The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden is Compromised! | Nick Di Paolo Show #687
Episode Date: April 5, 2022Slap Tattoo. Hunter and his gatherers. Nice houses matter. UFO vs. Navy. Biden doubles down on Putin as war criminal....
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Please welcome Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli
We got the wrong cards
Chris Rocks, oh, Jada jokes
Don't read those, don't read those
Everyone loves jokes!
Let's see here, it says
Jada Pickens pussy smells so bad it melted the hair off her head
Beat my wife's name out your f***ing mouth!
You don't scare me.
You can't even keep another man's balls out of Jada's mouth.
Keep my wife's name out your f***ing mouth!
Do what he says.
Security sucks at this event.
I'll handle it. Ah! Shut your f***ing mouth! Do what he says, security sucks at this event.
I'll handle it.
You'd like me to be the winner now?
Yes.
Everyone who f***ed Jada! guitar solo Oh yeah! Welcome to the show.
On a dirty Tuesday, how are you folks?
That was Kyle Dunnigan's little piece.
He's a very funny comic.
He used to be at the Comedy Cellar all the time.
And he's starting to make a name for himself, putting these things together.
He does an unbelievable Alec Baldwin impression and Frank Stallone.
He's always on, I think, Kurt Metzger's part.
And Joe Rogan sort of caught on to him, which will, you know,
anytime you can get that kind of exposure so but he's really funny at that god damn it that made me laugh it made me laugh so goddamn hard it's just
it's just it's refreshing because he's basically calling Will Smith a douchebag
and her too and it's just didn't you find it refreshing? Didn't you? Sure you did. Admit it.
45.
I sound like her.
I'll take care of it.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Anyhow, speaking of that, leading into it real quick up front,
apparently this story won't go away. And people, I mean, to the
point where not only talking about, how about getting tattoos of the slap? Have you ever,
you think we're a media-driven country at all? People are turning the moment Will Smith slapped
Chris Rock into a permanent memory with tattoos. Oh-yi-yi. Ay-yi.
I'm going to get one of the Kennedy assassination on my ass.
Is it too late?
Tattoo artist John Arton found it hilarious
when someone asked to get the infamous outburst tattooed
on his leg recently.
Uh-oh.
Retard alert.
Yeah, I agree.
Retard alert.
Who's that going to impress?
I'll do an impression of somebody with that tattoo on a first date.
Look what I got on my calf.
Remember that happened like four minutes ago?
Hey, where you going, you bitch?
Is that John Arten?
John Arten.
Look at John.
Is he a blind tattoo artist?
That's not a shirt, by the way.
That's a tattoo he did on.
Fucking terrific, this kid.
I thought, John Arten said, I thought, let's do it.
It's hilarious.
What are you going to say, no?
I'm sure there was some money involved.
Not like you're killing it.
He says, it's hilarious.
The Birmingham tattoo artist told SWNS, it's quite small and discreet.
If it wasn't, I probably wouldn't have done it.
Liar, liar, liar, pants on dirty tattoo fire.
What are you talking about?
If it was huge, you could have charged $1,500.
What are you talking about?
What a silly thing.
It's like me getting shemp, getting poked in the eyes on my neck.
Fucking Mo, giving him the old.
Arten spoke to British radio station Heart about the tattoo
for a segment on the weirdest thing he has been asked to do at work.
Having been a tattoo artist for three years
and specializing in hyper-realistic
portraits, is that what you call that word? Arten said he was happy to oblige. Oscar Aguilar Jr.
shared a video on his Instagram of the finished product, which has been reposted, of course,
to TikTok with nearly 15,000 views, 14,000 by Chinese military. Commenters were quick to call the tattoo unnecessary, childish, and so dumb.
Well, let's see what we got here.
Yeah.
You know what's funny?
That could be Martin Luther King Jr. slapping Flip Wilson at a roast.
That could be, I don't know, Cedric the Entertainer punching Martin Lawrence.
It's fucking hilarious.
And you know what?
I want to see black guys get this because you can't.
As Otto and George said, the puppet, the dirty.
Remember my, Otto and George, my buddy,
now, black guys get tattoos.
You can't even see.
It's like decorating a chocolate cake with dog shit.
Well, celebrities, it says am.
What's it say?
Well, celebrities, what?
And Americans.
Oh, it's a- am here. I see. Well, celebrities and, oh, Americans divided about the, out of the blue moment. They divided about the actual slap thing.
This is how you know we're doomed as a species. That's up for debate whether what he did was
wrong or right. That shows you how fucking far people have gone
as far as pissing on the First Amendment in this country,
especially millennials.
