The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bye Bye Misinformation Board | Nick Di Paolo Show #1212

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Ministry of Truth no-more. Musk to vote Republican. AZ interview doesn't go as expected. NY Yankees cut prospect. Knife at a gun fight. Gonna need a bigger boat....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Oh yeah. Hello folks, how are you? Final day of the week, Thursday. Final day of the week, Thursday. I took the shine off my head. Now I look, I'm like white from the forehead to the eyebrows and colored fella from the adorn. Real quick, sports update. New York Rangers last night leading the game 1-0,
Starting point is 00:00:59 opening game of the series against the Hurricanes in Carolina. Very tough place to play. They're winning the whole game, 1-0. Two minutes left in a game. The Hurricanes tie it up. Goes into overtime. Three minutes into overtime, Hurricanes win. Those are the type of teams that win the Cup.
Starting point is 00:01:19 Anyway, it's such a good spectator sport, folks. I just don't know what to tell you, man. And the Sox, I think, slapped around Houston last night. After fucking... Kicked around. After Evaldi got beat like a housewife. And last night, Pavetta, again, I'm sorry to boy, people aren't Red Sox. Nick Pavetta, who's last year won 17 of 16 games.
Starting point is 00:01:48 This year has been horrible. He's 0-7, I think. His ERA is over 7. He's like the worst starting pitcher for us right now. Goes all nine innings. Gives up two hits. Nobody goes nine innings anymore. Nobody.
Starting point is 00:02:02 All nine. Two hits against the Astros. Anyways, we're still 12 and a half out. They're fucking Yankees. They haven't done this in a long time, the Yanks, with all the money they spend. They haven't come out of the gates this strong.
Starting point is 00:02:18 So do the Red Sox spend just as much, honestly, if not more. Okay. That killed three minutes. Let me write that down cross out sports look at this we can't make a pen in this country that fucking works this Christ gonna use the sharpie oh that reminds me I'm gonna bring these to the gig this weekend I won't be a settlement selling merchandise out but it's all the club will. I'll be standing there like a doofus going, hi, how are you? Anyways, let's get to it.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Speaker doofus, Janko Dimowitz. Who's that? The Department of Homeland Security's Disinformation Governance Board, which really means we'll tell you what to believe and what the truth is, Republicans. How this even got this far in this country in 2022 makes me want to shit blood. Oh, it did. The governance board, listen to this, it's being put on hold only a few weeks after its establishment was announced to the public. I didn't even know it was official, I'm going to be honest with you. And board director Nina Jankiewicz will resign, sources told the AP.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Who's not happy about that? According to the Washington Post, Department of Homeland Security made the decision on Monday, excuse me, and that the following morning the board's leader, Nina Jankiewicz, had a resignation letter already drafted.
Starting point is 00:03:47 I love it. Whether Jankiewicz ultimately decides to leave DHS remains up in the air. The Post reported, as the department offered to let her stay, despite the agency suspending all groups that have been focusing on what the Biden administration refers to as the mis-disinformation or MDM. Aren't they clever, huh? They are. Exactly. What the field?
Starting point is 00:04:21 Do you want to be? Exactly. In the meantime, DHS, that's Danvers High School where I graduated, is defending Jankiewicz against attacks from the right based on her past positions, mostly doggy and social media posts, including casting doubt on the legitimacy of the New York Post reporting on Hunter Biden's laptop.
Starting point is 00:04:51 What does that tell you? They hired a person. She was going to be head of disinformation. And after everybody proved that the laptop was real, she was saying it was false still. And that's who's going to tell you
Starting point is 00:05:01 it's real. May your mother die in a fire tonight. And that's who's going to tell you it's real. May your mother die in a fire tonight. Hunter Biden's laptop before the 2020 election. So I wonder why they suspended it. Did they do a poll and see how many people
Starting point is 00:05:16 were against it? My theory is that with the midterms coming up, they're realizing how unpopular it is, so they have to suspend it early enough. Well, that's what I mean. They must have taken a poll. That's 100% what they're doing. Yeah, exactly. You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Mary Poppins. This is the nutbag. This is the nutbag Jankowitz that was going to be in charge of all this at her best. Bouldering is really quite ferocious. It's when a hockster takes some lies and makes them sound precocious by saying them in Congress or a mainstream outlet. So disinformation's origins are slightly less atrocious. Get out of my room, you sick cunt.
