The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bernie Has DEMS Seeing "RED" | Nick Di Paolo Show #305
Episode Date: February 25, 2020Harvey Weinstein Guilty. Buttigieg encouraging to closeted kids. Flat earther, flattened. Thank you Norcio for asking a Patreon Question and being a Patreon subscriber. MONDAY - THURSDAY 9PM EST #Trum...p #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir
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Now I'm just gonna tell you motherfucking niggas straight out the dump.
Don't fuck with my motherfucking president.
Do you understand me?
Nigga, we ride with Donald Trump over here, nigga.
Draco, we ain't playing with you motherfucking niggas.
You understand me?
Keep my motherfucking president name out your mouth.
Fuck, niggas.
Any motherfucking nigga, white, black, Chinese,
Mexican, if you want to build that wall, let them build it. You motherfucking niggas out
there thinking it's a game. I'm going to go to war behind Donald Trump. That's right.
Do you understand me? We're going to go to motherfucking war, Trump. You got some motherfucking soldiers, boy, right here on your side, boy.
Right here.
We coming.
Draco.
Talking about we going.
What that little nigga down there in Baton Rouge's name?
Nigga, keep my motherfucking president out of your motherfucking mouth, nigga.
Talking about you got a hundred on the drum. We'll be right back. As you know, folks, this show's been free on Monday on YouTube.
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Great weekend. I was at Mohegan Sun in free. Great weekend.
I was at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut.
Interesting weekend.
Like I said, most of the shows are sold out,
and the Thursday show, which is the smallest one,
was close to sold out, and I had a great time.
How good a time did I have at the gig at Comics Roadhouse? I did mushrooms after the Friday night show
with the opening act, My boy Mike Feeney
from Long Island. These Long Island kids fucking get you into anything. After the Friday night,
oh my god, I don't know what I'm doing. I never took mushroom. Guys, you know I'm not a drug guy.
In the 80s, I did a little coke like everybody else. I mean, my grandmother was doing bumps in the bathroom on her 80th birthday.
But, you know, so he talked me into it.
I don't know why.
I had a couple drinks.
I'm like, yeah, fuck it.
He puts them on a goddamn, first of all, he puts them on like a granola bar,
which had me cracking up because I guess they taste bad.
I mean, come on, they're growing cow shit, so they must taste kind of bad.
But I'll eat anything.
So I took those fuckers.
I'm waiting for them to kick in for a while he was worried that I'm so that I'm such a uh dour person and dark
and angry that they wouldn't even have an effect on me but he his kicked in mighty quickly because
he weighs about 140 pounds I'm about 212 and uh sure enough after about an hour I'm going
started to look at the paneling and it looked like it was moving a little bit.
And it was a nice euphoric buzz.
I know there's a ton of people watching who have done these a million times.
And I was afraid I was going to throw up, but it was nothing like that.
I got a nice euphoric buzz.
And then I started giggling like a fifth-year fucking fifth-grade girl at everything.
Belly lapping i
had him shitting his pants he had napkins he kept wiping his eyes at the end of the night he had a
pile of torn up napkins we went to a and i'm like this isn't that bad and then we started to wander
around the casino looking up at the planetarium sailing and shit and that's when started i started
staring at a slot machine it was a jur Park slot. And I could have sworn the dinosaurs were kind of staring at me
and moving towards me a little.
And that's when I started to get a little fucking nervous.
So let's go somewhere else.
And then I couldn't feel my legs.
I felt like I rented somebody else's legs.
He said the same thing.
They didn't feel like my legs.
It was fucking weird.
No joint pain, no hip pain.
I think I found something here.
But it was funny, I told my wife I did.
She, you did what?
You heard me, bitch.
Shrooms.
But Christ's sake, you're a 58-year-old man.
Exactly.
It's on my bucket list and I'd do it again.
So big props to Mike Feeney for talking 58-year-old man into doing mushrooms for the first time.
Great gig. I'm telling all my comedian friends, Mohegan Sun is a great gig.
They have live band out front and dancers and all kinds of... It was one of my best fucking weekends.
We had one little incident at the show.
Some lady gets a puss on
her face in the third row. I'm not on stage for three minutes. I make fun of Hillary Clinton. She
starts giving me the finger like, this is what they do, the lefties. Just ball of sacks of shit.
And I'm like, what is your problem, you know? And she says to me, the first guy was funnier. And I
go, your husband's hotter than you are.'s your fucking point and then it gets a little
ugly and he's laughing at that point but then I bring up Pete Buttigieg and I start making gay
jokes and then this fuck I see the husband giving me the finger so eventually like true lefties who
can't laugh at anybody who thinks differently they got up and left about halfway through the show
and the guy on the way out goes I served in the military for 18 years with gay
guys. Well, good. I'm not anti-gay soldier. That's not the frigging point. I was making jokes about
Buttigieg, and I wanted to say to him, which I didn't because I just wanted him out of the room,
but I should have said, so you were in the military, and what was your mission in the
military? To defend our values, right, as Americans, basically, like freedom of speech.
You're a soldier, and you're this thin-skinned?
Not everybody that goes into the military is a great guy, by the way.
You're that thin-skinned that you can't sit through a comedy act.
I had plenty of people after the show coming up to me going,
you know what, I vote Democrat all the time.
I think you're the funniest fucking guy alive.
And I go, thank you.
Just like I can laugh at Jon Stewart and Al Franken and Bill Maher.
Funny as fucking funny.
But it really kind of bummed me out. A soldier.
Those are my people.
Nine out of ten military people
love the show. But you're
a soldier. You're defending my right
to free speech.
