The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Plant In Fani's Office | Nick Di Paolo Show #1532
Episode Date: February 27, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Russia saving Tucker, Biden's plant and more! Today's episode is sponsored by Nugenix! Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T pl...us a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text NICK to 231-231. Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵 Good morning, my neighbors!
Hey, fuck you!
How's it going, folks?
Welcome on a Tuesday to the show.
Took an Advil PM last night, and you know how that works.
Excuse me.
You have a certain window. That's the only thing that knocks me out, by the way. It works.
You have a certain window, though.
Once you take it, you should get in bed like a half hour later
and not fight the fucking power.
Fucking. I'm like, I'm in bed by like one i pick up my phone start watching knockouts and street fights and shit it's like 220 i'm like what
and now i feel like i'm fucking brain dead oh horrible makes for a great show. Good night. Mother of God.
What were you doing last night?
You sent me a picture of the bedroom.
You repainted it?
Yeah, we repainted.
It looked awesome.
Both of them.
I thought you were doing some hippie shit.
And I go, yeah, that's nice.
And then it looked like a nice hotel room.
Yeah, the first one we joked that a scat student did it. That's what I thought. You were in a dorm room. Yeah, the first one we joked that a scat student did it.
That's what I thought. You were in a dorm room.
Now, you got to start with the swirls, then you have to blend it all
for the actual mix to go the way that it did.
Oh, really?
Fuck that. I put aluminum
siding.
I wonder if people still do that.
Do they have aluminum siding anymore?
Oh, my God.
That would be fucking precious.
All I know is when you watch clips,
like if you watch shows like the ID Network
and they're interviewing people,
you know, somebody was murdered in 1978 or 1984.
Everybody's got that brown paneling in their liver.
What the fuck?
Isn't it weird how that looked?
We thought that looked good.
Like bell bottoms.
Anyways.
What did I?
Yeah, it's I fucking watched the Bruins lose again in a shootout.
The fuck?
By the way, Parsonak had a hat trick last night.
He's like, he was fourth going into the game in goals in the whole league.
Now he's probably second.
Fucking never seen anything like it.
But anyways, they lost like the third time in a row.
They lost two overtimes and then a shootout,
and they suck late in the game.
They choke.
Anyways, it's better than them being undefeated
and going into the...
It really is.
I hope they're getting all the shit out of it.
Anyways, I'll board you people now
if I know you don't like hockey
and you watch those groids trying to dunk a basketball.
Call that entertainment.
Russia saves Tucker. We got some good
stories today. All of a sudden yesterday
a bunch of them broke that were kind of
weird. Moscow man
was arrested for allegedly accepting
payment from Ukrainian
intelligence to plant
an explosive on Tucker
Carlson's vehicle targeting the American journalist
during his interview with Putin. How fucking weird is that? So they busted some guy.
What's this motherless fuck's name? Take it easy. We'll find out in a second.
That was one of the day people are going, you're crazy to go over there. This is why you got to
love this fucking guy. I want to confirm first, it makes for a hell of a story,
I want to hear Tucker's take on it.
No reason why it wouldn't be true.
You know what I mean?
Fucking Biden would tell Ukraine, yeah, he's over there.
You know?
Because in his eyes, Tucker's with Putin, which he's not.
He's just fucking finding out the truth.
According to reporter Simon Atiba,
the man who has been arrested
was reportedly being paid by Ukrainian intelligence
to plant an explosive device in a vehicle.
This reminds me of, you know what,
Tony Montana following the car with a bomb.
I tell you, no kiss.
Plant an explosive device in a vehicle used by Tucker
while he was there to interview a Russian president, Vladimir Putin.
I hope Tucker had one of those things like the mobs used to carry with a mirror on it,
and they look under your foot.
Nice way to live.
A video has just been released showing a 35-year-old man by the name of
Velyasov Pyotr, the fucking, fuck off, fucking Russian cunt. Velyasov Pyotr, there he is,
also known as Dimitri Martin, comedian. Looks like a kid on spring break
Alexia Vic admitting his role in the alleged plot here's some audio of him
something that might be of interest on the other side of the conversation
between your Helen let's listen to the Russian. I'll translate since this...
I took Russian for a week.
Go ahead.
My name is Alex, born in 88, Podolsk.
In November 23, I was recruited by the main
Directorate of Intelligence of the Ministry of Defense
of Ukraine via Internet.
I took dance lessons with Michael Jackson in a fag.
No, I was trained in working with special communications,
collecting and detonating.
You can just play it through.
Explosive devices and working with cash days.
I benched 100 pounds.
January 31st, I received a task for carrying
to pick up an explosive device and place it under a car.
What were you promised?
Money, $4,000.
Where the explosive device was supposed to be used?
In the underground parking of the Four Seasons Hotel in Moscow.
I was supposed to pick up the explosive device
from a hiding place and place it under the car.
Four Seasons, Moscow.
I was supposed to pick up the explosive device from a hiding place and place it under the car.
What did it say?
Who planned it?
