The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden-Harris Disrespect Dead Vets | Nick Di Paolo Show #1618
Episode Date: August 27, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Tulsi's endorsement, Biden-Harris absent, the Kelce bros. and much more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", ...full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 9/27/24 - Wise Guys - Jordan Landing, UT 9/28/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 9/29/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV TIX: https://www.nickdip.com/tour For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario I'm ready Hey, what kind of talk is that?
Hi folks, welcome to the show on a filthy Tuesday, the great state of Georgia.
You know, if I'm gonna sit this close and this monitor is this
close to me now, I'm gonna get false teeth.
The fucking bottom, my bottom ones are starting to look like
the ones the kid playing the banjo in deliverance.
It's all right here when I look at my teeth. It's right here.
Those Joe Scarborough eyes.
Anyhow, good to be with you. Red Sox are turning back into a pumpkin. I think
they've dropped five in a row. I don't know, man. I don't know. Aaron Judge will
be the MVP this year. I don't think there's no doubt about that. He's on a
pace for about 68 and he's hitting over 300 what kind of shit is that I'll
tell you what that is that's the half black side of him the the nice side he's
such a gentleman is the white side what do you mean by that I take also the
money management money management well that's a good point too. He hasn't bought any rims or sneakers yet.
Motherfucker.
Is this thing on?
Yes.
No, it ain't.
Turned itself on.
Yeah, it did.
Fucking have to turn it on like three seconds before the show.
Uh, come on, you fucking whore. Fuckin have to turn it on like three seconds before the show
Come on you fucking whore. Thank you. What else?
Well, but the flaws and my house of buckling
After we paid somebody to go under the crawlspace and you know lay down all this
What do you call it sucks moisture barriers and you know had the fucking duck work covered and insulated
and all kinds of horse shit and and yeah now the kitchen floor a little bit
spuckling in places and my wife's crying and instead of me feeling I said condominium she goes she
have problems like this in a condo too I go not if you live it on the third floor
some shit whatever ah what the life is just a I've said this I was quoted life
is just a series of flat tires cold cold sores, bad haircuts,
something like that.
The third one was much funnier.
Oh, fuck off, let's get on with the show.
Boy, I don't know what, what's her name, Kamala Harris and jerk off Waltz.
I don't know what they think.
I think they don't want to win this.
Like Dallas said, they're already convinced they're going to win it. And the way they say it, you can tell, we're going to steal
it anyways. That's why, how else can you explain her not going near the media? And I would
understand if Trump dodged the media, the way they treated them for the last eight years,
isn't that ironic? And he'll stop in front of any camera and talk to anybody.
And that holds no sway with you assholes who vote Democrat.
She fucking hasn't given an interview yet or a sit down.
What does that tell you?
Either she knows she's gonna win in any ways,
or she's got nothing and they got nothing.
How's she gonna defend that record?
It's tied to her fat ankle, like a fucking anchor.
Anyhow, in a related topic, first story,
Tulsi endorses Trump.
Tulsi Gabin, who I am a big fan.
Wow, that's kind of cool.
Is that a painting?
Or?
That's her.
It's kind of cool.
I like her.
I like everything about her.
I mean, I like her looks, but I like, there's this softness about her and thoughtfulness and she smells good.
I said that because Charlie Manson, I think Geraldo was interviewing Charlie in prison, and he goes, what about girls Charlie he goes oh maybe it was in the movie no it
was in real life he goes I like girls he goes they're soft they smell good long
as they keep their mouth shut I was on my couch I was going what the fuck oh my
god anyways Tulsi Gabbard as you know used to be a Democrat of Samoan descent Hawaiian whatever looks good in
lulu lemons kicking a heavy bag she was in the military actually saw action
didn't she unlike waltz I mean and she's smart as a whip she was smart enough to
go you know what my party is fucking insane and this is a big thing you think
about the people that are jumping to Trump's side. It's fucking insane. So here
she is officially endorsing Donald Trump yesterday.
To the brink of nuclear war than we ever have been before. This is one of the main reasons
why I'm committed to doing all that I can to send President Trump back to the White House where he can once again serve us as our Commander in Chief.
Because I am confident that his first task will be to do the work to walk us back from
the brink of war
We cannot be prosperous unless we are at peace
You know what's great about this and people already forget she's the one who made an asshole of
Kamala Harris during the debates and the next day Kamala's fucking stock dropped about a thousand percent
So she's already done her job
Wouldn't that be sweet
I wonder if she's gonna find a place in Trump's cabinet or in his living room. I
Would have said bedroom, but come on Melania me and ya I think she's a
Very nice She's got big balls. Not again. You can't say that today I think she's very nice.
She's got big balls.
Again, you can't say that today.
People are going, really?
Not really, no.
But she was in the military, very smart, and it's a great addition.
You think about that, now you've got RFK Junior, Elon Musk.
Who do they got?
