The Nick DiPaolo Show - "Border"line Suicidal | Nick Di Paolo Show #1639

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump's betting odds, Border Patrol plans, Victoria Secret back and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

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That should be the right's motto. To women's movement, to the fucking LGBT movement, to anybody who wants reparations, especially that one. We're entitled to shit. One episode Chris if it's like yeah I didn't feel good this morning I wipe my ass with your feelings. What I haven't used that on my wife? I'm kidding folks she's a dull. How are you? Great to be with you. It's Wednesday in this state. I was just listening on the way to work. Harris Faulkner, I guess, last night did a town hall with all women in the crowd with Trump.

And he was pretty good. He was pretty good. And some woman stood up who was like an ROTC or she was a veteran or whatever. But young girl and said how are we gonna be you know how do we Put America first without being the world's police was actually a great question and stuff and Yeah, she had a couple good ones Anyways, and apparently here in the state of Georgia early voting 300,000 people have already voted as opposed to what's that? Said hopefully the right way. Well, I would think so because the fact that it's so high compared to what it was last time uh tells me because the right really got the message out we got beat because early voting and it was a scam and uh it was smart for them to and they have been the Trump's

campaign to get out there and vote early so I think that's a good sign. Does it really matter though if these cocksuckers are gonna steal it these faceless unelected bureaucrats who have ruined this country that you didn't vote for? Does it really matter? Don't you care, Arthur? Don't you care? That was Al Pacino in Justice for All. Anyways, what else? Real quick, what happened since last night?

I don't know. I got nothing. What did I do? What did I say? Yankees another win. There you go? That's about you know, what a guess Nick watch the ballgame Yes, the Yankees have a scary scary lineup But I just I just got a feeling Cleveland's gonna knock this up. Maybe Let's get on with it already

to knock this up maybe. Let's get on with it already. First story, Trump trouncing the tramp. Donald Trump is now at the highest point in the betting odds since Kamala Harris entered the race. Are you interested in the real story. Oh I am the more Kamala opens her fish hole That means speaks the more she collapses Why does it say pick there? Oh There's a pick that's Polly market and again Polly market is one of these I guess betting sites or whatever It's it's really accurate and both sides go to it to see what's really up

apparently according to crowded told me that this is one of the more accurate ones and trump fifty seven point nine percent chance of winning over kamala's forty two percent but then you read that and you see the graph so it must be true and then you put on tv they're neck and neck she's ahead by a point here and then suck it fuck it i don't believe it i'll say it again they're padding you for the shark and i got i i never wanted to be so

wrong in my life if they pull their shenanigans and she somehow wins they're gonna go it was always neck and neck and it won't look so shocking to you but that's the truth of it she's getting smoked she's running around doing shalamane the god whatever the black radio guy is doing his she she's trying to it's so obvious at the last second she's running around instead of doing this shit when she was in the White House with Biden it's so fucking obvious and I think that Dems aren't her but like I said that's all moot if they pull the same shit they did last election and yes they did pull shit last election she she actually yesterday she said she's gonna

give she's talking to black voters and black men especially legalize weed and forgivable loans which is just handing out money by the way which is an insult can you imagine if Trump or anybody on the right said yeah for you black guys we're gonna give you weed and free money. Can you imagine Trump saying, free money? You like weed, right? They love their weed. They love to smoke.

They love it. Look, I know some people say it's not a good thing to say, but I mean, it's the truth. They lay there while they're watching, a Maury Povich to find out who the mommy is and the baby and the kid. Why am I doing this? He doesn't smoke.

And fried chicken. They like fried chicken. And chicken. Look, I like fried chicken. I mean, who doesn't like fried chicken? Am I right? I'm in Georgia. You guys know.