There's been plenty of polls.
You're not big free speech.
How the fuck, why would you debate violence
because somebody said some, I mean,
why would you agree that, you know,
there's nothing wrong with that.
What the fuck?
So, again, the people that are saying Will Smith did the right thing,
in their words, again, and you know this is how the left can think of a 40-year,
words, every bit, no difference between that,
and actually they think words are more poison than actions. It's just the most retarded train shows what pussies you
are what thin skin fucking babies ugh we're finished never been more happy to
be 60 so the Americans are divided out of the blue moment art and said he feels
and he's a nitwit see he's part of that generation the artist says he feels
there's no right and wrong the fuck are you talking really so i'm gonna come in for a tattoo
right about halfway through it like when you were slouched over putting on my thigh and i i don't
like it i'm just gonna drop an elbow in the back of your head knock you unconscious huh don't like it. I'm just going to drop an elbow in the back of your head, knock you unconscious.
No right or wrong.
Huh?
No right or wrong.
Don't judge people's behavior.
That's why we're in the shithole we are.
That nobody, I've been saying this on stage since my fifth year in college,
nobody judges anybody, especially people on the left.
You can't judge anybody's behavior,
unless it's a white Christian male.
And then you can say whatever the fuck you want. But live and let live.
It sounds nice.
Putin, you know, that's what he's doing right now.
It's his idea of fucking, you know.
Anyways, it's a weird, interesting, and crazy thing, he says.
I don't think there's a right or wrong side.
I didn't mean to spend this much time on this.
But it's just an interesting thing some celebrities have done, Arten said.
What does he mean?
The slap fight is an interesting thing?
Yeah, I guess what he's referring to.
I don't know.
What else?
Anyways, let's move on to another nitwit.
Hunter and his gatherers.
Hey, that's pretty clever, Nick.
I know.
I told you I should be writing for the Post.
A witness who testified before the hunt Biden, this is interesting, grand jury, was
asked to identify the big guy in the First Son's planned deal with a Chinese energy conglomerate.
And Hunter said, they were talking about obviously my member, my sexual.
As calls ramped up to have President Biden included in a conspiracy probe.
Yeah, I'd like to see it happen. Do you guys really think, Biden, anybody's going to jail?
Haven't we learned for the last 10 years? Hillary's still out there giving advice in public.
She should be getting raped by a fucking he-she
in a woman's prison. Somebody that looks like Leah Thomas with a fucking...
The question arose after the witness was shown a piece of evidence while appearing in secret
before the panel in Wilmington, Delaware, a source familiar with the proceedings told Nick
DiPaolo in the Post. A bombshell email exclusively reported
by the Post in October 2020 showed that one of Hunter Biden's business partners, James Gillar,
outlined the proposed percentage distribution of equity in a company created for a joint venture
with CEFC. It's a Chinese energy company. So he was right in the middle of this.
The March 13, 2017 plan
included 10 held for the big guy.
What are we supposed to believe?
Inches?
Come on.
10 held for the big...
It says, sorry,
held by H for the big guy.
Gee, who would H be?
Henny Youngman? Helen Keller, Howard Stern. Come on.
Hank Aaron, Helmut Schmidt. Who's that? I don't know. 10 hell for the big guy. We all know the big guy is the fucking Joe Biden, another former Hunter Biden partner. By the way, this is the story that the, you know,
mainstream media buried right before the election.
And we know, we know that it was stolen anyway.
I don't give a fuck what you say.
But if you want to pretend it wasn't,
Trump lost by a conter and 10% of people,
Democrats who voted for Biden actually have said in polls they wouldn't have if they knew about this.
Well, take a photo.
Another former Hunter Biden partner,
U.S. Navy veteran, this guy, Tony Bobulinski, I wonder why he sort of went away. Remember a year
ago he was on every show? He later revealed that the big guy was Hunter's dad. Then the Democratic
candidate for president saying, I have heard Joe Biden say he has never discussed his dealings with Hunter.
He's lying.
And Tony here, doing a Pete Rose impression, said that was false.
Hunter Biden disclosed he was under investigation for his tax affairs
shortly after his dad was elected over former President Donald Trump in the 2020 election.
But the probe broadened to include potential money laundering
and the violation of lobbying laws, according to recent reports.
But Hunter is just, you know, he didn't do any of that shit.
I'm smart.
Oh, no, you ain't.
I'm like everybody says.
Like, don't.
I'm smart, and I you ain't. I'm like everybody says. Like, don't. I'm smart, and I want respect.
Stop jerking off on TikTok and smoking crack.
