The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bye Bye DEI At UT | Nick Di Paolo Show #1549

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about UT rids DEI, Inmate rids balls and much more! Support the show and get 15% off your Perfect Jean order at https://www.theperfectjean.nyc/ with promo code NICKDIP15 Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Well, punch it. It's better than being pissed on I don't think so I hate to start the show on a touchy point with a disagreement hey folks

welcome to the show it's a Thursday which is the end of the week for me and my friend Dallas OV nice great to be with you Steven Crowder notified me yesterday for me and my friend Dallas OV. Nice. Great to be with you. Steven Crowder notified me yesterday. His show needs me because Gerald, his right-hand man,

and like sidekick and brains and his wife's having a baby, I guess. So they need me Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So I'll be flying out Thursday night. Hopefully your fucking door doesn't blow off the plane or a window or whatever. And so I'll be there. But we'll prepare stuff before I leave, hopefully, to give you guys to chew on. It puts us in a weird position. Anyways, last night, I don't know what happened. First of all, I have a belly button hernia. I don't, again, it must have happened when I was pushing while I was doing the poo-poo. Because my belly button, which is usually kind of round,

and it looks like Rocky's eye. It's sagging in one. I want to show you, but I don't want to be gross. And it hurts if you touch it. It hurts like a motherfucker, which is very common. I think my brother had it. They put mesh in there. And I've got enough mesh between the vaginal mesh, you know, and all that. I've got enough. I'm like a chicken coop from the waist down.

Anyway, so, yeah, I don't know when I'm going to get that fixed. Hopefully, if I just lay off working out. I probably didn't live. I don't know. When you're 62, shit starts buzzing. Anyways, last night, I wake up to pee at about 3.30, as old men do, and I'm soaked. COVID-like soaked. Head is soaked.

Sheets. Not just my head. Fucking sheets. Everything. I reach down like my thighs. And I can literally. And it's a waterbed. It's cheap.

I bought it at a yard sale. No. And I'm all fucking sweaty. I get up to piss. This is just what happened to me the first time I got COVID. I had the fucking chills. Then I go to get back in my bed. And it's too damp and wet.

So, yes, don't worry. I alternate with the wife, okay? You'll know once you're married 30 fucking years. Trust me. You will value a quality post-opedic. It's about 70 feet by 90 feet.

So I fucking literally had to pull up a sheet on top of the wet sheet and sleep between that and the fucking whatever the comforter or whatever the fuck, because it was so wet. And then again, I get up this morning and I don't know. So it's very weird. And as you know, I've had stomach problems for three, four days. Those sort of went away. I don't know what's going on.

Don't worry about it. I just thought I'd share that with you because it threw me right back to when I got the old Coverini. That was not COVID light. That was the original batch. It's sort of like banquet beer. The original course is what I... So I don't know what's going on. Doesn't help that I've been hitting the sauce every chance I get, probably.

But I'm supposed to kill it. That's what my grampy said. Everything was a glass of wine with him. Grammy's got cancer. Give her a glass of wine. What the fuck? Okay. I guess it's about it.

What else happened yesterday? I can't even remember. They're all blending together. But again, look for me on Crowder next week. I sleep better in hotel rooms. I'm going to be honest with you. Unless I get that room next to the ice machine where it sounds like somebody's putting people

through a wood chipper all night, which is the one they give the comedian all the fucking time. And I get the couple next door banging. And I got my fucking ear with a glass. I'm on a chair. And then the next morning they come out, they're both weighs 350 and I start throwing up in my mouth. Sounded good. I had no idea what I was listening to. Anyways, let's move to bye-bye DEI, diversity, equity, and inclusion.

This is the most obvious. This is where the left is overplaying their hand. I think everybody's onto this. They keep changing the phrases, right? What was before DEI, what were we calling it? There's a- Affirmative action. Well, before, more recent than that.

Affirmative action, it started. Like a couple years ago, what were we calling it? It doesn't matter. You know it's all horse shit. Dozens of positions related to diversity, equity, and inclusion were shut down at the University of Texas at Austin, and many liberals were outraged and they were furious. You're fired. You're fired.

Get out. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. On Tuesday, about 60 workers were fired over SB 17 legislation passed by Republicans to ban DEI at public universities. The law banning DEI went into effect. If you can do that right Republicans if you can

pass shit like that why haven't you been doing it for other stuff I know you have to have a majority even at the state level right doesn't senate work the same way with a whatever what this is you finally pushing back after fucking 90 or is this just again appease us and make it look like you the law banning DEI went into effect January 1st and has already led to controversy among some universities which are resisting. Why do you need 60 people in the DEI department?

That's a lot of people. Is that how many they have? For Christ's sake, that's bigger than their band. And they got a great band. No, honestly, you're right. That's why when you hear fucking jerk-off Joe bragging about all the jobs he's created, do you know about 80% of them are government jobs?