And then somebody said the wife
was crying after. What are you, fucking
dog-styring me?
I'm making you cry at a comedy club?
Fucking, ooh, intolerant.
And the other interesting thing, oh, by the way, Pepe's Pizza. I know you guys, if you're from the East Coast and you've been to Connecticut,
Frank Pepe's, like, the best pizza.
It was voted best pizza in America.
I went there after having mushrooms.
First time I got a pizza with no mushrooms on it.
Said, look, I've had enough.
Okay.
Mike Feeney, I look over, he's just tearing his pieces up.
Like, I go, what are you doing?
You tearing up tissues and fucking pizza?
I'm eating the crust, he drops it on the floor.
I'm fucking, ate a whole pizza, clam pizza myself.
We have a picture ate a whole pizza, clam pizza myself. We have a picture on mushroom pizza.
Yes.
Uh, the mushrooms, like I said, they didn't bother me that much until I went
and looked at the Jurassic park thing and that started, and then when I went back
to my room by myself to the hotel, they kicked in a little more than I want to
admit, I lost a lot of weight doing my job.
That's Pepe's tomato sauce all over my tits and neck.
I also had a tomato pie for myself.
What a weird weekend, man.
And the other thing is, folks, I usually get right into the stories at the top of the show,
but so much happened.
And look at me.
I look like I fucking put on 10 pounds, eating and drinking like I was in high school,
doing shots of fireball.
What am I, six?
Jesus.
The other thing is, I go to Logan Airport to fly home.
I look out the window, and this is what I see.
I'm like, what the fuck?
And I'm going, oh, no, Tom Brady might be getting on that.
I hope the fuck not.
It's a fucking Jets plane doing it, Logan.
And it turns out that's the plane I got on.
That was our plane home.
Back to Georgia from Boston.
It was the Jets plane.
I guess they, you know, rented from JetBlue or
whatever the fuck. So I said to the flight attendant, how dare you, bitch? This is Boston.
She goes, I know. She had the heaviest Boston accent. I told him this is going to be a fucking
bummer. That's what she said. She was great. She was on the thing being funny and she was genuinely
funny. This older woman, she's an undercover cop or some shit. I don't know. Anyway, it was such a weird
weekend. And the other great thing about this weekend,
I said to the owners after on Saturday
night, any chance you can get
the fucking Fury fight?
You know, Wilder versus Fury, the rematch?
He goes, yeah, I think we can switch. They did
everything I asked for. It's
fucking hilarious. So we go in
the comedy room. It's 200 and what? 60, 80
seats or whatever? It's me and 10 guys. The screen comes down. A giant like a movie screen. And we go in the comedy room. It's 200 and what, 60, 80 seats or whatever. It's me and
10 guys. The screen comes down, a giant, like a movie screen. And we watched the fight for nothing,
which was great, by the way. Of course, the crazy white man won. Let's be honest. That's why we were
all watching it. Yeah, Deontay Wilder, who's a bad, he's a bad man too, but so is this fucking,
a little white, a little white hope. I mean, I'm sure we'll forget about this guy in a year or two,
but he gave him a beating.
He hit him, he fucking hit him so hard he's bleeding from his eardrum.
So his equilibrium was off, like in the third round,
and this guy just started pounding on him.
And his manager threw him the towel, and that's supposedly controversial,
but I think they did the right thing.
They'll fight again.
Crack went up for the cracker.
I don't know what.
He's the gypsy, whatever the fuck.
Nick, why is that important?
Because I said to the guys in the room, I was watching with, like, an Iranian kid, an Italian guy.
I go, come on, let's be honest.
That's why we're watching.
They were all young looking at me.
You're crazy, man.
Anyways, breaking news, more breaking news.
Weinstein found guilty, ladies and gentlemen,
according to the Washington Post, he just found guilty a little while ago on two of
several charges.
You're raping me! This is rape! This is rape! This is rape!
Oh, look at him. He looks like a clean-cut businessman. Guy never fucking shaves.
Found guilty of sexual assault.
Is that the same as rape in a New York court?
I have to know.
I have a case coming up pending in the Funny Bone in Atlanta 41 years ago. a sex act on a former production assistant, Mimi Haley, at his apartment in July of 2006
and raped former aspiring actress Jessica Mann
at a hotel in 2013.
I sort of disagree with that one.
You're raping me.
She's the one.
You're being raped.
She's the one who, you know,
we have texts of her staying in contact
and having a relationship with him after.
Everything I read about Jessica Mann was not good.
That's in my opinion.
I don't know the fucking law.
Who am I, Judge Judy?
I'm a little bitch.
Anyways, yeah, so he was found not guilty of the most severe charge,
predatory sexual assault, which sounds just like what he did to me,
which would have acknowledged a pattern that included forcing sex
on actress Annabella Sciorra in
1993 and 94 and that one I thought he would have definitely found good, would have carried
a sentence of 10 years to life in prison.
The top conviction count could yield up to 25 years in prison.
Bye bye. up to 25 years in prison. Bye-bye. So after the verdict announcement, Weinstein was handcuffed and put in jail,
and his bail was revoked.
The verdict sends a powerful message of just how much progress has been made
since Weinstein's accusers came forward,
said a statement from some angry lesbians.
No, from Time's Up, an organization advocating for harassment-free workplaces,
this trial and the jury's decision today marks a new era of justice,
not just for the silence breakers who spoke out a great personal risk,
but for all survivors of harassment.
And look, it is a good thing.
Women shouldn't be, you know, there shouldn't be a shakedown at work.
You know, you want a promotion, blow me.
That shit's been going on for way too long, all that filth.
