The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bye Bye Misinformation Board | Nick Di Paolo Show #1212
Episode Date: May 19, 2022Ministry of Truth no-more. Musk to vote Republican. AZ interview doesn't go as expected. NY Yankees cut prospect. Knife at a gun fight. Gonna need a bigger boat....
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🎵 Oh yeah.
Hello folks, how are you?
Final day of the week, Thursday.
Final day of the week, Thursday.
I took the shine off my head.
Now I look, I'm like white from the forehead to the eyebrows and colored fella from the adorn.
Real quick, sports update.
New York Rangers last night leading the game 1-0,
opening game of the series against the Hurricanes in Carolina.
Very tough place to play.
They're winning the whole game, 1-0.
Two minutes left in a game.
The Hurricanes tie it up.
Goes into overtime.
Three minutes into overtime, Hurricanes win.
Those are the type of teams that win the Cup.
Anyway, it's such a good spectator sport, folks.
I just don't know what to tell you, man.
And the Sox, I think, slapped around Houston last night.
After fucking...
Kicked around.
After Evaldi got beat like a housewife.
And last night, Pavetta, again, I'm sorry to boy, people aren't Red Sox.
Nick Pavetta, who's last year won 17 of 16 games.
This year has been horrible.
He's 0-7, I think.
His ERA is over 7.
He's like the worst starting pitcher for us right now.
Goes all nine innings.
Gives up two hits.
Nobody goes nine innings anymore.
Nobody.
All nine.
Two hits against the Astros.
Anyways,
we're still 12 and a half out.
They're fucking Yankees.
They haven't done
this in a long time, the Yanks, with all the money
they spend. They haven't come out of the gates this strong.
So do the Red Sox spend just
as much, honestly, if not more.
Okay.
That killed three minutes. Let me write that down cross out sports look at this we can't make a pen in this country that
fucking works this Christ gonna use the sharpie oh that reminds me I'm gonna
bring these to the gig this weekend I won't be a settlement selling
merchandise out but it's all the club will. I'll be standing there like a doofus going, hi, how are you?
Anyways, let's get to it.
Speaker doofus, Janko Dimowitz.
Who's that?
The Department of Homeland Security's Disinformation Governance Board, which really means we'll tell you what to believe and what the truth is, Republicans.
How this even got this far in this country
in 2022 makes me want to shit blood. Oh, it did. The governance board, listen to this,
it's being put on hold only a few weeks after its establishment was announced to the public.
I didn't even know it was official, I'm going to be honest with you. And board director Nina Jankiewicz will resign,
sources told the AP.
Who's not happy about that?
According to the Washington Post,
Department of Homeland Security
made the decision on Monday,
excuse me,
and that the following morning
the board's leader, Nina Jankiewicz,
had a resignation letter already drafted.
I love it.
Whether Jankiewicz ultimately decides to leave DHS remains up in the air.
The Post reported, as the department offered to let her stay, despite the agency suspending all groups that have been focusing on what the Biden administration refers to as the
mis-disinformation or MDM.
Aren't they clever, huh?
They are.
Exactly.
What the field?
Do you want to be?
Exactly.
In the meantime, DHS, that's Danvers High School where I graduated, is defending Jankiewicz against attacks from the right
based on her past positions, mostly doggy and social media posts,
including casting doubt
on the legitimacy
of the New York Post reporting
on Hunter Biden's laptop.
What does that tell you?
They hired a person.
She was going to be
head of disinformation.
And after everybody proved
that the laptop was real,
she was saying it was false still.
And that's who's going to tell you
it's real.
May your mother die
in a fire tonight. And that's who's going to tell you it's real. May your mother die in a fire tonight.
Hunter Biden's
laptop before the 2020 election.
So I wonder
why they suspended it.
Did they do a poll and see how many people
were against it? My theory
is that with the midterms coming up, they're realizing
how unpopular it is, so they have to suspend it
early enough. Well, that's what I mean. They must have taken a poll.
That's 100% what they're doing.
Yeah, exactly.
You fucking whore.
Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.
Mary Poppins.
This is the nutbag.
