The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Racist, Period! | Nick Di Paolo Show #1459

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump trouncing Biden, Biden's racist gaffe and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of St...even Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 you could have let it play oh you did, everybody. I was just powdering my nose in the ladies' room. Somebody's got a case of the Mondays. Oh, Colin Quinn would love that one. How are you, folks? It is Monday. I'm a little out of sorts here. As Dallas knows, work with somebody in their 60s. It's like doing a new show for the first time every day.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Anyhow, great to be with you. I guess what I'm supposed to say. And don't forget to watch me on Crowder Wednesday night. We're going to be live streaming that second debate. And you know me, I'm a sniper at those live things. We sit there, drink a little
Starting point is 00:01:21 bourbon, and start, you know, unloading on people should be fun yeah that's Wednesday night so but we will be running a show here too for you that's what we do
Starting point is 00:01:36 if we have to put one together ahead of time because we don't want to leave you out but on some days when I travel we can't you know it's impossible but anyways uh real quick uh interesting weekend as you know me and dallas are college football fanatics and you guys i don't know i hope you are a lot of people you know in love with the nfl that too but uh real quick i'll just rip them off the top of my head miami dolphins put up 70 first team in since
Starting point is 00:02:03 1966 to do that in the NFL against Denver, who since Russell Wilson landed there, I don't know what. That organization's in free fall. It's hilarious. How do you give up 70? Ming, yeah. And, oh, frigging, what was the other big story in the NFL? Well, I don't know about the nfl but something's
Starting point is 00:02:25 wrong in colorado yeah yes me and dallas also if you knew anything about football you're like oh deon's got a big mouth it's gonna get shut this weekend not that he didn't play a real team tcu's a real team but they just snuck by in that one and they got pushed all over the field by Colorado State and just lost that one by, I mean, won that one by a hair. And you got a fucking Nebraska who's there. And then they go to Oregon, ranked number 10. Ducks ain't fucking playing. And that coach was pissed at Deion. He had a great quote. Because we play for points, wins, not fucking clicks. And, you know, we play here, not in Hollywood. Anyways, they got smoked. And they're going to get smoked even worse this weekend going to USC.
Starting point is 00:03:12 It's going to shut Deion's fucking hood trap. And, again, I like and dislike Deion. I like his brashness. Greatest ever to play defensive back. You can't even fucking argue it. But too much hood, too much yappity-yappity. It makes it hard on himself, you know, and his kids. I'm happy for them.
Starting point is 00:03:29 But you're going to get smacked again, and they get four more ranked opponents. So don't be surprised if they have a shit record at the end of the season. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. And Ohio State, Notre Dame was the game of the weekend. It was the game of the weekend going into the weekend, and it lived up to its hype. Ohio State pulls it on the last game of the weekend. It was the game of the weekend going into the weekend, and it lived up to its hype. Ohio State pulls it on the last play of the game. It was phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I'm supposed to go with Gerald, who's Crowder's right-hand guy, went to Notre Dame, played football at Notre Dame, and me and him are supposed to take a trip because I've never been. That's on my bucket list. But again, October, I'm like, I can't get on a plane when I don't have to get on a plane. Anyways, I'll do it someday, folks. I'm in my late hundreds. I'll drive there with a fucking RV
Starting point is 00:04:11 with my wife tied up in the kitchen. I don't know what else. Let's move on. I know you guys, some of yous are fags. You don't like sports. Headline, Trump trousing shit for brains. That's what it said right in the paper. Donald Trump scored an explosive 10-point lead over President Biden in a recent Washington Post ABC News. That's an ABC News poll.