Starting point is 00:05:59 That might be the best time sound drop ever. I was proud of that one. I said, where did Dallas get a hold of this fucker? Anyways. Yeah. So they're imploding, everybody. They're imploding. People are finally catching on. Maybe it took 40 years, honestly. But I don't know, and I'll ask this question again, what is going to be left of the Democrat Party once they get smoked in the midterms, which is a guarantee, and they lose the White House? Where do they go from there? They've showed us all their cards, right? They've showed us that they're true Marxists or socialists, whatever you want to call it. So where do they go from here? the Socialists, whatever you want to call it.
Starting point is 00:06:44 So where do they go from here? Which is the way that's clear. Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen, prettiest girl I ever seen. See you shake up on the movie screen, Billie Jean. Rock on. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Again, I fucked up the lyrics because that was a hit in 1976. Let's move on and stay on the Democrats, shall we? It's hot in this motherfucker. Musk rips the Democrats. Elon Musk tore into the Democrat party in a Wednesday tweet calling them the party of division and hate. You are correct, sir. I love this picture of Elon. This is why I kind of like him. I mean, that expression is kind of like, yeah, I'm a serious guy, but I'm really not. Like, yeah, I get that. I don't know. I like that expression. He looks like with a tuxedo. It actually looks like a scene out of Titanic when they're dancing and he's the rich guy. In the past I voted Democrat because they were mostly the kindness party.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Now here's what he says, but they've become the party of division and hate so I can no longer support them and will vote Republican. Now watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold. Leave that there. Let me just break this down. It scares me a little that he says he voted in the past because they were the party of kindness i don't remember that i gotta be honest with you if you were paying attention you could see they were full of shit
Starting point is 00:08:15 when i was 28 years old anyways they had him fooled one of the brightest guys on but you know he's not a politician but they have become the party of division and hate bingo got that right so he's not going to support him and will vote republican which i'd like he actually committed now he says watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold and boy they already pulled him off the s&p 500 his company or whatever the fuck it is already pulled it off and now they're investigating for hiring practices in environmental problems. This is Tesla. The guy who met at Tesla.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Environmental problems? And like I heard on the radio on the way here, he's first on the list. Exxon is 10th. Is the world not upside down? Fucking backwards have lost their ever can imagine that he's a threat to them they just i guess that's how the left the dirty marxist fight but where do you want me right here or over here right there um yeah he says they were party of kindness but they become the party of hate blah blah blah so that kind of creeps him out i'm like how bright is he but he really is um but he's so right about the dirty trex campaign already happening the multi-billionaire said he will vote republican
Starting point is 00:09:37 for likely the first time in his life again it makes me question uh in the 2022 midterm election, you know why? Because he's young back then, and youngsters believe that fucking kindness. We're all going to hold hands and finger pop each other. That's the idealistic thing. That's right, which young kids, and especially kids his age coming off of college campus, but I'm sure he didn't even go to college. Midterm election after overwhelming voting Democrat in the past. He said the Democrat party is controlled by unions and trial lawyers, which is the absolute truth. If you look at the people who belong
Starting point is 00:10:14 to the bar, it's like 89% Democrat and shit. You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! Guys, if you haven't seen that You're out of order The whole trial is out of order They're out of order Guys, if you haven't seen that movie What was it called? I forget
Starting point is 00:10:33 That's when he was the mayor I mean, he was the And he goes Don't you care, Arthur Don't you care I might never have voted for a Republican, just to be clear, Musk said during a Tuesday. Why? Is that a dirty thing? He said that in an all-in podcast. Not as funny as this, or as honest. Now this election, I will. Which is saying, I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:10:58 He's sticking it right up. He says, it definitely feels like this is not right, Musk added. The issue here is that the Democrat Party is overly controlled by the unions and by trial lawyers. Yeah, just like fucking Marxists, particularly class action lawyers. In the case of Biden, he is simply too much captured by the unions, which was not the case with Mr. Obama. Yeah, that's about the only thing you can say about him. He was in bed with Wall Street more than the Republicans, if you look at his record. Anyways, Obama was a really honest guy. We will keep this promise to the American people. If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Period. If you like your health care plan, you will be able to keep your health care plan. Boy, he lied beautifully. Period. If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan. Boy, he lied beautifully. Period. If your sister gets cranky once a month, she's having her period. All right, then. Liberals have not taken kindly to Musk vowing to allow former President Donald Trump return to the platform when he officially takes over the social media company. Then White House Press Secretary Red Bush shrubbery
Starting point is 00:12:09 Jen Psaki, no longer there, replaced by a lying black woman, said the administration is determined to prevent platforms from spreading disinformation. Who the fuck do you think they're trying to stop spreading disinformation from those platforms? Disinformation. Who the fuck do you think? They're trying to stop spreading disinformation from those platforms.
Starting point is 00:12:31 She said that at a May 10th briefing, and I yelled out, Shut your fucking mouth! Shut the fuck up, you cunt! I just heard the guy who was yelling at go, no problem. Did you hear? Listen. Shut your fucking mouth! Shut the fucking mouth! No problem, John.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Shut the fuck up! I never fucking heard that before. No problem, John. Musk has been highly critical of the left, recently stating the far left hates everyone, themselves included. You couldn't argue with that statement in a million years. Noting that he does not support the far right either.
Starting point is 00:13:16 What's funny about the far right is they're really just, to me, pro-lifers. He says they were the party of religious zealots. And yeah, they were in the 50s i mean the fucking catholic church has ripped to shreds i mean i mean i mean i don't know what the far right yes uh white supremacists but those aren't that's not far right politicians we're talking about those are just nutcases uh anyhow any he i'm glad he came out and said, hey, Democrats, kiss my grits. Movie is Injustice for All. Injustice for All. Very good. Injustice for All. Don't you care,
Starting point is 00:13:51 Arthur? I hope that was from that movie. Or Dog Day Afternoon, but I think it was that one. Just plays a fucking New York lawyer so good. Anyways, speaking of savvy politicians, I gotta be honest with you because I don't follow this shit like I'm Tom Brokaw in 1974, but I had never heard of this woman. Maybe we have mentioned her in the past. I don't know. Ricky Lake. No, Carrie Lake. Ricky Lake.
Starting point is 00:14:19 This woman, Carrie Lake, say hi to the next possible governor of Arizona. All I had to see was a two-minute clip of her, and I would vote for her. Journalists were not ready for Carrie Lake. Carrie Lake was not there to play games. Here you have, once again,
Starting point is 00:14:40 a journalist, which this is what the press consists of now. 89% of it is young girls with a fucking, you know, communications journalism degree out of a junior college in Jacksonville, and they have no idea what they're doing. And you see it, and again, you can just tell her beliefs after you watch this. It's unreal. And there's little Carrie Lake looking all innocent
Starting point is 00:15:05 and shit. She might as well be like a cougar behind a rock who hasn't eaten in three weeks. Watch her bitch slap this little... It's... You know why this is great? First of all, it was two women. So there was some cattiness that only women
Starting point is 00:15:21 can... You know what I mean? And... Arguing-wise wise she was already prepared for what this was coming like most politicians are you are republicans who exist now why don't you watch her that watch her cut this you might as well have a switchblade in her hand watch this encounter she destroys this poor young lady good um i have many other questions i know you do but i don't have the time for it because we're doing an event in here we're gonna go watch the movie 2000 mules which i hope that the arizona republic will finally open their eyes and cover that's the paper what's happening with our elections and stop acting like it's a conspiracy theory our elections were stolen from us our elections were corrupt and and the
Starting point is 00:16:07 calling it a fraud it instead of what what we really had which was a top-notch audit of our elections proved that there was election fraud that our elections were corrupt what specifically in the audit findings is my favorite to send you and you need to it's not my job to educate you on what that I feel like since we're on camera I would love for you to provide any evidence backing up that claim can you read yes okay then go look at it and read it okay and actually you should sit in and go to a movie not this one because we actually don't want the Republic in there but you should take the time spend the money because we actually don't want the Republic in there. But you should take the time, spend the money, because we're all sold out, actually.
Starting point is 00:16:47 But also, we prefer to have the people that we've invited. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. What's the idea? That's what this was.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Get upstairs. Sit down. Oh my god And as she's leaving She's landing shots You understand if that was a box of mats They would have stopped it 10 seconds in She was beating this girl senseless And she goes we don't want the Republican there
Starting point is 00:17:23 That's the paper that this girl works for, which don't let the name fool you. They're obviously a left fucking leaning publication. But this woman bitch slapped her. How'd you like to be married to her and argue with her about the checkbook or something? But let me tell you, as a politician, this is how I feel about Carrie Lake.
Starting point is 00:17:40 I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. I love you because you have done so much to make me happy. And hard. He's kind of cute, too, for an old lady. Old lady, she's 10 years younger than me. I really get a lot of balls, honest to God. Whatever happened to the reporter, this is, oh,
Starting point is 00:18:08 this is a quote I took from, I like to read the comment sections after to get people's take on it, because there's usually some funny zinger, but this person, guy or girl, I don't know, said, whatever happened to the, in quotes, the reporter was granted an interview.
Starting point is 00:18:24 These liberal kids, which is what she was, with a microphone and a journalism degree, act like they're doing the interviewed person a favor. That is so exactly right. Then proceed to peel the hide off conservatives' backs. Carrie Lake showed
Starting point is 00:18:39 the GOP how it's done. She's a strong person with a great future and a nice set of fun backs. Yes, sir! You might have to follow her a little more closely. Yes. I plan on going out to her property tonight.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I'll be on a 12-foot ladder looking in her shower. Did she not take her apart at the joint? It was almost painful to watch. That little girl's probably driving a forklift now for a living. Holy fucking moly. But I love it.
Starting point is 00:19:14 You've got to call these weasels on their bullshit. And it's not done enough. When reporters, and they're all lefties, asking Republicans anything at any time, that should be the tone of the exchange. I don't care what you're talking about. Every time you should point out, because here's my thinking. They control the media for the most part, right?
Starting point is 00:19:40 We have Fox News and a little bit of radio. So almost every news show, it's MSNBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, all the big ones, NBC, obviously CNN. They're on every TV anywhere. So if you're a Republican, you have a duty to put that shit out there. You know what I mean? Because it's being seen by a lot of people since they have all the outlets, really. So even if it's not, even if it has nothing to do with what you're talking about,
Starting point is 00:20:10 give them a fucking, by the way, you're a cheating asshole. End everything with that. I don't know, you might pick up a few votes. Listen to me. Let's, here's another weasel, only of a different kind. Jake the Snake is the headline.
Starting point is 00:20:26 This was, this is kind of interesting. Sports world. The Yankees cut 2019 third-round pick Jake Sanford last Thursday. I should have done a reverse of races. Now I'm looking at this. You know why? Because he's a third-round pick of three years ago. If this story was on a black guy, would they even put it in the paper?
Starting point is 00:20:46 No. It's a white guy stealing. Not bases. They cut him for allegedly stealing from his minor league teammates and scamming people for money online. You're a crumb creep. Oh, my God. According to a source, the 24-year-old outfielder was released last week after a teen investigation found Sanford and his son,
Starting point is 00:21:11 ba-ba-ba-da, no, had stolen from teammates, including equipment, that he would then try to sell online as first reported by New Jersey Advanced Media. He would steal equipment from his own teammates and sell it online. Got to have a drug problem or something. Additionally, a source said Sanford, who played college baseball at Western Kentucky, by the way, they have a good football team. They're now Division I, I believe. They were 1AA for all.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Also accepted money from prospective buyers for the equipment get this then fails to deliver the products He's doing a double steal in baseball terms he's stealing the equipment from Teammates ripping them off and then ripping off people pay for it. He doesn't send it to him. Give me his address I need a manager. Oh My god, got to grow up. You're not a kid anymore. The issues another source said could be related to gambling debts. The Yankees declined to comment on the situation. Ruben Rivera, if you remember him,
Starting point is 00:22:23 once a prize prospect for the Yankees. He was released by the Yankees during the spring training in 2002 for stealing Derek Jeter's glove and bat. Oh my, what a teammate. And reportedly selling them. Rivera was a cousin of Mariano Rivera, who is just the opposite. You know, I'm a Red Sox fan. I hate the Yankees. Mario Ravanna was one of the classiest dudes. And here's when I really loved him. They had him, the Yankees, the Red Sox opened with the Yankees. Was this after 2004? Mariano gave up the winning hit, the home run.