This is the nutbag Jankowitz that was going to be in charge of all this at her best.
Bouldering is really quite ferocious.
It's when a hockster takes some lies and makes them sound precocious
by saying them in Congress or a mainstream outlet. So disinformation's origins are slightly
less atrocious.
Get out of my room, you sick cunt.
That might be the best time sound drop ever. I was proud of that one. I said, where did Dallas get a hold of this
fucker? Anyways. Yeah. So they're imploding, everybody. They're imploding. People are
finally catching on. Maybe it took 40 years, honestly. But I don't know, and I'll ask this question again, what is going to be left of the Democrat Party once they get smoked in the midterms, which is a guarantee, and they lose the White House?
Where do they go from there?
They've showed us all their cards, right?
They've showed us that they're true Marxists or socialists, whatever you want to call it.
So where do they go from here?
the Socialists, whatever you want to call it.
So where do they go from here?
Which is the way that's clear.
Still looking for that blue jean,
baby queen, prettiest girl I ever seen.
See you shake up on the movie screen,
Billie Jean.
Rock on.
Something like that.
Again, I fucked up the lyrics because that was a hit in 1976.
Let's move on and stay on the Democrats, shall we?
It's hot in this motherfucker. Musk rips the Democrats. Elon Musk tore into the Democrat party
in a Wednesday tweet calling them the party of division and hate. You are correct, sir. I love this picture of Elon. This is why I kind of like him.
I mean, that expression is kind of like, yeah, I'm a serious guy, but I'm really not. Like,
yeah, I get that. I don't know. I like that expression. He looks like with a tuxedo.
It actually looks like a scene out of Titanic when they're dancing and he's the rich guy.
In the past I voted Democrat because they were mostly the kindness party.
Now here's what he says, but they've become the party of division and hate so I can no
longer support them and will vote Republican.
Now watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold.
Leave that there.
Let me just break this down.
It scares me a little
that he says he voted in the past because they were the party of kindness i don't remember that
i gotta be honest with you if you were paying attention you could see they were full of shit
when i was 28 years old anyways they had him fooled one of the brightest guys on but you know
he's not a politician but they have become the party of division and
hate bingo got that right so he's not going to support him and will vote republican which i'd
like he actually committed now he says watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold
and boy they already pulled him off the s&p 500 his company or whatever the fuck it is
already pulled it off and now they're investigating for hiring practices in environmental problems.
This is Tesla.
The guy who met at Tesla.
Environmental problems?
And like I heard on the radio on the way here, he's first on the list.
Exxon is 10th.
Is the world not upside down? Fucking backwards have lost their ever can imagine that he's
a threat to them they just i guess that's how the left the dirty marxist fight but where do you want
me right here or over here right there um yeah he says they were party of kindness but they become the party of hate blah blah blah so
that kind of creeps him out i'm like how bright is he but he really is um but he's so right about
the dirty trex campaign already happening the multi-billionaire said he will vote republican
for likely the first time in his life again it makes me question uh in the 2022 midterm election, you know why? Because he's young back then, and
youngsters believe that fucking kindness. We're all going to hold hands and finger pop each other.
That's the idealistic thing. That's right, which young kids, and especially kids his age coming
off of college campus, but I'm sure he didn't even go to college. Midterm election after overwhelming voting Democrat in the past. He said the Democrat
party is controlled by unions
and trial lawyers,
which is the absolute truth.
If you look at the people who belong
to the bar, it's like 89%
Democrat and shit.
You're out of order!
You're out of order! The whole trial
is out of order! They're out of
order! Guys, if you haven't seen that You're out of order The whole trial is out of order They're out of order
Guys, if you haven't seen that movie
What was it called? I forget
That's when he was the mayor
I mean, he was the
And he goes
Don't you care, Arthur
Don't you care
I might never have voted for a Republican, just to be clear,
Musk said during a Tuesday. Why? Is that a dirty thing? He said that in an all-in podcast. Not as
funny as this, or as honest. Now this election, I will. Which is saying, I love it. I love it.
He's sticking it right up. He says, it definitely feels like this is not right, Musk added. The issue here is that the Democrat Party is overly controlled by the unions and by trial lawyers.