Starting point is 00:04:36 The 77-year-old former president trouts the bitch 52 to 42 in a hypothetical rematch of the 2020 contest, up significantly from Trump's 49 to 43 lead during a similar survey from the outlets in May. I am your voice. I hear you, bitch. Heads are exploding at the Jeff Bezos Amazon Washington Post as President Trump now leads by nationally by 10 point. People said that's shocking. Yeah, it's shocking that it's not 90 to 10, Trump's lead. Honestly, I don't even believe it's that close. In a perfect world, I guess. Again, it's just a lie. It's a fucking lie. Any poll you read that he's not beaten, this guy, seriously, you could pull a guy off the street and he'd be beaten. Biden is by far, he's everything they were trying to say Trump was.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Not fit for office, blah, blah. He's the worst piece of shit. Doesn't even know what he's saying. And again, it's not him. It's his handlers pushing this agenda that nobody agrees with. And really, it's that close? Suck a bag of fucking ass cheese. What?
Starting point is 00:05:44 Delicious. Delicious. What? Delicious. Delicious. Bon appetit. President Trump now leads Biden by 10. Senior Trump advisor Jason Miller boasted on X. During the 2016 election, Trump clinched about 46% support. And during 2020, he nabbed just shy of 47%. You want me to believe that he lost the last election?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Again, which nut do you want to kiss? Across the board, the polls spell bad news for jerk-off Biden with voters souring on his stewardship of the economy. Oh, is that what we're getting? Stewardship? Economy, immigration, age, and more. In other words, he blows on every level. Here's what's bad about this.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Because we know the Dems are going to try to steal it again. They stole the last one. But this time it's going to be glaring. When they stole it last time, you know, Biden was in the lead and blah, blah, blah. But this time it's going to be so glaring, hopefully there's a real insurrection. The kind where people on the left get punched in the stomach. I don't want to kill anybody. Biden's campaign and administration have boasted about the progress of so-called Bidenomics.
Starting point is 00:06:55 But 44% surveying in the poll argue that their financial picture deteriorated like one of fucking Hunter's paintings. Under the watch. Only 30% look favorably on this handling of the economy, while 37% approve of his performance overall. Bullshit. You 37, that's just a fucking flat lie, compared to
Starting point is 00:07:17 56% who disapprove. Again, that should be 160. On immigration, Biden's approval clocks in at 20 y 3. Con. Now I'm in deep shit. Cuatro, I don't know, 40, whatever, y cinco. Strongly disapproved, 45% disapproving. You hear that? Oh, Sister Christian. Then a considerable 74% of voters feel that he's too old. Wow, you must be detectives for another term. While about 50% say there's no place in the Oval Office for undergarments filled with poop. 50% say the same about Trump. Really? Even though he's touring like he's Nugent in 1970? At age 80, Biden's already the oldest sitting piece of shit president
Starting point is 00:08:07 and would be 86, but he's going to be dead in a year just from health reasons. The conclusion of a second term. A majority of Americans, including Democrats, have told pollsters that he's too goddamn old. Trump would also be the oldest president, so what, ever in office if he served a full second non-consecutive term. Also, leads
Starting point is 00:08:31 Biden by one point nationally in the latest real clear, really? Real clear politics poll. Do you believe that, Eve? Buncho Biden! Buncho Biden! Very clear difference being that Trump has not gone anywhere close to the dementia levels that Biden's gone to. That's exactly the energy levels.
Starting point is 00:08:52 The guy's fucking golfing on the weekends, flying and doing rallies off the top of his head, by the way, for an hour. Who's not fit? And even people on the left now. Like I told you, he's not going to be the nominee. I've been telling you people He is not gonna be the fucking nominee Because they're getting what you hear it now now they're chattering Newsom's keeps denying he's running for president. But there he is by the way and every every clip with a hard-on in the background with his greasy hair and his I That would be my favorite.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Please let him be the nominee. Please. And let him try to fucking defend his politics, his state, and how it's gone since he became governor. I mean, it'll be hilarious.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It'll be beyond... And again, if they steal it again, it'll be hilarious it'll be beyond and again if they steal it again it'll be like what whatever as the Russians used to say it's not who it's not who they vote for it's who counts the votes or something like whatever I kind of fucked it up but it's
Starting point is 00:10:00 who counts the votes that's important hey in the second half of the show ladies and gentlemen Kind of fucked it up, but it's who counts the votes. That's important. Hey, in the second half of the show, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be talking about... Talking about... I'm going to be talking about... Oh, I... I'm going to be talking about... You know what?
