The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bitch McConnell Steps Up | Nick Di Paolo Show #472

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

Dems take impeachment to the house. Pence rules out 25th amendment. Crooked Hillary chimes in.

🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks? Welcome to the big show On a Wednesday Craziness continues, does it not? Are you reading the news and going, is this really happening in America? Oh, yeah, it's been a long time coming. What you're watching is the Dems and the Libs and the dirty media and everybody else involved. It's been about a 40, 50-year plan, and it's coming to fruition.

They're making their move right now. The question is, how will we on the right react? And they're not giving us much of a choice, in my opinion. I mean, somebody corners you in a corner. You corner a rat, it'll spring for your throat. You know that? That's what I heard. I keep a clean house.

I don't. No, but it's true. And it's like they're asking for it. I don't. They're not just, you know, they're not just going after Trump, you know, who they're trying to impeach this morning or whatever or try to. They're going after his supporters. We're like, you know, Glenn Beck got in a lot of trouble yesterday. Well, whatever.

got in a lot of trouble yesterday. Well, whatever. Making an analogy like the Jews and the Germans. The Jews could do anything they wanted behind the wall. They could talk about it. But Glenn's point was if we're going to get back in the fight, we have to do it in places that matter like television and social media. You know what I mean?

Right now we're behind the wall. And of course the Jewish defense, calling him an anti-Semite. Just showing more fucking ignorance. It's un-fucking-believable. Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. That's right. I'm doing well. So let's get right to it.

The big news today. House to impeach Trump. The House is poised to make Donald Trump the first president in U.S. history to be impeached for a second time today with a swift and bipartisan vote. And the key word is bipartisan. Those fucking rhino muggles pricks. Bipartisan vote to condemn Trump's role in inciting the riots at the U.S. Capitol. Yeah, his role was to give a speech.

Never told anybody to break anything. So good luck with that. House Democrats and at least a handful of douchebag Republicans, including the House's number three Republican, will vote in favor. That would be a Mitch McConnell, by the way, the old owl with no chin. Let's fucking hang him first.

We'll vote in favor of impeachment of Trump. Just one week after a deadly mob overran Capitol police. You see all the coverage it's getting. They've already arrested 90. They've rounded up over a hundred and something people. How many fucking riots do we see this this summit was anybody ever rounded up ever do you guys see what is happening son of a gun anyways uh yeah the cap that ransacked the u.s capitol and put the lives of the vp mike pence and lawmakers in danger oh sure they did the speed of the VP Mike Pence and lawmakers in danger. Oh sure they did. The

speed of the vote and the Republican support underscores the fury that lawmakers feel about Trump's role in citing the rioters who overtook the Capitol with months and here it comes you'll find this in every article since the left wing controls the media with months of false rhetoric about the election being stolen from him. Let me tell you something. I can't wait till he gets out. He's going to have plenty of time. He'll get together with what's her name, who we haven't heard from, Sidney Powell, and

they're going to lay it all out. Not that they haven't already. It doesn't, it didn't matter when they laid it all out because the plan the 10 people that run the goddamn world said you know what time for america to become a socialist shithole this is all window dressing biden didn't win the fucking election he didn't get 80 million votes and you people who believe that stay the fuck away from me. I'm going to get this added on to. It's going to say Trump. Big picture of Trump.

Just so you'll know to stay the fuck away. It'll end up being like, you know, I'll be arrested by the secret police if they see this online. Biden didn't win shit. He's been a loser his whole fucking life. Even the left was making fun of how feeble-minded he was. They weren't even sure they wanted him. So don't insult my intelligence, please. The impeachment resolution on the House will vote on today's charges. Trump with a single article, and that article is incitement of insurrection. You know what, Mr. Trump,

you should wear this like a badge of honor. You came in to expose these fucking rats and undo the status quo, flip over the apple cart, whatever the fuck. And you know what? You did. That's why they're trying to impeach you for a second time. Wear that like a badge of honor. You should have got three or four, then I would have really been impressed. Hat trick. The number of Republicans who will ultimately vote for impeachment remains unclear.

So far, five twats have said they will vote to impeach Trump. Do you fucking believe that? Five of them. What's the idea? Get upstairs and hide under your desk. White House minority leader Kevin McCarthy and minority whip Steve Scalise. You remember him? He was almost shot to death by a Bernie Sanders fan on a baseball field. Maybe we should start taking notes from them. Are opposed to impeachment.