A gay football coach, gay high school football coach, and Kamala who
is, I think honestly, she's on the spectrum of retarded. Anyways, I should know things
like that. I'm on that spectrum too. But I lifted myself up by my bootstraps. Started
telling dick jokes one night at Open opened mic and here I am.
Clarinamos 21.5 a year in comedy.
Let's stay on the Biden-Harris MIA.
That's right, they are missing in action.
Former President Donald Trump,
you know what he was doing yesterday?
Honoring the 13 service members who died
in the botched Afghanistan withdrawal
three years ago on Monday. Joining families of the fallen for a private event at Arlington
National Cemetery. Well, President Biden stayed away from the White House for the second week
in a row. He went to the beach. I think they told him that it was a you know
fucking D-Day and they told him he was in France in Normandy. It was really
Rehoboth. What are we doing? Shut up and get in the car. Get in the backseat.
Shut up. You fucking asshole.
Unbelievable.
He's pouting is what he's doing.
He is furious.
He's like a little kid.
They stole something from him.
He's pouting.
I'll show you guys.
Want me to disappear?
I'll disappear.
And there's Trump doing what he's supposed to be doing, trying to pick up a girl in a
wheelchair.
What?
I'm kidding. Mr. President knows I love him. I
can say shit like that. Look at that. That's what, can you imagine? You're running for
president. She doesn't even have the balls to show up to this third anniversary of the
Kabul. Kabul? Yeah. Of that fucking exit that was so well executed we left every piece of equipment we have on there. Oh
My god, let's take a look at Trump being president In the 70s when the Patriots stunk they used to play that when they took the field or after
the game. Who wrote that? Anybody know? It's perfect for what they use it for.
It is the saddest. It's crazy. Anyway, I'm going to learn that on my guitar. Is that
possible? Anyways, just to remind you guys what this is all about, on August 26th, which was yesterday, 2021, ISIS-K, that's the one
with calcium, fortified with niacin, suicide bomber Abdul Rahman Al-Lughari, oh, he's Italian
too, detonated an explosive vest outside Hamid Karzai International Airport's Abbey Gate,
does that mean A gate?
Yeah, it's just a pathetic.
It is, right?
Killing the service members in nearly 200 Afghans.
The White House published separate statements
from Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.
They had published statements,
they couldn't be there on Monday.
Though the president had no public events scheduled
as he spends the week where? At his beach house in Roehoffeth.
Harris also had no public events on her schedule Monday.
So they had no nothing to do and they still didn't show up. This private event at Arlington was meant to stress Biden and Harris
roles in the withdrawal after the Veep made a point of agreeing with CNN's Dana Bash in August
of 2021, that Harris was the last person in the room when
the pullout was ordered. So she was taken. She was taking credit
for it, saying yes, I was the last one to tell him it was the
right move. She was bragging about it.
Now she doesn't have the balls to show up for it.
The Gold Star families have spoken to Trump in the past.
Several family members, including Kristi Shamblin,
took the stage at last month's Republican National Convention
to praise Trump's response to the tragedy.
That's her.
While Joe Biden has refused to recognize their sacrifice
Donald Trump spent six hours in Bedminster with us
Shamblin the mother-in-law of Marine Sergeant Nicole G said in Milwaukee he
allowed us to grieve he allowed us to remember our hero she added but where
was a where was Kamala and Joe nowhere be fucking, what more do you need to know about their character?
Even if you're a globalist,
you know what I mean, which they are,
they want the worst for this country,
at least fake it.
The fucking arrogance is just mind blowing.
They only gave their lives anyways Donald Trump obviously doing the right thing because he gives a shit and I don't want to hear one more
person on the left go he doesn't care about middle class people are working
class I love this mentality if you're rich and you made it in life you can't
care about you're
fucking insane they used to call the right stupid the left is so fucking
stupid I can't even explain it sit down and debate anybody I wish I was at the
comedy cellar now they'd keep their mouths shut trust. That one blew my mind. Where is she hiding? At least Biden, at least Biden
said I'm going to hide. They announced it to us. Remember? I'm going to have to put
a cardboard cut out of you. I keep looking over here. It really is different because
you used to be right above the screen and I could...
Does this bother you guys folks?
If it doesn't bother you, I'll keep doing it.
I gotta pay attention to him.
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BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs. 19 plus to Wager. Ontario only.
Please play responsibly.
If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,
please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.
BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
And other news, let's move on shall we?
Kelsey Brothers reaching new heights.
That's because they're from right outside of Cleveland.
Something heights, I should know it.
I'm tall heights?
I don't know.
Jason and Travis Kelsey are reaching new heights with new heights.
That's the name of their, maybe that's where they lived outside of Cleveland.
The NFL brothers inked a deal for a podcast, I'll repeat, a podcast, worth more than a
hundred million.
Motherfucker, can I get two tenths of that? I'll repeat a podcast worth more than a hundred million.
Motherfucker, can I get two tenths of that?
I know.
I work fucking harder than all these people.
He's banging Taylor Swift for Christ's sake.
Guys will give him ten grand to sniff his thumb.