But I don't see why you can't pat a girl on the ass in the coffee room. I
Mean come on Patrice O'Neill was a big fan of that shit
Weinstein's also facing separate charges in Los Angeles prosecutors in the New York trial argue Weinstein's accusers felt overpowered
professionally and physically by the fat buck
That's what it says his status in Hollywood and his 300-pound frame.
He is a creepy-looking dude.
There was some damaging footage you guys haven't seen
that we found of one of his victims.
This is Harvey.
He was very horny that night.
He was a creep.
Oh, for the love of God.
You want that part?
You want that part in the movie?
Huh?
You want to meet Brad Pitt?
All right, kill it.
I give you a time code.
Kill it.
What are you doing, Raz?
I take time to break these down.
That was actually good you played that.
He was going after her tits.
That was very...
Oh, so Harvey, I don't know, man.
How about the bail thing? Did they do... This was in New York, right? Don't you get... Oh, that Harvey, I don't know, man. How about the bail thing?
Did they do, this was in New York, right?
Don't you get, oh, that's right, non-felon things.
If he was a young black kid who was just caught, like, you know, whatever,
bitch-slapping a white girl at Arby's,
he could put out $2,500 in bail and walk right back out.
Or a white guy slapping a black girl.
I'm sure that happened once.
It's just jokes, folks.
Relax.
Relax your dirty asses.
Donald Trump was in India with Melania, right?
He goes to the Taj Mahal.
He had a hotel called the Taj Mahal, I think, in Atlantic City.
Anyways, listen to this. He gets the
rock star's reception of 110,000. 110,000 fans. That's India, though. There's 6 trillion
people. That's like having 150 at a rally in the United States. 110,000. That's pretty
goddamn good, isn't it? I am your voice.
No, no you don't.
No, you don't, my voice.
Then he went into Lolita.
People were wearing masks of Trump and Indian Prime Minister Modi.
They were at a packed stadium.
110 large, man.
That's some serious shit.
He opened, what did it say?
Oh, he was at the Sardar Patel Stadium.
I'll be playing that in November, I think.
We're going to block off 290,000 seats, so we have about 150.
How about this?
It was called the Namaste Trump fucking speech.
Trump opened his speech by declaring America's love
for India. Well, naturally, what's he going to come out? You know, you people don't shower.
Your food gives us the shits. We got a long way to go. Of course he fucking, he's a salesman.
Just like anybody else. Let's show Trump rocking it out here.
And I am pleased to announce that tomorrow our representatives will sign deals to sell over $3 billion in the absolute finest state-of-the-art military helicopters and other equipment to the Indian Armed Forces.
But you don't have opening?
No.
But why not?
You hear all the Indians cheering, all that military equipment.
They're like, you hear that, Pakistan?
You still want to fuck with us when it comes to Kashmir?
I want to hear that guy again.
But you don't have opening?
No.
But why not?
He wants to work for Trump.
So he starts blowing India and says, a timeless testament to the rich and diverse beauty of
the Indian culture.
Thank you, India.
You know, if we didn't have them, we'd have no Uber, no cabs in New York, no nothing.
We'd be hitchhiking.
The world's largest cricket stadium is where he was.
Gave Trump the biggest crowd of his political career.
In front of the stadium, Trump declared that he had flown 8,000 miles to deliver
the message that America loves and respects India, and that the U.S.
would always be faithful and loyal friends. And Melania started giggling when he said
faithful. What? Today I say to every
Indian, north and south, take pride in the glory of your
past. Please
remember to use deodorant when it gets over 90.
We unite
for an even brighter future and let our two
nations always stand together
as powerful defenders of peace, liberty
and spicy
food. Thank you very much.
Now let's go get the shits together.
My lord.
Yeah.
Chris Matthews.
Chris Matthews.
Speaking of pale face, I don't like Chris Matthews.
He's MSNBC big mouth left-leaning.
He was actually a cop back in the day, I believe.
I don't know how he turned so far left.
left-leaning. He was actually a cop back in the day, I believe. I don't know how he turned so far left. He's the one who got a tingle up his, a tingle up his leg when he heard Obama's speech
for the first time, remember? And I guess his pussy got all steamy and whatnot. But he's catching
a bunch of shit. Chris Matthews faces calls for resignation after comparing Bernie Sanders' victory to a Nazi invasion.
Yes, after a decisive win by Bernie in Nevada.
By the way, he's smoking.
He is smoking the field.
They are nervous, the Dems.
This is so much fun, folks.
I love it. It's like sports to me.
It is so much fun, folks. I love, it's like sports to me. It is so much fun. We got a red fucking socialist, uh, Bernie, who I said I hate his politics, but I love him because he's an
authentic curmudgeon. He doesn't try to hide how much he detests capitalism and everything it
stands for, except for his three houses in Vermont and whatnot. I'm not going to lie, motherfucker. Anyways, yes.
Chris Matthews under fire after comparing Bernie's decisive win to the Nazi invasion of France in 1940
with some on social media calling for the hardball host to resign.
Oh, I see.
I see how it works.
We can call Trump a Nazi and everything else the fucking devil.
how it works. We can call Trump a Nazi and everything else the fucking devil, but when Bernie starts to get it, people want the, you know, Chris Matthews. Here's some footage of,
I think, Bernie, right? Oh, this is Chris Matthews saying what he said to get in so much trouble.
Changes. I was reading last night, Brian, I know you're a history guy too. I'm reading last night
about the fall of France in the summer of 1940.
And the general calls up Churchill and says, it's over.
And Churchill said, how can it be?
You've got the greatest army in Europe.
How can it be over?
He said, it's over.
So I had that suppressed feeling.
I can't be as wild as Carville, but he is damn smart.