A couple guys have balls. Arguing that it's a divisive response. The number three House Republican. Oh, that's Liz Cheney. I thought it was Mitch. See, I thought it went President, VP, and then fucking Mitch. But no.

As far as the House goes, it is Liz Cheney. What a disappointment. What a disappointment. Ugh. Of Wyoming, Liz Cheney announced Tuesday she would vote in favor of issuing a scathing statement that charged there, she said, never been a greater betrayal by a president of the United States of his office in his oath to the constitution. A, she was a whore. B, she was a whore. Really? Never a bigger, never a bigger betrayal? Do you have fucking Alzheimer's? How about Obama spying on an incoming president? Obama spying on an incoming president. How about that?

How about him sending billions of dollars to fucking Iran on a crate? Biggest sponsor of state terrorism. I could go on and on. How about you can keep your doctor and keep your plan? How about he did nothing about race relations, only made it worse. Never been a bigger betrayal. See how quickly we forget this country?

He spied on an incoming president. You're a dope, Liz. The division within the Republican Party over Wednesday's vote starkly contrasts the House Democrats' 2019 impeachment of Trump when House Republicans were united in opposition and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Fucking Pelican Neck has indicated he believes impeaching Trump will make it easier, get this, to get rid of the president and Trumpism from the Republican Party.

He is the party, shithead. Do you really think the 80 million people who voted for him are going to go away? Does he really mean that? You don't have a party without him. We're not going back to your shit. You understand? He's going to be more powerful out of office. How about the rallies he'll do when he's out of office?

Like the Rolling Stones. That's how he should do it. He should have trucks with equipment and shit. Really? You'll have no party. He saved your party, you ungrateful owl. Fucking nice strong chin. The New York Times and CNN

and other news outlets reported Tuesday and another sign that Republicans are rapidly putting distance between the party and the president who ruled it the last four years. They're saying, yeah,

we'll get rid of Trump. Everything will be fine. Your sister's box, your sister's box. Democrats have quickly coalesced around using impeachment in the final days of Trump's presidency to serve as a proper response, says who? To the president's conduct and as a way to push for his removal from office before the end of his term. Although that scenario looked unlikely,

the House approved a resolution urging Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove Trump from power yesterday evening. But Pence sent a letter ahead of the vote saying he would not do so. Separately, a source close to Trump also told CNN, it's always a source close to, on Tuesday night, there is no consideration of him resigning, referring to the president, adding he won't do that. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi seen here, never looking better. Look at that. Fuck, it looks like my balls with a wig on it.

Oh, my God. Those are my nuts with a face drawn on it with a Sharpie. Pelosi has brushed aside Republican efforts to take a different action, such as censure in response to Trump's role in the riots. She named impeachment managers on Tuesday. Hey, you know who one of them was? Eric Swalwell, the guy that was banging the Chinese spy, the retarded Matt Damon. Can you imagine?

Yeah, D.C.'s not too filthy. Impeachment managers on Tuesday evening. A team of nine Democrats, again, including Swalwell, who will be led by Rep. Jamie Raskin of Maryland. In a sign, she does not plan to hesitate to send the articles to the Senate. That's all she wants is impeach.

What a vile twat she is. My God, her days are numbered because she's 80. God help us. Please get some type of labia cancer. Anything, let it spread. It's been analyzed, Trump said of his remarks last week to the crowd before the riots. Trump said, people thought what I said

was totally appropriate, is what he said, and a lot of us do. I am your voice. Including the law. Mitch McConnell. Mitchie look at him right there he just he has some type of gas he's been up all night shitty breath Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell

has reportedly told his Republican colleagues that the President Donald Trump committed impeachable offenses and that he is fine with Democrats moving forward

with impeachment really really you are a cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt with Democrats moving forward with impeachment. Really? Really? You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A big fat stinking cunt. Said and true, but he'll tell you you're a motherfucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A motherfucking cunt.

Everybody knows from the head to the toes. You're a big fat stinking cunt. Mitch the bitch. He really thinks he's going to have a party when Trump leaves. I don't mean a party with noisemakers and shit, a party party. Which it's, it's Trump's party, man, whether he's in office or not. The New York Times, who, you know, again, I wouldn't wipe my ass with that paper, released a report

Tuesday. Oh, look, another anonymous source from the New York Times citing an anonymous source saying that McConnell is pleased with Democrats try to impeach Trump as it will help separate the Republican Party from Trump. Rioters supporting Trump stormed the U.S. Capitol Wednesday. Really? I don't want to put this in here. Committing acts of vandalism.

