The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Celebrates High Inflation | Nick Di Paolo Show #1272

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

Dems celebrate Inflation Reduction Act as inflation soars. Biden's border BS. Tim Ryan calls for violence. OH passes armed teachers bill. Nursing home stripper. Kimmel under attack.

🎵 Music. Music. Here's Nick. How are you, folks? Ed, how are you? You look like a bag of shit. Thanks. I sound like I'm doing Nixon.

Let me just say this, Ed. You're a real cock trucker. That song you just heard, the Tonight Show theme, was written by one of our guests tonight, the great Paul Anka. I have to split 400 bucks with him every time that's played. Imagine that? And he's a real prick. I met him backstage. Just a fucking loves himself. Who's else on the show? Girl with big tits on a show called

Freeze Company. Suzanne Somers. Boy, I'd give a paycheck to see what's under that bra. Who's Ed? And from the love boat, the captain. The fucking guy who tries to fuck all the girls on the leto deck at three in the morning gavin mcleod he's a big fag by the way uh leto dick good point good point ed we're starting early aren't we no no no anyhow any he red socks lost again last night

i can't believe what the we got a kid though I was just telling Dallas about. We got a kid named Tristan Casas. C-A-S-A-S. That's plural for houses, isn't it? Isn't it? It must mean something else. I would say, would it be houses? I know a pitcher was named Tom House.

He's the guy who caught the ball when Hank Aaron broke the record, by the way. Former Red Sox. Anyways, I know a lot about that shit which didn't help me in college uh yeah this kid Kristen he's 6'4 260 or maybe 6'5 I don't I think I mentioned this last they brought him up in the minors a week or two ago in the first game he comes up before the game he's got his shirt off stretching in the outfield and you don't do that apparently Eckersley was in the booth going I couldn't believe this guy was like sunning himself it's his first day up in the majors and who Eckersley loves that he's always tan and shit he was laughing he goes but boy he goes yeah that's a

lot of confidence for a rookie and I'm like what, what's he talking about? And sure enough, I read about it. It's like Eric's core had to tell him, like, that's how comfortable this kid is and how cocky. Just a big dude. He changes no expression. My wife is convinced he's gay because he's shaped like a pear. A pear's gay? What do you mean? What the fuck are you talking about?

The guy is huge. And he already went deep twice last night against the Yanks. He's a left-handed hitter. Anyways, enough, you people. I know you're bored. He also hits the baseball. He does.

That's right. He hit the... What did I say? What did I say? He went deep and he's a lefty. Oh, God. Holy shit. How about a hand. Oh, God. Holy shit. How about a hand for Dallas, everybody?

Come on. Fucking right on the money with that one. He's a lefty and he went deep. He also can hit baseball. Not bad, Dallas. Welcome to the Morning Zoo Show. I'm Kevin. That's my sidekick, Bubba Lips.

Whatever they always fucking say. All right, let's get on. Again, the encore. If you guys sign up for Patreon, I'm talking about Tommy Lee and what the Motley Crue audiences did at the last concert that has some people outraged.

And I personally think it's funny and apparently the judge does it. But anyways, so that's on the Encore show. If you're a monthly subscriber, if you don't get the Encore show, make sure to subscribe on Patreon right now to get the exclusive content and a shout out on the show. Uh, I'll mention your name. It's a, it's a, it's a big deal.

Jimmy Stewart. Uh, all right, let's move on to the top story tonight. Delusional Democrats. That's redundant. President Biden, this is, I don't know how, like Dallas said, you can't write this shit, threw an inflation reduction party Tuesday. Even as inflation hit a worse than expected 8.3%, the stock market tumbled like a retarded girl braces on her legs. And stubbornly high prices for food and housing, you know, little things, not important things,

continue to slam American households like Joe does his ham in the bathroom at the fucking White House. I mean, this is, my hair stands up. They're gaslighting us is what they're doing. They're looking you right in the eye and telling you things that, and they know you know. They're like, we're a charge now. If I say the sun is fucking black, it's black. If I say Hunter is gay, he's not. He's fucking everything.