Starting point is 00:23:03 God, my memory. So anyways, opening day, the next season at Fenway, the Yankees are there. You know, they introduce all the players. And when they introduced Mariano Rivera, they fucking – Fenway gave him a mock chair because he handed the Sox a big game. And he didn't just stand there and be serious. He tipped his hat and started laughing. Made me love him.
Starting point is 00:23:24 I mean, he was a class act, Mariano Rivera. Anyways, but that made me, that endeared him to Red Sox fans. I mean, he was just a guy that first ballot Hall of Fame in a second. Maybe the greatest reliever ever. And then you got
Starting point is 00:23:39 the Ruben Rivera's and the Jake the Snakes of the world. Anyways, Mariano Rivera was his cousin. Just signed to return to the Yankees earlier that spring. We're talking about Ruben Rivera. Sanford was drafted in 2019, received a signing bonus. How about of $597,500? Rounded off to $600,000.
Starting point is 00:24:02 And he's selling, you know, aluminum bats and jocks for $18. It's that mentality of the NFL players who are making millions a year, then they get busted selling drugs out of their apartment. It's, again, like the article said, it has to be a gambling debt or a drug. I would think, you can't be that dumb, can you? Although, Ken, you're a Yankee prospect. According to one American League scout, Sanford you're a Yankee prospect. According to one American League scout, Sanford was not considered an elite prospect, which likely made it easy for the franchise to cut
Starting point is 00:24:31 ties with him. The outfield split last season between a low-A Tampa and high-A Hudson Valley, and he hit a combined 16 home runs and finished with an OPS of 823. That's on base plus slugging percentage for you people who are new to the game of baseball,
Starting point is 00:24:55 which was a clip by football about 50 years ago as far as the past time. But anyways, still love it. This country is queer for football. That was a bumper sticker in kentucky for basketball kentucky queer for basketball uh meaning it in a positive way um here's some more sports news kind of a duel only these guys didn't have swords in their hands. No, no, no, no! A trucker brings knife to gunfight. Anybody know where I got that from? No, I'm not going to remember the movie.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Sean Connery. The Untouchables. Sean Connery says it to whatever cost. Now, whoever's in the movie, I forget who played the good guy. He goes, typical guinea or typical wop. Something very offensive to me. Typical guinea, bringing a knife to a gunfight. And his Irish brogue.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Oh, I fucking loved it. Anyways, a knife-swinging truck driver named Nancy, lesbian, no, and a gun-toting motorcyclist faced off in the street. Road rage confrontation in Florida on Tuesday. Video shows. The rowdy encounter unfolded after Rafael Rivera. Boy, another Rivera. Bunch of trouble-making Riveras out there.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Now, this is the guy that I would end up in a road rage with, actually knocking a beer out of his hand by accident. Look at this fucking guy. That ain't good news. That beard right there says I like Mr. T, even when I'm going to chemo. The rowdy encounter unfolded after Rafael Rivera, 50, who was driving a gray Toyota Tacoma, again, Toyota, the official car of the angry minority, allegedly cut in front of a motorcyclist.
Starting point is 00:26:50 This is beautiful. You get an angry truck driver cutting off a biker at the intersection of Pine Lakes Parkway and Whirlway Drive just after 1 p.m., according to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office. So I guess he gets cut off by the biker? Oh, no. No! What the fuck are you talking to?