They broke a couple lamps and they stole an ottoman. And, oh yeah, a white woman was shot to death by a black cop, but nobody's saying anything about that. Haven't heard, have you heard any questions why she was shot? Just stand in there. Anyways, they try to postpone the Electoral College certification process, forcing members of Congress to evacuate the building. Thank Christ.

Democrats in the House of Reps introduced at least one article of impeachment against Trump on Monday morning after the pro-Trump mob stormed. First of all, we don't know how many were pro-Trump. Somebody, can you explain that black woman cop who was moving the barriers and waving people in? Somebody explain that to me and I'll shut the fuck up. The House impeachment resolution charges Trump with one article of incitement of insurrection and the effort is being led by Democratic Rep.

is being led by Democratic rep David Cicilline of Rhode Island, Jamie Raskin of Maryland, and Ted Lieu of California. Could you get three shittiest states? They are as blue as you. California, Rhode Island, and Maryland? Oh, my God. You guys are such pussies. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name. That's faggot stuff. You want a court by its name,

that's strictly for fags. And another douchebag on the left is a guy, he's the House Majority Leader, actually. Stenny, you know, Stenny, right? Stenny, I suck cock, Hoyer, introduced the resolution which calls on Vice President Mike Pence

to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove Trump from office. And, you know, Pence said, look, you can kiss my grits. Even Trump was pissed. I mean, excuse me, Pence was pissed at Trump because Trump said it came down to the vice president about decertification. I still don't have an answer to that. I listened to Turley, Jonathan Turley, an expert on the Constitution. Dershowitz, it's like a gray area

whether the president was right or not. So I was a little pissed at Pence too. Now you people can say, well, what a, Pence has been by Trump's side. He's defended him through thick and thin. How could he throw him under the, I think I'm just like Trump. That doesn't bode well.

If I try to get a job at the... Waffle House. Anyways, so Mike Pence just gave it one of these... Look at him. He's like a cutout of a fake president. Pence last night ruled out the 25th Amendment. Vice President Pence yesterday ruled out invoking the 25th Amendment to remove President Trump from office. In a letter to House Speaker Nancy Dirty, Filthy, Stinky, Bitter Pelosi,

Pence said that he did not believe invoking the amendment eight days before the end of Trump's term, which anybody in their right mind would think was stupid, was in the best interest of our nation or consistent with our Constitution. See, that's the problem. We're trying to find, we're still trying to follow the Constitution on the right. And the left is like, we're going to do whatever we have to do. It's going to get ugly, folks. That's why.

I'm looking at some prop in Ecuador, a nice three-bedroom with a balcony. Anyways, Pence urged Congress to focus on President-elect Joe Biden's inauguration and to avoid impeaching Trump. So, yeah, why don't you do that? Get Joe dressed. Put his diaper on. What are we doing? What's going on right now? You're going to be inaugurated. For what? What? Well, you're the president.

What are we doing? What's going on right now? We're going over to the bingo hall, Joe. In the midst of a global pandemic, economic hardship for millions of Americans, and the tragic events of January 6th, now is the time for us, Pence said, to come together. Now is the time for us to heal. You've got to be kidding me. There is no healing. We're infected.

It's time to cut the limb off. That will be the left, by the way. It's infected with socialism. All kinds of pus. Pence says, I urge you and every member of Congress to avoid actions that would further divide. We can't divide the country. They keep saying further divide.

You can't divide something that's been divided into a zillion pieces. I guess you can. Into a billion pieces. Further divide and inflame the passions of the moment? You're a little late with that shit, Sonny Boy. I'm enjoying it. There's a white heat on the

right. There's at least 80 million people who voted for Trump who are fucking furious. Not only that the election was stolen, but now they're being shut down. Whether they're a politician, a business owner, eventually us, being treated like war criminals. If you haven't read 1984, please pick it up today.

It could have been written yesterday. Very creepy. Talk about a prescient guy. The House of Reps convened on Tuesday night to vote to urge Pence to invoke the amendment, which would declare Trump unable to fill his duties after the president supported storm. Yeah, I already fucking talked about it. But Pence said in his letter that the mechanism should only be used for cases of medical or mental incapacitation and not as a means of punishment or usurpation. Pelosi has said that if Pence refuses to use the 25th Amendment, the House will move their bowels in the hallway.