And he says,
Do you know who the target was now?
And he goes, yes.
I thought it was Katie Couric.
But no, American journalist Tucker Carlson.
What went wrong?
I was detained at the preparation stage.
I guess I suck at what I do.
I'm sorry for what I did, he says.
I wonder why he's apologizing.
And what's his fate?
Who knows?
I don't think it's good when you get caught.
Right?
I don't know.
Poot won't be happy.
He's out there spilling his beans,
even though they look like the good guys in this.
Either he's killed or he's sent to Siberia.
Or he has tea at the Four Seasons.
Or he goes for a little jump.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Your next stop,
the 18th floor of the fucking
ground round.
What?
I mean, the Holiday Inn
in Moscow.
Tucker Carlson visited Moscow
in the beginning of February
to interview Russian
President Putin.
Ex-Fox News host said
that the Biden administration
had illegally spied on his text messages, and this is fact, by the way, you can check all this,
and leaked them to the media in order to prevent him from interviewing Putin three years ago.
What are you so scared of, Joe? What a corrupt piece of shit, and there's people online defending this fucker. We are so finished as a species. It's
creepy.
He also said that he was
pretty certain that they did the same
thing last month, but he decided
to go to Moscow anyway.
Jesus.
That's where I should have hit
the button. Excuse me,
maybe I can find it.
Balls on this prick.
That's called doing real journalism, by the way.
Tucker's out there
putting his neck on the line. Doesn't have
to. Comes from
money. Earns his own
money.
Must have the biggest following on X
ever.
There's over 100 million people watching. Show some shit i wonder why that is you know what because he's pretty damn good
and once again all you hear is bad mouth and from the left about tucker and
did they what are they born crooked or do they really see the world i can't figure it out i lay
in bed mentally Mentally ill.
They are.
It's like, it really is.
I used to laugh at that phrase.
A liberal is a mental illness.
It really is fucking a distorted view of the world.
And they'll say the same thing about me and us.
That's what's creepy.
That's how you know it doesn't end good.
It's like looking in a funhouse mirror.
Hey, in the second half of the show, guys, I'll be talking about a professor,
and they always, professors today,
you know, always claiming racism,
but this one involves Taylor Swift.
It's fucking even crazy,
even for these times,
as far as racism claims.
Also, Peter Navarro,
former guest on the show,
he was the head of manufacturing
and trade for Trump.
He's heading
to jail in like a week or two so he spoke at cpac this weekend it was like a seven minutes we'll
show you a few minutes from such a good speaker and he hits it on the nose what's going on and
it's creepy the parallels between what they're doing to him and what they're doing to trump
is it's unprecedented which makes it even creepier exclusively on mug club where do you get that you
gotta join go to nickdip.com to join it's well worth your time ladies and gentlemen hey boys
and girls head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats t-shirts hoodiesodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the
same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts.
Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store.
Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's do a little business to pay the bills.
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Biden had a plant in Fannie Willis's office, and I don't mean like a fucking daisy or a
rose or, in his case, a dead
cactus. Yeah, they're not crooked. Obama spied on Trump on the way in. This jerk-off's got a plant.
Anybody? I don't understand why we have all this on them and nobody gets prosecuted. It's kind of
weird, isn't it, folks? You ever ask yourself that?
The Biden administration, this is interesting, planted a Democrat operative inside a Fulton County office to target former President Donald Trump.
Multiple sources familiar with the Fulton County District Attorney's Office say, say if the Biden administration planted the operative as the sources say it would present
a strong argument that the administration interfered in the 2024 presidential uh election
oh do you do you think I'm gonna find out what the hell happened here there's the two lovers
she started banging him before she fucking hired him and lying about it.
One significant figure, that's Wade. He's actually a likable guy, but you know,
dumb as a bag of hammers. Imagine this guy makes a million bucks here, he's stupid as a bag of shit.
She's even more retarded. Just a nasty street hooker who I have more qualifications to be fucking an attorney.
One significant figure is overlooked in the Fulton County scandal concerning Fulton County
prosecutor Fonny Willis.
What does she think?
It's Fanny, like fat ass.
What are you, French?
Fucking Tony.
It's like Tony Dorsett was Tony Dorsett his whole life
until he got to the Cowboys, Tony Dorsett.
Okay, Frenchman.
Fannie Willis and her alleged lover and fellow prosecutor,
Nathan Wade, the sources said,
meet Jeff DeSantis.
That's with an I, not an E.
The county's deputy district attorney,
that means her right-hand man,
with professional experience far greater than the average county employee. His resume,
he's more qualified to do what Fannie Willis does than she is. DeSantis worked on Willis's
2020 campaign. These are the weasels behind the scenes that know how to play the game.
So he worked on Willis' 2020 campaign
and was the former executive director
of the Democrat Party of Georgia
with extensive knowledge of campaign finance law.
He was also the deputy director of compliance for the DNC,
according to his official bio.
He's got like 19 other credits that I'm not even going to read
that make him, to me, more qualified than her to do her job.