If you want respect.
In the wake of last week's report by the WAPO, Washington Post, which confirmed 4.8 million in payments from CEFC, that's a Chinese energy, to entities controlled by who? Hunter
Biden and first brother James Biden during the 2017 and 2018. The White House on Sunday attempted
to distance the president. Can you imagine having this job? Oh my God. From his under scrutiny kin.
And I'm going to say it again, being the cynical dick I am. We'll go through this whole song and dance. Nobody will go to jail. Hunter might have to, I don't know, pick up trash by
the highway for 10 minutes. Joe will be wheeled off in a fucking, you know, baby stroller shitting
himself. No one's going to. I can't take it. Why? Because they're Democrats. White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain said this on one of those Sunday morning shows.
Let's roll this, Mama Luke.
Of course the president's confident that his son didn't break the law.
But most importantly, as I said, that's a matter that's going to be decided by the Justice Department, by the legal process.
It's something that no one at the White House has involvement in.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Can you imagine?
He can't even keep a straight face.
Can you imagine having to go out?
They really do.
It's just part of the job.
When I was little, I always heard,
even when I was young,
and I heard politicians are all full of shit,
you're like, I don't know, there's a couple. No.
They're fucking rotten to the core.
Ugh.
Except for Trump.
You know what?
He's not a politician.
He's a businessman, which is what this country is.
It's a corporation.
So put a CEO in there with blonde hair and blue eyes, alpha male, who's eating a supermodel's ass every night. A winner.
I don't know, I got some pussy. She let me grab it at a party. A pussy like, probably
the greatest pussy ever.
You know what, Marla Maples was Trump's ex. I saw her in person, to this day, still
the hottest woman I ever saw in my life.
In person. And she wasn't like a
spring chick at this point. I don't know
why I was at some luncheon in New York.
I don't know.
She was getting into a cat. I fucking
I almost fainted how strikingly.
And she said
Trump was the best sex you ever had.
That big
mushroom head on his dick.
Looks like something out of a Tom Petty video.
Klain went on to say this dink.
But again, I want to just be really clear.
These actions by Hunter and his brother, Klain told ABC's midget Stephanopoulos,
they're private matters.
They don't involve the president,
and they're certainly something that no one at the White House is involved in.
He wanted to stress that.
Will you shut up?
Really?
Will you please shut up?
Will you shut up?
Shut up!
Shut up!
Really, really, really.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The Biden family is like, you know, one of the five families, the fucking Luchases.
The dumb son, the Fredo fucking it all up.
But the Chinese offered me a deal, Joe.
They said there was something in it for me, Dad.
There was something in it for me, Dad. There was something in it for me.
They said, you was being tough on the negotiations at Burisma.
Come on, man, you bought that store?
Former federal law enforcement officials dismissed those claims
with one ex-Fed even saying there's already enough evidence to build a conspiracy case.
This is an ex-law enforcement guy. They know.
He says, I get that there's spin, but this is not a complex one.
Former Utah U.S. Attorney Brett Tolman told the Post.
Tolman said Bobulinski's confirmation that President Biden was the big guy
in a proposed 2017 deal with CEFC China Energy
could be considered evidence
that other family members were involved.
Tony Bobulinski, you see how we haven't seen him?
He was there.
He saw Joe Biden at the goddamn meeting.
Never tell anybody outside the family
what you're thinking again.
Conspiracy is a standalone crime in our country,
and you've certainly
got enough to present to the grand jury that there's
a conspiracy among Joe,
Brother James, and Hunter
to bring in money to not
declare that money, to not pay taxes
on that money, he said. There's nine ways
they can go with this thing. And, he
said, to do so from a country like
China, it's not just red
flags, it's a red flag with a yellow star on it.
No.
I just made that up.
Good night, everybody.
It's not just red flags.
There are potential crimes being committed.
Yeah, no kidding.
That's the other thing.
You know what I mean?
They are a geopolitical foe, right?
China's a geopolitical foe.
It's one thing if he was doing dirty business
with, I don't know, Poland or an ally or...
Fuck it.
He's compromised.
They have dirt on this motherfucker.
You don't think Xi Jinping
is just sitting there licking his chops?
Aye, aye, aye.
Couldn't have picked the worst asshole
to steal an election.
You know?
Let's get off that into my favorite subject,
black people who are full of shit.
What do you mean by that?
Well, you know, BLM people who started the BLM movement.
You know what I'm talking about.
Black Lives Matter bought a swanky Southern California home
for nearly $6 million using donations,
would you believe, three Cub Scouts and a rowboat.
