The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Not Fit To Run...Walk | Nick Di Paolo Show #1575
Episode Date: May 23, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Biden the gaffe machine, micro-plastics and more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven... Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵 You're being very negative, Mr. DiPaolo.
Hey, hey, where are we?
What's going on, folks?
It's Thursday?
It's a filthy Thursday, state of Georgia.
What's going on, hockey fans?
Did you watch any of it?
I don't know why I feel guilty when I talk hockey,
because I just picture all college football redneck fans.
It's your show, though.
I know, but I want to give the people what they want.
Mr. DiPaolo,
no one can be as nasty as you
pretend to be unless they
really wanted to be disliked.
Did she get
headphones on?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
That was filthy.
Rangers lose in New York last night.
Opening game, Florida.
My boy, Kachuk, another Massachusetts kid, opens the game two minutes in
and lays one of these guys out.
Lays another guy out.
Then gets the first goal.
I love Florida, man.
It's going to be a good series.
Rangers are very good, I'm just saying.
Anyways, you guys don't give a fuck.
You're waiting for college football like me.
But I'm telling you, in the meantime, I can't sell you enough on this sport.
If you don't like it, there's something wrong with your panties.
What else, Dallas?
Anything last night I should know about?
Nope.
All right. Thanks for the help.
I'm in a good mood because it's Thursday, folks.
Oh, you know what I did? I made another shepherd's pie.
Another one?
Yes.
Lamb?
I was craving it, but I had to use beef because the old lady couldn't handle the lamb.
Gianna, you like lamb?
I know you did.
Oh, you had? That's right. You had some of it.
I forgot.
Yeah. Put some of my yingling in there, too.
Had a nice beer taste to it.
And that's good.
You eat a piece of shepherd's pie
and lay on the couch.
It's fucking great.
Get up, I look like two months pregnant.
I show early. Ah, fuck it. Let's go on.
You know what that means. Let's move on.
Opening story. There's clips all this week of Biden.
Look, we know he's a gaffe monster, but the poor bastard.
Honest to God, his wife is such a twat for leaving him out there to dry.
It really is senior abuse it's insane what they're doing with this guy and i'm saying it again i've said it a
hundred times he's not gonna be the nominee there is no way he is gonna be the nominee if he is
if he is they already put stipulations on the debate with trump that has to be cbs cnn you know
home field advantage for him and they do that because if that's the case the moderators who
will be pro-biden will end up debating trump like they did last time they'll ask him poignant
questions and ask joe what his favorite color is he'll still get that wrong um but that's the only strategy they have if he's the nominee and he's not gonna be
and people say well who's it gonna be i don't know might be somebody we've never heard of
might be oprah has to be a surprise i don't know but this guy can't walk, talk, fucking, honestly. And I was thinking, when Trump was in office about a month,
remember the whole world was saying, all the Dems were saying,
25th Amendment, he's not fit, he's not fit.
We have hardly heard that at all.
And I guess the thinking there is let him hang himself.
If they plucked him out, he's not fit.
We know that a month into his presidency out he's not fit we know that a year a month into his
presidency that he's not fit for the job but if you plucked him out of there you'd be doing the
dems a favor they really must not have anybody to let him hang this fucking no some good luck
defending your record in california anyways uh all over the tv this week he spoke to the NAACP. It was about a, I don't know, 12-minute speech,
made nine errors.
And the DNC put those errors out there.
Did I mention this yesterday? I don't know if I did.
They made those public without anybody asking for them,
which should make a, you know,
a bell should go off in your head going,
why would they do that?
Because they're ready to make it. They're showing you, hey, this guy, you know, I bell should go off in your head going, why would they do that? Because they're ready to make it.
They're showing you, hey, this guy, you know, I think they're ready to do something.
Why would they do that and make them whatever?
Here he is.
This is, I think the first one's the NAACP, where he made nine gaffes in about two minutes.
Listen to this shit.
When I was vice president, things were kind of bad during the pandemic.
Why are you yelling? I'm humbled to receive this organization.
He thinks he's the vice president a couple months ago during the pandemic.
It defines the character and consequence of what we do. Our
deliberative commencement at Morehouse College. It truly inspires us.
Inspires us. Exp's an expanded affordable care
act. Saving millions of families.
$800,000 in premium.
$8,000 a year in premium.
$800,000 a year in premium.
$8,000 a year. It was $800,000 is what he's trying to say.
Honest to God.
Go ahead, stupid.
To buy homes.
We're cracking down on corporate landlords
who keep rents down,
black moms who are nearly three times more likely to die from pregnancy complications than a white woman.
He calls the erectionists who stormed Capitol Hill.
Erectionists.
Donald Trump has said if he loses again in November, there will be, quote, bloodshed.
His spirit endures. The NAAC spirit endures the NAAC spirit endures NAAC he
didn't want to say P because it pisses pants a bit of subliminal message
erectionists look the guys that went into the Capitol were excited to be
there but I didn't let's not let's not get fucking crazy here erectionist oh my
aching stem this guy is you don't believe me, here's some more. This is, go ahead, roll the next one.
A campaign that's about negative attacks and the one about what we're for because we cannot get reelect, we cannot win this reelection. Excuse me, we can only reelect Donald Trump.
You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck.
You know that?
It's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
It's so fucking stupid.
He ends it by going, re-elect Trump.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my aching stem.
Do you believe this shit?
Do you believe it?
So there you go.
You guys, I don't know who voted for that, but it wasn't me.
Let's move on to shooting blanks.
A peer review study published last week in the official journal of the Society of Toxicology
indicated that human and canine testicles, I don't understand the pairing there,
are teeming with microplastics.
This may help account for the precipitous global decline in male fertility, not to mention
male, just testosterone behavior. I wouldn't argue with any of this. Alex Jones is on top of this
when it first started. Nature Medicine noted in an editorial last month
that the world is awash with over 6 billion fags.
I mean, tons of plastic.
MNPs are found everywhere on the planet,
including the ocean's air in the food supply.
What the hell's going on out here?
I don't know, Vince.
Roughly
353 million tons of plastic
waste were produced in
2019 alone.
353 million. A ton
is 2,000 pounds, folks. You do the math.
Nature Medicine indicated that
it's particularly bad news since
plastics contain over 10,000 chemicals
including endocrine
disruptors and cancer-causing carcinogens,
and can easily steal into the human body.
Plastics find their way into the human body in the form of tiny particles called webs.
What?
What the fuck is that?
Called microplastics, less than five millimeters in diameter.
Picture the head of my dick.
called microplastics, less than five millimeters in diameter.
Picture the head of my dick.
And nanoplastics, less than one oomph.
It says oomph, one oomph in diameter.
That's French.
Microplastics and nanoplastics, MNPs, can arise from a variety of sources, including by design, as in the case of microbeads used in cosmetic and personal care products, or
inadvertently as the result of the degradation of large plastic products, such as through
the laundering of synthetic clothes or abrasion of tires.
Just say it everywhere.
They do.
Everywhere on the planet, including the ocean's air and the food supply.
And you wonder why every third person has cancer.
Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I'll be talking about Antonio Brown.
He's in more trouble.
Not with girls, with money.
Surprise.
And Kansas City Chief Kicker Harrison Butker.
Finally, people coming to his defense on his team.
The coach and a couple of other big names.
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