Boy, I stopped at Publix. They got some delicious chicken. And grape drink and watermelon. All right. Now take it easy. Steve. Publix they got some delicious chicken and great drink and watermelon all right now take it easy Steve again this is the this is that what do you call it the YouTube part of the show gotta be careful but yes it's so obvious and transparent what she's trying to do at the last minute oh my goodness God and Charlemagne the god was like really going

now you guys messed up on the border and he was staying on her I got a good feeling you go on the internet you see these black guys who you can tell they never voted Republican in their life and they're like fuck her man I think what pissing them off also she's trying to pass herself off as black I think that really gets under their skin that she's trying to pass herself off as black I swear that got you know it's so ironic because remember Biden going man if you don't vote for me you're not black oh that's a good thing to say they've been hammering voters since Biden, by the way.

So this is the time, you idiots on the right, this is the time, regardless of the election, to grab the black vote for the next, I don't know how many years. This is perfect. Like I said, they lean towards Trump, and they go, well, this is racist to say, but it's true. They saw the system go after Trump. you know in their minds the system is always

oppressing them but they're like they're trying to kill this motherfucker so he must be on the right side that shit went a long way I don't care what anybody says so and and there's there's the results and and also women I think women are about security and they don't feel safe. They do not feel fucking safe. Can't even go for a run without getting raped and killed. It's disgusting what's been done to this country. You know it, I know it. I got an itchy right nostril. Why? You get upstairs! It fucking reminded me of the old man. He would go this way though. Yeah,

because these are here. Excuse me, that was his face. These are here, but he could say, I didn't hit you with a closed fist. Well, you might as well have. Your fucking knuckles are on that, say. I'd be eating, I'd say something wise. It's also a little more aggressive from a visual standpoint so it's a little more intimidating and terrifying than the open hand this way you don't see it coming at least I don't because he would do it I was eating I remember we had company of I don't was Thanksgiving or what and I was in one of my moods and my

mother goes you want salad? I go what kind of lettuce? Which is a snotty thing to say. My father crack right in front of company right right only on the side of the head though and Mr. Bevin my my sister's father-in-law laughed he couldn't finish his dinner he thought that was the funniest fucking thing he comes up to me I'm watching the game later on mr. better what kind of lettuce goddamn guineas really make me laugh that's something he would have said I told you he gave me everybody had CBs in the 70s I was only like seventh grade. And he gave me the handle, Gallup and Guinea. He called me that because I was a running back

and he loved it. He always came to my games. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and sign up with promo code MOVE. All new customers will receive $200 in free bets when you sign up today using code MOVE. Plus five lucky customers will win a $100,000 free bet. Gambling problem called 1-800-589-9966.

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Hence, first aid DraftKings is allowed to operate in Ohio. See terms at dkng.co slash OH. Anyway, let's move on. I've bullshitted enough. Borderline Suicidal. This is very interesting and not surprising. Border Patrol agents are threatening to leave

the critical federal agency that means guarding the border in droves if Vice President Kamala Harris wins in November with multiple agents telling the Post that they can't face four more years of being undermined and scapegoated.

Bye bye. You can't blame them. I'm not going to, here's a quote from one of them, I'm not doing this shit again. Four years of hell, said one agent who is nowhere near retirement. Another agent said lots of guys who can retire will go if Trump wins They'll stay and don't you think? That would be enough again if we lived in a country. We're half the country it's not half, but didn't hate this kind which they do they're an enemy of the fucking state and

If it was a slightly normal Mentality of America first we wouldn't have to worry about this shit, but they Douchebag Kamala if she wins, she'll fucking are you kidding me? You think the borders are open now? She'll make it like six flags Here's mr. Trump talking to the border guys and telling them what if he gets elected what he's going to do for them. In order to meet the goal of hiring 10,000 new agents we need the agents we have to we need them badly and keeping our incredible veteran agents on the force don't leave us.

Raise your right hand you're not going to leave. You're not going to leave. Don't leave us. Raise your right hand. You're not going to leave. You're not going to leave. Don't leave us. You're not going to leave. I don't have to worry about that. They're very committed people. If we paid them nothing, they're not leaving. They want to save our country. They're going to save our country.

