me and my name.
And I learned so much during those seven years in exile of having other accounts and getting
thrown off and having to make another one that I've put together kind of a strategy
to really try at least not to get kicked off.
And there's certain little subtleties that I've noticed. You can't call someone a savage,
but you could say that, oh God, that is some savage behavior. So it's this finesse that I've
learned. It's delicate dance that I have learned to try to stay on.
Well, yeah. It's like jujitsu. You're playing their game
because they're the word masters.
And like when,
I don't know if it's fucking jujitsu
or whatever,
judo,
somebody comes out
and you take their energy
with whatever the fuck.
You're sort of doing that,
playing their game with words.
But even the shit like you post,
I don't know.
I get all kinds of shit.
Well, actually,
that was from my manager.
There was a brawl.
There was a brawl, and I know you covered it.
You probably covered it a month before I did.
There was a brawl in some deli in New York, a bodega,
and it was these young black kids just tearing up the deli,
and there was a thing of bananas on the counter that never got touched.
So I had to, I just put that up there.
I said, okay, imagine the bananas. And, you know, I had to, I just put that up there. Okay, imagine the Ben Anderson game
and you know,
fucking shit storm,
I guess.
I don't read my comments,
but Tommy,
you know,
my manager yanked it down
and my wife
and fuck,
she started to fucking pack up,
got a U-Haul.
I said,
you fucking bitch.
No,
it got all fucking,
you know,
and I'm like,
he said,
you're a comedian. You got to make a joke. That's not a fucking joke. No. It got all fucking, you know, and I'm like, he's a, you're a comedian.
You got,
you got to make a joke about,
that's not a fucking joke.
I know it.
And you know what?
And you know who had a problem with it?
Anthony.
And I don't,
I love Gnome from the Comedy Cellar.
Of course.
Because I asked him right after to do my show.
And he goes,
you comparing black people to,
which I fucking,
I felt like saying,
in that moment,
I did.
But have you watched
my stand-up
and watched my
10 years of podcasting?
I do not believe,
you know,
black people
are a fucking ape.
You know,
I mean,
I was kind of disappointed.
Then Noam actually
thought it over
and agreed to come on the show
because he knows
that's not me.
But I see shit to me
on your thing
that's way more
edgy than that.
You must have figured it out.
Nick, there is a freedom
in not
giving a flying fuck anymore
about what anybody says
or thinks. I had my run in
with Noam, and as
a person,
I love Noam. I think he's a really good guy. I've had plenty
of interactions with him, good and bad. I respect him as a business owner. He's doing great
things over there with the seller. But we just do not see eye to eye and he's got a problem with me. I don't care about that.
I don't live my life trying to please people like Noam and a litany of other people, especially
ironically enough stand-up comics, that find what I say and do and talk about and the opinions
I put out, they find them offensive and repugnant. And I just move on and stay focused and in line with what I believe in
and what I find funny.
Like most of the stuff I post, people obviously call it racist
and sexist and homophobic.
I find this shit hilarious.
And when two black women are fighting and they're completely naked
by the middle of the fight and their
weaves are falling out all over the place.
That to me is fucking hilarious.
And if you don't find it funny, you're just lying to yourself first of all, and you're
trying to virtue signal and I'm done.
I'm done making apologies or being nice to people that find what I do racist or homophobic or xenophobic or whatever the fuck.
Right.
And look, I'm not much different.
The only difference with me is I still rely on road money.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
They can go, I've said mild shit.
I said, I think I repeated that.
I might have told you this.
After all the George Floyd riots and shit,
there's something on at a college campus
where the college kids were fucking running roughshod.
And I said, we need another fucking Kent State.
You know what I mean?
Because the security guard just stands around
and the cop's doing nothing.
I said, we need another Kent State.
All of a sudden, my manager calls like two days later.
I go, am I still doing that gig in Georgia, that theater?
He goes, no.
And I go, why?
And they saw that.
And that cost me a gig.
So when people ask me, does this affect your life?
I usually say no.
I said, I'm still.
But there's a lot of gigs that Tommy probably doesn't even tell me about that I can't get because of cracks like that.
I understand that, and I respect it.
Look, I know so many people that aren't in the entertainment business
that have normal jobs that can't even say the slightest thing
that could be twisted and turned into being racist.
And what I'm saying about
myself is I feel lucky. I feel like I have been able to say shit without any restrictions
because I have been so utterly canceled that there's really nothing left. I've set up my own thing. I, I am able to
speak honestly and openly, but I understand we still live in a place where it's very difficult
for people that have to answer to a club owners or a boss or a wife or whatever the fuck it is.
I was kidding about my wife. I do understand. I don't answer to no
skirt.
It's more of a
pantsuit she wears, but go ahead.