What? Look, he's got the aviator glasses. Too bad he's such a jerk-off. He looks pretty good for a guy of that age, but in here, in here, there's a bunch of midgets running around throwing feces at each other. If you do an x-ray of his head, there's monkeys throwing shit at each other.

Go ahead, let's listen to Dinkweed. Exactly four weeks ago today, I signed the Inflation Reduction Act into law. A single most important legislation passed in the Congress to combat inflation and one of the most significant laws in our nation's history, in my view. I said it then, and I'll keep saying it. With this law, the American people won and special interests lost. Say it again. The American people won. Say it again. And special interests lost. That's what it says in it. Environmental activists, students and young people, advocates for senior citizens and families. This is what it looks like when the American government works for the people.

When we tell the powerful interests, no, you're not going to get your way this time, not this year, not this time, not now. Let's be honest. Passing this law wasn't easy. I proposed as soon as I got here, basically. And I've said, basically, you did or you didn't, you suck bag. What an insult. First of all, they're calling all of us that don't vote for him terrorists. Then they're looking you in the eye as the statistic comes out for inflation.

It's higher than they thought. And on the same day, can you imagine? And you people, you fucking people that vote for this guy. All 10 he is, by the way. Biden, 79, going on 179. Had classic, oh, this fucking, I can't believe this was, had classic folk rocker and cuckoo case. This guy spent a lot of time in the wacky bin, literally. James Taylor. He's got a nice voice. I believe this was, had classic folk rocker and cuckoo case.

This guy spent a lot of time in the wacky bin, literally. James Taylor, he's got a nice voice if you want to cut your wrists on a Saturday night because you're a fat guy. Look at this, Hillary singing Fire and Rain. If that's not Hillary, oh shit. This is Hillary performing Fire and Rain with James Taylor. He kicked off the White House South Lawn Bash with his 1970 hit, Where's the Xanax? No.

A song reportedly, Fire and Rain, about suicide and heroin addiction. So I guess he wrote it for Hunter. It's like Sweet Caroline. To belatedly celebrate passage of his Inflation Reduction Act. Oh, God. But Biden, who hailed the 74-year-old Taylor as a voice that heals our soul. Yeah, 1968. And unites a nation.

our soul. Yeah, 1968. And unites a nation. Failed to mention the market route sparked by the dismal labor department's consumer price index released earlier Thursday. Imagine if somebody tapped him on the shoulder like James Tann said, you got to get out. We got to go. We just got the numbers. This is a farce. The disappointing monthly report showed inflation continued to remain near record high levels in August, despite a continued demand-driven decline in the cost of gasoline, which means, you know why it's going down, folks? You know what that means? It's because people aren't driving because it's so expensive. And then it goes, mama lots. Cheaper gas was offset by steep 12-month jumps in the cost of food, up 13.5%. Electricity, 15.8%. Rent, nearly 7%.

And health insurance, 24.3%. So, yes, celebrate. Put on the party hats and the noisemakers. Thank you. Talk about, you know, it's so funny. They usually judge administrations by how transparent or how, remember that you would count Trump's lies? Remember, they'd say he lied, there weren't that many at his inauguration.

Shit like that. Or he lied, he had two scoops of ice cream. Not one. Shit like that. These people are lying about the price of food and inflation. Shit that nobody says shit in the media. Well, yes, they lose count. They've already lost count.

That's true. They can't count that high. Industrial average fell 4% on Tuesday to Dow Jones. That looks like a graph of my grades in college. Starting with the... That was me as a freshman on top left-hand corner. Then lightning striked me. I was not walking to the library.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 4% and landed on Biden's head, knocking cents into him on Tuesday. Or nearly, it fell 1,300 points. God damn it, I lost on my Bitcoin. I still don't know what it is. Bitcoin could bite me in the balls, the guy, I still wouldn't. And CNN cut away from the presidential speech to focus on the dramatic stock tumble. I'll repeat that. CNN cut away from the party.