Starting point is 00:27:16 When the two vehicles came to a stop, Rivera got out of the truck with a knife. This guy. Are you going to go to prison the rest of your life because a guy cut you off, you fucking psycho? With a knife in his hands, an approach to motorcyclists, according to footage released by the sheriff's office,
Starting point is 00:27:31 the motorcycle's expecting confrontation slipped on a pair of brass knuckles, which we all carry in our... Let's take... Let's go to the videotape. Oh, boy, is this great! Do it!
Starting point is 00:27:50 Go ahead, do it! You got a knife, he doesn't have nothing! Shut up, woman's rowing in it. Oh! Oh! Oh, babe, I got it on film! Put the down right now! No, he ain't so tough. Get the witnesses. Witnesses.
Starting point is 00:28:08 You got a knife in your hand. Put the f***ing knife down. Get on your bike and go. You just swiped at him with a knife. Shut up, woman. I got it right here. You know what? Ruin that.
Starting point is 00:28:21 You know, ladies, whether you're a girlfriend or a wife, and your husband's in a dispute with a psychotic, you know what? Ruin that. You know, let me, ladies, whether you're a girlfriend or a wife and your husband's in a dispute with a psychotic, you know what? Either walk away or just be quiet. Do you really think you're going to help? That's what he wants to hear. He's going to turn around and get stabbed looking at you, end up shooting you if you don't shut up.
Starting point is 00:28:40 It's like the guy in the stands at a football game. Some guy's about to kick the winning field goal against his team, and he's screaming from the 580th balcony. You really think you're going to have an effect? I mean, he needs all the, his life is on the line. You think he needs, shut it. Just because I, shut it. He shoots him and then shoots her.
Starting point is 00:29:01 That would be a great sketch. I can't believe I'm not writing. Anyways, Rivera can then be seen heard calling the police. That would be the truck driver with a knife. I just had a guy pull a gun at me. What a scumbag. Moments later, Flagler County deputies responded to the scene and detained both men as they investigated the incident, cops said. After reviewing the footage taken by the passenger, it was ruled incomplete. He did have not complete control of the knife. And interviewing witnesses, Rivera was arrested, that would be the bald guy with the knife, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.
Starting point is 00:29:41 What was he trying to cut? What are you to cut? He was taken to the Sheriff Perry Hall inmate detention facility where he's being held without bond. You gotta give props to the biker. This guy was a bit of a scumbag. I'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face in. Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staley
Starting point is 00:29:59 said he applauded the way the biker handled the situation. After his life was clearly threatened, he lawfully defended himself and then de-escalated the situation, Staley said in a statement, which you couldn't do if you didn't have a gun on you. The offender is lucky he was not shot.
Starting point is 00:30:14 This guy is a big fan of this guy. I also remind the community to not take traffic enforcement in your own hands and control your anger. Call the sheriff's office instead. Why, so they can show up 10 minutes later after I'm already stabbed to death? That's faggot stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:29 You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. You want to call it by its name? Here we go. I think it's the final story. This is, it's the end of the week so we always end it on a light kind of a lighter note
Starting point is 00:30:49 you know this one's about a baby getting hit by a truck twice no you're gonna need a bigger boat is the headline breathtaking pictures show an enormous
Starting point is 00:31:03 20 foot great white shark it looks bigger than that, thought to be the biggest ever prowling the ocean. So I think it's more about girth than it was about length. But listen to this, weighing a scale-busting two and a half tons, two tons is 4,000, 5,000 pounds they're talking about. I caught about a four-pound bass. I was sweating my balls off for now.
Starting point is 00:31:30 5,000-pound fish. The mighty beast, you got to love, dubbed Deep Blue, measures up at an incredible eight feet in height. What'd they do, stand him on his tail and have him dunk? Eight feet in height with huge fins and razor-sharp teeth. Well, thanks for telling Shark. He doesn't have veneers.