The House will move to impeach the president for the second time. Will she get cancer and die, please? Oh, that dirty cocksucker. At least three Republicans have said that they would vote to impeach. And we should find out who they are. We already know. We're making a list, too. We're making a list.

We're checking it twice to find out who the faggots and the right are. That did not rhyme. Didn't have to. Did not have to. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. In our make me, well done, sir. In our make me a sandwich segment tonight,

you should put it in the teleprompter so I know it's coming. In our shut up and make me a sandwich segment tonight, look who weighs in. Look who weighs in. Somebody who should have been in prison now for at least three years. Hillary says in a tweet,

this fucking twat zone. She says, here's how elected Republicans and conservative media can begin the healing and unifying process. So I say to her, shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up. Who cares what you think? Do you really think they want to heal and break? Does it look like the first things they've done since the riot

is that they want to you know we we threw him a bone that riot just handed a silver for them to put a spin on i don't care i'm still for it i'm still happy they did it i don't give a fuck what enemy says it shows a little life you can't blame the taxpayers right i don't i i i but but because taxpayers, right? But because they control the message, the media, we knew they were going to spin it into this, right? And they used it perfectly as a reason to still go after Trump. How deranged are they? She goes on to say, the elephant pig face, accurately state that Joe Biden was duly elected president in a free and fair election she said you're lying and you're a piece of shit you know what it reminds me of like when an American soldier gets taken hostage and you know they make him talk into a camera and say I now believe in Iranian and Muslims and when there's somebody pointing a gun off camera, three feet away to his head, that's what she wants us to do.

She wants us to go, you know what? He did win fair and square. Fuck you, Hillary. Fuck everything you stand for. Fuck that you were even born. I actually like your husband because he can't stand you either. He did coke and he got a blow job out of the desk. That didn't bother me either. he did coke and he got a blowjob out of the desk that didn't bother me either you weren't gonna touch his dick you bearded hag Helga the stomping mayor I heard Leno say that I was up till three watching Jay Leno you guys I've said this a million times Jay Leno Leno on David Letterman's show in the 80s. Somebody posted all 18 appearances. You want to see how goddamn funny he was? Anyways.

She says, urge Trump supporters to refrain from further violence. Where were you when the riots were going down, you fucking self-hating white bitch? Refrain from violence? I say we turn it up a notch. Start it in Westchester. I think she's still up there. She has a bonbon factory.

You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Wouldn't you love to say that to Hillary? She went on to say, still yapping, that nobody cared. President Trump gravely, gravely endangered the security of the United States

and its institutions of government. Problem? You're the fucking problem? You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H. You keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground, I promise you. Not this time. He threatened the integrity of the democratic system, interfered with the peaceful and transfer of power, and imperiled a co-equal branch of government.

The single article of impeachment introduced by reps David Cicilline, Ted Lieu, and Jamie Raskin. She says, he thereby betrayed his trust as president to the manifest injury of the people of the United States. That's what she went on to keep flapping her gums. Your mother sucks cocks in hell. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is a woman who, with the DNC, worked with Russia, created a fake dossier, went to the Supreme Court, bogus FISA applications to spy, and this twat is still walking around. Anybody on the right have any balls?

And you know what? That's the one thing where Trump fucked up in his four years. That she didn't do the perp walk with fucking cuffs on. But he had a million other things going on,

didn't he? But that would have sent a nice message. Jeez, I just saw my own name. I got nervous on the teleprompter. Holy moly. Hey, I'm going sort of back on tour.

Back on the road. Next week at one of my favorite comedy clubs. Bobby Jewel's one of my favorite people. I don't know if he's still running it or not. January 22nd, 23rd, I'll be at Sidesplitters. That's next weekend in Tampa. Two shows Friday, two Saturday. Also, my March dates at Comics at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut have been rescheduled for October 14th through 16th. I figured by then the country will have balkanized or be in a full-fledged war.

So bring muskets and powdered wigs to that show. It'll be terrific. And lastly, April 8th will be my rescheduled date at the Improv in Raleigh, North Carolina. So come check me out and my abs that no longer exist. The ass is still pretty hard. Get tickets to all these shows through my website, nickadip.com, and click on the Turing button. Good time to thank the contributions. You guys are keeping the show going.