And by the way, the rest of them came because of COVID when people all shut down, and they reopened. He counts those as jobs created. Just don't forget that, folks. I look like a jerk-off, but I am. Let's watch this video of somebody whining about, let me guess, black. Go ahead. A large number of layoffs may be tied to this DEI ban.

Pause. Is that a white guy? Yeah. He goes, a large number of layoffs may be tied to it. And they throw it to this girl here, who's a beautiful black lady, by the way, young black woman. But listen, she's going to make a Freudian slip like four seconds into what she says. And I'll tell Dallas to hit it right out. Go ahead, play. Listen. DEI, remember. That's why, Brian. Pause. Did you hear that? That's white, Brian. She said that's white. This has to go. We have to send this clip.

Citizen Free Press. Well, they see my show on Rumble. You got to use this. She acts innocent. That's white, Brian. That's a Freudian. It's a. Yeah.

Matter of fact, you're going to hear a horn in the background. That sounds like she's on a game show. And they go, eh. Watch. Watch. I spoke with a few students here at the University of Texas. And they tell me this has come as a shock to not only them, but those staff members. According to our media partners, the Austin American-Statesman,

at least 60 employees will be fired effective at the end of the semester. That's white, Brian. That's white, Brian. Honestly said Leah Barlow, president of the Black Student Alliance. I cried and I was angry. How is that different than any other day of your life? You're crying and angry and you're a black girl. How is that fucking different?

Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy, you guys. The best use of it. I know. Fucking home run. A lot of people are upset. She said, oh, said Christiana McAfee, a junior and wide receiver, I'm guessing, at University of Texas. All of my group chats are raging. Oh, what a sad life. They don't even piss and moan to each other face to face. All of the group me's, all of the slacks. What the fuck does that even mean? Pants? Everybody is raging. Yeah, maybe that's code for lesbians. Everybody is raging. She claimed that about 1,000 students met up to talk about the firings. It does hurt a lot, like a giant black cock,

to just really sit with the fact that they were told they would keep their jobs and now they no longer have them, McAfee said. This is just Texas. Texas does not want us here. Yet I'm complaining about it from a college in Texas. Socket. Texas has never wanted us here.

I don't want you here. I don't mean black people. I mean the whiny fucking ones. Plenty of black people smarter than me that go to college that do fine in this country. Shut it. The official account for Texas Democrats said it was just the beginning. Texas Republicans banned DEI on college campuses. Now 60 people at UT Austin have lost their jobs.

That is a big department. And this is just the beginning. SB 17 is anti-worker, anti-see what they do? Anti-inclusion, anti-Texas, fucking anti-Jone, anti-read a post on social media. Others refer to the firings as a purge, akin to those from the Soviet Russia. You're the Russians. You're the Russians, not the people trying to fix it, dickweed. Bye-bye. Enjoy your fucking job at fucking Target. I can't help but see this as a purge of any staff who have training in DEI,

literally like a McCarthy-era purge. Oh, sort of like where you're finding racism and kicking white people out. One guy, a trucker, made the OK sign and he lost his job. Sort of like that. That's been going on for the last fucking 25, 30 years. Shut the fuck up. Because none of the staff who have been fired have any DEI in their portfolio right now. Keyword, right now.

Who in God's name? Anyways, second half of the show, folks, I'm going to be talking about a big victory for George Carlin's estate. It involves an AI lawsuit. Very interesting, and I'm happy about it being a comedian. Also, an NHL game goes old, old, old school last night. At the drop of the faceoff, it's great. Fights galore.

It was more choreographed than frigging Rockettes. I'm starting to become a Rangers fan. I'm sorry. And a Devils fan. They hate each other, and they let it be known when the puck dropped. Anyways, stay tuned for that. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more.

It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

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I can live in jeans, and sometimes, like you said, the real one's not very comfortable, chasing a girl up a tree. Anyways, pull something. Thank you for sponsoring the real one's not very comfortable, chasing a girl up a tree. Anyways, pull something. Thank you for sponsoring the show, Perfect Jeans. Let's move on. Let's stay with, speaking of crush balls, she has no balls is this headline.

What does that mean? Well, the Justice Department filed a lawsuit Tuesday against the state of Utah and its prison system after a transgender inmate removed her own testicles in response to, that's why you get married. You don't have to do it yourself. In response to unnecessarily delayed, it's in quotes, unnecessarily delayed treatment for her gender dysphoria. Balls on this prick. Balls on this prick. Excuse me. I think this was a news story about it, right?

Something. I'll cut off your nutsack and nail it to my door. That's their surgical process. Yeah, well, that's using my mother yelling at my dad back in the day. The lawsuit alleges that the incarcerated transgender woman, unnamed in the complaint, was discriminated against by Utah Department of Corrections. Once again, you make a.00000014 of the world popular. I don't give a fuck.