And I think he's damn right.
Yeah, shut up.
But I hate to defend Chris Matthews on this one.
He wasn't saying that Bernie and the Bernie brothers and his following are Nazis.
He was saying it was over.
It was such a decisive victory.
But you know where he made his big mistake?
Bernie is Jewish.
He lost family members in the Holocaust.
So, you know, to bring up the Nazis was a little disfaith.
But he wasn't calling Bernie a Nazi or his followers Nazis.
He just used the Churchill saying it's, you know.
And when did France have the best army in Europe?
I must have missed that fucking day in history class.
What are you fucking kidding me?
They bowed down to anybody who walked in there.
I could have taken over the fucking France in the 40s.
Didn't we save their ass?
What am I?
Anyways, so I? Anyways,
so I sort of,
I'm sort of defending Matthews here.
I don't think he was calling
Bernie or all his supporters Nazis.
He was just saying
it was such a one-sided victory
that it's over.
But again,
the Jewish Holocaust thing
came back to,
how does it feel
to be called a Nazi, Chris?
You and your friends
at MSNBC
have been calling Trump that on a loop.
How's that feel?
So take it in the eyes.
So what can we say about Chris Matthews?
Hates Jews.
Hates Jews.
Anyways, one such response came from Mike Kaska,
who serves as Sanders 2020 communications director.
Listen to this, what he did, though, in Nevada.
Sanders won, it's called the Silver State.
What are you fucking?
47% of the vote.
That was with 50% of the precincts reporting.
Biden came up with 19.2. Joe, just fucking sit down, fella. And who else? Oh,
little Pete, Mayor Pete, came up with 15.3%. Bernie is on a roll, and the establishment,
the Democratic establishment, is shitting their pants. They got a socialist. He's kicking ass. And they said
he won pretty big in Nevada because of a lot of
Latinos. They probably, you know,
unions and whatnot. But I
thought the unions were against Bernie because he's going to take away
their health care, whatever. But there's a lot of
Latinos in the service industry and,
you know, obviously they'd favor him
over Trump.
So that's very interesting.
I just love that Biden is shit in the bed.
He's such a fucking dope.
But Bernie is on a roll.
You know.
But I don't believe Chris Matthews is a fucking calling people.
He was.
That's what.
Go ahead.
What do you think?
Gabbard is doing so bad.
Who?
Gabbard.
Tulsi Gabbard.
Well, she's not even qualifying for these
debates. Because she's
military and not a militant
far left. The party's
moved so far left. But yeah,
you and I want her to see Tulsi in there because
she's a thick broad.
She kicks boxes. I know.
Raz loves her. She's a
nice slice of pineapple. Nice piece of
poi. But she's
very liberal. That's how far left the party
is, the Democrats are. She's
considered like a fucking right winger
because she was in the military and whatnot.
But she's very, you look at her voting
record, she's as liberal as anybody.
But she can't qualify.
She doesn't have the fucking dough.
They rather have Bloomberg in there?
Oh my goodness.
But Bernie, so he's been in the news all weekend, Bernie, because of his big victory.
And then the reaction from, you know, he was on 60 Minutes Sunday night.
Yes.
In a 60-minute interview that aired Sunday, Vermont Senator Sanders doubled down on comments he made in the 1980s
where he praised a late Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro.
When asked about his current stance on Castro,
the Democratic frontrunner said he continues supporting aspects of his totalitarian regime.
Here's a little video.
And everybody was totally convinced.
Yeah, let me set it up, killer.
Raz has to make a phone call at 2 o'clock.
He's working at lightning speed.
What is this phone call about, Raz?
Is it your buddies you're going camping with this weekend?
Get this.
Raz is black, and his black buddies and him are going camping,
which is an outrage.
That's a white people sport.
I'm kidding.
And they bring in moonshine.
They make their own moonshine.
This is why I love Georgia.
He's a black guy going camping, drinking moonshine.
I'm a 58-year-old Italian guy taking mushrooms.
This show's a fucking mess.
You better take some footage of that shit.
You have to.
It's going to be hilarious.
And I want you to take some of them
when white campers come upon you guys. And they say some racist shit like they're probably hiding
a body. But first of all, let me say this. Here's Bernie years ago, you know, talking about
socialism and whatnot, fucking Fidel. And then it cuts to him speaking. Good. Here you go.
Explaining why the Cuban people didn't rise up
and help the U.S. overthrow Cuban leader Fidel Castro.
He educated the kids, gave them health care,
totally transformed the society.
We're very opposed to the authoritarian nature of Cuba,
but you know, it's unfair to simply say everything is bad.
You know, when Fidel Castro came into office,
you know what he did?
He had a massive literacy program.
Is that a bad thing? Even though Fidel Castro did it?
There's a lot of dissidents imprisoned in Canada.
That's right, and we condemn that.
Unlike Donald Trump, let's be clear,
I do not think that Kim Jong-un is a good friend.
I don't trade love letters with a murdering dictator.
Vladimir Putin, not a good friend of mine.
Or Trump, you stupid.
Who said that?
Who the fuck said that?
Fucking idiot.
Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here
who just signed his own death warrant?
Oh, fucking idiot.
Yeah, Trump's not as tough on Putin as anybody, you dope.
Stop with that.
I want to like him, and then he loses me.
I mean, his politics are ridiculous.
But do you know why, do you know why Castro had a whole reading program
and literacy went up on them?
First of all, they were 80% literate.
That's literate.
Good.
They were pretty well educated.
But that's how you brainwash the masses and indoctrinate them,
under the guise of a literacy program.
What do you think?
Look what's going on in college campuses.