What?
Mr. Fischl, let me ask you a question.
What? I thought you were, let me ask you a question. What?
I thought you were talking about sniffing his thumb. Yeah, what?
No, what?
Anyways, they inked a deal for more than 100 million
with Amazon's Wondery.
Am I saying that right?
To produce and distribute their popular podcast,
Variety reported this show, you know, it must be true.
Give me the money, you understand me? Give me the fucking money, you hear me? You hear me? I gotta come here and bust my body. podcast variety reported this show you know it must be true that sounds like
one of those guys new heights skyrocket in popularity over the last year after
Travis started dating pop star Taylor Swift and of course I mean I was just
saying a Dallas before the show she's's global. She's like UFC.
When Rogan got his face on UFC, it took his podcast to a fucking different level.
So will dating Bang and Taylor Swift.
She's frigging global.
I know he was famous, but not world fucking famous.
But now he's joined to her hip.
You know, and you got little girls in fucking Europe going, oh, I wonder if they fucked last night.
Well, that was me, actually.
Anyways, they started, after he started banging Taylor Swift and shared details of their relationship
on the program.
Wow.
The show, though, is rooted in NFL insights and the, he talks about how he runs a power
sweep right up her ass.
Take that back. I will. I don't want to get beat up I love these guys and the camaraderie
between the Ohio born brothers who affectionately refer to their fans as
92 percenters not sure what that means you've Dallas yeah the post Ryan glass
beagle glass beagle almost black and untouched first reported on Amazon and the Kelsey brothers being in talks in May noting the multi-platform
utility and viral clips that have been staples of the show.
We couldn't be more excited to team up with Wondery for the next phase of our new heights.
The Kelsey brothers said laying on a bag of money per variety we love
this show and the fan but I they let me tell you these two guys like and they're
fucking great both Hall of Famers I think but they I know Travis can't wait
to get into showbiz I can do you feel that way he's like I've won a fucking
how many Super Bowls I've done my shit I'm banging the hottest the most popular woman on the planet. You know, what's next?
So I think he can't wait to get the NFL career, you know break his neck or his head
You can't bang Taylor Swift in a wheelchair unless it's electric
Well, let's you write books like Stephen Hawkins well
You really think Travis can read or write?
Again, Mr. Kelsey, you know I'm kidding you. I'm a Pats fan and I'll get in trouble with Patriots fans if I say that.
I like it the same amount as I like Gronkowski. All right.
Anyways, they're excited because they got a trillion
dollars and life couldn't be better. Wandery understands the shared vision. Oh, they talk
about it like this is a fucking documentary on fucking global warming. Wandery understands
the shared vision and will offer a wealth of experience and resources to take. You're
going to offer all that like they need it. They could do this in the fucking bathroom at a Greyhound bus station.
It's gonna go through the roof.
Shut the fuck up, you leeches.
We are going to create some groundbreaking moments together through the partnership and
we'll be the blood leeches that take some off the top.
We are thrilled to start season three.
See you soon, 92 percenters the new Heights news comes just days before the
2024 NFL season gets underway
It's enough of that too that'll get fucking flag because we're in the god damn it Nick
Jason 36 who spent 13 seasons with the Eagles before donning a hoop skirt, retiring in March
will appear on, I love Jay, man did you get in a fight with these two guys in a bar?
Hey man, got to pack his hat on, he slaps it off.
Anyways, with the Eagles before retiring in March, that's the bearded one, will appear
on Monday night countdown, he's already bearded one, will appear on Monday night countdown.
He's already got a gig beginning in September after joining ESPN this past spring.
Travis, 34, is entering his 12th season, which is saying a lot right there, with the Chiefs
who are coming off back-to-back Super Bowl wins.
And Pat Mahomes isn't a pimple on Tom Brady's ass, but you guys keep believing it. I love him. Don't get me wrong
He's more fun to watch actually, but come on. Let's relax as soon as he has more links fucking rings and Liberace
I'll give you that
You know I'm saying
Anyways, those you on mug club stick around for the second half of the show the rest years
Go to Nick dip comm and sign up a mug club
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Comm click on the tour button
Talking like Hicks now and you'll see
September 27th I'm at wise guys
Jordan landing Utah and then the next two nights, right after that,
I'll be in Vegas at Skankfest, September 28th and 29th.
That should be a real hoot.
Second half of the show, I will be telling you,
Zuckerberg wrote a letter to Jim Jordan.
You know, he's the head of the House Means and Ways
and Bug and Scrutiny Committee.
Wrote a- The Hearings Committee? The Hearings Committee. means and ways and bugging scrutiny committee. The hearings committee.
The hearings committee.
And exactly when nothing gets done.
But anyways, Zuckerberg wrote a letter
and there's some shocking admissions in it.
And also Biden and Harris show little respect.
They show how little respect they have for the military.
Some Gold Star mothers
spoke and they let, she let you know how she feels about Biden and Harris. Anyways, that's
come up in the second half of the year.
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