No, no, I got you, man.
I just got in a big tizzy
with black Twitter over
fucking Beyonce dressing like a
cowgirl. Do you call black Twitter?
They should combine and call it bitter.
Yeah. No bitter. Yeah.
No shit.
Yeah, they just get very angry when people comment where they don't belong.
You know, I don't belong.
I can't.
I don't have the right to say Beyonce could be culturally appropriating the white, western, working cowboy.
No, exactly.
I saw a little bit of that.
I was belly lapping.
It's so fucking funny.
It is?
It really is.
They really think that we,
it was a ton of,
if you listen to them,
you would think it was fucking,
you know, the whole,
every cowboy was fucking,
had his roots in fucking Tanzania or whatever the fuck.
Just total nonsense.
And some of them, I believe, don't even believe it themselves.
They just enjoy fighting with us.
Yeah, yeah.
But let me ask you this.
Like, black Twitter, do they kind of like you?
Is there anybody on there that liked you for, like, I would think there's some black people
on black Twitter that would say, I like this guy because he's a because there are people you know a lot of black people usually
older closer already appreciate that type of they just want to know where whitey stands with them
right there's a whole generation that doesn't appreciate that now thanks to the fucking
marxist professors and all that shit who who yeah you know oh you know but are there some
do some of the black people say you're're crazy, but I like you or whatever?
You get any of that?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I got a couple of black dudes from like L.A. and Chicago and the Bronx, New York, that call my show very regularly to discuss black issues.
Excellent.
Black issues.
Excellent. And when me and Gavin were doing our stand-up thing around the country,
when we were in California, in L.A., one of them showed up.
One of the guys showed up, black dude.
And we lapped our asses off, had some drinks at the bar, had a great time.
So, yeah, there are some of these black dudes that get it.
They get it.
They're pissed.
They're pissed off that when they walk down the street,
people go to the other side of the street,
or you get that woman clutching her bag in the elevator
and all, they're pissed because the community,
if you wanna call it that,
has made it impossible for them to walk around
or go into a CVS without people think
they're gonna walk out with a Santa Claus bag full of shampoo.
And the second half of the show,
I'll be talking to the guy we talked to
in the first half of the show,
the great Anthony Cumia.
It gets even more interesting.
It's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to
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Thank you guys so much.
See you soon.
I know.
And I learned so much from Colin Quinn
because Colin grew up in Brooklyn,
went to a high school that was half black,
and actually has in-laws who are Caribbean, island black, whatever.
But I learned so much from Colin because he thrives on this shit too.
And that was one of the first things that he drove home to me,
how we're talking to the great Anthony Comey, by the way.
Thank you.
He drove a point on that.
No, they appreciate, again, I don't know if they used to appreciate a white guy who tells
Look, at the comedy cellar, I would not be standing there waiting to be introduced and
look around and go, oh, look at this table of Puerto Ricans, a table, but I better keep
this kind of civil.
No, it would gin me up.
And who would be laughing the hardest?
I learned that from Colin.
I was watching Quinn on Comedy Cellar one night,
and I'm telling you, for some reason,
there was a lot of black people there that day.
And his, you know him, he's like a PhD,
and he was calling them out on shit that they couldn't believe
he knew them better than they know themselves.
Right, right.
And nobody was laughing harder than the black tables.
And that night I go, holy shit.
I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah.
It's the white libs.
Again, it's white people doing it to white people as far as you and I not be able to talk honestly about fucking racism.
Yes.
That has nothing.
I've been, again, I've had a few tables of black people walk out over my 37-year career.
I can count them on one hand.
And again, I always make this point, and I can't count them on my hands and feet the
number of white girls or white people.
Give me the finger on the way out.
And I say, I hope your kids get cancer tonight.
You're torch.
Yes.
Yeah, it is a lot of these white uh liberals they're disgusting white liberal women just make me cringe there's so
many of them online too as you've seen i i do watch a lot of videos uh online uh you know, doing shows like these, you gotta, you gotta keep tabs on what everyone
is doing and you are absolutely right, Nick. White liberals, especially women, are just
annoying pieces of garbage. They can't get their fucking nose out of anything. They have their ridiculously unrealistic
opinions on things.
And they're fucking
dog-ass ugly all the time.
Big fat asses.
They all know.
I know you can smell them a mile away.
And I always say the Janine
Garofalo frame glasses.
And I like Janine. I hate to say it because I
actually like Janine. I like her. People don't believe it, but I do. I don't like her politics. But they always have those glasses and I like Janine. I hate to say it because I actually like Janine. I like her. People don't believe it but I do.
I don't like her politics but they
always have those glasses and horn-rimmed glasses
that purple streak and you can smell them a mile
away and they're not angry at
you, at Republicans, at
righties. They're angry that they
were born ugly as a boot and
they don't fit into fucking mainstream.
This country finds
attractive people, women, you know. They don't fit into fucking mainstream. This country finds attractive people, women, you know.
They don't fit into that.
So they need an army to join.
And there's no shortage of ugly broads.
And then they flock to the other ugly broads.
Next thing you know, you've got the Democrat Party.
They are.
They're pissed.
Their vaginas are fucking angry.
And who are they going to take it out on, you know?
There's such a jealousy and anger in them.
Envy.
And you could see it because everything they try to shut down
are things that they can't do.
They don't know how to be funny.
They don't know what comedy is and how to get a laugh out of it.
No one's ever laughed at anything they've said.
They have to change the entire complexion of modeling from wafey, skinny, beautiful girls like the Victoria's Secret angels to gargantuan monsters that rumble down the modeling runways just because they don't want to see shit that they know they'll never be.
And the skin on him.
Look at this.
Fuck them wrinkles like an old lady's cunt.
Did you hear that?
Let me play this again.
Will Anthony hear that?
I'm not sure.
Can you hear this?
Look at this.
Fuck them wrinkles like an old lady's cunt.
Was Pauly Walnuts going, look at this.
Skin like an old lady's cunt.
Oh, yeah.
I love that scene.
But you're right.
It's just so,
before I even get into Biden
and all that shit,
but it's so refreshing, guys.
And I know if you know me,
you know Anthony,
but if you go to his ex feed,
I could stay up all night
and I go, how the fuck?
And you're just calling it like it is.
And they're using it like a cudgel.
They always have been.
I did a story today.
You probably already covered it.
Seattle is getting rid of the gifted.
You know, they have the program for students who are gifted.
And, of course, most of the students are white and Asian.
And there's only 3% are black.
So they have to scrap the program.
And I go, for you people out there, don't you see what's going on?
It's bigger than that.
That's like Marxism.
It's all intentional, is my point.
They're lowering the standards.
They're turning what made us great
as a society upside down on purpose you're in the middle of a cultural revolution you don't know it
you're watching the news and i go why don't the republicans do this why don't they it's bigger
than that this is a in western culture is all in on it too right uh the diversity, equity, and inclusion thing is one of the worst, most dangerous fucking things to happen in this country ever.
Now, look, I understand if you're a guy and a supermarket just hired you to gather up the shopping carts, hey, have at it.
I don't care what your qualifications are to pushing together those fucking shopping carts.
Diversity, equity, and inclusion all day when it comes to that.
Even maybe making a sandwich at a deli.
You walk out and go, oh, shit, I didn't ask for mustard, and there's mustard all over my sandwich.
Ah, that DEI bullshit.
When you have to turn a wrench at the Boeing plant and make sure the fucking doors stay
on now I want the most qualified person in there and I don't want to go to Boeing's website which
you can do and go to an entire page dedicated to their diversity equity and inclusion and how their goal is to make Boeing a 50% minority and woman company
by 2030 or something.
And what are we seeing?
Accidents, mishaps, and shit literally falling off the planes as they're ramping up this
diversity.
So it's proven that it doesn't work. It's very dangerous. as they're ramping up this diversity.
So it's proven that it doesn't work.
It's very dangerous. And they're not putting the most qualified people in place.
It's already implemented because I'm starting to fly more now, ironically.
Yeah.
And it's already implemented.
The last thing I want to, when I'm boarding a plane,
the last thing I want to is smell skunk weed coming out of the cockpit and hearing a fucking bob marley tune
and the captain coming on yo what's up my niggas we'd be out this bitch
i'll holler back at you on the ground
and uh there is nothing there is nothing more relaxing and satisfying than stepping through that doorway.
And seeing Ted Knight.
I don't care who the fuck you are.
You look left.
You look left.
And when you see those white elbows and that grayish arm hair,
you don't even got to see their face.
Just that elbow and the arm hair is all it takes to go,
whoo, all right, I'm good.
Hey, for those of you guys in Mug Club,
stick around for the second half of the interview with Anthony Comia.
Everyone else, go to nickdip.com.
Join to get my full show, Stephen Crowder's full show,
and a whole lot more.
And while you're there, click on the tool button, whatever.
Tampa,
May 1st and 2nd,
Sidesplitters in Tampa.
May 10th,
two shows at Soul Joel's Comedy Club,
Pottstown, PA.
And of course,
the big one,
May 11th,
at Count Basie Theater on May 11th,
Red Bank, New Jersey.
Hope to see you guys there. I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down
Cause once I get started I go to town
Cause I'm not like everybody else
No, no
I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else
And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else
And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else
And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else
Cause I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else