Let's get smart, everybody.
I hope you're 70.
Do you remember Get Smart?
I know Get Smart.
Do you?
Yeah.
Dallas knows.
I don't know.
I keep thinking you're my age.
Anyways, six million dollars, they bought a house at BLM, people who founded the shithole Marxist organization,
using donations and cash donations.
Gee, I wonder whether that came out on Monday.
Three leaders of the social justice movement, Patrice O'Neill.
What?
No, Patrice Cullors.
Look how they spell Cullors.
And you know it meant to be colors. Alicia Garza and Malina Abdullah,
three angry black dykes seen here
who couldn't hate this country more
because they just, you know,
it doesn't cater to their fucking needs.
They recorded a video last June
outside the secretly bought home.
Well, I guess it's not really secret.
While marking the one-year anniversary of George Floyd,
how, does that not say it all?
What better way to celebrate, first of all, a fake hero,
but, you know, to them a real hero,
by showing the house you bought with the money that you got from him dying.
Look who he did with the exploited money.
Look who he did.
Where's Al Sharpton?
He probably managed all that.
So they, they show the house right out here. Congratulations on your one year.
Bye bye, dickhead.
Yeah, really.
Cullors at the time said she was weeks removed from being in survival mode.
I think we have her saying that in an interview.
What folks says about this family, I does.
I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady
but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird.
And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson
and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog.
Or any of my other houses.
After the Post exclusive reporting in April revealed her purchase of four,
remember this?
We talked about
the, bought four high-end U.S. homes for 3.2 mil. It's because we're powerful. This is her talking.
Because we are winning, Cullors said, of what she characterized as right-wing media attack. I love
the phrase right-wing media attacks. It's because we are threatening the establishment. We're threatening the white
supremacy that doesn't exist. If it did, you'd be dead. Your living girlfriend would be dead,
and anybody else you know would be dead. You better hope it doesn't exist. You can keep saying
it does, and a lot of white, of course, liberal jerk-offs say it too,
but I'm saying you better pray.
You better pray you don't wake up one morning and hear this.
White power, one, two, three, four!
This time I'm watching my country.
Going down the drain.
We are all at fault now.
We are all to blame.
Well, I think I took over.
We just let them come.
Up three notches this week.
From 27 to 24,
Screwdriver with White Power Song.
Knocking the Beatles, hey Jude,
right out of that slot.
But
Cullors and her colleagues
didn't reveal any
details on upscale home, seen
behind them in the video. A
6,500 square foot spread
with more than six bedrooms
and bathrooms, fireplaces, a pool, and parking with more than six bedrooms and bathrooms,
fireplaces, a pool, and parking for more than 20 cars.
Any room for fucking a statue of George Floyd in the kitchen?
According to a real estate listing cited by the magazine,
the property was purchased in October 2020 with funds that had been previously
donated to BLM Global Network Foundation,
according to the explosive report.
Yeah, boy, it gets a ton of coverage, doesn't it?
The seven-bedroom residence,
and nobody makes,
nobody, this pisses off nobody
more than black people
who work hard for a living
and, you know,
and who believe in the moment and shit,
even though they're being...
Seven bedrooms, huh?
Anyways, the residence was purchased by a man named, it looks like Dane. Let's say Dane. That's probably black for Dane, D-Y-A-N-E. Let's call
him Dane. Dane Pascal, two weeks after BLMGNF received, two weeks after, they can't even wait,
Two weeks after, they can't even wait.
66.5 mil from its fiscal sponsor earlier that month.
Pascal is the financial manager for Janiya and Patrice Consulting.
I used them when I got in a slip and fall thing at the market.
An LLC operated by Cullors and her spouse, Gianna Kahn.
New York Magazine, look how happy they are to be in America.
Ownership was then transferred within a week to an LLC in Delaware,
ensuring the property's owner wouldn't be disclosed,
according to the report.
I have one thing to say to you, Ms. Cullors.
That's right.
Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.
Oh, my God. I just love Christopher and his retro fucking sexism.
That's right, go home and get my dick. You know I've used that on my wife when we get in fights when we're out.
No, I would never.
No, I can't do that.
Only during Lent.
What?
Colors, BLM's co-founder resigned in May.
Oh, did she?
She probably, she on the LGB,
the ladies golf tour, if I could get that out. The caffeine is just overwhelming right now.
Resigned in May as the group's executive director amid criticism over buying three homes in the LA area and another outside Atlanta. Jesus Christ. The purchase of the nearly $6 million home had
not been previously reported and And of course not.
And BLM officials tried to keep its existence a secret from a journalist looking into the transaction, according to the report.