Yeah, just like fucking Marxists, particularly class action lawyers.
In the case of Biden, he is simply too much captured by the unions, which was not the case with Mr. Obama.
Yeah, that's about the only thing you can say about him.
He was in bed with Wall Street more than the Republicans, if you look at his record.
Anyways, Obama was a really honest guy.
We will keep this promise to the American people.
If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor.
Period.
If you like your health care plan, you will be able to keep your health care plan. Boy, he lied beautifully. Period. If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan.
Boy, he lied beautifully. Period.
If your sister gets cranky once a month, she's having her period.
All right, then.
Liberals have not taken kindly to Musk vowing to allow former President Donald Trump return to the platform when he officially takes over the social media company.
Then White House Press Secretary
Red Bush shrubbery
Jen Psaki, no longer
there, replaced by a lying black
woman, said the administration is
determined to prevent platforms
from spreading disinformation.
Who the fuck do you think
they're trying to stop spreading disinformation from those platforms? Disinformation. Who the fuck do you think?
They're trying to stop spreading disinformation from those platforms.
She said that at a May 10th briefing, and I yelled out,
Shut your fucking mouth!
Shut the fuck up, you cunt!
I just heard the guy who was yelling at go, no problem.
Did you hear?
Listen.
Shut your fucking mouth!
Shut the fucking mouth! No problem, John.
Shut the fuck up!
I never fucking heard that before.
No problem, John.
Musk has been highly critical of the left,
recently stating the far left hates everyone,
themselves included.
You couldn't argue with that statement in a million years.
Noting that he does not support the far right either.
What's funny about the far right is they're really just, to me, pro-lifers.
He says they were the party of religious zealots.
And yeah, they were in the 50s i mean the fucking catholic church has ripped to shreds i mean i mean i mean i don't know what the
far right yes uh white supremacists but those aren't that's not far right politicians we're
talking about those are just nutcases uh anyhow any he i'm glad he came out and said, hey, Democrats, kiss my grits. Movie is
Injustice for All. Injustice for
All. Very good. Injustice for All.
Don't you care,
Arthur? I hope that was from that movie.
Or Dog Day Afternoon, but I think
it was that one. Just
plays a fucking New York lawyer so good.
Anyways, speaking of
savvy politicians, I gotta be honest with you
because I don't follow this shit like I'm Tom Brokaw in 1974, but I had never heard of this woman.
Maybe we have mentioned her in the past. I don't know. Ricky Lake. No, Carrie Lake. Ricky Lake.
This woman, Carrie Lake, say hi to the next possible
governor of Arizona.
All I had to see was a two-minute clip of her, and I would
vote for her. Journalists
were not
ready for Carrie Lake.
Carrie Lake was not there
to play games. Here you have, once again,
a journalist, which
this is what the press
consists of now. 89% of it is young girls with a fucking, you know,
communications journalism degree out of a junior college in Jacksonville,
and they have no idea what they're doing.
And you see it, and again, you can just tell her beliefs after you watch this.
It's unreal.
And there's little Carrie Lake looking all innocent
and shit. She might as well be like a cougar
behind a rock who hasn't eaten in
three weeks. Watch her bitch
slap this little...
It's...
You know why this is great? First of all,
it was two women. So there was some cattiness
that only women
can... You know what I mean?
And... Arguing-wise wise she was already prepared for what this was coming like most politicians are you are republicans who exist now why don't you watch her
that watch her cut this you might as well have a switchblade in her hand watch this encounter she
destroys this poor young lady good um i have many other questions i know you do but i don't
have the time for it because we're doing an event in here we're gonna go watch the movie 2000 mules
which i hope that the arizona republic will finally open their eyes and cover that's the
paper what's happening with our elections and stop acting like it's a conspiracy theory our
elections were stolen from us our elections were corrupt and and the
calling it a fraud it instead of what what we really had which was a top-notch audit of our
elections proved that there was election fraud that our elections were corrupt what specifically
in the audit findings is my favorite to send you and you need to it's not my job to educate you on what that I feel like since we're on camera I would love for
you to provide any evidence backing up that claim can you read yes okay then go
look at it and read it okay and actually you should sit in and go to a movie not
this one because we actually don't want the Republic in there but you should
take the time spend the money because we actually don't want the Republic in there. But you should take the time, spend the money,
because we're all sold out, actually.
But also,
we prefer to have the people
that we've invited.
Thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
What's the idea?
That's what this was.
Get upstairs.
Sit down.
Oh my god And as she's leaving
She's landing shots
You understand if that was a box of mats
They would have stopped it 10 seconds in
She was beating this girl senseless
And she goes we don't want the Republican there
That's the paper that this girl works for,
which don't let the name fool you.
They're obviously a left fucking leaning publication.
But this woman bitch slapped her.
How'd you like to be married to her
and argue with her about the checkbook or something?
But let me tell you, as a politician,
this is how I feel about Carrie Lake.
I love you for helping me to construct my life.
Not a tavern, but a temple.
I love you because you have done so much to make me happy.
And hard.
He's kind of cute, too, for an old lady.
Old lady, she's 10 years younger than me.
I really get a lot of balls, honest to God. Whatever happened
to the reporter, this is, oh,
this is a quote I took from, I like
to read the comment sections after to get
people's take on it,
because there's usually some funny zinger, but
this person, guy or girl, I don't
know, said, whatever happened
to the, in quotes,
the reporter was granted an interview.
These liberal kids, which is what
she was, with a microphone
and a journalism degree, act like
they're doing the interviewed person a
favor. That is so
exactly right. Then proceed
to peel the hide off conservatives'
backs. Carrie Lake showed
the GOP how it's done. She's
a strong person with a great
future and a nice set of fun backs.
Yes, sir!
You might have to follow her a little
more closely. Yes.
I plan on going out to her property
tonight.
I'll be on a 12-foot ladder
looking in her shower.
Did she not take
her apart at the joint?
It was almost painful to watch.
That little girl's probably driving a forklift now for a living.
Holy fucking moly.
But I love it.
You've got to call these weasels on their bullshit.
And it's not done enough.
When reporters, and they're all lefties,
asking Republicans anything at any time,
that should be the tone of the exchange.
I don't care what you're talking about.
Every time you should point out, because here's my thinking.
They control the media for the most part, right?
We have Fox News and a little bit of radio.
So almost every news show, it's MSNBC,
MSNBC, CBS, ABC, all the big ones, NBC, obviously CNN. They're on every TV anywhere. So if you're
a Republican, you have a duty to put that shit out there. You know what I mean? Because it's being
seen by a lot of people
since they have all the outlets, really.
So even if it's not,
even if it has nothing to do with what you're talking about,
give them a fucking,
by the way, you're a cheating asshole.
End everything with that.
I don't know, you might pick up a few votes.
Listen to me.
Let's, here's another weasel,
only of a different kind.
Jake the Snake is the headline.
This was, this is kind of interesting.
Sports world.
The Yankees cut 2019 third-round pick Jake Sanford last Thursday.
I should have done a reverse of races.
Now I'm looking at this.
You know why?
Because he's a third-round pick of three years ago.
If this story was on a black guy, would they even put it in the paper?
No. It's a white guy stealing.
Not bases.
They cut him for allegedly stealing from his minor league teammates
and scamming people for money online.
You're a crumb creep.
Oh, my God.
According to a source, the 24-year-old outfielder was released last week
after a teen investigation found Sanford and his son,
ba-ba-ba-da, no, had stolen from teammates, including equipment,
that he would then try to sell online as first reported by New Jersey Advanced Media.
He would steal equipment from his own teammates and sell it online.
Got to have a drug problem or something.
Additionally, a source said Sanford, who played college baseball at Western Kentucky,
by the way, they have a good football team.
They're now Division I, I believe.
They were 1AA for all.
Also accepted money from prospective buyers for the equipment get this then fails to deliver the products
He's doing a double steal
in baseball terms he's stealing the equipment from
Teammates ripping them off and then ripping off people pay for it. He doesn't send it to him. Give me his address
I need a manager. Oh
My god, got to grow up.