I'll repeat that. CNN. Cut away from Biden's party. That's how bad the numbers were. And thank you. And we'll wrap the show there. Yeah. Biden's border breakdown. Oh, this is the next.

Boy, the Biden news is so fast and it's coming at me. Let's move on and stay on Biden's border breakdown. Shocking photos shows President Biden's son porking a young Mexican girl behind a tree near the Rio. No, that's, I'm joking, folks. He didn't do anything. He bit her neck. Yeah, there's no trees. Shocking photo shows President Biden's border crisis has hit a new peak in El Paso, Texas, where I just bought a house. It's beautiful down there. You should really take a look. Where a flood of migrants is being dumped under a bridge because the city has no more room to even process them. Haven't we gone through this already? Oh my. Are you interested in the real story?

Si, senor. Local Border Patrol Chief Gloria Esteban, I mean Chavez. You can't tell if she, I think she's an immigrant who snuck over and stole a Yeah. Gloria Chavez posted snapshots Monday night on her family coming up, no,

on Instagram showing long lines of migrants stretching along a fence all the way to guess where? Dairy Queen. They're already been here two minutes. They love Dairy Queen. No, stretching along a fence beneath the downtown highway overpass as the city began grappling with its highest daily influx even last month. as the city began grappling with its highest daily influx even last month. Trump's former AG, Matt Whitaker, I like this guy. He's on Guthrie a lot. He looks like he played football for somebody.

He had this to say about what's going on in El Paso. Swing it. You know, it is just, you know, right now Texas and the cities in Texas are bearing that burden. But I think it is definitely time that blue cities start paying a bigger price for these blue policies, because right now it is unsustainable. And we are reaching a point where not only is it broken, but I don't think long term that that we can sustain our sovereignty as a country. And I'm really very, very concerned. That is not hyperbole, by the way, folks. I'd say we've already, we don't have sovereignty. If you have an open border and the world's invited in,

and what's bumming me out, they're getting that kind of influx every day, and not just at that border. What are you going to do? Once they're in here and they scatter, do you understand, folks? You're not going to recognize, and it's not racist. I'm not giving you a replacement theory. It's the exact fucking truth. I got to hand it to the fucking Libs and the Dems and the Marxists.

They had a plan. People 40 years ago said that's their plan, to get everybody that's black and brown from other countries to come in here, jump on the welfare system, and then the Dems will have the power the rest of their lives. And I'm telling you, it's going down like clockwork. Since September 1st, El Paso sector

has averaged 1,300 encounters per day. That number doesn't even... It's hard to picture in your mind. Chavez wrote alongside the photos and then they said... She got upset. She said... wrote alongside the photos and then they said she got upset she said something about a dog. I'm sorry, that was Biden fighting with the help.

The migrants cross into the United States illegally and then claim they need asylum are usually dressed better than I am, by the way. Processed in a massive intake center that can handle I call her it's sewage treatment center 3,400 people but given the burgeoning figures people are now being processed in the makeshift set up under the bridge and can imagine that douche what's your name Kamala on Sunday shows had the nerve to look in the camera and go,

the borders are secure. Gaslighting 101. The migrants are then either dumped on local streets. Can you fucking imagine? Matter of time before, whatever, crime goes through the roof. Since there are no more government-funded hotel or shelter rooms available, I can't believe they even put them in hotels.

That is just, or helped along to their final destination, which is usually, guess where? New York City. Well, why should they be upset they shouldn't? They're a sanctuary city. Open your arms like you said you were going to. El Paso officials told the Post on Tuesday. What the hell's going on out here?

What's going on out there? I'll tell you what's going on out there. Those are policies, Biden policies. We asked the migrants where they wish to go. A lot of them said Wally World. We didn't even realize they knew what that was. Big fans, they said vacation, vacation. Nearly all of the migrants say New York City, said El Paso spokesman Laura Cruz Acosta.