Oh, is this her?
There's a little clip of our girl.
Let's see what up with this, yo.
Apparently, Marxists even want to live in posh L.A. neighborhoods.
As protests broke out across the U.S. in the name of Black Lives Matter movement, the group's co-founder Patrice Coolers went on a real estate shopping spree, purchasing about four
or five properties worth well over $3 million. Most recently, she dropped $1.4 million on a
mini compound in LA's Topanga Canyon area. Just a short drive from Balibu.
Part of me kind of admires her because I'm not even smart enough to know how to do that.
Set up an LLC.
I just can't.
This is all I can do, folks.
I can cook like a bitch.
Can be funny at times.
And I look good naked, I was told, by my neighbor.
I was using a leaf blower, bare ass, the other day.
She got a glimpse.
She said, what's that tiny thing between your legs?
I said, mind your fucking business.
I come over there and whack you.
I'm making Dallas nervous right now.
He's like, what the fuck?
There's a fucking goat outside.
It's just a goat.
Mom, there's a fucking goat.
Oh, my God.
I want to bite her.
What?
I want to bite her little face off.
Oh, God. Hey, apparently to bite her. What? I want to bite her little face off. Oh, God.
Hey, apparently the Navy, the United States Navy,
is seeing UFOs every time they go for a ride.
I don't know how else to put that.
U.S. Navy warship was shadowed by two car-sized balls.
Car?
Car size?
I mean, what kind of description is that?
Okay, were they Priuses or were they Escalades?
I mean, this could be a shot from Battleship, the game.
G7, miss, was shadowed by two car-sized balls of light.
Oh, I made two girls nervous jogging by my house today.
You know how, like, sometimes cute college girls jog by?
I said, I yelled
out, there was two of them today, I yelled out to the first one, I go, hey you watch the ID
network? You better! And the other one, there was two girls running like ten
minutes later, I said, girls, they're like, why go off? Do you know if Home Depot carries bone saws?
They think I'm, I never, which is stupid on my part.
I pay them to run by.
Anyways, balls of light.
Eh, who gives a fuck?
Back to the girls.
Balls of light that were unaffected by anti-drone weapon. Did you really think an anti-drone weapon is going to work on something that's from another galaxy?
The fuck?
You think they're buying this shit at Best Buy like you are?
But that would put a little fucking...
Did I say this about Miss Colors?
You fat, nasty, black bitch.
You did now.
Never too late.
Anyways, McHale's Navy shit their pants when they saw these balls.
Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger.
No, Will Robinson.
Danger.
Documentary filmmaker Dave C. Beatty, who produced 2019 film The Nimitz Encounters,
which I even know The Nimitz is a ship, about the famous 2004 U.S. Navy encounter with the Tic Tac object,
revealed the reported sighting from October of 2021.
If you guys, to refresh your memory,
this was kind of where they saw this in the sky.
The film reveals no control services,
no exhaust plume,
a uniform heat signature,
and no visible means of propulsion.
Gary and his shipmates saw the FLIR film on their consoles.
It does the same thing as my
air fryer.
No visible exhaust. At least two objects are said to have
lurked near the 40,500 ton. Do you guys realize a ton
is 2,000 pounds? Times 40,500 ton, you guys realize a ton is 2,000 pounds, times 40,500. Imagine that
falling on your chest when you're changing its tire. It's a boat. Amphibious assault ship.
Why amphibious? What does that mean? You know. I know. I knew you were going to say that.
Don't you guys have amphibious shit in the Army?
I thought amphibious meant it went on land and anyways.
Amphibious assault ship for several nights while it was on training exercise off the east coast of the United States. sources familiar with the encounter as odd and menacing, balls of light are said to have
been following around a half mile behind the ship and about 200 feet above the ocean.
I would have been out of there.
I would have fucking jumped in and swam to wherever.
Look at that.
It looks like a, first of all, that's not an actual picture.
This is a marked up thing, but it looks like two beautiful moons.
That would scare you, too.
Beatty was contacted by a now-retired U.S. Marine officer,
identified only as Mark, regarding this strange episode.
He called him.
Is this moron number one?
Yeah.
Put moron number two on the phone.
The USS Kisarge had been training at the time ahead of an overseas deployment,
including with systems designed to take down enemy drones.
The weapons included anti-drone Ghostbusters.
It's always good when your military equipment is named after a D-movie.
And that's all it was, in my opinion, people like.
Ghostbusters-style backpacks and systems mounted on vehicles.