You're not a kid anymore. The issues another source said could be related to gambling debts.
The Yankees declined to comment on the situation. Ruben Rivera, if you remember him,
once a prize prospect for the Yankees. He
was released by the Yankees during the spring training in 2002 for stealing Derek Jeter's
glove and bat. Oh my, what a teammate. And reportedly selling them. Rivera was a cousin
of Mariano Rivera, who is just the opposite. You know, I'm a Red Sox fan. I hate the Yankees. Mario Ravanna was one of the classiest dudes.
And here's when I really loved him.
They had him, the Yankees, the Red Sox opened with the Yankees.
Was this after 2004?
Mariano gave up the winning hit, the home run.
God, my memory.
So anyways, opening day, the next season at Fenway, the Yankees are there.
You know, they introduce all the players.
And when they introduced Mariano Rivera, they fucking –
Fenway gave him a mock chair because he handed the Sox a big game.
And he didn't just stand there and be serious.
He tipped his hat and started laughing.
Made me love him.
I mean, he was a
class act, Mariano Rivera.
Anyways, but that made me,
that endeared him to Red Sox fans.
I mean, he was just a guy that
first ballot Hall of Fame in a second.
Maybe the greatest reliever ever.
And then you got
the Ruben Rivera's and the Jake the Snakes of the world.
Anyways,
Mariano Rivera was his cousin.
Just signed to return to the Yankees earlier that spring.
We're talking about Ruben Rivera.
Sanford was drafted in 2019, received a signing bonus.
How about of $597,500?
Rounded off to $600,000.
And he's selling, you know, aluminum bats and jocks for $18. It's that
mentality of the NFL players who are making millions a year, then they get busted selling
drugs out of their apartment. It's, again, like the article said, it has to be a gambling debt
or a drug. I would think, you can't be that dumb, can you? Although, Ken, you're a Yankee prospect.
According to one American League scout, Sanford you're a Yankee prospect. According to one
American League scout, Sanford was not considered
an elite prospect, which likely made it
easy for the franchise to cut
ties with him.
The outfield split
last season between a low-A Tampa
and high-A Hudson Valley, and he hit
a combined 16 home runs and finished
with an OPS of
823.
That's on base plus slugging percentage for you people who are new to the game of baseball,
which was a clip by football about 50 years ago as far as the past time.
But anyways, still love it.
This country is queer for football.
That was a bumper sticker in kentucky for basketball kentucky queer for basketball uh meaning it in a positive way um here's some more
sports news kind of a duel only these guys didn't have swords in their hands. No, no, no, no!
A trucker brings knife to gunfight.
Anybody know where I got that from?
No, I'm not going to remember the movie.
Sean Connery.
The Untouchables.
Sean Connery says it to whatever cost.
Now, whoever's in the movie, I forget who played the good guy.
He goes, typical guinea or typical wop.
Something very offensive to me.
Typical guinea, bringing a knife to a gunfight.
And his Irish brogue.
Oh, I fucking loved it.
Anyways, a knife-swinging truck driver named Nancy, lesbian, no,
and a gun-toting motorcyclist faced off in the street.
Road rage confrontation in Florida on Tuesday.
Video shows.
The rowdy encounter unfolded after Rafael Rivera.
Boy, another Rivera.
Bunch of trouble-making Riveras out there.
Now, this is the guy that I would end up in a road rage with,
actually knocking a beer out of his hand by accident.
Look at this fucking guy. That ain't good news.
That beard right there says I like Mr. T, even when I'm going to chemo.
The rowdy encounter unfolded after Rafael Rivera, 50,
who was driving a gray Toyota Tacoma,
again, Toyota, the official car of the angry minority,
allegedly cut in front of a motorcyclist.
This is beautiful.
You get an angry truck driver cutting off a biker
at the intersection of Pine Lakes Parkway and Whirlway Drive
just after 1 p.m., according to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office.
So I guess he gets cut off by the biker?
Oh, no.
No!
What the fuck are you talking to?
When the two vehicles came to a stop,
Rivera got out of the truck with a knife.