But after I win, I will be asking Congress immediately to approve a 10% raise. I haven't had one in a long time for all ages and a $10,000 each retention and signing bonus Hey, where do I sign? We're going to retain them Not much in the podcast money I am your voice

That's already a plan Look at Kamala's whole campaign for last couple months she hasn't even given that much it's got a plan for everything so I'll say it once again if he doesn't win this fucking thing it is another fucking steal I'll say it again and again and again and again. Unless there's an October surprise. There's rumors there about Tim Waltz that coming from so-called kids who were victim. Again, just rumor alleged, but that Ian Carroll guy, you know who he is on the internet? He's got a beard and long hair and shit and he always gets these breaking stories and he's sort of like a hip Alex Jones, a younger version, but he's good about it. He doesn't come right out and say

this is fact or whatever. Anyways, on Monday the Border Patrol Union National Border Patrol Council endorsed former President Trump. The Border Patrol has suffered massive turnover and plummeting morale under the Biden-Harris administration inside of say, gee, I wonder if has anything to do with like a few years ago when Joe Biden's like, look at their whipping. Those guys on horse are whipping immigrants coming. Remember that? Never apologize for it. Imagine going to work knowing your fucking bosses hate you and don't even want you to do that job anymore. That's got same like the cops. How do you think the cops feel? They arrest somebody and fucking three

minutes later on the street again and you're gonna deal with it and they're not just like fucking people getting arrested for loitering and shit. Yeah let me put my neck on the line three times. The agency has shed more than 4,000 personnel since October. That's more than the New York Jets coaching staff. Is it not? Oh, what are you saying, honey? Since October 2020, leaving about 19,000 employees. Oh, don't leave us!

Both Trump and Harris have pledged to beef up the board. Oh, have you? You're going to beef it up now? This is probably a i picture they dropped a ren she was at a g shoot a commercial convenience store uh... anyways what what what is she gonna be fucked up the border patrol uh... with a republican nominee making the announcement sunday about increasing

the force by one third or ten thousand new agents what's her she just says she's gonna do shit. It is... You people. But multiple agents who talked to the Post anonymously for fear of backlash, can you imagine that's where they can't even speak out loud? That's where we're at from their bosses, said that Harris is likely to take office with a massive staffing crisis at the agency if she is elected. It's a little whore and a little piece of trash. All right, that's how they feel about her.

But can you imagine folks, fucking 4,000 guys just split? It's like the NYPD, all the guys that can retire are retiring and nobody wants to do the job because you're handcuffed. You do your job, you get in trouble, you get sued. For what, 35,000 a year year it's another thing Trump should do kick up the copper money the tanking morale led the agency to hire its first get this suicidologist imagine that let me tell you something I could have used that to help combat the

surging suicide rate among Customs and Border Protection which includes Border Patrol. In 2022, listen to this, the agency recorded a record 15 suicides. Alright, we get it. No need for the sound effects. 15 suicides. In one year? 2022? Is that what they say? Just let that sink in. Let that sink in.

Because they're dealing with these third-worlders. They got into the business to stop this shit. Can you imagine? And what do you, you go home, disheveling shit against the, ugh. It's not like they're getting rich doing it either. What the fuck? I think the minute Trump gets elected, he should go.

You know how they were flying people in in the middle of the night? All that's unconstitutional. Arrest him, arrest her, get my orcas seriously send the fucking FBI to see if they're on your side Donald this time see if they're on your kick my orcas's door and it's four in the morning when he's sucking his

boyfriend's ass cheeks piece of shit delicious thank you I'm sorry folks I tell you something speaking of ass cheeks let's lighten it up that's what we do this is a good nose actually few heterosexuals Victoria's not so secret they're bringing sexy back wasn't that Justin Timberlake had a song about They're bringing sexy back. Wasn't that Justin Timberlake had a song about? They're bringing sexy back because no one really wanted it to go away. Yet once again the left who hates every another example how they hate everything. And if you notice most of the people who vote Democrat they're ugly, they weren't popular in high school, they say they were bullied