Bernie could be the president or the dean of any college he wants today.
But that's what that was about.
They weren't illiterate in Cuba, you know.
Latin America, different story.
But, oh, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie. Come he, he honeymooned in the Soviet Union, we show
those clips, he's drinking with, kind of makes me like him, because he was pounding the vodka and
shit, but America's not ready for that, I'm sorry, you Dems out there that don't watch your show,
but you're gonna be exposed to it now, because we're going large, he's gonna get stomped,
exposed to it now because we're going large.
He's going to get stomped.
I want him to be the nominee just so we can put an end to this socialist wet dream you guys have been having.
Just point to somewhere else where it's worked even a little.
And then Bernie will say, well, we have it now.
I mean, Medicaid, that's socialism.
Yeah, fucking two programs.
I like billionaires.
I want to be a billionaire myself. I want to be top 1%
that gets all the pussy, all the tax breaks. He's got a lot of spunk, I have to say that.
According to UNESCO, Cuba had about the same literacy rate as Costa Rica and Chile in 1950, close to 80%.
And it has almost the same literacy rate as they do today, which is close to 100%.
But the point was that Fidel was doing it, and while he was doing it, he was imprisoning people,
killing people with differences of opinion, locking up political prisoners.
Anyways.
Killing people with differences of opinion, locking up political prisoners.
Anyways.
1986, former Cuban political prisoner Armando Valadares was asked at a Harvard forum about Cuba's literacy rate and other supposed accomplishments of the island's communist revolution.
He says, say all those things are true.
They're not, but just say they are.
He goes, can't you have those things, you know, people reading at a high level,
without torturing people, without imprisoning people, without terrifying them?
And this guy was an actual prisoner.
Who said that?
Who the fuck said that?
I don't know, some guy that was a prisoner.
You are correct, sir.
Anyhow, I love it.
Bernie, he's lapping the field.
Buttigieg is shrinking like the little guy that he is.
Liz Warren, I think I saw her up at the casinos, by the way,
fixing one of the slot machines.
That's the first thing I said when I got on stage.
I go, this is an Indian casino.
Did I see Liz Warren
doing some grout work on the ladies room?
They're family owners, right?
People were crying.
I go, why would you gamble
in a casino owned by Indians?
I think they still have a chip on their shoulder
when we sold fucking Manhattan for a dollar.
Remember?
They're a little pissed.
You know how they're making that money back up?
By charging me 40 bucks for a Twix bar, the fucking minibar.
I had chocolate-covered almonds, $17.
I thought I would coke my stomach after those mushrooms.
This is no accident, man.
I fucking ate pizza every fucking three nights.
I drank like I was a high school senior.
Heading right to the gym after. Holy shit.
I swear on my mother's eyes
that I'll never do mushrooms again
unless the Jurassic Park is hit on.
Mike Feeney must be laughing. Wait till my friends hear that.
They're pretty good, I gotta admit, Raz.
I think I may bring some in for you.
This is Georgia.
There's cow shit everywhere.
I'll just dig them up myself.
Take them on your trip.
Mix that with some moonshine.
See what you look like.
I'm supposed to pound this, too, according to my manager.
Don't forget my tour dates at nickdip.com.
They're updated constantly.
Ticket links are there.
And again, I want to thank you guys for supporting the show so we can get to this level
where I can give this show away, starting today,
four days a week, on YouTube, iTunes,
Stitches, SoundCloud.
It could only happen with your support.
I'm serious. And I'm getting more
excited when I do these live gigs
and see how many people come up
to me and say they love the show. Don't forget, if you stay on Patreon or if you sign up at Patreon, we're
still leaving it in place, you get an encore presentation. That means an extra story that
nobody else is going to get. You can ask me questions. These are exclusive to Patreon
people. 300-plus episodes that we've already archived. But the best way to support is monthly
donations. Best way to support
monthly donation. What's he talking about? Yeah, that's how Patreon works. One-time contribution,
you go to nickdip.com, click on contact, and you'll get your name right on the show. If
you donate at nickdip.com, you get your name right on the show. Also, if you want to sponsor the show,
if you've got a business out there,
we have Blue Chew and a couple others right now.
But if you want to help sponsor the show,
you know, you can contact us.
Send me a message at nickdip.com
and we can work together
and get the show out to people who enjoy free speech.
I'll keep telling it like
it is. You know how it is.
You guys have been thinking it. I've been saying it
for a long time.
It's aging me. I'm only 31.
Look at me.
Speaking of Patreon,
do you want to read a question right now?
Well, do I got any choice, motherfuckers?
Yeah, I do.
Weinstein guilty.
He didn't do anything.
This is a clean-cut guy.
What are you doing?
Yeah, sure.
Question from a Patreon.
Jesus Christ.
Any American fans?
Norcio.
Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
Man, fuck you and your bones.
I wish I knew I would have.
I wish I knew you were coming, Norcio.
Man, fuck you and your bones, Murr.
That's a sound drop that I play on here.
And let me find it.
Oh, we should.
Raz, now, you got to be a producer, man.
You should have pulled up the guy that says that.
I know you get a lot of your minds.
A big day.
Holy shit, you got it.
Man, fuck you
and your bone spurs.
That is the happiest
black guy I met
this weekend
at the casinos.
Black people,
I tell you,
when you walk
to the casino,
I mean,
why do you look like
you just came from
playing a fucking
game of horse?
You got your fucking
Knicks shirt on.
This is the guy who won five grand at this lot.
Oh, I got into it with some fucking drunken asshole.
First day I get there, right?
I get in the elevator.
He's with some buddies.
He's already fucked up.
He's got a beard, giant watch, gold chain.