Starting point is 00:10:23 The fucking... Oh, my goodness. Boy, you're going to have to edit this. No, this is too good. It's like watching a train wreck. I know. Just keep going. It is Monday. What does bad signs mean?
Starting point is 00:10:39 What's that story? The New Jersey terror signs. The New Jersey, yeah. I'll be talking about all of a sudden in New Jersey, motorists on the highway are seeing, you know, if you see something say something sort of like the day after 9-11, all of a sudden those are popping up. And by the way, that's where they flocked to, New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:10:57 They never left there. In Jersey City, I've seen it all. So all of a sudden those are popping up. That's kind of odd, right? Jersey City. I've seen it all. So all of a sudden, those are popping up. That's kind of odd, right? And we got footage of a guy did the running with the bulls, and it's his gory, I don't know, there's a gory. It's great. The bull wins. That's all I'm going to say. I'll show it to you in slow motion. Super slow motion. Oh, it's graphic. By the way, it's exclusive. You're on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com
Starting point is 00:11:34 to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Or calm, as my wife says from Connecticut. Who, Holly. Who's Holly? What's Holly? You mean a motorcycle? No, Holly. The girl Holly? You mean Holly? Yeah. Okay. Shut it.
Starting point is 00:12:14 What are you laughing at me? Going off on a tangent? I'm like Bill Cosby. Then he comes back ten minutes later to what he was talking about. It's a sign of a sharp mind or a crazy mind. Let's move on to, I love this headline, MC Shithead. I think I've called him Shithead twice. President Biden butchered LL Cool J's name and then referred to the rapper as boy before quickly. Let me a little fun fact for you folks. When I did the Arsenio Hall show,
Starting point is 00:12:43 I think it was the second or third time, LL Cool J was the other guest. And I'm up there doing a bit about how much I hate rap. And boy, he was called to me backstage after. It was all food laid out after. He cut in front of me and grabbed the fucking ribs and shit. I'm not going to say nothing. He's a big dude. Fuck you up later, man. Look at him, he looks like a fucking linebacker. Anyways, Biden referred to the rapper as boy, proving once again, he did that to another black politician, so proving he's the racist. Donald Trump's not the, when you say boy twice to black, that's not a fucking accident. I swear to God that's, anyways, before quickly correcting himself while delivering,
Starting point is 00:13:26 so he was sharp enough to correct himself. That's why I know he's a racist. While delivering a speech to the Congressional Black Caucus. Why do we even have that? Huh? What do you say we get rid of that on day one, Mr. Trump? Congressional Black Caucus. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:13:42 Evening at the Apollo? Good times? Great show, by the way. No need for that. Boy, nothing says united like black caucus, Indian caucus, Hispanic caucus, exactly, Native American, hippo caucus, all that lesbian caucus shit. Didn't even like caucus. Anyways, congressional blackcus on Saturday night. Unbelievable. Hey, where are the white women at?
Starting point is 00:14:09 Take it easy, Joe. LL Cool J, whose birth name is James Todd Smith, and MC Light, I like his old stuff. There's a new rapper out, MC Bud Light. Fucking big fag. Received Phoenix Award for the the musical oh, a Phoenix Award for musical, you call that music, hip hop? as Christopher Moltisanti said
Starting point is 00:14:33 on The Sopranos some ignorant poetry some, no, some ignorant ditzun poetry, which is a racist word by a guy with a fake drum beat behind he goes, I could do that fucking shit which is a racist word by a guy with a fake drum beat behind. He goes, I could do that fucking shit.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Award for their musical contributions at the, by the way, I'm a Rick Ross fan, at the annual awards dinner in Washington, D.C. during the CBC's 52nd legislative conference. Here is some of the best footage of Joe Biden. Again, I read the comments after and somebody just said, please make it stop. And it had to be some guy who probably votes Democrat. But here he is being his racist self. Two of the great artists of our time representing the groundbreaking legacy of hip-hop in America. LLJ Cool J.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Pause. Pause. I said to Dallas, because I know comedy. I understand what evokes a laugh. I know why the people laugh. They thought he was fucking around. Or they thought they put it in the teleprompter so he could get a laugh there. Because that was a nice fat laugh. Right?