New York City, said El Paso spokesman Laura Cruz Acosta. To date, we have charted 25 buses. And that was just two Mexican families. All have been to New York City. This is what I hear in my head. When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems.

First of all, it's not, in this story we're talking about, it's not even really Mexican. But again, what I do, I love to lump them in because it pisses off anybody who's even a little liberal. I do that on stage. I told you I'm at the Comedy Cell with you, Puerto Rico. I'm Dominican. What's the difference? A half a gram? And people get all cuckoo.

I do it on stage this weekend. I'm like, what are you? I was doing all my Chinese shit, you know, and there's a girl there, and I know my races. I take pride. I'm very,

after working in New York at the Comedy Cell for 20 years, I learned to pick out Dominicans for whatever. This girl, I could have sworn was Filipino. Filipino women can be very pretty. They're kind of tan. You know, Dallas knows. He eats at the Filipino place.

So I'm doing all my Chinese shit, thinking, I go, so you're Filipino. She goes, no, I'm Chinese. She was beautiful. I've never seen a beautiful Chinese lady. Most of them, again, look like the one that hands me my slip at the dry cleaners, about this tall and angry. What do you eat? You got shit on your shirt. In the images posted to Instagram, the hordes of migrants under the bridge appear to be mostly men in their 20s and 30s, as opposed to what the Biden administration says, oh, it's just families and, you know. The Border Patrol's, and by the way, that's no accident.

Young guys, that's not good. A staggering 47, almost 47% increase in encounters with migrants from October through July, compared to the same period last year. That's almost up 50%, according to the latest figures from this show. No, from U.S. Customs and Border Protection. In July, authorities tallied, get this, 24,916 encounters. tallied, get this, 24,916 encounters. An average of about 804 a day, up 21.2% from July of last year. That's what this statistics show. I almost did it again.

Strategy. Strategy. Anyways, Joe. Fuck Joe Biden! Fuck Joe Biden! This is what I'm going to hear tonight. FBI. You're near.

I'm doing the dishes. This show is entirely supported by you, the colored kids. Thank you to those who joined on Patreon in the past week. Those who made contributions, please continue to do so, and I promise to grab some titty down by the mall. What? So I promise I'll keep working to spread honest and direct comedy and commentary through this show and other people who are stupid enough to have me on. You can contribute at nicktip.com.

I'll read your name on the show. Be ready to be crowded at the mall and hand out autographs. Know what I say, okay? Okay. I tell you, no kiss. Well, I look at you now, you stupid fuck. No, I... I like when Tony comes home and the big guy, the bodyguard,

how you doing, Tony? How I... I fuck... I fucking piss. That how I am. I piss. What's the headline? Tim the twat. I's how I am. I piss. What's the headline? Tim the twat.

I love alliteration. I think you picked up on that. Representative Tim Ryan, Democrat, Ohio, running for the open U.S. Senate seat in Ohio, said Tuesday on MSNBC's Morning Joe, so you know he's about the truth, that the exhausted majority, that's's in quotes needed to kill and confront i repeat kill and confront the extremist republican uh movement all right imagine that they went nuts when sarah palin used a crosshairs thing remember she had the target thing where she wanted to get votes or whatever remember that they went nuts and it was invented by a democrat anyways uh but can you imagine

a senator saying we have to as far as blm goes or this whole mark we have to kill and again nobody touches it and then uh co-host willie ge bitch. What is your message to Ohio Republicans? He's asking Ryan this. In this general election, who may look at J.D. Vance and say, I don't like the way he's running the campaign. Maybe I don't like the guy. And they're giving you a look. What a setup.

Here's the tea. Here's the ball. Yeah. Come on, Timmy. You can hit the... His name is Tim ball. Come on, Timmy. You can hit the... His name is Timmy. I was just being silly. Here he is demonstrating how he wants to choke anybody that votes Republican. Ryan replied with some incendiary language.