Sources credit DeSantis with colluding with White House to target Trump.
DeSantis did this about the Trump case.
He's the one.
He's the one pulling all the strings.
I don't know nothing about that.
Oh, you do.
He was the one that walled her, Willis, off. He was in every important
meeting. He is the brainchild behind this. That is the connection to the White House.
Who said that? I forget. A source. Oh, that's right. A source. That's right. Mr. Source.
Andrew Source said that. Citing his deep history and connections to the Democrat Georgia machine,
which we all know is filthy after the last election,
they were 100% certain that DeSantis was the inside man
planted in the Fulton County office by who?
By the Biden administration,
because they're filthy, scandalous cocksuckers.
DeSantis is the one pulling the strings
on this whole thing a second source said.
That was Joe Source.
Related to Andrews.
Everybody heard Fannie testify.
Listen to this.
This is what the person says that's in the office.
Everybody heard Fannie testify.
It's no secret that she's not smart.
Couldn't say dumb
because she's a black woman.
She's an ignorant, angry, fuck racist.
That is how she sounds
and acts every day of the week.
You fat, nasty black bitch.
She's horrible.
Anyone that has common sense
knows that the White House has been involved in this prosecution.
This shouldn't just miraculously happen.
Of course, she's, Willis, not going to prosecute the former president of the United States without the current administration giving her the thumbs up to do so.
Which makes perfect sense.
Would she even know how to go about it?
So he,
Biden's fingerprints are all over
all these cases.
And they're screaming democracy is in danger
if Trump gets elected.
Meanwhile, this guy's a fucking dictator
doing third world banana republic
tactics. Un-fucking-real.
But you keep voting Democrat, you schmucks.
Look at the guy on the left going, ugh.
Sources speculated that DeSantis was instrumental,
look at the chins on him,
in selecting grand jurors for the Trump case
based on voter registration data.
In other words, he made sure
that Trump couldn't get a fair trail.
Part of why you're raising money as a candidate is to get money to buy the data about who
you are, who you, who are your voters.
DeSantis, as the former head of the state Democrat party, he's going to know, he's going
to know you know the data in Georgia, one source says.
There's not one conservative person on that grand jury.
That's an understatement.
Sources also revealed, so he didn't get a fair trial in D.C.
He's not going to get one in D.C., New York.
Sources all revealed that DeSantis was a member of,
and again, this isn't DeSantis.
Willis's transition team, when she went from a guy to a woman.
Fat fuck you.
Add a dick to me.
Transition team after she won the election in November of 2020.
DeSantis helped this guy, her boyfriend Wade, select employees for the new office.
Again, this will all come out and, you know, okay,
so business will go on.
DeSantis was there in the capacity
to be a political strategist.
Hiding in the DA's office
and her bedroom,
a source told Breitbart News.
Oh, that dirty cogsucker.
That's good, Joe.
They've already said, there's a piece in The Atlantic,
which is the most far-left publication there is,
how even if Trump wins, they're already, like, creating a strategy.
Strategy.
Oh, my God, I'm George W.
Didn't he say strategy?
Strategy.
He said strategery. Oh, yeah,. I'm George W. Didn't he say strategy? Strategy. He said strategery.
Oh, yeah. He said strategery.
And I just took...
It's his fault.
It's a tragedy and strategy.
That's right. It's a tragedy.
Oh, my aching stomach.
Yeah, they're saying they're not going to certify him.
Yeah.
Which is the exact thing that they've been complaining...
So they're going to disrupt an actual certification,
which is what they were complaining about with January 6th.
Well, yeah. Well, yeah.
They're like, well, you tried it. We can try it.
Only, well, when?
They're also exempt from all the rules.
We know how to play the game. No, exactly.
Which makes you wonder.
Then it's time to start fucking
whatever.
I'm tired.
Hey, for those
of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. for those of you guys
on Mug Club stick around for the second half of the show
the rest of you go fuck yourselves
what cut
everyone else go to
nickdip.com join to get my full
show why would you want to stop here
and you're going to get
Steven Crowder's full show which is
about three hours by the way
and just chock full of facts and
there's funny involved and all kinds
of stuff, and a
whole lot more. And while you're at
Nick Dipp, check out, I got a date on
May 11th. Tommy brought me another
one I think for the weekend before.
I'm not supposed to announce it yet, but I will anyways.
Soul Joles, I think
I'm going to be doing. We haven't signed
on the dotted line yet, but the weekend before Sol Jowls and
POTS
POTS
POTS damn, what is it? POTS?
POTS something PA. Wash the POTS.
Anyways, May 11th, Count Basie Theater. Hey, we've already sold 502 tickets.
Not bad for two months away. Let's fill it up!
Wanna win this war, goddammit. And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down
Cause once I get started I go to town
Cause I'm not like everybody else, no, no
I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else
I'm not like everybody else
And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else
And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else
And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job
Like everybody else
Cause I'm not like everybody else
See you singing, what are you?
I'm not like everybody else