Starting point is 00:15:38 Fucking, I'm telling you. They don't even, if you were doing an SNL sketch of Biden, you would have him say that line and go, uh, like he did. But here comes the best part. By the way, that boy's got, he's got, man's got biceps bigger than my thighs. I think he's an MC Light. Both of you. Thank you. Because they're both have the light.
Starting point is 00:16:03 MC Light goes, what about my thighs, bitch? You see how quick he corrected himself? Because they said to him a thousand times before he went on, do not say boy. He's done that to a couple of black people and said to black people, if you don't vote for me, you're not black. There's the biggest piece of shit racist ever. Friends with Senator Byrd, don't tell me me, you're not black. There's the biggest piece of shit racist ever. Friends would send it to Bird.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Don't tell me about Trump. You get no fucking evidence. Oh, God, make it stop, please. Oh, I put that in there. He's making a total mockery of this country. X, you know, that's Twitter.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Use it at Johnny Patriot. Reply to the post with the video. The president has a history of referring to African-Americans as boy, a term considered a racial epithet. Can we let that go now? Because I've seen actual white athletes go, that a boy. And, you know, I mean, that younger generation, can we let that? You see how they keep the shit going? They keep the hate.
Starting point is 00:17:09 And black guys love to refer to white boy. You know, they love it. So, again, if you want equality, it's going to go both ways. Because the way people are saying that today is saying that they don't mean, the fucking kids today have no idea. But keep it alive, media. A term considered a racial epithet
Starting point is 00:17:25 when used to describe black men. There are white niggers. Now that guy's a racist. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word. I don't, bitch. Earlier this year, Biden used the word while referring to Maryland's first black governor, Wes Moore. Is it because we're black? Apparently. The president has frequently used Boyd to refer to younger politicians. See, now they try to make an excuse for him. Though he took flack while on the campaign trail, I would say malarkey, for using the term to describe his ability
Starting point is 00:18:00 to work with segregationist senators. Yeah, which he should have taken flack. Can you imagine? Trump wouldn't even have got elected if he had that history. Senator Cory Booker, who's the biggest blowhard and fucking new wave asshole. A black guy, a younger black politician
Starting point is 00:18:17 who likes to keep the hate going and the victim status going. This is his Spartacus moment, remember? Senator Cory Cook, a Democrat, New Jersey, then competing with Biden for the Democratic presidency nomination, rebuke him in a
Starting point is 00:18:34 statement saying, and I quote, you don't joke about calling black men boys. Okay, call the cops. Fucking jerk off. See that? You see how they hold on to that victim status and shit?
Starting point is 00:18:53 You're telling me the coach of Alabama, Nick Saban, goes, attaboy! Somebody makes a catch to a black kid saying it as a right. You guys make the rules. You guys on the left. And some of you black people still play by them. I don't know why. You say white people evil. Those are the ones you vote for. I keep pointing it out. We're never going to get along until you go, you know what? Fucking Trump. Motherfucker
Starting point is 00:19:13 got cash up in that bitch. He ain't no shame. He ain't no shame. That's right. That's actually right. He ain't do good. My favorite line ever in history of SNL when Louis was imitating a black, imitating like a black guy, too. What was that big black girl's name who fucked up every line? Whatever. Leslie, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:44 But he goes, where'd you get them them nails where'd you get them nails did them fleek where'd you get them nails bit oh my god help me help me ladies and men hey um for those of you on mug club right now stick around for the second half of this tremendous show everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show. That's when I drop my drawers and show you my perennium. Perennium? Did I say that right? Perennial favorites.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Yeah, and get Steven Crowder's full show. Not to mention the funny Brian Callen of the Hodge twins, the giant Alex Jones every Friday, not to mention the undercover unit that they basically got some guys, I told you, from Project Veritas. He's putting together, and he's still recruiting heavy hitters. guitar solo Outro Music

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