It's understood that the incident was recorded on video by the crew, but this footage has not
yet been released, so why the fuck should I believe any of it? Marines on board are said
to have believed at first the unexplained objects were part of a surprise training exercise for the
new anti-drone weapons.
However, they discovered the countermeasures did not disrupt the
objects, which were doing swooping maneuvers as they followed the ship.
Mark told Beatty that the USS Kersage radio command about the objects and were
informed the objects were not ours. That was, that's like getting a call, it's
coming from inside the house, the call. That's sort of, that's sort of, you know what I'm saying?
The documentarian is attempting a deeper dive into the event, which is the latest UFO incident reported to have been encountered by the United States Navy.
Maybe they're all drinking really heavy and just seeing shit.
That would be, you know, I'm making light of it, but that would put a chill up your ass.
And you got to believe, folks, I'm not one of these. I've always been saying, hey, until I
come downstairs and there's one of them at my breakfast table having coffee with me, I don't
believe in any of this shit. But lately, there's been some weird shit out there. Just don't come
to my house. By the way, congratulations to the Kansas Jayhawks.
Down by 50.
You know I hate basketball, but I do March Madness.
It does get good, the final four.
Down by 15 at halftime to North Carolina.
And you know what I did?
What do I do?
I taped the whole game, but I fast-forward to the second half.
Watched the second half. Watched the second half.
Enjoyed all the shit you guys did.
Didn't bore myself for the first 40 baskets.
Or all the woke commercials.
All the woke commercials.
I know I'm bad, and I'm white, and I have a penis.
And I'm Christian, and you want me out of here.
I ain't going nowhere.
That's the situation.
Biden doubles down, next story, on Putin being a war criminal.
Wow, Joe Biden, you're a really fucking edgy guy.
I was just reading.
We can't talk.
We can't show bodies on the show.
Dallas had to go back and edit the shit we showed.
Yes, you can't show any.
What the fuck?
It's slowly happening.
Yeah, God forbid you let the world know what's really going on.
But I read in the story, I can talk about.
They're finding girls as young as 10 who were raped.
They have like anal tearage.
Think about that.
You know, drunken Russian psycho fucks.
Tortured people dead.
Burning swastika. They have this Nazi.
That was the excuse or the lie that Putin used to his military that Ukraine was being taken over by
Nazis. And of course, like any armies, a bunch of dummies believe it. Some of them don't. But
they're burning swastikas into people like after they're dead or before they're dead.
They find their bodies and raped a 10-year-old girl.
I mean, you've got to be—this is war.
But there are no rules.
It shouldn't shock you because we've been through it on this planet before.
It's just a fucking—you'd think in 2022, like I said, Putin's in another time and another Russia.
And what are we doing about it?
And look, I know it's a hard, it really is a hard decision.
I mean, I know these are Trump, but as soon as, as soon as,
this is a proxy war anyways, we're given all the equipment.
But soon as we do something, you know, it's on.
And I think Putin knew that being a great chess player. Well, how do you know that? Well, it's on. And I think Putin knew that being a great chess player.
Well, how do you know that?
Well, he's Russian.
But he knew.
He knows.
He's like, call my, you know, he's calling our bluff.
He's like, go ahead, make a fucking move.
And he's using that.
He has been for two months now.
Russian leader Vladimir Putin faced mounting global condemnation,
really, what did Canada get involved?
Monday with President Biden and a growing number of world leaders
calling for a war crimes trial following the discovery in Ukraine of mass graves
and streets littered with bodies of civilians around the suburbs of Kiev.
Who's an animal?
Putin.
Your mother's an animal, you son of a key. Who's an animal? Putin. Your mother's an animal,
you son of a bitch.
But you see,
what is it?
The ICC,
the international court,
whatever the fuck.
They're not part of it.
They never pretended to be part of it.
Russia.
So there you can do all that shit you want.
They're not going to play.
You're going to have to go get them and hang them.
It's like expecting. I can't hear you.
It's like expecting Islamic terrorists
to abide by the Geneva Convention.
Yeah. No, exactly.
Why would you think? This is what I'm saying.
That's why I laugh at the UN and shit.
But like you said, the jihadis,
you think they really give a fuck about your rules?
Oh, no.
They blow themselves up. You think they give give a fuck about your rules? Oh, no. They blow themselves up. You
think they give a shit if you hang them? The guy is brutal. This is Joe Biden talking,
our fake president. I don't know who handed him this dribble. The guy is brutal, and what's
happening is Bucha is outrageous, Biden told reporters, referring to a town near Kiev where
numerous civilians were found dead, some bearing marks of torture or execution. The Ukrainian government said it
has counted more than 400 civilian deaths so far in the suburbs of the capital city.