and I hope they were because they're really unhappy people and they blame it on the United States Not on their shitty lives have created for themselves in May Victoria's Secret announced their once iconic fashion show lingerie extravaganza is back and will reflect who we are today Plus everything you know and love, the glamour, runway, wings, musical entertainment, and more importantly, no elephants, no hippos, no fat bucks in bikinis, no plus size models. There might be. They have to keep one or two just to you know but remember this that thing landed on my shoulder last night don't you fuck that shit out of her don't do it but who they are today

meaning Victoria's Secret basically who they were during the hutness days with a small expansion of the vision of beauty yes with a small expansion of the vision of beauty. Yes, see, small expansion of the vision, meaning we're gonna keep a couple chunky ones, so we're gonna have to fucking deal with that. Which is fine, just keep them off the runway, put them in a cage in the back, throw some fucking watermelon rinds in there. Let them out every once in a while. You do a show in, I don't know, fucking Rochester, New York, nobody sees it. Get your hot dogs here. He'd do a show in, I don't know, fucking Rochester, New York. Nobody sees him. Ah!

Ah! Tonight's- Get your hot dogs! Get your hot dogs, yeah! Tonight's party parade aired live on Amazon. Ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan. Ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan, ngan. Delicious.

Delicious. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. delicious delicious thank you look at that picture and all I can hear is that's fucking beautiful tonight's panty parade that's what it says aired live on Amazon Prime reverted to familiar faces veterans who have already donned the famous wings before it was canceled celestial Celestial bodies like Tyra Banks, Gigi Hadid, Myoa Nicholas, Barbara Pelvin, almost pelvic, Bahati Prince Sulu, oh I love Bahati, have you had the Bahati with the Prince Sulu on the side, Jasmine Tookes and Adriana Lima the splashy additions by the way none of

those girls open that landed on my head outside the splashy additions are plus size mannequin plus size mannequins Paloma Alessar and Ashley Graham, what does that mean? Who said she agreed to walk because the brand is planning on adding larger sizes. Yes, for all the hand-wringing, all the lectures on body positivity and corporate self-flagulation, it's back to hot supermodels strutting down the runway in skippy sparkly bras with no hairy nuts hanging out and not meant for mere mortals the yearly yont lingerie show was put on ice due to poor ratings and a bad stench from inside corporate headquarters which was reeling from hashtag me too to malt and associations with jeffrey ebstein the down accelerated by Ed Rezick, that rascal Eddie Rezick, who was the show's architect

telling Vogue in 2018 that they shouldn't have transsexuals walk because the show is a fantasy. And they got in trouble for that. That was thefall that's when they came after him when he said that But it's back. What does that tell you? What does that tell you? I don't know Definitely another indicator. Yeah, it's all the indicators that again. That's why I say if it goes her way. It's a fucking It's baloney. Hey for those of you watching me a mug club mug club right now Stick around for the rest of the show Rusty is go to Nick dip comm to sign up to get my full show You'll get Steven Crowder's full show which is worth it the the subscription itself Alex Jones pops in and out Brian Callan funny guy has his own show there and

The undercover team they have it's got a name I can't even remember what it is who break they the broken national stories already this year and they get a couple more they're sitting on it's more it really is uh... people some people make fun of podcast this one actually get shit done uh... so go to nick dip dot com com and sign up for mud club uh... also uh... november ninth i will be at the Bridgeview Center Theatre in Atomwa, Iowa.

We just started selling tickets a few weeks ago. So November 9th, Bridgeview Center Theatre, Atomwa, Iowa. Looking forward to it. Don't know that I've ever done a show in Iowa. Also, on this show later on, if you're sticking around, we've got a story about the Chinese military. Once again, they have a new weapon that they obviously got the idea from us. It's what they do.

And they make it a little better. So you'll be it's pretty cool what they did. Also I get some footage of an intolerant liberal bitch getting thrown off a plane. And it's not some young crazy woman or some shit this is the face I'm sorry of the Democrat Party and the intolerance you're gonna wanna I'm giving you a trigger warning because you'll already a couple people put their foot through the TV watching this she's a scumbag if it's a she you decide hi good night everybody. I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching!