The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bumbling Biden's Blunders | Nick Di Paolo Show #656

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

I react to sections of Biden's presser.

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Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show around. You guys make it happen. Thanks so much. Oh yeah! How are you folks? Welcome to the show. Final day of the week on a Thursday. Savannah, Georgia. How you doing? Guys, today's show is going to be a little different. Yesterday, Biden came out of his fucking rat hole for two hours, a year or so to the day that he took the White House. It's amazing you can fuck that much up in a year. I'm going to spend today's show to discuss what he said

and what an ass he made of himself and how it still amazes me, still amazes me how he is everything they said Trump was going to be. It's hilarious. To the T. To the T, as in incompetent. Might start getting us in a war. Yesterday practically invited Putin

to fucking come into Ukraine. I mean, just a, this is what happens when you steal an election, which it was, you asses, not you asses. The fact that we can't even agree on that tells me we're doomed as a species what we're going to do is just uh i don't even know what's coming i'm just going to uh react to what uh i watched it

yesterday so i'm going to react uh to the question the report is asking and that's how we do it i like it that way go ahead roll tape i wanted to zoom out on your first year in office. Inflation is up. Your signature domestic legislation is stalled in Congress. In a few hours from now, an effort in the Senate to deal with voting rights and voting reform legislation is going to fail. COVID-19 is still taking the lives of 1,500 Americans every day. And the nation's divisions are just as raw as they were a year ago.

Did you overpromise to the American public what you could achieve in your first year in office? And how do you plan to course correct going forward? Why are you such an optimist? Pause. Why are you such a smartass? Why don't you answer the question, you schmuck? Everything he said was true. You see the fake smile coming on as the guy's piling it on, which everything he said was true. How about a little humility? Go, hey, I know it wasn't the best first year or whatever,

just a little, and then go on and spew your bullshit. He can't even do that. The whole fucking press conference yesterday, you know what his take was? I got more done than any president. He thought he had a good year. Now, again, I want to get mad at him, but I know his jerk-off handler said, you got to be positive. And they're all shitting their pants behind his back. He's just saying, go ahead. Look, I didn't overpromise, but I have probably outperformed what anybody thought would happen. Pause. He outperformed.

What, anybody? Yes, as far as fucking things up. You hit it out of the ballpark, Joe. Soulless Joe Jackson. You'll be terrible, yo. Yeah, you outperformed. Probably said that on your honeymoon, too, didn't you? You dirty fucking rotten. Go ahead. Yeah, you outperformed. Probably said that on your honeymoon, too, didn't you?

You dirty fucking rotten. Go ahead. The matter is that we're in a situation where we have made enormous progress. You mentioned the number of deaths from COVID. Well, it was three times that not long ago. It's coming down. Everything's changing. What? It's getting better. More people. I didn't over promise, but I guess I have to address each lie.

More people have died of COVID under you than Trump. You spook. What are you talking about? What is he talking? Things are coming down. Yeah. Your approval ratings fucking speeding to the ground. Go ahead. Look at what we've been able to do. You'd have to acknowledge we made enormous progress.

But one of the things that I think is something that, one thing I haven't been able to do so far is get my Republican friends to get in the game of making things better in this country. Yeah, blame game. There you go. I wanted to zoom out. Hold on. Blame game.

It's the Republicans. What were they supposed to lay down for you? First of all, after they stole an election, you had about 16 of them lay down for you. Like that would ever happen if somebody stole an election from the road. It's the Republicans' fault. It's the people's fault. It's our followers' fault.

That's what they're supposed to do. They oppose the... That's how it works, Joe. You've only been in D.C. for 100 years. Buddy, he makes me angry, man. Am I right? What else? I did not anticipate that there'd be such a stalwart effort

to make sure that the most important thing was that President Biden didn't get anything done. Think about this. What are Republicans for? Pause. What are they for? I don't know. Low taxes, safe borders, low crime. Borders? Low crime? Need I go on, stupid? Put on Fox for five minutes. Or even CNN now.

We don't know what they're for. We know what they're for. Most of it's in the Constitution, something you're crapping on. Oh, my God. What are they for? Getting rid of critical race theory. Not pitting kids against each other. Not listening to Fauci, who's been proven to be a fucking liar.

What do they want? What do you want? I probably just answered that one, but go ahead. Are they for? Name me one thing they're for. Pause. Where's the fucking press? Where's the press? There's a hundred people in the press

there. None of them raises their hand. I don't know. Legal, fair but legal immigration, close the borders. Again, wages rise, whatever. What are you talking about? Nobody pushes back. And the whole, that's the other thing, the whole tone of this, they kept, I don't know which questions exactly we got, but they kept asking foreign policy questions. None of the shit that's going on, why is crime going through the roof, murder, none of this, you and me, it affects our lives.

The press covered his ass by staring the ship away from the rocks, asking him about all the other shit. Go ahead. The problem here is that I think what I have to do in the change in tactic, if you will, I have to make clear to the American people what we are for. We've passed a lot. We've passed a lot of things that people don't even know. Pass in front of the queen. Oh, Camille. Understand what's in it, understandably. Remember when we passed the Affordable Care Act

and everybody thought that it really was getting pummeled and beaten and it wasn't until after we were out of office and that next campaign, that off-year campaign and I wasn't in office anymore. We went to a, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, I was in the office, covered. And they said, huh? We didn't know that. We didn't know that. Really? We won over 38 seats because we had explained to the people exactly. So pause. What you're saying is we have to wait. So you don't have that. You don't have, you can't afford to wait. You're 106. You could be gone to my, seriously. He's saying we've got to wait a year or two before we figure out what he did good? Oh, my God, he's such a horseshit...

All politicians are full of shit, but most of them know how to hide it. Poor guy. It's really elder abuse. I know people say that, but I feel... No, I don't. Fuck him. Go ahead.

In fact, it passed. Yeah. Oh, God. He jumps around. It's the Republicans aren't agreeing with everything I'm trying to push. What, they don't like Marxism? All right, let's roll, shall we? Mary Roos, ABC. Thank you, Mr. President. You mentioned your Republican colleagues, but right now your top two legislative priorities, your social spending package and voting rights legislation, are stalled,

blocked by your own party after months of negotiation. You are only guaranteed control of Washington for one more year before the midterms. Do you need to be more realistic and scale down these priorities in order to get something passed? No, I don't think so. When you say more realistic, I think it's extremely realistic to say to people, because let me back up. Yeah. Back up, right to those flags.

Fall through that curtain. You all really know the politics in this country and your networks and others. You spend a lot of time, which I'm glad you do, polling this data, determining what the American people's attitudes are, et cetera. American people overwhelmingly agree with me on prescription drugs. They overwhelmingly agree with me on the cost of education. They overwhelmingly agree with me on early education. Pause.

Any politician that said those are the things they wanted to fix, everybody would agree with. Right? He's cherry picking the things that everybody would say yes to, except for the teachers unions. Go ahead, Dinkweed. They're overwhelming. Go on the list on child care. And so we just have to make the case what we're for and what the other team's not for. The other team? Let me ask you, what are you, the fourth-string quarterback? The country wants a quarterback we had the last four years.

How about that? Or somebody like him? You're a mamalook. And then Dinkweed went on to ask Hans Morquist. You're not going to scale down any of these priorities, but so far that strategy isn't working. Hold on your mask i want to see legislative ticket i am done real big ones done bigger than any president has ever gotten but currently mr president your spending package voting rights legislation they're not going anywhere so that's true is there anything that

you are confident you can get signed into law before the midterm elections yes i'm confident we can get uh i'm gonna make hair snipping legal big chunks of the uh bill back better law signed into law and i'm confident that we can take the case to the american people that the people they should be voting for who are going to oversee whether the elections in fact are legit or not should not be those who are being put up by the republicans to determine that they're going to be able to change the outcome of the election. Do you know how corrosive that is?

What he just said? He's already going if we lose it because it was fixed. Can you fucking imagine coming from that schmuck who knows about more? It's one thing if any guy who won legitimately said, oh, there were no questions about his win. This motherfucker, the balls, because they're not going to let black people vote. Can you find one? Can you name one? Even black people think you're full of shit on this. It's insulting to them. But it's called the preemptive strike is what they're doing.

Because he knows they're going to get smoked in the midterms thanks to all the shit he's got done. Right? And so he's just laying the groundwork so they can step. They probably already have lawyers lined up to sue, you know. Oh, my God. Go ahead. Actually get an election.

And by the way. Yeah. I haven't given up. We haven't finished the vote yet on what's going on on the on voting rights and the John Lewis bill and others. But really, fuck you and your bone spurs. So John Lewis said John Lewis, former civil rights icon. Sounds like an old racist guy. That's all he sounded like to me. I don't know. All right. What else we got? Your top foreign policy advisers have warned that Russia is now ready to attack Ukraine, but there's still little unity among European allies about what a package of sanctions against Moscow would look like.

If the U.S. and NATO aren't willing to put troops on the line to defend Ukraine, and American allies can't agree on a sanctions package, hasn't the U.S. and the West lost nearly all of its leverage over Vladimir Putin? Putin? Given how ineffective sanctions have been in deterring Putin in the past, why should the threat of new sanctions give him pause? Pause. I go, what's her name?

I don't know. Jennifer? Huh? Jennifer, why are you asking about Russia? And there's going to be nine other questions about Russia. When the country you're living in is falling apart at the seams, you're paying fucking $8 for gas or whatever. There's no food on the shelves, and you're asking about Russia.

You should be going, how come our country looks just like Russia, circa 1960? That's what you should be asking about Russia, you filet mignon. Go ahead. Because he's never seen sanctions like the ones I promised will be imposed. Oh, boy. He's got a lot of Trump in him. will be imposed. Oh, boy! He's got a lot of Trump in him.

We're in a situation where... The greatest... He's going to be the strongest, strongest scientist probably ever. Belt and Willow, two hands. Go ahead. Vladimir Putin is about to... We've had very frank discussions.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure you pushed him all over the room. The idea that NATO is not going to be united, I don't buy. I've spoken to every major NATO leader. We've had the NATO-Russian summit. We've had other, the OSCE has met, et cetera. And so I think what you're going to see is that Russia will be held accountable if it invades. And it depends on what it does.

It's one thing if it's a minor incursion, and then we end up having to fight about what to do and not do, etc. Pause. Here's what I'd ask about. Why, what do we give a shit about Ukraine and whether they invade? What do we benefit from that? We were the number one country on the planet when Trump was in energy independence. What else is there other than your fucking son might sit on some board over the... What benefit... If Russia all of a sudden woke up tomorrow and said, wait, Mexico is under

our control, you would get pissed too. I don't understand what the benefit is. I'm sure it's oil-related or whatever, but, you know what I mean? You're really going to... They have... We're fucking with the only fucking nuclear rival to us. You know, Russia, I don't know if you guys know,

it has a smaller fucking economy than Texas. It's a little shithole of a country other than the nukes. So let's go pick on somebody else. He's going to start a hot war for no reason because he's a hot mess. Who's with me? Anybody? All right. We do what they're capable of doing with the force amassed on the border.

It is going to be a disaster for Russia if they further invade Ukraine and that our allies and partners are ready to impose severe cost and significant harm on Russia and the Russian economy. Really, Joe? Kiss my ass. What are you going to do to the Russian economy? You can shut it down. I could shut it down.

Christ's sake. It's always sanctions and shit. Putin's just laughing. You know? What if China steps into Taiwan, too? At the same time. I don't know a lot about history, but I've watched enough.

I've ordered those, you know, World War History fucking, those things on TV. And I love watched enough. I've ordered those, you know, World War History fucking, those things from on TV. And I love that shit. And isn't it, can't you see it sort of forming? Russia, China, Tehran. Like we were, you know, World War II, the Japanese, the Germans.

We're over here. And it's just starting to, then a schmuck like this comes along. Next thing you know, you're blown up, going to get your fucking muffler fixed. I'm sorry, it's Detroit. Go ahead. I wanted to follow up briefly on a question asked by Bloomberg. You said that Russia would be held accountable if it invades, and it depends on what it does.

It's one thing if it's a minor incursion, and we end up having to fight about what to do and what not to do. Are you saying that a minor incursion by Russia into Ukrainian territory would not lead to the sanctions that you have threatened or are you effectively giving Putin permission to make a small incursion into the country? Good question. It is a good question. Why are you laughing? It it did sound like it, didn't it? The most important thing to do. What did he say? What did he say? Sure did sound like it, didn't it? But he stuttered through the whole thing. Oh, the poor prick. Go ahead. Big nations can't bluff, number one. Number two, the idea

Holy, pause. Big nations can't bluff. Anybody remember the Bay of Pigs? That was a pretty good bluff, wasn't it? Bay of Pigs. If I opened a bar, that would be the name. Bunch of dirty whores. Hey, Billy, let's go to the Bay of Pigs.

It's a nice place. Who is coming in? If he had spent another hour, he'd be a fucking postul. Come on, Paulie, help me out. What do you think of him? I don't know how to make a meal. Go ahead. Do anything to split NATO. Like a split your head open. Which would have a profound impact on one of

I think a profound impact on one of Putin's objectives is to weaken NATO. Feel that energy coming off him? So the question is, if it's something significantly short of a significant invasion, or not even significant, just major military forces coming across. For example, it's one thing to determine that if they continue to use cyber efforts, well, we can respond the same way with cyber.

Okay, what if they get physical? How are you going to respond then? That's what she's really asking you. Oh, my, he didn't even have a good answer for that. Didn't have a good answer for it. Oh, God help us. He should come out to the podium and go, hello, I'm a horse's ass. Do you notice, what's that, the third Russian question? Trump might as well be in the room. Anything but talk about BLM and the fucking, and the murder skyrocketing in all the Democratic run states. Don't bring that up. They get their

marching orders from like the New York Times. The White House calls up, listen, this is what we're going to do. I'll call on so-and-so. I think Ducey got one question. They usually give him a follow up. Ducey got like one question. Biden almost was like, but sit down. All right. Let me ask you, big picture, particularly when you think about voting rights and the struggles you've had to unify your own party around voting rights. Unity was one of your key campaign promises. In fact, in your inaugural address, you said your whole soul was in bringing America together, uniting our people. People heard the speech that you gave on voting rights in Georgia recently, in which you described those who are opposed to you

to George Wallace and Jefferson Davis. Oh, this is great. And some people took exception to that. What do you say to those who were offended by your speech? And is this country more unified than it was when you first took office number one number one i gotta i gotta go number one anybody who listened to the speech that i did not say listen to this that they were going to be a george wallace or a bull connor listen to the second i said we're gonna have a

decision in history that is going to be marked just like it was then. You either voted on the side that didn't make you George Wallace or didn't make you Bull Cut. Pause. We're not saying you meant they were literally going to turn into George Wallace. Seriously. How fucking dumb does he think people are? If you stay in D.C. that long, 50 years, that's what happens to you. He really thinks you're retarded. I didn't say they were going to become... We're not saying that.

You said whoever didn't think like you on this issue was akin to Bull Connor or fucking whoever. What if... He's like a four-year-old, gets caught breaking his hand in the cookie jar. I wasn't going to eat the cookie. I wasn't going to rub it on my... How fucking insulting. Insulting. And how dare he? This guy fucking spoke at Senator Byrd,

ex-Grand Wizard Cyclops, whatever his name is. He spoke at his goddamn funeral. Remember he was bragging how Bull Connor liked him? This was years ago. Got no fucking, no. Hey, Obama was only right about one thing, in my opinion. When he found out Joe was right, he said, don't underestimate him fucking things up.

Remember he said that's an exact quote. So you got that right, Obama. Go ahead. But if you did not vote for the Voting Rights Act back then, you were voting with those who agreed with Conor. Yeah, that's not the situation today. And so I think Mitch did a real good job of making it sound like I was attacking them.

If you notice, I haven't attacked anybody publicly. Any senator, any congressman publicly. You haven't? And my disagreements with them have been made to them, communicate to them privately or in person with them. You never attacked Trump? My desire still is, look. Look, I can't think of nothing to say. Look. I underestimate it. or in person with them. You never attacked Trump? My desire still is, look. Look, I can't think of nothing to say.

Look. I underestimated one very important thing. You need brains to do this job. I never thought that the Republicans, like for example, I said. It's a good time to tell a joke to the press. Lighten things up. Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says.

Why, he asks. Don't you have a vase? See, Joe, you're open with that. And then everybody's on your side. Go ahead. They got very upset. I said, there are 16 members of the present United States Senate who voted to extend the Voting Rights Act. Now, they got very offended by that. That wasn't an accusation. It was stating a fact.

What has changed? What happened? Pause. What has changed since fucking night? Pause. What has changed? Since fucking night, the voting rights act. I mean, since the Bull Connor days, what has changed? He's talking like we haven't moved. Do you guys see through this?

Please tell me you do. First of all, they call it the voting rights act. Nobody, nobody, not fucking one person was turned down for illegitimate reason to fucking vote last time. It was the biggest turnout ever, matter of fact. What? Voting rights, it's just the opposite. Oh, my God. Remember, we read on the show a month ago, black people saying, it was a poll, saying they thought it was bullshit that, you know, people would not have to show an ID.

Jesus Christ, how do you people, again, I'm talking, I know I'm preaching to the choir, tell your friends to fuck off, the ones who vote. How do they still vote Democrat? Honestly, they learned to play the race card, the Democrats, 40, 50 years ago. And they went, somebody said, this is what we're riding, baby. And they've been stepping on the gas harder and harder. But now it's coming to the, it's finally cracking a little bit, I think, you know. But he's laying the groundwork for when they get smoked in the midterm. So I bet you they already got a thousand people, black people that paid them off.

Look, we're going to need you in November to come out and say i couldn't vote they told me i was black but i know i'm black go ahead let's stupid talk happened why is there not a single republican not one oh that's not the republican party so that's not an attack is the country more unif is the country more unified than when you first took office? The answer is, based on some of the stuff we've got done, I'd say yes, but it's not nearly unified as it should be. Yeah. Now somebody should say, is that your fault? I'm going to sneak in there next time. Joe, why is anal warts more popular than you are right now? A lot of people say you're not only the worst president, you know, of our generation, fucking in the history of this country.

How do you feel about that? Joe, I went to fucking Walmart, and the shelves are empty, Joe. Where's Pete Buttigieg? Is he getting blown behind a dumpster? His fucking boyfriend? Where are these guys? Where is Buttigieg? They say they're grooming him.

I'd rather Kamala than him. Yeah, same thing. Couple of bitches. Go ahead. Peter Doocy. Why are you trying so hard in your first year to pull the country so far to the left? First question. Well, I'm not. I don't know what you consider to be too far to the left if, in fact, we're talking about...

Pause. I'll answer it for you. What's too far to the left? Watching cities burn, people get murdered and shit, and having the vice president fucking bail them out. That's too far to the left. Letting murderers, you know, no fucking re-bail reform. People with records a mile long back on the streets two minutes after they, Asian people being pushed in front of subways by black people and you not address, That's too far left. People are going, that's not.

Yeah, it is. They're trying to, if you guys don't understand, they're trying to turn, create complete chaos in our society to reform it. I mean, does he really think that they're not more radical now? I mean, what do you... Go ahead. We had the money for COVID, making sure we had the money to put together the bipartisan infrastructure,

making sure we were able to provide for those things that, in fact, would significantly reduce... Oh, I forgot one. How about shutting down... How about shutting down anybody who's right of center on Twitter or states a fact about COVID? Censorship of people who don't think like you. That's kind of far left, isn't it?

That transcends political parties. That's fucking outright Marxism or fascism. Mama Luke. What the dink talk? He's making me sick. They have to continue to work hard. I don't know how that is pointed to the left. If you may recall, you guys have been trying to convince me that I am...

An asshole. We haven't done it yet. I'm not. I like him, but I'm not Bernie Sanders. I'm not a socialist. You don't like him. You're a Jew-hater. I'm a mainstream Democrat, and I have been.

And mainstream Democrats have overrun me. If you notice, the 48 of the 50 Democrats supported me in the Senate. Support him in the Senate. I've done everything I've asked. The fuck is he, Corleone? Go get him, Deuce. That was it for him, right? Yeah, one question.

Yeah, that's right. Then he went this way. All right. I wanted to clarify. I wanted to clarify, a moment ago, you were asked whether or not you believed that we would have free and fair elections in 2022 if some of these state legislatures reformed their voting protocols. You said that it depends. Do you think that they would in any way be illegitimate? Oh, yeah, I think it easily could be illegitimate.

Imagine, imagine if that... Who would know better than you? Trump has succeeded in convincing Pence to not count the votes. Imagine if... He should have. In regards to 2022, sir, the midterm election. Oh, 2022. Yeah, today, stupid.

Imagine if those attempts to say that the count was not legit. You have to recount it, and we're not going to count. We're going to discard the following votes. I mean, sure, I'm not saying it's going to be legit. The increase in the prospect of being illegitimate is in direct proportion to us not being able to get these reforms passed. And see, nobody's asking even that guy. Then you go, what reforms?

Mr. President, can you point to 10 black people who complained they weren't allowed to vote? Seriously, can you name three? Show us who these people are. And by the way, on the subject, where are all the white supremacists I've been hearing about that are a threat to the homeland? As I watch viral video after viral video of young black men killing Asian women,

stabbing young college girls. Wait, wait, you know, these are the questions that should be asked. Fucking, if you, these schmucks in the press corps, they live in D.C. They're part of the bubble. Oh, my fucking word. I guess it's all a show. He's so cynical, Biden. Like, I think he's so, there's a part of him going, come on, we all know this is bullshit.

The global cabal wants the United States to change. I just happen to have catched it at the wrong time. I'm the head of this show. Go ahead. I'd like to raise a delicate subject. Is that James Rosen? But with utmost respect for your life accomplishments and the high office you hold.

A poll released this morning. Pause. By the way, James Rosen, you know why I know and why you guys should know who he is? Eric, what was the black Obama's attorney general? Eric Holder? Yeah, Holder. Eric Holder broke into his computer.

He had people break into his computer. And I think it was, yeah, it was James. He actually, they asked Holder what he regretted that, you know, he brought that up. He said, I just want to let you guys know that everybody's filthy. Go ahead, James. Morning consult found 49% of registered voters disagreeing with the statement, Joe Biden is mentally fit. Not even a majority of Democrats who responded strongly affirmed that statement. I'll let you all make the judgment whether they're correct.

Well, so the question I have for you, sir, if you'd let me finish, is why do you suppose such large segments of the American electorate have come to harbor such profound concerns about your cognitive fitness? Thank you. I have no idea. Yes, sir. It's freedom, baby. Yeah. i have no idea how about you did there remember you did a somersault three cartwheels on the steps going up to the plane how about you shitting your pants in front of camille uh i don't know shit like that how about you not coming out of your bunker the whole time uh during the election you spoke in front of like bunker the whole time during the election? You spoke in front of like 12 people in a Toyota while Trump had 50,000 up the street and we weren't supposed to draw any conclusions.

Oh my God, that's why we think you're gone. How about you mixed up your wife with your sister-in-law? Remember that fucking thing? How about you sniff the hair of anybody under 12? And then you do this. I touched her tits. How about you hang out at the mall and you follow girls into Abercrombie and Fitch? While they're picking out jeans.

Anyways, go ahead. Around this time last year when you were campaigning in Georgia, I think one of the things you told people was the power is literally in your hands. You know, if voters give Democrats the House and the Senate and the presidency, that all these big things can get accomplished. And, you know, we've seen stalemate. We've seen things being stymied. Stymied? Why should folks believe you this time around?

Can you think of any other president who's done as much in one year? Pause. The whole room in unison should have went, Trump! Everybody. Are you dog-styling me? This is what I'm saying. Does he really believe this? Or is he senile?

Or is he that cynical? I don't know which one it is. Can you name? Well, as far as doing negative shit, no. You fucking, you're second to none, you schmuck. I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I.

He can't hold above me nor I. But he's him. Be salacious 17th century. I don't know what that had to do with anything. I just saw it. And I love that sound clip. Go ahead. Let the schmuck shit his pants.

Name one for me. I'm asking you. I'm serious. You guys talk about how nothing's happened. Look how defensive. Nothing has happened. I don't think there's been much on any incoming president's plate that's been a bigger menu than the plate I had given to me.

I'm not complaining. It made no sense either. Knew that running in. You know, my menu was like the cheesecake factory menu. Trump had like a brochure from a vegan coffee shop. And then I had things and onions in it. What? Oh, God.

I have a big mouth! Then, uh, we ask a question of Camille Harris, and she said this. Hound dog is gonna eat that pussy. Sound like a man. Why do my sound bites keep disappearing? What the fuck is going on? Every day it's something fucking new. Your sister's box.

Go ahead. The fact of the matter is we got an awful lot done. Oh, my God. You ought to be punched about the face and head. And there's more to get done. But look. But look. Let me ask a rhetorical question. Oh, here we go. No, you ought to be punched about the face and head. And there's more to get done. But look. But look. Let me ask a rhetorical question.

Oh, here we go. No, you better not. Watch. No, I better not. No, I won't. Anyway. You're going to eat lightning and you're going to drop thunder. I was waiting for him to pull one of these.

We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks! You know that's going to happen. Somebody's going to catch him on a hot mic.

He wouldn't know a mic from an ice cream cone. Go ahead. Nearly two years have passed since the beginning of the global coronavirus outbreak, and you again today acknowledge that Americans are frustrated and they're tired. Based on your conversations with your health advisors, what type of restrictions do you imagine being on Americans this time next year, and what does the new normal look like for social gatherings and travel to you? Well, the answer is I hope the new normal will be that we don't have, still have 30 some million people not vaccinated.

Oh, suck a dick and die, you motherless fuck. And have taken advantage of what we have available with the pill that is a problem that appears to be as efficacious as it seems to be that you're going to be able to deal with this virus in a way that after the fact you have an ability to make sure you don't get so you don't get very sick. What did he just say? Translator, please. I hope that what happens is the rest of the world does what I'm doing and provides significant amounts of the vaccine to the rest of the world.

Thank you, Donald Trump. Because it's not sufficient that we just have this country not having the virus. Pause. You've invited the rest of the world here, you stupid fuck stupid fuck and you know what you're not even making them get vaccinated i'll tell you what i'll get vaccinated when you come to me to a um i don't know chichi's give me a mexican restaurant we go in the kitchen and you make all those guys get back go Go ahead. Control the virus, but you can't pull the wall high enough

to keep a new variant out. So it requires one of the things that I want to do, and we're contemplating figuring out how to do. Have you seen the new variant with the sombrero on it coming over the wall? How to get done. And that is how do we move in a direction where the world itself is vaccinated?

It's not enough. Oh, my God. You know what? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! That's all I hear in my head when I'm listening to him. It's not enough.

Is that enough of a sign for you? It's a global. He's part of the global cabal, Bill Gates. It's not enough. What you guys don't know in that serum we're shooting into you, there's a little thing that we can try. Whoever knows, whatever. I don't want anybody I know to die from it, but I'm kind of hoping they're on an iron lung in like five years so I can laugh at it. That's wrong. Sisters, I don't want anybody I know to die from it, but I'm kind of hoping they're on an iron lung in like five years so I can laugh at it.

That's wrong. Sisters, I don't mean that. But do you see what a schmuck he is? Let me just... Every time somebody asks a tabloid question, that smile come up. Did you see how the name and other president got more done than me?

Oh, my God. Even people like on CNN fucking fainted when they... Again, that's what happens when you steal an election. Somebody gets put in charge who would have never been put in charge in the first place if you followed the will of the people. Don't ever believe this jerk is legitimate, ever. And don't believe the preemptive strike that

the midterms are going to be crooked. You know what? If they do that, and they are going to get smoked, and they are going to say that, you're going to have to back it up. Unless you're lining up a bunch of people of color right now and teaching them what to say, you know, a year from now or whatever, 10 months from now, you know, you're going to have to back it up. Nobody believes for a second anybody in this country can't vote legally if they follow the protocols. Nobody buys that for a second. Fucking dirty, dirty, dirty politicians. I don't know if I'm going to vote because even when I was standing in line last time even when I was standing in line

that was the whole thing in my head going does this even really does it really matter I mean I see who's getting appointed attorney general yeah I said appointed attorney generals that people I mean Lori Lightfoot

you want me to believe she got voted in as mayor and you know what I mean? I think it's all horse shit. We're just pawns in a chess match. Anyways, anyhow, I better stop smoking. I'm starting to sound like Wolfman Jack. It's 10 noon at the Midnight Special. And I have a cold.

I might have picked up a little Omicron, folks, if it exists. I'm not shitting you. My wife is sick as a dog. And to be a good husband, you know, I got in bed with her and breathed in all that shit and woke up this morning with an upset stomach and a clamorini. My throat's killing me right now. I think it might have something to do with the, how many planes is I on? Four this week? Four different planes.

I don't know. I don't know what to believe anymore, folks. I just hope sickle cell does not come back because my family's very susceptible to that. Only white people ever get it. We can't figure it out. Well, that's it for here, guys. You can hear more on today's Encore show. Make sure to subscribe on thecomicsgym.com or patreon.com to access that and to support the show, or just go to nickdip.com, it says. Nickdip.com and make a contribution like these fine people did this week. Oh, and

before I forget, I'm back on tour, including the New York and New Jersey area, the first weekend of February. Get full tour dates at nickdip.com. Anyways, thanks to these fine Americans for contributing to the show and keeping it going. One-time contributions. We had a lot of new names here. Tommy Lent in New York. Curtis Gillen, Ohio. Christopher Rorty, Michigan. Excuse me, my eyes are all slimy, so if I fuck up, you know.

Gary Wick, Minnesota. David Hertz, California. Mark Ford, Minnesota. David Hertz, California. Mark Ford, Arizona. Jared Rockhold, Oklahoma. Thomas Dunbrook of Ohio. Pardee Austin, Nevada. Nikolaos Zotos, Florida. Pauly Sagnella, a buddy in Connecticut.

Sean Powell, who's got no liver left in Florida. Kit Fortney, quarterback from Michigan. Larry Ramey, Ohio. Pete Sapal, Mizzou. Christopher Samaras, Maine. How are you doing? Good to see you. Tara Hickson, Kansas.

Bruce Lansman, California. Melody Waltke, Utah. John Canal, New Jersey. Pete Basquiglio, New Jersey. Frank Lucente, the Gambino family, New York. Steve Stacey, Florida. Doug Young. And new monthly supporters, I think we got a few.

Kevin Fontaine of Alabama. Kenny Carroll of Maryland. God bless you, Kenny. Will Boghazian of Connecticut, Jamie Puccio, New York, Michael Cicelys, New Jersey, Ann Verna, Craig Fernandez, Dustin Howard, Joey C. Molina, Robert Soley, Stephen, Stephen Kahn, Stephan Stephen Kahn whatever hey thanks a lot that was a pretty good list as you remember

when I was on didn't get in trouble before with YouTube I used to have five remember I'd have three pages a day

of thank yous and so they kicked us in the balls but my manager said we doubled views more than doubled them since last month

or something so we made some marketing adjustments thanks to Dallas and Tommy, and we're picking up speed. That's it. You guys think and I'll say you're very welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take care. guitar solo guitar solo Thanks for watching!