Starts, yeah, I have like an asshole magnet in me. Starts
fucking chatting away, and I'm just
tolerating him. Next night,
end of the night,
right? Go to the elevator
bank. Who's waiting for me?
And he's all fucked up. And he starts
arguing with me about my Rolex.
Drunken assholes are just attracted
to me, you know.
Hey, I like your, yeah, mine's much, I got a better one than that though.
I go, yeah, yeah, whatever the fuck.
And no, man, look at it, you got that little book.
I go, it was a gift from Chris Roy.
Yeah, it was a gift.
He goes, look at mine, look at the size of it. I go, yeah, yours is as big as I don't sell drugs for a living.
And then he went, dude, what the fuck does that mean?
I hate people.
There's no worse combination than politically correct and drunk.
How can you be a drunken asshole and politically correct?
How could you say that, man?
That's disrespectful.
Well, you dress like you fucking, you know, you dress like you're an NBA all-star.
What are you fucking giant gold?
That's from selling real estate in Connecticut.
And I go, yeah, this was a gift from Chris Rock.
And he goes, yeah, and I sell houses to Chris Rock.
That was his argument.
It started getting a little tense.
I have very low tolerance.
I'm fucking 58, but don't give me a fucking reason
to headbutt you in the fucking elevator.
I was so hoping I was going to run into this guy by himself.
I was just going to snatch the chain off his neck and run.
Not even, just grab it and run. Not even just
grab it and ping. Dress like a drug dealer. I go, that's what you put all your hard-earned
money into? A giant watch? Fucking Flavor Flav wannabe? That's who goes to the casinos.
A lot of people with limps and oxygen tanks. See a guy like 90 years
old in a members-only jacket,
like an oxygen tank, dirty running shoes.
What makes
him think he's going to be lucky tonight?
Guy's been unlucky for 78
years. And I said, the only
luck that a guy could experience is if somebody stood
on that air hose to his tank.
They found him dead in front
of the Wheel of Fortune machine.
Great weekend, though.
Must have put on six pounds.
Let's talk about
Bloomberg facing criticism for what I
say is the best political
ad I have ever seen. We know he got
raped, like I predicted,
in the debates, right? All those people on
stage have been debating each
other for the last year or so. And, you know, fucking Bloomberg wanders in there, no chops
whatsoever debating. And we all agree that he got raped badly by everybody. Liz Warren came out with
a hatchet in the tomahawk in the first 30 seconds, opened his head like a right melon. But he did
have one good thing in the debate
where he said, I think I'm the only one
who started a business up here, right?
That was his only good moment.
So what they did was they made an ad out of it.
And I don't know who did it,
but it was so well done that I actually giggled watching this.
You'd think he'd won the debate watching this commercial.
I'm the only one here that I think
has ever started a business is that fair Look at dummy.
Okay.
Okay.
I showed those bitches.
I showed those motherfuckers, didn't I?
Now, this has become controversial, this ad.
Why?
Because of the new rules they're putting out on social media, Facebook and stuff.
You can't put stuff up.
The people who are anti-Bloomberg are saying that's manipulated. It's misinformation. They have all these categories
now. OK, and that was so well done. And if you can't tell that was tongue in cheek and
satire, you're what you are as a Democrat with no sense of humor like the people that
walked out of me. Bloomberg's Twitter account posted the video,
which shows the former New York mayor and businessman
posing the question on stage in Vegas.
Multiple Twitter users pointed out that the clip was edited
to appear roughly 20 seconds longer than during the actual debate.
Yeah, no kidding.
You need to shut the fuck up steph feldman policy director
for the biden campaign wrote that the edited video was truly horrifying oh my god like a bitch
and then andam geber gorious a congressional candidate running in new york 16 district
called it propaganda. You fucking humorless.
Really?
That's going to sway somebody and how they've,
if you're that dumb,
you're admitting you have
the dumbest followers.
Some wrote that the clip
could be misleading those
who didn't watch the debate live.
Finally, Bloomberg's press secretary,
Galia Slayen, said,
it's tongue in cheek.
It's tongue in cheek. Like Buttigieg on a date.
Tongue in cheek. She says there were obviously no crickets on the debate stage.
The controversial clip, which did not violate the platform's guidelines, kicked off a larger
conversation about how social media companies like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube
are planning to handle manipulated footage leading up to the 2020 presidential elections.
Don't be fooled with this fake argument, okay?
Any of these rules that they're going to come up with are going to be used against Trump.
We already have evidence that they're shutting down guys like me on social media and Twitter.
They're fucking shadow banning all the shit that goes against the Republicans and people who lean right.
So don't think for a second this is a real conversation, that Trump's going to get away with manipulating ads and fool people.
Unfrig them.
I love when it comes back to bite them in the ass.
Twitter said last year that it is crafting a new policy to limit the reach of deep fakes or videos altered using artificial
intelligence in misleading ways and other manipulative. Who's going to be making these
decisions? What's misleading and what's not? Huh? Who runs the big tech? Libs, left-wingers.
They're going to be making the decision what's manipulated and what's not. You really think they're going to lean in favor of it
if it's on the fence for a conservative?
We already have evidence of Twitter.
Twitter took down 70 of Bloomberg's so-called,
we talked about it last week,
70 accounts that had the same message.
Because they don't want Bloomberg in there either.
So don't fall for in there either, you know.
So don't fall for the fucking fake conversation.
Some factors that the platform will consider under the new rule include whether the content has been substantially edited
in any manner that alters composition, sequence, timing, or framing,
as well as whether it adds or removes any visual or auditory information
like overdubbed audio or new video frames.
And again, just keep in mind the politics of the people
who will be ruling on this.
Okay? That's all.
According to Twitter, Bloomberg's video would likely be labeled
under these guidelines to give additional context
around what people are seeing.
We will start labeling tweets with this type of media
on March 5, 2020, Twitter said. The fix is in. Don't even. Unreal. Twitter said earlier this
month that altered videos will be labeled as manipulated media. It will include a link to
more reputable sources. Twitter, you can't get any more far left of a cesspool than Twitter.
And the guy who started Twitter, Jack
Dorsey, you really think he's gonna
play fair when ruling?
Don't fucking make me laugh.
Don't make me laugh.
Don't make me laugh.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Mama! I don't want to hurt.
Pete Buttigieg had quite a weekend and so did a nice young nine-year-old boy.
I'm not saying anything.
I'm just saying.
Interesting.
I want to be brave like you.
A nine-year-old boy asked Pete Buttigieg how to tell people he is gay.
And Pete said, I thought it was obvious I was gay.
And the kid said, no, I'm talking about me, you silly bastard.
Pete Buttigieg counseled the nine-year-old boy.
If you don't think this was a setup and a setup question, you can lick my ass.
This is all a setup.
Wake up out there.
Wake the fuck up.
The gay agenda is in full bloom.
Pete Buttigieg counseled a nine-year-old boy
who wanted advice
on coming out as gay to everyone.
How do you know at nine already?
I'm not arguing.
I guess you do, but I'm just saying.
You really think
they just pick these questions out of a
fishbowl? A fishbowl
that had a nice rainbow flag on it and
two purple unicorn
dicks.
What? Would you
help me tell the world I'm gay, too?
Pete said, what do you want me to do, blow you right here?
No. I want to be brave
like you, Zachary Rowe, asked Buttigieg at a campaign rally in Colorado. During a Q&A session where questions
were drawn from a fishbowl, the boy later identified as Zachary Rowe thanked the former
mayor of South Bend, Indiana for his bravery and sought help from Buttigieg on coming out.
Would you help me tell the world I'm gay and pizza Pete said, I think your haircut and your shoes do that. But you know, quack, quack, quack, quack. Roe asked the first openly
gay presidential candidate, adding, I want to be brave like you. And here's a picture,
a clip of the exchange.
To see you...
It took me a long time
to figure out how to tell
even my best friend that I was gay.
Let alone to go out there and tell the world.
And to see you
willing to come to terms
with who you are...
He goes, it had nothing to do with me.
One of your guys that works for you backstage, Pete,
said I should go out there and put on these glasses.
And again, I'm not making fun.
I'm happy for the kid.
It's not a big deal is my point anymore.
Yes, I know it's tough or whatever.
But by the time we've evolved,
but don't tell me this wasn't a setup nick you're paranoid
the mushrooms made you crazy why is ray lewis's mom holding up a pizza go ahead room full of a
thousand people thousands of people you've never met that's that's really something
never met. That's really something.
Cue applaud from the seals.
Is that it?
Oh, god damn, I short-changed Pete.
I'm just saying.
More of a setup.
Hmm.
Pete's staring at him. Wow.
He is the most...
Can I just say something about Buttigieg? He is the smartest
one of everybody up there so far. And the debates, I think. He's the most eloquent I just say something about Buttigieg? He is the smartest one of everybody up there so far.
And the debates, I think.
He's the most eloquent and whatever.
I know he's got problems with the minority vote and whatnot.
But I really do think he's brighter than Liz Warren, fucking Bernie, all of them.
But I don't believe that for a second.
That was a spontaneous exchange.
I could be wrong.
The Colorado Sun reported that Roe decided to ask could be wrong the colorado sun reported that
roe decided to ask but it is the question at the last minute do you believe that really
uh it was exciting he said and i felt really happy the boy told the paper after the rally
i was glad i was able to tell everyone in the audience that i'm gay. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck is he?
Oh, God.
I'm happy for you, kid.
And Pete went on to say,
look, you're probably right now,
there's people in this audience
that are taking a cue from you.
And there's some truth to that.
I'm just saying there's not truth
that it all happened organically
and the kid came up the last second.
I'm not going to make a joke
about him staying with Pete
back at the Hyatt.
That would be wrong.
Let's get to some real
fucking crazy people.
Finally tonight on Meet the Press here.
Mad Mike Hughes.
You know who that guy is?
Well, he builds his own rockets.
And he built one.
There he is.
Looks like a lesbian English teacher.
But that's Mad Mike Hughes.
Fucking got to love this guy.
Something tells me he was into punk rock.
Video posted online shows the exact moment Mad Mike Hughes, circle the word mad,
homemade rocket came crashing down to Earth after a failed launch attempt,
killing the self-styled daredevil.
The video posted to Twitter by Justin Chapman, a freelance journalist
who witnessed and recorded the fatal crash.
This guy, and you know why he said he did this?
He wanted to see if the earth was flat or round.
And I know he's smart enough to build his own rocket.
So that's got to be a bullshit.
Again, I have my own theories on this.
This was a suicide thing.
And what a great way to commit suicide.
He's gone viral and he knows the goddamn answer.
And if he doesn't, although, anyways, show the clip.
What a crazy prick.
Look at it.
It's on the back of a truck.
Same thing ISIS uses to shoot at us.
Take it easy, Mike. Oh, no. The parachute came off. That is not good.
Now watch it. It's going to come straight down.
Look. It's like a fly ball.
Look it. See it falling in front of the clouds?
Oh, for the love of... What?
What did he do?
Oh, my.
The parachute came off.
I'm guessing that was supposed to...
You know, when the parachute comes out
and you float down gently?