Well, whose fault is that? I don't know. A lot of countries.
Biden previously branded Putin a war criminal in remarks on March 17th. But at the time,
the White House said he was speaking. Remember, they had to walk it back personally and not outlining a formal U.S.
position. Six days later, the U.S. formally accused Russia of war crimes and said it was
collecting evidence to help prove it. Here is Dinkweed yesterday taking a piss in a field
when they caught him on camera because his prostate is rotten like a melon.
Let's listen to Dummy. This warrants him. He is a war criminal, but we have to gather the
information. We have to continue to provide Ukraine with the weapons they need to continue
the fight. And we have to gather all the detail. Did I did I did I not give you the very
beginning when he comes off and he goes, I said
he was a war criminal. I didn't, right?
Fuck. Because
that maybe was a different speech yesterday.
He goes, remember when I said he was
that's like a little kid. I was right.
That's what he was worried about.
I think it might have been that one.
I don't know. Yeah, he
gets off and goes,
I was right, remember?
Zelensky has described the
scenes in Bucha
where photos and videos show mass graves
and dead men and women face down
on residential roads as evidence of
Russian genocide against Ukrainians.
More than 300 were killed, he said.
Ordinary residents, he says, of an ordinary city near Kiev, Zelensky said,
in an address to the Romanian parliament.
Their hands were tied behind their backs.
They were shot in the back of the head or in the eye, killed just in the streets.
Civilian vehicles were crushed by military equipment, vehicles with people in them.
They raped women and girls,
which...
You're raping me!
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is rape!
Zelensky also warned that the most brutal images
from newly liberated areas,
such as Bucha and Borodayanka,
were still to come,
which he's probably right.
Fucking Biden.
What did I tell you? Who gives a fuck what
you think? Exactly, you dummy. I'll tell you who gives a fuck what he thinks, the people who are
handling him. Don't say a word. We'll take care of it, Joe. Read this. Get out there.
Finally tonight on Meet the Nipples, next COVID con job is on the way, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't meet the nipples.
Next COVID con job is on the way, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's see.
What is it?
April right now?
Yeah, it's about right.
We'll go May, June, July.
It'll be back and forth.
Ba-ba-beep-a-bop-a-bop.
Then around September.
Oh, boy.
The election's right around the corner. Let's call this COVID-97.1 B20 Omicron slash malaria.
C2O, Omicron slash malaria.
After spreading across Asia
and Europe, the BA2
sub-variant,
this is the sub-variant of the
novel coronavirus, is now dominant in the
United States, according to the
United States Centers. We're still listening to the
CDC? Even
after that woman who runs it came out and admitted she was an
asshole?
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Oh, my God.
Here it comes again, huh?
Look at that.
I kill you.
I kill you right now.
Kill me.
I'm right here.
Kill me.
Okay, I come with two chopsticks.
I shove up your ass.
Two chopsticks?
Come over here.
Talk to me in the face.
Like a somebody.
That's the actual coronavirus talking, the original one.
Right now, U.S. COVID cases are at six-month low.
Yeah, so why are you talking to us?
You know why?
And I've said it before, and I'm so right on.
When you watch basketball, you watch TV, every once in a while you'll still see people with masks on.
Just to remind you, just to remind you, we haven't wiped it out completely.
Same way they say slavery.
We've got a long way to go before we get rid of all
the racism. So cases are at a six-month low. But what happens next in the United States,
listen to this. It's a script, and nearby countries is hard to predict. Looking to Europe for hints
isn't enormously helpful, because on that continent,.2 has behaved like Dallas when he's drinking, unpredictably.
Indeed, unpredictably might be exactly what Americans and everyone else should expect as the pandemic enters its 28th month.
It's just so obvious to me.
A patchwork of public health.
And folks, I'm not saying it doesn't exist.
Again, I got it in February. I was sick as a fucking dog whatever i don't know if it was ba2 cd minus f n negative
one over g squared whatever i felt like dog shit a patchwork of public health rules varying
vaccination rates i'm not doing it i don't trust you motherfuckers, and differing amounts of natural immunity
from past infections means
that no two countries are the same.
But even those differences don't fully explain
BA.2's uneven impact.
Seems to go after hip
hoppers and Native Americans. Good night,
everybody.
We almost done? The bottom
line is that it is not predictable what BA II will do.
John Schwartzberg, a professor from DeVry who teaches welding, said,
no, he's a professor emeritus of infectious diseases and vaccine ecology
at the University of California, Berkeley's School of Public Health,
and he plays the flute in the marching band.
Good night, everybody.
He told the Daily Beast that.
Nick DiPaolo said,
Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up!
Shut up!
Amid this confusion, at least one thing remains true, however.
As volatile as BA2 is when it comes to countries and population,
you can still protect yourself by putting two condoms over your head,
duct tape, and a cardboard box with Chinese eye holes.
I call it China. It was made in China.
The Christchurch people, I mean, they eat poodle.
They eat poodle.
They eat poodle.
Still protecting yourself by, you can protect yourself with vaccinate.
They always throw that in there.
That's what sends the chill out my ass.
It's a marketing, you can always protect, yeah?
Fuck you, mother!
Oh, take it easy.
That's not what you like.
Usually there's a pattern with new COVID lineages.
An uptick in positive tests from clinics, hospitals, and wastewater samples correlates
with a proportional
increase in systematic infections. You can see it in the poop and in the water. But when it comes
to BA.2, something different seems to be occurring. Peter Hutz said, defensive back for the Eagles.
Doesn't look like a tough guy. He was drafted out of fucking UCLA.
He's an expert in vaccine development at Baylor College and swallowing loads.
He told the Daily Beast.
BA2 is going up.
He's very happy about it, isn't he?
Look at him.
He won't be dying.
BA2 is going up everywhere in terms of percentage of virus isolated.
I don't know what that means.
In tests,
Hutch explained, yet this translates into many different scenarios in terms of rise in cases.
BA1, which first appeared last fall, quickly drove record infections across much of the world, was the most contagious respiratory virus many virologists had ever seen until BA2 showed up like a cover band
a few weeks after its older cousin. Oh, they're cousins. BA2 could be as much as 80%
more transmissible than BA1, Swartzberg says. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying?
tell me am I lying?
Probably.
BA2 is highly mutated cousin
of the previously dominant BA1
sub-variant of Omicron.
Oh my god, it's not even Omicron,
it's a sub-variant. I think that's what I
got. Because everybody seemed to get
Omicron and it went away in a blink
of a... I was like I was going through
chemo. I couldn't get off the... I had
a fever. I'm still...
I don't know if I should be worried about this.
I told Dallas and his girl,
I'm still, folks,
I'm still waking up all sweaty and shit.
So I think I have the long form version.
I'm still clammy.
And I get the chills a little bit.
So, sayonara.
Anyways, it's related to Omicron. The latest major variant lineage is the scientific term of the SARS-CoV-2 virus. Changes to the spike protein,
which helps the virus to grab onto and infect our cells, make BA1 and BA2 extremely transmissible.
Okay. So if you got it, I don't want to talk to you. Get away
from me. Yeah, that's
everybody at the airport. Alright,
that's enough for today. I got to go poo-poo.
Anyways, I thought it was a
terrific show. I want to thank
Ellen DeGeneres for giving me this shirt.
Her life partner for giving me the hairdo.
You know, and her cousin,
I mean sister, Diane, for the mustache.
What am I saying? I don't know. I don't know, but her cousin, I mean sister, Diane, for the mustache. What am I saying?
I don't know.
I don't know, but it makes money.
About $11 I played during the show.
It's terrific.
It's a real moneymaker.
Since YouTube kicked me in the balls, I owe them $40.
Don't forget to sign up.
Help me out, please, will you?
It's the most honest show on the goddamn Internet.
I go out.
I'm getting on a plane again this weekend.
Somebody fucking reward me. I'm getting on a plane again this weekend.
Somebody fucking reward me.
I'm watching average people on the internet.
They kick a cat in the face and get 70 million viral.
What do I got to do?
Shoot a penguin?
Sounds like a euphemism jerking off.
I'm going to shoot the penguin after the show.
I'm going to choke the pope.
What? Anyways, don't forget to sign up at the penguin after the show. I'm going to choke the Pope. What?
Anyways, don't forget to sign up for thecomicsgym.com.
Please, monthly.
All right.
Don't forget patreon.com.
You can do the same thing.
I think you can sign up at nickdip.com.
I don't even know how it works.
But that's where there's also merchandise and my tour dates.
And cameo.com.
All of a sudden, I guess you have to advertise.
All of a sudden, I'm getting a couple now every day.
If you want me to roast a friend or relative or say happy birthday,
whatever, whatever you want me to do, go to Cameo.com.
They'll tell you how to do it.
That's it, guys.
You guys think and I'll say it.
You're very welcome.
I will see you back here for the same type of show, I guess.
I don't know what I was
saying. Really talked myself into a
corner, didn't I? ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រ guitar solo Outro Music