The Nick DiPaolo Show - Backstabbers Say Bye To Joe | Nick Di Paolo Show #1615
Episode Date: August 20, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the DNC, Musk Vs Brazil, and much more! Support the show and use code NICKDIP to claim a bonus up to $1,000 on your first deposit with ...MyBookie at https://mybookie.website/NICKDIP Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 9/27/24 - Wise Guys - Jordan Landing, UT 9/28/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 9/29/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV TIX: https://www.nickdip.com/tour For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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Music playing My wife trying to wake me in the morning.
Folks how you is?
Hold on a second.
Hello, hello, hello.
I don't know why.
Maybe it's my ears.
This one's coming in much better than that one.
I don't know.
How are you folks on a...
I just think you're old.
Well, that's actually a good point because I do have a damaged left ear, but I'm just
comparing it to yesterday.
And it, sometimes, it happened since we've done this, all of a sudden, a few minutes
into the show, both, it got clear and, I don't know, as long as the people at home can hear
it, fine.
Did I just say fine?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Dallas was old. Anyhow, yeah, I'll be jet setting off tonight to Dallas. Watch me on
Crowder tomorrow night and Thursday night. They're streaming the, what do you call it,
the Handle-Out Abortions and Vasectomies for free? Oh yeah, the DNC. What a fucking death cult of absolute horse shit. I've never seen a
bigger gaslighting. I just I can't even. Joe Rogan was right about one thing. They
they fell in line so quick. As soon as Joe dropped out. When he said they fall
I don't know if he's talking about the voters but he was right about. Obviously
the media has to do their job but everybody else just got in line and they're trying to pull this
wool over our eyes.
You want us to believe that this broad who didn't get a vote during the primaries, only
went to leave fucking Iowa without a fucking anybody voting for her in the
last few years even Democrats they polled every day in the papers whether
it was a left wing or right wing publication that the Dems thought she
was an unserious silly person and then you want us to believe after you force
this guy out at gunpoint is which it's a coup then you want us to believe that
she's ready to fuck
and be the most powerful person in the free world when she's done nothing in
her life never built anything only I don't she's had a real job mommy she's
got her knees yes and she'd think she'd come up with like a new knee pad or something. But
honest to God, how stupid do you think we fucking are? And the sad part is, is
again I don't even, I hate saying this because you guys like, but I don't even
believe these elections, all the polls or everything. It's a nice script everybody's
following. And like I said, they try to kill Trump
They try to jail them you want us to believe they're gonna be on the up and up for this one when they have this douchebag
That nobody's really believing in everything I see on the internet
Is black people going I ain't voting for which is usually we've never had that before
so
Disgusting and then last night I go I'm gonna I can't watch this DNA DNA
convention shit cuz I'm gonna do it on Wednesday and Thursday night I'll just
put it on I put it on late and Biden they put him on they buried him by the
way it's not like a comedy club where your headline you going last they hid
him there are they gave him like a 10-minute standing ovation we love you
we love you these cocksuckers just stabbed him in the back and and and then
you're pretty you are you don't have a fucking honest bone in your bodies then
he's so I said I'm gonna watch a little unless he starts repeating the same
horse shit so I put it on what's what's coming out of his mouth when I put it on he said there are fine people on both sides
That's something that snopes which is a left-wing
fact checker even debunked this year
Who hates Trump and this motherfucker is up there which means they got nothing folks. They got absolutely
Nothing, and then we're gonna show you some clips
Joe then Hillary, that fat pig, they wheel her out.
Can you imagine the hate and the jealousy and the envy?
She's up there and she's having to plug another woman
who could become the first female.
But do you understand?
She must have been bleeding from her big hairy ass.
She must've been, I can't believe she showed up.
But then again, she's a good comrade.
And then AOC, this fucking bitch
who was slinging Margarita six years ago,
we're supposed to believe that she knows better
than a guy who built half the Manhattan skyline
and everybody who believes in him.
Oh, my fucking aching stem. You people are out to lunch and I'm gonna say this I'm worried
for Kamala's safety if she becomes president and I'm not saying that in a
threatening way I'm just saying you can only push people so fucking far. Anyways
let's get to this abortion no pun intended out abortions
and you get like a they give you like a I don't know a trophy abortions and
vasectomies at the convention the people again who don't believe in walls who
have thousands of snowplows blocking with everything you do. Everything you do goes against what you preach.
You're so stupid.
Aye.
Aye, aye.
Anyways, let's get to, finally we can get rid of this putz.
This is his swan song, by the way, Biden.
Um, Oh yeah.
You know, he decided to step down on his own.
He's got gunpowder marks on his fucking temple. So anyways, outside, well this convention's going
on, you know there's a lot of anti-Israeli Jew haters out there protesting and shitting all over.
They're saying we're not shitting all on Kamala individually or Biden like we said yesterday.
It's about them, you know, helping
to commit genocide. You shouldn't rape 1200 people and kill 1200 people and take 200 hostages.
If you don't want somebody to try to commit genocide, it's that easy. I hope they get
every fucking one of yous. Whose one of yous? I don't know. I don't care. But stupid out
here actually sort of gives them a thumbs up, the people outside that are causing the chaos.
So he's dumb right to the right to the bitter end.
We all know Kamala picked Waltz because she couldn't pick a Jew or they would have disowned her.
So she went with, you know, she couldn't go with Shapiro.
She went with Waltz.
But let's listen to stupid and maybe the last time we get
to listen to him. Those protesters out in the street they have a point. It's Jews. A lot of
innocent people are being killed on both sides. Oh both sides. Just we worked around the clock to
bring home wrongfully detained Americans and others from Russia in one of the most complicated swaps in history. Pause. Why was it complicated? Why was that more
complicated than the raid on Entebbe or bringing home that... who was that guy
that wandered off the base? I can't even remember his name. We brought him home.
Why was yours more complicated? You're such a fucking moron. Anyways, go ahead.
But they're home. One thing that he did, and he probably had no way of handling it.
Come on, I'm going to keep working. I mean, all Americans wrong to be defamed around the world. Home.
Run, run, run, run.
Translator, please.
Only president in US history that the American people go, can we get a translator?
A fucking close cat. And I think Kamala likes to hit the sauce there's a
ton of clips of her and people and I think they're dead on she sounds like
she's shit and she I would be too if I was as dumb as her and realize what I'm
facing just the thought of debating a guy who's a you know who's 40 times smart
will be enough to make you hit the fucking cattle one
Didn't we hear that she had a lot of wine before her democrat debate?
Some years ago. I don't know. Did we I heard she whined a lot before the debate
You might be you might be right
Uh, and then you know just to remind the democrats
Let's wheel out the fucking two-time loser,
thick-ankled dog, this must have eaten her alive
to have to go out there and talk nicely
about a woman who might achieve her fucking wet dreams
since she was five.
It's gotta be killing her!
Oh, bring out Goutfoot.
We also know as vice president Kamala sat in
the situation room and stood for America's values you can hear I know
what I really into it I can tell you like a jerk-off name as commander and
chief your car face I don't know I won I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you.
I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you. our legs and everybody's laughing in one of the most embarrassing in the history of the fucking
planet for america wasn't she the vice president of the guy who looked at his watch when they were
taking caskets off the fucking remember that literally looking at his watch shut the fuck up
go find the muffin diving it i'm sean hannity good night
I'm Sean Hannity. Good night. Does she say anymore?
What a beautiful voice.
What the hell was that?
She reveres our Medal of Honor recipients.
There's a civilian equivalent to that.
I forget what they called it.
And Trump was saying it's way better than the Medal of Freedom.
And he's gone, it's way better, the civilian one.
But no, but what he meant was, because you're alive.
He was not shitting on the military one.
What's it called, the military one? What's the Medal of Honor?
Medal. You can still get it while you're alive, not just dead. Okay, well, they took him totally.
I knew exactly what he was saying. And then I went online and a lot of people saw it my way too.
It wasn't shitting on the civilian one. I mean, on the military one.
military one. Finally they brought on the the hostess from Applebee's in the Bronx, a waste of tits and giant horse teeth I call her, and in her voice
somebody did a somebody did a meme with her growing fangs and shit while she was
giving the speech. Have you guys noticed, I guess since Elon Musk
took over that X or Twitter is like all right wing now? It seems that way. Now let's listen
to this shrill woman again who has done nothing in her life. I think she went from a waitress
to government. Hasn't raised kids. Nick, you haven't't either I'm not out there bragging
that I'm the fucking superstar never built anything in her fucking life
although she did put she did put you know what olives on a toothpick and put
a lot umbrella in there let's listen to ways to titties
Let's listen to Wasted Titties. And I, for one, am tired of hearing about how a too big union buster thinks of himself
as more of a patriot than the woman who fights every single day to lift working people out
from under the boots of greed, tripping on our way of life.
Look at her!
And look at this fucking homo. Look at her. Look at her.
And look at this fucking homo.
You cannot love this country if you only fight for the wealthy and big business.
All right, shut the fuck up. You got about nine, she got about nine things fucking wrong there.
Right. Kamala respects the military
more than Trump, who rebuilt it, put billions
of dollars towards it, and rebuilt it and it was better than it ever was.
And you guys come in and do what you're fucking. What are you talking about?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, she's a real patriot. And Trump built half the New York City skyline.
But you guys are going to look at us and go, no, she's more qualified.
Who's living in the fucking realm?
I can't even keep it straight anymore.
My hate runneth over.
My hate cup runneth over.
Did she have any more to say?
Good!
May she find the lump in her armpit the size of a fucking eggplant tonight.
What?
I'm only teasing.
Kinda.
Run, Hurley.
Run, Crunk Sugar.
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sponsoring the show today. Let's move on to somebody who knows how to build shit
who's very smart, would make a great president or a vice president or
anything. He's talking about working under Trump's government as the guy
who's gonna cut wasteful spending
and he said he'd love to do it. He said it right on his own platform there and he would
be the best at it. So that wouldn't surprise him. You know him, he'd do it for nothing.
I think he can afford it. Anyways, Musk mashes mores. last night alexander and they more is threatened our legal representative in
brazil
with the rest this is him talking
him
this is must talking about
what's going on with twitter in brazil threatened our legal representative in
brazil
with arrest if we do not comply with his censorship orders he did so in a secret order which
we share here to expose his actions he doesn't look like a bad guy does he right
out of a Bond film despite our numerous appeals to the Supreme Court not being
heard the Brazilian public not being informed about these orders and our
Brazilian staff having no responsibility or control over whether content is blocked on our platform.
Moraes has chosen to threaten our staff in Brazil rather than respect the law or a due
process.
As a result, to protect the safety of our staff, we have made the decision to close
our operation in Brazil.
Effective immediately, the ex-service remains available to people of Brazil.
We are deeply saddened that this bald-headed twat forced us to make this decision.
The responsibility lies solely with Alexander de Mores.
His actions are incompatible with democratic government.
Seems like everybody's are. Except Trump and people on the right.
The people of Brazil have a choice to make. They're going to eat cat or raccoon balls tonight.
They have a choice to make. Democracy or Alexander de Ms is what musk ended with sir look at this
He's smiling like this is my sixth round of chemo and I'm still here look at that shitty and grin oh
my god
Yeah freedom of speech it's what separates us from
shitholes like that. You understand? And there's people
on the left like AOC and all those other people that would
fall, they've been censoring conservatives, whether it was
COVID-19, whatever, literally shutting us down, hiding on
one to hunt his laptop story. Just tremendous.
And it's what you, the Democrats, it's what you want.
And I say, I'll say it again, most of the country
thinks like we do.
They've created an illusion in the media, which
is very easy to do.
When you have the propaganda arm of a Democrat party,
and you have every TV station whatever and had 95 percent
of it locked up and they have the nerve to bring up the conservative media which is Fox
which isn't even close to being conservative.
You guys don't know what conservative is.
It's like racism.
The definition of racism has so broadened.
You guys forget what real race is doing shit it's fucking insane so
yeah so you got to love must said fuck you we're rolling up a rolling up the
carpet and shutting the door there he's giving me the creeps I saw a guy looking
to my bedroom window one night with that same face
Luckily I was in my onesie
He didn't see nothing Hey guys for those of you on mug club stick around the second half of my show
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dates button at the top September 27th coming up quick wise guys Jordan landing Utah the
next two nights I'll be in Vegas with a lot of my buddies from New York.
Skankfest, which has become a huge thing.
September 28 and 29 in Las Vegas.
Be there or be a queer.
Second half of the show I'm going to tell you about what a liberal judge did in New
York which usually there's so much of it I don't report on it but this
one was just so egregious and blatant I had to put it in the stories today I'll
tell you what he did it's still shocking also a CEO of a kind of a government
accountability company they they they you know he's the CEO of this company
would fall the government make sure your tax money was being spent and showing you what they were doing wrong.
Well, he mysteriously died.
So hmm, makes you wonder, don't it?
We'll get into little details about that.
Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall Wow, wow Thanks for watching!