If he survived that crash, he'd go, you know what?
This fucking planet is flat.
Fucking flat.
Do you believe he did that?
I really think that was suicidal because he's done it before.
And he said, after doing it the first time he obviously didn't die but he goes
this thing will kill you. That was like a quote from him.
That happened
Saturday. It was meant for a new
Science Channel series called Homemade Astronauts.
It was supposed to have
rocketed Jews up to 5,000 feet
in the air.
Science Channel was there to chronicle
his journey.
Hughes who believed the Earth is flat,
had previously said his goal was
to fly to the edge of outer space
and see for himself if the world is round.
And Raz made
a great point. Why don't you put a camera on
a rocket?
The camera will give you that information.
A fucking drone will.
Aye, aye, aye, Mike.
Can you imagine being smart enough to fucking...
Evil Knievel back in the 70s jumped Snake River Canyon.
You ever see that, Rez?
His head just blew back like he landed on the wrong side of the river.
I should be paralyzed thanks to Evel Knievel.
Every time he jumped buses and shit, me and my friends are out in the driveway
setting up trash cans and ramps, just breaking arms and collarbones.
I can't believe I said that.
Oh, God.
This is what he said.
I don't want to take anyone else's word for it.
He said after a March 2018 launch in the Mojave Desert in
which he shot his home a rocket over 1,800 feet into the sky. I don't know if
the world is flat or round, he said. I know he knows, doesn't he? There's easier ways to
find out. I don't know, fly from LA to fucking Dallas and look out the window. I don't know. Fly from L.A. to fucking Dallas and look out the window. I don't know. That's not high
enough, I understand, but Jesus Christ.
I wish I was smart
enough to fucking
build my own rocket. I'd be out of here.
I'd be gone,
man. You know where I'd go?
Hawaii.
Tulsi Gabbard.
Sit on the beach eating pineapple and
poi.
Here's a great story. I'll end with this one.
Great sports story.
This is sort of Rudy-like, only real
life, and it's why I love hockey.
I guess it could happen
to any sport, but this one
cracked me up. Emergency
goalie. That's right. Emergency goalie.
Did I not put that on? You son of a bitch. Emergency goalie David Ayers helps Carolina
Hurricanes defeat Maple Leafs in an NHL debut, but that's not the real story. Carolina held Toronto to a, hold on, Saturday in Toronto, injuries to both goalies, James
Rehmer and Patrick Mrozak, forced Carolina Hurricanes to call on in-house emergency goalie
David Ayers in the second period against Toronto.
Carolina held Toronto to 10 shots on goal in the 28-plus minutes Ayers was in net, and
he stopped the final eight, helping the Canes to the 28-plus minutes. Ayers was in net, and he stopped the final eight,
helping the Canes to a 6-3 victory.
Where's the fucking best part about it?
Listen to this.
According to the Hurricanes,
Ayers last served as an emergency backup goalie February 1st
for the team's AHL minor league affiliate, the Charlotte Checkers,
against the Toronto Marlies.
Listen to this. Team Ayers worked as the Zlies. Listen to this.
Team Ayers worked as the Zamboni driver for Toronto.
In this game, he comes in, you notice he has blue pants on because he was in the Toronto
organization.
Unfortunately for Carolina, Ayers' NHL debut had less than an ideal start.
Entering the game with a 4-1 lead, he allowed the first two shots on goal.
Goal! Goal!
In the net.
Shut up!
He choked.
Ayers gathered himself and shut out the Maple Leafs the rest of the way.
I told the boys in the dressing room, once we come out for the third, I'll be settled down.
He was a Zamboni driver.
And a minor, minor goalie.
He always wanted to play in the NHL.
It's like throwing Raz in net
tonight.
In that dressing room after the game,
Hurricane coach Rod Brindamore congratulated
the team and heirs. Watch this clip.
This is what makes sports great.
Alright.
How fucking cool is that?
Driving a Zamboni one minute.
Slapping the pads on.
He must have been feeling the heat.
He gave up the first two.
Did they actually show Brendamore's face when he came into the game?
He was like, oh, Jesus. He actually rolled his –
Ayers was named the first star of the game, which is so silly.
Despite having mixed feelings about the situation,
many Maple Leafs fans who were familiar with Ayers gave him a standing ovation.
Anyways, so it could lead to a contract to play for the, you know, Delaware Doves in the
Division 19 fucking over men's 50 league. Quite a moment for that guy. That is it,
ladies and gentlemen. Again, I can't thank you enough, Patreon members. You helped me to get to this point where we can give this thing away for free.
But like I said, in order for me to continue to do that,
go to nickdip.com and make contributions if you can.
And the Patreon thing is still up.
If you want that, like I said, you'll get an exclusive, an extra story,
and you can ask me questions and whatever else we come up with, exclusive to Patreon numbers.
As far as the contributions, go to nickdip.com, click on the contact button, and I'll read your name on the show.
If you have a business and you want to be a sponsor of the show, nickdip.com, and we'll talk about that.
We already have a couple, like I said.
But that's how I'll be able to, between donations and sponsors, we'll keep this thing going.
But now it's going to get out there a lot, which should help numbers everywhere.
That is about it.
Remember, you guys think it, I will say it.
You're very welcome.
Don't forget Cameo.com, obviously,
if you want me to send a personal video,
roasting one of your friends or whatever.
Oh, my God.
Raz is going to, it's 205.
I don't know what the phone call is.
He wouldn't tell me.
Ordering moonshine or something.
You guys think it, I will say.
You're very welcome.
See you tomorrow.
Take care. Take care.
Take care.
Take care. guitar solo We'll see you next time. Thank you.