I put that in there. Saying this. Listen to what he says. In reform, how do we fix all of these broken systems? Some of those answers will come from Republicans. It's not the extremists that we're dealing with every single day. We've got to kill and confront that movement. What? Do you want to go to war? Come on. Do you want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Oh, Konyo. Kill and confront. In that order?

Wake up. I want to confront you. You just killed killed me ryan added i'm saying exhausted majority democrats and republicans independence against the let me explain something to you shithead tim ryan the majority of the republican party are mega people which i know you call extremists so don't kid yourself if you really think we're extremists most of the republican party is because trump has it by the balls right now and i don't kid yourself. If you really think we're extremists, most of the Republican Party is because Trump has it by the balls right now. And I don't have a problem with it against the extremists leading an era of reform around reconciliation so we can heal this country. Yeah. You mean the way Biden's healing it? You're a Democrat. Biden's your boss. He comes on since he's got in the White House and called half the country terrorists, domestic terrorists, and still doing it.

But you're going to heal it. Heal your mother's bug. It's infected. What? What an immature thing to say. I know, but it's a lot of fun. Let's listen to his mother. No, that's Irish. We can heal the country and move into... You want to move into the future? Let me tell you something. I'm staying right here. Show is terrific today. God, my eyes.

I don't know if I have allergies or what. I think I might be a little depressed. Don't you not shower when you're depressed? Or am I just that fucking lazy? I took a shower this morning for the first time in about eight days. I know you people are going, that's gross. Well, I'm on the road in a hotel by myself. I let the jizz dry in my stomach and I pick it off later. That's how I kill time. Oh, God, that was gross. I don't even do that anymore. I can't even.

I'm tired. I can't even. I have jerk off elbow. Honest to God. Let's move on to some fun stories. Something light about pediatric cancer. No. Gunning for safety is the headline.

I write these headlines, by the way. Some days I make them funny. Other days I go, oh, fuck, let me get through this. Ohio's House Bill 99 went into effect on Monday, enabling, get this, this is actually good news, authorized teachers, principals, and other staff to carry firearms in the goddamn classroom. Fuck. This is great. I don't think any of the little black kids

will be arguing with their teacher. But do we want to be arming all of the leftist extremist teachers? Here's the deal. First of all, they're not forced to do it. And the leftist extremist ones aren't going to fucking, they're so afraid to go, which

is great. I'm hoping again, I hope the first story is a conservative history teacher shooting up agenda studies. Not killing it, just coupling the ass, just to let her know who be bars. Previously carrying firearms in a school safety zone, by the way, that's an invention of the left. That's why they're going to lose so bad in the Civil War, was prohibited with exception of persons employed as security officers or others with written authorization from a board of education. Those so authorized must undergo 700 hours of peace officer training or have 20 years of law enforcement experience. In other words, we really don't want the gay. You fucking.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, you people. We see right through you. I told you when I bought my gun, when I got here, like the second week I was here. I told you, when I bought my gun, when I got here, like the second week I was here, the guy we're talking about, he goes, yeah, most encounters happen within, I think he said five feet or eight feet,

that's what he says, and then in the next breath, he goes, do you want to sign up for my safety course? And I said, no, I'm pretty sure I can hit somebody from three to five. That's right, I swear. The law requires up to 24 hours of initial training and eight supplemental training hours annually. Now school employees need not be trained peace officers

to carry firearms so long as they have not been hired in the capacity of a special police officer or security officer. They complete certain specified training requirements as approved by the Ohio School Safety Center. I wonder if there's any libs on that and they're going to make it, you have to do 12 cartwheels in it, you know, that type of shit. I kill you. I kill you right now.

Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Like I said, I'm a movie. That's an Asian guy who's signing up. The district of school provides public notice that it has authorized one or more persons to be armed within a school. And they submit to an annual criminal records check. It makes perfect sense.