This guy.
Are you going to go to prison the rest of your life
because a guy cut you off, you fucking psycho?
With a knife in his hands,
an approach to motorcyclists, according to footage
released by the sheriff's office,
the motorcycle's expecting confrontation
slipped on a pair of brass knuckles,
which we all carry in our...
Let's take...
Let's go to the videotape.
Oh, boy, is this
great!
Do it!
Go ahead, do it! You got a knife, he doesn't have nothing!
Shut up, woman's rowing in it.
Oh! Oh!
Oh, babe, I got it on film!
Put the down right now!
No, he ain't so tough.
Get the witnesses.
Witnesses.
You got a knife in your hand.
Put the f***ing knife down.
Get on your bike and go.
You just swiped at him with a knife.
Shut up, woman.
I got it right here.
You know what?
Ruin that.
You know, ladies, whether you're a girlfriend or a wife,
and your husband's in a dispute with a psychotic, you know what? Ruin that. You know, let me, ladies, whether you're a girlfriend or a wife and your husband's in
a dispute with a psychotic, you know what?
Either walk away or just be quiet.
Do you really think you're going to help?
That's what he wants to hear.
He's going to turn around and get stabbed looking at you, end up shooting you if you
don't shut up.
It's like the guy in the stands at a football game.
Some guy's about to kick the winning field goal against his team,
and he's screaming from the 580th balcony.
You really think you're going to have an effect?
I mean, he needs all the, his life is on the line.
You think he needs, shut it.
Just because I, shut it.
He shoots him and then shoots her.
That would be a great sketch.
I can't believe I'm not writing.
Anyways, Rivera can then be seen heard calling the police. That would be the truck driver with
a knife. I just had a guy pull a gun at me. What a scumbag. Moments later, Flagler County deputies
responded to the scene and detained both men as they investigated the incident, cops said. After reviewing the
footage taken by the passenger, it was ruled incomplete. He did have not complete control
of the knife. And interviewing witnesses, Rivera was arrested, that would be the bald
guy with the knife, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.
What was he trying to cut? What are you to cut? He was taken to the Sheriff Perry Hall
inmate detention facility
where he's being held
without bond.
You gotta give props to the biker.
This guy was a bit of a scumbag.
I'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face in.
Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staley
said he applauded the way
the biker handled the situation.
After his life was clearly threatened,
he lawfully defended himself
and then de-escalated the situation,
Staley said in a statement,
which you couldn't do if you didn't have a gun on you.
The offender is lucky he was not shot.
This guy is a big fan of this guy.
I also remind the community
to not take traffic enforcement in your own hands
and control your anger.
Call the sheriff's office instead.
Why, so they can show up 10 minutes later
after I'm already stabbed to death?
That's faggot stuff.
You want to call it by its name?
That's strictly for fags.
You want to call it by its name?
Here we go.
I think it's the final story.
This is, it's the end of the week
so we always end it on a light
kind of a lighter note
you know
this one's about a baby
getting hit by a truck twice
no
you're gonna need a bigger boat
is the headline
breathtaking pictures
show an enormous
20 foot
great white shark it looks bigger than that, thought
to be the biggest ever prowling the ocean.
So I think it's more about girth than it was about length.
But listen to this, weighing a scale-busting two and a half tons, two tons is 4,000, 5,000
pounds they're talking about.
I caught about a four-pound bass.
I was sweating my balls off for now.
5,000-pound fish.
The mighty beast, you got to love,
dubbed Deep Blue,
measures up at an incredible eight feet in height.
What'd they do, stand him on his tail and have him dunk?
Eight feet in height with huge fins and razor-sharp teeth.
Well, thanks for telling Shark.
He doesn't have veneers.
What the fuck's the matter with these people?
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with you?
Look at them.
You're saying a movie, folks.
Stunning snaps show the mesmerizing creature
who is thought to be more than 50 years old.
Finally, somebody my age.
Dwarfing divers daring to swim alongside her.
These divers, let me tell you,
and there's some chicks there, too.
They got some huge fucking stonerinis, huh?