And you're in prison. You're a scumbag. You're confused. I don't give a fuck. And you're in prison. You're a scumbag. You're confused. I don't give a fuck if you die tomorrow. You don't hear that on Hannity. Well, you probably do, but they bleep it. Was discriminated against by Utah Department of Corrections following multiple requests to UDOC staff.

Is that the prison? For treatment for gender dysphoria, including multiple requests for hormone therapy and a fake mustache upon entering the state prison system in 2021. So they're saying they didn't really pay attention to her demands and shit. Thank you. The inmate was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in June 2022, nine months after she first requested hormone therapy, and the hormones were not provided to her until January 2023, according to the complaint. What the hell's wrong with you? You look like a Puerto Rican whore. God bless the Sopranos. When UDOC started the complaint on hormone therapy, it did not do so safely or effectively.

Oh, so they did start her on. Oh, my God. The DOJ claims, adding that her access to care, and I quote, was contingent on a biased and unnecessary prolonged approval process. Yeah, good luck proving that, and quote, and resulted in her gender dysphoria worsening. In May 2023, complaining, as the young people say, complaining, performed dangerous self-surgery. Do-it-yourself guy, girl.

And removed her own testicles. Again, there's things for that called wives. Resulting in hospitalization and additional surgery. The lawsuit, they have audio of her doing it. She had also requested, how the fuck is this podcast not the biggest one after Rogan's? Honestly, somebody's not doing their job out there, and it ain't fucking me. She also had requested that the prison, also unnamed in the suit, modify its pat, that's pat down search policies. Listen, all the demands is stupid.

policies. Listen, all the demands is stupid, useless. Find the shiv in your shiv. And individually assesses her housing requests. UDOC denied virtually all of the complaints Americans with Disabilities Act requests, according to the DOJ. The lawsuit is demanding that the Utah and its Department of Corrections and Department of Health and Human Services adopt policies that provide equal opportunities for incarcerated individuals with gender dysphoria. Demanding it. You go fuck yourself, convict! I know. Demand, demand, demand, demand.

Do you understand how insignificant, Nick, how can you say that? I'm saying it. Some lives are worth more than others. Sorry. You're in prison, number one. That means you're a scumbag whether you have a snatch or a dick. Now that you can't decide which one, it makes you even more of a lunatic in most people's opinion. We have other shit to do, like stopping South and Central America from filling the prisons.

All right? Fuck Stan, go buy a hat at Belk's. Did that hurt her feelings? Come on, folks. It's the best show ever. Let me take a sip of my Sanka. Mmm. ever. Let me take a sip of my Sanka. Got a few famous people coming to my show in New Jersey. I'm not going to say who they are, but big names. And I guarantee you, they're big names. And after they come and see it, like, you've seen these people on TV before. They won't be able to mention it.

They'll be arrested. That's not true. You guys know. I'm like, look, I'm like the Stones. Not even the Stones. They sound great on the radio, too. Pick a band that's way better live. You know what I mean?

I did the Lettermans tonight. They don't do me justice. I just learned how to fucking do TV clean sheets. And I still murdered, but you want to come see a guy you don't know what's going to happen? Every other... Dallas knows. He's filming enough. I think the word's mercurial.

If I can look that up once. Somebody who's very unpredictable and volatile. That's all. And if I get the shits that night, you're going to see his show like you wouldn't believe. Delicious. Oh. Dallas wants that shirt made tonight.

Thank you. Delicious. What are you, German? All righty then. Hey, what did I want to say? For those of you guys in Mug Club right now, you can stick around for the rest of the show. And for those of you who aren't,

why aren't you sad you're going to leave us right now? So what you've got to do is go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club. And when you do that, you get my full show. Also, the great Steven Crowder show, who I'll be on Monday through Thursday next week. And a whole lot more. And I mean a lot more.

This guy knows how to do it. And when you're at nickdip.com, what you'd like to do is click on the tour button. You'll see May 1st and 2nd, I'll be at Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida. And then like May 10th, which is only eight more days away from that, two shows at Soul Joe's Comedy Club

in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. I can't believe we're talking about May and it's not way down the road. Dude, May 11th, the big one, it's Mother's Day weekend, Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey. And that one's literally over a thousand seats. So I'm saying, and we've sold well over 600, which is a good number. I sell in most comics, I know my fans for sure, but it's true of most comics. People buy the tickets that week or the week before or the week of the show, sometimes that day. So I'm more than happy knowing, you know, it's not going

to be 200 there. I think we're going to do very well, and so does everybody else. I talked to your soupy sales manager. What? Anyways, I'll see you at Red Bank Theater. Red Bank Theater. Jesus, Nick, why don't you make up some more lies? Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, May 11th. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town

Cause I'm not like everybody else no no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else

and I don't wanna live my life like everybody else and I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else