Please keep them coming. We got a big fat one yesterday. I had to make a selfie to thank this guy. You know what? We're going to be fine, folks. Once we get all the shit at the comic gym up and going, we're going to be fine folks once we get all the shit at the comic gym up and going we're going to be just fine greg sanford new york pedro uh navaja new mexico carl catrino maryland neek verstig

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Peter Acevedo, Florida. Brent Hutchins, Texas. Dave Rodenborn, California. Timothy Bowling, Nevada. Brian Russell, Minnesota. Joshua, uh, fight shit, fight shans, Virginia. And they all signed up at Patreon. They are monthly subscribers and that's the lifeblood right now, folks. I wouldn't have a roof over my head without Patreon. Um, eventually again, we're going to move over to thecomicsgym.com.

You'll have the same options of, again, paying for it or watching it free. And don't forget, I'm at Facebook still for free, nickdip.com, Instagram. Where else, Jace? Yeah.

Just those? I don't think so but um in a few weeks hopefully maybe even sooner bit shoot and rumble i guess i'm late to those parties people have been jumping people love those sites i'm very excited about whatever a bit shoot is i have to google it i got a doc to check out my bit shoot let me tell you all kinds of pull-ups up in that motherfucker president trump yesterday he made a trip he came out of the house he said fuck these people to remind us he's the greatest president in history trump made a trip to the texas border wall wall that he's responsible for being built. And while he was there, he addressed some other recent events. The first thing he talked about when he got there was obviously the beautiful wall.

He didn't go with my tip of making it look like the green monster at Fenway. I thought that would have been, you know, 37 feet high every time a legal gets shot, have a guy manually put up a one, you know, like the innings and it would have been terrific. But this is what he had to say, talking to the border patrol and everybody that's going to guard this thing. I'm honored to be here in the Rio Grande Valley with the courageous men and women of customs and border patrol. These people are incredible. They're really incredible. I've gotten to know you very well over the last four years.

Many of you are friends from all of the work we did in designing the wall. We got it exactly as you wanted it. Everything, including your protective plate on top. I say, why did we put that? And they said, we need it for extra protection climb plate and we have everything you want that's steel it's concrete inside the steel and then it's rebar a lot of heavy rebar inside the concrete and it's as strong as you're gonna get and strong as you can have but we gave you 100% of what you wanted. So now you have no excuses. I didn't want you to have any excuses.

And you set records. And we can't let the next administration even think about taking it down, if you can believe that. I don't think that will happen. Taking it down. That'll be hilarious. That'll be fun watching them take it down. As they're taking it down you know mexicans all illegals half of south america's pouring in as the

and again okay the wall is fine but like i said why wouldn't you electrify it seriously anybody touches it and they fry there's a million ways maybe it's more symbolic a lot of people said oh he wasn't going to keep that promise maybe you should put uh the democrats against that wall with blindfolds on and ask them with their last wishes before we fucking unload uh then he went on to talk about like i said what's going on in the news right now uh free speech and the 25th Amendment. Here's what he had to say. Before we begin, I'd like to say that free speech is under assault like never before.

The 25th Amendment is of zero risk to me, but we'll come back to haunt Joe Biden and the Biden administration. As the expression goes, be careful what you wish for. The impeachment hoax is a continuation of the greatest and most vicious witch hunt in the history of our country and is causing tremendous anger and division and pain, far greater than most people will ever understand, which is very dangerous for the USA, especially at this very tender time. Tender time. Free speech, free everything.

Freedom of assembly. They're trying to pass legislation saying like a MAGA rally, even without Trump there. It would be like, it's like a terrorist getting together. Domestic terrorism. I don't see how this is going to end good, folks. a rally even without trump there it'd be like it's like a terrorist getting together domestic terrorism i don't see how this is going to end good folks i'd like to be an optimist really i wouldn't i get a little excited we've had it too good for too long we've had this false sense of security this shit happens all over the world you know now it's our turn and then he touched on uh

why they're trying to impeach him in the riots our citizens watched on wednesday as a mob stormed the capitol and trashed the halls of government as i have consistently said throughout my administration we believe in respecting america's history and traditions not tearing them down we believe in the rule of law, not in violence or rioting. And we are the rule. By the way, the right is the party of law. That's why we're losing.