We're going
to show you a clip to give you perspective put it into scale just how big uh this shark is check it
out oh that's a small little fish. Hope it doesn't break my line.
My drop line.
Look at this mamalouk.
People swimming next to it.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies.
Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain.
For we've received orders for the sail back to Boston.
And soon, I don't know where, shall we see you again?
Look how little they look.
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
How about them girls?
One of them yelled to the shark,
Y'all fat fuck, look at ya!
That is a real picture, folks.
That looks like a movie poster, right?
It does. Reminds you of Jaws, and you're like, really?
I'm gonna do a...
What's his name?
Hooper. Richard Dreyfuss. Ye yelling at the mayor, pointing at the billboard.
Do you see that?
That's about right.
That's about scale.
That's right.
You're going to ignore this problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass.
You just want to get your picture in an oceanographic.
I laugh like Richard Dreyfuss now. I laughed like Richard
Dreyfuss and now I've been told.
The gigantic great white,
we got pictures, right?
Sent ripples across the world
when she was first caught. Oh, they caught
on camera in 2014 off the coast
of Guadalupe. God bless the fish.
Over
50 years old. You can't leave it alone, let it be. Divers
Mark Moeller and Kimberly Jeffries were able to identify her as Deep Blue. That's
what my wife calls my balls. Thanks to a tag she was implanted with while marine
experts also recognized the unique markings on her body, fake tits and you
know a wig. Experts believe Deep Blue is the largest great white ever seen and has lived for more than
five decades, despite often lifespan reducing things like pollution, hunting, and fishing.
Gotta love an animal like this.
Despite their notoriety for being dangerous sharks, Deep Blue does not have an aggressive
personality.
Yeah, says you.
Love these people.
Yeah, not right now Love these people. Yeah,
not right now it doesn't.
You know what I mean? Even my dad was nice a few times.
According to experts,
previously pictures showed marine biologist Ocean Ramsey swimming
side by side with the creature
while holding one of her fins.
Oh my god.
Her seemingly docile behavior was partly, they think,
put down to the fact that she had just fed on a whale carcass.
Yeah, a whale carcass.
Delicious.
Thank you.
Or a family of three up the coast of Melbourne.
And while it was not possible to take an exact measurement,
the colossal beast looked like it could be larger than 20 feet shark,
Deep Blue, who currently holds the title of the biggest white shark on the planet.
5,000 pounds.
You know, and it still doesn't do it justice, right? 5,000 pounds.
You know, and it still doesn't do it justice, right?
Unless you're there.
You know what I mean?
To see that thing, I'll put that on my bucket list.
And I do mean at the very end of the list.
Especially without a cage.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, fuck.
I wouldn't want to be in the cage either. You know what I mean? I don't think I'd want to be near it. Caged, exactly. Well, fuck. I wouldn't want to be in the cage either.
What I mean?
I don't think I'd want to be near it.
Caged, okay.
We all saw the movie.
Those sharks will bite right through that cage.
Anyways. Anyways.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Very well and adieu to the ladies of Spain.
For we've received orders to sail back to Boston.
And so nevermore shall we see you again.
Chief, Mayor, Dallas, ladies and gentlemen.
That's it, folks.
That is it for the week.
Again, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Thank yous?
No?
Not this week?
All right.
Yeah, we're not going to thank you this week.
Fuck you.
No, we didn't get it.
We don't have the sheet.
Anyways, again, thanks for watching every week. Don't. No, we didn't get it. We don't have the sheet. Anyways, again, thanks for
watching every week. Don't forget to sign
up monthly. It is
a very honest, very funny show, in my opinion.
But what does that matter? Thecomicsgym.com
Patreon.com
Go to nickdip.com
if you'd like to buy something or check out my tour
dates. I will be tomorrow night
and Saturday night
Myrtle Beach, the Comedy
Cabana. Two
shows each night, 7.30, 9.30.
So check it out if you're in the area.
Don't forget
Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend
or relative. Somebody told me
I had been waiting, but I don't see it on my phone.
Anyways, that's it.
You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome.
Have a great weekend.
We'll see you back here on Monday.
Take it easy. guitar solo Outro Music