Starting point is 00:31:54 What the fuck's the matter with these people? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? Look at them. You're saying a movie, folks. Stunning snaps show the mesmerizing creature who is thought to be more than 50 years old. Finally, somebody my age.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Dwarfing divers daring to swim alongside her. These divers, let me tell you, and there's some chicks there, too. They got some huge fucking stonerinis, huh? We're going to show you a clip to give you perspective put it into scale just how big uh this shark is check it out oh that's a small little fish. Hope it doesn't break my line. My drop line.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Look at this mamalouk. People swimming next to it. Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for the sail back to Boston. And soon, I don't know where, shall we see you again? Look how little they look. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
Starting point is 00:33:24 How about them girls? One of them yelled to the shark, Y'all fat fuck, look at ya! That is a real picture, folks. That looks like a movie poster, right? It does. Reminds you of Jaws, and you're like, really? I'm gonna do a... What's his name?
Starting point is 00:33:49 Hooper. Richard Dreyfuss. Ye yelling at the mayor, pointing at the billboard. Do you see that? That's about right. That's about scale. That's right. You're going to ignore this problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass. You just want to get your picture in an oceanographic. I laugh like Richard Dreyfuss now. I laughed like Richard
Starting point is 00:34:05 Dreyfuss and now I've been told. The gigantic great white, we got pictures, right? Sent ripples across the world when she was first caught. Oh, they caught on camera in 2014 off the coast of Guadalupe. God bless the fish. Over
Starting point is 00:34:22 50 years old. You can't leave it alone, let it be. Divers Mark Moeller and Kimberly Jeffries were able to identify her as Deep Blue. That's what my wife calls my balls. Thanks to a tag she was implanted with while marine experts also recognized the unique markings on her body, fake tits and you know a wig. Experts believe Deep Blue is the largest great white ever seen and has lived for more than five decades, despite often lifespan reducing things like pollution, hunting, and fishing. Gotta love an animal like this. Despite their notoriety for being dangerous sharks, Deep Blue does not have an aggressive
Starting point is 00:35:01 personality. Yeah, says you. Love these people. Yeah, not right now Love these people. Yeah, not right now it doesn't. You know what I mean? Even my dad was nice a few times. According to experts, previously pictures showed marine biologist Ocean Ramsey swimming
Starting point is 00:35:17 side by side with the creature while holding one of her fins. Oh my god. Her seemingly docile behavior was partly, they think, put down to the fact that she had just fed on a whale carcass. Yeah, a whale carcass. Delicious. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Or a family of three up the coast of Melbourne. And while it was not possible to take an exact measurement, the colossal beast looked like it could be larger than 20 feet shark, Deep Blue, who currently holds the title of the biggest white shark on the planet. 5,000 pounds. You know, and it still doesn't do it justice, right? 5,000 pounds. You know, and it still doesn't do it justice, right? Unless you're there.
Starting point is 00:36:11 You know what I mean? To see that thing, I'll put that on my bucket list. And I do mean at the very end of the list. Especially without a cage. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, fuck. I wouldn't want to be in the cage either. You know what I mean? I don't think I'd want to be near it. Caged, exactly. Well, fuck. I wouldn't want to be in the cage either.
Starting point is 00:36:25 What I mean? I don't think I'd want to be near it. Caged, okay. We all saw the movie. Those sharks will bite right through that cage. Anyways. Anyways. Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Very well and adieu to the ladies of Spain.
Starting point is 00:36:49 For we've received orders to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again. Chief, Mayor, Dallas, ladies and gentlemen. That's it, folks. That is it for the week. Again, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank yous?
Starting point is 00:37:15 No? Not this week? All right. Yeah, we're not going to thank you this week. Fuck you. No, we didn't get it. We don't have the sheet. Anyways, again, thanks for watching every week. Don't. No, we didn't get it. We don't have the sheet. Anyways, again, thanks for
Starting point is 00:37:26 watching every week. Don't forget to sign up monthly. It is a very honest, very funny show, in my opinion. But what does that matter? Thecomicsgym.com Patreon.com Go to nickdip.com if you'd like to buy something or check out my tour dates. I will be tomorrow night
Starting point is 00:37:42 and Saturday night Myrtle Beach, the Comedy Cabana. Two shows each night, 7.30, 9.30. So check it out if you're in the area. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Somebody told me
Starting point is 00:37:58 I had been waiting, but I don't see it on my phone. Anyways, that's it. You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take it easy. guitar solo Outro Music

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.