I've been saying, you know, not only do you have the teachers. Again, and I don't want to hear that it's expensive. Every school. I'm talking every college campus, every building. Come on. How many people need a job right now? Veterans. I want somebody outside with a cannon.

Putting the fear of death in the Uvalde people. Republican State Rep rep Thomas Hall. He was the best guy around. He's still around. Introduced the bill, noting it's necessary in areas where first responders are few and far between. Some of the inner city schools

have police officers at their school. Of course they do. Some of these rural schools don't have that luxury. It's a good point. You are correct, sir. You know what I mean? In downtown Minneapolis, in New York, in Chicago,

you know. Boy, Tucker showed some clips of people getting, how out of, I'm talking like a white suburb in Chicago. Kid comes out of the gym, three black dudes

stick guns in his face. I mean, and it's on purpose. And they, listen to this. He was reading, he was reading the fucking new laws like the Chicago police. If they're on your, if somebody's trans,

somebody's trespassing on you, you don't have the right to get rid of them, to get them off. I couldn't believe it. I was here last night. I couldn't fucking believe it. It's an out-and-out war against basically white middle-class people. And poor black people, I should say, and poor people in general. Anyways, I'm just saying, when's this going to end?

I don't know. But speaking of ending, what? Guys, you know I do these cameo things, right? And they're very popular. Snoop's on there. And I remember Tommy said, Dad, I think you're above that. I go, really? Is Brett Favre above it?

Is Snoop above it? And I'm not Sam as famous. Is Snoop above it? And I'm not Samus Famous. Anyways, let me roast your buddy or say happy birthday to your mom through Cameo. I really like doing these things. And Dallas has a link on the screen. Go there and you can see some of the Cameos I've done and order one yourself. Or just go to Cameo and search my name.

They'll tell you how it's done. It's a lot of fun. And it pays for the operation my cat's going to have. I stepped on its neck four times by accident. This has made every picture on a sunny day. Headline, visiting angels. I thought that was kind of clever. Visiting angels.

Ed, visiting angels. I had a bit about that. What was that? Oh, yeah, I was on the road, and I saw visiting angels, a commercial. I thought it was an escort service. I called, and some nurse showed up with a bedpan. I let her beat me on the ass with it. Cost me $100.

A nursing home has been forced to apologize, I don't understand why, for hiring some delicious stripper to perform for guys in their late hundreds in wheelchairs. Why did they put wheelchair? Why did they have to throw that in? To let us know they had the option of taking

it off? What does that fucking mean? And they're getting all kinds of shit. They're apologizing for it. I apologize. What's the matter with you? I'm sorry. The fuck is the matter with you? Who else hears of my mother's name?

I'm sorry. That's not my mother's name. That's his name. Johnny Roast Beef. That's who that guy's name is in real life. I was on an audition in L.A. and I see him in the room with me waiting to go. I go, Johnny Roast Beef? I swear to God, he goes, who wants to know?

A fucking dead serious. His face, I was like, apparently the real deal. The Taiwan Veterans Home, a state-run facility, that's usually not good over here. I don't know how the state runs, you know, for retired army personnel in Taiwan, paid the adult entertainer for a steamy show to celebrate mid-autumn festival. You know what that celebrates?

An important holiday in Chinese culture whereby people gather to celebrate the rice and wheat harvest of the season. In other words, it's a high-carb holiday. A video of the raunchy... Raunchy? This is the best thing I have... How could... Honestly, I'm not trying to be funny here.

For a guy, a veteran, who's a... A video of the raunchy performance. Again, I understand this is sort of Chinese culture. Which took place last Thursday. It was filmed by an attendee before he was caught. And his Cialis was taken away. It was posted to social media and quickly went viral. The kinky clip, who wrote this? Fucking Aunt Bea? Aunt Bea? The kinky clip shows the masked up erotic dancer clad in fancy lingerie, giving one elderly man a lap dance and thrusting her delicious,

I mean, her breasts into his face. He speaks perfect English and says this. That surprised us. Apparently he's from the South. Take a look at this and tell me what is wrong with it because I see nothing. But you couldn't give old vet, any guy in his 90s or 80s, a better president. Go ahead. Go get them, Greppy.