You understand? It's just, this is all coming on the heels of all that fucking violence and looting and rioting this summer and the burning down of cities and jazz and all that shit. It's coming on the heels of it. And these pricks on the left have the balls, these sanctimonious douchebags to say that they have somehow the upper hand morally, they're morally superior. And boy, aren't they,

boy, they're going after these people, you know? Meanwhile, during the riots, we have 90 cameras in Walmart. You could arrest about 100 people that night. But you know, it's black and brown. It's their turn. Don't tread on me. It's my next, it's either that or that's my next tattoo.

Don't tread on me or it's going to be Shemp Howard from the Stooges on my neck. I am. I'm going to have the, you know what, Mount Rushmore, and I'm going to add Trump's face and Shemp Howard too. Don't explain to me why. It'll be a real icebreaker. Let's get back to the Capitol. And Capitol Police briefed Democrats,

there was some good news on Monday night, about three more potentially gruesome demonstrations planned in the coming days with one plot to encircle the U.S. Capitol and assassinate Democrats and some Republicans. That's gruesome, huh? Just stay away. What you're going to be careful is, just remember this, because you're never going to get truth from the media,

especially not now. If shit like this happens, it goes down, Antifa's involved. They're going to dress up with their Trump hats, pretend to be supporters, and they're going to be the first one to fire the shot, and then that's the end of us. I mean, that might have been what happened to the Capitol.

I'm still convinced it was like a false flag thing. I don't give a shit if you think I'm a conspiracy theorist. And you know what makes me think that? First of all, that black cop opening the gates and literally going like this, like, you know, a who concert in 1974. And the other thing is that woman getting shot. It was so clear. Have you ever seen a clearer execution of a person? You know what I mean? It was two.

I thought I heard somebody yell, action, and we're out. It rung very false to me and to people I know that have been in law enforcement for a long time. Anyway, so there's a bunch of plots going around making, you can say one thing, we're making them nervous as all hell, are we not? On a private call Monday night, new leaders of the Capitol Police told House Democrats they were closely monitoring three separate plans that could pose serious threats to members of Congress as Washington prepares for that crook Democrat Joe Biden's presidential inauguration on January 20th. You know what they're going to have to do? They're going to have to bring in people, you know, because he's not a draw.

Remember, while he's campaigning, Trump would have 25,000, he'd have 11. So they're going to have to do what they do at a halftime during the Super Bowl. You know when they have like, I don't know, Donny Osmond. Donny Osmond. Fucking I don't know, Shakira. What? Who's the white girl making all the money?

Weston. Yeah, you do. The good looking tall Taylor Swift. Thank you buddy. Taylor Swift. When you, buddy. Taylor Swift. When they have, anyways, at the halftime, when they musical got, you know how they bring people up to the front to make it look like it's packed and it's always a, they're going to have to do that for shithead. Already, you know, at the Capitol, um, have been called, the National Guard sleeping there and shit.

Apparently some stuff going to go down. The first is a demonstration billed as the largest armed protest ever to take place on American soil. That makes me nervous. Ow, what are we doing? What are we doing what are we doing what's going on right now oh some gunfire get get under the podium jerk off another is a protest in honor of uh ashley babbitt she's the white woman that was killed by a black capitol police officer it says while trying to climb into the speaker's lobby. Look, they even have to dress it up

like that Wednesday. She was standing there. She was already in during the pro-Trump siege of the Capitol. Pro-Trump. You fucking people. And another demonstration,

which three members said was by far the most concerning plot, would involve insurrectionists forming a perimeter around the Capitol, the White House, and the Supreme Court, and then blocking Democrats from entering the Capitol, perhaps even killing them. When reached, Matt Goetz said, Hey, we were kidding around.

It's like the Godfather. We circle the Capitol. We kill all the Democrats. This is Hyman Roth talking to Sean Hannity. Sean Hannity, your dad provided the guns. So that Republicans could have control

of the guns. That's the only way they're going to get control. It's not true. There's two ways we can go. Like Dinesh D'Souza said, we can, you know, fight it out with them. They knock down this. We knock down that. Or, you know, you let them hang themselves. They're already overplaying their hand, I think a little bit. But here's my point. People say, yeah, let them hang themselves. In other words, they're going to fuck it up like they always do. They always raise tax. They go way too far, which they're already doing.

And then in the midterms, there'll be a red wave. And I go, oh, yeah? Not if we're using Dominion machines again and we haven't fixed all the other horseshit. Doesn't matter. Right? Right? machines again and we haven't fixed all the other horseshit doesn't matter right gotta get to the bottom of what happened at this election or this fucking right will never ever win an election again the members of congress whom uh the huffington post spoke to monday night were extremely concerned

because you know they're cowards at heart uh They were very nervous by the call. It was pretty overwhelming. One member said, oh, really? Fucking scared, are you? Oh, boy, you. Officials on the call warned lawmakers about sharing too much information with the media, saying that divulging specific dates, times, and countermeasures could aid the organizers of the plots. HuffPost is not disclosing certain information, such as who appears to be organizing these plots and when they ought to take place. One member was explicit that these groups were trying to get journalists to report on their demonstrations

some of their main communications to organize uh these things have been cut off so they're purposely trying to get the media to report on this as a way to further disseminate information like the rednecks are sitting home watching you know cnn going oh i didn't know that was gonna happen we gotta get the hell down there that's what you know, CNN going, oh, I didn't know that was going to happen. We've got to get the hell down there. That's, you know, if that's what they're relying on as far as organized, because they can't do it on face, just make a fake account. Call yourself Adam Schiff's kids or something.

But they're using the media to disseminate information and to attract additional support for their attacks. At least that's what the one member said. So they're not really talking to each other, the people organizing this? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Democrats were Democrats were told that the Capitol Police and the National Guard were preparing for potentially

tens of thousands of armed protesters coming to Washington and were establishing rules of engagement for warfare. Just the fact that we're using these words doesn't get you a little excited. I don't mean in a good or a bad way. You don't want to see people get killed. But when somebody corners you and puts a gun in your face. In general, the military and police don't plan. Listen to this. This one sent shivers up my ass. The military and the police that are going to be there don't plan to shoot anyone until one of the rioters fires.

But there could be exceptions. Yes, there will be exceptions. There'll be people from antifa anarchists dressed like trump supporters you'll never report on it even if it comes up but there could be exceptions boy they left that dangling didn't they lawmakers were told that the plot to encircle the Capitol also included plans to surround the White House. Apparently, the offensive coordinator of the Tennessee Titans came up with this plan so that no one could harm Trump in the Supreme Court simply to shut down the courts. So we're not having any of it, OK? We don't go down. Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.

Boy, does that get me fired up. Every time. As I was mentioning earlier with the last article, it's hard for these righties, you know, to plan stuff and organize on social media. Everybody's being shut. Not that they would do that out in the open anyways, but his... Oh, that was gross.

Oh my God, it almost came out of my nose. Leave that in. That was funny. You could have rolled that one in breadcrumbs and baked it for an hour. It still wouldn't have been done. Holy moly. That was a real lung clam. That's because my new vape. Look at that. I'm moving up. Anyways, let's talk about Trump at the wall said freedom of speech was being. I don't think when he was saying that this hadn't even happened yet. But guess what?

was being i don't think when he was saying it this hadn't even happened yet but guess what youtube now they're in on it banning trump's uh channel trump's account or previously banned on twitter and facebook following the capital uh see how they tied the two in uh the riot on january 6th as social media platforms accused the president of inciting violence jesus Christ, am I tired of that phrase? It's a stupid, it's a stupid, stupid. YouTube is suspending President Donald Trump's channel for at least a week because it received a strike after posting a video that purportedly incited violence. The company announced, fucking liars. You wanna go to war? Come on.

You wanna go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony, coño. After careful review, this is YouTube talking. I should do an Indian accent, but I can't. After careful review, in the light of concerns

about the ongoing potential for violence, we were, boy are they pussies, huh? They're so afraid of violence. You're in America. We removed new content uploaded to the Donald J. Trump channel

and issued a strike for violating our policies, for inciting violence. Let me tell you something, by shutting people down like me and anybody on the right, you're inciting violence. Do you understand? You're creating a kiln filled of fury and fire that you're going to, somebody give me a part of some more. Anyway, a YouTube spokesman said that in a statement. As a result, he said, in accordance with our longstanding strike system, the channel is now prevented from uploading new videos or live streams for a minimum of seven days, which may be extended.

They asked Trump to comment on it, and he said, Fuck your mother! Oh, take it easy, Prez. Let's get off politics. Although, come on, it's the most interesting time ever in this country. But let's do something light. You know, I always like to bring in a funny light story. You know who the womb raider is?

This is the New York Post. This is a story about a woman who killed another pregnant woman, cut her baby out, and stole it. And the New York Post headline, womb raider. Wasn't there a movie, Tomb Raider? Is that the play? Jesus Christ. I should have wrote for them.

I could be a zillionaire. Womb Raider sentenced to death. The Supreme Court ruled Tuesday night, Womb Raider, Lisa Montgomery, be put to death a day after a federal judge in Indiana put a hold on her execution due to the state of her mental health. The six to three vote means Montgomery will become the first. I think she was executed this morning. First woman executed by the federal government in nearly 70 years.

And they say it's a man's world. Come on. Bye bye, dickhead. 70. So this is a big win, a big win for feminists and women's rights. You guys can do anything we can do. I heard this story today. You guys have heard me what? Complaining when people die now. They never tell us how, whether it's somebody famous or do you notice?

Saw another one yesterday. I don't know who the hell it was. It said not disclosed. Death not disclosed yet. It was on ESPN. I told them they won't on the way to work. I hear this story on the radio. They said Lisa Montgomery, right?

This is how they worded it. This is how soft would become. She killed a woman and kidnapped her baby. Because it would have been too graphic to say what she did. See? George Carlin had a whole bit how he used euphemisms that soften the language. No, she cut the baby out. Anytime that story's told, whether it's TV or radio,

you should expound on how evil a world you're living in. The decision comes eight days before President Trump, who's been on an execution spree since last year, leaves office. President-elect Joe Biden admittedly opposes the death penalty. They throw that in like we give a fuck. I oppose it too, but not for the reasons you think. I think to be in prison the rest of your life is way worse than somebody

sticking a knee and killing you. You're out of your misery. Let them be raped in the ass in the shower for the next 30 years. On Monday, federal judge Patrick Hanlon blocked Montgomery, good for you, Patty, blocked Montgomery's execution. Oh, no, I'm sorry, this is her lawyer, jerk off,

citing her deteriorating mental health condition. I love this, oh, but the person was crazy. Well, when a pit bull tears somebody apart or a dog, it's crazy, we put it down. She cut a baby out of a woman. Yeah, but she's, but she's, yeah. Yeah, she's a danger. As discussed elsewhere in this order, Ms. Montgomery, this is her lawyer, has been diagnosed with physical brain impairments and multiple mental illnesses. And three experts are of the opinion of that opinion based on her conduct. And you've got to be a real surgeon to figure out, hey, she's crazy.

And symptoms are reported to them by counsel. Miss Montgomery's perception of reality is currently distorted and impaired. And so is yours, lawyer. Hanlon wrote that in his decision. How do you go to sleep at night defending that, you know? You're fucking crazy. Montgomery was originally scheduled to die by lethal injection on December 8th, but they were worried about her getting COVID.

No. But in November, a federal judge temporarily blocked her execution after her lawyers contracted COVID-19. Her lawyers got, no, they didn't. But as it says, while visiting her at the federal correctional complex in Terre Haute. Yeah, we wouldn't want you to get too close to your client who we're going to kill in about a week. She might get a fever. In 2007, Montgomery was convicted, here it is, in the murder of 23-year-old Bobby Joe Stinnett in Missouri. She strangled Stinnett with a rope before cutting her open and running away with the baby.

Okay? Is that a kidnapping? You've got to be fucking kidding me. You're fucking crazy. Bye-bye, dickhead! That is it for today, folks. I am tapped the hell out. Keep

your chin up out there, and please keep signing up at thecomicsgym.com. And again, my first strike is going to expire February 18th, which means I won't have any more strikes. But obviously, they're not going to put this type of shit on, right? So maybe I'll do some little stories that are just, you know, cute about,

you know, a parakeet dialing 911 when the house caught on fire. Shit like that. But I'll throw the word twat in, you know, it'll be funny. Anyways, that is it. Don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com, click on the Nick DiPaolo profile, tell me a little bit about the person. I will make a video on my phone and send it to that person. People use it birthday gifts that are fans of mine christmas gifts i made a made a nice chunk on christmas people it's a great gift anyways uh that's it you think it i will say it you're very welcome we'll see you back here tomorrow enjoy your cake guitar solo guitar solo I'm out.