Whoa, where's he going? Good to see Sarah Silverman getting some work. Wow, baby. Me so horny. me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you. Apparently she was sexually assaulted, but they arrested the guy. It was the

tires on his... He left tracks, I guess, in the dirt in the parking lot. There was a couple other old guys doing donuts with their electric chairs that made it very, very... But come on! That is nice, firm, young boobs this guy hasn't seen.

Exactly right. Chew on those fuckers. They tried to kick him out of the thing, but he said... I'm staying right here! Again, perfect English. Fing-ting-a-wa-wa-ting-a perfect English. A nursing home spokesman, who cares what she said, added that mid-autumn festival. Isn't that a Sam Adams beer? They'll celebrate anything to sell beer. It's the fucking rice wheat thing in China.

Taste it. The mid-autumn festival parties had been canceled at the nursing home in previous years due to COVID. So these guys, what would they rather be doing, folks? Can I ask you, again, an assisted living home, playing bingo or having this, or singing show tunes on Friday night. I think it's, you know, La Boheme. Again, that guy, that just made his, they said he, right after, he just died. Couldn't shut the coffin. The 90-year-old cock was standing straight up. To the COVID pandemic, so they had to close before.

To lift resident spirits, they arranged for the stripper to perform a show, and God bless the people who did that. Honey, I got a birthday coming up. However, they conceded that the erotic dancer's actions were

I like how they put it, too enthusiastic and fiery. That's what they said about Ted Nugent's show when I was 14. I don't know. White Stripe. What was the band that burnt down the... Anyways, they were too enthusiastic and fiery. And that they would be more cautious when planning such events in the future.

Nobody will get canceled, even in a Chinese. Again, it's Taiwanese, but again, it's a Chinese. Nobody will even get canceled over there, but over here that would be grounds for firing. Unless it was a drag show. Exactly right. Unless that was a guy reading fucking Three Little Bears to fucking some five-star general

shit into a bag on his hip. They said there was also a more sedate game of bingo and some karaoke in an adjoining nursing hall. And you know what? They didn't mention those halls were empty. Video shows that the residents and the stripper remained COVID safe. Thank God stripper remain COVID safe. COVID safe?

She jammed his hand up inside at all times. However, keeping face masks on throughout the erotic show. Oh, my God. Can you imagine throwing that in there? Those silly little boys and girls. I don't know. Finally tonight on... In our libs eating libs, late night host,

James Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel being accused of white privilege. Again, something that doesn't even exist, this black privilege where you guys get to, you know, I don't know, live live rent free and whatever. Fucking taxpayer pays your rent and fucking food and, you know, that type of shit.

You can shoplift with impunity. You can you can suck a punch people and be out on the street in a day. Black privilege. Anyways, Jimmy's accused of white privilege after overshadowing Abbott Elementary, whatever that is, star creator, Quinta Brunson's, or Quinta, 222, 222, I'm giving her address, 2022 Elm Street. Docs there.

Yeah, we're docs there. Quinta Brunson's 2022 Emmy speech. By the way, did you even know the Emmys? I went to the Emmys when they mattered. I wrote for Chris Rock. They said this was the smaller, every year it's getting smaller, the TV audience. They are literally irrelevant now.

That Hollywood bubble is like a cyst on, you know, fucking Harvey Feierstein's ass. Emmy speech with a decidedly obnoxious sketch. Footage of the stunt is going viral as award show fans. Can you imagine your life being this empty that you're on fucking Twitter and this is upsetting you

and you're going to write about it? Or you're talking about it on your podcast? As viral as award show fans rip the funny man for allegedly ruining her big moment. For the uninitiated, the inflammatory interlude occurred after presenter Will Arnett dragged the 54-year-old Jimmy Kimmel Live host by his feet onto the stage as part of a skit before announcing the winner for best writing in a comedy series at the 73rd Primetime Emmy Awards in L.A.

Jimmy couldn't be here tonight, Arnett said. Why'd they give his age? Joked while addressing, he said he's passed out. Co-host lying on the floor, he added that Jimmy had gotten into the skinny margaritas after losing the Emmy for his late night series for the 13th time in a row. So number one, Jimmy's being self-deprecating, right? Making fun of himself. The sketch garnered audible guffaws.

Did it really, though? All the eight people in the room? And groans from the crowd. However, things took a turn after Arnett announced that Brunson had won the Emmy for ABC series, Abbott Elementary, whereupon Kimmel shockingly remained on his back in front of the microphone for the duration of her speech. At one point, Brunon even tried to rouse

him. Let's go to the videotape. Jimmy, wake up. I won. Jimmy? Okay, hold my phone. Yeah, I hear all the guffaws. Do they mean guffaws as in laughs? Maybe she didn't know

what a guffaw is. Everybody's laughing, by the way. And you're going to tell me she hasn't done Kimmel's show a few times. They're not like friends. I mean, just even Hillary got a ticket. She was there for some reason. She thought she had to, you know, try to get a foot in the door for her and Chelsea's shit show coming out on Netflix called Gutsy Whores. Can you see the trailer for that?

Oh, trailer trash. Many excuse the host of epitomizing. Here we go. How do you work race into this? I understand maybe saying, oh, he's trying to steal our moment. How do you epitomize, accuse the host, meaning Kimmel,

of epitomizing white male privilege? Do you see how much hate there male privilege do you see how much hate there is do you see how much how the people again show business west coast stupid it's everywhere but I'm just saying this type of shit goes on in LA do you see the people online how much anti-white if we're not terrorists well you know it's male the way, there's no such thing as male privilege. Every white guy that's successful worked harder than you and they're smarter than you. Shut the fuck up. Not everyone.

White male privilege with one critic writing, oh boy, if hashtag Akita Brunson stepped over Jimmy Kimmel, who literally laid in her spotlight on the day she won an Emmy, isn't a metaphor for what it means to be a white OC.

What is that? No. A woman of color in a white man's world. Oh, God. A walker, walker. A woman of color in a white man's world. I don't know what is. You know what it is, and you don't. Shut your fucking up. You need to shut the fuck up can you imagine that's just whoever wrote that hates white

people i don't care if it's a white person white lib probably is uh one angry twitter post second to their sentiment writing jimmy kimmel owes kinta an apology but the messed up part is every image of her accepting her award has his ass in it. White men really are insufferable. Oh my God. White power, one, two, three, four. It's time to watch my country. Watching the Emmys going down the drain. Jimmy's laying on the stool with his big, grainy cock. What? That made no sense. What?

Anyways, white men really are insufferable, huh? You mean the ones that founded this country? It made it the, came up with the only form of government that everybody in the world, except for the chinks and the Russians and a few other. Really? It's insufferable, but you're still living here. White men put men on the moon.

Came up with the automobile. Anything else that's really worth mentioning? I'll give you the traffic light and peanut butter. And even then, what happens at a traffic light? Carjackings. Oh, Nick, that's ridiculous. I'm just saying, do you see the hatred, the out-and-out hatred?

It's called envy is what it's called. Don't ever forget it. Don't ever forget it. Okay, kids, that is it. I had a great time. Hope you did, too. That's what I say to my wife after I have an ice... You believe this fucking bathroom's still not done?

I'm telling you, the pilgrims had the right idea. Just build a hut with a bucket in it. You should see the shower. It looks like something... We have a varmint... We have a varmintorium, a trough in the... It's the fucking Roman times. That's all I got. Anything else we said on curve, but that's it. You guys think

that I'll say you are very welcome. See you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Take care until then. Bye. guitar solo Outro Music Thanks for watching!